#CBD College

[ashtraysystem]

me, at an event with my younger sibling: hi! could we get a couple of tickets for the drink booth please?

worker: yeah! are you 21? we've got-

me: ah, I am but I don't drink (save us both the spiel)

me internally: please stop asking me if i want alcohol if i want alcohol i will ask for alcohol i do not automatically want alcohol ever aaaaaa

[candaceclaire]

SEW, I bought a Business...

It is not very often that a beautiful story falls into your lap, and you have the opportunity to become part of it. I am blessed to say this has happened to me and I have found a place I didn’t realise I was looking for, but I now know feeds my soul. My husband is a serial entrepreneur, and he finds it enthralling to either start businesses or buy them and grow his current crop. For me, I left…

[champagnemoon]

That period of time when every mom was in a pyramid scheme was so hectic and draining

[fantasticmusicbear-blog]

[daichislover]

same time next week? (Law college au)

summary: feeling more anxious than ever, you find yourself seeking help from Luffy’s med student friend, someone you've never had the chance to meet before

warnings: fluff, swear words, slight mention of prescriptions, mentions of smoking weed/vaping/CBD, slight mention of drinking (be responsible y’all!), law keeps his place TIDYYY you can’t tell me otherwise, implied plug!law lol

word count: 1337

MDNI

You don’t want to do this.

You stand at this random person’s door, double-checking your phone to ensure you’re at the right apartment number that Luffy gave you. Nervousness tightens your chest. What's the worst that could happen? A simple 'no'? But then again, you've never met this man; anything could happen. Taking a deep breath, you muster the courage to knock but are interrupted by a text.

From: Luffy 

“He’s not that bad, I swear! You’ll get along just fine.”

Easy for him to say, you think, shutting off your phone with a sigh. He could befriend a wall if he tried. After shutting off your phone, you turn to the door. As you finally go to knock, the door swings open abruptly, revealing a man in a penguin hat holding a trash bag. 

Not noticing your presence, the strange man collides into you. You stumble back as he falls, the bag ripping open, trash spilling all over. Groaning, he sits up, then realizes what - or who - he just ran into. “Oh shit… ARE YOU OKAY?” he exclaims, scrambling to his feet.

Stepping back from the spilled trash, you reply, “I’m fine. I’m sorry I didn’t move out of your way.” You then offered to help clean up, but he shakes his head at you and waves off your apology. “Why were you standing outside our door anyways? You lost or somethin’?”

Before you could respond, another figure steps out from the apartment - a tall, tattooed man in a black t-shirt and gray sweatpants. Your eyes widen at the sight of him. This man is very, very attractive and catches you off-guard, fueling your anxiety. You start to blush.

He sighs at the scene before him. “You had one job,” he mutters to the first man, who can only laugh. After bickering back and forth about the mess in the hallway, the trash-covered man turns to you with a smile.

“Whatcha need, sweetheart? My name's Penguin” With a shaky smile, you introduce yourself and add, “I’m looking for a Trafalgar Law? My friend Luffy mentioned-" 

“That’s me. Call me Law.” The gorgeous man interrupts. His smirk doesn’t help your pounding heart as he invites you inside, telling his roommate to clean up the mess.

Walking into the apartment was like walking into a magazine. The place is unexpectedly pristine, a stark contrast to the chaos outside. “Woah…” You say to yourself while looking around. The living room is spacious, featuring a sleek black leather couch and a TV mounted above a fireplace. How can a couple of college kids afford this place?

Another guy emerges from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. “I know right? Law’s basically an interior designer. If becoming a doctor doesn’t work out, you’ll definitely see him on HGTV or whatever that home design channel is.” You laugh, feeling your nerves slightly disappear. Law dismisses the comment with a glare and leads you to his room. "Don't mind Shachi, he loves to be an ass."

You follow him down a hallway, and he opens a door on the left, ushering you inside his room. You murmur a soft "thank you" as you step inside, taking in the neatly arranged space. Aside from a desk cluttered with medical books and papers, everything is meticulously tidy. You slowly scan the room, absorbing the details, while he settles into a chair at his desk. As you admire a collection on his shelf, you notice something familiar.

“Is that the ‘Sora, Warrior of the Sea’ collection?” You look closer to double check, and smile when you realize that you’re right. He doesn’t say anything for a while, but then clears his throat. “Yeah, been collecting them for a while. You read?” You mention how you and your brother, Sanji, grew up reading them together. He nods, not saying anything further.

After a few beats of silence, you realize that you forgot why you were there in the first place. Panicking, you start to stutter. “I- uh. Um..” He cocks his head at you, waiting to hear what you were trying to say. You feel yourself getting flustered again and widen your eyes. “Uh-”

“Luffy mentioned something about you needing my help? What can I do for you?” His expression was unreadable, yet he seemed to be listening intently.

You inhale deeply, gathering your thoughts before you start speaking. "Since starting college, my anxiety has worsened, and it’s hard to afford prescribed medication with my tight budget," you explain. "I mentioned exploring alternatives like weed to Luffy, and he suggested that I talk to you. Is there any way you can help me?" You stand there, gripping at your purse. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea; your nerves kick in again and you feel like running away from embarrassment.

Law nods and turns to his desk, pulling open a drawer to retrieve a vape pen, which he extends towards you. You take it, examining the unfamiliar device with a mix of curiosity and uncertainty. Seeing your puzzled expression, Law asks, "Have you ever smoked or vaped before?" You shake your head. "No, I only drink when I go out."

He hums thoughtfully and gestures for you to hand it back. "Let me show you how it works, then." He carefully demonstrates how to use the vape pen, explaining each step as he goes, before handing it back to you. "Ready to give it a try?" Despite your hesitation, you nod. Law's demeanor instills a sense of trust, but the nerves are still there—after all, this is your first time smoking.

“You’ll probably cough quite a bit on your first try, but don’t worry, you’ll be okay. I’ve got some water ready if you need it,” he reassures you. You nod, feeling your palms begin to sweat.

You bring the pen up to your mouth, and inhale. The feeling was weird and very foreign, but not so bad. Immediately after, you feel a horrible burning sensation in your lungs and throat and start coughing. 

God, how embarrassing. Law quickly grabs his glass of water and hands it to you and you drink it immediately, thankful for his preparedness. After a couple of minutes, and a refill of water later, you finally start to calm down. You look over at Law and see him smirking. “So, how was your first hit?” he asks.

