#By. working with me and recognising behaviours. LMAO

[tardigrade-train]

Coworker has mentioned multiple times now if my family is ‘on the spectrum’ and when pushed means mentally ill and im like??? Honey do you think im austistic or smthn. Is that what this is? Or are you using spectrum as cathall for neurodivergent???

[yandere-yearnings]

HEAVENCALL (??? x Fem!Reader)

feat. Cecilia Romano

♡ oneshot, approx. 1k words

♡ post-specific warnings: NSFW, sub + bottom afab reader, fingering (reader receiving), 'good girl' used on reader, depictions of gore and violence, masochism & sadism, Stockholm syndrome, abuse, collaring, blood play, (extreme) knife play, implied mind break, implied imprisonment, vaguely implied reference to cannibalism, extreme toxicity, DDDNE

♡ a/n: most important thing to anyone reading this is to pls be mindful of the content warnings above and to not read if you think it could be triggering for you. this is vv dark fiction and i legit cannot stress that enough. a lighter christmas fic will be posted soon, which can be viewed alternatively.

this is @unhappy-last-resort's gift for our secret santa fic exchange!! unhappy i'm gonna need you to forgive me for how shitty this turned out lmao. i lied when i said it would be my last rewrite and got wasted so i could churn smth out before today. i'm burnt out to all fuck and too tired to fix the medical inaccuracies drunk me did not consider so pls pretend that the femoral artery does not exist and the bleeding is venous otherwise our reader is technically dead and not just passed out💀 this is purely a work of fiction. yandere behaviour in real life is a cause of concern. proofread, unedited.

♡♡♡

It was because you hadn’t seen light in days. Chained up to this wall, waiting like a dog for your angel to come down to you — sensitive eyes, slithers of blinding white around her silhouette looking like a luminous halo. Deaf to her footsteps, blind to the blood on her dress or the stench of it, all you knew was her when she put her hands on you. Learning to treasure it, since it would only be you here grieving every touch you were deprived of when she left.  

“Miserable thing,” fingers smoothing out in your hair turn violent, she tugs, “feel special yet?”

When she chokes you, you do. You think the collar might just cut into your flesh from the force as Cecilia pulls on it. Lips meeting hers, you are whole again with the way her nails dig into your cheek, like she wants to rip the skin right off. Bringing the claim she has on each corner of your soul right to the surface, the sole thing that has become easy for you to understand is that you are ruined for this world.

“Please…” you beg, and you remain unaware of what for. There is something pulsating inside of you, blood beating bones from depths in which a consuming rot grows ugly. Cecilia’s scalpel shows an animal starved, and you recognise that it’s you. The spit and drool come like magic, she wets your dry throat easy with just a few fingers in your mouth — you are hungry. Her knees hit the ground for you, in turn your heart wants to come right up as penance for your unworthiness.

Thin gown bunched up into the crease of your groin, too light to feel any warmth from it — and you are too taken by the coldness of the blade on your thigh to care. Aching for the push, so your body could give way and you could feel the sharpness nestle inside of you, to wrap around something, to bury it in the grave of an open wound. Cecilia keeps a distance your cuffed wrists cannot close, and your desire drips from you with nothing to hide, nor cling to.

Spine lined with explosives, the first graze has the pleasure spark seriatim; the release of pressure you had been neck-deep in brutalises you, and you are delirious on the feel of being ripped apart without the motions. Each score burns. New layers of you are uncovered and exposed to this world and Cecilia wrenches your head down to watch. 

Mouth agape, your drool parts a translucent line over the pooling sangria. “More,” pleading for it, despite how muffled it came out. You want her to rip this chunk of you right off. You want to be between her teeth and down her throat. You want, and it’s butchering. “Deeper,” the tears come with your chest squeezing, come with the choked up moan when her digits bear down on your tongue harder. Your mistake is clear to you the moment you see the wash of those baby blues lock on you, the reverie of bringing the sky down to your prison and the vastness as you lost your mind to it has your breath hitching.

Ringing in your ears dulled to the scattering greys when Cecilia hits you, cheekbone smashing against the wall, sending the vibrations all throughout your skull. Ecstasy takes on the taste of metal. Sure enough, the savage inside of you is unsettled, is not yet satisfied.

“When have I ever let you command me?” Her knife edge twists, makes ribbons of your tissues — makes you writhe deliciously. “Do you think you have a will?”

“No.” The answer needs no contemplation, it has been ingrained in you. “‘M sorry,” your vision spots when you crane your neck, you’ve been putting more and more of your weight into the bricks, your shackles sting. “Was so good I went dumb, ‘m sorry. I won’t do it again,” you sniffle, “p-please…”

Acutely aware of the moment the surgical steel leaves you; biting your lip to suppress your whimper when the air hits. “That’s better,” and you are sure this is a punishment until Cecilia takes your face, “see, you know how to be a good girl, don’t you?”

Something hot floods your guts, you’re nodding before you even have a chance to rub your thighs together — not that you’d be allowed to. Her palm is pressing right to the laceration, she keeps you splayed apart like that, and her nails are mere millimetres away from showing you a supernova. Red tracks streak a trail all the way to your core, the fabric in contact with it is damp, is threading clear strings to a place that’s throbbing with need to be desecrated.

All your nerves fray when she sinks in, and just like that, the ability to latch onto her human caress is wasted on you. Only remembering how to stay agape, how to curl your toes and tear from your bottom lip to hold back your moans. Your walls are sopping for her, they slobber just as much as you do for the euphoria Cecilia imposes into you. Gasping her name, flashes of a world outside you no longer want to return to, legs trembling when her thumb comes up. She plays you so well, makes a mess — makes a masterpiece out of all your misery and mortality alike.

Whispering, “you were my best decision,” — and like a blessing, your undoing lays rest to you. Pink slick and pain, everything becomes sweet in this swarming black. Angels. Her laughter, a hymn. Singing. Heavencall.

[sunsetsover]

I'm asking you because I like reading your opinions, this is about kantbison before the beach ep: I've been thinking how can you love someone when you don't trust them? kant was supposedly head over heels for bison but he was very scared of him. What are your thoughts?

oh i'm so flattered to hear you like reading my opinions !! and i'm so sorry it took me so long to get to this ask !! and also i'm so grateful you sent me this meaty ass question to sink my teeth into, i'm sorry if i went off the deep end a lil but i LOVE thinking about things like this !! it opens up such a philosophical can of worms in my brain is probably not at all what you wanted or expected but i have to live my truth, i hope you understand <3

so in my view, you very much can love someone without trusting them. you can love someone without even liking them. you can love someone and treat them like shit. you can love someone and have nothing to do with them at all. this is bc, as far as i see it, love as a feeling and love as an action and love as a relationship (of any kind) are three different, separate, distinct things that don't necessarily overlap. in order to have a functional, healthy relationship all three need to be in alignment ofc, but love in and of itself as an emotion and feeling we have for someone/something can and does exist in isolation from literally everything else. it's why we can still love someone who a bad person, who treats us badly, or why we can love someone and still treat them badly. it's why we can love people who aren't there anymore, or stop loving people who are still in our lives, loving us. love the feeling and love the action aren't the same thing.

which kind of opens up into a bigger conversation about unconditional love, right? like some people believe in unconditional love and some think it's not actually possible - love always has conditions. i disagree. i think unconditional love is real, but i think people don't know how to recognise the difference between love the feeling and love the action and love as a relationship, or if they do then they don't know how to differentiate where one ends and another begins. so it becomes a whole thing of like 'well unconditional love can't exist while still having boundaries or limits' but that's not true. just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to put up with any kind of bullshit behaviour. putting in boundaries or even cutting someone out of your life completely doesn't negate love the feeling. you can love someone unconditionally and never want to see them again in your life because those are two separate things.

and that circles back to your question: how can kant love bison when he doesn't trust him? how can he love someone he's scared of? and my answer is that love the feeling exists outside of logic and sense. bc you're right - logically kant had no reason to love bison. sure bison was pretty and fun to be around and great in bed, but he's also a murderer. he's a hitman. he's violent. he's capable of things beyond comprehension. kant is very, very aware of all of that. and even more than all of that, kant knows bison is his ticket to freedom. logic dictates that you don't fall in love with the man standing between you and your - and more importantly, your baby brother's - future. kant loving bison jeapordises everything he worked so hard for. it puts his and babe's life at risk in every sense of the word. who tf is gonna fall in love with bison, knowing all of that?

but love exists outside the realm of logic. you can't reason with love. you can't sit love down and go 'no, not him, it can't be him, anyone but him'. if you could i'm sure everyone's lives would be so much easier, and our hearts would be a lot less damaged. but we can't. love does what it wants. in a lot of ways humans are completely at the mercy of love (or its lack), and i could go on a whole nother tangent about that but i'll spare you that one lmao. but my point is this: kant loved bison because he couldn't help it. he tried so, so hard not to, but you can control love about as well as you can control the sea, which is to say you can't. kant did love bison, and he did it because he had no choice. if he did, he never would have chosen bison.

