#But they're so minor that I won't include them in the tags

[bespectacled-bookwyrm]

Home

Summary: It doesn't have to be a place.

Rather fragmented, but I quite like it.

What do you think? :)

[adieutristana]

general relationship headcanons | arcane women x fem! reader

summary: general headcanons for dating arcane characters.

characters included: jinx, vi, mel, sevika, maddie.

tags/warnings: fluff, mentions of poor mental health, smoking, drinking, mentions of war and death, minor season 2 spoilers. slightly suggestive? lots of fluff.

jinx;

✧.* you are without a doubt jinx's first partner. she has never really seen herself in a relationship, never thought that was in the cards for her. until you came along, of course.

✧.* it takes jinx a while to process the fact that you're in a relationship. that you want to be with her, and you enjoy her companionship. she's so used to being perceived as bad luck to everyone, and those close to her dying. so when it finally does set in that you truly do like her, she'll do everything in her power to show her love to you. part of her will always think you're too good for her, though.

✧.* jinx is a very devoted lover. she lives and breathes for you, she worships the ground you walk on. she's constantly checking in on you, touching you somehow, or talking your ear off simply because she enjoys your company.

✧.* however, jinx is also a very jealous lover and can get possessive. she doesn't necessarily mean to be that way, but it's her head telling her that you'll find someone better. that you're too good for her, and some other pretty girl will come sweep you off your feet. it'll take jinx a while to get used to your friends and not think that they're trying to plot how to steal you from her.

✧.* with this, jinx is fiercely protective over you. if you're out together and get hit on, or you rant to her about somebody who's been bothering you, she'll have it 'taken care of' within a matter of hours. she won't tell you what that means, but you won't see or hear from the person again.

✧.* jinx wants to involve you in her world! that's one of her biggest ways of showing her love to you. she'll pull up an extra chair so you can watch her or help her with her newest contraptions. she'll invite you to tag walls across zaun with her. she'll tell you about all of her battle plans, giggling all the way. as if she's not discussing something that could cost her her life.

✧.* overall, jinx is rather unconventional in a relationship (and in general) and shows affection through her own unique little ways.

✧.* "i wish i could crawl inside you and be with you forever.. that'd be nice. huh? why are ya looking at me like that?"

✧.* jinx is very touch-starved. although she is very resistant to physical touch at first, she quickly comes to love it. it's reassuring for her, being able to touch her partner. feel them. they're real, and they're not going anywhere.

✧.* jinx's favorite forms of physical affection are kissing, holding hands, and cuddling. there'll be times where you're in the middle of talking to her (usually about something important) and she'll stop you mid-sentence with a cheeky kiss.

✧.* "what? your lips are right there." she giggles.

✧.* when it comes to cuddling, jinx enjoys spooning, and laying her head on your chest. being able to hear your heartbeat is relaxing to her. although jinx is a small woman, she almost always insists on being the big spoon. she doesn't care if you're a head shorter than her or a full foot taller, she just wants to be able to hold you close.

✧.* jinx is incredibly playful. she'll play pranks on you, like coming up behind you to tickle your sides, or sneak glitter bombs into your bags when you're leaving her base. she loves to see your reactions, and she loves to keep you on your toes.

✧.* she loves to make little gifts for you. if you mention needing a new speaker, she's got you covered. the next day, she presents you with a small speaker, decorated in jinx's typical colorful grafitti. she'll make music boxes that play off-key versions of your favorite songs, and she'll doodle on basically everything you have. it's a way to show that she cares, and seeing your reactions make all of the work worth it.

✧.* jinx loves pda. she gets to both show off her wonderful girlfriend, and remind everyone that you belong to her. two birds with one stone.

✧.* you're one of the only people that jinx lets braid her hair. they say that hair holds memories, and for jinx, that is absolutely true. her hair is incredibly important to her, so you knew she trusted you when she let you braid it for the first time. she lets out a gentle sigh as she feels your nimble fingers working softly through her hair, and you can see her body fully relax. she's still and at peace for a few moments.

✧.* jinx is not good with words. at all. communication is one of her weakest traits, so you'll have to be patient with her. if she's upset, she'll usually just hold it in. she'll take off randomly, or end up holding it in until it bubbles over (and then she apologizes profusely). this gets better with time, but for a while, jinx doesn't know how to express her emotions or concerns in a healthy way.

✧.* jinx needs constant reassurance. as mentioned, she has a difficult time regulating her emotions. she's constantly overthinking, having nightmares, and hallucinating. those all decrease significantly while she's with you, but they never fully go away.

✧.* "you're not gonna take off in the middle of the night and find someone else, are you?" jinx asks, her pink eyes full of worry.

✧.* "no, love. i'm here to stay. i promise." you reassure her, pressing your forehead to hers gently.

✧.* jinx loves pet names. being called them, and calling you them. her favorites are 'toots,' 'trinket,' 'baby,' 'doll,' and 'beautiful.'

✧.* calling her anything with 'my' in front of it causes her to positively melt. 'my dearest,' 'my love,' 'my girl,' the whole nine yards. yes, remind her that she's yours.

vi;

✧.* vi is a generally rather inexperienced lover. while she's had the odd fling and situationship, you're likely one of her first actual girlfriends.

✧.* with this comes her being unsure about how to navigate a romantic relationship at first, but she quickly gets the hang of it. vi is a natural.

✧.* despite her tough exterior, vi is a lover girl at heart, and she's ecstatic that she finally gets someone to share that love with. someone as incredible and perfect as you.

✧.* tease, tease, tease. she'll constantly have you on edge, your eyes wide and cheeks heating up. whether that be by peppering light kisses on your neck while you're trying to work, or whispering into your ear something along the lines of, "you're so beautiful, darling. tell, just how do you do it?"

✧.* she's also very playful and competitive. vi is likely to challenge you to a playful sparring match, and she gets very into board games. girlfriend or not, she'll show no mercy.

✧.* vi reserves most of her affection for private moments. the farthest she'll go in front of other people is likely just holding your hand. she believes that the way she holds you, the way she whispers sweet nothings against your lips is nobody else's business.

✧.* that's not to say she won't brag about her beautiful, amazing, talented, smart, perfect girlfriend to anyone who will listen, though.

✧.* vi has a lot of walls up, and guards her emotions. although she'll likely open up to you eventually about her worries and past, it'll be very gradual, in small amounts. she isn't used to being vulnerable, especially not feeling safe to be vulnerable.

✧.* despite this, she does communicate well and values honesty and trust. she believes in cutting problems at the source. if something is bothering you, tell her. if you need something from her, tell her.

✧.* vi is very strong, and won't hesitate to lift you up while giggling. she'll lift you to sit you right back down on a countertop, snaking her arms around your waist to begin pressing soft kisses to your lips.

✧.* vi doesn't hesitate to let you know how important you are to her, to reassure you that she loves you more than anything.

✧.* "y'know, i spent all day thinking about you. waiting for when i could see your pretty face again. you have no idea how much you mean to me..."

✧.* it may come as a surprise, but vi is very much a morning person. she generally prefers to wake up by 6am, getting an early start to her day and brewing coffee as she watches the sunrise. it's a little bit of quiet time before all the chaos that comes with the day. it's not rare for you to wake up without vi, but if you walk into the kitchen and sit down beside her, she'll wordlessly lay her head on your shoulder.

✧.* vi constantly returns home bruised and sore. she'll be eternally grateful if you bandage her, and if you gently kiss her wounds after patching them up, she may just melt on the spot.

✧.* although, or because she's constantly injured, vi has a very high pain tolerance. she'll often undermine just how much discomfort she's in because she's just so used to it. muscle tension, cuts, scrapes. part of this is also vi not wanting to worry you.

✧.* vi loves acts of service. if you mention that you're overwhelmed by the amount of cleaning you have to do, you don't even have time to say anything before she's doing it for you. she'll try to cook for you, although she's far from great at it. the point is that she cares.

✧.* however, she doesn't really like receiving acts of service. part of her feels bad, and she feels like she owes you in return.

✧.* vi does tend to come home drunk from time to time, and the frequency increases when she's having a particularly tough time mentally. although it's not healthy, it's a temporary relief. she'll never get wasted, but you may have to help her sober up fairly often.

✧.* vi also adores pet names. her favorites are 'baby,' 'gorgeous,' and of course, 'cupcake.'

✧.* sorry, but i think you'd need to remind her to wash up. vi is pretty much always covered in some kind of sweat or grime, and genuinely just forgets to take a shower after a long day sometimes. she's tired.

✧.* it's no surprise that vi can get rough. her hands tangle in your hair, she squeezes your hips while kissing you, her lips slamming into yours as if her life depends on this moment right now.

✧.* "god, baby. you don't know how much i needed this."

mel;

✧.* mel is pretty experienced, but none of her past relationships have really lasted. mel is a woman who knows what she deserves and knows what she wants, and none of her previous suitors have fit the bill quite right. you find it hard to rationalize how you have.

✧.* if you're with mel, be prepared to fully commit to her. mel sees casual dating as a waste of time and energy, and wants nothing but complete devotion. she dates to marry.

✧.* as gentle as she is, she'll remind you of that often. don't waste her time, don't waste her energy, don't take her companionship for granted.

✧.* mel is a busy woman. as much as she wishes things could be different, she has a job to do and a city to stay loyal to. there may be days-long, or even weeks-long periods of you not being able to see each other.

✧.* however, she'll still find ways to show her love and devotion to you when you're not physically together. it's not uncommon for you to get deliveries of extravagant, expensive bouquets to your workplace and/or home. complete with a note that reads something along the lines of, "i miss you most ardently, dearest. don't forget me, i'll be with you soon."

✧.* mel spoils you to absolutely no end. she's the richest woman in all of piltover, why wouldn't she? if your eyes even linger on something at a shop for a few seconds, or you mention needing something in passing, it's immediately yours. no ifs, ands, or buts.

✧.* mel has zero problems communicating how she feels with you, and expects the same from you. unfortunately, if you're unable to express yourself through words like she is, she becomes a bit upset. reassure her that you're trying, and she'll have patience.

✧.* naturally, she also has no problems having uncomfortable conversations with you. that's a major part of her job, after all: having uncomfortable conversations. usually it's something about an unfavorable decision the council had to make, or something weighing heavy on her mind about your relationship. mel wants to talk it over and be done with it.

✧.* mel loves nighttime. it's probably the only time she gets to herself, so she'll cuddle up to you in bed, pressing soft kisses to your temples and whispering her adoration. "you're so, so beautiful. so perfect. so lovely. everything that i need."

✧.* mel smells heavenly. she has an extensive skincare and hair care routine that she stays on top of. think warm vanilla and honey.

✧.* mel is also, in general, very calm and soft-spoken. it takes a lot to get her worked up enough to raise her voice or lose her composure outside of council meetings.

✧.* mel loves kissing. kissing, kissing, kissing. kissing your knuckles when she hasn't seen you in a few days. her lips capturing yours almost desperately while one hand cradles the back of your head, the other placed on your waist. kissing your neck lazily in the mornings while you're both still half-asleep.

✧.* naturally, with her position comes a great amount of power. you have mel's protection from anything or anyone that could put you in harm's way.

✧.* easily one of the most supportive partners you can ever have. she'll let you ramble on and on about your interests, support your newest ventures, and financially support you when possible. ultimately, mel just wants to see you happy. she honestly thinks there isn't a thing you can't do.

✧.* she tries not to let it show, but mel does get jealous. very, very jealous. you're hers, what are you doing going around piltover with unsavory characters? she'll clench her fists by her side, trying not to let her envy show on her face.

✧.* "darling. i thought i told you not to be in these parts of the city." she says, her expression completely stern.

✧.* mel values knowledge. she's constantly trying to learn new things, partly to feel enriched, and partly for her job. it's not uncommon for her to curl up in your lap with a recently-published book about current happenings, or ancient history that could assist her decision-making.

✧.* mel writes you letters very often. expect at least 6-page long letters, on paper lined in gold leaf with the neatest penmanship you've seen in your lifetime. she pours out her heart to you in each letter, telling you her deepest joys and fears both. she signs each letter with a kiss, her lipstick lingering on the bottom of the page.

✧.* mel absolutely refuses to engange in any kind of pda. not only does she find it unbecoming of a woman in her position, but she becomes flustered quickly. it's adorable, honestly.

✧.* however, whenever the two of you are alone, she's entirely yours. body and soul.

sevika;

✧.* sevika is very experienced, to the surprise of absolutely nobody. she's a regular at local brothels, and knows her way around relationships. she preferred to only ever have casual relationships, or so she thought.

✧.* once she's yours, she's yours. sevika completely stops going to brothels and entertaining other women. she is fiercely loyal to you, her devotion never wavering.

✧.* sevika is incredibly touchy. she always has to be touching you somehow. whether that be a hand firmly gripping your waist, her chin resting on your shoulder, or her thigh touching yours. it brings her a sense of security.

✧.* sevika is very strong and heavy-handed. there's no chance of her not accidentally leaving bruises on you by just grasping your arm, or pulling you in for a hug after a particularly dangerous mission. she apologizes profusely, swearing she didn't mean to hurt you, no matter how much you tell her it's okay.

✧.* she does learn to be more gentle over time, she's just not used to handling someone in an affectionate way. battle has toughened her.

✧.* she won't dare admit it, but you bring out the softie in her. she'll grumble as you lay your head in her lap, reaching up to interlace your fingers with hers. don't mention the way her heartbeat audibly quickens, she'll deny it until she can't anymore.

✧.* "i am not flustered. cut that out." "oh, but you're so cute like this!"

✧.* sevika loves pet names and nicknames as well, but also won't dare admit that. she particularly loves it when you call her 'sev.'

✧.* in return, she'll call you 'my pretty girl,' 'darlin', 'hun,' and 'babe.' the classics, nothing too fancy.

✧.* sevika doesn't have a lot of energy these days, as she gets older and battle takes more and more out of her. so those tranquil moments where she simply gets to lay with you, kissing the corner of your lips and whispering praises to you are some of her favorite. give this poor woman a break, please.

✧.* it takes sevika forever to open up to you. it already took her ages to admit that she had romantic feelings for you, so don't expect her to easily voice her feelings or worries.

✧.* even when you can tell something is wrong, she'll almost always brush it off. "don't worry 'bout it, babe. i'll be fine."

✧.* until she's not, and all she wants is for you to hold her. she'll simply slot herself in your arms and rest her head on your shoulder, embracing you in comfortable silence. yes, that's enough for now.

✧.* while she's not really one for pda, sevika will absolutely show you off to anyone and everyone, regardless of whether they want to pay attention. she totes you around like you're a prize- her pretty girl, who everyone can look at, but only she can have.

✧.* sevika doesn't really get jealous. she trusts you, and she trusts that you know exactly who you belong to. she doesn't mind you hanging out with your friends or even exes for prolonged periods of time, you know where home is.

