#CAN I EVEN TRUST THIS ANYMORE HELP
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challahfairy · 5 months ago
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ai art is everywhere and it makes me rage
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levemetal · 2 days ago
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I got Procreate and gave it a test run with some silly AU sketches of course
So have Calamity SJ adopting Hong‘er! Ft. my silly calamity MNQ AU and it’s inevitable conclusion of atticwife Jun Wu in the second pic because I am no longer in control here.
SY tried to be the cool uncle, unfortunately YQY is the cooler uncle so he got the Feng Xin treatment. Binghe about to start beef with a child lmfao.
Ling Wen is new heavenly emperor and I ensure you she is as overworked as ever, but she does not care about heavenly officials marrying calamities anymore. First was YQY, and then Jun Wu. Xie Lian and Shi Qingxuan are really not trendstarters here.
#svsss#shen jiu#tgcf#yue qingyuan#qijiu#heaven official's blessing#mxtx svsss#original shen qingqiu#calamity sj#calamity child custody fight au#junmei#I have painfully obvious brainrots and I’m not sorry#basically sj met honger while he was out getting his weekly fill of killing slavers#he saw the kid fight the other kids bullying him and though hold up that one has potential#so begins trying to befriend a wild feral cat. he starts with pouches of food and money#tentatively honger begins to trust sj and his weird pieces of advice that work too well in the streets#they develop feral street rat to feral street rat communication#honger doesnt wish to leave so sj sets up in the shrines of xl with him for a while#teaches him all the important stuff like counting and writing (though his calligraphy stays atrocious despite everyone‘s best efforts)#yqy checks in with his husband and finds him with a child#so naturally he immediately adopts him too#thes both help him learn fighting and all#later honger leaves of his own volition towards the rest of the tgcf plot and qijiu doesn‘t see him anymore for a while#eventually a new ghost king is in the kiln and SJ goes to check out who comes out of the kiln#cue spiderman pointing meme#severe scolding later#honger now hc is adopted back because this is their son#sj even gives him a battle fan which hc ts with just like Sj#i imagine sj would have no complaints about xie lian though. he may be a hissy cat but he can see this is good for both hualian#the black water arc here would be vastly different too cause He Xuan would get emotional support from yqy and sj
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foxx-queen · 1 year ago
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i keep thinking about the datamined conversation between halsin and minthara and what gets me about it is that if you side with halsin and turn minthara away, thats objectively the bad choice.
like at this point, you've rescued minthara from moonrise. you know now that she was being controlled to act against her will. you've gone to the trouble of rescuing her from her tormentors, and you've experienced what it felt like as they tried to destroy her mind. you know what will happen to her if you turn her away. and if you do, you're willingly condemning her to that fate. you've essentially allowed her to experience freedom, to regain her sense of self, only to tear that away from her again.
whereas if you side with minthara, and halsin leaves, that's the only consequence he experiences. that he's not a companion anymore. at this point, we've saved the grove, we've saved him, and we've lifted the shadow curse. we've helped him achieve what hes been hoping to do for over a century. leaving your party won't see him lose his free will. he can return to the grove and live his life.
the choice is essentially either condemn someone to a fate worse than death, knowing exactly what that entails vs not letting someone travel with you anymore. its pretty clear cut to me.
its just interesting to me that they've switched the morality of it around given that minthara is considered the 'evil' companion by so many.
#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3 spoilers#minthara#minthara baenre#before anyone comes at me and says that halsin is allowed to have his prejudice and his trauma. im not saying hes not#not sure about someone being allowed to have prejudice but yes thats part of human nature i guess#my point isnt that hes not allowed to react like this#my point is that hes wrong.#sure he can be struggling with his trauma and his prejudice over minthara being a lolth sworn (even if shes not anymore)#BUT. at this point we as a character /know/ theres more to her. we know that hes making an unfair assessment of her#which is even more jarring if you're a drow/lolth sworn drow#and at this point. you've saved the grove youve saved him youve helped him break the curse. he tells you its a debt he cant repay#and that hes so thankful. but he wont trust you or your decision. he won't even attempt to#and u know what thats fine. he doesnt have to. but if you're siding with him you're condemning her. you're killing her#if you side against him. he can go back to his responsibilities as an arch druid rather than leaving it in someone elses hands (which was?)#that is the lesser of the two evils here#yes you can call minthara the 'evil' character because shes a lolth sworn but thats just buying into the prejudice halsin is showing#and its wrong#anyways. my point is good for him if he wants to demand you make a ridiculous choice#but turning her away is the bad choice and tbh i feel like the game wants u to know that#and sure if you want to boil it down to which character u like more than the other and u prefer halsin. ur obvs gonna side with him#but in that case u probably wouldn't even get this conversation#because why would u have bothered to spare / save minthara in the first place?