BUT although love the feeling kind of exists in isolation, we as people don't. and so although kant couldn't help but fall in love with bison, he's also not an idiot. he knows it's stupid and dangerous. he knows bison isn't to be trusted. he knows exactly what bison is capable of, what he could do to him and to babe if he found out the truth. just bc your logical brain has no say in what love does, that doesn't mean it stops functioning. so yeah kant falls more in love w bison with every moment they spend together, but that doesn't stop the alarm bells ringing in his head going STOP! DANGER! ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID! kant knows he's stupid. he expresses that he's stupid for feeling the way he does about bison. but he also knows he can't help it. which is why he was so desperate (and by extension reckless) about finishing the job and getting away from bison asap. he knew what was happening, and he knew he couldn't stop it from happening unless someone or something else stopped it for him.

and so you end up with kant, falling head over heels with bison, and yet not trusting him either. kant who loves bison and is still deeply scared of him. yknow?

i hope this made sense and answered your question at least a little bit. i realise i took a bit of a detour to get to my point but i feel like in order to explain my thought process properly i had to kind of explain my philosophy on love. which is probably overkill but i hope it gave you some food for thought at least ! and thank you again for coming to me w this, it was so much fun to chew on <3

[pix-writes]

Congrats on 1000 likes!! Wondering if I could request ford with an environmental scientist!reader? Like where ford enjoys theoretical physics and maths, the reader is more focused on geology and biology? No worries if not!!

Dearest anon, you don't have to worry because this is right up my alley!!! I studied earth sciences so let's gooooooo! 😁🥳

Stanford Pines x environmental scientist!reader

Rating: SFW

A/N: Was terrible at physics but I love earth sciences so this is practically a self insert? lmao! Ford finds someone who likes to infodump as much as him about their academic interests! ^^' so sorry that the reader rambles so much. The wilderness must be explored! Hope you enjoy!

"You mean to tell me that you think you've discovered species hitherto unstudied and you didn't call me until now? Are we even friends?!"

That had been your reply on the phone. Ford chuckled, relieved that you had been available and eager to accept. He was perhaps inundated with work and whilst he didn't want to admit where he was limited in his expertise, he knew he could afford to extend his studies and offer someone else an opportunity. He was glad it was you.

You had Fiddleford to thank for your introduction, you had been in a group campaigning for environmental rights on campus, the hubub was something Ford would've generally ignored, but Fiddleford had seen some familiar faces amongst the crowd and he couldn't deny that he was curious about the cause.

He'd found out why you had seemed familiar, as you recognised them from the shared lectures you had.

"Ugh! They made us take a course in statistics, but honeslty, I'm hopeless at it! It's right at the end of the day, too, so I'm trying hard not to fall asleep, you know?"

"Um, well, I actually don't find it that bad."

"But we both agree the professor drones on something awful, right Ford?" Fiddleford gave him an encouraging nudge with his elbow.

"My god, he does!"

"S-so, um, maybe if you sat next to us, I- we could help you? We both take mathematics."

He had been nervous at first, afraid that you would reject him for his six fingered hands. Rumours had been spread across the BMU about him and so far only his roommate had been the most accepting.

But like him you hadn't noticed at first, once you did you had only picked up his hand and said -

"Woah, far out!"

When he had slipped his hand away you had actually apologised.

"Don't give a damn what the rest of them think, Ford. Anyway, I think they're cool!"

And thus your friendship had been forged. Your shared courses were brief together, but you both had a love of DD&MD and kept a campaign running through college.

His excitement for someone coming to relieve the isolation of his life in gravity falls was curtailed, slightly, once you had started pouring over his work. He had temporarily forgotten that you were nearly as scrupulous as himself.

"I can't believe that you were recording these like this! What if your work was to get lost or destroyed, hm? There is so much to do here!"

Eagerness had devolved into critique it seemed, and Ford felt like he was losing the war.

"There's nothing even here about habitats or behavioural patterns for this entry... overall, this is inconsistent, Dr Pines."

He huffed, putting his hands in his pockets. "So are you going to accept the task or just pull it apart for the rest of the week?"

You tried to suppress a grin and failed. "When can I start?!"

Ford shook his head. "Just the same as when we were in college. You take too much delight in messing with me!"

Your laugh rang out over the lab. "Gotta keep you on your toes, Stanford! Like you, I have high standards."

"You can start whenever you're ready, of course."

"Good, because I want you to show me your latest find you talked about."

"Well, I'm glad you called me, seems like there's a lot of work to do here and it's not good to lone work so remotely, Ford, you know I wish you contacted me sooner had I known you were-" You gasped as you looked down into the river and Ford spotted one of the plaidypuses he had discovered last week.

"Oh this is fascinating, Ford! I wonder how they've developed such a pattern, perhaps in the falls they are not predated on? Yeah, maybe that's it."

This sparked a conversational debate, Ford elaborating on what he had said over the phone, how he had discovered them, what else lies in the forest surrounding.

"And just look at this waterfall, a perfect example of differential erosion! Did you know that this kind of basaltic rock in Orgeon was actually formed around..."

Ford looked over to you, you had gotten up close to the edge of the waterfall, as close as you could on dry land, pointing out formations. He tried his best to add in hums of response at the right places, however, his mind had drifted as he saw how your face was highlighted by the light filtering down through the trees. The way the light breeze blew at your clothes, the sparkle in your eyes that lit up your expression as you talked about your subject.

His heart swelled with affection, he had been so lonely before, and he was kicking himself on how he hadn't thought of this sooner; it was so... energising to have someone around with a similar level of passion for their studies as he has.

"Ford, the camera! Quick!" Snapped out of his reverie he realised you had been trying to get his attention, directing him to the shore where a group of plaidypuses had arrived.

"Right!" He took a few photos, managing to get the measuring rod that you placed carefully in the foreground without startling the creatures.

A few tranquil minutes passed as you watched the group glide effortlessly in the water away from you, leaning back on the grass with your hands, legs dangling off of the ledge.

"What were you thinking about? You've got that far away look in your eye."

"Oh, er, nothing! Just an equation." Ford could feel a blush forming.

"Didn't think that'd be something you'd have trouble with."

"Really (name), just because I have a PhD in the subject doesn't mean I don't have to work at solving anything."

"Yeah, yeah, tell that to the girl still trying to get approval for her original proposal." Voice laced with sarcasm. "What're you on now, you're 8th PhD or whatever?"

"10th, actually."

"Jeez, man! Do you ever rest?" You laugh and Ford can't help but join in. "Don't worry, you can get back to your equations and scanners or... whatever else you do with physics! The river isn't far, I'll be studying their ecology for now, then we can decide on the rest."

"Sounds like a plan!"

