#But the FBI guy assumed he was manipulating him again

[hereforyourdispleasure]

AW STOP FRANK'S SO CUTE

[damnhotmsimmons]

Episode 9-Memento Mori

the Rossi centric episode, which I have less excitement for. Here are my thoughts

caution: spoilers below

“January 2022″. So there’s a flashback, but who is it about?

Oh shit? Is this Krystal’s funeral?

Emily comforting Rossi

Rossi not being there in Krystal’s final moments and Emily giving him a hug

Ironic how we get some genuine bonding moments and it’s in a flashback and after a funeral

....cut to the present and now in color, with Rossi looking at Elias’ family

Sydney asking Rossi what’s going on, if only she knew her husband is a serial killer

Rossi showing Sydney the cctv footage of Elias, only to get a call from him

Elias asking Sydney about Rossi in the security camera and her telling him that an FBI Agent is at their house

Elias remembering that name cause he read one of Rossi’s books. Him being a manipulative liar and convincing Sydney that Rossi is dangerous and is after her cause he “quit” his job, and the fact that they made Rossi look creepy in this scene doesn’t help

So Rossi tells Emily that Elias Voit is Sicarius despite lack of evidence and compliance from Sydney

Tbh, Ramona looks more like JJ than Sydney but okay

at least I know Tara and Garcia are also in this episode

so Rossi is at the Seattle Field Office

yay, so the team all appears in this episode, thank god

all of them going through Elias’ personal information and that he and Sydney are married for 15 years before his first kill

Emily and Tara visiting the AG and trying to convince her to reopen the Sicarius case after Rossi tries to convince them that Elias Voit is Sicarius

Oh shit, Elias seeing Rossi at the Seattle Field Office

“May 2022″ another flashback scene, and Tara is there...

oh look, Rebecca is there.....is this how they first met? Will she appear in the present day scenes?

Rebecca’s previous spouse was a drunk? 

aww, the first glances....if only episode 6 didn’t happen

Tara’s first Al-Anon and it’s how she and Rebecca first met

aww, they had a coffee date

.....and back to the present, with Emily presenting the case to the AG about Elias Voit possibly being Sicarius

Rebecca agreeing with Emily and Tara, I’m surprised she did that considering where she and Tara left off. Though I assume there’s the whole “I’m not doing this for you...” schtick after this 

The AG reluctantly gives the BAU the green light, but gives them 48 hours and they’re on a short leash, which isn’t good for the BAU

The team owes Rebecca big time, especially Tara

Rebecca turning down Tara’s coffee date....cause she got a job at the Sacramento office. Dammit writers, how dare you keep trying to break them apart

sadly, can’t blame her for wanting to take the job considering how the Silvio Herrera case affected her career at the DOJ

Tara feeling bad and saying “I miss you” hurts more than it should

“Goodbye Tara.”..........I just want to give Tara a hug, she’s alone again

Elias is so smart and well prepared to have confidence being at the field office and talking to Rossi

Elias telling Rossi that he read all of his books, is that his way of saying that he knows “everything” about him and what he does?

Elias turning the tables against Rossi, lying to him that he reads true crime and doesn’t live it. Being fully aware how he profiles people by monitoring his body language and expressions.

Elias denying that he knows who Cyrus is

Not Elias asking Rossi if he had lost his first wife and badge while pursuing “Mr. Acid Guy.” Possible foreshadowing based on the photos

Is it true Elias has friends in government jobs? Does that explain how he’s able to reach out to Benjamin and why he’s always a few steps ahead of the BAU?

Is he trying to get a rise out of Rossi by asking him if he went off the distance chasing an unsub?

Elias giving Rossi all his devices and letting him go through them, which which shows how he’s clearly prepared and erased anything that could potentially track him and buying himself an alibi that could fool others

Ramona won’t cooperate, and oh shit, not Garcia suggesting Tyler Green can cooperate. This is gonna go well.....

I was so repulsed by Tyler’s appearance that I didn’t even notice Will was in the elevator as him 😂

Thank god Will prevented a cringy Greencia moment, but why is he here and what does his presence mean?

Will volunteering to look at a cold case involving Green’s sister?

Why is Tyler lying that he doesn’t see the unsub? Did Elias do something to him? Is he working for Elias? Is he gonna take matters into his own hands cause he doesn’t trust that the BAU will stop him?

Luke being suspicious when Tyler says he didn’t see him, all cause Tyler said “sorry”

Garcia telling Tyler to look her in the eye and not lie, except he still lied to her

Not Tyler holding Garcia’s hand and telling her to call him. Is someone watching them?

Damn, I thought there was gonna be another flashback but I guess not

Sydney not taking anymore shit from Elias and demanding answers

Elias being a manipulative liar again

pretty scary how Sydney was able to buy into Elias’ lies like that

Garcia leaving a voicemail for Rossi, she knows Tyler is hiding something from her

Not Tyler tracking the voicemail and flying to Seattle

“May 2006″ Goddammit, I want a flashback of another BAU member not Tyler

Wait, is Tyler also at the grocery store where Sydney is

Sydney is me grocery shopping when prices are low during the pandemic. Her grabbing the wine is also a mood and something she really needs

Oh shit, not Rossi finding her

Rossi telling Sydney about her rough childhood

Not Rossi telling Sydney that her husband is a serial killer and him telling her to let him prove it to her goes exactly how it’s expected

Elias recording Rossi and tarnishing his image, the AG being angry at that and Rebecca suggesting that Rossi is pulled out of the field

Honestly, Rossi should have retired but this is sad

Emily having no choice but to say “yes ma’am”

Garcia trying to reach Tyler but no answer and Luke mocking her, I love it 

Finally, Luke knows something is wrong and he and Garcia having to talk

“...he is so marvelous in bed.” Bitch, Tyler is still a material witness

Luke being rightfully angry at Garcia is satisfying to watch 

JJ being common sense makes sense cause she would tell Emily what happened, Tara having her heart broken and Rossi

Luke being grossed out by Greecia sex is a mood

Luke did have a point saying how messy it’ll be seeing the kind of person Tyler is and all of Garcia’s previous love interests

Garcia is acting like she didn’t regret what she did, she should still be ashamed of herself

Rossi arriving outside Elias’ house and seeing Prentiss’ text, he doesn’t look like he has any regrets

Elias inviting Rossi to his house

Rossi breaks Elias by bringing up Cyrus

“devolution”, seems like Rossi and Garcia are devolving more than Elias has

Elias being able to overpower Rossi, goes exactly how it’s expected and ends with Rossi  being knocked out

“August 2012″ a flashback to Elias and his family

Oh shit, Tyler is watching Elias go into his car

The team learning that Rossi was last seen at Elias’ house

Oooo, Garcia accidentally revealing the voicemail in front of the rest of the team. Who’s the jerkface now?

Emily concealing her anger and disappointment from Garcia and having her go into the field with JJ and Luke

Elias saying he was up for a challenge

Tyler attempting to shoot Elias, yea this won’t end well for Tyler

How is he so careful though

Aww, Will’s first time on the jet

So Tyler is tracking Rossi’s phone

Garcia mocking herself for falling for guys like Tyler Green, hate to say that she brought this on herself

I liked Luke giving her a pat on the back though

The team deciding to track Tyler’s phone

“it’s over.” Is she talking about her career or her relationship with Tyler? Possibly both?

Elias taking Rossi to the first shipping container

Tyler found Elias and aiming his gun at Rossi, yea he’s a goner

....and he’s dead, not surprised

“February 2020″ Oh my god oh my god, the garvez date

....well this is disappointing

“right person.” Bitch, it’s each other wtf

They found Tyler’s dead body

aww Rebecca is holding Tara’s hand

oh shit, Elias livestreaming Rossi’s captivity to the BAU and threatening to kill Rossi if they don’t let him go

a callback to 16x05 where the Emily helplessly watches a fellow team member in danger and the camera goes to static

  Overall, I’d give this a 7/10. I’m surprised that this episode is not as bad as I’d thought it would be, seeing how the photos and synopsis made it seem like it’s 100% Rossi centric but I’m glad to see some more moments of the rest of the characters. That said, I do have some issues like the flashback scenes, like why cram them all in in one episode when you had all of the previous episodes to do so. The garvez date is also underwhelming and disappointing, though I haven’t completely given up on them as obviously Luke and Garcia need more time to work things out only for the pandemic to happen, plus Garcia’s commitment issues which is why she ends up with guys like Tyler when Luke is a much healthier option for her. Seeing Rebecca hold hands with Tara gives a little glimpse of hope for them. I hate seeing how pathetic and reckless Rossi is and I’ll be damned if he still decides to stick around in the BAU after this

[asthma-michael-myers]

I’m certainly not done talking about Du’Met (7/???)

There are heavy influences of other serial killers I see in Du’Met. (Not H.H.Holmes, because that guy never did what they say he did in the game. He didn’t even have a „Murder Castle. Did he kill people in his hotel? Yes, probably. But not to the extent that the game [and some other media] wants to make us believe.)

So, what real murderer could have been an inspiration for Du’Met/Hector Munday (for the sake of understandability I treat them as one single person)?

First and foremost I would say, Ed Kemper. Kemper had an abusive (alcohol – addicted) mother who blamed him for her problems, and let him live in the boiler room in the cellar because his appearance was „unbearable“ for her and his sisters additionally they felt unsave and sexually molested by Kemper.

It is assumed (a fandom theory) that Hector Munday was also insulted for his looks by his mother.

While Kempers violent fantasies intensified, he also developed an affinity for justice and police work. Kemper is known for his cooperativity with the police and helping to lay the foundation for criminal profiling (with the FBI-Agenten Ressler und Douglas). His knowledge about psychology was attained during his stay in the Atascadero State Hospital after he killed his grandparents, where he was allowed to help and listen to sessions with other criminals. Also he developed own psychological tests with the corresponding items. Later Kemper used his knowledge to manipulate his victims.

Munday was an FBI profiler. About why he chose that career path can only be speculated. Although he took another way than Kemper, Munday specialized in psychology; and seeing his success, he understood that subject well. So well he used it later to analyze his victims and use the information against them.

During the first murders, Kemper described that he wanted the girls to trust him, that it was not bearable for him that one girls knew that he had just killed her friend. At moments he was not even able to look at her face. All in all Kemper was, well, bashful. When he accidentally touched the breast of his (assumed) third victim, he apologized. Like he was not going to kill and rape her. Kemper reflected on that, that if he had met her earlier in his life, this all might have not happened. It is questionable how true that is since Kemper was convinced that no one could ever love him (,again. Once he was in a relationship but that was spoiled by his mother). So, he wanted complete control over the situation and his partner (also seen by other serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, Dean Corll, etc.).

This is more going into the fandom theories, that while Du’Met is dominant and determined while killing people, he is sexually quite inexperienced. But in almost every situation, he wants control over his partner (mostly based on other people's headcanons, personally I see it differently). However, he canoncally wants to control every situation during his hunting.

The last similarity I want to point out is, the murders Kemper did regarding his own family. As mentioned before, Kemper killed his grandparents. His grandmother had to die because she reminded him so much of his mother and he couldn’t handle all her nagging anymore (about shooting birds and such). The same day Kemper killed his grandfather, this time however it was out of mercy so his demented grandfather didn’t have to see his dead wife. Last but not least, Kemper finally killed his mother. 

Munday also killed his mother, in contrast to Kemper, not out of hate, but out of mercy (like Kemper did with his grandfather), so she wouldn’t have to suffer from the effects of cancer.

That’s it with Ed Kemper, On to the next. Ed Gein. This one is less about his murders, and more about his other crimes and relationship to his mother. Geins father was an alcohol addict who would beat up his wife and Geins mother only mocked her husband for that. It was her, who made the decisions in the family. Furthermore his mother saw sexuality as a sin and impure. 

There is not much told about Hectors father. Only that he left Lucinda when Hector was not born yet or very young. So it could be that Clarence also was an alcoholic, or Lucinda scared him off. Also it is just speculation what Lucinda thought about sexuality, but going along with headcanons, Du’Met seems timid regarding his own sexual needs.

Despite her behaviour of his mother towards Gein, he loved her idolatrously. Which may stem from his mothers indoctrination that every woman was a whore and not to be looked at or even noticed, so Geins desire and love were directed at his mother. The relationship only strengthened when Geins mother suffered a stroke after the death of Geins brother and she became dependent on his help. 

Mundays mother was also abusive. However, instead of leaving her, he visited her regularly and supervised her transfer to the senior home. Even there he came to visit her, more or less, regularly. Before that, she might have been dependent on Hectors help. After Lucinda was diagnosed with cancer, Munday did kill her (as mentioned above out of mercy, it was an act out of love). Furthermore, Munday mourned her death, so it even affected his work as a profiler.

As I said, this is less about Geins murders and more about his other crimes. Gein exhumed bodies (he confessed to 40) and built furniture and made clothes out of them. 

Du’Met exhumed the bodies of his mother and Sherman to build animatronics out of them. That reminds me more of Anatoly Yuryevich Moskvin and his corpse dolls.

[violetsystems]

#personal

I can start by saying I'm in the middle of a full blown malware infection on a hosting provider. It's so relentless that even after trashing everything, the senior admins are stalling so you pay for their services instead of removing it yourself. The insult to injury is that every folder out of 16,000 files still infected and hidden in the trash won't delete until you remove the .htacess from each one. I'm about three fourths of the way through but thankfully they are billable hours. The sad part of it was it feels like targeting again because it affects both my professional and client websites. Been having weird shit happen in front of my place too. Strange people trying to sell me salt the day before passover. Yesterday our neighborhood does an elaborate Good Friday procession. They blocked off the street. A person rolled by really slowly in a car staring at me so I looked back. They pulled the car back in front of my house as I was talking on the phone about the malware to a client. They rolled down the window and said "Do you have something to say to me?" I had the client on speaker so I tried my best to ask him what was wrong. I explained I thought they were lost and this was my home. I even told them that if they were lost the stations of the cross happened on the next block over. "You assume a lot of things about me." he said in an angry voice. It felt like it was going to get into a discussion about race which isn't the first conversation I've had like that behind my gate from the street. So I just walked away. And as my back turned to lock the gate he said "Yeah you go do that." Fucking infantile. When I came back out to check the mail he was parked down the street and gave me a goofy wave. Then on a routine trip past the FBI to go to the dispensary somebody had the nerve to film me from the highway median in front of the FBI with a tripod and what looked like a RED HD camera. There's clear signs over there that say there's no filming allowed since it's government property but that's not my problem. I assume this guy who I've seen before was trying to punk me into lecturing him on behalf of the FBI. But I just kept walking. Everybody at the dispensary was fairly friendly. And the FBI is just a building. So the things that stick out to me seem far more intentional. Including the ex sys admin from my old job stalking my Linkedin profile.

I think the intent of all of this is a provocation. They have all this graffiti up in parts of the neighborhood. These murals with the lofty saying "Provoke Culture." And I used to believe that that meant something. But really all anyone ever does is harass a person to knock them out of their financial position. Sometimes out of greed and other times out of manipulation. A class war is pretty evident these days. The mayor's race was more about turnout than it was about race, pardon the pun. I had some severe ideological problems with the candidate I voted for. But I trusted the democratic party to hold him to the party line. Now I don't really trust politics whatsoever in this city or country. So that's a good exit interview. But around here, people are actively trying to guerrilla develop our neighborhood and wrench control out of families and historical businesses. This is probably most related to their own property value which as it rises with new construction chokes less wealthy people out. I've rented here for twelve years. People forget who I am a lot because they don't really care to know me. So sometimes when I have a problem like yesterday at the gate, I'll just change my entire outfit and demeanor and nobody remembers who I am. This doesn't explain why the pretentious nepo babies of any race in this town seem to think they can turn my life into a movie without signing a contract or a waiver. But if you are going to do it in front of anyone I'd rather it be the FBI. You see after writing all this shit for years I've just come to the conclusion it's everyone else who is out of order. I haven't seen politicians do anything out here except wrestle. Things seem like you have a voice in them and I still believe it's a very sacred thing to vote here. But the election process from personal experience favors this weird sort of world building socialism that lurks into the scary German territory. And I'm also dealing with calling out a load of the same white supremes that I called out back in College at the local Denny's. Some of these assholes I used to even work with at the concentration camp turned clown college. Just recently caught that dude stalking my LinkedIn too poised to give me retirement and investment fund advice at exactly the wrong time. So that's why I may be a little reluctant to engage in social justice race theory with a strange man in a white truck who doesn't like me assuming I live here.