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puppyeared · 11 months ago
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man
#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant#but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years#like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact#but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer#for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated#motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year#also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when#ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread#im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover#but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that#the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse#im so tired. im so tired#i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place#ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER#oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!!#and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously#vent#my art#myart#doodles#covid 19
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steakout-05 · 1 month ago
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been drawing a sorta reference thingy for Salesman Barry in the timeloop au i've been rotating around in my brain for a while recently :] it isn't as much a character design reference as it is more of a reference for how Barry's mental state begins to deteriorate as he starts having intense deja vu and nightmares every time his timeline gets reset upon death and he tries to piece together what is going on out of pure desperation and instincts (he is being experimented on and doesn't know it yet). i want to throw him at a wall (affectionate)
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it is still a WIP as i haven't drawn all the details yet and i want to change the colours as they look too dull on my pc,,, also here is the original sketch :D
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#barry steakfries#jetpack joyride#salesman!barry steakfries#i have been thinking of more ideas for the timeloop au..... still haven't come up with a proper name for it yet though loolll#i like putting barry in horrible traumatising situations it's fun seeing his character traits get pushed to their limits#first i'm putting him through a brutal survivalist zombie landscape that makes barry question if he'll even make it out alive this time#and then i'm shoving him into a horrible reality where his life and timeline are fake and his whole reality literally starts to shatter#its ok he gets better!!!#not so much craig though :( craig gets it rough#he basically goes through a horrific accident involving experimental technology that damns him to an existence that is permanently-#-attached to the timeline itself where he will die if the timeline gets wiped or he tries to enter another one#craig's existence is basically a living purgatory where he can never age or die but he is no longer alive as his former self anymore#he's like a half-ghost and he ends up doomed no matter what action barry would take at the end of the story#if barry erases the timeline craig dies. if craig tries to come with barry to the new timeline he dies.#if barry does nothing and keeps living in this broken timeline loop he's in then craig will never escape and have the chance to help barry#oh yeah i forgot to mention craig is trapped in a basement. and also that this post is about barry. woops#barry has to basically become a detective in this story and string together what the fuck is happening based on pure instincts alone#he's like a conspiracy theorist with his board covered in photos connected by red strings#it's really cool i think..... i should make a whole separate post about this#i love drawing my little man :)#he's so traumatised he needs a big hug and a best friend and tons of therapy and plenty of ice cream#i'm just thinkin of the effects of barry's trauma after he goes through the events of timeloop and enters the new dimension#dude's probably gonna have tones of nightmares and trust issues and dissociative episodes#he's probably going to develop a compulsion where he continuously checks the date and time because he's terrified of it resetting again#he needs a hug seriously#alternate universe#my au
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sysig · 1 year ago
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He was a human pirate, which you wouldn’t think you’d have to specify and yet (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#ZEX#The Captain#This isn't even a sci-fi pirate adventure anymore this is just straight up human pirates lol#How many layers deep can we go until it's unrecognizable! Next up is Pirate AU!Helix! (Kidding. For now) Lol#There is something funny about it all to me as well considering how in-line it fits with the research I was doing for a Vargas fic concept#All these bodice-rippers coming home to roost lol ♪#Which is also interesting 'cause I hadn't thought about this particular fic from that perspective before but it also fits! It works well!#Yet another angle to approach it from on a reread haha ♫#ANYway lol - human!Pirate!SCII specifically finally lol#I do love just how openly attracted the Captain is to ZEX as a human haha - his attraction/disgust to VUX-ZEX is wonderful of course#It's just so silly and cute how honest he is when ZEX is in a body that he's aesthetically attracted to haha#And ZEX recognizing and utilizing that! But it still not quite tipping him over to being completely sold on the whole kidnapping thing lol#''I don't understand it! I look beautiful and I /know/ he's attracted to me! What could be stopping him from sleeping with me???" lol#Keep trying ZEX I'm sure you'll get it at some point haha#Finishing off with an idea of ZEX having to deal with a hostile and still not quite trusting the Captain not to run away#Or risk him getting hurt! ZEX can handle this! Let him protect you!#But the Captain also wants to help! And/or escape y'know whatever's most convenient haha#He's proud <3 And he does have an affinity with ZEX at this point - he knows he can be useful! But that's not what's most important to ZEX#Also being scolded and blushing a bit hehe ♪ Given just a bit of pause to be told by such a pretty face to ''Behave'' ♫#I do really like ZEX with the coat and braids hehe <3 Handsome
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aceofstars16 · 10 months ago
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It’s 7:30 in the morning and I’m exhausted but I don’t know if I’ll be able to fall asleep again any time soon….
