#CASSIE CARES. AND MARCO DOES TOO EVEN THOUGH HES A SHIT ABOUT IT

[pissfizz]

Guys I’m a little insane about this scifi childrens book series from the 90s

[rotationalsymmetry]

Animorphs/Discworld/ATLA who things what about which.

Ok. I already did how the Animorphs feel about the Discworld books. (Caveat it's been a while since I've read most of the Discworld books and I haven't actually finished Animorphs.) So, how the Animorphs would feel about ATLA if that was on TV while the books were happening or when they were a bit younger.

First thing that jumps out at me is Aang's pacifism, which presumably Cassie would vibe with, but which the others might have very little patience with. Perhaps especially Marco. These people killed his entire people! How can Aang care about the life of Firelord, the grandson of the person who was responsible for his people's genocide, unless he doesn't value their lives?

I think probably all of them would love the elemental combat magic, I mean, who wouldn't like that sort of thing?

I just said (prev post) that Rachel would love Karara, but on second thought I think she'd REALLY love Toph. Life goals. Toph doesn't care what anyone thinks and she can beat guys twice her height. And she's capable of following social rules but won't do it when she doesn't want to. Epic. 10/10 would go on a crime spree with.

On the subject of Cassie liking that everyone in the Discworld books is a person, well, so is everyone in ATLA. Even scenery characters with one or two lines. The show's especially careful to humanize people in the Fire Nation -- members of the royal family, ordinary soldiers, civilians -- and she'd love that. And you know she's watched Appa's Lost Days over. And over. And over. If Cassie got to be a bender she'd want to be an airbender. And of course she's a huge fan of Zuko's redemption arc. People can change!

Marco doesn't like the show. I hate to say it but it's true. Because it makes it too hard to not think about his mom. I mean. He kind of likes it. But it also gives him lots of feels and he's not going to TALK about it ok? He certainly doesn't want anyone else to think about his mom and maybe feel sorry for him. He also thinks Toph is Life Goals.

Ax's favorite episode is the northern air temple one. He's fascinated at the idea of humans flying. Imagine, humans flying! They can barely even jump!

Ax also sympathizes with Sokka on the "supposed to be a warrior but was left behind when the fighting happened" front. He's glad Sokka eventually gets one of those hand held substitute tail blades humans use. Probably thinks the human Animorphs should get some of those too, just in case they ever have to fight out of morph. (He also sympathizes with Zuko about being a long way from home and maybe never going to get to go back. He's not going to talk about that though, much like Marco isn't going to talk about missing his mother.)

Tobias also likes the northern air temple episode, for some reason. He ships Aang and Katara. He wants to be like Sokka. He'd be an airbender because airbending is the coolest bending. And because of flying. He likes the great divide episode because there's a park ranger. I'm not sure what his opinions on the messenger hawks are, but I'm sure they're very strong opinions.

Jake. Hmm, Jake. Jake likes Azula. I mean, she's a villain, so it's not like he thinks she's a good person -- and a lot of what he's picking up from her on the how to be a leader front is how NOT to do things -- but she's a good character. And, well, sometimes he needs to think about someone who understands how much pressure he's under. Azula understands that. (Sokka understands that too, and he does pick up some "how to be a leader when your group only kinda sorta does leaders" from him. Jake is super different from Sokka though. Sokka is a planner. Jake is an improviser. His plans tend to suck, but when they fall through he can pivot ok.) (ah shit now I also have to do Leverage.)

[lorenfangor]

Elfangor/Loren fic prompt (no need to go Full Universe, a snippet is fine!): Tobias & the kids are sent back to 1983 via Sario Rip just long enough for him to meet his parents.

you asked for a snippet, a snippet is what you're getting, lol

"This mall is totally screwy," Rachel said, sitting back down beside Tobias and glancing around the food court. "There's a Chess King, and a Contempo Casuals?"

"Yeah, so what?" Marco asked, putting both his elbows on the table. "What does that tell us?"

"It tells us that we're back in time," Rachel said. "Seriously back in time, you know?"

"I mean, I think the Cretaceous, or the Battle of Agincourt, probably counts as 'seriously' back in time," Jake said. "What's the big deal about the stores, anyway?"

"It means it's the 80s," Cassie said unexpectedly, and everyone looked at her, surprised. "What?"

"How do you know what year it is?" Jake asked at the same time that Rachel said "Obviously it's the 80s."

"There's a Software Etc.?" Cassie said, jerking a thumb over her shoulder. "They got rid of those in '94, didn't they?"

"And there's an Orange Julius," Tobias said. "I thought those were only through Dairy Queen."

"What is an Orange Julius?" Ax asked. "Is it edible?"

"Yeah, if you really like OJ," Marco told him. "Okay, so it's the 80s. What does that mean for us?"

"It means we've gotta be careful," Jake said, bringing his voice down. "Really careful. Like, is this still our mall, the one in town?"

"Yeah," Rachel said. "The layout is the same even though the stores are different, and the food court tables are the same too, look."

"I don't know what that says about our food court," Marco cut in, eyeing the formica dubiously, "but I don't like it."

"Oh, come on, it's obviously been cleaned," Rachel said. "I mean. I think it has."

All eyes turned to the tabletop. Silence reigned, all six of them staring at the table, until finally Cassie shook her head with a sound of disgust.

"This is disgusting," she said. "You're all being disgusting. I'm gonna be thinking about this forever, thank you Marco."

"A pleasure to be of service to you," he quipped, grinning. "I think we should - !"

"Shut up," Jake said, waving his hand suddenly, cutting off the chatter. "Everybody, shut up, and listen."

"What?" Marco asked. "Somebody asking why there's a bunch of barefoot kids running around in bike shorts?"

The glare Jake sent him made him shut up, and the six of them clustered together, glancing over their shoulders.

"Okay, so what's so special about color graphics?" an unfamiliar voice asked. "It's not like you need color to do things like code, or type, or even play games."

Tobias turned around in his seat, zeroing in on the source of the sound. A woman, maybe twenty years old, was sitting a few tables over from them. She had long blonde hair that waved in the way he knew meant hours of careful hairspray and curling iron offensive maneuvers, and she was wearing a loose-fitting T-shirt tucked into peg-rolled jeans that were a shade of blue he knew Rachel was going to hate. It was her voice they'd heard.

Across from her, shoving mozzarella sticks into his mouth as fast as Ax would usually eat a cinnamon bun, was a tall, sandy-haired man who even Tobias had to admit was almost too handsome, rugged and chiseled in that underwear-model way that kind of crossed the line back into beautiful. He swallowed at least two of them at once and answered her.

"What's special is that colorized computer displays are over a thousand years old," he said, leaning forward and taking her hands. "And I'm tired of dealing with obsolete equipment. I already have to pretend like I care about the latest updates from IBM at work, why should I have an Apple II that runs slower than molasses?"

"I don't know," the woman answered, leaning forward to match him, grinning at him. "Maybe I like it when you curse at circuit boards." She slid one of her hands out of his, reached up, and dabbed at something on his chin. "You had marinara sauce on your face."

Something sparked between them when they smiled at each other, something electric that ran through the air. It half-escaped Tobias, but somehow what little he did catch pushed him to put his arm around Rachel while he watched.

"Color graphics are over a thousand years old?" Marco stage-whispered, looking from Ax to Jake to Ax again. "What the hell?"

The man dipped his head down, quicker than lighting, and licked up the sauce from the woman's finger. She burst into a shriek of laughter, almost pulling away from him, but he grabbed her wrist with his other hand and levered his weight onto his elbows, leaning in to kiss her.

<Stop teasing me,> he said, without using words, and Tobias thought his heart was going to hammer itself out of his ribcage. Everyone else was flinching, staring at each other across the table, open-mouthed and wide-eyed; he slumped down out of his chair onto the floor, cracking his head against the linoleum.

He knew that voice.

