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autumnsart22 · 4 years ago

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Suna x reader: Final part (smut)

Here’s the final part to my Suna series! I wasn’t satisfied with my fluff version of the ending (which you can read here if you’re interested) so I decided to write a more smutty version.

Warning: degradation, angry sex, light choking, mostly just a lot of degrading lol

I genuinely think this is the hottest fanart I’ve ever seen of him I can barely look at it without ✨butterflies✨.

Art creds go to @minghuaa_art on twitter!

Despite Kita seeing you that day in the car, Suna still asked to keep whatever was between you a secret. That was fine with you--you didn’t particularly want a boyfriend, especially with the second semester of college work picking up. You still got to see him pretty often, hooking up in his car or your dorm at least three nights a week or more. Never the frat house; apparently his roommates were annoying.

It was nice. Easy. Far easier than you ever expected friends with benefits to be. And beyond the sex, you loved talking to Suna; laying together on your tiny bed, legs tangled, while he explained the new music he was listening to, or walking together to the cafeteria as he made you laugh so hard that water came out of your nose.

The good parts were enough to overlook the bad parts. At first.

Suna was an abnormally horrific texter, barely ever responding within the day, if at all. If you ever wanted to get in contact with him, you’d have to call directly. And honestly even then he didn’t have the best track record.

What was more frustrating was that it was always on his time. He would text you asking to hang out that night, and you would say yes, and then he wouldn’t respond until the following afternoon with some vague excuse about being busy. The first few times it happened, you got so mad that you didn’t respond to his calls, until he showed up at your dorm with panda express and forced you to watch Tokyo Ghoul with him.

He had apologized...but it didn’t stop happening. It made you feel like you were some sort of side whore, who he called when he was bored and had nothing better to do. Like you were second best to everything else he had going on in his life.

You had promised yourself from the beginning that you wouldn’t allow yourself to get close enough to get hurt, but it was hard. You really, really liked him.

You liked the way he would stare at you while you talked, actually listening and curious as to what you had to say. You liked the way he hugged you after a few days of not seeing each other, burying his face in your hair like he couldn’t get close enough to you. You liked the way he laughed, both the usual, quiet chuckles and the rare snorting wheezes. You liked the way his mouth looked when he smoked, the way he moaned your name when he came, the way he could make you laugh at anything at any time.

You didn’t want to get the “I told you so” talk from Kiyoko, so you avoided the topic all together: with her, and yourself.

After one month of hanging out with Suna, you were planning on meeting up and going to see a movie. Both of you were more homebodies, preferring to stay in rather than party, but you had decided that you wanted to try and expand your horizons once again. The movies seemed like a happy compromise.

The film was something Suna had been talking about for a while, an action thriller that honestly looked like shit but got good audience reviews because of all the flashy fight scenes. He had been so excited when it came out that you hadn’t been able to say no to going, especially not after he pried you with food.

He was coming to get you at 6 pm, and your last class ended at 3pm, which gave you plenty of time to get ready. You stared at the face of your teacher on the screen within your zoom class, zoning out as he explained the flood system around the school. You glanced over as your phone buzzed, a message from Suna popping up on the screen.

Suna

Wha u doying rit now?

You

What?

Suna

Sorr little drynk

You

You’re drunk?

Suna

im at psrty

You

Are we still seeing a movie tonight?

There was no response, and you felt your stomach drop. You didn’t even notice as your teacher ended class and logged you off the meeting. Suna was at a party at 3 in the afternoon, drunk, and didn’t seem to remember you had plans. You swallowed, shoving your phone aside as you ground your teeth. Why was he so frustrating?

You stood up, angry at yourself for caring, furious at Suna for making you feel this way, for being such a piece of shit. You knew what party he was probably at--Kiyoko had said she was going at some point--and suddenly you were moving before you could think about it.

You dressed nice, but casual enough that it wasn’t out of place at a frat party. Sexy enough to make him want you though, of course.

You didn’t give yourself time for nerves as you strode from your dorm and headed in the direction of the frat house, following a steady stream of people already going in that direction. You knew it was Friday, but how the fuck were so many people already getting ready to party when it was literally 3:30????

It wasn’t overly crowded in the house when you entered, but enough where it was confusing as you wandered through the crowd. You snatched two drinks from the counter, downing them as fast as possible as you searched for Suna in the crowd. You’d need to be at least tipsy before having this confrontation.

You found him in the living room, sprawled out on the couch next to who you recognized to be Akaashi, Kuroo, Kita, and Iwaizumi--all who you knew through Kiyoko. There were a few others you didn’t know, and they were all clearly drunk out of their minds.

As you entered the room, Suna met your eyes for a brief moment, but then they moved on without a reaction. He didn’t care at all that you had come to find him, or that he had never responded to your text.

The drink in your hand trembled, and you walked out of the room without looking back.

Instead of talking to Suna, you decided to get wasted. An hour after first coming to the party, you were deep in a game of beer pong and you had a pleasant warmth in your gut, the world a little hazy. You felt braver, more angry, and suddenly all you wanted to do was track down that yellow eyed idiot and slap him.

“Where’s Suna?” You slurred, turning to look at your partner at beer pong. You knew him vaguely as one of the frat boys, Suna’s friend Atsumu.

Atsumu grinned, raising his eyebrows as he stared down at you. “Suna? Why?”

You weren’t drunk enough to tell him of your “friendship” with Suna, so you just shrugged.

“He’s over there,” Atsumu pointed towards the kitchen, and you felt all the blood drain from your face as you followed his gaze. Sitting in a chair, his back to you, was Suna...and on his lap was a beautiful blonde girl with her hands in his hair as she kissed him fiercely.

You must have made some sort of sound, because Atsuma looked back at you. “You good?”

You forced yourself to nod. “I’m...going to go get some fresh air.”

“I’ll come,” he said, and you decided not to argue.

Seeing Suna had sobered you up considerably, but your emotions were still a complete mess. All you could feel was a deep, unending hurt.

As you headed down the hall, Atsumu grabbed your wrist and spun you around to face him. “So...you and Suna huh?” He said, a strange smile on his face.

“What are you--?”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to keep it a secret.” He took a step towards you, and you raised your eyebrows.

“We aren’t together.”

“Really? Then you wouldn’t mind,” He gently took your chin, lifting your face. “If I did this?”

“I--”

“What the fuck.”

All the breath wooshed out of you at the familiar voice, which was now laced with anger. Suna stood a few feet away, his hands in his pockets as he watched you and Atsumu. He was smiling, but it was icy with rage and...jealousy?

“Suna,” Atsumu grinned, releasing your face but not stepping back. “What do you want?”

Suna jerked his chin in your direction. “How about you get away from her, and then we’ll talk?”

“Dude,” Atsumu rolled his eyes. “She just told me she was single. I don’t get what the problem is.”

Suna’s face tightened. “If you don’t get the fuck out of here in the next three seconds, I swear I will break your--”

“Chill, ok!” Atsumu stepped back from you, given you a frustrated look before heading away down the hall.

When he was out of sight, Suna’s head slowly turned to face you, his eyes dark. “Single?” His voice was a low snarl.

You swallowed, feeling your anger return full force. How dare he. “Yes!” You snapped, “Since you clearly don’t view this as any sort of relationship.”

“What are you talking about?”

“So you can go off kissing other girls, but I can’t flirt with Atsumu?”

“Looked like a bit more than flirting,” he said, teeth bared, before the other part of what you said caught up to him. “And how drunk are you? I wasn’t kissing shit!”

“Are you seriously lying to my face right now? I saw you!”

“I didn’t kiss anyone! Do you really think that little of me?”

You clenched your fists. “Atsumu said--”

Suna was in your face in a second, towering over you as he backed you against the wall. “What did he say?” He growled.

You clenched your jaw, glaring at him in silence.

Suna gave a dark chuckle. “So that’s how it’s going to be, huh?”

You barely had time to react before he gripped your chin, kissing you roughly and shoving his tongue in your mouth. You moaned, and the sound snapped whatever restraints Suna had. His hands ran down the back of your thighs, lifting you up so you could wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you through the nearest door into a random bedroom. He kissed down your neck as he kicked the door shut, and you gasped as he tossed you on the bed.

Your eyes slid down his chest and across his toned stomach as he pulled his shirt over his head, completely at a loss for what to do. You could feel the heat pulsing between your legs, making your heart race and your body tremble. But this was wrong. Right?

You didn’t have anymore time to think about it as Suna gripped your ankles, dragging you to the end of the bed.

“Why do you still have clothes on?” He snarled, yanking your leggings off and leaving them in a tangled mess on the floor. His eyes darkened as they swept over the pair of lacy underwear you had worn, sliding towards your center where you kept your thighs clenched tightly together.

He didn’t say a word as he forced your legs apart, dropping to his knees at the end of the bed, yanking down your underwear, and positioning one of your legs over his shoulder. You shuddered as his hot breath caressed you, and he ran lazy circles along the inside of your thighs with his long fingers.

“Fuck…” He murmured under his breath before looking up at you. “Do you want me to--”

“Stop teasing me Suna,” you groaned, shifting your hips, and he laughed darkly.

“Fine.”

You practically screamed at the first sweep of his tongue, managing to turn your face into a pillow to muffle your noises as he worked around your clit and used his fingers in your core. You bucked your hips up into his face, and his laughter vibrating through your body almost had you coming within the first minute.

You let out a low cry of protest as he pulled away, raising his head to glare at you. His mouth was covered in your juices, his hair rumpled and eyes glassy. He leaned over you, yanking away the pillow you had been using to cover your mouth and throwing it across the room.

“What are you--”

“I want to hear you begging for it,” he snapped, and you managed to roll your eyes before he shoved his fingers back into you.

“You’re so--ah!” You shuddered.

Over the course of a month of fucking each other, Suna had figured out exactly how to make you fall apart under his tongue and fingers, so it didn’t take long for him to work you into an early climax. Your legs shook, and you let out a series of moans as you came all over his mouth.

He got to his feet after making sure he had licked you completely clean, gazing down at you with possessive smugness.

“Why do you look so fucked out already? We’ve barely gotten started.”

You didn’t even argue as you got onto your knees on the bed, hands sliding into his hair as you kissed him angrily, unsaid words erupting. He allowed you to shove him onto the bed, and you focused on unzipping his pants and throwing them aside, ditching your shirt and bra along with it. His boxers went next, and then you had his dick in your hands, stroking it while Suna groaned.

“Here,” he panted, tossing you a condom, and you slid it over his cock just like he taught you. You positioned yourself over him, impatient, your knees on either side of his hips as you thrust yourself down on him in one go. You both moaned at the feeling of finally having him inside you.

“F-fuck,” you gasped, slowly rolling your hips as you rested your hands lightly on Suna’s chest. You went slow, taking the time to feel how deep he reached inside you, the movement on your clit enough to send tingles up the rest of your body.

Suna watched you ride him lazily, his yellow eyes half closed as he took in the way your naked body shifted to move on top of him.

“Ha, you’re doing so good...god--you’re so fucking sexy,” he groaned, and you glared down at him.

“You make me so...mad…” You managed between pants of pleasure, and Suna raised his eyebrows.

“You can still talk? I guess I’m not doing enough…”

Before you could protest, he flipped you over so that you were lying on your back with him hovering over you, his dark hair falling around his face as he gripped your throat lightly.

“You’re such a little cumslut aren’t you?” He murmured in your ear, and you arched slightly. “Don’t you ever try and fuck someone else again, got it? You’re only allowed to come around my cock.”

You moaned in agreement, and Suna rolled you over onto your stomach, dragging your hips up so your ass was high in the air. He gave you no warning as he thrust back in, practically fucking you into the mattress.

Your eyes rolled back in your head as he used his fingers to reach around and rub your clit, his other hand running along your breast. You could barely think through the pleasure, and the only coherent word you were managing to say was his name.

Suna leaned over you, yanking your head back to murmur in your ear. “You’re mine, got it?” His words were rough, and you clenched hard around his cock. You could feel your second orgasm approaching, and he could tell too by the way you shuddered around him. He paused in his motion, and you wiggled your hips in protest, trying to get him going again.

“Why’d you stop?” You snapped, glancing over your shoulder when he didn’t continue.

Suna grinned. “Beg for it, bitch.”

He moved slightly, letting you feel the friction, and you gasped in anger and pleasure. This bastard wanted to tease you, make you submit to him…

Despite knowing this, you broke almost immediately. “Please, Suna, please please, I need you so bad--”

Immediately, he picked up his pace once again, adding more pressure to your clit, and you jerked. “That’s a good girl.”

“Ah, ah, Suna, fuck, I love-- you, ahhh…” You cried, feeling moisture spill down your thighs as your stomach erupted for the second time that night.

For a moment he stilled, and you bit your lip in tired confusion. Did he want you to beg again? You weren’t sure you had another round in you.

You looked over to see him with a shocked expression on his face, but it quickly melted into smugness again once he caught you staring at him. “Of course you love me while I’m fucking you like this,” he growled finally. “It’s because you’re such a slut for it, right?”

Your mouth dropped open, but you didn’t have time to say anything as he started moving once again, making you yelp at the overstimulation. Had you said you loved him? Out loud? Oh my god…

“Have I fucked you stupid already?” he purred in your ear, pulling out of your dripping cunt before slamming back in and picking up his pace. You moaned loudly, thrusting your hips back to meet his as all thoughts flew from your head.

“S-Suna I--” You could barely speak, it felt so good, despite the fact that you had already come. Twice.

He began to pant in your ear, groaning as his grip on your hips tightened.“F-fuck--” He grunted, arms sliding around your waist as he jerked and came.

You both collapsed on the bed, sweaty and exhausted, and Suna easily pulled the condom from his dick before tying it and tossing it in the trash. After a long moment, you rolled to your feet to padded over to where your clothes lay--until you realized that your leggings had a massive rip in them.

“Suna!” You cried, holding up the fabric. He raised his eyebrows, and had the decency to at least look vaguely guilty.

“Sorry.”

“What do I wear?!”

“Here.” He threw the shirt he had been wearing earlier at you, and you gave him a glare.

He had already wiped himself down with the tissues on the counter, and had pulled on his sweatpants once again, leaving him shirtless. His eyes swept lazily down your still naked body, his tongue coming out to wet his lips, and you crossed your arms in annoyance.

“Suna,” You snapped, but finally pulled his shirt over your head, not seeing another option. “I’m going to go get cleaned up,” you said, before heading out the door without waiting for a response.

The bathroom was thankfully right down the hall, and thankfully empty. You didn’t feel very guilty about fucking Suna when you should have been communicating in a healthy way, but you definitely still felt mad.

After you had wiped all the fluids from your inner thighs and core, you headed back to the room to grab the rest of your stuff.

You found Suna on his phone lying on the bed, but he looked up as you came in.

“Where are you going?” He said as you gathered your stuff, and you huffed.

“Back to my dorm.”

“Wait,” he lunged out of the bed and grabbed your arm. “Don’t go.”

“Now you want to spend time with me?”

“Just...stay. Please.”

You swallowed, taking a deep breath. “Fine.”

His expression relaxed into a happy smile, and he dragged you onto the bed with him before flicking out the lights. You weren’t sure what time it was exactly, but you were sure it was far past two in the morning. Your eyelids drooped as Suna wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you back against his chest.

You were right on the edge of sleep when he murmured, “Did you mean it?”

Immediately you were awake; you knew exactly what he meant. “U-um--” You hadn’t worked out any of the problems between you two, and you were sure he didn’t feel the same way. How were you supposed to admit to loving him like this?

“It’s fine,” he finally muttered. “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

You swallowed. “Yes. I did mean it.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but you felt Suna tense around you.

“Really?”

You closed your eyes, forcing yourself to say it. “Yes... I love you.”

You felt his sigh against your air, ticking the little hair on the back of your neck. His hand slid across your stomach while the other gently began to stroke your hair, and the movement had you relaxing despite the tears that had built up at his lack of response.

You closed your eyes and set it aside; you would deal with it tomorrow. Now, it was time for sleep.

“I love you too.” You heard, so soft that it was almost just a breath of air.

It was probably just a dream.

#suna #suna x reader #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintarō #haikyuu suna #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyu x reader #fanfiction #fandom #fanfic #smut

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comfortmarvelimagines · 5 years ago

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when you can’t find the quiet part 6

im baaaaackkkkkk !!!! so so so sorry that this took so long. i can’t put into words the sheer amount of shit that’s happened to me in the past few months. hope this at least partially makes up for it (i know it can’t fully, and im sorry)]

tw for near meltdown, self injurious stimming and use of the r slur

Can you please do an autistic!reader where the decathlon team has an excursion to the tower and the avengers say hi to the reader and peter and co.? then flash gets jealous and does something mean,,, some angst resolved with fluff (preferably by mama nat), if not that’s okay

Most kids loved field trips. Even the boring ones.

Regardless of where it was, a field trip was a break to the mundanity of school. There was increased opportunity for socialising, decreased work demands (no notes to be taken!), and most likely improved lunch options to what the cafeteria typically had to offer. Add on to that the fact that Stark Industries was arguably The Coolest Place on the Planet to the nerds of Midtown and you have a perfect storm of excitement. It seemed that the field trip was all everyone was talking about. Even Peter wouldn’t shut up about how cool it was, despite the fact that he practically lived at the tower.

You came to the conclusion that you were the only kid in the decathlon team that absolutely did not want to go.

Field trips were a change in routine. You didn’t know the exact schedule of when things were happening, or what exactly was going to happen. For all your google street-viewing, there was only so much you could find out about what the place would look like, what was inside, whereabouts your group would be visiting. You didn’t know what the buses there would be like, who you’d sit with, what teachers would be on your bus, how many kids would be in each tour group, what time you’d stop to eat lunch, whether the buses would leave on time when it was over. There were so many unpredictabilities, and no one ever seemed to be able to answer your questions.

Logically, you figured that Stark Industries should be alright, as far as field trips go. You’ve been there before, you know Tony and Nat and Bucky; in theory, you should be okay. You’re okay when you go there after school, and on weekends with Peter. But going there at a different time, to a different part of the building and with more people (including Flash) made you just as anxious as you would be for any other excursion. Which is why you tried everything to get out of it. Started acting ‘sick’ days beforehand, isolating yourself, not talking to anyone, hoping that your absence would be considered a normality by the time the day of the trip rolled around. Only it didn’t work, and you opened the door to an overly bubbly trio of friends bright and early on Wednesday morning.

