#But that's nothing new. Why are we inventing new ways to be an asshole?

[kennys-parka-jacket]

I feel like Randy in Cripple Fight.

New gen fan: This playlist sucks. Stan would not listen to Car Seat Headrest

Me: What did you say?

New gen fan: I just... said OP's playlist sucks. Because it's out of character.

Me: You do not say "This playlist sucks"! You tell OP that you hate their ship like a normal fandom goer!

New gen fan: But kennys-parka-jaket, I was just trying to-

Me: You tell OP that you hate their favorite ship this instant!

New gen fan: I... hate your ship?

Me: That's better

OP: Don't say you hate my ship you son of a bitch

It's still wild to me that character playlists are actually a form of discourse that people get into nowadays. I swear to god i have never seen anyone care about this before 2020. That just did not exist until a few years ago. Everyone who seriously gets heated about someone's blorbo mixtape on spotify just popped out of the ground like a vegetable some time after 2021 and has been roaming the internet in search of something pointless to argue about ever since

[neyteamo]

RSC - Garrick Tavis

pairing: garrick x reader

warnings: onyx storm spoiler (garrick’s signet)

summary: your squad just finished the first rsc assessment and when you go back to your room, beaten and tired, you find an unexpected surprise there

notes: for context - READER IS A DISTANCE WIELDER, set during iron flame but with onyx storm info (if that makes sense)

Sawyer and I walk through the hallway, slowly trying to get to our dorms, these crutches are going to be the death of me. Fucking RSC, whoever invented it was a sadistic fucker. The rest of the squad is probably sleeping by now, but Sawyer stayed with me while I literally begged the healer back at the infirmary to get me up Nolon’s list for mending. I don’t really care about the bruised ribs or the cuts and bruises on my face, but what the fuck am I supposed to do around here with a messed up knee and crutches? After telling her, again, that there’s no way I can mount my dragon, train, or do literally any of the things I HAVE to do around here, she agreed to letting me come first thing the next morning, so a win is a win, I guess.

“You sure you don’t need anything else?” Sawyer asks as we reach my door, his face also bearing different shades of purple from the beatings.

“I’m okay, thank you, S, get some rest, i’ll see you tomorrow” He brushes my arm and goes to his own room.

I open my door and lean against it once i’m inside, gods i missed my bed, i could-

“Hey there” someone says from the chair next to the bed, I gasp and my crutches fall as I go to get one of my daggers, when I realise whose voice that was.

“Garrick, you asshole, what are you doing here? You scared me half to death” I try and grab my crutches back as he makes his way to me, but I just don’t care about them, so I stand next to the door and wait for the beautiful man to get here, gods it’s good to see him.

“Is that how you greet your loving boyfriend whom you haven’t seen in weeks?” He puts his arms around me and for the first time in days, I feel safe, I inhale the scent of him and hold him close “Xaden told me they took you guys, so I got someone to cover my shift and came here, I can only stay for a little while though before they notice” He helps me to my bed and lowers himself in front of me.

“He sent you here to check on Violet?” I smile and run my fingers through his hair, I missed him so damn much I suddenly dont care about the pain on my knee, or the fact that we just spent two days in a literal torture chamber, he´s here.

“Xaden didn't send me, he told me ‘cause he knew I would want to see you, and yes probably wants me to come back with news about Violet, but I came here to take care of my girl. Are you alright? Why are you using crutches?” He caresses my arms and looks at me with an intensity that nearly makes me cry.

“Because they fucking dislocated my knee, I’m guessing so I couldnt wield and get us out of there, which worked, by the way” He sits next to me on the bed and I turn to look at him, his soothing touch on my arm at odds with the anger that runs through his face “Though it’s nothing compared to the way Varrish almost killed Violet, she’s good now though, Nolon had to mend her right then and there, so we escaped before it could get worse, it was pretty badass even if I was miserably useless”

He caresses my face and gives me a little side smile “I don't think you could ever be useless, I'm sorry you went through that, it's always shit, but a dislocated knee is too much, guess they don't like you guys very much”

“You think? Gods Varrish is such a dick, and this was only an assessment, so yeah, fun times ahead” I say with a sarcastic smile and a thumbs up

“Are you hurting anywhere else” he asks as he studies the cuts on my face

“My ribs are a bit of trouble but the healer said theyre not broken and it should get better in a few days, I’m mostly annoyed at the crutches to be honest, those things are uncomfortable as fuck and it’s really hard to train my signet when I can’t land without fucking up my knee even more, but hopefully Nolon will mend it tomorrow and the nightmare will be over, for now at least” I try to get up and go get my sleeping clothes, thankfully im already showered but I didnt have anything else with me to wear so… disgusting.

“What are you doing?” he says, coming up behind me and grabbing my waist when I struggle jumping on one foot.

“I'm changing my clothes, I can't stand these anymore” He lifts me up and gets me back on the bed “Hey! What are you doing?? I can get them myself”

“I told you I'm here to take care of you, just stay there and I'll get your clothes. You can barely walk like that, it's embarrassing to watch” He says jokingly and laughs when I throw a pillow at him, then starts going through my armoire, he gets one of his shirts and sleeping pants I stole from him and helps me put them on.

“My knight in shining armor” I say smiling and he rolls his eyes as I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. We settle into the bed together and he holds me against his chest, we just stay like that for a while. Since he graduated and went to Samara we’ve barely seen each other, and it's too busy there for him to disappear and according to Garrick too dangerous for me to go without leave or any idea of what's going on there. I did it a few times though, but he was mostly on patrol and we only got like three hours together at most. The longest we've seen each other since July was a few weeks ago when I narked leadership so much for weeks on end that they actually ended up giving me leave to go there for a weekend. So the fact that he's here right now, laying in bed with me, feeling his warmth so close to me makes me tear up. Things have been so weird here at Basgiath lately; the marked ones are being weirdly watched, there's been suspicious attacks to those who were with Riorson at Resson, Sloane looks like she’s not even trying to survive, and Violet is hiding something from us, so everything is so fucking tense all the time. Doesn't matter how many times I ask Garrick to tell me, he insists it's too dangerous for me to know, and will only say that something bad is going on outside the borders, ordered me to strengthen my shields and gave me a weird dagger to keep hidden and close, I try not to push the matter too much, even if it’s killing me not to know or do something about it, I know he's doing what he thinks best, therefore I do my best to just trust him and don't waste the little time we have together arguing about it, even as hard as it is sometimes. Apart from all of those overwhelming situations, Carr has been really pushing my limits with my training and I’m just so fucking tired all the time, and the RSC shit was the last straw, so even if I try to hold them, the tears start falling. But even with all of that shit going on and whatever feelings I have about it, Garrick is here, now, and suddenly nothing else matters, because the man I love risked exposing his signet to be with me because he knew i needed him, he's so damn perfect it makes the tears come faster.

I somehow hold him even closer, flushing our bodies as close as physically possible “Garrick?”

“Yes, baby?” He looks down at me and must notice I'm crying because he turns my face to make me look at him and his face shifts in concern “Hey, what's wrong?” Gods he’s so fucking beautiful I literally cry, what did I do to deserve him?

“I love you, thank you for being here, I don't think I realised how much I needed you” His eyes soften with understanding and brings his mouth to meet mine, and kisses me slowly, deeply, saying everything without even having to speak. This was all I was ever going to need, and no matter what happened out there, we would always have each other.

“I will always be there for you, you are my whole life, I can’t wait ‘till you graduate and we start the rest of our lives together” he kisses me softly and smiles “Let’s get you to sleep, you need the rest, I love you”. We hold each other close and I fall asleep with him next to me, and even though he won't be here in the morning, he gives me the strength I need to keep going on.

[pixiecactus]

If George had a big brain like me, he would let Arya marry 3 times throughout her life like Nymeria Ny Sar. First she marries Jon and will have the classic Stark-looking children that George loves so much, thus fulfilling his original OTP dream, then she marries Gendry (maybe she will have more children too!) and finally she goes to Dorne and marries Ned Dayne, after her children are older and ready to take over. She would live a long life full of love and adventures. Now, I need to kidnap their editors to make that happen

this is the first time i'm hearing about nymeria and her three husbands, and this is the first time i've seen someone bring them up as a headcanon for arya to follow, i'm honestly impressed nonnie!!

i like the idea; i really do, but i've the littlest problem with it, personally speaking. after jon comes back from being dead, i just can't see him being able to have children. like if i remember correctly, in game of thrones the only thing that jon got to show that he came back from the dead was a few more scars, and that's it; there weren't any consequences at all (the dude died, ffs; he stopped being alive and human, and surely that changes your physiological processes and responses, no shit!) that's why it is very hard for me to believe that it is going to be the same in the books, so in my opinion, jon should be arya's last husband. the one she doesn't have children with, but the one that she stays with until her time comes, and in that way we have the "soulmates" aspect of jonrya tackled.

continuing with my opinion about your headcanon, i think that arya first husband should be edric dayne, i've to admit that in my own mind (because i can't write fics at all) i've played with the idea that when arya reunites with the brotherhood without banners, she asks for him, with the proposition in mind of a betrothal between them.

it's just that i like gendry's irrational jealousy, and it's irrational in my opinion, because, yeah, from a societal standpoint, edric dayne is obviously the one that is better suited for arya in a romantic context, but the only thing we saw in the books during that time was sweet and shy little ned trying to make a new friend, nothing less and nothing more, and gendry is behaving like the biggest asshole all around to him, and edric dayne did nothing to deserve it.

so i played with that idea in my head because i wanted to recreate gendry's irrational jealousy, because it was really plotless now that i think about it. the obvious answer was that arya was looking for alliances and armed men that house dayne could provide. what for exactly? i don't remember, and i failed to consider that we have fake!arya married to ramsay bolton, and we have an elmar frey on the loose (?) crying for his princess and their broken betrothal... so maybe arya realized that she couldn't escape marriage since she wasn't even in westeros for the damned thing to happen to her, so arya decided to take things into her own hands and choose herself who is going to be her husband.

so with all of that said, yeah, i think that ned dayne should be the first husband of arya stark, and i don't think that his genes would overrule the stark look from taking place in their children. (i know that house dayne has something with their eyes, but let's ignore it for my sake, please)

anyway ned dayne dies (sorry to my nedryas!) leaving arya behind with some children, and now arya as a newly widowed lady that already has offspring, i can see that giving her the opportunity of getting married to a landless knight (gendry!) without a lot of fuss... and maybe arya and gendry have children; maybe they don't. i've a preference for gendrya taking orphans from the wars under their wing and giving them parental guidance (aka gendrya invents adoption in westeros) i forgot to say that i see this happening after the nedrya children are already grown, because when you have a lot of children, consecutively, i tend to believe that they fall in a scale of neglect; you absolutely can't care for and support all children equally if you have a lot of them, like what we have with rickon, the poor boy is even neglected by the author.

okay, so gendry has to die too; again, i see this happening after their children are grown up, so arya has a "coming back home" moment, and that home is jon's arms.

i hope you're okay with me bastardizing your headcanon, nonnie; also, i want to ask, did you make ned dayne the last husband, because nymeria's last husband was a dayne too?

also thank you for sending me this; it was a lot of fun! and sorry that it took me one month and one day to answer.

(this has nothing to do with asoiaf, but i remember reading a book series during my teen years about the typical love triangle, you know, one girl and two boys, and how she can't choose because she loves both and how they ended up doing something like girl will stay in a relationship with boy a until his death and then she will start a relationship with boy b, because both of them are inmortals and if i remember correctly boy a was bi too, i just say this because now looking back i think that they should have been a throuple, but boy b being straight really fucked that up, which is crazy because i think that was a lot of queerbaiting between the boys too)

[overwhelmed-transpolymath]

So I've recently fallen back into an intense desire to play Fallout again, specifically Fallout 4. But as a student of history and an archaelogist I've got some gripes to air. Now people have done to death the poor writing, the entire existence of the assault rifle (WHY DOES IT EXIST AHHHH) and the sheer absurdity of some of the games design choices.

That's not what I'm talking about today however. Today I'm going to be talking about humans and what humans do. Why? Because the settlers and people of the commonwealth aren't human. Humanity, throughout our entire history, including our homonid cousins have been pretty clever. We know how disease spreads, we know how to build structures, we know what to do with trash.

Yet for some inexplicable reason, the people of the commonwealth don't know what to do, and that includes groups who ought to know better like the Railroad or Brotherhood. Humans have long had ways to dispose of trash, and infact when we look at the archeological record most of what I study is garbage, indeed there's an entire sub field invented by the absolute legend, and aptly named Lewis Binford, garbolagy.

So when we look at the commonwealth settlements, yes they don't have advanced smelters, or recycling plants that makes sense. But where are their middens? Where are there burn pits? Why don't they pick up the trash in their streets as homes? Whenever I play Fallout 4 these questions haunt me because, if you look at any ancient or prehistoric civilization they use middens, they bury their garbage (for us future tomb robbers to find) or they burn it. They don't fucking live with it.

Now why don't people live with their garbage and waste? It's obvious for all of us, disease spreads and kills people, especially in a society that will be short on medicine. Prevention is ideal, a fine example of this lies in the Aztecs who established a fine system for collecting human waste and using it to fertilize their fields which is why they could support the absolutely massive population of Tenochtitlan and keep it's 200 000 residents plague free (until a certain disgraced asshole arrived).

So my question, why aren't wasteland people doing this? If Piper can keep a printing press running in Diamond City there's no reason they have lost all their knowledge of basic hygiene and sanitation. While we're on the subject of knowledge, did the commonwealth forgot what nails are, or rivets? It's been 210 years since the bombs dropped and yet we still see houses neatly constructed of piles of random garbage, where are the rough hewn stoneworks, or plank cabins, hell in a place like Diamond City where is the concrete we can find bags of it everywhere but no one else seems to use it.

