#But the evil of this entire post is why i need to get off social media for a long time and take my tumblr activities to WRITING and readin

[yourbleedingh3art]

When hes ignoring u but u wanna send him ur mutuals bender schedule

[love-belle]

looked for stars and i found a supernova !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which it takes a random song drop and a feature from a university student for their relationship to come to light.

or

for when it became true, opposites do attract. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!sargeant!reader

warnings - language

author's note - i am SO sorry i have no explanation for not posting except for the fact that i am now unemployed (i finished hs and don't start college till like august) and i just do Nothing the entire day. i love u all thank u for sticking around <3

≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lilymhe and 729,816 others

yourusername boys are SO stupid and it's so endearing and frustrating like u r such a DUMBASS pls let me kiss u on the lips (i did ❤️)

8,628 comments

username hahahah!!! funny joke babe!!! kids and i and our goat miss u ❤️

username and like just that my bisexual ass cried tears (i never had a chance)

-> username she's for the girlies every man back OFFFFFF

username going insane over this

username i know logan is in shambles rn like that brother is distraught

-> yourusername he hasn't stopped calling me i had to block his number

-> logansargeant UNBLOCK my number i am your BLOOD

-> yourusername fuck off i will call mom

-> logansargeant have you ever known sanity in your life

-> yourusername have you ever felt loved

-> yourusername sorry can u please tell mom to stop yelling at me it's scary ok

-> username she did NOT need to do him like that

-> username oh that was FOUL

username she's so pretty i simply cannot believe a man can rizz her up

username do we ignore y/n violating her brother like that orrrrr

-> username u are an only child it seems

-> logansargeant it's just that she's mean

-> yourusername go and drown in a pond since u wanna act like a silly goose

username why is charles in the likes he don't even follow her

-> username i have the most funniest and silliest theory and im afraid saying it out loud will send logan into early retirement

alex_albon evil laugh

-> yourusername i pay u ENOUGH. any more and i will have to involve my lawyer WHAT DO U WANT

-> alex_albon ferrari has exceptional pasta

-> yourusername ahahahhajaha what's that got to do with me u little clusterfuck of a twink

-> alex_albon oh! absolutely nothing!

-> username i am screaming what the fuck

-> username "little clusterfuck of a twink" OH MY GOD

username crazy how everything she says is so real idk if that's the fan in me or i am just way too fucking down bad for her

*liked by charles_leclerc*

username love love LOVE see this rep bc my man is such an idiot but it's ok cus he's my princess

-> yourusername YOU GET IT !!!!! he's my princess <3

logansargeant what are you doing

-> yourusername tryna slut him out n then build a lego set w him

-> logansargeant i always knew you would be the one to bring generational shame to our family what is this behaviour

logansargeant what happened to "if i ever talk to a man again i want you to be disappointed in me" ?

-> yourusername u were disappointed in me nonetheless fym

-> logansargeant i

-> maxverstappen1 i can tell we would be great friends yourusername

-> logansargeant no way

logansargeant what happened to BIOLOGY you were supposed to be STUDYING

-> yourusername i did study

-> yourusername his anatomy

-> alex_albon logan just deleted this app i hope you're happy

-> username Y/N PLEASE HESITATE

-> username CRYINF SHE'S SO UNHINGED

username the way i can feel logan's mortification through the screen 😭😭

username when will it be me

username love to see women in stem (seducing the enigmatic men) idk im proud of her i know she was crying abt not finding the love she read bout

-> yourusername this might be my favourite comment ever i adore u

username prophecy be looking a bit too permanent 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 who's gonna change it 🤣🤣🤣 i am on my KNEES 🤣🤣🤣🤣

username everyday i learn something new about y/n and everyday i praise the lord that i can exist at the same time as her

*liked by charles_leclerc*

≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 2,629,916 others

charles_leclerc you're in her dms, i wrote a song for her in under a day when we weren't even dating. we are not the same.

12,628 comments

username CRYING WHAT THE FUCK

username oh my god is this real

username CRYING THE SONG IS TOO GOOD

username HIS VLOCE JIS VOICE HIS VLICE HIS VOICE

username going crazy rn what the fuck

username HELLO?????? WHAT IS THIS

username need me a man like this thank u

username too much unpack he has a GIRLFRIEND and it's Y/N

-> username HE PULLS??? HE PULLED HER???

username this is life altering

username shaking from excitement i cannot WAIT for logan to download instagram again and be Surprised

landonorris disgusting

-> charles_leclerc forgive me for not wanting to hide my love ☹️

-> username NAH WHO GOT HIM LIKE THIS

username "thinking bout her eyes every hour she's my wildflower" OH HE'S IN LOVEEEE LOVE

username his voice oh my god

-> username tears dripping down my thighs

-> username OHMYGOD

maxverstappen1 "we are not the same" thank god

-> charles_leclerc bubonic plague 🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠

-> username nurse he's out 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

-> username nah who got him being funny

-> username DID PEOPLE SERIOUSLY NOT LISTEN TO THE SONG

-> username NO WAY THAT'S Y/N AT THE END

-> username "okaaaaaaay" CRYINF I LOVE THEM

username my life has been divided into before this song and after this song and im so grateful for that

username i think the most important thing here is who out of all his friends owns a toyota in which the heat don't work

username crying bc wdym charles wrote a song for his gf when they weren't even dating

username in love with y/n's voice at the end WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

-> username screaming i need this song injected in my veins

yourusername craaaaaaaazy how u never told me that ⁉️

-> charles_leclerc details details

yourusername cool song

-> charles_leclerc thank you i wrote it for my girlfriend

yourusername AHSHDHDJJSJSJAJS IN LOVE THIS WAS SO GOOD UR VOICE IS INSANE I LOVE IT SO MUCH

-> charles_leclerc THANK YOU !! ❤️

-> username they make me SICK

-> username calm bf 🤝 hyperactive gf

username the most important question is did logan re download this app

-> yourusername he did but then he saw this post, heard the song and deleted it again

-> yourusername he's just bitter i am bsfs with max before him

-> logansargeant disowned

-> yourusername my grad pic on the mantle BEGS to differ !!!!!! u are on the piano u have no room to talk

-> logansargeant i'm pushing you out of this year's christmas card

≡.;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 899,527 others

yourusername got him to say he would still love me if i was a worm n now we go on walks and i point at every worm and say sorry i can't be her

tagged charles_leclerc

12,628 comments

username NO WAY THIS JS REAL

username i just want a detailed description of how they met and who asked the other out ☝️😞

username my roman empire the fuck

username the way their personalities crash when will it be me

username THE CAPTION IM SCREAMING

username the way she will never let that man know peace and i am so EXCITED

username she's so unhinged i love her

username LET IT ONCE BE ME PLEASEEE

username blocked (im laying on the highway tonight)

username the way i know logan had to be sedated

-> username my man did nothing wrong why are they torturing him 😭

alex_albon we're down one driver at williams

-> yourusername is it a good time to tell u that i recently got my license

-> logansargeant YOU FAILED YOUR TEST 5 TIMES FUCK OFFFFFFF

-> yourusername big emotions

-> username im cryinf what do you mean shw faield the test 5 TIMES ????

username LMAOO THE LAST SLIDE 😭😭😭 I LOVE HER

username parents dare i say

username max is not happy i can tell

-> yourusername i received a very strongly worded message from him yesterday and the only thing i could make out was that he's a bitch for charles like. a BITCH.

-> maxverstappen1 blasphemy

-> logansargeant NO WAY you're buddies with MAX VERSTAPPEN before ME back OFFFFFF

-> yourusername nurse he is out again 🗣️🗣️🗣️

-> username what are they doing to my boy 😭

logansargeant y/n please. THINK.

-> yourusername i did

-> logansargeant AND ?

-> yourusername he's nice i will keep him

-> logansargeant NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-> yourusername god forbid a girl wants to date a questionable man

-> charles_leclerc ?

username crazy how this is the most random couple ever and we're instantly like PARENTS !!!!

-> username i for once love them like the cultural clashes we're gonna get heh

charles_leclerc my love please

-> yourusername my pronouns are she not her because i'll never be her 🪱

-> charles_leclerc stop

charles_leclerc and can you please tell your brother to hesitate before speaking? he just offered me candy and a dollar to break up with you

-> yourusername FUCK U I AM WORTH WAY MORE THAN CANDY AND A DOLLAR

-> charles_leclerc that is not the issue here

charles_leclerc pretty girl

-> logansargeant keep your thoughts to yourself you hormonal vulgarian

-> yourusername TIME OUT FOR U let my bf live

-> charles_leclerc this is how my life is going to be from now on?

-> yourusername are u complaining (threatening)

-> username i KNOW logan is shaking behind the screen he just called charles leclerc a hormonal vulgarian

-> username sibling rage takes people places they wouldn't go with a gun

username this is hilarious

username logan's likes on twt are mind blowing like what do u MEAN u wish the plague on ur sister 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-> yourusername u should see what his texts look like

-> yourusername "you need an excoeciscism for the demon in u it might an issue idk" followed by quora links

-> username siblings ❤️

≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, logansargeant, carlossainz55 and 2,729,915 others

charles_leclerc silently working on our own little crafts in the same room tonight, queen? ❤️

tagged yourusername

11,628 comments

username CRYINGGGGG I HATE HIS GUTS

username LET IT ONCE BE ME HOLY SHITTTTTT

username they're so parents it's insane

username he's so relatable bc i too would be obsessed with y/n

username he definitely has one of those t-shirts that say "i ❤️ my gf"

-> yourusername he has one in every colour with diff fonts :((((

-> username GOODBYE

username need me a man who will sit in my general vicinity while we work on our own silly little crafts together

-> username charles might've just set a standard idk NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS

username that text.............im violently ill

username the matching rings wow god really does have favourites

yourusername wait a sec i got 12000% error on my scale

-> landonorris how do you even manage to do that

-> yourusername if u think women don't belong in stem just say that

-> landonorris STOP IT MY PR TEAM IS HUNTING ME DOEN FOR SPROT TAKE JT BACK

-> charles_leclerc shame on you

-> landonorris WJAT DID I DO

-> username crying they're terrorizing people for fun 😭

-> username we deserve this

yourusername fighting demons (a degree that i chose to study) to be on my phone bc my BOYFRIEND posted

-> charles_leclerc don't give logan more reasons to send me vaguely veiled threats

-> yourusername he does WHAT

-> logansargeant sending him links on how people got away with murder is HARDLY a threat idk why you're like this

-> username no way they got him UNHINGED

-> username 😭😭😭😭😭 he's so

yourusername MY BABY LEO 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

-> charles_leclerc i am right there

-> yourusername so is leo 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

yourusername are u mitosis bc i never metaphase as cute as urs

-> charles_leclerc i am too dumb to understand this but you are the prettiest

-> yourusername king i am so in love with u

-> logansargeant i judt tfeew up

-> yourusername leave me ALONE

username i hope all the happy couples break up (why couldn't it be me in a relationship)

username SCREAMING HE'S SO DOWN BAD

[highfantasy-soul]

I've seen some interpretations of Qimir/The Stranger's comment "When you lose everything, that's when you're finally free" that I don't really agree with.

