#Butcher On Steroids

[underground-hip-hop-affiliated]

[klapollo]

the way sesame street, a pbs puppet show for literal babies, is pressing on with pride content despite vitriolic monsters descending on every post to insinuate they're pedophiles or demons while some of the biggest companies on the planet who could swim in olympic swimming pools of money like scrooge mcduck on steroids buckle and cave just emphasizes how completely and utterly pathetic these corporations are. they'd butcher a baby if it meant saving a penny.

[sayitwithsarcophilus]

Concept: Horus Heresy real-world AU (I hesitate to call it "mundane") where the Emperor and his sons are a professional wrestling family. (As that is another milieu suited to OTT drama between very large men with humorously on-the-nose names and thematic gimmicks.)

You could go the Lighter and Softer route in which everyone mostly gets along fine backstage and the big tragic drama is strictly in-the-ring, but tragedy-plagued wrestling families have plenty of precedent if you wanted to parallel canon events more closely.

[come-on-darling-honey]

colourblind [paul lahote x reader]

AN:// this pushes all of the wolves and new moon plot to summer.

summary: based on this post of how the shift Paul and the others experience would give them physical attributes akin to a wolf, which is being colourblind. Which Paul finds himself in, until of course, he sees you for the first time in months on the first day of summer.

warnings- mature language and themes. one suggestive scene. 18+ word count 10k.

“La Push baby! Its LaPush!”

“Do you have to say that every time we go to LaPush?” I asked, staring at the back of Mike and Eric’s heads in the van. They were singing and screaming into the warm air as we drove down to First Beach.

“He said that to me when I first came to LaPush,” Bella added, meekly. I laughed, lightly pushing against her. She was wearing a white blouse and tan shorts, opposing my dark shorts and tight blue shirt, Angela had gotten me it when she went to the Grand Canyon with her family. It read “visit the Grand Canyon today!” on the back, so ugly I loved it.

“He’s been saying it since we were five and our parents would carpool us in the summer.” I whispered to Bella; we were both laughing at the terrifying attempt from Mike to sing ‘Wanna Be’ by Spice Girls. Butchering the lines didn’t matter to Mike, it was summer. First day of it. Bella was finally out of the pit she had found herself in.

I’d spent almost every Friday and Saturday night of the past seven months sleeping over at the Swan house, waiting for Bella to come through. At first it was scary, the screaming and the vacancy of her mind, but she’s better now. At least I hope she is, Charlie thinks so, but I’m worried she’s becoming dependent on our friend Jacob. Coming to First Beach did mean a far chance we could run into Jacob, but it also means she’s surrounded by other people, and as annoying as Mikes singing is, I can tell she’s enjoying it.

“Are you okay?” I heard Bella say, we’d parked, and the boys were getting their surfing gear on. I hadn’t even noticed; Bella was wide eyed like a little deer and grasping onto my shoulder. “Is it to do with Paul?”

“No,” I laughed uncomfortably shaking her off as I got out of the seat into the back, taking of my clothes to reveal my favourite bikini underneath. “Not even thinking about him.” Which was true, to an extent. I had been thinking about Paul Lahote all morning and all last night and the day before, and every day since three weeks ago but that wasn’t in this moment. So technically… not a lie!

She watched me in clear disbelief but didn’t push it. She knew some rumours about Paul from Jacob, not kind ones but as the days go on, I’m starting to believe them myself. Hall monitors on steroids. “What book are you bringing?” Bella asked, changing the subject.

“The Metamorphosis by Kafka, are you rereading Austen again?” I said, searching through my bag for suncream. The only way id gotten Bella to agree to coming today was to promise I’d stay by her side all day and we can just read on the beach. Which worked out well for me, I always hated getting changed after leaving the ocean, everything stuck to you; clothes, sand, everything. She nodded and sheepishly pulled Persuasion out of her bag. Bella grabbed the towels we were going to lay on as I surveyed the beach for the best spot, there were a lot more people than usual but it’s what I expected. The remote spot in the south corner seemed perfect. Setting down camp, I heard laughter and colliding footsteps coming towards us, Mike, Eric and now Tyler ran to our spot, and all jumped over one another to lay on the sand. Not a single cloud in the sky, not that the boys noticed, too busy apologising to Bella for covering her towel with sand. Laughing it off quietly she shook the towel and threw all the sand on the boys. She stopped laughing as she looked over my shoulder. Standing up I saw, Sam Uley talking with Jared, Paul and Embry? But Embry was huge and at least half a foot taller than when I last saw him. They began kicking a ball around until Paul suddenly turned in my direction. Swivelling quickly, I stared into the sea. Sitting down on my towel that I was apparently sharing with Jess, I looked over at Bella. Giving me a comforting smile, she nodded towards our books that sat in the bag at the foot of her towel.

A few hours had passed when Jacob and Quil had made their way over to us, Jess, Angela, and the boys had all decided to go on an impromptu adventure leaving Bella and I in peace, that is until Quil collapsed on my towel and Jacob calmly sat next to Bella.

“See how normal Jake is?” I asked kicking Quil with my foot, “Be more like Jake.” They all laughed as the fiend on my towel rolled over.

“Figured you needed protecting.” He said, puffing his chest put lightly with a boyish smile.

“From what?” Bella laughed.

“Lahote’s been staring at you for a while,” Jacob said staring at me. Turning around I saw Paul from a distance, I could barely make out his face but saw that he definitely wasn’t happy.

“Well thank you gentlemen, but we can handle ourselves.” I said, laughing when Quil got hit with a rouge baseball.

We spoke for a while, making jokes at each other’s expense and avoiding the subject of Embry completely. Bella and I had come to an unspoken agreement that if they wanted to talk about it, they would. I looked around the beach and saw a stall on the pavement beyond the pavilion, an old lady selling handmade jewellery. I told Bella, Jake, and Quil that I was going to see what she was selling and grabbed my purse from my bag. Making my way over across the hot sand I regretted not grabbing a shirt from Quil or Jake or even making a detour to the van, so many people were looking at me, even if they were wearing the same thing, I felt so exposed.

“Hello dear, having a good day?” The lady asked as I finally reached her stand. We spoke about the weather and then about her creations, one with a beautiful orange crystal in the middle had caught my eye. “Citrine, they bring positivity and happiness” she winked once she caught where I was looking. I grabbed my purse but before I could hand over the $5 someone else passed it to her. Following the tan hand, I saw Paul; he was looking at the lady and explained he’d buy it for me. She smiled and accepted the money, handing him the necklace over. Paul looked at the necklace in his hand and squinted, looking oddly heartbroken.

“I can buy it myself.” I said as he walked a few steps out of earshot of the old lady. He still hadn’t actually looked me in the eye yet. It was infuriating. “You know its super fucking rude of you to ignore me for weeks, replace me with new friends, act like I don’t exist and then pretend like nothings happened.” He tensed at this; I kept going. “And now you won’t even look me in the eye!” I laughed, his large shoulders straightened, God when did he get so big.

As he turned around something shifted, I’m not sure what but it was definitely something. He stared at me wide eyed, speechless and I saw tension fall from him. But I had no patience for him.

“Are you going to give me the necklace or should I just go and buy one for myself.” This seemed to snap him out of it, he passed me the necklace and kept looking at me. Not staring anymore, more of a gaze. Not voyeuristic as the other gazes from men on the beach but an intimate one, one I wanted to avoid. His eyes are a stunning brown, I think to my painting at home, I’d made him sit for hours, waiting for the result when I’d spent twenty minutes alone painting half an eye, he waited.

Tearing myself away from him I look down at the necklace, it was beautiful. I had to not owe him this. I took the $5 out of my purse and pressed it to his chest. He finally caught on and gently pushed my hand away.

“Take it.” I demanded.

“It’s a gift.” He whispered, the way he used to.

“Please take it.” I begged lightly; I couldn’t owe him for this.

“What is going on?” A harsh voice interrupted us. Quil had stood in front of my right shoulder, not hiding me completely but being a clear attempt to shield me. He didn’t know any of the details of what happened between Paul and I, but honestly, I didn’t either. He just knew how broken I was, crying to him when Bella, Jake, and Embry weren’t around. Knowing I couldn’t handle their silent looks.

“None of your fucking business, Ateara.” Paul snapped, his body tightening. Quil pushed him, suddenly Jared was holding Paul back and Sam had appeared in front of us. He had whispered something to Paul that I couldn’t catch but it looked more like a demand. One I wasn’t entirely sure was in Quil and I’s favour or not.

Jacob had arrived by this point, staring at Embry in disbelief who had told Quil to ‘back off’, Embry was normally so sweet and quiet. The way he was acting as he was influenced by the others was a clear sign to the mentality that I didn’t want anything to do with. Paul had caught my eye from over Sam’s shoulder, a pleading sense to him. I looked away, staring at Quil’s back. I couldn’t do this, get caught up in whatever teenage boy bullshit was going on. I was 18, Paul 19, Quil 17. I had no fucking interest. Ignoring the yells of my name I walked back to Bella who had watched the whole affair in bewilderment. I walked back to Bella in more confidence then when I had left, I couldn’t explain it, but I knew the people looking know, weren’t looking at me and if they were it, was a good thing. Sitting on the towel I thanked Bella for staying with the stuff and picked up my book. Not before placing the Citrine necklace in my bag. She watched me as I lied back down but I couldn’t care, knowing I’d have to tell her every detail later anyway. Jess practically ran to us, monopolising my towel once again and demanding to know what she had seen from across the beach.

“I mean not only was he completely eye-fucking you but who were all his friends?!” She practically screamed, I hit her shoulder lightly with my book for ‘eye-fucking’ as Bella blushed, but explained who the boys were.

“Oh, they’re coming over!” Jess said, elated with the drama unfolding right in front of her. My legs slid over Jess so she wouldn’t leave and who ever was coming wouldn’t stay, which thankfully she understood as she grabbed my legs lightly with a comforting rub.

“Can you believe the nerve of Embry?” I heard Jake yell as he was approaching us, Bella’s cheeks were as pink as Jess’ bikini. Jess’ jaw dropped as she ate up Quil and Jake’s physique, I watched her over my book, smirking as she stared at the long haired boys.

Quil called my name, and I looked up, with my head laid down I saw him as a giant, which made me laugh.

“What the fuck was he saying to you.” Quil demanded, staring at me.

“It’s over, don’t worry about it.” I said calmly.