"Tobias?" Rachel cried as the chair slid back with a screech. "Are you okay?"

He ignored her and rolled onto his stomach, crawling out between the metal legs of the chair, staggering up to his feet and lurching across the food court to the pair of seemingly-human lovers.

"You..." he began, staring at the woman and the man as they jerked apart and looked up at him, fully aware of the fact that he sounded like a crazy person. "You're - you're Alan Fangor, aren't you?"

"... yeah...?" the man said, sounding guarded. There was something in his eyes that spoke of sharp edges.

"I - fuck, shit, fucking hell - I know you," Tobias said. He was hanging on to the edge of the table like his life depended on it, and his eyes were so full of tears already that everything was a brightly colored blur.

"Alan," the woman - mother, he realized, my fucking mother - said carefully, "we should go."

"No!" Tobias answered, shaking his head. "No, please, I just - !" He sucked in air, sinking to his knees, half-certain this was some kind of trap and he was seconds away from death, or else that he'd never left that damnable room with Taylor and her torture device. He shook his head, trying to look up at what he thought was probably his father. Whatever happens, if we snap back, if this is some Time Matrix bullshit, if this is the Ellimist - just let me say this, just let me hear them -

"Elfangor," he said, dropping his voice to a near-whisper. "Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul." His voice lilted as he spoke; Aximili had taught him the counterintuitive pronuciation as it was said aloud. "I know you." He blinked, and for a moment the tears were clear, and he was staring at his father's human face.

"I'm your son," he said. "From - from the future. 1998. I'm your fucking kid."

[internalsealpanic]

Fabulous Friday Evenings

Summary: You were having a really bad day.  Conner decides to help cheer you up and make sure your drunk ass doesn’t face plant on the side walk.

masterlist 

word count:  2,652

a/n: Special thanks to @anothertimdrakestan for helping with the ending and helping with editing! Love you, Elle!

warnings: alcohol and swearing and author does not know how alcohol works.  No one is under the drinking age. This may benefit from more editing. 

"Mosht people are jusht the careful scaffolding of complexshesh," you slurred, your face red, head half buried in your arms, and golden ear cuffs winking under the dim bar lights.

"You somehow still sound like a fucking nerd even you're when drunk," Conner laughed throwing his head back, handsome face stretched with a cheeky smile.  "You look like a mess," he said softly, reaching out for your cheek.

"Fuhk you! Not eberyone can be born too pretty for their own guhd- how did yah evehn know I was here? It was Tim wasn't it! "

"Good guess buuuut it was actually Bart" Conner explained casually taking a seat next to you as you lifted your head momentarily before plopping it back down to stare at the amber gloss of the drink. The light from the ceiling seemed to dance so elegantly in your eyes even as you wrinkled your brows. "That rat," you cursed miserably into your arm. 

Across from you, a pretty brunette shot you two a wink and without looking you could tell Conner flirted in kind. Normally, you'd have the audacity to steal the girl's attention away before Conner could even make a proper move but tonight you were in absolutely no mood to be charming. In fact, you were sloshed. You didn't know whether it was the fourth or fifth drink that did it but there you were sitting next to one of the most attractive people he knew with your makeup smeared and  eyes still swollen and puffy. You kind of just want a portal to open up and swallow you.

 The brunette made a motion to her friends which indicated that she was gonna try her luck and you wished her the best of luck. You bit your soft lips before pressing them into a pout. It took everything in Conner not to kiss you on the spot. Be the responsible one they said. It would be fun, they said. 

"We should go. You're-"

"Have fun," you said, patting him on the shoulder, cutting him off curtly; placing some cash on the bar before leaving. The buxom brunette approached Conner placing a hand on the shoulder you’d just touched moments before. He didn’t seem to notice her, his mind still lingering on the warmth of your hand.  Before she can say anything, he pivots and runs towards you .

The casual slump in your shoulders in place of your usual elegance was a pretty good indication that you would probably fall in a gutter before you got home. Conner highly doubted  you could see straight. 

"I can’t believe Roz let you get this sloshed without checking on you," He joked bringing one of your arms over his shoulder and slinging his own arm around you for balance. You walked like a newborn horse. It was incredibly embarrassing and you wanted to die. Conner, on the other hand, just found it incredibly hilarious.

 "She's out getting into her own brand of sloshed at a bachelorette party,"

"Huh. Didn't know she was the wedding type. Thought she hated going to those,"

"She's the stripper," You deadpanned, sounding abnormally sober.  With that Conner let out a genuinely hearty laugh. You would trade all the martinis, dackories, and margaritas in the world just to get drunk on that laugh. 

"That reminds me," Conner drawled, adjusting his hold feeling just how shaky you were from the late October Metropolis weather pressing you closer to his warm body. You kind of wanted to melt into his side but you had too much pride. "Bart never said why you were out here getting shit faced," You frowned at him but couldn't really muster any sharpness into your expression.

 There were lots of reasons to get 'shit faced' even in shiny Metropolis. You twitched your nose and mouth side to side gathering the makings of a sentence. Where do you even start? Your little sister got suspended, your mother (who somehow found out you were in Metropolis) is either demanding money or for you to drop everything to go back home to help around the house (translation: help out with the bills while babysitting your siblings), Bats and some other league members were on your ass for the last mission (probably the only thing on this list you found reasonable),  this morning, you got fired from your library job so they could hire Marco's girlfriend (who is in fact a perfectly nice person which means you can't really hate her), or the dozens of little annoyances such as Bart not being able to keep his trap shut. 

"This week was just a little much," 

A long moment of silence passes between you. Uncharacteristic for Conner but it was cute that he thought silence would make you fess up. 

"You know I could have gone home on my own. That brunette looked like she was up for a good time," 

"Yeah right. Also you're welcome." 

"You're right. Thank you for getting blue balled this fine evening to escort me" you didn't want to be prickly but Conner was being too nice and that made your skin crawl. Why couldn’t he be mean to you right now like a normal person? 

"First off, she wasn't even my type-" You raised a brow. 

"Kon, her tits were the size of Jupiter-" 

"Did you really  just say 'tits'?" 

You threw him a scowl clearly sobering up from irritation.

"Shut up. Point iiiis, you didn't have to-"

"You just said-"

"Oh for the love of- yes, I said tits. Speaking of which you should be staring at some instead of having to lug my sorry ass around on this fabulous Friday evening."  Your hand fluttering, gesturing vaguely in the air.

"Eh. There'll be other Fridays" Kon shrugged.  Pulling you closer and some selfish part of you felt relieved. 

----------

Much to your surprise (you really ought not to be), Roz wasn't home yet which meant you had to dig out the keys from the secret hiding spot- another hassle. You reached out peeling a hilariously well concealed hole in the wall and fished out the set of jingling keys. Conner looked like he was between amusement and bewilderment. Good enough.  At least, this stopped Conner's 30 minute TED Talk about the new 70s sitcom he'd found. 

You two entered the shoe box apartment clumsily thanks to your disastrous limbs. 

You blew out a breath and muttered a thanks as Conner helped you plop onto the couch.  Though, it was more like gravity decided to magnetize your body to the couch and Conner just let it happen. 

You shut his eyes for a moment wrapping a ragged blanket around you. You made a mental note to raid the thrift store for a new one. Preferably one void of holes. 

"So what's up and don't you dare say it was nothing. I've never seen you this hammered before," He said handing you a mug of steaming hot chocolate. 

"Does it occur to you that I might get hammered like this often and you might just not see it? Who knows maybe I'm actually a functional alcoholic?" 