“Hey Y/n, you excited for the trip?” Ned, unsurprisingly, was bouncing with excitement, topped off with a garishly conspicuous Stark Industries cap. Every inch the tourist.

Every inch the opposite of how you were feeling.

You stood in the doorway at a complete loss. You’d fully intended to stay cooped up in your room all day in your pyjamas, watching random shit on Youtube. The message to the group chat saying that you ‘weren’t feeling well’ was already half composed and ready to send. You’d played the part perfectly, casually mentioning symptoms of illness for days in preparation. But, somehow, you’d made friends with some of the most observant and persistent people you’d ever met. Which for the most part was great, but now it had you wishing the ground would open and swallow you whole.

You didn’t resist much as MJ marched her way over the threshold and started pulling an outfit out of your wardrobe, ushering you into the bathroom to get changed. It wouldn’t have worked. All three of them seemed to know what you were planning on doing and were prepared. By the time you’d thrown on the clothes and haphazardly cleaned yourself up, Peter and Ned had sorted out your backpack with all of the things you used to help deal with the input of bustling New York; noise cancelling headphones, a fidget cube, a bumpy tangle, a squishy dinosaur toy. Seeing as no one would be carrying books or laptops on the excursion, you knew they’d all have smaller bags, but you had your normal sized one. The size and weight and familiarity was comforting. You hoisted it over your shoulders and trudged out the door, dread settled in the depths of your stomach, right hand tapping the side of your thigh.

***

By the time you arrived at Midtown High and saw the charter bus pulling up outside, the tapping had increased to borderline punching. Ned went to grab your wrist to pull it away, but you turned. The ache in your thigh was the only thing keeping you from running, and you couldn’t explain why. Words weren’t working by that point. The bus ride didn’t improve much; even with headphones on, you could still feel the vibration of the engine running through your toes, resonating upwards, and even the highest noise cancelling setting wasn’t enough to drown out your excited teammates and their impatient chatter. Peter had made sure that the four of you got the bench seat at the back of the bus so that you could all sit together, but you were still mad that they’d made you go. Didn’t they get it?

Things didn’t improve upon arrival. The staff member with you on the trip was a substitute, as Mr Harrington had other school commitments on the day, and you’d never met her before. A fact that became an issue when she made you take your headphones off when the tour guide turned up, and confiscated them when you were reluctant (despite your friends’ protestations and frantic attempts and explanation). The tour guide herself was nice enough- you’d seen her in the lobby a few times on your way in and out of the tower- but it wasn’t enough to balance out the chaos of the crowded public space. You made it no further than the elevator before pressing your hands over your ears. Hoodie over your head. Eyes half closed. It felt almost cruel that the sensory room, your safe space, was in the same building yet inaccessible.

Unbeknownst to you, Nat was well aware of the fact that you and Peter were visiting. She’d waited for FRIDAY to announce your presence before heading to the floor she knew the tour would start on, planning to ‘casually’ greet you. She knew about the bullying. She knew about the harassment that Flash gave Peter over the legitimacy of the internship, the deplorable things he’d said to you. And she fully intended to scare the crap out of Flash in the hopes of getting him to leave her kids alone, god damn it. He was the first person she spotted from down the corridor. She knew he was a dick, but nothing could have prepared her for the sight of Flash live streaming. Phone outstretched, voice raised.

God, the ego of this kid.

Your group started moving forwards as she headed towards you. She didn’t say much.

“Hey Pete, hey Y/n”

The look on Flash’s face was priceless.

“Y-you know the retard and friends?”

Nat stared, waiting.

“You mean Penis has a real internship?”

It felt like your guts were fighting to explode out of your body. You pressed your nails into the palms of your hands, in the crease beneath your knuckles. The bluntness of the nails did little to help.

“That’s enough.”

You willed your body to stay still, not stim not scream not run.

“Does this school’s policy tolerate that kind of language?”

“Uhh-”

“Yes or no?”

“I’m only a substitute, I’m not familiar with-”

You pressed the heels of your hands to your ears, fingers still curled. It wasn’t enough to make it quiet.

“Fine. Eugene?”

Don’t want to listen don’t want to listen. Don’t scream don’t stim stay still.

“Expect there to be consequences. I know about the bullying.”

You turned and walked back down the hallway, retracing the way you came in. Your heels dug into the floor and you walked stiffly, awkwardly, elbows locked straight at your sides in attempt to keep yourself from reverting to punching your thighs.

Nat followed.

As she made her way past the group, she discreetly directed the tour guide to carry on. If you did reach the point of a meltdown, which she was hoping you wouldn’t for your sake, she didn’t want an audience.

You were headed towards an R&D lab, full of SI employees, which wasn’t a particularly good option either. She noticed your hands bouncing, slapping your thighs, walking still stiff and jilted, the effort going suppressing everything evident down to the way you breathed. You heard footsteps behind you but didn’t realise they were Nat’s until she called out.

“Y/n”

You skipped a step, but didn’t stop. You just wanted to be alone away from everyone away from the humiliation and the teasing and the bad words and the stupid jokes you just didn’t get but everyone else did.

“Y/n, hun, just stop for me for a second.”

You did as you were told. Your body felt like it was on fire from the tension of being still. You didn’t want Nat thinking you were weird for biting your hand, so you gnawed on your lip instead, hands slightly flapping at your sides in little spinny motions.

“Okay, good job. Do you think we can take a minute to do some breathing?”

You shook your head no. No. You wanted, needed to scream and stim and run not breathe.

“Okay, I should’ve phrased that better,” Nat looked around, seemingly lost, at the ceiling. It was barely a second’s slip of her calm composure. She lowered herself to the floor and sat cross legged.

“Can you sit down with me?”

You let your legs give out, half crashing into the carpet.

“Can you give your hands a shake?” she shook her hands out in front, demonstrating.

You copied. The shake felt good, so you started properly flapping. You weren’t sure when, but at some point all self consciousness fell away and you were rocking back and forth, legs out, tension melting.

Eventually, most of the bad energy felt like it’d left your body, Your flaps turned to light taps on your knees and your rocking was much more relaxed. Now that your breathing had evened out, you were aware of how close you were to hyperventilating before. A wave of gratitude towards Nat washed over you.

“Is it okay if I touch you?” Nat asked cautiously, hand already up halfway to rub your shoulder. You shook your head. It was hard to articulate, but touch right now would probably end in you hitting Nat involuntarily. Even your clothes weren’t feeling too great, like you were hyper aware of every contact point with your skin. You were glad she asked, even though your reaction most likely wouldn’t have hurt her no matter how violent on your part. The constant assumptions and invasions of your space on a daily basis, from everyone from kids at school to medical professionals, got to a point of making you feel almost less than human. That you weren’t worth the respect, triply so if you weren’t verbal. The entire field trip experience, although not all that enjoyable, had shown you a side of Nat you hadn’t seen before. A fiercely protective, quick-witted, almost motherly side. A side that let you know you had a safe landing. A side that gave you the courage to get up off the hallway floor and face the world again.

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dacrethehalls · 5 years ago

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Wild Flowers

Summary: Samantha Harrington never expected to spend her entire spring break with Billy Hargrove and Billy Hargrove never expected to fall in love with Samantha Harrington.

Word Count: 9.9k

A/N: *RE-POSTED FROM MY OLD ACCOUNT* loosely based on the Chateau music video Dacre is in. credit to Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstine for the quotes in this, and shout out to all my faves who we name dropped in this.

******

"Hey....Emily.....No, Amanda? No-no, it's Laura!" Tommy H. sputtered, leaning against my locker. I rolled my eyes, grabbing my books and balancing against my hip.

"Tommy, we have literally been in the same class since we were seven and you still can't remember my name." I muttered, slamming my locker shut.

"Shit, it's Andy isn't it? Or is it...something that Starts with an R? Or is it a K? Kiki right?"

He could have gone on for hours guessing my name and would still get it wrong. I held up my hand, shaking my head,

"Stop before you hurt yourself. What do you want?" I asked, shifting the weight on my feet.

"Billy is busy today, he said his brother is in town or something and I was going to ask you to-"

"If you finish that sentence with 'ask Steve', I will punch you." I cut off, turning on my heel and strutting towards the parking lot.

"Aw, come on Regan lighten up! " He yelled as he ran to catch up with me.

"That's not my name either." I groaned, "Give it a rest will ya? And last time I checked, you and Steve are not friends...like... at all so go find someone else to blindly follow."

Tommy crossed his arms glaring at me,

"Oh my god. Yes, I'll talk to him."

He smiled at me as I kept walking,

"Thank you, Dot!" He yelled out as I stuck my middle finger in the air.

"That boy really needs to get his own personality." I breathed

I plod out to my car unlocking it,

"Maddie wait!" I let out a defeated groan. "What do you want Keith?"

"Can you cover my shift tonight?"

"I quit The Palace like, three weeks ago." I huffed, leaning on my car.

"And for the last time my name is Samantha. Like the show Bewitched"

"I thought your name was Krista?"

I rolled my eyes, getting in my car driving home.

******

"Not one, but seven. Seven different names Steve. All of which are nowhere close to mine." I grumbled laying across his bed.

"Sammy, relax."

"It's kinda hard to when you have lived in the same town your entire life and nobody can remember your name. Samantha." I drew my name out slowly, "It comes after 'Steve and'."

"Uh so i'm taking Dustin and the others to see a movie tonight. I won't be home until later."

"Way to change the subject, asshole."

"What?"

"I'm telling you that your friends are being pricks to me and you just mention going to the movies with some random kid."

"He's a good kid, Sam."

"Doesn't matter if he's the goddamn president of the United States, I'm telling you that something upsets me and you're blowing me off!"

"Sam, you can't let things like that upset you, okay? Now I gotta go or we'll be late for the showing."

"What I really need is to spend time with my big brother and just forget about this whole stupid thing."

"Maybe later!" He hollered, already out the bedroom door and trotting down the stairs.

I rolled my eyes, rolling onto my stomach and letting out a frustrated groan, blowing the hair away from my face.

Those were always the words I got from Steve when I asked if I could hang out with him; maybe later.

******

The next day at school was the usual, being ignored, people getting my name wrong, including teachers.

I had a nice cry at lunch in my car and ended my day in my favorite spot, a field full of wildflowers outside of the football field.

When the snow started melting away and the temperature went up I would spend my afternoon out there finishing homework and picking the flowers around me. I sat with my legs crossed, a pile of Johnny jump ups and dandelions beside me. I wound the stems together, finding the process relaxing.

"Samantha!" I jerked my head in the direction the voice came from, Billy Hargrove was striding towards me.

"Hi?" I questioned as he reached the blanket I was sitting on,

"Hey, so I was out of school for a few days," he chuckled, pointing at the disappearing bruise under his eye, "Basketball concussion, any way, we have third period chem together and I was wondering if I could copy your notes...and maybe your homework." He asked

Of course the only thing he wanted with me was to use me for my homework. At least he actually knew my name. I'll give him that. I leaned over to my bag, grabbing my chemistry notes handing them to him.

"Do you mind if I sit here with you incase I have questions? I know missing one of Mrs. Valentine's classes really means missing like, five classes. I've missed three so basically I'm fucked."

I chuckled, scooting over on my blanket to make room for him,

"Nah, Mrs. V has been out sick we've had a sub so you haven't missed much."

He offered me a soft smile, pulling his notebook put laying on his stomach, scribbling words on his paper,

"Man, you're pretty thorough, color coded and everything." He noticed, his eyes scanning over the highlighted words and pink gel pen. I hummed in acknowledgement, eyes focusing on the floral stems I held in my lap as I weaved them together.

"Jeez, I may as well just be reading the damn textbook... except at least this shit makes sense." He grumbled as he tapped his pencil against his notepad.

"Yup." I hummed, mindlessly twisting the stems around each other.

I still couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Billy Hargrove barely gave anybody the time of day, let alone me. Sure, he had his little groupies that followed him around, but they were nowhere in sight. Even Tommy was gone.

"So, uh, you got any spring break plans?" I questioned.

"Not really. My brother is in town, though."

"Billy Hargrove doesn't have any spring break plans?" I gasped, placing my hand over my heart, "What, you aren't going back to bright, sunny California?"

"Pfft, I wish." He scoffed, "Get the hell out of here. It's April and it's still cold!"

"Yeah, that's the midwest for ya." I sighed,

I plopped the flower crown I was weaving on to Billy's head making him break his concentration.

"What's this?" He huffed, poking away his curls from his face as his eyes darted up at me. His brows were knit together in confusion, almost going cross eyed as he attempted to get a walked at what was on his head.

"It's a crown." I beamed, placing the other one I made on my own head, "The purple and yellows in the flowers really bring out the blue in your eyes."

"What kind of hippie bullshit is this?" He questioned, plucking it off of his head and staring at it. Despite his gruff demeanor, I could see the blush creeping up on his cheeks.

"Oh, come on. It makes you walked... soft..." I hummed, gently taking it from his grasp and putting it back on his head.

"Soft?" He scoffed.

Of all the things he had ever been described as, it was never soft. He was more likely to hear a string of profanities and slurs directed at him than to be called soft. Hell, I was occasionally known to call him a dickhead every once in a while. Especially after what he did to my brother. I was about ready to take that spiked bat and go after the bastard myself.

"Balances out the black eye, you know? Actually... it kinda matches." I observed, staring at the eerie yellow color that crept under his eye and in towards his nose. A sign that the bruise was healing.

Billy took his crown off once again, setting it next to his notebook.

"Question." I blurted,

Billy hummed as I laid back on the blanket, looking over at him while he continued to scribble notes down.

"How the hell do you know my name?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow, staring at me, "I sit behind you in third and sixth period. I see you write it on your paper. Now your last name I don't know."

I let out a loud laugh, sitting up,

"You're kidding me right? Billy, you have to be joking."

The expression on his face led me to believe he was serious,

"Samantha Harrington, otherwise known as The Other Harrington, Steve's Sister, Hey You, Little Harrington, Dakota, Anna, Becca, any and every name that is not remotely close to Samantha." I huffed, blowing a strand of hair away from my eyes.

"You and Steve are siblings?" He pressed.

"He's a whopping 18 months older than me. My parents only wanted one kid, I was an accident. They sorta treat me that way too, the entire town does." I scoffed, rolling my eyes,

"They give me a credit card just so I wont bother them. But I don't use it. I don't need shit from them."

His eyes studied my features, eyebrow still raised as if he expected me to keep talking,

"When I graduate, I'm getting the hell out of Indiana." I sighed, fiddling with the stems of the flowers I had left in my lap.

"I want to travel, live in my car go on fun adventures with my best friend-if I had one. Find a house in a field of flowers. Make as many crowns as I want." I said, placing the flowers once again on Billy's head.

He let a grunt out in defeat as he moved the curls from his eyes once again,

"You know, if you got that cut off, you wouldn't have to keep brushing it out of your eyes." I commented.

"No way in hell I'm cutting this baby off." He replied, smoothing his hand over his hair after taking the crown off again.

I rolled my eyes for what must've been the dozenth time,

"Tommy mentioned something about your brother being in town."

Billy let out a disgusted groan,

"Unfortunately."

"That bad, huh?"

"That bad. He's the favorite son... Star football player, got a scholarship to some school he's way too stupid to attend." Billy griped.

"Does he have a better hair cut? When's the last time you brushed that rats nest?" I questioned, picking up the flower crown and placing it on his head for the hundredth time. Billy grunted in defeat, sitting up.

"According to everyone, he has a better everything then me." Billy rolled his eyes, pulling his cigarettes from his jacket pocket placing one between his lips.

"Bad habit." I scolded, taking it from his mouth and replacing it with a flower.

Billy grunted again, spitting the flower onto the ground as a dragonfly flew over us then zig zagged back, landing on Billy's shoulder. He glanced over at it with a soft expression before moving his shoulder so it would fly away.

"You know dragonflies are often thought to be loved ones coming to visit you after passing away. According to the Native Americans, they bring rejuvenation after hardship." I announced, watching another dragonfly zip past us.

Billy closed his book and sat up, "Thank you, Sam." He yawned, standing up.

"You're welcome, if you ever need my notes again just ask." I chuckled as Billy put another cigarette between his lips.

"I may take you up on that, Sam. Turn the B I have into an A." He laughed as he attempted to light his cigarette, "It's getting dark out, you okay out here by yourself? Or if you want I can walk you out to your car or give you a ride home."

"Thanks, but I might stay out here a little bit longer. The stars are almost out, I like watching them." I mused, earning a raised eyebrow from Billy.

"Okay. well, have a good spring break Sammie. Thanks again." He conceded, rocking back on his heels and heading towards the parking lot.

******

A tap at my window nearly made me jump out of my skin. I spun around in my desk chair, opening the blinds, assuming Steve was an idiot and forgot his key again. To my surprise, a familiar mullet-headed boy offered me a grin and a wave. I glanced over my shoulder to my bedroom door that was still ajar. I rushed over to close it, being careful not to slam it for fear of Steve finding out who was at my window.

I returned to the window sill, unlatching it and throwing it open. I watched as Billy climbed through my window, nearly knocking my glass of water off my night stand.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned.

"You want to travel? Go on an adventure? Let's do it." He panted, adjusting his jacket as he got his footing on the carpet.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Let's just forget about this shitty town and our shitty parents and step out of the shadow of our siblings."

I stared up at him, dumbfounded for a moment, only to notice a new bruise on his cheek. I furrowed my brows,

"Billy. What happened?"

"Don't worry about it, Sammie," He murmured, walking over to my bookshelf glancing at the books, various academic trophies, and my collection of porcelain horses.

He picked up my polaroid camera, pointing it towards me and snapping a picture of me.

"Excuse you!" I exclaimed, trying to snatch the photo out of his hand as he shook it.

"Not a chance, princess."

"Princess." I mumbled under my breath.

He placed the picture in his jacket pocket as he grinned down at me,

"Are you really that desperate to do something over spring break that you want to spend it with me? The other Harrington?" I questioned, crossing my arms.

