#But there is no fucking job!!!!!!!!! I just wanna do what i was trained for in masters!!!! Im qualified for a fucking internship at least
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Girl help I wish to travel to different dimensions just to watch a movie/show I really like a little to the left
#years of dreaming on it#OR WHEN A SHOW IS CANCELLED LIKE FUCK YOU#give me me ending even if i have to rip it out if the multiverse hands#but sometimes i just wanna see more of characters interacting together just give me uncut 50 hours version of them#rn it's#deadpool and wolverine#and i wanna know#final space#ending already#and a better#supernatural#ending. and my cancelled gems like#infinity train#inside job#the midnight gospel#lego monkie kid#BUT FRAME MY FRAME FLYING BARK I MISS YOU SO MUCH BBY PLEASE COME HOME wb did a good job but my obsessed ass want eye candy lego animation#our flag means death#I WOULD GIVE MY BLOOD FOR THAT SEASON 3 THEY WERE SO STUPID AND UNFAIR TO CHANCEL IT#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#BELOVED BELOVED BELOVED come backkk mm and you can coexist#oh and let's not forget. what the world would look like if the trollhunters movie didn't SUCK ASS horrible movie -7383/10 DELETE#i can go on all day i have been done wrong by many cancelled shows😭#neh what's up with everyone doing multiverse🙄 don't they know i was making these stuff up since ehh before spiderverse came out forsure🙄🙄#/j#but I really didnit was like my go to plot for falling asleep i hade self insert lore and universal police and empty space and cool shit
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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I wish So Bad that I could confidently recommend lob corp and library of ruina to people because they're both genuinely rly good games and I also need ppl I know to understand the insanity that is project moon but like godddd they are a fucking Investment. Both in time and in brainpower. I generally think ppl exaggerate how hard lob corp is but it's certainly not easy and when it does get hard it gets HARD. Also it literally requires at least one day 1 reset (basically a new game+) to fully beat the game and at this point I've done at least 10. And for lor I'm not nearly as far in and I'm just scratching the surface of the real game but it's a beast of its own. Also 100+ hours and also hard as hell. Like this game does not fuck around with its difficulty spikes it will make you use your brain and it will give you a damn headache in the process. It's also one of my favorite card combat games I've ever played with mechanics that just so beautifully complement each other to create a dynamic and interesting battle system that gives it a completely different vibe and feeling than any other deck builder games I've played to the point where it almost feels wrong to me to categorize them together. But also I am not even slightly joking abt the headache thing every time I play this damn game I close it with a horrible headache and have to take a multi day break. I think everyone should experience this with me <3
#rat rambles#for the record I have not played limbus company nor do I plan to but the cast is rly good and I know a lot of ppl vouch for it#let it be known if I ever do get around to reading limbus stuff I will become obsessed with outis shes so me bait#youre telling me shes a middle aged woman a war criminal and a bootlicker? sign me the fuck up#I <3 crusty dusty women who suck ass#also ofc don is also the beloved but thats a given#the real question would be which of the other limbus women would comsume my life#because theyre all contenders for characters that could make me go insane. for better or for worse.#also reason number 500 that everyone I know should play these games is that its sooooo fun to make project moon ocs#ofc I and I imagine most ppl mostly make nugget ocs (aka your employees and combat units in the first two games)#but like its just fun to make ocs in this world in general#the worldbuilding of this game is like 90% built on 'would that be fucked up or what?' and I adore it for that#theyll just be like yeah theres a whole faction that follows these things called prescripts which can range from super simple stuff to#literally impossible stuff and if you aren't able to follow them you will be killed and theres a guy whos job it is to hand them out and he#has to routinely inform people to their face that they have to destroy their lives or die and it eventually breaks him#and you go ok cool Im still not over the teleporting trains that dont actually instantly teleport but instead travel through pocket#dimensions over the course of thousands of years during which the passengers can be injured and mangled and feel pain but not die and it's#not uncommon for whole societies to be formed in them but once they arrive to their destination the state of all the passengers is#perfectly reverted back to their state uppon entering leading to them being none the wiser of anything that had previously happened to them#and they go yeah haha we liked love town too anyways wanna watch this robot have another mental breakdown#and you go fuck yeah and get your ass handed to you
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I am getting way too stressed over this and the more stressed i get the more i get confused and i ended up smoking one cigarette to calm now but now i am annoyed bc it made me feel weird and im annoyed at myself for using it to cope esp since i was doing a good job quitting it like not smoking for a long time and only smoking one cigarette or something for fun but i did it now to cope with stress which is baaaad. At one hand i know relapses happen and i shouldnt beat myself over it but still. Anyways i asked a friend for help now and hopefully i will figure it out before the deadline and wont feel like dropping out soon
#cecil.txt#Im just v stressed bc midterms are coming lmao#I just want a job idc about finishing this masters i already have a masters!!!!! Idc!!!!#But there is no fucking job!!!!!!!!! I just wanna do what i was trained for in masters!!!! Im qualified for a fucking internship at least#But aaaaaah#Like i couldnt find shit in sweden bc not enough jobs/internships for jrs + im not european which makes it even hardef#Now i cant find shit here in turkey bc again. Not enough jobs/internships#The economy sucks i just want a job that i can tolerate
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Ramblings in tags
#do you ever just get like??? paralyzed by how many things you COULD do???#like hi i have a job that shouldn't fuck with my disability too much#so now i can actually have a little bit of extra money at the end of the month to have fun with instead of only paying bills#i genuinely don't think I've had anything extra for like??? months???#like there's so much I wanna get and even though I haven't gotten paid yet it's just. killing me#like i wanna get a dog to hopefully train to be a service dog right??#but i also wanna get an actual drawing tablet so I don't have to only draw on my phone#BUT ALSO i need shit like a new binder since my current binders are 4+ years old#but yet again i wanna upgrade my room a bit and get some posters and some new blankets#again I just!! don't fucking know what to do first!!#this isn't a vent or anything im just like. stuck. mentally#theres just so much shit to do and buy#like i wanted to buy a new videogame a few weeks ago but I ended up needing to pay a bit extra in bills#OUUUUGHGHHH#there is. so much. to do#and i know i already said I'd spend the money on going on that trip#but thats really far off so i don't have to pay for that stuff first#plus i also genuinely need to think about if i wanna go or not
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presto (toronto/south ontario) // go pass (saskatoon) // opus (montreal/quebec city) // peggo (winnipeg) // arc (edmonton) // compass (vancouver) // metrobus (st john’s)
#presto supremacy tho and im not just saying that cause im from toronto#wanted to include lethbridge breeze cards but couldnt get a png of them. oh well#rip to winnipeg but ur cards suck. what the fuck is that#the metrobus cards r cool they have a couple different photos on them but i just went with that one#apologies if any of these r incorrect i have only been to a handful of these cities#its hard to label presto cards cause metrolinx is sort of. everywhere#i know ottawa has their own cards of oc transpo but they also use the normal cards#also i couldnt get a png of their cards. but i have seen them because half my job is putting money on presto cards lol#trains#anyways heres one for the canadians#we should all do this for our countries. can we get an eu blogger doing this i wanna see#to
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I feel really sick and ill about the guy at work who won’t take the hint actually like I’m home now sitting in my room and I feel Terrible. physically nauseous.