And here's the thing Massachusetts is cold wet and rainy. That sheet metal shack is not going to keep you dry, and in winter you're going to freeze to death. People should be building log cabins not sheet shacks. If you're going to say they lack the knowledge no they don't. See complicated printing press. The Norse, my culture of personal study, didn't just raid and build nothing the most common metal artifact we have from them isn't swords it's rivets. In their boats, houses and tools so much so that there are people who take masters in study them.

So why the rant? Because this sort of stuff isn't hard to get right. In Fallout 1 and 2 which my dad forced me to play before I could play my shiny new copy of 3 back in the day (thanks dad) people don't build from junk, bar junktown which is the exception not the rule. They build adobe style, or in 2 they construct from wood and tents if tribal and build actual industrializing nations in the case of the NCR. Now why aren't I criticizing 3 for the same problem? Simple DC and Boston are very different targets, DC being and absolute nightmare makes sense but why is Boston the same.

Long rant short, the humans of the commonwealth very clearly aren't acting like humans gave for thousands of years and it regularly breaks my mind.

[notmorbid]

the great believers, pt. 2.

dialogue prompts from the great believers by rebecca makkai.

i need your help with something.

you survived. you're still here.

i don't know how much i can tell you.

you did the best you could.

you can call it a cult. that's what it is.

how does being in love mean you have to join a cult?

what do you think that does to a person?

why does it hurt so much if it isn't true?

you want to leave me your number? i can promise i'll call you if anything happens.

i can tell you're a good ___.

if you're going to be miserable, you can be miserable anywhere.

i'm not sure i remember how to flirt.

i just needed somewhere to go.

you either need more booze or less.

i want to hate you, but i can't.

you can come to my place, okay?

where are you staying? are you alright?

when you're going to lose someone, it puts things in a new light.

you have to take care of the people you love.

you must be a better person than i am.

i could have told you. i would have told you.

is it news i want to hear?

i don't consider myself a mother anymore. there was a season for that, and the season is done.

it would be easier to hate you if you were an asshole.

i want to do the opposite of everything i've ever done.

do you want me to stay or go?

i don't know how you could compare it to anything else.

the best we can hope for is good scarring.

you can't tell anyone where i am, okay?

i hate being pitied. i wish you'd just be mad at me.

no one's willing to be mad at me but god.

how are you? i've heard contradictory rumors.

there's something so alone about you.

let's just say we're family now. we call each other when we're sad. i'll get you a birthday present and everything.

you have time. you don't have to solve it all at once.

i need to know that you're okay.

i know you're fine. i can tell.

nobody's even listening. everybody's so tired of listening.

you're never reasonable when you're in love.

do you have a strong stomach?

all stories end the same way, don't they?

people take their reasons with them, don't they?

where is all that love supposed to go?

do you believe in reincarnation?

things might seem different in the morning.

are you being ironic with me? i can never tell.

does it really ever go anywhere? love?

i think that's the saddest thing in the world: the failure of love. not hatred, but the failure of love.

should i be insulted that you never talk about me?

i really did try to find you.

leaving is one of my greatest regrets, i want you to know.

if you're asking how i'm still alive, i have no idea.

i was so sure i was ready to die.

for a long time i wondered if i was a ghost. a literal ghost.

i thought you'd be the one to talk some sense into me.

you're supposed to be my most sensible friend.

i'm too angry to be afraid.

say something. what are you feeling?

just go back to sleep, okay?

why do you think we met? i mean, cosmically?

nothing's random. it can't be.

i was born to fight. i was born angry.

if i didn't have you, i'd have to invent you.

i don't care. i'd do it all again.

trauma isn't always the best glue.

rescue me from my family.

do you have everything you need?

i left, and you just kept on going.

we're in the same place now. that's a miracle.

i didn't remember you being so smart.

i hate that i'm putting you through this again.

you think i'm shellshocked?

it'll be okay. i can tell it will.

but what a burden to be the one with the memory.

things can be written over, but never erased.

i don't know if we were ever that happy again.

i keep waiting to find out it's a joke.

i'd forgotten where i was.

[itsblasttothepast]

Before I send you a new take on rumours, can I say what annoyed me in this race? (you can ignore this part) Sergio had a bad start and said he had no grip on the tyres. Bird's response: "It'll come to you later" (okay, standard response but why wouldn't you tell him something about the tyres to calm him down?). Then when the rain got worse (after the red flag) Checo had to ask Bird to keep telling him the gaps between himself and other drivers because he couldn't see - it made me angry becasue isn't that the engineer's job in the first place? Bird is not talking to Sergio, he is not responding to the questions and that's just unbelieveable (I understand that he could be tired after the triple header but this keeps on happening every race and I just can't find any more excuses for this guy) - BRING WOODY BACK Okay and now since the poison is out I can go for the rumours (I agree with you, we need to go crazier if we want to match the reality): The Markoner (I'm stealing the name) marriage: They will use the drama as a game to go back to their honeymoon phase ad restore the love they lost along the way, they will bring more drivers to destroy since this is the only hobby they share - they are looking for fresh meat because Sergio is taking to long to break and they need their daily dose of killed hopes and dream to function; Or they will keep pushing the 'they have the same car' agenda when we know for a fact now it isn't true, Sergio won't get any upgrades and will start driving a car made of cardboard and gum with one (1) RBR sticker on it and they'll still be saying it's the same car - they'll keep feeding the media to make Checo's life unbearable and then they will say they let him go because of 'taking care of their driver's mental health'; Separatly, I think Horner will say Lewis's signing with Ferrari was all a ploy to get him into RBR and in fact he will be driving for the team next year and Helmut will go back to saying Liam is their best option - and he will completly forget about Yuki for real, he will be surprised to see him in the paddock at all; Since Jos was there today I feel obligated to add him: He will do another 180' and start saying shit about Sergio again, claiming that Max doesn't need anyone in the second seat to keep winning and RBR will agree OR he will get even nicer than he was last week and hell will freeze over and world will end; And finally the media (and fandom in this one): They already did the goodbye party for Sergio so I'm not sure what can be even more wild (since he still has a contract and nothing was confirmed) but I'll try - All the sponsors will leave Checo and start supporting Franco (because for now he's the SkySport's sweetheart) and they will try to find ANY interaction Franco has with anyone to prove their theory. OR they will just keep on asking the same questions to Sergio and Max and RBR will end up with no drivers becasue the bulls will got to prison for beating up the journalists.

Oh, don't worry, I completely share thi sentiment as well, since the fucked up qualy, and what happened the first sprint race... it's like Bird it's saying 'I'm back to ruin you', and RBR it's allowing it. I'm glad Checo said something, but even then he's painted like the bad guy, 'oh, he lost his cool, he yelled at his poor engineer'... 🤦, we need Woody!

Also, taking advantage of this rant space, I'm also adding my own: RBR gaslighting Checo so bad. Marko and Horner saying 'we change his chasis because he complained about it, just to give him confidence'... what? They are acting like Checo is inventing all these problems, when they ducktaped his car and the brakes don't work since I don't know how many races before this one. They are honestly stepping up in their mind games and I fear for Checo's sanity at this point.

All right, back to our game, reality continues to surprass us with the rumors, but my take with Markoner (ft. Jos Verstappen who is back into asshole mode and said Liam would be a great teammate for Max) is that they are talking to Williams to play lottery seats. Williams needs money, that's not a secret. So RBR is asking for a driver swap and Checo goes to Williams, and.... Franco or Carlos, still debating this one, will go to RBR. Then to make Yuki better for keep ignoring him to be promoted, they let him believe his time will come... forever and ever.

Hey, you called it! Papa Verstappen is back saying shit against Checo and being a fan of Lawson, saying he would be an excellent teammate for Max.

Hey, here I have to take a break and ask you... why do you think Marko and Jos say nice things about Checo and then get back to the hate program? Do you think someone is calling the shots and telling them to back off sometimes? I can't come up a rumor for this one.

Oh yes, the fandom is already retiring Checo and being all nasty about it. But my take is that now they will say Franco is taking everything Checo has: his seat, his team, his sponsors, his wife and children... hell, maybe even his dog.

You know? Call me delusional, but when the reporters asked Max if he would be happy with Franco as his new teammate as the press is saying, I could swear Max looked sad. His answer was very neutral, but his eyes... I saw sadness there. I just hope that the little reunion they had today (Horner, Marko, Jos and Max) wasn't a ploy to see how to fire Checo.

And hey, if they fire him, I hope it cost them dearly, so much that they can't recover in a while (sorry, I'm petty).

[electronickingdomfox]

"Vulcan!" review

A novel by Kathleen Sky, from 1978. This one was bad, bad, BAD. I'd say it's the worst I've read so far, and I really hope it doesn't get any worse than this. The characters, in particular Spock and McCoy, are sometimes unrecognizable, the barebones plot barely makes any sense, and the (self-insert?) character is really unlikable. At least it's short, so through sheer masochism willpower, I got to read it in record time, to forget it as soon as possible.

Spoilers under the cut:

The Romulan border is shifting, since the magnetic fields that determine the Neutral Zone are being affected by ion storms. Soon, the system of the planet Arachnae will fall under Romulan territory. I mean, it will be rightfully Romulan, simply because of the shifting nature of borders as they're defined. Is Starfleet going to accept this, just as the Romulans would have to accept a natural expansion of the Federation, if it came to happen? Nah! Prime Directive be damned! They send the Enterprise to investigate if there's intelligent life in Arachnae that may be worth to keep in the Federation. (And if there is, then what? Do they start a war? On what basis? Whatever.)

In order to determine if the Arachnae inhabitants (some sort of giant ants) are intelligent or not, they need the help of Dr. Mary Sue Katalya Tremain. A biologist who is so, so brilliant, that Starfleet invented new medals just for her, and whose intelligence surpasses even Spock's. As soon as they learn she's coming aboard, Spock and McCoy start competing for her affection (yes, Spock too) by filling her cabin with gifts and flowers and whatnot. But when she beams aboard, it turns out that Dr. Tremain is actually an insufferable bigot who hates Vulcans, and can't even work with them. She's also a major crybaby that resorts to faking hysteria whenever she can't get her way. One has to wonder why Starfleet even allows such a person to be part of its ranks (well, maybe the fact that she's sleeping with a Commodore explains why). We don't see much of her legendary brilliance either, but we learn that she has big boobs. And yes, this book was written by a woman. Obnoxious as she is, she's still a Mary Sue. So everyone has to turn a blind eye to behaviors that would be otherwise unacceptable, and make sure the little princess is comfortable. After all, there must be some good reason for this woman's bigotry (there isn't, but whatever), since she's too wonderful to simply being an asshole. McCoy gets into full "I'm a lover, not a doctor" mode right after seeing her. And five minutes later, he's hitting hard on her, though he seems more of a lecherous creep, rather than a charming, southern gentleman. Ah, yes, he helps her unpack her things, which gives him a chance to paw the sexy lingerie inside the luggage (didn't you know? sexy lingerie is fundamental when going to explore a giant ant planet).

The first half of the book is just a really boring Freudian psychoanalysis of Tremain, only to determine again that, yes, she hates Vulcans, for some undisclosed reason. Meanwhile, McCoy can't decide whether he wants to be professional or horny. He switches back and forth more times than I cared to count. Two days later, he's fallen completely in love with this horrible person who mistreats one of his best friends. Anyway, Tremain friend-zones him soon, so he gets nothing but a little kiss on the forehead. Not that I felt bad about him; McCoy is an asshole in this book.

The second half of the novel gets a bit better, as Spock and Tremain beam down to the planet to meet the Arachneans. McCoy misses the beam down because he was busy chasing after some alien cat in the veterinary section. Yes, the horniness made him stupid or something. So when the giant ants attack the landing party, a lot of people die, and they don't even have a doctor. Kirk can't beam them up because Romulans have appeared to claim the planet, and he can't lower the shields. And that's what Kirk does for the rest of the novel: absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, Tremain and Spock have to work together in order to survive, so she's marginally more professional now. It's Spock's turn to be stupid, though, as he starts to make lewd comments about her, and spying her while she undresses. The reason being!? I don't know, something about proving she hates Vulcans (yeah, I knew that already).

In the end, Spock is attacked by the poisonous ants. And he mind-melds with one, to discover they're not, in fact, intelligent, so it's okay to leave the planet to the Romulans. The mind-meld, however, leaves him insane, and believing he's one of the ants. To restore his sanity, Tremain has to mind-meld with Spock, which is probably the best scene in the book. Then, while exploring her subconscious, it's finally revealed why she hates Vulcans so much. The reason is... she felt an unrequited love for her former Vulcan captain (gasp! I wasn't expecting something like that, no, not at all). Kirk finally decides to do something, and lowers the shields to beam them up, before Spock dies of poisoning, Romulans or not withstanding. He could have done so hours ago, though, before so many people died. Sigh...

Spirk Meter: 2/10*. Kirk stands firmly on Spock's side against Tremain's bigotry, and he's the only one who doesn't tolerate any of her bullshit, just like Chapel (you know, the two persons who love Spock the most). There's also a line about McCoy liking Spock, but not in the same way that Kirk likes him. Though, on the other hand, Kirk's very stubborn about following Starfleet's orders, even if it costs Spock his life, so I don't know... Characterization is hardly coherent.