"Sam, knock it off. You may be a little off your rocker but it's in an endearing way," Billy grinned, lifting the camera up and pointing it at me and getting into the frame as well.

"So what do you say? Hmm? Let's go on an adventure, use up some of mommy and daddy's money. Get out of Indiana or not." He clicked the shutter button, making the camera flash.

He grinned at me, placing that picture in his jacket pocket as well.

This boy was completely crazy, but I knew that Steve would be too preoccupied with the kids that decided he was the best brother figure they could find. He wouldn't even notice that his own flesh and blood sibling was gone. It would also drive Steve up the wall if he found out who I was with.

"Okay. Fine, let's go." I cheered, jumping up and grabbing my bag, packing a bunch of clothes for various occasions. Billy sat on my bed watching as I ran around my room gathering as many things as I could.

"I don't know if Steve is still awake or not so you gotta go back through my window. I'll meet you outside in like ten minutes." I whispered as Billy got up and started climbing out my window.

I shut it behind him, grabbing my bag and heading down the stairs.

"Hey Steve, I'll be home later." I called, walking past him and all his middle schoolers who were all yelling at one another.

Steve threw up a thumb, not even acknowledging me as I pranced out the front door. The thought of getting out of Hawkins sounded more and more appealing. I bumped my bag into Billy's butt, making him turn around.

"There you are." He grinned, taking my bag from my hands.

"We're taking the Camaro."

"No, we're taking Priscilla."

"What the fuck is a Priscilla?"

I grinned, nodding my head to my bright red 1965 Volkswagen Beetle, my baby that I had saved up for and bought myself after turning sixteen.

"I am not riding in that death trap."

"It's okay, Prissy. The mean mullet man didn't mean to call you a death trap. He's just intimidated." I cooed, patting her hood and smirking over at Billy.

"I'm not intimidated." Billy whispered under his breath.

"Then lets go!" I giggled, taking my bag from him and putting it in the back seat.

Billy shook his head, opting not to continue the argument. He grabbed his bag, placing it next to mine.

"You can park your car in the garage."

I pulled out, Billy replacing my spot in the garage with his car. I shut the door as Billy climbed into my car with a grunt.

"So, I didn't think I could actually talk you into doing this since we kinda just met, so I didn't plan this far ahead." Billy admitted, glancing at me.

"It's okay. I know a great place to go to start our adventure."

******

"What the hell is this place?"

"Some boujee country club my parents used to belong to." I replied, "It's disgustingly expensive."

"Then what exactly are we doing here?" He replied, raising an eyebrow at me.

"We're getting a room for the night. For free."

"For free? Yeah, right." He scoffed.

"You think I can't do it? What with my Harrington charm?" I drawled, twirling a strand of hair around my finger.

He rolled his eyes at me,

"Tell you what, let's make a bet." I proposed.

"Now you've got my attention."

I pursed my lips, humming to myself as I thought of what our wager should be,

"If we get in... you have to get your mullet cut off."

"Hey! No way in hell!"

"What, you worried that I'm right?"

"No." He scoffed.

"Then what's your wager if you win?"

"Priscilla." He smirked.

"You got a deal."

His smirk dropped as he realized that I had the confidence to bet my car, my baby. He knew he was getting that haircut.

"Come on, blondie!" I called as I skipped up to the front of the club.

Billy and I both wondered to the front doors, inside a fountain trickled in the background and the pristine white tiles reflected the lights from the ceiling.

"Welcome, how can we help you?" The woman behind the front desk greeted. "Hello, I'm Samantha..Harring...rove.. uh Hargrove," I chirped, glancing up at Billy who looked at me with shock, "And this is my Husband.....Billy." I snaked my arm through his, leaning my head on his shoulder hugging him into my side.

He put on an unconvincing fake grin, flashing it at the woman,

"My parents had a membership here and Billy and I are newly weds. They gifted us a membership under their names." I chided.

"Yes ma'am! What are your parents' names?"

"Timothy and Patricia Harrington."

The lady's head shot up at the sound of my parents names.

"I didn't know Timmy and Trish had a daughter! I thought Steve was their only child." She beamed as I dug my nails into Billy's arm.

He cleared his throat, slightly nudging me in an attempt to get me to loosen my grip,

"You know, your parents said this place was nice, but I hear there's a much better place upstate. Maybe we should cancel the membership and head up their instead."

"If you stay here, all of our newly weds get complimentary room service." The woman offered, startled by Billy's suggestion to take our money elsewhere.

"That sounds nice, doesn't it, sweetheart?" I encouraged.

He gave me a nod, letting out a sigh of relief when I retracted my nails from his skin.

"You'll be staying in suite 315, it's between the gym and the indoor heated pool." She instructed, pointing out the window behind her.

"Thank you." I cheered enthusiastically.

"Congrats!" She called after us as we stepped back outside. Billy pulled his arm from mine,

"I think you made me bleed." He commented, staring down at the half moon marks on the inside of his arm.

"Don't be such a baby." I retorted, going to the door of our room and shoving the key in the lock.

I let out a sigh of relief as the chilled air from the room hit me in the face. The bed was enormous, covered in crisp, white sheets with the logo of the club embroidered into them with green thread. Billy trailed in behind me, throwing his bag down on the floor by the bedside table. I slipped off my shoes, immediately hopping off the floor and landing face first on the bed.

"They're so soft!" I exclaimed, voice muffled by the sheets against my skin.

Billy laid on his side beside me, reading off the menu of the country club's overpriced restaurant,

"On tonight's dinner menu we have pacific caviar and braised lamb with whipped garlic parmesan mashed spuds." He mocked in the most obnoxious, rich old lady accent I had ever heard. And I had heard my fair share of obnoxious rich old ladies at my parent's stupid dinner parties, "Darling, I heard the wine selection is to dieeee for." I rolled over, flicking my wrist while holding my hand over my heart.

"How about we just order a pizza and go for drinks later at that bar we passed. Maybe do some golf cart races?"

"Sounds like a plan to me. But first we have to do something with that rats nest on that head of yours." I smirked, running my fingers in his curls.

Billy swatted my hand away, turning his head to glare at me.

"The mullet stays," he mumbled.

"But my dear husband, remember the bet we made in the car? The one where if I could actually get us a room here you would cut your hair." I giggled, tapping his nose.

"It's never going to happen. I don't remember shaking on that deal." He grunted.

"You lost fair and square buddy. Say bye bye to the mullet."

******

I smirked as Billy strolled out of the salon, his mullet was gone and replaced by a clean shave in the back and his natural curls still up front.

He looked even more handsome than before. I let out a whistle letting, him know I liked it.

"It looks like shit," He objected, crossing his arms.

"No it doesn't. Now come on, there's a club here we can go to. We'll have a few drinks then go back to the room and order pizza." I hummed, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the club.

"This place is obnoxious." Billy cringed, peering around at all the random couples spread throughout the bar.

"It's a country club. It's supposed to be obnoxious." I chimed, pulling Billy to a table and sitting down at it.

We ordered a few drinks and a appetizer as we people watched the rich folk around us.

The beginning of the song from Dirty Dancing started blasting through the speakers, making me gasp. I turned my gaze over to Billy with a big grin on my face.

I didn't even have to say a damn word,

"No."

"Come on please, I've always wanted to do it. Billy PLEASE!" I begged as I started swaying my hips along to the song.

I danced around his chair as he watched me with a deadpan expression,

"You're the one thing I can't get enough of!" I belted.

"No."

"AND I OWE IT ALL TO YOUUUUU." I sang as Billy groaned, standing up and walking away from me.

"Oh, come on! Where are you going?" I laughed as I kept dancing

"Are we going to do this or not?"

I let out a loud squeal, causing the people around to stare at us.

I started singing at the top of my lungs, walking towards Billy grabbing his hand as we started to twist back and forth along to the song.

"This will never happen again," He gibbed as I twirled around him.

"This is our first dance as husband and wife. We had to make it memorable." I quipped, doing a boogie away from him as the song built up. I kept swaying back and forth before running towards Billy and jumping as he caught me by the hips, lifting me above his head.

I crossed my legs, putting my arms out, smiling knowing that Jennifer Grey would be so proud.

I smiled down at Billy who had a huge shit eating grin plastered across his face. He placed me back on my feet, pulling me closer to him as we kept dancing.

"Ahem, Mr. and Mrs Hargrove, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the club for tonight. You are disrupting the rest of the customers."

Billy and I glanced over at the waiter, busting out in laughter as we ran out of the bar. "People don't know how to have a good time anymore." I groaned as we stumbled into the lobby.

Billy grabbed my hand, pulling me over to the grand piano in the corner.

"I noticed your keyboard in your room. You play?" He asked, sitting on the bench.

He cracked his knuckles, wiggling his fingers before pressing them on the keys, playing the beginning of Claire De Lune.

I glanced at him from my peripheral, pressing my fingers on the keys, playing along with him. "Been playing since I was seven. Rode my bike to my lessons every week."

Billy bit down on his lip before the corners of his mouth turned up.

"I think I started lessons at seven too."

"Who knew the Billy Hargrove has a thing for Debussy and ivory keys." I praised.

He swayed along to the music we were producing together,

"Ahem."

We both turned our heads over at the person behind the desk who was pointing at the giant sign behind us stating that the piano was not to be touched.

"Oops." I giggled, standing up, "Let's go back to our room before we get into more trouble."

"Nah, I'm sure we can find some more trouble we can get into." Billy chirped, standing up. We both shuffled outside and around the country club before coming up to a closed off section.

"You ever crash a wedding before?" I smirked, eyeing Billy as he lit a cigarette.

"Bad habit!" I scolded, taking the stick out of his mouth and replacing it with the pendant from his necklace.

"Will you stop that!" He grunted, taking the cigarette back from me, "We are not crashing somebody's wedding."

We continued our walk around the courtyard, coming across a golf cart. We both looked at each other than made a mad dash to the vehicle

Billy slid me over to the passenger side before climbing in the driver's side, pressing his foot all the way down on the gas pedal.

He drove off the sidewalk turning the wheel sharply making golf cart whip around in a circle.

Before long, the security guards pulled us over, screaming at us to stop and pointing at more signs stating boring rules for the boring people who actually paid money to stay at this place.

We laughed all the way back to the hall leading to our suite,

"Tonight was fun." Billy cackled as we walked into our suite.

"Yeah it was. I'll take the bed. Is the couch okay with you?" I questioned as Billy pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it on the floor and falling face first onto the couch.

"Mmhmm." He hummed.

"Good night, Billy." I whispered throwing a blanket over him.

He let out another soft hum.

"Good night, Sammie."

******

The next morning, I woke up and went down to the travel desk in the lobby, setting up all the things I needed to to surprise Billy with a small trip to California.

I tiptoed into the living room and over to the couch, shaking Billy slightly. "Wake up sleepyhead. Check out is in an 45 minutes and our flight leaves in an hour."

Billy grunted, lifting his head to walked at me.

"Did you just say flight?" He grumbled, his voice hoarse with sleep.

"Sure did. The in-laws bought us round trip tickets to California for the next two days." I beamed as Billy sat straight up, looking at me.

"Did you really buy tickets to go to Cali? Sam, you're shitting me."

Billy climbed over the couch, picking me up hugging me to him. "Thank you Sammie!"

I leaned in kissing Billy's nose, causing him jump a little from shock,

"Come on and get dressed!" I trilled, pushing him toward the bathroom.

******

The flight was longer than I expected it to be. Once we landed in California, I picked up the car I had rented. I eyed Billy who about fell on the ground when the blue convertible Corvette was brought to us. "That's the car you decided to rent!?" He exclaimed, almost drooling over it.

"Mmhm," I hummed, throwing my bag in the back seat and then climbing in the front.

"You know where the Chateau Marmont is?" I questioned, smiling at him.

"Did you get us a room there?" His eyes grew wide.

"Nah, it was too expensive, even for my parents. I booked a hotel overlooking the beach."

Once we got settled into the hotel, both of us were starving. We ventured out, finding some Mexican restaurant that Billy started raving about.

The food was decent and not too expensive but it wasn't like I was afraid of my parents finding out about me spending the amount of money I had in the past few days. They didn't care as long as I didn't bother them.

"Hey!" Billy yelled, catching up to me. "Uh..um.. I got you this," He panted, placing a heart shaped ring into my hand.

I examined it, smiling up at him, "Tanzanite, the December birthstone has energy for emotional healing from all worries. It brings happiness." I informed.

"Yeah..okay. I uh, just found a quarter on the ground and put it in a gumball machine. I mean, you're my wife and I didnt even give you a ring so." He grinned, gesturing to the ring.

"See, tanzanite brings happiness." I beamed as I slipped the ring on my left hand.

"So, does your mom live here?" I questioned as we made our way down the street.

"No. She passed away a while back." He sighed, a frown forming on his face.

"I'm sorry for your loss. You two were close?"

He nodded

"My mother was my best friend, she was a phenomenal woman. I never understood what she ever saw in my dad, he's a shit person." He chided through clenched teeth.

"Does he do this to you?" I asked, lightly touching the yellowing on his skin. He ignored me, walking ahead of me getting into the car.

"He does doesn't he? Are you going to be okay when we go back to Indiana?"

"Yes, Sam, I'll be okay." He retorted as we drove off into the direction of the hotel.

"Are you sure? If you ever need a place to stay you are we-"

"I'm fine Sam. Drop it." He snapped, cutting me off.

"Billy Hargrove is that you?!" Billy's head snapped to the car beside us at the red light we were stopped at.

"Sure is." He chortled, pulling his sunglasses down to his nose.

"Are you back for good?" The guy asked.

Billy shook his head "Nah, my....Sam and I came here for our spring break. We're leaving tomorrow night."

The guy in the car frowned as the light turned green.

"There's a party tonight at Olivia's place! Better see you there!" The boy yelled, driving off.

Billy's eyes lit up as he glanced over at me.

"Party tonight?" He questioned.

I pursed my lips together, rolling my eyes,

"Do we have to?" I groaned.

"Yes, I haven't seen these people in a long time!"

No matter how hard I tried to change Billy's mind, he wouldn't budge. And that's how I ended up at a party full of people I didn't know, sitting next to a Pug named Joe. Not exactly my ideal way of spending my first time in California. But I could tell that Billy missed his friends so I tried my best not to complain.

Music blared through the house as random teens danced around to Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne. I pushed past the crowd, finding Billy talking to some random girl by the keg as he poured himself another beer.

I was never a partier, when my brother dated Nancy Wheeler, she would always make him take me to parties. Most of the time it would end with me walking home or me hitching a ride from Jonathan Byers who hated parties as much as I did.

I stood next to Billy, nudging him with my elbow, frowning at him nodding my head towards the gate we had walked through when we arrived to the party.

"Sam, it's a party go have fun. Go drink." Billy shooed at me with his solo cup.

I rolled my eyes, walking towards the beach, digging my toes in the sand once I set foot on the grain surface. I plucked a few evening primrose from the steps, placing the stems into my plaited hair as I continued further down to the water. The booming music became more and more distant.

The beach was beautiful, and the California sunset even more so. What everyone considered a beach in Hawkins didn't even compare to this.

I took my time walking along the shore, picking up only the best shells and pieces of sea glass.

"Why aren't you at the party?" I heard a voice from behind me, I recognized it, so I didn't bother to look up,

"What're you doing?" He asked, watching as I scooped a sand dollar off the sand before the tide could pull it back in, "Collecting shells?"

"She sells seashells by the sea shore," I chirped, offering Billy the sand dollar. He rolled his eyes, taking it from me and throwing it into the ocean.

"Hey!" I hissed, crossing my arms.

"God dammit, Samantha can you not be weird for once? You're embarrassing me in front of my friends."

"I don't see anyone but us around," I shrugged, reaching into the water and picking up another shell.

"Sam. Please. Just pretend to be normal." He begged, reaching for the flowers woven into my braid and pulling them out.

"Excuse you!" I yelled, smacking his hands away, "Go party with your friends. I'll be okay by myself. Always have been." I fumed.

"I'm not leaving you out here alone. Just come back to the party, pretend to be normal and we'll come to the beach tomorrow."

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

"Are you really quoting Dr. Seuss? This is the shit im talking about. Normal people don't quote Dr. Seuss."

"If normal people don't quote Dr. Seuss, how do you know it's a Dr. Seuss quote?" I replied, and that was as close to a rebuttal as he was going to get from me tonight. I wasn't about to get dragged in to a Billy Hargrove argument. Especially not on spring break.

Billy continued to follow me as I kept examining shells and placing them into my pockets.

"Somebody has to go polish the stars, They're looking a little bit dull. Somebody has to go polish the stars, For the eagles and starlings and gulls have been complaining they're tarnished and worn, They say they want new ones we cannot afford. So please get your rags and your polishing jars, Somebody has to go polish the stars." I beamed, spinning in a small circle, kicking some water up at Billy.

He let out a frustrated groan,

"Harrington, you are really starting to piss me off." He snarled, grabbing my arm, "God, you're acting just like your brother." He snapped, "No wonder nobody bothers to get to know both of you, you're the same person."

I couldn't remain neutral any longer, I yanked my arm from his grasp and gave him a shove backward before turning on my heels and strutting back the way I came.

"Where the hell are you going?" He hollered.

I resisted the urge to turn around and scream back in his face as well as the urge to reach up to wipe the tears that had started to fall onto my cheek. I couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he hurt me. My attempt at escape was thwarted when he ran up behind me, grabbing my wrist and spinning me around to face him,

"Let go of me, Billy." I hissed, straining against his grasp.

He gripped onto me with white knuckles,

"Not until you tell me where the hell you're going."

"Away from you." I spat.

"I'm not letting you leave here by yourself."

"You don't own me, you don't get to decide what I can and can't do."

"You're out here with me, I'm responsible for you."

"I'm responsible for myself, always have been. Find your own way home, asshole." I tore myself from his grasp, turning my back on him and making my way back to the car we rented, climbing in.

******

I drove around for at least two hours before heading back to the hotel. I knew that eventually the asshole known as Billy Hargrove would make an appearance, taking place of the boy I had been around for the past few days.

I figured it was from him being vulnerable with me and opening up to me about his father and mother. But the loss of his best friend and the fear of his father gave him no right to treat me or any other person that tries to get close with him the way he treats them.

