#But the time for it to die was yesterday

[dandelion-stuff-and-fluff]

I swear to god, every time I read "your bladder and bowels empty when you die," I feel like curb stomping a kitten.

No.

Your muscles stop working. If you're actively contracting a sphincter muscle to hold in your urine or feces while you're alive, then yeah, some portion is probably gonna come on out to party once that muscle stops contracting.

If not? What the hell do you think is going to force them out? Most people cannot defecate on command on a good day, using all of their abdominal muscles (for real, tho, ask the makers of Ex-lax and Metamucil). If those abdominal muscles aren't working and there is no pressure built up from actively holding it in? lolNO

Maybe a little drizzle. A little poozle. A little drippy drip.

The foretold excremental explosion is not going to happen unless you JUMP ON THE DECEASED'S BELLY. Good luck with that.

Source: I working in a fucking anatomy lab and have spent too many hours of my life trying to prevent poop explosions and siphoning bladders dry with turkey basters to keep entertaining this nonsense.

[expelliarmus]

[ricky-mortis]

He’s such a goofy silly guy!

[notadwarf-planet]

part 2 of hatchetfield text posts!!

[profoundmakerdreamerss-blog]

Give me a tomarry/harrymort au where Voldemort loses his memories and tries to kill Harry, with whom he is in an established relationship by then. Give me the angst, give me the fear, the agony of having to run away from the person you love— the burning anger as one wakes up beside his enemy. And then comes the earth shattering horror as the memories hits. Give me the all consuming regret and the crippling grief after Voldemort remembers what he has done or nearly did, but by then Harry is already gone.

Giving me the scene where Harry is smiling at Voldemort and Voldemort is befuddled. The scene where Voldemort sends his first crucio at Harry, who for some reason is looking at him, his mortal enemy with utter trust. The part where Harry looks at him with grief and confusion and V feels something break in him— a part that gets dwarfed by the seething rage, for he thinks Harry is playing with him, he thinks this is some elaborate scheme and so, he attacks, and for the first time in years Harry runs for him because he doesn't want hurt Voldemort.

[b4kuch1n]

wizard of both ways

[tabooiart]

completely normal teenage boy

[arom-antix]

Viktuuri week day 7: Soulmates

[saetoru]

haven’t written in weeks and idk how to formulate words anymore but anyway before i log out again for the month here’s the in progress stuff coming for january

nerd! gojo fic

ex-convict! geto fic

gojo fix-it fic (i’m rewriting canon thank you 👍🏽)

[cryinginthedeep]

natalie wee, "least of all", Our Bodies & Other Fine Machines

(x, x, x, x, x)

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

Calling all Dair shippers!!!!!

I want to start reading fan fiction of them, but I have no idea where to begin.

My only requirements are that it's in English (why must you be the only language my stupid brain could leadn), is an AU and that (while I don't mind if he shows up) Chuck doesn't get any kind of a redemption arc like if he's in the story I want the narative to treat him like the villain he is (the same with Louie tbh but I'm guessing he dosn't get much focus).

I would also prefer it if it took place when they're adults (but I'm willing to give fics of them getting together sooner a try).

So, if you know of any fics that fit that description, please leave your recommendations in the comments.

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

My husband has officially destroyed the lawn. He soaked the entire front yard in weedkiller. "Faster than waiting for it to compost."

The soil is now destroyed and a barren wasteland. I had planned on composting the yard in order to make it fertile and ready for native wildflowers. It would've been cheap and just a couple years od waiting.

Now?

Gotta remove all the destroyed soil and replace it because this is poison. Nothing will grow in it.

"Make it a box and pot garden."

That's actually more expensive. I need to acquire containers and soil, and something to cover what is now dirt because there are no roots holding anything down. This is a disaster.

He's upset I'm not grateful about him saving me time and work.

I cannot plant anything in the ground. This will take years to replace, and a lot more money.

This man wants to cover the backyard in cement and rocks with just a container garden. The only thing stopping him is lack of money and everyone else informing him he is being very stupid.

Any suggestions for how to deal with the dust bowl disaster of a front yard? It's full sun, zero shade, and likely little to no rain until September. I want wildflowers, native plants, plants that can help dirt recover into soil, attract butterflies and birds, low maintenance (wildflowers self-seed), and possibly a herb tower.

[nooradeservedbetter]

Morning Comes

By Stria on AO3

The stranger gestures at what they’re wearing, and oh, it’s not a shirt, it’s a white crop top, black lettering star against it. It says I ♡ SUBMISSIVE MEN in bold, capital letters.

One Shot || Harry/Louis || ~5k

Written for the @bhficfest

[keeps-ache]

skykids :D !!

[Eien belongs to my brother Leo, Pepeka belongs to @euclid-dragon !!]

[lady-a-stuff]

What makes loml the saddest song for me is that she isn't talking about just losing him, it's losing all her dreams about getting married and have kids, it's losing hope she'll find the forever (the prophecy), she didn't lose only him, this relationship, she's hopeless now, she lost everything, therefore the loss of my her life

[puppyeared]

isnt it great when u take your adhd meds and instead of using that brainpower for stuff like ASSIGNMENTS. AND PROJECTS. your brain decides the next 6 hours will be brainstorming ponysona names and making oc playlists