✧.* she is very possessive, though. she trusts that you'll stay in line, but god help you if you ever let a hug with a friend linger for too long.

✧.* once sevika does open up to you, it's like an entirely different woman. she's telling you how grateful she is for you, how she never imagined she'd know a love like this.

✧.* "i never thought i'd... deserve something like this, you know? but you get me. you see me."

✧.* you're probably the one who cut her hair. she just decided she was tired of it, and came up to you with a pair of haircutting scissors, not saying anything. you were a bit hesitant, unsure if this was an impulsive decision or what she really wanted. but you were happy to help.

✧.* sevika loves to just... admire you. you're so beautiful, she can't help it. but tell her she's beautiful, too. she hasn't heard it nearly enough in her life.

✧.* she often comes home smelling of smoke, but as time (s2) goes on, that stops. she decided her health was more important, even if she couldn't undo the damage of years of smoking. you helped her come to this decision, although unconsciously.

maddie;

✧.* maddie has only really had flings and friends-with-benefits situations in the past. you're her first actual girlfriend, but she's determined to be the best girlfriend you could possibly ask for.

✧.* maddie looks like a total sweetheart. and she is, to an extent, but looks can be deceiving.

✧.* maddie is nothing if not a tease. she'll blow cold air on the back of your neck just to hear you yelp, she'll stop short just before kissing you to tell you something completely stupid and unrelated. she loves seeing your reactions, she thinks they're adorable.

✧.* "and then commander said that i needed to adjust my posture, it was unfit for an officer. i mean, can you believe- oh, you wanted a kiss? sorry, i didn't realize!"

✧.* maddie is very protective, and very confrontational. especially when it comes to you. if someone is making you uncomfortable, she'll get right in their face and tell them off then and there, her usual peppy voice dropping an octave.

✧.* maddie is pretty good at expressing her feelings and communicating, but doesn't really make it a point to do so. it comes up when it comes up. she mentions how she's feeling in passing.

✧.* overall, she's pretty unpredictable. she likes to keep you guessing when it comes to your relationship.

✧.* of course, maddie's loyalty is unmatched. she knows a thing or two about devotion as a junior officer, but when it comes to her dearest girl, she'll genuinely lay her life down before she ever thinks of leaving you.

✧.* maddie is a busy woman, but will make time for you, no matter what. even if that means showing up at your door disheveled and tired right before midnight, not seeming to care about how tired you look.

✧.* quality time is incredibly important to maddie. time is money for her, as is for piltover, and she intends to give you the most time she can. she'll often drag you along on walks along the city, talking your ear off about whatever adventures she was up to in the hours previous.

✧.* i'm not sure why, but i think that maddie would really enjoy reading. she'd curl up next to you, your arm draped around her as she softly reads aloud from the novel in her hand. it's peaceful, the way her voice is so quiet and she yawns every few sentences.

✧.* maddie cuts her own hair, undoubtedly. with dull scissors. she employs your help, though, in making sure that it's all even and looks presentable.

✧.* "come on, i don't need anything else. these scissors work fine, y'see?"

✧.* probably one of the most chaotic sleepers. she hogs the blankets, elbows you in her sleep, and snores, loud. she'll apologize while giggling in the morning, but something tells you she's not actually that sorry. it just adds to her charm.

✧.* she does love to hold you, though. she'll tuck your head into the crook of her neck, one hand through your hair and the other on the small of your back. no words uttered, no words needed.

✧.* loves pda. she won't miss a chance to show off her beloved, and cover her pretty face in kisses in front of all of piltover if she gets the chance. you're hers, aren't you? that's something to be proud of!

✧.* maddie knows piltover like the back of her hand. she often takes you to her favorite spots, 'hidden gems,' as she calls them. she'll tell you all about the history of the specific place, all while holding your hand and clinging tightly to you.

[homocidalpotat]

Intro post under the cut!

Please read it though, I sorted it out so it should be very simple to read :3

Basic introduction

This post is probably on the boring side, and quite lengthy but if you can be bothered to read it I would really appreciate it.

URL stuff: Link! (in case my url offends/confuses you)

Name: Jasper

Gender: Alexigender/genderqueer/genderfluid/non-binary, whatever, I don't massively care lol

Pronouns: They/them mostly but I'm happy anything other than she/her

Theriotypes (yeah, I'm a therian/otherhearted!): Bats, foxes, Burmese mountain dogs, moths

MBTI and Zodiac: INTJ, Scorpio (I don't believe in zodiac sign meanings or anything but if you want to know, here!)

Other blogs/sideblogs: link

DNI

Discriminators, racists, homophobes, aphobes, transphobes, sexists, terfs, nazis, radfems, radqueers, anti-endos, antifurs, anti therians, proshippers, pedophiles, rapists, haters, donation blogs

I am a minor, so don't tag or show me anything that might not be appropriate. Literally anything NSFW. Anything 18+. Anything sexual at all (plus, I'm sex-repulsed) is a really big no.

Please don't harass me- with spam, in my DMs/askbox; about ANYTHING. If you have a problem with something I say or do, just talk to me calmly? It's not the end of the world if you don't like my posts. Block me if you want, I don't really care.

For mutuals and other people that tag me- PLEASE DON'T TAG ME IN STUFF ABOUT BAD MENTAL HEALTH!!! This includes trauma dump chains.

Donations/gofundmes

As I'm a minor with no money I can't donate to any funds for anything or anyone. I might not reblog donation posts if there are triggering subjects on it, but if I feel able to, I will. Please don't send me asks/DMs for donations/help, here is why I have said this . I mean any asks, no matter your situation or nationality. I'm not doing favouritism.

Link to Daily Clicks for Palestine: here

I made a petition for perfume use in schools here, please sign it! Here's the post about it.

Queer stuff

I'm asexual and sex repulsed. I am also genderqueer/genderfluid/alexigender, so I don't mind what terminology or pronouns you use on me but I prefer more neutral ones. I don't know how to label my sexuality but I'm just calling it queer. I'm in a loving, long-term romantic relationship with the wonderful @names-confuse-me (they're called Erin and he's awesome!).

I will always respect your pronouns and identity and I am a safe person to speak to about this (and most other things). If I don't know your pronouns I will use they/them until I find out. Sometimes I don't fully understand an identity but I will always respect and acknowledge it!

Queer dictionary (genuinely a lifesaver): Link!!! And here's the link to the post I made about it!

Mental Health stuff

I am officially diagnosed with autism, and I might have OCD. My parents think I have ADHD, as well as probably synthensia. But in short I am neurodivergent, so would really appreciate a safe environment for me, if you can provide it!

I also have vivid hallucinations, panic attacks, I self harm, etc. I have a vent blog so I won't mention it here, and I always use trigger warnings. This shouldn't be an issue but if you really dont want to see that stuff, don't follow me probably.

Sometimes people tag/dm/ask/reblog something to me and I don't respond. I'm not ghosting you, I don't hate you, you haven't done anything wrong. I am a depressed teenager with strict parents and little-to-no motivation half the time. Sorry if this bothers you but I just can't sometimes.

Please don't purposefully harass or upset me. You will be blocked and reported.

Here is a post I made about my boundaries for people coming to vent to me: link

Note about my content

Everything I say is gender neutral (e.g. dude, bro, girlie) but I will always use your preferred pronouns and be as affirming for you as possible. If you aren't okay with me referring to you with gendered words that you don't like, even ironically, just shout! I won't be upset and I will stop straight away

Everything is platonic as well. I might say things like "I love you" or a silly, sappy thing but it is completely platonic. Again, if you don't like that, I can very easily stop. I do say romantic things to Erin, but you can avoid that with a tag I mention just below this!

Sometimes I might post something rash, rude or wrong without realising. Please call me out on this sort of thing, and I'd really appreciate it if you do so calmly. I am neurodivergent, which might excuse me for posting something like that, but it won't justify it.

This blog is pretty much entirely SFW. I don't often reblog things that are NSFW (depending on your definition of NSFW, I might never have), but if I think something is even slightly inappropriate or triggering, I will tag it <3

My tags, that I will try to use (but often forget to):

Original posts: jasper did a thing

Reblogs: jasper saw a thing

Conversational reblogs: jasper is doing the speech

Asks: jasper spreads their limited wisdom

Being romantic with my partner: channel simp

What I post/interests

Stuff I like: Nature (yes! all of it... except most molluscs), music, being whimsical, understanding the world around me, being gay (and doing crimes), making other people feel happy, my dog and two rabbits, being creative, dinosaurs, geology, going exploring anywhere, big long walks, my partner, gaming, binge watching, making friends, i-will-add-to-this-list-when-i-can-think-of-stuff

Media I interact with: Legend of Zelda (specifically TOTK, BOTW and Skyward Sword), Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death, Jurassic Park/World, the Hunger Games and the Owl House, the Lord of the Rings, Gravity Falls, She-Ra, Brooklyn 99, the Good Place, Heartstopper, Doctor Who, What We Do In The Shadows, Portal, Delicious in Dungeon, Green Day, Dead Boy Detectives

Ships I interact with: Ineffable Spouses (Good Omens), Sidlink (TOTK/BOTW), Johnlock (BBC Sherlock) and BlackBonnet (OFMD), Lumity (TOH), Raeda (TOH), a bunch of other TOH ships, Farcille (DID), Kabru (DID), Payneland (DBD)

I don't always post a huge amount of some of these fandoms/ships/media, so if you plan on following me for them, maybe just have a snoop around my account for a bit first. You might find that I hardly ever interact with the content. Maybe if you prompt me to I will. The lists don't necessarily include everything I like because I don't have that memory.

On this blog you can expect posts/reblogs about the fandoms in, memes, shitposts, and just a friendly face to chat to. I love asks! I'm always happy to receive one (PLEASE send me asks I'm lonely).

Mutuals

I will add your username to a Google Sheets, where I list whether or not I can tag you in certain things. If you haven't checked it out already, please respond to this post, mutuals! It's purely for your benefit! I will try and update the document every time I get a new mutual but I don't always remember.

I hope I can add some more amazing tumblrinas to my list! The community here is delightful <33

Credits

My header image is from Pinterest images that I put together and I made my profile picture. Credit to @visceracture and @zack-agere for making the dividers in this post. Thank you!

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!

Welcome to the ask blog for the Hazbin Hotel, featuring all of the residents, along with their newest sponsors - the Vees! They're here to answer all of your questions, and might occasionally reblog things they like. Vox runs the website and handles most things around here, but the others are here too. Also me - hi, you can call me Mel (she/her), liaison between the hotel and the Vees. But I'll mostly let the others do the talking.

So, send in an ask! You can request to talk to someone specific, or someone (or multiple people) will reply at random. As I said, you can expect to see Vox the most, but Lucifer, Alastor, Charlie, and Angel Dust are all decently active here. The others might pop in on occasion.

THINGS TO KNOW

This blog is set not long after Season 1 of Hazbin Hotel. It has its own lore, and all asks exist within the same continuity. All major story arcs are tagged on the navigation page to easily keep track of plot developments.

Here you can find the rules for how the universe of this blog works.

NSFW themes are allowed, but I'm unlikely to get graphic with anything. 

Due to the nature of this, this is an 18+ blog - MINORS DNI. This is for everyone’s protection - these characters will say inappropriate things when responding to asks, so I can’t risk a minor being on the receiving end of such things. If I find out a minor is sending in asks, you will be blocked.

OCs are welcome to interact, but please no children and no one who's related to/has history with one of the characters.

Canon characters sending in asks will be treated as though they're from a different universe, since this blog has its own lore for the characters that other portrayals of the character might not fit.

RP is done through asks, not reblogs.

If you send a link, please include a brief description of what the link is to. (It can be as simple as 'an edit of Lucifer and Charlie'.) I ask this because I've been sent links to leaks, and I'd like to avoid that, so I won't open links unless I know what they are.

The majority of these characters aren't good people, so don't expect them to always be nice. (Similarly, just because a character says something doesn't mean I, the moderator, agree with it.)

I will answer most things via queue, which posts 15 times a day. There will also be exceptions, such as if the asks are connected to a current situation that’s happening, a limited time event/game, or you know, if I feel like it.

Be kind and respectful! Giving the characters a hard time is fine, but spreading hate to anyone who interacts with the blog is a blockable offense.

NAVIGATION

A navigation page can be found here, where you can find posts tagged by character and ship, as well as art, fics, and lore. 

This is also where you will find all of the story arcs in chronological order!

MODERATOR

Mel is my OC name that I go by here. She is a demon who works for Vox as a liason with the hotel, but I'll also talk about my normal life under that name. A few facts about me:

30

AuDHD

bi/ace

Married

2 Cats, 1 Dog

CST time zone

Also here is where you can find my triggers/phobias, if you could pretty please avoid sending in anything involving them - thanks!

Personal Blog -> @ineffableslytherinking AO3 -> songofhell

[salpho]

Current plans (rambles and ideas) for the DCTL redrawn project

First off, I just came up with that title on the spot and it works super well so I'll stick with that probably pffh. Follow the tag if interested in participating !! Anyways, here's my rambles.

I wanna do some more research on Chris Hastings. Fellow Bendy wiki staff have pointed out that he adapts the books rather than illustrate them, which I didn't realise had any difference beforehand. Basically means directing stuff like backgrounds, setting, etc from my knowledge. They sourced this user that seems to know a thing or two about him and his work, along with getting an early copy of the graphic novel. I'll do proper research and make a seperate post soon for this.

Moving onto the project itself, I've got some jumbled thoughts I'll try and make sense of-

I'll reread DCTL to understand the book properly, all work going foreward from there

Design work will start after this, all characters will have set, universal designs based off of canon, official (such as meatly's word), book descriptions and more, such as racecoding (I'll do justice for Thomas and Norman) and time period. I'll likely be designing them alone, but I may listen to other participant inputs and ideas to make sure they're the best they can be.

This novel will be drawn from scratch !! We won't base or reference anything off of the original graphic novel, we'll only be using the original DCTL book and its word.

Every page will act as a "map part", basically having one artist do an entire page/pages. Some may want to collaborate with others (such as one person doing the backgrounds with the other doing characters) for their pages which is more than welcome.

Newer/less skilled artists are more than welcome to offer to participate, please don't let your skill level or own perception of your art discourage you !! I'd love to give you all a chance.

I may be pinging those who said they'd be happy to participate once I make the call post. Once ready to make that post, I'll be starting a discord server for communication. This will also include a google doc or something similar so we can get full quality pages from everyone rather than compressed images from the app.

The project's novel will begin with foreword. This will include background for why it was started, clearly state it was made as a protest against the original graphic novel, Mike's view of minorities in fiction and will also state it was made because we care and love this series, and want it to do better. It will credit and link to the artist who drew the original and explain why we believe the artist was mistreated and should've had more time and pay. Stuff of that sort.