“Don’t worry? He’s a fucked-up dude! Literally almost exploded on me, again!” he gave Jess context, that Paul had almost ‘attacked’ Quil in a convenience store a few weeks ago. She looked down at me in surprise. I still read my book.

“As hot as he is,” Jess said with Quil and Jake protesting as she ignored them, “no boy is worth it if he has anger like that.” She said with the older sister tone she normally used on her younger siblings. Quil and Jake agreed with her, but Bella stayed silent, I looked at her from the corner of my eye and saw her staring at the pavilion.

“Honestly, if you go back to him, I can’t be your fucking friend.” I caught Quil saying. I stood up so quick I dropped my book on the towel, loosing the page. Where did this come from? Bella, Jake and even Jess went quiet. Quil had snapped, he never snapped at me.

“First of all, that would be my decision, second, I wasn’t ‘with’ him in the first place and thirdly you don’t get to be so fucking rude to me.” I snapped, pointing a finger at his chest.

“He’s a bad fucking person and you know it.” His eyes stared into mine, harsh and true.

“You don’t know him how I know him.” I defended Paul, for some unknown reason. I didn’t even fully believe myself I was just so hurt with how Quil was acting everything was blurring out of anger.

“After everything he did, you’re defending him!” Quil yelled, desperation in his eyes, he was looking at me as if I was crazy, which I was beginning to feel.

“You don’t fucking care about me.” I yelled back. Storming away, grabbing only my bag and purse, leaving my book and towel. All but Quil yelled after me.

Opening the van, Mike was sat in the back struggling to get the sand of his feet. “Pass me my clothes.” I said, I couldn’t hear myself due to the anger raising and blurring everything, but I could tell I was being rude, Mike’s smile dropped into a worried expression as he gave me my clothes. I dressed in silence as he asked me if someone did something, like the protective older brother he always acted like. I shook my head, unable to fathom words that weren’t a string of swears. Did Quil really think that lowly of me? Did he think he could just give me an ultimatum like that, and I’d accept it? Fuck this and fuck him.

I told Mike I was going home and as he asked if I wanted a lift, I slammed the door of the van shut too hard and made my way to the back streets of first beach. I knew if I got to the centre of LaPush that I could find the bus stops I used to use when I’d hang out with Paul. Lead hit me over the head when I thought about him. I suddenly had an urge to sit by his side unlike the recent weeks where id sworn him off and cried and cried.

A truck pulled up beside me, old and worn I recognised it as Sam Uley’s. I looked over to see him sat in the driver’s seat looking at me.

“I’ll give you a ride.” He said, in a way I felt oddly comforted by as I got in. Normally, I would’ve told him to fuck off, but I felt way too emotional to walk the twenty minute walk to the centre of town. We sat in silence for ten minuets after I’d told him my address. I wanted to ask him about Paul, even about Emily and Leah but it didn’t feel right. This would be the fifth time I’d been near him let alone speak to him, so it just felt wrong. But he must’ve been thinking the same thing.

“It’s not Paul’s fault.”

“What?” I asked, looking at him. He was staring intensely into the road, it was weird, it felt like Sam was effortlessly the comforting older brother figure Mike had tried to be. Yet he seemed guilty like he’d made a mistake, not know but before.  

“I told him to stay away from you, it was my fault. He had no choice.” I decided to listen, to make sense of what he was saying. “There’s somethings you need to know, do you remember Emily?” I nodded, unable to speak in fear he’d stop speaking. “I’ll write her address down for you, visit any time and she’ll help you.” How cryptic could one person be.

“Why did Paul listen to you?” I questioned, staring at him. His dark brown hair was swooped back so he could see the road.

“He had no choice, you’ll understand.”

“I don’t understand anything.” He laughed.

“You will.” He pulled over and stopped driving, we’d reached my house. He pulled a notebook from the glove compartment. “Here’s her address and my number if you need a ride.”

“I can get Bella to drive me.”

“No, Bella can’t know about this, it doesn’t involve her. I’m sorry but you must trust me.”

“I tell Bella everything.” I said, taking the sheet of paper from him.

“But does she tell you everything?” he asked, his tone wasn’t accusatory like Quil’s had been, no, Sam asked me like he was genuinely worried about me. He was right, I knew Bella wasn’t telling me something. I couldn’t ask, hoping she’d finally tell me.

“I guess this means don’t tell Jake or… Quil.” He nodded, I got out of the truck, thanking him for the ride.

“You hike a lot, right?” It was my turn to nod. “Take a break for a while, with all those attacks it really isn’t safe.” I agreed, sadly, and went inside, after thanking him again for the ride. “Ever need a lift, just let me know, I’ll sort one out for you.”

I was glad it was summer break. All my free time had been spent on art: painting, sketching, and avoiding literally everything else. I’d been missing all of Bella’s calls and thankfully when she came over to my house I was working. Sam had been giving me lifts to work since I normally did a small hike there. I worked on the other side of Forks at a plant shop and nowhere near Bella. Whatever she was hiding from me had been eating away at me for a while. Summer break had also given me an escape from running into Jess, I loved her, but I had literally no answers for her. And the theories I had were so bat-shit crazy I had feeling no one would believe them.

Quil had called seventeen times. I couldn’t call him back, still angry at the way he spoke to me. Maybe he was right about Paul, but a small voice in the back of my head I’d nicknamed ‘stupid consciousness’ told me I should give Paul a fair chance and listen to Sam. Maybe it was some crazy mastermind ploy to pull down my defences, but id started to befriend Sam, and Emily as she’d joined him a few times to take me to work. I couldn’t figure out why they’d decided to help me out suddenly, but I decided to just go with it, I felt safer, loved and they never brought up Paul.

8:30am on a Tuesday morning I sat in the garden waiting for Sam. My headphones blasting Noah Kahan’s new album. It was chiller then it would be for this time of year, so a loose fleece hung around my body. We had another month of beautiful sun until the constant hood of clouds and rain returned to Forks. I had started worrying this morning that Sam driving me to and from work was an inconvenience, I hadn’t been insecure about this before, but it was daunting on me now. What if I was just pushing him out of his way and annoying him? Annoying Emily? I felt suddenly sick. But the truck in front of me pulled me out of the haze. Sam’s brotherly grin made me smile, my older brother was away at college, and I missed him. He opened my door form his side and I got in, the fear of inconvenience looming over me. Taking off my headphones I heard the soft folk music playing form the old truck. It was a twenty-minute drive to my work; we made nice conversation till Sam said something that struck me.

“Come to Ems tonight, I’ll finally explain it to you.” Weeks had passed since Sam initially asked me, it was clear I didn’t want to ask, so he’d decided to tell me. I nodded, silently looking out the window. Five minutes till we got there.

“Will he be there?”

“Yes.” He was short, sweet, and blunt. I knew I couldn’t hide from this, so I decided to ask what had been looming over me all morning.

“Why do you drive me? You work on the res; this is completely out of your way.” I still held my gaze out of the window. But I heard him grin as he told me.

“Well, I like your company, I always wanted a baby sister,” I scoffed at ‘baby’ which he caught and laughed, “plus it really is not safe if you walk to work, you walk through the bush, it isn’t safe.” His tone was serious at the end. I knew he was telling the truth. When we arrived, he looked over at me, smiling he passed me a brown bag. Holding back a laugh he told me “Em’s worried you aren’t eating enough”.

“She does know I’m an adult right?” I laughed, taking the bag.

“Well do you have any lunch today?” the silence from me made him laugh as I clearly did not, infact, have lunch. I threw a piece of card from the car door at him as I mumbled in protest.

“Pick me up at four?” I asked, putting the brown bag in my own. He nodded, as he drove away, I realised how long today was going to be.

I was right. So annoyingly, right. The day dragged, it felt that five hours had passed when in fact it was only two and I couldn’t even go for my lunch yet. If one more old lady asked me to point her in the direction of the roses, I was going to lose my mind. Not only was it weird that roses were extremely popular among old ladies but that they couldn’t see that the roses were at the front of the store, they were the first things you saw as you walked in.

At 1:25pm I heard a familiar gruff voice echo in the small shop. Charlie Swan. I was praying he was talking to a friend, or that there had been a horrible crime and the shop was under investigation. But as I heard a small, feminine voice I knew I wouldn’t have such luck. Of course, when I was working Chief Swan would decide to finally re-do his front garden. My lunch break was in five minutes if I could just hide here then my 60-year-old co-worker Henry would serve them. Henry was a true one, he’d help me in my hour of need. I hid behind the seeds, staring at Iris in its many forms as I heard Bella ask Henry if I was working too, I wasn’t sure if Henry and I had some super cool intuition or if he had genuinely forgotten I was working as he told her I wasn’t today. As I snuck away for my lunch break, I internally praised Henry for being the best co-worker that has ever lived.

Checking my phone, I noticed a missed call from Sam and a text.

“Can’t pick you up, Em is going to, she’ll be using her truck- its blue same make as Bella’s. Will be there when you arrive. Sorry.”

As weird as that was, I was just thankful I had a ride, I didn’t trust Henry behind the wheel.

The afternoon had passed quicker than the morning, the lunch Emily had made me was embarrassingly good and oddly comforting. As I finished my shift I gave Henry a fist bump, he laughed the way old people do, as a reflex showing that they’ve been laughing all their life. Emily’s blue truck pulled up; it had a better paint job then Sam’s but I had a feeling Sam worked on her truck more than his own.

“How was your day?” Em gleamed as I got into the car.

“Dull but the lunch was amazing, thank you.” I laughed as she grinned like a fool.

“I knew you’d like it! Paul told me you were vegetarian, and I’ve been dying to pull out those veggie cookbooks! The boys always avoid vegetables, it’s ridiculous!” she laughed as I wound the window down, warm air sifting through. My fleece cocooned in my bag form this morning, abandoned in the heat. I smiled, feeling warm at the casual mentioning of Paul. I’d assumed Sam’s business was something to do with work and that it wasn’t my business but at Em’s odd avoidance of it, something felt different.

I’d told her about Henry and Bella, talking more about Henry then Bella, Em laughed so hard she coughed. Pulling up to her house, I was shocked. It was beautiful. When we got out, I stared at the cabin, two stories and covered in flowers and plants. Wooden furniture, big windows, and open doors. It was beautiful. Em pulled me in, it was even more perfect inside. Bright colours and paintings everywhere. Sitting at a round, wooden table Em beckoned me to join her.

“Your home is… wow just amazing,” I was still looking at everything, the open kitchen and dining room was so homely and comforting. She smiled and grabbed my hand.

