#By doing so the lions “come alive” and are ready to guard the establishment :)

[lazyhylocereusundatus]

I was here too @watertightvines !!!!

free him!! 😢

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Enneagram wings/types next? OK BET YOU GOT IT I LOVE THIS SHIT

I'm putting in wings now and doing the types tomorrow bc it's 12am and I have to be up by 7 💀 I am tired.

But anyways HERE WE GOOO

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Delta + Beta (took seperate tests for both of them but got the same answer): Type 8, the challenger

Description:

Eights are natural leaders. Will and power sparkle at their hands. You want to rule the world and stand out, and you do so because you are the most outstanding type.

Core desire: To be independent

Core fear: Being controlled or harmed

Overview:

Ready to set your kingdom up, you step up into life with strength. Self-assertive and always showing a half-smile, you want the world to know you are here. Not scared at all. It showed you how harsh and dangerous things could be, so now it’s your time to show it how fearless and outstanding you are. Your finger tickles for power. You will never settle for something small, as you know you have the ability to go up and up. If you know how to play your cards and learn to control your over controlling obsession, surely you’ll thrive and inspire others as the star you are. Just learn to pick your battles and to connect.

What motivates you?

I can see you walking through long halls in slow motion while [insert your soundtrack here] plays in the background. Eight, you are the lion of the Enneagram. You love to be in charge, doing things your way as you think that’s the best for everyone. We appreciate that, 8 (shaking). 

Your life is based on protecting yourself from everything and everyone, but with an aggressive response. You don’t wait for the world to attack, you go first. You impact and establish what you want. Nothing more, nothing less… ok, maybe more is better.

How do you think?

Being soft? That’s for marshmallows. As they see you, they treat you. That’s why you worked really hard to build your powerful and respectable persona. You think the world is tough – and you are not wrong – but it makes you always be on guard. Nobody challenges you easily, and if they dare to do so, you fight back even harder. Enforcing your self-confidence and your self-assertive attitude. They see you as huge and unbreakable, and this image you project also reinforces your own beliefs. It’s easy for you to go around with your heart bursting with pride. You think your value relies on always being in control. Otherwise, you feel helpless and scared to death of being hurt.

90% independent: You’ll do whatever it takes to set your way

30% relaxed: You need to be in control,

so you can’t relax

85% confidence: You love empowering others

How do you love?

Love can be another fighting zone for Type 8s. You keep on restlessly demanding what you want from your lovers. You feel good when dominating the relationship and you try to fit them into your expectations or to mold them often. That could cause some tension or hurt the bond. But, there is a natural fighting instinct in you, if there is no tension and challenges to the relationship you’ll sooner rather than later get bored. 

Anyone would think that once you are in a safe place, like an intimate bond, you could lower your guard. But no, quite the opposite. The more vulnerable you feel, the more aggressive you can get. So it’s common for you to be competitive in love. If you open your heart, your lover should know that’s a huge deal. 

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Epic: Type 7, the enthusiast

Description:

The restless explorer. You are the one who’s always going after whatever makes you feel alive. You are like a Pandora box, nobody knows what’s coming next. Spontaneous, versatile and highly stimulated you’re up to new intense things.

Core desire: To be satisfied

Core fear: Being deprived

Overview:

Imagine one of those typical quiet Sundays where nothing happens and everything seems as deserted as ghost towns in western movies. Well, your life is the complete opposite. Even in a desert you can find something to do or goals to achieve. But sometimes the emotion involved in finding the oasis can make other water sources go unnoticed. Anyway, you know it’s worth it. Like a butterfly, you flutter around chasing beauty and joy. Life is a plethora of experiences and you want them all. You’ve got a thirst for life, but unbalanced as you are, you end up never getting satisfied. Life’s short, butterfly, focus on the flowers.

What motivates you?

Satisfaction and joy. Life is beautiful, mysterious and infinite. In some way you can’t stand the idea of leaving this world without seeing everything around and finding what’s out there for you. Every single moment of pain is even more painful if you think it’s a waste of time. As you fight against those feelings, anxiety cheerfully escalates in your mind just like king kong escalated  the Empire State building. Actions are slower than thoughts, which in your case seem to travel in a bullet train. Very used to that rhythm, your thoughts can lose track since you don’t really know what to pay attention to first. Everything seems so amazing and valuable!

Always dancing to Celia Cruz’s song, you feel like life is a carnival and pain goes away just by singing or thinking about newer and challenging ideas. It’s such a pity that you need to sleep, uh?  C’mon evolution!

How do you think?

Let’s go back to the King Kong’s scene. You may be wondering why on earth that’s useful? And you’re right it’s not. At all. I just wanted to show you how obsessed you are with doing only useful things. Relax and keep reading. Ok, back to the scene again. There is something we can highlight: the Empire State of mind. With this highly stimulated, resourceful and out-of-hand mind of yours, every seed seems to grow on your soil. But they can also perish while you go for another crazy idea that very same seed brought to your mind. Experiences are the wind that blows your mind, you feel easily amazed by worldly things. Your eyes, like the ones of a scientist, observe everything around you honestly thirst for knowledge. “Welcome to the circus of life!” Said the doctor who brought you to this world. Well, it was “circle”, but you heard what you heard!

90% curious: You’re energetic and always generate new ideas

30% focused: You have a hard time

trying to focus

85% risk taker: You can be impulsive

How do you love?

Love can be the most attractive thing for 7s. Remember when you first fell in love with someone and how your story became a movie you watched before your eyes as if you were in the front row seat? All those incredible sensations while “Fireworks” by Katy Perry was playing.  Do you often get lost in love fields? Does everything run fast and intense like the trilogy of Before Sunrise? Or do you want to live a love story like that one? Sights! You are such a 7!

And you should be glad. You are a huge fan of love since it represents the plenitude of life and it gives you unbelievable shots of energy to face life as it should be faced. But as soon as your idealization approaches reality, you can feel really disappointed and alone. It’s hard to compromise and stand by something that ‘s not exactly as you imagined. 

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Color: Type 2, the helper

Description:

The one who loves to help and take care of other people. You, the one who puts other people at the top of the list and delivers unconditionally.

Core desire: To be loved and needed

Core fear: Being unwanted

Overview:

All you need is love is your mantra. But sometimes you see love as an investment more than an energy that circulates side to side. You are the lover, kindest, the servicial one. Let’s see how this love engine works.

What motivates you?

Love is the most important thing to you, or better said “being loved”. As Bob Marley sings: Could you be loved and be loved?  you are always deeply expecting if the other loves you as much as you would like, and even more. Sometimes there is a subtle fear, will they stay if you are not making an effort to feel loved too? You feel called to help, to be generous, to hold up other people. That makes you feel good with yourself and worthy of love. You see the needs of people around you and feel the duty of fulfilling them.

How do you think?

You think you’re ok if you are being loved by the rest of the people. Of course, we all want and need love and be loved, but we can’t expect that only other people and their reactions, their decisions define our value; you think that the more you sacrifice for other people the more worthy of their love you are. Love is sacrifice, abnegation. For you, thinking and taking care of your needs is unfair, selfish and you can’t accept that. Being selfish is the worst thing to do, nobody loves who is like that. Everything in your life is measured by a bar that defines two poles: being good and helpful (+) or being selfish and thinking only about yourself (-). You feel that to be loved is required to renounce yourself but at the bottom is not a disinterested resignation but the price is in the whole action itself.

90% empathetic: You're a safe space for vulnerability

30% self-confident: You struggle with saying 'no'

85% needs approval: You always want to help and never get tired

How do you love?

Have you ever heard that song of The Cardigans: love me, love me, say that you love me ?. Well, I’ll take the risk to say that song was written by a Two, just for this part: Just say that you need me, I can’t care ’bout anything but you. In the love field, you are passionate and give everything to your beloved. You like the long and deep conversations that open the way to what is intimate and treasured by the other, that’s the most certain way to connect and win the trust and the love of the other person. That’s the best way to ensure there is a solid relationship. So, you usually seduce by paying special attention to the other.

If you feel you are losing your beloved person you can turn really possessive and intense by doing whatever to hold him/her back. To feel the right to ask something back, you do more valuable things, finally it seems the other person it’s in debt with you. These attitudes can be born from an unconscious plane which supports old beliefs that sustain dependent relationships.

Enjoy <3

(Also thank you for all the love lmao, I'm so glad yall like this stuff so much!!)

YIPPE THERES MOREEEE!! Guys look look. Here’s part one for anyone curious.

And also songs!! There was songs made for the enneagrams (mostly for types I think but can fit for wings.) Here’s Color’s called Two, here’s Delta and Beta’s called Eight, and here’s Seven for Epic.

I love this they feel very fitting for one of my favorite trios + beta. I can’t wait for the types next!

[dfroza]

Today’s reading from the ancient book of Proverbs and book of Psalms

for july 23 of 2021 with Proverbs 23 and Psalm 23, accompanied by Psalm 34 for the 34th day of Summer and Psalm 54 for day 204 of the year (now with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)

[Proverbs 23]

When sitting down to eat with a ruler,

take a moment to think about who you are with and what you are doing.

If you are the type who eats too much too fast,

do whatever is necessary to curb your enthusiasm for food.

Also, do not eye the ruler’s delicacies,

for the food may not be what it seems.

Do not overwork yourself just to become wealthy;

have enough sense to know when to quit.

As soon as you become fixed on riches, they vanish.

For suddenly they sprout wings

and become like a soaring eagle flying high in the sky.

Do not sit down and eat the bread of a tight-fisted fellow

or desire any of his delicacies,

For deep down he’s keeping track of the cost.

He may say, “Eat up! Drink your fill!”

but he does not mean a word of it.

You’ll be sick and lose what little you did eat,

and you’ll waste your breath carrying on a pleasant conversation.

Do not waste your wisdom on a fool,

for he doesn’t care for anything you have to say.

Do not shift the property line by moving the boundary markers your ancestors established

or try to steal property from orphans

Because their Redeemer is strong,

and He will plead their case against you.

Develop a disciplined life.

Be attentive so you can be well informed.

Do not withhold discipline from children,

since corporal punishment will not kill them.

In fact, it may be that kind of punishment

that will save them from an early grave.

My son, if you live wisely,

then my life will be fulfilled.

My very soul will jump for joy

when you speak what is true and right.

Don’t be envious of those wrapped up in sin,

but always maintain a healthy respect for the Eternal.

Your future with Him will be certain,

and you will not have hoped in vain.

Listen, my son, be wise,

and steer your life on the right course.

Do not spend time with heavy wine drinkers

or those who gorge themselves on meat.

For both the drunk and the glutton will end up broke,

sleeping life away, and clothed in rags.

Pay attention to your father—after all, he gave you life—

and don’t ignore your mother in her old age.

Invest in truth, sock it away!

Never cash in wisdom, guidance, or insight.

The parents of the right-living will celebrate;

yes, parents of children who make wise choices are happy.

So make your parents happy;

delight your mother—after all, she brought you into this world.

My son, devote yourself to me fully.

Observe my ways, and follow my directions:

Being drawn to a prostitute is like falling down into a deep well,

and being involved with a wicked woman is like descending into a narrow well.

You may never get out alive.

She waits for you, ready to ambush you like a thief

and ready to multiply unfaithfulness among men.

Who is wallowing in anguish? Who is full of sorrow?

Who has conflicts? Who has complaints?

Who has bruises and can’t remember where they came from?

Who has bloodshot eyes?

You know who: those who stay up late finishing off the wine,

those who can’t stop savoring spiced wines.

Look away from the enticing beauty of wine, the deep red hue;

ignore how it shimmers in the cup

and glides down your throat.

Eventually, when you least expect it, it strikes like a snake;

it stings like viper venom.

Your vision will blur, and you’ll imagine strange things;

you will say crazy, hurtful things and regret it later.

You will reel and stagger as if caught on a wave of seasickness,

as a sailor who holds on to a mast for dear life.

You will say, “They slapped me, but it didn’t hurt.

They beat me, and I didn’t feel a thing!

Whenever I wake up from this stupor,

I’ll have another drink!”

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 23 (The Voice)

[Psalm 23]

The Good Shepherd

David’s poetic praise to God

Yahweh is my best friend and my shepherd.

I always have more than enough.

He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love.

His tracks take me to an oasis of peace near the quiet brook of bliss.

That’s where he restores and revives my life.

He opens before me the right path

and leads me along in his footsteps of righteousness

so that I can bring honor to his name.

Even when your path takes me through

the valley of deepest darkness,

fear will never conquer me, for you already have!

Your authority is my strength and my peace.

The comfort of your love takes away my fear.

I’ll never be lonely, for you are near.

You become my delicious feast

even when my enemies dare to fight.

You anoint me with the fragrance of your Holy Spirit;

you give me all I can drink of you until my cup overflows.

So why would I fear the future?

Only goodness and tender love pursue me all the days of my life.

Then afterward, when my life is through,

I’ll return to your glorious presence to be forever with you!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 23 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 34]

I bless God every chance I get;

my lungs expand with his praise.

I live and breathe God;

if things aren’t going well, hear this and be happy:

Join me in spreading the news;

together let’s get the word out.

God met me more than halfway,

he freed me from my anxious fears.

Look at him; give him your warmest smile.

Never hide your feelings from him.

When I was desperate, I called out,

and God got me out of a tight spot.

God’s angel sets up a circle

of protection around us while we pray.

Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—

how good God is.

Blessed are you who run to him.

Worship God if you want the best;

worship opens doors to all his goodness.

Young lions on the prowl get hungry,

but God-seekers are full of God.

Come, children, listen closely;

I’ll give you a lesson in God worship.