“What do you think?” you retort, half-embarrassed, half-amused. He smiles, turning back to his desk. “See how the pen works for you from now on, then we can discuss other options. That’s yours to keep, no charge. Consider it a first-timer’s discount.” Smiling, you whisper a quick “thank you” and take another hit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a few hours filled with small talk, you find yourself surprisingly at ease with Law. As the evening unfolds, you not only learn more about him but also share aspects of yourself that you usually keep reserved during a first meeting. His company is surprisingly delightful, and you make a mental note to thank Luffy later.

Stretching your arms, you suddenly realize how late it has become. "Oh my god, I didn't realize the time—I have a paper due tomorrow!" you exclaim, hastily grabbing your purse as Law rises and stretches alongside you. Catching a glimpse of his tattooed abdomen, you feel a flush of warmth. Can he get any hotter? You quickly avert your gaze before he notices you staring.

He leads you to the door, passing his roommates who are deeply engrossed in a video game, oblivious to your departure. At the front door, you pause and turn to face him. Law doesn’t seem like the type of person who gives goodbye hugs, which is really more like your style, so you simply smile at him instead.

"Thanks again for everything," you say, gratitude coloring your voice. "When should I come back?" He returns your smile, his eyes slightly lighting up. "Same time next week?"

Your cheeks warm at his smile, and you find yourself nodding eagerly. "Yeah, that sounds perfect."

a/n: idk why, but college law just seems like the type of guy to be a plug LOL hope y'all enjoy

'til next time!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if i asked my friend to stop talking about cigarettes and nicotine related things with me? (cw for lots of talk ab smoking and cancer)

i (18ftm) have a friend in my psychology class (18f) who smokes cigarettes frequently and has been talking about considering switching to vapes.

for some backstory, my father passed away around two years ago now from lung cancer and complications, brought on by smoking cigarettes. he was undergoing chemo and radiotherapy, also self-medicating with CBD tablets to help with the pain.

i’m only just registering this part of my life now and have not really gone to therapists or councillors as i didn’t need it until now, but i recently got an appointment for this along with a referral for potential OCD and health anxiety that may or may not have been caused because of my dad’s smoking and illness.

i go to a uk college in the countryside so there are naturally a lot of kids who smoke both weed and nicotine, and a lot who vape.the issue here is that ive found the smell of cigarettes sends me into an anxious state and makes me feel sick/nauseous. the smell of weed is fine usually for me.

i hate to say it but i do not like smokers. if you’ve been doing it for a while, there’s no point in asking ‘does it smell like i’ve gone for a smoke?’ the answer is always yes, it sticks even through deodorant and perfume and stains your teeth and nails, it smells to the people around you and don’t even get me started on second hand smoking.

the friend i’m talking about is in my psych class and smokes very frequently to the point i can smell it on her whenever we meet up. this wouldn’t be an issue in itself as i am trying my best to ignore it and learn to deal with the anxious shakes i get around her, but the issue is that she constantly brings cigarettes and smoking up.

i’ve asked her not to smoke around me if possible and if she needs one i will gladly leave or wait for her in another spot . however when she doesn’t have a smoke or can’t have one for whatever reason she’ll still talk about how she gets cigarettes, how her mum feels about them, how her brother smokes, how she wants one really bad. she’s now switched to talking about how she wants to switch to vapes, which again i still don’t appreciate because it’s still talking about nic to me.

she’s ignored this multiple times despite knowing about my father’s issues. or she’ll talk about it for a long time then go ‘oh sorry, about your dad, i should stop talking about this’. it’s not a big big thing as we only hang out from time to time (mostly on a walk to the bus stop every monday afternoon).

i feel like i’d then be being a dick for saying that i’d appreciate her stopping talking about it while i’ve already asked her to not smoke around me. wibta?

What are these acronyms?

[lifewithchronicpain]

What gives the cannabis sativa plant it’s pain-relieving properties?

Most people will tell you it’s cannabidiol (CBD) and/or tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the two most well-known chemical compounds found in cannabis.

But researchers at University of Arizona Health Sciences say terpenes -- aromatic compounds that give cannabis its distinctive “skunky” smell – have analgesic effects as well. In fact, in a new study published in the journal PAIN, they report that cannabis terpenes are just as effective as morphine in reducing neuropathic pain in laboratory animals.

“A question that we’ve been very interested in is could terpenes be used to manage chronic pain?” lead researcher John Streicher, PhD, a Pharmacology Professor at UA’s College of Medicine in Tucson, said in a press release. “What we found is that terpenes are really good at relieving a specific type of chronic pain with side effects that are low and manageable.”

Terpenes are found in all plants and are the main component of essential oils. Terpenes give lavender, sage and eucalyptus oils their distinctive smells, which are used to promote relaxation or even reduce pain and inflammation. In nature, terpenes help plants attract pollinators such as bees or to protect themselves from predators. (Read more at link)

Doesn’t surprise me at all. Sometimes pot is pain relieving, and sometimes it just makes it easier to watch tv in pain. I’m really fond of Wedding Cake for pain relief.

[edai-crplpnk]

Some Team 8 + Sand Sibs chara sheets

I procrastinated writing yesterday by doing little chara sheets for my polycule AU.

Kiba and Shino have been dating since they were teens. Shino and Hinata have been dating since college. Kankurou and Kiba start dating at 22/25 (I am writing this fic). Hinata and Kankurou may or may not have some queerplatonic relationship going on eventually.

I used this picrew for the sheets!

Additional facts!

Kiba:

Inuzuka Kiba isn't his legal name, he is still officially registered under his deadname and his father's family name. He might change it once his father's dead, probably not before that since he doesn't want him to know about it. The rest of the polycule handle most of his mail so he doesn't have to deal with it unless necessary.

He is Japanese through his father and Filipino through Tsume.

Hana is his half-sister (different father).

He transitioned in his late teens and has been on T + post-top surgery for some years now.

He got a hysterectomy for endometriosis.

He doesn't smoke much anymore, mostly vapes, which allows him to control CBD/THC levels and ratio better.

Kankurou:

He doesn't identify as trans, but might identify as non-binary somewhere along the way. He's fine with being seen as a man and conveniently goes by he/him, but is honestly a bit too psychotic and dissociated to really have an opinion about his gender and gendered body.

He is Jewish through his mother, but was raised by Baki (here, Rasa's half-brother) so most of his relationship with Judaism and Jewishness is self-taught reconnection.

He had only one brief relationship before Kiba and had sort of settled for the idea of not trying to look for partners (both romantically and sexually) because it was a lot of work and socialisation and it didn't feel all that too important for him, but hey, shit happens. (Kiba happens, and it's good shit.)

He gets a colectomy and stoma bag for his ulcerative colitis around 25 (again, the KankuKiba fic is about that). He probably won't try to get a reversal surgery in the future because he hates surgeries and hospitals.