Emily was one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. The scar on her face to her arm didn’t change that. She was even more beautiful; she wore it proudly. When she smiled part of the scar creased at her eye. Her long black hair hung over her shoulders, bangs perfectly trimmed. My hair was almost as long as hers, but she had a few inches on me.

“How are you feeling?” her caring tone standing through.

“Nervous, I have no idea what is about to happen.”

She nodded, squeezing my hand. “I’ll be here the whole time, if you don’t want to be here at any moment just say and we’ll go, no questions asked.” She must’ve noticed the apprehension in my face. “Nothings going to hurt you, Sam and Paul have made sure of that.” I trusted her, more than I trusted the people I grew up with. I knew for certain there was something going on, that involved Paul and Sam, probably Jared and Embry too. Whatever it was I hoped it didn’t involve Quil and Jake too.

Voices came through the door behind us that led out to Emily’s extensive garden. Sam and Paul came in. Both shirtless and only wearing shorts. Which was weird but I guess they felt the heat more than Emily and I, Emily was wearing a stunning white sundress and I white pants and black shirt, my apron from work stuffed in my bag along side the fleece.

Paul looked at me, he looked horrible, dark bags under his eyes, and it looked as if he had to hold himself back from me. Not in a threatening way, not the relief in his eyes told me this was good, that I was safe. Sam rubbed my shoulder as he passed me to get to Emily. As they hugged and kissed, I saw Paul still watching me, turning back to him I saw the weight in his eyes.

“Are you joining us?” I asked him, an olive branch being thrown in his direction.

He took a moment to process what I asked then silently nodded and sat a chair away from me, which did hurt. But I ignored it and looked to Sam and Emily who had both sat back down. Emily’s hand was once again in mine, Paul looked with an odd… jealousy? Till his eyes trailed up my arm to my neck, where the necklace laid. I’d worn it every day since the beach that I didn’t even think about it anymore.

“So,” Sam started, “there are some things we have to tell you, but I think it’ll be easier if we show you then explain.” Emily’s head snapped to him as Pauls hung in shame. He smiled at her reassuringly and guided us all to the garden where Jared and Embry were talking. They both greeted me with a relaxed voice I was deeply confused as to what was going to happen.

Sam and Paul stood slightly in front of me, Emily’s grip tightened as she held onto my arm. Without warning Jared had… disappeared? And there was a wolf in his place. I looked in frozen shock to Embry who was grinning ear to ear and then his body contorted itself into another oversized wolf. Both started chasing each other and I couldn’t find it in myself to be scared. Instead, I found it hilarious, two boys had just turned into great big wolves, and I was worried about my friend not liking me anymore! All my problems felt so small as I watched them both. Emily pinched me, whipping my head to her in pain I asked her what’s wrong.

“What is wrong? What is wrong! They just shifted into wolves and you’re acting like it’s the most normal thing in the world!” She yelled, trying to grasp anything from me.

“Let’s go inside.” Sam said, leaving Embry and Jared to playfight in the garden. Emily dragged me in, I couldn’t stop watching them. Enamoured by how small it made my problems feel. Everything had been feeling so all-consuming as I experienced every little emotion, it was awesome to feel so insignificant.

“How familiar are you with the tribe’s history?” Sam asked, trying to read me as we sat back in Emily’s kitchen. I finally turned away from the wolves in the garden to face him.

It all hit me, everything Paul had told me growing up and Quil had been telling me before the beach. About the vampires, about the three bloodlines that became protectors. Quil was in that bloodline. So was Jake. Fuck.

“I know a fair bit.” I said. The next ten minutes were spent by Sam monologuing everything they knew so far but I could tell he was leaving something out. Something I knew that I knew. Paul or Quil must have mentioned it. After he had finished, I sat processing, knowing there was something else. The leaches. Was it just the one Sam had mentioned. Oh god. I dropped the glass of water I was holding, Paul caught it.

“The Cullen’s.” I breathed, looking at Sam and Paul in horror.

“You caught that quicker than I thought you would,” Sam laughed, “the treaty doesn’t allow us to tell people what they are.”

“I sat next to them in classes… Bella dated one!” silence. “She knew?” I was bewildered. She knew that Edward Cullen was an ancient old man murderer and dated him? What is wrong with her. I can’t judge her completely, as gross and weirdly necrophiliac as that is, I didn’t know her story. I’m glad Sam warned me that she wasn’t telling me everything.

“Does she know about you guys?” Sam shook his head.

“Only the people in this room, Jared and Embry and the tribe’s elders know. Its safer that way.” I nodded. Embry was 17. He must’ve been so scared.

Suddenly it hit me how cruel I’ve been to Paul; Sam had explained the gag order he’d put on Paul. Thinking about him, I knew there was something else, but I couldn’t help but just feel horrible for how I acted. The way I spoke about him to Quil, not meaning a single word but loving how good it made me feel. Without looking at him I let go of Emily’s hand and held his. He squeezed in and I could practically feel the smile radiating of him. I knew I shouldn’t feel too bad for how I acted; I didn’t know. But I wish I did. Sam explained lightly how his transformation was, how painful and terrified he was. I didn’t want to imagine a similar story leaving Paul’s mouth.

“I’m thankful you told me but why exactly are you telling me?” I asked, Paul stiffened, my thumb absent and idly ran circles around the back of hand as I stared at Sam. He shifted uneasily under my gaze. Which felt wrong, Sam was never uncomfortable. What was he avoiding? What am I forgetting?

A ring ran through the silent kitchen, and I dropped Paul’s hand to look at my phone. Jakes name read across the screen, which was weird. Jake never called me. He texted me when he was picking me up to come hang out and that was it. It’d been radio silence on both ends since I had that argument with Quil.

“Erm, I’m gonna get this.” I went outside to Emily’s front porch rather than the open garden.

“Jake?” I asked to the empty phone line.

“Hello?” He panted; his breaths disjointed.

“Jake what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, something-” he was cut of by a pained groan. “Somethings wrong.” He sounded like a child, one who couldn’t understand the pain of a broken arm or where a relative had gone and why they wouldn’t come back.

“Jake? Is Quil there?”

“No, I just got back from the movies with Bella.” He screamed again. Then began pleading with me. I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly two wolves ran past me into the Woodline, I turned back to see Sam telling Paul and Emily something as he shifted into the clearly biggest wolf.

“Listen to me okay. Deep breaths Jake, help is coming. You just gotta keep calm. Please, okay?” I asked, figuring out what was going on. Jake was shifting. I was panicking and felt like crying at his screams of pain.

“How are you feeling?” a pained yell was all I got in reply, Emily came to the porch behind me and put a hand to my back, ‘keep going’ she mouthed.

“Focus on- Bella! Think of her okay. Bella she’s going to be an anchor for you. Think about her okay. What shirt was she wearing today?” I asked keeping my voice as calm and steady as I could.

“She was wearing-” another scream through gritted teeth.

“Focus.”

“a green jacket, and a white blouse.” I heard crashing through the call, Sam’s voice, more screaming. I hung up the phone. This was too much. Too soon. Emily’s hand ran up and down my back, I was breathing heavily. I only found out about this an hour ago, how was this happening to Jake? Bella had once called him “earthbound sun” and now all I was hearing was his screams of pain playing on repeat.

“Everything will be okay.” She whispered, taking me upstairs into a bedroom. The walls were wooden, and the large bed was plush, and it smelt of lavender when I sat on it. Emily leant in front of me, both my hands in hers as we breathed together, she must’ve gone threw this a few times now. I couldn’t even pinpoint why I was so worried. The idea of Jake or any of them making a mistake and Paul getting hurt was eating me up. As my eyes fell into Emily’s and my breathing matched hers, I remembered the last bit of the story Paul told me years ago.

We were 15, sat cross legged on his lawn. I was making daisy chains as he told the legends to me. He blushed as he mentioned imprinting. The two souls who were destined to meet brought together by fate. How the shifter devotes themselves to their imprint even at the cost of themselves. At the time we both couldn’t comprehend the power of it, we thought it was ludicrous. And it was, a complete lack of agency. But in a selfish way, it was fantastical. My breathing was normal, and Emily sat next to me.

“Did Paul… did he imprint on me?” I asked quietly, scared if I said it any louder id be ridiculed. Emily didn’t say anything, she just squeezed my hands gently.

“Why don’t you stay here tonight? I have some spare pyjamas; I can wash your uniform for tomorrow.” She asked, eyes searching my own. Nodding I waited as she left the room. She told me to start getting changed as she left, stripping down to my underwear I became oddly aware of how insane this was, but I trusted Emily. And I knew now, I was safe. She came in holding a brown tank top and white shorts, they were so soft as I put them on. I was still dazed as the panic left my system; every movement was a cloud in my mind.

“Would you like to join me?” she asked, as I lifted my head up in confusion she continued “I’m going to watch a film, we can watch it together, if you’d like.”

“I’d like that.” I replied, Emily put my clothes in the wash with some of her own and we got comfy on the sofa, I’d learnt the room with the lavender smelling bed was a guest room, and I was welcome to stay over whenever. Emily’s room was just down the hall. Her Gran had left her this house and she spent two years renovating it. She always made sure anyone was welcome here. I texted my parents to let them know I wouldn’t be home tonight, they told me to stay safe and call them if something is wrong. I was an adult, and I knew they liked knowing I was okay.

“Paul stays over most nights,” she said, braiding my hair, “but he sleeps on the couch. I can’t get him to take a room.” I was laying half on her chest half on her the sofa. I felt like a child. It was the most comforting experience of my life. We watched 2005 Pride and Prejudice. Laughing and swooning the whole time. We cried at the love in the film, the hand moments making us kick our feet, giggling. It was relaxing, to be with a friend. One that wasn’t hiding anything. I guess I would be the friend that was hiding something now to all my friends, to Jess, Bella, and Angela. But I couldn’t dwell on that. I told Emily about how I was feeling with Bella, and she told me about Leah, my stomach dropped when she told me Sam gave her that scar.

“I couldn’t be angry at him, what happened to him, to all the boys, it takes away their agency in emotional moments. I forgive him.” She told me, watching the film. Like this was second nature. Merely an afterthought. I knew I was safe here but was that just hysterics? Was I in danger and too naive to notice? No. Sam and Paul care for me. But Sam loves Emily? No. I reassure myself as I fall into a drowsy slumber as Emily ran her fingers through my hair. Sam can control it, so can Paul and Jared and Embry and Jake will be able to.