Who out there has a lust for life?

Can’t wait each day to come upon beauty?

Guard your tongue from profanity,

and no more lying through your teeth.

Turn your back on sin; do something good.

Embrace peace—don’t let it get away!

God keeps an eye on his friends,

his ears pick up every moan and groan.

God won’t put up with rebels;

he’ll cull them from the pack.

Is anyone crying for help? God is listening,

ready to rescue you.

If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there;

if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.

Disciples so often get into trouble;

still, God is there every time.

He’s your bodyguard, shielding every bone;

not even a finger gets broken.

The wicked commit slow suicide;

they waste their lives hating the good.

God pays for each slave’s freedom;

no one who runs to him loses out.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 34 (The Message)

[Psalm 54]

For the worship leader. A contemplative song of David when his friends, the Ziphites, betrayed him to Saul. Accompanied by strings.

Liberate me, O God, by the authority of Your name.

Vindicate me through Your legendary power.

Hear my prayer, O God;

let the words of my mouth reach Your sympathetic ear.

The truth is, these strangers are rallying against me;

cold-blooded men seek to slay me;

they have no respect for You.

[pause]

But see now! God comes to rescue me;

the Lord is my valiant supporter.

He will repay my enemies for the harm they have done; they are doomed!

According to Your faithful promises, silence them.

I will sacrifice to You willingly;

I will lift Your name by shouts of thanksgiving, O Eternal One, for Your name is good.

God has pulled me out from every one of the troubles that encompass me,

and I have seen what it means to stand over my enemies in triumph.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 54 (The Voice)

[starryeyed-char]

You Know It

MORE VLD WHUMP WEEK! Day 3- Near Death and/or Blood Loss! There’s some of both in this, though they’re not technically related. You’ll see.

Yes, it’s (k)lance whump again. It actually ended up being established klance, since I,,, have no self control. Enjoy!

Lance let out a slow breath, peering through his rifle's scope down at the sentries. “There aren't that many of them,” he observed. “But I've got the feeling that there are more we can't see. I'll take out these from up here, then—”

“If there are more, I'll draw them out!” Keith shouted, and Lance winced, pressing a hand to his com. The red paladin would constantly scream before running into battle, forgetting that the others could hear him perfectly clear. He ran out of his hiding spot, and cut down the nearest two sentries quickly with his bayard. The others caught on and rushed towards him.

“Keith! You've got to stop doing that! I had them, and we wouldn't have set off any alarms that way!” Lance protested, gesturing at the flashing red lights above them.

“This is a quick mission!” Keith called back. “Just gotta get the scaultrite they stole from the Weblum, and get out. No time to shoot down each sentry one by one. There aren't even that many of them.”

Ironically enough, at that exact moment the door opened, and more robots flooded into the room.

Lance cursed, and jetpacked down onto the ground as fast as he could. With numbers like that, Keith would quickly be overwhelmed. So this would be a close combat fight, then. Lance sighed, and morphed his sniper rifle into a blaster. He hated close combat.

“Nice job, fearless leader,” Lance deadpanned, turning to stand back to back with Keith. “What was that you were saying? 'There aren't even that many?'”

“Shut up, Lance,” Keith growled. “Let's just take these guys out.”

Lance smirked. “I got your back, but you sure you can handle it, Samurai?”

“You know it.”

Thankfully most of the new crowd of sentries fought with swords, not guns, so Lance was able to take them out before they got too close. Unfortunately, though, whenever one close to them fell it seemed another was there quickly to take its place. And they just kept coming.

“Pidge? How're you and Hunk holding up?” Lance called over the sound of his bayard firing.

“Well, thanks to you guys setting off the alarms, Lotor knows we're here. But all the sentries on this ship went off to where you guys are, so we've got a pretty clear path to where I picked up the scaultrite's signature,” Pidge informed him. “If you guys can keep them occupied, this mission might actually be a success.”

Lance nodded. “We're good.” His voice thankfully came out a lot more confident than he actually felt.

“Allura, Shiro, what about you?” Keith asked, kicking yet another robot to the floor.

“Between the castle and Blue we've pretty much taken out all the fighter jets,” Allura said. “Lotor's not out here in his ship, though, so he and the generals must be elsewhere. It's concerning, but we'll deal with that when we've got the scaultrite.”

“Roger that,” Lance affirmed, turning his full attention to the fight again. The sentries kept getting closer and closer as he dropped them, and he couldn't take them down more than two at a time, so they kept inching closer. And the closer they got, the harder it was to take them down, so Lance found himself in a vicious cycle. Keith, who excelled at fighting up close, didn't seem to have the same problem.

Suddenly, one of the bots who had been getting dangerously close to Lance on his right side surged forward, sword-wielding arm outstretched, and Lance had to make a decision.

He would've been able to block it with his shield, but the blaster required two hands to aim properly, and so it wasn't activated. The way the sword was going it would graze both him and Keith, since they were standing so close. Lance could dodge it easily, but he definitely didn't have enough time to warn Keith, so the red paladin would end up getting stabbed full force. Lance did, however, have time to move in front of the sword to take the full injury himself.

So that was what he did. All things considered, it wasn't much of a choice at all.

His thoughts had run through each scenario in the pace of half a second, and then Lance was leaning into the blade to block it from hitting Keith as it plunged deep into his shoulder. He let out a strangled yelp, fingers letting go of his bayard with the sudden pain. The blaster clattered to the floor and Lance feel soon after, clutching at his wound as blood leaked from between his fingers.

The sentry leveled it's blade at Lance's throat, and he felt his heart stutter. All the robots suddenly stopped, looking towards it. Maybe they'd been programmed to capture them alive.

Keith stopped fighting, and whirled around to see Lance lying on the ground, defenseless and bleeding, with a weapon pointed at him. He took half a step forward before freezing, eyes impossibly wide.

“Lance...” His voice was stained, and Lance smiled shakily.

“Surrender or your friend dies,” the sentry's automated voice threatened, and Lance flinched. So maybe the whole 'capturing them alive' thing was more of a preference than a necessity.

Keith slowly raised his hands, deactivated his bayard in the process. His bayard...

The red bayard lay at Keith's feet. Lance stared at it pointedly before bringing his gaze back up to Keith, who, once he realized what Lance was trying to indicate, kicked it forward. Right into Lance's waiting hands.

Lance activated it and had shot down the sentry standing over him in a heartbeat. He grabbed its sword before it could fall and hurt him, and used it to sloppily hack the sentries around him in half. Keith fought with his own sword furiously, and Lance aimed his bayard with shaking hands.

The pain in his shoulder and steadily increasing blood loss were making it difficult to see or shoot properly, but he hit the control panel to close the doors, eliminating the threat of more guards entering. Keith finished off the ones remaining in the room with them, then turned to Lance, breathless.

“Let me see your shoulder,” he demanded. Lance complied, removing his hand from the wound reluctantly. “It's pretty deep, but as long as you get to a pod once we're back at the castle you should be fine.”

“Great,” Lance started to stand up, but Keith put a hand on his uninjured shoulder and sat him back down.

“What do you mean 'great?' That robot was pointing a sword right at you! You could've died!”

“But I didn't,” Lance reminded him, and Keith scowled.

“That's not the point! The point is, that was too close! How'd that even happen, anyway? One second you were fighting right behind me, and the next I turn and you're bleeding on the ground!” Keith's voice was rising in urgency, but Lance just stared at his feet. Keith's expression switched almost immediately from anger to surprise. “It... it would've hit me, wouldn't it?”

Lance bit his lip, and offered a guilty smile. “Sorry? You're way better in close combat than I am, so if you got hurt, then we'd really be in trouble.”

Keith just stared at him for a moment, before bending down and pulling out the first aid kit. “You're lucky that Allura made me start bringing this on missions. Now hold still. I'm not going to just let you bleed out while we wait for a pod.”

Lance flinched as Keith edged the torn armor away from the wound, and turned on his coms to focus his attention elsewhere. “Pidge, how's it going on your end?”

“We got the scaultrite and are heading back to the green lion,” she reported. “You two should try and get back to Red as soon as possible, so Allura can wormhole us out of here.”

“Are you two okay?” Hunk piped up, worry evident in his voice.

Before Lance could reply, Keith spoke. “Lance got himself stabbed, but we're otherwise fine.  You should start prepping a pod, Coran.”

The line was immediately filled with questions, concern, and a brief agreement from Coran.

“It's just my shoulder!” Lance assured them. “I'm fine! Keith's just being an ass and insisting that he bandage me up before I get to the castle.”

“You've lost a decent amount of blood, and the wound is pretty deep,” Keith reasoned. “Not to mention that last sentry almost killed you. If you think I'd let you fly Red back without treating it, then you're even dumber than I thought you were.”

“At this rate I'm not even going to need a pod,” Lance grumbled. “I swear! It's not even that bad. I don't get why you're so upset about a minor injury.”

“He's upset because it's you, you dork,” Pidge pointed out. “Couldn't care in the slightest when something happens to one of us, but if his boyfriend gets so much as a bruise he's all worried.”

Lance blushed. “Shut up, Pidge.”

“You know I'm right,” she shot back. Neither of them responded.

“...Okay, well I'm going to turn off our coms now, see you back at the ship you two!” Hunk said cheerily. Pidge's annoyed protests were cut off midway.

Lance brought his eyes up to look at Keith, who was still intensely focused on bandaging up Keith's arm. “I... I really am sorry. For worrying you. I know fighting a war in space isn't actually the best time to be... you know, involved with someone. I'll try to be more careful?”

Keith met his eye. “I know you, Lance. You're never careful. Hell, you're the red paladin now. You're not supposed to be careful.”

“True. You're always recklessly putting yourself in danger. If it makes you feel any better, I always got super worried whenever you were hurt, too. And that was before we were even together.”

Keith laughed softly. “Maybe that's why we're such a good team.” Lance felt like his face was on fire as Keith leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the lips before standing. He helped Lance up. “Ready to head back, Sharpshooter?”

Lance grinned. “You know it.”

[karlosharrison-blog]

Writer Samuel Johnson said, “by seeing London, I have seen as much of life as the world can show.” He might have been slightly biased coming from England (and writing in the 18th Century not too familiar with what goes on in Bangkok at night). Still, he’s not far wrong and London has always been a capital city filled with rich delights, sights, and sounds, where you can usually find what you want when you want it – no matter the hands on the clock.

London – All the lights shine.

The Big Smoke

Interestingly, at the time of writing and according to Forbes, London is second only to the provocative Thai capital as the most visited city in the world (having just lost the number one spot). Some 16 million tourists descend on “the big smoke” every year and those people are all looking for fun things to do. As you might expect, London has it in abundance.

And like any world-city worth its salt, it offers much when the sun goes down and the people come out to play. Here then, are 20 + things to see and do in London in the evening or at night.

If you’re looking for a solid London itinerary, here’s a 3 Day London Itinerary for you!

Finding Your Way Around

Before we dive right in, we’ve included a handy Google map of all the main attractions listed here. However, please note for the likes of pubs, clubs and restaurants etcetera, there are simply far too many to pin – so you’re just going to have to sniff those out on your own!  

West End Musicals and Theater

Love them or hate them, there’s no doubt that musicals are enormously popular, particularly when in their territory of London’s West End or Broadway in New York. Remember the amount of people who visit London? Well, the Society of London Theater claim that 15 million bums were on auditorium seats in 2017. While we’re not saying that every tourist who visits the city goes to a show – there’s a tremendous amount of them that do!

Disney’s Beauty and the Beast – Just one of hundreds of West End shows.

Musicals like The Lion King, Wicked, Les Misérables and the Phantom of the Opera have been mesmerising audiences for decades, with the cream of film and theater acting talent regularly adding their own box-office clout. If you’re not a fan of musicals, don’t miss some of the world’s best cutting-edge theater, and you might see a global superstar doing what they do best. For many, the highlight of a visit to London is grabbing a ticket to one of these timeless spectacles. Don’t miss it.

Sightseeing the Lights

London, like Paris, is famous for its lights at night and there’s no better way to see them than an evening stroll through the city. It’s particularly stunning at Christmas time when scores of fluorescent bulbs illuminate the streets, but you don’t need to just visit then to experience the magic and charm of London when her lights are on.

Tower Bridge at night is truly a sight to behold.

World-famous sights such as the Houses of Parliament, Piccadilly Circus, Tower Bridge, and St Paul’s Cathedral are all spectacularly lit up at night, and you’ll find no shortage of great walking tours to guide you around them. Just don’t forget your camera’s tripod for taking those truly stunning twilight photographs.

Famous Pubs, Bars, and Clubs

London’s nightlife is up there with the finest in the world, with some of the best pubs, bars, and clubs you could possibly hope to find. From beautiful, ye olde worlde style taverns to avant-garde, swankiness, this city has an establishment to cater for every taste.

Stunning locations like the Dickens Inn await you when you’re thirsty.

If you’re that way inclined, you can even do specially designed London pub tours to make sure you don’t miss out on all the best ones – because your head will be spinning from more than a pint of ale with how many there are. And when you’ve had your fill of the vintage and traditional, hit up some of the best dance clubs on the planet and cut some rug until the early hours.

Comedy/Stand Up

Rattle off a list of British comedians and you’ve got a who’s who of the funniest people ever to grace a comedy stage – and they all started somewhere. The comedy circuit in London is extremely popular for international funny people and a great choice for an alternative night out. You’ve more than half a chance at catching tomorrow’s stars before they make it big.

Visiting a stand-up show – laughter is the best medicine.

And the beauty of it is, you’ll find many gigs for free! Check Time Out for listings or remember that google is your friend for finding who’s playing where. Just be ready to have your side’s split!