Shino:

He mostly uses Makaton and text-to-speech as AAC. The former is easier for short indications and requests in daily life, and the latter for more complex conversations.

He gets on opioid replacement therapy sometime during his teens, although still injects occasionally as an adult.

He was initially assigned male at birth, and then reassigned female during his childhood, which he (very understandably) did not live well. Shibi defended his right to choose his gender presentation and refuse further intersex surgeries after that, and he's been mostly living as a boy/man since then. He half identifies as a cis man, half not because dissociation and plurality and trauma make gender complicated but he's sort of working through it. He'd still consider his relationship with Hinata straight, and his relationship with Kiba gay.

His parents broke up when he was a kid (in part over the decisions made about him) and Shibi raised him for the most part. He sometimes sees his mother as an adult, but they're relationship is not very good.

Hinata:

It's been a bit of a struggle to slowly acclimate Hiashi to her being part of a polyamorous relationship, but he does like Shino a lot, so that helped. (He doesn't have an excellent opinion of Kiba but they also mostly never see each other and they're happy with that.)

She has a fairly ok relationship with her family now, but being able to move out and live in group with way less hierarchy and a whole lot more community support has been very healing and helping with having more resources to maintain her relationship with her family too.

Kankurou does all her phone calls (as that of about everyone in the polycule, to be honest).

And the sibs!

Gaara:

He's had a lot of autism-related struggles as a child/teen, but functions much better as an adult now that he understands his needs better and has accommodated his daily life to them. He works as a landscaper but has a lot of at-home work hours.

Lee is his first relationship (I also have a fic about that) and he does think he's gay? But also never has thought about neither his orientation nor the idea of dating and who he would want to date much before that, so he's not sure. He's going with that for now.

He waxes his eyebrows because he compulsively plucks them otherwise. Dying his hair also helps with trying not to pluck them.

He was mostly raised by Yashamaru, who is Jewish and raised him Jewish, but has a bit of a complicated relationship with that because there was a lot of projection on Yashamaru's end, and difficulty to see him as his own person and not just his late sister's baby. He's not religious although he sort of still observant out of habit. (Ex: he doesn't necessarily care about eating kosher, but it's also the food he's used to make and eat, so he will still go for that most of the time.)

Temari (in pyjamas mode in this picture because I didn't have something less casual that fitted her style in the picrew):

She works as a diplomat and is very much a workaholic. The trauma is strong but the grind is stronger.

Just like Kankurou, she was raised by Baki and her connection to Jewishness and Judaism are mostly self-taught. She is a bit less observant than Kankurou.

She has chronic pain that she probably ignores a bit too much, but who can really stop her. (Kankurou should try and probably does.) Compression stockings enthusiast.

She has a motorcycle that Kankurou is very afraid to ride. (Gaara is okay.)

I'll probably do more in this AU later!

[2offayyo-kzt]

50+ random hcs about Sean because I have too much free time :

• One day Charmaine found a strange vase while looking for something in the garage. The next day Sean woke up to see flowers in his bong

• Sean owns a boat that he renamed "the Ocean's 12"

• Sean is the kind of guy who only celebrates Halloween to traumatize children with a real chainsaw

• He has never learned to tie his shoes, and doesn't plan to

• Sean has a lot of sleep disorders (including sleep apnea, insomnia, night terrors, confusional arousals...), so that's one of the reasons he drinks, so he can 'sleep' easily

• He suffers from bipolar disorder (type I), "The Guy Pillow", "the Casino", and "A Night Out With the Guys" were manic episodes, "Pine Barrens" a depressive episode

• The first kiss he shared with Laszlo was on a mechanical bull

• Sean and Charmaine attend couple therapy with the conclusion "put yourself in each other's shoes." Sean took the advice to the letter, wore one of his mom's dress, bought a cheap wig and stole makeup from Charmaine's purse. In the morning Charmaine woke up to see her husband dressed as a woman baking cookies and listening to the Spice Girls. 20 minutes later Charmaine changed into jeans, grabbed a bottle of wine and turned on the TV

• If Sean learns that vampires are real, he'll turn into a conspiracy theorist

• He has a scar from his liver transplant

• He secretly does drag when his wife's not at home, stealing her dresses, heels and make-up

• He owns glasses but never wears them, except when driving at night without passengers

• Sean is color blind, so he always chooses clothes with neutral colours or regular patterns (leopard, military), he is also dyslexic but not diagnosed

• He killed his father when he was a teenager (premeditated)

• Sean has a tribal tattoo on his right arm, 'Charmaine' on his left pec and 'Carpe Diem' written on his lower back

• As a child he was not allowed to watch cartoons so his childhood was forged with VHS of old movies. His favourite was Ocean Eleven 1960, it became his comfort film. He exploded with joy when he learned that there would be a remake (2001) It's also because his father forbade him to watch PBS, that today he only watches sports games and cartoons in front of the TV

• He has been fascinated by the occult and the supernatural since he was a teenager, his father considered it to be bullshit so Sean has always been discreet about it

• Sean gets frequent migraines so he uses essential oils, peppermint or CBD oil. He especially can't stand the smell of nail polish (and remover)

• He and Mikey slept together in college, mainly because they couldn't get any 'chicks'

• Sean lived in Canada for few years, so he knows some French

• He still can't identify the bushes that Laszlo has cut (the vaginas)

• He would never admit it but he loves to sew and crochet, yet he always asks his wife to put the thread in the needle because he can't do it and it makes him furious real quick

• Sean would like to grow a beard but Charmaine can't stand it because it scratches her when they kiss

• While Charmaine is a fucking danger in the kitchen, Sean is excellent, and his favorite dish to cook is lasagne. He uses his cooking skills to sell (edible) cookies in front of universities (it has a great success)

• He's had a string of odd jobs, but now he's the manager of a sex shop

yes I totally based this hc on this image :

• He wears matching underwear with Charmaine (leopard or zebra pattern)

• He has a terrible sense of hygiene; he doesn't brush his teeth because it's "too long", so he only uses mouthwash. To wash his body and hair, he borrows his wife's products, but in the past but he's already used white vinegar for washing himself because it's "more economical". And he only cuts his nails with a pair of scissors

• He has a birthmark on his ass

• He can make a "W" with his tongue

• Charmaine always prepares Sean's baths and makes sure the water is hot, even scalding, because Sean is traumatized by freezing baths (for the same reasons as Gregory in House MD)

• To this day, he's convinced that being pansexual means being attracted to "pans"

• When he was little, his mother forced him to learn the piano, he hated it, so he stopped after a year

• Every time Charmaine sees her husband watching wrestling on TV, she laughs at him saying it's soft porn, her husband's response is "you're not wrong."