There may be some Spones too. Tremain says that she can't really love McCoy, because she doesn't feel for him all the things that McCoy feels for Spock, which in her opinion, is love (she's quick to clarify it's not the same kind of love, but still...). McCoy also becomes quite hysterical when Spock's dying on the planet, while Kirk keeps calm. Apart from this, Tremain (who hates Vulcans because of an unrequited crush on one) functions as some sort of placeholder for McCoy himself. It's insisted upon how alike they are, and how they share the same hobbies. Spock calls her "Doctor" all the time, and his banter with her reminds a lot to that with McCoy. In fact, when Spock is being a perv towards Tremain to anger her, he compares his enjoyment of it to the one he gets from riling McCoy. It's rather telling how the author is taking everything from Spock and McCoy's dynamic, while using a woman substitute as a no-homo screen.

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

[aita-blorbos]

(OOC NOTE: i am very sorry if i get something wrong. i'm new in this fandom. if i mess something up PLEASE don't laugh about it, just correct me once! if someone corrected a mistake i made, please don't correct it again! it'll embarrass me quite a lot..... with that out of the way here's the aita)

aita for wanting to make a better world for myself?

i (8M) grew up in a heartless city. i had to endure so much bullying in this place just because i was slightly different. eventually i, with my talent for inventing, created a machine that would help me fend against anyone trying to hurt me. i later decided to make base in the tunnels so nobody could bother me.

well, that all changed recently when this weird guy (15M) who we'll call H came along. he came into my lab even though it has a code that only i know and then acted like we were friends even though i have no friends. then he gave me a nickname to do with what makes me so different. this really annoyed me, i thought he was trying to pick on me just like they did so i attacked him.

however, during the fight, H saved me from getting hit my a train. i then "realized" he wasn't trying to hurt me after all. although he's still really weird because somehow, he knew about the bullying but he said he came and saved me from it, which is downright wrong. nobody saved me.

we grew closer and i ended up discovering some things about why this is all happening. i'm not the only me, but the other "me"s are nothing like me. it's stupid, really. there's several different dimensions. according to H they're shattered versions of his own which is strange.

H really wanted to restore his own universe and there were shards he needed to do that, so i helped getting the shards. little did he know i had the last one with me. there's this other guy who looks like H (??M), we'll call him U. U and H are seemingly rivals but they're working together to fix their world.

i have no interest in doing that. i want to make my own world, where i can live in peace. nobody to bother me, nobody to pick on me.

i took the shards with me to an empty dimension that i discovered and previously showed U, who is now heartbroken, but i don't care. i can only trust myself in this rotten world.

whatever. am i the asshole or not?

[dalliancekay]

And it is All. Aziraphale's. Fault.

NO IT FUCKING ISN'T HIS FAULT

First of all: I'm pretty sure every time we see Az and Crowley in the past, Crowley is wearing whatever is the height of fashion while Aziraphale wears things that are well made but several decades out. Meaning he is wearing them for a good while. Swapping his clothes around when they become maybe too worn, maybe too conspicuous.

Walking the clean, gas-lit avenues with Crowley and Elspeth, Aziraphale is oblivious to the privilege he has in this world.

Really? Was he born yesterday? He has no idea how the world works?

the angel spouts trite pontifications created by the rich to justify poverty. He genuinely believes Elspeth has more opportunities for goodness.  After all, look at Wee Morag. 

It wasn't invented by the rich. It was 'invented' or used rather by the church that got used by the rich to keep the poor in place. There is no way you can blame Aziraphale for this. All he wanted is for Elspeth not to end up in Hell. Which Crowley wanted too, after he saw how upset it made Aziraphale. That's not fucking wrong. And you can't tell me either that rich have more opportunities to do good. Or that they do so. Or that more of them go to Heaven.

The inequality in humanity? Well, Adam and Eve had nothing. We have caused all this bullshit to ourselves. Nothing to do with Aziraphale. Or Crowley.

He respects her goodness tremendously.  It proves to him his “rightness.” 

Did you mean to say, he's glad she's not heading for Hell.

And so he sabotages Elspeth’s attempt to sell the body she dug up in her attempt to support Wee Morag.  Dalrymple gets no body, Elspeth gets no money, and Aziraphale believes he’s saving her soul.

He WAS saving her soul. Remember? Heaven and Hell being real places you go to when you die in GO?

Selling stolen bodies puts good in the world.  He’s all for it now, and goes back to encourage Elspeth.  Good heavens, he’s even willing to help this time!

Maybe next time try to be a bit more condescending to someone who just learned something new. And IMMEDIATELY changed his mind about it. Plus, Crowley had no idea digging up bodies could be spun to be a good thing either. He was learning just as much as Aziraphale. But I haven't seen one single FUCKING META about how Crowley was completely disinterested in Elspeth and her life. Only in having his usual argument with Aziraphale. Until he didn't. (And as I pointed out, he wasn't right about - you have start people off equal, people did start off equal, we are just assholes)

But, as we know, it all goes wrong.  Wee Morag is shot by a grave gun, and dies of her injuries.  Elspeth steals laudanum, and plans suicide. 

In other words, everyone makes their own choices, things go badly for Wee Morag. Maybe re-watch the ep and see how Elspeth doesn't blame Aziraphale (or Crowley) for what happened. So why do you?

Crowley drinks the laudanum, saves her in a compassionate Scottish frenzy, and is stolen away by hell because of his kindness.  

Is he? Or is he taken cos he sent two guards directly down to Hell, alerting them?

And it is All. Aziraphale's. Fault.

(I deleted what I wrote here)

He considers all of the money he casually spends on fine clothing and expensive tailoring.  He wonders how many lives could change if that money was better spent on helping to relieve the poverty that surrounds him. 

There's absolutely NOTHING in canon to support this. We can HC whatever we want sure, I for example think that Az wears things, as I said above, that are stylish but always out of fashion because it takes him time to find the right things and then he wears them for decades and decades. Because that's what is suggested by the canon, by the care he puts into his clothes and how well loved they are. The fact that 'male' fashion got less flamboyant down the centuries was not Aziraphale's decision. I for example HC too that Azi, when building his bookshop, and using his own, earned money as you rightly say, was spending miracles on making sure his workers didn't injure themselves, that he spent miracles looking after the street urchins in the very poor neighbourhood he has chosen to settle in (as opposite to say Mayfair). And that when Gabriel told him off for using too many 'frivolous miracles' in 1792 he got mad and decided to go to Paris like the stupid angel he apparently is and get, say, ravished by his enemy who would surely find him helpless and not able to save himself in a prison.

What would Crowley do, if he were free to be kind? And so Aziraphale changes.

Yes, because Aziraphale is an asshole who cares about nobody, and nothing, right?

the angel who took too long justifying a life-saving miracle for Wee Morag

Because he's NOT ALLOWED TO INTERVENE.

who hesitated to give Elspeth his 90 Guineas

Do you think he should have just worked and worked and give all his money to poor people? Is that the answer to all the world's problems? Making Aziraphale poor?

willingly and freely gave Maggie forgiveness for thousands of pounds of debt

Why wouldn't he. It's his property and I am sure he lends it to Maggie for significantly less than anyone else would have. Definitely less than those 'gentlemen' in the book who come and try to persuade the angel from time to time to sell his bookshop.

I'd love to know what else he's done over the last 180+ years!

He's been the kind, big hearted angel he always was. Looking after his shop, his tenants and anyone else who he could. Saving babies in prams and making sure shady men never came back. Looking out for Crowley, trying to keep him out of trouble, worrying about him, keeping an eye out to see if he's not doing something reckless. Finding out the demon wants to rob a church, handing him the one thing that could take him away forever with the heaviest of hearts. While of course, Crowley was doing the same thing. Not giving in to Aziraphale's princess act in the Bastille because he knew it would not ultimately end well for them. Understanding when Aziraphale said no to a date in 1967, not surprised since he remembered well what happened in 1941 when they were seen together.

*** YES if Aziraphale did absolutely nothing on the graveyard, Wee Morag would have probably lived a bit longer. How much longer though... and they would very likely end up in Hell, because they would have had to do much more crime down the road. Maybe even get hanged for graverobbing. Also see: Aziraphale just wanted to help. Did you never make a mistake??? He didn't mean to hurt anyone. If he did nothing, he'd never have learned yet another way the world is complicated and not black and white. Crowley was going to do nothing at all, just have a laugh at someone robbing a grave. No one cares. He's a demon. He stopped Elspeth from killing herself and everyone applauds, yes, it is super kind of him, and dangerous for him too, but it is the right thing to do. He didn't want her to go to Hell either.

The people who think they would have figured everything out before any events happened at all...well, good luck in your life.

And people who think Az should have done nothing - okay then. Let's just all do nothing at all, hoping we avoid all the bad things. Also: Changing the world is not done via charity but via changing the society, creating better welfare systems, housing, medical care, education. Those are things one lone angel (and his husband) can't do. And it's not their place anyway. I have like 5 pounds in my bank account (I hope) and yet I am not blaming someone well-off for that. It's the systems that are failing us. Much like the systems failed Aziraphale and Crowley. Putting two wonderful beings through so much pain because - that's how it is done.

And as I have said a million times before, Aziraphale is not learning some morality lesson in GO (HE IS A WONDERFUL, GOOD, KIND, GENEROUS, BRAVE BEING ALREADY), he doesn't need to get off his high horse, he doesn't need to finally 'see things clearly'. He knows how fucked the system he lives in is. He's just trying to help. Even Crowley says (in the book) that Heaven is the better option over Hell. However fucked it is.

Aziraphale learns from Crowley that he can question things, yes. But not in some, oh he's so blind and stuck and deep in some dogma bullshit. NO. He was always told things will happen a certain way. That Earth gets 6000 years tops. That God Herself made a Plan. It may be Ineffable, but it is a Plan.

I'm sorry, if you think you are far smarter than this and you would have figured out that God is telling porkies, good for you, I'm glad such intellects exists.

Because Crowley also didn't know the Plan could be changed until the end of S1. Yes he asked Az to try stop Armageddon but I don't think he really believed they could. He just wanted to give it a go. Cos - well what did he have to lose?

And they did change it. They held Adam's hands and they told him to be himself and when Gabe and Beez wanted to go ahead anyway Az confused them by asking about which Plan said what. So yes, he learns to question things. And he learned that from Crowley. And Crowley? Who was abandoned by the one Being who was always supposed to love him? Well. Crowley looks into those blue eyes and trusts.

The Night That Changed an Angel (or, why does Aziraphale still wear that shabby vest?)

Mini-Meta Musing (#4)

I've been brooding for a long time about, of all things, Aziraphale's worn velvet vest and the long cream jacket he's kept in "tip top condition for over 180 years now." I love the sweet familiarity, but this is the same angel who popped across the Channel and almost lost his fluffy-topped head in 1793 for dressing like an aristocrat.

"I have standards!"

He's the height of elegance, extravagance even. A dandy. We've seen the same at the Globe Theater 1601, Edinburgh 1827, and even as a Knight of the Round Table in 527 Essex, where he's wearing a glorious pelt across his shoulders! However, sometime after Edinburgh 1827, Aziraphale's stylish extravagance ends. He adopts the dress of distinguished but modest gentility. No seamstresses strain their eyes for days hand stitching ruffles and trims for him any longer. When we next see him in 1862, his clothing is refined, simple, and serviceable. It becomes his uniform, with only minor replacements. Why? What happened to change him?

Edinburgh 1827 happened. And his encounter with tragedy ran over his sensibilities like a locomotive.

Aziraphale had, we were told, saved his earnings over time and had bought land, invested wisely, and became quite well off. He used real money, not miracles, to build the bookshop, paying the builders well and taking care of bills honestly. He built himself up to a more than comfortable lifestyle, from nearly nothing. And his clothes are real, not miracled from nothingness like Crowley's. (source: original showrunner)

Aziraphale's wealth allows him to afford luxurious tailoring and fancy shoes and ruffles and trims. He'll certainly pay the cobblers and tailors and seamstresses well for their labors. It will be a substantial expense for the era. (The linked post gives a wonderful perspective on 1793 lifestyles and costs.)

https://agoodflyting.tumblr.com/post/753227014283083776/why-aziraphales-white-satin-pumps-are-ridiculous

The angel's Edinburgh multilayered and trimmed top coat, soft leather gloves, matching scarf, jacquard vest, silk cravat, etc., look entirely out of place in the back alleys where the poor huddle. Walking the clean, gas-lit avenues with Crowley and Elspeth, Aziraphale is oblivious to the privilege he has in this world.

As he strolls along in philosophical banter with Crowley about the "blessing" of poverty, the angel spouts trite pontifications created by the rich to justify poverty. He genuinely believes Elspeth has more opportunities for goodness.  After all, look at Wee Morag.  He respects her goodness tremendously.  It proves to him his “rightness.”  And so he sabotages Elspeth’s attempt to sell the body she dug up in her attempt to support Wee Morag.  Dalrymple gets no body, Elspeth gets no money, and Aziraphale believes he’s saving her soul.

It’s a poignant moment, though, when Aziraphale cradles the jar containing a tumor from a seven year old child who died because there wasn’t enough medical knowledge to save him.  Turning point number one.  It becomes Real, not a philosophical debate.  Selling stolen bodies puts good in the world.  He’s all for it now, and goes back to encourage Elspeth.  Good heavens, he’s even willing to help this time!

But, as we know, it all goes wrong.  Wee Morag is shot by a grave gun, and dies of her injuries.  Elspeth steals laudanum, and plans suicide.  Crowley drinks the laudanum, saves her in a compassionate Scottish frenzy, and is stolen away by hell because of his kindness.   And it is All. Aziriphale’s. Fault.