I grew up almost raising myself, in a semI neglectful home with a vain mother, an absent father, a star athlete and a favorite brother. And that made me angry. That my own flesh and blood never took the time to come to my piano recitals, or come cheer me on for any academic achievement.

Hell, I doubt anyone in my family even knew that I was graduating a year early. I was counting down the days to graduation. I would be my own person, I would travel to places and do things that my brother would be too scared or stupid to do.

I opened the door to our hotel room to find Billy slumped on the couch asleep. I went over to him, taking his boots off and covering him up with a blanket.

"You're back." He grumbled, half asleep.

"Mmhm. Go back to sleep." I whispered, setting a glass of water on the table next to him then walking to the room, shutting the door.

******

I woke up the next morning to Billy shaking my arm. "Hey...Um I'm sorry about last night."

"I only accept apologies from assholes when there are pancakes involved." I grumbled, pulling the covers over my head.

"Sam..." Billy whined. I felt the bed shift as he sat next to me, resting his hand in the curve of my waist,

"Go away." I objected, kicking at his butt and wiggling out from under his touch.

A small chuckle left Billy's lips as he moved the covers from my head, "I really can't take you seriously when you're mad." He laughed.

I glared at him,

"You're a jerk. Get me pancakes and then we'll talk."

"Get up and get dressed. I'll take you to the best pancake place in town."

I wandered out of my room, passing Billy who was sitting on the counter with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

"Are you really not going to talk to me until I feed you?" Billy asked as he followed me into the elevator. I glared over at him angrily, not breaking our eye contact, pressing the button that would take us to the lobby.

"Sammie..."

I crossed my arms, examining the tiles of the elevator floor.

"I know.. I'm an ass okay? I'm sorry for what I said, you're nothing like Steve and it's a goddamn shame that nobody in that shit stain of a town doesn't see you as Samantha. You're crazy and quote Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein as a means to fight. You always know what to say and the right time to say it. I didn't mean anything I said last night."

My head still faced the opposite from where Billy was standing. I uncrossed my arms, reaching down grabbing Billy's hand.

"You're still an asshole" I asserted,

I could feel him relax underneath my touch. I glanced over at him, he was staring at me, cigarette still hanging from his mouth.

"Bad habit." I jeered, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and replacing it with a lollipop I found on the floor of the elevator.

Billy took the lollipop out of his mouth, dropping it to the floor gagging. "Gross!" "Still better than the cancer stick." I retorted, crossing my arms again and staring him down.

"You're an asshole." I repeated, skipping out of the elevator and outside to our car.

"These are some of the best pancakes you will ever have." Billy hummed as he started the car, heading in the direction of the diner he was taking us to.

He was right. They were some of the best pancakes I had ever had.

"So are you going to talk to me now?" Billy questioned, reaching for my hand and interlocking our fingers.

"I told you I would once you fed me." I quipped, pushing my plate away with my free hand.

"I'm truly sorry about last night Sam. I shouldn't have forced you to go to the party and expect you to want to stick around. And I'm really, really sorry for comparing you to Steve. You're not like him at all."

I squeezed his hand, peering up at him.

"You're an asshole. But, I forgive you."

******

Billy and I sat in comfortable silence on the car ride home from the airport. I couldn't help but have this feeling that once we got home and went our separate ways that Billy would go back to his friends and I'd go back to my flowers. Despite him profusely apologizing over our fight on the beach, I feared that he would go back to being his asshole self and only talk to me when he needed notes- maybe even to get under Steve's skin by being around me.

I pushed my feet up in the dash as Billy silently hummed to himself, tapping on the steering wheel.

"What's going to happen on Monday?" I questioned, peering over at him, "The past few days have been...amazing to say the least but once school starts back, are we going back to Billy Hargrove the king of Hawkins and The Other Harrington."

I started to nervously fidget with the ring Billy had given me, twisting it around my finger.

Billy reached over, grabbing my hand and squeezing it "When school starts back on Monday, I'll be Billy and you will be Samantha. I know im an ass, but I won't pretend this trip didn't happen, that I don't love you."

I turned my head at him in surprise over the fact that he just admitted that he loved me.

"Sammie, you make me less pissed. Not... not pissed, but I feel like I use to before I lost my mom."

"I saved that flower crown you gave me. It's in a box under my bed next to a flower crown she made for me on my fifteenth birthday."

Billy brought the back side of my hand to his mouth, placing a kiss on it.

"You promise?" I asked hesitantly. He sighed, pulling over on the side of the road.

"Sam, I'm not sure if you heard me the first time, but I'm in love with you. You somehow talked me into getting a haircut,-"

"You lost a bet and those were the stipulations." I corrected, earning an eye roll from him.

"I cut my hair for you, and I opened up to you about my father. And told you about the only other person that I knew that was as kind and loving as you are. It was a no brainer that I would fall in love with you. I just didn't expect it to happen as fast as it did."

I leaned over, kissing his cheek,

"You are an asshole with I really nice hair cut. I love you too, Billy Hargrove." I reached over, turning the volume up as the guitar riff to Highway to Hell blasted through the cars speakers. I started dancing along to the beat beckoning Billy to get out of Priscilla and join me on the side of the road.

Billy laughed, getting out grabbing me by my waist as we started dancing together. We danced and twirled around to the music, singing along to the words together.

Billy placed his hand on the small of my back, pulling me closer to him as his other hand snaked behind my neck, bringing my lips to his.

"So, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to go get dinner later? But not like friend dinner...uh like a date? And you be my girlfriend." He babbled.

I chuckled, kissing his nose,

"You're cute when you're nervous. Hasn't this week been one long date?" I questioned, intertwining my fingers with his.

Billy leaned in, his head resting it on mine. "I don't want to go home." He confessed, opening his eyes looking down at me.

"We have to go back to reality. And when graduation comes around, we'll pick back up where we left off, travel the world together forget about Indiana."

I twirled around Billy's fingers before wrapping my arms around his neck.

"So now I'm included in this adventure?"

"You are my husband, you kinda have to go with me." I retorted, resting my head on his shoulder as the song slowly came to an end.

Billy wrapped his arms tighter around me, placing a kiss on top of my head.

"Back to reality."

I pulled up in front of the Hargrove household, glancing over at Billy who was almost as pale as a ghost. "I'm going in there with you."

"No you're not. Sammie you are safe out here."

"But you aren't safe in there." I retorted, getting out of my car.

"He won't do anything to you in front of a stranger." I added, reaching down for his hand. We walked into his house to find what looked to be his father and brother sitting on the couch watching whatever game was playing on the television.

Both men drew their attention to the door. Billy's father glared at both of us his arms crossing over one another.

"Where the hell have you been?" He snarled, standing up from his recliner.

"Uh...um," Billy sputtered.

I squeezed his hand trying to give him reassurance as Neil turned his focus from his son to me.

"You were off doing God knows what with this whore weren't you?!" Neil boomed, not breaking eye contact with me.

"Um.. uh."

"That's not an answer, Billy."

I groaned,

"Yes, Mr. Hargrove he was with me. We went to my parents country club and then flew to California for a few days. It was a lot of fun. I found a lot of pretty shells. I see where Billy gets being an asshole from." I exclaimed as Billy's hand tightened against mine.

"I want you out of my house!" Neil howled, taking a step toward Billy and I. Billy instinctively took a step in front of me.

"You want me out? Fine."

Billy pushed past Neil, heading the direction of his bedroom, me following behind. He grabbed the remainder of his clothes from his closet, stuffing it in trash bags. I reached under his bed, grabbing a shoebox with his mother's name scribbled across it

"Can't forget your flower crowns." I whispered, sitting the box on the bed, helping Billy grab all of his belongings.

"You have nowhere to go." Neil laughed, standing in the doorway and crossing his arms.

"My house is big. He can live with me." I retorted, stepping in front of Neil, blocking his view of Billy the best I could.

"And your parents are going to be okay with that?" Neil challenged.

"I don't think it's any of your business how my parents react to Billy coming to stay with me."

Billy walked over to me with the trashbags full of his belongings.

"He isn't your concern anymore. You can fuck off." I spat, reaching back for Billy's wrist and bumping my shoulder into Neill as we walked in the the hallway.

"You'll be back after this slut gets tired of you." Neil yelled following after us. I stopped turning to face him.

"I can assure you, that I won't get tired of him. We got married when we were in Cali." I chortled, flashing my left hand up at him.

"Like I said, Billy isn't your concern anymore." I lifted my middle finger up at Neil as Billy pulled me out of the house and out to the car.

******

"Steve isn't going to be happy," I mumbled, pulling into my driveway.

Billy let out a small laugh, leaning over kissing my cheek. I faced him with a stern expression,

"Please be nice. I'll handle all the talking." I stressed, squeezing his hand. I placed a quick kiss on his lips before stepping out of Priscilla

"Where the fuck have you been, Samantha?" Steve gripped, walking out of our house and crossing his arms.

Billy slowly got out of Priscilla, walking around to stand behind me.

"Let me rephrase that, where the fuck have you been with Billy Hargrove." Steve seethed.

"California." I stated as a matter of factly.

"California!?" Steve blurted, his jaw dropping, "What did you do to her, Hargrove, kidnap her?!"

"He's my friend...boy," I said as Billy intertwined our fingers, "Err my boyfriend."

"Since when?"

"Since this morning."

"Sam, you don't socialize you go to school and come home."

I rolled my eyes, opening my mouth to say something only to be cut off by Steve,

"How do you two even know each other? God Samantha, leave it up to you to become friends with the biggest asshole in school. Do you even remember what happened to me in October?"

Billy stood between us placing a hand on Steve's chest. Steve quickly stepped away from Billy's touch, "Man, I know we have our issues. And I'm sorry for everything I've done to you." He began.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow and shifting his weight onto his heels, "But I actually give a shit about Sammie. And nobody appreciates her damn near as much as she deserves." Billy mused, glancing down at me.

"Stop acting like you care, Steve." I grumbled under my breath.

"You're my baby sister, of course I care."

"Really? Do you even care enough to know that most of your friends don't even know my name?" I fired back.

"What're you talking about?"

"In fact, most people don't even know my name. Not just your friends. And you know who did? Billy. You know who came and talked to me without prefacing it with 'can you tell Steve'? Billy." I defended, "He actually talks to me like I'm a real person and not just a means to get to you."

"Are you sure that isn't what this is? A means to get to me?"

"Is it really that hard for you to believe that somebody cares about me?"

"I find it hard to believe that Billy Hargrove cares about you."

Billy dropped my hand from his grasp, balling up his fist. I stepped ahead of him, blocking his path if he decided to make a move.

"Somebody has to! Mom and dad sure don't. And you're too busy running off with a bunch of middle schoolers who you call your siblings to pay attention to your actual younger sister!"

"Sam, this isn't about mom or dad or me or them!"

"Bullshit it isn't!" I snapped, "My entire fucking life I've been walking around in your shadow and I'm goddamn sick of it!"

"How many times have I told you that people don't know my name? How many times have I said that kids I've known my whole life, gone through kindergarten with, don't know my name? All I am is Little Harrington or The Other Harrington. I'm not Samantha. I'm not my own fucking person. And that's on you, Steve!"

"How is it on me that you don't do anything to get attention?"

I could faintly hear a rumble in Billy's chest,

"Because you've never taken me seriously! Never stood up for me when I needed you to. Steve, I needed you to be my big brother and protect me and you didn't!"

Steve opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but I cut him off,

"Go take care of the rest of your 'little siblings' hope you don't let them down like you did to me." I snarled.

Billy went back over to Priscilla, grabbing my bag from the car and following behind me.

"I don't think so. You are not going into my house." Steve said, grabbing his arm.

"Fuck you, Steve." I spat as Billy yanked his arm from my brother's grasp.

They squared up with each other, chest to chest. Neither of them particularly wanted to get into a fight, especially not in front of me. I intertwined my fingers with Billy's and took him inside with me.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Dustin asked as the other kids stood up in defense.

"Ask your older brother, he seems to be pretty open with you guys." I sneered, pulling Billy up to my room.

I shut the door behind us, leaning back on it and letting myself cry.

"Hey, hey, hey, baby, no." Billy comforted, pressing his forehead to mine. "No crying." He cupped my face in his hands, making me look at him

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

I smiled softly at him as he kissed me,

"Normal people don't quote Dr. Seuss." I sassed, wiping my face with the back side of my hand.

"Well, as it turns out, I'm not as normal as you think."

******

Monday I could feel every single eye on me. The worst part of living in a small town was word got around fast.

"Christy, is it true you and Billy Hargrove robbed a bank over spring break?"

I rolled my eyes as I shut my locker door,

"No, it's not true." I grunted, walking past Carol and into Chemistry. A smile spread across Billy's face as I walked down the row of desks and took my usual seat at the one in front of him. He leaned forward in his desk, pressing a kiss to my cheek,

"I missed you," He whispered, placing another kiss on my shoulder.

"Two whole periods without me, how did you live!?" I exclaimed,

"It's not like you didn't just move in with me." I joked, leaning my head back so it was laying on his desk.

Billy chuckled, leaning forward connecting our lips together, earning various grunts and sighs from some of the girls in our class room.

By lunch people were well aware of Billy's status. People know knew who I was and who I was dating. But they still intentionally called me some random name.

Most of them probably figured that it got under my skin, so why would they stop?

"Sammie, are you okay?" Billy asked as we walked into the lunchroom together.

"Yeah, I'm just not used to being this...well known. And people are now purposely calling me different names." I sighed as I grabbed a juice and a banana in the lunch line.

"Mr. Hargrove, your new haircut looks wonderful!" Edna, the lunch lady chirped.

"Doesn't it?" I questioned, running my hand in his hair.

Billy rolled his eyes, swatting my hand away before paying for both of our lunches.

"Oh! Miss Hayley! Will you please tell Steve he still owes us money from before spring break."

I grinned at her, knowing that she didn't mean any harm by calling me the wrong name, unlike the rest of the school.

"Sure thing, Edna."

I followed behind Billy as we both sat at the lunch table with Tommy H. and Carol.

"Nicole are you lost?" Tommy H grimaced as I sat next to Billy. "No, I'm not." I mumbled. "Then why are you sitting here? Last I checked you weren't popular." Carol snorted.

The walked on Billy's face made me think he was about to kill everyone around him.

"Knock it off both of you. Samantha is my girlfriend." Billy chided.

"Ew, why would you want to date Kayla?" Tommy sneered, giving me a disgusted look "You know she's Steve's sister, right?"

In a flash Billy flew across the table, throwing his fist into Tommy's face. He then climbed on the table, placing his pinkies in his mouth and whistling.

"Just so we are all on the same page, This girl has a name, and It's Samantha. She's my girlfriend...Samantha Harrington is my girlfriend. If I hear anyone call her The Other Harrington or anything that is not Sam, or Samantha, one more time, you will really be wishing you didn't." He threatened, "Now what is my girlfriends name?"

In unison, the entire lunchroom sang out my name. I could feel my cheeks grow warm. I knew for a fact I was as red as a tomato.

"And if any of you mess with her? You'll deal with me," He yelled as one of the coaches marched over, pulling Billy off the table and escorting him out of the cafeteria.

I cleared my throat, poking at my plate as Tommy climbed back back up to the table, holding his bleeding nose.

"The chicken is really good today isn't it?"

******

The week was long and uneventful, and by Friday not only did everyone- including teachers knew my name, they also came up to me apologizing- something I'm sure was Billy's doing.

I didn't hate this new found fame but I didn't love it either. Billy made an ass out of himself at lunch, landing him a weeks worth of detention. So every day I would go sit in the field, making 2 floral crowns while I waited for Billy to get out of his detainment.

"How was detention?" I asked as Billy plopped down on the blanket next to me ,taking my floral crown from my head and placing it on his own.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." Billy sang, kissing my cheek.

"Quoting Dr. Seuss again are we?" I sassed.

"I love you," He uttered as a dragonfly flew by landing on my nose.

I chuckled, shaking my head startling the bug away.

"Looks like your mom loves me too."

Billy smirked, pressing his lips onto mine before stretching out onto the blanket, placing his head on my lap, staring up at me with the utmost adoration.

It didn't matter anymore to me that people got my name wrong, or how I would become a distant memory after graduation,

The soft boy with a hard exterior had the free spirited girl with a love for wildflowers.

We had each other, we made each other shine.

And that's all that matters.

523 notes · View notes

smilingleoo · 5 years ago

Text

Perfect Coincidence-JJK

Summary: _“I couldn’t hear you, the music was so fucking loud...”-he mumbled on your skin, fingertips taunting your bare tight-“That’s why I’m getting paid for, Jeon”

Warnings: angst, mentions of alcohol and SMUT

Author’s Note: Okay! First of all, I’m really sorry for not uploading; I’ve been really busy with school and exams. But I found some time to finish this one-shot, so I hope you like it! Secondly, this is my first time writing smut...so that’s all...

———-

“Why don’t you give it a try?”-Jimin asked, tossing the water bottle towards Jungkook’s way. His brown hair dripped from the hot shower he had taken after football practice in order to see if his headache would disappear ye it hadn’t, and Jimin’s constant reminders didn’t help either-“I don’t feel like going, ‘kay?”-Jungkook replied slightly annoyed while shuffling his caramel locks with a white towel he had packed inside his training bag-“Why do you want me to go anyways? You have Taehyung to party with and you’re actually pretty fucking sociable!”

“You know why I’m trying to convince you, Jungkook”-Jimin threatened, catching the returning water bottle and signalling him with it-“Don’t play dumb”. If Jungkook hadn’t been so tired and sore, he would have argued with his friend about his personal life and how he could solve his own problems alone. Yet he didn’t feel like getting into a verbal fight with the exotic-haired coloured athlete besides him, so he decided to just shrug the topic off and ask him another sort of question-“Is your girlfriend going?”

“I don’t think so”-he declared, packing his sweated training uniform and zipping his backpack close-“I broke up with her yesterday. She cheated on me and didn’t even apologize”-his frustrated huff clearly portrayed his disappointment and Jungkook didn’t know what to do. Therefore, he pulled on his t-shirt and clutched his friend’s shoulder reassuringly-“Listen Gukk, I don’t want you to lose things because you still miss her, okay? She was your first love but she is older than you. She taught you how to be with a woman was, how it feels to be ambitious. But we are still in high school and being with your math teacher is not your best option...”