It’s like I was *just* starting to heal from having my heart and trust shattered 3 years ago, and now it’s happening all again, only this time I don’t have the church to go to for comfort/prayer/encouragement. And instead of a friendship I had for 2-3 years, it’s a church I’ve been going to for TWENTY TWO YEARS
I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone, this can’t actually be happening, right?
(I’m not okay, I keep crying and I just want to wake up from this nightmare)
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nightfallsystem · 5 days ago
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i hate my stupid life everytime i look up did / osdd symptoms i have a LOT of them but if i get diagnosed what if my mother abuses me for it. she doesnt like when im mentally unwell. like really. really doesnt like. like threatens me when im unwell. what then. then ill like. die. THEN ITLL GET WORSE .
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Struggling to accept what's within me, what I cannot control, what others cannot see what I hear.
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bunnyboy-juice · 1 month ago
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oughghgh
#post therapy tummy ow#today i surprised my therapist with a detail i didnt know i hadn't told her yet 🥴#and i said it so casually and i saw her eyebrows raise REALLY hard and thats when i realized and i was just like ok put a pin in it#i realized recently that like. these traumas i experienced jumble in my head so much bc they DO overlap#and its so fucked up realizing how many people have seen me in vulnerable states and gone “ah! i want in on that”#not as in “lemme help” tho but as in “lemme use you too”#like what the FUCKKKKKK#its not even specific to 2016 [where we're focusing on the chaos now] but even BEFORE THAT IM REALIZING#honestly if a chunk of u even knew a fraction of the trauma i experienced i think u would seriously not like me/find me as sexy as yall do#but anyway yea#my tummy hurts and i have to go to work /:#and all i want to do is keep vomiting about the traumas ive experienced bc i got really into some details there at the end /:#all ima say tho is: i deserve to have my life fully funded so i can have a fucking break bc what the actual Fuck#like yeah i couldve made some better decisions but the number of times i got hurt bc i trusted someone and told them things THEY ASKED TO#HEAR ABOUT/HOLD SPACE FOR and then they engaged in the same fucking behaviors or used that pain to then lie to me in ways that i would ofc#believe. . . . . .. . . . . . . disgusting its no wonder I dont feel safe fucking making friends anymore#like even thinking just about like the things i told certain ppl to the harm i experienced by them /:#and thinking of how all that ofc led to someone like my ex being able to take advantage of me#g-d i want to punch all these people
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himejoshibutch · 2 months ago
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i hate that i always get frustrated all the time.. im unable to enjoy my hobbies or going out with friends.. it's like im very much obliged to programming all day and i dont have any life outside it i hate it honestly
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angelstrawbabie420 · 3 months ago
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crazy how i have no one
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#like yes i have my internet friends and i adore them ofc#but i have no fucking one irl#and i mean no one. my mom’s side of the family is all dead and the other side is uber christian and doesnt give a fuck about us#i only have my brother#and i need help and support so horribly bad but i wasnt there for him when he needed me#so why the hell should he be there for me. he shouldnt#im going to have to rely on myself this time and i cant do that#i dont trust or believe in myself whatsoever#i think im fucking horrible and useless and repulsive#and idk how to be nice to myself bc ive never felt that and i dont know how to self soothe#i dont have the energy physically or mentally or emotionally to learn#and idk what to lean on anymore if i want to quit abusing substances#realized recently how much i do that.#and for how long. a decade. ive been acting like a 13 yo this whole time#idk how to move past and grow up. god i absolutely need to see my therapist again. if she’ll have me#i fear ill be rejected tho ive left and came back several times and last time she said ‘ofc ill take you back youre my person’#whatever that means. ive been an anomaly to every therapist/psych ive been to apparently they all mention how weird i am and how they cant#figure me out. like damn me too doc!#i want to email her so bad but i wont be able to see her until my insurance goes thru and i dont want to get free labor out of her if i dump#all the trauma ive sustained since i last saw her on her yw#but i want to get better i dont want to live like this anymore i cant do it#any of it#my coping mechanisms are all self destructive and i want to grow past that#but i need help and i dont have it. not really#whatever i guess. first step call and see wtfs going on w my insurance#i feel like i need help even for that . i feel so utterly incapable of everything snd i always have#i can do it. i can do it