#like. I’m a recent manager I’m a very New manager#but even so. i was a manager when we hired him.#i was fresh like literally 3 weeks under my belt but even so#i interviewed and hired and trained him As His Manager#and he was super normal at first he would only ever text to ask questions about the job or the campus#but then he fucking. saw me on bumble.#so now he knows I’m single and available.#and actively looking for people. and he thinks he is people.#and he keeps asking me to hang out outside of work#he keeps talking to me about how at his last job he literally dated his boss#and like I’ve been joking about it up until now but it does not feel funny anymore it’s making me feel ill#bc today we worked a class together and afterwards I’m gathering my stuff and he was like#hey if you wanna hang out I’m down. I’m not doing anything. i get really bored and kinda lonely. wanna hang out?#and I was stunned into silence I didn’t know what to say I could tell he wanted me to commit to something Right That Second#and finally I just kept being like oh maybe. um maybe. idk maybe.#i felt soooo backed into a corner about it. and I was talking to juno and they pointed out. that he probably thinks I like him back#but I’m just shy. and/or deterred by being his manager.#and now that they’ve said that I 100% think that’s what’s happening and I’m so. I’m so. I’m so fucking upset about it.#i do not know what to do I think I might try to talk to our big boss about it but he’s just always so busy#i feel like an idiot#op
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story time with sari 😀
#im working on my CV rn and it made me rmb my first job at uni and how it ended and oh god why#i had to quit bc my mental health was so fucking shitty i couldnt deal with the work load so i went to one of my colleagues whos-#responsible for us student workers and i told him i had to quit and he asked why and i said bc of my health bc i cant lie but also didnt-#wanna tell the full truth and he very carefully asked whats wrong and i said i didnt wanna talk abt it was so awkward#AND THEN#at the time he wasnt only a phd student but also doing his psychotherapy training (insane man) and he happened to work at the practice-#where i went to get therapy at the time so basically what happened was that i sat in the waiting area and suddenly he comes walking around-#the corner and we just look at each other like 👁👄👁#and he left bc he was with a client but ten minutes later he came back super nervous and reassured me that hes under-#patient therapist confidentiality and that he wont tell anyone at work that he saw me there etc etc and it was NICE#but it was also . such a weird situation and my lil anxious mind was like well at least he knows i wasnt fucking lying !#why would he think that in the first place but oh well dhjdjdk#anyways i just got reminded of this bc i read the certificate i got from working there and it said i quit out of my own choice hdjdj#ah memories#also reminded me how im in a much better place now mentally which is nice bc i felt rock bottom yesterday lmao#okay story time with sari is over i gotta get back to writing that CV
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fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore
#she bork#tbd#like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is#insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not#hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a#fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!!#what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on#my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just#gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day#w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis#but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't#mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like#eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or#unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere#else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting#into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be#right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of#waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin#care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying#to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i#have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of#supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some#expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but#i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it#always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just#not doing it for me anymore#ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a#sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not#particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun
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,
#the harder i swim the faster i fucking sink#i actually tried my best to like. do something today. went to my sport practice that ive been skipping for weeks#and it sucked and i didnt like it and the girls there all ignored me (obviously because im never fucking there)#and i had to train with this tiny fucking annoying kid who kept walking away and leaving me alone#so i couldnt fucking do anything#and now im home and my entire body hurts and my mum told me to go away and im just. fuck !!#i KNOW its late and im just tired but dude im tired of my entire fucking life#i tried to pick out nice clothes today to help me feel better (bc i had been scrolling pinterest and was feeling so inspired)#but that just made me miserable <3 because im not a fucking pinterest girl and my closet is just random shit#not some fucking. aesthetic . and i never own the clothes that i wanna wear at that moment but i also can never find things i love in stores#and i cant believe im complaining about something as mundane as this i just. feel like shit rn#tried to do some painting and it didnt work bc i had zero inspiration and everything i made looked ugly as hell! so that was fun#i fucking. need to change something up. cut my hair weed out my closet change my room. because i am feeling sooo stuck in this life#first tho. i will go to bed#because of course i have fucking work tomorrow. i cant WAIT until april when i can finally stop at this fucking job#(well i say can. they fired me <3 but who cares i wanted to quit anyway)#this has been. a long rant. oops#i just hate that so often when i try to make a positive change it just . fucking sucks#but what can i do about it. not much!#goodnight anyone who read all this i'm sorry#sas.txt
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when the post workout worldcrushing depression hits 🤪
#cried for a solid 20 mins in the shower still sniffling now... im not even sad abt anything specific just been hit with an emotional train#its so weird bc ive been feeling less depressed than usual this last week so it feels so out of the blue#but just happens sometimes while/after i work out. who tf knows why#it makes me feel so stupid bc i love exercising + moving it helps me sleep and eat better and feel more confident in myself#and i get a strong sense of achievement from the things it allows my body to do and its a social thing for me too just so many benefits#but i NEVER fucking get the mood benefit its usually a neutral thing and then sometimes its like this what the FUCK is wrong w me#its like my brain just releases the wrong chemicals in response to it or smth idfk#whatever i guess. ill feel better in a bit#UGHHHHH AND NOW SOMEONE FROM A JOB JUST TEXTED ME. GIRL ITS 6:30PM CANT IT WAIT FOR TOMORROW :^/#bet its just for another rejection call. i dont wanna fucking do this right now#crawling into a hole in the ground to die whatever i need to make dinner#.diaries#.vent#urgh!!!!!!!!!!#ok fine its fine im fine. ill eat and then reply and make this call if i really have to rn or schedule it for tmr#and then go and lie in bed and listen to the national and cry myself to sleep early yayyyy#👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
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.