Jungkook’s heart cracked a little bit more with his friend's statement. Yet it was not because of the words he said but for the fact that he was right. He had slept with his teacher, had taken her to some dates and had fallen in love with her. However, she just seemed to be playing around for a while. She wouldn’t have stayed, not in a million years, with someone who was barely legal. And he had known it when he had touched her for the first time; he had known every condition of it. But list had taken over him and his sensitive heart couldn’t afford to go through the painful consequences.

“Come with me tonight”-Jimin continued, now grasping the door’s handle and gifting Jungkook the last pleading gaze-“Meet other girls, fuck with someone else for my sanity’s sale, god”-he chuckled before opening the door and shouting a shallow farewell.

Maybe he would think about it when he arrived home.

()

“I can’t believe you fucking convinced me to come”

Oh god, he regretted agreeing with Jimin so bad.

There he stood, tight black jeans hugging his toned legs and a white shirt he had used a thousand times before. This would have been a normal outfit for him yet the silver chain hanging on his chest and some more accessories Jimin had urged him to wear, made the look much fancier-“I will look for something to drink”-Jimin stated before walking past Jungkook and into the bursting house-“Don’t get lost!”

Some girls gathered outside the house’s entrance eyed Jimin’s figure before adverting their gazes to Jungkook, who just served his own eyes from them and concentrated on an interesting stone beside him. Why did he agree to do this anyways? He could have hit the gym or play video games in the safety of his own, precious room. It wasn’t that he was not sociable nor weird, he just didn’t feel like coming to this kind of parties; where people drunk alcohol until they had no neurons left and the music was too loud to even hear what people said.

But he needed to clear his mind from everything that had been happening recently. He had to throw _her _out of his head before it was extremely late. So he grabbed the last bit of courage he had left, puffed his chest slightly and entered the crowded area with a confident aura surrounding his body.

As soon as he stepped in, a horrendous scent slapped him. He had to squint his nose slightly so as not to gag, his stomach begging him to run outside. Yet he held firm and pushed himself past the obnoxious basketball team, who were throwing their stupid orange ball around, and into the large living room filled with dancing teenagers. Jung Hoseok, the dancing prodigy and current host, had an expensive mansion secluded from the city. His parents were barely home due to business trips or late meetings which demanded the loss of a night inside their place. Therefore, his house was the first place to throw a good party. Not to mention the fact that his kitchen or living was five times bigger than Jungkook’s humble dwelling.

“Big party, huh?”-Taehyung beamed from behind Jungkook, a full red cup in his right hand while his left arm was draped around a petite girl’s shoulder. She seemed a little shy and introverted, the tall guy’s presence wrapping a cute crimson blush on her round cheeks-“Oh, where are my manners? This is Jungkook”-Taehyng slurred, signalling the lost boy with a slow neck movement. Jungkook offered her a friendly grin before waving his hand. She nodded gratefully-“Jungkook, this is...this is...”

“-Sarah, nice t-to meet you”-she interrupted Jungkook’s clearly drunk friend and extended her delicate hand, which he took with ease. The booming music made the conversation quite uncomfortable so Jungkook decided to leave both of them alone and enter the spacious kitchen. The clear lightning invaded Jungkook’s retina like a fierce punch, obliging him to let out a frustrated groan and pull a hand above his eyes. Damn, why would they keep lights on?

Angrily, he stomped towards the bar, grabbed a cup of something he wasn’t quite sure if the colour was normal and ushered his legs out of the place. Unfortunately, he bumped into someone, dropping her nearly empty cup to the floor. Jungkook was already preparing himself for the sure-to-come slap but nothing touched him. Actually, he heard the most beautiful laugh he had ever witnessed in his short life-“I should be thanking you”-Jungkook couldn’t focus his sight in order to take in her features, for the annoying light had damaged his vision greatly-“That tasted like actual shit”

He chuckled and tried to ask the stranger her name. Yet he couldn’t because he heard how Hoseok called out for her and how a small ‘See you later’ left her mouth.

()

“I was just looking for a drink”-you taunted Hoseok, swaying your newly refilled cup in front of his bothersome expression. You knew he wasn’t actually mad at you but just jealous of your minimal interaction with Jeon Jungkook, the innocent football team captain that had every girl swaying for him.

But you were not those girls.

However, you were not blind either, having analyzed the athlete’s intriguing beauty more than once. Training hours, for example, where the most convenient situations in which you could stare at him without being tackled by an arrogant cheerleader or a mad psychopath. An advantage of playing field hockey was that most of the time, your schedules collided with the male ones; offering you a pleasing view of those sweaty men who seemed to be gods-or that’s what Jen, our coach and single forty-year-old mother, said.

Anyways, Jeon Jungkook was a handsome guy who was too oblivious to notice the girls formed a straight line behind him-“What? Little Hobi is scared that his best friend is going to abandon him for some boy?”-you playfully sang while pinching his right cheek. Hoseok chuckled and swerved his head out of your reach, pushing you up to your spot as DJ-“No, I’m worried that if you go for too long, someone will get up here and start playing with your toys”-he winked and nodded towards your precious equipment-“I don’t want to comfort you like the other time”

Remembering how you had suffered when your old mixer had been broken by some random guy at a private gathering, you swiftly grasped your headphones and began mixing the songs that had been requested.

Music was your passion.

Your mother was the one who introduced you to it. She was the most talented violinist you had the pleasure to hear. The delicate strokes she created with her refined bow were majestic, entrancing every single person in the audience. You remembered fondly how your father danced at the violin’s rhythm with you draped around his embrace. Unfortunately, your parents died during a business trip and you were left with your uncle and your obnoxious little cousins. Although you loved them, they didn’t even make an effort to understand your love for music, abolishing everything related to it from his house.

Actually, that’s how you met Hoseok. Because of your uncle’s intolerance, you sought another place to express yourself. Practice rooms were always occupied by band or orchestra students and although you knew how to play some instruments, you wanted to be by yourself. The only sector available was the dancing salons, which were barely used. You had gone to the booking reception and asked for the room but someone next to you seemed to have the same idea. Jung Hoseok had been the only student you had fought over a practice room. And you were glad you did because if you hadn’t, you would have never actually become best friends.

Your fingers skipped through the vibrating board, twirling and pressing buttons repeatedly. Your laptop showed the songs placed on a queue and the ones that were currently breaking through the large speakers at your sides. Instinctively, your body moved with the rhythm, head bopping and eyes fluttered shut. Everything was fine, you were having a great time and no one seemed to complain about your skills.

‘Just dance and feel, the night has just begun’

()

Jungkook washed his hands and turned off the bathroom’s lights before exciting the expensive room and emerging into the dim corridor. He heard a giggle from the door facing him and then a loud moan followed, unfaltering bumps accompanying the latter sound. Quickly, he drowned his palms into his pockets and made sure to place himself as far as possible from there.

At the middle of his journey, Jimin had altered his trajectory and had dragged him into the living room. Music had risen from the last time he had stepped inside the area and more people crowded the space. The same girls that had been gossiping at the house’s entrance were now swaying their hips while on top of Hoseok’s coffee table, boys admiring their figures from the cushion below. Colourful lights flashed everyone’s faces with ferocity as Jimin began dancing to the song’s steady rhythm.

Jungkook followed him right away.

“Look to your right”-his friend advised. Jungkook did so, watching how two boys flirted with each other before crashing their lips together-“What do you think?”

“That people’s sexuality is not of your business?”

“What? No!”-Jimin exclaimed-“I meant the DJ, Jungkook”

So he twirled his head once again, now aiming a little bit further into the jumping crowd. At the top of what it seemed to be wooden deck there, you stood, enjoying the music whereas a red plastic cup accompanied your hand´s movements. You were absolutely stunning. Large black headphones contrasted with your flawless mane, which cascaded down your happily relaxed features. Although he could not see your legs, your upper half was decorated with a strapless white top, accentuating your breasts and shoulders. Now Jungkook knew why Jimin had nudged him to direct his gaze towards your place. You were not only sexy but also incredibly smooth.

You introduced the following song by lowering the former´s one volume, leaving just the bass playing. Afterwards, you raised the volume at its maximum and dropped the actual beat, receiving a drowning round of excited scream-” She´s Y/N”-Jimin explained in Jungkook´s ear, making him advert his piercing stare from you-” Hoseok´s hot best friend”

Out of nowhere, Taehyung emerged from the aggressive mass besides Jungkook´s friend. He was clearly drunker than he had intended to be, tumbling past Jimin and finally plopping on Jungkook´s hard shoulder-” What are we discussing ´bout?”-he slurred lazily. Jimin thrust his neck sideways, signalling a secluded couch where their friend could rest for a while. Pushing Taehyung with no mercy, Jungkook managed to slump the nearly dead body over the inviting cushion. Jimin sat on the narrow table in front, sighing quietly before swinging his hand and motioning Jungkook to imitate him-” So?”-Taehyung was not giving up-” What were you talking ´bout?”

“Hoseok´s friend”-Jimin answered but the brunette seemed unconvinced, turning to Jungkook for a second opinion. The lost boy just nodded reassuringly, his gaze moving through the crowd and landing on top of you once again. God, now you had taken off your headsets; savage hair swaying with your whole body-“Her? Yeah, she’s hot...”-Taehyung agreed before bumping his head back down and extending his hands upwards-“Y/N L/N!”-he began to call for you, earning some weird looks-“Jimin and Jungkook are demanding your attention~!”

Jimin was the one who jumped on top of him and covered his mouth with his palm, spatting a ‘Are you stupid?’ to his face. Sighing with relief, Jungkook knew you were too far away to even hear what Taehyung had screamed. However, despite that fact, he didn’t take into account that Hoseok had been standing behind Jungkook during the entire scene-“I mean, he is not wrong”-Hoseok chuckled nonchalantly. Jimin’s face should have been recorded. Eyes widened, lips opened and hands still on top of Taehyung’s face, Jimin’s concern could be seen from miles away.

Jung Hoseok was not the scary type of man. In fact, he was extremely sociable and sweet, known throughout the campus for his charisma and dancing skills. But that did not abolish the fact that he was actually really protective over what he loved. His family, his dog, his girlfriend... his best friend; were practically untouchable. Therefore, it was no secret you were single yet no one dared to speak to you romantically-“W-We...”-Jimin gaped but no words left his mouth.

“We were talking about Y/N”-Jungkook spoke up, twirling his torso in order to face the man behind him. Hoseok seemed amused as if challenging him was not on his plans but Jungkook did not flatter, maintaining eye contact with Hoseok’s flaming stare-“Is there a problem?”

Maybe it was the alcohol talking for him but he was uttering things he would have never even dared to think. Now he was standing, facing Hoseok fully-“It depends on what you were saying”-he answered, thrusting his palms slightly forward sending Jungkook backwards-“What? She’s of your property now?”-the football captain retorted, biting down on his tongue before clenching his jaw strenuously.

Hoseok gazed the unpleasing audience around them, judging without fear their actions. He gulped but decided to stand for himself and, most importantly, you-“No”-he spat-“But no one should speak about a person like that”

“Oh, don’t be such hypocrite!”-Jungkook rolled his eyes, crossing his toned forearms over his puffed chest-“We both know you’re no saint, Hoseok”

Regret tumbled on Jungkook’s opponent’s features, images of his past experience hunting him down. Despite wearing a huge smile every day, Hoseok did have some deep secrets too; like the fact, he had harassed a girl during a party held after an important game. Maybe that was the reason why he was so overprotective with you...maybe he was just trying to keep you safe from people’s lack of willpower.

Everyone gasped with Jungkook’s statement and he caught how the music had lowered its volume abruptly, leaving a melodious hum floating with the tense air. His eyes darted your way but you were nowhere in sight. Because of his worry, Jungkook was unable to dodge Hoseok’s punch towards his stomach, which had him vending in a matter of seconds. Coughing, he gained some strength and swerved away from Hoseok’s exasperated reach. The red-haired threw one, two, even three fists but they all landed on spots besides Jungkook.

Hoseok was now stumbling, clearly exhausted. Jungkook took advantage of his state and struck a final kick into his abdomen, grabbing his shirt’s collar so as for him to face him entirely-“Don’t ever touch me again...”

“What’s happening?”

You emerged from the crowd, beautiful features drowned by concern. Now Jungkook could admire you fully, taking in your slender legs peeking through your tight black skirt, your feet covered with same-coloured heels. Despite being smaller than him, Jungkook felt intimidated by your confidence. As you moved forward to the scene, some people began whispering mischievously; trying to figure out what would happen.

Jungkook felt how his stomach bolted notoriously while you helped Hoseok up, resting his right arm around your shoulders. Finally, your gaze landed on his; embarrassment flashing through your iris. Everyone seemed to vanish, the only sound remaining being Jungkook’s labour breathing and drumming heartbeat. Mesmerizing eyes were still fixed upon him and Jungkook couldn’t help but wonder if you were just as amazed as he was with you.

But unbelievable moments were meant to be broken for you had a drunken man attached to your side and thousands of excited teenagers waiting for the party to start again-“I’m going to take Hoseok to his room!”-you announced smiling vaguely as if you were done with everyone and everything. Yet you managed to raise the music’s volume with a tiny remote control and leave the place without anyone noticing. Well, everyone but Jungkook.

“Jimin, take care of Taehyung”-Jungkook declared before disappearing followed by Jimin’s annoyed growl. You could be in danger, right? Being with a nearly-unconscious adolescent could lead to various scenarios, maybe Hoseok was not as innocent as everyone thought he was... and Jungkook knew that perfectly well.

With that thought in mind, his legs sped up through the narrow hallway which introduced him to Hoseok’s gigantic room. The door was cracked open, so you might have already entered the place. Pushing the piece of wood at its end, Jungkook stepped inside the room and relief washed over him. There you were, knelt besides Hoseok’s dreaming form on his bed. Jungkook was reluctant in whether he should have approached you or not but you were yet again faster than him, twirling your torso and gifting him a marvellous view of your profile.

God, he had seen you during practice. How your ponytail would flop from one side to another when you ran or how your determination would never leave your features although things were not going exactly as you had planned. He had always thought you were beautiful. However, when the moonlight shone across your blushed cheeks and your lips were slightly opened so as to breath properly, he pictured you as an actual goddess.

“I’m fine, Jungkook”-you whispered, standing up and walking towards him-“Go...enjoy the party”

Yet Jungkook didn’t move. Even though your warm grin ordered him to follow your indirect order, he didn’t want to change you for some kind of social-fucking-gathering-“Let’s go together then”-he proposed and you giggled shaking your head-“I have to take care of Hoseok”

And by the way, you looked towards your best friend, he knew there would be no excuse that would drag you out of the room. Therefore, Jungkook sighed closing the door and then proceeded to look for a comfortable place to lay himself on. Surveying the enormous expansion, he smirked to himself when he bumped into a blue cushion which was far from Hoseok’s bed but close enough to keep an eye on him-“What are you doing?”

You inquired from the threshold, arms crossed and eyebrows raised in amusement-“If you are not going downstairs with me...”-Jungkook answered while plopping himself down on the couch-“Then I don’t want to go”

“And why is that?”-you played along, discarding your complex heels away and moving tentatively from the door. Jungkook couldn’t help but admire how your tightly hugged hips swayed steadily as if music’s beats slept inside you. Soon enough your reached Jungkook’s comfortable position and decided to stay standing in front of him, staring how his tanned chest peaked through the collar of his opened shirt or how his worked tights looked exceptionally good with those jeans. Either one of them, you had to admit that maybe you were one of those girls who had been charmed by Jungkook’s handsomeness.

“Because there’s no other person who interests me down there more than you”-he dared to admit. Yes, you had lost all coherent thoughts. You crawled on top of his lap, sensing how his hands immediately groped your bottom earning a slight gasp from you-“And you? Why don’t you go downstairs?”-he whispered in your ear.

“I have to take care of Hoseok”-you said. Lips mocked each other, floating just above on another. His mint breath fanned your features and his large hands had rolled up your skirt, leaving your white lingerie exposed to anyone who entered the room-“Is that it?”-he repeated now caressing a finger to your already humid opening which was still covered by the lace cloth.

Your eyes fluttered shut in response to his minimal touch, bottom lip hiding submissively behind your teeth. Jungkook painted your face inside his mind rapidly, not wanting to forget how pleased you looked by his actions-“So? Are you really here just for Hoseok?”-he dared to move your underwear aside, gracing the skin beyond and marvelling with the amount of moisture lapping from it.

“No”-you moaned under your breath-“I-I...”-you couldn’t find the right words to express your desire, how much you wanted him to fuck you roughly on your best friend’s couch. So you grabbed his face and crashed your lips with his, tongue pouring impatiently out of your mouth and into his. Jungkook groaned wildly, sneaking his fingers away from your cunt and upwards to your fitting top. He was quick to dismiss that item too, which soon accompanied your long-forgotten heels.

Your rosy bud aroused due to the sudden touch of the room’s cold but Jungkook’s hands were already there to warm them up, squeezing both of your breasts as you moved down on him. He broke your make-out session by attacking your neck, licking his way downwards to the valley on your chest. He kissed your right mound and latched his swollen lips with your wanting nipple. You whimpered, clasping his chestnut locks desperately and pushing him even further into your exposed skin. He groaned and began playing with your neglected breast, freehand then moving to your ass and slapping it slightly.

“Fuck!”-you swore and he couldn’t be more pleased with it. With a loud pop, he lost himself with your sinful expression, giving you the right amount of time to free yourself from his grip and kneel on the floor, face in front of his clothed cock. Skillfully you unbuttoned his pants and discarded his underwear, leaving his length completely exposed. Liquidy precum glossed his large shaft and you had to admit that you were surprisingly intimidated by the sight of it-“What? Is my cock too big for you?”-he chuckled and you looked up, challenging eyes battling with determination itself.