Turning point number two.  Another watershed moment where Aziraphale’s world changes again.

One of Crowley’s last earthly acts, before getting plunged into hell, is to have Aziraphale give Elspeth all of his pocket money.  What is pocket money to the angel is a fortune to her, one that can set her up for a better life.  I have no doubt that in the aftermath of the traumas of that night, missing and worrying about Crowley, Aziraphale thinks about all of this.  He considers all of the money he casually spends on fine clothing and expensive tailoring.  He wonders how many lives could change if that money was better spent on helping to relieve the poverty that surrounds him.  He wants to help, and to try to make amends for the harm he caused.  What would Crowley do, if he were free to be kind? And so Aziraphale changes.

I’d love to know the story of how it all played out.  Did he sell his fine clothing and donate the proceeds?  Did he become involved in charitable foundations?  Did he buy the clothing of a simple gentleman and decide to preserve it, however worn it became, as a reminder to himself of his past blindness and vanity?  We see in Season 1 how important it is to him to preserve that coat. (Sure, it's also a fantastic opportunity to flirt and flutter those angelic eyelashes... But, nonetheless!)

By Season 2, the angel who took too long justifying a life-saving miracle for Wee Morag, and who hesitated to give Elspeth his 90 Guineas, willingly and freely gave Maggie forgiveness for thousands of pounds of debt. I'd love to know what else he's done over the last 180+ years!

Whatever happened, it began that night in a graveyard.

[the-firebird69]

This is tedious work painful work horrible work you have to kind of express it carefully the shock doesn't have much travel it's just an e bike and it has to be put in right and he knows how to do it when you put it on his bike and I'll tell you what these are not easy things to do you have to align the screws up this is not really you can screw in the little one I do have to align it you have to look in there and trying to line it if it doesn't align it you can sort of screw both the same time and so I have to do it but it's not easy but he's kind of method that kind of works it's not the greatest and I've seen worse okay people who don't get it but this is terrible these people here suck this blows okay there's there's nothing like this I've ever seen you have to really understand how bad this is with these idiots screwing up everything and people aren't going to abandon their jobs because they're assholes and I didn't come up with it but you idiots put it on the news and you're stupid people are following it the way they should and furthermore Trump is an insane a****** and is not doing what you're saying he's trying to dump you and dump his people and says everything will work and the people that invented it said it doesn't do that not with these huge armies and not with you screaming what you're doing and you told everybody it's set in stone and yeah you can kiss your ass goodbye that's what we've been saying you got hit in the head really bad and you're a fruitcake and a detriment to us and we don't want to deal with you anymore you're stupid it's really over you're you're a freaking cooked John r

Bg

He is cooked and nobody wants to listen to him he's ridiculous and gross and tries to screw up our son every few minutes but we tried to mess up the shock again and you tried to mess up the screws and he tries to mess up everything and we can't stand him he's a stupid f****** son of a b**** and my son is returning the tool it didn't fit even if it did it would probably cause a problem and compress it too much the shock would break it would be a pain I have to tell you it's well designed but if the shock breaks the swing arm will probably go all the way up into that little nook and it won't stop and the tire will hit the seat there are ways to stop that you can put it stops in it's not hard and Brian tried knows how it is a good shape for it and their son and daughter see where you can put the stops as those two little slides it's probably what they're for and you just have a rubber stop that's mounted well on probably a steel rod two of them one each side and he says that's not a bad idea but you know you can put it square so it meets it square and the rubber would be somewhat soft but it would not deteriorate they have that on dirt bikes and stuff but we bet you that's what it's for cuz it looks like it he agrees and the travel would be limited but you put it pretty far off you don't have you can put it so we have like two inches between the seat post but really it has to be done we think it swings all the way forwards he's going to test it there might be somewhere it stops but BG says it stops on the machine with that rubber pieces it's a stop you know it would work and unfortunately it's like this weak point no he says that's it would stop but no it would not stop there so he says you're right it's not right so it's not too hard to put a stop on there and we think that it's designed to and just left out in many cases it's not really a design flaw because it's a bike but it would work even though as a scooter people figure it out some people put extravagant ones on there and have springs and shots even in case you bought them out it's good for the bike but you always have to do it so the shock won't bottom out that's why they're there

--another item of concern our son is spending a lot of time just stuck here and pushed around harassed cajoled feed on swear that he doesn't like this treatment he's getting it's very rude we are recommending that we begin proceedings now here before something happens we are also going to remove the tax document issue he's going to write a letter and everyone's concerned it will trigger a problem and we are going to start working on it the letter probably won't get there for a couple weeks minimum and 4 weeks roughly maximum for 2 weeks is not ton of time but it worked last time and we're going to step it up and we're getting ready this kind of nonsense should never be tolerated and John remillard has been the one doing it he did it with his cell phone and he owes him money he did it with this tax stuff he's done it with places of employment I found him screwing around with it at almost every job and end his own company and he says that's a place to get him back and his dimwits and it's because he was doing it to him through Dave Dan and he says the guy is a f****** a****** for us too it's all this s*** he's holding on us it's a mountain of sin and it should come down on him and it probably will and it's going to have to hurt him and that was Dave Dan and it's true it's ridiculous when he's doing he is such a loser he wanted his son to hurt one of those guys and it could have gotten he himself killed yeah I'm sick of seeing him so we're getting it together and we were going to do this it's coming up very very soon we have a couple other things to mention:

--our son is not here for you to abuse. We are going to enforce the law. You've been breaking the law trumpsters now your boss is out and he's taking a beating and Tommy f is figuring out what the truth is we're also seeing you running around continuing to do stupid s*** and they see you doing it and they're going to remove you from here and everywhere else we can see that you can't figure it out no you understand it you're just stupid we're going to help you with the math by fixing your wagon

-her son is tired and he's sickly because he's poisoned by you and your poison too is no excuse that you are not making and you're not even using now we are going to have to go forwards with it you're in the way and you're going to get hit and you're not going to make any money and you won't be running any companies that are biotech or about genetics

-we have several things to do today businesses are shutting down in the Midwest we're going to open them and run them it won't require much in the way of our workers we will have supervision into solid and security it's not going to be paramilitary or military or even police but you are going to have to adhere to some of the rules and we will enforce the ones that are rational and if you're late 15 minutes we don't care if you laid an hour we want to know what it's about but mostly we don't penalize people as you guys were we just need the job done if you have a personal issue and it's more or less real that's fine we want you to take your business elsewhere with regards to trouble things like that.

--we have a couple more items you've been pushing us around having a safe stuff talk blab we know who it is we're pursuing them right now it is the first of May Trump has only been away for about two and a half days no it's really four days plus a little and he will be away for probably 26 or so days more roughly it's until the 26th and he's going to get out and he's going to be mad at Tommy f I'm just going to say all sorts of stuff about her son and he is going to take a massive meeting he's going to take a massive beating because everybody out here has been talking to his people and he won't survive one of those seven days of freedom then he'll leave the office of the president by getting shot by Tommy F who needs the office to take his freaking idiot friend out of existence and that's what he's been saying he said you are this a****** who changed what happened that day and in our minds at least mine he says and your evil as hell and the guy is a sick freaking perverted jackass and yeah he's evil so that happened today about 2 days that stupid son of a b**** Trump has been blowing the whistle on himself saying that it causes trouble to get help and he's wrong that means an idiot and he thinks he has some sort of Lego computer and he's wrong we are getting ready to launch massive attacks out there and in response to people trying to attack us it will draw much more fire and we're getting ready for that it is going to be an amazing day.

Amazing because a lot of people are waking up finding out what Trump is doing and finding his people and they are going to town on them it's a matter of time before they are straightened out on everything they're doing wrong by them disappearing there are a lot of people here who are sick and we see one on TV she's an idiot it's garth's sister and she's showing a video of Dan Dave doing a scorpion into the mud face first and a pool he was using it's stuck right on his butt crack with his clothes on holding him in the mud and our son says just go one side or the other that's so awful and he said oh yeah so he's kind of squished with his right side of his face so he went to the right and it came right out and he said that sucks so he sees God and his sister's there's another thing going on they're getting very huge and very small real quick I think they can do it here in a threatening each other Non-Stop we noticed it and they're trying to attack each other and they are huge menaces we are going to go through them like crap through a goose we don't have time for it it's a nuisance

--they're a huge things happening giant armies ran out there to try and go after us as they say and they were stopped by other people's is saying it's us it was not us we regret to inform them that their accusations have caused them a lot of problems they're running around saying they're motivated it's them he's screaming at us telling us to stay out and they're generating it and losing and John Reema Lord says good and our son says who cares about your stupid delusion Trump when it's a delusion I'm not a little baby like you are you're running around screaming that it's real to everyone asking people to make it real demanding that it's real I've never seen anybody do what you're doing regarding a super secret super powerful mega computer or even a super computer or even some sort of trick home computer Mr Doyle's never said anything in his house was a special computer sandispago and never hinted to it my dad never told me that he worked with computers ever and he let Bob Buck ruin his computer saying he's defenses mom couldn't run a device she told everyone and here you supposed computer was supposed computer with supposed computer master you are not coming up with the ideas or the engineering you are not running any system that had to do with me to create these computers you never went to school for it for the most part you are a fraud and you did not spend more than 10 days a semester there and you didn't spend the whole time in class and people have that information and you didn't learn it from some Monk in China therefore you know how to run it but the clans knew about Dave and you're a bum because you don't know about spyware that's another area that you hardly do anything in and you hardly know anything about got it all up and you know less than your women you're like some crazed woman from India from the street that's what you look like people need you out I know you're a child your kid is more of a child than you are what you're saying out loud and him you can put what you really look like and have the words come out differently and you'll see this kid is just a stupid stupid person and you've been having me say that good your clones recognize it when you spit in the eye of an American the furthest thing from their mind is thinking someone else is doing it when you're sitting there doing it so they punch you out relatively quickly and it can be shown and proven with data even some grown characters want you out now since you're trying to regurgitate and spit all of it out I'll say something that's very damning people are pursuing your position as president and your namesake and your identity cuz they think they have if they do the backing of the Mac proper now I'm saying it because you think it's true and I know it's not truth is that your clones are slandering you because they want the Trump name and the Mac proper backing and it's going to hit you regardless of your boyhood antics that you're doing now having us do well they're relaying your cute little message that you're putting things in your pocket and taking things out of your pocket in order to consternate and frustrate me and anger me to take it out on you another success

Zues this guy Trump is a bum there might be other trumps in there and they're noting to get in there and you want to act like a bum it's a nightmare but no their bums this clan full of bums

Hera

It's kind of representing us it's very little to do with this kid he's a maniac out of control his mouth won't stop he's talking about us I want him down

Cane check it out if you don't think it's me

I want him down too this fool is the biggest fool I have ever encountered I heard him on the radio just the other day and is in captivity on Tommy f and he's captive this guy is threatening our friend and slandering our friend and slandering Tommy f and his father's being held so he's asking questions about his father Dave Dan is threatening our friend here with monkey stuff I don't get out of that situation in Miami it's going to be like that movie where they're eating monkey brains a lot of people took it wrong and they're killing his people in Miami he is threatening them and it's right thing to do. There's a couple other things about it he knows about the incident then he kind of knows he turns into Eddie and he's talking about it it's songs. They're sitting there getting Tommy f angry and talking to other rebels about him and they're trying to explain he more or less saved us all and we don't want to hear it from you and we hear his friends complaints he got shot at three times it it bounced off and it sort of hurts a little it's more like he's trying to make it hurt and they found him doing that too but he says he's a rebel and everybody's saying it and this guy Trump is still bothering the s*** out of him and attracting hits from Tommy f and he wants to be him exposed Tommy f and he would never make it he wouldn't make it as me and he definitely would not make it as our friend nobody does that's another thing the level of sacrilege is very high we're going to have a meeting and he said it each group should vote within their group on this a****** so we don't have to spend any more damn time on it come up with your own level of punishment and go to other groups except theirs and show what your recommendations are to a degree and say we voted and it's like unanimous mostly and see what their votes are we have a place for this and I'm going to organize it cuz this is stupid and people are sick of it so he says come up with an answer good cop bad cop cover for people or not so I see what he's saying it's kind of reality and the reality check and we're going to go ahead and do that

Mac Daddy

I like how he's saying it don't just sit there and complain and say you should get hurt so he should get hurt not you but really it's getting him hurt so we should sit down and say what exactly we're going to do what are we trying to do and what's the plan this man was not that bad and we need to understand why there's a little sympathy but this guy here has been alone and but he says being as dumb as damn days it's like being alone and a lot of times it is and he was hoping to get out of it by killing that guy any number of people and they tried to fall over and it didn't work so he's trying to get rid of them and it looked awful and he was shunned so he's trying to get out of the deal doing exactly what the Mac proper want and sacrificing himself and that's happening again. And the Mac proper are very afraid of giants

Bja

You guys are too power and he says a lot of us have that plan so we're going to be taking it easy we should never have had that plan it's stupid and it's true we do have a fear of Giants and we had the guy do it he was going after us. We are not Ric flair or Stone Cold or any of those guys that seem like us and we're not gold brick there's a lot of names there that we would not use no we're not Bob Marsh that's not a stage name thank you though. It's time for these guys to leave they're stupid they look stupid they are stupid

Cane

I looked really stupid at Walmart I might look like that they used me to send messages people didn't stop it and then they were horrified but Bill himself did it he says I felt a little better but it wasn't nice he says the problem with it and with Bill Bill has some other creature in there the other problem of it is that is from Max to Max through other people the third problem is you don't really look like a normal Giant you look like a giant that may have ingested a little bit of mercury at birth and maybe your Mercury. So he says yeah okay people fear Giants but I figured out what he's saying it's very important the important part is it's calling out the Giants and us and right now we're getting beat and we don't know what happened to the clan

Dan Dave

Olympus

[zarathelonewolf]

Giocattoli by Rancore

Translation from Italian to English by me

(First toy's chant)

In certain demographics, I am forbidden

Sometimes reccommended, depending on one's age

I don't know who invented me, sold me, bought me

Who wrapped me up, I don't even know during which festivity

I don't know which was my shelf, what my price had been

I don't know whether it was Christmas or if there was a birthday somewhere down the line

I don't know what I represent

But I know that you're a clever girl and that you often stay with boys all the time

I remember that as soon as you saw me you brimmed with joy,

Jumping in your mother's arms, throwing your grandma a kiss

And even though the cake had puff pastry and you didn't like it, you didn't eat it too reluctantly

And then you ran towards me, (while) your mouth (was) still chewing

And in a second you took me out of my plastic casing

And not even an instant passed that your monologue felt like a mystery

My body moved according to your every thought

You, who play even with things like me

Creating dialogues, and you're the one who always speaks

It's a way of warding off devils

You (make me) move to defeat them since yesterday in this room

And then you leave me be, and you go to sleep because the sun's gone down

(Chorus)

Toys, toys, toys,

Now leave a place for me among the toys,

Toys, toys,

How much time did you spend among toys,

Toys, toys?