Warm arms lifted me, I felt the soft plush of the bed beneath me. I wanted to grab onto to the body holding me, my eyes wouldn’t open but I tried. A light chuckle sifted through the air as I finally let go.

A pink sunrise fell over me. I was drenched in the colours. Walking through the house I saw Paul, asleep on the sofa. The pink and purple began to fall onto him, he shifted awake as I made my way to the kitchen.

“Did I wake you?” I froze, looking at him through sleep festered eyes. He shook his head, smiling. We made coffee and cereal in silence, I the coffee and Paul the cereal. As we ate, I asked about Jake.

“He’s better now, the first shift is always the worst. What you did on the phone really helped.”

“All I did was keep him talking till you guys got there,” I said, finishing my cereal.

“He mentioned you called Bella an anchor, that helps more than you know.” He was looking at me intently. Suddenly I remembered my conversation with Emily last night.

“Paul…” Emily and Sam walked in, laughing with each other. I didn’t want to ask Paul with others around. He seemed brighter though, maybe he’d finally had a full night of sleep. Sleep, id fallen asleep with Emily on the couch and woken up in bed. Looking back at Paul, he was already watching me, waiting. “Did you take me to bed last night? You could’ve just woken me.” I laughed, trying to play off my feelings.

Sam laughed, sitting down with a coffee, “You were both sound asleep when we got back, no use waking you.” Emily looked at me, asking if id said anything, lightly shaking my head I pulled myself away from the conversation as they updated Emily on Jacob. From the window I saw the orange sun dance across the green summer leaves, sway through the crisp morning grass. The sun had risen by now, but the early morning was still prevalent in its colourful glory.

Sam called my name, pulling me out of my thoughts. “When do you start work?”

“9am,” I lied. Well, it wasn’t an actual lie, but I had decided I wasn’t going to go to work today, Henry had been telling me I need to take advantage of the paid sick days we get, so today I will. I need to process what the hell just happened. Alone. As much as I want to be here, I don’t know how much more I can handle. Sam had told us he hadn’t expected Jake to shift so soon and Quil’s grandfather has noticed he has a fever. It’s happening too fast and is still don’t really know why I am involved. Expect I do, which makes it so much worse. I would get dropped of at work, and then catch a bus to First Beach, which yes was counter intuitive, but it felt wrong to tell the people who immediately accepted me I didn’t want to be around them right now. I’d tell them id get a ride home from Henry and just walk back home. No, I shouldn’t walk. I promised Sam I wouldn’t walk. I’ll get the bus home or ask Bella as awkward as it might be.

Paul eyed me, brow furrowing. Sam and Emily didn’t notice but I couldn’t help feeling like Paul could read my mind. It feels weird being known so well. I sat with them for an hour or so before going to get a shower and then get dressed, Emily had layed my clothes on my bed while I was in the shower, and I suddenly felt insanely sick at the thought of lying to her.

Wandering back into the kitchen I saw Paul wearing worker pants that were just wow. I looked away before he caught my gaze. My heart beating in my throat.

“Where are you working?” I asked, he was looking for a job before all of this.

“Sam’s construction, he let Jared and I join after we shifted, he runs the business you know?” he said looking at my clothes. Wide legged white pants and black shirt, I was holding my apron, the ugly thing.

“Actually, Sam’s gone in early, so can I drive you to work?”

I nod, grabbing my bag and kissing Emily’s cheek goodbye as she started working on a wooden chair. Emily sold wooden furniture, I made sure to make note of that since my parents were looking at getting a new kitchen done. As we left, I noticed Sam had taken Emily’s truck and left his own for Paul. Fuckers had planned this.

“you’re a horrible liar, you know.” Paul said as we drove away from Emily’s. Is he psychic? “Sam told me you normally finish early on Wednesday’s, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too. I finish at 12, i'll pick you up and explain everything.” I decided to play dumb.

“I thought you explained everything?” his laugh echoed in the car.

“We both know you’re too smart to think that.” The conversation ended, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Not the same feeling as when Sam drove me, this was new.

“You can meet Henry when you pick me up.” I added, laughing at the thought.

“Who?” Paul said, the familiar jealousy peaking in his voice.

“Oh, he’s a real catch, total ladies’ man. I have a conspiracy that we’re psychically linked.” I said nonchalantly, absolutely doing it on purpose.

“That’s cool.” He said, sharply. These three hours were gonna go smoothly.

And they did. I was so excited for Paul to come pick me up I was practically jumping the whole three-hour shift. Henry had been side eyeing me all day, possibly worried I was on drugs or something.

“So, Paul’s going to pick me up and I’d like for you to meet him.” I told Henry as we stocked the shelves, or as I stocked them, and he micromanaged me.

“Eh okay.” He grumbled, I smiled, excited.

As 12 came I was practically glued to the window. Seeing Sam’s truck pull up my chest had a weight lifted off that I didn’t know was there. Pauls stocky figure walked up to the front door, and I beckoned him over to where I stood.

“Where’s this Henry then?” he asked, trying to seem calm.

“This way!” he must’ve been taken back by my excitement as he gasped slightly as I dragged him to the back of the store. “Henry! This is Paul.”

I watched as Pauls deflated face turned quickly into annoyance and relief as he saw Henry, who looked him up and down, grumbled and asked him if he could pick up some boxes for him. Paul agreed, but it didn’t feel like he had much choice in the matter. After ten minutes of Paul moving boxes around for Henry, I finally got him away, saying goodbye we left the store.

“You minx.” He laughed, opening my door for me.

Laughing I asked him what he was talking about.

“All morning. All morning! I spent worrying some hot bachelor called Henry had stolen your heart! Jared was getting annoyed at how pissy I was acting!” he whined, driving to LaPush.

We made it to first beach without Paul ripping my head off from annoyance. I tried not to dwell too hard on his blatant admission to his jealousy. But it made my head spin.

But he went silent as we walked to the rocks on the southside of the beach. Whatever he was about to tell me was very serious, and I was ready to hear. As we sat down, he looked at the necklace I was wearing, the citrine he bought me.

“You know when I bought you that necklace, I had no idea how beautiful it was.” He said, slowly looking up into my eyes.

“What do you mean? The lady handed it to you, I saw you look down at it.” I asked, searching his eyes for whatever he was trying to tell me.

“What do you remember about imprinting?” he asked, his hand lightly holding onto mine, the other splayed against the rocks. He took me off guard which must be visible on my face as he laughed at my expression.

“I remember you telling me about the imprint who saved the tribe from the vampires by sacrificing herself.” It was a harrowing tale, one that even as children Paul and I treaded on lightly.

“Uh huh, anything else?” he probed.

“I know how the elders described the imprint to feel.” At his silence I continued “that the universe centres around them,” I was whispering to him now, “that it is a love of the souls, bonded and combined.” He nodded.

“Anything else?”

“Paul why are you asking me this?” dread filled me, what if he had imprinted on someone else, I would respect it and understand but telling me like this had to be some form of torture. Deep down I knew that wasn’t the case.

“I imprinted on you.” My head whirled. Everything else became singular as I looked at Paul Lahote who became a multitude. “I was scared I’d imprint on someone else, and it’d be me loosing my agency in life you know,” I did, it was what I was worried about. “But I imprinted on you, at the beach. And I’ve always been in love with you. When we were kids and you would always climb the highest tree, never scared if you fell. When we’d braid each other’s hair. It’s always been you, even the fates agree.” The wind was knocked out of his lungs as I practically jumped onto him. My arms around his neck, his around my waist.

I pulled away. Remembering how this conversation started. “What did you mean, when you said you didn’t know how beautiful the necklace was?”

“That’s the other thing, turns out when we shift for the first time, we go colourblind.”

“What?”

“Wolves, they are naturally colourblind, Sam thinks that’s why we lose it, Jared and I used to think it was just another way the fates could steal life from us.” I listened intently. “That was until Sam imprinted on Emily. He said it was the most overwhelming experience of his life, not only because of the horrible family drama but because it was the first time in months, he had seen colour. We realised then that the only way we could see truly again was when we imprinted. You have to understand how terrifying it was after we’d first shifted, I thought I was dying” He took a deep, steadying breath. “After I first shifted you sent me a picture, do you remember?”

“Not really.” I admitted.

“It was of that cloud with the colours on it.” I nodded, remembering. It was a pileus cloud I’d seen in my back garden; he pulled out his phone. Scrolling sheepishly past the texts from him asking to talk to me and then texts from me, begging for an answer. He landed on a picture I sent, on the pileus cloud, they have colours sitting on them, rainbows laying on the soft clouds of the sky. Had I been taking my sight for granted? Spending my whole life gazing while he had it stolen from him?

“I cried for hours when you sent me this, I couldn’t see it, Sam had told me to cut off all contact with you and all I needed was you to- I don’t know- explain the colours to me since I couldn’t see them.” He breathed heavily; I could see the anger weighing on his shoulders once more. I didn’t interrupt him, just placed a hand on his thigh as an attempt to soothe. He smiled gently at this, still looking at the cloud. “It was two days after I’d shifted for the first time, and I was always so overwhelmed. I kept snapping and shifting in a fit of rage.”

As he waited for a response from me, I finally formed a semi-coherent sentence.

“I would’ve done the same. I can’t imagine how it- losing that- I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. If it’s anyone’s fault it’s those bloodsuckers.” He laughed. Smiling at me. We spoke for what felt like hours, it probably was but I didn’t mind. “I’m sorry to unload all of this onto you. I didn’t want to drag you into it, but you have to realise you call the shots, all you.”

“Is this why Sam didn’t pick me up yesterday?” I asked, remembering the hasty text Sam had sent me yesterday afternoon.

“Yeah,” he blushed, “I got angry at him, and he spent the whole day trying to convince me.”

“Couldn’t he just demand it?” the authority Sam had over the boys couldn’t be questioned, but it was a natural thing to him I felt it too.

“Yeah, but I know that he wanted me to make the choice, you’re my imprint after all.” He smiled, putting a hair behind my ear.

The sun had begun to set when Paul and I stopped talking, we’d spoke for hours. Catching up on each other’s lives, I told him about my fight with Quil and how I was feeling about Bella, and he listened. He told me about his dad, who’d decided to go work down south for a few months, leaving Paul the house to himself. That even though he gets the entire one-story building to himself he prefers to stay at Emily’s, he’d always hated being alone. He watched the sun set and I watched him. How it reflected on his clear skin, how his short hair was growing back. He’d explained that they’d all cut their hair after their first shift as to now only be practical but because they were grieving, grieving themselves. Paul was growing his hair again, determined to have a piece of himself back again, the hair length only mattered on the first few shifts. No one was sure why.