You gently grasped the base of his cock with your left hand and lined his swollen crimson tip with your parted lips. He contained a breath as your tongue peaked out of its cavern and tasted the fluid covering his length, toying with it for a while before taking in the first part of it-“God!”-he screamed dumbly pulling your hair backwards to have a good look of your bobbing head and teary eyes. You thrust his cock even further into your mouth, gagging just when he reached the back of your throat. Slurping sounds and moans full of lust echoed through the shallow room while your clothed pussy creamed the expensive underwear that you had bought the other day. But you could not care less as you sucked harshly on Jungkook´s titanic shaft, provoking breathy whimpers and harsh tucks on your spontaneous ponytail.

Jungkook was lost in utter pleasure, your hands-which now squeezed his balls with confidence-contributing to his blissful delight. He was cumming. He knew it and you surely knew it too. But he was not going to be the first one to fall. Jungkook took advantage of your vulnerability and yanked your head away from his virility by your loose ponytail, tending your back on top of the couch. Hurriedly he climbed on top of you and, although he would have killed to taste your juices right then and there, he knew both of you had minimal time to enjoy yourselves. He removed your last piece of clothing and centred his length on your pussy.

You moaned when his tip graced your sensitive entrance, tickling your clit when he began moving it upwards and then-tentatively slow-downwards-“Get on with it, Jeon!”-you begged and he chuckled darkly. He managed to sneak a hand down your stomach and placed his middle finger on top of your juicy slit. He slid it until it reached your sensitive nerve bound and you nearly screamed when he pressed it tenderly-“Hm? What do you want, baby?”-he growled, pushing his shaft a little bit further into you-“Ah!”-you moaned and clutched his broad shoulders-“Use your words...”-he mocked.

“Fuck me, please!”-

Without further do, he stumped his full size inside your needy cunt and groaned when your walls tightened around him. He was huge, stretching every inch of your vagina with every single thrust; going deep, deep, deep...-“Ah!”-you whimpered when his nimble fingers buried themselves in your creamy inner lips, caressing your clit as if it was the silkiest fabric he had ever touched-“Why don’t you moan a little louder?”-he asked, accentuating his last word by burying himself deep into your throbbing cunt and staying motionless for a whole minute.

“Please! Move, Jeon!”-you screamed while rolling your hips around his toned pelvic. You threw your head back, earning the right amount of contact in order to rub your sensitive bud over his hot sweaty skin. But he was cruel, planting his calloused palms on your hips maintaining you utterly still-“What?”-he smirked like the devil itself. Minutes ago he could barely make eye-contact with you, what had happened? You weren’t complaining though when he roughly slapped your right ass cheek, leaving the warmth emanating from your pussy before slamming himself back in again-“Aren’t you worried your best friend might wake up?”

Hoseok, fuck.

Jungkook chuckled as you snapped your head sideways, searching for any sudden movements from Hobi’s dormant self-“Because...”-he spoke again-“I wouldn’t mind him seeing you like this, begging just for me”-Fucking Jeon Jungkook on your best friend’s couch, inside his room while he’s slept literally a few steps away from you; wasn’t and had never been on your plans. However, when someone as him was now hungrily staring at your body and nearly touching your cervix with his titanic cock, you couldn’t-not even thought about-turning down his offer.

Therefore, you pushed his chest backwards on the couch and placed yourself hurriedly on top of him, swirling your hips tentatively to make your point clear-“I wouldn’t mind that either, Jeon”-He groaned and you took the lead, riding him mercilessly as you moaned while throwing your head upwards. It was a sinful melody; his growls, your uncontrollable whines, and the slurping sound bumping with the steady music. You were about to reach your climax. He wasn’t too far either.

Jungkook’s hips met your movements halfway, creating a new sensation that you couldn’t actually describe. It was amazing. So much so, that when he growled and pushed his cock even further into you, creaming every inch of your vagina, you came undone. A large moan erupted from the back of your throat, freeing every bit of pleasure swimming inside you. It was the most wonderful orgasm you had ever experienced and Jungkook must have known it too, for his smirk was extremely huge and hands were already circling your exhausted frame-“That was...”

“Fuck”-he muttered, not believing any of what had happened. He had sex with Hoseok’s best friend, the most astonishing woman he could have laid his eyes on-“Yes”-you agreed, moving away from him so as to look for something warm to cover both of you. Soon enough, you found a large quilt that would provide a nice warmth.

“You know”-he spoke when you crawled beside him, tangling your arms around his chest while his hands cupped the sides of your hips-“I couldn’t hear you, the music was so fucking loud...”-he mumbled on your skin, fingertips taunting your bare tight-“That’s why I’m getting paid for, Jeon”

“Then maybe next time I will have to make you scream harder”

#bts #bts x reader #bts x you #bts army #bts x y/n #army #jeon jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jeon jeongguk #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts jungkook #jungkook #jungkook x y/n #bts smut #bts au #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic

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cherry-slushie-cosplay-blog · 5 years ago

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Freshman Year Quotes

Ok so I did a list of all the stupid shit I heard in my Freshman year of high school. Enjoy.

(T) - Teacher (AP) - Freshman Assistant Principal

FRESHMAN YEAR ----

"Any weeb brethren, see me after class I want to be friends." *class is totally silent* "*loudly* I have a seven inch penis." "I'm a farmer bitch I will throw my crops at you." "You can teach tiny cil- chilr- chilud- chiluden, wait what?" "I'm telling Jesus!" "Jesus already knows." "(T) Use your 5 sols! Haha, get it? Like soul?" "Bold of you to assume I have any at all." "HE CALLED ME THE N-WORD, HE CALLED- oh shit you're a girl my bad I'm just messing around trying to get someone in trouble. Have a nice weekend!" "Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht...FUCK!" "How do you make an equilateral square?" "I think my back has scoliosis." "I've got a bag of chicken." "Why do you have a bag of chicken?" "Because. Why do you have a bottle with mangos on it?" "This- this is mango-flavored tea!" "AND THIS IS CHICKEN-FLAVORED BAG" "...and some condoms have spermicide which kills off the sperm. Don't ask me how I know all that, Mrs. ********." "Are you from Russian?" "Sit your ADHD-filled ass down." "If we were in hell, do you really think I would be here?" "(T) Yes." (T) "Is stupid written on your forehead?" "I don't know, is it written on yours?" "His forehead's big enough for it." "That looks like an orgy pile over there." "Why do you guys always sit behind me?" "If we want to kill you, you won't see it coming." "Is this what Julius Caesar felt like?" "You're so tiny! You look like a doll!" "And you look like a cock-riding motherfucker." " Technically, time is a construct." "Technically, none of this matters and we're all gonna die soon." "Will you two shut up please?" (T) "My 2019 has been completed, I made a student cry." (This was January 10th btw) (T) "As long as you do your best and turn that in, you'll be fine." "What if my best sucks and I get a bad grade?" "Ok that was good I'm gonna give you that." "I'm gonna put on black lipstick and go to sleep." *Aggressively singing Dream Daddy For Me* "What's that?" "A grapefruit." "Bitch that ain't a grape." "No, grapeFRUIT." "It looks like you put Kool Aid in an orange." "Dude it's called a grapefruit." "No, fuck you and your Kool Aid orange." "I ate a mouse dongle." "Why the fuck would you do that?" "I don't know, I just did." "Racism is my bitch. I bend racism over and take it from behind." "A function is an input and a function...oh wait hold on I messed up- stop laughing at me I got this." "James Charles did one of Bob Ross's tutorials on his forehead." "So he has a big forehead-" "Shut the hell up ***** no one cares." "The answer was D! D as in 'Dinosaur chicken nuggets'!" (T) "What are the first ten amendments?" "I know the ten COMMANDments." "No one cares, we're not in Christian school." "YES WE ARE HAIL MARY" (T) "Do your work or the Lord may strike you." *this was at the religious girl from the previous quote* "What time is it?" "It's fuckin uhhhhh noon o 5." "Noon o 5?" "I forgot the word twelve." "I SEE HEADLIGHTS" "Hm?" "Headlights is nipples." "If this is a test I'm gonna throw myself out the window. I was about to go to the hospital this weekend and I'm still gonna make it happen." "I won't T-Pose for dominance but I will screech and make your eardrums bleed." "Does anyone remember Llamas With Hats?" 4 people: "caAAARRLLLLL" "Pagans terrify me." "Why?" "Every pagan I know of is a furry." "sKeDaDdLe SkAdOoDlE yOuR dIcK iS nOw A nOoDlE" "NO NOT IN MATH CLASS" "Doodlebops." "shUT THE FUCK UP" "I watched that yesterday, I have it on DVD." "WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE DOODLEBOPS ON DVD" (T) *random Chewbacca noise* "My brain is smaller than my dick." "If you feel stupid, you should." "What about King Solomon?" (T) "What has Solomon ever done for America?" "What have YOU ever done for America?" "Nothing should be in your mouth unless it's a banana." "What type of banana?" "A yellow one, duh." *laughter* "Or a green one, whichever you like more." (T) "For the people who I'm signing these for: are you going to the farm-" "YES WE FINNA BE COWBOYS" (T) "What y'all playing over there?" "Chess." (T) "I hope you lose." (T) "If you're stupid, it's your fault." (T) "Let's go guys!" "hoLD ON I'M SAVING MY POKEMON GAME" "There's people taking pictures down there - should I pour Monster on them?" "When you gave me my pencil I was like 'I like Zoe, she's nice' in my brain and then my brain somehow connected that to 'You tryna smash?' and another part of my brain said 'No, stop, she'd cut your dick off'." "That's the strangest intrusive thought I've ever heard from a friend." "How many of y'all think I'm gay?" *about 6 people raise their hands* "Ok then." "May I please go to the bathroom?" (T) "You just have to get out of here at any chance you get, don't you?" "I'm serious, I'm really hungry, does anyone have any food?" "I have lotion." "Fuck you." (T) "OH MY GOD SHE HAS TAP SHOES CAN YOU DANCE???" "...no" (T) "YOU STILL LOOK GOOD" *watching Sorcerer's Stone* "Who's at the window?" *ta-da it's Malfoy* "Oh it's a blonde-headed lesbian." "Shit fuck goddammit bitch pussy fucking Jesus Christ." "I have ibuprofen, you know." "Nah, I'm good." "I'm a lil loli short and flat~ My head is for pat- wait fuck what was it" "Hello~ my fuCKING HIP OW" "Are you ok?" "I popped my hip...Hello, my name is Elder Price~" (T) "Here, it's legal to marry your 2nd cousin twice removed." "I'm doing it." (T) "******** no-" "Fuck (insert name of school district), man. On my mom." "I wanna fucking die I hate this class." "No. I look like Jesus, I'm telling you no. Therefore, Jesus says no and you're not allowed to die." (T) "How else could we have solved this?" "With a calculator." "Did Diego steal his money from Dora?" (T) "I don't know, moving on." "All y'all talking about how your souls are dark black, mine is baby blue. It's brighter than your hair." "uwu my stomach hurts" "I'm serious I'm not on my phone." (T) "Oh really?" "I swear to GOD she wasn't!" (T) "Oooooohhh" "Holy shit Zoe you're gonna send **** to hell." "You were staring at me for like 20 seconds before calling on me!" (T) "No, my glass eye was staring at you. My real eye was over there seeing that stuff, and over here I didn't see sHIT." "I heard there's G-Spots in your ass, why don't you shove it up there and have some fun." "How about no?" "Suit yourself." "I don't like raw fish — it makes me sad." "100 senators!! Come ON, Sen - a - tors!" "Shut up go stick your head in a dick." "I want that Mormon Milk." "I'm begging you to stop talking." "I'm salivating for that salvation." "Shut the fuck up."

BONUS: SCHOOL'S POWER OUT

"My god that sun is brighter than Kirishima's smile." "Zoe is turning into Trina." "I'm breaking down~" "Come over here anyone who wants to take 'Golden-Hour Mental Breakdown' selfies and/or get Pocky." "Anyone who refuses to let their anxious child come home will be personally smacked by me with Zoe's copy of 'Half-Blood Prince'."

NORMAL SCHOOL

"Stab me in the ovary or whatever you said." "CORRODED ARTERY YOU ARE MALE" "Same difference." "Perfect boy lookin-ass- no homo." "What the fuck" "People think that Sherlock Holmes isn't real because he was written in a book. God was too but you don't see people denying HE exists, do you?" "Ok do a burpee." *burps loudly* "No a- you're a fucking idiot." "Heyyyyy Zoe, can we- holy shit is that Pornhub?" "How do you make a baby crawl in a circle?" "I don't fucking know." "Ok...do you know how to make one stop?" "When did you get here!?" "Couple minutes ago." "???" "I'm quiet and people generally don't notice I'm here." "...do you need a hug?" (T) "What'd you do this weekend?" "Some sewing." (T) "What'd you sew?" "Robes…" (T) "For what?" "*increasingly embarrassed* A costume." "From what?" "*very red by now* Harry Potter…" "Which character?" "*wanting to crawl into a hole* Draco Malfoy…" "*polite clapping from entire class*" (T) "He's on the road to alcoholism." "I'm doing a 21-Day challenge of not talking, if I do - punch me." (T) "Oooohhh this is gonna be fun." *knock at door* (T) "*presses face against door window* What's the password?" "bitCH GIVE ME BACK MY CAPRI-SUN" "It's not Capri-S-" "IT'S BOOTLEG CAPRI-SUN GIVE IT BACK" "Holy shit you turned the Jesus-freak gay." "What happens if you don't deletus the fetus?" "Then the abortion isn't completus." (T) Can you see where I'm going?" "To hell." "Oh look, a wasp." "KILL THAT SHIT" "Oh man I can't hear my eardrums." "How the fuck would you hear your eardrums?" "That's the POINT." "I like a p p l e s ~I like 'em big and juicy-" (T) "NO." "Everyone raise your hand if you want Mr. **** out of the room." *80% raises their hands* (T) "Even you?" "What do you mean 'even me'!?!?" "******? ******!!" "What?" "If I ask you a question will you be a douche?" "Probably." "Understandable." "What the hell am I reading?" "Words." "Mr. **** do you like donkey ducks?" (T) "I'm not even going to answer you." "I'm scared of homophobes." "Homophobophobia." "If gay is a slur does that mean that African American is a slur?" "Who has my mcfreaking phone? WHOMST HAS MY PHONE" (T) "Ooh free charger! *wraps cord around neck like a scarf*" "Whee whee mone me jam apple laff-yeti" "If someone is being homophobic, give them dyslexia." "Troom Troom life hack: if someone is harassing you — eat them." "Troom Troom banana hack: if someone is harassing you — shove a banana up their ass." (T) "Take that hat off." "I'm a gangsta." "I'm never gonna use this shit. Do you think I'm gonna go to McDonald's and say something like, I don't know, 'Oh riddle me dubious'? NO." "I'm gonna meticulate you until you get dyslexia." "What the fuck does that even mean?" "I'm gonna meticulate your rectum." "Please stop." (T) "See that girl? She likes bad boys." (T) "Ask her, she has tape." "What the hell has made you think I have tape?!?" "I don't care if you have 106% in this class, you can kiss my fat ass!" "No, PICasso." "I like Costco-" "No." "Holy shit *points at red train in movie watched in class* it's the Hogwarts Express." "Stop it." "Choo choo bitch we goin' to magic school." (T) "Guys Mr. ***** is in here, quick make it look like you're doing math." "3 + 7 = 9!!!" "Are you serious?" "MOVE IT, MUNCHKINS!" *shoves us apart and runs off* "Excuse-moi, I'm gonna beat her ass." "Oh my god someone's weave is on the floor." "Only at (insert school name here)." "THERE'S MORE THEY THREW IT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW" "*handing out books* Take this dick, *throws book on student's desk next to me* and here you go. *places book gently on my desk*" "waIT TAKE THAT BACK I WANT A 'HERE YOU GO' WTF" (T) "-and so the corn salsa would be 20...thaaaat's not one of the answers oh no." "You fucking whore, happy birthday." (T) "How do you know you are college and career ready?" "Because Jesus loves me." "Last time I shit my pants was in middle school." "rePEAT THAT?" "I'm gonna show up tomorrow with AIDS." "Did you just say you'd show up with AIDS?" "Yeah." "Why??" "Cause HE put his spit on me." "I'm borrowing your chair. To sleep." "I'm straight as a line." "Oh? *makes loop-de-loops in the air* You mean THIS line?" (T) "I will decimate you. I will wipe your name from the earth." "Is the government making us take this test?" (T) "No, the district is making us take it." "Well the district can suck my ass." *calling every white person in a certain scene of Ernest Green a toothpick* "Is it just me or does ******** seem like he'd end up having a job at Chuck and Dale's?" "GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE I WANNA WATCH MERLIN" (T) "You boys don't know how to chop down a tree, do you? You wouldn't be able to do that." "Yes I would, I do it in Minecraft all the time!" (T) "Ok, remember to put your name on your paper." "No. I have no name. She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Voldemordita." "Stop it." "Shut up, both y'all gay, always smackin' each other's asses in class." (T) "Easy, Luigi, we're not watching a movie." (This was a sub for Civics class and he had just walked in 2 minutes prior. The student's name was not Luigi) "Hold on I'm gonna be Oprah: YOU GET A CALCULATOR, YOU GET A CALCULATOR!" "Y'know ***** still needs one." "F R I C K" *girl walks into a desk* "There's a desk there ****." "I KNOW fuck OFF" "I feel like we need to warn her about everything when she walks." "Watch out for life, ****." "Can we do it on paper?" (T) "No, this is not Burger King." *leaving the room* "Remember, cocaine is not your friend. I'll kick your ass." (T) "Wow! It's Good Friday, and you're talking about your baptism and stuff like that, and you said 'oh my fricking god'? For shame." (T) "I'm on a lot of drugs and alcohol right now and I can't feel anything." "Oh my GOD USE A YARDSTICK" "No." "MR. ******** I'M GONNA HURT HER" "Gonna stab her with the yardstick?" "I need bail money." "I need money PERIOD." "DRAW. A STRAIGHT. L I N E." "NO, FUCK YOU" "You know you're gay when it takes you 3 tries to draw a straight line." "DON'T TAKE MY JOKE" "You definitely know you're gay if it still isn't straight after 3 tries." (T) "What would you do if someone came into your neighborhood?" "Who's neighborhood? Mr. Rodger's?" "I have 15 pets." "I have 13 siblings, does that count?" "No but it does mean that your parents need to learn how to use a fucking condom." "Hi my name is J. Michael Tater Tot welcome to the Dairy Dome." "Dyslexia? I thought you said...cannibalistic tendencies." "What?" "I couldn't think of anything that rhymed." "You need to flex seal your anus closed." "If you don't fucking shut up I will shave off your eyebrows using my toenail as a razor you cunt." "Sippy Cup looks depressed." "Sippy Cup, you going through some shit?" "Hit or Miss, I guess they never miss, huh? You got a boyfriend-" "Yep." "I bet he doesn't kiss ya!" "Haha nope." "Ew I look like Casper." (T) "...and we're going to write a paragraph." "Oh you're FUNNY." "I think I'm switch. Like, I'm good with being sub, but I'd like to dominate my bitch too. Like F.B.I get on the ground open your legs." "Ms. ******* that's really bright-" (T) "YOU'RE bright." Video: *talking about how important this song is to them* (T) "I don't care stop talking." "I peed on the desk again." "Key word: AGAIN???" "You should send ****** and I to get them." "That is a HORRIBLE idea." "What do you mean it's a horrible idea? You don't know me!" "What do you mean 'I don't know you?' We have gone to school together for almost 4 years." (T) "Look, I know you're obsessed with me, GET TO WORK." "He's harassing me." "You harassed me first. It's not harassment if you do it in self-defense." "You can have the benefit of my middle finger." "It's the progression of the climb of the rocket." (T) "Oh my GOOODDDD JUST SAY IT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING" "Fine. The speed." (T) "ExACTLY." "Oh look a firetruck's outside." "Whee whoo whee whoo- oh my god you're serious. Oh god it's (crappy fire department) jesus christ." "I think we need to potty train our classmates again." "AGAIN???" "Well, yeah. They're supposed to be." "'Supposed to' and 'are' are two different things." "Mr. **** can I put mascara on you?" (T) "No." "Whyyyyy?" (T) "Do I look like a Barbie doll?" (T) "Mascara girl is the one who's talking." "You act like I don't have a name!!!" "Do you?" "What the hell are you doing?" "It makes your eyelashes look nicer." "Yeah; easy, breezy, beautiful: Covergirl. Get with the program." "James Charles is QUAKING." "Sister shook." "Give me my paper." "Bitch I'm gluing my fingers together, I didn't fucking take it." "Do you have a charger?" "No, but I have a notebook full of English notes." "I don't have any round characters, all of mine are gay and sad."