"Ok, first off, you are barely functional. Second, that might be your weakest deflection yet.  Try again," 

"Ok... did it occur-" 

"I didn't mean it lite- just tell me what happened. Everyone's worried," 

You stared at the steam rising from the fresh cup of cocoa. It was none of Conner's business. It was no one’s business.  Your friends were too goddamn nice. Blowing out another breath, you said "You might wanna sit down too," 

Conner takes his own mug of hot cocoa and sits next to you because for some reason eye contact made you a better liar and Conner for all his dumb decisions wasn't gonna let  you off the hook that easily.  You shifted uncomfortably and muttered about either Cassie or Roz ratting you out. He assumed it was the eye contact thing. Conner felt a little offended. He might not be Tim but he’s smart enough to figure it out on his own. Despite his hurt feelings and bruised ego, he decided to table that and focus on the current issue or, likely, issues.

 "Do you want it in alphabetical order?" 

"Please tell me you can actually do that," Conner teased with a wide grin. You couldn’t fight off a smile forming on your face. "Sadly, I am not Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne. My brain cells work like a normal person's,"

"Didn't you die?" 

"Death only fixes stupid when you stay dead. You've seen Red Hood and whichever other Ex-Robin has been to the pearly gates,"

"You say that as if Jason wouldn't tell the big man to fuck off," 

You blinked and turned your head up to the ceiling. "Ok that's true," You conceded, your mouth twitching rapidly from side to side making you look like an exasperated rabbit.  Cute.

"So what's up?" 

 All the good mood from the past few minutes dissipated in an instant. You looked down solemnly at the still steaming mug. You were silent for what felt like an eternity. 

 "It's family- Immediate.  And the source of all evil-"  

 "Lex Corp?" 

You snorted a shy tired smile cracked across your face.  You shook your head. Those little gestures just make Conner feel a little warmer. You, on the other hand, cursed at how easily Conner could make you laugh. You were  supposed to be sad damn it. 

"Money," Conner knew immediate family was always a sore spot for you. No one knew the specifics except Roz but that was inevitable when you're cousins.  Money was also a sore spot and based on your near dead tone. You’ve either lost a lot of it or you’re in a tight spot but not ready to elaborate. 

"Wanna try buying a lottery ticket?"

"What?"

"Who knows you might get lucky?" 

"You could have gotten lucky you if you-" 

"Are you seriously gonna keep bringing that up?" 

"Yes, most likely. Depends," 

"On what?!" 

"On whether I can think of something funnier to give you shit about or if you can convince me-whatever the fuck you're thinking of doing stop!"Conner's cheeky grin did not disappear nor did the faint flush on your cheeks. 

"I wasn't thinking of anything, you sick pervert" he laughed. You really should have been exasperated with Conner. You tried damn it. You looked at him skeptically before violently letting his head rest on Conner’s shoulder causing the other boy to fall over. 

"Aaaaaaawwwww babe , if you wanted to cuddle you could have just said so," 

You wanted to. In fact,  both of you wanted to. But unfortunately neither of you were martian and neither of you was willing to say jack.  You closed your eyes trying to pretend Conner wasn't a little shit. Conner radiated too much smug for that though. 

"Shut up," You mumbled into Conner's shoulder already feeling sleep pull him under. You clung to him. Maybe just for tonight you can indulge in this. Just for a little while you can cling to Conner's warmth. Maybe in the morning your head will ache too much to remember this. Waking up alone wouldn't be too painful then. Hopefully. 

---------------

You woke up feeling like a troop of Can Caning hippos decided to host a live performance all over your head. You sighed remembering that you had in fact run out of Aspirin just days before so you decided on just lying there and praying that Roz also needed Aspirin and  had more energy to run to the store. 

You settled in nuzzling in to the warm- 

Wait. It was October. 

Nothing in the apartment should be warm. 

NOTHING. 

Then, you heard it.  A LOUD snore. It honestly sounded more like the roar of an engine than anything.  Everything else followed. The slow rising and falling of the chest beneath you, the press of stubble against your forehead, and the strong arms loosely wrapped around you. 

Yeah. You died again. Yeah. You finally went to heaven. Yup. You were ok with that. You were  definitely 100% A Ok with this if this was heaven. Being held tenderly by the guy you liked while you got a good night’s sleep was definitely heaven. God, you were such a sap.  

How the hell you missed all of that baffled you.

 Oh wait. Dancing hippos. Fuck. 

Your head felt like it was threatening to crack open but somehow you honestly could not mind even if you tried. You were  laying on top of a hot (literally and metaphorically) guy mutually cuddling. You nuzzled into the junction between Conner’s neck and shoulder in an attempt to steal more warmth. Sure, you were probably gonna go deaf from the snoring. Sure, you were definitely irritated by the stubble pressed against your face. And sure, you would probably die of embarrassment once Conner woke up. You could worry about all that later. All you could think about was how nicely your arms fit around Conner’s neck and how Conner’s arms wrap around you a little tighter in return. 

Click. 

Click. 

You could hear the distinct sound of your own camera shutter. Each sound chipped away at your peace of mind. You lifted your head only to see Roz holding your camera. 

TAKING PICTURES. 

Your cousin was nothing if not a petty opportunist. 

“I would tell you to get a room buuuut the only bedroom iiiiis preeeeeeetty occupied,” Roz drawled  smugly way too pleased with herself. You opened his mouth to ask but you’d already made the mistake of walking in on Roz and a guest once and you were  pretty sure you needed more therapy for that than you did for your murder. You just sighed as Roz took another picture.

“Come on, (y/n), smile a little,”

“I’m not smiling for your blackmail material,”

Roz gasped trying to sound scandalized. She failed, only sounding amused beyond belief. “It’s only blackmail if you’re ashamed of it. Personally, I think you’re scoring big time,”

“Roz please just fuck off before you wake him up,”

“Too fuckin’ late for that. He’s been awake for awhile,” 

You could  feel Conner smiling into your hair and his arms wrap around you  a little tighter. You tried to straighten up. To tower over him. To look intimidating. 

But…. you couldn’t. You were kind of trapped because, yanno,  super strength.

 You were seething and threw a scowl at Conner who only chuckled at you in response.  

“You’re never gonna let me live this down, are you?” You snarled, clearly exasperated and feeling the hippos start their encore performance. 

“ Mmmmmm, it depends,” Nope. The hippos did not only come back for an encore. They brought friends. Based on the absolutely smug look on Conner’s face, you were in for an entire parade. 

You let out a breath not sure if you wanted to play this game but not really seeing any other options.  “On what?“

Conner paused and hummed and hummed and hummed some more as if he was actually thinking but you knew from the crook of his lips that he had this planned out. Maybe not this exact scenario but something close“Go out on a date with me,”

You blinked then rolled your eyes theatrically enough that your head rolled along with it.   “And be seen with you in public?” You teased, an almost sheepish smile tugging at your features.

Yeah, Conner wasn’t exactly expecting you to say yes.

 “Yeah. Sure. Why not?” You said playing it off as casually as possible but you couldn’t help but mirror the absolutely goofy grin plastered on Conner’s face.  His happiness was infectious. You felt weightless. It was probably the fact that you were floating with him but you were pretty sure you were just on cloud nine. You were doomed. Definitely, inevitable, indubitably doomed. Even though everything has been shit up to now. The happiness radiating off of Conner was enough to make everything feel a little better.  

Thank you so much for reading!

tag list: 

@idkmanicantenglish

@batarella (I thought you might like it?)

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Probably crack and a result of staying up way too late, but how do you think an AU where Peter dated and married Naomi instead of Nora would go?

This officially goes on the list of “ships I never considered before, but now that you say it I can kinda see it.”  Peter’s clearly got a competency kink, between Eva and Nora.  Naomi deserves better than Dan.  They’re both overworked single parents who try to do what’s best for their kids, and don’t always succeed.  Peter’s good at the nurturing and hug-giving and supportive side of things, not so much at the day-to-day practicalities.  Naomi’s excellent at making sure everyone is fed and sheltered and keeping up in school, not so much at the touchy-feely stuff.  Yeah, I can see it.