[luv-again]

What would be the parenting styles of Shadamy?

okay, first of all, my bad for taking a bit to get round to this, i am a victim to the rapids of time </3 second, hehehe parents shadamy my beloveds !! you are right here tailoring to a specific take on shadamy that forever chews at my brain c:

shadamy parenting styles~

i personally think they're ultimately a team on a general front, they hold each other to the same standard and pull their weight equally when it comes to raising their kids (plural, because i'm dead-set on the idea that they have more than one in ideal circumstances hehe). buuut, i think there are some core discrepancies :

shadow, i feel, spends a lot of his time wrestling with those inner demons - those who bore the vaguest resemblance to parental figures skipped the 'how to NOT warp your child's mind to become a weapon of mass destruction' course. shadow would resent himself endlessly if he started exhibiting similar manipulative traits around his kids, so he monitors his behaviour and rectifies himself if he worries he might do some heinous, irreparable damage to his kid's psyche (he doesn't, and the stress damages him more than anyone else). aside from that, he teaches his kids to be polite but assertive, to show clemency but recognise the untrustworthy. he's far more lenient than one might expect. he taught his kids good judgement, he holds them accountable to use it

amy sometimes has to pick up the slack where shadow shies from, unfortunately. so she tends to be more disciplinary (and i say more, not that shadow isn't, he's just a little less likely to snap and go full authoritarian mode) and her short fuse does not work in her favour, but she fizzles out quickly and is more eager to address any issues with a heart-to-heart and come to an understanding on the behaviour that should be corrected. she teaches her kids to be kind, to share, to communicate and be honest. she wants to give her kids space for them to talk about what's on their mind without the filter that can sometimes separate parent from child. along the same track, she loves to give advice where its wanted :)

of course i have waaay more to blabber about and in more detail, as i am a verbose creature, but boiling it down, this is kind of it from me ! at least one angle of my convoluted mind lmao. thank you for the ask as always, i love getting the opportunity to yap !! <3

[forestdeath1]

you've cursed me with thoughts of sirius punishing severus for his bratty behavior <3

I mean... Yeah. He's such a brat here haha no wonder Sirius wanted to put him in his place. I mean Snape's not an idiot, he knows he's provoking Sirius, but he just keeps pushing it, almost enjoying getting under his skin and having Sirius push back. And the way he does it... Peak brat behaviour lmao

‘Oh yeah,’ said Sirius sarcastically. ‘Listening to Snape’s reports, having to take all his snide hints that he’s out there risking his life while I’m sat on my backside here having a nice comfortable time ... asking me how the cleaning’s going –’ 

***

‘Sit down, Potter.’ 

‘You know,’ said Sirius loudly, leaning back on his rear chair legs and speaking to the ceiling, ‘I think I’d prefer it if you didn’t give orders here, Snape. It’s my house, you see.’ 

‘I was supposed to see you alone, Potter,’ said Snape, the familiar sneer curling his mouth, ‘but Black –’ 

‘I’m his godfather,’ said Sirius, louder than ever. 

‘I am here on Dumbledore’s orders,’ said Snape, whose voice, by contrast, was becoming more and more quietly waspish, ‘but by all means stay, Black, I know you like to feel ... involved.’ 

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ said Sirius, letting his chair fall back on to all four legs with a loud bang. 

‘Merely that I am sure you must feel – ah – frustrated by the fact that you can do nothing useful,’ Snape laid a delicate stress on the word, ‘for the Order.’ 

***

‘Wait a moment,’ said Sirius, sitting up straighter in his chair. Snape turned back to face them, sneering. ‘I am in rather a hurry, Black. Unlike you, I do not have unlimited leisure time.’ ‘I’ll get to the point, then,’ said Sirius, standing up. <...> . ‘If I hear you’re using these Occlumency lessons to give Harry a hard time, you’ll have me to answer to.’ 

‘How touching,’ Snape sneered. ‘But surely you have noticed that Potter is very like his father?’ 

‘Yes, I have,’ said Sirius proudly. 

‘Well then, you’ll know he’s so arrogant that criticism simply bounces off him,’ Snape said sleekly. 

‘I’ve warned you, Snivellus,’ said Sirius, his face barely a foot from Snape’s, ‘I don’t care if Dumbledore thinks you’ve reformed, I know better –’ 

‘Oh, but why don’t you tell him so?’ whispered Snape. ‘Or are you afraid he might not take very seriously the advice of a man who has been hiding inside his mother’s house for six months?’ 

‘Tell me, how is Lucius Malfoy these days? I expect he’s delighted his lapdog’s working at Hogwarts, isn’t he?’ 

‘Speaking of dogs,’ said Snape softly, ‘did you know that Lucius Malfoy recognised you last time you risked a little jaunt outside? Clever idea, Black, getting yourself seen on a safe station platform ... gave you a cast-iron excuse not to leave your hidey-hole in future, didn’t it?’ 

Sirius raised his wand. 

‘Are you calling me a coward?’ roared Sirius, trying to push Harry out of the way, but Harry would not budge. 

‘Why, yes, I suppose I am,’ said Snape. 

‘Harry – get – out – of – it!’ snarled Sirius, pushing him aside with his free hand. 

[vigilskeep]

is it just me or is the justification for hawke helping meredith annul the gallows completely… non-existent? i try and try to figure out why hawke would think killing all the mages for something anders openly did himself was the right decision and i always come up blank. only a really sadistic, mage-hating hawke would be okay with it. the whole annulment is so insane and senseless to me. is it just me who thinks this, or would other fans agree?

for roleplay purposes, i think there are a few mindsets you can work with beyond hawke just being foundationally comically evil. here’s a couple suggestions off the top of my head:

they believe that an annulment will sate the templars and the common people, containing the violence to kirkwall in one bloody stroke rather than causing widespread retribution across thedas

they have fought tooth and nail for their place in kirkwall for seven years and they are ultimately not willing to sacrifice it and be a refugee again, no matter what they have to do. i think it’s interesting to consider how da2 is framed and advertised as a rise-to-power game, and the crux of siding with the mages is giving all that up, whereas you can only finish your climb to the top by siding with the templars

they believe having a voice on the “winning side” is the only way they can save themself (if a mage) or their sister (if bethany is a circle mage) from meredith’s wrath. they are unwilling to risk their lives and their friends’ lives fighting for what they see as a doomed cause

for a mage hawke, a desperate desire to believe that they can be a mage who is “different” and cut themselves off from the rest, and if they have previously supported the templars, a kind of sunk cost fallacy where what they’ve done has to be worth it

for a non-mage hawke, deep-seated bitterness that they were raised for this fight, that they are expected to die for this when magic has never done anything for them but take everything they have

i think hawke is a really difficult protagonist to play pro templar because the game places you into a position where you and your family’s existence, and that of companions you have no choice but to pick up, is inherently an act of defiance against the templars. ser wesley makes that clear from the start of the game. it’s illegal for you to exist freely, and there is never any option to do what the templars require, because it would completely end your ability to act as hawke. that’s a game limitation but there’s something to be said for that as a thematic comment, as well. persecutors can put down their weapons and go home, but the only way to escape being the enemy of people who want you dead for what you are is to stop existing. there’s a reason meredith will always turn on you no matter what, beyond just wanting everyone to have that boss fight. there’s a reason writers have talked about regretting that for orsino but not for her, and there’s a reason she’s (iirc? lmao) always the climactic fight and ultimate enemy that comes last, whoever you side with

there’s no morally justifiable reason for anyone to annul a circle, full stop. it’s incredibly evil, inarguably. but real people do evil things. obviously exploring a character like that is not for everyone as a game experience, but as a thought exercise i do think it’s worth recognising that people who enact atrocities aren’t somehow magically inherently soulless. populations who collectively commit the worst evils that humanity has ever seen don’t just, like, happen to have a higher concentration of evil than everyone else in a world. it’s a human behaviour we see committed constantly by people born as ordinary as you and me. and i do think that’s something we should be aware of, rather than falling into the trap of believing there’s something that, uh, inherently separates us from those people, because then we risk complacency and blindness, right, and thinking something must be fine because our people and our leaders would never do something like that. that got a little off track and philosophical. food for thought! it’s not like every templar who takes part in the annulment is somehow inhuman, is my point, and the fact that they follow those orders is really very human, if you compare them to, you know, any military force now or in history. it’s what happens. (as is resistance and compassion, before we get too bleak.) hawke is human, too, and even when presented with only one morally acceptable choice, may not always make it

uhh my point is i do think it can be done without hawke just being an irrational villain caricature who kills for fun, and it’s an rpg literally made for you to have those options, but it requires effort and creativity and grappling with what’s involved a bit. there’s a reason players overwhelmingly support the mages it’s not a surprising response to that choice at all

[seriousbrat]

Canon Lily does not have any character flaws though. We can argure it is because she was never fleshed-out character on her own in the books but neither was James and we got to see his good and bad qualities.