If one thing is for sure, I don't think anybody is safe right now or should risk too much of their own shelter in place. I know pretty well that if I stay out of it, this "test" about my constitutional rights in America will be more of a background check. But it doesn't really change the fact that this malicious behavior is meant for me to feel miserable. I would blame capitalism but it's worse than that. It's an advertising shame based surveillance state that hasn't been properly regulated by our government because there's nobody young enough to understand computers with a sort of ethical culture rather than a pigheaded nerd pride mentality. That's kind of why I've stuck to writing here. But I can't really continue to live my life locked in a fucking shed waiting for people to admit that they owe me a settlement check. So that's why I feel like things are about to take a long walk off a high cliff. And if I weren't prepared for it, I'd be more surprised. I just don't like being yelled at and confronted by people who have conned their way into social justice movement to make it their soapbox for their confidence issues. Just the same rappers turned actors and ball players. On the other hand, people like myself who people should know better before fucking with have to realize that these people are the weakest of the weak. They're looking to explode in the moment and harness the energy of bringing you pain. They want to be right in an argument that is controlled by rich white male insittutions and think tanks that act like we're at the table. None of us are. Even if we bang on it repeatedly, they will pretend you don't exist. It's that fucking feeling right there. That you pretend I don't have a point. That you pretend I'll go away. That you'll pretend I'll mismanage my money worse than you. That you'll just assume the victim gave up. I'm not really a victim. I can't say it doesn't bother me physically. But I get better at knowing when to walk away from defending myself or even taking part in an argument. But it is getting bad. And I am stuck in place in a very real hurtful way. And I still have to spend about eight hours pointing and clicking the same hidden file until the trash has manually been removed. Sounds like a metaphor? A poor performance piece. A cult more likely. And at least we all know how hard it is to detach from the cult of America that bought out the political dialogue. There still are these things as an individual called constitutional rights that the FBI protects. I'm an individual. Not a mob. Not a gang. Not a terrorist. Not a spy or a cybercriminal. No matter how much you want to stereotype me. And so I'm at peace with my side of the bargain. I don't really need to prove anything other than what you allowed to film me in front of the FBI on a tripod. You wish you could see what's on my phone. In the eyes of God, I feel pretty confident that these people have no point other than to need me to stay relevant. So that's why I'm trying to choke them out by cutting everything off and focusing on what matters. <3 Tim

[forthegothicheroine]

How other great detectives would solve the Chesapeake Ripper murders

A series I do sometimes.  For the purpose of this post, I will be assuming Hannibal does not have protagonist protection.  I will also do my best not to assume that any of these detectives have protagonist armor, either.

Columbo: Columbo is immediately suspicious when Hannibal says that he “transferred his passion for anatomy into the culinary arts.”  When Hannibal talks about his hobby of collecting news clippings about church collapses, Columbo knows for sure that only a serial killer would do that.  He keeps needling at Hannibal, being incessantly polite, asking a series of innocuous questions, mentioning that his wife has been urging him to go to therapy and can Hannibal tell him anything about that process?  Hannibal can tell he’s smarter than he seems, but doesn’t realize just how smart.  He’s also smart enough to finally come to arrest Hannibal with a full squad of burly guys with guns.  Columbo is also very sweet to Abigail and they write letters to each other after the case is over.

Phryne Fisher:  Phryne has an absolutely marvelous time investigating this case.  Hannibal takes her on dates to the opera and fine wine tastings and they have amazing sex.  She also almost has sex with Will Graham, but when he collapses on a chair and beings talking about all the troubles he’s been going through, including encephalitis symptoms, she ends up driving him to the hospital instead.  Between Will’s testimony about how Hannibal has been misleading him about his symptoms and her own secret swiping of keys, she becomes suspicious and investigates the murder house.  When Hannibal catches her, he promises that her death display will be the most beautiful one yet.  She shoots him non-fatally and he gets arrested.  (She may also be arrested for breaking and entering, but Hannibal can’t exactly claim stand-your-ground when he has a basement freezer full of body parts.)  Phryne also possibly sleeps with Alanna.

Sam Spade: I’ll be real here, Sam Spade is probably going to die.  His primary method is deliberately antagonizing people into giving him money, and Hannibal would absolutely put him in his ‘rude people’ recipe cards.  If Spade was clever, he left a dead man’s switch with Effie, and she goes to the police with the evidence folder when Spade’s body is found posed like a statue of a bird.

Sam Vimes: The moment Sam meets Hannibal he mentally classifies him as a vampire, even though he is not technically a vampire.  Hannibal keeps ‘forgetting’ and offering Sam food and drink with alcohol, talking about how harm reduction is much more viable than complete abstinence and generally trying to manipulate him into falling back down the addiction hole.  Sam gets brittle and suspicious in response.  Hannibal drugs him and tries to hypnotize him into believing he saw another character do the murders, but the Inner Watchman in Sam’s head comes to the rescue again and he slams Hannibal over the head with the nearest heavy art object.  Sybil still afterwards insists that Sam go to therapy to deal with his rage.

L: L wastes time going on dates with Hannibal and trying to trick him into implicating himself despite already having plenty of evidence, and Hannibal kills him and puts his head in a candy store.

Poirot: When Poirot attends dinner at one of Hannibal’s parties, he knows as soon as the meat touches his palette that it isn’t really rabbit.  He does his best to hide the fact that he isn’t eating, and whispers to Hastings to do the same.  When he finally has caught Hannibal in enough lies, he accuses him of murder while in a room with him, Will, Alanna, Abigail, Chilton, Able and Jack.  With so many witnesses, Hannibal maintains his cool and says that he’ll call his lawyer and see everyone in court.  When they actually investigate his house and find the human body freezer, Poirot faints.

Philip Marlowe: Every time Marlowe tries to bother Hannibal, the local cops drag him into the station and berate him for hassling a rich person.  He has long conversations with Hannibal when he does get him alone about great literature and the morality of Shakespeare characters.  Hannibal drugs him and tries to convince him he witnessed somebody else commit the murders, but Marlowe is so used to being drugged and seeing ridiculous things that he doesn’t trust any drug trip memories.  He is eventually able to catch Hannibal in the process of cleaning up after a murder, and both shoot each other.  Both survive and Hannibal gets arrested, but Hannibal taunts Marlowe that he will go the rest of his life never meeting anyone who understands him as well as he did.  Marlowe sadly agrees.

Dale Cooper: If Cooper does solve this case, it will take at least a season and a half.  It will be based less on evidence and more on Hannibal having dark energy and his name coming up when Cooper picks it out of a bag of ice cubes with initials carved onto them.  Abigail finally breaks down and confesses everything that’s happened to Cooper, and he tells her she’s not an evil person.  He and Hannibal shoot each other; both survive.  Hannibal goes to jail but continues to influence other people to commit murders from within jail.  Cooper ends up in a coma, and when he wakes up, he reports visions of a feathered stag telling him that he should look for new hair gel.

Kinsey Milhone: Kinsey inherently distrusts smug rich people, and no rich person is smugger than Hannibal.  She spends a lot of time talking to Abigail about their mutual family issues and becomes suspicious of how much her answers seem to have been worded ahead of time by Hannibal.  She tracks him and manages to find him while he’s in the process of cutting someone up.  They attack each other, and it’s pretty much a coin flip as to who survives.  If it’s Kinsey, the resulting story is called C is for Cannibal.

Miss Marple: Miss Marple thinks Hannibal dresses in such a lovely fashion, and he’s so sweet to invite her over for a glass of sherry.  She doesn’t attempt to look around his house or catch him in the act of murder or do anything dangerous, she just compares notes about what’s being said by him, Will and Abigail, and unravels a web of lies to find some definite conclusions.  Jack Crawford and the entire FBI are humiliated that a nosy old lady sitting in her living room figured everything out before they did.

[ameliagiovanna0]

Thoughts on Chicago PD 9x08

TW: mentions of self-harm

This is going to be so chaotic

The woman at the front desk asked for Voight’s ID and he just shoved his badge at her. Then, she’s like, “Your fucking ID, please,” and I love it. At this point I think I just love anyone annoying or causing an inconvenience for Voight

As soon as Voight walked into North’s office and he pulled the “this is totally routine, I don’t know much about the case,” I knew we were going to get some kind “sUrPrIsE bItChEs, we have Roy’s body.”

Jay and Hailey still working flawlessly at the scene

Jay going off on Voight again. Then when Voight said, “If we stick together,” and Jay just noped out. Definitely gave me the serotonin boost I needed

Not gonna lie, when North showed up at the district, Voight’s eagerness was just creepy.

It was not lost on my that Jay and Hailey ran through a wedding venue after Santiago. What is it with Jay and Hailey and rooftops?

Trudy is somewhat omniscient in the show, but does she know what really happened? If not, will she find out? Is she going to help take Voight down? How will it affect her relationship with Voight after learning what he did and how he manipulates and abuses his team, assuming she already knows that Voight has killed people and gotten people killed aka Al and the guy that killed Justin and the thing with Erin?

When Voight turned around next to Hailey’s car, I seriously expected it to be North behind him.

"We're going to wait for the FBI to stop caring you put a guy in the ground?" THAT'S RIGHT! VOIGHT DID IT, NOT HAILEY. Jay was SEETHING

I really don't think Jay pushing Hailey into the bathroom was meant to be adorable or sexy, but here we are. Jay put his hands on her shoulders, and she put her hand on his arm and just followed him, no questions asked. The way her hair bounced when she was walking backwards was adorable and I don't even know why.

“I wanna start my marriage with the woman I love out of prison.” I think we all knew they would still end up getting married, but it still tickles my soul to hear.

"We're supposed to be together forever, but if you feel what I've done is so terrible there's no coming back, forever feels like a real long time." Hailey, sweetie, you didn't do anything. Voight put you there.

They’re talking about forever. Imma go cry

North bringing up Hailey’s dad…

When Hailey was in the elevator at the FBI, you see how short Tracy is. It’s adorable. She’s got so much badass in such a small person. How tall is she actually?

We start to see the Hailey we knew before Roy come back when North was questioning her. “I’m a great cop… and you’re wasting my goddamn time.”

THEN

The way Jay looked at Hailey when she was explaining what didn't feel right about the case. Please excuse whilst I fawn over this. So much love and adoration. He saw his Hailey coming back

Aside from the interpersonal workings of the team, the case was something I would have expected from SVU. The younger sister killing the dad just because and telling her older sister that she’d kill her too if she didn’t play along. Then, manipulating her even further into confessing, not eating, and self-harming.

"She claims she's been cutting, but I've known plenty of cutters. I know what hesitation cuts look like. They're shallow, clustered together... No, these are knife wounds” This struck a nerve for me. It didn’t make my angry, just poked at something, if that makes sense. I used to struggle with self-harm, and Hailey’s right. Those weren’t from self-harm. Same thing when Darlene said, “I’m so tired.” She had been trying to keep peace in the house for so long and was endlessly manipulated. Not to this extent, but I know something about that too. I really felt for Darlene. At some point, you just end up exhausted and you break

Candace’s freakish smirk at Hailey made my skin crawl.

Can you come home to me now, please?” “That’s all I want” I FUCKING CAN’T

 

The last scene was a lot (I say that like the rest of the episode was all puppies and rainbows)

“Damn good police work, which is either tragic or ironic. I’m not sure which.” Neither do we North, neither do we.

“It’s not a weakness. It’s decency. It’s possible, Jay, that you’re too good for this world we operate in.” I can’t help but think of what Hailey said to Jay in 8x16.

PD is always so intentional with their writing

“You truly love Hailey Upton, don't you?” I really don’t think any of us could grasp how much he loves Hailey.

I WAS RIGHT. If they know Hailey was involved, they knew Voight was involved.

We all know Jay is going to pick taking Voight down, but what's the catch? Is the FBI really going to let two cops who technically covered up a murder just walk? Do they really want Voight bad enough to let Jay and Hailey walk for their cooperation?

How is Hailey going to find out about Jay's decision? Does he rush straight home to tell her or does the FBI keep him for whatever reason so by the time he does get home to Hailey, she's freaked out that he's finally left her or Voight got to him or something?

I really hope 9x09 doesn't end up being Hailey not being able to get ahold of Jay after he said all he wanted was to come home to her, Jay talking things out with the FBI and Hailey not knowing what's going on, then Jay finally catching up to Hailey and it looks like he's about to explain everything before something blows up behind them and then it just cuts to black

It looks like Tracy, Jesse, and Jason are all in BTS pics up to at least until 9x11, so no one's getting fired. I'm SUPER curious to see how the whole thing plays out with Voight. Clearly the show is going to make it happen somehow, but how is he supposed to be "redeemed" after this?

I assume that Voight is going to know that Jay and Hailey were trying to bring him down? I highly doubt he'll be like, "Yeah, that's fair," and move on. Wtf is he going to do? How are they supposed to keep working together?

[bookishofalder]

Joke of a Batman

Spencer Reid x Male!Reader

Request: @meowiemari Okie dokie!!! So Spencer x male reader where the reader is the driver for the robbers. They arrested him after finding him in a gas station getting snacks. While driving in his car with Morgan, Reid, and Hotch, the reader is in the passenger seat telling them the location because he was just there for the money. Hotch and Morgan went while Spencer stays to keep an eye on him. Reader’s playlist in his car plays old Justin Bieber songs and it’s gonna be me by NSYNC. Spencer sees his embarrassment and  awkwardly sings a bit so he doesn’t feel shame. Later in absolute a few minuets the two started singing and as soon as Morgan comes back with Hotch, they both quickly turn off the playlist and exchange numbers. :)

Warnings: Swearing, implied SMUT (super brief)

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I loved writing this, and hope I you enjoy. This was my first time writing the reader as male-so please tell me if I can improve! Tried to keep reader description as vague as possible. Thank you to @mermaidxatxheart​ for encouraging me to get writing :) 

“That’ll be $11.75, please.” The bored gas station attendant droned, staring at you expectantly. You began to pull out a few bills from your wallet, ready to get home and eat your pint of ice cream in peace, but before you could count out what you needed, a voice behind you cut in.

“He’s no longer going to be making a purchase today, actually,” Spinning around in alarm, you find yourself face to face with two imposing men, one with a deep frown and overall authoritative air with his crisp suit, the other a handsome but tall and physically intimidating specimen.

With a gulp, you stuff the cash in your wallet. Who were these guys?

“Y/F/N?”

You nod as heat creeps up your neck, burning your face. Fucking Peter Robbins, you always knew, was going to be the death of you. And now it looked like your latest foray into his questionable life was going to land you in jail. These had to be cops.

You knew you should have ignored his call. You’d been telling yourself for years not to help him, he was just going to get himself in trouble again and call again, and you got nothing out of it. He used you because he knew you liked him. The two of you had been friends for years, and it didn’t take him long to realize the ways he could manipulate you because of how you felt.

It took you a lot longer to catch on to what he was doing.

But fuck, you still came running when he called, didn’t you? Like you were some joke of a Batman and he was shining his light into the sky calling for you. If only.