Anyway:

They meet through the PTA, naturally.  Naomi’s there to stage a formal protest about the high school’s suspension of late-bus service, and Peter’s there because this is the once-a-month night out of the house that Marco keeps scheduling for him.  Naomi makes a sarcastic comment about the U.S. government’s idea of “sufficient funding”, Peter jumps in with a one-liner about science grants, and four hours later they’re still companionably trashing the NSF over their third round of bake sale brownies.  Peter makes the first move, of course.  Naomi sets the time, the venue, the curfew, the transportation, and the expectations for the night, of course.

Jake thinks this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to him in his entire life.  The more both Marco and Rachel call him to complain about their respective parents, the funnier he finds it to be.

Both Naomi and Peter are pleasantly surprised at how well their kids get along.  They were both vaguely aware that Marco and Rachel knew each other through school, but neither one is prepared for the instantaneous companionable banter the teenagers fall into the moment Peter first brings Marco over to meet Naomi.

The first four or five times Marco comes around Rachel’s house for dinner, Jordan hides under her hair and watches him in enraptured silence.  After about two months’ worth of this, Rachel drags Marco aside after an Animorphs meeting and has a stern conversation with him.

Neither of them will tell the others what they talk about, even though Ax expresses concern at the brilliant red shade both their faces have taken on and Cassie gives them a knowing smile.  Technically Tobias overhears the whole thing — the others tend to get so caught up in hawk eyes that they forget all about hawk ears — but he’s nice enough to keep his silence.

The next time Marco’s over at Rachel’s house, he lets out a seven-second belch after downing an entire can of Mountain Dew in one go.  Over the next ten minutes, he insults Jordan’s favorite boy band, picks his nose in front of everyone, claims he’s going to die alone because girls are gross, and (to Rachel’s quiet shock) too-casually acknowledges his raging crush on Brad Pitt.

Anyway, it works like a charm.  Jordan gets over her crush pretty quick after that.

“You didn’t have to go quite that hard in the paint, you know,” Rachel says to Marco much later.  “Pretending to like Brad Pitt, I mean.”

Marco is lying on her bed, looking through one of her back issues of CosmoGirl with the air of a forensic anthropologist picking apart the dismembered remains of a human sacrifice.  “What?” he says, back in that too-casual tone.  “I can appreciate a good pair of lips, no matter what type of human being they grow upon.”

Rachel spins around, looking away from the mirror where she was fixing her hair.  Marco is now staring at the magazine as if trying to detect a coded message between two lines of the spread comparing different brands of eyeliner.

“No matter what type?” she asks.

Marco lifts his chin.  He doesn’t back down, and he doesn’t laugh.  There’s a defiant set to his smirk, and the careful confidence in his expression is betrayed by the slight trembling of his fingers clenched around the Cosmo.

Their parents are engaged, that’s all.  And it’s not something he’s ever told anyone... but he also thinks it’s maybe the sort of thing that one tells one’s siblings.

“So you do agree with me and Cassie about Jeremy Jason McCole!” Rachel says triumphantly.

Marco gags so hard he risks straining his own throat muscles.  “I have taste!  You, clearly, have none.”

If Jordan still has any romantic interest in Marco at all even after the you’re going to be step-siblings news broke, it disappears the instant that Naomi announces Jordan and Sara are going to be sharing a room from now on, because Marco and Peter are moving in with them.  A week later, Jake’s mother has a stern conversation with him about the extent to which he’s been running up their phone bill.  He grumbles that he didn’t ask to be everyone’s agony aunt, but that doesn’t get him out of being grounded.

Marco teases Rachel endlessly when he figures out why she leaves her window open every night, even — especially — when it’s cold or rainy outside.  But he also helps cover for her and Tobias without being asked, and one night in gorilla morph he deforms the oak tree out in the back yard so that a sheltered branch rests directly underneath her windowsill.

Rachel stops in the door of Marco’s room the day after the confrontation with Visser One outside the fake hork-bajir valley.  She doesn’t bother to knock.  He didn’t bother to shut the door.

Marco’s sitting in the narrow space between his bed and the wall, staring at the blank blue paint in front of his face.  His knees are drawn up to his chest, his hands limp at his sides.

“They didn’t find a body,” Rachel says, blunt as ever, standing over him.  “I know that’s not good news or anything.  But I also figured you had a right to know.  There’s no sign of Vis—  Of her body.”

Marco squeezes his eyes shut, hard, but still can’t stop the tears.  “Shit.”  He lets his head fall back against the bedspread.  “Shit.”

Hesitating only a second, Rachel scoots in next to him.  She doesn’t try for a hug or anything stupid like that, but she sits shoulder-to-shoulder with him.  She’s the kind of person given to stillness, but she stays put as he struggles to breathe and swipes his sleeve across his face time and time again.

“It’s never going to end, is it,” Marco says at last, when he’s got enough air for words.

Rachel shrugs.  “I’m the wrong person to ask.”

“Shit,” he whispers again.  “Shit, shit, shit.”

“You wanna play Sega?” she asks.  “Not think for a while?”

Marco shakes his head violently.  “I just need some space, okay?”

“Sure.”  She stands.  “I’ll tell my mom not to expect you for dinner.”

Their parents are downstairs cooking.  Laughing.  Arguing companionably over one of Naomi’s cases.  Every clink of dishes, every fond word, feels like a spike driven under Rachel’s fingernails right now.  And if that’s how she feels...

“Anyway, I know you think I’m a crazy psycho killer, but for what it’s worth I think you made the right call.”  She says it sharply, standing to go.  Marco doesn’t respond, not that she expected him to, and she yanks his door shut when she goes.

Peter doesn’t try to be Rachel’s dad.  But he helps her with homework and shows up to her gymnastics meets and acts more excited than she is when she aces a history test.  He asks her what she wants to study in college, not whether she’s going or how they’re expected to pay for it.  He doesn’t try, and he does pretty well anyway.

The Animorphs meet in Rachel’s room almost as often as they do in Cassie’s barn.  It’s more centrally located, even if it doesn’t have nearly the selection of morphs right at hand.  Jake and Cassie both have preexisting excuses for showing up several times a week, and Tobias and Ax never bother using the front door anyway.  Marco’s also taken the time to confirm that no one in the house is a controller, so it saves everyone a little peace of mind.

Rachel wakes up screaming in the middle of the night.  No, that’s not it; she’s screaming in her sleep, and then Marco snaps the light on and wakes her.  He sets a glass of water on her nightstand.  Tilts the alarm clock so she can see the time.  Pokes her in the arm to remind her that she’s human, at least for now.  When it becomes obvious that she’s not going to talk about it, he turns and leaves without ever saying a word.

“I need you,” Marco says into the phone, middle of the night, apparently apropos of nothing.  “They took my dad.”  He gives the address, and then he hangs up.

He and Rachel have come to a decision, without discussion, without niceties like consulting Jake, by the time they’re done fighting off the half-dozen controllers who were dragging Peter toward the portable yeerk pool.  Rachel demorphs as Peter watches.  Marco goes through the explanation the first time, then the second.

Midway through the third round of attempts to convince Peter he’s not crazy, Rachel gives up.  She herds both Peter and Marco into the backseat, and drives back to the house.  “Pack for a long trip,” she tells them both, and goes upstairs to tell her mom.

Maybe, Jake concludes, exhausted just at the thought, they could’ve kept going if it was just his parents, or just Cassie’s.  But Rachel and Marco can’t both disappear without rousing too much suspicion, and getting rid of just one of them will put the yeerks on the tail of the other.  “I guess it’s time,” he says.  “Better get ready to tell our own parents, then.”

By the end of that day, Rachel’s and Marco’s blended family is in the hork-bajir valley.  By the time two days have passed, Jake’s and Cassie’s families are there too, even if Tom is currently secured with about a half-mile of duct tape and will need to be babysat by several hork-bajir for the next three days.  A week after that, Tobias shows up with Loren in tow.  One hellish mission later, and Visser One is dead, but her host is rapidly recovering.