#ranting bc what the hell#normally id go to twitter for this but#that shit is far gone#the fuck kind of name is X#smh#anyway#cant stand to be home anymore#i need a JOB#i wanna go back to working at a cute cafe#being friendly with the regulars#giving away a free cookie or cheese bun to a kid and watching them be very shy but smiling#plus i cant fucking deal with BEING HOME ALL THE TIME#I HATE BEING HOME#BECAUSE I DONT FUCKING LEAVE MY BED#i hate home#seriously i can barely SLEEP now over here#to the point where i'd rather stay up all night doing god knows what and then getting on the subway literally just to SLEEP#because it's kinda comfortable to sleep on the train#well like. not Comfortable. but better than sleeping at home lately
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something new
pairing: miguel o'hara x f!reader
rating: explicit (18+)
cw: smut, afab!reader, fluff :3, grinding/dry humping, pussy-job, creampie, 'outercourse', soft boyfriend!mig
w/c: ~2k
a/n: rewrite of my old fic bc i need it with miguel. if you read it before ignore it ;^) mig looks like this fanart by @xynnoix
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You’re lounging on the sofa, legs resting in Miguel's lap and sitting in comfortable silence, when you decide to proposition him.
“I saw this video online and…I wanna try something with you.” He briefly looks up from his spider-pad, attention perked at your soft-spoken voice.
You beam at him from across the couch, an innocent smile slapped on your face as your lashes bat nicely against the tops of your cheeks.
Miguel simply shakes his head dismissively, “Cariño, we’re not doing any more MMA techniques.” He swiftly turns his attention back to his work, pointedly ignoring your childish pout. “You got hurt last time, remember?”
You let out an exaggerated sigh, “First, I didn’t even twist my ankle during the match! I literally slipped down the stairs when we left the training area. Secondly, that’s not even what I’m talking about!”
“Ok, then what is it? WWE moves?” He asks teasingly, eyes still focused on the screen.
“Actually…I wanna try outercourse-- i-is that how you say it?” You talk about it so casually that he doesn't even realize what you’re saying until he plays it back in his head a few times. The finger that was working through several urgent emails slows down as you continue to ramble.
“...Like pussy-jobs and grinding, I think. I don’t exactly know the technical terms that are involved, but it looked hot–” Your voice tapers off when you realize he’s looking at you.
His darkened gaze concentrates on your thighs that are unintentionally rubbing together as you recall your new interest.
You know that look. His glaze-over eyes, furrowed brows, and tense body mean one thing: he’s interested too.
Despite how worked up he is, Miguel manages to gently place his tablet on a side table before slowly wrapping his fingers around your ankles on his lap.
“So you want me to fuck you without actually fucking you?”
“Y-yes...?”
He hums, turning his whole body to face you.
He fluidly pulls your body down to lay flat on the couch in front of him, barely leaving any room for him to sit. You feel his hand tap the side of your thigh.
“Open up for me, baby.”
Your loose shorts hike up your thighs as you obediently spread your legs for him, kneesbending to make space for him to scoot closer to you. The pale pink fabric displays a dark splotch over your center, evidence of your arousal and lack of underwear underneath. Miguel tauntingly raises an eyebrow when he notices.
“Aw, is your pussy already leaking for me?” Your breath stutters as he lightly glides his finger over your covered cunt.
“J-just a little.” Your thighs threaten to close when you feel him prod shallowly against your entrance. He groans, noticing how his movements encourage your slick to soak through the flimsy fabric of your shorts.
You whine as you feel him pull away.
“Such a juicy slut for me.” He rasps, pushing himself closer to you so his head hangs over yours. Your head swims when you breathe in his comforting scent, he's so close, but you need him closer. Your body instinctively attempts to press up against him.
“Gimme a kiss, cariño.”
You immediately obey, wrapping your arms around his neck and locking your legs over his waist, effectively pulling his warmth into your space. He leans in and gently brushes his lips against yours, taking time to breathe you in as your gaze locks with his.
A breath is caught between you as you gaze into each other’s eyes, drinking each micro-expression on your face. Miguel lets out a soft sigh, "You're gorgeous."
And the intense mood breaks.
You pull away to lightly giggle into his chest, a soft blush blooming from the edge of your neck to the tops of your cheeks. He matches your smile, watching with amused eyes as you react to his flattery.
Somehow he can still make you feel unbearably giddy despite the months you’ve been dating.
You look back up with a crooked smile, “You’re pretty too, Spider-Man.”
Miguel dips his head in and captures your lips in his. He’s gentle at first, slowly savoring your lips with small nips and caresses. He runs the tip of his tongue over the edge of your bottom lip, trailing a line over the sensitive skin, then pushing further against your mouth.
You whine when he licks into your mouth, coaxing your tongue to mingle with him, to taste your mixed flavor of lust.
Your back arches when he presses a finger flush against your throbbing clit. it simultaneously sends warm ecstasy down your legs and up your spine, and you can feel your center pulsing, craving more.
Miguel leaves your mouth as he moves further up the couch to fit himself between your thighs. His forearms support his weight next to your shoulders as he gently lets his hips rest against yours. You can already feel his stiff cock twitching persistently between your bodies.
“Is this okay?” He asks, voice husky as he considers you under him.
Your eyes blearily blink up at him before you give him a shy nod, already looking thoroughly fucked out with your mussed hair and pink lips. He experimentally pushes down against you and starts to grind himself into your body with controlled strokes.