Every page will have the artist's signatures/@'s in the margins, and the novel will have a glossary of all who participated.

Things may change, we'll see, but these are the rough plans I've got so far. Would love to hear your thoughts and ideas as usual !!

[mothiepixie]

This is an Adult space ONLY.

Please do not interact with me or my account if you are a minor. Minors will be blocked.

This account will not show anything sexually explicit. But it contains suggestive and mature themes.

-------

CHECK COMMISSION PRICES HERE

Commissions Queue!

My carrd

Support me if you like!

kofi ☕️

✨My Patreon ✨🔞 only!

--------

I do NOT give permission make an AI of any of my characters nor use my artwork for them. I do NOT give permission to trace or repost my work.

--------

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ LGBTIQA+ safe and welcomed! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

🍉 FREE PALESTINE- How to help

______

MASTERPOST

(Fixed and updated, pls use links below ⤵

◽ 1 ◽ 2 ◽ 3 ◽ 4 ◽

Do's& Don'ts, FAQ Below

I do not do yn x canon content. Asks pertaining to yn x canon content will be discarded!

I'm only interested in creating content of my OCs x canon.

Be ⚠️ warned ⚠️:

Some of my content may include dealing of drugs/drug abuse, depression, past abuse and possessiveness. There will be possible depiction of wounds, blood, violence and fictional murder. It will be tagged.

If any of my content makes you uncomfortable feel free to block me and stay safe.

Do's and Don'ts:

An indication you're an adult must be visible for me to interact with you!

Commissions or tips are the only way I will draw if you are not a mutual, of my own device, or friend.

please don't ask content of pregnancies. I will not draw Motti pregnant, giving birth or talk about pregnancy related content.

Some related asks for your info ⤵️:

SOME Sanses will want kids, not all will. Passive cannot have children, he's infertile. Motti doesn't want kids in most AUs.

Please be advise I am not aware of every UTAU or its creators. I cannot draw them all or may not get into them, so please don't ask.

Also please DO NOT tag me on other's content to show me.

Please ask permission to dub my comics. I can revoke my permission at any given time and for any reason.

Can I ship my oc/myself with Boysen, Crust, any other of your skellies variants or Motti?

I don't mind you ship yourself or your ocs with the skellies. But please be respectful and don't do anything immoral with them.

I don't mind answering asks about the skellies height, appearance or use of my art, but I won't answer asks that involved how they would treat a partner that isn't Motti. That falls in YN content and as stated at the start of this pin I don't do yn x canon content.

Please do not ship yourself with Motti. Motti is only for close friends. Don't draw NSFW of Motti unless I gave permission.

If permitted: Please do not draw Motti in situations where she cannot consent: i.e: drunk, non-con, coercion. It will result in a block.

FAQ:

Do you do Art Requests?

No. I don't really have the mental capacity to take on requests. What free time I have, I draw art for myself or friends.

Do you do Art Commissions?

I do! I usually make an announcement when they're open and how many slots. I provide a google form to be filled out. I do not take commission inquires through DMs or Asks. Check my Bio or Badge for when I'm open.

Failure to comply to my TOS will result in a blacklist.

⛔️I refuse to draw inc3st, loli/shota, non-con or hateful content. ⛔️

Do you go by Mothie or Motti?

I go by Mothie! You can find my sona here

Motti is my main muse and separate from me.

What are your pronouns?

My pronouns are They/them/fae/she.

Questions about Motti!

What are Motti's pronouns and sexual orientation?

Motti goes by she/they. She is Demisexual/Pansexual.

Is there different versions of Motti?

Consider each AU I dabble in as a different Motti, but they are essentially the same person/personality. I won't always draw a different design for Motti or take away her key features.

Can I write/incorporate Motti in my fics?

It's friends and close mutuals only. I am not comfortable with people I don't know writing/using Motti like that.

AS LONG AS YOU ARE 18+ AND CLEARLY STATE YOU'RE AN ADULT INTERACTING WITH ME, YOU CAN DO THE FOLLOWING BELOW:

Can I make fanart/fanfic of your ocs?

Yes!

Can I draw your Sans designs?

Yes!

Other Questions:

Do you have other socials?

Yes, I do. But they show explicit content so you have been warned ⚠️. Tumblr's nsfw rules are more restricted and thus account will only show suggestive themes. Minors not welcomed!

If you are a person who does not like explicit content, but doesn't mind suggestive content; this acc will be your safe place.

[lostinforestbound]

Happy 100 followers! I can't believe there's 100 of you so interested in my silly little writings, I am so so grateful! As promised, here is a little fic of comforting Rolan! I wish we were able to hug him in game, but this will have to do!

Rolan/M!Tav

You're Not Alone, You Will See

Tav swears Rolan hasn't slept in their shared bed for weeks at this point, and he's getting very concerned for him. Why won't he sleep? He needs to find out or he'll collapse where he stands.

Word Count: 3.3k (AO3)

Relevant Tags: Explicit, Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Tav's POV, Mentions of Lorroakan

NSFW under cut, Minors DNI

Night has long been spread across the city of Baldur's Gate, where the world is now asleep. Silence carries along the perfect night; no wind rustles the trees or whistles along the windows, no banter of drunken patrons fighting in the streets, and the sky is clear, letting the stars bloom.

The world is asleep, all except for Tav and Rolan.

Bored out of his mind, Tav stares at the ceiling as the moonlight shines through the large windows of his and Rolan's shared bedroom. He can't sleep at all, because once again, Rolan is not in bed with him.

Rolan's side of the bed is very cold when he feels around it, the sheets and blanket are not ruffled by one hair. He didn't even sit on it today, which is already concerning in itself. He knows his lover has been busy, being the new master of Ramazith's tower, but what could he possibly be doing this late at night? What has his mind so consumed that he couldn't lay with his partner after a long day? He knows Rolan has been having difficulty sleeping as of late, but this is getting ridiculous.

So with a small huff, he sits up, bones popping quietly in his shoulders and back as he stretches. He’ll have to go find him in the depths of the tower, it seems.

Shuffling out of the bed, he finds his red robe to get into, not wanting to shiver in the cold air inside their home. The robe was a gift from Rolan, thrust into his hands by him after lecturing the hero about only walking around in his undergarments. The indecency, he cried! But Tav saw how flustered his face was during the berating, and he did his best not to laugh at Rolan's embarrassment.

A fonder memory of Rolan that makes him smile, even if the event was only a few weeks ago. He slides on the slippers Rolan gave him as well; they're high quality and incredibly soft. They came with the robe, Rolan saying the floors are dirty, and why in the hells is he walking around barefoot anyways?

Laughing lightly at the memory, he finds a short candle on the bedside table and lights it up; he doesn't want to walk anywhere too blindly. He exits the room, walking down the long hall as he thinks where Rolan could be. There is no reason to be too worried, but he is nonetheless. As much as they made this tower their home, including Cal and Lia who have their very own section in the tower, he has noticed Rolan being...closed off. Not on purpose, and not in front of him or his siblings, but there's something about the tower that makes his lover a bit uneasy, and he can guess the reason why. He sees the way his mood shifts when he thinks he's alone, staring in the general direction where Lorroakan used to reside.

It doesn’t take long to find him, in the middle of his study hunching over his desk. From what he can tell, he’s looking at a few papers along with a book; but he’s staring at it as if it’s a new language that needs years to decipher, a sense of absolute dread in his posture. There’s clear exhaustion on his features, dark circles under his eyes as he rubs at his temples as if that would get rid of his current headache.

This has been happening for weeks after Lorroakan’s death. Time and time again he’s reorganized tomes, cleaned the space, put in new furniture, and even got an entirely new bed for them both. It never seemed enough. He could never tell Tav why it wasn’t enough. He didn’t have the words to describe it.

But Tav does vividly remember waking in their bed, seeing Rolan's pillow torn into by his claws while the man slept. It quickly got replaced, but he refused to acknowledge and talk about it, so Tav left it alone.

Now here he is, slaving away to understand the same tome he was trying to decipher for three nights now, doing everything he can but actually sleep in his own bed.

As Tav slowly approaches, he wonders if he’s doing this to himself on purpose. Is there something haunting him? Why does he torture himself so?

He makes his steps louder to make sure Rolan is aware of his presence before putting his free hand on his shoulder. He feels his shoulders tense under the touch before relaxing, not protesting when a thumb lightly massages the base of his skull. “My love, is this book so important that you can’t join me in bed?” He asks, leaning in close by his left ear to examine the papers.

“It’s been three nights, and I can’t figure it out.” He murmurs, sounding more defeated than he’s ever heard. It makes Tav’s heart hurt, knowing that he’s struggling.

The papers strewn about confuse him as he takes in their contents; Rolan's notes make absolutely no sense. His writing is erratic and unfinished as if every thought was abandoned for a new one in rapid succession.

He puts the candle down on the desk and leans against his lover's back. “Maybe, just maybe, it’s because you’re tired?”

He huffs in annoyance, rubbing at his eyes with his thumb and index finger.

“Rolan, you haven’t been to bed in weeks. I’ve seen you sleep in odd places. The doorway, the desk, the floor…what’s going on with you?”

He sees the way Rolan bites his lip, golden eyes trailing the pages in front of him but not truly reading them. His lover opens his mouth as if to make an excuse, but nothing ever comes out. While he's distracted, Tav gently folds a blank piece of paper that he finds in the mess on the desk, tucking it on the page Rolan's currently on and shutting the tome.

“We don’t have to talk about it now, just come to bed.”

He starts to protest with a clenched jaw, almost insulted by it as if the book is more important. “But- This is-“

“Rolan, please? I miss holding you.” He whispers, kissing the back of his head.

He sighs heavily, exhaustion setting deep into his bones as he runs his fingers through his hair. “Fine.”

The scowl on his face softens as Tav pecks his cheek, encouraging him with a pull of his hand to stand up. He does so without a fuss, hand oddly tight around Tav's.

Tav sees Rolan wince at the echo of their footsteps, and part of the action disturbs him. He's never seen him shrink so much at a sound, and he wonders what is going on inside his head. For him, he picks up the pace a little, pretending he wants to go to bed badly.

He kisses the top of his hand before settling on top of their bed. Rolan looks as though he's about to make an excuse to not lie down, so he spreads his legs and speaks up, "Let me give you a massage."

"This time of- why?" Rolan questions incredulously.

"You're slouching. You might have some tension. Let me?"

After some reluctance, he settles between Tav's legs, and Tav begins to press his thumbs between his shoulder blades. The amount of knots he finds is almost amazing, and part of him wants to chastise Rolan for letting it get this bad, but now is not the time. For every knot, he carefully kneads the bundle until it's completely gone before moving to the next one. Sometimes Rolan's tail flicks in irritation, most likely at the temporary pain, before it falls limply when the knot fades.

He's unsure how much time passes since it's already deep into the night, but eventually, he makes it through all the knots he can. Rolan is relaxed back against his chest, and he sees the rise and fall of his own with his slow breathing. Without thinking, his hands slide to the front of his chest, feeling along the ridges that decorate it. Rolan's breath stutters under the caresses, the tip of his tail flicking back in forth as it slaps against the bedding. He smiles against the skin on the back of his neck, trailing his hands over the soft swell of his stomach and to his groin. He palms the growing erection, making Rolan inhale sharply, and he worries that he misread what Rolan wanted.

That was until Rolan grinds into his hand with a shuddering sigh, eyes half-lidded with a flush forming on his tired face. “Please,” He begs quietly, eyes weary.

How could he say no?

He looks so beautiful like this, even with the exhaustion on his features.

"Lay down," he whispers.

As Tav gets out of bed, Rolan complies by scooting down to lay against the pillows, getting comfortable. Confusion paints his features when Tav grabs an extra pillow and puts it under his hips, but the unspoken question dies on his tongue as Tav kisses him. Their lips easily glide together, and Tav takes his time removing his clothes during. Rolan just lets him do all the work. In all honesty, he looks too tired to do much. Based on the nervous look when he pulls away, it seems he's worried that it'll turn Tav off, but he gives him a reassuring smile as he shucks off his robe and undergarments.

Rolan obediently opens his mouth for Tav when he leans to kiss him again, letting his tongue slide in and tangle with his. He feels Rolan wrap his arms around his neck, keeping him as close as possible as Tav explores his mouth, running his tongue along the sharp teeth that adorn there. The first time they'd kissed like this, Tav cut the muscle on the teeth, and Rolan immediately pulled away when he tasted blood. He couldn't kiss him like that for a while and he idly wondered if Rolan would have not reacted the way he did if Tav was also a tiefling.

Enough of that, he's getting distracted.

Rolan spreads his legs as Tav grabs a vial of oil from the side of the bed, uncorking it with his teeth and pouring it onto two fingers. Rolan instinctively tenses when he feels a finger gently massaging his entrance, but never breaching. Circling it one, twice, three times. Tav always had to tease him a little bit, but he gently kisses his brow as he finally sinks into him by the first knuckle.

Pathetically, Rolan lets out a groan, quickly biting his lip afterward. They haven’t done this in weeks, but just from this, he can see he’s already half-hard. He probably didn’t even have time to get off recently, he was so focused on his work in the tower.

It only encourages Tav to make this even better.

His finger sinks in further to the second knuckle, searching for that little bundle of nerves inside of him. He knows he finds it when Rolan cries out, his tail wrapping around his arm tight. He grins, pushing in the second finger, and continues to press against his prostate. Tav swallows his moans with his mouth, scissoring him open and getting him ready. As much as he may want to torture Rolan a little by dragging it out, it’s been a while, and it’s not one of those nights.

Though, the fact that there's no witty banter this time around worries him. Rolan is the type to tease, provoke, and sass him even during the most vulnerable moments of intimacy. He has a few working theories of why he does it; the vulnerability can be uncomfortable sometimes, so he speaks to calm himself down. He could be genuinely having fun with him, the banter that they have relaxing him. Or the simplest of all, he could just be a very talkative person.

Rolan has barely spoken, and it scares him.

He takes it as slow as he can, slicking his cock and guilding it to Rolan's hole. Pressing his tip into his entrance, he goes inch by inch and quietly moans at the tightness of his twitching rim. He has to stop for a moment when Rolan clenches around him, vision blurring slightly at the heat of it all. Tieflings run pretty hot, and somehow he struggles to remember that; it surprises him every time, without fail.

"Gods you're so tight," he breathes out slowly, leaning down to kiss his chest. Nails grip his hair as he licks one of his nipples, lavishing the sensitive nub with his tongue before sucking it into his mouth. Rolan keens high in his throat, wrapping his legs around Tav's waist as he tries to spear himself more onto his cock. Tav does not let him, gripping his hips almost harshly and holding him in place. If he tries that again, this would all be over too soon.