Naomi and Eva circle each other like a pair of housecats thrust into the same room, at first.  They’re prim and aloof and wary, unable to know what to make of each other.  Peter helps exactly nothing by retreating from the conflict entirely, busying himself with an elaborate irrigation project the hork-bajir don’t actually need his help with.  But he can’t escape them forever.

One night, all three of them get roaring drunk on some kind of regrettable fermented-bark thing, and finally have it out.  Peter makes a passionate speech or two about his love for them both before retreating into morose silence.  Naomi’s sixth drink ends in her making an elaborate attempt to draw up a timeshare contract over who will keep Peter on which night.

Eva slams a hand down on the table, and they both fall silent.  She won’t share, she announces quietly, and she won’t be with a man who cannot choose.  She’ll find her own way.

Her own way, as it turns out, is even worse than Marco could have possibly imagined.

“Why?” Marco cries, flopping on the ground in the middle of the next Animorphs’ meeting.  “Why, why, why does this keep happening to me?”

“Pretty sure we’ve been over this before, back when it was your dad, and concluded it’s not about you,” Jake says.  “Anyway, the yeerks —”

“No!”  Marco sits up.  “We have more important things to talk about than yeerks.  Tobias, back me up on this!”

«Uh, yeah.»  Tobias looks over at Rachel.  «By the way, all those times you talked about how weird it was when your mom started dating again... Sorry for not being more sympathetic.  Now that I’m in your shoes...  It’s really weird.»

Rachel sniffs.  “You only met your mom like a month ago.  It’s still worse for me.”

“And it’s worst of all for me!”  Marco has flopped back over.  He emits a noise something like a wookiee being murdered.  “Please someone acknowledge that it’s worst of all for me!”

Cassie pats him on the back of the head.  “It’s worst of all for you,” she says.

“Thanks,” he says into the grass.

“Okay!”  Jake throws up his hands.  “Marco’s mom and Tobias’s mom have a thing going.  Now do we have it out of our systems?”

«Personally, I think Loren and Eva are most compatible,» Ax says.

«Nobody asked you,» Tobias snarks.  «And Jake, just imagine for a second if it was your mom who was macking on—»

“Nope!” Rachel says loudly.  “Nobody is thinking about anyone’s mom and anyone else’s mom.  Or dad.  We are ignoring it, we are pretending it’s not happening, we are carrying on as Marco and I have been for over a year now, we are killing yeerks.”

“Yeah, like I was saying.”  Jake rolls his eyes.  “There are aliens invading the planet, remember?”

“The horror,” Marco mumbles, still facedown in the grass.  “The horror!”

Cassie gives him another sympathetic pat on the back of the head.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

Oh my gosh you just discovered mash? It's such a good show. It has some really serious episodes, end of season 3 comes to mind. I always imagined the animorphs watching mash or like somehow finding solace in it.

OH BOY BUT HAVE I MENTIONED THE MASH AU OF ANIMORPHS THAT I LITERALLY JUST THOUGHT OF TONIGHT THOUGH?

No, obviously not, I literally just thought of it tonight, but buckle in for it anyway because I’m SUPER in love with this show!!!!!

Now, keeping in mind that I am NOT EVEN three seasons in, here are my current castings, ft. the 4077th being known as The One Full Of Babies Fresh Out Of Med School (these kids are like 27 tops, they’re practically infants in terms of the medical field).

Colonel Elfangor Shamtul, The Local Adult, who’s actually in his late 40′s and is a real actual grown up surgeon with a practice and everything, now the boss of a MASH unit in Korea and discovering that his talent for commanding a surgical theater actually translates really well into commanding a military unit.  Most everyone under his command thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread.  All his superiors are basically looking for an opportunity to get his ass court martialed when they’re not handing down commendations for his weirdly effective slant-wise thinking.  His old buddy Arbron keeps them stocked then the supply lines are cut and if anyone asks Arbron and the Mountaineers are running a completely legitimate shipping enterprise.  Elfangor goes by first names with the entire populace unless a general’s there and has never enforced a dress code in his entire life because it would require him to give up his blue jacket.  He was transferred to command of the babiest MASH unit as a punishment after the first time his buddy’s legitimate shipping enterprise got tapped for being probably black market.

Corporal Aximili Isthill, the babiest baby, who is 25 and oh my God Elfangor is adopting this boy he loves him so much.  They’re not blood relatives but Elfangor got handed a gangly excitable kid as an aide and was basically like “that one’s mine thanks” and never looked back.  Ax is actually seven kinds of genius but none of them are medical--he has a stellar memory for medications but no head for anatomy--so he’s more or less single-handedly keeping the base running.  He’s apparently some kind of psychic, if his gift for knowing exactly what’s going on where and when at any given time is any indication, and he's discovered a frankly inhuman talent for electrical engineering since he got drafted out of his blossoming career as a perpetual student.  Elfangor is making this child get a doctorate if it kills them both, and since it turns out they actually live within an hour of each other in the States, there’s a non-zero chance that Ax will be moving in with him afterward.

Captain Jake Berenson, who is chief surgeon but not second in command and who just wants everyone to cooperate for five fucking minutes please.  He is begging.  And everyone knows that even though Big Jake (his army nickname within 0.3 seconds because he’s the tallest guy in the unit and built like a Mack truck) isn’t legitimately second in command, he’s the guy you go to if you want to get anything done.  He specialized in cranial trauma, which isn’t as useful as you’d think when half the head wound cases die before they reach the hospital, but Jake thought the brain was interesting and made his specialty decision while kinda drunk, so.  Leave him alone.  The reason he’s chief surgeon isn’t because of any particular medical brilliance--Jake is a good surgeon mostly through sheer pigheadedness, not because he’s a sparkling medical mind--but rather because when Jake starts barking orders, people listen.  

Captain Rachel Berenson, who is a surgeon because I don’t care about historical accuracy and because she fought tooth and nail to go to medical school and then signed up for the war when they wouldn’t draft her.  She’s at least 60% of the reason Jake is begging people to cooperate, because Rachel has made nine doctors, four nurses, and six patients cry since getting her white coat.  He’s not saying she didn’t have her reasons, okay, she has the right to defend her position as a doctor, but also please stop.  She knows more about chest injuries than probably anyone else in Korea and she likes to remind people that it means she’d be just as good at inflicting them as patching them up.  Marco labels her the Warrior Princess after two days of knowing her and it sticks hard even though she threatened to open him up with a rusty scalpel when she first heard it.

Major Cassie Day, head nurse, who everyone knows is the best at making sure that, once the surgeons have yanked someone back, they stay back.  Cassie is an angel, probably, or at least so goes common theory based on the sheer miracles she’s pulled off in her time.  As long as someone’s done bleeding to death when they get to her, she’ll probably drag them through--whether they like it or not.  She and Rachel are bunkmates because no one knew what to do with a lady surgeon and Cassie offered, and they’ve been best friends ever since, complete with Cassie occasionally helping Rachel’s more hare-brained schemes come together.  Everyone and their cousin, including Elfangor, knows that Cassie and the chief surgeon make out in the supply tent, but also the one time Cassie left for a week leave the entire unit broke down so no, they will not be reporting them for breaking frat regs.  No matter how much Elfangor’s second-in-command wants to.  One time someone talked shit about her skin color and was drummed out of the unit on mysteriously appearing court martial charges two days later.  Contrary to popular opinion, it was not Rachel who started the brawl that got him brought up on charges, nor was the guy actually murdered straight up.  Arm broken, yes.  Murdered, no.  Turns out Big Jake hits as hard as he looks like he does.