Going back to Sam’s truck I hold onto Paul’s hand, pulling him to a stop halfway across the beach. Getting closer to him I felt the warmth radiate from him, he couldn’t help but become the sun. The confused look on his face amused me, as I pulled him in and kissed him. His hand let go of mine as he wove his arms around my waist. My hands going to his back and his hair. He didn’t drive back to Emily’s. We spent the night in his house, the blue walls of his bedroom were known better than my own. Making out on his bed I sat on his lap, pulling his shirt of and then my own he grinned up at me.

“You’re so beautiful.” I didn’t say anything as I unhooked my bra, his jaw dropped slightly, and I blushed. He pulled his own jeans off and then switched our positions, so I was on my back as he took my white trousers of, discarding them somewhere in the room. I felt his lips on mine again which stopped me from staring at his well-defined chest, my hands felt him completely. I reached into his boxers as he whined slightly into my mouth at my slow and teasing actions.

“Don’t play with me.” He whispered into my ears as he ripped his boxers off, slowly taking my underwear off. As I felt him align himself, I looked into his eyes, seeing nothing but love.

Three weeks had passed since I found out about Paul’s imprint. Summer had begun to spread itself thinly and form into fall. I’d spoken to Quil, but he could tell I was hiding something. Especially since Jake had abandoned him without word and so did I. I knew he wanted to be apart of whatever was going on, but we all hoped he would never have to know, never feel the pain they all went through.

I spent most nights at Emily’s and some at Pauls but few and few at home. I wasn’t sure why my parents trusted my choices so much, but I figured they trusted Paul and I’d been a well-behaved teen. They did, however, begin to question why Bella Swan was constantly coming over asking for me. I couldn’t tell her. I still wasn’t over her not telling me anything. But Jake had ghosted her, just after I did. After the Cullen did. She had other friends, but it felt like a really shitty thing to do, I knew if I saw her, I’d just tell her everything. Even if she wouldn’t do the same for me.

I was at Emily’s when Embry, Jared, and Bella Swan herself came into the kitchen. She looked at me in shock and I gestured to the seat beside me, she shook her head. As Emily and I were informed on how Bella found herself in this predicament I laughed at the thought of Jake and Paul fighting, it didn’t surprise me. But I was shocked at Bella slapping him, she defended herself explaining she was angry and didn’t know we’d made up at this point. She didn’t know much. Jared told her that the pack was faster and better than the leaches, Bella seemed to feel more comfortable.

Sam, Jake, and Paul came into the house, Bella seemed to stow herself away in the corner. Her face went bright red after Paul apologised to her and kissed me, Sam complimented how well she took seeing two men turn into wolves in front of her and she laughed it off.

“How are you feeling?” Paul asked as I climbed into bed beside him.

“Tired, Bella gave me a hard time about me ignoring her, she’s right I guess.” Facing him in bed I tried to savour how the moon bounced off him. How he seemed to glow in the blue moonlight. He disagreed, but I knew Paul was biased he’d never really trusted Bella.

“What about Quil have you made up your mind on what you’re going to do?” He asked, kissing my nose as he pulled me to his chest.

“I’m going to go to his house tomorrow. I can’t tell him anything, but I need him to know I’m still his friend and I still love him. He’s one of my closest friends, his love is tough but its true you know?”

“I know.”

“How are you feeling?”

“everything’s getting calmer, but the red leech is still circling, these hikers need to learn to stay on the trail for their own sake.” He laughed; it wasn’t a happy laugh but an exhausted one. “Plus, Quil really might shift soon, I’m not sure how I feel about you going to see him in person.”

“I’ll be okay.”

“Doesn’t make me worry any less.” He was holding me so close, our legs intertwined.

“He knows me better than anyone, which is scary but I won’t talk to him about the fight it doesn’t matter to me anymore. I can’t not have him in my life, it feels so good to be known so well. And not in the way you know me,” I clarified, “he knows me in a way that is tried and true, its not as intimate as how you know me, Quil challenges me, I challenge him. I can’t stand ignoring him.”

Paul nodded, he understood. He just hoped he didn’t shift in front of me.

“I love you.” He whispered into my hair.

“I love you more.” I whispered back, falling into a perfect sleep.

“Are you happy being with Paul?” Quil asked, grey hoodie swamping his tall figure.

“Yes.” I replied, arms crossed over my chest.

“I’m not surprised.” He sighed. Then, crossing the front room he looked out of his front window. “You really hurt me, you know.”

“I know.”

“And you can’t even tell me why!”

“I’m sorry.”

“You, Embry and Jake can’t tell me a single thing!” he yelled, still not looking at me. I had prepared for this, for him to hate me. I just didn’t expect it to feel so horrible.

“I’m sorry, Quil, I really am.” He looked at me, eyes desperate.

“I’ve missed you.” He whispered. Tears in my eyes I ran to him, colliding with his chest we both cried on each other. “Remember we’re not keeping score, no arguments-”

“No winners.” I finished; we didn’t keep score.

As he pulled away, we both wiped at the tears streaming down our faces.

“Lahote? Really?” he laughed; I punched him in the arm. “Ow! Okay, okay.”

For now, everything was okay. I could handle okay.

pauls pinterest board

an:// i hoped you all loved reading this as much as i loved writing it! you can see why its taken me so long to actually write this :') Tumblr always gets rid of my paragraph spacing it kills me:( the word doc for this fic is 19 pages long! this is the longest fic i've written, im very proud of it!! requests are open, take care of yourself. i love you- em x

@ribbons-in-your-hair @notperfect-justme @thebestrouge [you guys asked me to tag you if i wrote anything about this headcannon! i hope you enjoy it!]

[lasagnaisoverrated]

I would like a crossover with tfp and tfa but everybot in tfa realizes how much darker tfp is.

——————-

Blitzwing: this is Blackarachnia as you can tell she is a disgusting techno-organic

Blackarachnia: oh shove it you failed experiment

Knockout: We have or had a techno-organic in our rank but he was actully my ex-husbands corpse that got butchered up and was being used like a body suit by a dirty little organic as a type of life support that we then used as a type of living Petri dish to inject steroids into

Starscrea: that we then injected unicrons blood inside of and then made him into a cannibalistic zombie that sucked out our energon and turned half of our troops into zombies.

Knockout: we all almost died lol

The whole tfa decepticons (Megatron too): ……what!?

[otdiaftg]

The King's Men - Chapter Thirteen

Day: Saturday, March 9th / 10th* Time: 5:00 AM EST

Nathaniel knows the house is finally clear when a door opens at the top of the stairs. Lola is on her feet in a heartbeat. Nathaniel's heart kicks into overdrive, but with Lola's interested stare on him he can't afford to look afraid. He locks a calm expression on his face and watches death come downstairs for him. Two years behind bars hasn't aged his father a bit. Aside from a couple lost pounds Nathan Wesninski looks the same now as he always has. The house is a garish demonstration of his wealth, but Nathan doesn't waste his time dressing up. He see's no need for fancy clothes when he likes getting dirty at work. He comes down the stairs barefoot, wearing dark gray jeans and a black button-up shirt. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and he has his hands in his pockets as he reaches the landing. Cool blue eyes settle on Nathaniel, and Nathaniel has to look away. Lola isn't much safer to look at, but Nathaniel doesn't want to look at the monster who's accompanied Nathan downstairs, either. Patrick DiMaccio is Nathan's live-in bodyguard. He carries himself like he can take on half the world bare-handed, an arrogant swagger backed by three hundred pounds of steroid-fueled muscle. He's never laid a hand on Nathaniel or Mary, maybe knowing he could kill them with one careless hit, but Nathaniel knows how dangerous he is. He is deathly loyal to Nathan, and Nathan trusts him unequivocally. DiMaccio would have been charged with keeping the circle strong in Nathan's absence.

Art used with permission by Rainbowd00dles. Thank you @rainbowd00dles!

*Due to the Leap Year, I have opted to highlight the day rather than the date to keep the events in occurrence to the 2007 year. I will continue to mark both days accordingly.

[sunny-three]

My personal backstory on the wesninski-hatford crime family.

Nathan - I imagine he grew up middle class a fairly normal upbringing a banker father and stay at home he was an only child. He was always good at math/numbers so he goes to university majoring in like accounting or some shit. This was taken from the books I’m p sure Neil mentions it. Anyways Nathan’s always enjoyed fighting like his blood pumping he was actually on the hockey team in high school but kicked off for violence. He meets kengo his first year of university when he got into bar fight and ended up permanently maiming some guys eye with a broken bottle. Anyways all charges against him get dropped bc as turns out the guy that Nathan maimed was one of kengos bodyguards. Kengo introduces himself and offers Nathan some low level work. Nathan agrees and slowly rises though the ranks by doing things for the moriyamas ex. Pushing steroids which actually how Nathan meets Patrick dicmaccio who was on his university’s football team.

Mary - grew as a child in a crime family younges child with some older cousins and one older brother. Her mother died when she was about 14 because of an assination. While Mary’s parents were never really abusive towards her growing up in a crime absolutely impacted her in ways she didn’t realize till she had Neil ex. The paranoid the fear etc. Mary’s parents were never abusive to her but her upbringing was far from normal and damaging to her she never realizes that till Neil’s born. I imagine she saw a lot herself in Neil not just in his personality but in his upbringing as being born in a crime family his isolation as child makes her realizesher own isolation and I think that colours a lot of her dynamic with him. I always assumed that her marriage to Nathan was something that basically arranged/some thing that had to be done which is why she’s so reluctant to trust her family after running away bc they were onboard for the marriage in the first place.

The marriage - I always believed their marriage was a the first attempt at moriyama- hatford alliance it was basically an arranged marriage as kengo didn’t have any kids but Nathan was one of his most trusted subordinates. I think at first the marriage was fine Mary grew up in a crime family she’s been playing this game her whole life and Nathan liked the idea that he was building something of his own the alliance with Hatfords happened bc of him he’s carving out his territory in Baltimore and they’ve stated calling him the butcher. Then Mary gets pregnant and they both think why not? But Neil born everything changes.