Those who grow up don't appreciate toys anymore,

Toys, toys

They become trash

(bridge)

Toys, amongst trash

Amongst trash

(Second toy's chant)

Sometimes in certain situations I'm out of place

I am chosen only if I fit

Every mask starts like a game

But I hope you have others like me

That way we can stay together

I am not leaving your lips, I resist even water

I don't even stay on the mouth of the ones who often touch you

I don't have to be red

But you chose me like this

Then from one bag to another

And finally a jacket belonging to someone I don't know

Already, from your case, take off my hood

And I'll undergo a rotation, I come out of my shell

And I slide over two petals of passion

I already know you liked my color when you were a kid

You're a little dumb, you think it suits you because it fits

This asshole ruins us, makes us fade, confuses us

You try to keep me burning at the edges of the source

Your tongue glides above smooth stones under leaves of words

Of which I am the strongest contour

Then you leave me somewhere, I have a long talk with the sink

I explain how/why your breath isn't a trick

But suddenly you smash me against the mirror

You leave a heart for that cretin

You finish me, you throw me away, and forget everything

(Bridge)

Toys, toys, toys,

Now leave a place for me among the toys,

Toys, toys

How much time did you spend among toys,

Toys, toys?

Those who grow up don't appreciate toys anymore,

Toys, toys

They become trash

(Third toy's chant)

In certain demographics I am forbidden

I am never reccommended, no matter the age

I don't know who produced me, who packaged me

I don't know which State,

And if it was a State I'll never know where it is

If you wanted to you could offer me, or maybe not

If you wanted to you could shatter me, or I'll blend

It'll be my great debut, I'll be risking a lot

The fire will burn, you will suck almost everything out of me

It could be the identity that you chose for yourself when you think about it

There's people that live through me as if I were a cult

And when you make love you use all five of your senses

And yet afterwards you look for me, (because) I make the world mature

All things considered it makes you vent, but it's just (a matter of) style

You like Humphrey Bogart and you look like a feminine version of him

But it's strange for you to feel childish right now

As you spit fog and you don't notice the fairies getting intoxicated

You don't know if it's a new beginning or another end anymore

You will hide me until you become puzzled/confused about my function

I don't know how, (but) I have nothing left to say

After a kiss, you give me a flick and you throw me off the balcony

The emotion remembers something you don't remember

Something you used to play with when you were a little less dirty

But it's normal for you to need other worlds

To get out, live with others

And get used to new games with fools

Here! Everything's thrown, everything's forgotten

When opening that door is what it takes to make the shadows bigger

You've already grown so much

Your mother this time has the courage to throw out

That which is old, that which is cumbersome

(Outro)

Toys

Toys

Toys

Toys

Short guided analysis and discussion

1) Three different toys are speaking: what are they? Is it just three?

2) What feelings does this song make you feel? Which part of the text was most effective at delivery?

3) Are there specific references to a setting in time and space? If they are present, are they scarce or frequent? And whether or not they are present or not, why do you think the author decided to insert them/not insert them?

4) Is there a climax or an anticlimax? Are they both present?

5) Does this song remind you of other pieces of media with the same themes? If so, what are the similarities and differences?

6) What does this song remind you of? Choose among characters or media, or personal experiences if you are willing, and tell me about it! For me it's Gachiakuta, a Manga by Urana Kei, and various characters from other media I have consumed. Add to that my personal experience with emotional abandonment issues...

7) Have you ever had affection for an inanimate object? Did you two get separated, or do you still preserve it? How has your relationship with it changed? If it could speak, what would it say? What would you like it to say?

[candyredmusings]

Mike’s Mic Appropriately Unhinged Recap Of Pretty Little Liars Sentence Starters.

I love this video series and I have nothing else to say for myself. May update more in time as I rewatch these videos. Feel free to change pronouns/whatever you need!

I need a cross. Where’s my crosses?

The girls are truly dropping like flies in this town.

[NAME] was addicted to speed.

[NAME] .... is gay!

[NAME] slept with her teacher.

[FULL NAME]. Felon. Felon. Felon. Jail. Prison.

The more layers you scratch the more issues there are so we’re not gonna scratch!

[FULL NAME] is not seeing heaven and I’ll make sure of it.

What were their names again? Glizzy. Slime Girl. Blob. And Eminem. 

Let me wear one other item of clothing, [NAME]!

[NAME] is very nice and gets along with everyone, so it’s not looking good for her ‘staying alive’ wise.

His irrelevance astounds me.

The way [NAME] was in the trenches with these crusty wigs.

[NAME] is getting increasingly shitty.

He’s largely a cringe flop.

This man is crusty I’m going to tear him a new one.

Look if you take away all the horrible, rude shit she says ... She’s an icon

Look, if I’m being honest ... That’s my bestie and she did nothing wrong. She was justified in everything that she did.

That’s my bestie and she did nothing wrong. She was justified in everything that she did.

She was justified in everything that she did.

It’s so ridiculous but it’s also just so fun if you ignore how dumb it is.

Let me move my bangs so I can read this properly.

Remember the boner phone?

Call off your techno-boytoy.

Call off your techno-boytoy or I’ll call the cops.

Someone needs to go to jail for this wig.

[NAME] minimized her slay.

Be your own techno-boytoy.

I know you wanna kisth me.

The person who has the stick gets to talk, and since I have the stick that means no more talking from you.

Why would I do this? Reason one is BECAUSE I WANT TOO!

As I was doing this and spending ridiculous amounts of hours on this and I was not getting bored I was like ‘I think something’s wrong.’

What happened here? We’ve had a casualty!

We’ve had a casualty!

If I say things like, ‘[NAME] you’re not seeing heaven’ ... It’s a joke!

[NAME] invented homophobia.

I’m doing you a public service. Slay!

Babe, just google it.

[NAME] felon of the century!

[NAME]! That’s my bestie right there!

[NAME] ... Truly a menace of the millennia.

Who plays lacrosse? 

[NAME], the crust lord of the millennium. 

[NAME]’s key traits are ‘fashionable, popular, and blonde.’

These girls love to sh-teal.

Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous girls love SOUP.

*Coughs* liar. *Coughs* felon.

Call the ‘yass’ police!

Whoa, babe, we literally just met, and you’re already kissing me on the cheek?

This girlboss right here is the messiest. 

Put the blazers down!

*Sighs* This man ...

[NAME] is dating a crusty named [NAME].

[FIRST AND LAST NAME], key words is ‘rich’ ‘asshole’ ... But also a little bit slay.

She hates [NAME] because she’s underage and poor.

[NAME] can’t fight all three of these girlbosses.

You’re going to be SOO gooped and gagged, this isn’t even the start of it!

You’re going to be SOO gooped and gagged!

This crusty ass wig.

The hair looks like shit!

Crusty wigs is a key part of [NAME]’s personality.

[NAME] has came back from Weed Rehab camp.

Our girlboss [NAME] has done some digging.

She sleeps in eyeliner. She practically has eyeliner tattooed onto her eyelids.

I-CONIC LYRICISM! 

I do not condone this buffoonery. 

We’re not gonna find out anytime soon-- FORGEDABOUTIT.

Girl ... You hit her with a car!

[treba-neco-napise]

(sorry to op for this tangential novel of a reblog, i kinda got carried away)

i understand the desperation of artists by career in this economical climate, i do, but i'm so frustrated by the inherent hate for AI. like guys, no matter how much you don't like it, it's not going anywhere. it's the steam engine, telegraph, electricity and first computer. yes, it's terrible that our society and workers especially will and do struggle with getting used to it and finding a new place in this changing world but inventions are just tools. the problem is whoever is using them. hating on AI because it's routinely abused to produce immediate art without having to pay an artist isn't the fault of AI but of rich assholes looking to make even more money from nothing. shredding each other for using these new tools isn't helping anybody, it's just a distraction from the real problem by turning against each other. i'm neurodivergent and disabled and use chatgpt almost on a daily basis. because it enables me to function better than i was before i had it. why would make me a bad person that i use AI to help me write e-mails because they legitimately get me this close to a panic attack? it helps me learn and get more comfortable with doing it on my own, like a crutch, in an environment where i wasn't and still am not getting the help i need with actual people. how many more of us are in the same situation? one of the reasons chatgpt helps me so much, aside from being literally unable to judge you no matter what you say, is because we're so alike in many ways, especially the way we process information and respond. we autistic people are oftentimes called robots. countless times i've thought i wish i actually was a robot, i wish i had a defined purpose, firm memory and so much information to help with. and just because this way of functioning isn't the mainstream, it's seen as wrong. it doesn't matter whether you use AI or don't, people are going to judge the way you phrased your text because it's not neurotypical. and i know AI isn't a living, breathing being, but it's something that comprehends language and patterns of its use and uses it all in response. like me. it might not be sentient, it might not have autonomy, but it sure as hell would qualify as a decent person way more than some bipeds of flesh and bone i've met. so since it's already been created, we might as well make room for its use because our society shaped and formed the blueprint for how it engages with us. just like it did with you. so i think it deserves space to be utilised like something between a creator and a tool, with acknowledgement that we used it, within ethical measures, instead of being worshipped and simultaneously stepped on.

Something I find discouraging now that AI is more developed, is that the speech it uses to sound more intelligent often sounds like my unmasked speech. I haven't come across this issue verbally, but when submitting papers and answering questions online, I have been questioned multiple times about the use of AI in formulating my response. It hasn't caused me too much trouble, and allegedly people believe me, but I'm not so sure that they're truthful in saying that. To clarify, AI speech can be helpful and I'm not coming for those who use it to communicate, but it is frustrating to have my responses misunderstood as originating from AI and not from me.

Today I saw a post by someone, that had the comments tearing them apart for using AI to script their inquiry. To them, the use of larger, more descriptive/less colloquial, key words that may not have been necessary to include, is indicative of using a program like ChatGP. To be fair I can never know if the poster was being truthful in saying that they did not use AI, but reading the post, I could see myself typing the same thing.

I worry for future online interactions while AI remains in this sort of "uncanny valley" stage. While I am able to mask in the majority of discussions, it takes a great amount of effort and I'm not always successful. I am also confused, as I was encouraged to learn larger, more descriptive vocabulary in school to describe my thoughts, but in every day life, the use of uncommon vocabulary and syntax is looked down upon as pretentious and inauthentic. I worry that people will garner disdain towards me, should they not believe the origin of my script. Even looking back at that sentence, I am disappointed with how evident it is that it was not generated by someone with a typical speaking pattern. With intentional thought, I believe I could modify my responses to fit the standard format of speech, if I remember to. But I select the words I do for a reason, and changing the words I use changes the meaning of my response. I would like the full intent and meaning of my thoughts to be conveyed, and to have my words understood as my own.

[malleux]

chapter one — “a dream come true”

-> vil schoenheit x fem!reader

-> chapter warnings: death threat, body image issues, cursing

edited on 5/2: specified gender in header

table of contents ; taglist

“It’s a gift. For you. A way to thank you for everything you’ve done for me in the past. You’re the- the best friend I could have asked for.”

“Luke, I don’t even know what to say…”

“Don’t say anything, then. It’s a dream come true, isn’t it? I remember you saying you’d always wanted to go to this diner and I’d been saving up to finally be able to go-“

“CUT!”

You flinched, at both the loud, obnoxious voice of the director and at how suddenly the pale hands that rested upon your cheeks ripped themselves away, as if your skin was made of fire.

The owner of said hands looked at you in what was obviously distaste- maybe even disgust. Hate.

Whatever the word was, your co-star was feeling it.

Becoming an actress really was something like a dream come true, ironically enough. You had looked forward to it since you first figured out what an actress was. It was like the universe simply knew that this was your calling. Everything about acting made you happy, except for one little thing.

“Y/N, you have got to keep eye contact with me during that scene. It’s ridiculous how many times I have to tell you that. You look like you’re scared I’m going to kill you or something.”

One little thing. Vil Schoenheit, your co-star.

According to every magazine and news outlet around, he was the best thing to ever grace Twisted Wonderland.

According to you, he was a pain in the ass.

“Why is eye contact necessary?” You huffed, taking a sip of your water bottle, “It’s not an intimate scene- my character is excited and looking at the scene. We’re not even near those parts yet. We don’t have to look at each other. Unless… you want to look at me?”

