phthonos-superstar

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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

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NEW !!! SNAKE DISCOVERED

ITS CALLED THE LIMESTONE EYELASH PIT VIPER. THAT iS SO CUTE. ITS SO PRETTY

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I could never be a protagonist because I'd just never move the plot along. "You have free reign of this castle, but don't go into this one area" Okie dokie. I mind my own business and hang out in the library. Queen of staying in my own lane. I'll never discover your magic curse.

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my earnest hope for 2025 is that everyone embraces being a little weirder and freakier and less judgmental bc we will all be better off for it like to charge reblog to cast

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Classy Creeps

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gothic horror rlly is just. aw fuck look at what youve done. the house has inherited your inter-generational trauma and in response has transformed itself into a metaphorical device to track the decay of the family. we're never gonna pay off that mortgage now

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yes hi we are job website, we have plenty of diverse jobs for you! so do you want to do manual labor or get yelled at on the phone? those are the two options isn't our economy so ripe with opportunity

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oh no my pornography is turning into an angst-filled character study

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Why does basil smell so fucking amazing

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i was trying to make a meme but i fucked up the audio layering and

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Tumblr just put a fcuking harry potter post on my feed as a "recommendation based on your likes"

Why not recommend me smallpox next. Or arthritis maybe.

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faithful lamb

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You know you've fucked up when you go to a doctor and the thing you have wrong with you has been named after an occupation that isn't a thing anymore. Like imagine a doctor looking at you and going "yeah you've got ox-drawn ploughman's disease. We don't even test for that anymore. Yeah the reason you've never heard of it is because the last known case was in 1927 and happened to some guy who was like 98 years old and didn't believe in modern medicine of the time. What the fuck have you been up to."

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thorne/emmrich is very endearing to me because it gets me every time to imagine a grim-faced warden being like, with the sacrifices i’ve made, with the blight coursing through my veins, i could likely never have children of my own. the only child i will ever have... is this Actual Skeleton i’m co-parenting