Captain Marco Reilly, who is the unit psychologist and also Rachel’s top enabler.  She spends 80% of her time defending herself as a woman and a surgeon, he spends 80% of his time defending himself either based on his race or based on his career, and they are responsible for 80% of Jake’s ulcer because they get in a huge amount of trouble together.  Psychology hasn’t really entered the generally accepted medical field, but Marco specializes in treating trauma and combat fatigue and he gets soldiers back on their feet better than anyone else.  He decided on his career when he was a kid and his mom was a nurse in WWII who wrote home about how she saw boys without a mark on them ruined worse than those who would walk with a limp for the rest of their lives, and Marco doesn’t believe in regret.  It’s also this mentality that generally leads to him and Rachel being a Problem for Jake.  That doesn’t stop Jake from accepting the offer of gin from Marco’s personal still, or from more than occasionally getting swept up in the shenanigans himself.

Corporal Tobias Williams, who is in charge of triage and about 80% trained as a nurse in addition to his other duties.  (I know MASH doesn’t formally have someone in charge of triage but they SHOULD okay, listen, they SHOULD.)  He’s a decent chopper pilot, too, but the unit tends to contrive reasons to keep him around.  Rachel likes to have him assist her in surgery because he has an uncanny talent for spotting things that have the potential to kill her patients almost before she does, and isn’t afraid to mention it.  Tobias and Ax fall in together as inseparable besties within about a month, and Tobias learns not to wait for the announcement that wounded are coming in not long after--he just watches Ax tilt his head in that particular way and sprints off to the staging area without missing a beat.  For a bit a lot of the unit talked shit behind Tobias’ back, claiming that triage was slacker work, but then there was a day where Tobias spent nineteen hours on the staging area directing choppers and ambulances, stopped for twenty minutes to eat and chug an entire pot of coffee, and turned back out for another twenty hours, and went to assist in OR once the wounded stopped pouring in.  Then folks stopped talking shit.  Tobias is nervous and jumpy and generally quiet enough that no one ever thinks to suspect him of being trouble, which is why people are always shocked when it turns out that, say, it was his idea to smuggle in a dozen kegs of beer for New Year’s.

(Elfangor spends three months getting really attached to Tobias before he finds out some relevant information and has about a six month crisis about how to approach it.  His ultimate solution is TBD.)

Major David Pence, aka That Rat, who is Elfangor’s second in command and a screeching pain in everyone’s ass.  Everyone except David knows that his dad bought his way into med school and leveraged his rank in the army to force Elfangor to take the kid on as his second.  David’s under the impression that he’s great shakes at surgery and command both, and he straight up tried to report Elfangor when Jake was appointed chief surgeon over his head.  That was not a major event, because David tries to report someone about twice a week.  About half those attempted reports are either Rachel or Tobias or Ax--Tobias and Ax because he thinks they’re getting above their station, Rachel apparently for the crime of being herself.  He cannot be trusted to keep a level head in a crisis and Cassie has had to swoop in and save his patients more than once.  

Ji-Min “James” Song is a civilian doctor, their primary contact at a long-term recovery facility in Seoul where they send patients who are destined for a discharge.  Every time James rolls up to collect a patient, it is heavily implied that very similar chicanery is going on at his place, and he and Jake get drunk together to commiserate a lot.

Elfangor gets drunk with them too, sometimes.

[overlycaffeinatedwarmage]

RtS Ch 41-43

Chapter 41

Just after Mircea’s revelation about his wife and why he wants a Pythia so badly Cassie shifts blindly.  She winds up right outside Pritkin’s room at Dante’s. Not a surprise at all.  He’s her rock in her crazy new life and she wants and needs him back.  When Cassie’s life goes to hell, she goes to Pritkin.  She still can’t bring herself to actually see him without his soul though, that’s why she shifts outside his door.  It’s as close as she can bring herself to be even though she wants to be with him, probably more than anything right now.  

 Cassie takes a hard look at her relationship with Mircea in this chapter.  She claims that he wasn’t grooming her, but I think he was.  Grooming can mean a lot of things.  God what an ass.  She recaps what happened with the geis and what all went wrong there.  Cassie still doesn’t lay enough blame at his feet, even after all of this. Find your mad girl!  He used and manipulated you! No two ways about it.  Ugh, the marks, I hate them! Let's get rid of those ASAP.

 Rian hears the noise of the shattering phone and comes out into the hall.  I want to know what that text or voicemail said! We don’t have any comments about Rian’s clothes here.  But Cassie was highly upset and probably not noticing anything so that could go either way. Holy shit, Rian is smart. I feel like an ass not seeing her as such before now.  Does that make me prejudice?  I didn’t think the “pretty” demon girl had brains?  Or maybe it’s more so that we never really see Rian on her own.  Just as an extension of Casanova, who does little more than bitch.  

 Rian says that each old vamp needs a reason to keep going. What's Rian's play here?

Whose side is she on?  I’m still unsure of her.  At first, I thought she was team Cassie, then she betrayed Cassie, then she was back on team Cassie.  She talks about serving two masters.  This is what made me originally think she was the one who betrayed Pritkin to Mircea, but I don’t know.  I cannot figure her out.  I think she’s on team Rian.

 “Rian caught my arm. “It matters,” she said urgently. “If you care for Mircea as I think you still do.”

 “I stared at her, feeling my face turn ugly. “And did he pay you to say that?”

        “The dark eyes flashed. “I owe him no fealty; if anything, the debt I have is to you. You helped Carlos when you didn’t have to, when almost no one else would have. Even after I betrayed you, and gave my master information about your plans. I thought it was the right thing to do, the best way to help both my lords, but I was wrong. I am trying to make amends… The ones who survive are those who find some peace with their fixation, either by obtaining it or by letting it go””

 Cassie is feeling ready to give up and completely hopeless. I’ve been there.  It’s soul destroying.  I never want to go back.  Rian points out what all Cassie has done, her court, Apollo, Marco (he found his thing, it was Cassie's court. Huh, he's going to Cassie in the divorce. Never realized that before now. But those girls put him firmly on her side). Cassie has imposter syndrome.  She wants to explain away and assign her wins to someone else, without her none of those things would have happened. Oh Cassie.

Fred shows up, he hears her say Arthurian Britain, and he answers her about that. So he knows that much. What does he do with it though? Is he the rat? Please don’t let my Fred be the rat.  He is my favorite vampire in all the world.  Full stop.

 How does he know where to find Cassie?  She’s mentioned before that the tracking ward the Senate has on her isn’t precise enough to know where in Dante’s she is. Maybe the master called and said she was in the hotel.  There are only so many likely places to look. Others went looking for her too and Fred just got lucky?  Or there’s more to Fred than meets the eye…….

 Chapter 42

Caleb is laughing and catching her up on what happened in Britain, via a video spell. They had a win for once. Her warning got through and they held back the dark. Then they have domestic crazy in the suite. Jiao, Necromancer kid, is entertaining the Pythian kids and the Circle mages see it and freak.  

 Cassie asks what the witches are doing there and shots are fired "After this morning, they decided you needed some competent help.” Ooooooooo, Witch dress code: “Unlike the Circle, the covens didn’t appear to have a dress code. Or if they did, it might be summed up as “Come at me, bro.”” I love this line.

 Are abilities not genetic? Why is Jesse not a null and a Firestarter? Maybe a throwback to another relative? Dad's side? Tami pulls magic off witch and mage, go Tami go! Are we sure she's low level if she can pull that off? And drop the circles wards? If she’s low level I’d hate to meet a strong null!  Or maybe she misled Cassie as to her power level all those years ago.

 Cassie sends annoyed mages off since they don't want to be there anyway. She bickers with the Witches, says they are a family, must accept everyone there, period. Fuck yeah Cassie! Aww Jug Ears is staying, I wonder why. Especially after she dumped him in the lake. Jonas and the failsafes arrive, how? Did they shift? Confused!!

 Chapter 43

Jonas, you asshole! This is not the way to introduce more acolytes to a traumatized Cassie. Especially after the last shit you've pulled with her. How does she know if you're on her side or not? You know what she’s been dealing with too.  Guh, I’m so sick of all the jerks who “know better” in Cassie’s life.  Why are they all fucking men too?  Well, I know why.  But still ticks me off.  