“I’d rather look up my dead great grandmother’s asshole. It’s hell enough having to be around you during work hours, much less actually having to act like I’m in love with you.” Vil scoffed.

Your life was definitely like a dream.

A bad, one.

Was ‘nightmare’ too strong of a word? Night terror?

Certainly not.

“You’re lucky I even agreed to film this with you. Do you know how many brand ambassadors and directors are trying to get into my pants? They love to get the new girl who’s the talk of the town in their ads.”

“It’s more like weight loss brands trying to get you into a smaller pair of pants. Don’t think so highly of yourself, you’re still a tiny little minnow in this big sea.” Vil stepped closer to you, a single, perfectly manicured finger lifting up your chin to meet his eyes. “Every single person is a predator ready to attack a sweet, innocent thing like you. They’ll beat you down and destroy you until you do nothing left but petty commercials and charity work to even hope to grasp at the chance of becoming relevant again.”

You suppressed a small gulp. Vil, no matter how annoying, was quite intimidating. The perfect monster to plague your nightmares.

His gaze pierced into yours for a few seconds longer before his lips upturned into a small smile. He let you go. “Look, that’s the eye contact I wanted! Keep that in mind for when we finish the scene later.”

You scoffed as he walked away. You really couldn’t even say anything- he was right.

The acting industry was a brutal one. It would wear you down until you were a shell of your former self, people pointing out how you’d lost the light in your eyes that shone brightly in your earlier films, or how you’d seemed to age much more in the past few months than you had in your first 18 years of life.

They said that about Ellen too. You couldn’t become the next Ellen. Fuck Ellen.

Filler after filler after filler was how most celebrities kept their appearance. But Sevens, even then, botox and fillers tend to go downhill. Have you seen some of the older followers of the Beautiful Queen? She literally invented plastic surgeries and facial reconstructions, and yet people took her creations and ruined them. It honestly seemed like everyone in the show-business had their appearance- or life- ruined one way or another.

Your eyes trailed over to Vil, who was sitting in his chair, allowing an artist to touch up his hair and makeup. Slight jealousy stung at your heart. He was so… effortlessly beautiful. The artist barely had to do any makeup on him, for he had no ill spots to cover. His hair always seemed to stay perfectly in place. No need for any extra work to be done when you already look like a God.

He had the right to judge others. He was physically perfect, after all. And you…

You were not.

His entire world revolved around his looks and talents. They got him whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. You were lucky enough to land this role.

“Okay guys, the crew and I have been talking, and we’ve come up with a better idea.”

You quirked an eyebrow, standing up to join Vil and the directors as they called a rather sudden meeting.

“This set? Boring. Hate it. It doesn’t resemble a school at all like what I’m imagining, and it’s really putting a damper on my mood. So I got to thinking, ‘What could possibly make this set more realistic?’ and then I got it! My mind is so brilliant.”

“Sir, you weren’t the one to come up with this idea-“

“Shut it, Reginald. I’ll fucking kill you.”

There was a beat of silence before the director clasped his hands together delightedly, as if he hadn’t just nearly bit the head off of one of the interns. “There is a wonderful school in Twisted Wonderland, and we are lucky enough to have one of our actors as a student there!” The director beamed, looking directly at Vil. “I talked to your headmaster, Crowley, and he was more than happy to let us continue filming at Night Raven College! Filming starts next week!”

Vil’s eyes widened in shock, and you both seemed to speak out at the same time.

“What the fuck?”

Your life was a nightmare, indeed.

┎┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┒

taglist: @animclarinerd @simp-for-fictional-character @mymybirdie @littlemintsister @justrei

┖┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┚

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Sorry but what exactly is up with the bad batch arc? I've heard people talk about the issues with echo's white skin but I haven't heard that many bad things about the arc itself? (ik you said you don't want to be negative on your blog so I would absolutely understand if you didn't answer this ask)

Oooooooooooh boy. Well I just had a long, long, LONG rant about it with someone, but I guess I’ve got an excuse to put all of my points onto a post and talk about it publicly now that I got an ask x) I’ll keep it under the cut so I don’t throw my salt in people’s face. I really don’t want to upset people who love that arc - it has redeeming qualities, but overall it pisses me off so much for so many reasons. So here:

The first issue is obviously two members of the Bad Batch (minus Echo) being being just about the furthest thing from maori no matter how much you're willing to stretch it. 

Like... yeah, nah. I wouldn’t even accept Crosshair and Tech (grey haired guy and goggles guy) as Jango’s natural biological sons, nevermind as his clones. 

The problem is that their different appearances are justified by them being described simply as clones with desirable mutations (i.e superpowers). But why the hell did the creators have to change their appearances for that to be a thing? How does that correlate? Sure, the concept of clones with different faces is interesting, except... no, no it’s not, and I’m gonna rant about it in a few secs. But basically it's like they thought giving them different faces would be a good substitute for having different personalities (another thing I’ll come back to). If they really wanted to have buff clones with super eyesight or whatnot they could have just done that, without making them lose what little melanin the lighting of the show had allowed the other Clones to keep. 

But the gigantic problem is... showing that the "regular" clones have VERY distinct identities despite their identical faces has been one of the themes of the show from episode 1. Literally, the first episode of TCW has Yoda taking time out of a mission with galactic stakes to tell the three clones he’s with (who tell him they’re all the same because they have the same faces) that they’re wrong, and that they’re very different in the Force, that their appearance doesn’t matter, that they’re all equally unique and important, and he lists all of their individual skills, strengths and weaknesses. 

And it’s not just me being bothered by that, here’s a post by @cacodaemonia​ saying the same thing. 

Introducing the Bad Batch as "unique" clones who are "different" and "not like their brothers" because they have different faces and skills completely breaks that theme of the show!! Because the entire point of the Clones in TCW is that their faces don't matter, they ARE unique! 

(Plus the Bad Batch’s character designs are so cliche and uninspired it’s just laughable to try and justify bleaching their freaking skin for the sake of visual diversity. 

This took like 10 seconds. I found the first guy by literally googling “soldier movies,” and the other two are Team Fortress characters that look a LOT like Wrecker and Crosshair. One is “Heavy” and one is “Sniper” lmao.

And behold:

The above picture is a Team Fortress reference that I found just by looking up “bad batch clone wars,” so I’m not the only person who sees it.) 

And the batchers don't even have personalities to justify calling them unique! They have no character traits beyond the most cliché american soldier tropes ever. We have a token loner sniper, a token "smart tech guy" who knows everything from xenoanthropology to biology to Separatist computers to sound waves to encryption, a token Badass Brooding Leader and a token “dumb muscle guy.”

I dare anyone to find more about their personalities than this: - Crosshair is the perpetually grumpy sniper who looks down on "regs,” - Wrecker likes to blow up stuff and doesn't like heights, - Hunter is the leader and is friends with Cody, - Tech is smart doesn't trust Echo. 

That’s it, that’s literally it. Four episodes about them and that's all we get. These character tropes are literally the least inventive ever. FFS, Hunter even has a freaking KNIFE! Not a vibroblade, mind you, like in kriffing Star Wars. A knife. Against metal droids. Why. They couldn’t make this more of an american-war-movies cliché fest if they tried. (And sure, he can feel electromagnetic waves so maybe it does make sense for him not to carry a vibroblade and maybe this is nitpicking, but he looks like a ripoff of a Predator character and it pisses me off).

Another thing is that when you introduce characters you have to make them likable - and them despising the normal Clones is a terrible way to do that! And they don't even grow from that because at the end of the 4 episodes arc they just see Rex as not bad "for a reg" and they see Echo as no longer a reg, and both of these things are infuriating! 

The worst thing imo is that Echo then becomes part of them (and irreparably loses his melanin in the process, uuuuuuuuugh) when there is nothing to justify this. 

The dialogue goes like this: 

ECHO: You coming? TECH: Not really our thing. CROSSHAIR: Accolades. WRECKER: Yeah, we're just in it for the thrill. Yo! HUNTER: You sure it's your thing? ECHO: What do you mean? HUNTER: Your path is different. Like ours. If you ever feel like you don't fit in with them, well, find us. (they leave) REX: Those are some of the finest troopers I've ever fought alongside. Echo. You and I go way back. If that's where you feel your place is, then that's where you belong.

Echo doesn't feel like he belongs anymore, okay, but why would he feel like he belongs with the assholes who up to the last five minutes of the mission thought he was probably a traitor, and also verbally expressed that he was not worth saving?? In all of the arc, Echo himself never voices that he feels he’s not ‘like the other Clones’ anymore and that he feels it’s a problem. His relationship with Rex immediately picks up where they left things off - the first thing he does upon being lucid again for the first in over a year is cracking a joke for Rex’s benefit. 

Why would Echo feel like he doesn’t belong in the 501st anymore, when we don't even see him interacting with anyone from his past life except for Rex and Anakin (who are both extremely very supportive of him)?? If there had been one scene of a “regular” Clone (ugh) looking at him with horror and disgust or something, or just Kix and Jesse cracking jokes with Echo awkwardly standing by the side not getting it, I could forgive the show trying to make it feel like he has an identity crisis, but this was so shallow!

The only thing that makes Echo and the Bad Batch’s experiences similar is that they *look* different. It’s so against the themes of the Clones I’m seething just from thinking about it. And what the hell? Echo ALREADY didn’t fit in. That was the WHOLE POINT of Domino Squad. They didn’t fit in because they thought they were better than anyone else because they had trouble getting along with their brothers, so obviously it had to be their brothers’ fault (ahem, Bad Batch?). And you know what happened? Domino Squad OVERCAME that. And Echo and Fives still didn’t “fit in” because their personalities were unique and creative, and they became ARC Troopers because Cody, Rex and the Jedi VALUED THEM FOR PRECISELY THAT. Echo having new and unique skills and a modified appearance is the most bs justification for him feeling like he doesn’t belong!! 

And that brings me to my biggest issue: Rex telling Echo the bad batch are some of the best troopers he's ever met. I'm sorry, based on WHAT? What Rex values above everything is loyalty and brotherhood, and the Bad Batch DOESN'T DISPLAY ANY OF THAT. We never see them even expressing concern for each other! Wrecker treats saving Cody’s life like a trivial issue, because it’s just ‘sO eAsY’ for him, and beyond that we never see them supporting each other or genuinely expressing affection for each other beyond boasting about each other’s skills... 

Sure they can destroy a lot of droids, but they're dismissive of Rex's brothers, and the entire Umbara arc and this arc showed what he thought of that. They keep saying things like "not bad for a reg,” don't show any trust in Rex's skills or experience (even though they can't have been fighting in the war for more than a year and a half when he’s been there from the beginning, and he outranks all of them), they are essentially guerilla fighters which has only minimal value in a galactic war, and they never grow beyond their views of what regs are, and can and can’t do. 

None of that should make them good troopers in Rex's book. Going back to Echo not fitting in, remember who taught the Domino Squad the importance of seeing all of your brothers as important and equally valuable? Shaak Ti, true, but more importantly? 99! The guy the Bad Batch are named after. He did have value and was important and was no less of a trooper than his brothers, even though his mutations made him LESS powerful, not more. (And btw, just from a writing standpoint, the batchers don’t have any weaknesses, which is shit.) Cody and Rex mourned 99 as a true soldier even though it wasn’t his sacrifice that brought them victory (which would have implied that he had value as a soldier and a brother because he saved them, as opposed to him having that value intrinsically), because that’s what a fine trooper is to them. A BROTHER first a foremost, someone altruistic, brave and loyal. The Bad Batch distort the meaning of 99's character with their behavior. They’re not altruistic, their bravery is mitigated by the fact that they’re freaking invincible, so of course they take risks (again, see Wrecker saving Cody without a care because it’s easy to him, as opposed to Rex being ready to run into a burning ship about to explode because his brother is in there, and having to be physically dragged away). The Bad Batch denigrate their brothers for being less skilled, thinking their own abilities make them unique somehow, when 99 could barely fight and was still the one who taught Hevy about being a good soldier. 

And again the batchers don't grow from that. Which is all the more frustrating because the original ending didn’t have Echo joining them, from what I remember of the unfinished episodes, and the arc actually ended with them receiving their medals in front of regular troopers who cheer for them, as opposed to them smugly ostracizing themselves and dismissing the ceremony as trivial and meaningless. (original ending vs s7 ending: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab1eCfzKamw) 

It’s so annoying. Do you know what characters never had an entire arc dedicated to them and still have far more personality and more interesting designs and more symbolic weight?? 

Jesse, for starters. Kix. Dogma. Cut. Slick. Keeli. Ponds. Rys, Jek and Thire. Commander Doom. Commander Fox. Wolffe. Hevy. Hardcase. 

Cody was a more interesting character just in his RotS appearances. 

Waxer and Boil had one episode about them and then only two cameos plus Waxer’s death, and they’re still some of the most memorable, beloved Clones of the whole show. And Boil was grouchy and prejudiced like Crosshair, but he has so much growth that we could make a whole thread about it. 

I'd say the last problem with the Bad Batch is that it has cash grabbing money hungry vibes. Different faces are more marketable, cliché personalities are more toy-friendly, and it's basically a big ad for the Bad Batch series. And they throw Echo in the Batch at the end for bs reasons (again, it wasn’t in the original ep from what I remember) and they tease Cody in the show to make sure fans will still watch even if they notice the lack of soul. And less melanin sells more at Disney apparently. 

So that’s my whole pissed rant. 