A popular interpretation is that he's saying you have to cut off all your connections to people and love nothing, that's the only way to be free, but I think that's completely incorrect.

My interpretation is that he's saying when you lose the structures that have told you what to do your entire life, the people who had such strict expectations for you that you tried to mold yourself to, when you let go of all that, then you're free to really take a look at who YOU are.

Who we are a lot of the time is molded and shaped by the expectations of others: I can't get that tattoo because my grandmother wouldn't approve, I can't move to a different city because it would make my family sad, I can't post about political issues I'm passionate about because my job will fire me for it, I can't say what I really think because my friend group will treat me differently.

When you lose all that, you're no longer bound by their expectations and you can do what feels right for YOU. This doesn't have to be that they die! "Losing" them can just mean (in terms of Osha and the Jedi Order), you're no longer a part of that organization. Osha's not beholden to it's rules in a physical sense, but she was keeping herself mentally constrained by their rules all the same. Once she 'loses' that, she has the freedom to take a step back and assess her life and who she is and gets to decide who SHE wants to be - without being afraid that she's letting anyone down or not adhering to the rules of the organization.

There will be no social or structural consequences if she decides that she DOES want attachments now - because the Jedi can't punish her for it since she's "lost" her standing with the Jedi. She's free.

That's why it's so important to look at both the philosophy offered (when you lose everything, you're finally free) and also the interpretations of different people and how they're implementing that.

I do think Qimir/The Stranger was trying to color his killing of Yord and Jecki as something positive for Osha, but I don't think that's the 'end point' of his sentiment. I think that he's genuine in his belief that they were enemies who would kill him/stop him from existing as he wants to and so it wasn't 'evil' to kill them to stop them from doing that - I don't think he's lying to Osha about that to manipulate her - I think he's just trying to share how he views the situation.

After all, if an abused character killed their abuser, they might also indicate that they now 'felt free' because they "lost" that thing that was controlling them. That doesn't make them evil, it doesn't mean they're trying to lie and manipulate their way out of responsibility for the death, it's just indicating what their mindset is now that the threat to their safety is gone.

That acknowledgement isn't me saying Qimir's justification is 'right', only pointing out his own thought process behind the actions and how I don't think he's telling Osha that she needs to lose everything and KEEP it lost. I think the idea here is that once all your previous 'baggage' is stripped away, you're free to create the life/attachments you actually want.

[ilikekidsshows]

hey I figure that you’re probably tired of talking about the Sentimonster nonsense but I genuinely still can’t stand that it’s an actual thing. The wildest thing about it is that I JOINED the fandom because of the Sentimonster theory, actually got excited for it and looked forward to hints, not believing the skeptics or the salters bc it didn’t seem like such a big deal—that is until I saw with my own eyes how SO MANY FANS said with their whole chest that, in “Ephemeral” Adrien HAD to be a Sentimonster or there was no other “sympathetic explanation” for why he didn’t de-akumatize himself or fight off Gabriel.

Seeing the victim blaming in real time was such a punch in the gut—and then they just kept on coming!! It finally hit me how damaging the entire thing because for the show as a whole. If even regular fans that weren’t even known for salting could so willingly disregard and ignore genuine abuse coping mechanisms in favor of magical BS… it was such a dark time. Abuse Apologism and victim blaming in a whole package

Sometimes, when I write about Miraculous, I pretend I'm writing about a show that only had three seasons. That's what the "zagulous fandom" tag is for; it's for posts that are about the parts of Miraculous that had Zag's executive control keeping Astruc in check. I also kinda accepted long ago that my blog's kind of a support blog for people who are against the Sentihuman concept.

When I first heard of the expanded Sentimonster theory, the one that went "all the rich kids are Sentimonsters", I instantly went: "You do realize how making victims of child abuse nonhumans with questionable rights minimizes their victimhood and excuses their abusers, right?" people told me I was making stuff up and whoopsie doo, the writers did exactly that.

Neither Gabriel nor Tomoe faced any consequences for abusing Adrien and Kagami because, after all, since they're Sentimonsters, the real abuse was that they didn't have their Amoks so giving them their Amoks resolves all their problems. The only abusive parent who gets acknowledged as such is Félix's dad, who is dead by the time we hear about any of this, because we can't have abusive parents face consequences for their actions because that might upset people or whatever excuses Astruc's giving for Gabriel's vindication now.

This also minimises all the affects of the abuse on the kids, since they can be handwaved away with: "They were just programmed that way." Kagami's bad social skills aren't because her mother isolated her, it's because she forgot to program Kagami with those skills. Félix's villainous behavior isn't because his mother is overly permissive with him, he was just programmed that way (by the eeeeevil Colt). Adrien isn't a people pleaser because he's repeating his abuse coping mechanisms with his overly controlling girlfriend to keep her happy the same way he did to his overly controlling father, he was just programmed to be the perfect doting son and boyfriend.

You'll notice how neatly this ties into the crew denying that Chloé was abused in any way ever by her clearly abusive mother. Chloé wasn't made into a Sentimonster, so we can't have her bad coping with her abuse be excused by "Sentimonster programming", so now the writers are just gaslighting the audience and saying: "Chloé wasn't mistreated by her parents which caused her to act to out to get attention (which she literally stated to be her motive in season 3), in fact, she's the one who's been terrorizing her poor, innocent father and he needs to be protected from this naturally occuring evil hellspawn."

All child abuse in this show gets excused.

Of course, now the writers have an added reason to make sure Adrien's abuse gets excused in particular: because they made Marinette benefit from it. As I said, Adrien is repeating abuse coping mechanisms learned from dealing with his father to keep Marinette happy. He's always prioritizing her feelings and never brings up his own problems, and this is good for Marinette, because she can just enjoy having a perfect boyfriend who caters to her every need and doesn't have problems of his own or with the ways she treats him (for all she knows). She's even maintaining this status quo by lying about Gabriel to Adrien, so Adrien won't get upset (and have emotional needs that she would need to help him with). Either we have to excuse Adrien's abuse, or we have to admit Marinette is benefitting from the fact that Adrien was abused, and even taking advantage with the way she makes no effort to improve their communication on her end, preferring to spy on Adrien and lie to him instead of just talking to him like an equal.

The show writers are also allergic to following through on their creative decisions, is what I think. They put all these different victims of child abuse and neglect in the show, and then dehumanized these children in different ways so that they wouldn't actually need to say anything about that abuse they wrote in and they can instead pretend it was never there. This is why I also think that, no matter how much the show's defenders insist the story isn't over yet, we will never be getting a proper resolution to the Sentinonsense.

[stupendousfoxthing]

Random thought Wednesday: I think Tae posted the fries because they were cute and if he'd taken the picture right before posting I would not feel any differently about it or him as a person. I think this social media witch hunt over McD's/Starbucks is ridiculous. I've thought that the entire time. I think it will look more clearly like mass hysteria in hindsight, and some people focus so hard on this because for them it's about feeling like they're better people than others while they send death threats over a small fry. Thinking that it's the job of a fan to "educate" a grown adult, especially the laser focus on Kpop idols, feels abusive and racist in equal measure. This isn't education, this is trying to tell them how they should live their lives. And if they don't do what you want you'll unstan or something? When you could do that first and save them the mountains of harassment. If you care that much about them falling perfectly inline with your ideals, save yourself. But some of these people have been dragging out unstanning for months because they'll get zero attention once they leave the fandom and they want to hurt someone. Including the idols they clearly no longer have any respect for as artists or human beings. BTS did a massive promotion for McD's already, and that company was already doing fucked up things at the time. I called McD's out then, because of their involvement in horrendous factory farming practices. Factory farming, by the way, something so evil on such a massive scale that we will never be able to pay back the karmic debt for it. Watch Earthlings if you would like to educate yourself, because that's your choice. But anyway, I spoke up at the time about McD's farming practices. I of course didn't buy the BTS meal or anything else from that company. But I don't think BTS cosign mistreating farm animals. I've seen the way they care about animals and treat them. It is a much more complicated issue even as McD's and the things you eat there have a direct connection to this horrible thing. I choose not to eat there. I don't need everyone else to make the same choice I do, and I don't think everyone that eats there is a bad person. It's fast food. There are so many things that have to be changed societally and systematically to have any effect on McD's existence. And yeah, they do donate to good causes as well. 🤷 Whaddya do? Not my job to make that choice for everyone. If you think someone eating there makes them a bad person, if that is someone you're a fan of you can stop being a fan of them. You don't get to harass them or send them death threats. They never asked you to be a fan in the first place. Personally, I try to cut people off as soon as possible if they try controlling me and telling me how I should live my life. But some "fans" have a real sense of entitlement, and if they are allowed to push it once they will keep pushing it. This is why sometimes I want BTS to just disappear and go completely off the grid post-military (that thing they are forced to do that could involve killing people) and forget all of this. They've done so much in service of others, and they just get treated worse and worse by their own fandom, by their company, by their country. It's so sad.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

So overall I don't like the OFMD Reddit. I've tried to create a post about why narratively I felt S2 didn't work ignoring the Izzy stuff, one only about the Izzy stuff(since there are very few Izzy-focused fans on there), then another talking about Olu/Jim/(Archie/Zheng) talking about why I was disappointed in it. If it's a negative post, moderators won't approve the post to go live. Which I don't love. But okay, if you want a positive echo chamber to offset Tumblr and Twitter about this season, sure.

I still check it out of curiosity when I stumble across this GEM.

We've had quite a bit of time to debate this. Almost two years, and this was posted 11/15/23. Yes, the OP was very kind (I agree that Ed thought that Stede was cool cause he beat Izzy, and was a new pirate on the scene. Then once he realizes how dumb the crew is the plan springs up into place), and I'm not hating on them specifically. Just that some social media places are just still at this point.

I blame a large section of the fanbase for not EVER reading any Izzy POV meta. Who are now scrambling to go back to rewatch S1 knowing what we know about Izzy now.

If you want to see all the responses, ranging from those I agree with to those that are just wild, let me know, I might put the link in the comments my favorites range from. 'Blackbeard wanted to but Ed didn't' to the usual Izzy is a superhuman being. To 'ALL THIS WAS JUST TO KEEP IZZY ON THE SHIP'?

Do they not see how INTERESTING the dynamic between Ed and Izzy is? That their relationship is giving and pulling at just the right times? Izzy trying to maintain their shield and Ed desperately trying to find a life where he doesn't hate himself? Both of them DON'T REALLY WANT THIS-Ed being openly suicidal to Izzy keeping his head down and working- living day by day- each NOT talking about their issues.

That hiding behind the Blackbeard name is the only way they'll survive? That killing Stede Bonnet could genuinely give Ed the out he craves. Izzy could then Captain a ship full of a crew that (theoretically) already fears and respects him?