The rough texture of his jeans digs deliciously into your softness, barely subdued by the thin fabric of your shorts. Pleasure zips up your spine as he involuntarily ruts against your clit with each shove of his hips. You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, attempting to smother your cries into his skin.
“This what you wanted?” He growls, body hot and heavy against yours.
You feel yourself grow infinitely wetter, warmth spreading over your inner thighs. You whine as he twitches against you, your body hypersensitive to everything around you.
“Mm, fuck.” He feels your slick slowly travel through the thickness of his jeans.
He can barely hear your wrecked voice over the sound of his jeans rubbing over you and the couch rocking against the wooden floors.
“Wait.”
His hips stutter to a stop, “Wait?” Miguel's eyes look worried as he searches your face, wondering if something went wrong.
“I-I just want more.” You bite your lip nervously as you stare back at him, feeling guilty that you scared him.
The tension in his body slacks quickly, like cool water rushing down his back. “More?”
You nod sheepishly, “Uh-huh.”
He climbs off of you and kneels on the floor to your side, “Ok, can you show me?” His voice is soft and patient as he speaks to you.
He watches as you shove your hips upwards to tug off your shorts before throwing them to the side. You do the same with your tank top, then settle back into the couch cushions.
Your legs squeeze together as your sensitive nipples tighten when exposed to the cool air. You look over at Miguel who’s admiring your bare body next to you, “You too.” He immediately pulls off his shirt and shoves down his jeans before rejoining you.
Miguel kneels on the couch and pushes your legs up to reveal your dripping pussy, leaking messily from your rutting session a few minutes ago. He slaps himself over your warmth, spreading your slick over your cunt and watching it drip down to your ass.
“Such a pretty pussy.”
Before you know what’s happening, he positions himself against your entrance and tries to push into your cunt, tip slowly slipping into you with ease. He groans as your cunt instinctively sucks him in, walls fluttering as he begins to stretch you.
“No–wait, that’s not what we’re doing!” You simultaneously scoot away and squeeze your legs together once you catch on to what’s happening.
“What-”
“Outside, Mig, remember? Only outside.” You push up and lean against the couch arm, hair poofed adorably around you. “Here, I’ll show you. Lay down where I was.” You direct, moving off the couch to give him enough room.
“Okay.” He takes your place, cock bobbing with his movements as it stays desperately hard for you. You bite your lip as your eyes trace the happy trail that graces his lower stomach. God, he's delicious.
You straddle yourself over his hips, admiring how delectable he looks below you, hot and ready for you to climb on. He watches you with anticipation as you position yourself his erection that rests against his stomach.
His breath hitches when you sit your full weight onto him, the pressure makes him throb against the seam of your cunt. You experimentally rub yourself against the silken skin of his cock, barely holding yourself up on your knees to make it easier to move. He groans as you spread your warmth over his cock and the bottom of his muscled torso.
“So wet for me, baby.” He looks up at you with heavy eyes, his top lip barely covering his protruded fangs. His hand squeezes the top of your thigh when you lock eyes.
A small piece of your hair sways over his forehead with each movement of your hips. As you grind over him, the head of his cock nudges delectably against your clit causing you to clench around nothing every time it hits you.
You pathetically puff out breaths as your stomach tightens in heat, eyes already threatening to roll to the back of your head. Lewd wet sounds lick between your bodies as you fluidly slick yourself against him.
Your thighs shake as you get closer to the edge, hips slowing down as the white-hot pleasure ripples through your body. Miguel licks his lips and takes initiative, canting his hips upwards in sync with yours, slipping himself more firmly against you.
He pulls your arms off of his chest and gathers them behind your back. Your spine arches prettily for him, ass stuck out behind you. In this position, you’re forced to surrender yourself to every push of his hips and slip of his cock.
It’s electrifying. You cry out when your orgasm pulls you under its firey wave. Your thighs clench around his hips as your body trembles above him. The sparks refused to flicker off as Miguel continues to rut against you, body tenses as he meets his end as well.
He thrusts one final glide of his cock through the soaked petals of your cunt before abruptly pushing into you, overwhelming your senses with the painfully exquisite sensation of being stretched all at once.
He growls as your warmth wraps around him, fluttering prettily as he shoves himself deep inside.
He stutters inside of you, pushing himself incredibly deep inside of you as he cums and cums, filling you to the brim. A satisfying warmth pools at the bottom of your stomach as he paints your walls, soothing your weak body as it recovers from your orgasm.
You collapse onto Miguel's body, ignoring how unbearably hot it is as your bodies try to cool down. His heart beats heavily next to yours and everything slows down. He hums under you, gently stroking a hand against your back .
You don’t know how long you lay there, enjoying each other’s company, but you're half awake by the time Miguel gets up, with you, boneless, in his arms.
“How does a bath sound, mi vida?” You lazily look up at him as he carries you to the bathroom with ease. His voice is still so...sultry.
“Am just I weak or something?” Your voice rasps harshly, “How are you not fighting the urge to pass out right now?”
He nuzzles his face into your body, pecking a kiss against your sweat-stick throat. “I could actually go again if you'd like..."
#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara smut#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara smut#miguel o’hara
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" LEMME HIT YOU WITH THAT DUMB DICK ! "
𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 — dazai, chuuya, jouno (+ tecchou), oda, sigma x fem!reader
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 & 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — [n]sfw content, somnophilia, these are random scenarios ok don't come at me, degradation, humiliation, doggystyle, rough, getting caught, pussy slapping, s.ex at work, oral (m & f receiving), fingering, piv, unprotected s.ex (be careful babes), praise, creampie + etc • this was originally supposed to be their fav places to fuck but i had to scrap that bc i lost motivation :') anyway, happy reading and i hope you enjoy !! not proofread soz babes
ps. reblog to show your favorite writers support, they're greatly appreciated ! <3
⁰¹ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 — fucking you in a storage room of the agency
This man is a sex fiend, so of course he would love to fuck you literally anywhere anytime. Though he can't lie, being balls deep in your juicy little cunt at work — risking both of your dignities and possibly your jobs has him harder than a fucking rock.