Rolan gives him a weak glare before tilting his head back with a moan, Tav fully seating himself inside him. He tries to control his breathing, but it fails when Tav does a test roll; he knows he's hitting all the right places by the way his body spasms.

Tav stares down at him in a calm awe, grinding some more while he takes Rolan’s jaw in his free hand. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”

He sees how Rolan's cock throbs at the praise, and how he can no longer make eye contact. Tav kisses him either way, albeit a little urgently as he finally starts thrusting into him.

Rolan's hair fans out over his pillow as his head tilts back further, and Tav strains his neck a bit to follow him. His face is debauched in ways Tav can never describe, and he is mesmerized by it. How can someone have such a perfect, flushed, fucked-out face? He can't help but hold his freckled face, needing a closer look.

"You're perfect, so good for me, my love." He whispers against his lips, wanting to see every little reaction he can pull from his lover.

Rolan's eyes get very teary, either from the words or the overwhelming pleasure he feels, he's not sure. His voice shudders as he glances away, unable to keep eye contact. "That's- hah- k-keep talking."

"You are the most amazing person I know. No one ever compares to you; not in looks, smarts, or ambition. I want to give you everything- fuck- you are my everything, and so much more. Gods, look at you..." He murmurs, softening his hold and cupping his face more tenderly. "I'm so thankful I'm the only one who gets to see you like this."

He didn’t expect Rolan to start crying.

At first, he’s instantly filled with dread, and his mind races to figure out what he did wrong. Did he say something he didn't like? Did he hurt him? Did this not feel good? Does he want to stop?

Before he could pull away and ask him, Rolan holds himself tight against him as he digs his heels into his lower back.

“Don’t stop, please don't stop, please please please-“ He sobs, nails raking across his shoulder blades and leaving angry red welts behind.

Instinctively, Tav cradles him close as he picks up the pace, letting him hide into the juncture between his neck and shoulder. Rolan sinks his teeth into Tav’s shoulder in an attempt to quiet his moans and cries, the mix of emotions and pleasure almost stunning him. He’s a whimpering mess, the muscles of his abdomen clenching tight before he finally shouts out, his spend decorating the expanse of his and Tav's stomachs with his voice completely shattered.

"Rolan-" He groans out, hips faltering in their pace briefly before he buries himself deep inside him, filling him up to the brim.

It takes him almost too long to come back to himself, drenched in sweat and pressing his forehead into Rolan's collarbones. He mindlessly kisses his sternum as the pleasurable fog clears, running his hand soothingly along his lover's hip bone.

Tav carefully pulls out with a slight grimace, looking down at Rolan’s glazed eyes as he tries to catch his breath. He pecks his forehead, about to move away, but Rolan clings to him. He’s still sobbing and weakly tugging him closer. Obliging, Tav pulls him into his body, littering kissing across his face even as the tears keep coming. He doesn't comment on it, only whispering sweet nothings as he soothes him. He will most likely be embarrassed about it later, but for now, Rolan accepts the praises.

His grip tightens when Tav tries to get up again.

“I just want to clean you up. Is that okay?”

Rolan sniffs, reluctantly letting him go.

He makes his movements as quick as possible, snatching up a clean cloth and some water for him. With a quiet plea, and encourages Rolan to sit up and drink some of it, which he thankfully does as Tav gently wipes down their fluids off of them. They will have to clean the sheets in the morning, but for now, this will do just fine.

Soon they lay together once more, Rolan hiding in Tav’s neck as the tears finally dry. “…I’m tired.”

"I know. Sleep.”

"No, not like that. I'm...I'm really tired." He murmurs, almost inaudible.

Tav hums quietly in acknowledgment, nuzzling the side of his face. So depression decided to strike him recently, huh? That's okay, he will be here for him.

"I'm tired of feeling like a fool," he continues after a moment of silence.

"That tome has you this wrapped up?"

"The more I try to decipher, the more it becomes utterly jumbled. How am I supposed to be the master of the damn tower if I can't decipher a damn book, with a guide?"

"...This isn't just about the tome, is it?"

"Lorroakan could decipher an entire book within hours." He bitterly states.

There it is.

"Your nightmares are back." Tav says matter of factly, gaze softening, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"The contents of the nightmares were idiotic at best. I didn't- I thought-" He takes a quick breath before sighing it out. "They're ridiculous. I shouldn't be so affected by them."

"But you are, Rolan."

"He's dead. I won." He hisses out, ready to bare his teeth.

"Yet here you are, trying not to cry at the mere mention of him," he says, not unkindly. "It's only been a few weeks. None of us expect you to be okay right away."

"I should be."

"Rolan, I would be more worried if it didn't affect you."

He scoffs but buries his face deeper into his neck, and Tav feels the wetness of tears running down his skin once more. Tav sighs slowly to calm himself first, then speaks to him again.

"I love you," he murmurs, taking one of his hands in his and squeezing. "And I adore you. You mean a lot to me, and you mean a lot to Cal and Lia. Let us help you."

Rolan doesn't say another word, but the way he squeezes his hand back speaks volumes to him. It doesn't take him long to fall asleep exactly where he is, as if his body finally realized it wasn't in danger anymore. It is within minutes, and it's the fastest he's ever seen Rolan fall asleep.

Kissing his sweat-streaked brow, he fully relaxes into the bed and stays with him. The contents of Rolan's nightmares are a mystery to him for now, and while he can guess all night what they were about this time, he's too exhausted to think.

For now, he will sleep with his lover and hope they will be able to talk in the morning.

"You're not alone, and you will see that, love. One day." Tav whispers.

[can-i-explode-now]

Please don't send me donation asks, they just stress me out. How clear do I need to fucking make this? I've gotten more since I added this.

Apparently intro posts are important on here so might as well

Hi! I'm Cassandra! You can call me Andy or Cass. (I also go by Tilly) That's not my real name, but it is what I'd like to be called on here! I used to go by Ozzie on here but I'm trying to stop doing that, since I don't really think it fits me.

I use any pronouns but mainly xe/xem, she/her and it/its!

I'm sapphic-oriented aroace! 💙🩵🤍💛🧡

I am a minor.

I like a lot of things, but I mostly post about Hermitcraft and the life series.

I'm a swiftie. I don't care if you don't like Taylor Swift as long as you don't be a dick about it.

My cat, Bramble is the mascot of @aroacesafeplaceforall

I don't do chain messages/asks. They're received, I just can't be assed.

Warning; If you don't like dark humour you probably won't like me.

I'm autistic.

Where else you can find me

@magical-thinking-magical-realism - General Writing Content

@theforetoldsideblog - OC Content

@brambles-twigs - The Bramble Cult

AO3

Pronouns Page

My RP blogs - @its-xornoth-bitch @ocean-queen-official, @greatwitch-shelby, @scarlet-pearl-moon @katherine-of-house-blossom, @demigodofstratos, @masked-slab, @gemini-stonee and @ask-aeor

I'm @/nothowthedamagegetsdone on Instagram but I'm not very active on there. I have another account but that's linked to me irl so I won't be sharing it

Profile Credits

Lesbian and agender dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Aroace divider by @quantumboogaloo

Header and pfp by @nuno-draws

My tags

#I want garlic bread - I tag everything with this

#*Spontaneously combusts* - absolute nonsense. Anything in this tag is complete bullshit

#Racconfriend - posts about my best friend, who for privacy reasons we're calling Raccoon

#Hat girl - posts about my other best friend, who for privacy reasons we're calling hat girl (she is now on Tumblr @hat-gurl)

#Kittykid - posts about my little sister, including but not limited to the Daily Kitty Quote (it's not daily but I try)

#desktop post - posts made on my laptop. may be missing my usual grammar (this was added on the laptop)

#mcyt screenshots - self explanatory, but if you want more context, take a look at this post

#the scrambled egg saga - apparently I'm weird for putting milk in scrambled egg and cooking them in a microwave. This is the posts related to all that.

#TWIGGY CONTENT - content relating to me and @ratlivesonblog's child Twiggy (pictured below)

Ok, I think that's it.

[gatheredfates]

It's been a little while since I've prompted my server! With Sea's Community Compendium not needing an update this week (unless...?), I thought it might be the perfect opportunity. ⭐

What is SEAFLOOR?

SEAFLOOR's purpose is two-pronged! The first focuses solely on my community projects including, but not limited to; Compendium support, question-drive updates, miscellaneous resources and other bits and bobs. We also have dedicated channels for user sourced/submitted content including:

Resources, prompts and commissions! Every time I see a commission post, gpose prompts or resources that I think will benefit the community at large (especially if it doesn't fit in the Compendium due to time constraints), I'll add it there.

An affirmations channel! Exactly what it says on the tin. You can link positive words and encouragement to people and they can look in the channel if they need a boost.

Fics, drabbles & asks! If you want to promote your writing/work, especially from my question drive, you can do that there.

There are also a few channels specific to the social role.

An events channel! I try to link any upcoming events I see on the dash, though event owners can promote their own specific venues if they want.

Character profiles for RP and writing!

GPosing, LFG and modding discussions. ✨

The second purpose is what's implied above — a social aspect! I struggle with a lot of one on one conversations, so this server lets me reach out to lots of people without the pressure of missing messages. You do not need to join the social aspect to have access to my projects. It is entirely optional and there for people who want to say hi or meet other people in the community. If you just want to be pinged when a question drive is open or I have updated the Compendium, you're more than welcome to utilise the server just for that.

However, because of my time constraints, I have a series of rules that must be adhered to in order for people to participate fully in SEAFLOOR. Though they're explored in more depth in the server, the main crux are below —

SEAFLOOR is adults-only, 21+. This is entirely because I don't have the time to moderate a server that is friendly towards minors and I generally don't allow them in my space. This is for my own comfort, sorry! You're still welcome to utilise my projects.

As this is a server for adults, I expect you to act like adults. This includes, but is not limited to; enacting your own media literacy in muting, blocking and disengaging with people/topics you don't like; doing your due diligence to protect yourself and others with proper content warnings, spoiler tagging and triggers; keeping to Discord's ToS and respecting people's boundaries and privacy. If I have to moderate, I will be harsh in implementation because I don't have the time for it. Like all my projects, if it becomes too much of a chore or detrimental for my mental health, I will delete it without hesitation. This might be a 'public' server, but it is still my server. I won't hesitate.

In sum: 'Be excellent to each other'. Treat others how you want to be treated, don't start discourse and sort your shit in private. Use your common sense and don't be creepy/weird.

If this sounds like something that might be up your alley, you can give the server a shot here! There's a lot of fun, supportive people and I really enjoy the little community that's been cultivated. I hope you will too!

[the-wolfbats]

Thoughts on the Redwall Series overall 

What started as a walk down memory lane ended up being a multi month reading project. With notes!

A lot of how these books are stereotyped is not true. Only a handful of them end in Babies Ever After. There may be a riddle or a poem but it's not taking up most of the story.

The lack of immediate continuity after book 6 is a little sad but it gives a real sense of time to things, which I like. The Lord of Mossflower exists in Mattimeo, but hundreds of years later in Loamhedge, it doesn't. Brockhall is rediscovered twice! That’s kind of what I liked about Mistmantle, it was only 5 books but there were enough characters that yes, some became parents, but the young ones didn’t. It’s only at the end of the series where some even get married, and it’s not EVERY animal.

Until I reread these, I didn't look at these from the point of anti-colonialization. But, yeah it's THE recurring theme.   

colonizers (vermin) are harassing the people who already live there. Who are native to the land. They're trying to enslave or kill them.  

They're trying to take over either redwall, or mossflower, or basically any place mentioned. 

There is a minor fighting force but the majority just want to chill. A few outliers exist because they've lost families or communities. And they get stopped. This book series is essentially a minimally colonized world.

 Green Isle is a colonized area where the indigenous population fights back and eventually succeeds. Mossflower is eventually freed from the Greeneyes. 

Rhulain and Taggerung come at this from different angles, and while both are hampered by the series structure a bit, enough good shines through. (I lurked the r/Redwall subreddit and a lot of people seem to dislike Taggerung, maybe they were thinking about it from my angle initially - see my thoughts on Taggerung post in my Redwall tag for how my mind was changed).

There's also the heavy religion (Western Christianity) parallels which is why so many conservative kids and young adults attached themselves to this series. And yet they miss major parts of the entire concept. Ah well. 

 I did find it tiresome that as soon as a maid is mentioned to be pretty she's going to be the wife of the male protagonist. They all prove capable and varied but the immediate reaction of pretty is tiring. Note how Mariel is never referred to as pretty by Dandin, and they don't get married but remain partners presumably through their lives. Doomwyte is terrible about this. Come to think of it, Rogue Crew is like a homage but is done much better than Doomwyte, and it works on expanding the world in ways  we never get to see officially :( Maybe we should work on it ourselves. We could do that.

While the squirrels have no subculture, the shrews only have a subculture (arguably two worth pygmy shrews) There's not lone shrews simply existing outside of Redwall or the Guosim. 

Any headcanons about things in story?

I choose to believe Martha spent a time as Abbess after Fenna died. She would be the only noted hare ruler of Redwall. 

There was a squirrel society in Mossflower but it eventually migrated to the area where Sunflash and Skarlath stayed the winter with the mole and hedgehog families.

What books were your favorite?

I've ranked them in groups of 5 of published order (or in the case of the last 2, just 2.) 

*Lord Brocktree was my favorite as a child and frankly it’s still enjoyable. I won't include it in any ranking to keep it fair. 

The Pleasant Surprises

Loamhedge (probably bc I listened to the audiobook. I liked how there was quite a mournful tone throughout, from going to a place full of life to a dead Abbey.)

Eulalia!

The Long Patrol

Martin The Warrior (while it felt a bit long, it was so nice to see a different side of the continent. It wasn't just Mossflower.)

Taggerung.

The Rogue Crew

Side note; I’d love to see someone superimpose the map of some of the books on others. Like where did Martin wander in his book with Grumm, the hedgehog, and Rose compared to the Patrol in The Rogue Crew? He was born on the northern shores - are they the same shores as the Crew? 

The Disappointments

High Rhulain - It’s just not interesting outside of what Green Isle existing implies.

Mariel of Redwall - I think he got better at writing female characters, and it’s not as if Mariel is awful - she’s fairly well rounded, being headstrong and angry as well as needing support - her personality is just kind of There.

Half of the Bellmaker. The part with Southward is dull as dishwater the part with the seafaring is almost enjoyable. The Redwall part is, oddly, the best part.

The one with more than meets the eye lorewise 

High Rhulain 

The one with the best songs 

Loamhedge (the spring song)

High Rhulain (the honeybee song and the calling of the clans)

Marlfox (Mother Nature Dear)

The Long Patrol (over the hills)

Lord Brocktree (a hare is a marvelous creature)

The Rogue Crew (The song Lancejack Sage sings at the funeral)

The best

Mice: Rose, Lycian, Nimbalo

Hare: Maudie, Dottie, Boorab, Martha, Rockjaw

Squirrels: Fwirl, Song, Doogy 

Shrews: Basically all of ‘em, if I had to name one, Flib, if I had to name two, Dandy

Moles: again, most of ‘em. Though it’s funny how they’re championed as beings with good sense, but apparently not good enough sense to ever be elected as Abbott or Abbess.