[Not that Izzy would be good at it, or even want to be away from Ed, but you get my point. This was a *change in their lives* that is VERY tempting to two men who have been in survival mode for YEARS-

Also, it's very obvious Jenkins didn't plan Izzy's character out, so Izzy wanting to captain to me can just be written off as Jenkins not knowing the character yet, since he NEVER PAYS THE SCENE -WHERE IZZY IS FLATTERED AT POTENTIALLY BEING GIVEN TITLE CAPTIN-OFF (cough cough Izzy could have been the captain/first mate S2ep8)...moving on]

If Lucius didn't stumble in, Ed would have killed Stede here. He was aiming for a fatal spot in his neck and actively swinging down, I couldn't find a gif and had to take a photo on my phone, but you get my point.

Ed then realizes that not only was he willing to kill a guy who, overall, had been very kind to him, but then gets the Kraken as a reminder that he HAS killed. That he's spent his entire life killing to put himself into a better spot. Slowly rising up the ranks, and it's never been enough to keep him happy. Be it his dad, or fuck, even killing this rich dude and stealing his identity.

~BUT NO~

Izzy is SO EVIL guys, Ed doesn't want to kill Stede! He just has to pretend to be violent in front of Izzy so Izzy doesn't mutiny or leave him!! Doesn't that TOTALLY make sense? Ed's struggling since he never wanted to kill Stede, and he's struggling with the 'order' Izzy gave him!!

[Ignoring how Ed wanted to help him retire in the first place, how Izzy nudges Ed to follow the fisherman thing, and how Ed wanted Izzy to *stay* in the first place.]

The reddit is FILLED with takes like this, btw. Sorry if it seems like straw-manning, but I can find the posts if you need them.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Perhaps some of you remember that time I wrote up an entire essay for the TVTropes forums to get William cemented as a Magnificent Bastard because you literally have to get fictional characters vetted by people who care an absurd amount about this to add them to the trope page.

I am now back on my bullshit, and just got Albert confirmed (Louis is in the works, but the voting looks good for him so far). I did his write up today and it should be up later this week? I enjoy the short version as well.

And now:

The Work

Moriarty the Patriot is a (very loose) retelling of the Sherlock Holmes stories combined with James Bond set in the late 1800s, focused on Professor James Moriarty and exploring his motivations.

The Character

This post is to open a discussion specifically on Albert James Moriarty, older brother of Professor Moriarty (who we already confirmed) and one the Professor's Co-Dragons. Albert is the original "Moriarty" family member biologically who took the other two in as children, and is the leader of MI6 for most of the series.

Why Is He a Bastard

I mean, he kills his own younger biological brother and his mother by hand and then arranged for the entire rest of his family and servants to die in their sleep in a fire. So like. Is that enough?

He also took two orphan kids in, then basically said, "Hey, in exchange for getting your little brother heart surgery he needed to live, help me murder like so many people. Kthx."

He tends to come off colder than either of his brothers, which is sort of impressive since they're all murderers.

I like Albert, but he's certainly a bastard.

But Not That Bad?

Much like his brothers, Albert is trying in a very fucked up way to improve society by murdering people he thinks are making society worse. He is...trying to help in a Pay Evil unto Evil sort of way.

Honestly, Albert is the Moriarty brother who gets the least amount of sympathy from fans, although this shifted a fair amount after it was revealed he has severely untreated OCD, which is a massive contributing factor to his need to eliminate the hypocrisies of all these abusive nobles who keep going to Christian churches. But it's not like most people with OCD are murderers, so there's a limit to how far this Freudian Excuse is going to take him.

Is He Charming/Magnificent

Albert is, according to an official Japanese fan poll, the second most popular character in the series (second to the protagonist of the series, who won by a landslide). This seems to track from the interactions I've had with people. So people are charmed by him.

Albert is also in the series pretty much assigned to "socialization" on behalf of everyone else. He doesn't seem to really like it very much, but he gets along with people rather well. According to his official character profile, he's still getting asked out and courted even after losing his title and going to prison for the murders, so apparently people are really into him.

He also has a similar flair for the dramatic to his younger brother. This is absolutely a man who is going to revel in elaborate schemes and acting a part. While he often asks his brother to arrange details and plans, he always shows up to convince people that he's just so worried about his kidnapped brother, please help him, and oh, gasp, people have died, how tragic.

But Is He Brilliant?

This, I think, is a key factor in Albert's case here: Most of William's subordinates are very subordinate to him. It's made clear that William expects all of his crew to be able to think and plan for themselves and make their own decisions, but the series doesn't always take time to show that off for everyone. Albert does get that time.

Albert often sees opportunities before he engages William for a plan to make it work. Manipulating Mycroft Holmes into getting MI6 created so he could lead it was Albert's idea, and he executed the plan (and he leads MI6 when it's not doing Lord of Crime business), even if William came up with many of the details to help him out. Albert is the one who sees the potential in Adam Whitley and brings the topic up to William.

Also, Albert was the first person to bring William's dreams of killing nobles and creating a brighter world into fruition and set it into a tangible, real path. He and William are frequently tagged as the only two who originated the entire plan.

Albert is a brilliant opportunist and an excellent man to have making sure everything goes off without a hitch, even if the details of getting things done aren't really his forte.

He's brilliant.

What About His Competition?

Most of the nemeses in the series are focused on William, and Albert is his subordinate. Basically none of Sherlock or Milverton's attention ever splashes Albert's way. The person he really engages with in a competitive dance with is...Mycroft Holmes. And while Albert doesn't exactly win, neither does he lose to Mycroft. They come to a couple of agreements and passes to work together and watch to make sure the other isn't getting in their way.

Verdict:

Yes.

[andydrysdalerogers]

Cross-Checked ~ Chapter 21

Andy Barber x OFC Leighton "Leia" Andrews

Summary:

Andy Barber is having the best year of his life. His game is on point. It’s gets to play with his best friend and his fiancé just... dumped him?!. 

Reeling from a sudden change in status, Andy decides it’s time to just focus on hockey. Until his best friend's sister comes out with news that rock the entire organizations world., 

Andy has always carried a torch for the untouchable Leighton but in her hour of need, is now the time to shoot and score or risk getting cross - checked again? 

Warnings: Cheating (but not by the MCs); slow burn; friends to lovers eventually; SMUT!; pregnancy; jealousy; handsome goalies, evil exes...

A/N: The tag list is open! Also, so sorry to be behind on this one. Life got in the way for awhile but I'm back!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

Previous: Chapter 20~ When Two Become Three

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 21 – It's the Playoffs, Baby 

Leia 

The last six weeks have been the most wonderful dream. My little Avery came home the same day I was released from the hospital after a week-long stay. She’s perfect in every way. Andy refuses to put her down unless she’s hungry. He’s besotted with his little girl, and it just makes my chest hurt from the adorableness. It was rough the first couple of weeks with the surgery, but Andy found a night nanny to help. He also hired a housekeeper for us, Mrs. Langfield. She is a godsend. She is so helpful with the house and caring for me when Andy head-to-head back to work.  

But here we are, six weeks later, and we are attending our first home game together. Management got us our own box with the. WAGs. I am a WAG now, which is wild.  

Andy and I get to the arena early, him proudly carrying the car seat in. My social media team are on it with the arrivals, and I step out of the picture because I know that the fans will go nuts for this daddy/daughter moment. But my top assistant, Alicia, spots me.  “Leia, we have to get a picture of the happy family.”  She pulls me and we pose. I’m leaning into Andy before he pulls Avery out of the car seat so he’s holding her.  

“That’s great!” Alicia declares.  “These will be up soon, but I’ll send you the good ones,” she tells me, and I flush.  

We head to the private elevator and Andy looks down at me. “Sweetheart, why are you so red?” 

“Nothing,” I looked down at the bags. I could feel the hot tears welling behind my eyes and I was trying desperately to stop them.  

While Avery has been magical and beautiful and wonderful, I did not feel the same way about myself. I was dull, fat and blah. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I felt like all people saw now was Avery. I was nothing.  I didn’t want the photos of me to go up because next to my gorgeous boyfriend and my beautiful daughter, I was the fat lump of a woman. I tried to make an effort and done my hair and makeup, but I still felt like a fraud.  

I know that this is just post pardum feelings. I know I should talk to someone but all I want is to be home with my baby girl. I hear a throat clear, and I look up at Andy. “Baby, what’s wrong?”  I move to say nothing, but he cuts me off.  “My queen, you are sad. I can see it. Talk to me.”  

I can feel one tear fall down my cheek. “I don’t want them to post my picture,” I whisper.  

“Why?”  

“I feel gross and ugly, and I don’t want my picture there. I don’t need the whole word to know how much of a mess I am and that you have an ugly girlfriend and...” 

“Whoa, baby, stop right there.” Andy pulled us to the side, away from the crowd. “Sweetheart, you are beautiful, strong and amazing.  You cooked our little princess and protected her for nine months.  Look at her.”  I look down to the car seat where she sleeps. “You did that. You made that. That makes you a superhero Leia. That makes you, my queen. I worship at your feet because you gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for.”  

“But, I don’t do anything.” I start to cry. “The night nurse takes care of her when I sleep, and Mrs. Langfield takes care of her and the house. I’m useless, Andy. Just a milk machine.” I hiccup. “All anyone sees is Avery and her cow.” 

He pulls me in and holds me tight. “Oh baby, why didn’t you say anything earlier?” 

“I don’t know. You’ve been so sweet to make sure I’m being taken care of I didn’t want you to think I am ungrateful. Because I’m so grateful Andy.” I sob harder into his chest as he cradles my head.  

“Sweetheart, you have to talk to me, okay? I don’t know what help you really need if you don’t tell me.” He kisses my forehead and lets me cry for a few moments before he tilts my head back. “How about this?  We will let the night nurse go in a couple of more weeks.  But she starts to get you up to feed instead of pumping. Then when you feel more comfortable, we’ll let her go.” 

I sniffle. “That sounds good.”  

“Ok.  As for Mrs. Langfield, I’m sure we can talk to her and tell her what you need, and she’ll be able to help. I don’t want to make life harder right now we the team almost in the playoffs.”  

“You think she’ll be ok with it?” 

“I’m sure she is willing to do anything for Avery.” He gave me his dazzling smile. “I promise we’ll figure this out, ok?” 

“Ok. I love you, Andy.” 

He leaned down and kissed me softly. “I love you, my queen. Let’s get my girls settled.” He took my hand and walked me to the box. We were immediate greeted by the WAGs that are already there and they started to coo over Avery.  

Avery, my perfect princess, decides this is the time to open her eyes and show off beautiful blue green eyes.  “Oh my,” Katerina Marchand coos. “She’s gorgeous Leia.” She looks at me and her smiles falls.  “Have you been crying Leia?” 

“Oh,” I wave her off, “I’m fine.”  

“Leia, honey,” Moa sat next to me and took my hands. “You just had a baby seven weeks ago. And it wasn’t an easy birth. Its ok to not be ok.” 

I felt my lower lip wobble. “I’m just not feeling myself. I don’t know how Andy hasn’t run away because I’m so fat and ugly.”  

“Sweetie, that is absolutely not true,” Rebecca took my hands. “When we saw the post of you and Andy with the baby, David and I were commenting on how beautiful you look. It doesn’t even look like you’ve had a baby seven weeks ago.”  

I felt a big fat tear leak from my eye (stupid hormones). “Really?” 