"Osamu— what if we g-get caugh— mmh-!" you let out a muffled moan as dazai delivered a particularly harsh thrust into your cunt, effectively shutting you up. "Relaaaax, sweet thing — almost no one c-comes here — fuck, you're so damn tight," Dazai panted into your ear, hot breath making a chill run down your spine — back arching even further against his chest.
"God, you're so good f'me — so warm 'n right, fuck!" each word was rushed, dripping with lust — the desperation in his voice made you wanna look at his pretty face, pussy clenching just from imagining how good he'd look with his hair disheveled — his usual doe eyes narrowed and a deep blush covering his skin, sweat dripping down his forehead and making his hair stick to his forehead —
Your train of thought got cut off abruptly when Dazai slapped his hand over your mouth, before his hushed voice reached your ears, "shh, stay still f'me, sweetheart."
You were about to question it when you heard the president's voice from just behind the door. The door of the room you were currently getting your back blown out in.
"Yes, I keep hearing strange noises from this one room in particular," you heard fukuzawa's muffled voice — the thought of your boss catching you in the act made your pussy flutter around Dazai’s length, making the brunette grunt in response.
"Are you trying to get us caught, darl'?" Dazai hissed into your ear — oops, you unintentionally clenched down again upon hearing the keys jingle from the other side of the door. Luckily Dazai was ready for it this time, and managed to bite down on your shoulder before he could get a sound out.
"W-what do we do, 'samu? He’s gonna come in!" you whisper-yelled, panic settling in your bones when you saw the doorknob rattle — but before he could unlock the door fully, you heard the high pitched voice of another worker, "president! an important client has come to personally see you."
"Hm, alright. looks like i'll have to tell someone else to take a look in this room later. Let’s go,"
You let out a breath of relief once the footsteps faded away, leaving you both in complete silence until dazai decided to speak up —
"You clenched reaaal hard when he was about to open the door — don't tell me you actually wanted us to get caught, did you, naughty girl?"
⁰² 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 — having you suck him off in his office
Chuuya's job as an executive of the mafia is stressful, to say the least. Not to mention some of the idiotic workers not doing their job right never fails to make his blood pressure go especially high — his anger issues doesn't help his case at all. But what does help is his sweet sweet girlfriend giving him some... 'under the table service' at work.
Chuuya's fist slammed against the hardwood desk, a loud 'thwack!' echoing in the room,
"What the fuck were you thinking?!" he sneered at the poor man in front of him — who couldn't help but flinch at seeing his boss so angry at him failing to complete a simple report.
Truth be told, Chuuya wasn’t really that mad at the worker, for the report at least — he was just.. super on edge from you deep-throating his cock under the goddamn table. He struggled to think properly, and the poor worker interrupting his private moment with you really ticked him off. Can you really blame him though?
How could he think straight with your skilled tongue swirling around his glossy tip so sinfully — fucking tease. Oh and the way you peered up at him through lowered lashes, your eyes glazed with a dreamy haze.
It all made his head spin like crazy.
“-ir, I can re-do it if you would like me to..” Chuuya’s train of thought unfortunate got cut off short, blue eyes snapping back to the man before him — right, the report.
“A-ahem — alright. Have it finished by 6 pm.”
Chuuya hated the way his voice cracked, fingernails digging into the palms of his hands as he tried not to moan out loud when you fully took him nose deep in that right, sweet little throat— shamelessly rutting your hips into his crazy expensive slacks, rubbing your juices all over the smooth, polished material.
You felt Chuuya’s fingers entangle themselves in your hair immediately after hearing the ‘click’ of the door shutting — the guy must’ve finally left.
You couldn’t help but gasp as you were pulled up from the cold, hard floor — and being shoved onto the desk instead.
You felt your pussy throb in your lacy panties as Chuuya spread your legs open — two fingers pressing and prodding at your cunt before sliding the flimsy material to the side,
“Now, let’s get into the real fun, shall we darl’?”
⁰³ 𝐉𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐎 — teaching tecchou how to eat you out properly
Jouno was a good friend. Even though he might've had a tendency to be a little harsh and.. sadistic at times, he wasn't a bad person. I mean, he had to be atleast a decent person for teaching his inexperienced co-worker how to eat pussy — specifically, his own girlfriend's.
"No, not like that you fucking idiot —" Jouno grumbled, pulling Tecchou's head off of your cunt as he blinked in confusion like a lost puppy, sticky strings of your arousal still attached to his lips. "What do you mean? She's clearly enjoying it.."
"I mean that you can do better. You do want to make her feel fuckin' amazing, don't you?" Jouno raised a questioning brow. "Well, of cour—" "Then start acting like it."
A gasp left your honeyed lips when Tecchou's face was pushed back against your cunt — hot tongue working with even more fervor as he ate you out like he had been starving for days.
"Oh fuck — feels so g-good, sai," you whimpered out — head thrown back and your tongue threatening to loll out from the sheer pleasure the man between your legs was giving you. "Yeah, baby? Feels good when Tecchou eats that sweet cunt out reaaaaal good, huh?" Jouno's tone was condescending — his lips curled up into a cocky smirk.
“Y’smell so sweet - taste so sweet -” Tecchou's voice was low and dripping with need — your pussy throbbed from just how desperate he sounded.
"A-ah shit - can feel you throbbin' on my tongue, princess —" he groaned, tongue flattening against your clit as he shook his head side to side.
You babbled out Jouno’s name like a prayer — all while the man between your legs worshipped your cunt like it was his god, pink tongue repeatedly flicking your clit, making you see stars as your hole stretched around two of his slim fingers.
“Please — wanna c-cum s’ba- mmh!- ,” you let out a strangled noise as a harsh slap landed on your soaked pussy, clit throbbing as you threw your head back once more. “Fuckin’ slut, so damn eager to cum on another man’s tongue in front of your boyfriend, hmm?”
“Don’t — ah fuck, squeezin’ so tight ‘round my fingers, baby - don’t be so mean, Jouno,” Tecchou threw a side glare to the man next to him, which only earned a shrug from said man, “quit talking and enjoy the meal, dumbass. She’s close.”