• Despite his love of the ocean, he suffers from seasickness

• Sean's biggest fear is having the same baldness as his father, so he buys all kinds of miraculous products he's seen on TV to try and stem the problem

• While Charmaine is a shit at geography, Sean is pretty good

• For a short period of his adolescence he was Satanic, the only trace of which is the inverted pentagram he had scarified on his arm, which is why he always wears long sleeves, to hide his numerous self-inflicted scars

• To reach Sean you have to call him, he never replies to messages, if you're lucky he read, and if you're extra lucky he put an "👍" emoji

• When Sean goes to the bathroom, you don't see him again for at least 30 mins. Charmaine often wondered what Sean did to take so much time to shit, and he simply replied that it was his only moment of peace of the day

• Since he's a "man" he's not supposed to cry, so he only cries in front of movies (his love for the Ocean's trilogy is explained by the fact that it's the only time he allows himself to sob)

• He has a naturally artistic temperament : storytelling, crochet, painting etc...

• When he eats, he always starts with dessert because "the best comes first"

• At the beginning of their relationship, he and Charmaine had a little dog (Toy Poodle) named "Biscuit". One day, Sean almost killed the dog by sitting on it while being stoned (the Sopranos ref)

• He's an energy vampire (only Colin knows about it)

• During the pandemic curfew, he drank hydroalcoholic gel out of desperation because he had run out of beer at home

• He has a stuffed animal named "Badger", It was a bear but now he looks more like a rag, Charmaine almost threw it away by accident, Sean threatened to kill her if anything happened to the first love of his life. Franky has already ended up with a black eye for insulting Badger

• He is still a fan of the occult, tarot, gems energy and astrology etc...

• Every time he goes to the movies with Charmaine, he asks her to hide beer cans under her breasts. At first she thought it was absolutely stupid, but eventually Charmaine did it a few times. She never admitted to him that she could hide a bag of weed in her vagina if need be, for obvious reasons

• He hates IQ tests because the only time he took one online, he scored 89 and Charmaine 130

• If he's rich today, it's because he won a game show when he was 30

• Sean suffers from depersonalization/derealization

• He grew his hair to look like the Joker (and subconsciously Laszlo)

• Most of Sean's savings went into expensive jewelry that he bought for his wife to make up for it

• Behind his Ocean's Twelve memorabilia there's a secret room with absolutely everything needed to organize a casino heist : A notebook with personalized costume sketches for each of his friends + 11 extremely extensive custom-made costumes protected in covers, an entire library about robbery and action books, entire handmade maps of New Jersey and more precisely Atlantic City's casinos, an impressive collection of various weapons and safes to practice opening them, twenty years of research for the perfect heist, accumulated in notebooks and plastic sleeves, a notebook with all the formulas on how to make a bomb, and of course, the homemade bomb in the corner of the room, a huge table in the center with a video projector, a cupboard with other figures and goodies from the trilogy, and posters all around the room

• Sean is a kid mentally, and annoying his wife is his favorite pastime, his favorite activity, being upstairs and shouting Charmaine's name, if she answers, he doesn't answer, until she freaks out

• If someone knocks on the toilet while he's occupying it, he shits louder

• At the beach, every time Sean passes by a sand castle, Charmaine is forced to threaten him by whispering "Don't" because she knows that her husband wants to "accidentally" destroy the castle

• If Sean dies at some point, his unfinished business as a ghost is to kiss Laszlo

• He has very long feet, when he goes bowling with Mikey and Franky. They call him "Bozo", which is the nickname he chooses on the screen to play

• Sean suffers from sleep apnea, so he snores like a pig, and for the past few years he's had a CPAP machine

• In his teen, he sympathized with the Jersey Devil, but after the brain scramblies he forgot that he had become close to the creature

• Sean already asked Charmaine to do ASMR videos just to gain money

• He is stronger than Laszlo at chess

• He wrote plenty of Ocean's 11/12 fics on ao3. Charmaine corrects his spelling mistakes, and she's annoyed to see that her husband only writes sex scenes between men, she'd also like to see between women. His excuse : "I don't have a vagina, how the fuck I'm supposed to write the sensations of having one duh-"

• During a manic episode, he bought 6 Roomba to make an army of them

• He knows the Ocean Twelve lines by heart

• If Charmaine and Sean don't judge the clothing style of their neighbors it's because they probably had a goth period in their youth

• He is a reincarnation, just like Jeff/Gregor

• Jenna is the secret love child of the Rinaldi

• Although he and Charmaine have reconciled, they no longer sleep in the same room; because Sean has insomnia and gets up often to go out on the balcony and smoke his cigarette (which awakens Charmaine)

[billdenbrough]

u titling this “andreil cat divorce rom-com college au” is killing me 😭 context plsss

AHA ok so the original context is this:

but the fic is like . ok it's what the title says on the tin, once you have the context of this text as the starting point LOL

the basic vibe is that andrew and neil went on a date once, which actually went Very Well, but andrew said they can't see each other again because his cat thinks neil is weird. so now they text instead. kevin hates it. like. just date.

neil: weren't you listening? his cat thinks i'm weird kevin: i actually hate you

matt, kevin, allison and neil are all roommates. allison and matt walk in on kevin lecturing neil a lot. allison records it sometimes. neil at one point sees andrew talking to jean and is weird about it (jury's out on which one he's intervening about) and is like, "you got the cat in the divorce" to which andrew goes ? "she's literally my cat. also, she instigated the 'divorce'," and neil's like, "exactly! you already cater to one fussy entity. you can't handle jean too" (jean, discovering this later, is very judgemental of neil aligning his existence with that of the divorce-cat).

kevin is also developing an unfortunate (in neil’s eyes) (allison thinks it’s delightful, meaning hilarious for her) crush on andrew’s identical twin, which mostly goes like (vibes-wise, none of this is real dialogue):

Neil: Stop. You’re not allowed

Kevin: ????? this isn’t up to you

Neil: Allison, tell him he has terrible taste

Allison: while this is true (kevin squawks), this does seem to be a pot-kettle situation

Neil: huh??