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mariemariemaria · 4 months ago
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i feel kinda crazy bc whenever i was a teenager i created this sorta imaginary older big sister who had moved out of the house so in my head i could live w her whenever i wanted bc she had survived it all and was independent and she would also just comfort me in a big sisterly way whenever something bad or upsetting happened and recently ive been going back to that at my big age 😭 and its kinda sad and also just wish fulfillment and also kinda scary bc i really used to think that by my age i'd have everything sorted but i really don't and i know that's normal and nobodies twenties are perfect but some people also have good relationships w their fathers which is crazy just to think about sooo
#is this readable? i hope not ❤️#i typed up some of my feelings about this in a word doc and just realised like damn i basically have an imaginary friend as an adult#i really am crazy lol#i just feel lonely within my family atm. bc my brother is younger than me so he could never really do anything to help#and i feel like i cant really trust my mam the same anymore..even tho i still love her a lot#and i'm trying to improve my relationship w my dad bc im realising what a hard life he had and that he's not like an irredeemable Bad Perso#and sometimes he'll look at me a certain way or apologise for something small that he would never have apologised for a couple of years ago#and i feel like im going crazy like is he becoming a better person or..? and i feel bad bc im not really doing the same#or maybe i am. sometimes i think im unfair to him considering how he is now but i also cant really reconcile what he is now w/ how he#was then. and then he'll suddenly say something to me in a certain tone of voice or with a certain sharpness and i'll go back to how a felt#as a teenager :/ i rlly dont know what to do about it but i think its because i dont really have anyone to talk to about it#i mean i sort of do. but i also dont actually know how much of it actually happened and how much of it i just made up#but having worked w teenagers yeah they can be little shits but i also cant imagine treating any of them the way my dad treated me#just bc theyre annoying or have an attitude or are a little mean or whatever#like theres actually a lot of ppl i could talk to but also how do you even bring something like this up#how do i say 'oh and i invented an older sister as a coping mechanism and sometimes i still talk to her in my head' without sounding crazy#its 2am here i need to go to bed i have work in the morning 😭 day and night and next day ruined bc my dad spoke to me slightly funny
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tardis--dreams · 4 months ago
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Alright maybe my coworkers don't Actually hate me after all~
#me since Friday: omg you made it weird they all resent you now#my colleagues today: have you prepared for your appointment? [giving me 100 tips on how to get through it]#'actually you should start as an editor right away it would be unfair to make you do a traineeship'#wait you support that? i thought you hated me because I'd be useless for you because i couldn't help you as I do now anymore??#(i didn't say the 'i thought you hate me' part lol. i just said 'oh but wouldn't it be to your disadvantage?' and no. apparently not#whoops#also when i had the conversation with the boss he was leaning very much towards the traineeship#but also said 'well but [name] said a traineeship wouldn't be necessary for you because you already are so familiar with everything#and we also offer the additional trainings to our editors so hmmm'#like what? she actually told you that? (even my other two coworkers were like 'oh she told HIM directly??' like. i'm soft)#so yeah let's see where this gets me. if i actually get an Actual job there it will be much more stressful because I'll have fixed#working hours. but it would also be nice to stop being primarily a student. that's like. the main thing.#also when i was on the train with coworker 1 (I'll give them numbers now lol) he told me coworker 2 said she liked working with me#and coworker 3 was excited to hear i was coming to the office when he told her. like ???#ok enough of this#i just feel a bit better now that i know I didn't actually break their trust or whatever and they don't hate me lol#(also coworker 3 seemed really excited when we were talking about the trainings (like. special courses. usually during the weekend) I'd have#to do because she wants to do them too and 'we can do that together then!!! that would be great!!'#void screams#work stuff
