#But. Hm. Well I just realized how many of my problems would be fixed by simply. Not living with my parents anymore

[rachetmath]

Nora's Plan B

Hey Nora.

Nora: Sup Em, whicha want?

Emerald: Say if Ren doesn’t work out would you date Jaune?

Nora: Yes.

Emerald: What?

Ruby: What?

Weiss: What?

Nora: What? Is that a big deal?

Emerald: Explain.

Nora: I mean I call Jaune a fearless leader for a reason.

Weiss: But Cardin-

Nora: Let’s break it down. Jaune let Cardin get away with what he did was because of his transcripts however that’s also because Jaune was used to situations like because no one has ever helped him with that. Think about it, how many friends Jaune had before Beacon?

Ruby: Hm.

Nora: Plus the moment Cardin threatened Pyrrha his attitude took a whole 180. Shoot after the Ursa he was ready to fight Cardin again.

Ruby and Weiss: Yeah, she’s not wrong.

Nora: Next, Cinder would have to watch Jaune’s progression in order to set up a good team for us to fight. Didn’t she?

Emerald: Yeah.

Nora: And Jaune stood up for Pyrrha when everybody was laying pressure on her. That’s something.

RWE: True.

Ruby: But Nora sometimes Jaune-

Nora: Hold on, yeah, Jaune has his hissy fits but then again, don’t we all grieve differently. Plus Ruby, Qrow waited until we were attacked by Salem’s forces to explain everything. Instead, he could have just told us from the start. He was doing unnecessary things. So yeah Jaune has every right to be mad. I say Qrow should have counted his blessings that Jaune was willing to help him at all if you weren’t around. Or Jaune kills him by his own hands.

Ruby: Oh.

Weiss: But then he- Oscar-

Nora: With Oscar, Jaune admitted he overreacted with him. But, again, understandble. We grieve at our own pace. And I mean seriously Ozpin hadyears to stop Salem and he hasn’t done it. Ozpin might as well be just as bad as Salem.  Also if you have not noticed back in Argus the moment he pushed Oscar to the wall none of us were ready. Remember how  Yang looked?

RW: 

Nora: That was fear. I will say that takes points away for being attractive but it also shows he has a breaking point. Which for most people needs to be avoided cause someone could end up dead. But again Jaune proves he has control of his emotions by letting Oscar go.

Yang: Yeah she’s not wrong. 

Ruby: Yang how-

Yang: Stay on topic. Look I’m cool with Ren and you know I- I understood why he was upset but the moment he realized his tone with Jaune-

Yang: He knew. He knew he f**** up but then Jaune’s response- Oh my god.

Yang: He maintained his composure. His behavior proves he learned from Argus with Oscar. He still was willing to talk with him.

Yang: If that’s not maturity then I don’t know what is. Just saying. 

Ruby: But Jaune in the Ever After was-

Yang: Okay let’s compare. Ren was upset about Atlas and Mantle. Instead of being upset about it and following orders, what else has he done to fix anything? Nothing. And when he finally expressed himself it was after Oscar got kidnapped. And we were stranded in the middle of miles in snow with no food or transportation. Meanwhile, leaving those thousands of people to die.

Me: But didn’t you start it?

Yang: Doesn’t matter.

Me: Yes it-

Yang: Shut up. And in the Ever After Ruby…. …. We were there for a day and we made Little homeless. Robbed the knights. Almost died playing a game of chess with a spoiled brat. Fought our inner demons. And destroyed a city market with people in it to save ourselves from Neo. In one day mind you we did all of that.

Ruby: Holy-

Yang: Now with Jaune he wasn’t dismissing our problem but we were contemplating at the wrong time. 

Yang: Mainly because a storm came.

Yang: He then brought us to his home.

Yang: And let's recall he was waiting for us. Something he didn’t have to do. At all.  And what did we do? Judge the man for taking care of a bunch of children who want to die.

Yang: Then we brought Neo to him.

Yang: And Ruby -

Ruby: No further comments.

Yang: And Ratchet.

Me: *sigh* Okay. Fine. If you have seen my list of Jaune ships or seen any of my post on Ren and Nora., my outlook on them is not good. But after thinking about the reason I hate Nora, I steadily realized, ‘man, what I am saying, she’s better than Sakura.” She doesn’t physically or mentally abuse Jaune like Sakura does to Naruto. And unlike the other besides Pyrrha she’s consistent with Jaune. So I'll admit I was petty with her in volume seven and eight. I can see Nora’s Arc happening.

Nora: Thank you. Anyways Emerald I would date Jaune as my plan B. Especially if Ren and I don’t recover from Atlas.

Emerald: Well damn. Too bad you got competition.

Nora: *laugh*

RWE: *shocked*

Nora: Let them come. But remember, team JNPR. And team JNRO. And team RNJR.

Weiss: What is that- oh my god.

Nora: That’s right. I’m number two. I’m the second. I’m always beside Jaune. Not Pyrrha. Not Ren. Me. He’s the leader. But the queen of the motherf***ing castle. Bye ladies. *leaves*

Yang: Damn.

Weiss: Oh no, I better act fast.

Ruby: I need Ren to clean up his mess quickly.

Emerald: She most definitely

[nova-they-exist-yup]

HMS: Needs and Wants

Now, I’ve been trying to figure out what exactly HMS are to whole. Sure, they’re the emotions, logic, and aspirations, but how do they work?

I figured something out, so if you’re having a similar problem (or just like seeing hms being metaphorically dissected), you can keep reading.

(Also, if anything doesn’t make sense or if someone has a comment to add on this, reblog! I love to brainstorm and theorize with others :] )

Let’s dum them down to their basic concepts. Feelings, reason, and ambition.

Heart, as the feelings, decides based on feelings. He feels hungry. He feels tired. He feels sad. He feels empty. He tells you what the problem is.

Mind, as the reason, decides based on reason. He should eat. He should sleep. He should cry. He should get help. He tells you how to help him, or better yet avoid the problem.

Together, Mind and Heart create Whole’s needs. He feels hungry so he should eat. He feels tired so he should sleep. He feels sad so he should cry. He feels empty so he should get help.

Now that just covers the basics, what’s required to survive. What makes one sentient?

Soul, as the ambition, decides based on ambition. He wants to eat cereal. He wants to stay up. He wants to make music. He wants to deal with it on his own.

Soul is Whole’s want. His driving force. He feels hungry so he should eat; but he wants cereal. He feels tired so he should sleep; but he wants to stay up. He feels sad so he should cry; but he wants to make music. He feels empty so he should get help; but he wants to deal with it on his own.

Now whether or not his wants are telling him to be healthy or not doesn’t matter. What does matter is what Soul wants and therefore what Whole wants. Soul, as ambition, can push past feelings and reason and do what he wants. Sure, he typically acts based on what’s being felt or what’s most logical, but it’s not required.

Yet, this shouldn’t make sense. Heart says what Whole needs, Mind says how to get that need. That should be how it works.

And yet is ISNT.

Have there been times where you wanted to do something, knowing full well it’d impact your health? Your body and brain are screaming at you to sleep, and yet you keep your eyes glued to the screen?

That’s a want.

That would be Soul.

Soul has the most control over Whole, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

But what if you want this control?

To… let’s say get one over on your nemesis? Become the true sovereign?

Well, that can’t happen. Of course it can’t.

Wants will never equal Needs, no matter how hard Heart and Mind claim to have Soul as their own. Especially when one claims they’re better than the other.

Soul recognizes this too. He even says in TSE “You must be so arrogant to / think that either of you can / control the Soul so wholly”, “Here in my kingdom, I am your lord”. Sure, he’s going a bit off the rails, but the message is still there: {You can’t control me. Neither of you.}

It’s why Soul has his power: he is Whole’s wants. Heart and Mind are Whole’s needs. Wants > Needs

Switching gears here: Now how does Heart and Mind’s fighting make sense? Or lack thereof?

Well, the reason why they hate each other is more about the characters and less about what they are: They both believe they are more important than the other. (How can you be healthy when you don’t know what’s wrong?) [How can you heal when you don’t know how to?]

The reason it doesn’t make sense ties into what they are though, the problem and the answer.

Heart is the problem finder. He finds the problem. He notices what’s wrong and wants it fixed. Problem is, he doesn’t know how.

Mind is the answer finder. He can find the solution. He can fix what is wrong. Problem is, he needs to know what’s wrong, and he doesn’t know what is.

They need each other to be efficient, and that’s what they realize in the end. After many, many arguments and fights, that is.

idk how to end this properly so insert jazzy ending here

[ieatkeyboard]

ASMO CHARACTER DESIGN JUDGING

@ewesless You ask for more, you get more. PLEASE REMEMBER EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN OPINION AND I'M NOT HATING ON THE CREATOR, THESE ARE JUST THINGS I DONT LIKE.

First, the classic. I didn't realize the stitching on his pants till now but it is BAAAD. The belt is a weird shit-green? I think they were leaning to gold but it is NOT giving gold. I cant tell if he's wearing a weird vest under his jacket or if it's part of it- The scarf is cute and I like the shirt.

LETS DO SOME TWEAKING HM??

I took the seams off the pants but without them, the pants clashed really badly with the shirt so I made the pants a bit darker. I made the scarf and shoes a bit darker too because as much as the scarf looked fine against the jacket, the shoes looked gray against the pants and I wanted them to match the way they did before. I made the belt a more orange/yellow color so it would hopefully look more gold than the shit green belt from before. As much as I don't know what the jacket/vest is it IS cute so I left it alone and I didn't touch the shirt.

NEXT

I actually like this outfit a lot- Its comfy and cute. The shoes are kinda weird- And I think the pants blend into the boots too well, I can't tell them apart (I'm also blind as hell so this is probably a me problem)

LETS DO IT

I made the boots a little bigger and took away ALL the buttons from the outfit because I personally didn't like it. It felt like he was modeling and wearing a specific collection, instead of wearing something he liked. I made the pants a smidge lighter and that's it!

NEXT

Please don't kill me over this PLEASE. I love him but the little thing on his jacket(I FORGOT THE NAME) is very...Interesting. I dont like how the shoes are red and the rest of the outfit is pink/light blue/gold and green 😭 And those heels look small on him- The necklace is gorgeous but the fact the necklace is silver, the buttons on his pants are bronze and the rose is gold is so awful to me. The pattern on the sweater is also weird-

LETS "FIX" IT

First, I took the red off the shoes and made them look like they got a little better. I took away the pattern on his sweater but I liked the kinda gradient affect so I kept that. I made his buttons match his rose, I made the color of the ribbon match the rest of the pink in the outfit because we can only have so many colors before we start looking weird-

NEXT

I'm sorry they ate these the FUCK up. But because this is about what I think I'll change it up a little-

WEEEEEE

BAM. Since the boys bunny uniforms feel very based on their sin and personality I gave Asmo some hearts for his sin and as a pop of pink since he is ALWAYS seen in pink. When I think of bunnies, I think more "soft and cute" so I took the geometric shapes out of the ears.

LAST

I actually love his demon form so I wont change much

I took the gray off his left shoe because there isn't any gray on the other side and I know it's a dumb reason but it makes sense in my brain. I made the pink a little more cool toned and made his nails black because ooooo spooky demon

-

Asmo has a few other outfits but these are really the only ones I could think of that I had a problem with or just wanted to mess with. Asmo has an amazing character design and his outfits are cute! These are just things I would've done differently!

[eddies-freak]

what did i do? eddie munson x fem!reader

Summary: Eddie doesn't know what he's done to make you upset, but he's on a mission to find out and gain back your favor.

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Angst?? Some emotional scenes towards the end, but all the usual fluff!!

Requested here! Unedited, will go back at some point to do so but I really need to go to sleep right now. Update: now edited! let me know if i missed any errors :)

Eddie didn’t know what he had done wrong. You were being so distant, barely talking to him, barely talking to anyone, in fact. It seemed as though you were avoiding him in particular, though. Whenever he was about to approach you at your locker, you closed its door and rushed off to your next class. You never sat with him at lunch anymore. Poor Eddie had no idea what was going on, he just wanted to know what he had done and if you were okay. 

---

After school one day, he came home to find Wayne already home from work, just what he was hoping for. 

“Hey, uh… Wayne?” he asked his uncle tentatively. 

“Hm?” Wayne responded with a grunt. 

“I uh… I need to ask you for some advice." Wayne looked up, surprised. Eddie wasn’t exactly one to ask for help. 

“Sure thing, son. Whatcha need?”

“Uh… I think y/n is mad at me, and I want to do something for her to make up for it, but the problem is I have no idea what I did, so that creates a whole other issue, and-” Eddie stopped himself, realizing he was rambling. “Yeah.”

“Well, you could always bring her some flowers.”

“Flowers?”

“Yeah, flowers. You know, those pretty things that grow from the ground in all those different colors-”

“Yeah, Wayne, I know what a flower is, it's just… what kind?” Wayne contemplated this for a moment before answering, Eddie eagerly raising his eyebrows. 

“Red roses,” he said after a moment. “A classic.”

“Alright, thanks Wayne,” Eddie said, wanting to get out of the embarrassing situation as fast as possible. 

“Be careful, son, it looks like rain!” Wayne called out before Eddie slammed the door in his haste. 

Eddie drove his van to the flower shop, where a stout little woman seemed absolutely flabbergasted that someone like… well, like him would be entering her flower shop. 

“Hello, how may I help you today?” she asked, stepping out from behind the counter. 

 “Hi…” he looked at her name tag. “Suzanne. I uh- I’d like a dozen… shit, how many is a dozen?”

“Twelve?” Suzanne prompted. 

“Right. Sorry. The brain isn’t working today. Uh- twelve of your finest red roses, please.” The woman gave a small hum of recognition, turning to the flowers behind her with a smile. 

“So… who’s the lucky girl?” she asked. 

“Oh, uh…” Eddie wasn’t accustomed to small town small talk with strangers. Well, hell, he thought, what’re the chances I’ll ever see her again? “They’re actually for my girlfriend. She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met in like, my whole life. She’s perfect, she’s my everything. I don’t think I could live without her, if I’m being completely honest. I think I would go insane. The problem is, she’s really mad at me and I don’t know why, so I’m going to go apologize to her for whatever I did.”

“Well,” Suzanne said, bringing the roses back from wherever she got them from and putting them on the counter. “The best place to start would be to say all those wonderful things you said about her to her. Here, dear, why don’t you write them down so you don’t forget?” She paused on wrapping the bouquet delicately with tissue paper and a satin ribbon and handed Eddie a piece of paper and a pen. 

“Not likely…” Eddie mumbled, and chuckled. He would never forget how much he loved you. Suzanne helped him refine the points of what he wanted to say and fixed some of his grammar mistakes, but it was all fully and wholly Eddie. It was his words. He read it over one last time, admiring his handiwork. Quite the poet, he thought to himself. Suzanne ended up letting him have the flowers for free, and Eddie couldn’t thank her enough. 

“You’ll have to come back and tell me how it goes, dear!” Normally, Eddie wouldn’t have dreamed of doing such a thing, but he liked Suzanne, and was grateful for her help. He resolved to come back and tell her about it. “And be careful, it looks like rain!” 

And rain it did. But it didn’t just rain, it stormed. Fat raindrops peppered the windshield of Eddie’s van as he maneuvered around streets, trying to find the familiar street sign that marked the block you lived on. He was terrified, but with the flowers on the passenger seat next to him, buckled in, he told himself it would all work out. 

---

You were working on your homework and some extra credit work you had picked up during the week when the doorbell rang. Your dog, Teddy, started barking furiously, and you had to shush him a number of times before he actually kept quiet. Your parents were out of town, so you were the only one available to answer the ring. Trodding downstairs, you wondered, who would be visiting at this hour? And in this weather?

You opened the door to find… Eddie. He was standing on your doorstep, in the rain, a bouquet of red roses in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. His clothes and entire body were soaked through with rain, his hair a wet mop. Once he saw you he cleared his throat and began to read, glancing down at the paper every few words. 

“Y/n,” he paused, looking up at you with those beautiful brown eyes you loved so much. Sometimes you just wanted to jump into them, see what he saw. “Y/n,” he said again, as if to remind himself it was you, and you were right there in front of him. “These…” he handed you the roses, leaving you with a confused look on your face. “... are for you. I don’t know what I did wrong or if you’ll be able to forgive me for whatever I did, but I just wanted to let you know that I love you more than anything else in this whole world. You’re my everything, and I don’t know what I’d do without you. Shit, y/n, what did I do?” 

“Eds,” you said, setting the flowers down on the bench beside the door to cup his face in your hands. “You didn’t do anything, baby. I’ve been applying to colleges and writing my essays, I promise I haven’t been neglecting you on purpose. I’m sorry if I’ve been distant or uncommunicative, but it’s completely my fault, and certainly not because of anything you did. No need to get your panties in a twist.” You chuckled. 

“Shit, y/n.” Eddie dropped the paper in his hands and collapsed into a crouch on the ground, covering his face with his hands. You sat beside him, leaning your back on the doorframe. You reached out, stroking his arm, and before you knew it he was hugging you tightly, as if afraid you might evaporate at any moment. As if you might become a lone raindrop lost in the ocean, never able to find you again. 

“Hey, hey…” you said, stroking his back, his hair, his face. Lightly scratching his scalp the way you knew he liked it. You were shocked at the speech he had given, thinking back on it. It was so out of character for him to express such emotion. “Did you…” you paused. “Did you really mean everything you said?”

“Every word,” Eddie replied. Now you were crying.

“I didn’t think anyone could ever love me like that,” you said through racked sobs. 

“Oh, sweetheart, now you’ve got me crying again.”

You hugged each other tightly, tears falling down your cheeks every now and again, stroking each other’s hair, contemplating the love you felt for each other. Eddie was the first to break away. 

“Let’s get those flowers in some water, yeah? Don’t want them to die because we couldn’t keep our shit together.”

i hope you guys enjoyed!! thank you to my bestie izzy for requesting, i had a lot of fun writing this one.

<3

as always, asks are open! currently writing for eddie but if you have another specific request i might consider, so shoot your shot. :)

[lorkai]

 A/N: Yesterday was the last day of the asexual week and I knew I had to hurry to finish this oneshot in time. First because this has been in my drafts for months and second because I genuinely love his and Yuu's friendship, it's so cute and I hope we see more of that in chapter 7.

Warning: Fluff mostly, asexual and gender neutral!reader, first time writing for Malleus, he might be occ, also proofread only one time. Lemme know if there’s a typo pls! 

 --- Tagging: @rainiishowers @astershere @jabberwockk ​

When your chest heaved with uncertainty the only thing you could do was walk until your thoughts cleared, an attentive mind was what would keep you alive in this place after all. And since you arrived in Twisted Wonderland this has happened much more often, anxiety and fear consuming you at being in a totally unknown world and completely without a way to fight those idiots. They had magic while you only had a grumpy fire-breathing cat and your own fists.

It wasn't much, but it was enough for you to be able to snatch the magic pen from their hand and fight. And fighting was the only thing you could do to have a roof over your head and enough money to survive, even though Crowley made you work until your body was as heavy as lead and your mind was about to shut off from the world. Unsurprisingly, today was a day where you ran around, did your homework, took care of your three idiots, and did Crowley's job.

And there was only one problem. You couldn't sleep, couldn't think straight except for the things that awaited you in the morning, tasks that weren't yours but that you had to complete to receive enough Madols to continue living.

Or fight an overblot student, as this has become frequent.

The weather was hot, making you roll from one side of the bed to the other and sometimes face Grimm on his side of the bed, purring, sometimes muttering something you didn't understand. The sound of him purring would put you to sleep most nights, but today it just didn't work. Even scrolling through posts didn't work and counting sheep was a little too childish for you to consider the thought.

Tired of the restless hours and the heat, you got up and left the room. You intended to eat ice cream or whatever you had in the fridge and try to study for the exams that were almost there, even though you knew that tomorrow you would need energy and willingness to get through the day. You held back a sigh, imagining the things you'd fix once you got Crowley's generous allowance, maybe you'd buy a new sofa as the current one was falling apart. But looking up you decided it would be better to fix the roof, slight leaks were forming and you had already scraped both your knees from so many times you had slipped in puddles of water while walking in a hurry.

  The ghosts were starting to place bets on how much it would take for you to get seriously hurt, and while they were laughing at the situation, they were also careful to try and catch you before you fell - which again didn't work, as they were ghosts and couldn't touch you physically.

“Awake at this hour, child?” The ghost floated past you as if waiting for the right moment to snap you out of your melancholy thoughts, but also with the mischievous air of someone who intended to scare you. The smile on his face was all you needed to know to realize it and he laughed softly. “Try drinking hot milk to relax. I remember my mother always giving me milk with honey when I was just a little kid, I miss those days.”

But you denied it, indifferently.