“Yeah, really, I wish I looked half as good as you when I had our baby,” Rebecca said.  “It’s ok to feel uncomfortable and undesirable but that’s just the flood of hormones talking.  David has told me that Andy can’t stop showing off pictures of the baby and you. How sweet and peaceful his girls are. It's so sweet.”  

“Brad was telling me the same thing,” Katerina said. “You grew a human; you can be a little off for a while.” 

These ladies have embraced me as one of their own and I am forever grateful for it. I hadn’t had many girlfriends, just Stella and eventually, Miranda. But these women are ready to take me in and show me the ropes. “Thank you, ladies. Really, it means a lot.”  

“What does Andy say about all of this?” Moa asked.  

“He was upset I hadn’t said anything.  We’re going to make some changes that make sense and hopefully it will help.” I swallowed.  “He’s been so good to me, to us.” 

Moa smiled. “I knew that man was made to be a father.”  

A week later, life turned upside down.  We had talked to Mrs. Langfield, and she was more than happy to show me the ropes to being a mom. “I raised four of my own. It isn’t easy but it is the most rewarding thing you will ever do.” she patted my hand, and we went to work.  I thought that would end the drama, but it didn’t.  

Stella ended up on my doorstep while the guys were still in New York after clinching a playoff berth and she was a mess. “Stel?” 

“I need to hide out here for a while, please,” she said as fat tears rolled down her cheeks.  

“Of course, sweetie,” as I pulled her in. “What’s going on?” 

“Have you seen the headlines about the Bruins?” 

“Uh, no.” I picked up my phone. While I was still on maternity leave, I was trying to keep up with all the posts and letting my team know of any discrepancies. I scrolled and I saw the article about Jeremy going back to his partying ways.  “What the... I don’t understand.  I thought he was cleaning up his act and doing a damn good job at it.”  

“Yeah, he was.” She sniffed and wiped her nose.  “Because we had been taking care of each other.”  She looked at her lap and I froze.  

“You and Jeremy. You were, what?” 

“We were in a ‘friends with benefits’ situation.” She looked at me with sorrow. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but he was there when I broke up with Kevin and then it was supposed to be one night. But we didn’t stop, and it was great. I thought we were getting serious but then this and...” she breaks down and sobs and I wrap my arms around her.  

“It's going to be ok, Stel. You can stay here as long as you like.  I’m sure there is a perfectly good explanation and when you are ready, we’ll get the truth.”  

I feel for my friend. It's obvious that she’s in love with him. I’m not sure how I missed it but now she needed me to take care of her.  

Jeremy was benched soon after, not sure why. I would have to wait for Andy to get home.  

Andy 

What a shit show. 

Jeremy getting sent home is the last things I was expecting after his shutout performance. But I guess management didn’t like the photos and I couldn’t speak to the GM right away.  I finally caught up with him and explained that Jeremy had turned down the girl and I walked with him to his hotel room.  That Jeremy admitted to having a girlfriend whom he loved very much.  Once that got cleared up, they allowed him to rejoin the team once we got home.  

It was the day before the first playoff game and we would be on the road to Toronto. I was packing my bag when I hear, “Andy!”  

Fuck, Leia sounds panicked. I race down the stairs. “Leia, baby, what’s wrong?”  

She’s clutching our daughter like her life depended on it. “My mother messaged me, and I panicked. I’m sorry, I just... why is she doing this?” 

“Let me see the message.” I pick up the phone to read. 

Monica: I heard that you had the baby. I would like to meet with you and my granddaughter alone. We need to discuss yours and your daughter’s future.  

What the fuck. I look at my girl and she is afraid. “What is she trying to do?” 

“I don’t know but you know as soon as she realizes that you and Luke are gone, she’ll try to ambush me.”  

I didn't even think about that. Fuck, I can’t leave her here alone. But an idea forms, and I whipped out my phone. I send a message to the GM and he replies automatically. “Ok, sweetheart, why don’t you and Avery join us on the road?” 

“What?” 

“I just messaged the GM about having you on the trip. I told him it was a safety thing but since you are still the social media director, you still have the option to travel with us.”  

“But won’t I have to work? Who will watch Avery?” 

“My queen, I can guarantee she will have about 20 babysitters when she’s not with us.  Plus, Stella is going as well, so she can hold the baby if you need take some pictures and stuff. What do you say? Come be my lucky charm?” 

Babies, as it turns out, need a lot of stuff.  But it didn’t bother me in the slightest because it just meant that my girls were with me on the road.  Three suitcases later, I carried my baby girl onto the plane.  

“Holy shit! Princess Avery is in the house!” Jeremy yelled as he went to reach for her. He took the carrier off me and took her to his seat with Linus.  

“I guess Sway is taking the first shift,” I said to Leia who smiled. I pulled her to my row so she could sit with me and Luke. I get her settled and then go over to check on the baby with our goalies.  Linus already has her out of the carrier and in his arms, telling her something in Swedish. Jeremy just plays with her toes as he watched. “You guys good with her?” 

“Go away, Barber,” Linus says. “My niece and I are discussing all the things we will be doing when she visits me in Sweden.”  

Jeremy grins. “And I am making sure all of these toes are perfect. Shoo.” I chuckled.   

“Hey, I want to hold my niece as well,” David says.  

“Uh, she’s my niece too,” Brad says with a dramatic pout. The arguing gets loud, and Avery takes objection to it by letting out a loud wail.  I swoop in to take her into my arms.  

“Avery, my princess, what’s wrong? Did your uncles get too loud? You didn’t like big loud men scaring you?” I cooed at her. Her eyes open slightly. “There’s my girl.” She gives me a sleepy smile. I walk back to our seats to the protest of my teammates. “When you guys get a schedule down, then you can have her.  Until then, she’s with daddy.”  

“Yes, Captain,” I hear them all grumble. I smile as I sit with my girl. Leia leans on my shoulder to stare at my girl. She’s been getting better with the post-partum. She still has moments where she curls up and cries. We talked about maybe seeing someone to help her. I tell her every day that there is no shame, no shame whatsoever if she needs help. Mrs. Langfield has been a godsend.  She has been there for Leia when I have been on the road. Once she understood what was happening, she immediately knew what to do when I was so utterly lost.  

The flight was smooth sailing. Avery was a gem and we arrived in Toronto without an issue. Avery’s passport is so adorable and gets so many reactions as we go through customs.  We pile onto the bus and head to the hotel. I get my girls into their room (stupid travel rule: can’t sleep away from the team) and make sure they have everything they need. “I have a team meeting and then a walk through.  I’ll be a couple of hours, but Linus and Jeremy will be here since their schedule is different.  But if you need me, call me.” I kiss the top of Avery’s head before I softly kiss Leia.  “I love you.”  

“I love you. We’ll be okay, won’t we baby girl?” Leia talks to Avery as she sleeps.  “Shoo, I promise, I’m ok.”  

She’s got this, my brave warrior queen.  

Leia 

Avery and I walk down the team floor in search of a couple of goalies.  I find them going over tape in a conference room at the end of their hall. “Hey guys!” 

“Hey Leia,” Jeremy says, glancing at me before doing a double take when he sees Avery. “It’s the princess! He moves to take her from me and starts to walk around telling her secrets I can’t hear.  

“How are you, Leia?” Linus asks. Linus is a father twice over, so I know he knows about the post-partum. Moa, his wife, has been a godsend with the advice. 

“I’m getting better.  Being on the road is a good distraction.” I smile. “I actually need your guys' help.”  

“What's up?” Jeremy asks. I explain what I want to do, and the guys look at me funny. “Don’t you want a girlfriend for this?” 

“She has stuff to do while she’s here.” I don’t say her name because I know that she and Jeremy are still not speaking. When I thought about it, they make sense.  He is perfect for her and vice versa. The pictures looked bad but when Andy explained what had happened, I tried to talk to Stella, but she was not having it.  

“I’ll grab one of their sticks,” Linus offered. He went out to the equipment storage room, leaving me with Jeremy.  

Its awkward for a moment, until I hear, “is she ok?” I look up at him and my heart breaks for him. I’ve never seen the look in his eyes before. When he was angry, sure. Happy, all the time. But what he has is heart break because I can see that he is in love with my best friend.  

“She’s putting on a strong front, but I know she is heartbroken too. I’m trying to talk to her because Andy told me what happened, but she’s been hurt like this before. She’s protecting herself.”  

“From me? I told the guys I am in love that night. It's been her for a while. I was planning on telling her.” His posture is turn down in defeat.   

“Oh, Jer, I’m sorry.” I sit next to him and put my head on his shoulder.  

“I’m going to get her back Leia.  I have to. She’s my everything.”  

We hear the door opening and Jeremy wipes at his eyes. Linus comes in with two sticks and a couple of rolls of tape. He sees Jeremy’s eyes and frowns. “Everything ok?” 

“Yes Linus. Just reminiscing about the birth.” I look down at the stroller with Avery asleep. “Never got to properly thank Jer for holding my hand. I’m still sorry about your hand.”  

“Swear it’s the reason I got the shutout in New York,” he says with a wink. “So, do you have the paint?” 

Andy 

We’re headed out to warm up for game one when Alicia stops me and Luke.  “Guys, we need you to take some photos with some specialty sticks.” She guides us to the ice before handing us the sticks. We both pose before I look at the stick. And I choke up. “Alicia?” 

“Leia wanted to make them for you.” She smiled as she continues to snap pictures.  

On the tape of the blades are tiny hand and footprints in pink with the words “good luck daddy love Avery” painted on them. I see Luke wiping his eyes as he stares at his, the words “kick butt Uncle Luke” written on his. I look up and I see Leia with Avery in her carrier standing behind the bench. I get as close as I can. “You did this?” 

“I had some help but yeah. We’re so proud of you Andy.” She looks down at Avery, who has on the tiniest ear defenders on, in pink, of course. “I love you. Go kick some Toronto ass.” She presses her hand to the glass, and I reach up with mine.  

“I love you my queen and my princess.”  

I don’t play with that stick, but I leave it in the tunnel for luck.  And luck did it bring. We won that game and the next one to take the series back home. I’ve decided to keep that stick in my locker and take it with me for every game this playoff season.  

After we land, I tuck my girls into the car. Avery had a rough night, so Leia and I are dog tired. I had stayed on the phone with Leia while she worked to sooth Avery. She finally conked out around three A.M., and we had a flight at eight. Nobody was a happy camper but luckily, Avery stayed asleep in Luke’s arms, giving me and Leia some much needed rest.  

We have a light practice this afternoon and I keep thinking of things we need to get now that we are home. Maybe I can take Leia to bed. We’ve only started to fool around now that she has the all clear from her doctor. The thought of having her body under me starts to make me hard and I almost miss seeing a black Mercedes parked in front of the house and my defenses goes up. All thoughts of a sexy nap with my girl fly out the window. I pull the car all the way in the garage and close the door.  “Leia, stay inside with Avery.”  

“Andy? What’s the matter?”  

“I don’t know baby, but just stay inside. Don't open the door unless you see on the camera that I am alone.”  I move to go out the side door, lock it and pull it close. I move to the front of house and the car doors open.   

Fuck my life.  