Hedgehogs: The family of theatrical troupe hedgehogs in Sable Quean, Tansy, Posy

Otter: Mhera, Kroova, Skor, Ruggan, and Swiffo

Birds: Orocca and Tauroc, any bird from the North, Rocangus and MacTalon

Moles: any of the mole Dibbuns. 

Badgers: Sunflash, Cregga, Brocktree 

Major antagonists: the fractured groups of the Juskarath, Tsarmina, Ungatt Trunn, Slagar, Raga Bol, Razzid Wearat.

There was probably going to be more but I got a concussion and forgot

[pdid-culture-is]

Ello! Welcome to P-DID culture is! This is a safe place for beings with P-DID to share their experiences, because I can almost never find anything for P-DID,and if they're included it's more of an afterthought.

Submission rules:

No syscourse, this blog is supposed to be neutral on that. Talking about how syscourse has affected you is fine, but no genuine syscourse, that will be deleted.

Nothing explicitly NSFW, the system running this is bodily a minor. Somewhat suggestive is fine along with more dirty jokes. Cursing is also fine, but I will tag it accordingly.

If you have potentially triggering things in your post, label them at the top. If you don't know exactly what it would be, I'll tag it (unless I don't know either, then I'll probably just put ask to tag)

Vague 'posting' is okay, but don't tell others to harass them and don't drop names.

Anon tags

👁 anon

💎 anon

🩻 anon

🧼 anon

🍩🍬 anon

💛 anon

👽🦷 anon

😈 anon

🥚🍳 anon

📔🪽 anon

🐍🍮 anon

☎️⭐️ anon

🐇 anon

🐞 anon

🍬 anon

DNI:

Basis DNI criteria, conservative, Zionist, Pro contact for harmful paraphilias, talk about God a lot, heavily religious, Christian themed blog (no hate, it just makes us uncomfortable), Radqueer, Proship or any variants, syscourse blog, against contradictory labels and good faith labels, use R/FDC and R/Systemscringe unironically and actually post others there, against self DX, Billdip and Mabill shippers (makes everyone uncomfortable especially our Bill fictive)

Tagging

Culture is asks will be tagged with "PDID culture is"

Asks that don't fall under that are "Not PDID culture is"

When it's me, the host answering them it will be tagged #🐕answers, Bill is #⚠️answers, Springtrap is #🐇answers, Darkstalker is #🌕🐉 answers, when we don't know is just #🫥answers, the talking tags are the same just with talking instead of answers but Springtrap doesn't get one right now because as far as we're aware he can't speak and doesn't want to type, this might change

(We pretty much only go co-con but Bill might want to comment more than Theo and will probably respond in caps so just clarification on why we're responding in the way we are)

Also, we won't always comment on your submissions but we might if we have similar experiences we want to share or something else

[writingforstraykids]

Be nice

Pairing: Minchan

Word Count: 2983

Summary: Sometimes, Chan helping him out isn't what Minho wants, and this time, they get into a fight. Later that day they talk but it never stays at that with them...

Warnings/Tags: angst, minor fight, fluff, lots of kisses, teasing, smut, top!chan, bottom!minho

Minho stares at the ceiling, wondering if Chan would join him at some point tonight. The lights of passing cars illuminate the room, and the continuous sound of raindrops hitting the bedroom window calms him slowly. He hates getting into fights, especially with Chan. His boyfriend was a sweetheart, but when he got mad, everyone else felt like hiding and let him deal with it. Which was exactly what had happened today. 

Six hours earlier 

Minho scrolled through his phone as his stylist made the last adjustments to today's outfit. They'd be giving an interview soon, and he was a little nervous since it would be in English once again. Understanding wasn't the problem, but the time his brain needed to process the information and grasp some words together for an answer was simply too long. He hated it, wishing he could participate more, and Chan knew how upset he could get because of it. Nevertheless, he had repeatedly told him that he'd take over the Japanese, becoming more fluent than the rest. One of their staff members came up to him, and Minho greeted him politely. 

"The company feels like you're going to be left behind with all those English interviews coming up." 

"Sorry?" Minho asked, confused. "I'm here, aren't I?" 

"Yes, but a lot of this promotion is focused on English, so we need you to open up more," he told him. 

"What's going on?" Chan asked, strolling over as he saw the utter confusion on Minho's face. The staff member repeated himself for Chan, who frowned. "Why? You're not pressuring any of the others who struggle with that either." 

"Well, they try, at least. Everyone knows they won't get any new bits of information from him, though," he told them, and Chan glanced at Minho, whose face fell. "We need you to try at least." 

Minho was hurt by that because everyone knew how much he struggled with it. Nevertheless, this was his job, and he knew he had to put in some work to excel. "Okay," he nodded quietly. 

Chan placed his hand on his lower back and shook his head. "There's no need to pressure him like that. You all know I always try to include him."

"You may be the leader, but you're not the babysitter," he told him, and Minho closed his eyes in defeat, knowing Chan would be pissed now. 

"It's okay, I'll try harder. I'm sorry," he said, and Chan opened his mouth to protest. "Just let it be, please," Minho said before stepping away from them and sitting down on the sofa next to Felix. 

"What's going on?" Felix asked gently, but Minho didn't get to answer as Chan came over. 

"Why don't you stand up for yourself?" he asked, and Minho stared at him blankly. 

"You're serious right now? You do know your position as the leader is a little more secure than mine, right?" he asked defensively. 

"They're not gonna kick you out just because you tell them to fuck off once in a while," he said. 

"I got kicked before, didn't I?" he gave back and grabbed his phone. "Just stop, they're right you're not my babysitter, Chan, I can handle it." 

Chan huffed. "You're right. I'm your boyfriend, and I'm there when you're in trouble." 

Minho contorted his face. "It wouldn't have been a problem if you didn't waltz in and take over once again." 

"Now it's my fault they're telling you that stuff?" Chan asked, offended. 

"Chan. That's not what I said, and you know it," Minho sighed before pushing himself up. "Stop, okay? It's embarrassing." 

Chan stared after him as Minho left their room and closed the door a little too loudly. He took a deep breath before following him outside. Minho was leaning against the opposite wall, nervously fidgeting with his hands. "Min, come on," he said softly. 

Minho closed his eyes in defeat and shook his head. "I mean it; you're not making things easier. I know I'm shit at it, but you defending me for being shit at it makes it even more obvious."

"I was trying to help, okay? That's all," Chan said. 

"I don't want your help, okay?" Minho told him. "I love you, Channie, but I have to figure out some things on my own. Stop hovering." 

Chan looked at him for a long moment before going back inside. Minho sighed, knowing he was beyond pissed now. 

This time, Chan didn't mention him once or ask any questions to include him. He kept his distance during the game they played, and once they were done, Chan packed up his stuff. "We're going home," he told him firmly, and Minho blinked at him surprised. 

"I thought we were getting dinner with the -," he asked, but Chan's firm look made him stop. "I suppose not, then," he said, grabbing his bag. 

The others watched them nervously as Chan opened the door and let Minho out first, who waved at them with a halfhearted smile. As soon as the door closed, Minho turned toward him. "You're an asshole." 

"Excuse me?" Chan asked firmly, gently pushing him in the right direction, and kept walking next to him. 

"Why would you spoil our group dinner just because you're pissed at me? They were looking forward to it all week. I was looking forward to it." he said. 

"You're a grownup, you can still go," he shrugged, and Minho stopped walking. 

"You know what? Maybe that's a good idea," he told him. "Because you're being ridiculous right now, and I'd rather enjoy my evening instead of hiding until you calmed down." 

"Great, fuck off then," Chan said, not noticing the tears shimmering in Minho's eyes. Minho didn't answer and dropped his bag to his feet before turning on the spot and returning inside. Chan rolled his eyes and grabbed the bag before leaving. “Fucks sake,” he cursed.

Jisung watched him worriedly as he stepped inside. "You're okay?" 

"Not really, but that's between me and Chan," Minho told him, accepting the hug he offered. If there was one thing that he cared about, it was not pulling the others into their disagreements. Their relationship shouldn't weigh heavy on the group mentality. 

Two hours earlier 

Minho came back later that night, waving Changbin goodbye, who had driven him home. He sighed softly as he pulled the door close behind himself and slowly walked into the living room, spotting Chan on the sofa. "Hi," he said quietly. 

"Hey," he said, not looking up. 

"You should've come, it was fun," Minho told him gently, trying to make peace. 

"It wouldn't have been with me hovering," Chan said sourly. 

Minho nodded more to himself. "Okay," he whispered, putting his keys on the kitchen table. "How long?" 

"What?" Chan asked, irritated. 

"How long do you need until you can look at me again and talk to me without being pissed off?" he asked calmly. It wasn't meant as an insult or tease but to check his boundaries. 

Chan put his phone down and stared at him, a little startled. "What?" 

Minho closed his eyes for a moment, reminding himself to stay calm. There was no use in exploding and triggering Chan's response even more. "Listen, love," he says very gently. "I had an amazing evening, and I don't intend to ruin my mood with another unnecessary fight. I missed you there, okay?" 

"Why? I thought you don't want a babysitter?" Chan said before he could think it through. 

Hurt filled Minho's eyes as he grabbed his keys from the table. "Now you're just being mean," he told him, clearly disappointed, and made his way upstairs. 

Chan groaned at himself and leaned back into the sofa, rubbing his face. 

Now

Chan still sits on the sofa, unsure if Minho would like him to join him tonight. By now, Chan knows Minho has every right to be disappointed, and deep down, he knows he didn't mean any harm telling him to back off a little. He is still hungry and craving that amazing noodle dish, Minho made them a few days ago. But now is hardly the time to ask him for it, having no idea how he made it. 

He looks up as Minho slowly comes down the stairs, his breath hitching when he sees him. Minho is wearing nothing but boxers and a shirt he lent him, his hair framing his face beautifully. Chan is once more reminded of how effortlessly beautiful Minho is at all times. Minho's eyes meet his, and the world seems to stand still for a moment. "Min, I'm sorry," Chan says softly. 

Minho walks past him into the kitchen and pours himself a glass of water. Chan gets up, hesitantly making his way over and leaning against the kitchen island opposite him. Minho puts down the glass and searches his eyes. "You had dinner yet?" he asks. 

"No," Chan shakes his head. 

Minho sighs softly and opens his arms for him. Chan doesn’t hesitate and practically throws himself into his arms, hugging him tight. Minho gently runs his hand through his hair and plants a soft kiss on his head. "I know you meant well, Channie love. It's just…" 

"I don't make it easier, I know," he nods. "I just hate seeing them treat you like that." 

Minho places his fingers beneath his chin, lifting his face. "I have you, at the end of the day, I don't care what they say," he says, rubbing his thumb across Chan's lower lip. "We both know they're right, I have to try sometimes." 

Chan smiles softly and sinks deep into his eyes. "Did I ever tell you how adorable you are when you try though?" 

Minho's eyes brighten up, his smile growing shy. "Not since we recorded Drive." 

Chan smirks, cupping his face. "Mhm, the day of our first kiss. You were too adorable to resist." 

"So that's why you finally confessed your feelings," he teases lovingly. "I don't think I ever saw you that shy again." 

Chan mindlessly brushes back his hair, caressing his cheeks. "I was scared to ruin our friendship." 

"Technically, you did," Minho grins and searches his eyes. "We're way more than that now, aren't we?" he asks and turns, kissing the palm of his hand. 

"There's just one thing that bothers me," he tells him, and Minho frowns softly. "Your last name." 

"What?" Minho blinks at him. "Go blame my parents, thank you very much," he protests, gently shoving his chest. 

Chan grins before taking his hand and mindlessly fondling his ring finger. "I intend to change it one day," he says, and Minho's eyes widen, realizing what he is on about. "When all this is over, I'll officially make you mine." 

Minho chuckles softly and rolls his eyes at him. "You're so cheesy," he giggles. 

Chan smirks and pulls something from his pocket. "Until then, I want you to hold on to this for me," he says, sliding a subtle silver ring up his finger. 

"Channie," Minho breathes out, stunned. 

"Happy birthday, Minho baby," he says sweetly after checking the time. It’s only a few minutes after midnight. 

Minho's heart is about to burst, and he pulls him in, kissing him hard on the mouth. Chan's lips crash onto his, a soft moan leaving his lips that shoots straight to Minho's stomach. He sinks his hand into his hair and presses himself close. "Love, I need you. Right now," he whispers against his lips, and Chan takes the hint. He lifts him up, chuckling as Minho wraps his legs around him. Minho kisses him heavily as Chan maneuvers his way through the living room and up the stairs. He doesn’t even bother turning on the lights and sits down at the edge of their bed. Minho straddles his lap, hands cupping his face as he kisses him passionately. Chan sinks his hand into his hair, pulling him back as his lips travel down his neck. Minho moans sweetly at the sensation and presses him closer to his skin. "Chan, sweetie," he pants, and Chan hums questioningly against his neck, sinking his teeth into his skin. "Lube. Now." 

Chan chuckles at his impatience but reaches for the table next to the bed, grabbing the lube from the drawer. Minho takes it and slips from his lap, chest heaving softly from their heavy kisses. 

Minho leans down and captures his lips in another short, soft kiss. "Take it all off," he whispers before grabbing the hem of his own shirt. 

Chan doesn’t need a second invitation and pulls Minho back down on his lap as soon as their clothes are gone. He hungrily kisses him before getting up and lowering him back on the mattress. "Fuck, you're beautiful," he tells him quietly, and Minho smiles sweetly beneath him. 

"Please don't make me wait," Minho answers just as quietly, reaching out for him. 

Chan flicks the bottle open and pours some lube on his fingers. He spreads Minho's legs, and his hand disappears between them. Chan watches his face in awe as he starts to open him up. Minho pulls him into an open-mouthed kiss, arching into him as Chan adds another finger. As soon as Minho tells him he's ready, Chan grabs a condom and prepares himself quickly. He pushes in with slow, careful movements and can’t help but groan when he is fully buried inside him. "Fuck." 

Minho beams up at him, softly burying his fingers in his hair and pants at the pleasant stretch. He takes a moment to adjust before nodding. "Okay," he whispers, and Chan starts moving. He watches him full of adoration, brushing back a curl that's already sticking to his forehead, and places his hand on his neck, thumb fondling his cheek. Minho presses their foreheads together as Chan thrusts in deep, both moaning at the feeling. "Feels so good, Channie hyung," Minho tells him, and Chan growls softly at the honorifics. 