"I'm going to eat ice cream." You told him, stretching. You considered drinking iced milk for a moment before dismissing the idea, Grimm would go crazy if he didn't have milk to drink in the morning and you weren't even that fond of it.

“Oh well, I don't think it's good… Hm? Oh, he's there again?" The ghost muttered and broke off, turning toward the window as if he'd heard something you hadn't. Surreptitiously he approached the window to spy something outside that had caught his attention, his gestures were careful and thoughtful as it seemed that he didn't want to be seen by whoever was outside. And curious, you approached him and looked too, but at first you didn't see anything out of the ordinary. "It is so strange. He always shows up at this time and wanders around outside, sometimes humming, sometimes playing his game. Formerly he even dared to enter here. I find it so lonely. Anyway, go to sleep, child, I'm sure you'll feel better in the morning. Goodnight."

And just as he suddenly appeared, the ghost disappeared through the walls. But the doubt was already in your head and ignoring all your common sense you opened the door and the urge to eat ice cream, and ventured against the gusts of dry wind and the persistent heat. You didn't care so much about the lack of an air conditioner anymore, but Crowley could be generous enough to give you a fan at least. And it almost made your tired mind laugh. If he had the option to continue procrastinating he would do so without a shadow of a doubt.

The tall grass was at your ankles and the sensation would almost tickle you if it weren't irritating, you analyzed the scenery in front of you meticulously trying to see what lurked in the dark of the night and only then noticed the person resting under the old willow tree. The black and green uniform managed to camouflage him between the tall trees and the dark of a moonless night, if you didn't know what you were looking for then you certainly wouldn't notice him there, but you noticed him and you decided to approach him with carefree steps. Perhaps the lack of sleep made you dumber than you already were. But you've faced greater dangers than just a guy sitting on the grass in your dorm.

And what could he do? You asked with a silent laugh.

  He didn't seem capable of hurting anyone, though his face grew serious with every step you took towards him. But that didn't stop you as you imagined the reasons he would be there, at that time. Maybe he also had trouble sleeping at night or just went out to clear his head like you did sometimes, as the ghost said he was definitely humming something, though your human ears were unable to capture the beauty of the sound until it was too late and he has stopped humming.

Or maybe, the ironic thought raced through your brain, you had finally reached a deep exhaustion and were creating a person in your mind that you could talk to normally. It was ironic that the NRC therapist needed another therapist.

  His green eyes were mesmerizing and tinged with danger. But what caught your attention the most were the prominent horns sticking out of his head and how you wanted to touch them. You didn't doubt for a second that they were real, after all the encounter with Leona, the dorm leader of Savanaclaw, who had the ears and tail of a lion was still fresh in your memory. And you refrained from touching them without permission, smiling as you crouched in front of him, a few feet away.

“Um, are you okay? What are you doing here?" you asked, running your eyes over his body to make sure you didn't see any apparent injuries. Sighing, you concluded that he must have gone there for another reason when all he did was smile as if he was amused at something, his eyes twinkling in an odd way. You scratched your neck like you didn't know how to react to that, Twisted Wonderland was really testing your limits to be proactive and know how to act with every awkward situation thrown your way.

  He denied. “This is a surprise. You're a child of man, aren't you?”

You shrugged, laughing softly at the nickname he'd bestowed on you. Despite the strangeness you could see that he really wouldn't do you any harm.

“So this derelict dorm that I've taken as my own for all this time actually has a new owner after all, it's a shame. I really wish I had a place where I could enjoy the silence.” Malleus shifted and sat cross-legged as he stared at a fixed point lost in the darkness. To you he seemed to be lost in thought, he didn't even blink when you waved your hand in front of his face. But the fae paid attention to your gestures, studied them, and found it funny how you acted with concern rather than fear.

A lonely smile played across his face while he thought about how other people would be running and profusely apologizing for interrupting him during his rest, how they feared him simply because he was more powerful than they were. But there is no power without humility and he would never do anything against people without having a reason to do so. "If this dorm is no longer abandoned I should find another place for my next night outing, I guess this is my cue to say goodbye then, child of man."

The boy in front of you got up and straightened his robes. He looked ready to leave and perhaps it was best to leave him, as your experiences with all the inhabitants of Twisted Wonderland had been interesting, to say the least, but dangerous. However, you held his hand on impulse, probably because he looked familiar to you. It reminded you of a certain mystical being that brought you comfort as you explored the world and sought to understand who you were.

"Or you can keep coming." You offered and he was considering the offer, and you noticed how he was weighing the pros and cons equally as he straightened his gloves and dusted off his uniform. "Only me and my grumpy cat live here, so it wouldn't be a problem if you joined us once in a while."

“You have no knowledge of who I am, do you, child of man?” Was his immediate response, circling you in slow steps as he watched confusion paint your face. The air around him told you he'd already made his decision before he'd even said it aloud, that the confidence in his smile and the soft way his eyes gleamed heralded the start of something interesting. “Do you not fear me? Aren't you afraid that I might do something to you?”

You suppressed a laugh and slapped his arm in a friendly gesture. “Of course I do, I'm not that innocent and I've had some problems since I got here. But with every passing second it's hard to be scared when all I'm thinking about is whether I can touch your horns or not." You said it sincerely. You raised your hands in the air, but you waited for some kind of positive reaction to your comment so you could actually do that. “I don't know if this sounds weird but you remind me of a dragon. I think it's because of the horns and you know, dragons are important symbols for people like me. It reminds me of home, at least.”

Suddenly, Malleus doubled over with laughter and it was more than obvious that he hadn't expected that heartfelt answer. He was a strange guy, you supposed, but at least his laugh was merry and it took most of your tiredness away easily and you joined him in laughing, a soft, genuine laugh influenced by his glee.

“You amuse me, child of man.” He actually declared. "May I ask you a question?"

You nodded, moving your hand to emphasize that he had permission to do so. You shifted your weight from one leg to the other as you waited for him to collect his thoughts and ask the question he seemed to want to ask, you suppressed a laugh as the grass hit your ankles again and focused your attention on his green eyes.

“When you say dragons are important symbols for people like you, what do you mean?” It was a genuine question that anyone could have, but you always answered it in a clumsy way because for some people it didn't make sense and they were rude when they expressed their opinions camouflaged with prejudice on the subject. It would be a shame if the boy in front of you was one of those people, but you could see a special glint in his eye and you were pretty sure that wasn't the case.

"It's a bit of a long story." You said turning towards your dorm, not caring about the time or the hot weather that still bothered you. “Mind if we talk while we eat ice cream?”

For someone his size, Malleus nearly jumped and let out a squeal of excitement at the invitation. But he regained his composure quickly and hid what he felt behind a forced, loud cough, finally agreeing to escort you into the dorm so you could chat some more while enjoying a good old-fashioned ice cream. It was easy to tell it was his favorite dessert from the way he was almost floating down the stairs to the door, a shy little smile on his lips.

If he'd noticed how old everything was, he'd been kind enough not to mention it in front of you, escorting you into the kitchen to watch the careful way you poured two bowls of ice cream and hummed a tune he didn't know.

“Here it is, hope you like it!” You handed him a bowl of ice cream, smiling. And he thanked you with a polite nod, pushing his long hair behind his ear before eating the delicious dessert. “My name is Yuu, by the way. What is your name?"

The boy in front of you laughed once more before giving you an enigmatic look. “I prefer that you remain without that knowledge. You see, it's for your own good, I assure you. However, I grant you permission to give me a nickname.”

Granted, the toothless human version could be a little eccentric, but you looked at it through a more optimistic lens and thought of various puns on dragons and their names. Tiamat, Sunfyre, Toothless and many other names, but you ended up choosing the nickname Tsunotaro. In your head it made complete sense, at least and suited him.

"Well, as promised I'll tell you why dragons are important." You left your ice cream bowl on the sink as you came to sit on the counter, standing at the same height as Tsunotaro. The common nervousness and anxiety of coming out tickled your belly, but at that point you already knew how to handle it and took a deep breath. “There’s a thing called asexuality, it is a sexuality characterized by a lack of attraction and a desire to, umm, have intimate relationships with someone. Some asexual people like to cuddle and kiss and be in romantic relationships and situations. Other people may not be interested in any of this either, it varies greatly from person to person. Got the general idea?”

Tsunotaro nodded, still eating his ice cream slowly savoring all its flavors and listening to every word you said with great interest.

“Well, as we were little seen and understood by society we kind of associate asexuality with dragons. They don't exist in the world I come from, but I've always taken comfort in the thought of them, as they are so free and big and strong and happy." You smiled with the memories of your past. How you spent hours drawing messy dragons in your notebooks or making plans to invade Denmark while eating garlic bread. Those were the happiest and loneliest days, mainly because you hadn't had the opportunity to meet many people like you or who fully understood your expectations and fears. “You reminded me of a dragon because of your horns. I hope you don't find this too strange or offensive."

Tsunotaro, however, waved his hand away to dismiss your worried thought. “You are certainly not wrong, child of man, since in part I am a dragon, yes. With a pair of horns and a tail, and if I wanted I could take the full form of a dragon, so I'm flattered to think that thousands of people adore my kind and feel safe and happy when they think of us.”

He smiled. A relaxed, happy smile as he leaned his back against the counter you sat on, the silence that fell between the two of you was the comfortable kind. Almost as if two good old friends had been reunited after a long time apart. "You... You can touch them if you still want to, fufu." he said suddenly, lowering his head and peering in your direction with one of his emerald eyes.

But you hesitated. You had just met him and it felt so strange to touch his horns all of a sudden, but when you looked at him and realized he was serious and he really didn't care, you touched them. From base to tip, feeling the texture and trying to remember if you've ever touched anything that looked like this.

Unbelieving that a sleepless night made you befriend a half dragon, you look into Tsunotaro's face intently and study each expression carefully. How he shivers at the chills running down his spine when you hold his horns, how he closes his eyes and sighs when you massage them. As he goes silent, you decide to go ahead with it. It's so weird, but it's so interesting at the same time. Despite their appearance, they are soft and warm to the touch and he seems to enjoy having his horns massaged like that. The relaxed expression he wears makes you laugh, it's almost like petting a kitten and watching its reactions. He's cute like that.

"You know, I believe we'll be good friends." You mumble softly. At the very least, you hope that after all this the two of you can be friends, as he seemed like someone genuinely nice to spend time with.

The sweet sound of his laughter echoed through the kitchen as he looked at you. "I'd love it if we were friends, child of man. Could you tell me more about asexuality?"

You nodded enthusiastically, feeling really welcomed and comfortable. And for the rest of the night you and he were talking about it, making jokes and puns and just having fun.

And that was the story of how you met Malleus Draconia. For people who would like a more elaborate and challenging plot this could be a rather ordinary and boring story, but for him and for you it was a pleasant story and full of good memories. A story of a dragon and his ace friend.

[duskamethyst]

broken reverie.

a/n: he’s not wearing glasses in this one.

word count: 3.9k

genre: smut, nsfw, college AU

warnings: taboo rs, slapping, spanking, choking, face fucking, brat taming (kind of), slight degradation, creampie, age gap (nanami reaching 40)

pairing: professor!nanami x f!reader

summary: professor nanami calls you to his office to ‘talk’ about your terrible performance in his class.

maybe you went too far.

or else you wouldn’t have ended up in his office. 

but is this the outcome you coveted? yes.

the door creaks behind you before it closes again as you sit and wait in front of the big wooden desk. you were kind of excited when he told you to come and see him at his office earlier but now you’re having a whirlwind of emotions making your stomach churn and you don’t dare to look around to face him– even though he’s going to be sitting in front of you in a moment.

his shoes clack against the floor as he strides and sits on his chair. the air in the room feels dense when the male doesn’t say anything; as if you’re not in his presence to begin with.

he looks exasperated. a long, deep breath is emitted through his nostrils as he loosens up his tie from the collar. you only gawk at him in awe as he does so, but quickly snap out when he finally shifts his gaze at you. 

“so, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” he finally breaks the silence. the deep, husky tone of his voice fills your ear and you hope he doesn’t notice your thighs press against each other almost immediately.

“tell you.. what?” you mentally slap yourself. you’re clearly aware of what he’s insinuating but you’re suddenly lost for words. there’s a huge difference between seeing him in class and being alone together with him. it’s even more nerve wrecking than you imagined and oh god, is his ac broken? because it suddenly feels hot.

nanami raises a brow, evidently unamused. “i had the courtesy to make time for you when i should be having brunch now so i don’t appreciate you playing coy.” 

you gulp audibly, “i’m sorry, sir.”

“if it’s not clear to you yet, i’m talking about your grades.” he opens the drawer under his desk and pulls out a pile of paper before slamming it in front of you. you blink in surprise and flip through the pages, though you know you don’t need to see it when you already know what lies on them. there are a lot of red circles on the papers, namely yours, with huge unpleasant numbers on the corner ranging from 12% to 25%. 

then he takes out another file which you realize as your student record throughout your semester and the subjects you currently take. 

“i find it odd that you scored well for your other courses.” he skims through the pages. “you certainly didn’t cheat, i can tell.”

“no, of course not.”

“then, what’s the problem here?” his tired eyes bore into you as he waits for you to answer or come up with whatever excuse.

“well, i–” 

“you’re doing it on purpose.” he snaps.

it’s as if time comes to a stop. your cheeks heat up with humiliation and you can’t bring yourself to continue to look at him in the eyes. although you’re aware that your silence means compliance, you’re still jumbling up words in your head to deny his assumption. 

“are you going to tell me i’m wrong?” 

“yes– i-i mean–” you stammer.

“then enlighten me.” he glances at the branded watch donned on his left wrist. “we have time.”

you shake your head, “i have another class soon.”

“skip it.” he quickly retorts. “i’m sure you have no problems with that. your grades are doing well for that one, but certainly not mine.”

sweat starts to form on your palms as you look down on your thighs, purposely avoiding his eyes that hold nothing but so much intensity. you’re weighing between two options; to keep on bluffing or come clean. you don’t think that nanami would let you get off the hook if you keep on lying and you’d definitely be bombarded with more questions, yet the outcome of the latter would be so embarrassing and you don’t know if you can live it down for the rest of the semester.

you’ve fantasized about being alone with him but.. not particularly this way. 

gathering courage and taking a deep breath, you decide it’s best to just tell him the truth.

“you’re right,” you feel your ears burning, hands clammy. “i purposely failed your class.”

lifting up your head, you see the male grinning lopsidedly in his seat. maybe he’s pleased that you’re not wasting his time anymore, you’re not sure, he’s not easy to read.

“wasn’t that easy?” he folds his arms in front of his chest. “i have my own speculation but i wanna hear why you did it.”

“um,” you look down to your hands again, also half wondering what kind of bold assumption he has in mind. “i was dared by my friend.”

“wrong,” he scoffs. “and look at me while you’re talking.”

you sigh defeatedly and nervously fix your gaze. if you’ve learned one thing now, it’s that your professor doesn’t have tolerance for bullshit and he knows one when he hears one.

“i-i did it for.. attention.” 

“my attention?” he emphasizes, maintaining his stoic persona to mask his amusement of finding out that his speculation turns out to be indeed true.

you purse your lips in a thin line, nodding your head quietly. nanami remains to stare at you as he ponders in silence. you can hear your heart beating rapidly in your ears and you want to break eye contact so badly but you’re certain it wouldn’t be wise. 

“all that, just for a crumb of my attention?” he spits with a hint of venom in his voice. “are you happy with what you did?”

well, you’ve imagined him punishing you on his desk, fuck you raw or spank you with his belt until your ass turns red– not some serious interrogation.

“no, sir.” 

nanami props his elbows on the table, hands clasped under his chin to keep his head up. the air around him becomes even more threatening but it somehow manages you to feel even more aroused, making your toes curl in your shoes. you definitely need to get out soon.

“you know, if i have even one student failing my class, i could get into trouble and be questioned for my performance.” he starts. “to have you doing that for your own selfish incentive is unacceptable, don’t you think?”

“i’m sorry.” you mumble with meek.

“besides that, you might have to retake this course again for your next semester and it’ll waste your time– or..?”

you stay silent to let him continue.

“or you were intending to be in my class again so you can see me?” 

“y-yes.” you bashfully admit after one silent moment, knowing that lying will take you nowhere. “i’m sorry, sir.”

nanami chuckles, finding your naivety to be rather entertaining. never has he ever met a student like you, outwardly expressing their interest in him by failing their paper. he’s not too sure what you’re trying to get out of him but maybe he can put one and one together. it’s pretty common that younger women have an attraction to older men like him and your classmates are.. well, not exactly the best looking either. 

“are you?” he smirks cynically. “do you have any idea how many students i have to monitor? how tiring my job can be?”

“yes. it was inconsiderate of me. i’m sor–”

“show me.” nanami cuts you off and leans back on his chair. maybe he can push you a little bit, he thinks. you owe him this anyway.

you blink, perplexed. “what?”

“you kept saying sorry.” he undoes two of the buttons on his blue dress shirt and spreads his legs apart. “talk is cheap. show me.” 

you do a double take as he taps his thigh and waits for you to come over. you have the faintest idea of what he’s implying but your body freezes and your brain short-circuits as if paralyzed.

“you chose to lie again? you’re not really sorry, are you?” 

“no, no! that’s not it. i just..” 

an ongoing battle takes place in your mind– sure that this is a part of your deepest, darkest fantasy yet you’re just baffled over how quick nanami catches on to it. now that your debaucherous dream has become a vivid reality, you don’t know which is the right step to take. 

“but if not now, when?” a soft voice in your head whispers. if desire could embody a voice, you think this is it. gentle, yet seductive as if it attempts to give you a push to pluck and have a taste of the forbidden fruit. 

“how much longer do you have to touch yourself to the thoughts of your professor before you go to bed?”

“although this could be a one time thing, at least you’d know how it feels like.” 

you slowly get up from your seat and make your way towards him. nanami’s eyes trail up at you, down to the floor then back up at you; gesturing you to get on your knees.

you settle between his thick thighs and look up at him timidly through your lashes before you bring your hands to undo his belt.

“no hands.” he quickly demands. 

you lick your lips as you figure the structure of the belt and how you’re going to take it off without the aid of your hands. the taste of cold metal and leather instantly invades your palate as you feebly use your teeth to tug the front loop of his belt. your head shifts awkwardly side to side until you finally get to catch the buckle between your teeth, pulling it hard before the belt soon unfastens.

nanami only observes you indifferently from above, yet the large tent in front of you doesn’t conceal the excitement he currently possesses. 

you take a deep breath before you continue on succeeding your quest. you twist your neck as you find and tug on the fabric loop that holds the button.

“i know you’re a smart girl.” he praises as he rests his hand on top of your head while you struggle to lift up the zipper with your tongue and grasp it between your teeth. the simple praise inflates your confidence and you become more eager to complete your task so you can claim your awaiting prize.

with valiantness, you finally lock eyes with him as you pull down his zipper completely to reveal the huge bulge pressing against the fabric of his briefs and the tip slightly poking out from the top. 

“hm? you still have to take it out, no?” he smirks as he notices you gape at the outline of his cock. 

you quickly pull yourself together and lean back up to the stretchy band on his waist. he hisses when he feels your tongue purposely graze against the flushed tip before you pull down the briefs by force to reveal the one thing you’ve been desiring for so long. 

you press your thighs together as a dull ache forms in your core from the sight of his thick cock standing proudly in front of you. it’s nothing like you’ve ever imagined– it’s better and you’ve finally found it worth going through all that trouble of failing his class (and using your mouth to take off his pants).

“this is what you want, isn’t it?” he sneers, titling up your chin with his fingers, brushing your lips with his thumb and pulling the bottom lip apart so he can see a row of teeth.

“y-yes, sir.” you gulp and breathe as you wait for his next command. 

nanami’s lips tug into a conceited smirk, “suck.” 

leaning down your head to the base, you flatten your tongue underneath the shaft and slowly drag upwards in favor of reveling the veins on his hard cock. nanami lets out a sigh of content when he feels your tongue licking his tip and his hand tugs on your locks by reflex. you look at him as you wrap your lips around the tip, slobbering the tip with your saliva and his precum.

“fuck.” he curses under his breath and his head falls back when the warmth of your mouth finally engulfs his throbbing cock as you take most of the length inside your mouth.

you hollow your cheeks together, head bobbing up and down as you struggle to take more of his cock that you nearly choke whenever the tip hits the back of your throat, but the hand on top of your head grabs a fistful of your hair and he pushes your head down to sink all his length inside your mouth deeper. when you want to pull away, he only holds you in place and remains his cock down your throat. 