Mary doesn’t want Neil in this life at all she’s never realized that how she grew up wasnt normal till Neil was born Nathan doesn’t really like Neil at all he doesn’t pay attention to Neil when he’s a baby and when Neil reaches like toddler age Nathan begins to hate him he liked the idea of having the legend of the butcher of Baltimore continue but practice he finds that he doesn’t really care for the idea of child that squirms during police raids or looks scared when Lola brings him down to the basement etc Mary doesn’t help at all Nathan doesn’t understand why she objects to him taking junior to the basement he never stops Lola from having her fun because junior will need to learn to handle sharp objects at some pint Mary runs away before Lola can properly begin show junior how use the knives . What’s really important to me about Nathan and Mary is that Nathan chose this life and Mary was born into it and while that might sound similar it is vastly different and why they would never really work out.

[peqchys]

proseka song wishlist!!! [as of 08/10/24]

BIT OF A LENGTHY POST BUT i wanted to finally put this somewhere…..it keeps sitting in my notes and getting updated and i never post it SO here it finally is!! i’ll try to keep coming back to it OR making new posts every couple months to add songs or check off any that got put in the game…..yippeeeeee 🎉🎉 [list under the cut!!]

Leoni -

> Losstime Memory - Jin

> Additional Memory - Jin

> Young Girl A - Siinamota

> Reversible Campaign - Deco*27

> Liar Betty - PolyphonicBranch [HonaSaki]

> Doubleganger - KulfiQ [IchiShiho]

> Envy Cat Walk - Tohma

> Orange - Tohma

> Kimi no Taion - Kuwagata P [IchiSaki]

> Candy and Chains - Otetsu

> Raspberry Monster - HoneyWorks

> Chimera - Deco*27

> Deep Sea City Underground - TanakaB

> Lost Umbrella - Inabakumori

> World Domination How To - Neru

MMJ -

> Alkali Underachiever - Kairikibear

> Ai Dee - Mitchie M

> Age Age Again - Mitchie M

> Jump for Joy - Easypop

> Kunoichi Demo Koi ga Shitai - Mikito P [MinoAiri]

> Common World Domination - Pinocchio P

VBS -

> YESMAN - Nilfruits

> Jailbreak - Neru [AkiToya]

> OGRE - Utsu P

> Outer Science - Jin

> Setsuna Drive - 9mm Parabellum Bullet [AkiToya]

> Dance Number o Tomo Ni - Nanahoshi Orchestra [AnHane]

> Bakushou - Syudou

> Unfriendly Hater - Meddmia [AkiAn]

> CH4NGE - Giga [AnHane]

Wondasho

> I~ya I~ya I~ya - Neru

> Hao - Deco*27

> R.I.P Gossip Sea - cosMo@Bousou P

> I AM HUNGRY!! - cosMo@Bousou P

> Snobbism - Neru

> Ohedo Julia Night - Mitchie M [EmuRui]

> Yubikiri - Scop

> Mitsugetsu Un Deux Trois - DATEKEN [RuiKasa. a girl can dream]

> Skeleton Orchestra and Lilia - Tohma 

> Mr. Schadenfreude - Hitoshizuku x Yama

> Positive vs Negative Club - Wonderful Opportunity [NeneKasa]

> Dream Eating Monochrome Baku - Nem [RuiKasa or NeneKasa]

> YABABAINA - satapanpi

> Parry - Miyamori Bungaku 

> Darling - Maretu

> Nobody Makes Sense - Pinocchio P [RuiNene]

> Kiss the Villain - 40mP

> Shama - Nilfruits

> Lavie - Surii

N25 -

> aishiteitanoni - Maretu

> Coin Locker Baby - Maretu

> Kilmer - Nilfruits [MizuMafu bcs mizuki would DESTROOOYYY this song]

> A Mistaken Belief of Love - Nilfruits

> Knife, Knife, Knife - Kikuo

> Abnormality Dancing Girl - Guchiry

> Parasite - Deco*27

> dogdog - Abuse [KanaMafu]

> FAILURE GIRL - Kairikibear

> Yamiaka Steroid - Kairikibear

> Watashi no R - KurageP [KanaMafu or MizuMafu i beg]

> Kareshi no Jude - Syudou

> day by days - Syudou

> SIU - Maretu

> Disappearance Addiction - Kairikibear

> NAMIDA - Maretu

> Anatasama - Kairikibear

> The Flea Waltz - A4

> Franken X - Nilfruits, Harumakigohan

> Easy-Peasy Euthanasia - Pepoyo

Virtual Singer [or any group] -

> Butcher Vanity - Vane Lily

> Pink - Maretu

> Panda Hero - Hachi [would love Wondasho but would take anyone]

> Cinderella - Deco*27

> Animal - Deco*27

> Rabbit Hole - Deco*27

> RUMA - Kairikibear

> DOWN TIMER - Kairikibear

> Hate it, Hate it, Huge Ego! - KurageP

> MiKUSABBATH - Utsu P

> Better Off Worse - CircusP

> Honey I’m Home - Ghost and Pals

> LIAR DANCE - Deco*27 [Leoni perhaps???]

> Machine Gun - Kira

> Plus Boy - Giga, Reol

> Holy Lance Explosion Boy - rerulili [a girl can pray for VBS]

> HELL - Sumia

> White Happy - Maretu [wouldn’t be surprised if it went to n25]

> Sincerity Nature: Drastic Measures of Ignorance - Suzumu

> Dizzy Paranoia Girl - VocaloKAT

> Konton Boogie - jonYAKITORY

> Girl Eraser - Maretu

> Fools are Attracted to Anomaly - Utsu P

> Therefore You and Me - TadanoCo [n25 or wondasho??]

> People Allergy - Kairikibear

> M@GICAL CURE LOVE SHOT - SAWTOWNE [it was one of my fav songs to see live tbh…..so fun]

> MONSTER - Kira

> Party x Party - Hitoshizuku x Yama [would say wxs but the rest of the bad end night series has been virtual singer sooooo??]

[allmyocsarebritish]

Kiss, Maime, Kill: Chapter 5 - Regret?

Pairing: Alastor X killer! F Reader

Warnings!!!: Graphic description of grief and death, ANGST, sorry not sorry, will make up for it eventually, drug metaphor? Basically just the other chapters warnings on steroids

Wordcount: 0.85k

Why was this so fun to write? Should I be concerned? Maybe- Anyway, finally got to use the art I made in March that inspired this, and it's the last human Al of this story :(((

1933

Louisiana, New Orleans

Something was off. You knew it from the start. But, alas, you played it off, assuming the uneasy feeling had risen from the bitter January chill casting shivers down your spine. Still, you couldn't shake the feeling that you and Alastor weren't the only ones hiding in the woods that night.

Firmly gripping the butcher's knife in your hand, you followed Alastor further into the marshland. People were scared of you. Not the other way around. You were the killer, the one to be feared, the monster lurking in the woods at night. You repeated this to yourself, wondering what the fuck came over you as you flinched at a wind - tousled hedge.

"Are you alright, Cher?" Alastor asked, drawing closer to you. He caressed your cheek with his free hand as you stared into the trees like a deer in the headlights. "My, my, you're shaking, poor dear! Whatever has gotten into you?"

"I- I don't know, Al. Cold weather I suppose."

His gaze trailed over you for a while longer than necessary, eyes narrowing in concern. "Alright, well then, let's not waste another moment."

A rather uncomfortable silence returned as you continued to trek through the forest, which unsettled you further. "Alastor?" You asked, swallowing thickly.

"Yes, my dear?"

"Did you ever think life would turn out like this?"

Alastor quirked an eyebrow. How reminiscent this was of your confession. Did you need affirmation of his affection? Was that what was wrong?

"I found you without looking, and I love you without trying." He told you simply and with a soft smile, turning to continue onwards.

"I love you too, but that isn't what I meant. I meant do you ever.. regret.. what we do?"

He stopped walking and turned to face you once more.

"Regrets won't change anything, you need to find your peace in the present, no matter how imperfect it may be or how much you wish you could change."

"If you're so sure."

~

Lighting a cigarette, you reclined against a tree as Alastor wiped the blood off his face with his palm. The slightly insane look in his usually void eyes scared and enticed you all at once. He was invigorating, truly, better than any drug trip. He dropped the knife at the side of this victim, sending a clatter echoing through the forest. Alerting everything of your presence.

"Do you feel better now, Cher?" He asked you, swiping the splatters off your own face with his thumb.

"Only because you're here." You responded, smiling and drawing him in for a kiss.

"Of course." His lips met yours, a slightly metallic taste hinting at the blood spilt in the thicket of trees, before he pulled back and leant against the tree beside yourself. A long drawn out sigh escaped his lips as he closed his eyes in contentment. You passed him the cigarette, from which he took a long drag before snubbing it out against the rough bark and dropping it to the grass underfoot.

Then, within a split second, your entire universe crashed and burned.

The ringing of the gunshot was deafening, making you wince as the ear splitting squeal ripped through air beside you. Alastor jolted backwards with the aggressive impact, slumping against the tree. His eyes were wide and horrified, glasses cracked and broken on the forest floor.

Red. Blood. Pain. Anguish. This was how they had felt. This was their last moments. This was what you did to their families.

"ALASTOR!" Your bloodcurdling scream resembled that of your victims in their last moments as you dropped to your knees at your husband's side. The tears were hot and stinging. It wasn't supposed to be like this. You weren't supposed to be the ones to feel the blinding agony of loss. But you were, and nothing would change that.

"Alastor, Al, please. Please, Allie." You were begging. Begging for what? You didn't know, and it didn't matter because no amount of reduced screaming on your knees would change this. "Please."

"I hope my absence can give you peace and stability in a way you never could experience with me around, Cher" his voice was hoarse and quiet, clearly straining to speak with the sheer pain he was in. "For all the sins I committed in life, loving you was the sweetest one."

"Fuck, Al, please, no, no," What were you saying? You didn't know. Words were tumbling out with no meaning because all you could focus on was the raw grief coursing through your veins and wracking your body with grief.

"I love you, y/n. If only I could absorb your pain and return it as love."

"I love you, Alastor. I always will. Don't go. Don't leave me Alastor. Please Al. Please" the life faded from his eyes as your shrill voice became hoarser. If you could have cradled him there forever you would have, but you couldn't. Acceptance wasn't fathomable, and maybe it was just your grief speaking, but there was something you knew for sure:

You'd meet again.

One day.

You'd meet again.

Part 6!!

[phoenixtakaramono]

Hi wow okay I just needed to pause my reading and come over here and tell you that your recent additions to the multiverse thread????? Insane. Love it. It’s amazing. I really had to pause at some points and just sit there like wow. Wow this is art. I am reading and enjoying art right now. Thank you for sharing your writing with us!!