“That’s, yeah, that’s me.” You replied, slowly shoving your wallet into your front pocket before holding your hands in front of you in surrender. Whatever happened, you decide at this moment that you never want to see Peter again. Because giving that man a ride in hopes he’d one day say he was interested was not worth this.

“Mr. (Y/L/N), we’re placing you under arrest,” The frowning man held out his badge, showing you he was one Agent Hotchner from the fucking FBI. You tuned him out, your ears suddenly ringing, alarm shooting through you. Getting arrested was one thing, but the FBI? What in the living hell had Peter gotten into? Got you into?

He called you for a ride. It was just supposed to be a ride.

You were surprised when they didn’t cuff you, but you weren’t stupid enough to question them. They led you outside, where the gas station was quiet, only their large black SUV and your Honda Civic parked out front. You kept your eyes down, a sting threatening the corners but you were not going to cry. You needed to take this one step at a time, and not overreact. You surely didn’t fuck up that badly, did you? They’d said ‘suspicion of aiding a crime’, only suspicion.

“Listen, kid,” The bald Agent whose name you learned was Morgan turned and faced you, his expression serious. You bristled slightly at him calling you ‘kid’, but based on the crows' feet around his eyes, maybe he was older than he let on. “We know that you were just the driver today, and that you’d probably have no clue what’s going on right now.”

You raised your eyes to meet his, “Peter Robbins has ensured I fuck up my life at least once a year for nearly a decade. This is just...a new level for me.” You shrug, trying not to think of what your family was going to say when they found out. Would you lose your job?

“We’ve been watching Peter and his associates for a while now,” Agent Hotchner replied, and your brows raised in surprise. “Yes, he’s escalated from petty crimes that upset the local sheriff to armed robbery. Unfortunately, one of his partners happens to enjoy killing. Which is why we were called in.” He stops speaking abruptly when another Agent, you assume from the gun on his belt, steps around the SUV and up to your group.

For a moment, you’re caught off guard. This Agent is stunningly handsome, much younger than the other two. His eyes, which met yours for only a moment before flitting away, were a soft honey brown that sucked you right in. He had a bit of a shadow along his jaw, his wavy brown hair unkempt in the best kind of way, as though he’d just rolled out of bed looking that perfect. And you could tell he didn’t even realize the power he had. Standing next to two burly, thick muscled Agents, you could understand why. But in your brief assessment of this new man, you could see the lean strength of him, the muscles of his lower arms, veins in his hands. He was tall, too, taller than either of the other men, which was saying something.

“What’s up, Reid?” Morgan asked, and the new arrival-Reid-held up his phone.

“Garcia can’t pull anything from the Honda, it’s, her words, an ancient species.” He spoke quickly, almost as though the words couldn’t find their way off of his tongue quickly enough. You tried not to fixate on his mouth, because damn it, his lips were perfect.

Absentmindedly, you crossed your arms across your chest, feeling tense and tired. When Reid’s eyes followed the movement, you felt frozen under his gaze, watching with your breath held as it dragged slowly up to your face. His expression was unreadable, yet you still felt your cheeks grow warmer.

“Listen, (Y/N), we know you don’t have any real part in Peter’s crimes. We intercepted his calls and texts, we know he asked you to pick him up today, last minute.” Agent Hotchner said, his eyes burning into yours.

You looked away from the other men, shame flooding through you. “Peter always calls, and I always answer. But I really don’t know anything about what he does, I didn't know he was even with anyone else today. He asked me to pick him up right out front of the pharmacy, that’s all.” You couldn’t help the edge to your voice, the wordless plea that they understand you had no clue what was going on. And if innocent people were dying, you would do anything you could to help them put a stop to it.

Reid tilted his head slightly as he watched you, “We’ve seen the messages, (Y/N), we know how he treats you, giving you a little, yet taking a lot,” The tears almost threaten now, so you glance away, looking at the ground as you nod, “And he doesn’t even tell you what he’s taking, the danger he’s putting you in. He’s going to go away for a long time, but you don’t have to.”

At this, your head snaps up and you look between the three men, expecting them to laugh and finally cuff you. But they all wear the same neutral expression, all watching you.

“Like I said, I don’t know much abou-“

Reid shook his head, politely interjecting, “We understand. But you know where you took him today, right?” At your nod, Reid stepped a little closer, peering down at you, “We need you to take us to him. And tell us any other addresses you can remember picking him up from or taking him to in the last year. Can you help us? You won’t be under arrest if you can give us what we need to stop Peter and the men he’s working with.”

You almost wanted to laugh. Of course, you would help, regardless of whether you were still under arrest; you had no loyalty whatsoever to Peter. You only ever showed up for him because you hoped, each time, that it would be the time he would go beyond flirting. That the feelings were mutual. But if he was committing crimes-fuck, robbing people, working with a murderer, then you were done with him.

“I can tell you addresses, and I can show where he is now, I just,” You paused, closing your eyes briefly to pull in a breath, steadying yourself, “Please, don’t hurt him, if you don’t need to, I mean.”

Reid’s eyes, which you found the moment you opened yours, visibly softened at your words. He seemed a little surprised, you thought, though it was hard to tell. He was difficult to read, and you’d only just met him. He nodded reassuringly before looking to Agent Hotchner expectantly while you waited, your insides in knots.

“(Y/N), Spencer is going to go with you in your vehicle, and we’ll be following behind. Take us as close as you can without being obvious. Reid,” He turned to the handsome agent, “We’re going to check the car first, can you-“ He gestured wordlessly in your direction, which made you frown in confusion.

Reid nodded, and you watched as the two other agents moved to search your car, while he moved toward you. “I’m going to search you for weapons, okay?” He explained, holding his hands out as if waiting for your permission.

You stared, perhaps a beat too long, at his long-fingered hands. With a shy bob of your head, you looked to Reid, “Of course, I understand.” And the agent began to pat you down as you stood awkwardly.

It wasn’t as though the action was intimate or affectionate, but for whatever reason, you did feel his touch was hesitant. He was gentle, considerate...it surprised you. And then his hands slid up your back as he stood in front of you, and you became acutely aware of the thin cotton t-shirt your wore, instantly becoming self-conscious. You wondered what he thought of you, of your body.

Mind out of the gutter, you told yourself.

It was then, when Reid leaned back, his hands sliding from your back to your chest, that time seemed to stand still, just for a moment. They moved across your stomach briefly, and as they began to pull away, the search complete, you looked up. Reid was staring at you, his cheeks flushed, eyes heavy. You caught your breath, his gaze was so intense, but before you could even try to think of what to say, he was swiftly stepping back, breaking eye contact with a heavy swallow.

You were kind of relieved. That had been almost too intense, whatever that was. The relief lasted only moments until Agent Hotchner called out that your car was good to go, and you remembered you had a twenty-minute car ride alone with the Reid.

Fuck.

+

The first few minutes of the drive are bearable enough, Spencer takes the wheel as you give him directions to the subdivision where you had dropped Peter off. It’s when the silence starts to press in, and you don’t know what to say to fill it, that things swiftly change.

Sensing the tension, no doubt, Reid reaches out to the audio power button and hits your stereo on. With an internal groan, you suddenly wish you could just jump out of the moving vehicle when the song you’d been listening to picks back up.

'Cause I've had everything But no one's listening And that's just fucking lonely I'm so lonely Lonely

You had put on a playlist you considered your ‘sad songs’ compilation for whenever you were let down by Peter or any other man. You enjoyed wallowing in self-pity for just a little while after each encounter. But now, as Justin Bieber crooned sadly, you didn't feel sad, just humiliated. You were in your car with a fiercely hot FBI agent who had given you some kind of fucking bedroom eyes just minutes ago as he pats you down, and this song plays.

Your expression must have been obvious, as you saw Reid look at you a few times out of the corner of your eye, frowning somewhat. When the song ended, you didn’t get a chance to be relieved before ‘Somebody to Love” began playing. This time, you sighed aloud, sinking somewhat into your seat and wishing you could dissolve into a pile of goo like the Wicked Witch.

Until that is, you glanced up and saw Reid’s fingers tapping gently on the steering wheel to the beat. Surprised, you looked around to the agent and he was mouthing the words, singing along with the chorus. Stunned, you just watched him for a moment, quickly finding yourself enraptured by the way his plump lips moved around the words, how his tongue would wet them between lines, how his eyes-

Fuck, he was looking right at you. You smiled quickly but looked away, your hands fidgeting in your lap. You really had much bigger, more important shit to be concerned with right now, yet here you were wondering what the hell this perfect man, this FBI agent that was far too handsome for his own good, was doing singing along with the silly song, and why the look he gave you had butterflies erupting in your stomach.

Not to mention, the guilt that accompanied those thoughts, brief as they were, of what the lips would feel like on yours. What they would feel like on your body. Wrapped around your cock. Fuck.

He hadn’t said anything, but his fingers continued to tap along with the beat with ease. Eventually, when you directed him to the final turn, you chanced another glance at him. As if expecting your gaze, he turned his head and smiled at you, “I’m Spencer, by the way, Dr. Spencer Reid.” You blinked. Doctor?

“Oh, uh. Wow. Nice to meet you, Dr-“

“You can call me Spencer,” He cut in, his expression somewhat amused.

You nodded, “Nice to meet you, Spencer. Though I wish it were under different circumstances, perhaps where I wasn’t a criminal piece of shit.”

He pulled the car over, stopped at the community mailbox you had described as the perfect place to park. Once he’d turned the engine off, he turned to face you, those warm eyes giving you a gentle look. “You aren’t a criminal piece of shit, (Y/N),” Oh, you loved the way your name sounded coming from him. “I’d go as far as to say you’re a victim in all of this.”

You scoffed, waving a hand in protest, “No, I really should have known better than to help Peter.”

But Spencer shook his head, “As I said earlier, we saw the messages. He manipulates you, and he doesn’t ever tell you what he’s actually doing. He just gets you to give him rides, acts like it’s a way to hang out when really he’s using you as a cover because, in reality, you’re a law-abiding, hardworking, kind man. Men like him don’t deserve to breathe the same air as you, (Y/N).”

Letting out a breath, your mind went blank at Spencer’s words, failing you entirely. You believed every word he’d said, and you felt warm all over at the intense way he watched you, it was almost...protective.

Before your mind could reboot and you could trust yourself to open your mouth and not simply drool, a tap on the window drew your eyes beyond Spencer. Agent Hotchner stood there, waiting patiently with his arms crossed.

Spencer climbed out of your car, but you stayed put, glad for a moment to close your eyes and try to steady your beating heart. After this was over, you were climbing into your bathtub and staying there for the rest of the week. Maybe the rest of the month.

“Prentiss and JJ are parked at the North end, they’re going to come with us. Can you wait here, with (Y/N), and call Garcia and have him give her the other locations?”

You heard Spencer agree and bid his fellow agents goodbye before climbing back into your car. He smiled warmly at you, and you couldn’t help but return it, your own shy and uncertain. “You heard what our task is?” He asked you, his head tilted again, watching you curiously.

“Yes.”

“Okay, good. But first, can you give me your phone, please?” He held his hand out expectantly. You handed it over, first pointing it towards your face to unlock it. His fingers brushed yours when he took the phone from you, and if you hadn’t been looking at him already, you wouldn’t have believed it was intentional. But it was because at the slight contact, your eyes had widened and Spencer...Spencer had smirked.

He clicked around on your phone for a moment, hit one final button and then passed it back to you, looking satisfied. When you took it back, his phone chimed in his pocket. Confused, you peered down at your screen to see he’d added his name to your contacts and sent himself a text from your phone. Well fuck.

He was watching you with an amused expression, “Once this case is over, (Y/N), I’d love it if you would allow me to take you to dinner.”

“I, wow,” You stammered, nervously running your hair through your hair. His eyes followed your movement, and you saw a glint behind the warmth, of desire. Hunger. You didn’t think twice. “I’d love to, Spencer.” He grinned at you.

And surprising even yourself, you reached out and squeezed his hand. And when he returned the pressure and ran his thumb softly across the back of your hand, all thoughts of Peter left your mind as *NSYNC played in the background and you didn’t feel lonely anymore.

Did you enjoy this story? Please consider reblogging or commenting to ease my inner turmoil as a writer. Likes are basically just a bookmark!

✨Taglist: @mermaidxatxheart @paintballkid711 @snitchthewitch

[pseudophan]

catch me crying at hannibal season 2 finale. everythings suddenly made clear and its so fuckin heartbreaking

ok hannibal 2x13 spoilers here so if you’re one of the people currently watching and dont wanna be spoiled don’t click the read more cause i HAVE to rant about that goddamn fucking episode

first of all. hannibal smelling freddie on will and realising he’s been manipulating him this whole time is genuinely the most upsetting shit ive ever seen in my life. he really truly believed will was gonna run away with him, to quote mads he was “blinded by love” and his face when all of that falls apart is so. he barely reacts and yet he conveys SO much. and i HAAATEEEE ITTTT. and then will calling hannibal to warn him, deciding last minute that he can’t set him up but its too late and hannibal is so hurt and of course he’s not just gonna leave without being a dramatic bitch about it and then the fight scene with him and jack is obviously SO fucking good but then... jesus fucking christ. listen. listen. when i say That Scene in mizumono is my favourite scene of anything ever i mean it wholeheartedly, yet its also the worst thing ive ever seen in my entire life. ok so im assuming if you’re reading this you’ve either seen the show or you don’t care about spoilers so im just gonna put the video here so people can watch it and and relive the pain

THIS SHIT.....IS SO....... i sincerely do not know who i feel the most sorry for. ok well sorry for is obviously abigail cause its hard to pity those other two fucks but hell if i dont feel bad as fuck for them both.

their entire relationship is based on a mutual fascination by and understanding of each other. it starts out with hannibal immediately being intrigued by will because to him will graham is essentially the greatest christmas present in the world. the psychiatrist part of him sees the way his mind works and naturally wants to study it further, meanwhile the Dark And Twisted Cycle Path side of him sees...well the same thing really but with an added element of hm. this man’s entire Deal is empathising with serial killers and holy shit wait im one of those oh this is gonna be so fun. oh wait he....he truly understands these killers....haha would he be able to- lol no he wont be able to understand me surely- and then at the end of the first episode he sees will emptying his gun into garrett jacob hobbs and he sees the look on his face and oh there’s so much potential. and naturally he starts being a real dick about it all and completely betrays will’s trust in every way imaginable and will is so so hurt by it and so naturally by the time he betrays hannibal part of you as the viewer is like well yeah, obviously, of course that’s what he’s doing. fair is fair. but then at the same time...

and will has those same doubts, and he’s realising that for all the hurt hannibal has caused him he’s also helped will understand himself a whole lot better, and while he doesn’t have the complete lack of conscience hannibal does he’s not exactly adversed to killing either, if it’s the right person. and maybe... maybe running away with hannibal wouldn’t be so bad... yeah maybe he should just- but then he remembers abigail. and he can’t get over that just yet. i truly believe if hannibal hadn’t “killed” abigail will would have given in sooner. but even then, he ends up warning hannibal that he’s given him up and that the fbi are coming and he goes to his house and oh my god there’s abigail. and im just imagining... the range of emotions he felt... when he saw her.... betrayal and hurt again sure because hannibal lied to him once more, but also holy fuck there goes most of his apprehension for running away with him and oh my god what has he done. and then he turns to see hannibal and THEEE HURRRRTTTTT IN HIS FACEEE. 