I disagree, I think we do see flaws in Lily even though they're fairly minor, as flaws go. (And Lily is more of a minor character than James imo.) Anyway, a character flaw doesn't have to be some HUGE abjectly terrible trait or behaviour like Sev or James might have. Most humans don't have some kind of obvious massive drawback to them lmao, most people are normal and their flaws/bad qualities are a bit more subtle than 'literally being a bully' and 'literally joining a fascist group.' When I say I think all characters should have flaws I don't mean they should all secretly be assholes or evil haha. There are ways to write realistic characters who are also good and kind people.

I have a post here about what I think Lily's flaws are. But I'll also add that the flaws she's shown to have in canon are the basis for the reasons people consider her to be selfish, judgmental, a bad friend, two-faced etc. It's realistic for everyone to have moments or parts of them that are selfish or judgmental, and it's realistic for people, especially teenagers, to be imperfect friends at times. The thing is that instead of people interpreting these flaws as fairly understandable and normal in a teenage girl, they jump to the worst possible conclusions and inflate them to a ridiculous degree, with a side of blaming her for everything the men in her life did.

If Lily wasn't shown to have those flaws, people wouldn't be able to jump to them in order to villainise her. It's so weird with Lily, either people believe she's a horrible irredeemable she-devil or else she's a way too annoyingly perfect mary sue virgin mother and badly written etc. It can't be both lol. Lily has a specific role in the story because it's told through Harry's perspective. Is it that weird for an orphaned boy to idealise his dead mother? No. It's not even that weird for a non-orphaned boy to idealise his alive mother. Personally when I read Lily's scenes in DH it doesn't feel to me that she was written as perfect, she just seems like a pretty normal, if notably kind young girl with normal reactions to things.

Her reading Petunia's letter from Dumbledore and using it as ammo in an argument seems realistic. Her telling Snape that he's being ungrateful because James saved his life seems realistic. Her blowing up at James during SWM seems realistic. Her remaining friends with Snape despite his actions, and falling for James despite his, seems realistic.

Is Lily the most developed character in HP? No, of course not, but that doesn't make her that criminally underdeveloped for her purpose in the narrative imo. She's literally dead for the entire story, why would she be as developed as someone like Hermione? It's true that because of her importance to the central mystery, we don't see much of her until the end. Yes that's a shame for fans of Lily, though I also think it works well for the reader (and Harry) to realise that Lily has more importance than we'd realised. Harry identifies with James because he's a boy, it's James he goes to follow in SWM, and the logical conclusion that his mother would also be there (he even sees her and just doesnt recognise her) doesn't even occur to him until she enters the narrative herself. Even then, she's an afterthought to the way Harry's feelings about James are bound up in his own identity.

It's meant to be that way, it's realistic for it to be that way, it's good foreshadowing for the way Lily later enters the narrative in an unexpected way, but anyway, I think even what we are given about Lily is enough to construct at least a rough outline of her character if you care to.

Nobody ever complains about characters like Grindelwald or Regulus being underdeveloped lol, because they're not actually present in the story, nor are they supposed to be, despite being important to other characters. I think there's some confusion since Lily is an important character in Marauders' era, but pls let's remember that all of this stuff that we talk about on here is just background to the main story of Harry Potter. Obviously there's characters who are going to be underdeveloped if you just take them as characters on their own, and yes, since I like Lily I wish we'd seen more of her, but also it makes sense that we didn't see that much because the story isn't about the Marauders' era lol.

Personally I think people judge Lily too harshly as a character. It's not that I think everyone has to like Lily at all, but I do find the standards she's commonly held to a bit ridiculous since they're never even remotely applied to male characters. If you're only interested in angsty dark mean men that's fine, if you're only interested in the characters that have more of a presence in the narrative that's understandable, but personally I don't think there's anything wrong with the mere existence of a female character who is a good and pleasant person haha

[quitefair]

Dragon Age Lore Breakdown: Gereon Alexius

Started working on my accursed DA fic again, and the research rabbit hole led me down the In Hushed Whispers path. And I found out a bunch of things about this dude that I realised I never knew before.

Anyway, ramble under the cut.

Before he became a Magister, Gereon Alexius was first and foremost, a researcher of magic. One that was trying to push the boundaries of what magic could do, particularly in the field of ‘traveling through and controlling both time and physical space’.

His research partner (and eventual wife) was Livia Arida, a researcher who focused specifically on the Veil.

Gereon’s father, Magister Alexius, was your typical Tevinter upper class dude – focused on power and bloodlines and image. House Alexius wished Gereon focused less on the theoretical and more on magic with practical uses.

Gereon's father thus gave up his post as Magister to his nerdy ass son in the hopes that he would become more invested in politics like he himself was.

Instead, Magister Gereon used his position to ‘became a tireless champion of education, criticizing his peers for pouring the Imperium's funds into the war with the Qunari at the expense of the Circle and demanding better schooling and institutions of higher learning for the Soporati.'

His codex entry is more telling of his backstory and character than anything he's displayed in game lmao.

He continued his research in a diminished capacity, and subsequently married his long-time sweetheart and research partner Livia Arida. He also took a position as professor of thaumaturgy at the Minrathous Circle.

[They use the word ‘thamaturgy’ here very liberally, and I’ve not seen this anywhere else in my Dragon Age research. We all know the DND connotations, but I would like to take the meaning of the term as ‘boundary breaking magical research’, since that’s what Gereon is known for. Like idk the Thedosian equivalent of fringe science.]

[[This also assumes a scientific hierarchy within the study of magic within Imperium society, which I doubt they will explore in DA4, but gods that would be so fucking fascinating.]]

Anyway, Gereon and Livia had a son, Felix. Despite both his parents being mages, and particularly gifted ones at that, Felix was a very weak mage, one that could only cast very simple spells and with great effort.

Gereon’s father saw Felix as a weak link, described him as ‘just barely more than a Soporati’. Because of this, he tried to have Felix assassinated. Typical Magister behaviour.

Livia, being absolutely… livid (yeah I went there lmao), intercepted the assassin, and in turn, fucking had Gereon’s father assassinated instead. This ensured Felix's safety and secured Gereon as head of House Alexius.

Anyway, if it wasn’t clear how much Livia and Gereon loved Felix, you should know by now. Since he couldn't learn much magic, they brought in tutors from all fields – history, art, music, literature, etc, ensuring that anything the boy could study was offered to him on a silver platter.

And although Felix wasn’t a powerful mage, he seemed to have inherited his parents’ analytical minds, and therefore was a gifted mathematician. Recognising this, his parents sent him to study at the University of Orlais.

In the meantime, both Gereon and Livia continued their boundary breaking research. At this point, they decided to take on assistants and apprentices, since they could not involve their son in their research.

While Livia took on ‘half dozen of the most promising young students of the Fade and the Veil throughout the Imperium’, Gereon chose only one apprentice.

You know who it was.

So they continued their research – with Gereon and Dorian focusing on breaking the boundaries of magic itself, while Livia and her apprentices sought to determine the effects of such magic on the Veil. Kind of like an unstoppable force vs immovable object situation.

[There's also what I can only assume is an artist's rendition of their notes in The World of Thedas 2, which is... well.]

[The description included: Careful study is paid to the eyes of the nug. Based on the drawings and a limited deciphering of the text, the author seems all but obsessed with understanding what animals see and how this might differ from our own perception of reality.]

[[Edit: apparently the images above aren't from Gereon's notes, but from a book called Grim Anatomy. Dissecting this book is a whole nother post so we'll leave it at that.]]

They were apparently super close to a breakthrough. But we can’t have nice things in Thedas, can’t we?

In 9:38 Dragon, Gereon and Livia travelled to Orlais to visit Felix. As the family travelled back to Minrathous (or Hossberg - Dragon Age is never consistent with the lore), they were attacked by hurlocks. For some reason, Gereon wasn’t with his wife and son when this happened.