Chan's bracing himself on his lower arms, gently playing with Minho's hair. He leans into Minho's touch as the younger one caresses his cheek, and their lips brush together, moans and soft sounds of pleasure echoing between them. Minho's head falls back, toes curling as Chan manages to hit his prostate. His hand shoots up, nails burying themselves in Chan's shoulder. A punched-out sound leaves his lips as Chan buries his nose in his neck simultaneously, gently licking the spot he previously sunk his teeth into. "I got you," Chan rasps against his skin and hits his sweet spot again. Chan watches Minho’s face flood with pleasure, lips falling open with soft whimpers and moans. Moonlight dances across his dark hair, highlighting every significant feature of his face.

Minho chases his lips, moaning into the kiss loudly, and wraps his legs around Chan’s waist. “Don’t stop,” he pants, gripping his hair tightly. “So close…”

Chan kisses a trail down his jaw, keeping the same pace as Minho’s hips start to stutter beneath him. He reaches down between their bodies, wrapping his hand around his dick and pumping him fast. “Come for me, baby. Make a mess,” he rasps into his ear, and Minho does, whimpering his name as he paints their chests. Chan picks up the pace of his thrusts, knowing Minho only likes to be overstimulated when he’s in the mood for it.

Minho smiles at him lazily as Chan falls apart above him, lovingly fondling his hair as the older one collapses onto him. They lay still for a moment, both catching their breaths before Minho speaks up again. “We could’ve done that earlier, maybe you wouldn’t have been sulking all day then..”

Chan giggles and weakly punches his arm. “Fuck you.”

“I thought you did already,” he teases, kissing his hair. “I’m joking.”

“I know,” Chan snorts before pushing himself up. “We need a shower.”

“You still need dinner as well,” Minho reminds him.

“Yeah, about that,” Chan starts, and Minho snorts softly. 

“You’re addicted to that dish already, aren’t you?” he asks, and Chan blushes. “You always are when I try something new,” he giggles. 

“You know me too well,” Chan laughs. 

“Of course I do,” he smiles smugly. “And, of course, I’ll make it for a very late dinner,” he tells him and gently pats his back. “Now get off me, you big baby, before I get too lazy to move and decide differently,” he says, laughing as Chan does so immediately. 

After their shower, in the dim light of their bathroom, Minho sees the scratch marks he left on Chan’s back and contorts his face softly. He gently brushes his fingertips over them and meets Chan’s eyes through the mirror. “I’m sorry.”

Chan smirks before turning and wrapping his arms around him. “One of the reasons I call you kitten, it’s fine,” he assures him, and Minho fondly rolls his eyes at him. “Also, I don’t want to pressure you or anything, but I can help you out with the English stuff at any time.”

Minho stares at him, amused for a moment, before squinting his eyes at him. “You know why that’s not a good idea?”

“Why?” he asks, clearly confused. 

“You’d have another excuse to fuck me stupid and blame it on me speaking English,” he smirks, and Chan’s jaw drops. 

“How is that bad?” he asks, playfully offended. 

“How is that helping with learning? I’d be distracted the whole time, and we’d get nothing done,” he protests. 

“It would work like a reward system, which is quite effective, by the way,” Chan smirks. 

“Oh wow, he’s speaking English, but somehow he can’t walk straight anymore. I wonder why,” Minho thinks out loud, and Chan starts laughing.

“Shut up, I was being nice,” he giggles. 

“I’m just being realistic,” he grins. 

“Buzzkill,” Chan snorts.

“Be nice, it’s my birthday,” Minho pouts playfully, squirming away and laughing as Chan tickles him.

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@soullostinspaceandtime @brownieloved @rebecca-johnson-28 @euphoric-univers @hyunniebunni @mal-lunar-28 @malfoygalaxies

[the-anonmaton]

Hey there Sevika Nation!

I wanna give some love to my blog, so I've decided to start posting my Sevika x Reader fics here, too.

They're already posted on AO3, so for anyone interested they are up for reading! :)

I'll upload them chronologically until I catch up and I'll make sure to space them out just so I don't hoard the tags. (be nice, it's been a year since I started writing them and my earlier ones may reflect that, but I'd like to think I've somewhat improved)

So, if anyone is interested and prefers the tumblr format for reading let me know and I'll add you to a taglist when posting.

I'd like to point out that I'm a big ol' lesbian, so my writing reflects that, too. :)

Also, my fics are smutty, so minors begone!

(If I see ageless blogs asking for a tag, I won't even acknowledge it. I know many may not want to disclose their age, myself included, so something like 20s, 30s, 40s etc is a good alternative.)

Aaaanyways...

Love you!

Bye :)

[namelnom]

«Blog Intro»

Hi there random on the internet, or maybe someone that I know that it's seeing my blog because for a strange fucking reason they like me??

I love to curse and as I say in my blog description I'm considered a hypocrite semi-problematic questionable alter and this is my semi-problematic hypocrite questionable blog... You wanna know more about me and the blog? Sure, let's dive into it

About the blog

Probably gonna do a tags masterlist for you to not what to filter tag, the reason? Well let me give you a little list of what kind of content I might post here

Dark humor, I FUCKING LOVE DARK HUMOR

Jokes about my trauma and problems

Mention or talking about serious and/or triggering topics

My opinions, might be problematic or seems as hypocrite

My thoughts, the same thing as above

Discourse posts but not being open to have a discourse chat about it (Only if I said so)

(If I do I'm gonna update this)

I don't filter myself most of the time when doing posts, but I do take accountability if I did wrong and hurt people

I'm 100% open minded so don't assume things about me and I'm conscious I can be wrong, just my actitud reads "I do not give a shit anymore" and that's right, I don't most of the time lol

I'm just a chaotic little persecutor who wants to have fun and has a very strange mind, deal with it or block me, I don't want fucking problems, and if you do tell me shit I'm gonna answer it laughing about it, no one can hate me more than I do LMAO

I fluent in spanish and english so expect some random posts to be in spanish (They're gonna be the minority, I don't like spanish at all but because it's my native language I have to stick with it ugh /neg)

Sometimes I'll post art that I did, drawings and narrative so beware

I might have some NSFW posts, but they're obviously gonna be tagged correspondingly, so please filter your tags when being in this blog, interact at your own responsibility, I do tag, I'm not responsible for you not filter tagging or ignoring the posts

About me

My name's Namelnom but you can call me Namel for short (NEVER EVER CALL ME NAME OK???) or you can give me a nickname. Some friends call me the fucking traumatized gay and tbh that's me fr, I do not mind that kind of names xD

Do not call me human, I'm aware the body's human but I'm not, I'm a non human alter who their identity also falls into the therian and otherkin ID, I'm so far away from being human that I'm a-ok with some dehumanizing jokes

Besides from host I'm also: Problematic alter, multolder, janusian, subsys-admin... And I won't be giving out more details lol

My basic list of pronouns from what I use/like most to the less used is: He/It/They/Xem/Persm/Coffeself/Purpleself/Robotself/Wolfself

But you can use any pronouns that's not feminine, feminine aligned or feminine related... And pink, this includes she/her and neo/xeno pronouns that fall into that category

My queer labels are plenty so...

Gender ID: Transmasc, GNC, Dya Man, Concefaun, Void Gender, Implagender

Orientations: Oriented AroAce, AegoAroAce, Apothiosexual, Cupioromantic, Devoromantic, Fidesqueerplatonic, Panqueerplatonic, Demi-Sensual, Omniaesthetic

Others: Polyqueerplatonic, Ambiamorous, Hyperased, T4T, ND4ND, AroAce4AroAce

Probably gonna make a more in depth post about this, if I do I'm gonna link it here for you to see easily

Because they're here and probably gonna be the only ones to see my blog /hj I'm giving a honor mention to my son and my platonic husband!! I love them so much 💜

My platonic husband: @dpdazai ✨✨✨

My awesome son: @jesuswasacreature ✨✨✨

Also some other misc info about me is:

As I previously said I'm otherkin, therian and otherlink, I have my suspicions about other things but, hey, I don't have the energy to read about them

I'm atheist satanist meaning I follow the satanist philosophy and commandments but I don't believe in satan nor worship him

I'm anti-genderist tho I might do some jokes about gender and that kind of shit lmao

Not in a religious way but I'm animistic (Hope I'm writing it correctly lol) meaning I have the strong and firm believe that everything is alive, have emotions and a soul, yes, objects and inanimate things too

Anarcho queer, deal with it or fuck it, I do not care anymore for activism nor I'm part of the LGBTQIA+ community

I have A LOT of shipping and shipper labels, I'm not gonna say a lot about this in this blog but have that in mind

I have ginofobia, no, I'm not sexis or misoginist, I'm just a traumatized fucker who developed a phobia because of trauma, deal with it or block me

I'm pro-abortion, you don't like that? Cry about it

Boundaries

I'm 100% ok with answering asks of almost all kind, just nothing that's too explicit because I don't want that in my blog, tho I normally can stand that lol

Go ahead and interact all you want, juts have in mind that if you want to have a talk or a debate or something similar around some topic I mentioned in some post or you want me to give out an opinion of something sure you can, just respect that sometimes I won't be entering and having those talks because I simply don't want to

Do not assume we're friends if I haven't tell you we are, I tend to act like I'm friends with everyone when that's not true at all

OTI (Ok to interact)

A-normative people (Neurodivergent, queer, POC, etc.)

People with CDD (I know they're a-normative but still lol)

Open minded people

People who are "cringe" and just have fun

Likes dark humor

Artists and writers

Thin Ice

Neurotypicals (Like, don't having any disorder or neurodivergence)

Straight & cis people

Anime fans, otakus or any kind of people who it's like asian multimedia obsessed (Trauma goes brr)

Women (Trauma goes brr x2)

Darkshippers who don't put TW and censor to access the content

DNI (Do not interact)

Basic DNI (homophobics, transphobics, racist, classist, ableists, etc.)

Pro-life people

TERFS & radqueers (Yeah I'm putting them together because for me they're like equal shit)... Also, any kind of extremists

Fakes mental disorders for x or y reason

Stigmatize disorders

People with a savior complex and/or who feel morally superior

Closed mind people

Darkshippers who romanticize that shit

Fugoshis and fundashis (Any kind of people who fetichies/sexualizes gay/lesbian relationships)

People who think because they're part of a minority they can't discriminate ("I'm trans I can't be homophobic" " I'm POC I can't be racist", etc.)

Anti-shippers, like in general

Anti therian, otherkin and alterhuman

Anti any kind of content that's sen "cringe"

Doesn't take accountability and/or makes up excuses

Userboxes

When I finish the rest I'm gonna add the rest of my userboxes, at least the rest that are important to have here

(I only like using my own made userboxes sorry not sorry ig?)

Probably I'm gonna make a post just to hoard all my userboxes lmao

[sawyer-is-eepy]

an Actual pinned™️

I have been avoiding writing an actual pinned but I can no longer put it off. my time has come

hi!! I'm sawyer, i'm E/INFP-T if that matters, and a member of the timeloop collective! we are pro endo, pro sysconversation, and anti psych! (our syscourse code: 👍/♥️/📘/🔸/🟢/🌗🌘/🟧/🌲/🌥/🍞/🐊/🐌/🐬)

I use ze/ae/they pronouns primarily, but i use any pronouns except it/its! I am a minor!

I/we interchangeably but mostly it'll be first person. refer to us however you'd like.

I love outer wilds, it's my special interest/hyperfixation at the moment! please talk to me about it! ::D

other interests include-

guilty gear games, risk of rain 2, lethal company, tloz series, cowboy bebop, full metal alchemist brotherhood, FLCL, sailor moon, TF2, half life, portal, your turn to die, sonic the hedgehog, journey(tgc), 2018 r&bw, b&pc, omori, ddlc, and many other things.

things to watch out for-

I frequently reblog posts about syscourse

I frequently reblog things with outer wilds spoilers.

everything about outer wilds that has ANY spoiler, however big or small, gets tagged #outer wilds spoilers. if you have not finished the base game, please block this tag and do so ^^

if the post is about echoes of the eye -the dlc- spoilers, it will be tagged as #echoes of the eye spoilers as well as the one above. if you have not finished the dlc, please block this tag and do so ^^

no dni but I block FREELY

please don't spoil:

buffy the vampire slayer, trigun(original), samurai champloo, naruto shippuden, yume nikki, rain world, in stars and time, subnautica

tagging system - (feel free to block any of them that make you uncomfortable!)

#sawyer arts : drawings, paintings, art stuffs

#sawyer has thoughts : my thoughts/observations on things, like games or plurality or something, but not syscourse related

#sawyer is a syscourser : syscourse thoughts and posts. anything that is syscoursey will be tagged this but #sawyer has thoughts can include non syscourse-y plurality posts

#sawyer is upset : vent tag. probably won't be used often but just in case

then of course i already talked about the outer wilds tags, but just to reiterate- if you have not finished outer wilds please block #outer wilds spoilers and if you haven't finished the dlc please block #echoes of the eye spoilers! i will tag EVERY SINGLE REBLOG OR POST that has spoilers this, so you can browse my blog without that worry!

if youre a mutual and you want to, you can ask for a "don't look" tag if there's anything in specific that I post or reblog that you don't wanna see!!

relevant blogs -

@agate-rambles sideblog for tulpa-related shenanigans! frequently reblogs outer wilds stuff as well! same tags

i might add more to this later ^^

( also I am not good at making long intro posts like these, so apologies if I'm missing anything! I used to @ / jellyfish-grave 's pinned as a reference )

the future is plural!

Some friendos of mine that you should totally follow

@remithenoaitall - cousin. nothing else is interesting about them at all ever they're only here out of obligation /j

@jellyfish-grave - wooo close close friend of mine

@spacestationsystem - are pretty cool ^^ and SWEET TYSM y'all

@feychildfangs - wowow cool person. !!!

@nxva-blogz - coolio person!!! they do cool art and stuff

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Angel of God, My Guardian Dear Chapter 1: Matt

Rating: Explicit (18+, MINORS DNI)

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Story Summary: While speaking at a local school for visually impaired youth, Matt runs into his childhood best friend, with whom he lost touch almost 20 years prior.

Warnings/Tags: No real warnings thus far -- This is going to be a pretty angst-free fic.

Word Count: ~6,300

A/N: Welcome to Angel of God, My Guardian Dear! This started out as a 1-shot and quickly spiraled out of control, as my thirst for Matthew Michael Murdock could not be contained.

For the purpose of this story, Reader is Catholic and grew up at St. Agnes with Matt.

Title is from the Catholic prayer "Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom God's love commits me here, ever this day be at my side, to light and guard, to rule and guide, Amen."

"All set to go to Lavelle?" 

Matt Murdock turned his head as his friend and business partner, Foggy Nelson, came into his office. "Yeah, just need to finish up here and I'll be on my way."