Gigs, Gigs, and More Gigs

The UK is home to the finest music scene in the world and this is reflected in the sheer amount of live performances you can see across the country week in week out. London has more than its fair share of music gigs available every night, where you can catch all the legends or the next big thing.

Gigs in London can be intimate affairs or huge sell-out stadium concerts

And while you’re at it, why not take in the famous history and sites by doing a rock and roll music tour? One of the best ways to truly immerse yourself in the experience and one for true music aficionados everywhere – especially if you’re fans of the Beatles and the Rolling Stones.

The Tower of London – Ceremony of the Keys

Visiting the crown jewels is always a highlight for tourists coming to London, many of whom flock here to enjoy the history of the British Royal family. The infamous Tower of London is forever synonymous with that history, with a brutal and bloody past that makes it an exciting and educational attraction – especially at night.

Many a ne’er do well met a timely end here.

The Ceremony of the Keys is the oldest military ceremony in the world, dating back to the middle ages. It starts at exactly 21.53 every night, where the guards perform a fascinating interaction to ensure the keys are kept safe until the morning. It’s totally free, but only 40-50 tourists are allowed access to it, which means that it is nearly always sold out at least 12 months in advance. Remember to book ahead!

The London Eye

When the London Eye opened to the public back in the year 2000 it was the world’s tallest Ferris wheel. Now ranking number three, it’s still the tallest in Europe, and one of London’s premier tourist attractions. As you might expect, you’ll get some of the best views of the capital from here.

The London Eye.

Both it and surrounding docks on the river Thames light up beautifully at night – and it’s well worth it to get your ticket in advance to beat the queues. The London Eye features regularly in popular culture and it’s a landmark you really shouldn’t miss when visiting the city. Providing you have a head for heights of course!

Late-Night London Museums

Have you ever seen the movie Night at the Museum? That could very well happen in London town! While the exhibits might not literally come to life, there’s plenty of opportunity for seeing some of the city’s best museums with late opening times offering something to keep all the family happy.

History at your fingertips

Museums like the Tate Modern, British Museum and Transport Museum regularly stay open well into the evening to give everyone the chance of enjoying the exhibitions, while some like the Natural History Museum (pictured above) even have sleepover events where you can stay the whole night! Perhaps the Tyrannosaurus Rex does come alive when nobody’s watching!

A River Thames Cruise

The River Thames is the iconic body of water that flows through the heart of London, inspiring a catalogue of stories, shaping history and defining a city. It’s fondly regarded in these parts, and what better way to see it than taking in a sunset cruise?

The dramatic River Thames.

Enjoy a glass (or two) of bubbly as you float down this world-famous river, passing all the major landmarks along the way. It’s surely one of the best ways to see the city at a leisurely pace from a unique vantage point, perfect for treating a loved one.

Jack the Ripper/Ghost Tour

England – and the UK in general – is one of the most haunted places on earth, and as such, the popularity of ghost walks and tours has skyrocketed. London is in the very thick of it, with the capital having more than its fair share of ghostly goings on. It’s not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure!

You go guys – I’m…washing my hair tonight.

But of all the tales coming out of the capital, perhaps the most infamous is that of Jack the Ripper – the Whitechapel murderer who was never found. He terrorised the city back in 1888, and he still does to this day, as you can “enjoy” a spine-tingling tour through the streets of his old stomping ground. Just don’t look behind you!

The Sky Garden

While not nearly being close to having the skyscrapers of other world cities such as New York or Hong Kong, London certainly has some distinctive ones. 20 Fenchurch Street is one such architectural construction, known affectionately by locals as “the walkie-talkie.”

The “walkie-talkie”

One of the most interesting things about it is that it has a beautiful, three-floor sky garden with stunning views over the city. It all lights up rather charmingly at night and being the 6th tallest building in the city, it will give you unrivalled views as London sprawls out below you. Sunrise yoga is also extremely popular too!

Visit Shakespeare’s Globe

“All the world’s a stage,” quoted Shakespeare in his play As You Like It, and you’d be mad to miss one of the most beautiful and iconic stages in the world while visiting London. Shakespeare’s Globe is a faithful reconstruction of the bard’s 16th-century theater, and seeing a performance here is a must for anyone who is a fan of the “upstart crow.”

Watch theater how they did in Shakespeare’s time

The theater has a repertoire of seasonal work and has been playing to delighted audiences since it opened in 1997. Catch a mesmerising, candle-lit performance of Hamlet, Macbeth, and co if you can, but there’s still plenty to see and do when no shows are scheduled.

Late-Night London Shopping

Just as tempting as visiting a city’s tourist attractions is visiting its shopping districts, particularly if you happen to be in one of the fashion hot-spots of the world. London is no stranger to style and high-end couture, and you can soak it all up by exploring any number of shopping streets in the capital.

Regent Street at Christmas

Oxford Street, Regent Street, Bond Street, and Mayfair have become by-words for shopping excellence, but there are literally hundreds of locations to choose from for a spree at night. And if your legs can’t carry you anymore and you’ve shopped until you’ve dropped, try a chauffeur driven experience to help you carry those bags instead. You can thank us later.

Night Bus Tour

It might not be the night bus of Harry Potter fame (although London does have a number of attractions to keep wizards happy), but taking an open-top bus around the sights is a wonderful way to spend an evening.

One of these – but at night.

For just under two hours you can enjoy views that you wouldn’t get from a walking tour, all from the comfort of your seat. A professional guide is included as well as the option of listening in several different languages.  May we suggest you wrap up warm though if sitting upstairs in winter – and be aware that the summer version is mainly conducted in daylight.

Observatory Stargazing

The longer nights bring the perfect opportunity to turn our gaze to the heavens and enjoy some celestial activity, and what better way to enjoy it than visiting one of London’s famous observatories? Hampstead Observatory is open every Friday and Saturday night from the end of September to the beginning of April and it’s free to enter. You’ll learn a lot about the night sky from one of the centre’s knowledgeable and keen volunteers.

The Royal Observatory, Greenwich

Alternatively, you can visit the Royal Observatory in Greenwich, which is located in a UNESCO world heritage site. There you can stand astride the Greenwich Meridian Line and be in the western and eastern hemispheres at the same time! Make sure to visit in the evening for stargazing experiences, astronomer talks and a planetarium show.

Dining Out/Chinatown/Late Markets

London is a foodie’s paradise, with world-class, top quality wining and dining at thousands of restaurants and eateries scattered across the city. There’s something to suit all tastes, but even if you don’t find what you’re looking for, why not visit one of the late-night markets and cook something up for yourself? You could even try a food tour to sample a little bit of everything.

Dining out – one of life’s little pleasures

Alternatively, take in the sights, sounds, and smells of London’s Chinatown. Fine east Asian cooking and experiences await right in the heart of the city and it’s always a joy to visit the region at night – especially if there’s a party going down.

The Shard City View

The Shard is London’s newest addition to its skyline, completed in 2012 making it the tallest building in the UK. Its 95 stories are shaped into a giant shard of glass, and you can enjoy the spectacular, panoramic views from the 72nd floor during the day or at night.

The stunning Shard in Southwark

If you’re feeling particularly brave, you can even venture out onto the open-air viewing platform – which is the highest in Europe. There’s also multimedia exhibits and knowledgeable staff on hand to inform you about the London skyline. A great experience all round, but especially magical in the evening.

Late Debate at the Houses of Parliament

One of the most famous buildings in the world, the UK Houses of Parliament is a London icon, not least for the stunning Big-Ben tower and clock. But did you know you can sit in on debates in the public gallery? MPs often work late into the night, and it’s possible to catch them having an argument or two about current affairs.

The emblematic Houses of Parliament

Of course, you can never be sure what they’re going to be talking about, so it could be sleep-inducing monotony, but it’s still a great alternative attraction at such a revered and historic seat. Don’t forget you can also visit in the day with a guided tour should you prefer.

Bat Tour

Visiting Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park is a wonderful way to spend an afternoon (or any London park for that matter) particularly if the weather is fine. But there’s an increasingly popular activity that has been garnering positive press for members of the order Chiroptera. That’s a fancy name for bats, and you can see them if you attend one of the Royal Park’s Bat Walks.

Not scary at all!

Bats get a bad rep, but with the help of a guide, some of the negative myths will be dispensed with as you use “bat-detectors” to locate and study the creatures. Other nocturnal animals might well make themselves known too, but if you’re not happy with that and a big scaredy-pants – you can always just visit the London Zoo during the day – which is the oldest of its kind in the world.

Become a TV Show Audience Member

The UK is home to some extremely popular TV shows, including the likes of the Voice and the X-Factor, the Graham Norton Show and comedy options Live at the Apollo, Q.I, Mock the Week and Never Mind the Buzzcocks. Plus loads more besides.

Get behind the scenes at a TV show

Whatever your preference, if you book in advance you just might be able to score some tickets to your favourite TV show. And the best thing about it is – they’re usually free! Failing that, you can join millions of people each year who enjoy one of London’s many film tours, with Harry Potter easily being the biggest draw.  

Late Night Madame Tussauds

The world-famous waxwork museum needs little introduction and no visit to the capital is complete without seeing the incredible life-like sculptures of people in the public eye. It’s been drawing in the crowds for over 200 years, constantly evolving and adding new exhibits and experiences. But while it usually closes in the afternoon, late-night Madame Tussauds is also a thing – an adults-only evening that’s guaranteed to be loads of fun.

Brad Pitt is waiting for you late at night…

Rub shoulders with the Queen of England, meet a galaxy of Star Wars characters or give Donald Trump a piece of your mind. You’ll need to book in advance and check dates, but a late-night with a bunch of life-like wax figures couldn’t possibly go wrong!

London Calling…

“A bad day in London is still better than a good day anywhere else,” said an unknown author, and we’re sure that with these sights and attractions, you’ll also have a good night there too. This barely scratches the surface of what you can do in the UK capital, but they’re arguably some of the best ways to spend an evening. You’ll soon discover that London is everything you dreamed it would be.

The post London attractions at Night – Top 20+ things to See and Do in London appeared first on Etramping Travel Blog.

[tristanlovesthequeen]

Son/of/Aragon

Son of Aragon

Episode 1

We find Basels son Sergio on horseback on the path to the brewery. There are moths and pollen in the air, everywhere there is beauty. The world whispers.  

Besel:  Hello, dear reader, I am Basel the ancient wizard.  I have gone on holiday, away from general wizardry and heroism to stay with my dear friends.  Who are they?  The elven monks who run the brewery Eastvleteran, the namesake of which is also a drink which I helped invent.

(Enter into Basel's chamber where he is working on an illuminated manuscript.  Tic toc tic toc a timer is ticking in the background. The timer dings)!

Basel:  Ahh time for dinner to be cooked.  (Puts rabbit chunks in pot of stew.  Sets aside rabbit skin in a bowl).  That will be for the rabbit skin glue.  We'll let that churn a bit.  Ah yes, now back to my manuscript.  What's the occasion you say?  Behold...(Basel sits at desk, page zooms in on manuscript page.

(In story mode)

Basel:  It all started with an empty amulet.  The amulet was a gift from the elven god Adrifan, god of the ether realm to his love interest, the the high priestess of the celts, Apixa.  Her beauty was reknowned throughout heaven and earth.  She was born of this world from the stamen of a forest flower, fertilized by a sacred spirit, who was rebirthed as a bee on his visit from the heavens.  Her family were the fairies who lived in the woods that encapsulated this forest flower.  The elf found her one day while hunting geese at a nearby pond.  He saw her amongst the tall reeds bathing.  It was love at first sight.  You may wonder what this has to do with anything.  It is an ancient elven secret that the monks have kept.  On every anniversary of the meeting of Adrifan and Apixa, a warrior who is righteous in spirit and will retrieve the amulet from the sacred place, and return it to the elven kingdom for the ceremony of restoration.  The transporters of the heart will receive knighthood in the elven kingdom and the ceremony brings purity back to the elves.

  (Three raps at the door and  Basel answers to find Sergio at the door).  

Basel:  Sergio my boy!  I've been expecting you!  Come right in, you are most welcome.

(Sergio is not the only one looking for Basel.  A demi-vampire has been  following Sergio through the woods in the form of a bat).  

Sergio and Basel sit down to Mugwort tea.  

Sergio:  (Holding cup).  How have you been pop?  

Basel:  (Takes sip).  I'm glad you asked.  It was happenstance that I found myself in Whimzleton at the National Gallery in a meeting with the portraits of the Greats.  While discussing Fair Trade Diamonds, a thief stole a minor work called “Reclining Nude of Grizelda,” done by the late fauvist painter Rees Van Livingston, c. 1905.  He was attacked by a museum guard with a billyclub, poor boy, and as he fell, he ripped right through the canvas face first.  This, of course, was in front of the fair trade diamond protest of the gnomes of the North, which is why I was there in the first place. The leader of the protest started to shout on his blowhorn, which aggrivated the guard.  People started to argue which was disrupting my meeting, and, before a riot could assue, I cast a spell to freeze time.  I cast another spell that healed the thief, flawlessly stitched the painting, and wiped the memories of the crowd.  When the authorities arrived, everyone was very confused as to why the thief was carrying the painting through the museum in the first place, casually observing the main hall.  He was arrested on the spot and the painting was returned to the museum, an amalgam of errors easily removed.

Stake:  (Arrives at window as a bat). Screech Screech!

Basel:  (Noticing window). Stake!  Show your true form my lad, you could have given an old wizard like me a cardiac arrest!  Not that I would succumb to such candor.  (Opens door).

(The bat turns into his elf-like form).