Livia is killed and Felix is tainted.

Gereon is obviously filled with survivors guilt, the grief of losing his wife, and the fear of now losing his son to the taint. He stopped caring for anything other than his son’s health, and this affected his relationship with his research, and by extension, Dorian.

This led to an argument over how distant and strange Gereon was becoming, and eventually Dorian parted ways with Gereon.

In the gap between this and the events of Inquisition, Gereon is now part of the Venatori. It can be assumed that the reason he joined was because of promises made that the Elder One can save Felix from death.

[We can probably extrapolate that Gereon somehow understands that Corypheus is a darkspawn, and so that adds to the weight of his belief that Corypheus can cure Felix.]

It is this time and space bending research that is the foundation of In Hushed Whispers.

Once Gereon is defeated, you can judge him in Skyhold. If you decide to take him in as an agent, he can continue his research for the Inquisition. (Though canonically all it yields is this amulet. Which isn't even unique, you can get it in random loot drops anywhere. Sad.)

[cakeleighh]

IMPORTANT; THIS OWL IS CAPTIVE BRED, AND IS IN A CENTRE THAT FLIES THEIR BIRDS OF PREY DAILY. THEY ARE NOT PETS, AND SHOULD NEVER BE SEEN AS PETS! (Doesn’t mean they can’t be cute, tho!)

Anyway, I’ve never truly posted about the birds I work with (for reasons I’ll state in text under the video), but I caved and wanted to share this video of Chudley the Chaco owl I got today. I think he wants me to get a haircut lol.

I love him, he’s amazing. In this video, he is showing some preening behaviours, but he’s also being playful. That grabby motions is exactly what he was doing to the rocks a bit earlier. (And it’ll be explained a little later, but he showed no signs of distress when doing this, so I knew he was just playing around)

But please know it’s really hard for me to actually share this video. Not because of personal reasons or anything, but because it is so easy to give the wrong idea on social media. And the fear of spreading misinformation keeps me up at night.

And so, for the next few paragraphs I’m going to explain somethings, to give context and educate people who may not be aware. Just like I would with the public normally.

It’ll be rambly, like always, and I honestly don’t expect people to read all of it. But it would mean the world to me if you stayed and listened to my animal facts.

Fun fact;

Owls are blind close up! Their eyes are fixed in their sockets, and they’re long and oval. Meaning they cannot move in their head, and therefore cannot focus on anything right infront of their beak. You can actually try this yourself by focusing on something in the distance, but then putting your finger infront of you. Owls cannot go cross eyed to focus on the object infront of them, and therefore it remains extremely blurry to them.

This is why they nibble at people hands to see if they have food. It’s not aggression, and they’re much gentler than any budgie I’ve been bitten by, lol.

Another fun fact;

Because owl’s eyes are fixed in their sockets, they bob their head to find depth. This is why you might see owls doing that little dance-thing where they’re moving their head in a circular motion. It does look very funny, I can’t deny. But ultimately it’s because they’re trying to look at something specific.

This is why I knew EXACTLY what Chudley was about to do when he started bobbing his head at my ear lmao.

Another fun fact;

That growling sound you hear from Chudley is a “FEED ME!” Call! (But do not be deceived, I had literally just fed him before I took the video) And you may be able to hear other ‘feed me’ calls too! I’ll try to list a few, so you can pick out a few from the audio.

Low growling screech; Chudley! The Chaco owl.

High pitched screech; any of the barn owls!

The boisterous squawk; The European eagle owls.

The whisspy “fwu -fwu” (I am trying my hardest, I am so sorry); the Great Grey owl.

The Beep-Beep; was a vehicle reversing, lmao.

And at some point there was a squark of a pheasant?? I can promise you now, he’s not part of our facility -just a VERY overconfident wanderer.

There might be a few others about, but the owls mentioned are the closest to where I shot the vid.

ANYWAY! That’s their ‘feed me’ calls, like I mentioned. Captive birds of prey tend to keep their baby calls because they’ve never hunted food themselves, and therefore have never grown out of calling for food.

But that’s not the only sounds they produce, and it’s important for a handler to recognise some of the most pressing vocalisations. It’s harder to tell with other birds, but with owls, they have a loud, distinctive click as a threat. And also a very distinctive hiss to show displeasure and uncertainty.

If they are worried about something (whether that’s a possible predator in the sky (the dreaded hand-gliders), or something as simple as a new perch they’ve never seen), they might hiss and click at it. It’s very clear and easy to catch, and it’s important to figure out whether it would be better to put the bird back into its aviary, or if it’s better to let the owl sit and watch the threat until it realises it’s not in danger.

However, it’s not as serious if the bird JUST hisses (once). I say this, because I’ve had it before where we were at an education talk inside, and I was flying the birds over the audience while my boss talked on stage. And at one point I had the African Spotted Eagle-owl on one of the perches, and a little kid ran up under the perch. Now I’m very good at asking the public to not stand under the perches (for kids I use the excuse “it’s the poop area, and you don’t want to get covered in that”, but for adults I tell them the truth; that it makes the bird uncomfortable if you’re directly under them), but this child ran up out of no where, right under the bird. Ozzy (the African spotted), looked down for a second and gave one distinctive hiss. And that was enough to get me to know all I needed. So I put my glove up, he hopped on immediately (he’d take any excuse not to fly, I swear 😂), and I walked him to the other perch. Of course I did inform the kid that they shouldn’t stand under the perch, but they didn’t move, and so I just didn’t fly him to that perch.

All of that is to show, a hiss like that is your sign they’re worried about something. However, if he would’ve clicked at the kid, I would’ve grabbed him by the legs (safest way to grab a bird of prey, both for you and the bird), and whisked him off back to his blackout box to let him calm down. Of course it’s about the safety of the public, but also the longer a bird is in a situation where they feel like they’re in danger, the more likely they’ll end up traumatised.

Luckily, the team we have for educational talks are an absolutely amazing bunch. That’s the only time I’ve heard Ozzy hiss at an event, but even after it had happened, he continued flying to the other perch without a problem.

A very important fact -actually the reason I was so wary uploading a video like this;

BIRDS OF PREY DON’T NORMALLY LIKE BEING TOUCHED! It’s a shocker, I know. We all want to believe that every animal on earth wants to be pet, but the harsh truth is that that’s not the case. Especially when it comes to wild animals.

See, birds of prey aren’t normally social animals (there are a few exceptions), and so they are not very tactile. Any touch tends to be intrusive, and uncomfortable.

However, there are some important exceptions that can make all the difference. 1) most bird of prey owners actually have to desensitise their birds to touch. This is extremely important to make sure they’re not stressed when handling them for putting on equipment/handling them if they’re injured etc. it’s to make sure that the bird knows for a fact that you’re not going to kill them when you restrain them. It makes their life a lot easier in the long run. However, that doesn’t mean they like being touched, just that they know they’re safe if they are touched.

And 2) you will find a one in a million bird who actually does like being touched. But I cannot stress enough how rare that is. Of course you can try and nurture that temperament with every bird, but it’s never a guarantee. For example, the only bird we have that likes being pet by anyone -even strangers- is a barn owl called Pip. We have no idea if his previous owner trained him like this, all we know is that he’d rather sit on the glove and have pets, rather than fly and exercise 😂

Another thing to note, is that it’s much more likely that a bird is okay with their main handler touching them, compared to a random person from the public. It’s understandable, especially considering how they aren’t naturally tactile. This is why you may see handlers able to touch and mess with birds, but then the public can’t. It’s not personal. It’s just boundaries.

Connecting this fact with the video, Chudley is still young (coming up on about two months, I think?), so our training is a lot of desensitising, along with many many many treats. He’s doing great so far! And I hope he turns out like Pip, because it’s such a rare experience to feel the softness which is owl feathers. But ultimately, he might not, and that’s completely fine.