and then he stabs him and off he goes on his fucking speech and i think part of why it’s so effective is that up until then we only ever see slight glimpses of genuine emotion of any sort from hannibal and all of a sudden we get everything all at once and god it’s so much. for the first time in his life someone had the ability and want to truly understand him, something he’d long since given up on if he ever as much as tried (same goes for will, though he doesn’t have the added bonus of an extremely illegal hobby) and even more than that there is someone HE is that interested in? literally the only other person hannibal has genuinely loved up until that point was his sister and even then he was so young and suddenly here’s this guy who ticks just all the right boxes and for a second, just for a second, hannibal allowed himself to be seen and to believe he may have found genuine connection. and he had, technically, it just happened to be more brief than he would like

also hey, here to make it so much fucking worse: mads mikkelsen!

hey fuck you dude! what the fuck 😃

also this that tumblr user linpatootie wrote in their recap of the 2015 red dragon con

the idea of hannibal feeling Extra Betrayed because he realised will didn't even realise he loved him makes me want to FUCKING DIE

ok i gotta stop this none of this made any points forget i said anything i hate hannibal

[gaytransbimbo]

yo I'm in detective mode rewatching the whole show and this is gonna be long I apologize I apologize BUT in my defense, I'm obsessed with this so yeah

the mustache guy Gretchen drinks cocktails with is used for the Pilot ID in ep. 2 photo and name. I don't know if this is any used but I felt good to find out so take it as useless info.

the bunker and HQ have been architecturally designed with many similarities - a lot of concrete, narrow vertical openings for sunlight, smooth floor textures, even the wood surfaces in some walls are very similar used - so I'm gonna go ahead and assume they are located in the same building or very close together. we also see the bunker entrance in ep. 1 (the woman giving Alex the Pilot's bag) and ep. 7 (the girls been taken off the plane) so the Bunker is very close to the island (a very small trip with the boat I'm gonna say I have a theory here about them drugging everyone (cause its easy) and operating on Rachel's hand real quick and dropping her back on the island.. no idea moving on)

1/3

this gonna be long I apologize again

timeline: in ep.6 gretchen gets checked into this hospital and says to Agent Daniel Whatever "in two months time". so this is the day of the mussels thus we're talking around Day 12 or 13 I'm not sure. In ep.9 they are starving (Day 22) and they find the goat next (Day 23) when Leah asks Nora what is the date and she says JUNE 29th. Checking notes and math and shit, the mussels and the day Gretch finds Agent Daniel Whatever is MAYBE JUNE 18th. according to that "in two months time" when he is going to be needed in the bunker, we are talking about a rescue happening on the early days of August, which gives us one final month for the rest of the project to be finished in the Bunker. In ep9 we have January 10th written down on a box BUT the day before Shelby had asked for Leah and so we know we ain't near the end of the Bunker project phase, but quite at the beginning still. So we can assume that the "two months" in the island might have been flexed a looot longer than that? We know crazy shit happened - shelby's interview - so we can assume again they could have been left on the island until early motherfucking January because hoLY FUCK THAT'S A LOT OF TIME (but it could explain the fact that Rachels hand is like insanely healed and this timeline could be easily covered by the four seasons they are planning on going but I don't know man.. my mind is fucking blown even thinking about this)

But then again - no. Because Gretch is like talking with the parents at the same time she tells Leah's parents "end of the summer" slash 'the end of the 3month project'. (but that's before the crazy shit that happened after the shark attack so no idea). HOWEVER she IS digging up dirt on the girls to use but, man, i don't know this thought ends here.

2/3

I think Martha and Nora are fine. Nora is "arrested" (?) as they are going with the fake investigation line and I think she does come clean to the rest of the girls about her role after the shark. And I'm gonna go with the theory of Martha being very very hurt or something, even if Toni is like very calm I don't know. Shelby and Toni are fine come on, guys, Shelby was like ready to fucking tear them apart when Agent Young said her name like WOW, the girl protective as shit.And also like rewatching the interviews, every girl seems to like pause for a second every time one of the Agents tries to push. Rachel after the whole "but that didn't materialize". Fatin after they look at her weird when she said she believed Leah. Shelby's whole thing (amazing acting I am in love with Mia like aihxsidhe0udgpiw) after the "according to some Intel we've gathered". And Leah like... man, Jeff ??? she was over this guy. I think the girl is like putting up some insanely good manipulation thing knowing that they know of the paranoid tendencies and shit. I don't know. 3/3 lol sorry about this mess I need to let out my thoughts on someone and you were the victim of it. you can dismiss them if you feel like it, I apologize for murdering your inbox

you don’t understand how excited i got about this ask lmao. thank u. okay so lets see...

yeah the bunker and the HQ are probably the same building, it would make everything easier for gretchen. it has to be close to the island since they can get there by boat but they also have access to the real world/hospitals/the donors ect. So I don’t think they are near Peru one bit but where are they???

them being on the island for 6 months makes sense with rachel’s hand but also WTF GRETCHEN?? and were their parents okay with that?? idek bro idk what to believe the timeline is so messed up. They were definitely there for an extra month after the shark but idk January seems like a stretch. Also the timeline of the interviews is interesting in itself too. How many days has it been until Leah’s escape? were the interviews in chronological order or are they mixed up?

Nora pretending to be arrested makes a lot of sense?? cause the whole “it’s up to you now” rachel said indicates that Nora’s fate is up to the “FBI agents”. I also don’t think Martha is dead. i love Mia’s acting and omg i can’t wait for a goodfoe reunion in the bunkers. And yeah! Leah talking about jeff so openly weirded me out but then we learn she gets over him on the island too so it makes less sense....unless she is trying to confuse them????

[yourmidnightlover]

ssa hotchner: chapter 2 - one week

TW: threats, language, talking abt abuse/what happened to y/n the night before, mild drinking

WC: 5,116

series masterlist

---------------------------------------------

you woke up to the bright sun peeking in through your window past the hills, shining brightly into your eyes. you sat up, and rubbed your eyes in attempt to wake yourself up even more. you looked over at your clock to see the tie was already half past 6 a.m.

you didn't have to go to work for the first time in what felt like forever. trudging out of bed, you made your way into your bathroom and started the hot water.

the cut on your face looks exponentially better than it did last night. the handprint's swelling on your face had gone down quite a bit, but the bruise on your arm was definitely still there.

you brushed your teeth while you waited on the water to warm up. once the shower was ready, you shed your clothes and hopped inside. you took your time, letting the events of last night try to sink into your mind.

after you finished up, you used a towel to dry your hair a bit and got dressed in some leggings and a large t-shirt. you figured you might as well be comfortable if you didn't have anything else to do.

going back into your living room you decided to read the note that was taped to your gate. you pulled the bin out, followed by the shoe box, followed by the note.

you've been receiving them for close to 7 years now, ever since that high profile case you did for the bau. honestly, there was no telling if the letters were from more than one person. they are all typed and printed out.

at first they were all 'thank yous' for putting away a serial killer, but then came the anniversary of him being in prison... and people got a bit angry. then, people who were grateful for you putting him away forgot about it, as they should since they have lives of their own, and all that was left were the people who were angry.

the people who would wish you were dead. the people who think you should be inside there with the other killers. the people who were upset about you putting their 'true love' away for good. those were the people you were scared of.

the people that knew your address.

the people that sent you death threats.

those were the terrifying ones. the ones that kept you up at night, looking out of your window, trying to see if anyone was truly out there. nobody ever was. logically, you knew that nobody was out there lurking.

but if you told big bro, he would go all fbi on the letters. he would try to figure out who sent them, and send them to jail themselves. you didn't know if they were truly a threat, so what's the point in poking the bear? if they got too terrible, you would tell him. maybe...

you son of a bitch. you should've been his last victim so you wouldn't be here and he would be. you're nothing but a manipulative little bitch.

you don't deserve anything you have handed to you.

go die, bastard.

you folded it back up and placed it in the box, the bin, then pushed it underneath the couch.

were you worried? of course. would you tell anyone? not yet. if your fear became unmanageable, you would let someone know.

the only problem with the notes is that there was no return address. you put up security cameras everywhere around your gate in hopes of catching the culprit(s) on video, but sadly they were able to hack into the cameras you had gotten.

you would check the video footage after you received a note or picture. the time stamp went from 8:54 to 9:03, meaning they probably hacked into it before they got there.

maybe garcia could find whoever hacked into it every night if you needed her to. surely she would be able to work her magic when necessary.

you went into your room to check your phone for any new messages.

a <3: what're you doing for lunch today? feel up to spending time together two days in a row? let me know whenever you can; there's no case today.

you: i don't have any plans at all today, i guess i'll just have to suffer through another lunch with you.

and... sent.

unknown number: hi, y/n. it's spencer. i just wanted to know how're you doing? is the cut on your face okay?

you: hey back genius :) i'm doing pretty well, all things considered. my face is looking much better than it was before i went to bed, thank you for asking.

send.

while waiting for a response, you decided to clean the house a bit. you vacuumed your rugs, washed the dishes in your sink, did your laundry, and that was pretty much all you had to do today. everything done before 10 a.m.

checking your phone, there were two more messages, one from each of the guys.

a <3: great! would you mind just meeting me at the office around 11:30?

you: that's no problem at all. any place in mind?

you checked the other message from spencer.

spencer :) : i'm glad you're doing well, y/n. and to clear things up, your face didn't look bad at all last night, bruise and cut included.

what a little charmer...

you: thanks for the clarity, it's very appreciated. so how've you been since last night? save any other damsels in distress?

you put your phone down and decided to start getting ready. you opted for some blue jeans, high rise, and a lavender halter top. you paired that with some white high-top converse and threw on your gray blazer spencer brought you from last night, after you retrieved it from the dryer.

wearing something so casual, you decided to just wear your natural hair to the office. you did, however, need to cover the remnants of your adventure last night so aaron wouldn't be upset upon seeing something.

you used some good ol' color corrector, concealer, a bit of foundation, and some powder to cover the bruises and fail to disguise the cut. then again, there's not much that can be done to cover that up.

you checked the time on your phone, 10:53, and saw two more message notifications.

a <3: i was thinking about ordering some mexican food to the office so we could just stay there.

you: i'm good with anything, so that sounds great! i'll see you soon.

you sent the message and hopped over to the one spencer had sent you.

spencer :) : sadly, no other damsels. although i suppose that could be considered a good thing to most. oh! and if you were wondering, i got your number from garcia. i wasn't stalking you or anything, no worries.

you: yes, i'm glad i was the only damsel in need of saving last night. also, if i were to find out you had been stalking me, i don't think i'd be afraid. in fact, i'd probably be more flattered that THE dr. spencer reid would consider me stalk-worthy.

was it flirtatious? yes. would it make him flustered? probably. would i enjoy being the person that flustered him? absolutely.

sent.

you got into your car and began the journey to quantico. the drive isn't very long, only about twenty minutes. you hopped out of the car, and made your way to the front desk to check in. looking over your shoulder, you saw none other than spencer reid walking up to you before the woman gave you your visitor's badge.

"hi there, damsel," spencer smiled as he greeted you. you walked closer to him after thanking the lady.

"hey, hero," you laughed as you both got closer. "is it too soon to hug you?"

"oh, uhm... not at all. i was actually-yes. i do want to- i'm just gonna..." he stuttered as he opened his arms for you to snuggle into.

"i like your hugs," you surprisingly announced.

"th-thank you," he smiled as he rested his chin on your head, secretly enjoying the coconutty scent that wafted off your hair into his nose.

"yea this is gonna be the new greeting tactic for us. just saying," you huffed into his chest.

"i wouldn't mind that at all," he laughed before you pulled back from his embrace, giving his shoulders a little squeeze before relinquishing all contact.

"okay, i'm here to see aaron. i'm assuming he's in his office, like always?" you rose one eyebrow in question before feeling a hand on your shoulder, turning to see aaron.

"i'm not always in my office," he rebutted as he embraced you in his arms. "how are you?" he asked nicely.

"i'm good! i hope you aren't overworking yourself like you usually tend to do," you voiced into his chest. he pulled back, not releasing your shoulders but looking deeply at your face.

"what's that?" he pointed to your cheekbone, his brows furrowing in concentration.

"oh, pshh. it's nothing," you shrugged as you waved his hand off, noticing spencer behind aaron with a look on his face that suggested you tell your brother what it was.

"y/n. what happened?" he pushed, giving you his 'brother' look.

"fine," you huffed. "i was gonna have to explain it eventually," you rolled your eyes. "last night before i left, ron got a bit handsy. before he did too much, spencer showed up to return my jacket. things got out of hand, ron might've slapped me, spencer might've pushed him against a wall, all's well that ends well," you grinned in hopes that he wouldn't have understood a word you just uttered.

"ron slapped you?" he asked in disbelief, his face still showing no emotion as per usual.

"yea, but spencer stopped him before he got to do anything else. oh! i don't have a job at all anymore, so i'm free for the next two weeks," you pressed your lips together.

"reid was there?" he turned to face spencer, who's face looked like a deer in the headlights.

"yup. i don't know what would've happened if he didn't show up. i really owe him, aaron," you said, trying to calm your brother down from the edge he was not-so-clearly teetering on.

"well, reid. uhh, thank you. and y/n. you should've told me this the second it happened," he ordered, looking at you shooting daggers.

"sir, yes, sir," you nodded off. "i'm sorry i didn't tell you. i just knew you'd be upset and i figured since everything's okay now that it wasn't important," you shrugged, trying to diffuse the situation.

"it is important. it will always be important because you're important to me," he emphasized before taking a deep breath. "as long as you'll tell me next time i think i'll be okay."

"great! now when's the food supposed to get here because... food," you excitedly asked as you followed aaron as he turned to go to his office.

"it'll be here in about 10 more minutes," he announced as he motioned for her to sit beside him in the chairs in front of his desk. "so... what's the full story of what happened?"

"are we really gonna talk about that right now?" you huffed, clearly over the situation from last night.

"yes. we are. harassment is a serious issue that should be dealt with accordingly. you know that, y/n," he reasoned, propping his arm on his desk as he looked at you with his stern face.

"i do know that. i also know that he only ever did that to me. he has a wife and two kids; he'd never do anything to put them in jeopardy," you announced, trying to convince aaron not to press the issue any further.

"but he would be willing to risk a law suit from you because of what happened?" he questioned in defiance, not accepting the ask to drop it.

"i wouldn't give him a law suit, aaron. you know that," you remarked, leaning in towards him slightly.

"you should. logically, you should sue him for hitting you. and i'm assuming for whatever else he's done to you in the past," he corrected you.

"how do you know he's done anything in the past?" you questioned, aaron nodding his head to the side. "right. profiler," you sighed. "look, he used to call me names i'm uncomfortable with, but now i won't have to deal with him. i don't work there anymore and never will again."

"you may not work there, but what if another woman starts working in the office? who's to say he won't harass them as well?" you looked down into your lap, fondling your fingers in avoidance. "look, i'm not trying to be rude about it. i just don't like seeing you hurt, and to know that the guy who hurt you isn't getting anything done to him is ludicrous."

"i know. you've always looked out for me since we were kids, but i'm not a kid anymore. i'm a grown woman and can take care of my own business when i need to," you replied softly, placing your hand over top aaron's in comfort. "but thank you, for always caring. i know you do it because you love me, even though you don't say it often," you laughed, trying to bring some light hearted-ness to the situation.

"i do..." he nodded along. "love you, that is," he added with a rare smile.

aaron has always been there for you. ever since you were kids, because of you dad he would take the role of protector for both you, sean, and your mom.

because of his role of 'protector,' he has this external shell that he feels as though he can't shed. in his mind, if he sheds it he's not able to mask his feelings, leaving not only himself but also those he protects vulnerable.

"i love you too, a.," you smiled back, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it from your grip. aaron took his phone and checked the time.

"the food's here now," he announced as he went to go pick it up from the front desk.

when he returned he gave you the food and you began to eat together, him telling you the latest garcia story that got quite the kick out of you until his attention went elsewhere.

"... so...?" aaron asked sneakily, a sly grin appearing on his face.