Basel:  Ah good, just in time for supper.  Stake, would you come in?

Stake:  I thought you'd never ask.  

Basel:  (Takes sip from ladle over stove).  Please sit, the rabbit stew is ready.  (Places a bowl of stew in front of Sergio and one in front of Stake with a spoon.  Sergio begins to slurp).

Sergio:  How do you two know each other?

Basel:  Stake is a knight here on elven territory.

Sergio:  Then why was he...(motions toward window).

Stake:  I am also part vampire.  I'd say, half elf, half vampire. Dema-elf.  After all my years as a knight, I have been assigned this year to retrieve the sacred amulet due to my condition as a vampire. After the way my wife and I were transformed, the elven society believes my life to be unhealthy.  The constant blood lust is the source of constant ridicule for my fellow knights, however shallow it may be.  So I have come to find you, Sergio, to accompany me on this quest.

Basel:  The high priestess has given me a wind chime that enchants the spirit, allows one to see the location of the amulet, the prize gift from the warrior spirit.  I will be your guide.

Sergio:  Wait what?  I was eating soup.  

Basel:  I said you're going on this trip, it will be a great diservice to everyone if--

Sergio:  Relax, I heard you the first time.  Why me?

Stake:  Given your superior strengths as a wizard--

Sergio:  Yeah, I got ya, very powerful mage, yadda yadda, when do we leave?

(They set off on their journey  Sergio on a giant lion.  Stake is a bat.  First location is the forest.  They travel along the coast and stop for the night).

Stake:  Let's stop for the night, we'll resume tomorrow.  

Sergio:  Oh you mean we'll be alive tomorrow?  Super.

Stake:  Mmmaybe.  I will.  You might not make it.

(Stake and Sergio set up camp and Stake start to read by the fire).

Sergio:  (In a thought bubble).  Sometimes I start to read and realize the words are about me.  Take for example, this part of the book.  This actually happened to me.  I must be famous or something.

(In the text)  There was one time when I tried to get Satan Himself to help stop my pop from controlling Earth realm.  He was offended. And when Satan is offended, all hell breaks loose, literally.

(Sergio hides behind a 1968 Pontiac GTO waiting to attack.  Bullets fly over him.  He is in Hell.  Hell looks like a cavern underneath the earth.  He pops up and shoots flame from his hands at his attacker who is Satan.  

Satan leaps into the air with a tommy gun narrowly avoiding Sergio's attack.  He lands in a drop kick knocking Sergio flat.

Sergio kip ups and one of Satan's minions tries to run him over in an El Dorado Super Sport.  Sergio back flips over the car and it t-bones into the shelled out GTO.  The minion is dead, smashed through the glass, on the hood.

Sergio:  Just come with me politely and I won't fry you to a crisp.

Satan:  What am I a cuck, Sergee?  How long have I known thee?

The devil spins into the air letting out a spiral of bullets.

Serge leaps under the devil, grabs his legs and slams him into the hood of the GTO with a cold shoulder.  

Satan: Yowee!!

Sergio:  You goddamn snake!  Keep off me!

(They roll off the hood of the car and the devil gun butts Sergio's jaw.  Serge puts his two hands to the devil's gut and torches him up into the air.  Faroosh!  Cut to devil's face, it says radio edit over his mouth like a type writer.  Devil lands on his feet with a crunch! It cracks the ground).  

Satan:  You think you can contain me?  I am the devil!

Serge snaps his fingers and a diver's cage drops on the devil.  

Satan:  Daww. (Slumps in cage) So anyways... (walks out of cage through front door).  May I offer you a cigar?  (Take out couple of cigars).

Sergio:  Naw I don't smoke.  Spits.  Wipes mouth.

Satan:  If you say you don't.  What is it that you want me to do Sergio?  (Checks scratch on arm).  

Sergio:  It's my Dad, he's attempting to take over Earth realm again.  I need--

Satan: Eh, you want.

Sergio: I want you to come serve him up a slice of devil's pie.

Satan:  With you?  Please, Sergee, what a bum you're being.  Who am I with?  I live in hell!  I'm the guy that never leaves, y'know Prince of Darkness, has wife, grandkids, little brats, minions, y'know the whole shebang.  What do I care what goes on on Earth?  I live in the immortal afterrealm.  You're threatening my whole way of being, here.

Sergio:  Don't be a dipshit.  The more deaths there are on earth caused on Earth by my father, the larger his undead army will become, his army will become stronger while your army diminishes.

Satan:  What has he lost his shit again?  In other words hell on earth.  Look kid, I'm already slaying princess Leia, my army of minions is well established and only really comes in handy when fighting against the heavens.  Hell on Earth?  Let those guys deal with it (points upward)

Sergio:  Forget I even asked.  Thanks for the fight.

Stake:  (In a thought bubble).  I have on occasion, dealt with the devil, and like all full blooded vampires, he only cares for himself.  

Sergio:  (In a thought bubble).  Can't say I care for him.   (Voice bubble) One thing I have been meaning to ask you, can't believe I didn't get around to it sooner, you're a daywalker right?  (Lays back on Leo).

Stake:  Correct.  I would consider myself half elf.  That is elven born.  It is for this reason that I haven't completely been overcome by vampire desires.  (Fades to dream)  In 1869 I was to be married to an elven princess.  Her beauty was unparalleled.   We were madly in love and would often take trysts in the forest where we would... shag about.  I was to travel off to war with the elven army, the king had made plans with the gnomes to sell one thousand pieces of elven chain mail and they had scoffed at his offer, saying gnomish grade metal would suffice.  On top of that a gnome had seduced an elvish chambermaid during his stay at a hospital on our land.  Needless to say, a victorian era elven king is not the most easygoing person hood, and in the face of the gnomes' offense, he called for a draconian response.  Before we set off, and before she could pout, I asked her to be my bride.  She said yes!  I was so enthusiastic I asked for the royal hall to throw a ball after the wedding ceremony. That night, as my wife lay awake in anticipation.

Vive:  I desire, half crack!  A vampire in the form of a bat sat outside her window.  

Vampire:  Dear little, wife, how my soul aches for thee.  It is I, Pavel, ahem I mean Stake, wouldn't you care to see me before the wedding.  I can give you what you desire...

Vive:  No you can't! (crosses arms and starts to pout)

(Door starts to open with a creak)

SERGIO:  Wait, what?  A vampire, that seems a tad bit random.  

STAKE:  Almost.  In a battle with Aragon's army, I had decapitated a warrior king.  I later found out that with a few stitches and Aragon's magic he had been ressurected as a vampire-drago, vampire of dragon blood.  From then on he had been stalking us, I had felt evil eyes watching from afar, feeling his cries that he would someday come for my bride.

SERGIO:  Devilish.  So she turned into a vampire?

STAKE:  Yesssss.  Unfortunately the bite on her neck is not all he left with.  (Stake looks down and tears start to fall from his wincing face).  I still recognized her as my bride as did the royal court and that night we attended the royal ball although shaken by the events prior to the wedding.  She seemed faint and not all there. Frowns were upon us.  

Ball attendee 1:  She was raped (Turns back to wife)

Ball attendee 2:  She sees someone else (Turns back to husband)

Ball attendee 3:  You gave her to him.  He impaled her mouth with his--

(Stake and Vive hand in hand start to frown)

(Focus on their hands clasped, they start to squeeze)

Stake: She whispered to me...

Vive:  You are my fate, live with me forevermore as my sex slave, and I will seduce you every night.  We will make deep passionate love in every sect of our chambers.  I want you in between my thighsss...”

Stake:  How was I to live without my beautiful wife, as vampirellic as she was, and with that we kissed as she sunk her teeth into my tongue.  (DREAM SEQUENCE ENDS)

SERGIO:  What happened to the vampire that turned her?

STAKE:  I still feel his taunts, he is seldomly ever seen or heard from, especially not in the elven kingdom and as a vampire I feel akin to him in some ways which makes it impossible to kill him.

SERGIO:  So why seek the amulet?

STAKE:  It will cure my bloodlust and that of my wife.  The elves still ridicule me even though it is under their breath.  Once worn one is immediately cured from that which guilts him.  Only those who know it's true location can don it, and it is said to bring euphoria to those who wear it, which might make it difficult to take off.

SERGIO:  Sounds interesting.  Well I'm feeling glum.  Time for me nap.

(Dream Sequence)

(Sergio sees Aragon at his crystal ball.  A  covered with hands appears and it is Basel ringing the windchime.  He turns.

Basel:  Sergio my dear boy!  So glad I have found you.  (Dog barks). Down girl down!  Good girl.  You deserve a treat.  The ring of the windchime is leading us out of the forest to the city of Yarx.  You and Stake should have no trouble finding it if you continue east. Watch for the temple in the midst of the forest.

Crystal ball starts to crack and Aragon's eyes roll back as he faints.  Dream fades and it is dawn.  Serge yawns and stretches.   He is propped on Leo.  She opens one eye and goes back to sleep.  He has been riding the lion since he was a boy and they have a deep bond. Whatever happens to the lion in essence happens to Sergio.  Stake is still asleep.  He farts.  There is a raccoon corpse next to him drained from the night before.  A nightingale lands on his napsack and starts to sing green sleeves.  He hisses and snatches at it with his eyes closed and it flies away.  He is awake.  Serge throws some beans and eggs on the griddle atop the fire.))

Serge:  Want some?

Stake:  Yes'm.

Serge:  Basel contacted me in a dream.  We're to head east to Yarx.

((Cut to scene of tavelling through jungle.  Sergio is on the lion, Stake is flying as a bat.  We're going on a lion hunt.  Trudge, trudge, trudge.  A hidden temple!  Can't go under it.  Trudge, trudge, trudge.  Can't go through it.  Trudge, trudge, trudge.  Gotta go over it!  Trudge.  They hike up the temple steps into the throne room.  It is made of stone with torches alight along the walls. There are one million bananas in a pile against the back wall.))

Tiger:  Roarr!  ((A tiger runs out at them and the lion leaps in front of her bucking Sergio onto the ground.  They get up into each other's personal spaces and grapple.  RAWOORAWOO!  A banana salesman boomerangs a banana at the tiger.

Banana salesman:  Now Catsy!  That's not how we treat our new guests!  (Wearing underwear.  Pets Catsy under jaw as she purrs.) I've been in this temple hoarding bananas.  It is how I gain my bride.  Do you know how long it takes to hoard a million bananas? Speak!

Serge:  Can't say.

Banana Salesman:  (Putting on overalls) Not that long actually.  You see they're everywhere.  Me and Catsy here maintain the stock.  What brings you to the jungle?

Sergio:  We're on our way to Yarx coming from an elven monastery. This is the only way through.  I'm Sergio, this is Stake.

Banana salesman:  How about the cat?

Sergio:  The lion's name is Castle.

Banana salesman:  My name is True.  I'm actually on my way to Yarx. I've got a big rig.  If you help me load the bananas I'd be more than happy to take you the rest of the way.  (Stake and Serge look at each other and shrug.)

True:  Load em up!! (True has created an incredible machine to load the bananas.  Serge pops a balloon with a force wave.  A feather escapes and tickles the toes of a sleeping nymph.  She laughs and sits up hitting her heard on a platform.  A can of beans rolls off and falls into a glass.  The platform sinks and releases a machete that swings cutting the rope of a catapult that sends a nymph in a helmet flying over with a parachute and a blowhorn

Nymph:  Move em out cows go go go!

(They are frightened and start galloping off.  They are tied to a net containing a gigantic load of bananas.  They split up and the bananas are hoisted onto the back of the big rig.  Another nymph closes the pull down and locks the back. True ends with a glass of milk.  Aaahhh.  Serge and Stake look at each other and high five.)

Episode 4

(Serge has fallen asleep in the cockpit of the vehicle.  He begins to dream.  Drream sequence begins)  Basel is on a fixed gear. He stops to do a trackstand.  Does tailspin hopping over handlebars and lands in a trackstand.  He begins to ride.  He is dressed in full messenger attire.  

Basel:  Hey Serge, I hear you're gonna be in Yarx, hit me up dude! I've got a document here for you that I''ve delivered to Merril's, it's an old stationary store that we used to rack from.  It's a right of passage that you will need to get you to the Amulet of the Sacred Heart.  I'll explain more later.  Toodles, I gotta get tatted after my next run.

Serge awakens and True has arrived at a small shack where he is selling off the load of bananas to a business owner.  He climbs to the top of the truck and opens the back letting the bananas slide all over the ground.

True:  Enjoy! (He says with a smile.  He hops back in the truck.) Hey thanks again for coming with.  I have one small errand to run.

Stake:  Which isss?

True:  To find my wife.  

The Legend Of ETF (Truck drives into the distance)

Stake:  Mind if we come with?

True:  Not at all.  I could use the company actually, she stays with a graffiti crew whose name is  ETF, they have a mission for my wife to do before we get married...at least I say she's my wife.

(We find ETF inside of a dingy old apartment with high ceilings. The room is reminiscent of an old drug den, cluttered yet fancy, and covered in tags. There are five people, one standing.  We hear the door ring.)

True:  BUZZUP!  Hey can I come up?

Spake:  Yea that's chill, come on up! (Hand on buzzer)

(Oner turns to leave)  Yo I gotta leave theres peopl--

Spake:  It's chill.  

This is Big Lug, he is the leader of the team.  Big Lug is using a 3d computer that surrounds the room.  He is using scarlet sage which provides him with a brain chemical that allows him to control his virtual realm in cyber space.  

Serge, Stake, and True enter the room.  

Big Lug:  True!  Buddy, long time no see!  How long has it been?