 Chaos, vamps and Witches try to fight Jonas and failsafes but they deflect everything.  The failsafes shift to Cassie, and start to explain. Then the party moves to Rhea so Jonas can check on her and they can all talk more.  

 Jonas: “In that case, why would the Black Circle need Lizzie? Why risk so much to gain her abilities if they already have two acolytes, and with more power than I’ve ever seen her use?”

So, they are more powerful than Lizzie. Good. Cassie needs some powerful allies worth a damn.

 Abigail and Hildebrand explain failsafe program. They exist in times of need of Pythia. Only to come out of “hiding” in the direst of times. The need hasn't seemed vital enough until now. Everything was kept out of media, no one else knew about it so they stayed away. Then they feared they wouldn't be received well, so they went to Jonas first.  I like Hilde, she's a tougher, older version of Rhea.

 Johanna, the last acolyte.  Cassie realizes that she is the one Cassie fought in Wales.  Cassie misquotes Indiana Jones, “it's not the age, it's the mileage.” (Should be, “It’s not the years, honey, it’s the mileage.”) They talk to Lizzie.  And the news is out, she now knows that Rhea is Jonas' daughter. Soon everyone will.  Lizzie folds and finally talks.

[warriorlid14]

Y'all know I love Harry Potter, but the Animorphs will always be my favorite war babies and they're all 3 dimensional and very interesting characters. I mean you have:

Jake: The happy, average-Joe, mediocre kid with the perfect nuclear family who straight off the bat finds out that his brother who he adores has been taken by the enemy. So he starts fighting to save him only to quickly find out that he may have to kill him in the end in order to win the war. To become the leader of the Animorphs, and have everyone looking at him to make the best choice, the good choice, when one might not even exist in the first place. To hate the power and knowing that his friends' lives are in his hands and that one day he'll slip up and get them all killed.

Rachel: Beautiful, perfect Rachel who's beautiful, smart, and brave. Who gets perfect grades and loves gymnastics even though she says she's too tall to go pro. Who's the first to a fight and last to leave. Who becomes a pillar of strength among her friends. Except she's just as scared as all of them, right? But she's the warrior, the one who can't show fear, so she's gotta keep up the gung-ho act until eventually it's not an act anymore.

Tobias: The bully-magnet. The orphan. The kid with a fucked up home life who nobody talks about. The kid who wants to be a part of something so badly that he jumps into the war head-first. Who becomes the first casualty after accidentally on purpose becomes trapped in morph. Who slowly starts to lose his humanity and fight for it and lose it again and then fight for it until he has to redefine exactly what it means to be human. Oh and also he eats rats for breakfast and kills people.

Cassie: Sweet, kind Cassie who has a heart of gold. Og cinnamon roll. Carefree Cassie who dresses up in poop-covered overalls and spends half her time helping her dad run their animal rehabilitation clinic. Who cares about everyone: friends, strangers, and enemies. Human, animal, and alien. She's the moral anchor, Cassie. Except that what does morality mean admist a war? She tries so hard to keep her hands clean, her friends hands clean, and draws lines in the ground in a desperate attempt to be good. Well, killing is bad, right, so in a fight, we'll incapacitate the enemy but not kill them. That's good, right? Except that their enemy is ableist as shit and will kill their own soldiers anyway, and much slower than the Anis would have. So what the fuck are morals?

Marco: The funny one. The class clown who doesn't do all that good in school. The goofy best friend. Who would ever take him seriously? Except that Marco is the smartest of the bunch. The most cynical and cunning and the one that can see the bright-clear light between point A and point B and gives no shit how many lives are lost as long as they win in the end. A true slytherin with the loyalty of a hufflepuff because he has literally let himself be electrocuted to save someone he loves. Marco as a villain would be terrifying as hell.

Ax: Ax the alien who knows nothing about humans and makes weird noises in human morph and would kill for a cinnamon bun. Goofy, alien antics ensue. So anyway, his older brother who he looked up to was killed and now he has to live up to his name, the greatest war-hero of their time. And he has to be loyal to his own race, not these silly human kids who have taken him in, right? Right. And the andalites are the superior race anyway, right? That's what the military says. Exceeeept that the andalites aren't as noble as they seem and maybe his brother wasn't the hero they all thought he was. And maybe there are more important things than honor.

Anyway, Animorphs is a great series that has it all: humor, awkward romance, and lots and lots of angst.

I’m linking this again, and you can also read my followup article about the coolest and most fascinating alien races from the series, because I’ve seen some talk lately about how everyone fawned over J.K. Rowling while sleeping on K.A. Applegate and that is very very true. Animorphs is better in every respect than Harry Potter. You might want to be like “that’s apples and oranges! Animorphs is a sci-fi epic with space aliens and Harry Potter is about a filthy british school that eats children or something!” but Animorphs successfully confronts some of the same things Harry Potter thinks it was confronting and only kind of tip-toed near, like the psychological impact of thrusting enormous responsibility on mere children, the nature of bigotry, and the price of having power superior to other people. The window dressing may be different but boiled down to their rawest intellectual elements you will get things from Animorphs that Potter ultimately chickened out of. Applegate is also an actually decent human being. And then to top it all off the books have shit like this in it:

(artist’s site)

[rotationalsymmetry]

Animorphs Read-Through Book 4 (Whale Morphs) Part 2: There's really bad bad guys and less bad bad guys, and apparently Innis Two Two Six is a less bad bad guy

I appreciate Rachel being ready to call 911, but there’s actually a wide range of reasons someone might pass out for a moment that aren’t 911 worthy. Side note, it is wild that kids aren’t really taught first aid as a routine everyone-does-it thing. It’s not like basic first aid takes that long. It can be rolled into science or health or whatever.

Very sad that Tobias didn’t get caught by his romantic interest. Maybe they’re not meant to be.

The problem with partnering people up in a five person team…

Gosh, I wonder what type of being that we know of isn’t human and uses thought speech.

What… what do you mean it’s not speaking in words? What is it speaking in?

I just realized: the only constraint on their morphing that’s affecting the narrative is the two hour limit, which Applegate has been getting a lot of mileage out of. But Elfangor referenced other risks that he didn’t have time to explain. Ax would know though. So maybe we’ll get more things for the kids to worry about!

I also just realized: I don’t think they mentioned Kadrona rays even once in the last book. Which make sense. It didn’t really come up.

I do appreciate how this series is clearly meant to be interpretable if you read it out of order. Or don’t remember shit from the last book.

The series that is the absolute best for that is Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series. Most books can just be read whenever. There is no continuity other than the setting and Death. The first book I read was The Hogfather, which was like the 20th book in the series or something, and it was fine.

D’awww, they’re all on board for “ok, well if it’s an Andalite of course we have to do a rescue.”

Is the next one going to be a Marco POV? I want a Marco POV.

I still don’t know what they told their parents to make them be chill about camping out in a cave last book, and I don’t know what they told them this time to let them be out at the ocean (and we have no idea how far away they live from the ocean and we do know none of them drive) after dark.

Can I tell which coast they’re on based on the moon? Presumably it’s a new moon because it’s visible in the evening rather than the morning, and it’s setting, and the direction it’s setting in would be west, and it sounds like it’s setting over the ocean. Implies west coast?

If they’re in California I think they might be acting overly paranoid about not mentioning their state. There’s a million people in California.

Well. Can’t be too careful I guess.

Apparently the red-tailed hawk range suggests they’re not in North Dakota, but not much else. Good choice of bird.

The “a million people in California” was of course supposed to be a generic large number, not a precise sum. It’s 40 million actually.

We can do some north-south narrowing down if we get a water temperature.

Unless they’re fabricating some details to hide their true location. That would be smart.