And enjoy the meal he did — lapping up every single drop of your sweet juices so enthusiastically you’d think that he hadn’t eaten in days.
⁰⁴ 𝐎𝐃𝐀 — morning sex with him
Mornings with your husband, Oda Sakunosuke, were sweet, blissful and filled with love. Sometimes he'd surprise you with breakfast in bed, it's the least he can do considering everything that you do for him, is what he says. But sometimes — you crave him instead of the delicious food.
“My pretty girl,” Oda smiled sleepily, moving some of your hair out of your face to admire your effortless beauty — blissfully unaware to how his deep morning voice made your heart flutter in your chest, and your pussy throb with need.
You grinned back, scooting closer into his arms as you gazed into his deep brown eyes, “pretty enough to fuck?”
Oda raised a questioning eyebrow, full lips curling into a grin, "oh? that's the game we're playing, love?" Strong arms wrapped around your bare figure, the marks of last night still fresh on your skin — a reminder to how he fucked you dumb on his cock only a few hours prior.
You felt your face burn from the memories of last night rushing back into you — god, you two were insatiable - you're sure Oda fucked you in every single position in the book, and it did nothing but make you crave him more.
"Still with me, darling?" he lightly tapped your cheek, snapping you back to the present. You nodded, a gasp falling from your lips as big, calloused hands found themselves groping at your tits, pinching at your cute nipples as he pressed open mouthed kisses on your neck — his stubble tickling the sensitive skin there.
"O-oda—"
"shhh, baby — lemme do all the work, yeah?"
And that's how you ended up with your face pressed into the pillows — silken bedsheets tangled around your bodies as Oda fucked his fat girth into your sopping cunt nice 'n deep.
A large hand was pressing your back into the meanest arch ever — strong hips slamming against the fat of your plush ass with each deep thrust, thick mushroom tip prodding at your g-spot - making you bleat out your husband's name pitifully. Oda only pushed your head deeper into the soft pillows — clearly too lost in the feeling of your velvety walls clenching around him.
He watched his cock slipped in and out of your pussy so easily — your slick covering his balls down to his thighs. Oda groaned deeply in his throat as he watched a creamy ring form around the base of his cock — your cunt sucking him in so eagerly that he almost thought it hurt for you to let him go.
You let out a particularly loud moan as Oda's cock hit that one spot in you — you could only bite down on the pillow as your eyes shut closed, pussy slobbering shamelessly all over his length.
"Oh? Did you like— argh! - t-that spot, sweet girl?"
⁰⁵ 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐌𝐀 — fucking you in your sleep
Sigma was a busy man — with running the sky casino and being part of the decay of angels didn't leave too much alone time with just him and you — especially for some.. intimacy. You knew he needed to relieve himself someway — all that workload while being pent up as fuck certainly wasn't good for him. Plus, you have been craving him as well.. so you came up with an easy solution.
The door to your shared bedroom clicked open — your beloved boyfriend, Sigma, letting himself in as his eyes racked over the entire room, searching for anything out of the ordinary — you did tell him that you had a surprise for him, after all.
Upon finding nothing, he stalked over to the bed, confusion lacing his features as he glanced over at your sleeping form. Slender hands slowly slipped the soft blanket off of you and oh —
It all clicked suddenly.
The lavender coloured lace suited your complexion so perfectly, the expensive material hugging your features like it was made for you. Sigma gulped, eyes fixating on the way your tits were practically spilling out of the flimsy fabric — your stiff nipples very much visible to his hungry gaze.
It wasn't long before he had his face buried between your plush thighs — Sigma was so desperate, not even bothering to take the lingerie off your body. Besides, why would he when you just looked way too good in it?
He was practically eating you out through the thin lace — nose bumping against your clothed clit as his tongue tried to push deeper into your cunt. You had him in a chokehold — but he couldn't care less.
Sigma's slim hips were rutting into the expensive sheets — precum leaking from his sensitive tip as he tried his best not to cum untouched just from tasting your sweet pussy, but fuck, you were making it so hard for him.
He felt his cock throb in his pants when you started letting out soft moans and sighs in your sleep — or were you even asleep anymore? He didn't know and neither did he care — mind too focused on making you cum on his pretty face.
"ohh s-shit — best surprise - sluurrp - e-ever—" he whined into your cunt, spitting directly into your sticky hole before slurping it all back up.
Safe to say, he definitely enjoyed your little surprise.
© 𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐘𝐎 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 ─ do not copy/translate/repost and/or recommend any of my works on different platfroms under any circumstances. reblogs greatly appreciated !
#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader smut#bungou stray dogs smut#bsd#bsd smut#bsd x reader smut#bsd x reader#dazai smut#dazai x reader#dazai x reader smut#chuuya x reader#chuuya smut#chuuya x reader smut#jouno x reader#jouno smut#jouno x reader smut#tecchou smut#tecchou x reader#tecchou x reader smut#oda smut#oda x reader#oda x reader smut#sigma x reader#sigma smut#sigma x reader smut#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#jouno saigiku#tecchou suehiro
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smut 18+ only, fucking jason on the kitchen floor, feral horny afab reader who wants to maul jason, unprotected sex, breeding kink, submissive jaytodd!!! rock on!!!
The first time you go absolutely batshit feral over Jason, he's cleaning the apartment.
He's done nothing to provoke your ferality (he never does), and usually, you keep it to yourself. Thoughts like if I were a vampire I'd suck his blood and I need my boyfriend to hold me down until I orgasm or pass out, whichever comes first, are inside thoughts, and you do a great job at keeping them as such.
So you're not quite sure what compels you to act the way that you do.
First, Jason's in clothes that don't help your insanity. The shirt is Dick's (Jason insists that he did NOT have an emo phase, thank you), so the cropped quality of the My Immortal t-shirt isn't by design. Jason's just big.
Yes, yep, your boyfriend sure is a big boy. That's all you can think about as you watch him over the top of your open book while he attacks the kitchen floor with his Swiffer Jet. He's humming a song you don't recognize.
You love him so much. The thought hits you square in the chest. You love Jason Todd. A lot. A lot a lot a lot.