So, saying all of this, when it comes to the falconry I work at we have a rule about touching birds, that we tell the public. Because the birds fly free, back and forth from glove to perch, they’re not tethered at ALL. And so we say “you can try and stroke the birds, but they might just hop off the glove and fly to the other perch.” And you know what? Nine times out of ten the bird hops off the glove. The birds have the freedom to choose, and so I’ve NEVER seen the bird display an aggressive behaviour towards the public touching them. Because instead lashing out with their talons, or clicking and hissing -they simply remove themselves from the situation, and carry on with the flying like there’s no problem. It’s also a great way for the public to understand the self-imposed boundaries of these birds, and why it’s important to let the bird have the choice.

(But of course there’s Pip, who just sits there and wants to be cuddled, rather than flying. Everyone wants to take him home at the end of the day, and I can’t blame them 😭)

So why does this fact scare me the most when it comes to posting videos?

Because almost every single owl post I see, they are tethered, and being stroked into submission for a cutesy lil video or montage. It’s honestly some of the most depressing videos I have seen. Of course this isn’t anything new, when Harry Potter released, there was a serious problem with people buying owls as “pets” -and even now in the falconry world there are still many rescue owls that are too aggressive and unable to be handled because of this phenomenon.

But of course I never blame the public for not knowing. How are you meant to know that birds of prey don’t like being touched? How are you meant to know that these outfits never fly their birds, and pass them around from glove to glove to only be stroked? You’re not born with that knowledge, and if you’re never told; there is no way of you knowing.

Every single person who comes to the falconry I work at is informed about this problem, and that’s honestly the best we can do in the position we’re in.

But what if my video is taken out of context? What if someone didn’t read all this intimidating text, and just got the idea that “owl = cute”? I put up an obvious note saying owls aren’t pets, and I even felt so obligated to mention it in the actual video. But even then, I am not in control of the way it’s perceived.

So what can I do then? It’s simple. I just don’t post the video.

I have so much love for these animals, and all I want is to scream at the top of my lungs every single thing that makes them great. But I am constantly second guessing myself with whether I should post the videos or not. Because I am so frightened of it being misinterpreted, and therefore reinforcing the already terrible understanding of birds of prey. I have hundreds of photos and videos, just of the animals I love. But this is the first time I’m properly posting one.

And simply the reason is; I wanted to write this to go with the video. Because maybe I’m too pessimistic when it comes to this -and actually people would benefit more if there were more videos actually explaining what these animals are like.

Of course I’m still scared. But if you’re reading this, then you’ve proven the fact that you care enough to consider what was happening in the video, and not just taking it out of context. And that’s all I ask.

ANYWAY! If you did manage to make it through that, I cannot express just how much I’m grateful for your time. I hope you’ve learned a bit more than you had known a few minutes ago, and I hope you continue learning! I know I have so far to go, too!

[lemonhemlock]

I saw a comment that really hit the nail on the head regarding a lot of the fandom in both ASOIAF/HOTD spaces. Basically, this comment said that a lot of Dany/Rhaenyra/Targ stans don't understand that targ women can both be oppressed and also oppressors. They literally view Westeros in this lens that the Worst Thing That Can Ever Happen to someone is misogyny, and yes GRRM's ahistorical levels of misogyny imbued in his work don't help here, and that nothing else can come close lol. They don't really get class dynamics, lesser nobles, etc. When you're the crown princess of the realm you have immense power, but also responsibility which, yes, includes not openly cuckolding your spouse and having obvious bastards you try to put into the succession lol. They very much think that every targ women could do whatever she wanted with her immensely privileged and pampered position as a royal and if anyone says anything, well, it's misogyny. It's a deeply unannounced, ahistorical way to look at this series.

Your comment in one of your other anons where you said 'are you really sexually liberated if you are causing pain to others in your vicinity' was funny to me because targ stans unironically would say 'yes.' They are stuck in this modern sensibility that romantic/sexual freedom is the number one civil liberty and anything a character does in pursuit of it is fine, even at the expense of others, and if anything bad happens as a result, well that's just the Patriarchy's fault. It's a fundamental difference in thinking that I don't think can ever be bridged because they are incapable of not projecting modern values. They truly believe that targ women can be privileged, pampered, politically and socially powerful, yet not be beholden to any of the traditions, duties, or responsibilities even with the most, like, basic decorum expected of royal and any calling out of this behavior is just misogyny lmao.

It's just so stupid lmao. Imagine if people had said that Queen Elizabeth II, one of the most rich, powerful, and privileged women in the world for literal decades was 'oppressed' because she couldn't have obvious affairs or take official mistresses or boytoys and have bastard children like her male forefathers did and blame that on misogyny lmao. It's literally the same thought process but these people cannot put two and two together if their lives depended on it.

^^^^ you did it, anon. you condensed targ stans to their essence 😅

some of them act as if being monarch should mean doing exactly what you want at all times and any kind of suggestion that immense privilege comes at the price of great responsibility automatically translates to misogyny. god forbid we put some restriction on "absolute power" and make it less absolute.

also in regards to sexual freedom and their inability to imagine a life without it. you live in the 21st century!! not only that you have recognised rights enshrined by law, but you also have modern medicine!! you have antibiotics, contraceptives, safe abortion, emergency services, surgeons, you can book an appointment with a doctor if you're feeling unwell etc. look me in the eye and tell me that if all of those were taken away overnight you'd continue to be your sexually liberated self and risk dying painfully of an STD in the name of love.

of course there are religious and sexist dimensions to restricting women's sexuality, there is no point in pretending otherwise, but who would really want their spouse to risk infecting them with whatnot in the name of sexual freedom? it's equally unhelpful in pretending there's not an aspect of public health in encouraging behaviours like chastity, monogamy and being faithful to your spouse.

again, this is not to say that it was all good and proper to be like that and what a time of pure morals we left behind in the olden days. it's to say that those times truly sucked for a lot of people, sometimes because of reasons they had no control over, and that they often had to choose between options that all sucked in some way

[yvilonion]

this is probably a jarring segue from whatever it is that anon wasted their energy on (hope they get help irl and break free from what they were taught because that hatred is concerning on a medical level)

for safety (and legal lol) purposes I can't say what i do for work irl ofc, but it involves a lot with me learning about/recognising people's handwriting and patterns in their writing behaviour, and idk why but being able to read what you write makes me so happy lmao. also it took me an embarrassingly long time to realise sylus was holding a tiny stethoscope, and that's why the blobbu is upset lmao

also, thank you for the guide on sylus's hair! somehow anatomy is much more easier to draw compared to their hairstyles ;_;

omg what does my writing say about me... 😳

and ur welcome :) im glad it was helpful! and yes their hairstyles are monstrous it defies all logic of hair law

[petrichoraline]

they should have left august have genuine feelings for day imo like we already saw him kinda disappointed it was not a date with mork... the whole kiss thing felt so wrong they did day (and august too tbh) dirty

to start off, thank you for indulging me with a ltts message 🥰 also I hope this isn't too long, i havent had the time to seriously think about this episode so this is my chance 💓

throughout the episode I began wondering if august was a legitimate contender and the thought bothered me for a few reasons: i had been under the impression the plot isn't really about that; that there would be no space to fit in a love triangle of this size if other conflicts were to be explored and resolved. basically that mork and day would have enough on their plate without august in the picture and focusing on those two would only slow down the development of the main couple. I did find the thought of august's intentions being serious intriguing though, a bit frustrating, yes, but also interesting.

now, I had a bit of trouble understanding your point but im guessing you mean we already saw that day was disappointed the party wasn't a date so we're aware of his feelings and they are not aimed at august anymore? so it wouldn't have been an issue if august just continued liking day because day doesn't like him that way anymore, right? because I get that, it wouldn't have been the first time that's happened on screen haha but also that's exactly why I'm not that fond of the idea. day and august having a mutual crush and that going for a few episodes? THAT I find intriguing, an actual relationship trying to figure itself out while it's doomed by the narrative because it isn't the main romance.

but august having actual romantic feelings for day and stepping aside (because the show wants this couple dealt with by the end of the first half, apparently, and it would have cut him off somehow) would be something both sad and also, in my humble opinion, redundant. I've seen it before, it's just a bummer for everyone involved and I don't need it here.