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit @texmexdarling @slutforchrisjamalevans @firephotogrl74 @tinkerbelle67 @before-we-get-started @bunnyforhim @alexakeyloveloki @sunnyhummingbee @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @peaceinourtime82 @saucy-sassy-sparkly @kmc1989 @kandis-mom @lokislady82

[coridallasmultipass]

brocal for the ship bingo?

The OTP to end all other OTPs... (Man. This wound up being basically Cori's Masterpost of BroCal. AKA... this got long and has some images, since I realized I can post my own art directly instead of just a text link to it lol.)

Wasn't actually expecting this to wind up with a bingo? But I got basically 2?? (Will explain the lighter heart later.) This is A LONG post, and definitely gonna get SUGGESTIVE, bc man, am I obSESSED with BroCal. I'm just gonna go thru each checked box, since I don't know how else to structure this post lol.

Read More to save ppl's dashboards:

I want them to make out with blood: OKAY. I HAVE A WHOLE THING PLANNED FOR THIS CONCEPT. I AM NOT GOING TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT IT JUST YET BC I ACTUALLY WANNA WRITE IT. I'm obsessed with this one fanart of Bro licking Lil Cal, and it spurred on an idea I outlined and really wanna write: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/739969858334294016/hiiii-mutual-i-am-secrecy-asking-if-u-have-anymore

((Sorry for the plain text links, Tumblr app is NOT cooperating with me right now to add hyperlinks. I'd post the image directly if that one was mine.))

Basically, I just really need to see Bro and Cal making out with blood in their mouths, and I started a whole convoluted, unrelated outline in order to make that hapen. It'll probably just be a really short thing that ends at the uh climax, since otherwise it's gonna end up sadstuck. And I don't like sadstuck lol.

Undeniably t4t: Bro and Dirk are always trans for me, and Lil Cal's got that uh... what percentage did I calculate it out to be? 13% of Dirk is in Lil Cal [ My shitpost calculations: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/746702663327072256/i-ran-out-of-tags-rambling-about-this-so-im-just ] so Lil Cal is at least 13% trans because of that much of Dirk being in him, plus however you feel about the other components being trans. LMAO this is ridiculous to type out. Moving on.

EDIT: FUTURE CORI INTERJECTING WITH A:

"Lil Cal Top Surgery Healing Progess: Day 1"

Terrible for each other affectionate/derogatory: I don't even know where the affectionate/derogatory split occurs. I multiship BroCal as both Bro/normal puppet Lil Cal and as Bro/evil juju puppet Lil Cal, and whatever combination in between or outside of that. Terrible in that Bro is so obsessed with Cal that he doesn't have normal relationship/social skills and uses Lil Cal as both a crutch and motivator alternately, in a terrible cycle, or maybe rather... spiral. And also terrible in that Bro is caught in the allure of playing the role of puppeteer while also being a puppet for the darker parts of Lil Cal, whether he actively knows it or not. (Honestly though, I feel like it's dismissive if you try to blame all of Bro's faults on Lil Cal like this tho, which is why I tend towards liking Lil Cal as just a regular puppet a lil bit more. Or at least, a regular mildly supernatural puppet since that can be a little more entertaining if Cal can get into mischief while no one's looking or give off the vibes of his mood more directly, rather than like entirely inanimate or 'just LE, trapped in a puppet body.' Again, I like all of these concepts.) ((I mean that can also be a whole post of its own, like, by the time Bro gets ahold of Lil Cal, are any of the other components still alive in there? Like, are ARquius and Gamzee still in there or did Caliborn kill and consume them entirely? Idk how it works, man. This is why I like Lil Cal as his own person, maybe just influenced by the feelings of the others. LaCroix: CalGamARquius essenced water. Lil Croix.))

They need to get weirder with it: YES YES. 1000% YES. I need entirely shameless Bro doing entirely shamless things to Lil Cal. I want them inseparable and doing unspeakable things to each other. I want Bro taking full advantage of Cal having a puppet body and all the intimacy that comes with making repairs and being elbow-deep in stuffing.

Playing with them like dolls cute/psychological torture: This is the same divide as with the 'terrible for each other' point, so I'm just gonna go with the cute one, since the torture one is self-explanatory. I want them fucking married. Like. Full mushy cute romance type of relationship that Bro has never felt for any of the people in his life (cough aromantic cough). I made this comic not too long ago, and I often fondly look back on it, because I adore the concept of Bro being lovey and romantic and everything out of character around Lil Cal because he feels safe and loved and comfortable around Cal:

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/750602227910131712/brocal-4-lyfe-so-i-had-this-idea-of-dave-being ]

I made a post a long, long time ago (not gonna link that one bc it was personal and I was being very obviously mentally ill ["C'mon, like you're not being obviously mentally ill while typing paragraph upon paragraph about BroCal still in 2024 like 10 years later??" Fair.]) But the gist of it was that, like, having objectophilia or objectum sexuality is like, from an outsider pov, it's a way to express love to yourself. You filter all your self-hate through the object you love, and you get back unconditional love in return.

Lil Cal is never gonna hate Bro, no matter what Bro does. As a regular puppet, Lil Cal doesn't have the capacity for hate. And so that only brings them closer, since Cal is never gonna reject Bro for any reason. (Back to being a crutch. RSD is real, and Dave is probably a big trigger for that since he's not on the same wavelength of weird as Bro [not blaming Dave, obviously, this is a post about BroCal].) Bro can experience receiving positive attention from Lil Cal, without feeling 'fake' or uncool by expressing that same attention or affection directly to his own self. (Things are always done through multiple layers with the Striders, aren't they?) ((And I'm not saying Lil Cal doesn't love Bro, or that their relationship is just pretend - it's real, I'm just like, 'What's going on behind the curtain in the mundane situation?/ How is the relationship appealing?' Lil Cal luvs Bro 5eva 4 lyfe and that's a hard fact. Could cut diamonds with that shit.)) Example: maybe Bro is dealing with a bout of body/gender dysphoria and is trying to take out his frustration with working out, and it's not helping, even if he's powered through a set better than normal. Then, he notices the way Lil Cal is watching him, and he can feel the excitement seeping off Cal. He can sense the echoes of a wolf-whistle ring out through his mind, and it's like. Okay, none of that shit from before matters, he's got all the validation he needs right there in Lil Cal. Maybe flex in Cal's direction, Bro?

Oh, so back to being cute: isn't it wonderful how the template maker phrased it as 'playing dolls'? But yeah, I want all the mush and everything. Bro has a whole wardrobe for Lil Cal for every minor event that occurs in the Strider household. I want them going on genuine dates. Maybe even... holding hands. Bro blushes for the first time since he was 16. He even gets to take Lil Cal with him when he goes out to DJ or put on a show. Not to mention the whole website business. (I've talked about Cal's role in that before, but I'll mention it in a moment...)

They will die in a heart shaped pool of blood: I mean, kinda did happen, even tho Lil Cal didn't perma die right there. I don't think this one needs any explanation, since it basically happens in canon.

'You should see the other guy...': Okay, so. About 11 years ago, I had a really great idea. About how smuppets enter this world. I expanded on it in the following more-recent post (adult only content lol): https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741683686717669376/back-in-the-day-my-friends-called-me-insane-when-i

To sum it up, whenever Bro makes a new smuppet design, he then gives it a video debut on his website, where uh, Lil Cal births the smuppet like it's a horror movie scene, fake blood and poly-fil gore all over the place as the smuppet crawls out from the viscera. Bro then gets to play aftercare by lovingly and gently cleaning up and restuffing Lil Cal as they get to admire their new creation and rake in the dough lol.

So it's technically not a 'you should see the other guy' kinda situation, but it does involve one of them being... idk what word would describe it. Injured by the other? Usually a character loses a fight and says this to act like they got out of it better than the other guy, but... We could have someone knock on the door during the filming of a scene like that, and Bro has to answer it with fake blood up to his elbows, and be like 'You should see the other guy.' (But obviously, that's a terrible idea and would cause more trouble than it's worth... Maybe worth it for a persistent door to door salesperson, though.)

Though, I guess I should also say, I'm not opposed to Bro beating on Lil Cal in or out of the bedroom. Or in the case of animate Lil Cal, Cal choking out Bro. In or out of the bedroom, lol. Depends on the situation, like I said I will ship this ship any which way. But my preference for animate Lil Cal is to be like a totally normal puppet around Bro (or mushy in-love with Bro) and then evil-murder-puppet towards anyone else in Bro's life, like a... toxic yaoi guard puppet. (New Phrase Achievement Unlocked!) Bro brings home another guy to have sex, who tries to stay the night due to the late hour, but the guy wakes up shortly after to see Lil Cal standing there with a knife in the dark, eyes glowing red. Panic ensues when the guest screams and freaks out, and by the time Bro's got a light on, grabbing his sword, ready for a ninja vs ninja fight (bc an intruder would've had to bypass all the traps), Lil Cal is just innocently splayed across the desk chair, no knife in sight. Relevant post (well, the caption on the post too, saying how Bro can't seem to hold onto any relationships besides Lil Cal):

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741830516962164736/i-want-you-so-youre-mine-always-selfishly ]

Uh, lol, also Cal choking out Bro in the bedroom, adult only drawing: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/754328907438800896/i-wouldnt-wanna-be-my-ex-when-he-found-out-who

Thinking about them always and forever: Listen. My Tumblr as proof, I've had BroCal on the brain for at least 11 years at this point. Definitely longer, since I first started reading Homestuck. I fucking love puppets and dolls and plushies and I always have. Man, if I hadn't deleted Tweets (automated app I used to do, and I couldn't choose what to save) from when I was in high school, you could've seen me @ ing my fave band when they were taking lyric suggestions on a fan-inspired album, where I was telling them 'make a song where the theme is puppets' and, while I don't know if they saw that or took the suggestion (they had responded to me before bc they weren't huge yet), there is indeed a song titled "Puppets" on that album, and it was my favourite song on there. Point is, I was fated to ship BroCal before I even knew it existed.

Sicko 2 sicko communication: I mean, does this even need explaining? Bro and Cal aren't just on the same wavelength of freaky, they're the fucking source of the wavelength, and it's causing a feedback loop between them. And it does as feedback does, which is, it amplifies with time. (Going back to the spiral symbolism here, lol.) ((Actually, time can play a symbol here, too, I guess, but idk how to word it, I'm starting to run out of steam.))

Let them have a happy ending: God, I need this so badly. I know Bro's story ends in Homestuck, but like. Pls. Someone needs to officiate their wedding. Currently placing the dreambubble order, but I can't organize a wedding by myself. OH speaking of. In that lil comic I did above, where Bro is accepting Lil Cal's proposal, I had the Natural Born Killers wedding scene in mind. I was gonna draw that as a follow up, but I think I have too many WIPs going. Just two people on the run, saying "I do" in a scenic but completely ordinary roadside location. Idk why, I keep going back to that movie for things related to Bro (I mention it in a very important scene in a longer WIP I've been writing, as something Bro watched and internalized as a kid lol.) It's not the best movie lol. Anyway.