The next thought that hits you is how soft and squishy your boyfriend is. Jason's sweatpants are baggy, the baggiest he could find, and they still can't hide how humongous his thighs are. His thighs are pure muscle, but when not in the middle of a fight, they are soft. Bitable. Very bitable.
Your gazes moves to the strip of belly that flexes and flutters with every movement. Jason's stomach isn't perfectly flat, a fact that you know sometimes bothers him. You take care to treat it delicately, not wanting him to be self-conscious even though every part of him makes you rabid.
You want to kiss Jason's stomach. Feel it twitch under your hand as you do, uh... other stuff besides kissing. You love watching Jason in action, love watching him wield his powerful body. But you also love him like this: using his body to take care of himself, his space, and you.
Jason's arms. You could write prose poetry on such magnificent creations. More than once you've had the urge to wrap one of Jason's arms around your neck and let him squeeze until you lose consciousness. Another inside thought! Jason would staunchly refuse and probably get you checked for head trauma if you requested such a thing, but you can dream.
Once or twice, Jason's flexed for you, silly and smiley. You've managed to hide just how fucking hot you found it. It's been well over a year and you still want to jump your boyfriend. You try to keep it to a manageable level, not wanting to startle or overwhelm him. You know Jason's complicated relationship with his body. You respect his boundaries.
But still, the thoughts linger...
Your feet carry you to the kitchen before you can think about it. Jason's done with the mop and has moved to wiping the counters. You seize the opportunity to get behind him.
"Hey, baby," Jason says before you reach him. He keeps wiping. And that's another thing: Jason is highly competent. His training makes him hear you before you've reached him. If you were an evil goon, you'd be on the floor before you could inhale. You also find that concerningly hot.
You stick yourself to his back and wrap your arms around his stomach. You grab handfuls of the layer of fat that covers his muscles, brushing your thumbs over where his hair thickens below his bellybutton.
"What's up, hm?" Jason asks, patting your hand.
"You're really hot," you say.
He snorts, glances behind at you. "I'm what now?"
"Hot. Juicy. I wanna maul you."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah," you say peacefully, groping his waist. "Soon as possible."
"I'm free for a mauling in ten minutes. That work for you?"
"I don't know if I can wait that long." You slip your hands up his shirt. "Mind if I feel you up while I wait?"
Jason laughs but it comes out a little airy. "You're a menace."
"I'm crazy about you."
"Mm, I've noticed. Feeling's mutual."
"No, no." You move your head so that your mouth is on his exposed bicep. You feel the hot flesh in your mouth, lave your tongue over it for some time. As soon as it flexes, you bite the hard muscle.
Jason drops his dishcloth. You soothe your teeth marks with your tongue.
"You don't understand," you say, shifting so you're pressing Jason against the counter edge. He lets you keep him there. "I'm crazy about you. I wanna eat you, Jay. Let me eat you."
"Jesus, what's gotten into ya?" he asks, turning his head to look at you.
"Hopefully you," you say, unrepentant.
Jason's eyes widen. You adore how squirmy he gets whenever you're bold about wanting him. Despite how long you've known each other, Jason never fails to get flustered. Perhaps that's half the fun.
"C'mon, Jay, let me fuck you. I wanna fuck you on the kitchen floor," you say, past coyness.
He full-body shudders. "I jus' cleaned."
You grin against his arm, pawing at his hip. "I'll help you mop again, honey pie. Deal?" You're eyeing his stomach next, ready to suck his skin there.
Jason can't deny you for long. You both know that.
"You're persuasive," he says, eyelids fluttering.
You hum. "Didn't take much, though, did it? Is your dick hard already?" You squeeze him through his sweats. Jason whines, bracing himself against the counter. "Never takes long, huh? You're always ready for me in no time, stud. Ready to fill me up, right?"
"Oh m'God," he says, looking at you like you're divine. That look swells your ego every time.
"Is that a yes?" You cup his balls like you're choosing a bull for breeding. Jason buckles under your brazenness. "Yes, you want me to let you fuck my pussy? Yes, you want me to fuck you on the floor?"
"Yeah, yeah, please."
So Jason lets you push him down onto the tiles. You yank his sweats down first, then his underwear. He's already leaking onto his stomach.
"Fuck," you say, grabbing and holding Jason's wrists on either side of his head. "You gonna give me what I want, sweetie? Love of my life, handsomest guy I've ever seen?"
Jason nods vigorously. "Yeah, yes, an-anything y'want. Oh my God, I'm s-so hard. I love you. Y'so nice to me."
You smile gently.
"I'm nice for taking you on the kitchen floor, huh?" you ask, bending your knees and lining up his cock to your cunt. "What if I make you wait until I come first?"
Jason nods again, already breathing hard. "I want to, I wanna wait. You should come first. I want you to come first. I don't have ta come at all."
You raise an eyebrow. That's new. New, but not unwelcome.
"So even when I..." You sink down on his cock, just the tip. Jason whimpers in the back of his throat. "Do that? You don't need to come?"
You feel him flex under your hands but he's good and stays put. He doesn't break your hold even though he could. You grin.
"Oh-oh. Sweet boy. My best guy. Look at you, big and hard. You could take me if you wanted, but you don't want that, do you? You want me to take what I want from you. All that muscle and strength, but what d'you need, Jaybee? Hm? Tell me."
"Need you," he says, voice strained. "Need you to do whatever y'want."
You kiss under his jaw and dig your nails into his wrists. Then you sink further onto Jason's cock. His hips twitch but he doesn't thrust like he usually does.
"Will you kiss me?" he asks when he bottoms out, body strung tight like a bow.
"I did kiss you," you say, smiling into his neck.
"On th'lips," Jason says, fingers shaking. "Please? Please."
You thread your fingers with his to steady them. Then you lean in to kiss his mouth. Jason moans, greedily kissing you back. You begin to move. Jason's shoulders tense.
"You're so perfect," you say against his lips. "You'd be so perfect at knocking me up. Any time I wanted, you'd be hard and ready to come in me, right?"
"Ah-ah," Jason says, voice wrecked. "Y-yeah, yeah. As much as y'want. Do anything y'want. I'd do anything."