“through your nose.” he mutters. tears start to well in your eyes while your saliva just trickles down to his balls as he screws his eyes shut and relishes in the pleasure that washes throughout his body. “i needed this so bad, you know?” 

your whines only give him more stimulation and his hips jerk in response, “just wouldn’t think that a student– fuck– out of all people would choke on my dick.” he lets out a sardonic chuckle as if something just crossed his mind. “it’s wrong, but that’s what makes it feel so good, isn’t it?” 

nanami keeps you in the position as he ruts his hips slowly into your throat. his eyes are closed in concentration and his lips part slightly in fast and short pants. you work on your gag reflex as you let him fuck your mouth, enduring the sharp sting on your scalp when he tugs your hair harder– at least you know you’re making him feel good.

“if i cum in your mouth, you’d gladly swallow, won’t you?” 

you can feel his cock twitching when you let out a choke of assent from your throat but you splutter as soon as nanami abruptly pulls away his cock because of a sudden knock on the door that startles the both of you.

“get under the desk.” he urges and you quickly crawl to hide while he coughs and inches closer to his desk. “come in.”

you hear the door open followed by echoes of footsteps before it comes to a halt in front of his desk.

“didn’t i tell you to contact me before seeing me?” his voice is laced with irritation yet collected as he speaks. you can imagine the agitated look on his face, thinking it would be only natural for anyone to assume that he’s already having a bad day. and to them, interrupting the peak of his orgasm is most definitely not it. 

without a second thought, you take back his dick inside your mouth. a spur of triumph swells in your chest when you feel his body jolts in surprise. you think it’s only fair since he has choked you with his cock and what perfect timing to carry out your petty vengeance when the man is busy advising his student. 

however, nanami shifts on his seat to give you more access to take more length of his cock. he tries to stay composed as he feels your tongue gliding up and down his shaft but once the wet muscle prods against the slit, he emits an oddly sharp exhale. you can hear him almost stammering as he speaks and the way his tone changes to conceal the squelching sounds you elicit from underneath the table as you please his cock with zeal.

“so, i want you to fix the mistake and hmm..,” his hands ball into fists on the table as he takes a deep breath. “show me in class tomorrow.”

“sure. uh, are you okay, sir?” you hear the voice say. “you don’t look well.”

his eye twitches when your tongue wraps around his balls, taking one inside your mouth to suck harshly.

“yeah, fine.” he clears his throat. “thanks for asking.”

nanami only watches as his student turns to walk towards the door until the door closes behind him. once he’s sure that the student has left the door, he finally leans back on his chair in relief. 

“fuck.” he groans, glancing down at you as you look up at him innocently with doe eyes and your swollen lips wrapped prettily around his balls. yet, he looks dissatisfied more than anything. 

nanami grabs your arm and drags you out from under his desk until you’re on your feet, “i never took you as a fucking brat.” he lifts up your skirt and bites back a groan once he sees the damp patch on your panties. “did you touch yourself?”

you hum a ‘mhm’, feigning guiltlessness as he grazes his fingers on your inner thighs. 

“you’re just asking for me to touch you here, hm?” shivers run up your spine when his thumb ghosts over your wet slit and up to your clit.

“y-yes.” your breath hitches.

“begging for me to push your head on the table and ram my cock inside you?” he muses, pressing on your clit as he watches you squirm. “is that what you want?”

“please–” you roll your hips slightly to soothe the ache on his thumb but a hand comes down harshly on your ass, gesturing for you to stop in a fierce manner.

nanami chuckles mockingly, “well, that’s what exactly you’re not going to get.”

a whine elicits from your lips when he draws back his hands to his thighs and you glance at his dick; still throbbing and leaking precum from the florid tip. well, at least he hasn’t put it back inside his pants, so you still have a chance.

“come on. you haven’t shown me how much you’re sorry.”

with your inhibitions already flew out of the window, you stand in between his thighs, hoist the skirt to your waist and tug your panties to the side before squatting down to smear your slick on his dick. sparks of arousal swim through you as you grind your clit on the tip before you sink down, gasping as his thick cock stretches your cunt and down until you’re filled to the brim.

you glance at the male expectantly, waiting for him to move but he raises a questioning brow at you, “if you want something, work for it.”

not exactly what you sought for, but it should suffice. you begin to gyrate your hips slowly, adjusting to his size before you can pick up the pace. you fight the urge to hold onto him for leverage, in fear he wouldn’t appreciate the crumple on his expensive dress shirt later.

as you become more delirious, you start to hump his cock vigorously, whining like a bitch in heat as you feel every vein and ridges on his cock brushing deliciously against your walls. nanami lifts the hem of your shirt and brings it up to your mouth and you quickly catch it between your teeth. 

“the door isn’t locked, you know.” he muses, staring at your bouncing tits with half lidded eyes; mesmerized and thick with lust. “what’s going to happen if someone comes in and sees you bouncing on her professor’s cock like a little whore?”

a low, guttural sound rips from his throat when he feels your walls clenching around him in response.

“you’d like that, don’t you?” he smirks, tugging your bra down slightly and brushes his thumb against the erected nipple, making you mewl through the fabric in your mouth.

“you know you’re not supposed to do this but,” he brings up his thumb to caress your cheek. “you’re just so eager to please me, aren’t you?”

you sniffle in response, hands clutching on his solid thighs as you melt into his soft gaze before it’s gone in an instant.

“but i don’t like brats.” he sneers, drawing his hand away to slap your breast. “i don’t like people making my job harder. are you a brat?”

you shake your head, he slaps again.

“you act like one. stop lying.”

nanami tugs down the shirt from your mouth, a part of the fabric already drenched with your drool. his large hand circles around your throat while the other grips your hip firmly to roll your hip even faster on his dick. 

“oh– feels good–!” you moan wantonly, eyes rolling back as you let him control your body and assert his dominance over you.

“fuck it does.” he presses your throat tighter on the sides, restricting air from entering your lungs but your walls squeeze harder in retaliation. 

“bratty little bitch. clamping down on me like that.” he grits out and slaps across your face. what seems to be a rather harsh form of treatment, the pleasure filled sting and the lack of oxygen only fuel your arousal that you don’t even notice the way you hump on his cock has become more rapturous.

“getting off to this?” nanami slaps your other cheek before he lets go of his grip around your neck and you’re finally able to breathe air again. yet, he doesn’t spare you time to gather yourself before he promptly lifts up your hips and starts to pound inside your cunt relentlessly. 

the position causes you to tip to the front and you immediately hold on to him; face burying on the crook of his neck while his cologne fills your senses and sends you into a state of frenzy. 

“you like me using your tight cunt like that?” nanami grabs your ass for leverage, the angle allows him to fuck you so deep that you’re able to feel his cockhead kissing your cervix with each thrust. 

“y-yes–!” you cry, the pressure in your stomach building up as you inch closer to an orgasm.

“like it when i use you to take out my frustrations?” he spanks the meaty flesh; walls clenching tighter on his fat cock and more slick dripping down his balls. “you just want to be my little cocksleeve, don’t you?”

“yesyesyes– please–!” your body starts to tremble above him. “w-wanna cum–”

“then fucking cum.” nanami rams into your cunny faster, abusing the spongy walls until the pressure snaps and tips you over the edge. you moan breathlessly into his neck, while your pussy gushes and creams around his cock. 

“that’s a good girl,” he fucks you through your high, grunting and panting as he pushes through the pulsing walls in order to chase his high. “and good girls get rewarded, right?”

you hum in agreement, still dazed and swimming in ecstasy as you gawk at him with heavy lidded eyes; the sweat glistening his forehead and sharp eyes focusing on where your bodies join. 

“then you’re gonna get some huge load in this pretty pussy.” his pace begins to stutter, nails digging deeper into your skin before his cock twitches and his hips freeze as he paints your insides white with cum.

both exhausted bodies rest against each other, chests heaving as you and nanami take time to regain composure and come down from your highs. he lifts you up slightly to take out his spent cock and he tugs back your panties in place, not minding the cum that dribbles from your quivering hole. 

your legs tremble once you get off of him that you have to force yourself to find your footing as you fix your skirt while the older male pulls back his pants in place. 

“do your best for your next papers, no more of that bullshit.” he fastens his buttons and straightens his tie before raising his hands to brush against his sleek, light brown hair that’s mixed with a few strands of grey. “but if you have any problems, just come and see me in my office.”

nanami falls quiet for a brief second to contemplate and you straighten your back when you once again meet his icy gaze, “after hours.”

enjoyed this piece? wanna buy me coffee? :)

duskamethyst © 2020 • do not modify, translate or repost anywhere.

[plural-culture-is]

Okay, I'm seriously questioning being a plural or somehow counting as a plural because there are a LOT of common experiences of plurals that don't feel right but also a LOT of common experiences of plurals which is something I've had for as long as I can remember

When I was younger, I had at least 4 imaginary friends that I honestly don't remember much about, but I probably didn't control or didn't feel like I controlled any of them, as they did things on their own that were a bit difficult for a child at my age to think, like sit somewhere on their own because they were tired (according to my mother) and still had quite a different personality from me, but they weren't inspired by me at all (as a girl from rainbow hair who wore jeans? I DON'T EVEN LIKE JEANS!!!), but I honestly don't know if I really imagined them on my own or not, I just know that they disappeared some time later and I never saw them again

Sometimes, when I'm really stressed, I write texts talking about how I would protect myself or how I would treat myself well if I "were there" and hmmm maybe it's just some form of self embracement? idk

Since I was very young, I've had A LOT of problems with identities, including various dissociations (with unusual frequency) where I couldn't look at or think about my face or myself in general without literally feeling unreal, or somehow "in the wrong body", I thought for a while that it could be dysphoria or something but I realized that no, it's just feeling like I shouldn't be there but also feeling like you shouldn't be anywhere or even exist in fact. Also, my gender is inconsistent, I don't have ANY name or title that I'm comfortable with or that "sounds like me" (and even when one sounds good, once I start using it it always starts to sound wrong), my pronouns are endless because there's no right pronoun for me so I just accept them all, my sexuality and feelings in general also always seem SO weird, like I don't have any fixed identity, like I'm a shapeshifter who changes all the time and doesn't have a single true or close to true form, and that's annoying. It almost doesn't even feel like I'm a person. I don't even identify as human or feel like I'm any species or concept, everything feels right and wrong at the same time.

I don't inherently feel like there are people in my brain that are separate from me, but I feel like my identity is a weird mix of various people's identities, like there's nothing right because technically all of this is right and all of that is wrong at the same time.

I, since I heard about the experiences of being a system, felt something very strange, like a feeling that I should be that. Something like an ache because "hm, I should be that, but for some bad luck I'm not", it was almost sad, like "bro i want to be a separate person instead of THAT WEIRD MIX"

I also don't feel like there are people "controlling" me, nor do I "hear voices" (no more than those normal voices of thought), much less do I have an "inner world", I just... I feel like I am "one thing that shouldn't be just ONE thing", if that makes sense, like "I'm just one person, but something tells me there should be more people here" and at the same time it scares me because my whole I've been that "together", I also know that it seems wrong to say that I'm "just one person" because I technically AM one person, but not in the way that one person is just one person, but in the way that a fusion of Steven Universe could be considered one person while assuming that it is a mixture of different people that have come together so well that there is now only one person.

I think that's it? I'll probably say more if I remember, so I'll just call myself "🤔 anon" for now

(Btw, if it's important information: I'm autistic, I have ADHD, I have OCD, I'm probably BPD and I'm almost certainly AvPD, and maybe-but-not-sure DPD and do have trauma so... hm, i hope it helps 🐞)

(🤔 anon) ANOTHER VERY COMMON EXPERIENCE FOR ME is how many times I find myself saying "we" did something when I mean "I" did something. But "I" always feels wrong because I feel like there were more "parts" of me in that situation. Maybe it's something along the lines of "I had too many thoughts at the time to say it was just one person thinking", but I'm not entirely sure.

Another experience that I also think is important to mention: There is a kind of fictional "default" scenario in my brain that I usually imagine myself. It's almost like a world of its own and I can almost feel myself there. It's my grandmother's house (where, funnily enough, most of my dreams, that aren't in totally non-existent places, happen) and there's a kind of party going on, so all the people at the party (my family) are gathered in one place and sometimes I automatically start imagining myself in this scenario showing them things. Other times, that scenario is a little less visual, but I'm still showing them all these things and listening to their docile responses. They practically NEVER react like my family would (or even close to it) and in fact, even though in my head their image is VERY LIKE my family, I never refer to them by my family names, let alone feel any connection to them and my real family.

Of course I have a few other imaginary scenarios, like when I imagine myself hosting a show or something, but it's different, because those are more conscious scenarios, whereas it almost feels wrong not to talk to "my fictional family" if I like to something. Maybe this is just a way of dealing with the fact that I don't feel like there are enough people in my life that I can talk about my tastes, but it's still weird that I can spend literally 4 hours straight in a quiet room without a single device or distraction, just talking to my fictional family about anything.

Also, another thing that might be useful: I've tried MANY times to separate myself into several "persons" to try to understand my identity, but I always have to fill in endless blanks and it's literally impossible for me to say which traits of mine match each of these "persons".

Think of it as seeing a ball of yarn and trying to unravel it in order to make several clothes because it was big enough to make dozens of coats! But then you started to unravel it and you realized how all these threads are too small to make one garment by themselves, but they are all too different to come together to make one garment. So all those threads are stuck in the state of "being a mess" because there isn't anything they could be harmoniously, whether it's several whole garments or a single garment made up of all the threads.

honestly some of that is relatable for us, those were some of our feelings when we were first questioning if we're a system. maybe you're a median system, which could be why you can't separate yourself into distinct individuals, or maybe you have did/osdd which means you don't necessarily have to identify as plural, you could see it in the more medicalised view of you're not multiple people, but you do have different identities that you dissociate between (and if you don't have distinct identities it's more likely to be osdd-1a). also, as a monoconscious system, we don't usually "hear" headmates speaking because in order for them to speak they'd have to be conscious, and it's difficult for more than one headmate to be conscious at once. we also don't feel anyone "controlling" us because we have non-possessive switches, so we just feel as though we become each other. so that's possibly what's going on for you. or maybe you're another type of plural that doesn't have a name yet or we haven't heard of. also that family thing is interesting but unfortunately i have no input to give on it. i'm asking people reading this to let anon know if you relate to any of this and maybe give your own input, if you'd like. but as always, only you can know if you're a system. also having an unstable identity and taking on traits of other people can be a part of bpd. so just make sure you do your research before you decide what label/s (if any) to go with!

[collecting-stories]

Jellyfish - JJ Maybank

Request: Hey! I was wondering or you could do an outer banks imagine where like in season one the pogues leave kie, Sarah and reader on a boat, and the reader is the one getting stung by a jellyfish. The night goes on and she starts having an allergic reaction the jellyfish sting and her breathing starts to go bad and all dizzy. The girls have to call a mayday. And the sherif/ambulance boat? Comes and gets her or the pogues come back the next morning and she is not well at all. Then hospital. The pogues feel really badx Maybe reader x jj?  

A/N: I just started a rewatch of s1 tonight so I can finally watch s2...also I googled allergic reactions to a jellyfish sting for this. 

Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

Sarah stood beside you, practically holding you up, as you emptied the contents of your stomach into the marsh for the fifth time in so many minutes. The boys plan to strand Sarah and Kiara on the boat hadn’t been a very clever one and when you had protested JJ had jokingly pushed you over the edge of the HMS, claiming that now you too were stranded with them. 

It wasn’t exactly how you’d planned to spend your night, especially with everyone on each other’s nerves as severely as they were, you’d been looking forward to taking advantage of that and spending the night back at your house with JJ. Instead, you were stranded on Heyward’s boat with Kiara and Sarah bitching at each other. Not to mention the angry red mark blossoming over your stomach from the jellyfish that had stung you as you’d tread water earlier.  

“I thought you said you could fix this stupid piece of shit!” Sarah shouted to Kiara as she rubbed her hand along your back. The juxaposition of her kindness to you and her edgyness with Kiara wasn’t lost on you...even as you felt your head swimming.  

“I gotta lay down,” you urged, hands gripping the edge of the boat as you rested your chin against the cool side, staring into the murky water. It was starting to get darker outside but you weren’t paying attention to that anymore. You felt like you were going to throw up again though this time it felt prompted by the dizzy feeling when you moved your head and not the pain shooting through your abdomen.  

“Okay, let’s lay down...do you want a blanket or something?” Sarah asked, eyes darting around the boat to check for any spare blankets or sweatshirts.

You shook your head, immediately regretting the action as your vision blurred. “No...no, it’s so hot.” When you struggled to get JJ’s shirt over your head without moving too much, Sarah grabbed the hem of the shirt and eased it up.  

“She doesn’t need your help!” Kiara yelled from the hatch, looking out at you with concern. You’d been fine earlier, before you’d boarded the boat with them, before the jellyfish stung you, but now you were doing worse and worse. She was trying to fix the boat but it was obvious that JJ and John B’s genius plan had included purposely sabotaging any chance they had of getting the boat back to shore.  

“Obviously, she does!” Sarah shouted back, “she’s puking over the side of the fucking boat! What was in that shit you rolled anyway?”

Kiara looked incredulous at the suggestion that it was the weed they’d smoked that made you like this, “oh cause I poisoned my best friend with weed? Is that it?”  

“Maybe!” Sarah shrugged, “how should I know.”

“Not helping,” you groaned, rolling to the side and pressing your hand against your stomach. “Kie...my stomach is killing me.”  

“What can I do?” She asked, coming back over to you and Sarah.  

“Call for the coast guard or something?” Sarah suggested, looking out over the marsh as if someone would just happen to be driving through. It was pitch black now, the night falling completely. It wasn’t too late yet, close to 9:30p Sarah supposed, but she wasn’t confident that this could last until morning. Who knew when the boys would come back?

“With what phone Sarah? The tower is down.”  

“Swim to shore or something then!” She snapped.

“Sure, no problem...why didn’t I think of that? I’ll jump in the fucking marsh in the pitch black and swim toward what I think might be land!” Kiara shouted.

“Guys,” you snapped, pulling yourself up to the edge of the ship again. You felt like you were going to throw up again but there wasn’t anything left in your stomach, “shut the fuck up! You aren’t helping...I know they messed with the boat, is the radio working?”

“Let me check.” Kiara stood up from your side and headed back to the controls, checking the radio. “I’ve got a signal!”  

You weren’t sure how long it took between Kiara signaling a mayday and the police boat actually coming out on the marsh because you passed out soon after she’d gotten the signal, slumped against Sarah, the pain in your side and abdomen too much for you to bear. Neither of the girls wanted to leave you overnight in the hospital, worried something would happen the second they left your side, so Kiara scribbled a note and left it taped to the window of the boat.  

Gone to the hospital – was all it said. Not very descriptive but extremely alarming, the boys had arrived at the emergency room frantic.  

“What the fuck kind of scare tactic was that Kie!” JJ had shouted down the hallway when he saw his friend outside one of the rooms. A nurse down the same hall shushed him as he passed her and he turned around to flip her off.  

“Excuse me but you three deserve it after the shit you pulled! Leaving us stranded out there with no communication? You’re lucky the radio worked.” Sarah hissed, shoving JJ when he tried to get passed her into the room.  

The second he’d seen her it had been clear the person who was missing, the one who was undoubtedly in the hospital bed in the room he was standing outside of. You’d gotten hurt, seriously if you were here, if they’d had to mayday a police boat.

“What happened?” Pope asked, quieter than his best friend had been able to muster.

“She’s allergic to jellyfish.” Sarah replied, turning a glare on JJ, “when this moron pushed her in the water she got stung and had a reaction.”  

“Is she okay?”

“She’ll be alright...she’s dehydrated though, so she’s on fluids for the rest of the – JJ!” Kiara snapped when he pushed passed her to get into the room. He moved the curtain aside to see you there, still a little out of it from the exhaustion of the night before but you smiled when you saw him.  

“Hey,” he dropped his voice down to a whisper, a contrast to the sharp scrap of the chair that he dragged to your bedside, “I’m so sorry.”

“Guess I’m allergic to something after all.” You managed to tease, recalling the conversation you’d had a few weeks earlier when JJ had begrudgingly given up the peanut butter and jelly sandwich he was trying to make at John B’s when you reminded him that he was highly allergic to peanuts.

He’d claimed that “maybe it went away”, a possibility you both knew to be impossible while you told him that you weren’t stabbing him with an epi-pen if he had an allergic reaction. “I would stab you, if you were allergic to anything,” JJ had replied, settling for jelly on toast instead. 

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” JJ said now, eyeing the bag of fluids that was connected to you via IV. “I would’ve been fine thinking you didn’t have any allergies.” 

“It’s not your fault JJ, it was an accident...I could’ve been stung a million times before this, we literally live on the coast.” You tried to laugh and coughed; throat still sore. JJ grabbed for the pitcher of water at your bedside and poured you a glass, leaning over to help you swallow.  