BONUS 2: BIRTHDAY

"I'm sorry I don't have anything for you for your birthday all I have is Reese's and duct tape." "Wait it's your birthday??? HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO-" "NO STOP SHE DOESN'T WANT THAT" "Thank you." "You're welcome." (T) "Pay attention my dudes." *collective groaning from entire class* "*asking for tampons*" (T) "*holding a marker* I can throw another red one at you." "I don't get it. *sudden realization*" (T) "***** pick your jaw up off the floor, I was joking." "I'm tired of the word 'domain'." "Oh yeahhhh me too, cause we hear it a lot in physics now." "Domain, domain, domain; I hate it." "I'm in a domain of hating myself." "I'm joking, I love you." "I'm not joking, but I love you too anyways." "**** don't lose your Crocs again." (T) "Get that earbud out of your ear." "No, this is keeping me sane." "Why is my name 'desire'??? I put it as 'pee pee poo poo'!"

NORMAL SCHOOL

"I've finally done a fraction! I flipped it over, turned it around, smacked its ass and had it call me daddy." "PARDON???" "What?" (in Physics talking about electricity) "Ok positive top, negative bottom-" "ME?" "He said you can't learn if you burn but you do learn. You learn fire is hot. Also the sensation of being burned alive as you are consumed by flames." "*shows Thanos smut* Spoilers for Endgame that no one asked for." "Legend has it that if you work at the Dairy Dome, you get free tickets to Domegame." Have a marvelous Monday, a Terrific Tuesday, a Wonderful Wednesday, a...Thesis Thursday. I couldn't think of anything." "You look like a frog." (T) "And you look like a squid." "Someone today said I looked like a drug dealer magician. Would you like *sweeps off hat* MARIJUANA??? Or...*pretends to pull something out of hat* COKE??? Perhaps some *flourishes* *whispers* acid???" "I'm gonna Detroit Smash him to hell." "LGBT, let's get this bread." "My hero academia as in Aizawa can shove my ass up his head- wait hold on" "*talking about Ariel* She's hot but that doesn't excuse the fact that she put her entire species in jeopardy for some dick." (T) "Does anyone not have medicine in their bag that ******* cannot have while I look down at the floor because I dropped my pen?" (T) "*reaches for paper*" "Ah ah **** no swipin'." *in science class* "Nothing's happening but I saw that bitch SPARK and I'm terrified." "I'm basically teacher today, your assignment is to do nothing. YOU get an A." "SHUT UP MOTHERFUCKER I'LL EAT YOUR ANUS THEY DON'T CALL ME RECTUMUS PRIME FOR NOTHING" "EXCUSE ME" "What was the word again?" "David Hasselhoff?" "What, no???" "This is why you shouldn't scratch yourself, here." "*instantly shoves necklace in mouth*" "I wouldn't use that as a chew fidget, I got it off the ground in Louisiana." "*chews even more aggressively*" (T) "Don't mess with me I will throw something at you, I played softball for 14 years." "Really???" (T) "Yeah. I was the captain biatch." "James Charles looks like the dragon from Shrek." "***'s touching my wenis." "Gay fantasies don't really matter." "Yeah, I mean, did you see the way that Tony and Cap looked at each other in Endgame?" "When he was, a young boy, his father, took him to the dark lord, to kill the principalofawizardachool" "He said son when, you grow up, will you b-" "HE SAID WILL YOU, GETSHANKEDINABATHROOM-" "Watch out: I have peanut butter and a knife!" (T) "All you need is at least a 60% to pass the test-" "BOI I GET 40S AND 30S IN YOUR CLASS AND YOU KNOW IT" (T) "So you used to go to (other school name)?" "Yeah. But people growling and barking at me was a little much." (T) "Were they furries?" "Dude, tornadoes in Kansas are no joke." "But you go to Oz." "THERE AIN'T NO YELLOW BRICK ROAD AFTER A TORNADO" "Uh, yeah! Yellow brick road to HEAVEN." "Toto isn't god” "You awakened something you didn't want to awaken." "Is it god??? Is it Totoro? Remember to pay your taxes or Hong Kong will come eat you." "Today's weather is cloudy with a chance of rectal prolapse." (T) "Who's at the door?" "It's ***." (T) "Who's ***?" "***. Your student." (T) "*opens door* Who are you?" "I'm nobody." "Who is commander in chief of the military? My p e n i s" "Are those grandma shoes??? Can I e a t them???" "She sounds like a fetus screaming for extra guac at Chik-Fil-A." "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN" "*singing the Boku No Pico theme off-key in a loli voice*" "I will hit you." "I'd feel bad for you but you have a 69% and that causes you to get a D and I can't look that over." "Do you ever wonder where babies come from? Cause I don't. All you have to do is pee into a lady's Digornio." "rePEAT THAT??" "Don't forget to degrade your dog." "Imagine a world: where you have 2 fetuses hanging from your eyebrow."

BONUS 3: GIANT, END-OF-THE-YEAR CIVICS TEST

"Why the fuck is Christmas a national holiday???" (T) "Ok, the president during WWII was...Roose-" "-A PARKS" (T) "Are you even paying attention?" (T) "What happened on September 11th, 2001?" "9/11!" (T) "We're gonna need you to be a little more specific, buddy." (T) "What's a state that borders Canada?" "I deadass was about to say Arizona, I need sleep." "WHAT is your name?" "*****." "WHAT is your quest?" "To clap the best pussy out there." "*through laughter* What is your favorite color?" "The color of the next pussy I'm gonna crunch." "I got a Voltage from the ROTC room, and I dropped it and someone said 'OOH', picked it up and yeeted with it." "WHAT THE FUCK I'D SHIT ON THEIR HOUSE" "Can we play a song after our presentation?" (T) "As long as it's not like 20 minutes like an Allman Brothers song." "Huh?" (T) "You know how when you have an acid trip, people tell you to listen to the Allman Brothers?" "..." (T) "I'm old." (T) "If this eye starts drooping, there was something in the brownie." (T) "*teaching us Piccolo Mini*" "You just made me feel dyslexic." "YOU GUYS WANNA KNOW THE TEA??? I'M THE REAL HOE" *applause from class* "BITCH WE BEEN KNEW" "*unintelligible*" (T) "What?" "*still unintelligible*" (T) "I still didn't hear you." "You talk like your handwriting." "I WILL THROW THIS CROC AT YOU" "I will literally pay a dollar for one." "I will literally eat these." "Petunia is not a phone." "Electronic device, then." "She's not an electronic device, I gave birth to her." (T) "**** that's the whitest you've ever sounded." "My dingaling is messed up." "Mine too." (T) "Ok so say you wanted aides-" "I DON'T WANT AIDS WHAT THE HELL" (T) "IN THE CLASSROOM. CLASSROOM AIDES. HELPERS. "Can we talk while doing this?" (T) "No, this isn't Burger King." "What is your obsession with Burger King????" "HE'S SPRAYING IT DOWN. HE'S SPRAYING IT DOWN. HE'S PUTTING THE WHITE NECTAR ON THE RAMEN SINK" "Have you ever seen a 14 year old looking badass?" "Have you ever seen a beaver chomping down on a carrot? Cause I wanna see that." "I don't wanna go to Papa Louie's Arcade, Papa Louie can pop a cap in your ass." "Micheal does a Thanos Snap in season 14." "Cas, I don't feel so good." "NO" "Your Crocs are in sport mode." "My cock is hard." "THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID" "It's ok lil diglett I'm gonna evolve you." (T) "Stop it." "I'm gonna evolve you it's fine, you're weak but you're gonna get better. *throws stress ball at teacher*" (T) "******* looks like Ted Bundy" (T) "He's falling asleep. Hey, ****, are you sad you can't have an abortion?" "What???" (T) "If you don't like high school relationships, who's that guy you keep making out with in the hallway?" "*pointing at random places on the map in the civics classroom, threatening to deport each other to random places*" "You're jiggling my titties." "*half the class is singing I Write Sins Not Tragedies*" "I love you!" "Shut it, I'm doing a presentation." "I love you!!" "Stop." "I love you!!!" "God damnit, *******, I'm gonna hit you." (T) "If you drop any f-bombs during the presentation, I'm gonna kill you." "Bottom, take the apple." "I'm not black, I'm O.J." "Balls. That was the word." "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET 'BALLS' FROM 'THE BUCKS ARE WINNING THE FINALS'??" "Who's this? Tom? No I don't wanna streak with you. Stranger danger." "Why is it called Field Day if it's only 2 periods?" (AP) "I- That's actually a good question." "ALRIGHT THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO DO-" "*gets literally kissing distance from him* *salutes* Yes sir?" "We're playing cornhole." "Stop laughing, how is cornhole inappropriate?" "Mr. **** this is the type of yardstick that could take your kneecaps. Do you want me to take yours?" (T) "I'd like to see you try." "Is that Ratatouille?" "Ratatouille isn't the rat. That's Remy, you insolent fuck." "I'm gonna call you the 'G' word." "What's the 'G' word?" "Jew." "That's…porny." "...send it to me." "Where you going?" "To hell." "WHY" "*shrugs* Seems fun." "You see, this is why I need to work with you. I'm your insurance."

BONUS 4: FIELD DAY

(T) "Are you part 1 or part 2?" "Uh…" (T) "Top line or bottom line?" "Bottom- no, top- uhhhhh…" "He looks like a top." "I still don't understand why we fucking dropped Bohemian Rhapsody for a song from fucking T W I L I G H T." (T) "*throws a marker at the Assistant Principal*" *various cheers and "OHHHHHH"s from the class* (AP) "Are you actually serious." Not a quote but in the 2nd to last week of school, we spent almost the entirety of 4th period Algebra (including the teacher — he started it) throwing dry-erase markers at each other and didn't even stop when the AP (seen above) came in. (T) "*walks through the middle of the room*" "FIRE" *8 people pelt markers at him* "Wait you guys realize he's gonna throw all of those back, right?" "I have a D I'm hanging on the edge my dudes." "I did a math? I did a math!!!" "You did meth?" "YES!!!" "*gets head shoved out of window* OW! FUCK, ****** MY TIT" "You exude strong Kenny energy." "Why?" "Cause you die a lot? Cause your heart was replaced with a baked potato? Cause your family's poor?" "*laughing so hard we can't breathe*" "*leaves the cafeteria to calm down from laughing too hard*" "I'm having elementary school flashbacks." "Shut your social justice warrior ass up." "You ok?" "I stabbed myself." "Sorry, only girls get it. Also, this is my last customer today." "Hold on, if it's only girls, why does HE get it?" "Hi." "OH SHIT YOU'RE A GIRL MY BAD"

NORMAL SCHOOL

“Did I just witness a drug deal?” "Why do you look like a dad?" "I need some weed in my system again, I'm fucking drained." "There's a fucking big-ass run in my tights — I'm gonna eat my own ass and then some." "Hi I'm ***** and Mr. **** can suck my 13 inch dong. My Long John Silver." "This ignorant pickle of a person can die." "This cashew of a long dong. Cashews look like telephones." "A shirt says Mr. **** can suck my magnum horse, my stallion." "His mom should've fucking swallowed." "Spit his ass in a Dixie cup." "I will tattoo my eyes shut." "I'm talking about this mongoose man that's called Mr. ****." "Can you speak some Spanish?" "Hola, como estas, sugma." "Sugma?" "Suck my fuckin' balls lmao" "It's your sugar daddy. *shows picture of Andrew Jackson*" "It's Mr. **** as a woman." "That's fucking Christopher Columbus." "*howling laughter*" "I was just thinking 'have it stop raining so that I don't have to walk in it', but then I remembered I have work today so it should keep pouring. The more the sky cries, the less I cry. Unless I'm on drive." "Excuse me sir, *raises leg* my penis has fallen off." "I pray you get AIDS." (T) "Please throw away your sheet music, it's illegal to copy sheet music and I don't wanna go to jail." "*loud smack* I am so sorry, I didn't mean it to be that loud! Come here baby boy, let me give you the sweet taste of my mother milk." "It's not mother anymore, it's daddy now." "Dude what if you were born with a set of words that if said, would implode your testicles." "Bomb go boom, Mormons go extinct." "MR. **** YOU TOOK OUR NOODS" "DON'T TAKE THE NOODS" "NOT THE NOODS!!!" "****, I thought you were Catholic." "The pencil's black." "Like my ass-cheeks." "Someone stole it!!!!" "Like ****'s virginity."

BONUS 5: WATCHING INSIDIOUS (FOR SOME FUCKING REASON)

*kid falls off ladder* *various banshee screeches from students* "They're kissing AGAIN. This movie is NOT appropriate." "I'm hearding weeeesssst~ I don't know what to dooooo~ " That's not how you make a superpowered baby. You kill the mother and put her on the ceiling." "Wait, pause. What the hell?" "F.B.I, open up." "IT'S DALTON." "PUT A CHAIR ON THE DAMN DOOR" "HOW WOULD A CHAIR WORK AGAINST THE DEMON" "He's in a deep sleep. Wake him up with true love's kiss." "It's a pedo-demon! Everyone run!" "He's cheating on her." "What if this was linked to Supernatural?" "Ooh she's echoing now." "My legs are shaking bruh." "Is that blood on the window?" "No, it's a tree." "SMACK THE CHILD"

NORMAL SCHOOL

"I figured out why I'm so quiet today." "Oh, really?" "Yeah, *shows trembling hands* I'm on vibrate." "I can't wait to go to church."

BONUS 6: LAST DAY OF SCHOOL

"The first thing I ate when I came to this country, it was in the airport and it was Doritos." (T) "They gave me the shortest teachers' gown they had. I have a baby gown." "That isn't a happy little bush." "IT'S. TREE." "Hello ladies, *winks* *blows kiss*" "I'm GAY." *I Will Survive playing really loudly* "******* you're not in our friend group so get the FUCK OUT." "Now I can swear! FUCK Y'ALL BITCHES I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR KNEECAPS" "Oh shit it's an end of the year fight!" Four kids got into a fight at the same time and one got tazed."