"... so what?" you furrowed your brows in question as you took a sip of your drink.

"you and reid, huh?" he widened his eyes in suspicion.

"what about me and reid?" you wanted to press him further, even though you knew exactly what he meant.

"that's exactly what i would like to know. what's going on with you and reid?" he finalized, pointing his fork accusingly at you.

"nothings going on with me and spencer," you raised your hands in defense. "i just drove him home after he intervened in the... situation, last night so i made sure to thank him. he texted me earlier today to ask me how i was holding up after yesterday evening- like a gentleman," you pointed out, raising your eyebrows to establish some sort of dominance you knew you didn't have over your brother.

"right," he said in a sing-song voice, you rolled your eyes at his tone.

"shut up," you scoffed as you threw away each of yours' trash. "so, i think it's time for me to go," you smiled as you turned to face aaron from the doorway.

"ahh, right," he sighed with a small grin. "i actually talked to strauss about getting you onto the team," he raised his eyebrows.

"did you, now?" you smirked. "what'd she say about it?"

"she said that you'd need to fill out an application, and that if you were to be hired there'd be a trial run first to see if everything would work out smoothly," he announced happily.

"really? so there's a chance i could work here?!" you squealed, rubbing your lips into a tight line from the excitement.

"a pretty good one, at that. i actually have an application right," he reached over his desk to retrieve a couple pages stapled together, "here," he smiled, handing you the application forms.

"oh my gosh!" you shouted, throwing your arms over your brother's stomach and squeezing him tightly. "this is so exciting! do you think i'm actually qualified?" you asked, pulling back from his embrace.

"are you kidding? of course you are?" he asked incredulously. "just fill those out, return them to strauss, and i'm sure she'll review them quickly," he nodded.

"right. i'll get going now," you smiled widely. "thank you, a. thank you so much," you said, giving him one last hug before you whooshed out of the door, papers in hand.

you walked down the stairs and out of the glass doors towards the elevator. the doors started to close after you pressed the 'lobby' button, but there was a brown satchel stuffed between them to stop the from closing right before they shut. once thy opened back up, you noticed who the bag belonged to.

"hey, spencer," you smiled, scooting over in the elevator to make more room for him.

"hey, y/n. how was your lunch?" he asked, returning your smile.

"it was pretty good. aaron gave me an application for the bau, which is very exciting," you bit back a wide grin.

"really?" he asked happily, his eyebrows raised, you nodded in return. "that's so great!" he said cheerily, wrapping his arms around your waist an lifting you off the elevator floor as the two of you giggled together.

"i know! if i'm being honest, i'm a bit nervous about it, y'know?" you said as he placed you back onto your feet, your hands still on his biceps.

"why? we already know you'll fit in well and do great. what's making you nervous?" he asked, his head tilting slightly as he looked at you with a confused expression.

"i don't know..." you started. "i guess since i've only worked at one job, doing one thing, moving nowhere, staying stagnant, i just don't know anything else," you shrugged.

"it's actually incredibly normal to feel nervous about a new job. over 80% of working professionals feel nervous or anxious when starting a new job," he clarified as the elevator doors opened, you both walking out together. "think of it this way: you know the material, you're more than qualified, you know everyone you'd be working with, and you're passionate about what you'll be doing. there's no doubt that you'll do amazing," he encouraged as you continued the walk to your car.

"thank you. at least i know i'm not the only one that gets this way," you sighed. "so why'd you walk all the way out here?" you giggled. "don't you still have work?"

"uhh, yes. i-i do have to work. i just f-figured- i just wanted to uh, talk to you?" he stuttered out, clearly not realizing how charming it was.

"well, thank you, spencer. i really enjoy our little chats," you nodded as you unlocked your car. "thanks for walking me out. i'll see you?" you asked.

"yea, yes. i will uhm, see you later. goodbye, y/n," he smiled gorgeously.

"see you later, spencer," you grinned back as you closed your door and began to drive off after buckling up.

halfway home, you got a call from someone. you pressed the bluetooth answer button on your radio to answer.

"hello?" you replied, readjusting your hands on your wheel.

"y/n hotchner. i can't believe you were at the office and didn't even bother to say hi to me!" emily's voice rang through the speakers.

"emily! hello to you too," you giggled.

"you even said hi to reid! but not me?" she shouted. "what gives?"

"sorry, i just kinda ran into him, i guess. well, he ran into me," you corrected yourself.

"what does that mean?"

"well, he kinda stopped me while i was in the elevator so he could talk to me. he's such a good friend," you complimented.

"only friend?" emily asked suggestively.

"yes, em. only friends," you laughed at the insinuation.

while it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to be more than friends with him, it certainly wasn't the right time for a serious relationship in your life yet.

"righhtt... anyway, that's not the only reason i called you," she stated.

"and why did you do that?" you asked as you turned onto the highway, a straight shot to the street with your house on it.

"i wanted to know if you'd like to come with us to a bar after we get off of work tonight?" she asked.

"hmm... who's 'we'?"

"well there's me, morgan, garcia, and you if you'll come?"

"sure, it sounds fun," you agreed. "besides, not like i have anything to do with no job and all," you laughed out.

"great! now we could probably convince reid to come now that you're going!" she exclaimed.

"jeez, em," you huffed as you rolled your eyes and turned onto your street.

"you know it's true. morgan's already teasing him about it and everything," she snorted out over the phone.

"oh poor spencer..." you grimaced as you thought about the relentless teases.

"yea, yea, yea. but you're coming, and there's no backing out! i'll just pick you up before i head to the bar. be ready at 8, ma'am. dress hot, please, garcia and i already agreed to it," she demanded.

"yes ma'am, sounds good," you nodded even though she can't see you.

"alright, love you, bye," she said, holding out the 'e'.

"love you too, bye," you said as she hung up the phone, finally turning into your driveway to be met with your gate.

you entered the code and the gate opened, allowing you to drive half a mile up to your house. you had always wanted a nice, big house as a child. the kind that people had in movies, and everyone looked at online. you signed a lease for this house a while back, and got an amazing deal on it sense you knew who owned it previously.

unlocking your door, you walked into your house with the papers in hand. you walked into your dining room and started filling the papers out easily. it was only 1 p.m., so you had a while before you had to start getting ready for going out with them tonight.

*******

you threw on a maroon colored corduroy skirt, tucking in your spaghetti strap, black tank top. adding some black  heeled booties, you added a few silver pieces of jewelry.

after adding some mascara, lip gloss, and a bit more powder you felt like you were ready to walk out of the door. you did a few spritzes of perfume before grabbing your black crossbody purse, letting it hang on one shoulder before grabbing your black denim jacket, dashing out of the door to emily's car.

"hey em," you said as you swung the door open, crawling not-so-gracefully inside.

"hey there," she said as she examined what you were wearing. "i seriously did my makeup for half an hour and you come out looking like that? it should be illegal to look that hot, y/n," she rolled her eyes with a huff.

"are you kidding me?" you replied, looking over to see what she was wearing herself.

she had on a short, black dress that had a low neckline, allowing tasteful cleavage to show through. she wore that with some red pumps to match her lipstick and some shimmery eyeshadow.

"okay, you can't say that. you look hot, em! don't sell yourself short," you punched her arm playfully.

"yea, yea, yea," she said, beginning to drive out of your driveway.

once you arrived to the bar, it looked like it was almost full. the music was loud, and you could feel the base through your feet on the floor. it took you about a minute until you could find the others, derek, pen, and spencer, sitting at a booth in the corner of the bar.

because of how crowded it was, you sat across from penny and derek and in between spencer and emily. you were practically on top of spencer because of how small the seats were, the poor guy.

"damn, you look great, y/n," derek gushed before looking at spencer with a smirk. "don't you think, pretty boy?" he laughed out, earning a jab from penny in the stomach.

"play nice, derek," she scolded him. "but you do look great, y/n. your legs look amazeballs in that outfit... like wow," she exaggerated.

"oh, shush," you blushed. "i'm kinda hungry... you guys?" you asked them.

"i could go for some cheese sticks," emily replied.

"i ate before we came here," spencer replied with a smile, leaning into your ear a little bit to answer.

"so cheese sticks and... cheese fries? i adore cheese fries," penny added.

"i'm okay with whatever. i'll go order," you said as emily got up to let you out.

"i'll help," spencer added as he scooted out with you.

"great, any drink requests?" you asked, pointing out to all three others.

"jack and coke," emily requested.

"anything fruity they have!" pen told you.

"whiskey, on the rocks," derek said with a smile.

"you've got it," you said as you turned around, realizing how crowded it was as you tried to weave through the first few people in your way.

you felt a hand grip yours firmly, turning to see it was spencer's hand you felt a sigh of relief wash over you. he leant down to your ear to talk to you, so you leaned a bit closer to him.

"i'm gonna put my arm around your waist so we can get through easier. is that okay?" he asked. his breath on your neck and ear almost distracted you from the question.

"y-yea. that's uhm... that's okay," you nodded your head as you felt his arm snake around your waist, pulling you closer to his side.

you moved one of your arms around his torso in return, squeezing yourself further into your side so you could avoid bumping into as many people. you could smell his sweet cologne, and the smell of what seemed to be coffee and old books. the warmth of his entire being was undeniable, drawing you closer to his presence.

eventually when you made it to the bar, you both kept your arms around the other. after ordering the food and drinks, you finally pulled your arm back, but stayed just as close to him.

"have you filled the application out yet?" spencer asked sweetly, leaning into your body.

"yea, i finished them just before i got ready to come here, actually," you nodded your head with a smile. "i guess you could say i'm a bit eager to start working."

"i think that's a good thing," he smiled brightly.

"oh, it definitely is!" you agreed. "i'm just so bored at the house. i've only been gone for a day and i need something to do, y'know?" you shrugged.

"busybody?" he questioned.

"oh you have no idea," you laughed, pushing his shoulder back playfully.

"i guess it runs in the family. hotch is always working on something as well," he mentioned. "so working at the bau would be a great fit for you both."

"yea, i sure hope so," you said longingly. "so what else do you do for fun... besides reading and working, of course," you asked.

"uhmm, i enjoy magic, i guess," he expressed.

"really?" you perked up, straightening out your posture at what he revealed.

"yea. i know a few little party tricks. wanna see?" spencer proposed, you nodded eagerly. "okay," he licked his lips as he began digging into his pocket and pulled out a $20 bill, also getting a pen. "watch..." he said as he jabbed the green paper with the pen.

"okay?" you squinted your eyebrows at what he was doing, unsure of where this trick was leading.

he then started to drag the paper around the pen, not tearing the bill at all. you felt your jaw drop in awe as he continued playing with it. then, he drug the pen all the way out of the bill, not a hole in sight. he made the bill disappear, leaving you stunned.

"what? how did you-? where did it-?" you stuttered, looking at him accusingly.

he reached around your hair, behind your ear and pulled out the same twenty dollar bill as earlier, a smug look on his face as he did so.

"okay... wow." you said as you began slow-clapping in awe. "i'm thoroughly impressed, spencer."

"thanks," he smiled shyly as he tucked the bill back into his pocket. "i've been doing magic since i was a kid. it's one of my hobbies when i'm we're not trying to catch serial killers," he shrugged.

"i'd say you've picked a good hobby," you chuckled. "i bet kids love it when you do them, huh?"

"yea, it's quite the entertainment for children," he nodded. "i love their reaction to it. it just makes me happy that i can bring a smile to their face."

"that, spencer, is fascinating," you complimented as the bartender handed you the drinks and spencer the food to take back to the table.

walking back was much easier than your journey to the bar, people actually making way for others with their hands full of refreshments. at least some people still had their manners.

"okay guys," you addressed as you began passing out the drinks, "here is your whiskey, jack and coke, and a tequila sunrise for pen."

"ouuu! i like the sound of that!" penny cheered as she took a sip of the drink, her eyes widening with delight.

"thank you, ma'am," derek thanked as he took a sip of his drink.

"absolutely perfect, y/n," emily relished in her beverage.

the rest of the night was fun. you laughed, joked, and danced with the girls. you even got to know spencer a bit more, much to your liking.

the next day you turned in your application, and was surprised when you got the job on the spot. you would begin your trial run in one week.

and you couldn't believe how fast that week went by, because as soon as you blinked, you were in the bullpen of the bau at your very own desk.

[brave-clarice]

“Clarice” Liveblog: Episode 2

Again, some extremely unfashionably late hot takes.

(Special thanks to @kathrynethegreat and @special-agent-pendragon​ for encouraging another liveblog!)

Clarice is working out! And eating junk food! I love it.

and cleaning her gun!

hey, Ardelia is drinking what I’m going to assume is her grandmother’s “smart people tea”.

Krendler disciplining Clarice already is infuriating but appropriate.

“I lost control.” Oh no, I don’t like that. Don’t make Clarice unstable. Her mental and emotional state never had anything to do with her failing career.

getting weird mixed signals from Ardelia. Last week, she obviously didn’t want Clarice to lie/stick to the script Krendler gave her, but now she’s telling Clarice she messed up by not doing so...?

“I better know you if you’re calling this early.” Amen, Ardelia.

I’m in love: this cinematography is straight out of the film (when she’s flying to WV with Crawford)!

“When’s the last time you went back to Appalachia?” “It’s been years.” What??? It has NOT been years--Clarice was JUST in West Virginia last week as well as in Silence, and she arguably attended college there as well. (UVA is at least nestled in the mountains, and you don’t have to drive far outside the Albemarle Valley to hit Appalachia proper.) After all the details about her character they’ve been nailing, they miss this glaring error? 

I like the tiny details she’s noticing (like the guy biting his nails). Not only because she’s an investigator, but because it’s reminiscent of Hannibal’s influence (imo).

Clarice Is Short: The Saga continues

still not getting any creepy vibes off Krendler. He’s going to be much less effective as an antagonist if he isn’t lewd as well as a dick.

I really don’t care for the way the opening “credits” fade out from the death’s-head moth to Clarice’s face. There are MANY animals that represent her, or parts of her, in the books--lions, lambs, horses, and of course birds--so this choice feels empty and lazy to me.

also lazy: having a fellow agent straight-up tell her in episode 2 “you shouldn’t be in the Bureau.” Maybe in two or three years, after some further “Death Angel”-type incidents, I could see this blatant rudeness, but not yet.

“Reesey”? Thanks, I hate it.

this flashback must be of Clarice’s little brother. That answers one question I had last week. That said...Clarice’s brother doesn’t play the same role in her story that Mischa does in Hannibal’s--but this sure feels like a Mischa-esque flashback.

good: they’re finally getting to the source of Clarice’s actual trauma!

bad: this is NOT how Clarice found out about her father. In fact, that whole incident is laid out in detail in the novels, and there’s nothing overly literary/un-cinematic about it, so this feels unnecessary. “The police are here! Something happened to Daddy!” No, bad! Show, don’t tell!

she would’ve known better than to introduce herself to that kid as “Clarice Starling, FBI,” come on now.

were they regularly able to wire tap hair clips in 1993? 

actually, nothing in this show looks very 90s to me so far. I’m sad about it.

so in eighteen months, Ruth Martin has gone from a junior Senator to the Attorney freakin’ General, and now she might run for governor?? At least let her get settled in one position of power first, why don’t you!

yet more Buffalo Bill flashbacks...alas.

are they trying to make this guy another surrogate Hannibal character? He’s commenting on Clarice’s accent and the dryness of her skin, asking about who she “left behind”...it all feels very Hannibal. (I know he’s a Charismatic Cult Leader trope, too--but when played off of Clarice...)

“Ew.” “I hate this guy.” I laughed.

I understand that Clarice probably feels conflicted re: her siblings in the book, but I’m really not digging the flashbacks of this Tim Burton character her brother.

@ the writers: Clarice already has the lamb backstory/symbolism, too. We don’t need this Little Brother stuff.