“Yeah but you didn't get stung a million times before this...you got stung after I pushed you in!”

“We should let you get some rest,” Pope’s voice sounded over JJ’s shoulder and you both looked over to where he was standing at the curtain. He smiled at you, a silent ‘glad you’re okay’ and ‘sorry’ rolled into one.  

You nodded, more than aware that you were on the verge of falling asleep again. Still, you reached for your boyfriend’s hand, settling for his wrist instead as he was still holding the plastic cup. “Will you stay?” you asked, eyes meeting JJ’s.  

“Yeah, of course.” He promised, sitting back down, “I’m not going anywhere.” He didn’t mention the absolute panic that had racked through him when he saw Kiara’s note or realized you were the one that was injured and he definitely didn’t tell you how severely he blamed himself for you getting stung in the first place, instead he just sat there holding your hand and promising that he would stay there with you until you were discharged. “Everything’s okay, you’re okay.”  

[freakynct]

「 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐 」

— 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑 —

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: church boy!mark, exhibitionism, degradation, praising, fingering and masturbation

“you really had to wear such a short dress, y/n?” your mom said with an angry look to her face as she rubbed her hand through the dress, trying to fix it and pull it down.

“mom will you stop? it's not even that short.” you fought back, pushing her hand away from you with an annoyed grunt, rolling your eyes.

the sky was blue and clear but the air felt dry and intensely hot, burning on your legs and arms. luckily that was the last thing bothering you right now as you scanned through all the people waiting outside of the church, engaging in cheerful conversations and adorning big smiles on their faces. all but you. you had been waiting for approximately 10 minutes but you couldn’t seem to find mark anywhere. you even noticed some of the friends he normally hung around with talking next to the stairs but he wasn't anywhere near. you were starting to get disappointed since the only thing that made these masses interesting was mark. and you would be lying if you said you hadn’t been extremely horny these past few days thinking about last time you were with him.

“y/n!” your mom called ahead of you. “you always got your head in the clouds, c’mon, the mass is starting.” you rolled your eyes and walked behind your family, dragging your feet until you were inside of the tall cold building where everyone was taking their seat. “you’re sitting with us today.” your mom spoke again, grabbing your arm but you were quick to set it free.

“no! i always sit with my friends.” you talked back, annoyance evident in your voice but your attitude was pushed back as soon as you saw your dad appear behind your mom.

“that’s exactly why. you always sit in the back and you spend the whole time talking and never pay any attention to what the pastor is saying.” his voice was low but stern and all you could do was cross your arms in disagreement and divert your gaze away from him. “so drop that attitude and don’t talk to your mother like that. now sit.” was the last thing he said before he sat down on the wooden bench but suddenly a familiar voice interrupted the heated family discussion.

“y/n can sit with me.” you almost froze at the voice right behind you, feeling his body dangerously close to yours. “i’ll make sure she pays attention and listens to everything my father says.”

you finally had the courage to look and face the boy standing behind you. his eyes that were once focused on your parents slowly looked at you and you noticed a small smile forming on his lips.

“oh lord, no.” your mom said, her expression completely changing and a nervous laugh falling from her lips. “that’s not necessary and we don’t want our daughter to cause you any trouble, mark” she patted his arm friendly but he just continued smiling at her.

“it won’t be any trouble at all, mrs. y/l/n. i insist.” you noticed you had been silent this whole time, quite frankly not even knowing what to do or say and you decided that was probably the best thing to do.

“well... if you insist then i guess there’s no problem. right y/d/n?” she turned to your dad for his opinion and he just nodded and smiled back at mark.

“sure. mark is a good kid and he’ll make sure she listens this time, won’t you son?” your dad said vividly.

“of course, sir. and i already know what sermon my father will give today so i can explain and help y/n if she doesn’t understand something.” you almost jumped when you felt mark’s hand on your lower back, and despite the simple touch, shivers went down your body all the way to your core.

“then go ahead, son. the mass is about to start.” was the last words your dad spoke before both your parents sat back down and mark pulled you with him by your waist. 

he kept his hand firmly against your back and at this point none of you had spoken to each other yet and the silence was killing you. he brought you all the way to the back and to the last benches, away from everyone, and you finally set down as his dad took the stand in front of the church and the loud angelic music started echoing through the thick walls. you finally found the courage to look at him but his gaze was fixed on the ceremony, however you still noticed the slight smirk on his lips. you looked down at your hands that played nervously with the hem of your dress until your attention was brought back to mark.

“you’re not gonna say anything?” he spoke low, his eyes still not looking at you and although the temperature inside the church was cooler, you still felt your body burning inside.

“why did you wanna sit with me?” you whispered, focusing your gaze on the small little mole on his neck.

“you always make the most obvious questions, baby.” he chuckled and you felt your heart beating faster at the sound of the petname but you couldn’t help but look away embarrassed. it was obvious. you kept your eyes down and suddenly his hand appeared in front of you, a piece of white fabric sitting between his fingers and your eyes widened as you realized what that was. “you still want this?” you quickly looked at him and this time he was staring back at you, the smirk on his lips more prominent this time and you could tell he found this amusing. you tried to grab your panties from his hand but he was quicker to move them away, shoving them back inside the pocket of his jeans. “they’re mine now.” he licked his lips and gave you a cocky smile, staring back at you. “and i’ve been having a lot of fun with them.” you felt your cheeks burning and you were suddenly too shy to look at him. you heard him softly laughing to himself at your reaction and you couldn’t help but feel your core throbbing at the thought of mark using your panties to help him masturbate which only added more to your embarrassment. 

you focused on the pastor but not on his words, you tried paying attention but all you could hear were mark’s words echoing inside your head. you almost jumped when you felt his hand being placed on the inside of your thigh, warm and soft.

“did you think about me too?” you felt goosebumps all over your body as mark whispered in your ear, so close that you could hear his breathing, a lot more steady than yours at this point. you felt his hand moving higher on your thigh. “did you touch yourself thinking about me?” his voice was raspy and his lips that were once close to your ear now moved lower to place a wet kiss on your neck and you couldn’t help but close your eyes at the feeling. “i know you did.” he placed another kiss on your cheek. “you’re a little slut and that’s what sluts do.” he whispered back in your ear and you clenched your thighs together in impulse, subsequently causing him to chuckle, his hand now squeezed between your legs.

“mark…” you whispered and it was obvious how weak your voice was compared to his, and you still couldn’t force yourself to look at him.

“shhh.” was all he said. “open your legs, baby.” he whispered and you looked around you first. everyone was still looking ahead, too focused on the mass to even notice anything going on between you two, the closest people to you sitting about 2 benches over.

you felt nervous with so many people around you but you couldn’t ignore the burning feeling between your legs any longer and something about this was exciting and new. you felt mark’s hand squeezing your thigh and that was your queue to slowly part your legs.

“open more.” he whispered again and you nervously looked at him but his smirk was gone and a more stern expression now took place in his face. “do it. now.” his voice was steady and strong although his words were only audible to you. you did as he said and you parted your legs even more, your dress coming up with it. “good girl.” it didn’t take long till his smirk was back on his lips, his hand moving slowly up your thigh and getting dangerously close to where you wanted him more. your eyes closed for a second as his fingers brushed over the fabric of your panties ever so slightly but it was enough to make you crave even more. 

“please…” you begged quietly, your hand now holding his arm.

“please what?” he asked as his fingers brushed against the fabric one more time.

“please touch me.” you were starting to feel impatient, your fingers squeezing his bicep in frustration but he just laughed it off and you almost let a moan escape your lips as he started working circles on your clit through the fabric.

“i am touching you, princess.” he said back, his face still close to you, his breath warm against your ear.

“no.” you whined. “i want your fingers… inside me.” you whispered, your head falling on his shoulder as you kept your eyes shut, focusing on not moaning out from the pleasure but your breathing was starting to get heavy.

“right here? you want me to finger you in front of all these people, hm?” you didn’t need to look at him to know he had the cockiest smirk on his face right now. his finger pushed your panties aside and you almost whined as you felt him finally touching your skin, going back to drawing circles on your clit. “you’re so wet, baby. you wanna cum so bad, don’t you?” 

you quickly nodded your head, whispering an almost inaudible “yes” as he started moving his fingers down your core and soon enough he was pushing two of his fingers inside you. you moaned against his shoulder and your thighs clenched around his hand which made him stop his movements.

“you have to be quiet. you don’t want people finding out how much of a slut you are, do you princess? or is that what you really want? people to see you cum around my fingers? hm?” even tho you shook your head no, mark could still feel you clenching around his fingers and that amused him. “look at me.” you slowly raised your head and your eyes stared back at him shyly, almost closing as he started moving his fingers inside you again, a gasp falling from your lips. “are you gonna be a good girl and keep quiet?” you nodded your head and your teeth sank into your bottom lip and this time you couldn’t look away from him, his brown eyes hypnotizing you somehow as his fingers picked up pace, and without even noticing your own hand went down to circle at your clit which caught even mark by surprise but he wasn’t disappointed. “fuck, you’re so hot.” he whispered and at this moment it was as if even mark lost control of things, his lips meeting yours in a passionate and messy kiss, causing you to let go of a quiet moan and it was as if that brought mark back to life again, his eyes scanning the room to see if anyone was looking.

“m-mark... i’m gonna c-cum.” he looked back at you again, his bottom lip stuck between his teeth and he moved his fingers faster, looking down and watching as you moved yours on your clit and he couldn’t ignore the pressure in his pants anymore, but that would have to be dealt with later. 

soon enough you were throwing your head back on mark’s shoulder and he was quick to place his free hand over your mouth, preventing you from moaning out as you came around his fingers, your body squirming from the pleasure. when he saw that it was safe he removed both of his hands from you and you gasped for air, your head still resting on his shoulder and your eyes still closed. mark took a piece of paper from his pocket and cleaned his fingers. you were startled when you heard the loud bells of the church ringing and all the commotion from people getting up and picking up their stuff. you lifted your head from mark’s shoulder and quickly fixed your messy hair, panties and dress as you heard mark chuckling beside you. you noticed some people looking at both of you as they walked by but no one seemed to know what had happened. that didn’t prevent you from blushing though, as you realized what you had done in such a holy place. mark got up and so did you. your legs felt a bit weak but you had to pull through, especially as you saw your parents approach you.

“we’re not done yet.” was the last thing you heard from mark before he greeted your parents again.

“how did she do?” your dad laughed but mark’s expression seemed serious.

“actually i noticed y/n has some difficulties.” your eyes widened at what he was saying and you looked at him in surprise but he didn’t return the look, continuing the conversation with your parents that now looked really upset and really concerned which was never good for you. “don’t get me wrong, your daughter is a very nice girl but she struggles to understand some of the concepts and gets distracted easily.” you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. was he trying to get you in trouble or something? you were fuming inside and you were already preparing the speech you were gonna give him after all this, but the look your mom gave you made you more concerned about the one you were gonna get instead. “i was thinking that maybe i could have some bible study sessions with her. i already do it for some of the younger kids but i wouldn’t mind doing it with y/n, if that’s something you’re interested in.” it baffled you how polite he spoke in front of your parents when he had been calling you a slut just minutes before.

“mark that’s so nice of you, you’re such a good kid.” you rolled your eyes at the big smile your mom gave him. “but we don’t wanna bother you with our daughter.” you frowned as your mom gave you a disappointed look.

“not at all. it would be my pleasure to help her and it would make my father happy as well.” he gave them a warm smile that was quickly returned.

“if i had a son like you i would be very proud too.” your dad laughed, squeezing the back of mark’s neck in a playful way but the look of horror in his face almost made you burst out laughing.

“y/d/n, let the kid go.” your mom intervened, pulling your dad by his arm. “mark, how much would you want for the sessions?” she asked with a big smile on her face.

“oh nothing mrs. y/ln. i do it for free.” he replied but he was quickly interrupted by your dad.

“nonsense! we must pay you something.” 

“it really isn’t necessary, i don’t charge any other parents for it. i’m simply doing it to spread knowledge and to help out.” you almost puked at so much politeness. 

“why don’t you come over to lunch with us at our house today? you could start your lessons after.” your mom suggested and that was the first time mark looked at you, a smirk on his face as he saw the angry look on yours, turning back to your parents proud of what he had achieved.

“i would love to.”

[luimagines]

Maybe first kiss?? Definitely romantic-

Masterlist

You got it hun!

Part 1 will include Warrior, Twilight and Wild.

Content under the cut!

Warrior

You walked along the road with no true destination in mind as the sun began to set.

You were alone for a change but didn’t mind the lack of company.

The air was sweet and fragrant, the night life beginning to stir around the town as you continued walking.

As you traveled and watched as the houses lit up their candles and the shops closed down as the day winded down to an end.

It was a peaceful moment that you didn’t think you’d have again for a while, not as long as you traveled with Link.

Any of them.

The worst of them was The Captain, you thought to yourself.

And just as you thought it, he appears in front of you.

Surprised just as much as you when you nearly collided with each other. Nothing happened thankfully but you were stunned in your footstep.

“Evenin’ Captin’.” You wink.

Warrior snorts and rolled his eyes. “And here I thought you dropped that name.”

“Would you rather I call you Link?” You grin and begin to walk again.

Warrior doesn’t take the lead like you were expecting him too but that’s just as well. It’s not like you were going anywhere.

“Of course I’d rather you call me by my name. Shame there’s just so many of us.”

“Too many.”

“You love us.”

“If I didn’t, I don’t think there’s any way I would have survived as long as I have with all your shenanigans.” You laugh. 

Warrior hums but doesn’t match your energy.

You look at him and raise an eyebrow. “Were you drinking?”

“Hm?” Warrior startles. “No. Not while I’m working.”

“Warrior, you’re always working.” You deadpan. 

“Am not.”

“Are too!” You snap back. “And well, whatever. Never mind. I was going to see if you wanted to go get a drink or something but if you’re technically still on the clock then it’s fine.”

“You want to get a drink?” Warrior throws him thumb behind him and tilts his head in tandem. “There’s a place that way where you could get one, cheap, mediocre, but it gets the job done.”

“I was curious if you wanted to drink. I’m actually fine.” You shrug and keep walking.

Warrior gets confused and has to step a little faster to keep up with you before you leave him behind. “I appreciate the offer but I’m fine as well.”

“Fair enough.”

Warrior waits for you to continue but when he sees that you aren’t going to, he speaks up again. “Why only me?”

“Legend says that you’re always thirsty around me, so I figured I’d offer-”

Warrior trips over himself and lands on his knees.

It looked rough.

“Hey, are you ok?” You drop next to him and he pulls himself off of the cobble stone road.

There’s a tear by his knee, right where he landed on it, and it you shifted it just a millimeter higher, then you’d see the very thin cut that’s already begun to bleed.

You hiss and try to gently pull the cloth away to get a better look at it but Warrior’s stillness is more unnerving than you want to admit.

“I’m going to kill him.” Warrior growled.

It was so out of left field that you blinked, sat back and began to laugh.

And laugh.

And laugh.

“And here I thought you were actually hurt.” You gasp. “You scared me for a second. Also, don’t kill Legend- he’s just trying to get under your skin, it’s not so bad.”

“Not so-” Warrior furrows his eyebrow and places a hand over his mouth. “Do you not know what that means?”

You raise an eyebrow with a teasing grin on your lips. “If I said no, would you show me?”

Oh you knew what you were doing.

You and him were playing this game for a while now and this is where you wanted to see what he was made of. If all the back and forth actually meant something to him like it did to you or if he was just having fun with it.

You would have been fine with it either way but you didn’t want to put time and effort into someone who didn’t consider you for more than a second glance. Legend’s comment was honest- if an honest jab- but it was the only clue you had to see where you soldier boy stood with you.

You lick your lips subtly but you don’t miss the way his eyes are drawn to the motion like a moth to candle light.

It emboldens you.

Warrior, while still on the ground, straightens up and you can see the movement of his Adam’s apple just beyond his scarf. “Are... Are implying what I think you’re implying?”

“I never implied anything Link.” You go stand and send him a wink. “I only wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help with apparent problem. But if it’s not serious-”

Warrior jumps to his feet and reaches for your elbow before you can turn away from him fully. “Serious? You want me to be serious?” 

“I want you to be honest with me, not some part time lover.” You admit. “Don’t go breaking my heart.”

Warrior has what you can only describe as a face journey.

At first he continues to look confused, before you see the light dawn on his face, before he looks like he could jump over the moon with joy alone and then his face drops again to what you can only describe as mild despair.

Warrior says your name like a prayer and his hands come up to cradle your face.

Your hands find themselves on top of his. 

They’re warm. 

“Is Legend right then?”

Warrior gulps audibly this time as his swipes his thumb across your cheek. “...Yes.”

His voice is breathless and low and it’s a whisper, a confession and a vow all in a single word.

The air is charged with an intensity you weren’t expecting when he speaks and you’re drawn into his gaze. “If you’re thirsty, what does that me?”

“A tall glass-” He leans down and brushes his nose with yours. Your eyes flutter close, letting him do whatever he’d want to do in the moment, you trust being fully placed in the hands of this man who’s completely captivated you, your heart and soul. You feel his breath move marginally down and you like your lips again from the anticipation of what you hope would happen. “-of water.”

Warrior lets his lips rest on yours and you don’t hesitate to kiss back.

Emboldened by the reaction, Warrior lets his hands travel downward and settle on your waist, pulling you closer to him.

You for your part, rest one hand by his collar bone and the other rests on his jaw, gently pushing and caressing where you want him to move to.

He follows without question and trails off of your lip to kiss your cheek, your jaw and he leaves a trail all the way down to your neck.

You gasp at the cold sensation when he leaves the spots behind and grip his tunic with your hand. “Link.”

He stops. A breath leaves him and he gulps right by your ear. “Sorry. Got carried away.”

“It’s ok.” You say in a small voice.

Warrior grins through his subtle panting and he pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around you entirely and resting his head beside yours. “We can be serious.”

“The group would kill us.” You laugh and tilts your head further into the crook of his neck.

“Probably.” Warrior shrugs. “For either taking to long or making one of the lose a bet, but only for that.”

“Not for being intolerable?” You ask and tilt your head ever so slightly to return the kiss Warrior left on your neck.

He stills and hugs you tighter as result. “I’m going to need a drink.”

“And here I thought I could fix that.” You laugh and try to pull away. “You said.”

“Different.” He growls and keeps you from going through your plan of escape. “Something strong.”

“May I join you in your attempt to quench your thirst?” You snort and give up, letting him hold you as he wants.

Warrior pauses and looks down at you from where he holds you, a dumb smile on his face. “I’d love nothing more.”

Twilight

Learning that Twilight was Wolfie was something you thought would be easy to move on from.

Wrong.

You used to shower Woflie with all sorts of pets, kisses and cuddles and part of you yearns to continue doing so.

But you didn’t want to make it awkward with Twilight.

You figured he only put up with it because he was a wolf and didn’t want to break up the illusion of his secret. Not the mention that the thought of kissing Twilight does something funny to you on the inside and the butterflies don’t leave you alone for hours after you’ve thought about it. 

But you missed it. 

You missed Wolfie. 

Your relationship with Twilight had taken on a new strain and you think the others are starting to notice it much to your chagrin.

He corners you one day, while you’re a little ways away from the group. You’re out of the ear shot and you’re frustrated and awkward.

Twilight lets a big breath out and notices how you can’t meet his eyes. “Are you ok? You’ve been weird this whole time since you found out. Did I do something-”

“No, no. You’re fine.” You’re quick to reassure him. “I couldn’t care less if this is a secret you want for yourself-”

“Ok, but with you being weird to both Twilight and Wolfie, the others are going to notice something sooner or later.”

“I won’t tell them anything.” You say.

“I trust you. I’m just saying.” Twilight crosses his arms and looks at you a little painfully. “But why the change? I thought we were fine.”

“We are fine.”

“Clearly not.” Twilight nearly growls. “You won’t even look at me anymore. You refuse to look at me even now.”

You snap your head to face him head on and chew on your lip as you try to think of the words to defend yourself. 

“Why did you let me give you all those kisses?” You say instead. “You knew I wasn’t aware of who you were.”

Twilight stills and his frustration melts from his face. He stares at you with a blank expression only bordering on confusion and realization at the same time.

It’s a weird look.

He doesn’t say anything in response though and the lack of reaction to your very legitimate questions spurs you on.

“What? Are my kisses are special or something? Do you know how weird it is for me to know that you’re Wolfie and still want to kiss the wolf?”

Twilight blushes something fierce, but he nods somewhat. He had a suspicion that was it, but he didn’t think you’d actually say it out loud. “Yes.”

You groan and throw your head back. “Yes to what?”