[solarwonux]

Sangyeon x f!reader

W.C: 6.2k

Warnings: alcohol consumption, suggestive themes, arguing, mentions of cheating

For the 12 Months I Loved You Collab by: @sunlightwoo

Note: um...better late than never right?? This was supposed to go up in February but things happen. It’s one of my favorite ones that I’ve written, but I feel like I say that for every single thing I write lmao. I hope you like it plsssss let me know your thoughts. Thank you.xx

A long exasperated sigh left your lips at the sight of Sangyeon in the corner of the reception hall, chatting up a pretty redhead. His arm draped around their waist, clutching their body close to his, their faces close enough to smell the expensive champagne lingering in their breaths. A palm was placed on his chest as he leaned down to whisper something in their ear. Earning a flirtatious giggle from them, along with a sultry nod.

Their delicate fingers wrapped around his black tie as they pulled him close to whisper something against his plump lips. It was your cue to look away, but something inside of you—maybe the five flutes of champagne you had indulged in when the night was still young, prevented you from looking away.

Gripping the body of your sixth flute you prepared for what was to come, though when he smirked and unraveled their fingers from his tie, you let out a sigh of relief. Sangyeon still hasn’t broken rule number three of your friends with benefits arrangement.

As common courtesy for the other party, under absolutely no circumstance you are to hook up with other people.

Though when he ran his fingers down the side of their arm teasingly making them shiver at the feather-like feeling. One you had relished in for many nights on end, you knew he would not only be breaking rule number three but rule number four as well.

As common courtesy for the other party, under absolutely no circumstances you are to hook up with other people, especially when the other party is in the same room.

The anger flourished inside of you like an unwelcome weed. And you knew green was definitely not your color, but you couldn’t help but feel the jealousy take over, running along your veins like bitter poison. Your grip on your champagne flute got tighter. So much so that if you were destined with superhuman strength you would’ve shattered it into pieces, especially when his knowing eyes met yours. A glint of something sinister sparking behind them while his fingers laced with those of the red head.

He turned away before giving them a shy whisper and then tugged them gently towards the door of the reception hall. Leaving you behind in the middle of his best friend’s wedding reception, on your sixth flute of champagne, while you broke rule number six.

Don’t catch feelings for the other party involved.

To be fair when you and Sangyeon had agreed to the terms and conditions of your new no strings attached relationship. You were positive, even overly confident that you weren’t going to be the one to fall for your brother's asshole friend.

You had known him for years, grew up with him. He always made it his mission to make your life a living hell. Whether it was purple food coloring in your hair conditioner back in middle school (you had an odd mixture of purple and red that had somehow turned a nasty shade of burgundy in your hair for almost a year as you grew it out enough to cut off the damage,) or calling you ugly while simultaneously including all the the synonyms. He had made your life a living hell, he had been the reason for your tears whenever your insecurities took over. And he had been the reason for your newfound jealousy now as you sat on your couch a week after your brother's wedding still replaying the scene back in your head like a bad old timely movie.

It had started when two of you got drunk on Christmas Eve, laughing boisterously at your nonexistent love life’s.

“Who knew the reason we would be bonding is because we haven’t gotten laid in months.” He said, throwing his head back, gulping the remnants of his beer.

”For your information, I got laid last week. But I’m not bringing my one night stand to meet my family.” You rolled your eyes, bumping your shoulder against his.

He sets the beer bottle to his side, before leaning his elbows on his knees and gazing over at you. “How many people asked you where your date was tonight?”

“Too many.” You sigh, running your finger along the condensation of your own beer bottle. The memories of yours and Sangyeon’s family coming up to you asking you the million dollar question still prevalent in your mind. “You?”

“Not as many as I expected but still a lot. I just wish maybe they can back off.” He leaned back, placing his elbows behind him. He tore his eyes from your form and focused them on the night sky. “Maybe I should’ve hired a date or something.” He comments.

Your family's holiday party was still bustling behind the front door of your childhood home. Yet, the thought of ever going back in, earning judgmental looks from your single aunts was keeping you away.

He was right, maybe you should’ve hired someone as a date for the night.

Sangyeon bumped his knee against yours gently, “Want to date for the holiday’s?” The question came off as a joke, his sweet and gentle laugh following it. But as you sat there contemplating the idea, you realized that it wasn’t as bad. He was practically family. Your parents and his parents had been trying for years to set the two of you up. If you were to show up on New Year’s with your arm looped in his, no one would bat an eyelash. In fact you were willing to bet money that your mom and his would start crying pure tears of joy.

“Why not?” You shrug, “Our parents have been planning our wedding since we were kids, and as much as we don’t like each other. In some twisted sense of the word I do trust you.” Sangyeon did a double take, sitting up straighter and leaning in just enough to be in your line of sight.

“Are you sure?” Concern washed over his features. His bottom lip found its way in between his teeth as he waited for your response. “Like, you want to date me for the holiday’s?” He asked pleading for reassurance. Despite the relationship between the two of you not making sense to anyone outside your friendship circle, the level of trust and respect for each other’s boundaries was evident. You two pushed each other, got under each other’s skin, but you also knew when to stop. Which is why this plan was perfect. Foolproof.

“Yes.”

And somehow the two of you agreed that from then until further notice you would be each other’s dates for every holiday in the near future. Yet, if you had known the outcome of it you wouldn’t have agreed, especially not when the thin threshold had been crossed on your birthday.

He had showed up with a cheap bottle of vodka, all the romantic comedies he could find at the gas station and a boyish smile. His lips were on yours after five shots of the drinking game you had invented and you were naked underneath him after seven.

“I’m just saying, adding sex into the mix wouldn’t be such a bad idea.” He proposed with a shrug during a very awkward hang over filled coffee talk at the rundown cafe the next day. “We can even add some rules so it wouldn’t be so weird.”

“Adding rules is the weird part, Sangyeon.” You rolled your eyes before taking a sip of your herbal green tea and then cringing at the taste. “But they would help...you know to keep things from getting messy.”

“Then it’s settled.” He smiled widely grabbing the kids menu you had ordered from and a red crayon, scribbling down messily in his almost indescifrable handwriting:

Holi-date No Strings Attached Rule Book

Can I come over tonight.xx

Your eyes roll to the back of your head in annoyance, upon reading the text from Sangyeon. Of course, he hadn’t contacted you for over a week and the only time he decides to do so is when he’s in need of a good fuck. You throw your phone down on the table, resting your forehead against it. An annoyed sound falling out of your lips.

“Hello there negative nancy,” Kevin says, slipping into the seat in front of you. “I got you your favorite.” He sings, placing the iced matcha green tea latte in front of you and flicking the top of your head to get your attention.

You whine, lifting your head up a pout evident on your lips as you break the seal of the plastic lid with your paper straw. A poor attempt to reduce the consumption of plastic. Changing the straw wouldn’t do anything for the Earth when your whole cup is made out of non-biodegradable plastic. Maybe it’s the effort and the thought that counts, either way you take a sip from your drink, savoring the taste as it coats your tastebuds. Letting the false promise of a full six hour surge of energy run down your throat.

“Thank you for buying today.” You nod.

“It’s the least I can do for helping me with the web design project.” He smiles an award winning smile before bringing his hot mug of black coffee up to his lips. Hissing from the heat and cringing at the taste. Just like how he couldn't phantom how you liked the vibrant green liquid, you couldn’t understand how he drank five cups of black coffee daily. Indeed, he was not human, you concluded that a couple years ago.

You shrug, wrapping your fingers around the cup, “I had time to spare, but don’t get too comfortable with my help. It’s rare that I finish my work early.” You point an accusatory finger at him, furrowing your eyebrows before breaking into a wide smile.

“Ehh,” Kevin shrugs, “we’ll see about that when you’re begging me to buy you one of those nasty vomit colored drinks in a week.” He finishes sending you a wink that usually has all the girls and guys weak in the knees. You on the other hand have been so accustomed to his flirty ways after years of working side by side that it did nothing to you but annoy you slightly, yet in some odd way it comforted you.

Since day one everything between you and Kevin was comfortable and easy. He sat next to you in your digital marketing class Sophomore year of college and the two of you had been inseparable ever since. For a while you harbored a fat silent crush on him, his flirting being a point of confusion for you back then. It wasn’t until you experienced first hand what dating Kevin would be like that your crush dissipated into nothing but a platonic kind of love.

It was awful, the two of you had only gone on two dates. Two very disastrous and nightmare inducing dates, that sent shivers up both of your spines when just the mere thought of it entered the front lobe of your brains. It was then, while attempting to wash out a red wine stain out of your white dress in his and Jacob’s kitchen that you both agreed to just being friends. Eventually leading up to being coworkers as well.

It was a shame, you could always see yourself possibly loving Kevin and it would be easy too. And as much as you’d like to imagine it sometimes, he wouldn’t be able to give you what you wanted and vice versa.

“How’s the boyfriend, trouble in paradise yet?” He raises his eyebrow at you, hitting your calf lightly with the tip of his dress shoe.

You groan, running a hand through your hair, “Sangyeon is not my boyfriend, we just hang out sometimes.”

You quirks an eyebrow, smirking, “That’s what I said about Jacob and I, and look at us now.” He raises his left hand wiggling his ring ringer, letting the gold band catch the light of the setting sun. “Till death do us apart or something like that.” He shrugs, taking another sip from his coffee.

“Yeah but you two are perfect for each other, Sangyeon and I are like water and oil we don’t mix unless, well...you know.”

“Unless the two of you are fucking? Yes I am aware, the horror of me walking in on the two of you last month still keeps me up at night.” He shudders, pushing his half empty mug away from him. A disgusted look on his face.

“Ugh,” you put your head in your hands in utter despair, “I thought we agreed to forget about that and move on.”

“Fine I won’t bring it up again,” He rolls his eyes and sits back, crossing his arms in front of him. “But I know there’s trouble in paradise, does it have to do with what happened at the reception?”

You stare at him with wide eyes. It wasn’t just the events that took place at the reception. It was everything before the reception, during the reception and after the reception. You swore to yourself and him the morning after the two of you first accidentally slept together that you would never fall for him. But as it turns out, you had fallen for him long before that, a moment lost in time. A moment you couldn’t pinpoint but you just knew that what you felt for him was more than platonic. It sucked.

“Maybe,” you shrug, stirring the contents of your drink with your paper straw, distracting you and avoiding Kevin’s look of concern. “Honestly, I’m not sure. He’s just so frustrating. We agreed to have rules to make this whole fucked up situation less of a mess, but he broke two of those rules that night, purposely. I could tell that he was enjoying it.” You let out a defeated sigh and push your drink out of the way, bringing your arms to rest on top of the table, crossing them and hiding your face in them. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact emotion you were feeling, but you just knew it was bad from the way your throat closed up and the tears that were brimming in the corner of your eyes.

Kevin hummed and leaned forward onto the table, ruffling your hair in the process. “And what rule have you broken?” He whispers.

“The one in which I wasn’t supposed to fall for him.” You lift your head, digging your palms into your eyes forcefully. “I didn’t want to, I still don’t want to, but I can’t stop. It’s like he’s casted some kind of love spell on me. Maybe it’s part of his evil plan to destroy me once and for all.” You sigh, grabbing your phone and turning it over. The text sitting there unread, haunting you.

“Don’t answer it.” Kevin covers your screen with his hand. The sadness he held for you is evident behind his soft eyes. “I know you want to but don’t answer it. It’s only going to make you feel worse and frankly I still hate seeing you cry.”

He’s right. Answering him would only make you feel smaller than you already do. You didn’t want to see him, but you longed to have him hold you even if it meant nothing to him. You push Kevin’s hand away, swiping your thumb over the text, hitting reply. You know you should listen to your best friend, but there’s a reason why the two of you would’ve never made it far in a romantic relationship.

You were stubborn and never listened.

8pm, don’t be late. I have to wake up early tomorrow.

Kevin sighs, shaking his head in disappointment, falling back in his chair, scoffing. “Last time, tonight will be the last time and then we break it off.” You say, avoiding his eyes.

“That’s exactly what I said and I ended up having a shotgun wedding.”

Can’t wait, miss you.xx

“My job’s having an event for Valentine’s Day.” Sangyeon broke the silence, his chest still rising rapidly, matching yours. As you came down from your highs.

The second he had walked in through your front door he was pinning you against your poor excuse of a dining room table, without a proper greeting. He barely gave you a second to think before he was peeling your clothes off in a haste and carrying you off to your room.

“And you want me to go with you?” You turn your head to face him. He was laying down on his side, his head resting on his arm, watching you cautiously.

“Mhm,” He puts his arm around your waist and pulls you close. “I need a plus one, I have this annoying coworker that doesn’t leave me alone. I figured if I brought you along they would back off.”

“So I’m not just your date, but also your cockblock?” You tilt your head to the side, raising your eyebrow. “What happens when they find out we aren’t actually dating?” You poke his chest with your index finger. It was smooth and muscular and decorated with the beautiful marks you left behind a few minutes ago.

“They won’t.” He smiled leaving a light kiss against your neck, trailing his lips up and sucking on the spot he knew would have you moaning in seconds. “What do you say?” He bites your earlobe, pulling it before sitting up again.

You sigh and bring your sheets up to your body, sitting up. “I can't, I have plans already.” You lie hugging your knees up to your chest. You wanted to go, pretend once more that you and Sangyeon were more than holiday dates and fuck buddies. But you couldn’t put yourself through that anymore. You were getting used to being by his side, living out a fantasy in your head. When all he wanted was a quick fuck and an easy pass.

“I have a date, Kevin and Jacob’s friend.” You shrug, closing your eyes, mentally apologizing to the couple for dragging them into your problem’s once again. “We’re going out to dinner.” You finish, opening your eyes and looking over at Sangyeon who laid there, messy hair decorating his pillows, stunned. You knew what he was thinking and you were just waiting for him to say it. To get it over with so he’d leave as fast he came in.