This Ask is regarding this 🔞 butchlander multiverse threadfic on Twitter (the first of many perhaps?)

Thank you so much for reading, luv! I’m thrilled to hear you’re enjoying it. 💞✨

I am extremely fond of the Quick Transmigration genre as a whole in general, and it’s funny to me how complimentary it is to the superhero multiverse trope. It pops up and I’m flooded by so many brainworms at all the inconvenient times, haha, like while I’m at work or grocery shopping. So when I get hit by these The Name of the Game stray thoughts, especially about certain details and 🔞 butchlander scenarios of the arcs I have written down in my plot outline, I feel a lil dismayed because I am only one writer and we are only ch1 into the—so far—planned 135 chapters. 😂😭 So rather than waiting till it’s appropriate to write these lil extras and possibly forgetting or losing the creative drive I have now, while the fire still burns bright, I might as well take advantage of it while it’s going strong and feed y’all tiny diegetic bites here and there.

I like to think of these as fun sort-of-“canon”/ sort-of-“non-canon” What-If outtake scenarios that take place after or during the main story (135ch), kinda like the main story’s unofficial extras or unofficial side stories y’all can read as threadfics so it’s probably not an extra just dumped in randomly or willy-nilly in the main story itself on AO3 whilst this writer tries to shoot for the moon and catch up to our ambitious goalpost of 135chs.

So whilst this one is a weeeeee on the not-so-much-plot-but-smuttier side, because it’s Homelander’s birthday soon, I thought it’d be amusing to write a 🔞 spicy threadfic where TNotG’s Homelander ends up topped by almost all the Butchers I’ve ever written in my AUs thus far. Because why not? YOLO, and it’s convenient that this writer happens to have several long threadfics, Truce, and one AO3 fic that precisely allows for them to all crossover like some kinda butchlander superhero electric boogaloo multiverse on steroids.

So far I’ve only provided snapshot glimpses into the QT arcs that TNotG Billy had to endure, threaded into the threadfic itself, but I want you to know the entire time when I’m slipping in subtle story arc references to scenarios like this:

My mind is like:

Because these so far only exist in my plot outline, none of these are considered TNotG main story official unless I publish it on the AO3 platform. I’d just rather write these now than let them gather dust and potentially never see the light of day, haha. It’s only a snapshot but :) what fun surprises I have awaiting y’all. So far in these two threadfic updates we got sneak peeks into the The Boys TV S1-S5 canon-compliant final arc pre-return home, the Showbiz/ Entertainment 3rd arc, and the Medieval Fantasy 1st arc. There’s one more arc I have yet to input, which is the 2nd arc and it just so happens to be my second favorite genre after the QT genre: the Unlimited/ Infinite Flow genre survival game horror. I also may or may not reference the other two arcs remaining (with one of them being A/B/O), but these diegetic bites are supposed to compliment the spotlight that’s gonna be on each Butcher (Butchers 1-5 & TNotG Butcher). 😌 Because what’s better than 1 Butcher? A spicy 6 Butchers “bullying” (affectionate) Homelander sandwich.

[underground-hip-hop-affiliated]

Benny the Butcher & DJ Green Lantern - Satriale's (Feat. El Camino & Conway)

[averyroundpumpkin]

☆ROCK ZOMBIE! POPPY HEADCANONS

☆Noticed a serious lack of Rock!Poppy content

☆Warnings: slight cussing, mentions of vandalism and mentions of addiction

Personality Hcs

^ this image is basically her whole personality (atleast how I see her)

She's still friendly, just by Rock troll standards

Like, the other genres of trolls would think she's mean and rude, but Rock trolls would think she's normal and being nice

Tbh, she's a teensy bit meaner as a rock troll

GENERAL HCS

Barb's lieutenant

Rock!Poppy is regular Poppy on steroids

1000× more energetic

She's more reckless; she always manages to break or loose something somehow

She could find a way to break something in a protective case without even wanting to

Totally more vulgar

Barb: "Who's ready to rock!?"

Poppy, totally unprovoked: "ME! F*CK YES!"

Totally a show off. I mean, did you see the way she played that guitar

Speaking of guitars, don't hand her one

Seriously, blink and its smashed to pieces on the ground(branch and barb learned the hard way...several times)

Don't lend her things in general, you'll never get them back

Her room is full of things she "borrowed" from people

She doesn't even use most of the stuff she has, she just doesn't want to let them go

Her room is messy, not because of dirt, but because of the sea of valuables she has scattered in it

Branch had to fight her once to get her to arrange her stuff neatly

It went back to its normal state the very next day

She has a 1 hour hair routine that she will not pause for anyone

Makes fun of branch because of his mullet

"Hey Branch, the 80s called. They said they want their mullet ba-"

"Stfu"

Hard-core partier. Even worse than how she was before

Queen of moshing

Throwing up horns is her signature move, she always does it- even more than a rock troll usually does

Cringes everytime she hears pop music

Has flashbacks of her past, but doesn't think too deep into it. Thinks it's just her mind messing with her

Instead of scrapbooking, she spray-paints

She's vandalized several buildings without being caught

Steals Debby from Barb and decorates her. This makes Barb mad

Tries to suck up to Debby and win her over

Her feeling for Branch are complicated

She tries to deny her feeling for him, but literally no one is having it

All the other trolls are betting on when they're gonna kiss

"What? Me and Branch? Pfft- yeah right, we would never. We're best friends. Buds. Amigos. Pals.

"Mhhhhhmmmm"

Unaware of Branch's addiction (reference to trolls 3)

Sorry if I butchered her for you or this isn't what you thought about her!

[mdhwrites]

Would Owl House would have worked better if it was for an older audience so it could better dive into topics like Christianity and darker themes like for the wittebrothers

The show doesn't do anything with the concepts that would be expected to be expanded on in ANY story so why would allowing more topics for it do anything?

Remember, the Isles is barely a world. It has no culture. The demons of the DEMON Realm may as well not exist for how little we actually know of them. The Covens are nothing except a tattoo and the system itself is treated incredibly inconsistently. It butchers elements like Amity's character arc, excising parts of it that are made out to be important like her parents for the sake of simplicity and ease of storytelling.

The show kept adding more. Making more social commentary. Making more romance plots despite this NOT being a romance and no one forcing them to in the slightest. Why would adding MORE help the show?

The only thing it could have done was make it so TOH could make more blunt statements that people treat as deep before the show then does nothing with them. That's not making the show better, that's just more of the same flaws.

I have a much larger blog coming out in the morning that is effectively this topic but on steroids. That's kind of why I'm keeping this one short but it's also to make it blunt. It's not like religion was a theme or core concept of TOH after all. Belos barely exists. So why would expanding that ONE. SMALL. PART be what suddenly makes TOH better when it didn't even bother with the teacher/student dynamic it was supposedly founded upon for more than half a season?

And that's being is EXTREMELY generous about how much of S1 is actually spent between Eda and Luz because after Adventure in the Elements? That part of the show is just over. So again: Why would broadening the scope help when even very early on, the show stopped caring about core elements?

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[liam-neesons-best-girl]

Carnival {Peyton (Darkman) x Reader}

approx. 1500 words

Summary: Peyton takes you out for a date to the local fair

Warning: F! reader, light fondling, general fluff

It was a gorgeous summer day, at the end of June when Peyton suggested you both spend a a day at the carnival.

He parked his truck and waited outside of your apartment building, leaning on the hood with his arms crossed in front of his chest, admiring the cloudless sky and warmth of the sun. He wore a light weight slack and an orange button down paired with a green cardigan.

You exited the lobby of your building, excitement evident on your face. You were dressed in an ocean blue sundress that stopped at your knees partnered with tan sandals.

Peyton greeted you with a kind smile and excellently tight hug. You admired his truck, commenting on the improvement’s he’s made over the past few months. He beamed with pride from the recognition he received. 

Opening the door for you, Peyton helped you into the front seat of his truck. The old school bench style allowed you to nuzzle up to his side.

“Too close?” you asked, not wanting to overstep your bounds before the day began.

“Never close enough,” he responded, putting you at ease with a wide, toothy grin and wrapping one arm around you. 

On the 45 minute drive to the fair grounds you listened to the radio, singing along to the top 40 hits. Peyton intentionally tried to sing bad for certain tunes, his deep voice butchering the supposed high notes. 

Upon arriving at the carnival Peyton parked the truck and strolled in hand-in-hand with you. You both got your hands stamped at the gate and made your way around the perimeter of the park. 

The first stop was at the photo booth, capturing the candid pictures of smiles, laughter, and a kiss. Two strips were printed, placed in Peyton's wallet for safe keeping.

Stepping out of the booth Peyton spotted the monstrosity that was the Red Rocket Cannonball ride, the largest roller coaster in the park, corkscrews included.

While waiting in line Peyton could see the nervous ticks you displayed. Twirling your hair, tapping your toes to the cement and being unusually quiet. 

“We don’t have to ride it if you are scared,” he said, in a low voice only you could hear, so as to not embarrass you.

“No, no. This is something you want to do. I can be brave,” you said, though still timidly playing with the hem of his cardy.

“That’s my girl,” he said with a smile. That was all of the encouragement you needed. 

You had reached the front of the line and were now boarding the cart. You and Peyton sat in the wooden cart awaiting the attendant to pull down the steel bar. Click, click, click, went the cart as it began to slowly notch its way forward on the track. As you reached the peak you looked to Peyton before the drop.

“Hold my hand?” was your plea. He did you one better. Peyton wrapped both arms around your midsection before the wind could whip his hands into the air. You were too slow, only able to grip his legs for reassurance.

You both were screaming like children, fear vanishing to make room for adrenaline. Once you completed the roller coaster track, Peyton wanted to show off to and for you, specifically with his strength.

It was no secret Peyton was a farm hand kind of strong, nothing like a steroid induced bodybuilder. You liked his natural physique and never missed a chance to tell him of his handsomeness and rugged good looks. He would blush every time.

“For you, Love. Any one you want,” he said, pointing to the stuffed animals that lined the tent. He was going to win you a prize, but more importantly, he was going to win you a prize to keep at your apartment to think of him anytime he was away. 

“Let me see,” you said, looking over your options. If it was Peyton's choice he would pick the most obnoxious sized animal, but you were more understated. “There, that one,” you pointed to a classic teddy bear, with a green ribbon around its neck.

“Green ribbon teddy it is,” he said as he handed the attendant a dollar bill in exchange for the hammer he would wield. 