“Yes to both.” Twilight gulps and shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant. “Of course are kisses are special. And yeah- I get it. It can be weird but I let you... because I like it. It was selfish, I know, but I didn’t care because it was you. Look, if you want to keep kissing Woflie, I’m not going to stop you.”

“But it’s you!” You cry.

Can’t Twilight see what makes this weird? You can’t kiss Wolfie. It’s kissing Twilight! And kissing Twilight is a whole other level of honesty you’re not ready to have with yourself at the moment.

Twilight for his part- looks offended and maybe a little disappointed. “I didn’t think kissing me would be such a terrible idea.”

You panic. “That’s not what I meant. You’re very kissable. It’s just that I-”

“Prove it.”

You look up and Twilight’s in front of you, in your personal space, and he’s leaning down close enough where you can feel his breath fan across your cheeks.

“Uh, um...” You gulp and chance a look at his lips.

Twilight notices.

You don’t see that though. You instead focus on the implication of his words, how he’s placed him in front of you, how he’s not moving any closer to you.

He waiting for you to make the first move.

Do you want to? 

You shift yourself closer. 

Prove it, he said. 

Prove to him that he’s kissable. 

Prove to him that it matters if he’s Wolfie or not.

Prove it.

You take a breath and place your hands on his chest, reaching upwards to press your lips against him.

Your eyes close and you feel the contact as an electrifying spark. Your hesitance is clear. It’s a new and foreign sensation for you but it never had to be more than a peck. 

Your eyes flutter open again as you pull away but Twilight wraps his arm around your waist, trapping you against him as his other hand cradles your cheek, angling your face back to him gently as he chases after your lips.

They’re softer than you would have thought they would be and the way Twilight moves them against you has you struck stupid.

Your hands snake their way up his chest and wrap themselves around his neck. One of your hands tangles itself in his hair and begins to play with the strands you can reach.

Twilight responds with his own hand traveling past your cheek to your neck and eventually behind your head to entangle his fingers there.

You whines and Twilight pulls away, breathless, with half lidded eyes that have a look that makes you feel weak in your knees.

You gulp and attempt once again to pull away from him. “There.”

“What?” Twilight speaks and it does something funny to you. His voice is low, husky, dangerous.

“Very kissable.” You say with a slight nod to your head, unsure of what to do or say next. The phantom touch of his lips on your is still very much there, but you don’t want to place your fingertips there to mimic it while Twilight is still very much in front of you.

A new hunger darkens his gaze and he smirks with a wicked gleam. “I’m not convinced.”

He pulls you completely flush against him body and you squeak from the intensity behind it. You can feel his chuckle across your whole body and the sound encompasses you completely.

You feel a grin begin to bloom and you almost want to laugh. “What do you want me to do about it?”

Twilight leans down again and brushes his nose against yours. “I think you know.”

“Do I?” You challenge and brush him back. “I could be wrong. I’m not a mind reader.”

“I’ve wanted it for so long, how could you not know?” Twilight’s voice dips even lower and you shiver.

Twilight notices.

Your voice however, goes higher.  “Oh.”

Twilight smirks. 

“I suppose I can’t leave you unconvinced then, huh?” You maneuver yourself to get comfortable against him and ever so slightly push his head down to meet yours more fully.

“It would be rather rude of you to do so.” Twilight whispers against your lips.

So, you prove it.

Wild

You and Wild had snuck off from the group and were simply chilling by one the many grassy open spaces his Hyrule has to over.

Wild had taken you to a high point that oversaw the whole village any one who tried to make their way up to you.

So you had privacy for the time being.

Not that you guys were doing much, just laying on your back alternating between watching the clouds and taking quick cats naps in the warmth of the sun.

You take a deep breath and let it go, a wide smile on your face. “We should do this more often.”

You heard Wild shift from your side as he rolled over, his head cradled in his hands, his elbows firmly planted into the dirt beneath you. “You think so?”

“Your home is beautiful.” You say. “I want more time to appreciate it.”

“And yet it’s incomparable to you.” Wild whispers.

You still and roll over yourself to face him.

He ends up being closer to you than you thought he’d be and the close proximity takes you off guard. You feel yourself flush a little and shrink down, unable to meet his gaze but it’s not unwelcomed. 

“You’re making fun of me.” You mutter.

Wild takes his free hand uses it to tilt your head back up to meet his eyes. “Never.”

You gulp a bit as you glance into the windows to his soul. Sometimes when you catch yourself staring, you can see a sadness there with out end. Sometimes you can see his pain and confusion and you know that there’s not enough magic in the world to fix it.

But now?

You think you see hearts and thought of it being because of you does something funny to your own heart and breath.

You feel his gentle touch on your skin, how his thumb caresses ever so slightly against your cheekbone and chin.

The air is delicately charged with an electricity you wouldn’t have been able to place before.

You both lay there, staring into the other and you see his eyes, dip ever so slightly down.

You gulp.

You want him closer.

You need him closer.

You need him to kiss you.

Right now.

Wild shifts closer and brushes his nose with yours, his lips barely brushing over your own. His breath is hot and moist and you almost whine when he doesn’t close the distance between you.

“Is this ok?” He says after his second of hesitation.

“Please.” You whisper and angle yourself up to brush your lips with his again, the temptation to much for you to bare without any results.

He pulls back just before the distance closes again and you feel your heart drop.

“Please what?” He gulps. It’s loud and nervous and if you didn’t know any better you’d think he was being coy, a tease and a nuisance.

But no, he sounds genuinely concerned about your wording.

Just as quickly as your heart drops it soars again and you could cry with the amount of love you feel in your veins.

You reach up and cradle his face in a similar fashion to how he holds you and pull him closer. “Please.”

Wild takes the answer for what it is, pushing himself all the way in your direction and placing his lips on yours.

There’s a restrained hunger there, you can feel it. 

He wastes no time with tangling his hand into your hair, pushing you back so that your back is once again on the ground. Wild traps you beneath you and settles for keeping most of his weight on his opposite hand, leaving just enough room for you to bring your other arm and wrap it around him.

He’s gentle though, like he doesn’t want to frighten you with his desires but you mimic his movements, wanting nothing more than for him to let you love him.

At some point where your lips dance around each others, you move and you place different kisses on his jaw, his cheeks and his scars. You’re pinned underneath him entirely and he holds himself up from crushing you with a single arm on the ground by your head, his hair falling beside your face when he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours.

His breathing comes out in little pants and his eyes close. “I love you.”

You hum and tilts your head up to place a little kiss on his nose. “I love you too.”

Wild let a giddy smile fall across his face before he looks into your eyes and kisses you again.

Part 2

[certified-sloth]

Child MC who was adopted into an emotionally abusing famity? The brothers and possibly dateables?

Oh I got a lot to say about this lol

!!warning! May contain sensitive content, please read at your own risk!!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Lucifer

A child? This wasn't supposed to happ-

Feels a tug on his sleeve and looks down to see you flinch slightly at his stare

It was understandable that you would be scared in this situation

Then he notices a glint in your eyes

He picks you up and examines you

"Is something the matter?" He asked

You shake your head and smiled a little

"My family told me anything I feel don't matter."

He frowns at this and assures you your feelings do matter

He's having a hard time comforting a single child

Please bear with him

Mammon

You know how he complains about having to watch over you?

He doesn't even notice how you're close to tears with him calling you a weak human

And Lucifer has to scold him for it

"That is a child, Mammon. Be careful with your words."

"But they're we-"

"Do not make me repeat myself."

You shake your head and assured that it's ok

You were used to it after all

This caused the 2nd-born to ask you how you were used to it

It was normal since you got adopted?

No, this time he tries his best not to talk you down and spoils you if he can

Leviathan

He's the guy who talks people down to try to make himself feel better

Then he realizes how you look upset whenever he calls you normie

For a kid, he would've expected you to not understand it

"Why do you look like that?"

"Normie is like being boring right? That's what my foster parents always call me..."

"What? No, I didn't mean it like that..."

Tries to comfort you and tell you that your parents are horrible

Levi is so gonna summon Lotan on your 'family'

Would tell you that your family could yeet themselves to the other side of existence

If not, he'll do it himself

Satan

Already noticed the look in your eye the moment you arrived

Observes your behavior quietly

When some of his brothers unintentionally hurt you with their cruel words...

Would go down on one knee and comfort you

"Don't mind them, they don't mean it."

"B-but what if they do..? The looks they give me..."

He frowns and pats your head

He promised you that you it won't happen again

He's not sure why, but he feels heavily attached to you

So he made sure to pay a visit to your 'family' to have a simple 'talk'

Asmodeus

Finds out how you react to harsh words through Satan

Eventually steps up to get angry for you

"Please don't take pity on me."

"How could you say that? They-"

"Big sister said I couldn't do anything right but have others pity me to fix my problems."

Oh this just makes his blood boil

He doesn't care if his complexion is getting damaged from it

You are a literal child! You shouldn't be treated like that

Always tells you that he's not taking pity on you

He just wants what's best for you

He spoils you with both affection and many other things because you deserve it

Beelzebub

He may be slow to notice

But he sees how timid you are

And it reminded him of how Belphie was when younget

Slowly, he realizes your low self-esteem

How you flinch if one of his brothers were about to throw a snappy remark at each other

And when that happens, he would always take you away from there

When you open up to him about your family

He tells you that's not how family are supposed to treat you

Now that he sees it... not only were you treated poorly

But you ended up being burdened to go to literal hell

Everyday, he shares his food with you, reassurance and gives you daily hugs, to boost your self-esteem

Belphegor

He's not fond of children because he thinks they're annoying

But the way you look as if you're waiting for an insult...

It concerns him

When both of you get closer, and you tell him about your foster family

Let's say he holds contempt for that so called family of yours

He can't empathize with you

But this is another reason why he hates humans

They take a child under their care and selfishly harm them when it's not their fault

"Why don't you take a nap? I have a surprise for you when you wake up."

"Is that ok..? They call me useless and lazy for resting."

That didn't sit right with Belphie, so he tries to comfort which come off completely useless

"Its fine, I'm useless too, if they complain about it, go and show them you don't care cause they're useless with their responsibility."

Diavolo

Hm? Barbatos, why does this child look scared?

Gets told of your background, as well as your foster family

...now this simply won't do

How could they treat you like that?

He goes out of his way to neglect his work to check on you

Barbatos would sometimes let him slip too

And when he gives you something, you always ask carefully if you could have it

"Of course you can! You have to enjoy your childhood!"

"But it's going to be useless when I grow up, I wouldn't be able to provide for my future family like this..."

Now what kind of teaching is that?

He tells you that you can enjoy your childhood

And worry about that when you grow a bit more older

Barbatos

Is aware of your background

"My family are probably happy..."

"Why is that?"

"They have one less person to feed in the house now."

...they're horrible

Every now and then, he would bake for you, not even Diavolo would be able to taste

Because it was all for you

Tells you that they shouldn't matter to you

If that's their treatment then show them they mean nothing to you

"But won't that make me look ungrateful? They took me in..."

"To throw their own issues on a child that doesn't know better? No. Don't even thank them for taking you in."

Simeon

When you first visited purgatory hall, he was ready to spoil you

He's been watching over you so he's aware that you aren't treated right

When he places a slice of cake and a glass of milk for you

You consumed it enough for the plate to look clean

Along with chugging the milk carefully to not spill anything

He smiles and pats your head, "you should eat a lot to grow healthy."

Then he notices you fixing your plate and glass, ready to take it to the sink

"Ah, MC, i'll do it. And... why were you careful to not make a mess?"

"...they said I'm good-for-nothing for eating messily."

He tells you it's ok to eat without being careful

As for your family, he's had enough

May father not forgive him...

But he's not going to stand by and watch you carry your family's expectation

Solomon

...he's taking you in

He doesn't care if he's not fond of kids, he's going to treat you with absolute care

Would request Diavolo to allow him to take custody of you

He'll deal with your foster family after everything is finished

When you were passing your grades that was fit for a senior, he was asking you about it

But you hesitantly handed him your papers

"I'm sorry... I tried my best, i'll make up for it the next semeste-"

"MC."

You flinch, causing him to frown.

Were you pressured to do better than this?

He calmly tells you there's nothing wrong

He doesn't have high expectations of you so don't be too on edge

You should enjoy your childhood while you still can

And he will make sure of that

[idy-ll-ique]

All Mine.

Pairing: Andy Barber x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Warnings: age gap, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, squirting (damn)

Requested: nope

Summary: Andy Barber has been through a lot. After getting a divorce from his ex-wife, he moves into the house next to the Y/L/Ns. And he has his eyes on Y/N since day one. Little does he know, Y/N likes him too and things get interesting one night.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Before you ask, no, I haven't watched Defending Jacob yet because I do not have the attention span to watch an entire series. So yeah, this has no spoilers. Also, I'm asexual so don't @ me for the smut please and thank you. Enjoy!

---

"Good morning, Mr Barber!"

He looked up from his phone and saw his neighbor smiling at him. He grinned back at her, his mood immediately lightening. "Hi, Y/N! How many times have I told you, call me Andy," he chided gently, keeping his phone away. "Okay, okay, just feels a little weird, ya know? Anyway, what are you doing here? You almost never take the bus," Y/N chuckled.

He flashed her another grin, his boyish side automatically coming out. It always happened when she was near. Y/N Y/L/N was Andy Barber's cute neighbor, but the only thing is, she was way, way younger than he was, her parents were just a couple of years older than him. Despite the huge age-gap, Y/N had won his heart. And he didn't mind in the slightest.

"My car broke down yesterday, it's at the auto repair shop. I got no other vehicle," he shrugged. Y/N nodded just as she saw her bus approaching. "Are you getting on this one?" she asked him and he squinted. "Nah, not this one. Are you?" She verbally confirmed a yes and turned to look at him fully. "I'll see you later, Mr Barber, bye!" With that, she waved at him and stepped into the bus.

"Andy!" he mouthed when she sat near the window seat, giggling. "Andy," she repeated, winking at him just as the bus turned around the corner. A laugh involuntarily escaped his lips as he ran a hand through his hair. Oh, what am I gonna do with you, angel? Inside the bus, Y/N had to keep herself from fidgeting, too overstimulated after her conversation with the handsome lawyer.

She had had a crush on him ever since he had moved in next-door. Her parents had immediately invited the lone man to dinner and he had, thankfully, accepted. They had a lot of fun; Andy was a proper gentleman, well-spoken, intelligent and extremely handsome. Y/N got a crush on him on the first day itself. She knew about the things his family had been through, and the thought crushed her.

Can't even imagine, your own child, guilty of murder?

Andy and his ex-wife, Laurie had divorced immediately after their son's trial. It was all months ago, though, Andy was doing much better now. He had Y/N, after all. In his thoughts only, but that would suffice. Because he knew, she'd never fall for him. Why would she? He was much older than her, a divorced man, with a son who got convicted for murder.

But Y/N didn't care about any of those things. She liked the Andy who was her awesome, good looking and smart neighbor. That's all that mattered to her. But then came another problem, Y/N's parents. Would they be okay with her going out with him? Of course not! Y/N sighed and leaned her head against the window of the bus; oh God, what ever was she gonna do?

Andy had ruined all men for her.

---

"Come in!"

Looking up, a surprised gasp left the mouths of both; the person inside the office and the person at the door. "Y/N?" Andy blurted out. "Mr Barber?" Y/N blinked as well. "Andy," he corrected incessantly and she waved her arm in dismissal. "Wow, I, uh… I didn't realize— you don't have a name plate outside—" He motioned to the chair in front of him and she sat.

"What happened, darling?"

Y/N unconsciously shivered at the nickname. She loved it when he called her that. "I don't know, my colleague sent me here, she was busy… gave me the address and said there was a file she needed…" Y/N spoke unsurely. Her eyes quickly skimmed over his figure; he had taken off the trenchcoat he was wearing in the morning, leaving him in a tight, white shirt, black trousers and a tie hanging loosely around his neck.

The top three buttons of his shirt were undone, the sleeves rolled to his elbows. Y/N concluded that he looked insanely gorgeous. "Does your colleague happen to be Mrs Renoir? She told me she was coming to get the file." She smiled and nodded at him. "Yes, Mrs Renoir, that's her." Andy smiled back and took out a file from his drawer. "Here you go."

She accepted the file, stowing it away in her bag. "I'll see you!" She moved to get up but Andy tutted, checking his watch. "Why don't you stay, Y/N? It's getting late, we can go home together," he spoke, his eyes soft as he gazed at her. She froze for a moment. "Um, it's fine, I can—" He was shaking his head. "Y/N, if something happens to you, I'll not be able to forgive myself."

What's going on? "Mr Barber—" "Andy." "What do you mean?" He got up from his chair and moved to the couch that was in the room. She sat next to him. "You never stay out this late, Y/N, your parents told me you're usually at home by 8:30. It's almost midnight, and I can't let you venture into the city all alone at this hour. Do you know the dangers that lurk at night?"

Y/N's heart started thudding in her chest. Indeed, this was new to her; and before even meeting with him, she had been scared of roaming the city alone at night. "I don't," she muttered truthfully, looking up when Andy placed his hand on her thigh. "It's okay. You can stay, I just need to go over a few more things and then we can go home, hm?" Y/N grinned and nodded.

Andy lifted his hand off her thigh and went back to his desk. He began scribbling something on a paper, which Y/N realized was a form. After admiring him for a few minutes, she took out her phone and scrolled through her messages. She had already texted her mom about staying out late, and her mother had complained until Y/N told her she was out for business, not fun.

As time passed, Y/N's shoulders sagged. Her eyes drooped, heavy with sleep. "Andy," she whined in a sleepy stupor and his head shot up, "Are you done? I wanna go home!" His dark eyes softened instantly and he chuckled. She looked cute when she was sleepy. "Just a moment, darling, I'm almost finished." Y/N simply groaned and threw her head back against the couch.

"All done."

Y/N opened her eyes and saw Andy fixing his appearance, before shrugging on the coat. Then he turned to her, offering her his hand with a smile. She took it and heaved herself up, stumbling a little but Andy was there to hold her up. Effortlessly wrapping an arm around her waist, he guided her out of his office, switching off the lights and locking the door.

Both of them walked out of the building and Andy got Y/N seated in the passenger seat of his car. "I thought your car was at the auto repair shop?" Y/N remembered. She felt his chuckle next to her ear as he reached over and fastened her seatbelt and then his own. "Went to get it in the afternoon because I realized buses aren't for me." She giggled and leaned back against the seat.

"Why don't you try and fall asleep? I'll wake you up," he whispered, his heart swelling in his chest when she nodded meekly. "Goodnight, Mr Barber." He still corrected her, "Andy." Truth be told, Y/N didn't want to call him Andy because that would only make her feelings worse. If she called him Mr Barber… that was a constant reminder that he was a man much older, a successful lawyer, and just her neighbor.

Nothing else.

"Such a sweet doll." Ever since he heard her whining his name in his office, his mind had clouded over with lust. She sounded so fucking beautiful when she said his name. And suddenly, all he wanted to do was to claim her on his couch. He had controlled himself easily, he knew he had to wait till he had her consent. Which he thought he'd probably never get.

---

"Thank you so much, Andy!"

"Oh, it's not a problem at all, Mrs Y/L/N. Y/N is great company and I admit, the house does get a little lonely at times," Andy chuckled as Y/N's mother beamed at him. Y/N was looking down at her feet, clutching the handles of her travel bags. She was going to move in with Andy for a few weeks, since her room was getting renovated. There was no other place in the house.

When Andy heard that, he had instantly offered that she move in with him for the time-being. And Y/N's parents were, surprisingly, ecstatic at the idea. "She can move into the guest bedroom," he had spoken at the time. That's how she ended up here; now following Andy into his house as she yelled her goodbyes to her parents. "Welcome! It isn't much, I hope you like it still."

Y/N looked around in awe. The place was well-kept, the colour theme for almost everything was either beige or brown. It all looked very modern and cool. "Are you kidding? This is awesome!" He chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Let me show you to your room." Both of them walked up the stairs and stopped at the first door. Andy opened the door and another gasp left her lips.

"Wow," she whispered automatically and Andy smiled to himself. "I take it that you like it," he drawled, closing the door behind them as they walked into the room. Y/N kept her luggage on the bed and sat down, swinging her legs. "Thanks for all this, Mr Barber, it's appreciated." He scoffed. "Andy," he rectified, "And it was not a problem at all, Y/N, you're my friend."

A chill ran down her spine. His friend? He considered her to be a friend? "A friend, huh, I'm… I'm honored," she chuckled and he grinned. "I'll leave you be now, get comfortable." He waved at her and left the room, going downstairs to get a glass of water for himself. Y/N spent the rest of the day at her place, only returning at nighttime after dinner.