*shrieking* Mrs. Starling! At the sink washing the blood out of his hat!!! 

...aaand they had to ruin it with the brother’s painfully bad dialogue. Will still be good for gif-making, though.

are we supposed to interpret all these flashbacks as Clarice being incapable of controlling her emotions/state of mind? She keeps losing herself in memories and emerging all doe-eyed and panicky. I don’t like it.

not to be a broken record but...Clarice should be TOUGH. Again, Ardelia only saw her cry once in seven years. But she’s more worked up in this scene than Jodie was in Memphis!

when Mr. Cult Leader shouts “Agent Starling! Agent Starling!” he sounds exactly like Hannibal calling her back to his cell in the asylum. That has to be intentional. 

damn, wish that I could look as good five minutes after I’ve been crying as Clarice does.

I LOVE that Ardelia gets to be the crucial behind-the-scenes book-smart partner to Clarice’s action heroine.

AG Martin’s just playing politics by turning a blind eye to the crooked sheriff. But when her own daughter was just kidnapped and almost killed, she looks like a real hypocrite.

gosh, Rebecca Breeds is great. I already hope she gets nominated for an Emmy.

so Krendler is...doing the right thing???

Clarice’s father was definitely not a sheriff. I hope she’s just exaggerating for dramatic effect. (Maybe this will be clarified later.)

she couldn’t just sit with a manipulative guy without getting emotional, but she’s cool as a cucumber while telling an extended story about her father? HmmMM.

sometimes her mannerisms and facial expressions are so much like Jodie’s that it’s uncanny, like here when she leans forward to confront the Cult Leader.

“She did it.” Damn straight!

another great callback to Silence. this show’s camera crew knows its stuff!

“He’s concerned I have some residual trauma from Bill.” I. Hate. This. Subplot--and all its OOC implications.

“Catherine was close to her father, too.” Ooh, a nice allusion to the novel! Clarice makes note of their “common wound,” the loss of a father, when she’s in Catherine’s apartment in Silence.

she is just SO pretty.

little Clarice looks a LOT like Rebecca Breeds. I hope we see some more of her. 

The Good:

the continuing visual nods to the Silence film via cinematography

Mama Starling!!!

Clarice’s “The World Will Not Be This Way Within the Reach of my Arm” attitude, refusing to leave without helping the victims.

Ardelia Mapp coming in clutch! 

Clarice being, generally, a badass

and using psychological tricks/mind games to pin the antagonist...that’s the woman who disarmed a monster with just a few words.

Rebecca Breed’s acting has been phenomenal so far.

I like Clarice’s haircut a lot better when worn down (though it’s not very practical for fieldwork, so we probably won’t see it much).

The Bad:

the continuing Buffalo Bill-related Trauma Subplot. Ugh.

all the flashbacks to Clarice’s brother (and the not-so-subtle suggestion that her brother is, symbolically, another lamb).

will the real Paul Krendler please come forward? this guy is so TAME.

the other agents’ hostility towards Clarice needs to be toned down slightly so that it can escalate. Otherwise, where’s the tension?

is this actually 1993? I’m not feeling it. Shouldn’t it have a little of that Season 1/2 X-Files aesthetic? Please give me more than once-an-episode references to pagers and fax machines!

that glaring Appalachia continuity error...it’s still bugging me.

I missed the overt Hannibal references, even though they’re not necessary to any part of this episode. A lady can dream!

Overall, I really liked this one despite my various issues with it. It started shakily but built to a great finish. The emphasis across both episodes on Clarice being in the FBI not just to “get out, get anywhere,” but out of a genuine desire to help victims has been wonderful. I just hope they don’t swerve too far into the “too traumatized and emotionally compromised to function” lane. It would be a disservice to Clarice’s character and to her journey (and would smack too much of “Hannibal really did prey on her weak mind/brainwash her”.

Things I’d still like to see: More of her personality. Her hobbies and interests. That she’s cleaning her gun is great! Now let’s see “Poison Oakley” practicing her sharpshooting skills. Or car shopping. Or clothes shopping to show off her “developing taste.” (Ardelia can come!) I’ll take literally anything. Give us more of Clarice’s sense of humor as well. She had some subtle funny moments in the pilot, and it’s nice to see Rebecca smile for a change.

And Krendler? Smear that man in grease! I appreciated a happy ending even though Clarice’s career is, as we know, already in a downward spiral--the last thing we want is for every episode to be a slog, especially when a good chunk of the audience hasn’t read the book and doesn’t know Clarice is doomed to fail in the Bureau.

However... Krendler’s not a “redemption arc” kind of character. Or even a “run-of-the-mill sexist asshole” character. This is a man who spent seven years systematically sabotaging a young woman’s career because a) he was jealous that she solved the Gumb case before him, and b) she wouldn’t fuck him. He was a Justice Department official working fist-in-glove with a serial child molester who was planning some of the heinous vigilante justice imaginable. THAT’S why his very gruesome end at Hannibal’s hands felt deserved--even Clarice thought so! In short, he needs to get nasty.

Anyway, thanks for coming to another long-overdue TedTalk. Fingers crossed that the next one will be more timely (aiming for Sunday night)! 

[aloysiavirgata]

The Way That Light Attaches To A Girl

Title:  The Way That Light Attaches To A Girl

Author: Aloysia Virgata

Rating: PG (language)

Timeline: Season 1

Summary:  Maybe she’s not so bad, this gingery little doctor.

Author’s Notes:  Mulder reads Cicero and finds the method of loci tool useful in honing an eidetic memory. Also, the timeline of this show is absurd. Per canon, the Pilot is in March of 1992. But here it’s March of 1993 because...I just can’t, honestly. Thank you to @perplexistan for reminding me that I wrote this in 2013, and talking me through the timeline.

*** It's been a long December and there's reason to believe Maybe this year will be better than the last I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself To hold on to these moments as they pass - Counting Crows *** It’s gritty outside, gritty and gray with a rime of salt on everything. There are pockets of rotten snow for him to kick, slushy and satisfying against his heavy shoes. He pulls his coat tighter, feeling like a hard-boiled detective in a pulp paperback, thinking this would be a good time for a cigarette if he still smoked. His divorce papers were filed this time last year, just like his parents’ had been a couple decades back. The ink had scarcely been dry on the marriage certificate when they realized they didn’t know each other and changed their minds. It was the same time Diana left him and his - their - files for whatever the fuck had summoned her across the sea. Paperwork, as ever in his life, was all that remained of these experiences. If this were really a detective story, he thinks, stepping over a soggy Washington Post, a tall cool blonde would have walked in through the frozen mist and into his arms. Someone lithe, with red lipstick and half-lidded violet eyes. She would look like Veronica Lake and speak in a low, compelling voice, urging him to do brave and outlandish things to thwart the Nazis. He’d wear a fedora, buy a mink stole for the blonde. They’d drink martinis and make love in dark hotels smelling of leather and intrigue. But he’s not living in a dime-store novel, he’s living in Alexandria on Christmas Eve 1993 (“The New Age of Angels,” claimed Time magazine, somewhat cryptically) and is eager to turn the last page in his calendar. Mulder knows it’s symbolic only, that his Eurocentrism is showing, but he still watches the ball drop on TV. Last year he’d kissed a woman in a bar and gone home with her too, but doesn’t think he’d remember her face if he saw it. He hasn’t got the energy to entice a stranger this year, and Scully’s hardly his type. He shouldn’t be sleeping with coworkers anyway, it’s never worth the trouble and the FBI is full of people who are paid to do nothing but sniff out secrets. Besides, he is now 32 years old which is really about time to start getting your shit together even if your baby sister was abducted by aliens at Thanksgiving. Mulder generally holds the holidays in low regard. He pauses to watch a small flock of cats at an upended trash can, feasting upon pungent things like battlefield ravens. One of the cats glances at him sidelong, narrowing round yellow eyes as though Mulder has designs on the gray thing it’s gnawing at. He holds his hands up to show the cats he wishes them no harm, keeps walking. Scully had offered to drive him home but he thanked her and caught the blue line, the clank and rattle of the train making him feel like some variety of normal businessman. Maybe people thought he was a banker or a Congressional staffer, going home to a twinkling Douglas fir and a mantle hung with stockings. Nine months and a broken condom can, in many circumstances, result in a whole new person. But it’s been nine months with Scully and she’s still her own woman, though Christ knows Mulder’s tried to remake her in his own image. She’s trudged alongside him through graveyards, military bases, bad diners, and one memorable night in Pennsylvania where she had captured a frantic bat in the hotel lobby. (“Do you want to wait for it to take human form before I release it?” she’d asked drily.) Through all of it she remained disbelieving and supercilious, leaving him vexed. She’d chirped “Merry Christmas, Mulder” at him, assuming that he celebrated Christmas and was capable of merriment. He was afraid Scully’d bring in a little Charlie Brown tree for the office, ornaments smooth and shining as her earnest face. She is skeptical in all the wrong ways and probably has the Michael Bolton Christmas album on her stereo at this very moment. She probably has eggnog in the fridge and will drink it without rum. She probably likes fruitcake and ham with pineapple rings on it. Mulder, going home to the shadows of his apartment where he might listen to Pink Floyd and nurse his resentment with three fingers of whiskey, feels justified in his scorn. A couple loaded with gifts pushes past him and he nearly loses his balance on a patch of black ice, clutches at a lamp post. He gazes up at the endless sky as snow begins to fall again. (Scully’s probably delighted by the prospect of a white Christmas, probably whistling a few bars of the song as she puts on a green sweater.) But he’s being unfair, isn’t he? For all her tattling back to the higher ups, she’s never tried to present herself as an angel. Her primary fault is in not being Diana, not being a tall dark moon goddess. Being pretty rather than beautiful, being frank rather than alluring. He’s seen her smoking a couple of times, discovered that she says “Jesus!” a lot so that she doesn’t say “fuck” or “shit.” This amuses him; he thought the blasphemy would be worse. He knows Scully watches what she eats but turns to carbohydrates and wine in times of stress. He found out she was sleeping with that asshole Jack Willis, which really threw him for a loop because Scully has a schoolteacherish quality that led him to presume premarital abstinence. He thinks of her in that first motel room, her smooth back beneath his hands, her panic turning on some masculine caveman switch. It’s been a long year, perhaps she could be his type after all despite her sensible underwear. She’s attractive enough if you like that sort of Hibernian look. He can tell she’s a bit awed by him and he could manipulate that to his advantage. Mulder walks the last slushy block thinking impious thoughts about Catholic school uniforms and playing doctor. The honeycomb tile of his building is muddied, layered with fragments of leaves and footprints. A radio blares something about Barbra Streisand doing her first live concert in twenty years. Mulder shakes his head and imagines his mother on the Vineyard, frothing with excitement. “Merry Christmas Agent Mulder,” says Leo, the maintenance guy. Leo’s got some kind of intellectual disability that Mulder hasn’t bothered to diagnose, but he’s always quick to replace a kicked-in lock or a shot-out window, and Mulder therefore regards him as a master craftsman. He gives Leo money every year at Christmas. At present he’s attacking the hallway sludge with an ancient mop. “Merry Christmas, Leo.” He gets his mail, sorting through it as he ambles to the elevator. Bill; bill; Playboy; Christmas cards from his doctor, dentist, and insurance agent; coupons; a thick manila envelope from the divorce attorney. Mulder rolls it all into a bundle and shoves it under his arm. He’s fumbling with his keys when the elevator deposits him on the fourth floor. There are wreaths on most of the doors in his building, a handful of mezuzas. Number 42, as usual, conforms to no given standard. He stops when he sees Scully leaning against his door. “Um,” he says. “Hey.” She waves her fingertips, looking uncomfortable. She’s holding a cardboard FedEx envelope. “I forgot to give you this before you left.” “Okay,” he says, uncertain about the idea of Scully on his turf. “Hang on a sec.” He makes sure the packet from the lawyer is hidden, though she’s probably heard the whole story. He knows what the talk is. They all act like he’s John fucking Douglas, like he can guess what number they’re thinking of based on how they part their hair. He’s a sideshow act, the guy who can think like John Roche and Monty Props. A freak. Scully turns to slouch against the wall while he jiggles the latest lock open, wishing there were a convenient place to stash a can of WD-40. “So, uh, come on in, I guess.” She turns, walks under his arm as he hold the door open, and stands in the entryway. The door clicks shut behind him, a final sound. Mulder puts his mail on the kitchen counter, tossing his coat over it. “You want anything to drink?” he calls to her, unsure if he can make good on the offer. What the hell does Scully drink? Tea? Zima? He’s got a few beers in the fridge, his wife’s wine is long finished. “No, I’m good.” Her coat’s draped over her arm when he comes back out, and he hangs it up for her. He notices that she’s wearing jeans with a navy cable-knit sweater, no tartan in sight. Her boots are dark and practical. Mulder shrugs off his jacket, loosens his tie out of its regulation noose. “Here, sit down. There’s, uh, the couch is right over there.” His couch is the atramentous green of algae, appearing black in the close room. “So what’s up?” She holds out the folder to him. “I realized I had this when I got home and since it’s a three day weekend, I wanted to make sure you had it. I thought it might be important.” Scully sits down close to the edge of the couch, much of her weight on her knees. She presses her hands together between them after Mulder takes the envelope, bouncing a little bit. He looks at the return address and groans. Arlinsky, that idiot from the Smithsonian. Mulder’s got enough credibility issues without this nutcase on his tail. He tosses the envelope on his cluttered desk for later perusal. Scully, as the messenger, looks apologetic. “Bad news?” He sits next to her, why not? “Nah, just…you know. The usual.” “Ah.” He watches her do a quick scan of his apartment. He has nothing to be ashamed of, she can look around. Mulder removes his tie completely now, untucks his shirt and leans into the corner of his couch. “So I’m surprised you’re here, Scully. I got the impression Christmas was a…thing. For your family.” He waves his hand vaguely, as though families are something he read about in a Margaret Mead article but never fully understood. Something closes in Scully’s face, which intrigues him. Discomfort usually comes with a good story, but he’ll tease it out of her later. She scratches her elbow, stalling. “I’m going to go by my parents’ house tomorrow.” “Not tonight? No big Scully celebration with stockings hung by the fire and cookies for Santa?” He has picked these ideas up from Oxford and Christmas music. Santa would probably prefer a cold longneck and some nachos. “My sister’s coming in tomorrow, she’s staying with my parents so they’re getting everything ready tonight. My younger brother and his family too, they’re getting in late.” Scully looks faintly guilty for this wealth of relatives. Which one of them are you avoiding, Dana? “Fun,” he says in a tone that he hopes is not sarcastic. Scully shrugs, picks at the cuff of her sweater. “Yeah, it’ll be good. I’ll get to see my niece and nephew. What about you? What are you doing?” “Oh, just…you know. Laying low.” He’s meeting up with the Gunmen for Chinese food and bootleg video games from some Japanese guy they know, but he’s not ready to tell Scully about them. In part because she might want to meet them and would end up charging Frohike with a sex crime. “Sounds good,” she says in a non-judgmental tone. “I could use some down time myself.” “Job wearing on you?” Going to wimp out and request a transfer? She puffs a breath of air out, pushes the tip of her tongue to her top lip. “No. Well, I mean, it’s hard. We travel so much, I didn’t do that before and it’s taking some adjustment.” Mulder drapes an arm over the back of the couch, wishing he could take his pants off and order a pizza. But he wants to know more about what drives her; Diana left him wary of unknown quantities, and this is his first opportunity to peer into Scully’s head. “Yeah, I guess they mostly shipped the cadavers to you before, huh? When you were doing doctor things?” He sees a slight narrowing of her eyes at this, the implication that she’s not a doctor now. The fact that she took it as an insult means it’s a vulnerability. “Mostly.” He decides to push it, being as he has home field advantage. “How come you decided to stop practicing medicine?” Scully sits up straight, her palms on the tops of her thighs. “I didn’t realize I had.” Prickly. “Oh, sorry, no offense. I just….you left your residency to join the FBI, right?” Faker, he knows her career trajectory down to the day. “My work as a Special Agent has always revolved around my background in forensic pathology. I just felt…called to the FBI as the place to best put those skills to use.” Called, religious imagery. Interesting. Her reply had a rehearsed sound, it’s something she’s repeated numerous times. Who gives her grief about being an FBI agent? A younger brother wouldn’t, would probably look up to that. Mom or Dad, most likely, though it could be one of the older siblings. He’d put his money on Dad or big brother based on the cold formality of her words. Both men are in the military, she’d speak to that. And big brother wasn’t mentioned as being in town, so Dad it is. He throws her a bone for revealing so much. “I’ve heard nothing but commendations.” “Thanks.” The appreciation seems genuine. “So what about you, Mulder? Why….this?” Scully holds her arms out like an orchestra conductor. The gesture encompasses his desk, the groaning bookshelves and fading newspaper clippings. Area 51, Reticulans, ectoplasm, and jackalopes. “Study hard what interests you the most in the most undisciplined, irreverent and original manner possible,” he quotes. “Feynman.” Scully knows her physicists. “It’s the perfect con, really. I figured out a way to get the federal government to pay for my hobbies.” He hopes that will satisfy her, but knows better. “Why is it your hobby?” Ah, Scully. You little investigator, you. “I’m a lousy knitter.” She smiles. “Because of your sister?” He steeples his fingertips, taps them against his chin. It’s tempting to blow her off, but he considers the implications of her presence. There was no reason to bring that letter by; she could have called and he could have told her to round-file it. She’s trying to build something between them, she’s looking past his annoyance with her assignment and he’s not going to slap her hand away on Christmas Eve. “Hold that thought,” he says. Mulder goes to the kitchen for the beers and the churchkey magnet stuck to the freezer. He checks for food, but a cursory examination reveals that Scully is going to have to make do with some brews. She’s peering into the fish tank when he returns, scrutinizing the inhabitants. “I think one of your mollies is pregnant,” she says. “That spotted one.” “Yeah, they’re prolific little cannibals. Here, Scully. Have a drink.” He holds the bottle out to her when she turns, watches her hesitate for an instant before accepting. “Thanks,” she says. “Though I probably shouldn’t.” She pops the lid off when he’s done with the opener. Takes a long drink. “So,” he says, returning to his seat on the couch. “Why do I spend my time looking for ET and yetis, right?” Scully rolls the bottle between her palms. “It’s hard for me to understand why someone with your abilities chooses to use those gifts this way.” Once she rides out this dogleg, Mulder thinks, she’ll go far in the Bureau with her careful diplomacy. “When my sister was…taken, it was the first time that none of the authority figures in my life had an answer. Not my parents, my teachers, the police…no one could tell me what had happened. Years went by and there was still no solution. People stopped thinking about it, you know? They just acted like she was gone and that’s all there was to it.” “But not you.” Her voice is gentle. “I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that this was a question with an answer, even if no one wanted to delve deeper into what that answer was. I became, well, obsessed with the idea that there were all of these mysteries out there with answers that people were uncomfortable finding. So when I found the X-Files…” He glances sidelong at his partner, her nutmeg freckles and her cinnamon hair. “Isn’t that what you were doing already, though? Solving impossible cases?” He shrugs. “They weren’t impossible. They followed a pattern if you knew what to look for. But what I do now, no one wants the answer, Scully. That’s the real challenge.” “You caught Monty Props. Props, Jesus, that case is legendary! I want to understand, I do. I see what you’re saying about the challenge, it does make a kind of sense. But when I think about the people you stopped…” She shakes her head. She doesn’t get it. But she’s trying instead of dismissing him. That’s something. “That’s just it. Your reaction, it’s…look. Serial killers, they’re sexy. The public loves them. Everyone wants to be Bill Patterson or, or… Jack Crawford, right? People still read about Jack the Ripper, they practically turn these psychopaths into folk heroes. There will never be a shortage of people wanting to do what I did.” Half the beer is gone in his next swallow. Scully looks thoughtful, her thumbnail at the damp corner of the label on her bottle. “So this is like, what? Like a martyr thing? If you walk away from the limelight for this then it makes up for never knowing what happened to your sister?” She turns her head to give him a level gaze, her eyes so blue and clear they seem artificial at times. He’s been called worse than a martyr, but somehow it stings. “Martyr? That’s condescending.” “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry. I just, I guess it’s hard for me to understand what you hope to gain. What all this means to you in the end.” Mulder’s had enough of her analysis. “I’m not like you, I don’t crave approval.” It’s her turn to look stung. “I didn’t mean to pry.” He sighs. “Your questions aren’t unfair. It’s been a hard year.” “I heard.” There’s sympathy in her tone and he tries not to resent it. “Listen, Scully, I know you didn’t ask for this assignment and you’re doing your best with a bad hand. It’s just hard to share a career I’m passionate about with someone who pretty clearly thinks it’s a waste of time.” Scully sets her beer on the coffee table, resting her elbows on her knees, her hands cupped around her chin. Mulder props his feet up next to her bottle, patient in the silence. There are deep shadows in the room, illuminated by the ambient streetlight through the curtains, the cool blue aquarium lamp. Puddles of light leak from the kitchen, but they barely stain the rug. Scully looks like a Hitchcock girl, white and pure, untouched by the surrounding gloom. She reminds him of Ingrid Bergman or Greta Garbo, her good bones and heavy-lidded eyes. “You know,” Scully says, muffled, “Pathology’s hardly the hottest specialty in med school. It’s not really seen as a place to make a career.” “The malpractice can’t be bad though, right?” She rolls her eyes. “You spend years of your life learning to care for the living and use it to examine the dead. People have…opinions about that.” This had not occurred to him, and he says as much. Scully sits up and settles back into the couch. “And to then take that to the FBI, well…” Full circle to the truth. “Lots of grief for that?” She shrugs. “From some more than others. My dad, he – look, Mulder. I’m not saying we’re in the same place or have the same ideas or that we’re both noble misunderstood renegades. I am not trying to oversimplify anything. I’m just telling you that I know what it’s like to care deeply about something that other people don’t necessarily understand.” She looks defensive after this, takes a fierce swig of her beer. Mulder eyes her up with a new appreciation. “I guess I just figured all doctors sit on pedestals.” “If so, some of the pedestals are much higher than others. I know you don’t like me, Mulder. Or at least you don’t like our partnership. We may never be friends, I realize that. But it’s been three quarters of a year, you have to let your guard down if we’re going to work together. I want what you want, answers to these questions.” He smiles at her. A real smile, and thinks that it’s been a long time since he’s done it. “But you still think I’m spooky.” Scully smiles back. “Absolutely. And I still don’t believe in aliens. Or yetis. Or missing time or vampires or Nessie. But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe there are answers.” He scratches his chin, five o’clock shadow rough on his fingertips. Maybe she’s not so bad, this gingery little doctor. “I did say I wanted a challenge.” “You did at that.” She returns her bottle to the table, then turns to face him. The aquarium provides a ghostly backlight, her hair gleaming like rubbed copper. He holds this image of Scully in his mind until it is indelible, then tucks it away to remember her by. The Rhetorica ad Herennium advises sensory encoding to aid in recall, and so he places her in the sunlit portrait gallery of his memory palace. Scully stands, crosses the room to take her coat from the rack. “I’m sorry the letter wasn’t good news.” Mulder gets up to join her. “It’s okay.” He squints when she opens the door, the hallway so bright it hurts his eyes. “Thanks for bringing it by.” “Okay, well, I’ll see you on Monday, I guess.” She seems hesitant to go. She probably feels sorry for him. “Thanks for the drink. And the company.” “Go,” he says. “You don’t want coal in your stocking for oversleeping tomorrow.” She laughs a little, then takes his hands in her small white ones. She gives them a squeeze. “This is going to be okay, Mulder.” He thinks she might be right, squeezes back. She lets go of him, walks out and turns right. He locks up behind her, her perfume still lingering on his side of the door. Diana’s not coming home. It’s time that he moved on.