The devotion omg: I feel like I have already gotten my point across about this, but let me reiterate:

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/735842968450269184/in-the-name-of-iconic-magical-girl-anime-ill ]

Bro and Lil Cal absolutely beat the shit outta Jack Noir before he gets prototyped. And even then, they fight together till the death, like. C'mon. Nothing more romantic than fighting a losing battle side by side. Also, like, Lil Cal having his own protective chest for safekeeping as seen in the Strider living room? Like, you don't just have a protective case for any old thing, especially something meant to be handled, especially something that is regularly used to smack other things/humans. What I'm saying is, Lil Cal is durable and resilient, and yet, Bro still has a case for transporting Cal safely. Oh, wait, I just thought of something funny, what if Lil Cal goes feral like a cat, and basically the chest is like a cat carrier so Bro can drive without being constricted lmaoooo, I've been typing for hours can you tell?

Kind of homophobic: Listen. I HAD a Cal. Took him to college. Staked my claim on the top bunk bc I am royalty. Proceeded to not have anywhere to set my water cup and had to use a cardboard box as a table up there. Spilled water. Melted Cal's sharpie-drawn face. And then proceeded to cry. I have a WIP of Lil Cal 2, but that requires actually remembering to work on him. I wanna do better by the pattern, too, since I rushed to finish the first. I have all the material! I have the project started! So it's just a matter of reordering my WIP priorities, honestly.

Where is all the fucking content?!: For realzz. I was actually venting about this the other day (didn't end up posting it), but it's like, either there's no BroCal content, or there IS BroCal content, but I can't reblog it for reasons I don't want to get into on this post. I'm dying of thirst in the ocean, basically. Whatever. This just means I need to make more BroCal content myself, which I am more than happy to do. I've just had a rough past few months, so I'm glad I got to type all this post out, and hopefully I can get back to creating soon.

Last one! I hope this one makes up for the absurd length of the post, it's prob my new fave idea I just came up with on the spot.

[TW drink spiking by a stranger mentioned in this.]

Committing atrocities as their silly little activities: I think we all know what this means, but I am going to ignore that elephant with my special x-ray vision. Because this is a BroCal post. I'm digging deep to the meat and bones of this. Honestly, this could go multiple routes, it depends on how you take your Lil Cal.

One could place emphasis on the 'guard' part of the, ahem ahem, toxic yaoi guard puppet. Maybe someone is actually trying to harm Bro, and Bro legit can't do anything for reasons outside of his control - let's say his drink got spiked a while after he invited a stranger home that he thought was chill. As Bro gets shoved down on the futon, his memory of the night is only a few flickers. Familiar orange plush, roiling around above him like a dancing windsock. Flashes of Lil Cal's face all distorted and stretched wide like a funhouse. J-Lo and Ice Cube on the TV. But when Bro is finally able to fully wake up in the morning, everything is as if he just got home alone last night and passed out on the futon. Cal looks totally normal and content tucked under Bro's warm arm. Except when Bro gets up, there is a pair of shoes too big to belong to him at the door. Maybe Bro knows. Maybe instinct tells him to run. Maybe he does, but he's running towards Lil Cal, every time.

[joculatrixster]

thank you for replying! -i understand where youre coming from but i feel like some of the points you brought up about scott can't just be boiled down to homophobia if that makes sense- like people see scott as calculated because he calls making allies/friendships a 'social game' etc . and obviously grian and joel berating and teasing jimmy also isn't entirely fine but i think toxicity in the context of an alliance vs a canon-explicit marriage should be weighed differently, but ultimately im not sure that grian is actually necessarily "worse" than scott; while i think grian and joel and jimmy do have an unbalanced dynamic alot of the 'berating' between them is more like 'jimmy you idiot you died to xyz' whereas with scott in 3l it felt a bit more manipulative likewhen scott purposely placed something to scare jimmy and then made fun of him for being scared but. idk

also i think everyone understands that they're friends in real life and nothing ccjimmy is actually uncomfortable with would make it into a video but this is just to think about/interpret their characters within the context of the roleplay/storyline

again this isnt meant as an attack or anything at all - i just wanted to talk about why some people would have a different interpretation of fh!

thats fair, i read ur reply when i was busy i dont remember it well but honestly a fair take ^-^b i dont think it ALL is sorry i didnt make it clear i think the reason its POPULAR is bc scott fans r not rlly the ppl doing this its jimmy fans who dominate the fandom way more, but the fact irs happening to the gay guy IS weird and something to raise a brow to especially when there r more weird extreme fans who take it wayyy too far

it feels unbalanced to me bc it is, grian and joel have more fans in the life series rlly than scott bc most scott fans r just not life series postinfg, so when grian or joel does something mean to others in a similar vien its seen less in a negative light. im going off of memory so forgive me if i get a bit fuzzy w it

scott teases jimmy their friendship is kinda rivalry type thing its rlly just how they r, but ppl r not as used to it which is understandable too. idrc if ppl think scott is a bit manipulative hes just like. vilinized for it or seen as cold when he clearly still cares for his allies? he sacrificed SO much time in lil, he let ppl kill him in secret life, i wish i saw ppl rlly speak more on those better parts of him but also its just more normalized to intpret his actions more cold than it is for say grian who could be seen as cold for how easy he sheds alliances.

every intpretation is fine but w scott it genuinely goes into character bashing territory or just making him the stand in vilian jimmy needs to be saved from in fandom spaces which is agian fine if it happened to other characters who r similarly manipulative or calculating(martyn, scar, impulse even...) but deadass ive never seen anyone but scott put in such a position. which is weird. to me. especially when framed as him being bashed or vilinized for his straight friend who ppl hc he abuses like...ok. but where is the same energy for scar who is deadass evil af in 3rd life and limited life..? scar who destroys the ranch and kills his mother and doesnt apologize for either??? is it bc ppl just like him more so it makes more sense wven he does manipulative stuff??? martyn who is notoriously devisive for his ending and playstyle but in fics like its not great but he tends to not be as hated or put in the same level of bashing pll do for scott? hes prob the closest ive seen to the way scott is seen as an easy stand in vilian but i have not seen it as bad for him?

tho anon no not everyone understands there is a group of ppl who genuinely think scott in real life is an abusive person and actually that inspired my original post bc pll said w their whole chest they think scott is bad and makes jimmy uncomfortable

sorry if this is jumbled the other anon message is turning me into the joker...i get what u mean and i DO think its naunced but ppl REFUSE to acknowledge how weird it can feel for others to see and while i do think there r other factors...this fandom has leaned into homophobia for scott especially more frindge jimmy fans, sorry i think i mixed up a lot of things in my replys i was busy and also i genuinely dont care enough about tumblr anon posting to explain every naunce of an issue ie why i put pearl as a tag on bc the mysongy of all that is not for today thank u ^-^b

[karuvapatta]

ok. ok. here goes:

the reason why I want Izzy Hands to get a redemption arc / happy ending is because I think it would be good for both him *and* Ed. hear me out.

Izzy’s easy. He wants the peace, safety, and stability of their life under the Blackbeard flag; but he needs to learn to put Ed’s well-being ahead of his own self-interest. A fairly simple character arch.

Ed’s slightly more complicated.

Smarter people than me have already pointed out that Ed always adjusts his behaviour to fit the expectations of whoever he’s talking to. He has a conflicted relationship with his Blackbeard identity - tired of it, willing to abandon it, and yet fiercely protective of “the brand” and the way it is misinterpreted and exaggerated by others. His most prized possession - the piece of red silk - is a reminder of his own mother telling him he isn’t adequate, isn’t worthy of certain things. And when he tries to reach for these things, this other sort of life - he is constantly shot down. First by the captured captain, then the aristocrats at the party and then, finally, by Stede himself.

Ed’s post-breakup spiral seems to be going well enough - but why would he expect it to last? How long until the crew begin to mock him, until Izzy abandons him too? I don’t think it’s fair to say that Ed felt physically threatened by Izzy, but he certainly didn’t want to be rejected and abandoned again. So he built up this new persona, new mask to hide behind, finally letting go of his hopes of this other life he could have. Where he could be happy, and enjoy fine things.

My point is: Ed made that choice. He chose to jump off the slippery slope. I think it’s doing his character a disservice to pretend that he was forced into becoming the Kraken, or that he is descending into madness.

One could argue that Ed should just stop caring about what people think about him, and live his best life. Stede had no problem doing just that - he is told that he’s inadequate, too soft, not a proper pirate, but he doesn’t compromise his own identity in response. No, he stands his ground and creates his own brand of piracy, following his own values and beliefs. But Stede is validated for his choices! During the climactic trial, he finally gets what he never had - social acceptance. His crew (his chosen family) embraces his identity, even though it doesn’t conform to any norms, and it’s a beautiful moment.

...of course he then has to confront how his choices affect those around him, but that’s a different matter entirely...

So. If Stede got accepted, why shouldn’t Ed get the same? I am personally glad they didn’t run away to China together, and hope their story doesn’t end with them all alone, no matter how seemingly happy they may be. Ed deserves a chosen family too, and he deserves to believe that he won’t get abandoned/rejected by them eventually.

...he also needs to make amends for the atrocities he committed. But I digress.

The point is: Izzy is important to Ed. Aside from Stede, that’s who he’s closest to within the show. During episode 3? 4? they spend the whole time throwing out bids for attention, that somehow pass unnoticed. They both lash out against the other - Izzy throws a fit and threatens to resign, Ed fucks with him by withholding crucial information, dismissing his fears and showing off. “See? You should have trusted me.” But it’s not a triumphant moment for Ed, is it? He made a fatal mistake - and Izzy’s the one who points it out. It’s a really nice bit, because it shows how great they used to be when they were a team. It would be nice if they got to be that again.

If Izzy dies as his pathetic evil self, Ed will never get closure on that relationship. He won’t get acceptance from someone who is this important to him. He won’t get an apology until Izzy learns the error of his ways. And while you could argue that Ed shouldn’t need any of these things, well - he isn’t wrong to want them.

[brakingpoint]

It's also been weird to me to see sects of fandom demonize McLaren for dropping Ricciardo for underperforming, then demonizing AT them for taking him back 'just for PR' as if that makes any sense. Then criticise Red Bull for dropping an underperforming driver 'too soon' (??? honey welcome to business and sport??), and then criticise Red Bull for not dropping the driver they brought into replace him as older experience for an untested rookie.