That's how it went for a week. She'd be at her job most days, would have dinner with her parents at night and then would finally walk into Andy's house to get some sleep. She liked the routine, and so did he. When she wasn't at her job, she'd spend the day in the living room of her own, or rather, her parents' house. Only, something changed a week later.

Andy was running late that day. As he drove home, at nearly 1:30 am, he was sure that he was going to be greeted by a quiet and empty house, Y/N already asleep in her room. She always fell asleep before 11:30, he didn't know how she did it. After parking his car in his garage, he walked into the sitting room only to see Y/N sitting in front of the television. She looked up and swtiched it off when he walked in.

"Mr Barber, hi." Her voice was hoarse. "Y/N? Darling, is everything okay?" he asked worriedly, sitting next to her. The dried tear stains on her cheeks made it clear that she had been crying. "I'm fine," she insisted, in vain. Andy gently cupped her cheeks, running his fingers over the stains. "You've been crying, honey, tell me what happened. I'll make it better," he whispered and Y/N melted against him.

"Um, can I… can I please… can I hug you?"

Without another word, Andy pulled her to him, her head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around her middle. She snuggled into his side. "I just had a bad dream," she mumbled, burying her face in his chest. His arm rose and he delicately cradled her head, massaging her hair with his fingers. Y/N whimpered at the soothing sensation and Andy's heart raced.

"I'm here now, sweetheart, you have nothing to be worried about. I'll protect you, come what may," he uttered softly, almost in a daze. Something inside Y/N stirred deeply when he said those words. She pulled away slightly and he looked down at her, a questioning look on his face. Y/N blushed under his intense stare. "I, um… can I… kiss you?" Her question made Andy's heart beat faster.

Consent? Check.

Gently grabbing her jaw, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, pulling her into his lap. Y/N kissed back just as fervently, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Do you know how long I've wanted to do that?" Andy asked huskily upon pulling away. "How long?" Y/N squeaked. "Ever since I first saw you. You won my heart right there, Y/N, right at that dinner. The moment I saw you, I knew that you had ruined all women for me."

"Same. I mean, I— not women, obviously, I'm not attracted to other women— men, but—" Andy chuckled and kissed her again, cutting off her rambling. "God, I need to feel you, love, why don't we go upstairs?" It turned out to be a rhetorical question as he immediately stood up, easily carrying Y/N up the stairs. Y/N wrapped her legs around his torso.

He placed her down on his bed, in his bedroom and settled between her legs, hungrily kissing down her body. He used his tongue to stimulate her first, pulling orgasm after orgasm after her. She had never had these many orgasms in one night and that wasn't lost on Andy. "No one has ever made you feel this good, right, darling? Only I can do it this good." Y/N whined loudly when his tongue circled her bud.

"Bet those nasty boys your age have never made you feel this way. Worshipped. You're mine, Y/N, only mine. Say it." Y/N was too overwhelmed to respond, only a pathetic "yours" leaving her lips as she came again. For the… third? No, fourth time? She definitely lost count. "You're so fucking gorgeous," Andy moaned as he emerged from between her thighs, his jaw and chin covered in her juices.

He had eaten her out so well, like her a hungry man offered a meal after a long starvation. Like she was his last meal. Y/N blushed at the sight of him, covering her face with her hands. Andy easily shoved the hands aside, leaning in to kiss her. "All mine. Beautiful. Mine, only mine," he grunted possessively and Y/N gasped when she felt something poking her thigh. She looked down and saw him. He was giant.

"It's too big," she blurted out and Andy chuckled, giving her a soft kiss on the forehead. "You'll be okay." Grabbing the base of his shaft, he slowly pushed inside of her, giving her time to adjust to his size. Y/N winced at the burn on her hips but when he bottomed out inside her, all the pain was replaced by pleasure. "Fuck, so fucking tight," Andy helplessly groaned, leaning forward and resting his forehead against her shoulder.

"Please, please move." Andy complied, thrusting into her at a slow pace at first but when he was certain she was able to handle it, he sped up. Y/N moaned right into his ear as he nibbled on her neck, leaving behind dark, red marks. Now everyone will know she's taken. The moan fueled his libido and he sped up more, growling deep in his chest.

Y/N's eyes flew open at the animalistic sound and she gripped his shoulders, trying to steady herself as she moved like a rag doll against him and his powerful thrusts. "Scream my name, darling, tell everyone who's making you feel so good. Tell everyone you belong to me and me only. You're mine, all mine. I'm never letting you go," he snarled as he neared his release. "Andy," Y/N screamed shamelessly.

"That's it, doll. Months, for months I've tried to get you to say my name. Is that why you've been avoiding it? Can't help but imagine being under me and moaning my name every time you heard it?" he groaned brusquely and Y/N jerked, her orgasm hitting her unexpectedly. "Yes," she whimpered at his previous comment but Andy couldn't speak. Holy shit, she just squirted all over my bed.

His taut abdomen, his shaft, his thighs and his bed were all drenched. Y/N was lying on the bed, her eyes closed, convulsing as she reeled in from the first-time experience. "Shit, baby, do you see this? You just squirted all over me," Andy laughed breathlessly, leaning over to press his lips to hers. Y/N cocked an eye open as a blush spread across her cheeks.

"I what?! Oh my God, I'm so sorry—"

Andy entered her core with one swift motion, shutting her up. "That was fucking hot, doll, do it again," he urged and resumed his fast pace. Y/N cried out tiredly, her eyes landing on the clock in the corner of the room. It's been an hour?! How much energy does this man have? "Andy, I'm—" He was already close to his release and when she took his name, he was done. He pulled out of her and spilled his seed all over her chest and face, groaning loudly.

Then he spit on his fingers and brought them to her bud, furiously rubbing until she squirted again, right on his face. "Oh my God," Andy groaned, licking up and swallowing all her juices. "Andy, I'm tired…" She couldn't even lift a finger, that's how spent she was.

Andy was a sight. All wet, from top to bottom, covered in her juices, he looked like he had just stepped out of a swimming pool. "Okay, baby girl, get some sleep. I'll take care of you." And he did, he gently cleaned her up as she dozed off, and carried her to her room. He then hopped into the shower for a quick wash, dried himself up, put on some boxers and went to Y/N's room as well.

The bed in his room was… well, let's just say it was done for. He was going to be throwing the mattress out the next day, he knew that. When he walked into her room, his heart melted at the sight of her deep asleep, still naked, curled up on her side. He shut the door behind him and walked towards the bed, easily sliding in next to her. He pulled the covers on top of them and pulled Y/N into his arms, dropping a kiss to her shoulder.

"I love you, angel. So sweet, only mine."

---

A/N: This is the first time I've posted smut and a non-marvel fic 😳 I know it's probably not that good but thanks for reading anyway! Leave a like if you enjoyed!

[nightfall-kachiniko]

I never thought I would make it.

“Congratulations cadets, you are officially deemed a soldier, welcome to the scouting regiment,”

It’s hard to believe im even still alive.

You stood in the crowd of your now newly named comrades, your fist over your heart as it pounded in and out of your chest. Realization overcoming you as you looked around the crowd. “Seven..no eight..” You mumbled, counting the peoples heads. One in particular stuck out to you. “Oh, the quiet girl who’s always with Eren?” You questioned yourself, as an answer popped into your head about her cause of joining, “Probably for him..”

It had been days since your promotion from cadet to soldier.

The people all around the lunch room talking and chatted as you sat at the table with Eren, Armin and Mikasa. Jean sat next to you with Sasha and Connie across the table, right beside Mikasa. “That wasn’t fair! The captain doesn’t understand how hard i’m trying to master my titan ability!” The emerald eyed teen whined, hiding his face in her elbow in stress. “I’d say not to worry about it Eren,” Mikasa suggested in response as she sipped her soup.

“Yeah, Mikasa’s right!” Artlert exclaimed, “There's no way he’ll punish you for that incident earlier, it was after all an accident!” He shrugged, reassuring Eren.

“I just hope he doesn’t tell section commander Hange to help me with it.. They’re nuts,”

“Keep in mind you don’t need to master it, just gain control,” You blattered out, overhearing their conversation. The black haired girl with the red scarf looked towards you, her eyes narrowed in a stren confusion. “A-ah..er.. Sorry I didn’t mean to intrude in your conversation..” You blushed as she looked at you, your eyes quickly moving away, hiding the rose that came upon your face. “Your fine,” She said, looking away from you. “That’s okay y/n! Thanks for the advi-”

“THATS IT!” Eren suddenly yelled, pounding the table with his fist. “You’re right y/n! I just need to have control!” The brown haired boy realized with a smile on his face. “Thanks!”

“O-oh uhm no problem!” You said in his response.

The girl still had her eyes on you, almost as if she was watching you closely, observing you. Even during training, Mikasa’s eyes always fell right onto you. It was as if she was watching a child.

“AGH! ANNIE OKAY!” You yelled in hailt for your fighting trainer to stop. The dirt flew in your eyes as you crashed to the ground, your body in a sharp pain. You tried clearing the dirt in your eyes as you were kicked in the side. “AH! I SAID STOP GODDAMNIT!” You backed up, wiping your eyes. “That hurt like a bitch..” You grumbed, the side of your stomach in pain. “Its not my fault your skills in hand-to-hand combat are awful,” The blonde said, staring at you below her. “You think you could go a bit slower next time?! This is training where we help each other improve, not kick each other's asses!”

“Hey,” A familiar voice called out, steps getting closer. “That was uncalled for, Leonhart,”

“Hm?” The blonde looked behind you, The voice coming closer, “And so what if it wasn’t?” Annie said, her arms crossed at her chest. You felt an intensity gain in the atmosphere. The air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Mikasa, still glaring Annie down, crouched at you side, “Are you alright Y/n?” The females voice questioned. You wiped your eyes with your shirt, water coming out as well as the sand that had been in your eyes. “Here,” Mikasa handed a tissue to you as you wiped with that instead. She stood up, glaring the blonde down, predator on pray. “You need to be more gente, keep in mind what would happen if you got caught by Captian hurting someone,”

Annie scoffed and brushed the hair out of her face, “Yeah, you’re right, but this is training, I can be as hard as I want on Y/n, after all, we’re soldiers remember?”

“Yeah, I remember, and you sure as hell don’t look like one,” Mikasa replied, leaving the blonde’s face more aggravated. A crowd suddenly formed behind them, “Oh shit are they about to fight?” Connie said, looking at the both of them and how their eyes locked sternly onto each other “No way! I’ve gotta see!” Sasha looked up from her plastic knife. Woah..wait.. Your mind wondered, are they seriously about to do this? Right now? Here? Mikasa’s the most calm and collected person I know.. And here she is, about to fight Annie.

“If you’re looking for a fight all because Y/n here is too weak, then bring it,” Leonhart smirked, holding out her hands in a steady punching position. “I’m always ready for anything,”

And with that Mikasa walked over to Annie, looking down at the girl. “Go ahead, hit me and see what happens,”

“Oh god…” Eren mumbled to himself, “why right now..”

“Mikasa! I don’t think this is a good idea!” Armin shouted at her.

“No, it’s a great one,” Mikasa looked over her shoulder at him, his face cautious, “Let’s see what you’ve got, Annie,”

You were frozen in position, too much in shock to get up. Why is she fighting over me? I mean nothing to her? Don’t I..?

“Try me, you bitch,”

“Brats break it up!” The captain yelled from across the yard, heading over to Mikasa and Annie. Levi pushed them apart from each other, scolding them, “Your lucky I don’t have much trouble with the both of you then I have with Kirsten and Jaeger,” His face in annoyance as he spoke. “Back to training you idiots, and I better not see it again,”

It seemed as though the days of being a newly graduated soldier were over as you soared through the sky. Enemies surrounded all around you as you drew your blade slicing the Jaw titan. Mikasa at your side as she helped take him down. Eren had became a monster, sneaking off to a forgien country and killing thousands of innocent civilians. It was all so new to the survey corps, and taking lives was something you didn't necessarily have a liking for.

All the screaming and yelling as the battle continued. You sprung your ODM gear onto the top of a building with terrified residents inside, their screams coming from the open window. You looked down as ash filled the air along with smoke. All around you laid bodies of people who no longer existed, their deceased corpses laid under rubble, some torn in half, some crushed. Wetness fell down your face like rain as you realized the situation before you.

“Y/N! KEEP MOVING!” Your girlfriend said as her black hair moved in the wind, her hand slightly touching your shoulder as she moved swiftly past you, her blades drawn and swinging at the Warhammer titan. Wiping your tears as you got a move on, avoiding the chaos to get a better look.

“But,” You studdered out, “what about the childre-”

A corpse of a little boy, no older than 8 laid beneath you, his head crushed open, a arm band on his shoul. “Why…”

“TONIGHT WE HONOR OUR SEVEN FALLEN COMRADES BY CELEBRATING ANOTHER STEP CLOSER TO ELDIAS VICTORY!” The soldiers all roared as Foster cheered them on.

“Is that everyone?” Jean called out after helping you on the aircraft, his hand in your pulling you up. “I think so!” You called back to him from above. Connie yanked you in the airship, fully getting inside as you rolled on the floor. “Geez con, mind being a bit more careful? Since where’d you get all that strength from?” Groaning out, you complained.

“Too much strength for a bald man anyways,” Sasha Joked around as Connie punched her in the arm, letting out a laugh. “Thanks you guys,” You softly smiled, “I really needed that,”

“Mission been hard for ya?” The bearded man questioned. “Yeah, really hard,”

“We wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for that bozo looking guy in the back with Captain, Armin and Mikasa,” The brunette female said in annoyance, rolling her eyes as she fixed her gear, adjusting it. “I know right,” Jean commented, “We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him,”

“I’m just glad I still have you two,” The guy with barely any hair said, hugging Jean and Sasha. “You guys are important to me,”

He glanced up at you who was removing your heavy gear from your side, “And you too y/n,”

“Well thank you for making me feel included,” You joked around. Standing up as you lower the bottom of your shirt, “Welp, Imma go see where Eren is and try and get some sympathy for the innocent lives he killed out of him,”

“I doubt the suicidal maniac will have any to spare,” Jean rolled his eyes as a you smiled at his stupid remark. “Hopefully over dinner we can all talk and catch up while they're interrogating Eren ,”

“I Hope we’re having meat tonight!” The snack loving girl exclaimed, a glare of joy and hope in her eyes. “Me too we haven't had any in ages,” You crossed your arms. Jean gave you a soft smile before saying, “Later Y/n,”

“Alrighty,” You said, closing the door behind you as you stepped into the room where he was being held. Your girlfriend, Mikasa gave you a glance and a smile, love in her eyes as you responded by doing the same. Clearing your throat before looking away as the blush rose upon your faec you placed your eyes on Eren.

You stood next to Mikasa and Armin looking at the boy who you knew, but it was apparent to all of you that you no longer did. “I see the whole gang is here,” Zeke said, trying to kid around with his brother. “Shut up,” Captain spoke at the blonde with glasses, his legs steaming as well as Eren’s. Both of their hands were tied behind their back, Eren looked numbly to the floor, no expression to appear besides coldness. “You did put on a show Levi cutting off my limbs like that,”

“I’m glad I still, a shitbag like you doesn't deserve them,”

Levi glared down at the man, anger in his tone as he harshly spoke to him. “Eren,” You stated his name as Jaeger looked up at you, “Why did you decide to do this?” The brunette looked to the side, his once glowing emerald eyes now stone cold. “...” No words came out of his mouth, his expression not changing either. “Did you do this in a rage like you always do?”

So many unanswered questions roamed your head, dying for an answer. “We haven't seen you in months!” You shouted, getting angry with him. “And then you send us letters, demanding us to help you with this-!”

“I never begged you to do this y/n,” Eren finally spoke, his head still hanging low. “You basically did! You knew we would come, and you knew Mikasa would as well, and the rest of us!” Your lips spat at him in ignorance and frustration.

“You did all this for what use? What was the outcome of this besides getting Zeke!?”

Yet again no words. You sighed as you mumbled an “by the walls,” In frustration. “God this is no use is it?” your fingers pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Is this all a part of your revenge on the Marleyans?! On Annie Bertoldt and Reiner?!”

“Yes it is,” His hair hung in his face, messy and greasy locks tangled together. He looked like he was in terrible condition, malnourished and unhygienic.

“...wow, I can’t believe you.. Innocent kids over people who wronged you, Is death all you talk about?”

He nodded his head, glaring into your eyes as you paused, then looked at your feet. Mikasa grabbed your hand, holding it. “Thats enough y/n, he isn’t going to cooperate anyways,” She said in a calm manner, trying to avoid any argumenments.

“I doubt any-”

The sound of the heavy metal door coming open stopped you dead in your sentence, Jean came into the room along with 2 kids you had never seen before. His hand on their shoulders as the kids arms were tied together with rope.

“Jean?” Mikasa said, looking at him with a confused expression on her face. “Who are these brats?” The captain asked, annoyance in his voice.

“These kid’s snuck on board using Lobvo’s gear,” He explained.

“And this one,” Jean pointed to the brown haired girl, “Shot Sasha,”

A flame of shock came over you all as you looked at each other, Armin and Mikasa rushed out the room, tears building up in their eyes. You followed along with them as you whipped open the door.

“SASHA!” Mikasa said, running over to the injured woman and crouching to the ground. Armin went next to her side, Shaking her barely conscious body. “Are we...eating yet…..?” She whispered, a croak in her voice.

“SASHA PLEASE STAY WITH US!” Armin yelled, cupping her cheek and sobbing. All you could do was stand there, shock upon your face and your mouth agape.

“Why are you guys…..being...so...loud..”

Tears and sniffles along with screams of plea flooded the room, just as how it was outside. You put your hand over your mouth, slowly backing away as you cried to yourself. Backing against the wall and tears streaming down your face as you curled yourself into a ball.

“When will this ever end?”

[absolutepokemontrash]

The undatables as uncles need more love, so... What if L!MC and the rest of the children just go to the castle or purgatory Hall for a few days because the Bros got tired or just need a day of rest. Idk this makes no sense

Yes, more uncle shennaniganery!

A Day at the Demon Lord’s Castle

Masterlist

It was Demon-Flu season, and no demon in the House of Lamentation was spared from its sniffly wrath. It started with Belphegor waking up and sneezing right next to Beel, and it was all downhill from there.

Notice how I said “demon”, the dear little Half-Demons were all fine thanks to the efforts of M!MC who for some reason had bought a bunch of plague doctor masks the week prior.

“Why... why did you buy these?” L!MC asked, their voice muffled by the badly fitting mask.

“I saw em’ in a store window and I decided I wanted them.”

Three out of four of the Brat Brigade (plus the cat) were on their way to the Demon Lord’s castle to stay until the house’s little epidemic passed. Lord Diavolo had oh so graciously asked (begged) to be allowed to host the kids for a while.

What could go wrong?

Many things could go wrong.

For one, the first thing A!MC saw when they first arrived, was a rat. Not one of the gross scary ones, but one of the absolutely adorable ones that turns you into the ‘gently holds’ meme.

“I’m going to call you Templeton!” “*squeak*” “Yay!”

Barbatos of course came to greet the guests, and explained that they have a little... issue with rats at that moment. Butler-dad assured them it wouldn’t be a problem, just if the children saw any of the vermin running around to tell him and he’d dispose of them.

Templeton the rat was promptly hidden in one of A!MC’s pockets.

The Purgatory Hall crew was there as well, apparently Solomon decided to make brunch and Purgatory Hall’s kitchen exploded.

Lord Diavolo finally makes his entrance and declares that everyone should unpack and relax, his gorgeous/terrifying castle was their gorgeous/terrifying castle.

“So,” L!MC rested their head on their hand and rotated the knight in their free hand as they stared half vacantly at the chess board. “Did you take care of the snake in the labyrinth, Dia?”

Diavolo lit up when he heard his seldom used nickname. “Well, Henry 1.0 isn’t exactly bothering anyone down there at the moment, and I don’t think Levi is equipped to deal with a fifty foot long untamed snake.”

L!MC smirked and placed their knight down. “Yeah, at least not right now.”

The moment L!MC removed their hand from the knight, Diavolo moved his bishop and took their queen. Shit.

“Aw man...” L!MC mumbled, after a cursory look at the board, the poor thing realized that they had been screwed for the last five turns and Diavolo was just prolonging the match.

“Don’t feel too bad, L!MC.” Diavolo gave them a pat on the head. “Lucifer can’t beat me in chess either.”

“Hmph.” They wouldn’t admit it but... that did make them feel a little better.

“That reminds me, I have a favour to ask of you.” L!MC almost outwardly drooped at the mention of... ugh... a task. “Do you mind reviewing some dad-jokes with me to make sure they are suitably dad-like?”

“...what?” Quickly remembering they were in the presence of honest to God (poor choice of words... uh... Grandfather?) royalty, L!MC straightened their posture and tried their best to look respectfully curious instead of completely and utterly confused. “Pardon?”