True:  About three months

Big Lug:  Naw man, it's been a year!  Don't worry, we've been waiting for you (Sniff's fingers)  Here smell that?  (Puts fingers in front of True's nose, he refuses.)  It's your wife's butthole, don't worry we've been keeping her safe, well, I have.

True:  You make me want to vomit.  

Big Lug:  I'm just messing with you man.  You know it's all love. Now come here.

(True receives bearhug from Big Lug)  True:  Can't breathe.

(From corner of the room)  Guy with teddy bear aka Spake:  I've been so lonely.

Big Lug:  I'll give you a squeeze.

Spake:  I'd rather vomit.  

Guernica:  I hear this little voice.

Toubolde:  You sure you're alright?  I mean maybe you should take your meds.  (To Big Lug).  Man he's depressive.  Shyaa!  We all hear voices!

True:  So what's the plan?  I sold the bananas and made a mint!  I could live off this for the rest of my life.

Big Lug:  So the plan is to do a hangover.  I mean hang off.  Sorry the scarlet sage tends to have its effect.

True:  Doesn't the fall cause us to, um, die?

Big Lug:  I've created a program that allows the user to create three dimensional holograms that transpose upon any outdoor surface in the natural realm.  Of course it will be seen in public, but nevertheless nothing illegal.  And yet illegal (stares off into space).

(In a bubble)

Big lug:  There are two ways into the application.  The old fashioned way, which I use, might hurt your head.  The other way is to use a VR helmet.  To each his own.

(A Safari van is flanked by two vespas.  They are going Straight to L.A.  To the heavens...)

Rivera, Toubolde, Big Lug, Spake, True, Stake, and Sergio are crouched on a grassy embankment on the side of the freeway in L.A..

(Cats purr).  

Deb:  Hey guys I'm here!  Can I help?  I brought cans.

True:  Thank the lord!  (gives her a big hug)  

Sergio:  Well, I thought about it, I could climb up that pipe, cut the razor wire.  shimmy over to the far left above oncoming traffic while the wind billows me around.  Or I could just point and click (Snap!  Snaps his fingers.  And a funky hologram that reads “Sergio” appears on the back of the freeway sign.  I'll watch, you write. Maybe take flicks (hands in shape of camera).

As a team they climb like gorillas up the freeway sign's column.  

Rivera:  We're about to f*ck this sh*t up

Toubolde:  Be the cockiest you can be on this sign.

Big lug:  Be careful.

True:  I feel vomit coming up.

Deb:  This is a humdinger.

(They are all on the freeway sign facing camera as the platform begins to wobble.  Focus on Deb and True *his outfit looks like Tie's she's his twin)  

Deb:  Here, my love, man up, spray safe.  Soon I'll be your bride.

(They all do pieces, they go big.  They shimmy back down and the reader has a look at their pieces, they appear holographic, slightly blurry.  They all climb a ladder over the freeway wall to a tree, working their way down the limbs to a small drop.  As soon as they land they see police lights flash and hear a Bloooop!)

Police:  (Over loudspeaker)  Hold it right there!

Rivera:  Vamanos!

(The team jets to the Safari van losing the police temporarily. They all pile in.  The van squeals off as do the vespas.  The team dumps their bags from the moving vehicle.  They turn a corner and cop lights flash.  Five police vehicles are now on the team's tail.  The engines rev and the police start to overtake the vehicle, a dark shadow followed by a low hum. )

True: What's that noise?

There is an aircraft floating above the speeding cars.  

Aircraft:  Calling all cars, calling all cars, stand down immediately from the high speed chase.  Do you read, this is the chief of police, Bob Barx of the Yarx police department, I've got a team with me, we'll take it from here.

(Sirens go silent and police cars slow to a stop)

Deb:  Shiiiiiiit!

Big Lug:  Looks like we got a fun run.  (Big grin, steps on gas)

They hear a rumbling and the vehicle starts to shake.  The car illuminates.  We see a beam of light coming from over head from the ship.  It seems the aircraft is actually a U.F.O.  The beam abducts the safari and the vespas.  The team is now inside the ship.  

Loudspeaker:  Hey, are you guys alright?  Come into the cockpit, we would love to meet you.  

Spake:  Okayyy?!

Everyone makes their way into the cockpit where there are two extraterrestrials sitting smoking scarlet sage.  They turn from the window which looks at the stars.  

Alien:  (Inhales, holds breath)  Hi. (Exhales deeply).  I'm Hans, this is Alfredo.

Alfredo:  Ciao. (Sips espresso with pinky out)

Hans:  Welcome to the brotherhood (says with smile) we saw what you did back there, takes gusto, how exactly, how, did that come into fruition?

Deb:  Well see, I'm due to be married to Truesy here, so for a final bow, we decided to do this Heaven in L.A.  Holographic style!

True:  That was a rush, I see what you guys live for.  Kiss me sweetie.  (Puckers up)

Deb:  Ah, ah, ah, not in front of the gang!

Hans:  We are graff writers too.

Spake:  Oh yea, (chuckle) what do you two write?

Hans:  I write Hans.

Alfredo:  And I write Alfredo.

Spake:  Uh. Cool.

Rivera:  Not to be an earwig, but what's the plan?

Hans:  Oh we'll come out of orbit in a sec.  One full revolution which will take about 3.5 seconds and we'll land back in Yarx.

Big Lug:  Just in time for you two to be married.  (Smiles as he chews eclaire).

(UFO lands back in Yarx in someones backyard.  Family is confused. Cut to True and his wife Deb in the back of the banana truck making love below a banner that reads “just married.”)

Episode 5  

(Sergio and Stake are eating ramen in Yarx, at a corner bar.  The Lion is outside.  They have their own glasses of a potent steaming potion.  

Sergio:  (Sips) Have to get that right of passage

Stake:  Got that right.  (Sip)

Sergio:  Check!  (Put one hand up)

(Cut to Sergio walking with lion.  Stake is a bat.  As they walk strangers thought bubbles direct them)

Stranger 1:  (Face covered in 9's) The right you seek.

Stranger 2:  Is in a cup..

Stranger 3:  At the bottom of a well.

Sergio:  (Pulls out map of Yarx) Let's have a look see.  (They are a blip on the map).  There's a well here near the sewage containment facility...or there's one here in the castle yard of this castle. (Looks at map, reads Gronkagel).  I detect castle guard (Points to blip on map.)  It's a balrog.  I figure it's the one with the balrog.

(Scenes of travel, the life is colorful, homeless, street hustlers, restaurants, basic city scene.   The scene changes to the country side, life slows down.  Eventually they reach a tall hill on which the castle Gronkagel lies.  They begin their hike.  They reach a wall with a tall door).

Sergio:  Hey Balrog!  Balrooooog!  Hm. No sign of him.  I guess we play the breaking and entering game.  

 (Sergio points to the top of the wall and Stake flies up and over. First a rumble then a creak.  Doors open and Stake stands.  Sergio enters.  As soon as he enters three palace guards come to greet him.)

Castle guards:  (In unison)  Welcome to castle Gronkagel, where the Gronk! (Bonks Stake and then Sergio with a spear) Comes first.  You have been knighted!

Stake:  Ssss! (rubs head)  you're god awful but I accept.

Sergio:  Yea, me too.  Say, what is there to do here in Castle Tintag- I mean Gronkagel?

Castle guards:  (In unison)  We have a well, and a tower that oversees the land.

Sergio:  Take us to the we--

Stake:  (Overlapping Sergio) to the tower!    

Sergio:  I mean to the tower.  That would be very nice.

Castle guards:  (In unison)  Very well.  (They turn and start to leave the castle.)

(All five start to climb the tower stairs).

Castle guards:  As you can see--

Stake:  So anyways (Throws castle guard off  ledge)

Sergio: (Knocks castle down with lightning bolt).

Castle guards:  Would you look at that?  Better go check on the Bal-

Sergio:  Have another taste of lightning!

(Serge knocks them into a pile with bolt of lightning).

Stake:  Oh suck my cock!  What about the Balrog?

(Balrog gets up from pile of rubble)

Balrog:  So much for my nap.  Feel like I hit me head.

Sergio:  (From tower)  Lightning bolt!  Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! (Shoots three to Balrogs chest)

Balrog:  Ow, oh bullocks!  Let me guess you came for the write of passage?  Well if you want it that much come 'ere then.  I'll lower you into the well.

Stake:  Oh yea right! (In a yell)

(Serge and Stake approach pile of rubble)  

Balrog:  (Takes flight)  I mean come 'ere!

Sergio:  Oh I see by here, he means come to us (under his breath).   Attack!

Stake:  (Pulls out dagger )  

Sergio:   You're never gonna get anywhere with that!  (Pulls out dagger.  Jumps at his neck and Slam!  The balrog slams him into the tower floor.

Stake:  (Jumps onto the balrogs neck and with his cape makes him blind.)  Please hold.

Balrog:  (Takes flight).  

Stake:  Let's go for a ride!  (Balrog throws him off)

Sergio:  Long jumps onto his neck attempting to strangle balrog with a whip.  

Balrog:  (Falls into a swamp in the forest.  Balrog is out cold.)

Sergio:  So much for balrog.   (Pulls out map.  Blip turns gold)

(Sergio and Stake walk through the rubble).

Sergio:  Go down

Stake:  Kay

(Stake turns into a bat and flies into the well.  He nosedives into the water, sees a sewer rat, and winks.  Finds chest because of it's glow, and brings it up over the well wall.  Sergio makes finger into a key and slides into lock.  He opens chest and inside finds a cup. Inside is the writ of passage.  It glows.)

Basel:  You've got the writ!  Cheers to you!  (Takes a sip of beer.) Now for a pint of Eastvleteran.  The best beer in the world.  My fellow monks and I brew this stuff.  It is highly rated and always sells out, gets better with age, we know from experience.  A word of advice for whenever the fear hits, no one rules the world so until then fight for your breath.  By the way, what does it say?  Points to the writ and takes note.  Smiles.(Scene ends).  

Stake:  Hey can we go to Dragonvild, my wife is there, I thought she might like to meet up for an exchange...there be dragoooons.  

Sergio:  Down for whatever, as long as it's on the way.  I'll ask Basel the next time I sleep. (Hops on Leo Stake is a bat, they take off in a dynamic closeup from the side.)

Episode 6

(At camp at night.  Sergio is about to pass out, Stake is awake.  Sergio is resting on Leo.  Stake looks at a small heart locket.  The picture is of his wife, she winks and smooches.  He smiles adoringly.  She then picks up a small rat, and drains it's blood with her fangs. Stake does the same thing.  The rat squirms and then goes limp. Sergio looks at him with his eyebrow raised.  Stake tosses the rat aside and pours himself a glass of wine, then pours Sergio one. Stakes wife drinks wine in the picture frame.  Some drizzles down her cheek.

Sergio:  Ooh, thiz wine izz ztrong.  (Passes out).

(Basel appears in a spiral in Sergio's dream.  He has a baby pet dragon.  He is feeding him an omelet).  

Basel:  Hello my boy!  It seems you are on your way to Dragonvild, where you will enjoy food, drink, and many a dragon like this little tired tyke.  (Feeds him omelet).  The whole town is dedicated to dragon preservation, hence the ancient architecture *reminiscent of gaudi* and abundance of gold.  Keep in mind Stake is a sex slave to his wife so they will be in bed almost the whole time.  So build capital while you are there.  I suggest you join the dragon racing league, with your experience riding dragons as a child you should be a shoo-in.  So shoo!

(Leo stirs, awakening Sergio.  As usual, the fire is out, Stake is asleep amongst a pile of dead rats.  Sergio opens a can of beans and puts some steak and eggs on the griddle).  

(The scent drifts into Stake's nostrils Snif! Followed by Sss! He's awake.)

Stake:  Can I have some?

Sergio:  Nah, can't.  (Serves him up a dish)

Stake:  If you say I can.

(A small gnome comes and sits by the fire.)  

Small gnome:  Mah!

(Stake serves up some eggs on a plate to the gnome and licks his teeth with a smile.  Travel scene through the forest.  As usual Stake is a bat.  They approach the town on a hillside.  The scene overlooks the town.  When they arrive at the gates, they are greeted by butterflies.  Serge approaches a dragon rental.  Stake goes to find his wife.  There are several dragons in disrepair in a pen and one handsome stud.)

Sergio:  Hey there, how much for this handsome stud?

Clerk:  Actually that one is a girl.

(Leo purrs).

Clerk:  She'll cost you approximately 15 quid a day plus tax. You're already insured with the umbrella insurance, but you won't need it.  That one there knows what she's doing.  (Points and winks). We'll include a manual on how to feed her, a leash, and a saddle. She's very friendly.  She eats mostly fruit that is native to the land.  Any experience handling or riding dragons?

Sergio:  Yes when I was very young until I was a teen.

Clerk:  Then this will come naturally to you.  She regularly races in the minor dragon racing league but this is her off season.  So don't you dare race her or it'll be your head.

Sergio:  (Smiles).  I wouldn't dream of it.  (Puts fifteen coin down on the table.  One of them spins).

(Stake is walking along a cobblestone street.  He is alone.  He arrives at his wife's residence.  It is a tall Gaudi-esque villa.  The placard near the door reads “Chateau d'omnivore.” He rings the doorbell, which sounds like a screech.  The door opens and a woman's arm reaches out and pulls him in.  He has one dozen roses behind his back.  The door shuts.  His wife stands before him, one arm up and one arm down in a long dress).

Stakes wife (Vive):  Here I am!

Stake:  I haven't seen you in a long time.  I got these for you. (Hand is out with bouquet).

Vive: (Takes bouquet smiles with greedy eyes then throws them behind her. She goes in to kiss his neck and puts a hand on his crotch.