Allison: they’re identical twins, Neil

Neil: Aaron’s LOOKS aren’t the problem

Kevin: you’re not allowed to develop a crush on him

Neil: do you actually fucking hear yourself

hopefully that provided some context even if it possibly did not clarify all that much HAHA. i remember when this one came into being too (i was walking through the cbd trying to avoid being hit by a bus at the depot), if the vaguely hectic surroundings help explain the [gestures vaguely] vibes on display here. it has a pinboard too actually if u wanna see the vibes but again i am unsure if they are helpful

wip game

[we-were-beautiful]

Love and Shadows

Chapter 1

A/N: Well, I finally decided that I should start helping solve the problem that is the criminal lack of Ruhn Danaan fanfiction on this website. I also eventually want to do some stuff for Hunt and Ithan as well. Overall, there is a lack of Crescent City fanfiction which is sad. So, here's my contribution. This is going to be a series for sure and I did state the reader's hair and eye color but that's something for later down the road. Umm I did do some editing but there are more than likely mistakes in here somewhere so…here we are. NO beta we die like men.

Ruhn Danaan x Reader Summary: Two hearts are called together. A female working for the governor and the crown prince of the Valbaran Fae. brought together by a bad day and a party invitation.

Warnings: Vomiting, drugs and alcohol use, and nonsexual nudity Wordcount: 3.3k

I gently squeezed my eyes closed as the sunlight hit them. The throbbing in my head reminded me that I shouldn’t have drank so much the night before. It wasn’t that I had never woken up hungover before, but this wasn’t my room. And I wasn’t alone in this bed. 

My eyes flew open as the arms around my waist tightened and the person snuggling up next to me nuzzled their face between my shoulders. I glanced around the room, taking in the details of where I stayed the night. The room itself was messy - clothes strewn about the floor and flat surfaces, empty beer bottles on the nightstand. A Sword was placed up against the wall. Various posters and photographs were taped up on the walls. I glanced down to look at the arm wrapped around my waist and quickly noticed two things - the shirt I wore, was not mine, and the arm around my waist was covered in tattoos. 

My eyes slowly went back to the sword propped up against the wall. I knew that sword. All Fae knew that sword. That was the fucking Star Sword. It seemed like my brain finally started to wake up and connect the dots. I was in bed with the Crown Prince. 

12 hours earlier 

It wasn't unusual for Leo, my youngest brother, to text me about a party. However, it was unusual for me to accept his invitation. Work hadn’t been the greatest. Micah wasn’t happy with the 33rd Legion and I ended up playing an assistant and mediator between him, and quite frankly everyone else in the Comitium. I was drained and a party sounded like a good way to unwind.

After I sent off the text saying I would be there the day seemed to drag on and on. The Governor’s mood had thankfully improved as the hours passed and by the time I was reading off his schedule for the next day, he was in a fairly decent mindset. I dropped off the final reports that Isaiah had passed to me, before heading out for the day.

Making my way through the bustling streets of the Central Business District had me thankful that it was the weekend. Unlike the Old Square which was filled with tourists and college students strolling about, most of the people in the CBD had places to go and things to do. There was no one lingering about and stopping to stare at the sights the Central Business District had to offer. My heels clicked along the cobblestone as I made the short walk from the Comitium to my building. I took a moment to stare at the building, one of the largest purchases my brothers and I had ever made. 

We purchased it with the inheritance we acquired when my parents passed away. It got us away from FiRo and our old villa, where they’ve been slaughtered. Bloody walls and rugs didn't exactly make for a homely atmosphere.

The doorman opened the door for me as I walked up. The cool air hit me with full force, a stark contrast to the heat of the Lunathion summer. A quick wave to the receptionist and I hurried over to the elevator. Once in, I had to send a quick text to Leon.

“Is Mikhail coming tonight?” 

I wanted to check if I should pick up our eldest brother before we leave.

 “Nope. He’s hanging out with that angel of his.” 

Ah yes, Mikhail's mysterious boyfriend whom Leon and I had yet to meet. I planned a dinner tomorrow with the two of them, a quiet meet and greet in my home before unleashing Leon upon Mikhail’s poor boyfriend..

“Alrighty then. Text me the address so I know where I am heading. Also what time is this little gathering happening?” 

I moved all of my things to one arm as I went to undo the locks and magical wards to the condo. 

Once inside, I dropped my bag to the floor and kicked off the heels that I had worn to work. The natural light that filled the room made for a homely atmosphere. Though the view that extended from the windows is what I fought my brothers for. 

I beelined to the balcony. The Angel gate stood there proudly, light catching and reflecting prisms off the quartz. I leaned on the railing, taking in the streets of the CBD for a moment before padding back inside. 

Sometimes the large condo felt empty and big. 

Mikhail had his boyfriend and Leon was still in the process of wooing his mates. And I was married to my work. The long days pared with odd working hours put most potential romantic partners off. That’s not to mention the people I associated with. It's hard to find a date when you work directly with the Governor and the Triarii.

I had to eat something before I went out. Alcohol on an empty stomach was never a good idea. 

. 

My phone buzzed with a message from Leon.

“Place X, at XX hour.”

“👍”

Turning on some music I hopped in the shower. Hot water ran down my back and soothed my tense muscles. 

For the outfit, I settled on skin-tight black jeans, paired with heels and a vintage band t-shirt. Cute but nothing fancy. Knowing Leon and his buddies, if I wore anything more I would be overdressed. 

2 hours later

I found myself walking through the streets of the Old Square. The click of my heels was barely audible over the chaos of the district. Residents, tourists and college students were seen around the center of the city, already starting their weekend activities. I let out a sigh as I continued my way through the streets. I was glad I didn't waste any money on a taxi, since the traffic was pretty much at a standstill. The time during which I covered the distance to the destination address took as much as a cab ride.

The house in front of me was slightly run down, but nobody seemed to care as the party was in full swing. Loud music could be heard through the closed door.

I braced myself for the oncoming assault on my sensitive ears. I quickly send Leon a text telling him that I am here before approaching the door. 

After knocking upon the door in front of me, I was met with a tall,  red-headed fae.

“Welcome…Um…Do I know you?”

The male struggles to focus his vision on the female in front of him. He was trying very hard to keep his vision on me, but his level of intoxication was far beyond any focus.

“Leon invited me. I’m his older sister.” I pulled out my phone and the initial invite from Leon. 

“Ohhh… You're the famous big sister.” His eyes widened just a fraction. “Come on in. We got some beer in the fridge.”

“Thanks” I responded walking into the house. The smell of booze and mirth-root was nearly overwhelming upon entering.

The gathering was relatively small, comprising approximately 15 Fae and shifters casually mingling in what appeared to be a living room, adjoined by another space housing a beer pong table.

“I’m Dec.” The redhead introduced himself. 

“Y/N” I held out my hand for him to shake. He gave it a firm shake before letting go “Do you know where Leon is?”

“Last time I looked, he was in the kitchen.” He gestured in a direction, indicating what I presumed to be the kitchen. “Feel free to help yourself to any of the beverages.” He patted me on the shoulder before wandering off and leaving me alone.