“M!MC and several others have said I have ‘dad vibes’, so I’m leaning into it!” Diavolo smiled so brightly if L!MC hadn’t been the child of the Morning Star they may have been blinded. “My father wasn’t one for jokes, so I’d like to run these by you before I say them to others.”

Suppressing a snort of laughter, L!MC nodded. “Go for it, I’m all ears.”

Diavolo pulled out quite the long list and began to read out loud... L!MC quickly realized that this may take longer than expected. “Okay, to begin: I’m afraid for the calendar, it’s days are numbered.”

“Oh not-that-good-Lord...” L!MC muttered under their breath.

The dad jokes continued, some were funny, some were absolutely awful, some sounded like they were made for children in the Victorian era... overall, it was a good- holy shit that took over two hours...

“Finally,” Diavolo squinted at the last joke. “I went to the liquor store and they asked for my ID, while I fumbled for my wallet, my Blockbuster card fell out, the cashier said ‘nevermind’.”

L!MC furrowed their brows. “What’s a Blockbuster?”

“That was what I was hoping you’d explain to me... is it a dad requirement to get a card for that establishment..?”

“Mmmm...” L!MC pursed their lips. “Probably not. I mean, Lucifer doesn’t have one.”

“That’s true...” Diavolo looked at the clock, then stood up and began to shoo L!MC out the door. “Look at me, taking up all your time that you should be spending with your friends. Thank you for your help, L!MC, now don’t let me keep you any longer!”

Giggling slightly, L!MC shot a wave over their shoulder as they left the room. “Bye dad! See you later!”

They were half way down the hallway when they realized their verbal slip-up.

“Oh.” L!MC’s face burned with embarrassment. “Shit.”

Dad-volo was totally delighted and very cool about it, don’t worry.

M!MC and Bean the cat were hanging out with the angels in the very pretty royal gardens when that mess was going down.

Luke was being absolutely adorable and was snuggling Bean while he and Simeon looked at the pretty plants.

In traditional M!MC fashion, they were engaging in an average game of ‘lightly tease the chihuahua’.

“It’s just... you’re so small.” M!MC took the opportunity to rest their arm on Luke’s head as he stopped to observe a colour changing flower bush. “How many years have you been this height? 100? 200?”

M!MC had taken the news that Luke was older than them in stride, finding new opportunities to make the little angel do his adorable angy face. They were obviously succeeding in their jerkwad-endeavours as Luke pushed their arm off and fixed his now smushed hat.

“You be quiet! I’m perfectly average height for an angel my age.” Luke huffed, petting the cat, who hissed at M!MC. The stupid cat absolutely hated them for some reason, it brought L!MC never ending joy to bring the cat into their shared room and watch it hiss and swipe at them. L!MC should really show some more respect for their older cousin!

“Are angels normally the size of a fifth grader?” M!MC snickered. “Is Simeon considered a freak for his height?”

“No, M!MC, I am not.” Simeon chuckled. “Rest assured, Luke will grow.”

“Yeah! And I’m sure I’ll be taller than you!” Luke added.

M!MC smirked deviously and pinched Luke’s cheek. “Well, I’ll have to take advantage of your smallness and baby face while I still can!”

“Hey! Stop that!” Luke tried to swat their hands away, but M!MC had inherited their father’s reflexes and his penchant for being a little shit every once and a while, so Luke’s swatting only resulted in more pinches.

“Never!” M!MC teased. “Surrender to your smallness!”

“No!”

Luke took off deeper into the garden, surprisingly quickly considering he was holding a cat that was hellbent on clawing M!MC’s eyes out. M!MC laughed and gave chase.

“Luuuuuuuke! Come back! I promise I’ll be nice!” M!MC lied right through their teeth like the little heathen they were, as they ran down the path they noticed that they couldn’t see Luke up ahead anymore, nor could they hear him yelling for Simeon to make them quit their teasing.

“Heheh...” M!MC wheezed as they stopped to catch their breath. “Luke c’mon, don’t be a baby. It’s real immature to hide like that!”

There was no response, which made M!MC just a little nervous, just a smidge. The plants had changed from pretty flowers and gorgeous trees to a much darker clump of vines and twisting branches. It all seemed to be the same plant, M!MC noted as they scanned the area for any sign of Luke and the cat, or Simeon for that matter.

“Luke? Bean? Come on! Haul your asses over here, this isn’t funny any-” M!MC paused and looked down as something coiled around their left leg. “-more?”

The vine tightened and yanked them backwards, M!MC fell right to the ground and clawed at the path to stop them getting pulled into the brush. Another vine wrapped around their right leg, any resistance that digging their nails into the ground was nullified as both vines yanked M!MC into the bushes.

Well, this was a nightmare of epic proportions. The vines continued to wrap around the helpless half demon until they were completely unable to move. As M!MC looked around frantically, they made eye contact with an all too familiar pair of blue eyes. Ah! There was Luke!

“Mmmph!” Only Luke’s eyes were visible, but the eyes are the gateway to the soul or whatever, and M!MC took an educated guess and decided that Luke’s soul wasn’t too happy with them.

“Mmth! Mmth!” M!MC tried to speak, but their mouth was covered by the vines. The two would have to communicate with their eyes only.

‘This is your fault!’

‘How the fuck is this MY fault?’

‘If you hadn’t teased me this never would have happened!’

‘Grow thicker skin, you chihuahua!’

‘Fuck you!’

Listen, Luke probably wasn’t capable of trying to communicate a swear word, but it was incredibly funny for M!MC to think about.

“M!MC? Luke?” Simeon stepped into their limited field of vision. “Where are you two? This plant is carnivorous.”

Oh... lovely. That was good to know.

“Mmemph!”

“MFTH!” Luke and M!MC tried to call out to Simeon, only for the vines to wrap around them even tighter. Wow, what a way to go... strangled by a plant... ugh. L!MC would never let them live that down...

“Hm,” Simeon looked down at the vine that was coiling around his leg. “What a bother.”

Quick as lightning, Simeon grabbed the vine and sent a burst of shining gold magic shooting through it. The magic quickly spread to the rest of the plant and the moment the magic slammed into M!MC they nearly passed out from the searing pain that shot through their entire body.

They clamped their eyes shut and clenched their teeth to stop them from rattling as they felt the massive wave of Celestial magic wash over them. It was weirdly warm, like a hug from a friend, but it wasn’t a pleasant sensation, at least not to M!MC.

The plant let out an otherworldly scream as it threw Luke, Bean, and M!MC back onto the path at Simeon’s feet.

Luke picked Bean back up and dusted off his clothes like he didn’t have a care in the world. M!MC lay on the ground, if you listened closely you could hear them sizzle a bit. Nothing like being nearly strangled by a plant and then roasted by holy ‘fuck you’ magic.

“I’m glad you’re both okay,” Simeon pulled Luke into a hug and helped M!MC off the ground. “Did I ah... use to much magic?”

M!MC half-scowled at their saviour and wiped down their outfit. “Yeah. A little too much.”

“My bad,” Simeon ruffled M!MC’s hair. “I hope this serves as a learning experience for you two, Luke, don’t run off like that, and M!MC,”

The half demon nearly jumped in fear and surprise as Simeon swivelled to look at them. The smile on his face was far from comforting. “Don’t tease poor Luke too much, okay?”

“Uh... uh huh.” M!MC quickly nodded.

“Good! Now let’s head back, I think we’ve all had enough of the Royal Gardens.”

As the group returned, they passed a very red in the face L!MC and wondered what exactly went down in the time they were gone.

It’s common knowledge that Barbatos hates rats, it’s also common knowledge that A!MC is the embodiment of a ray of sunshine.

What does this lead to, you may be asking, well...

A!MC and their dear rat Templeton needed to hide from the politely homicidal Barbatos.

“Sh!” A!MC whispered into their pocket, the rat responded with an indignant squeak.

The Demon Lord’s Castle was absolutely massive, and trying to navigate it without a map was akin to wandering around an ancient pyramid filled with death traps. A!MC and their dear companion were wandering the place without a map and trying to hide from a butler that had the power to see into the future. The two fugitives were at a clear disadvantage.

A!MC had managed to stumble into an area that had paintings and statues completely everywhere, it was then they realized they were completely lost.

While quietly perusing the room, A!MC took notice of quite the lovely portrait of a woman. She had long flowing locks of golden hair and the most gorgeous captivating eyes... A!MC nearly shrieked when the woman’s eyes snapped to their’s and her face contorted into a scowl.

“Do I know you?” The woman asked, A!MC gulped and shook their head.

“N-no ma’am, I don’t think we’ve met...” A!MC mumbled before sticking out their hand for a handshake. The painting woman stared down at their outstretched hand, very unimpressed. “I’m A!MC, it’s nice to meet you.”

The half demon offered their cutest smile, their dad had lovingly taken the time to coach them in the art of being so darn tootin’ adorable that everyone would fall over themselves to get A!MC to like them. The moment the woman registered the smile, her scowl returned for a brief moment, then vanished entirely.

“Oh,” The woman smiled sweetly. “I do think I know you, do you mind coming a bit closer so I can see you better?”

Suffering from a complete inability to detect red flags, A!MC happily moved closer.

“Ah, just as I suspected. You look like Asmodeus.”

“You know my dad?” A!MC asked.

“Yes,” The woman’s eyes narrowed. “I know him quite well.”

A!MC was suddenly knocked off balance as a massive gust of wind shoved them closer to the painting. They frantically clawed at the stone ground as Templeton squeaked and squirmed in their pocket.

“Your father is the reason I’m stuck in this painting,” The woman explained coldly as A!MC tried to scramble away. “He escaped the labyrinth twice, but I don’t plan on letting you escape.”

“I-uh- m-muh-my dad’s probably really sorry about whatever he did! There’s no need to be rash!” A!MC stuttered.

“Yeah, no.” The woman huffed. “He had his chance to fix things. I’m getting even.”

“Not right now you’re not.”

A!MC swivelled their head around to see Barbatos calmly holding out a pair of scissors.

“Now Helene, I’d recommend releasing the child before I’m forced to take drastic measures.” Barbatos clicked the scissors together twice, and Helene paled. The wind pushing A!MC towards the painting dissipated and the half demon ran and hid behind the butler.

“Th-thank you...” A!MC mumbled.

“It’s not a problem, A!MC. Now I believe it would be a wise choice to move to another room.”

The two, (plus the hidden rat) ended up in the kitchen. A!MC shifted nervously as Barbatos began prepping lunch.

“Is there something you need to tell me?” Barbatos asked suddenly, A!MC straightened their posture and nodded.

“I um... promise you won’t be mad...” A!MC mumbled.

“I can assure you, I won’t be too upset.”

“I made a friend.” A!MC took Templeton out of their pocket and held him closely to their chest, Barbatos’s calm smile froze on his face. “He’s really sweet, please don’t kill him!”

“...A!MC.” Barbatos began slowly. “I’m not mad... just make sure it doesn’t escape and run rampant... now... please get it out of my kitchen.”

“Yes sir! Thank you sir!” A!MC turned and sprinted to their room.

Ugh... Barbatos, haven’t you ever watched Ratatouille? The rat can cook dammit!

When Luke went in to bake with his second dad he was very confused as to why Barbatos looked like he was having war flashbacks.

Huh... weird right? Anyway...

Good ol’ weird uncle Solomon suggested that after dinner everyone should get together and watch a movie.

L!MC and Solomon suggested that they watch The Conjuring and that idea got immediately shot down.

M!MC brought up that the most “family get-together” movie they could think of was Star Wars.

So they watched A New Hope.

“We could be watching the Conjuring right now.” L!MC murmured as they watched Luke Skywalker fumble his way to Obi Wan Kenobi.

“Yeah.” Solomon whispered back. “You know, I met Ed and Lorraine Warren.”

“Cool,” L!MC smiled. “My ren took me to their house once, when I went in to see all the haunted objects all the demons inside wanted to hang out with me.”

“Huh,” Solomon snickered. “Did they think you were Lucifer?”

“Yep. It was funny, Annabelle’s a pretty big asshole though.”

“I’d be an asshole too if I were stuck in a raggedy Anne doll since the 60s and not allowed to leave.”

“Both of you sh!” M!MC hissed, they threw some popcorn over their shoulder, which L!MC threw right back.

A while into the movie, M!MC elbowed Solomon and pointed at one of the aliens. “That’s you.”

“I’m so hurt…” Solomon pouted.

“And that’s you.” L!MC pointed at a stormtrooper that had just gotten shot with a blaster. M!MC scoffed and rolled their eyes.

“I’m not some dumb stormtrooper.”

“Yeah, you’re a little short for a stormtrooper.”

“HEY!”

“SHHHHHHH!” A!MC and Luke turned and started throwing their own popcorn…

The mess that they all had to vacuum after the movie was much more terrifying than The Conjuring ever could have been.

So, after a few days, Lucifer called to say that everyone was back to normal and the last remnants of the Demon-Flu were gone.

Yay! The kids could go back to their really overcrowded house!

The goodbyes were something to behold.

“Goodbye everyone! Come back sometime soon!” Diavolo waved from the doorway.

“Bye, Lord Diavolo!” L!MC smiled brightly and returned the wave. M!MC snickered and nudged them.

“That’s a pretty cold way to say goodbye to your dad-”

“Shut up…” L!MC growled.

“L!MC, what are they talking about?” Lucifer asked.

“Nothing!”

M!MC looked like they were weighing the pros and cons of surviving the conversation, then shrugged.

“M!MC, no, you have so much to live for!” A!MC pleaded.

“L!MC called Lord Diavolo dad!”

Mammon erupted into hysterical laughter while Asmo giggled and half heartedly patted L!MC on the head. Lucifer was not impressed.

“You know,” L!MC sighed. “I’m moving out. Lord Diavolo can I come live here?”

“L!MC, come back.” Lucifer trailed after his very embarrassed spawn.

A!MC pulled on their dad’s sleeve and cleared their throat.

“Yes sweetie?”

“D-dad, do you have a vehement hatred and or fear of rats?”

“Um-”

“Meet Templeton, he’s adorable and my friend.”

————————

Author’s note, The next part of the main series is coming next week… or this week… idk how long things take.

(Probably this week)

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Subaru Route ー Chapter 1

Yui: ( I have to retrieve my heart no matter what…! )

ー The scene starts in the area surrounding Bernstein Castle

Subaru: Oi, stay focused. 

Yui: Ah...Sorry, Subaru-kun. I got a little worried...

Subaru: Che...The problem’s not gonna fix itself by sittin’ ‘round, right? We just have to go look for it.

Yui: Right...I guess heading towards the city area is our best bet for now?

But how can we get there? Do you know the way?

Subaru: Well...I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t but...It’s pretty far away from here.

Yui: I see. It might take a while then.

Subaru: ...

...Come here for a sec.

Yui: Eh? ...Kyah!?

ー Subaru pulls her close

*Rustle*

Subaru: ...There we go.

Yui: W-Wait, Subaru-kun!? What has gotten into you!?

( He picked me up!? )

Subaru: Whatcha mean? ...We’re gonna fly there.

Yui: Eeh!?

Subaru: ...If we take the slow route and walk, your heart may not last, right?

Yui: Ah...

( I see...This is his way of showing concern... )

But, still, I’m a little scared of flying there...

Subaru: I’m gonna bite your tongue if you keep complaining! Now shush and let me carry youーー!

ー He leaps into the air

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the city area

Yui: ( Thanks to Subaru-kun, we reached the city in the blink of an eye... )

Things are more lively here than I expected.

Subaru: Yeah...There’s way too many people, it’s pissin’ me off...

Yui: ( Subaru-kun may say that but...The Demon World’s Parade seems kind of fun. )

( But, I’m sure I would have been able to enjoy it much more...If only we didn’t have other objectives already. )

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( ...No, there’s no helping it. Right now, we have to search for my heart. )

What should we do now?

Subaru: That’s not even a question! We’re gonna storm that darn castle and give Count what’s-his-face a good beatin’!

Yui: Eh!? Violence isn’t the answer...!

Subaru: You think I give a damn!? That guy had the nerve to steal somethin’ so important to you!

He should be happy he gets away with just a few punches!

Anyway, let’s head to the castle. We can talk ‘bout that later.

ー The scene shifts to the front gate of Bernstein Castle

Yui: Wah...What a large castle...

( Is this...Bernstein castle...? )

( The gates are closed shut, so I doubt it’ll be easy to get inside... )

*Thud*

Subaru: Che...We can’t get in like this...

This castle...It has an anti-Vampire barrier surrounding it...

Yui: A-A barrier...!?

Subaru: Shit! Fuck him and his petty tricks!

...Ugh!

*THUD THUD*

Yui: Wait, Subaru-kun...!? 

Subaru: If we can’t get in normally...We just gotta force our way inside...! I’m gonna break through this shit!

*THUD*

Yui: You can’t do that!

Subaru: Some nasty bastard stealin’ other people’s shit deserves no better...There!

*Crumble* 

Yui: ( Ah...The wall...! )

Subaru: Heh...Look at that. It’s more fragile than I thought. I might actually be able to kick a hole through. Hehe...

Yui: ( He’s completely set on destroying it...! What should I do...!? )

???: ーー Hold it.

Yui: Eh...?

( That startled me...Someone appeared out of nowhere... )

Subaru: Aah? Who the fuck are you?

Butler: ...My sincere apologies for the belated greeting. I am one of the butlers employed here. 

Yui: ( Here? ...So he works for Count Walter...? )

Subaru: And what does his butler want from us? We’re here to see the Count himself.

Butler: Yes, of course. I am aware.

ーー My master is waiting for you two inside. This way, please.

Subaru: Hah?

ー The gates open

Yui: ( Eh? ...They’ll let us in so easily...? )

Subaru: Wait, it might be a trap of some sorts...

He went as far as to put up a barrier ‘round his castle. I can’t imagine he’d meet us without a catch. 

Butler: It is most definitely not a trap.

My master said that he would rather not have the outer walls destroyed any further.

Yui: Ah...

( We can’t deny that one... )

Butler: ...Well then, please enter.

Subaru: ...

Che...Oh well, let’s go.

Oi, we don’t know what’s waitin’ inside...So don’t you dare leave my side, okay?

Yui: Y-Yeah...

ー The two of them enter the castle

Butler: Please make yourself comfortable here for a bit.

Subaru: ...Hmph.

Yui: ( I almost feel a little relieved (1) after we came here expecting the worst... )

Perhaps we don’t need to be so alert...? 

Let’s just sit down for now. 

Subaru: Che...

*Thud*

Yui: ( Waah...The outside looked splendid as well, but the interior is just as luxurious... )

Subaru: Oi, don’t look ‘round too much.

Yui: Ah...Sorry. I couldn’t help myself...

Subaru: Geez...

Butler: I have prepared a cup of tea as well. 

*Cling*

Yui: T-Thank you very much! Let me have a taーー

Subaru: Don’t drink it!

*SHATTER*

Yui: Ah...

( Seems like Subaru-kun is still alarmed after all... )

???: ...Well, well...Now that’s a guard dog if I’ve ever seen one..

Subaru: ーー Who’s there!?

Yui: ( Where is his voice coming from...? )

Count Walter: My name is Walter. It is a pleasure to meet you, Sakamaki Subaru and...the young lady over there.

Well, that being said...It might not be the first time the two of us meet...

Yui: ( Eh...? )

Subaru: Spare me the formalities! Show yourself already!

Count Walter: ーー I refuse.

Subaru: ...Excuse me!?

Count Walter: I am not as foolish as to carelessly extend my hand towards a ferocious watchdog who seems ready to lash at me any second.

However, let me praise you for your cautious behavior.

Subaru: What did you expect!?

Yui: ( Subaru-kun... )

Subaru: Give back her heart already!!

Count Walter: Sorry to disappoint, but I cannot do that.

Subaru: Aah? And why not!?

Count Walter: I have yet to come to a conclusion.

Yui: A conclusion...?

Count Walter: Yes, exactly. Young lady, whether or not you are a fit candidate for this unique heart ーー

I do not know yet. As long as I am not convinced, I simply cannot hand this back to you.

Subaru: Haah!? What kind of bullshit is that!?

For one...That’s not somethin’ you get to decide, is it!?

*CRASH*

Yui: Ah!

( The vase...He broke it...!? )

Count Walter: ...! That vase...!

Subaru: Ah? What ‘bout it?

Count Walter: Cut it out! Every piece of decoration in this castle is highly valuableーー

Subaru: Heeh, thanks for the information. In that case, I’ll make sure to make quick work of all of it.

...Take this!

*Thud*

*CRASH*

*Shatter*

Count Walter: Aah!

Subaru:  I don’t mind stoppin’ if you return her heart.