Interestingly, I think Rachel respects Marco a lot more than Cassie does, even though she doesn’t act respectfully towards him.

Oh! That does actually explain why it’s Cassie and Tobias.

I still can’t believe it’s called The Sharing. What a creepy sounding name.

I wonder if we ever find out why Mom Chapman wanted to yeerk.

Oh shit. Well they have to get to Ax before Visser Three does.

Fucking Yeerks. They have every reason to believe this is a normal group of teenagers just messing around. But they’re shooting.

…I think in general fresh water fish can’t live in salt water and vice versa, but trout… don’t they have some fresh water/salt water life cycle thing?

“That fool should not have been shooting.” Thank you, Innis Two Two Six, voice of reason.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

Wait, why do people have trans headcanons about Tobias? I love reading about trans headcanons. Soooooooo tell me about trans guy Tobias. 😃😃😃 And link me to trans girl Tobias headcanons if you know where to find them!

Right, so, a lot of people read Tobias’ discomfort in his human body as gender dysphoria, or at least a pretty good sci-fi analogue, which I think is really cool!  I generally don’t write trans Tobias myself because...actually tbh I think I’ve never written a fic where Tobias took his shirt off and/or anything else that would make anatomy a real issue, so you’re totally within your rights to headcanon whatever you like.  My somewhat disinterested grasp on gender makes me a bad candidate to write trans stuff because.  Like.  Listen.  You can use whatever pronouns you want with me and I will absolutely not give a damn.  I’ve gone by five different first names falling everywhere from feminine to androgynous to masculine (some people call me Gabe), I’ve been called sir, miss, ma’am, and you there, and honestly: I don’t care.  So like...I am not writing gender dysphoria stuff because I don’t have a good handle on gender in the first place.  

As far as the trans girl Tobias headcanons go, I don’t have any of them on deck to be linked because it’s not my jam, but I’m sure someone will step up to the plate here.  I did read a really excellent fic one time where Tobias acquired Rachel and she and Rachel went to the mall on a date and it was pretty cute, but also it is lost to the depths of my AO3 history.

Regarding trans boy Tobias, on the other hand, I feel it a little more.  Hear me out here.

Tobias is literally flat out tortured by bullies at school (MM4), which, listen, I went to a really small parochial school where their handle on the concept of trans-ness was dubious at best.  First gym class, Tobias is basically screwed, even though his uncle probably doesn’t give enough of a damn to say what he can or can’t put on his paperwork.

Tobias mentions several times that his uncle doesn’t care about him, but was can all basically agree that he’s probably also abusive as well as being neglectful.  More to the point, though, Tobias says that his aunt cared more when he was younger (before he came out maybe?) and that she mostly used him as free labor once he was older.  So in this situation I headcanon that the majority of the time, Tobias’ uncle doesn’t give a shit what Tobias calls himself and is therefore a nominal improvement on his aunt, who still calls him Tabitha and yells at him every time he cuts his hair off.  Tobias at some point tells Rachel offhand that, yeah, his uncle hit him from time to time, but at least he usually called him “kid” or whatever, and Rachel almost gets on a goddamn plane to go beat the shit out of his aunt.  (I firmly headcanon that in any universe, Tobias spends minimum one hour a month talking Rachel and eventually Ax out of hunting down his extended family.)

The Animorphs all know he’s trans and are ready to Fight about it.  This is generally the reason that I prefer trans boy Tobias rather than trans girl Tobias, because I like AUs that fit reasonably well into canon and in order for Tobias to be a trans girl, he would have to be in the closet with literally every single person he knows.  He would be lying constantly to the Animorphs about who he is.  And honestly his life is so terrible that I can’t stand to put him through that, and moreover: don’t come here with your The Animorphs Don’t Really Trust Each Other nonsense.  Get out of my house with that.  I will talk for days about the breakdown of team dynamics toward the end of the war, but these kids would fucking die for each other, don’t come at me with your Jake Is Transphobic shit.  I’ll deck you, straight up.

BOOK 23 SPOILERS: The Ellimist shows Elfangor the future so that Elfangor knows to write his letter to his son and Tobias has to work really hard not to burst into tears in front of Visser Three about it.  Relatedly, Loren is a disabled woman who married an alien, I am 100% sure that Tobias coming out to her would be 0% of a problem.  “I’m so glad you trusted me with this and I want you to be happy, but also we are at war so maybe this is not the best time to have a heart-to-heart.”

Listen...Andalite culture is such a hidebound train wreck that I have no idea off the top of my head if they would be fine with the trans thing.  I have some strict-ish headcanons about how marriage works (literally intended for reproduction, as in: usually arranged, often a friendly formality that only lasts as long as there’s a child to raise, and structured so as to match couples based on their ability to parent together and their genetic compatibility), but nothing hard and fast about sex or gender.  Except that I will have my tragic gay aliens and therefore: same-gender love matches exist.  But even if Andalites aren’t down with the concept of the gender spectrum, Ax will have known Tobias for most of a year before Tobias’ biological sex becomes an issue that even exists in the physical world, and I’m pretty sure he could be talked around.

I feel like the morphing thing has great potential for transgender usage, which I guaran-damn-tee you the Andalites have not thought of (I have a lot to say about how the Andalites seem...pretty uncreative with the morphing thing).  In a happier world, after the war Tobias admits publically that he’s trans and that it’s part of the reason he’s uncomfortable in his human form, and Frolis maneuvers himself a new human body that looks a lot like his old one with a few major exceptions.  A feather, or a silhouette of a hawk in flight, becomes a familiar Trans Pride mark, with people carrying flags and wearing tattoos at marches.  Rachel has never been more delighted with the world, and picks up a new crusade.  She only gets arrested a few times.

Oh, also let me take this moment to give you a few other headcanons about queer Animorphs.

Jake: actually Jake is straight because I have never seen someone who is so obviously a Straight Ally Doing His Very Best but in like every aspect of his life.  He’s doing a good job and he’s the first person Marco comes out to.

Marco: B I S E X U A L as fuck and dtf basically anyone.  This is straight up canon, literally any given Marco book includes him commenting on at least one person’s attractiveness.  I think the only Animorph who does not routinely get hit on is Tobias and I’m willing to ascribe that to Marco’s very understandable fear of death by acute grizzly bear.

Cassie: li’l bit bisexual, li’l bit gnc, lot bit too busy to care.  I feel like Cassie is also demisexual because...she’s so much about the person.  Whenever she talks about Jake and why she’s attracted to him, sure, she’ll talk about his eyes or his smile, but it’s usually about how his real smiles are rare and therefore special, or about how he seems so confident and adaptable under the gun, or about how much he cares about his causes.  Thus: demi Cassie.

Rachel: listen I don’t know because I feel like Rachel probably wouldn’t bother to take the time to have an identity crisis ever, she would just be like “update everyone I’m also into girls” and move on with her life.  People would ask her what her sexuality was and she would give them a disdainful look and say “not your fucking concern” and go on about her day.  Rachel goes to her deathbed without ever giving a single fuck about anything, up to and including what she should or should not call herself.  (Oh but obviously Melissa Chapman is a lesbian and has been in love with Rachel since they were kids)

Ax: cinnamon buns are Ax’s One True Love and while I do feel like he’s probably pansexual and kind of blithely disinterested in the human parameters of gender, I also feel like he’s the kind of person to tell people out loud and in public that his sexuality is Cinnabon.  He learns this kind of joke from Marco and the others all immediately despair of them both.  Jake just.  Washes his hands of this whole situation.  He’s out.  He’s done.  Ax is beyond help.

Tobias: even in universes where I write Tobias as a cis boy, please assume that he is definitely bisexual and also likes to wear eyeliner.  It is the only makeup he can successfully apply except for lipstick (lipstick is pretty idiot-proof as long as you can match colors), but his winged eyeliner is so good that Rachel sometimes has him do hers.