I took a quick sweep of the room. My eyes landed on my brother's tall form. 

Leon Rosewood, while not the tallest Fae male here, still stood out in the crowd with his bright blue hair. He had dyed it in an act of rebellion when our parents were still alive, but after their deaths, he kept it for their memory.  And there he was leaning against the kitchen counter, a beer dangling out of his hand speaking to a preppy-looking brunette Fae male. 

Leon threw his head back in laughter at the male's comment.

“Leon!” I called out walking over to the two.

“Y/N” he turned to face me, wrapping me in a tight hug. “Glad you could finally make it.” “It’s a Friday night! The Old Square was packed with tourists and CCU students. It was a nightmare and I wasn’t about to sit in a cab in stand-still traffic.”

“Who's your friend Leo?” Leon’s companion asked.

“Ahh, Flynn this is my older sister Y/n. Y/N this is Tristan Flynn, one of the hosts.” Leon clapped the other male on the shoulder.

“It's a damn shame your brother has been keeping you hidden.” Flynn held his hand out. “He couldn’t keep me hidden, even if he tried!” I laughed and shook his hand. “I just have a rather unpredictable work schedule.” “You work over with the 33rd Legion, right? I think Leo mentioned it a while back.”  Flynn handed me a beer from the fridge which I happily accepted. “Technically, I am a part of the Triarii, but not in a combat position anymore. I work directly with the Governor now.” I had never really liked explaining my role to others. While I mostly acted as a secretary, I had at one point been in the combat position and could reenter the role if necessary. I didn’t particularly like to think about it, so I just smiled and waved it off. “Are those angels really as stuck up as they seem to be? Cause man, Isaiah Tiberian seems to have a massive stick up his ass.” Flynn asked. Leon snorted at his friend's question. “I mean most of the time, they aren’t.” I fought off the grimace that was beginning to show on my face. Isaiah was a close friend of mine and he was closed off for a reason. Who wouldn’t be after going through what he did? As a slave he had no real rights and when the master commands, a slave merely follows.

After leaving the public view, many tended to become more at ease. When we gathered in the barracks, the atmosphere was laid-back, with ongoing games and almost constant access to alcohol.

“Don’t y'all have a weekly dinner at your place Y/N?” Leon asked. 

“Yeah, we do. Typically Isaiah and I leave the Comitium early and cook up a nice meal for our little rag-tag Triarii group. Also, you do realize, you’ve been invited to all of them Leo. And you didn’t show up to any of them! Even Mikhail typically joins in.” 

I raised a brow at my brother. No, Leo was too busy partying, to remember that his mates were on a completely different continent. And only one of them even cares to talk to him, even if it's rare that she does.  “No shit! You all have family dinner together?” Flynn laughed “ I would have never thought they would be so domestic.”

I laughed at this. No, most people wouldn’t have realized how close the 4 of us were. They had taken me under their wings, some of them quite literally, after I had made the drop and joined the 33rd. We were our own little fucked up family even if no one saw us as such.  

While talking with my brother and Flynn I failed to notice the two males approaching us. I grabbed another beer and listened as Flynn started telling a wild story about a patrol he and my brother had been on last year when my eyes caught sight of him. 

Ruhn Danaan, Crown Prince of the Valbaran Fae. He was even more handsome in person. I had never had the pleasure of meeting him before, but now as he was in front of me I could admire him from up close.

Tall, well built with colourful tattoo sleeves. He stood out brightly against his dark outfit. The tight black shirt seemed to cling to his muscled chest. Long black hair flowed down to his waist, one side shaved down to the scalp. It had been no secret that I found Ruhn attractive. I had been teased about it by Naomi a few months ago. If only she could see me now. She would be a menace teasing the Hel out of me. “Flynn, Leo, who's your pretty friend?” His voice was like night, although slightly slurred by the alcohol intake. Ah, so the Prince was drunk. That should be interesting.

I could feel his eyes on me. I was torn between wanting to shy away and meeting his stare. Out of the corner of my vision, I could see Dec move behind the Prince to stand by my brother and new friend. I took a breath before meeting Danaan’s gaze. 

When violet met blue the world snapped into place. A gold bond solidified between the two of us.

A mating bond to be exact. Something most Fae spend their whole lives looking for. My heart starts to race in my chest. Never in my life have I thought I would be one of the few blessed with a bond.

I wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. I felt like I was cemented to the ground. Ruhn looked equally as shocked. The others looked at the two of us, confusion visible on their faces. “Y/N what’s…” Leon starts but is interrupted by Ruhn.  

“Mate.” His eyes widened and his face turned green. In a disgustingly wonderful combination of shock, alcohol and mirth-root Rhun emptied the contents of his stomach on me and Leon. Vomit covered my clothes and clung to his hair. I couldn’t hide the grimace. While not the worst thing that I have had the pleasure to be covered in, it was still gross. 

Declan and Flynn looked between the two of us, clearly in shock. “Uh, Flynn? Could you help?” I asked. He nodded and motioned towards the stairs.

“Ok let's go get you cleaned up.” I gently led the Prince upstairs, slowly trudging after Flynn.

Once inside the bathroom, I gently sat the drunken Prince to sit on the toilet. I looked at him over and let out a sigh.

“Alright. Both of us need a shower and I am not going home covered in vomit and booze. But I’m not sure you are in any condition to be around water by yourself. So, don’t even try to twist this into something it’s not. This is not a sexy shower. I don’t care if you and I are mates.” 

I laid out the ground rules as I gently tugged his shirt off. A knock on the door pulled my attention away from the Prince as he started to unbuckle his belt. I moved and gently cracked open the door to find Flynn with a pile of clothes. “Once you get your clothes off, just place them outside. I will get them in the washer.” He handed me the pile.

“Thanks, Flynn.” Turning around I found Ruhn completely nude. I fought with a blush creeping upon my cheeks.

This wasn’t the first male I had seen naked, but something about the whole situation had me blushing like a Saint. I made quick work of my clothes before gathering up the soiled material and setting them just outside the door. 

It took me a minute to adjust the water temperature to something that wasn’t cold or scalding hot. “You are stunning.” Ruhn complemented, as I gently guided him into the shower. “And you are drunk.” I stepped in after him. He leaned on me throughout the shower but kept his hands to himself. At some point, I could feel his gaze lingering on some of my scars, but I paid it no mind. It was only when I started washing his hair, he moved to touch me. His arms wrapped around my waist as he rested his forehead against my shoulder.