"It was really cool of them to ask you to come speak," Foggy added.

Matt nodded. "I hope I can help these kids realize that their disabilities don't define who they are and that they can be whoever and whatever they want to be, including lawyers."

Foggy huffed out a laugh. "Or crime-fighting vigilantes?"

Matt grinned. "Well actually, there's probably only room for one blind crime-fighting vigilante in this city, so I probably won't suggest that as a potential career path."

Foggy patted Matt on the shoulder. "You're a great speaker, I'm sure you'll motivate the heck out of those kids. Have a good time, dude."

"Thanks, Fog."

Matt grabbed his briefcase, headed outside, then hailed a cab.

"Alright, where we goin'?" The cabbie asked.

"The Bronx," Matt answered. "Lavelle School for the Blind."

The cabbie tapped on a screen, presumably putting the address into his GPS. "Alrighty, just sit tight and we should be there in about half an hour."

Matt sat back as the cab began to move.  Think of it like a jury, Karen had said when Matt had told her and Foggy about the opportunity over a couple of pints at Josie's a few weeks before. Just a younger, way more judgmental jury.

Matt had laughed. Not helping.

You'll do great.

He mentally practiced his speech during the ride and before he knew it, the cab was pulling up in front of the school.

"Thanks," Matt said as he paid the cabbie.

"No problem," the cabbie replied. "Enjoy the rest of your day."

"You too."

Matt headed inside.

Almost immediately, a somewhat familiar voice asked him, "Hi, may I help you?"

Matt turned towards the voice. "Hi, yes, my name is Matthew Murdock. I'm one of the speakers for today?"

"Ah, yes, Mr. Murdock, I'm Dr. Bowman, we spoke on the phone."

Matt nodded, now placing the voice. "Right, right."

"We'll be in the meeting hall, which is straight down this corridor. If you'll just come with me…"

Dr. Bowman led Matt down to the meeting hall. "We really appreciate you taking time out of your schedule to speak to our students," she said as they entered.

"It's really not a problem."

"The students and their parents will be starting to arrive in a while, but if you'd like we could have someone escort you around to the exhibitor tables once they're all set up."

"Yeah, maybe."

"We have a Braille program if you'd like one -- it lists all the speakers and exhibitors for today."

"Yeah, I'd love one."

"Okay, one second."

Dr. Bowman stepped away for a minute then returned, handing Matt a booklet printed on Braille paper. "Okay, here you go."

"Thanks." Matt pointed to a nearby table. "Is it okay if I sit over here?"

"Yes, of course. Just let us know if you need anything."

"Will do."

Matt sat at the table and began to read the program. Staff, sponsors, speakers, exhibitors…

He began to read the exhibitor list. American Council for the Blind, representative Ashley Prewitt. VISIONS, representative Clay Markham. NYC Mayor's Office for People with Disabilities, representative Barbara Franklin. Andrew Heiskell Braille and Talking Book Library, representative Y/F/N Y/L/N --

Matt froze and read it again. Could it really be the same Y/N?

Y/N, who at 8 years old had taken 9-year-old Matt, who had just arrived at the orphanage, by the hand and declared that she would be his friend. Y/N, who had giggled when Matt had asked her a few days later if she was an angel and replied, 'no, silly, I'm a girl!' . Y/N, who had been Matt's fiercest protector and had gotten into almost as many fights as Matt himself had. Y/N, who would stroke Matt's hair softly until he fell asleep on the nights when he would sneak into her room because all the stimuli flooding his senses became too overwhelming. Y/N, to whom Matt had taught Braille so they could pass secret notes to each other without anyone else being able to read them. Y/N, who 17-year-old Matt had held while she cried the day they found out that Y/N had been taken in by her long-lost aunt and would be leaving Saint Agnes… and him. 

Y/N, his own personal guardian angel, the one person in the world Matt could tell everything to… except the one thing he had wanted to tell her most of all.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

"I don't want you to leave," he admitted quietly as he and Y/N stood at the entrance to St. Agnes.

"I don't want to leave either," Y/N replied. "I wish you could at least come with me."

Matt chuckled wryly. He had overheard one of the nuns talking to Ms. Y/L/N earlier that morning, warning her about 'that Murdock boy' and telling her how it was best for Y/N to be separated from him 'before he gets her into trouble'. "I don't think your aunt would go for that."

"Then can we run away together instead? We could travel the world, just you and me on the epic best friend adventure that we've always dreamed of." 

God, Matt wanted to say yes. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Y/N by his side, be it as his best friend or -- as he knew deep down in his heart -- something more.

However, Sister Bernadette had been right. Y/N really was an angel sent from on high who deserved all of the goodness in the world, and Matt… Well, Murdock boys had the devil in them.

He shook his head sadly. "Your aunt's waiting. You should go."

Y/N was quiet for a few moments. Finally, she said, "Before I go… I got you something."

She took Matt's hand and dropped a thin, wiry chain into his palm. "I saved up for six months to buy it from the church's gift shop. I was going to give it to you for your birthday, but…" She trailed off. "Anyway, think of me when you wear it, okay?"

Matt picked it up with his other hand. Attached to the chain was a small cross. 

He nodded. "I will. Thanks."

"I'll write to you, give you my aunt's address." Y/N pulled him into a tight hug then gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll miss you, Matty."

"I'll miss you too. Goodbye, angel."

Matt waited as half of his heart climbed into a cab and left, the note he had written to her the previous night still in his pocket.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Matt mentally shook his head. Don't get your hopes up. It may not be her.

…But deep down he knew it had to be.

He stopped someone who was walking by. "Excuse me, can you tell me if the representative from the Heiskell Library is here yet?"

"Umm…" the woman paused as she turned towards the exhibitor tables. "Yeah, actually, it looks like she's talking with Dr. Bowman at the moment."

"Okay, thank you."

"No problem."

As the woman walked away, Matt turned his head so he could listen in on the conversation.

"...So glad you could be here," Dr. Bowman was saying. "We really appreciate you taking time to come out and speak with our students and their parents."

"It's no problem, Dr. Bowman," the other voice replied. "I'm always happy to promote the library's services."

Matt sucked in a breath. It *is* her. 

Even after all the years that had passed since he had last spent time with Y/N he had never forgotten the sound of her voice, the times he had sat listening to her read to him still among his favorite memories.

Y/N and Dr. Bowman were wrapping up their conversation, so Matt stood and headed over towards them.

Either Y/N didn't notice that Matt was behind her or Matt had misjudged the distance between them, but Y/N turned around and bumped into him.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, sir, I--" Y/N gasped. "Wait, Matty?"

"It's just 'Matt' now, but yeah. Hi, angel." Matt was surprised at how easily his old nickname for Y/N slipped from his lips.

"Oh my God, hi!" Y/N wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "How are you? What are you doing here? Are you a teacher?"

Matt chuckled as he returned her embrace. "I'm well. I don't teach here, I'm actually one of the featured speakers."

"Oh, wow, that's wonderful."

"What about you? How have you been?"

"I'm well too, yeah. Oh my God, this is so crazy. Are you still in New York?"

Matt nodded. "Yeah, still in Hell's Kitchen. You know me, I'm loyal to my city. What about you?" 

"Yeah, Florida was okay, but New York is home. I'm actually in Midtown West now, so I'm not far." Y/N paused. "Hey, would you want to maybe grab dinner or a drink or something after this is done, and I dunno, like, catch up? It's totally fine if you can't, I just thought maybe --"

Matt quickly shook his head. "No, no, yeah, I'd love to."

"Great! I'll have to run back by the library to drop all of my stuff off but I can meet you wherever after that."

Matt thought for a moment. "You still like Italian?"

Y/N let out a light laugh. "Of course."

"Then how about Bellissima Italia, over on 9th and 44th? That's near there, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great."

"Will 6:00 work for you? I'll make a reservation."

"That would be perfect. Here, let me give you my number in case something unexpected comes up. It probably won't, but then again, this is New York -- you never know what kind of craziness is going to happen next."

Matt chuckled and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "That's very true."

He created a new contact and typed in Y/N's name, then added her number once Y/N recited it to him.

He hit the button to call her, hanging up after Y/N's phone began to buzz in her pocket. "There, now you have mine."

"Awesome. I have to get to my table, but I'll see you tonight?"

Matt nodded as the doors opened and people began to trickle in. "Yeah, definitely. See you tonight, Y/N." 

"Bye, Matt."

Wow, what are the odds? Matt thought as Y/N walked back over to her table. 

He pulled his phone back out and headed back into the hallway to make their reservation, then called Foggy.

"Yo, Matt, what's up?" Foggy said in greeting.

"Hey, Foggy, do you remember me telling you about Y/N back when we were in college?"

"Y/N, as in Y/N, your childhood friend from the orphanage who you talked about non-stop and are still hung up on 16 years later Y/N? 'The one that got away' Y/N? That Y/N?"

Matt chuckled. "Yeah, that Y/N. Well, I actually just ran into her. It turns out she's a librarian at the Heiskell Library and is here promoting their library services, so we made plans to have dinner and catch up after this is over."

"Oh, wow, that's actually really awesome, dude. You said she works at the Heiskell Library?" 

Matt could hear Foggy sit down at his desk and start typing on his computer keyboard. "Yeah."

After a moment, Foggy said, "Damn it."

"What is it?"

"I knew she was gonna be hot!"

Matt huffed out a laugh. "Did you seriously just Google her?"

"I wanted to see what she looks like! You're a hot woman magnet, so of course your old childhood friend is hot. Is she single? Because if you change your mind about her…"

Matt just chuckled. "Not gonna happen. If I even remotely still have a shot with Y/N, I'm taking it." 

"Eh, I was just kidding anyway. Good luck tonight, man. Hope she's everything you remember her being and more."

"Thanks, Fog. I'll talk to you later."

"'Kay. Bye, Matt."

Matt hung up and headed back inside, both excited and nervous to catch up with Y/N later that evening.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Matt smoothed down his hair for what seemed like the tenth time as he arrived at the restaurant for his catch-up dinner with Y/N. 

He took a deep breath and headed inside.

"Buonasera," the seating host said. "Welcome to Bellissima Italia. How many in your party, sir?"

"Actually, I have a reservation for two at 6, under 'Murdock'," Matt replied. 

"Ah, yes, sir. Your companion's already arrived. Right this way."

Matt followed the seating host to where Y/N sat.

"Matt, you made it," Y/N said, standing and giving Matt a hug.

She had changed from the blouse and slacks she had worn earlier into a silk dress that hugged her form, and underneath the subtly floral perfume she wore was her familiar natural scent that had never failed to relax Matt when he was overwhelmed. Even now he could feel his nervous energy starting to calm.

He returned her embrace. "Hi."

"Joseph will be your server tonight," the host said as they sat. "If you need anything let us know."

"Thank you."

Matt folded up his cane and stuck it in his jacket pocket. "I hope you haven't had to wait long."

"No, I just got here a few minutes ago."

Their server walked up to their table. "Good evening, my name is Joseph and I'll be taking care of you. What can I get you to drink?"

"Can I get a glass of Pinot Grigio and a water?" Y/N said.

"Certainly, ma'am. And for you, sir?"

"I'll take a glass of Merlot and a water as well, thanks."

"Okay, certainly. I'll get that taken care of for you while you get a chance to look over the menu."

"Do you know what you want, or do you want me to read the menu to you?" Y/N asked as Joseph left.

"Actually if you don't mind telling me what's on the menu I'd really appreciate it," Matt replied. "I didn't get a chance to check it out before I came."

"No, it's not a problem at all." Y/N picked up her menu. "Let's see…"

Matt listened intently as Y/N quickly read the menu off to him. He nodded. "Okay, thanks. I think I know what I want."

A few moments later Joseph returned with their drinks. "Okay, here you are. And are we ready to order?"

Matt nodded. "I'm ready. Y/N, you want to go ahead?"

"Yes, I'd like the gnocchi in cream sauce, please," Y/N said. 

"Okay, and for you, sir?"

"I'll take the chicken parmigiana, thanks." Matt picked up his menu and handed it to Joseph.

"Okay, I'll put those in for you right away."

"Wow, I still can't believe this," Y/N said as Joseph left once again. "It's been, what, almost 20 years?"

Matt nodded with a grin. "Yeah, something like that. And even after all this time, you still look exactly the same."

Y/N laughed. "I'm glad to know that you haven't lost your sense of humor."

She took a sip of water. "So, catch me up on the past 20 years."

Matt shrugged. "Not much to tell. Left St. Agnes at 18, went to Columbia and got a law degree, opened my own practice with my college roommate, and that's about it." Except for the fact that I also became a crime-fighting vigilante, sent a mob boss to jail, and took down a secret organization of ninjas.

"Not married, no kids?"

Matt shook his head. "No, never found the right person." Because I already had found her but was too much of a coward to tell her how I felt before she left. "What about you? What have you been up to?"

"Finished high school in Florida, got my bachelor's degree in sociology, did my MLIS, and became a librarian. Did five years as a special services librarian in Florida, two in Indiana, then I managed to get on with the Heiskell Library and have been there ever since."

"No marriage or kids for you either?"

"No kids, almost got married once but it didn't work out. Wasn't anyone's fault, we just weren't right for each other."

Matt nodded. "How's your aunt?"

"Oh, she's fine. She's still in Florida so I talk to her every few days. Wait till I tell her I ran into you."

Matt gave a wry smile. "I dunno if she'll be happy about that. She didn't like me."

"What do you mean she didn't like you? She didn't even know you."

"She didn't have to. She had heard enough about me from Sister Bernadette to form an opinion."

"Ugh. Sister Bernadette. She did always seem to have it out for you."

Matt shrugged. "Well, in all fairness, I was kind of a troublemaker."

Y//N laughed. "Yeah, but I was usually right there with you in whatever trouble you were making, if not starting the trouble myself."

Matt grinned and took a sip of his wine. "You mean like the time we stole that bottle of Communion wine out of the church storeroom?"

Y/N laughed. "You know, that was the first thing I mentioned during confession after I started going to church in Florida. Seal of Confession or not, I wasn't about to confess to Father Reynolds about it."

Matt grinned. "Afraid of a harsher penance?"

"Yes! It was bad enough having to say five Acts of Contrition and three Our Fathers that time I punched Bobby Neyland in the face for tripping you in the hall. I had already gotten detention and I had to apologize to him, what more did they want?"

They were interrupted by Joseph bringing their dinners. "Alrighty, we have the gnocchi over here, and the chicken parmigiana here. Careful, those plates are hot. Is there anything else I can get you two?"

"No, I think we're fine," Y/N replied. "Matt?"

Matt shook his head. "We're good for now."

"Okay, let me know if you need anything else."

"Will do."

"Anyway," Y/N said, "we weren't always getting into trouble. Most of the time we were perfect little angels."