Peyton knew these games were meant for children, but still enjoyed in making you proud. With a hefty swing he came down like thunder on the machine.

The buzzers blared and you played up his win with a dramatic swoon, which made Peyton melt like butter on a hot tin roof.

“It was nothing,” he said while simultaneously flexing his biceps that were eye level with you. You looked up to him, batting your eyelashes, and he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have you by his side.

“I’m going to name it Peyton,” you said in all seriousness. He loved that idea. In that moment his heart was so full of love that he kissed you right then and there. After a beat you started to smile through the kiss and parted to giggle. 

After walking through the entirety of the park Peyton noticed your eyes drooping with sleep and the occasional yawn.

You got back to Peyton’s truck and instantly, you cuddled up to his side, like you had on the way there. Peyton smiled down to you fondly and gave you a kiss on the forehead. You hummed a positive sigh to his kiss, sitting up to face him.

You folded your feet up on the seat while his legs were spread wide, taking up half of the bench seat. You raised your right hand to his neck and leaned in for a soft kiss. Peyton kissed you back but didn’t make any quick movements. 

He slowly wrapped his right hand around your waist and pulled you into his lap. Now, your legs laid straight out over one of his legs and onto the bench seat as the kisses became more passionate. 

Peyton became emboldened by the moment, putting one of his hands up your dress to caress your hips, to feel your hot skin. Your hands were all over his chest, only above his shirt. You were about to move to the buttons of his shirt when a knock came at the driver’s side window of his truck.

Frazzled, Peyton pulls you up into a seated position on his lap with a secured arm around your waist while he cranked down the window for the patrol officer.

“You do know this fair is closing in 10 minutes, and that there are children here,” he said in an exasperated voice, annoyed with horny teenagers and frisky fair goers.

“Uhm, yes sir, sorry sir. It won’t happen again,” Peyton said.

“Alright then,” the officer scoffed, probably at Peyton’s puffy lips and slightest smudge of your pink lip gloss.

Once the officer left and Peyton rolled up the window you turned to him with a gleam in your eyes.

“I’ve never been caught like that before. What a rush,” you said, hopping off of his lap and smoothing out your dress. You then looked up to notice Peyton’s puffy lips and gave him one more comically loud smooch before setting off back home. 

With that, he started up the engine and opened his right arm for you to snuggle into, and squished between you was Peyton the teddy bear. 

Through the car ride, you rested your head on his chest, radiating warmth and a rhythmic heartbeat to lull you to sleep.

When he pulled into her driveway, Peyton couldn’t bring himself to wake you up. You looked so peaceful, he thought. He hoped you were dreaming of him. You were.  

Ever so carefully, Peyton picked you up bridal style, and crossed the threshold into your apartment. He relished in the thought of carrying you like this again. Only you would be wearing white and he’d be in a tuxedo. 

Entering your kitchen like he had hundreds of times before, he made his way to your bedroom. Gently, he laid you down and fluffed a comforter over you. He was sure to carry in teddy bear Peyton as well, placing it between your chest and hands as you curled into a sleeping position. 

He wanted to stay and watch your chest rise and fall with every breath, but knew he wasn’t asked to stay. He stood from his spot on your dressing chair and began to walk out when your sleepy hand grabbed the air for his his wrist. 

Peyton's entire body turned to face you and leaned in closer, thinking you were going to say something. Instead, you placed his flat hand over your breasts where he could feel her heartbeat. 

Warmth traveled over his entire body. He knew the woman he loved wanted to stay with him, as much time as he could give to you. He laid down, spooning you and teddy bear Peyton.

You began to stir and Peyton thought he had been laying on your hair so he shifted away for a moment. You were only trying to turn and face him, curling up into his chest, you favorite spot.

[inu-jiru]

For the ask game!

13. I saw your art on the goetia sometimes doing adverts for products in your rewrite. Do you have ideas for what other sins are advertising? It is a really neat idea! :0c

Ahhh! Great question! For "H U N G E R", I imagine the Sins have their own products to sell, as well as any collaborative projects they might do since a lot of sin tends to overlap:

For Pride, I don't see Lucifer really selling anything unless it's based off him in some way (i.e. a film adaptation of his various deeds). I seem him more as a straight up propaganda guy who'll just plaster his image everywhere to make sure everyone knows he's in charge (and it irritates him greatly when they're destroyed, but that's a different discussion entirely ;3). Lucifer's already paid a large amount in taxes from everyone (Goetias and Sins included), so money isn't his main concern.

Satan typically collabs with Belphegor to advertise steroids and I also see him hosting Hell's version of WWE (except a lot more violent). I do plan on keeping some of the wild west/ranch elements from canon, and Hellborn who own land can advertise their goods if they can afford it.

Beelzebub advertises various food items, but mainly pushes her own line of honey which is dangerously addictive (eating it can send a demon spiraling into a gluttonous frenzy). She also has her own food channel where some members of the Goetia (like Queen Felicity) host their own cooking shows (she'll regularly make demands on what kind of food they produce since it's all food porn to her, so if one day she wants to see some poor imp butchered and made into a roast, it has to happen). As much as I didn't care for "Queen Bee", I did think the idea of pop music and parties fit Gluttony in a sense that, yeah, people splurge when they're partying, so she'd have a hand in pushing Hell's music industry as well.

Mammon handles much of Hell's manufacturing, so anything from clothes, jewelry, theme parks and anything else he can make a buck on, he'll advertise (mainly to the other Goetia since most Hellborn can't afford the good stuff). He's not above the idea of "sex sells", so I tried to implement that in the art piece I did. A story in the series I hope to get to at one point relates to his and Leviathan's collaboration in bringing cruise ships to Envy's ocean, so that'll be fun to write more about.

Lust, of course, manages the porn industry and everything involved with that. Collaborations would include aphrodisiac-based foods with Beelzebub as well as some darker projects that I'd rather not outright state here, but involve Belphegor (you can probably piece it together; this series won't shy away from dark topics, but I wanna give fair warning before I go into detail). Ironically enough, Asmodeus doesn't advertise contraceptives all that much, but I imagine he'd want pregnancy and disease to spread like crazy.

Envy tends to overlap with Greed when it comes to goods, but I can't see Leviathan advertising very much. He's the most animalistic out of the Sins and prefers the primal fear and chaos he gets out of his demons rather than material gain. He only really bothers to do it because he can't stand the other Sins having things that he doesn't.

Finally, Sloth is the mass producer of drugs of all kinds, uppers, downers, the works. Belphegor also endorses spas and resorts (for those who can afford it, of course). She doesn't advertise much, and that suits her fine since it's less work to deal with.

I'm sorry if this answer was super rambly aaaa I was just really excited to answer! ^^ Hopefully, it's an interesting read!

[contentment-of-cats]

Pandemic pantry now past-tense

I was raised by a family that had food scarcity trauma. My maternal grandmother was so malnourished as a child that she developed rickets. My maternal grandfather routinely had to go out and shoot his breakfast post-1906 earthquake. My paternal grandmother was from coal country, so malnourished as a child that she never exceeded being 4 ft 10 in tall and bow-legged from rickets as well. My paternal grandfather, despite living in a thriving metropolis was just three generations removed from the potato famine that sent his survivor ancestor across the Atlantic.

These are people who survived first World War, the 1918 influenza, the Great Depression, and the second World War. In particular, my maternal grandparents went through the Great Depression with young children. For all of these people, food was love. A full pantry and refrigerator, plus a freezer chest in the basement meant that the hard times would at least have a cushion. Hunting meant that you didn't have to rely on money for the butcher. A garden next to the house supplied fruit and vegetables.

My pandemic pantry grew out of my emergency food, since I live in earthquake country. I was better prepared than a lot of people, but I also had that generational paranoia about an empty shelf. I kept well-stocked until after I had received my vaccines. Then I started to gradually dwindle the stockpile and replace it with fresher items.

Then in October of 2021, I wasn't feeling too good. I've had a diagnosis of fibromyalgia since 2007. I understood not feeling good, but this was a new level. I was told that it was probably menopause and the fact that I was exercising a lot at home. Never mind that my periods had stopped when I was 52. I couldn't eat. The fatigue was so intense that I would actually fall asleep if I sat down. In my home office, I stood up and paced in order to stay awake. Finally in March of 2022, everything came to a head, and came to a stop. I had stage 4 colon cancer and a 10 cm tumor in my gut.

From my first week on chemotherapy and radiation I could not eat. I was hospitalized for dehydration due to the vomiting and diarrhea. The next five weeks were a fine line between killing the patient, and killing the cancer that was killing the patient. My diet consisted of saltine crackers, soda water, baby food packets, and little else. When I would go in for my chemotherapy treatments, they made sure to give me a small enough dose of steroids that I would get hungry on top of a big dose of Zofran to stamp down the nausea. I remember the infusion clinic tuna fish sandwiches very fondly. Usually the steroids would stick with me long enough to get another meal down when I got home.

Even after I finished chemotherapy in August of 2022, chemotherapy was not finished with me. It stayed in my body for weeks afterwards. I was still losing weight, my hair was still falling out. I hadn't needed to trim my nails or shave my legs for months. Then I had the big operation in November with a full hysterectomy, a ureter and bladder resection, a colon resection, and an ileostomy. I still couldn't eat. The weight loss continued even after the resection was opened and the ileostomy closed in February of 2023.

During all that time the pantry just sat there and gathered dust. Some of it expired. In March of this year I started using bits and pieces because my appetite had started to come back slowly. I rapidly found out there were many things that I had enjoyed previously that I could no longer eat. Bit by bit I emptied that pantry, thinking of my grandparents, and even my mother and aunts, ever paranoid about food and having a conflicting relationship with it to the point of disordered eating. I thought about my own relationship with food, and being a size 3 in my twenties. Sometimes you face your demons, other times you vomit them out, other times you eat them.

Emptying my pandemic pantry by box and by can has been another part of my journey. As someone who was divorced from food for so long, much of my enjoyment has returned. I appreciate being able to eat more than I ever did before. I appreciate not only the opportunity, but the ability. Now that my pantry is empty, I'm thinking about what to stock it up with. I won't put anything in it just for the sake of having it, or filling an empty space. Each box and can must have a purpose, must be appreciated and enjoyed.

So today, I am going to make one of my grandfather's favorites. Creamed chipped beef on toast with an egg over easy, coffee, and a glass of orange juice. You're never going to find an epicurean or a gourmet tucking into this modest breakfast made with dried beef and canned milk. I have always enjoyed it though, and appreciate the history that brings it to my table today.