“We are going to have to get a story together. That way if we ever end up having kids we won’t have to tell them that their dad puked on their mom when we met.” I laughed. His arms slightly tightened around me, before he mumbled something against my shoulder. He was leaning on me more and more. 

“Let me finish washing myself, then we can get you into bed.” 

After some coaxing, he let go of me. It didn’t take too much effort to get him dressed in one of the two pairs of boxers that Flynn had brought. I quickly pulled on the other pair and tugged the large black shirt over my head. The scent of cedar and cypress enveloped me. It was Ruhn’s scent. It felt comforting and safe. In a split second, I decided, he was not getting this shirt back. I glanced over at the Prince brushing through his hair. He now fancied a smug grin on his face.

“Don’t look so smug. The only reason I am in your clothes right now is because you threw up on me.”

I playfully scolded, taking the brush, once he had finished. I combed through my hair, untangling the knots. Ruhn walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around me again, pulling me into his firm chest. “OK, time to get you to bed.”  I had to coax the Prince to let go of me so that I could lead him out of the restroom. The party was still in full swing downstairs, music thumping and pounding in my ears. Ruhn wandered towards one of the closed doors upstairs, opening it and pulling me in. I led him towards the bed not caring to take in my surroundings as Ruhn flopped onto the mattress. I moved to head towards the door so that I could return to the restroom to call a cab when a hand grabbed my wrist.

“Stay.” For the first time all night, his voice was clear. Bright blue eyes bored into mine. A silent plea for me to stay. “Fine, but only until my clothes are clean.” This was all he needed to pull me into the bed with him. “We are not going to fool around Ruhn.” I scolded him. 

“Ok.” He responded sleepily. He hugged me, wrapping around my body, effectively trapping me within the confines of his arms.

In the end, I was not sure if the exhaustion I felt was my own or Ruhn’s coming through the bond, but I promised myself I was just going to shut my eyes for a few minutes and then call a cab. 

My eyes slowly started to feel heavier and I couldn’t stop from blinking rapidly to keep myself awake for just a little longer. Eventually, I was lulled to sleep by the steady beating of my mate’s heart.   

[blackbloodteeth]

After their partnership starts to deepen into something more, Soul only fears his curse spreading to Maka and decides to cut himself off, never to be seen again.

But when they happen to meet years later by pure chance – because the world always has other plans – will he allow himself to selfishly reconnect, or will he let the one thing he's loved most slip through his fingers for good?

Post-canon-centric AU. Medusa may have failed to resurrect Asura, and Soul was never "cured" of his Black Blood. Therefore he never grew past his core insecurities as time passed, and eventually he drops out of DWMA and returns home (may be 18 by this point).

The first year was the worst. The second year he became numb, and by the third year he openly received help and decided to actually take care of himself. May not have gone to therapy as he is reluctant to actually talk about the Black Blood to anyone, but he goes to some form of counselling, and gets into yoga and meditation. In the earlier years of his time home he suffered from nightmares the most, and took THC/CBD to help with his insomnia. Little Oni would often talk to him when he was alone, as deep down Soul craved the same level of socialization he had back in Nevada even if he wanted to shut Oni out, but after a while the Black Room door stayed mostly closed as Soul never budged on not being persuaded to make any deals.

Soul couldn't get back into playing piano due to the stress of still being haunted by his curse. Since his parents wanted him to go to college, he still ends up majoring for something music adjacent (like being a sound engineer, which was largely his brother's idea), and after enough time he forms casual friendships with other classmates, just being Soul Evans again.

The story itself starts a little bit before Maka shows up. This gives some time to show his everyday routine and how he believes he's over it now, up until he happens to meet her again when she is for some reason in town (could be for something as simple as a rescheduled flight that leaves her stranded for a couple days). Even just seeing her he realizes that he is in fact not over it, and it's described as feeling like someone "personally started to rip the stitches across his chest wide open" and that his heart "is like a broken record, skipping repeatedly and unable to break away from the needle."

Her catching up with him is unavoidable, and the two spend time dancing around each other as Soul struggles internally with wanting to reconnect with her, as the premise states. This eventually leads to a climatic scene where Maka assumes he really does want nothing to do with her anymore, and when it's time for her to leave she tells him goodbye while in an elevator. Soul initially turns to leave but after it all hits him at once that he doesn't want things to end this way, he tries to tell her this as the elevator door closes, bringing him to run through the stairs to catch up to her and spill out an apology for his mistakes, and how much he's actually missed her. She barrels in to hug him because she hasn't ever really recovered from it either, and the two decide to spend some more time to actually get to know each other again. During this end part of the scene, the two start to feel each other's soul wavelengths again.

At this point the hurt is raw and fresh all over again, and Maka telling him how she's been without him is like having salt rubbed in the wound, however now it can be allowed to heal. This is when they're at their most tender and exposed, and it's not quite starting from scratch, but letting things grow again even if not exactly the same as before.

Soul actually lets her wield him again. It's not quite the same connection they had before and he has a little more weight to his scythe form, but he's surprised that in the same vein turning into a scythe doesn't feel that different even though he hasn't done it in years. Their wavelengths still aren't fully connecting as Soul is still reliving his fears relating to his curse, however he starts to want to not be so afraid of himself anymore. This is where he regains his trust in both himself, and her, and that the Black Blood doesn't have as much control over him as it had once convinced him. Maka can finally start to forgive herself for the blame she put on herself for him leaving, and work past everything she's buried too.

Ending might be a little more open-ended on whether he decides to pursue finishing becoming a death scythe, however there's a sense of hope as the two have gotten back together again, and their feelings for each other are finally regrowing from the ashes. Maybe they do a smooch, I dunno.

Story POV is mainly Soul's, as he can't truly know what Maka is thinking (especially about him), leaning into his uncertainty and self-projection that he assumes she will never forgive him. Maka's POV is added after they hug it out, filling in the gaps of how she actually has been feeling over the past couple days and showing that they are reconnecting. Soul's nightmares are a reoccurrence throughout the story, which shifts to his rekindled fears of losing Maka as she re-enters his life. By the end, while he isn't fully cured of Black Blood and his nightmares, they're not as bad as they were previously.

[french-toast-enjoyer]

Black and White— WIP— venom x Eddie fic!

this is a fluffy lil tribute to my venom post about the v and e running away and eloping. hopefully more to come. enjoy!

Eddie was never one for receiving overly sentimental displays. So this plan had been perfect for him. For them.

The neon lights of Reno's own Little White Chapel drowned out the dark of the night, along with all the other lights of the strip. a CBD shop, a videostore, and some branded novelty storefront he'd barely seen out of the corner of their eyes. Seedy and campy as anything that the two lovers touched.