Stake: (Looks calm and bashful as she kisses his neck)  Oh how I've missed you.

Vive: (Takes his hand)  Come to the bedroom, I've got a lot to show you.

(Back to Sergio)

(Sergio stands in front of a banner that reads “Dragon Racing Major League Tryouts Today.”)

Clerk of the course:  Alright, you've made the cut.  What's your dragon's name?  

Sergio:  T

Clerk of the course: Well then we'll see you and T next day of the Sun.  Be prepared because the Marauders from the middle east are coming to town.

(Back to Stake)

(Stake and Vive are making love in a bed that looks like it belongs in a castle.  She orgasms.)

Vive:  ��Ooooohhhhh!”  (We see her “O” face) I'm cuming, hard!

Stake:  Me too, my love.  

(She leans in to kiss his mouth).

Vive:  I've missed your sperm.

(Stake and Vive cuddle in each other's arms).

Vive:  I've got new stationary.  It's cool I'll write you a note.

Stake:  I'd like to read it sometime.  Perhaps I need to check on Sergio and his dragon quest.  

Vive:  I'll strangle you if you do.

(Stake smiles).  Mmhmm, sure you will.

Vive:  Or maybe I'll write Pavel a note.  You know, just to apologize.  

Stake:  Mmhmm, sure you do.

Vive:  So how did you like our rape?

Stake:  Well, I sure did have fun raping the girl from the ville--

Vive:  Maybe I'll rape the bard, he plays guitar.  In fact I already did.  He has a humongous-- (bites her lip)

Stake:  Eh, no.  That was just his fantasy.  Let it all be a dream.

Vive:  I'd rape you.

Stake:  No, we'd make love.

Vive:  Like we just did.  I need a snack.

Stake:  I'll fix you one.  Fruit, with a cup of.

Vive:  Dragon blood.

Stake:  K.  Be back in 5.

(Cut to Sergio.  He is in a field with a dragon.  In the distance a stranger who is female plays fetch with her dragon using a large bone).  

(Leo rubs against Sergio and runs to catch a field mouse).

Sergio:  Ok, T, to win this race we're gonna need a little cooperation.  (Tries to mount her.  She roars and spits a ball of flame).  Okay really, I cannot.

The dragon from across the way runs into their camp and catches a bone knocking into Touloula.  They flit).  

Girl from dragon camp:  Hey over there!  I apologize for my dragon. Having trouble with yours?  Here's what you do.  Take the tip of your finger and prick it then place a drop of your blood in the dragon's eye.  See what happens! (She winks and takes bone from dragon).

(Sergio frowns.  Takes out knife from sheath and pricks finger.  He calmly takes Touloula's bridle and squeezes a drop of blood into her eye.  Her pupil dialates all black then it squeezes back to a slender half crescent.

T:  Mango.

Sergio:  You want a mango?  

T:  Yess pleasse.  I will be your mizztrezz.

Sergio:  Hey now, slow down.  I'll go find you some fruit.  How bout an apple?  

T:  I'd prefer a Mango.  (Burps a flame).  It helps me concentrate.

(Leo comes over with a mango in her mouth, and drops the mango at his feet.  Then goes to play with field mouse.

Girl From dragoncamp:  Here boy! (Tosses bone).

Sergio:  Okay, let's see what you can do.  T, go get it!  (Throws mango into the air, and without a moments notice T leaps into flight and chomps at the mango.  T lands on ground softly.  Whump!  Girl from dragon camp claps).  Good job, T!

(Back to Vive's bedroom).

Freshening up in mirror in bathrobe.  

Vive:  Oooh my fangs are so sharp.  Ladadee, ladada.  (Spritzes perfume on neck).  We see a bat at the window sill.  Then two.  (Vive sees in the mirror over her shoulder, then drops perfume.  The perfume breaks.  Smash)!  

(More bats fly to the balcony rail.  There are now ten).  

Vive: (In shock).  Gasp!

Two bats turn into vampires on the balcony

Vive:  Pavel!

Pavel:  Steal your gold...WIFE!  (Smashes door with cane).

Stake:  (Bursts through the door.  He is nude.  He drops the tray and wine).

Vive:  (Grabs dagger from the dresser).

Stake:  (Runs in front of Vive).  (To her):  Stay back! (Equips cane and draws a fiery blade).  Stay away from me!

Pavel:  Hisss!  

(The bats on the window sill leave in a flurry.)  Scurry!

Stake:  (To Vive):  Go to the other room!  I'll handle them.

Vive:  We'll fight them...(Dagger turns into a torch)  Together.

Pavel:  Come, now my dear, don't do anything too hasty.  

Vive:  Die!  (She jumps through the air dagger in hand).

Pavel:  (Sidesteps.  Crack! He uses the handle of his blade to hit the base of her neck).

Vive:  (Winces and cries in pain).

Stake:  Vive!  (He lunges and catches Pavel on the arm with his blade).  Yaaah!

Pavel:  (Holding arm).  Kisssss your wife...GOODBYE!  (Throws high kick which Stake guards).

Stake:  Knees Pavel in the groin.

Vampire 2:  (Grabs Vive and holds her unconscious body underneath her arms.  He has a knife to her neck).  Stay back!  I'll kill her if you move.

Stake:  You wouldn't.  

Vampire 2:  I will too!  Try me!  (Presses blade to her neck).

Pavel:  Stake, she's not your wife.  She's a vampire now, not an elf.  You would be too if you started acting like one.  We'll hold on to this one until you get your act together.  This is for the time oh I dunno, you cut off my head?  Oh, and do bring me the amulet, it is also oursss!  Meet us at Chateau d'Ormsby by 5, the day you were wed.

(Vampire 2 backs up onto the balcony with Vive.  Eight vampire bats lift Vive by the arms and carry her from the balcony.  They all leave in a flurry).

Vampires:  She's our familyyyy!  What a rapist!  They captured it in crystal!

Stake:  Noooooooooooooooooooooo.  (Looks down

[josephkitchen0]

Buckeye Enthusiast Keeps Heritage Hens Safe With Livestock Guardian Dogs

By Brenda M.Negri – You can hear the dedication and sound reasoning in Washington farmer and heritage Buckeye breeder Barbara Judd’s voice when she says why she uses Livestock Guardian Dogs to keep her rare breed of poultry safe from depredation:

“Buckeyes were once in the Critical Category established by the Livestock Conservancy. I decided the best protection I could give them would be Livestock Guardian Dogs.”

Using Livestock Guardian Dogs (LGDs) to keep sheep, cattle, goats, alpacas, and other mammalians safe from harm is an age-old practice, although relatively (approximately 30 years) new in North America.

Some of the more common LGD breeds in use are the ever popular Great Pyrenees, Akbash, Maremma, Kuvasz, and Anatolian Shepherd. Rare breeds such as the Spanish Mastiff, Pyrenean Mastiff, and Karakachan are increasing in popularity and use. Putting LGDs to work to guard poultry, ducks, turkeys, geese, and guinea fowl is more of a recent movement in line with the increased number of hobby farms, small family ranches, and homesteaders. It’s a commitment of time, patience, and more patience, but LGDs can be successfully trained to guard poultry, and many have come to depend on their dogs to keep their flocks safe from depredation.

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Ensuring your pups are raised around chickens and taught how to behave around livestock can add peace of mind to the chicken-raising operation.

Barbara Judd agreed to share her story as to how she came to raising Buckeyes on her Washington farm, eventually choosing two sibling LGD pups and two adult siblings from my ranch and kennel operation in Northern Nevada.

“I had decided I wanted to breed Buckeyes. I had fallen in love with their personality, and their story is intriguing as well,” says Judd. “Buckeyes are a notably personable breed, very active and noted for being especially vigilant in the pursuit of mice. They also are very friendly with people and lack the tendency to feather-pick each other. The males emit a full range of sounds beyond those typical of many other chicken breeds, including a dinosaur-like roar!”

Judd subsequently got on a wait list for chicks from Laura Haggarty and Pathfinders Farm in Kentucky, and received her hatchlings in spring of 2014. Recently Judd moved to a 55-acre farm she calls “Froghaven” near Salkum, about an hour north of Portland. Here she plans to increase her Buckeye flock.

“My goal is to become the go-to person for Buckeye chicks and pullets in Western Washington,” she said. “I love this breed. They are a great dual-purpose chicken for homesteads and fit in well with a back-to-the-farm sentiment.”

Barbara further adds: “The cocks can grow to eight or nine pounds and are good meat birds. While as layers they are not quite as productive as a White Leghorn, for example, I understand them to live and produce for a longer period of time than the breeds that were developed for their egg-laying ability alone.”

Barbara’s new farm has a host of predators and wildlife, as did her previous one. She admits to not having given much thought to predators at first, but one day commented to a friend, “If I lose a bird to a predator, it will be that one,” pointing out one of the gold sex-links she had. Less than a week later, she discovered a pile of gold feathers, not 20 feet from her house, in the afternoon. Her dire prediction had come true. She immediately began researching how to keep her chickens safe. “My chickens were not raised to be coyote food,” she quips.

Judd read about LGDs: “But I was extremely put off by the prevalent and popular descriptions of hands-off training and minimal human interaction. Any dog I own is a part of my family, and I felt the hands-off, do-not-touch descriptions I read just didn’t make sense for us.”

Later that summer she lost another hen to a coyote. Now, she was determined, as well as furious, and bound to find a solution. Judd spent the evening researching LGDs on the internet and found me.

As it happened, I had a litter of LGD pups on the ground at the time, sired by my trusted old Great Pyrenees, Peso, and a rare Italian import Pyrenean Mastiff female, Atena.

Barbara sent me a puppy application. “The stars aligned,” she chuckles, and the Judds became proud new owners of Lucy and Patty, nicknamed, “The Pockets,” as they were the two smallest pups in the huge (16 puppies) litter. As if predestined, they also hung out together and were inseparable. Barbara took the pair home at about 10 weeks, and LGD Chicken Guarding 101 began!

Patty and Lucy’s litter had already been exposed to my own mixed flock of 40 Cochin, Brahman, and Polish layers, with daily visits into the coop and chicken yard. Barbara wisely bought two siblings who roughhoused with one another and wore each other out playing instead of taking out their young energy on livestock and fowl. The pups had also been exposed to neighbor children, cattle, and sheep and were showed great promise as guardians.

“Which brings up another point,” Judd adds. “The importance of selecting a knowledgeable and reputable LGD breeder. I had always had rescues as pets … these dogs were to be working dogs, not pets. They were to be socialized and part of the family but I needed them to be LGDs — guaranteed — not maybes.”

The Training

Once settled in at the new home, Patty and Lucy’s training continued with older, calm hens who were less flighty, and thus less inclined to tempt the pups into chasing. Judd made the training time a “treat time” by positive reinforcement. Each pup received a treat before each short, 10- to 15-minute class. Soon, they were reminding her it was time for school.

“I knew this process would take weeks, if not months,” Judd adds. She kept the chickens and pups in a small, very manageable area and sat with them. No distractions were allowed: no pet dogs, no children.

“We spent time just hanging out with the chickens, and always ended on a positive note before they got tired.” As time progressed, “The Pockets” became calm and confident around the fowl, remaining alert and interested, but no inappropriate behavior. Judd increased the time the pups were with the flock gradually.

“I came at training the pups in a slow and systematic, careful manner. I learned … from previous dog trainers and read the books by noted dog behaviorist, Turid Rugaas. The pups became part of the daily chicken routine. As puppies, they needed protection too as they were far too young to fend for themselves, so they were never left alone overnight, for example.”

Judd was also learning about unique LGD behavior, which is markedly different than non-LGD breeds. “I can say they are nothing like other dogs I have had. They won’t fetch, they don’t play tug o’ war. They do seem to notice every detail around them.”

Judd’s observations are accurate. LGD breeds guard on instinct, not so much training, although the owner will enable, foster, and encourage that guarding instinct with positive reinforcement and gentle reprimands when a pup makes a mistake. Tying a dead chicken around a pup’s neck is an oft-quoted “solution” for problems but only encourages confusion and distrust in the pup and shouldn’t be done. There are no shortcuts to doing “Chicken 101” with LGD pups, and the owner has to commit to the time and patience it takes.

One night, Judd woke to one of the pups barking at a bookcase. “I had moved a large photo onto that bookcase, and Lucy noticed — something’s not where it belongs!”

A more telling incident happened a week or so after Barbara brought The Pockets home:

“We’d spent a lot of time around the chickens, in their run or out foraging. One early evening we walked by the run and no chickens were in sight. Patty was immediately stressed! She sat down, whining at the run. The chickens had simply put themselves in the coop for the night, so when the hens poked their heads back out to see what the commotion was about, Patty relaxed and was immediately satisfied.” Judd continues, “You could see the wheels turning in Patty’s head. ‘Oh that’s where they are. OK, everything is fine now!’ I was amazed and impressed. These were certainly the right dogs to protect my chickens.”

From the time I began raising and using LGDs, I have always understood the importance of running these dogs in the right numbers — just as they are in Spain and other countries where the pastoral life is still alive and very much a fabric of their society. I’ve continually lectured my clients about the advantages of running enough LGDs to properly cover the acreage, terrain, predator load, and stock they have.

Barbara Judd acquired her LDGs from Brenda Negri. The litter had 16 pups, and Judd took the two smallest pups.