[falle-ness]

Imagine this:

• Liz is consistently written, the story shown from her perspective, and we, the audience, know and root for her because she deserves the truth. And we find those reasons she has understandable. And we actually see how conflicted she is.

• Red is being Red, but this time he is written with less smartass attitude (which means he doesn't outsmart the FBI or whatever the whole time, and can fail on a massive scale too), yet is still his devilish sleek bastard self.

• Ressler is written as an intelligent, sharp-minded, tough, no-nonsense guy, who's motto is less words more action. He gets along with women coz of his 'silent charmer' vibes.

Y'all feel me?

And here we go to our extreme AU, 18+.

Reddington and Ressler have a private arrangement the FBI isn't aware of. Both are fine with it - no strings attached are better in their line of work. They meet in secret, enjoy the night, and split only to meet again in the Post Office. Notice: this doesn't change their work relationship much - it's just a bonus for two touch- and sex-starved individuals. And it's not some kind of fluff or whatever. Enemies with benefits at its finest.

As Red learns about Liz's intentions (though he can't really figure what's she's gonna do - she's a loose cannon to him at this point, but we, the audience, know exactly why she does what she does and we get to see how much it costs for her emotionally to make each decision; it's completely different from canonical 2d Liz most can't root for), he, being a devilish spider who's entire criminal empire is partly built because of the cobwebs of lies and intrigues and manipulations, greasing the right hands and putting out the competition, orchestrates a perfect trap, knowing Liz's weakness - she desperately needs something "normal" to hold on to.

He uses Ress and Liz's past history - they never worked out as a couple for a number of reasons, but mostly because in this au they have two different mindsets and backgrounds. Yeah, opposites can be attracted, but after a while things don't work. In this au, I assume both Liz and Ress are equally these 'alphas', so they can't both lead. And it ruins their relationship.

Think of Ress as ambitious grade A asshole with Patrick Bateman's vibes when it comes to his gym routine and appearance. He keeps his vulnerable side (don't mix with pussy-whipped) to himself. And he's lost his black-and-white thinking long time ago.

Liz as an intelligent and gifted young (we're fixing things here, remember?) profiler with dark inclinations who learns her life was all a lie. She herself uncovers the connections and etc, confronts Tom (and she is conflicted coz she loves him still), they try to figure things out, Tom's redemption arc happens etc.

And in this au she lost her husband Tom pretty much under the same circumstances as in s5 with only difference that she asked for his help and they got into the trouble together - for a change we need a couple who talks to each other, so their vows about no more lies was actually true, and they were a team and tried to figure the missing pieces. And so, Liz will have to live with the guilt she is responsible for his death, which adds more pressure for her.

Red knows all that and can use it against her (he isn't her dad here; he is in all this simply because she is the key to the archive/fulcrum whatever - hello memory manipulation and forgotten storylines).

*Here she left the FBI very routinely and less stupidly, and she didn't commit (yet) murders and all - she just leaves and decides to hunt for the truth. And I personally think that if she's driven enough, she'd give Agnes up. Maybe to Jennifer or maybe she'd give it up to Scottie. Whatever. No Agnes. Only her and the desire for the truth. And we, the viewers, this time see how hard that decision was. She starts taking pills too-anti insomnia pills for sure.

Ofc you'd ask whyyy whyyyhy Ress but not a random man and try to pitchfork me. But hear me out.

Now, we remember that she's a widow who is in the process of going though PTSD, so she won't jump in bed with a snap of a finger - all those stages and etc aren't fast, years can go by between them. The shows cut that time, ofc, but oftentimes forget to reflect that in the characters themselves.

*yeah, I know everyone has different coping mechanisms but I assume that Liz isn't one of those people who cork their pain with sex, booze, self-loathing.

Since in this au Ress and Liz have history, it'd be easier for Ress to break that wall of distrust and try to convince her divulge her plans to him. And he'd tell them to Red, obviously.

What's his reason beyond the sex is amazing an arrangement and why he doesn't take Liz side? Simple - in this AU he never really trusted or cared for her. They split long time ago, they even don't get partnered up anymore, and she's basically a stranger to him. They don't get along on a personal level and still have to be colleagues and do their job.

So, ingredients of our psychological drama: Red is a manipulative bastard operating within grey moral area - which doesn't mean he cares for good and rainbows in the world; he is driven by profits and money; Liz's hunt undermines his Concierge's entity and also his operation as the Russian N13 operative. He could simply kills her, yeah, but a) killing an FBI agent means mess b) he is actually appreciating a worthy opponent (and maybe deeeep deeep down he knows she might win).

Red enlists Ressler to help -

And Ressler plays the crying shoulder and etc (and he doesn't look after like an idiot cause we know it's a set-up or this is revealed later, post factum).

We won't go for the obvious and boring path here and say ress and keen reunite and two against the world. Coz if it's obvious, why bother?

At some point, Liz knows Ress plays her, but she keeps playing her part and feeding him fakes.

Ressler senses she's lying, and he doesn't report Red, because he wants to figure what is the game she is playing. And also because a part of him is willing to find out whether whatever she's searching for is true.

They manipulate each other and emotionally spiral down to some dark places and it fucks them up. It's messy and raw, and it's now not clear who is the victim and who is the prey.

Ress learns things he wished he'd never know (re: he wasted his life working on a sleeper agent and now active kgb guy), and the fact he was banging with that guy also bangs his self-esteem out. Imagine how that realization hurts.

Liz learns the truths about her fam, esp her mother and father, and that she's been used as a vessel for some info because of who her mother was. And she also learns her mother willingly let Red do it because they were involved once.

And Red? Well, he'll enjoy watching the lives of those two tumbling down the hill at avalanche's speed.

You can figure the rest and the tone of the ending - use whichever shippers goggles you want.

[onisiondrama]

"Onision: In Real Life DEBUNKED” Breakdown & Thoughts

Confirmed by Sarah over a 9 hour phone conversation with Onision

I’ve seen a lot of people speculate this phone call never happened because James’ claim that it was 9 hours long. I can’t lie, that threw me off when I first read it too. 

I believe most likely he is exaggerating the length of the conversation, although it’s not impossible for the them to speak for 9 hours.

The date he claims the call took place on lines up with the dates and times of Sarah’s last 2 tweets. She seemed very upset. I am not going to post them because her account is currently private.

the conversation started January 22, 2021 and ended around 1am her time, it continued laters that morning only to end with Sarah's sister taking the phone away and screaming that she was happy Sarah ruined his life while refusing to give the phone back to Sarah

So they took a break in-between calls. Possibly he is counting the 9 hours based on when their first phone call started and their last call ended.

Her sister taking the phone away and telling him off gives me the impression Sarah was extremely upset while talking to him. I don’t believe this was a confession / begging for forgiveness call like he is trying to make it out to be.

SARAH'S CONFESSIONS DURING COVERSATION 1-22-2021:

I doubt that these were confessions. Based on his past debates and interviews, I think it is more likely James walked her through carefully worded scenarios / events and forced her into answering with a simple yes or no. If she tried to add more or explain herself, he would cut her off and exclaim he was right. That’s how he’s treated others during debates, especially during recent interviews about Sarah’s (& others’) accusations against him, so that is how I imagine the call going down.

- The fraudulent #MeToo'ers were paid to participate in the documentary.

I understand the concept of it being unethical to pay accusers for interviews due to it possibly being an incentive for them to exaggerate, but everyone already participated in free public interviews. Everything they said in the documentary they have already stated multiple times for free. They did not say anything new. I personally don’t see them allegedly getting paid to be on the documentary as a blow to their credibility.