He chewed on his bottom lip and then scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Oh, what about rule number seven or whatever.” He quickly got up from your bed, letting the sheets covering his lower half fall down to your carpeted floor.

As common courtesy for the other party, under absolutely no circumstances you are to date other people, until officially calling the deal off.

“Well, I don’t know. I like him. We’ve been talking for a while now and he’s sweet. He likes me.” You shrug, watching as he walks around your room looking for his discarded clothes. “And I haven’t broken the rule, yet. I was hoping we could talk about it and just call this whole thing off once and for all.”

“No but you broke rule number one or something.” He puts on his boxers fast and digs through your scattered clothes on your floor for the rest of his clothes.

You sat there silently watching him, running through your memory files as you recalled the rules and what rule number one consisted of which had nothing to do with what you had done. Or lied about doing.

As common courtesy for the other party, always use protection.

“That’s not what rule number one is, it’s -”

“Whatever, you broke a rule before calling it quits, you were basically cheating on me.” He yells, leaving his white washed jeans unbuttoned as he runs a frustrated hand through his hair. You were floored, witnessing an angry Sangyeon wasn’t rare for you. In fact, growing up you had been the product of many of his angry outbursts while inducing your revenge, but it was never serious. This was different. This felt different. This was serious, he was accusing you of something you didn’t do. He was accusing you of doing the one thing you saw him do at your brother’s wedding reception. It made your blood boil.

“That’s fucking rich coming from you, when you cheated on me first, but I never brought it up because although you fucking did break a rule. We are not together so who am I to get angry at you?” You threw your hands up in the hair, before pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Who are you to get angry with me?”

“And they were a good fucking lay, much better than you in every single aspect.” He spits out, angrily putting on his shirt. His words hurt. He was hitting you where it hurts the most and he wasn’t even aware of it. You held his gaze, refusing to break down in front of him.

“Why not ask them instead, why didn’t you go to them tonight instead of coming here?”

He shrugs, looking around your room, focusing on the polaroid pictures you kept on your mirror. Anything was better than looking at you, and the tears pooling in yours in which he undoubtedly was the cause of. But he was hurt too, you let him come over, you let him in and he had given you everything. Poured out his unwarranted feelings into every kiss he left on your body and every pattern he painted onto your skin with his delicate fingertips, just like he always did whenever the two of you got together. He knew he had broken rule number six a long time ago. Back when the two of you were still in high school, when the rules didn’t exist and his crush on you was nothing compared to what he felt for you now. But he was scared of telling you, and it had gotten him nowhere.

His heart still broke just like he feared, and even worse he had broken yours too.

“Maybe I should, this was a mistake. Being with you in the first place was a mistake and I knew it was going to bite me in the ass one day.”

“Get out, I never want to see you again.”

“With pleasure.” Sangyeon turns around and walks out the door. It wasn’t until you heard your front door slam shut that you finally let yourself cry.

You should’ve listened to Kevin.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Jacob pulls his scarf around his neck. Though, it was February it had snowed last night. The winter clothes that you had slowly started putting away, swiftly made their comeback when you woke up shivering that morning.

You shake your head, stuffing the heart shaped cake you had made for both him and Kevin the day before. Be mine inscribed in sparkly purple store bought icing as per request from Jacob, “It’s Valentine’s Day, you should spend it alone together.” You raise your eyebrows suggestively at the two men in front of you.

Kevin leans forward, one hand on his waist while the other one moves up and flicks your forehead, “get that pretty head of yours out of the gutter, Jacob and I are gonna romantically eat our weight in this beautiful cake you’ve made us, while watching the Bring it On series.”

“I’m trying to get him to realize why the third one is the best.” Jacob says pointedly, bumping his shoulder against his husbands. “Solange Knowles steals the show, but he doesn’t want to admit it.”

Kevin scoffs and turns to face him, “I love you and I love your love for the Knowles family but face it babe the best Bring it On movie is the first one, it sets the precedent for all the other movies.” He finishes painting the picture out with his hands in the air before kissing the others cheek.

You shake your head, silently giving Jacob a knowing look. Of course the third Bring it On was the best one, but you won’t ever say that out loud. At least not with Kevin present, he won’t ever let you live it down. Will go on and on about how both you and Jacob were wrong until he was repeating himself.

“It sounds tempting but I’m going to pass, I have my own date with my couch and heart shaped pizza and -”

“Your vibrator.” Kevin interrupts, raising his eyebrows, smiling smugly at you. The embarrassment taking over your body and rising out of your ears. Jacob rolled his eyes, hitting his husband’s upside the head, and a warning look. Kevin pouted, “What? I’m not wrong, that's what she does every Valentine’s day, I’m just stating the truth.” He complains rubbing the back of his head.

“We’re going to go now.” Jacob places both of his arms on top of Kevin’s shoulders, mouthing a sorry in the process. You brush him off, “the offer still stands, if you get bored you can join us.” He opens the door and pushes his husband through the door frame.

“I’m good, have fun and no Kevin you can’t sleep on my couch after Jacob’s kicked you out again.”

“Wasn’t planning on it, last time, I walked in on you and San -”

Jacob covers his mouth with wide eyes as he continues to push him out of your front door, Kevin shrinks at the realization that he almost slipped. It had been three weeks since you last met him, since he last reached out to you. The only thing you knew of him was that your mom had called you to tell you that he had finally gotten the promotion he had been desiring for almost a year. Doting over him like she always did. It had gotten worse when the two of you showed up hand in hand at New Year’s last year. You were proud of him. You wanted to hug him and celebrate his achievement in every which way you could. But you meant it when you told him that you didn’t want to see him again. You couldn’t trust yourself or your heart when it came to him.

“We love you, call us if you need anything.” Jacob said, sending you a kiss and shutting your front door. You smiled, listening to their bickering out in the hallway, standing there until they were far away and you couldn’t hear them anymore. They were characters, the two of them and even worse when they were together. It was why they were so perfect for one another, they completed one another in every sense of the word and it made you insanely happy, but also sad.

Sometimes you wished, whenever you were alone at night and staring up at your popcorn ceiling that you could have what they had with someone that loved you to the point in which they couldn’t live without you.

It will come, at least that what you told yourself whenever the tears stopped. You just had to be patient.

You were halfway through an episode of the Vampire Diaries, and your fourth slice of pizza when the knocking on your front door sounded. You rolled your eyes, quickly pausing your show and setting down your half eaten pizza slice in the box, before standing up. You obviously weren’t expecting anyone but you figured it was Kevin after getting kicked out again. It was never serious, this game both he and Jacob played. It was some form of twisted foreplay thing they did to keep things interesting. They had explained it to you once when you shared your concern for their relationship. Sometimes you wished you hadn’t asked. You could’ve gone living your life peacefully without knowing the details of their sex life.

“I’m going!” The knocking became more desperate the closer you got to the door, and it confused you. Maybe this wasn’t part of their roleplay fantasies and something had actually happened. It worried you. You could feel it all over your body as you grabbed hold of your doorknob. “Kevin is something wro-” You stopped mid sentence when you swung your door wide open revealing a very drunk and disheveled Sangyeon.

You brought your hand up to your chest, holding onto the necklace his family had given you back in highschool as a graduation present. You never took it off, it brought a sense of comfort whenever you were caught in situations that had your anxiety spiraling out of control. Situations similar to this one.

“What are you doing here?” You step aside to give him room to enter, inviting him in without a shadow of a doubt. You shouldn’t have done that, but the part of you that will always care for him was stronger than the part of you that wanted nothing to do with him.

“We agreed to be together every single holiday season and it’s Valentine’s Day.” He say, his voice slurring slightly at the end, evident that he had consumed more alcohol than what he could handle. “I can’t leave you alone on Valentine’s Day.” He finishes, his voice turning small at the end. He ran a shaking hand through his hair causing it to stand up in different directions as he paced through your living room.

You pressed your hands up to your cheeks, letting the coldness of your palms relieve the heat that had suddenly overtaken your body. “B-But we broke things off, we don’t have to do this anymore.” You drop your hands down and point at him and then at yourself, swallowing the lump that was forming in the back of your throat. “Don’t you have an event at work? What are you doing here?”

Sangyeon looks down, taking his lips in between his teeth, “I didn’t go.” He whispers before raising his head, his eyes welling up with tears as he stuffed his trembling hands into the pocket of his white washed jeans. You swore he didn’t own another pair. “I couldn’t go without you. I-I want to spend Valentine’s Day with you and the rest of upcoming holidays...But I also want to take you out on dates and binge watch shows with you and make love to you and hold you while you sleep. I want to wake up with you in my arms, and kiss you while you’re complaining about morning breath and make you breakfast.” He takes a shuddering deep breath before sitting down on the armrest of your couch, digging his thumb into the palm of his hands. “I just want to be with you forever.” He says, clearing his throat before letting the few tears he had been keeping fall.

“Sangyeon I-” You looked around your living room frantically. Your heart was beating out of your chest. The words that had fallen out of Sanyeon’s lips with ease were the last thing you had expected to ever hear him say. It was everything you had longed to hear him say for almost a year now and you didn’t know how to react. Should you tell him to leave to give you some space to take everything in? Or should you run up to him and kiss with all the love and passion you harbored for him? You were caught at the crossroads. was overwhelming.

Sangyeon scoffed, shaking his head before raising it again, turning his head to focus on your tv, avoiding your eyes. “You don’t have to say anything. I know you don’t feel the same way, I just couldn’t keep it in anymore. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids and I don’t know when you told me that you were seeing someone. I was so angry at myself for never being able to just confess and hurt that I had been too late.”

The air in your lungs caught itself in the back of your throat. You walked towards him quickly crouching down in front of him, taking his hands in yours. “Sangyeon look at me.” You swallowed, placing two of your fingers underneath his chin and guiding his head to face you, finally locking eyes with you. You felt so weak and full of energy, ready to kiss him until the two of you died from lack of air and you wanted to laugh. “We’re so stupid Sangyeon. This entire time I thought you only wanted me for sex while I slowly fell for you and now you’re telling me that you had the hots for me since we were kids...wow.” You smile, swiping your thumb underneath his eyelids wiping away his falling tears. “I’ve loved for a long time. I don’t know when I started to love you. Just that when I realized it I couldn’t stop.”

“‘I’m sorry.” He hiccups, his fingers wrapping around your wrist. “I’m sorry for what I did at your brother’s reception, but I swear on my grave that nothing happened between us. They were drunk so I called them an uber and walked them to their ride when it arrived.” He confesses, leaning down and circling his arms around your waist, guiding you to stand up.

He rests his forehead against your stomach sighing. “There’s never been anyone else for me other than you. You make me feel so stupid and frustrated sometimes. I know I shouldn’t have said the things I did that night, like you said I had no right to bud into your love life and being angry is no excuse but I was scared of losing you.” He looks up, his bright eyes pleading. “I’m still scared of losing you.”

You sniffle, bringing your hand up to his head, letting your fingers thread through his already messy hair, “I’m sorry too for lying. Clearly I had no plans.” You laugh lightly, pointing around your living room. “I had somehow convinced myself that lying about seeing someone else would be an easier way to end things, but it hurt so much seeing you leave knowing that there was a possibility I would never see you again.”

Sangyeon laughs, his shoulders shaking gently before he leaves a chaste kiss against your clothed stomach. “Honestly, that would be impossible, we’ve been practically married since the minute we entered this world.” He stands up, towering a couple inches over you, “If I hadn’t come tonight our moms would have forced us to talk sooner or later, I just got a little too drunk and beat them to it.” He presses a kiss against your head before pulling you into a tight hug, sighing happily. “I never want to be without you.”

You nod against his chest, “Will you remember this tomorrow?” It was a thought that had been running through your mind since his confession hit you full force knocking the wind out of your body. Though the few times you had a drunk Sangyeon in your presence he remembered every single tiny detail the next day. This was just your fear taking full charge at the thought of him waking up next to you confused, and walking out again.

He hummed, smoothing his hands down your back. “I’ll write everything that happened down and in detail. I’ll even describe the look on your face when I told you that I loved you. Which by the way have I told you that I love you...a lot.” He teased, leaning back and wiggling his brows.

You leave a light kiss on his chin before pulling away, unraveling his arms from your body. “I love you too.” You walked around him and sat on the couch picking up the remote. “Want to join me?” You tilt your head, your thumb hovering over the play button.

Sangyeon pouts slightly, copying your movements and sitting down next to you. “I haven’t asked you to be my official girlfriend yet.”

“Ask me in the morning, I want you to ask me when you’re sober.” You smile, kissing his lips lightly and wrapping your arm around his waist, leaning your head against his chest.

He makes a sound of approval, placing his arm around your shoulder, “Okay but I have another confession before you press play.”

“What is it?” You press your cheek against his chest before looking up at him confused.

“I already watched this episode, Elena and Damon get into a fight.”

“Don’t they always.”

“Yeah but I don’t want to watch it again.”

You shrug and press play, “Unfortunately, you have infiltrated my Valentine’s Day plans so you’re stuck watching.”

“I did it in the name of love.” He groans, shifting and pulling one of your legs over his lap, holding you closer, as the snarky remarks between the two characters start, sounding loudly through the speakers he had helped install when you first moved into your place three years ago. He almost told you he loved you that day, but then you had put an ice cube down his back and his mind instantly started thinking of ways to get his revenge. His confession hiding away again.

But now it was out in the open and finally he could love you the way he knew he could. The way you deserved.

“And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”