Dogs, like humans, must sleep and rest too, and one LGD cannot last long if it is expected to carry the load of three or four dogs. In addition, should one dog become ill or injured, by removing him from duty, an operator’s flock or herd becomes immediately more vulnerable to attack. Where predators can easily take down one LGD, a pack of three or four dogs will present a much more serious deterrent to threats. On my ranch, my several dogs work in “shifts,” so there is always coverage, 24/7. Some dogs may do a “perimeter patrol” farther out at the edge of my five acres while the others stay closer to the flock, barns, and my house. Although my closest neighbors continually lose goats, sheep, horses, calves, pet cats, and chickens to packs of coyotes, feral dogs, mountain lions, and birds of prey, I have never suffered a single loss here.

As introductions currently progress at Froghaven Farm, “The A-Team” is getting to know “The Pockets” and all is going well. The Judds will keep their heritage flock of Buckeyes safe and sound from depredation with four very devoted Livestock Guardian Dogs. “Since we brought Lucy and Patty we have never lost a single bird,” Judd says, and with the addition of two more dogs, they won’t be losing anything in the future, either.

HOW TO BUY A LGD PUP

• Buy pups who are only purebred or crosses of purebred, recognized LGD breeds. LGD breeds crossed on non-LGD breeds are unpredictable and high risk.

• Buy from established breeders who will give references, customer support, and have a proven track record of producing good guardian dogs.

• You get what you pay for. Quality LGD pups typically start at $500 and go up from there. Quality going adults can cost $1,000 on up.

• Never bring a pup home younger than eight weeks of age and make sure all puppy vaccinations are complete, as well as several dewormings.

I• f possible buy pups that have been started on and exposed to poultry and fowl. Make sure they have been regularly handled and socialized with people and are not skittish or frightened when approached.

• Make sure your fencing is puppy escape-proof and secure.

• Remember that rearing LGDs to guard poultry is a labor-intensive endeavor with no magical shortcuts. Patience, time, and persistence are keys to success.

• LGD pups take up to two years or more to fully mature. Don’t expect adult work from an immature dog.

Originally published in the February/March 2016 issue of Backyard Poultry and regularly vetted for accuracy.

Buckeye Enthusiast Keeps Heritage Hens Safe With Livestock Guardian Dogs was originally posted by All About Chickens

[animalistauntamedblog]

“To protect a rare Central Asian goat—and the snow leopards that depend on it—conservationists are turning to an unlikely ally: trophy hunters,” writes wildlife reporter Jason G Goldman

Goldman is tracing the footsteps of avid trophy hunter Bill Campbell, a doctor with his own private psychiatry practice. Several months before, Campbell had made the 5,000 mile journey from the US to the ‘rooftop of the world’, the remote Pamir mountains of Tadjikistan with the single purpose of adding a rare markhor goat to his extensive trophy collection. He paid $120,000 for the privilege of shooting it.

“It’s probably the most expensive hunt in the world,” Campbell says. “This is basically where my income goes.”

This is what a markhor looks like (alive) with its characteristic twisted horns, and this is where they live.

By the early 90s in spite of their nigh-on inaccessible habitat, markhor were close to extinction, the inevitable result of local poaching for meat and a certain amount of illegal trophy hunting. In 1994, in stepped the IUCN, placing the goats on the Red List of species that are Critically Endangered. Over the following decade numbers rose sufficiently for the species to move up a level (or down, whichever way you look at it) to Near Threatened.

Goldman asserts that during his trip to Tadjikistan, “I learned that wealthy hunters like Campbell are the main reason that Bukharan markhor still exist at all—despite how uncomfortable that truth may be.

“Some hunters, of course, are almost certainly engaged in a vainglorious pursuit of power. But after spending time with dozens of Tajik hunting guides and wildlife biologists on two markhor hunting concessions in southern Tajikistan, I discovered that painting the entire hunting community with such a broad brush ignores a reality: the trophy hunters who attempt to engage honestly with the thorny ethical quandaries underlying their pastime, who go out of their way to have their fun in an ecologically and socially responsible manner.”

Seriously? Who is he kidding? Is he really expecting us to feel for the mental and emotional turmoil the poor hunters suffer while they are ‘having their fun’, rather than for their innocent victims, trying to survive and rear young in a harsh environment, suddenly confronted by a man with a gun?

Goldman continues to embellish the myth of the sensitive soul that is the trophy hunter. He quotes the reflections of another of the super-rich, this time from South Africa, who trekked for days over inhospitable mountain terrain to get within shooting range of a markhor: “You’re faced with sadness and joy. Joy that you achieved what you did, but there’s a sadness associated with it. It’s a very emotional time when you look at an animal you’ve just killed.”

O  –  M  –  G

Sadly Bill Campbell’s hunt too was ‘successful’. “It was a beautiful animal in a beautiful setting. It was the most exciting hunt of my life.”

Wayne Pacelle, CEO of the Humane Society of the US is also a man who knows how to hit his target, but his weapon is words: “Cruel, self-aggrandizing, larcenous, and shameful,” is his judgement on trophy hunting.

The concession where Campbell bagged his markhor issues only one hunting licence per year. As Tadjikistan is an exporter of gold, the argument goes that selling licences to rich hunters like him enable privately held lands to be managed for wildlife, when they might well otherwise be despoiled by mining.

But licence money alone is not enough to halt the decline of these rare goats. Not unless villagers are incentivised to stop poaching. The goats’ value is not in some (illegal) internationally tradeable commodity like elephant ivory or rhino horn. Their value is as a local source of food.

The long-established Torghar Conservation Project in neighbouring Pakistan that both pays the locals as game guards and also turns over to them the ‘lion’s share’ of the meat from licensed hunting suggested a possible model for Tadjikistan.

Enter Panthera, the only organization in the world devoted exclusively to the conservation of the world’s wild cats. Panthera gives support to the local communities in the form of wildlife monitoring training, as well as hardware such as binoculars and vehicles. The organisation’s interest in conserving markhors however, is only as the preferred prey of snow leopards. More markhors mean more snow leopards.

To this end they are happy to assist the local people not only to interface with their government and the IUCN, but also international hunting organisations. Not just WWF, then.

This is the official version of what happens to the $120,000 Campbell and his ilk hand over for their licence to kill:

$41,000 to the Tadjiki government

Of that money, $8,200 is channeled into national government coffers

According to the Mamadnazarbekov, Deputy Chair of the Committee for Environmental Protection, ‘a fair amount’ of that $8,200 is used ‘to benefit wildlife and the public’

The remaining $32,800 is split between regional and local authorities

‘Most’ of what is left of the $120,000 after the government takes its cut stays with the private hunting concession and pays for the markhor’s protection, as well as community projects like water pipes and funding for schools

Even Goldman though, the hunters’ apologist is forced to admit:

“It’s hard to determine how much of what Mamadnazarbekov describes is true. Several sources told me that some money must also be spent making various payoffs that aren’t legally justifiable, and that the government doesn’t necessarily spend its share of the revenue as they are supposed to. In a country with a per capita GDP of just 804 U.S. dollars, it’s not hard to imagine why many people here would want a piece of the action. Bribery and corruption may simply be part of the cost of doing business, even when that business is wildlife conservation.”

How easily ethical concerns are dismissed when it comes to justifying trophy hunting.

Goldman continues, “It’s difficult to argue with the results, at least so far. More than 10 years of intense effort have allowed the markhor population in Southern Tajikistan to flourish.”

Well, as a matter of fact, we could argue with the results. Describing the markhor population as flourishing might be over-egging it. Remember that in 2015 the markhor graduated from Critically Endangered on the IUCN Red List to Near Threatened? Well, this is how IUCN defines Near Threatened:

A taxon [species] is Near Threatened when it has been evaluated against the criteria but does not qualify for Critically Endangered, Endangered or Vulnerable now, but is close to qualifying for or is likely to qualify for a threatened category in the near future.”

Not quite out of the woods yet.

But Tanya Rosen, Panthera’s director of snow leopard protection, reckons to have seen a welcome rise in the cat’s population – we’re talking small numbers here, from 6 to 10. Nevertheless, the highest density of these rare and elusive creatures seen anywhere in the world.

Goldman concludes, “Isn’t it better to sacrifice a few old animals [markhors] in order to maintain an entire functioning ecosystem?” Many of us would answer “NO, absolutely not”. The markhor may not be as iconic as the snow leopard, but its life counts just as much.

In a country with such amazing scenery, wildlife and culture (the ancient Silk Road from India to China runs right through the Pamir mountains), there is much for any visitor that does not come to kill.

BirdLife International has designated a large area around the famously beautiful turquoise Iskanderkul Lake in the Fann mountains an IBA (Important Bird & Biodiversity Area).

Migrant bird visitors and residents include Himalayan  snowcocks, saker falcons, cinereous vultures, yellow-billed choughs, Hume’s larks, sulphur-bellied warblers, wallcreepers, Himalayan rubythroats, white-winged redstarts, white-winged snowfinches, alpine accentors, rufous-streaked accentors, brown accentors, water pipits, fire-fronted serins, plain mountain-finches, crimson-winged finches, red-mantled rosefinches and white-winged grosbeaks.

The dramatic rugged terrain makes it a mecca not just for birders, but for all wildlife enthusiasts and nature lovers, as well as trekkers, climbers and photographers.

Karakul Lake – Wiki Creative Commons

Moreover, Pamir Mountains Ecotourism is ready and waiting to put together your own tailor-made tour. It wouldn’t be cheap, but I doubt it costs $120,000. And isn’t that a much better way to conserve the majestic landscape and all that call it home, human and nonhuman?

Yet no qualms about killing goats on the rooftop of the world trouble the conscience of psychiatrist/hunter Bill Campbell.  “I feel good about it in my heart because I feel like I’m promoting really effective conservation,” he says.

Well that’s all right then.

It’s little surprise to find that Campbell is a buddy of dentist Walter Palmer, the infamous killer of Cecil the lion. “I feel sorry for him,” Campbell says. “I think that the people who lynched him [online] don’t realize how much he has done for conservation. I wouldn’t be surprised if Walt spends $250,000 to $500,000 a year hunting. And the people who are lynching him donate 25 bucks to the Sierra Club. Who’s done more for conservation? There’s no comparison.”

Spitting feathers anyone?

  More petitions:

Please sign & share as many as you can – unrelated to Tadjikistan and the markhor, but  important nonetheless

BAN Breeding, Trading and Trophy Hunting of Wildlife in South Africa

Mr Jacob Zuma, President of South Africa: Ban ALL Forms of ‘Canned’ & ‘Trophy’ Hunting In South Africa

EU Please Ban The Import Of Wildlife “Trophies” into Europe

Yolanda Kakabadse WWF: End YOUR Trophy Hunting Safaris in Partnership with USA TH Dallas Safari Club

Stop trophy hunting giraffes

More to be found here. Some are closed, but many are not.

Sources

Shoot to Save – bioGraphic

Iskanderkul – Wiki

Related posts

Shooting lions (and other things that move)

What’s in a Name?

Endangered Animals As You’ve Never Seen Them Before

Man, Money & Rhinos – Unravelling the Tangled Knot of Poaching

    Shooting Goats on the Rooftop of the World "To protect a rare Central Asian goat—and the snow leopards that depend on it—conservationists are turning to an unlikely ally: trophy hunters," writes wildlife reporter Jason G Goldman…

[avidbeader]

Voltron fanfic: “Scattered” Chapter 14

Season 2 AU. No ships, K+ to T rating. Begin at the beginning here.

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Desai burst into the conference room where Iverson, Baker, and several other officers were arguing while they waited for General Benítez to return. The medtech began babbling something about Kogane before Iverson had the chance to tell her off for breaking the lockdown protocol. Then he began to decipher what she was trying to say.

 “…going to wake up. Maybe by the end of the day! He’s going to be all right!”

 “That’s good, that’s very good! But you shouldn’t have left your post or been moving around during the lockdown. We’ve got an alien ship up there and until we can establish communication with it we have to keep everyone out of the way.” Iverson picked up a radio from his desk. “Squad 1524, report in. Someone needs to stay in the room with Kogane until Desai and I return.”

 There was no answer.

 “Squad 1524, acknowledge!”

 Baker picked up his own radio. “All Earthforce units, we suspect a security breach. Everyone inside the main building, surround section L5 and move in. Everyone outside, you are authorized to fire on the aliens if they attack first.” At his words, the klaxon began to sound across the campus.

 Iverson snarled at him. He couldn’t belay that order from his own radio because the Garrison and Earthforce operated on different frequencies.

 But he could do something else, something that would be more effective than trying to fight Baker for his radio. “Dos Santos, Montgomery, I am ordering the arrest of Captain Baker for trespass on Garrison property. See that he does not leave this room or use that radio until further notice.” He turned and raced from the room.

<> <> <> <> <>

 “Sam! Matt!”

 Sam saw his wife snatch up the tablet and stare into it, trying to convince herself that what she was seeing was real.

 “Yes, Colleen, it’s us. We’re back…well, almost back. Shiro and Katie are taking care of something and then we’ll figure out how to get to you.”

 “Katie? How…how…what happened? Have you reported to Earthforce yet?”

 “No!” Matt cried at the same time that Sam shook his head.

 “Colleen, whatever you do, do NOT contact Earthforce or the Garrison! They’re holding Shiro and Katie’s team member prisoner—that’s what they’re doing right now, trying to get him back.”

 “Katie’s…team? I don’t understand! What’s going on? Where were you? You’ve been gone over a year, Katie’s been missing almost seven weeks—”

 “I know, I know!” Sam tried to head her off before she lost control.

 Next to him, Sam heard Matt hiss under his breath, “Over a year?”