what the plot actually did was very nice, as weird as it sounds. it gave us a character who loves his mate a lot. I do not doubt that august has strong feelings for day. everyone is pissed at him at the moment, day is hurt because there was pity, mork is angry because there was lack of consideration but that boy cares for day, a lot. i suppose there are feelings of guilt, they were on the court together when day lost his vision and then he didn't contact august for over a year. august probably felt some sort if personal responsibility for day's condition or for his behaviour towards him while they were partners, for the fact day felt he couldn't tell him the truth. so there is guilt and there is pity but also there is affection for a friend, for a partner, for the person alongside which you aimed for your dreams. they have a bond (and im sure people have expressed a lot about their sync and dynamic that I haven't picked up on but a bond is undeniable).

august tried to be a better person, a warm one, someone day doesn't recognise. he tried to be everything he wasn't before because thats what he decided day wants and needs. the night at the bar he was already feeling bad about leaving day to hang. on a side note, while the episode was airing i ran to check whether the cast was there that night and if it was on the same arm. it was. august didnt lie and im paranoid lmao anyways

the scene was crushing for mork and us, sure, but it was also very hard for august. he had had an accident, he couldn't contact day and still went as soon as he could after midnight. when he heard the confession he ran which honestly felt like an appropriate reaction - indicating he was there would make day embarrassed and pretending to come in later also wouldn't work because his partner who recently came back into his life with shocking news after ghosting him for a year suddenly confessed he's in love with him. while he's exhausted and hurt. of course the kid needed time to process what the fuck is going on! and he came back the very next morning, ready to make things right.

the issue stems from the fact he had no clue what right is, his underdeveloped brain told him to be a better friend than before but it went too far off in the direction of that thought and landed at "be what he wants you to be to a T" which includes, well, a romantic interest. and that's just not something you can force but alas, earnest, stupid august tried to check off everything on the "make day happy" list.

that boy ran off crying (I would too if mork glared at me like a maddog but still) because he kissed and got kissed by someone he didn't want such contact with ( the reciprocated kiss was A Lot for him) and then realised he'd hurt the person he wanted to satisfy in every way. his words indicate he didn't intend the kiss to be just one, that he wanted to actively change the way he feels about day, that he considered being his boyfriend. I figure he truly realised that was not an option while the kiss was happening hence why the second one had him running away again.

we know august is impulsive and earnest, his intentions were coming from a good place but he couldn't plan to save his life. he acts with his heart and so he was relying on falling for day till the end with no backup plan. it's either that or he knew before the kiss and intended it to be a single gift and I can't tell which is worse. in any case he was aware of the big possibility him and days weren't going to work out so his actions were majorly irresponsible.

the kiss had me screaming NOO literally and then the second one nearly had me gripping my hair, idek what sounds I made from the beginning till the end of that scene but "felt wrong" is something I can understand though it didd feel wrong but maybe not in the way you mean?

i didn't know nor suspect august's intentions and thought process so the kiss felt real to me and though I was against it as an avid morkday shipper, I didn't think that narratively it was bad. day was done dirty a 100% (though he gets mork acting on his feelings finally so..glass half full..?). let's not forget that mork actively supported day's perception of the situation as flirting - not his fault, that's what august was doing after all - but it's something that made the fall that much worse. day was getting hyped up by mork the way he was by gee ABOUT mork before that. he gets affected by his friends' opinions because he relies on them to read the other's body language and intentions. so there is this feeling of helplessness not only because of the pity that guided august's actions but the fact he couldn't assess the situation himself. so yes, for this and many other reasons, day was done dirty by every definition of the phrase.

but as for august and the plot I'm not so sure. august as a character is, to me, much more interesting as this confused and, frankly, unintelligent young man whose heart seems to be in the right place..? but whose actions are totally misguided than if he were, let's say, a good guy finally acting on his crush after years. I suppose he could've stopped before the kiss and told day the truth and maybe day would be a bit disappointed but definitely more forgiving and less heartbroken..

but then how would we see that day can help mork tame his anger with just a touch of the hand? and we needed an act so grotesque that would lead them to have a conversation that makes mork want to scream "I do not pity you, I haven't pitied you for a second, you are so strong and smart and loveable, i love you, how could you ever focus on a nobody like him when you are everything, you deserve so much more, how could you not know that, why did i ever let him near you, i should have never allowed for this to happen, i love you so much god I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU" (yes thats what those eyes at the rooftop said, idk what yall heard.)

i believe the charm of this scene and this whole conflict is that no one there is acting out of malice. it's just people doing what they think is right. mork stepping aside was not the right move technically but it fits his character and the plot as well. imo august wasn't done dirty, he was made interesting and also he isn't a bad guy. he did some really harmful shit but by the end of the scene i didn't feel an ounce of malice from him. there could still be love between the two but one that's not based around day walking on eggshells and one that doesn't rely on august to be something he is not. when they arent forced by the outside to be in close proximity and make things work, when they can just tease each other comfortably without taking all of the other's happiness and well-being as their own responsibility, thats when they could have a nice casual friendship with a lot of appreciation for the other. i believe him and day would reconcile at some point in the future when day is ready to forgive and august is ready to stop running.

[honestlyvan]

id be really interested to see you talk about the dynamic btwn Haseo and Ovan + how it changes over time, love ur dothack thoughts so far

(Now on DW!)

I had to take a vigorous walk around the block and a shower before I could sit down to write this, lmao.

God, nonny, they are So Much. An unbelievable amount, even.

To step back from the mythical framing for a little bit and to just look at them as people, one of the things that makes me bark like a dog the worst is how all of the Epitaph are all circling and struggling with the similar kinds of of identity issues -- presumably being the reason the Epitaphs attached themselves to them, there's no room in the mind of people who are too secure in who they are to carry the duties of a Phase with them.

Each of the Epitaphs represent the temptation to fall into a variety of self-protective but futile failure modes that let you define yourself on your own terms but ultimately limit growth, and while I have thoughts about all of the Epitaph users and how they interact with each other, I definitely think Haseo and Ovan get the version of it that is the most brutal in its compatibility.

For Haseo, Skeith represents a temptation to do as thou wilst, to eschew a communal and social identity in favour of only exclusively defining himself -- which is, incidentally, how Ovan comes across initially. You could not find a guy who moves through the world with more assurance and less need to explain himself. Ovan appears to have a kind of singularity of identity that nobody else can get a word in edgewise -- and Haseo, who spends a lot of time feeling off and unsure and wordlessly anxious about having lost sight of who he is, that's like the holy grail.

Of course, the reason Ovan is so singular in his identity is because his sense of self is practically transparent and he exists almost exclusively as the life-support system for a machine that makes Aina happy. From the start, there's no way for Ovan to recognise Haseo the way he wants to be recognised because Ovan barely knows who he is, let alone what Haseo sees in him that is so admirable because Ovan is just reflecting back the thing Haseo wants to see in himself.

Because in contrast to the fundamental mistake in Haseo's thinking, Ovan is very clear-eyed about what Haseo is like. That's one of the core paradoxes of his character, he's very good at reading other people and completely oblivious to how they read him back. He's great at anticipating and manipulating people's behaviour, but is critically disconnected about how he should feel about the way other people feel about him. Haseo needs to see him as something to chase and grow into? Okay, if that's what he needs to be, it's as simple as that. The terms of their relationship are set forever now.

So, in a way, as much as Ovan's plan relies on Haseo growing as a person, as much as he frames it in those terms, what he actually needs is for Haseo to stay exactly the same. Stay exactly on the terms that Ovan needs him to stay on for his plan to succeed. Ovan can never let Haseo reach him because that would change the terms of their relationship, and make him truly unmanageable.

Which, really, is just how Ovan deals with everything in his life. He keeps it all at a distance, because he doesn't really have a sense of self to let people close to, except in the sense that he knows everything that has happened to cause this situation has been done by him, and that the only way to set it right is to find a way to cross himself out again. And if he has to let Haseo catch up to him, it's explicitly so Haseo can be his executioner, and help him rectify the mistake of existing in the world in the first place. Corbenik, the meaning of life and death, can only exist in the void.