Venom had suggested Vegas, but Eddie was sure as hell not able to swing that on freelance wages, not to mention he hated Vegas. He could go on about his quiet disdain for the disposable everything of sin city, but with Venom wrapped around his fingers, he could only really think about the snap decision they'd made.

Let's get hitched.

It wasn't even clear which of them had pitched the idea. Suppose it'd come from somewhere deep within their bond.

They were passing through on business. Going from state to state, handing out justice as a lethal protector should.

But the mounting time together and the lights and the nightlife and the utter romance of running away through the states hadn't been lost on either of them. Especially in the months after Carnage.

That night, in the church.

They'd bonded, It was beautiful, sure, but tied inextricably to some great violent mess. Their only witnesses being Anne, Dan, and a pre-posthumous Cletus Kasady. It was perfectly them, but not quite what Eddie wanted to call their wedding day. Hell, they hadn't even fucked that night.

Venom smirked at the thought, adjusting Eddie's tie as they looked back to the chapel.

Here they were, signing into the little white guest book. Intimidating the shit out of the clerk as Venom stood fully on display beside Eddie. 7'6" and using their own mass to form a sleek black suit.

It was perfect in its own way.

"You got your vows ready?" Eddie teased, and the symbiote nodded, showing off a bar napkin covered in chicken scratch handwriting. That was his Venom. His partner. the two sat anxiously in a pew, waiting for their turn as an impulsive couple went ahead of them. Two college kids giggling and holding hands and talking about dropping the news on their friends.

It occurred to Eddie briefly that he might be a bit old for something like this, but the thought again dissipated when looking back at Venom. A perfect entity, cocking their head at the thought of an David Bowie impersonator officiating a wedding.

"Thought he was dead?" The symbiote asked, blunt as ever.

"He is. this is just a priest dressed as him."

"Why?"

"Cause we couldn't afford Elvis"

"Not funny."

Eddie laughed a bit at that.

"I dunno man, it's the novelty! Most people have their wedding officiated by some boring religious official. Even at places like this. Some people just want something spontaneous."

"Like us." Venom said, the word us uttered in a smile.

"Like us." Eddie repeats affectionately.

[mallowmaenad]

me [billionaire]: *yawns* Good morning Deb, what day is it?

my live-in maid who is paid extra to dress and act like my college roommate: July 20th, 203- err. 2003. Your OK soda, m'lady.

me: bitchin'. *I crack open the recreation of the discontinued soda and savor the hiss, I look outside my window where two translucent stickers of the twin towers are, overlaid where my commisoned reconstruction of the original buildings will be.* What's on the docket today?

My maid: You have a shift at the combination pizza hut and taco bell from 4pm to 6pm today.

Me: *I sip the soda* Hm. Cancel it. I'm gonna play Kingdom Hearts on my playstation.

My maid: Your orange gamecube should be arriving in the mail today, and um- capcom is releasing a new game today.

Me: *Smirking* Oh, yeah? What is it?

My maid: Resident evil 4.

Me: Huh. sounds cool, might check that one out. [I walk into my living room with a massive collection of DVDs and VHS tapes, sitting down on the couch I had pre-soaked in cbd oil and salt water to give the impression that it's heavily used by a group of friends that smoke weed together, I have no friends. Except for Deb. I turn on my pre-programmed smart tv which plays a rotating list of playlists featuring programming aired on MTV, adult swim, cartoon network and nick @ nite circa 1998-2005]

Deb: What will it be for breakfast, ma'am?

Me: *sigh* I dunno. how about a breakfast california crunchwrap from taco bell?

Deb: A-a what...?

Me, grinning wide, she's finally starting to grow wise to my little tests: Haha i dunno just sayin shit. [I text my accountant from my blackberry to add another 5k to her paycheck this week] Hey, how about we see what pizza places are open this early and toke up?

Deb, hesitating as she tries to not give into her growing cravings for the marjuana she's been smoking to keep up her character, even if it cracks the facade she feels like she has something to prove: U-uh... I think I need a break from that stuff m-mi- girl... I got a killer headache last time.

Me, silently laughing as I can nearly hear the saliva stirring in her mouth: Alright, suit yourself I guess.

Deb: [leaves the room to break character and call one of my assistance to deliver me "the yuge" (large anchovy with extra cheese, medium pepperoni and mushroom, large spinach alfredo well done with light sauce, an order of bread sticks with garlic butter and "accidentally" giving me someone else's order in multiple random arrangements of pizza, appetizers and soda) in period appropriate containers while dressed as a pizza delivery guy]

Me: [Looking at the unlit pre-roll in my hands, weed has been legal in this state for several years now, I contemplate how to regain that edge, that dim spark of anxiety over doing something illegal. Even if it still was I know my wealth would protect me. I briefly recall how the president had a safe full of whiskey during the prohibition. I lick my lips like a hungry jaguar as an idea comes to mind.] Deb?!

Deb: [Hiding a smartphone behind her back] Yeah?

Me: Who's president right now?

Deb: Um... uh...

Me: Are ya sweatin'? They ask these questions to stroke victims y'know. Are you... having a stroke? Deb? Debby? Debby-girl? Debra? How many fingers am I holding up right now?

Deb: *gulps* Uh... Al Gore.

Me, smiling wickedly as I light my joint, it's funny how the design of a bic lighter has never really noticeably changed over the years: Man this stuff must be fucking with our heads, huh?

Sandra Jackson, my live-in maid whom I call Deb: Hahah, yeah.

[dread-and-despair-dyke]

i love cbd and alcohol... together even . maybe ill achieve some inner peace like this

tho tbh i miss yesterday night when i was just chilling... the rice and green curry i had for dinner was rly nice

also somth bothering me rn is that i need to arrange for tutoring and driving lessons and maybe volunteering and def college application for next sept. but i dont wanna 🤩

and also that ive been sleeping a lot again... i fall asleep at midnight or 1am or whenever and sleep until 10.30 or somth. thats too longgg

i just dont have anything to be awake for anymore but i dont like that im letting hours of my life pass me by... but its not like id be enjoying being awake in them anyway... confusing

[pig-lota]

@tr4shbo4t

Here's a photo of my bong after ~3 bowls bring smoked a day on average between me and my friends. I hadn't cleaned the bowl in a while but for reference it got to that level and I cleaned it back to as clear as the bong at least a good 50 times during my usage of this bong before this photo (I clean the bong more often then the piece)

(I took this photo of it right after I cleaned it for a college course where I analyzed used bong water in a nuclear magnetic resonance spectrometer in case you're curious, I was able to show that the different chambers actually removed different contaminants and no noticable THC or CBD!)