"Yeah, I know," you say, grunting as you slide back onto him. "I know, sweetheart. Pretty boy. Y'dunno what you got with this fat cock. Can barely speak when your dick's wet."
You do a particularly hard grind and growl against Jason's sweaty throat. You lick the salt from his Adam's apple, feel it bob against your tongue. Then you bite.
"Oh, oh," he whines, and your gut tightens further at his sounds.
"Don't come," you snarl, pussy like a vice. "I come first."
Jason shakes his head, lips parted. His pulse throbs against your mouth. "No, no, won't. I won't. I'm good. I'll be good. 'M I good?"
You pet his hair, voice softening. "You're good, Jason. So good, baby. So good that I gotta take you right here on the floor. You understand, right? I was aching over there, watching you. I had to fuck you. Had to use your big dick for something."
"Uh-huh," he says, voice wet and sticky with pleasure. "Y'had to. I can do it. I wanna be good for you."
He looks up at you, and you're struck again by your difference in size, and how easy Jason gets when he's inside of you. You feel that familiar tightness, the edge of your impending orgasm.
"Rub my clit," you say, letting go of his right hand, and Jason obeys instantly, locating and deftly rubbing your clit.
"Harder," you tell him, and he rubs harder. Your mouth falls open as the pleasure swells. "Yeah. This is what you're made for. Pleasing me."
One of these days, you'll broach the subject of Jason putting those muscles to good use and fucking you doggy-style, whining in your ear as he shoots load after load into you.
"I'm gonna come," you say, cunt tightening. "Are you gonna come?"
Jason shakes his head desperately. "No. No, no, y'said not to. Not gonna come!"
"A-are you sure?" you ask, grinning as Jason makes uh-uh's in the back of his throat.
"Won't come, I promise, won't come," he says, near tears.
You come, tightening hard around Jason's cock. He nearly howls, the corners of his eyes wet, tendons pulled taut in his neck.
But he doesn't come, true to his word.
Sloppily, you kiss him. Jason kisses you back, but it's frenzied. You know his brain must be soup with the effort it's taking to not come.
"Look at you," you say, gaze hungrily roving over Jason's swollen nipples, his red face, his drawn eyebrows. "You listened so well. Y'wanna touch me? Wanna hold me?"
Jason nods frantically. "Yeah, yeah, please, baby, please, can I?"
"Go ahead, sweetheart. Hold me how you want and make yourself come. Don't be gentle."
Jason hesitates at the last direction. "Don't be gentle? Are y'sure?"
You pinch his nipple lightly. Jason bucks his hips. Your eyes narrow.
"I'm sure. Gimme everything you got, big guy."
You bite your lip as Jason's body comes alive, strength kicking in as he draws your thighs up over his hips, plants his feet, and drives into you. He punches the air out of you with each thrust, sobbing as he does. You hold on to his arms as he moves.
It only takes him a few thrusts before hot cum fills your pussy. Your eyes roll back at the feeling, nails scratching Jason's biceps.
"I want more," you say, grinding shallowly against his cock. Jason cries out, and more cum fills you.
"Was that good?" Jason asks, holding you closer.
You grin. "We're definitely doing that again."
Except, maybe not right after Jason's cleaned. You're not that mean.
#jason todd x reader#jason todd smut#red hood x reader#red hood smut#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#red hood x you#red hood imagine#dc fanfiction#batman fanfiction#jason todd fanfiction#smut#im feralllll
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im just gonna be petty ignore me
are you ever training someone and eventually it gets to a point where you just like
give up on them lol
#she's well past probation and has received the most targeted organized training effort I've ever seen in my 9 years at this clinic#like my training was the equivalent of Uncle stew throwing you in the deep end for swim class#now we've got fucking hand outs. we have a training calendar. we have one designated trainer. we have meetings. we're all nice. all mapped.#everyone has made such an effort for this person#but she has the most trouble focusing of anyone I've ever worked with#and yes she has adhd and is upfront about it. but in this work adhd doesn't mean you get to wander off from active medical procedures.#either you find a solution that works or you accept your limitations and find a better environment#i can't go into the five months trying to work with her but it's been a very frustrating very defensive very unsuccessful process#the event that triggered this rant was: she was getting trained on sedated shave downs. a pretty entry level procedure.#even though the sedation is quite safe it IS still sedation. you have to monitor and have full focus. I've had patients crash under sedatio#so she's getting trained by our lead who's demonstrating the shave on one side then she's let trainee do the other#during the demonstration the trainee is constantly in her notebook. lead assumes she's taking notes and asks about it#turns out she's DRAWING. DRAWING DOGS. PRACTICING DOG ANATOMY FOR HER DRAWINGS. she said as much. that it was for-#-drawing purposes. not learning or monitoring purposes.#she then said she was using it as a focusing tool because in the five minutes they'd been there she'd wanted to walk away three times#from boredom and distraction#lead immediately (and very gently as we were all in the same treatment area and witnessed this from afar) starts breaking that down#it's unacceptable to be drawing when you're supposed to be monitoring. i get what you're trying to do. i get it. im also a focused doodler.#but this animal is literally at your mercy right now. whether or not they wake up is ON YOU and unless you're drawing their fucking-#-vital signs i don't wanna see your nose in a book. like come the fuck on. come on.#she argued but the lead eventually said listen if you are constantly fighting the urge to wander away from an anesthetized patient-#-then i will never allow you to do surgeries. full stop.#this turned into a very defensive conversation after which she shut down because she insisted that's how she learns. which. again. i get.#but this isn't school. and you can't walk the walk. and we've tried to accommodate and train in a variety of ways for 5 months.#the level of reliability she's at is so so low for how much training and experience she's received#any criticism is interpreted as bullying no matter how gentle#and if it's too gentle it doesn't fucking work. we've all reached points where we resort to nagging just to make sure she's doing her job#and i understand why she's frustrated and feels singled out but again#if you are putting an anesthetized patient at risk i am not going to be nice about it. distraction during surgery can get patients killed.#there's always a level of confliction over getting so frustrated with people like this because i've been there but seriously..
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