The fandom removes the concept of drivers own agency, but also it straight cannot make up its mind. It's a new breed of crazy sports fans mixed with modern social media moral grandstanders.

i do think, to be fair, that a lot of the specific examples in this ask are coming from different sides of the fandom (like i don't think the people lambasting mclaren for dropping ricciardo are usually the same fans begging for lawson to replace him full time at AT, yknow?) but i do find when you look at specific driver or team fandoms there's a degree of hypocrisy going on. like, i'd say there's probably more of an overlap between daniel fans who were furious with mclaren for dropping him for underperforming, and daniel fans who are entirely in favour of red bull dropping checo for underperforming. this discourse was not meant to turn into ricciardo wank but apparently that's where we are this afternoon. whoops

anyway, of course some level of hypocrisy in sports opinions is justifiable and entirely expected, in part because Sports Fans Are Biased And That Is The Nature Of Being A Sports Fan, and also because sometimes the circumstances are different enough to warrant a different opinion on the morals of a given sacking (for example i personally think that "firing a driver who frequently struggles to reach Q3 in a championship winning car", or "firing a driver who, over 2 years in a theoretically competitive midfield car, failed time and time again to consistently extract the same results from it as his teammate", is quite different to "firing a rookie 10 races into the season because he is having unremarkable - but not terrible, with the car's awful performance taken into account - results compared to his teammate with 2 years' experience in that team")

BUT i think it can come off the wrong way when fans are openly biased (in terms of rooting for a driver to get sacked so your fave can get a seat) and act like performance-related sackings are inflicted by cruel and uncaring teams for Vague Evil Reasons Involving Lots Of Conspiracies And Sabotage. which is why i think - to bring this massive tangent back from "complaining about a subsection of daniel fans" and back to the point i was making in my original post lmfao - both the Athletes' Mental Health issue and the Teams Are Allowed To Fire Drivers Who Are Not Doing Well issue need to be allowed to coexist in this fandom with considerably more nuance

[doonarose]

I am exhausted... Three fairly busy days of work. Three very busy and stressful nights of science outreach where I was running everything and once again failed to delegate. Really average engagement as well, which meant I was scrambling each night to get enough tickets sold and whatever, but it mostly turned out in the end. It did mean that I was working 8-3 and 5-10 every day with the middle two hours break dedicated to nipping home, walking and feeding the dogs, getting changed and heading back out. And then running between two venues trying to manage shitty science speakers and MCs and volunteers. Mostly a success though.

Two major things soured it. Last night, our last night, at the venue we've used for two years running and that has, on the whole of things, been great. Between managed The Rest of It, and my dean (evil incarnate and a walking talking karen) being the average MC (we had a best science joke comp and she was reading them out and she opened with 'I'm not a joke person' and then gave off the vibe 'if you laugh at this you're the worst' but then also got annoyed that no one was laughing)... anyway, between all that, one of the wait staff pulled me to side and gave me the heads up that the chef wanted a private word with me... because one of our speakers had announced the event to his entire 50 students class (great!) and gone on to say they should eat before they come because the venue's food was over priced and awful (wtf?).

So then I went and talked to the chef between speakers and he was pretty reasonable and I'm on his side, but also, like, his instinct was to go and fight my speaker which... I was against, but like... great... and he wanted an apology (which, also, fair) and I think I handled it (and am still handling it) well enough but... why?

And the other fun thing was at the second venue on the second night, I was there for setup and then went back across for the last half hour, and paid off the bar tab. This is for the speakers, the MC, and the one or two volunteers who help with setup and taking tickets. We are capped at $200 a night. I went to pay it and it was almost $400 and had ten main meals on it. Worked out a bunch of PhD students just decided they also qualified... like one who kept asking to volunteer and sitting with my actual volunteer but who did nothing. And then at least three others who just came to the events... The tickets were $8 and to access the tab you had to say you were a volunteer so either these PhD students are astronomically stupid or they're just thieves (from either me or a not-for-profit). So now I'm chasing that up and there's gonna be about $100 I need to do some creative accounting with and there is still one student who sees intent on just not owning up to her mistake? Like at least the other three have said it was some sort of mistake and agreed to pay me back. But like, wtf is wrong with people.

Also this kind of high social energy activity means I don't fall asleep until 2am and then have nasty real-feeling dreams of things going even more wrong and then wake up and repeat. This after a weekend down with family and... it's like week 10 of semester and I am just spent.

Also I have almost-finished porn I would like to get posted.

But I'm still doing pick-up assessment today and have class tomorrow at 9am and for some dumb reason I'm taking my lab group to the art gallery tonight because it's free. I'm just... tired.

[transformatives]

Queer Transformation in the Online Supernatural Fan-Community

The whiteboard at the front of the dusty classroom read out “PTSD” in big black letters. My class was on the mental health unit of seventh grade health, a topic which caused some to snicker but which made me and my group of newly queer, feminist, staunchly liberal friends nod in approval. The teacher, a coach with thinning hair, asked if anybody knew anything about PTSD. My friend, a fellow nerd, raised her hand and quickly went into a spiel about a book she read about the blossoming love between two male characters that was tragically cut short by one of the characters being drafted into the Vietnam War. With a start, I remembered what we had been discussing recently and with a sick jolt it hit me: my friend was talking about Supernatural fanfiction in front of our entire class. 

Supernatural is an action-adventure drama series that debuted in 2005 and ran for 15 years. It follows two brothers, Dean and Sam Winchester, as they trek across the U.S.A. in search of supernatural monsters to hunt, and it later evolved into something resembling bible fanfiction as the main cast was expanded to include angels, demons, and other biblical entities. Though it was originally written to appeal to a mostly conservative, middle american, male audience, it was quickly picked up by a younger, female, queer, and internet-savvy audience that would go on to create incredibly heartfelt transformative works about queerness, homophobia, and mental health. However, the journey there is a complicated one.

In 1973, film theorist Laura Mulvey coined the term “male gaze” as a form of media creation that “portrays women as objects and nothing more”. I believe that Laura Mulvey would agree that Supernatural falls directly into the space of the male gaze. Its depictions of women relegated them to a few limiting roles, likely due to the male dominated writer’s room and intended audience. These roles included: the deceased mother, the blushing virgin, the deceased girlfriend, the hooker with a heart of gold, the evil demon, the deceased almost-girlfriend, etc etc (are we seeing a pattern here?). While there were a few standout female characters, such as the nerdy hacker lesbian Charlie or the charmingly midwestern Donna, the general rule of Supernatural was that if there was a female character, she was more likely than not going to die a brutal and sometimes sexually charged death. This writing is problematic in itself, but it gets really interesting once you factor in the fans. 

Despite the fact that Supernatural had a mostly female fanbase and a solid amount of queer fans, reactions to female characters were complicated, especially in the beginning. One infamous poem from 2009 blog “Just Go Demon-Ho” lists reason why the demon love interest Ruby needed to be written off, including such inspiring lines as “Just leave now b*tch, we will stand up and cheer”. While access to the early internet allowed for fans to discuss their love of their favorite show, it also provided a breeding ground for fans to spread hatred and misogyny online. In this is the double-bladed sword: once anonymized, the internet allows for people to show their true colors, and this can often be very ugly. While people might feel the pressure to tone down such strong opinions in real life settings, people will often post without thought online under the pretense that “nobody will care anyway”, although this is not true. Perhaps there was also the perception that since these characters weren’t real, then the audience’s misogyny wasn’t hurting anybody, even if these comments could be internalized by other fans. 

Such behavior makes me wonder which came first: the audience’s internalized misogyny or the show’s external misogyny. I believe that they went hand in hand. Hegemony is defined by sociologist James Lull as “the power or dominance that one social group holds over others” (Gender, Race, and Class in Media 6th Edition, Page 41). As opposed to other forms of oppression, hegemony functions by convincing one social group that they are not being oppressed, and that their oppression is actually a result of nature or how things should be. In a way, since the female characters of Supernatural were not portrayed as actual human beings, the audience could not perceive any new female character as such, unless they were firmly out of the range of “potential love interest”. Fan perception of female characters was so harmed by this internet echo chamber of misogyny that it was very difficult to break out of the hegemony of “girl=bad, man=good”. Paradoxically, there was still a desire for these fans to see Dean and Sam in complex romantic relationships, but in the words of writer Anna Campbell from Medium, “...in general it’s hard to write a compelling heterosexual romance, after all, if all your women are objects more than agents.” Enter Castiel, angel of the Lord. 

Season 4 of Supernatural begins with Dean being raised from hell by the angel Castiel, who declares that “God commanded it”. Castiel then showed up repeatedly throughout the season, eventually becoming part of the main cast. Fans went wild. Here was a male character with an interesting backstory and relationship with one of the main characters, unlike previous love interests that were only caricatures of real women. It is doubtless that the fanbases’ misogyny also played a part in the popularity of a gay relationship, but the result is fascinating. In internet fan communities, a practice known as “shipping” is common, where fans take two characters that they think would look good together and create fanworks about them being in a relationship. This can manifest as simply blogging about them, or in transformative works (defined as “A new work based on an old one work [the new work] is transformative if it uses the source work in completely new or unexpected ways”) like art, fanfiction, and videos. And on the internet, gay relationships reign supreme. 

When someone unaware of online fan-culture is exposed to this fact, it can be confusing. But when all of the factors are considered, it really is not that surprising. From its inception, the internet has been a place where people can find groups of people with similar ideals as them that they might not find in real life. For many queer people, especially queer teenagers, the internet was where they first learned about LGBTQ+ identities and communities. Combine this with the fact that a lot of mainstream media is made with the male gaze and many female characters fall flat, and you get a female, queer community online that is simultaneously displeased with the disappointments of heterosexual pairings and the lack of queer representation in mainstream media. When more attention in films and tv shows is given to complex, fulfilling male relationships than is given to heterosexual pairings, then why wouldn’t people want to explore what is given to them? 

Queer readings of mainstream texts allow for the audience to glean more from the narrative, coming away with their own rich interpretations. As queer studies scholar Alexander Doty writes, “Queer readings aren’t ‘alternative’ readings. They result from the recognition and articulation of the complex range of queerness that has been in popular culture texts and their audiences all along.” By creating fanworks that investigate certain untapped aspects of characters (such as the popular interpretation that Dean Winchester is bisexual due to his innuendos, posturing, repression, and overcompensating masculinity), fans explore these aspects within themselves. Transformative fiction is not just “stealing” the ideas of the published work, but instead ways of furthering one’s understanding of it. The internet is a place where creators do not have to concern themselves with the pressures of a corporation worried about profitability, which often pushes media to fall into the male gaze. Rather, individuals can create works through the female gaze, which Laura Mulvey writes as, “Characters viewed through the lens of the female gaze are not caricatures. The beauty of the female gaze is that it aims to empathize rather than objectify, to show emotion and intimacy while also showing respect. This is a refreshing idea compared to the control, dominance, and superficialities of the male gaze.” Fanfiction, though often derided by popular culture, is a statement of rebellion. 

And now we return to seventh grade health class, with the warm afternoon sun shining through the window onto the face of my friend. I am mildly mortified that she is speaking about Supernatural fanfiction (disguised as it may be) in front of our entire class. I wonder to myself: How could someone relate something as serious as PTSD to a show so terrible and misogynistic as Supernatural, and then proudly declare it? Well, I would never. Meanwhile, she is thinking about her favorite show, about how much it means to her despite its flaws. She is thinking about how she and other fans have taken something that is often discriminatory to the very people they are, and how despite what others may think, they’ve transformed it into something that embraces queerness, neurodivergence, and mental health. Gay transformative works can be liberating to the queer community, but it must be acknowledged that the abundance of male/male romances are largely in response to a lack of properly written female characters. People can make lemonade out of lemons, but that doesn’t stop the fact that corporations are squeezing lemon juice into our eyes. Still, in a world where the powers that be dictate the reign of toxic masculinity, it is the rebellious joy of the creative fan to see that and then transform it into any of the beautifully diverse narratives it asks to become.