Also, James wanted to be paid to participate as well. So if he participated and was paid, should we no longer consider his claims valid? Especially since he would not just defend himself, but also make accusations against everyone since he claims he is actually their victims. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was already paid for at least one of his interviews about this whole thing by now.

- Sarah now has enough money to "Make a down payment on a house"

This is so incredibly vague. That could be almost any amount of money. Also, I don’t trust his quotations. He didn’t specify that was a direct quote from Sarah. He could have asked her how much she was paid and she would not say, so he asked if she could make a down payment on a house.

- Sarah again admitted to apologizing twice for raping Onision via sexual extortion.

So she agreed that she said “sorry for raping you guys” twice as she was angrily leaving the house? We already heard that story from him 100 times. He never went into detail about why she left angrily, but I always assumed it was because they got into a fight and that is when he first accused her of rape. I always assumed she said that sarcastically in response to his accusation.

- Sarah made it clear the documentary had her sign a contract of silence so she could not "legally" reveal how much the fraud #MeToo'ers were compensated to be involved.

I don’t think she would know how much other people were paid? I don’t believe she is in personal contact with Shiloh or Regina and I don’t think Discovery would disclose details of their contracts with other participants.

Since Sarah falls under “fraud #MeToo'ers” in James’ perspective, this makes me think she stopped him questioning how much she was paid. Now that I think about it that way,  he may have been taking the “down payment on a house” quote out of context. She may have been giving him an update on her life. He did says she “now has enough money” to do so, but didn’t specify that was because of the documentary.

- Sarah stated she truly hates both Shiloh & Regina (the other fake #MeToo'ers)

We already know this. Sarah and the other victims publicly cut ties with Shiloh and Regina because they chose to stick with Chris Hansen and participate in the documentary. The other victims wanted to stand together and not participate to try to prevent the documentary from happening.

- Sarah admitted Regina & Shiloh are frauds.

If she did, he’s not specifying what was allegedly fraudulent. The way he says “admitted” makes me think he talked about a specific incident and asked her if she agreed it was fraudulent. Like, Shiloh’s tattoo fund or something.

If she admitted she believed Shiloh and Regina were lying about their accusations, he definitely would have said that and not this vague shit.

- Sarah admits she herself intentionally mislead people to make Onision look bad.

Lmao as if she needed to strategically mislead people in order to make him look bad because he was so gosh darn innocent in this whole situation. I definitely believe he lead her into agreeing that she was misleading about one thing that made him look bad and he is using that to justify this broad statement.

- Sarah again admits she was kicked out of Onision's life for comitting a crime against Onision.

He’s just repeating himself. This is the same point as the alleged rape apology.

- Sarah admits she blatantly went out of her way to silence Onision/prevent interviews from happening so he could not deliver facts/evidence.

We already knew about this. Chris Hansen said he decided to drop negotiating an interview with James because the victims asked him not to do it.

This did not “silence” him. He went on plenty of other interviews.

- Sarah admits the laptop she had and mislead people about, in fact had nothing on it.

I am imagining two possibilities:

1. It’s possible James was misleading with his question and asked if there was something specific that he already knew was not on there, like photos of himself or photos of minors.

2. Sarah also sent a cell phone to Chris Hansen and Vincent. Perhaps the internet got mixed up and hyper focused on the laptop when it was really the cell phone that contained the damning nudes Kai sent to Sarah as a minor.

- Sarah admits she only turned her laptop in because the internet pressured her to. Confirming she defrauded countless people to replace the laptop via GoFundMe, not revealing to them the laptop she turned in had nothing on it.

I don’t believe the internet pressured her into originally sending the laptop to Chris Hansen / Vincent. I believe she did it to help the investigation. When she found out it was never given to the FBI months later, she seemed extremely upset.

After she got it back, that is when she noticeably hesitated on what to do with the laptop. People on the internet definitely pressured her into doing something with it before she was ready. Her being pressured into handing in the laptop to the FBI does not prove there was nothing on it. She most likely hesitated because either she did not want to deal with it / needed a break or she did not know who to trust with it.

Sarah was not the one who made the GoFundMe, it was Shiloh. The description said she needed a new laptop while the FBI had it for an investigation. That was true.

I’ve seen the argument that Sarah asking for funds for a laptop was fraudulent because she was fine without one while Vincent had it. Looking back, Vincent told her he was going to remove the hard drive, send the hard drive to the FBI, give the laptop a new one, and send her laptop back. I know during this time she was borrowing a friend’s laptop. This makes sense to me. She was borrowing because she thought it would be temporary. Once she officially handed it over herself to the FBI, she no longer had access to one and needed one for school.

(Washington state law prevents phone conversations being recorded without both parties consenting, Sarah was very concerned the conversation was being recorded, repeatedly asking if she was being recorded - as usual, Onision told the truth, he recorded nothing)

I’ve seen a lot of people talk about ways he could have gotten around this law or legal ways he could have proven this conversation happened. At the very least, he could have taken a screen shot of his call logs to show the date and how long he was on the phone for.

I think it’s worth noting he has recorded people over the phone without their consent in the past. Like Shiloh’s manager and Madison.

I’m not saying he’s outright lying about the call, but I don’t understand why he expected the internet to believe some vague bullet points about a phone call no one knew about about until he randomly made a page on his site for it a whole month after the call took place.

Tl;dr - He’s being way too vague. I believe he is taking a lot of the conversation out of context and manipulatively lead her into answering yes or no questions that would make it look like she’s admitting to the thing he’s accused her of and denounced her past accusations against him.

[smartguyreviewed]

1x2 - Brother, Brother

Original air date: April 9, 1997

The “switcheroo” plot is one of the many television tropes that grinds my gears because it is so tired. Nothing annoys me more than a character (usually male) with shitty communication skills who would rather pretend to be two people than simply reschedule. Or a character so indecisive that they can’t even pick a life. 

Anyways, this is the show’s crossover episode. Tahj guest starred in Sister, Sister. Now his twin sisters are doing the same, but in their younger brother’s show! The twins are there to give Marcus something to lust over while TJ’s brain is being appreciated.

Marcus is in the principal’s office trying to switch classes because his teacher is boring although he’s halfway through the semester. Suddenly, Tia Mowry walks in, excited to be joining the class he’s trying to leave. Marcus shoots his shot and succeeds, then starts doing his “happy dance.” Meanwhile, TJ’s brain is being picked apart by Principal Dowling, who needs help understanding how to hook up the school’s internet. Clearly, they have no IT department, or even one or two guys working freelance. But then again, they also don’t have AP classes, so i guess I shoudn’t be shocked.

After Marcus scores the digits, we cut to Floyd at home being greeted by two white men in suits with briefcases. He assumes TJ is in trouble when they ask for him and when one of the cops guys asks why he thinks that, Floyd brilliantly replies, “Two white guys show up at my door in FBI suits, what am I supposed to think?” Loved that line. This show was so unapologetically black.

Luckily, no Fred Hampton situation happens here. They just wanna talk to TJ! However, instead of greeting this obviously gifted black kid the way they would greet a gifted white kid, they resort to the painfully cringeworthy attempt to relate to him by trying to seem “hip” with their watered down Ebonics. “You got a phat crib here, mah man!” TJ’s expression sums it up perfectly.

Floyd walks away from secondhand embarassment. 

TJ, a ten year old black kid from Washington, D.C. is schooling these grown men about internet mumbo jumbo when Kenya Moore shows up. No, seriously.

Floyd begins acting like his son, letting the whole world know that this woman is making all the blood rush to his penis. But Kenya is not there to be their stepmom. She’s there to persuade TJ to work for their company and bribes him with a bigger hard drive so that he can play a computer game. Floyd already knows where this is going.

TJ runs into both sisters the next day at school, meeting the brainier sister in a 70s getup. See, she’s smart because she dresses anachronistically, reads Tolstoy for leisure and wears glasses. Marcus and Mo, now besties, approach the other twin and proceed to make her uncomfortable. Okay, Mo mostly does that, but she accepts it from Marcus because she likes him. Marcus even shoos Mo away from shooting his shot by telling him that someone was leaning on his Pinto. Mo is not letting anyone fuck up his $300 death trap. He takes off. 

Marcus sets a date with Tamera and becomes conflicted because he wants both of them. To do this, he tells Tamera that he is a twin. Thusly, Marcus begat Marquise, who is Marcus if he wore a lace front goatee and a beret. Blah blah, Marcus is manipulating women by pretending to be “deep” and TJ is under the table playing Cyrano, blah. This is honestly one of the few episodes of Smart Guy that I don’t like to rewatch.

After successfully playing the twins, one of them comes back because they desperately want the D. The other one joins because she too, wants the D and they start fighting, recalling childhood infractions. I think this is how Tia and Tamera actually argue. When Marcus reveals that Marquise doesn’t exist, the girls make up because regular degular Marcus is not what they wanted. He’s actually upset by this. Who knew that pretending to be someone you’re not to date two different people could have negative consequences?

Mr. Henderson and Principal Dowling force TJ to choose a company after he continues to accept more bribes. He mentions the other company just gave him a keychain that turns out to be keys to a Jag. Floyd then throws out all of the wisdom he was trying to teach TJ, tells him to accept the company’s offer and high-fives the principal. I love that even Floyd can’t turn down free shit. 

Stuff I noticed:

- Marcus was hinting at a threesome.

- Marcus’s lace front goatee, brought to you by Tyler Perry Studios.

[fletchermarple]

Quick Review of the True Crime Books I Read in 2019 (Part 1)

Review of Books in 2018 Part 1 and Part 2

Review of books in 2017 Part 1 and Part 2

Review of books in 2016 Part 1 and Part 2

Review of books in 2015

Reasonable Doubt by Steve Vogel: One of the best titles I read this year was this very thorough account of the Hendricks murders, a mother and her three kids who were butchered with an ax and a knife in their home in Illinois in 1983. The husband and father, David Hendricks, was sent to prison but acquitted in a second trial seven years later, because there really wasn’t any concrete evidence against him other than a dubious motive. Vogel is one of the journalists that covered the case from the first day and he does a great job of going deep into the investigation and the trial, and also into who David Hendricks and the victims were. I’ve seen people comment that this book takes you to the jury box and I think that’s an accurate description, because you’re constantly weighing the evidence and trying to come up with a fair verdict. Vogel eventually reached the conclusion that Hendricks wasn’t guilty (at least in the legal sense) but he tried his best to portray all the evidence as fairly and balanced as possible, letting the readers come up with our own conclusions.

Wrecking Crew by John Ferak: This book is a slightly more in depth retelling of what you saw in the second season of Making a Murderer and a completely unnecessary read, in my opinion, unless you’re a die hard fan of defense lawyer Kathleen Zellner or are so convinced of Steven Avery’s innocence that you just want to read all over again why the police and the state of Wisconsin have screwed him over endlessly. My problem with this book is that I don’t feel it even tries to be a nuanced portrayal and investigation. The author is clearly set on showing what a corrupt system surrounds the whole Avery case, but at times it really seems like it’s just Zellner talking through him instead of it being an independent analysis, so I really struggled with its credibility. And I’m one of those that think the Avery case is very messed up, can’t imagine anyone who is convinced of his guilt enjoying this.

Obsession by John Douglas and Mark Olshaker: As always, former FBI profiling pioneer John Douglas offers a great selection of chilling cases with poignant and intriguing analysis, in this case focusing on crimes against women that involve stalking and rape. It’s not his best book and it feels a little dated at moments, since it was published in 1998 and for example the whole first section of the book talks about some unidentified serial killer in Wichita that we now know it’s Dennis Rader. Douglas also does something I haven’t seen in other books of his, and includes quotes and opinions from other people: one of them is Linda Fairstein, who maybe at the time of this writing was some champion of women’s rights but now we are aware of her unethical actions in the Central Park Five case and her connections to rapist Harvey Weinstein, so eww. There’s also a large section about a victim advocacy group and some of their recommendations and while it’s important information it kind of drags and, again, feels very dated in this day and age.

Murder in the Stacks by David DeDok: The case in itself is certainly interesting: this book covers the murder of  Betsy Aardsma, who was stabbed in the middle of Penn State’s library in 1969, and to this day no one has been convicted for it. Investigative journalist David DeKok goes pretty deep into Betsy’s life and in his own theory of who killed her, exploring the alleged culprit’s life as well (and boy is he a piece of work). It’s always both thrilling and complex to read a non fiction book claiming a version as an absolute truth, but I’ll say that DeDok certainly makes a good case to support his claims. That being said, Murder in the Stacks wasn’t the most compelling read in terms of narrative and I’ve already forgotten big chunks of it so I’m not sure if that’s very promising.

Cold Kill by Jack Olsen: Jack Olsen is one of the better respected true crime authors, even though reading his books you’ll often think you’re actually reading fiction. His writing style, which I can only assume comes from thorough and rigorous investigation, is getting in the minds of the people involved in the crimes, in this case, one of the killers, so by the time the crime actually happens you’re deeply invested in these people and everything is more impactful. Cold Kill tells the story of David West, a guy with some serious issues and conceptions about women and life, and how his toxic relationship with a woman named Cindy Ray Campbell (who at times makes Karla Homolka seem saintly) led to the murder of two people for no good reason other tan greed and stupidity. It’s a very well written book and the case in itself is both sad and fascinating. Recommended.

Targeted by M. William Phelps: I was thoroughly confused by this book and the author’s intentions. It is presented as an “excellent piece of journalistic investigation” into Tracy Forlson, a sheriff’s deputy who was convicted for murdering her boyfriend but she claims she was framed because she was accusing her department of sexual harassment. The summary of the book will tell you that it will “lead to questions about her guilt”, but to me at least that wasn’t true. This book more seemed like a personal vendetta of Phelps against Forlson because, as he says through the story, he felt she was trying to manipulate him and his ego couldn’t handle it. It’s a weird, ranting book with large sections of his interactions with Tracy and constantly repeating that she’s a CONVICTED MURDERER and how dare she tell him this or that, all after another ranting prologue of Phelps whining about the reputation of true crime authors. I finished the novel not coming even close to doubting Tracy’s guilt and pretty annoyed with Phelp’s defensiveness and arrogance.

A Clockwork Murder by Steve Jackson: Steve Jackson is very good at bringing to life lesser known crimes, which is kind of surprising because the crimes he writes about are often horrific. In this case, the book covers the abduction and murder of Jacine Galinski in 1997, although it mostly tells the story of the two killers, George Woldt and Lucas Salmon, a pair of despicable, sick human beings who you get to know more than you’d like to through Jackson’s compelling narrative. Can’t say it will be a book you’ll never forget but it’s certainly worth the read if you’re interested in the workings of criminal minds.

Precious Victims by Charles Bosworth Jr. and Don Weber: I quite enjoyed Silent Witness, another collaboration between Bosworth and prosecutor Don Weber. This book is not as twisty or compelling as that one but it is about a more well known crime, and the one that really jump started Weber’s career. In 1986, Paula Sims reported that her newborn daughter Lorelai had been kidnapped by an armed man. Her body was found some time after in the woods behind her home. Then in 1989 lightning struck twice and Paula again called police to say that her newborn daughter, Heather, had been kidnapped as well (by now she was living in a different place and had another son). Heather’s body was found in the garbage can of a park. With no real evidence of kidnapping and such a ludicrous story, Paula was eventually convicted of murder and is currently still in prison, where she eventually confessed to both killings. In November 2019 she asked for a new trial, claiming that she suffered from postpartum psychosis, but if you read this book you’ll doubt that’s true. Remember this was written by the prosecutor, and the theory presented here is that neither Paula nor her husband Robert (who was pretty shady but never got formally accused of anything) wanted girls and that’s why she got rid of them. You can expect a fairly awful portrayal of Paula here, as a woman who rarely showed (or felt) any emotion. Still, the book is quite interesting, especially during the trial process.