*CRASH*

Yui: Subaru-kun, you’re going too far!

( Count Walter has been left completely speechless... )

Subaru: ...What?

Yui: Eh?

Subaru: ...Why would you say that...When I’m doin’ this all for you...?

Che...

*SHATTER*

Subaru: There! What do you have to say now, huh!?

Yui: ( I doubt staying here will do the situation any good... )

Um...Subaru-kun? Why not calm down for now and then we can come back and try again later? 

Subaru: Aah? No need.

Also, you really think I’m gonna back down after we made it this far!?

Yui: But, look! Count Walter has gone quiet as well...

I doubt he’s willing to continue this conversation with us any further.

So...Please? Let’s go back for now? We have to find a place to stay for the night as well.

ー She pulls him away by his arm.

*Rustle*

Subaru: Ah, oi! Yui!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the gondola docks

Yui: ( I somehow dragged Subaru-kun this far but... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( He seems to be in a bad mood... )

Seems like we can at least take the gondola to return to the city. Shall we be on our way then?

Subaru: ...

Gondolier A: A ride for two?

Yui: Yes please.

Gondolier A: Off we go!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Rubien Canal

Yui: ( ...He’s been facing away this whole time...I want to tell him something though. )

Subaru-kun, you seeーー 

Subaru: ...What?

Yui: Um...Well.

I was happy you were trying to get my heart back.

Subaru: ...

Yui: But did you ever consider what might happen if the Count resorted to doing the same thing you did back there...?

Subaru: ...Haah!?

What I did...?

...

...Ah.

...You think that maybe he’ll destroy your heart as well...?

Yui: Y-Yeah...I think that’s a possibility.

Subaru: ...

...My bad.

I completely lost my temper...so I didn’t think that far ahead...

Sorry...

Yui: ( I made him sad...What should I do? )

Selection

→ Talk to him (☾)

Yui: S-Still...You did it with my wellbeing in mind, right?

Subaru: Yeah...Well...Obviously.

Yui: In that case...I’m very happy with that sentiment!

Subaru: ...

→ Don’t do anything 

Yui: ( However...It all started because my heart got stolen. )

( If he takes my words the wrong way (2), it might only makes things more awkward... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( Ah...I think I just made him even more sad...I should have said something. )

Yui: ( Hm...Isn’t there a better way to cheer him up...? )

( ...Right. )

Subaru-kun, I’m sorry but...Nn!

*Smooch*

Subaru: Wha...!? W-What are you doin’...!? 

Yui: ( Uu...It’s kind of embarrassing to take initiative to kiss his cheek but... )

...I know you did all of that for me so...I guess that was my way to...thank you...?

Subaru: ...Che...Fuck, don’t be doin’ that embarrassin’ shit...

For one...I only did it ‘cause I was pissed off...Not for your sake or anythin’...

Yui: Fufu...

( I’m glad. Seems like he calmed down a little. )

Well then...Shall we go apologize first and foremost? 

Subaru: ...Che, guess I have no other choice...

ー The scene shifts to the front gate of Bernstein castle

Yui: ( I’m sure the Count is very upset. )

( I hope he’ll forgive us... )

( However, if he doesn’t... )

Subaru: ...Oi.

Yui: ...Hm? What’s wrong, Subaru-kun?

Subaru: Wait one sec.

ー He walks away

Yui: ( There he goes...I wonder what has gotten into him...? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー Subaru returns

Yui: ( Ah...He’s back. )

Where did you go?

Subaru: ...Here, for you.

Yui: Eh...? A flower? Where did you get this...?

Subaru: They were handin’ them out over there, so I just went and got one.

So...Wipe that frown off your face already, okay?

Yui: Ah...

( Could it be...Did he grow worried because he realized I was feeling anxious...? )

Thank you, Subaru-kun.

Subaru: Hm...

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Ah...He grabbed my hand... )

( If we can show that our feelings are sincere, I’m sure the Count will be able to forgive us, right...? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to cafe Tarte Tatin

Yui: ( ーー Or so I thought... )

Subaru: Fuck, why!?

*Thud*

*Cling*

Yui: ( I can actually relate to Subaru-kun right now... )

Monologue

ーー Afterwards,

we  headed towards Bernstein castle,

for the second time...

However, no matter how many times we called out,

not even the butler showed up,

let alone Count Walter himself.

So with no other options at hand,

we entered a nearby cafe,

where Subaru-kun simply raged on.

Subaru: What’s that guy’s plan...!?

Yui: Hm...I guess we might have no other choice but to compensate for the broken goods....

Subaru: Sounds easy enough but...I don’t remember every single thing I destroyed.

Yui: R-Right...

( There was barely anything left of the stuff in the living room after all... )

But, I believe you dealt the most damage to the vases, the sculptures and...also some paintings, I think?

Subaru: I’m...impressed you remember all of that...

Yui: ( I was watching in panic after all... )

I did say we should compensate for them, but I’m pretty sure those were either unique art pieces. 

Or they’re extremely expensive so...What do we do now?

( Besides, I know near nothing about art... )

Subaru: ...

...The Old Man has this collection, you know.

Yui: Eh?

Subaru: Just like Count Walter, he enjoys going ‘round collectin’ all types of weird artworks.

Yui: Really?

Subaru: Yeah. There’s this shady Vampire who goes ‘round sellin’ art to the likes of them.

If I remember correctly...That guy should live in this city...

Yui: Eh? Then if we go see him...!

Subaru: ...Guess it’s worth talkin’ to him at least.

Yui: For sure! He might be the one who sold the Count some of the art pieces in his castle!

( Thank god, we somewhat settled on where to go from here...! )

Um...Then shall we go see him tomorrow?

Subaru: Yeah...I’m beat after everythin’ that went down today...

We should find a place to stay sooner rather than later and rest up. Tomorrow’s lookin’ to be another busy day after all.

ー The scene shifts to the lobby of Mondstein Hotel

Yui: Subaru-kun’s sure taking a while...

( He hasn’t returned since he left for the reception... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: Ah, Subaru-kun! Were you able to get us a room...?

( His behavior is a little off. Maybe they were fully booked...? )

Subaru: What do you think!? (3) There’s barely any rooms left ‘cause of the Parade...

Yui: Eh...?

Subaru: ...They’ve only got one room left.

Yui: Ah...Phew. I was worried about what we’d do in case they were fully booked...

We got lucky there’s one left!

Subaru: Why are you actin’ like it’s no big deal!? Do you know what that implies!? There’s only ONE room!

Yui: Eh? Y-Yeah...Is there a problem with that...?

Subaru: ...Ugh...

Do I have to spell it out for you...!? A man and a woman sharing the same room is obviously asking for trouble.

Yui: ...! ...Now that you mention it...

B-But...Isn’t it still better than not having anywhere to spend the night at all...?

( Besides, sleeping outside in the Demon World would be pretty dangerous, no? )

Subaru: ...Fuck, don’t you have any sense of danger at all...?

Yui: Eh? Did you say something just now?

Subaru: Shut up! I didn’t say anythin’!

Che...You can take the room. I’ll just find somewhere else to sleep.

Yui: Y-You can’t do that...! If you don’t get a proper night’s rest, it might affect you tomorrow...

Anyway, we were lucky to snatch the last room so let’s just take it?

Ah....But if you dislike the idea of sharing a room with me that much...I suppose I can consider it...

Subaru: I-I never said I dislike the thought of it, did I...!?

...

Fuck...Don’t blame me if somethin’ happens...

ー The scene shifts to the hotel room

Yui: ( We made it to our room at least, but... )

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru-kun...What have you been doing this whole time...?

Subaru: Can’t you tell? I’m drawing a line in the middle of the bed.

Yui: ( Where did he even pull that divider from...? )

Subaru: Listen up. Starting from here to the other edge is your side.

So don’t you dare cross this line. 

Yui: S-Sure...Fine by me...

( Uu...Now that I think about it, having to share a room with Subaru-kun does make me a little nervous... )

( The nerves are only just getting to me... )

ー They can hear noises coming from the outside

Yui: Hm? What could this sound be?

( Guess I’ll step out on the balcony. )

ー The scene shifts to the balcony

Yui: Waah...!

( There’s a drum and fife band performing over by the gondolas we boarded earlier! )

( I should go inform Subaru-kun as well! )

Hey, Subaru-kun, why don’t you join mーー

*WOOSH*

Yui: ( ...What? What’s this uncomfortable feeling inside my chest...? )

( Ah...I’m dizzy... )

Subaru: Oi, Yui! Everythin’ okay!?

ー She nearly collapses

*Thud*

Yui: Ah...Subaru-kun...

Subaru: What’s wrong? You gave me a scare when you suddenly lost your balance just now...

Yui: Sorry...My heart just acted weird for a second...

Thank you for supporting me.

Subaru: ...

...If that guy does somethin’ to your heart ‘cause I went on a rampage...

I don’t know what I’d do...

Yui: It only lasted for a few seconds and now everything seems completely fine again so...I’m sure it’s fine.

Subaru: ...Ugh...

This is the part where you get mad at me, no!? Why won’t you blame me!?

Yui: Well...

Judging from what we learnt about him today, the Count strikes me as the type of person who can appreciate a treasure when he sees one so...

I don’t believe he would thoughtlessly destroy something of value, don’t you think...?

So, no need to worry that muーー

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Wah...He wrapped his arms around me...! )

Subaru: ...Haah...You really are too kind and optimistic...

Yui: A-Am I...?

Subaru: Yeah. But...I don’t exactly...dislike that side of you.

*Rustle*

Yui: ...

...Thank you...

( Uu...How embarrassing... )

Ah! S-Subaru-kun! Look! They’re going to play again!

Subaru: ...Che...Who gives a damn ‘bout that shit? Focus on me right now.

For one...Don’t be gettin’ distracted by other stuff when I’m right here in front of you...

Yui: Fufu...Sorry...

Subaru: Che...I’m sure you’ll have another chance to watch the performance in the future, no?

But...Well, if you insist...I guess we can watch together.

Yui: ...Yeah!

( It’s a little embarrassing while he’s still holding me in his arms but... )

( Still, I’m happy we get to enjoy it together like this. )

These kinds of performances are kind of exciting, don’t you think?

( I know now’s not the time for that but... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: Ah...Sorry. I bet you’re not in the mood right now...

Subaru: No...It’s fine.

Yui: Eh...?

Subaru: ...I’ll fix this whole ordeal somehow...

So you just keep that dumb smile on your face, ‘kay?

Yui: D-Dumb...? How mean!

Yeah...But...Thanks.

( How strange...Subaru-kun shouldn’t have a body temperature but...For some reason, he feels warm. )

( He’s right here with me. )

( That alone is very reassuringーー )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー 

Translation notes

(1) 拍子抜け can mean either ‘to feel disappointed/demotivated’ or ‘to feel relieved’ depending on the context. In this case, I chose ‘relieved’ because them being let inside the castle should be considered a good thing.

(2) フォローする obviously comes from the English ‘follow’ and is used whenever someone backs you up or tries to say something supportive/encouraging to improve the mood. In this case, Yui is worried about her words of support being taken the wrong way, so she decides to stay quiet.

← RETURN TO PROLOGUE

→ PROCEED WITH MAIN STORY [CHAPTER 2]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #1 [W/ AYATO]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #2 [W/ LAITO]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #3 [W/ YUMA]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #4 [W/ AZUSA]

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

re: your last ask about the time travel shenanigans—holy fuck yes please more of this. like, not only is it funny as hell, which i appreciate, but it's also a. more c!thomas and b. points to just how interestingly both the plot and characters of this series have grown over the years and i am ALL for it

"Janus!" is the first thing Thomas exclaims when he sees the Side Formerly Known Exclusively As Deceit rise up where Logan would usually stand. Which just might be a mistake, if Janus’s expression is anything to go by.

Okay, in Thomas's defence -

This is a really, really weird day, even by his standards. Because, like, Logan's currently standing in front of the stairs, and that's not where Logan's supposed to be, and his shirt and tie are all wrong. And had had been grinning. Openly. He had been openly grinning when Thomas had first woken up and looked in his wardrobe and realized that his favorite t-shirt apparently doesn't exist anymore and all his clothes are a half-size smaller than he's used to but also they still fit and - okay, no, back to Logan. He'd gone downstairs and tripped over a chair that wasn't supposed to be there and called out Logic. And he'd been about to ask him what's going on and why everything feels so off and also why Logan's standing in Virgil's usual spot instead of over to the right of the stairs. But then he'd noticed all the aforementioned Very Weird Clothing Things. And he'd stopped and said, "Uh, Logan?" and Logan's grin had dropped and he'd stared at Thomas for a full ten seconds then whispered, "what the fuck," with great emotion.

And then Patton had shown up with a ridiculous amount of pun-riddled cheerfulness that Thomas had been able to clock as sixty-percent fake within about half a second. And his clothes had been all wrong, too, and after a lot of confused, borderline-incomprehensible yelling at each other, Roman had showed up and added to the chaos.

"I am scared and confused and on the verge of completely losing it!" Thomas had declared at some point, which had been the cue for an ominous music sting somewhere to Thomas's right that made everybody jolt in terrified unison.

"Did somebody say scared and confused and on the verge of completely losing it?"

"Virgil, thank god!" Thomas had practically yelled, and just about thrown himself across the room to get to him - before pausing midway and allowing his brain to process... wrong hoodie. Wrong amount of eyeshadow. "Wait. No, hang on, is this - "

"FUCKING WHO," Virgil shrieked, leaping backwards half a flight of stairs, which had led to another round of confused yelling, with Thomas trying to assure them all that he's fine he hasn't had some sort of strange head injury or whatever, he's just really happy to see Virgil and no of course that's not weird, what do you mean who's Virgil, that's Virgil right over there, Roman please put down that sword things are already out of hand -

And at some point Thomas had got it into his head that the most reasonable course of events was to summon the one person who always seems to know everything that everybody else doesn't, which brings everything up to speed, more or less. Roman had gone, "Thomas, what are you doing," and Thomas, feeling slightly manic at this point, had said, "I'm trying to summon a demon, obviously," because the best way to get hold of a certain someone probably is blatant lying, and boom, instant Janus.

"Jeee-sus Christ on a cookie-shaped canoe, what is he doing here?!"

"Janus!"

So, Janus pops up, he looks literally the same as he always has (except maybe with shorter hair? Wait, they all have shorter hair, including Thomas, wait a second -) with his half-snake-face and his hat and gloves that cosy-looking capelet of his. And although his expression reflects faint bewilderment and that very particular 'wait, what' emotion that results in being pulled abruptly away from something you were busy with, he looks so normal that Thomas thinks for a moment he might be the only sane person left.

But then Janus makes a series of start-and-stop noises of incomprehension, and gestures wildly towards Virgil, who's crouched midway up on the stairs behind Logan, looking like a cornered wild animal, and snaps, "Why for the love of everything that's holy would you tell him my name?"

"You think this is me?" Virgil retorts, hands going up to grab desperately at the bars lining the side of the staircase. "I don't understand anything that's going on! He somehow knows my name! He's - he's being nice to me!"

It suddenly occurs to Thomas that this might just possibly be a time travel sort of thing. It would explain the clothes shift. And the altered layout of his house. And the fact that when he'd checked his phone this morning it had told him it was 2016, and also it hadn't been his phone, it had been the one he'd broken a few years ago in a tragic piano-moving-related accident.

...Okay, yeah, this is absolutely a time travel thing.

"Is somebody going to explain why Thomas ruined all of our heartfelt name reveal moments in one fell swoop?" Roman demands. "I thought we agreed we were going to do them gradually and draw them out as long as possible for dramatic effect!"

"I agreed to none of that," Virgil snaps from his position halfway up the stairs.

"Yes," says Logan, "yes, I think we all would like to know what's going on. Thomas? What's going on?"

"Uh - " Thomas, who has just come to a rather startling realization about time travel and also about how shitty his Sides' taste in costumes were pre-wardrobe change, doesn't really have a prepared answer for this. "I have... I am - I just - "

Thomas struggles for words. Really struggles. And everyone's just standing there, watching him with expressions that range from terror to confusion to suspicion, and they all look so weirdly young in a way that's hard to pin down. It's the clothes. It's probably the clothes, or maybe it's the way they hold themselves. Roman, carelessly confident, without a doubt in the world. Patton, still wearing a fixed dad-grin, politely baffled and looking back and forth. Logan, who hasn't been systematically beaten down and pushed back over the course of many, many years. Virgil, who's basically just a ball of grey-and-black anger and acerbic anger at this point. Janus, who's... Janus. Who's looking at him in a way that Janus has never looked at him before.

And Remus is probably lurking somewhere in the back of his mind, too, doing whatever Remus does, and - would Remus be any different now, four years prior? Thomas hadn't had any significant problems with intrusive thoughts, not back then... or, well, back now. Maybe he's calmer, maybe Thomas could actually talk with him. Try to work something out, try to understand.

But wait, he's still got to give the Sides right here and right now an answer.

Hm.

...Thomas has been through a lot in the past four years. Not, like, fantasy protagonist a lot, but more like a extended psychological journey of self-discovery and mental health crises. Now, he wouldn't trade any of this for the world, because he's learned a hell of a lot about himself in the process - but also? The Sides have put him through a lot of horrifying realization-type things.

Which is why he absolutely one hundred percent deserves to do what he's about to do next.

"I," says Thomas, with an extraordinary amount of confidence and self-assuredness, "am psychic."

And the dead silence holds. Now even Patton is staring at him in disbelief. Janus has graduated into outright horror, his face twisted up into a oh god no I am somehow responsible for letting him delude himself this far expression.

"Thomas!" Roman gasps, almost instantly lighting up with genuine enthusiasm. "Oh, Thomas, I'm so proud, we've been working on this for years. Tell me, does this extend to telekinesis, or just somehow knowing all our names and nothing else?"

"What?" Janus says. "What - no. No, you can't seriously be going along with this - what? That... what? That doesn't even make any sense?" He turns wildly from left to right, and - okay, it's very enjoyable to see him out of his depth, to be perfectly honest. Thomas likes Janus a lot, knows he has his best interests at heart, but the whole courtroom thing had been a major dick move. This is satisfying. "Are any of you getting this? Does anyone here understand what's going on?"

"I'm psychic," Thomas repeats doggedly. "I acquired magical psychic powers and now I know all of your names and tragic backstories. Surprise! I unlocked my full potential and the ninety-percent of my brain power that I wasn't using."

"That's - that's a widely-perpetuated and wildly incorrect myth," Logan says weakly.

"Nope. Turns out it's true, and I was only using ten percent of it, and now that I've gone full big-brain, I know that Patton's repressing all his bad feelings because he doesn't want to bother anyone with them, Virgil acts all scary and menacing because he thinks it's the only way that I'll ever listen to him, and Janus is secretly a huge dork with a heart of gold - uh, yellow, I guess."

"How dare you," Janus breathes, looking horrified.

"Wha - " Patton suddenly looks very pale indeed.

"Also, Roman, you're my hero; Logan, please never stop smiling like that ever again, it's literally my favorite thing in the world and if you ever stop being enthusiastic about teaching me things I will cry - and Virgil, I love you."

Virgil lets out a choked little noise like he's just been punched directly in the stomach.

"I love all of you," Thomas adds, an afterthought. "I never say that enough. Janus, that goes for you as well. You're right, I need to take care of myself more."

"I'm - " Janus is still looking around at everyone in complete disbelief, but now his gaze fixes onto Thomas, his eyes wide. "I'm what?"

Thomas is now on a roll. An extremely cathartic sort of roll. "And Remus -"

Everybody immediately panics. Virgil and Logan's hands both immediately leap up to clasp over their mouths, which seems to be a reflexive reaction on Janus's behalf. Patton lets out a deranged-sounding high pitched giggle that edges into genuine hysteria.

"Brother? What brother? I don't know what a brother is!" Roman says loudly. "I've never had a brother in my life! Thomas, your glorious psychic powers are malfunctioning. Have you tried turning them off and turning them on again?"

" - I'm not going to lie and say I love him, but -" Thomas stops abruptly, and staggers  backwards to catch himself on the couch as a thought strikes him out of literally nowhere. "Son of a bitch -"

"Does being psychic make you swear a lot?" Patton asks weakly. "Because, uh. Not sure I like this side of you, kiddo - "

"Logan," says Thomas. "Logan, what's the date today? This is so, so important, what's the date."

"It's... October," Logan says, very slowly. "October twentieth. 2016?"

"Holy shit," Thomas whispers, and then says it louder, "holy shit. Okay, listen. I was going to sort out all of our collective psychological issues in one impressive emotional speedrun, but I've realized we have something much more important to do." He pauses, and takes in a very deep, shuddering breath. "Guys. We can save Vine. Excuse me. I've just realized I’ve got to make a lot of calls."