Matt chuckled. "I think your memory is faulty. You may have been an angel, but I certainly wasn't."

"We did have some good times together though, didn't we, Matty?"

Matt nodded, the quiet times he got to spend with Y/N floating through his mind. "Yeah, we certainly did."

The conversation continued to flow easily as Matt and Y/N reminisced about their childhood, and the next thing Matt knew dinner was over.

"Will that be one check or two?" Joseph asked as he cleared their plates.

"Just the one check, thanks," Matt said, handing Joseph his credit card before Y/N could protest.

"Next time, I'm paying," Y/N replied as Joseph went to go take care of the bill.

Matt grinned, thrilled that Y/N had even mentioned a 'next time'. "Deal."

He signed the check once Joseph returned for the last time, then unfolded his cane as he and Y/N stood. "May I walk you home?"

He could almost hear the smile in Y/N's voice as she replied. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that." 

Matt extended his arm. "Then shall we?"

They left the restaurant together, the ease and familiarity they once shared still there.

"So, what made you decide to become a librarian?" Matt asked as they headed towards Y/N's apartment building. "Last I knew you wanted to go out and save the world by becoming a big-time CEO of a Fortune 500 company."

Y/N huffed out a laugh. "Um, well, actually, it was you." 

Matt's eyebrows raised. "Me?"

"Yeah. When it was time to start thinking about college I spoke to my guidance counselor and told her about how my best friend was visually impaired and how I'd sit and read print books to him because there weren't any Braille or audiobooks in the orphanage where we grew up, and so she told me about how there were actually special library services for people with visual impairments and that maybe I should look into special services librarianship since I seemed called to that."

"And do you like it?"

"Yeah, more than anything. Like a lot of people might think that being a librarian is boring or an obsolete job, but you should talk to some of my patrons, Matt. They're all alone with no family or friends nearby, so listening to these audiobooks are the only things that they have to do all day. It's actually kind of heartbreaking."

Matt nodded with a soft smile. Y/N really was an angel.

"And I know I'm not like, saving lives or changing the world or anything," Y/N continued, "like by being a doctor or by helping innocent people who've been wrongfully accused of crimes like you and your partner, but I feel like I'm at least helping people in my own way, you know?"

Matt turned towards Y/N as they stopped at a crosswalk. "You think you haven't saved lives? 'Angel' wasn't just a nickname, sweetheart. You befriended a lonely, scared, angry little boy with absolutely zero fucks given as to what anyone else thought, and to this day I'm still so damn grateful for whatever made you see me and decide, 'Yes, that one. I want him as my best friend'."

Y/N let out a watery laugh. "Honestly, it wasn't a tough decision. I knew from the moment I saw you that you were going to be way cooler than everyone else."

Matt smiled softly. "You were my guardian angel, Y/N. I certainly wouldn't have made it without you."

He reached up and gently swiped his thumbs under her eyes, wiping away the tears that had collected there. "You okay?"

Y/N nodded. "Yeah."

Matt slipped his hand into Y/N's and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

They continued on their way to Y/N's apartment, Y/N seemingly as reluctant to let go of Matt's hand as he was to let go of hers.

"What about you?" Y/N asked. "What drew you to law?"

"I want to fight injustice and keep Hell's Kitchen safe, protect the people I care about," Matt said simply. "Going through the legal system seemed the best way to do that at the time."

"And now?"

"What?"

"You said 'at the time'. What's the best way now?"

Being Daredevil, Matt wanted to say. Protecting those I can't protect through the law. 

He shook his head. "I just know that everything's not as black-and-white with the legal system as I once thought."

"Yeah, I get that." Y/N slowed down as they reached her apartment building. "This is me."

Matt nodded. "I'm really glad we found each other again."

"I am too -- I've missed you so much, Matt. I tried to write to you after I moved but all of my letters came back 'return to sender'. Eventually I realized that they were returning my letters, but by that time it was too late, and it's not like I could just call up Sister Bernadette and ask for your forwarding address."

Matt shook his head. "I knew it. I knew something weird was going on. I could tell she was lying whenever I asked her if I had any mail from you."

"I still have them."

"The letters you wrote me?"

"Yeah, they're in a box in my closet."

"Can I read them?"

"Yeah, sure. You want me to go get them or do you want to come up for a drink and we can read them together?"

Matt nodded. "A drink would be nice." More time I can spend with you.

"Okay, then. Come on in."

Y/N led Matt through the lobby to the elevator and up to her apartment. "Make yourself at home," she said as she unlocked her door. "Living room is straight ahead, just mind the coffee table when you go around the couch to sit."

Matt sat while Y/N moved around her kitchen. "What's your preference?" Y/N asked. "I have wine, hard cider, amaretto, whiskey, rum…"

"Whiskey is fine. On the rocks."

He could hear Y/N adding ice to a couple of glasses then opening a couple of bottles, then smelled the scent of sweet & sour mix. "Let me guess. Amaretto sour for yourself?"

Y/N paused in her pouring. "How'd you know?"

"I can hear the difference in the shape of the bottles, and I can smell the sweet & sour."

"You're good." Y/N closed the bottles and put the sweet & sour mix back in her refrigerator. 

She handed Matt his glass before setting hers down on the coffee table. "Here you go. Give me just a second, I'll go grab the letters."

Matt took a sip of his whiskey as Y/N retreated to her bedroom.

She returned momentarily with a box. "Ok so remember, I was 16 when I started writing these, so don't judge me if they're cringy."

Matt chuckled. "I won't, I promise."

Y/N opened the box and handed him a manila envelope. "Here, start with this one. I'm pretty sure they're still in the order I wrote them."

Matt opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of Braille paper. "Can you still read Braille?" he asked.

"Yep, can still write in it too, although Braille printers make everything a lot easier these days."

Matt set the piece of paper on the coffee table and began to read aloud. 

"September 30, 2002

Dear Matty,

Just got settled in at Aunt Ruth's house. My bedroom here is as big as both of ours at St. Agnes combined. 

Hoping I can convince Aunt Ruth to let you come visit soon, maybe during Thanksgiving?

By the way, my address is 4685 Sandpiper Blvd., Miami, FL 33190.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Y/N"

Y/N snorted. "Yeah, 'I'm sure you'll be able to get away from the orphanage for a week or so to come hang out with your bestie in Florida!' Man, was I naive."

Matt shook his head. "You didn't know. Neither of us could've known that they'd actually try to keep us apart."

Y/N picked up the next envelope. "Here, I'll read the next one."

Matt nodded. "Okay."

"October 21, 2002," Y/N began.

Dear Matty,

I must've done something wrong with the postage on my first letter, because it came back marked return to sender. Adding double to make sure this gets to you.

Aunt Ruth wants me to join some after-school clubs, make some new friends. I don't want *new* friends, though. I just want you.

Speaking of making new friends, you know that song 'make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold'?  Well, it's not true. You're way more precious to me than gold. You're more like… I don't know, the rarest and most precious substance on earth, whatever that may be.

Anyway, address is 4685 Sandpiper Blvd., Miami, FL 33190. Write me back!

Always,

Y/N"

Matt picked up the next envelope. "November 12, 2002.

Dear Matty,

Another letter came back return to sender. Don't quite know what I'm doing wrong, but hopefully this one reaches you!

School has been okay. Don't think I told you yet, but Aunt Ruth enrolled me in some fancy all-girls Catholic school. I'm really enjoying English class. We're reading The Crucible. Maybe next time we're together I'll read it to you. Think you'd like it.

Anyway, hope you're doing okay. I miss you.

Always,

Y/N"

Y/N laughed. "You know, my offer to read The Crucible to you still stands."

Matt grinned. "In that case I might have to take you up on it. You're still my favorite audiobook narrator."

He could hear the smile in Y/N's voice as she began to read her next letter. 

"January 10th, 2003.

Dear Matty (or is it just Matt now that you're the big 1-8?),

Happy birthday! I wish I could be there with you to celebrate. I wanted to surprise you and come visit, but Aunt Ruth said no. (Party pooper.)

I hope your day is amazing and that you get everything you wish for, because you deserve it! *Heart*

Miss you like crazy and I really hope to hear from you soon!

Always,

Y/N"

Matt shrugged. "My 18th birthday was fine, nothing overly special." I didn't get my wish, but now I know why.

He cleared his throat. "April 6, 2003.

Dear Matt,

I don't know if I did something wrong before I left and you're mad at me or if I'm just that inept at mailing a letter, but I just got a bunch of letters back unopened again. I really hope it's the latter because if it's the first, I don't know what I did but whatever it is, I'm sorry. Just please talk to me. I want my best friend back.

Y/N"

Matt's heart broke. Damn them. Damn them all to Hell for making Y/N think she could ever do something to make me not want her in my life. 

He finished his glass of whiskey before picking up the next letter.

"Want a refill?" Y/N asked.

Matt nodded. "Sure."

Y/N stood and went to make them each another drink while Matt read the next letter aloud.

"September 3, 2003

Dear Matt,

I don't even know why I'm still trying. You're 18 now, I'm sure you're not even at St. Agnes anymore. You're probably off to college and have made fancy new college friends, so even if this letter somehow reached you you probably wouldn't respond anyway, but I wanted to tell you goodbye anyway and to wish you good luck.

Y/N"

Matt's brow furrowed. "But there's more letters."

"Yeah." Y/N sounded hesitant as she set Matt's drink down on the table. "I never sent any of the rest though."

She picked up the next one. "December 9, 2003.

Dear Matt,

I'm sitting here in English class (well, not now since I'm writing this in Braille instead of standard print) and our bell assignment today was to write a letter to someone who is no longer in our lives. I'm sure the point is probably to write to someone who's dead, but whatever, I'll write to whomever the hell I want.

Aunt Ruth finally told me the truth: that St. Agnes had been returning your letters to me before you even got them. Needless to say, I'm furious. I don't understand why they would go to such lengths to keep us apart, or why Aunt Ruth would even agree to it.

I hope you don't think I never tried to get in touch with you, because the thought of you believing that I would just abandon you like that tears me up inside.

I miss you, Matt, and I hope you're doing well.

Y/N" 

Matt shook his head. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Y/N. I hate that you ever even had to think that I would ignore your letters."

Y/N reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. "It wasn't your fault."

They continued reading, Y/N telling him about getting into college, the classes she was taking each semester, graduation, getting into grad school and getting her library science degree, her first job as an official librarian… 

Y/N took a sip of her cocktail before starting the next letter.

"March 8, 2012

Dear Matt,

I've met someone . His name is Alex and he works in the I.T. department of the library. I think you two would get along -- you're a lot alike.

We've been dating for a few months now and things are going pretty well. I'll keep you posted as to where things lead.

Y/N"

Matt picked up the second-to-last letter. 

"January 13, 2013

Dear Matt,

Alex proposed, and I said yes. We're planning a fall wedding -- nothing big, just close family and friends.

I wish you could be there. I thought about asking Alex if he could look you up on the internet to see if he could find an address for you. Could you imagine? We haven't been in contact in over 10 years and suddenly you get an invitation to my wedding.

Crazy, right?

Y/N"

Even though Matt knew that things didn't work out between Y/N and her ex-fiancé, his stomach was still in knots as Y/N began to read her final letter.

"June 29, 2013

Dear Matt,

I ended my engagement with Alex today. We were touring wedding venues over the weekend but none of them felt right, and I realized this morning that it wasn't the venues that felt wrong, it was me.

You see, I can't marry Alex, not when-- " Y/N paused and took a deep breath.   "Not when I've been in love with you for most of my life."

Matt's brain screeched to a halt. What did she just say? 

"God, I'm so pathetic," Y/N continued, "pining over someone to whom I haven't even spoken in years. It's not fair to Alex to marry someone who's in love with another man and it's not fair to myself to keep holding on to something that I can never have. 

I guess I've kept writing to you in order to somehow hold on to you and to feel like we were still teenagers writing secret notes to each other, like maybe one day I'd have the courage to finally tell you how I feel.

I'll always love you, Matt, but maybe it's time for me to finally let you go.

Y/N"

Matt turned towards Y/N, who had picked up her drink and was currently draining it. "You were in love with me?"

Y/N remained silent, but the uptick in her heartbeat gave Matt hope. 

He took her glass from her and set it down on the table before taking her hand in his. "Y/N? Please, angel, talk to me."

Y/N took a deep breath. "I still am, Matt. I still love you. I never stopped."

Oh, thank God. "I love you too," Matt murmured. "I've loved you probably since the moment I met you, it just took me a few years to figure out what it was I was feeling." 

He pulled out the cross Y/N had given him out from under his shirt. "I've always kept you close to my heart, Y/N."

Y/N reached out and placed her hand on his chest, warming the metal cross pressing against Matt's shirt. "I was wondering if you still had that."

Matt nodded. "I've rarely taken it off in the past 20 years." 

He paused. "I was going to tell you I loved you the day you left for Florida. I had written you a note telling you how I felt."

"Why didn't you give it to me?"

"Right before I was going to I overheard Sister Bernadette talking to your aunt about how it was best to separate us so I wouldn't ruin your life, and I realized it definitely wasn't fair for me to tell you I loved you right before you moved a thousand miles away."

"What the hell? How would you have ruined my life?"

Matt huffed out a laugh. "Well, let's see, the exact phrasing she used was 'before he gets her into trouble'."

"Before you 'got me into trouble'? Wait, did she -- did she think we were sleeping together ?" Y/N sounded both horrified and amused.

Matt shrugged. "Well, she wouldn't have technically been wrong."

"Well no, but all we ever did was literally sleep together!"

"Maybe, but it's not like I never thought about doing the other kind of sleeping together with you."

Y/N gave a playfully scandalized gasp. "Why, Matthew, I certainly hope you went to confession for that."

"More than once." Matt chuckled. "I mean, I was a hormonal teenage boy who was hopelessly in love with my best friend, of course my thoughts drifted there from time to time."

Y/N was quiet for a moment. "I wonder if maybe someone saw you sneaking out of my room one morning and reported us, and that's why Sister Bernadette thought something was going on. She could've confronted us though instead of just shipping me off and keeping us apart for almost 20 years. So much wasted time, and over what was probably a complete misunderstanding."

Matt shook his head. "Angel?"

"Yeah, Matty?"

"I'm going to kiss you now."

Y/N sucked in a breath. "Uh huh, yeah, okay."

Matt reached out and cupped her cheek in his hand, then -- after over 20 years of longing -- gently pressed his lips to hers.

He leaned back, a smile spreading on his face as he caressed the matching smile on Y/N's with his thumb. "So, how about dinner again tomorrow night?"

Y/N hummed. "What, you don't want to lose touch for another 20 years and hope we randomly run into each other again?"

Matt shook his head with a laugh at Y/N's teasing tone. "No way, angel. I spent almost 20 years without you, so now that I've got you back in my life I'm not letting go."