 “Colleen, let me explain. We made it to Kerberos safely, but were captured by a scouting ship belonging to a race of aliens called the Galra.” Behind them Sam could hear the princess directing the team and tried to condense the story. They might be needed. “Matt and I ended up separated from Shiro, put in a work camp of sorts, until a few days ago when we were freed by a member of the Voltron Force, a kid named Lance from the Garrison of all places.”

 “Lance McClain is alive? What about the Garrett boy? We were told they were killed in a training accident!”

 “No, they’re all fine. Look, we have to help when the team gets back to the ship. I swear to you we’ll be back in touch the second we can. Trust me and don’t do anything!”

 The elf with the mustache shouted, “Matt! I need you! Get in the green station to monitor those troops!”

 “Yes, sir! Love you, Mom!” Matt left his father’s side and Sam saw Colleen gasp.

 “We will see you soon, I swear!” Sam blew a kiss to his wife’s tear-stained face before breaking the connection.

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 Pidge sliced the door in two with her blade and Hunk pushed the pieces apart. The four of them poured in and looked around, seeing no one else in the room but Keith, unconscious and strapped down on a gurney. His armor and helmet were piled on a table against the wall.

 They all deactivated their cloaking devices. Lance moved to Keith’s side and started pulling electrodes off him. He looked around for something to cut the straps, flashing back to a previous rescue with Shiro and Keith’s places reversed.

 Pidge went to the laptop and began tapping keys, scanning the resulting information. “Ugh, this isn’t good. They knew he wasn’t telling them everything about what happened, so they drugged him to try and get more. But for some reason Keith was able to resist normal doses and they doubled the prescribed amount and they still couldn’t get anything out of him.” She scrolled down. “Same thing with the sedative. They poured three times the normal amount into his system, along with large amounts of adrenaline trying to wake him from that. It’s a quiznaking mess!” She paused, her eyes narrowing on something flagged in a blood test result.

 In the distance, an alarm began to blare. They all heard Allura’s voice as she monitored the movement of the garrison troops. “At least two squadrons are coming, from opposite sides, toward your location. You need to hurry!”

 Shiro glanced out, seeing the empty hallway but hearing running feet in the distance. “Any ideas on getting out of here without having to attack anyone else?”

 Lance looked up. “L5 is one story, isn’t it?”

 Hunk grinned. “I think you’re right.” He held up his bayard and aimed the resulting cannon at the ceiling, adjusting its firepower to full. “Take cover!”

 Pidge slapped the laptop shut and grabbed it. Everyone dove under a table or counter, with Shiro lowering the gurney and pulling Keith to shelter behind him. Hunk fired twice and retreated behind a cabinet to avoid the resulting rain of debris. Sunshine streamed in through the ragged hole left in the roof.

 Shiro used his cybernetic hand to rip away the straps holding Keith down and heaved him up in his arms. “Allura, we’re coming up. We may need covering fire.”

 Pidge scooped up armfuls of Keith’s armor, dropping everything on the gurney with the laptop and pulling up the cover around it all to use as an improvised pack. Lance summoned his own rifle and brought it back to full power.

 Shiro looked around to make sure everyone was ready. “All right, team, let’s move.”

 Hunk activated his jet pack and rose first, ready to fire. Shiro followed with Keith. Pidge stayed close, carrying Keith’s belongings, and Lance took the rear.

 As they started flying toward the Castle, the troops outside began to point and mill around. Lance tried a few careful shots near larger groups, hoping to confuse or scare them without hurting anyone. Allura added a warning strike from the ship, which seemed to change someone’s mind.

 “Quiznak! Incoming!” Lance began firing more frantically as someone had decided to aim shells toward them. Hunk joined him and they shot at the larger projectiles. Thin energy bolts erupted from the Castle, pinpointing launchers one by one with care, sacrificing quick neutralization for minimal casualties.

 “Pidge, scatter!” Shiro cried as he tried to focus on getting to safety and trust his teammates behind him.

 “No way!” she shouted back, maneuvering in front of him and bringing up her shield in order to protect Keith. A shell that the others had missed exploded some fifteen meters from them, rocking them and slowing their ascent.

 Pidge saw the next missed shell behind Shiro, coming straight at him, and tried to move her shield over his shoulder to defend him. She deflected it, but as it careened away it exploded. Shrapnel lodged in Shiro’s jetpack, knocking out one thruster and throwing him off balance. He was losing his grip on Keith and Pidge tried to help him while hanging onto her burden…

 And an enormous roar sounded as the Red Lion streaked toward them. It neatly nipped and suddenly all three of them were sprawled on the ramp that formed the Lion’s tongue, safe inside the jaws. Shiro and Pidge yelled and grabbed for purchase as the head snapped around so the Lion could collect Lance and Hunk. With all five of them inside and protected, the Red Lion made for its hangar.

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 Red felt the physical contact with her Paladin as he slid from Shiro’s grasp across the ramp and their connection snapped to full strength like two powerful magnets joining…

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 …the link he was following exploded into flame-like light around him, driving the darkness back as it surrounded him…

 RED?

 I have you, my Paladin!

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 The Red Lion landed in its bay and lowered its head so the Paladins could exit. The restored connection sang through her, from nose to tail. The other Lions sent their relief and joy to her and Black suggested that Blue should return from her escapade.

 Blue agreed, but deliberately veered to the west for the return trip. There were so many more population bases to buzz in that direction…

 Black gave a mental sigh. Her Paladin was definitely rubbing off on Blue.

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 Iverson burst into the communications center and unceremoniously dumped the guard monitoring the console from his chair into the floor. Entering his override code with quick jabs, he brought up access to the public address system.

“STAND DOWN! ALL UNITS STAND DOWN! CEASE FIRE!”

He moved to the observatory glass just in time to see the red lion ship snatch up the armored figures and retreat to the giant white starship. A bubble with a grid pattern appeared around the entire structure. With no small targets left, the forces outside stopped firing.

Iverson turned back to the console. “There has got to be some way for us to talk to them! Jameson, get up and help me!”

<> <> <> <> <>

 The media outlets were going nuts. They had no official confirmation of anything yet: no issue of military information, no press conference or statement from the executive branch. A few mayors had spoken to the press about an alien ship passing overhead from close range. Social media was ablaze as more and more pictures and vids of the ship were posted and the recorded conversation between some princess of Altea and a couple of military personnel was rapidly climbing the list of the most shared links ever.

 In a house in Varadero, a few blocks from the beach, a pair of sisters were glued to their tablets, their heads together as they refreshed their timelines and shared new updates with one another. Mina found a link claiming to be the recorded conversation that had been reported so widely and followed it, turning up the volume so Sara could hear. Their eyes widened at the fury in the woman’s voice before an equally angry deep voice shot back.

 “Cadet Kogane is a member of our forces, one who disappeared in suspicious circumstances. His actions suggest treason against Earth. We need answers!”

 “He’s not a cadet, he’s a civilian! You kicked him out for being a discipline problem! That’s how I ended up fighter class!”

 The listeners’ ears perked up at that.

 “You heard my Blue Paladin. You have no authority to detain a member of the Voltron team. Release him and send him to his ship, now!”

 “Wait a minute. Is that Cadet McClain?”

 The girls looked at one another in shock. “Play that again!” Sara ordered.

 Mina did, zeroing in on the familiar voice and looping it.

 “He’s not a cadet, he’s a civilian! You kicked him out for being a discipline problem! That’s how I ended up fighter class!”

 “He’s not a cadet, he’s a civilian! You kicked him out for being a discipline problem! That’s how I ended up fighter class!”

 They bolted to their feet and ran to find their parents, planted in front of a television news bulletin that was currently outlining the path of the alien ship zooming across North America. Their voices ran over one another as they rushed to impart their news.

 “Mamá! Papá! We heard Lance!”

 “Lance isn’t dead! He’s on that ship!”

 Seamus McClain rarely shouted at his girls, preferring to leave day-to-day discipline to his quick-spoken wife. But faced with the shattering news that aliens did exist and possibly were not friendly and then two screaming girls, he yelled, “Stop, both of you!”

 The girls fell silent and shared a look before they nodded. Sara dove for the television remote and muted it while Mina refreshed the browser to play the recording from the beginning:

 “I am Princess Allura of the planet Altea. I am here to reclaim my Paladin and his ship, the Red Lion. Where is he?”

 A lion’s roar sounded in the background.

 “You imprisoned him? You drugged him? How dare you! Release him at once or face the consequences!”

 “Cadet Kogane is a member of our forces, one who disappeared in suspicious circumstances. His actions suggest treason against Earth. We need answers!”

 “He’s not a cadet, he’s a civilian! You kicked him out for being a discipline problem! That’s how I ended up fighter class!”

 “You heard my Blue Paladin. You have no authority to detain a member of the Voltron team. Release him and send him to his ship, now!”

 “Wait a minute. Is that Cadet McClain?”

 “Identify yourself.”

 “I’m Commander Iverson. I’m the one who convinced Keith to come out and talk to us. Then Earthforce chose to double-cross me and took him. He’s being held in the medwing, section L5, under heavy guard. They’ve begun the process of transferring him to another facility.”

 “Iverson, I’ll see you court-martialed for this!”

 “The hell you will, Baker! You were one of Darzi’s people, weren’t you? He’s not here now to back you up!”

 “Enough! For the final time, release my Red Paladin and allow him to return to his ship!”

 “Negative. You have no rights to an Earth civilian.”

 “Paladins, retrieve your missing comrade. Try not to hurt too many of them in the process.”

 Rosa Salguero McClain fell to her knees, grabbing for her husband’s hand. “My god…that was him! That was Lance!”

 McClain grabbed his phone to try and dial someone, then hesitated as he realized the only people who could verify their son’s whereabouts were still up to their ears in dealing with the larger situation.

 His wife, however, did not hesitate. She got to her feet and retrieved her own phone to open a vid call.

 McClain blinked as the tearstained face of Colleen Holt appeared on the screen. “Rosa, I was trying to decide whether to call or not.” She was wiping her eyes but smiling.

 “Then you’ve heard the recording? You were right. Lance is alive and I am so, so sorry for not listening to you.”

 “Recording? No. Sam contacted me. They’re all alive! Him and Matt, Katie and Shiro, your Lance…they’re all alive!”

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 Shiro carried Keith straight to the cryo-healing room, Pidge at his heels with the laptop from the medlab, and found Allura there first. She gasped at Keith’s limp body and Shiro hastened to reassure her as he knelt on the floor and rested, propping Keith against him.

 “It’s all right, Princess. A little time in one of the cryo-pods to flush the drugs out of his system and he’ll be just fine.”

 Pidge set the laptop on the center console and opened it. “I just need a few minutes to break a password and get these two machines talking to one another. Then we should have a record of exactly what they did to Keith. That will tell the cryo-pod just what he needs.”

 “I hope you’re right.” Allura crouched beside Shiro and reached out to touch Keith’s face. She gasped and pulled her hand back as if burned.

 “Princess? What is it?”

 She looked at her hand, puzzled and a bit frightened. Slowly she reached out and took Keith’s hand, her brow wrinkled in concentration. Shiro inhaled sharply and Pidge’s eyes widened, seeing their joined hands start to glow. It was like the glow that had enveloped the Balmera when the princess had directed the rebirth process.

 “What is it?” he repeated.

 “He’s…he’s practically bursting with energy! It’s as if he’s been dipped in pure Quintessence!”

 Pidge frowned at that. “How could that have—”

 “Princess! We need you in the control room now! Someone from Earth is trying to hail us!”

 Shiro jumped to his feet. “Let’s get Keith into a cryo-pod and go.”

 Allura shook her head. “I can’t leave him! I don’t know that a pod can deal with that energy! Perhaps I can—”

 “You have to go, Allura! We have to get both sides talking if we’re ever going to sort out this mess!”

 Pidge let out a satisfied sigh as she got the two machines linked. The first item that popped up on the Altean screen was the blood test and she glanced hurriedly at Allura before adjusting the screen to hide it. “Look, I’ll stay with Keith. He’s stable and obviously not going to get any worse now that he’s with us and not being pumped full of drugs. Maybe let some of this energy dissipate before trying the cryo-pod. When you get back I might have some answers and we can let the pod do its job.”

 Both of them stared at her and Allura voiced the question. “Why you?”

 “Because part of the conversation is almost certainly going to involve us and our families and how long we’ve been gone. I’m not needed since my dad and brother are already here and they can contact Mom as soon as there’s a chance to.”

 “They already have,” Allura replied faintly. “Coran helped them.”

 “There you go, then. I’ll take care of Keith. You go diplomat us out of this mess.”

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  Hunk and Lance entered the control room to find Shiro and Allura in a heated debate, with the Holts to one side and Coran to the other, looking uncomfortable. A signal for incoming contact beeped in the background.

 And then they registered Allura’s appearance. She looked like Shiro’s sister, from the dark hair and eyes to the pale gold of her skin…and round ears.

 “It’s what we always do!” Allura shouted. “We blend in!”

 “You can’t do that this time! If you make even one slip and they realize you presented a false front, any hope of negotiations will vanish! If there’s one thing our military hates, it’s being lied to!”

 “Oh, that’s rich coming from them! They lied to your people about what happened to you!”

 Suddenly Matt stepped forward. “Um…I think the point is moot. When we contacted my mom, she could see you two in the background. She already saw you were different.”

 Allura turned on him with a glare as Shiro gave her a snarky smile of triumph. “Trust me on this, Allura. Change back to yourself before you open that channel.”

 She huffed, but closed her eyes. Her hair faded, her skin darkened, and her ears stretched back to their usual pointed shape. When she opened her eyes, they were back to the usual brilliant sky blue. “Happy now?”

 “Well, not exactly, but it’s one less thing to worry about.”

 Allura turned to Coran. “All right, open the channel.”

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