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widevibratobitch · 9 months ago
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moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love
#i mean if the alternative is whatever the fuck is going on with my best friend rn then hooooo boy#cancelling therapy immediately i never want to change i wanna keep my trust issues forever and ever if its gonna save me from THIS#is he a dick? kinda. yeah. and a coward because if dude was sure he didnt want it since AUGUST and didnt have the guts to end it till now#actually he didnt end it. she was the one who finally snapped. but we seriously fought twice before because she just woudlnt listen#when i said that girl this isnt gonna work and you trust him too much and you're attachment styles are incompatible as hell#your*#but nvm. the least you could do when a 7 years younger girl who's clearly obsessed with you is breaking up with you#cause she just cant take it anymore. and you can see she's still in love with you because you've been lying to her for half a year.#imo the least you could do at that point is just. dont tell her that jfc. just say you're sorry it didnt work out etc etc#dont fucking tell her you stopped being in love with her in fucking august#and just 'didnt know how to end it' and lied when she asked if everything's alright#like my god. yes ig this would never have happened if she hadn't trusted him so completely and expected love to fix her whole life#but jesus dude. she's not even 23 she has a right to be naive. you're almost 30. you DONT get to be a man child anymore#christ. okay.#anyway i wish i could help her but telling her to 'trust less' and 'never truly rely on other people' sounds horrible and cringe and edgy af#but i genuinely dont have any other advice#like babygirl im sorry but your bestie is a piece of human garbage and she's doing the best she can but her best is Not Much alas
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tariah23 · 6 months ago
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Outside of all of… that happening to Gojo, and finishing Snowfall the other day, eek……..
#I can live with what gege did to Gojo even though it hurts so much bro#but I can’t deal with what happened to Franklin bro that’s one of the worst character endings ever omg my chest….#i meant it in a ‘that’s so fucked up’ way not ‘this is badly written’ because it really does fit his character….. even though witnessing#such a strong and ambitious character turn into……. THAT in the end… bro…………. not Franklin 😭…#his pride left him in ruin… the fact that he actually still had ppl who were willing to stand by his side in the end and help him but he#couldn’t accept it because in his own words ‘I built this shit! and if I wanted to tear it down with my own hands than I will-‘ like he was#so used to being in charge.. the boss… never taking orders from the people who worked for him… and whenever any other character would make#suggestions or decide that they wanted to branch off he’d completely lose his shit because in his mind they’re all stronger together and he#felt like he was losing control of the circumstances that arose and that ‘if only they would’ve listened to ME then everything would’ve#been just fine-‘ and the crazy thing is… Franklin was usually right 😭 like 90% of the time but it’s just he couldn’t communicate with his#friends and peers without blowing up like a demon just because they made their own decisions lmfao#especially without him/his consent lmfaooo he was a control freak for sure#so many awful things wouldn’t have even happened if everyone stuck together and listened but at the same time other characters grew tired#of being underneath him and it was within their right to go do their own thing like I get it#so many things were going to wrong in the end 😭… also teddy is such a bitter bitch bro#the fact that Franklin willingly decided to become…. I can’t even say it…#in the end over receiving what he’d consider a handout is insane…….. living like that? in filth because he’s too prideful to ever work#under anyone ever again even if it’s with a trusted friend… the money really blinded him but I get it#if I had 73 mil stolen from me out of nowhere by a bitter white man just because I told him I didn’t want to do business with him anymore#in the 80’s then I’d lose it too but ong Franklin was too ambitious to end up like this…#he kind of character you’d just watch and instantly think to yourself ‘this guy could go anywhere he wants. he’s no caged bird…’#so it makes his ending even more devastating……..#rambling#if you ever watch snowfall don’t watch the last episode 🥺 please promise me you won’t?
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