[thevagabondexpress]

why is it, you think, that I understand neurodivergence so well and in jungian psychology I get all the little ‘functions’ (can’t remember their real name) behind the myers briggs types. but when it comes to this shadow stuff? I’ve got no way of placing it and don’t know how to make head or tail of it most of the time. I’ve heard it said ro be the last function in your stack (Si for me as an ENFP) or the secondary four functions that aren’t your main four (the opposite introvert/extrovert orientations) but like. I’m not sure that explains it, from your post I kinda feel like it’s anything that we mask and suppress. Like neurodivergence, which means for some of us our shadow could be our entire self pretty much. And I’m conscious of not basing entire theories of real life psychology on fivtional characters but there really needs to be a way to integrate jung’s stuff with neurodiversify, even though I’ve not really seen anyone do jt. I’ve got more thoughts but I’m gonna leave it at this for now, what do you think?

okay. so. i do have thoughts here. first off, jung is about as much philosophy as he is actual psychology. secondly, the fact that there is no one single definition of the shadow i think is a good definition for the shadow in and of itself. it's nebulous. it defies the neat boxes of mbti and enneagram and the dsm-5. i've heard a number of interpretations of the shadow, everything from the evil, antisocial side of the self to your "last function in the stack."

personally, i define the shadow as your mental early warning system. the shadow prompts your ego to act on the needs, wants, emotions, desires that you've been processing subconsciously while you do other things. the shadow tells you, "we're angry," prompting us to choose between yelling at that guy and walking away from him. the shadow tells us, "we feel like shit," prompting us to make a choice between a shower and bed or grabbing another can of red bull to keep chugging. the shadow tells us, "we're hungry," so we go downstairs, decide on rotini for lunch, the shadow goes "ah, shit," when we discover we don't have rotini, and the persona is what doesn't say that out loud. the shadow is also the impatient, bad-ideas thing, it wants the easiest laziest now solution (yell at the guy, grab another can of red bull, sulk) to whatever it's prompting you about and it's up to the other parts of you to make a decision, do we answer the prompt from the shadow with its presented elementary schooler decision or do we choose something different.

as for neurodivergence, i think it's fair to treat the archetypes a bit like the old medieval concept of humors and the way they can become unbalanced. if dsm diagnoses like autism and sociopathy are "you've got tuberculosis," then the archetypes are "too much yellow bile." cluster b disorders are when your persona's a little bit skewed. executive + social function disorders like autism, adhd, pda, depression, anxiety are when your ego is a little bit skewed. and then fear-based, mood-based and hallucinatory disorders like depression, anxiety, ptsd, shizophrenia, etc, are when it's your shadow that's out of sorts: your early warning system overreacts or underreacts or invents.

personally i like this model. while the proper psychiatric definitions are important and empowering in their own way (saying "i have disorder, disorder, disorder, and possibly disorder" gives me something targetably specific that i can do something about), the three archetypes model i find better in practice for the lay day-to-day non-scientific setting. when, instead of, "i have disorder, disorder, disorder, and possibly disorder," i say, "my ego's a bit wrecked and my shadow's a bit wrecked," it helps me de-clinicize and re-romanticize my existence without losing track of the ability to define where i'm not like the machine expects me to be. i don't feel pitiable, or like a patient, or a statistic. the official diagnostic criteria helps me when i sit down with the psychiatrist, when i research the solutions and the issues. but in the day to day, when i need to do laundry/do homework/make lunch/etc and i don't wanna? when i think "disorder, disorder, and disorder are impacting executive function" i get a very i know this and it helps how? feeling from it. when i think, "ego's a bit fucked, shadow's a bit fucked," the snarky exhaustedness with which if remind myself of that leads me to an actual solution: i put jessica jones on the television and body double with her as we both drag ourselves through the shit we didn't want to do today.

[waitmyturtles]

I can’t believe I’m writing something not related to Moonlight Chicken (✨Alan x Gaipa/Gaipa x Alan✨), but here we go, before the big MC finale: I managed to finish the totally wonderful 10 Years Ticket, my first Thai lakorn, out of a continued devotion to rummaging the rabbitholes of actors/actresses that tore my heart apart in previous dramas. In this case, in the aftermath of my ravaging affair with Bad Buddy, I had to catch up on Nanon’s and Ohm’s latest works. Dirty Laundry was an easy bucket. Ohm’s 10 Years Ticket was a hell of a something else entirely. 

I understood that, going in to 10YT, lakorns are generally assumed to be soapy, and I had to admit that I was concerned about entering this tunnel -- especially because I have a history of being seriously disappointed by subpar cishet roles for my otherwise dear QL actors (AHEM MACHIDA KEITA, the man needs better scripts; Akaso Eiji is faring so much better). As well, I’m not even all that familiar with Ohm’s other BLs and non-QL dramas, as He’s Coming to Me is on my list of essential BLs to watch, and I’ll get to it soon (SOTUS first). 

So anyway, I came into this apprehensive, especially considering how LONG the series is, at 16 episodes, and I knew there was violence, which I generally avoid. But I should have given GMMTV more credit. It was UTTERLY bingeable, a VERY DEEP study into long-term intergenerational family and community trauma, and I found it totally compelling as someone who’s trained in the social services. And, I am a huge fan now of director Fon Kanittha, who, VERY IMPORTANTLY, will be directing Milk and Love’s GL, 23.5 (EEEEEEEE). So I was glad to check off not just an Ohm box, but Fon’s as well.

AND! Because I’m still so new to Thai dramas, I’ve never seen a QL/drama with Off before (lord help me as I contemplate jumping into OffGun). And 10YT had a wonderful stable of GMMTV actors in Tu Tontawan, View Benyapa (who was fantasssstic), Pluem Purim (who was also great), and Foei Patara (so evil, so good!). 

The casting was superb -- especially for the insanely difficult subject matter.

I don’t know if I want to spend that much time on the plot, but I’ll do my best to explain what plot points matter to why I thought the show was a success. The show centers on Ohm’s character, Phukao, whose half-brother, Mai (Pluem) is shot and killed when Phukao is a very young child. Phukao and Mai’s family are close with a number of other families in their community. Mai is a drug runner, and his girlfriend -- the older sister of one of the other friendly families -- takes the rap for the shooting and is sent to prison, causing almost permanent friction between the families. Later in the show, the girlfriend’s younger sister (Kongkwan, played by Tu), is reunited with Phukao; they were friends as young children, but separated after the shooting, and Phukao had a long-standing grudge against Kongkwan, until he realizes his feelings for her as an older teenager.

I’m going to add trigger warning tags to my review, because as part of the layering of intercommunity and intergenerational trauma of this show, I don’t think I’ve ever seen depicted in a drama a young child witnessing as much as young Phukao witnessed, including post-mortem scenes and episodes of abject family violence. So it honestly was not surprising to me that Ohm/Phukao and Tu/Kongkwan did not ACTUALLY have, quantifiably, a tremendous amount of screen or speaking time.

I peeped on the 10YT tag a few complaints that Phukao and Kongkwan were actually a pretty tame and not exciting couple, but I have to hand it to Fon, because -- I think she rendered these two teenage characters quite accurately. If I were studying Phukao’s and Kongkwan’s childhood stories in a social services course, I’d be amazed that the kids could even talk, considering what they experienced and witnessed by way of violence and loss. 

In other big, macro words: this show was led VERY deeply by the criss-crossed storytelling of ALL of the stories of the families of the community that was destroyed by Mai’s shooting death. The domestic hell of Phukao’s family after the shooting. Phukao terrorizing Kongkwan’s family in retaliation. Off’s character, Plu, caring for his grandparents by entering the drug running trade and lying about going to college. View’s character, Zo, growing up without a mother. A queer storyline at the parental generation. Parents abandoning their kids, then showing up again. A mafia family storyline with corrupt police mixed in. And throughout all of this, a major theme of movie storytelling bringing all of these individuals along on their life growth paths.

It’s a lot of shit, terrible adult-level trauma that children and teenagers had to face, oftentimes alone, oftentimes with parents that were barely keeping it together themselves. People die in the show, parents die in the show. Kids are left to process alone. It’s just a LOT.

And maybe one or two parts were rushed. BUT: I truly think Fon balanced the script beautifully, and I give her major credit for that. To tell a story of FOUR FAMILIES and their interconnected trauma -- and to bring the story together to unite and reunite a group of childhood friends who commit to holding each other down -- it was no wonder this series needed 16 episodes, but it didn’t drag. It paced beautifully, the storytelling was varied, and everything was done honestly, especially the very empathic queer storyline, which I won’t give away, but I’ll just say this: ASIA, we need more elder queer stories, because you do them SO WELL when it happens. It was beautifully and heartachingly done.

What was refreshing for me to watch in 10YT, as I’ve been quickly educating myself on the history of Thai BLs, was to see multiple generations of actors in a storyline. I’m (COUGH) entering my early middle-aged years, and while I love our darling actors/actresses in their 20s, I do need to watch shows with cohorts more around my age as well. 10YT gave me a drama where each episode was led by a different family or entity, and that generational variation lent major authenticity to a show that would have otherwise been lost if it had turned into a teeny-bop vehicle for Ohm and Tu.

For the screentime that Ohm and Tu *did* have -- they were FABULOUS. Ohm was GREAT, Y’ALL. Mans got such chops. Gah. My heart. His poor character got sent through the trauma ringer. Tu mostly cried for her parts, but she played a tough cookie in Kongkwan, and -- not to spoil this, but I gotta say it -- she did pursuer VERY well. Get it, gurl. Off was fantastic, and I can’t wait to catch up with him in Midnight Motel. But for my money, View absolutely ATE her role, and I want to see her have a major role in some amazing all-star drama/QL at some point.

Was 10YT as SMART, and sharp, and critical of intergenerational trauma as Bad Buddy? No, they’re incomparable, because the stories were vastly different. 10YT laid out a reality that parents can actually fail. They can really, truly fail. And even while they fail.... children may feel an unspeakable, inherent urge to still love those parents. And maybe those parents can try to redeem themselves, in some way. 

I’m realizing that what I’m loving about this modern crop of directors from GMMTV -- Aof, Jojo, and now Fon -- is that they do complicated characters VERY authentically. You, as a viewer, are almost not allowed to wallow in dualistic interpretations when trying to understand these characters. No good and bad here, unless it’s screamingly obvious. And I think that’s a really compelling ask for Asian directors to make of what is a majority Asian audience in Thailand, where filial piety towards families is the major name of the culture game.

I hope this could be considered a decent review, because I didn’t dive too much into the plot, as it really would take a huge amount of time to unwind it all, and I apologize that most of this review is just generalist meditation. But let me just say that if you have the stomach to watch a drama that depicts an Asian perspective on community interconnectivity and the trauma that those relationships bring -- then watch this show. Much of the ways in which the families HANDLED the drama in this drama reminded me of my childhood (without all the criminal and family violence, thank goodness). If you’re in an Ohm rabbithole, I’d say this is a must watch, because he was brilliant in an utterly wonderful script.