And tbh, if Ovan's plans had actually worked out on the timetable he intended them to work out on, I think Haseo may have been fulfilled by that. From the start, he sees himself as the aspirant to Ovan's paragon, wants to reach him through his own effort, to exist in the world the same way he thinks Ovan does.

However, the rest of Haseo's arc is learning that none of us exist in the world alone. That we are defined by the experiences we have with other people. If he reaches Ovan and Ovan is no longer there, what does it still matter to have reached him?

[kal-theravenquing]

i really hate trying to google things related to my intrusive thoughts but i want to try and understand why i think the things i think, but a lot of the time the results i get are unrelated or i get helplines suggested or i end up being triggered by something

it fucking sucks man

i dont want these thoughts, i dont want to deal with this - im very good at stopping myself from following through and at talking myself down when they get bad, i can recognise when they're getting too much for me and have ways to calm down without help

i just want answers as to why its happening so i can better prepare myself for when it happens and adjust my methods for safely resolving my intrusive thoughts in a more productive manner

i just want to know if my occasional sudden urge to drink is just my intrusive thoughts or if its something more, you know???

i have a family history of alcoholism and almost fell deep into a steady pattern of alcohol abuse myself when i was in college before i realised what i was doing and immediately stopped myself before it became a proper problem

are these urges to drink a symptom of a more serious underlying problem or is it just my brain being a piece of shit to me for no fucking reason

i know intrusive thoughts and alcoholism can go hand in hand, my main concern is am I handling these thoughgs correctly or am i setting myself up for hell down the road?

i haven't drank in months, last i drank was cider at Christmas and i had maybe 2 small cans and that was after having nothing for a whole year

and when i did drink in college it wasn't like i was binge drinking, i had a small sip of whisky maybe twice a day whenever i had to go into college and only on those days

that was more than enough as it was, honestly - it can start with just one sip to manage a headache, then its 2 then its 5 then you lose count

the moment i realised i was starting to try and justify drinking when it really couldn't be justified, and that i was falling into a pattern of harmful behaviour that would only worsen if i continued to ignore it, i immediately got rid of the last of my whisky and have never touched a drop since

i know not everyone can do that, I was incredibly lucky that i realised what i was doing before i couldn't stop myself

but now im worried that i had already done irreparable damage by that point

had i? or is it just my intrusive thoughts making me feel like i need alcohol so everything will be okay?? this bothers me a lot

i wont drink, i can't really rn anyway with the current state of my diabetes, but the urges are getting more and more frequent it feels like

and i am so fucking tired

anything that helps me shut up the urges would help a lot, even if it's just knowledge of what is causing them to start with

if i know what the problem is i can work on a solution

problem is, i dont know what the fucking problem is

the stress this causes does not help suppress the intrusive thoughts, as you can probably imagine, and only makes drinking sound all the more appealing.... the fucking joys

for the record, i am safe and sound tonight im just angry

angry and tired and angry at being tired and tired of being angry and maybe im also feeling a little bit robbed

but I'll be okay, just needed to voice this Bullshit somewhere

the ravens know i cant say any of this to my family lmao

fr tho, any info or advice is appreciated guys 💕

[iloveolderman0]

Wow. This is the same anon who requested yan!Sweet Tooth. To be honest, I didn’t expect my request to be responded to SO quickly lmao. I want to give you a little idea.

How about taking the original concept of Twisted Metal, yandere and a bit of Mad Max (without the slasher house) and making a uh… bloody mess? Hah okay, look, here is a reader (choose your gender yourself, I don’t care) and Sweets, who has devoted his entire new life to searching for a reader and finds her (no matter where in the races, a vacant lot or something else), and then the confrontation begins? Guns, battle and finally he grabs her, and then you can figure it out yourself, whether there will be hardcore, torture, etc. or puppy tenderness lmao.

In general, I gave the idea, take it if you want, but do it your way. Contact me, if you need more, I’ll give you more ideas

Oh my gosh!!! I love mad max and I think I have a lot to plan for this one 😏 I actually want to probably make the read like who’s has a couple of mates in this story to make it interesting if you know what I mean 😋

Anyways!

Thank you for sending in your request! If you have anymore ideas or questions just send them through!

Theme : Madmax x Twisted metal

( it sounds so cool not gonna lie )

Twisted metal Yandere!Sweet tooth x Fem! Reader

Pronouns : She / Her

!Warnings ! : Fighting, blood, mentions of glore, Yandere behaviour, Explosions and more!

- Y/N and her mates were well know since she has been through fights and wars between groups of other well known people

- She was a complete badass with her mates and no one stood a chance with them

- Until Y/N’s mates and herself decided to have a break and talk while sitting down outside their cars

- They heard a car noise in the distance so they all got in their cars and loaded the guns on their vehicles and everything

- Y/N was to busy on fixing this one problem in her car and she heard the car stop and she looked up and saw a clown

- Her mates and herself started to back up while the clown car started to move slowly and it brought out a gun from. Aside of the vehicle and it started loading

- Y/N looked at her mates to see if they were all right, they were and they were discussing on how to get this Killer clown down until…

- The friend she was talking to was shot in the head… Her blood everywhere and some got on you due to her head was fully gone

- you were in shocked and you quickly looked at all of your friends and they panicked just as you were

- They started to shoot at him and he of course shot back but he never shot her though?…

- While the red dust was coming at them she had a plan so she climbed throughout her window onto the top of her car and tried to jump and made on top of his car

- her car was still shooting at his and she looked down at her f/n car and she watched it explode into little pieces and she was still alive but was brutally crushed by his car.

- you had tears going down your face due to seeing your two friends dying in front of you

- you looked over for the other one and they stopped their car and so did The clown

- You watched on what was happening and you were gonna bring out your gun but you left it in your car which stopped due to dust getting into your engine

- You were made at yourself because you didn’t have anything to defend yourself with or to save your friend

- you watched while tears rolled down your face

- Your last friend… F/n.. Brutally beaten and tortured, You couldn’t even recognise her face anymore…

- You quickly got off his truck since your plan didn’t work and you decide to run back to your car to get your guns and knifes

- Until you were pulled from behind By sweet tooth..

- You Yelled at him to get him off of you and you started kicking, screaming and punching to get out of this man’s grip

- It was no use though, he was stronger and more powerful…. You didn’t want to die…

- You had tears rolled down your face while you started to feel weak and limped

- he watched you settle down for a bit while you cried in his arms, He just smiled underneath his mask because he finally has you.. He finally gets to keep you.

- he brings you back to his big truck while we’re screaming and all tired.

- once he put you in the back and closed the door behind him, he grabbed a hold of your face while smear your friends blood on you too. He lifts up his mask and kisses your forehead and pulls it back die while you were sitting there

- in disgust and sadness, just have grief washed all over you since you didn’t have the time to mourn your friends death

- He talks to you and made sure that he didn’t hit you with any of his bullets which he didn’t, you were still confused on why he didn’t kill you

- You asked him in a cold tone, And he just replies all happy saying that he found his true love and he needs a goddess by his side and you were the one

- You told him, that he didn’t even know you…. Until he said “ Yes I do.. I have seen you everywhere and I have photos and maps on where you went and where you were. “

- When he showed you, you were shocked and confused and you just wanted to get out until when you were going to stand up and make a flee he grabbed you again and put you in the passenger seat and he put a chain around your ankle.

- You just wanted to see your friends again, but they died brutally in the hands of this clown

- All of the races you have done with them and fights were just nothing, you looked out of the window and all of their car was being filled with sand and dusk from the wind

- Your car was gone since sweet tooth started the car and ran over it

- While he drives he was so happy still smiling underneath his mask while his hand was on your thigh… ( which you did try to remove but couldn’t due to his grip)

- you were stuck with him for the past few years, months, weeks, days..

- He never hurt you though he did give you punishments if you ever tried escaping

- But although he did treat you like a princess and he would always be puppy tender to you, treating you gently and softly, but with anyone else he will be a big dickhead or a bully too them..

- One day he hopes you will fall in love with him forever… 🥰

Thank you so much for requesting! I loved this and If you haven’t watched mad max, go and watch it! It’s really good!