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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years ago

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while i’m thinking about it: one of jkrs most baffling self contradictory inconsistencies (the whole jkr experience)

why is she so sensitive abt fans hating snape while also saying she doesn’t Get why there’s pro-draco-“little shit”-malfoy fans

like, she says the reason snape is a complex man who evades judgment is because of his Inner Motivations

and then she says she doesn’t understand why ppl would like draco M because of his outward demeanor and his usual actions

like! pick one!! because you yourself say the Grand Plan was always to reveal that malfoy was too good at heart to continue on the Road Of Evil, but then apparently you consider the most important defining thing about him to be his schoolyard bullying. meanwhile the shit snape pulls on the daily just doesn’t Count at all re interpreting his character? and the fact that he did shit that he was in a unique position to do—ONLY BECAUSE of his own choices!! he didn’t choose to become a death eater so he could be a spy!! he did it and THEN decided he wanted to keep lily’s son from actually dying and so yeah he could and would have to use his position for that objective! he was in such a Dangerous Position tho because he put himself there; he wasn’t somehow Braver than everyone else in the Order who never chose to be death eaters in the first place—somehow is the only thing that matters, and he has a free pass to do Anything Else and still be considered ultimately noble apparently

like also draco malfoy is 11-17 through the course of the series and by 16 is disillusioned w voldemort b/c voldemort sabotages so much of his own shit by needlessly making an example of the malfoys when a) needless and b) strategically awful—he needs all the followers he can get and just cuz lucius is somewhat useless doesnt mean draco and narcissa are?? and you literally made them lose any motivation to continue helping you. god. anyways Bigotry Is Bigotry even when you’re young & dray shouldve known better and shouldve learned faster and deserved to have everyone think he’s crap and beat him up. cue the AVPS “my name is draco malfoy. i.....am a racist...” etc etc monologue. but also, he WAS raised in a cult. doesn’t make it any more harmless, but in terms of maybe why people saw a redemption arc a million miles away and were rooting for it even while dray was still being an annoying shit? like, yeah, maybe it’s obvious rowling idk

and meanwhile snape was raised in that same cult but then when he was 16 he responded to “the girl i’m horny about is angry at me for hanging out with a hate group and calling her a magical slur” by uh.....continuing these things? and only ~repenting~ when this one person he’s obsessed with ended up dying; he was cruising along just fine otherwise. wasnt bothered about all those OTHER murders i guess! (when, also to contrast, all thru hbp / dh it’s repeatedly made clear that draco malf’s a weenie who doesn’t like Actual Murder.) and then, again, snape only decides to turn on voldemort b/c that’s the only way to uh...do something for lily who he just got killed i guess. it’s all a self-serving thing for his weird obsession because idk how to call it love when he didn’t give a shit about her husband and infant son or other friends or values or anything, he was just a possessive creepo

and then also snape is a bad teacher who for some reason refused to pass on his ACTUAL potions knowledge, bullied and terrorized the teen and preteen students, targeted students based on his random grudges, tried to get harry expelled all the time wtf?? and generally is a total shit taking up space where a competent teacher could be. oh!!! and outing lupin to the entire world just because he’s petty from like 15 yrs ago when lupin was like, the one guy who was passive in that whole mess, and revealing lupin as a werewolf immediately endangered him and meant he was practically outcast from all society for the rest of his life except for when he was able to take breaks with the order. like, jeez, kill snape already

anyways. its just totally self contradictory and thats jkr all over

#important that jkr set a massive precedent for accepting fandom during the crucial early stages of social media and while ppl like anne rice #were running around #and but now also jkr is playing the ‘’Authorial Intent Only’’ game and trying to control fans interpretations And #just lying about her own said Authorial Intent

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bluegreenspierfelds-blog · 6 years ago

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“That’s right motherfuckers...I’m Gay”

Simon Spier/Bram Greenfeld, Leah Burke/Garrett Laughlin (mentioned), Abby Suso/ Nick Eisner (mentioned)

2.4k words

In which Simon comes out on his terms...Bram isn’t so lucky

Simon is walking though his own personal hell, Creekwood High School. Granted, high school is supposed to suck. Simon didn’t hate school for the early mornings, nagging teachers or the stupid amount of homework he was assigned.

Nope.

He hated high school because his classmates, hormonal, overly sexually active classmates. Simon didn’t make it through a school day without seeing at least one straight couple sucking face or showing any form PDA. This particular morning, Simon was greeted by his two friends pressed up his locker making out...like making out...like almost making a baby….making out…Ew

How can they breathe?

Wow I hope they’re alright after this

KISSING MARATHON..WHO WILL WIN?

Simon got out of his realizing they didn’t feel his presence. He was staring at them for so long...he thought people would start staring at him. He sees the headline on Creeksecrets now.

SIMON SPIER: RESIDENT GAY GUY STARES AT HIS BEST FRIENDS KISSING EACH OTHER

IS HE ACTUALLY STRAIGHT? OR JUST FUCKING WEIRD??

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

“YO”

They broke apart like lighting struck in between them. Nick instantly reached for his binder he lazily threw on the floor. He immediately used to cover his boner...Ew...why did he even check to see if he had one….

Simon wasn’t expecting them to break apart so quickly. He prepared a few jokes in his head in case they ignored him. Damn his friends ruin E V E R Y T H I N G. They mumbled their sorrys and hellos, as Simon dug in his locker. Abby casually tried to fix her hair, reapply her lip gloss and checked reflection on her phone screen. Simon kept the if you make a baby on my locker, you gotta name them after me comment to himself but another sly comment slipped out.

“They don’t call me walking birth control for nothing..” Simon scoffed and opened in his locker.

“No one calls you that…” Nick said, completely confused by the joke.

“No, but they should” Simon said closing his locker.

He waved goodbye to them, to start his trek to English.

I wonder how many straight people I’ll see boning today.

Being the only (openly) gay kid at Creekwood wasn’t too bad. They were accepting, as accepting a small town in Georgia could be. He no longer had to endure awkward conversations asking him when he was getting a girlfriend.

He wasn’t sure if more pressure was coming from his peers or his parents. They have been dropped hints for some time. Simon pretended to ignore their efforts….well he ignored them until he couldn’t. He snapped one day, he was sitting at dinner with his family and it slipped out.

His dad made a stupid heterosexual joke over dinner, instead of fake laugh and nodding along. He just said it.

“I’m gay”

His dad choked on the jasmine rice his sister Nora made. He cleared his throat, drank some water and dinner continued. Well dinner continued AFTER an insanely awkward conversation.

A few awkward conversations later...he was out to everyone he knew. His friends did a decent job of spreading the word. Every time a girl would approach the lunch table to ask out Simon, someone at their lunch would say “He’s gay”

It was kind of inside joke with his lunch table. The first few times Simon said it rather awkwardly “yeah I’m gay sorry” . After a while Leah took over, her deadpan scared a few girls, they would turn to Simon to confirm and he would nod. Everyone has their own version of delivering the news to these oblivious girls.

Abby took the nice girl route, she called the random girls sweetie and honey and breaking the news gently.

Garrett used his class clown persona to mess with these girls. “Excuse me, are you dude?” followed by “then Spier isn’t interested”

Nick went the borderline-asshole route, “Do you have a concussion? Simon has been out for like EVER”

Even Shy Bram Greenfeld got in on the joke, “uh you do know he’s gay right?”

Simon wasn’t sure why it was so funny, maybe because Bram rarely spoke or just how nicely he told that girl that Simon was not straight. The lunch retired the inside joke because Bram just fucking nailed it.

Besides, being completely and utterly repulsed by the constant PDA, Simon is jealous of them. He wants to see his boyfriend after class and press him up against locker and make out until the warning bell interrupted them. Simon would settle for a boyfriend that would hold his hand around school. He would settle for a boyfriend.

Simon decided that being of jealous of the straight couples wasn’t going to get him a boyfriend. He resorted to (badly) flirting with guys who didn’t have a girlfriends. Only three boys in his junior class were single.

Bram Greenfeld

Cal Price

Martin Addison (yeah...hell no...Not even it someone paid him)

He started with Cal they were in drama club together. Come on he HAD to be gay, he was in drama club and he had blond highlights. Simon awkwardly approached him after rehearsals one day.

“I was gonna hit up Waffle House tonight, you want in?” Simon managed to not stumble on any of his words.

“That sounds awesome...but not tonight man Taylor asked me to run lines with his at her house” He finished off his sentence with a wink.

Ew ew ew ewwwwww

He just totally asked a straight guy on a date.

Ughhhhhh

Simon cringed, “It’s cool man, have fun. Taylor is a nice girl” Should he wink back? He didn’t…

Bram Greenfeld…..Ughhhh he’s cuteeee

Simon almost crossed him off the list. He played soccer, in Simon’s mind all athletes were straight and went on dates with cheerleaders.

Either Bram is really subtle with his PDA or he’s gay……

How was he supposed to ask this dude out if they haven’t spoken to each other without their mutual friends around.

FUCK

It’s all about timing….Simon didn’t know if it was flu season or the fact that Creekwood had a mini mono outbreak. He found himself alone with Bram at their lunch table.

“Oh hey, no mono for soccer star Bram”

“Nah” he replied simply….damn Simon is really gonna have to egg him on to get some dirt on his kid.

“Not kissing anyone? What I thought all the soccer guys were required to have girlfriends.” Simon is now teasing him….not integrating him..I mean his tone was joking right?...Does it sound his integrating him?

Bram laughs. “ No no….A girlfriend does not come with the uniform…”

“I mean I really don’t want a girlfriend” shrugging...oh man he’s so cute.

“So what you gay or something?” Yes, Simon did just blantily asked that boy if he was gay...way to be subtle Spier…

Simon realized he waited quite a while to apologize to this poor kid. He was too busy mentally kicking himself.

Okay more than a minute has passed, and there was no sputtering denials, no strong exclamations about how straight he is. Just silence….and mega blushing.

“OH MY GOD” Simon said a little to loud. Bram sunk lower in his seat. He looked around the cafeteria, like someone was going to bust him for being gay.

He looked down to collect his thoughts and have a possible heart to heart with Bram. Everyone deserves a gay is okay talk. Simon went to look into those insanely pretty brown eyes and he wasn’t there.

Bram speed walking out of cafeteria, dumping his lunch in the bin...looking back at Simon. His eyes pleading him not chase after him. He didn’t of course...he tortured that boy enough.

The next time he saw Bram was at Garrett’s party….well get together. It was a “we got over mono” party.

And by we… they mean Leah, Garrett, Nick and Abby….

This get together started with Garrett wanted to throw a massive party that the whole school was invited to celebrate his brush with death, surviving mono. Leah instantly vetoed the idea, suggested a regular hangout session with alcohol.

Simon was forced to go because it was a “friends thing” not a “couples thing”. And Bram was going so he wouldn’t be the 5th wheel. Whatever I’ll go for the booze.

Simon had to remind himself that he was going for the booze, not that he hasn’t seen Bram in few days. Stupid Winter Break.

A game of Never Have I Ever started, the gang filled their red solo cups with the rest of the wine, supplied unknowingly by Garrett’s mom.

“Never have I ever got shit-faced on wine” Abby stated very seriously.

Garrett chugged his wine then slurred “I RESENT THAT SUSO” Leah jokingly held him back.

“WINE IS DOPE” Garrett said stumbling to find the next bottle.

“Wow Leah, you’re dating a Wine Mom, how does it feel?” Abby said in between laughs.

“Greenfeld you’re up” Garrett egged him on…”give us something good”

“Never have I ever had mono...I don't fucking kno-”

“THATS COLD GREENFELD, THAT’S COLD” Nick grabbing his chest pretending to hurt.

Followed by a chorus of boos, Simon and Bram looked as all their friends drank. They locked eyes with knowing looking. Bram cracked a smile.

“BOOOOOO WHO INVITED THE VIRGIN”

“YOU DID GARRETT”

“Oh right...but seriously B you need to get laid man, you into anybody….a girl? A boy? At this point I don’t give a shit...you just need to laid to chill the fuck out”

Garrett drunken stupor was followed by silence. Nick broke the silence “OKAY WHO’S NEXT?”

“I’LL GO! NEVER HAVE I EVER SUCKED A DICK”

Simon gripped his cup tighter, his lifeline, the only thing keeping him afloat. He wanted to drink nonchalantly to ease the tension but then it would imply that he has sucked someone’s dick...which he hasn’t...and lying about that would only lead to more questions. Simon looked over at Bram he looked just as uncomfortable as Simon.

“GARRETTTT STOP.”

“Okay okay okay...but you did drink babe?…” Leah and Abby rolled their eyes and cheers their cups, taking a small sip.

“Spier, I thought you were gay….no D yet...you should help him out with Br-”

Garrett was physically being pulled out of the room by Leah.

The damage has been done, Bram was looking down at his shoes. It made Simon’s heart sink, he wanted to go over to him and cheer him up. He didn’t know exactly how he would cheer up Bram they hardly knew each other.

They continued without Garrett...Nick, Leah and Abby went again.

“Oh shit sorry Si we skipped you..go ahead buddy”

“Never have I ever been outed by my drunk best friend” Simon contained his laughter, it was his attempt to lighten the mood. Bram smiled at him, a little twinkle in his eyes.

Bram chugged his drink very dramatically, and proceed to laugh and giggle.

Instead of waiting for the prying questions he said, “That’s right motherfuckers...I’m gay”

Nick, Abby, and Leah’s jaw’s were on the floor.

Simon was laughing his ass off...Mentally cheering on Bram.

Go Greenfeld go Greenfeld

The wine ran out a little after Bram’s coming out...they toasted to “Bram’s gay ass”

Leah and Garrett went up to his room, Leah practically dragging him, being a little less than loving and caring because of the stuff he said to Simon and Bram. Leah was protective of her friends, Garrett wouldn’t hear the end of this for a while.

Abby and Nick went up to the guest room. Nick and Abby were the happy, semi-flirty drunks...giggling and booping each others noses while they struggled up the stairs.

“You kids stay safe! Use protection! Love you!” Simon called up to them, starting his own giggle fit, Bram joined him.

“You sound like my mom,” Bram said in between giggles.

“How so?” Simon looked at him curiously.

“When I came out to my mom, she gave me the whole ‘use protection’ speech, that put all other sex talks to shame” Bram said blushing furiously.

“Anyways she convinced I was fucking the whole soccer team...actually I think she still thinks I am”

“OH! Other time I told her I was staying Garrett’s house to study, she gave me CONDOMS and lube...after insisting Garrett was in fact VERY straight...she still made me bring them”

Simon knew this story was personal and quite embarrassing, he wasn’t sure if Bram was actually drunk bambling or just using faking it to tell Simon but himself without judgement.

After exchanging embarrassing and silly stories, they decided that sleep with the best option.

Bram and Simon were left in the living room with pull-out couch and busted recliner. Simon volunteered to sleep on the recliner...before he knew it was broken and did not actually recline.

“There’s room for two you know…” Bram said inviting Simon to join him. Patting the empty spot next him. Before Simon knew it, he was crawling into bed with Bram. A half-naked Bram Greenfeld.

Whew don’t think about that...Yeah I don’t think that you and Bram are half-naked laying on a futon. Geez, why did boys have to sleep half-naked, why just boxers? And if you were shy (like me) you wore tee shirt and boxers. If you were as confident as Bram Greenfeld, you wore boxers and nothing more….OKAY ENOUGH THINKING ABOUT WHAT BRAM IS WEARING OR HIS LACK OF CLOTHING.

Simon noticed Bram was staring at him, yeah he probably because he looked like psycho having argument with himself.

Simon looked into his eyes, and damn he just about died right there. Cause of death: drowning in Bram Greenfeld’s eyes...like chocolate pools, he wanted to drowned, he wanted to devour….He wanted Bram to be his. Be mine...Simon wasn’t sure but those eyes looked like he was inviting him in, come for a swim, make me yours.

Simon broke the silence, “Can I kiss you?” Simon whispered...he’s not even sure Bram heard him.

“Absolutely not” Bram whispered with a smile on his face. A pure, genuine smile. Jesus Bram is one cruel motherfucker...he doesn’t look sorry about reject him...

Simon was going to turn to face the other way, he thought he could cry right there. A arm grabbed for him, stopping him from turning all the way around. Bram stopped him. “I was kidding” Bram gently grabbed his cheek and kissed him. He was kissing him, like he fucking meant it.

“Good night, Simon”

Simon didn’t sleep good that night, a little worried about what would happen in morning. He thought about Bram being his boyfriend, Bram kissing him. That’s the only thing on his mind, Bram Greenfeld will be on his mind for quite while.

#love simon #spierfeld #simon vs the homo sapiens agenda #simon vs #simon spier #bram greenfeld #abby suso #garrett laughlin #leah burke #and yes theres a part 2!#let me know if like it!#send me prompts and shit!

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lizzy-frizzle · 3 years ago

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A not-so-comprehensive list:

- she cheated on my dad when we were living in new Mexico, but convinced him to not divorce her just so she could convince him to move to New Jersey so she could have better child support laws and have access to her lawyer friend and cop buddies (relevant later)

- she cheated on my dad in New Jersey and then divorced him, bonus points here for her blaming him for her cheating on him (she recieved $2400 in child support per month from here on)

- spent child support money on several mink coats, diamond jewelry (with platinum bands where possible)

- left me home alone for hours with my sister (shes a year older than me), and when she would come home piss drunk she'd hit me if I complained about being hungry

- she married a guy just so they could organize a weird fucked up tax situation where she claims most things as business expenses and also claims she makes $0 per year (she made $400k per year when I moved out in 2013)

- she bought an in ground pool, along with pouring concrete and buying a privacy fence, as well as a new car, and somehow wrote most of it off?

- despite receiving thousands of dollars in child support, I only had one pair of jeans at a time and a handful of shirts. I also lived off microwave meals most of my life.

- I was only allowed to get non-food items for holidays: christmas I had a $100 limit, birthday was a $50 limit, Easter was a $20 limit (some birthdays I didnt get anything cause I was a "bad" son)

- she sent my sister with a 25 page packet on why I was a bastard son, while I was working at summer camp, hand delivered to the gate attendant, which made it's way to me during dinner with my campers, causing me to sob in front of my kids. This was the day before I had to go into court and testify that I wanted to be emancipated so my dad could stop paying her child support (I was living with my dad, yes New Jersey child support laws are(were?) That fucked up)

- she also convinced a guy to kill himself (they were dating at the time and he had trauma, she pushed him over the edge, he was actually a really nice guy and one of the closer things I had to a dad figure)

- (petty but...) whenever I did get a new handheld (gameboy color/advance/ds/etc.) She would sell the old one + the games and keep the money. She did this with consoles too but I didnt have that many consoles

- when she and my dad divorced she kept his dog, only to give the dog away a year later to a random family (he had the dog since before they met)

- when my sister and I were visiting my dad, she got rid of my sisters cat

- whenever my grandmother (dads side) called child protective people (difus? Or something?) On her, she would hide and make us hide in the basement to pretend we weren't home

- also just...so much child abuse. Hold shit. I was covered in bruises literally all the time. School/cops wouldnt do anything cause she was friends with too many powerful people

- I cannot stress the child abuse enough. She gaslighted me so much, and my sister. I feel bad that my sister gave in to it, but I couldnt save her

- she said that me asking to see a therapist was attention seeking and that I just needed to man up and get over it

- she laughed and mocked any career I expressed interest in. It didnt matter what it was. Teacher, therapist, quantum physicist, architect, video game level designer. Nothing was good enough.

- said that all men should be kept in an underground facility similar to how cattle is kept, and only used for breeding purposes (also spouted the usual "all men are liars" "all men are trash" "men deserve to die" stuff)

- made gagging noises whenever gay people kissed on screen

- frequently used slurs and was super racist

- would beat me if the house wasnt clean when she got home

- would beat me if I was too loud

- would beat me if I walked in front of the tv

- I think she just liked beating me tbh

- she insists she never did anything wrong.

me: *vents about horrible shit my mom did for literally 2 hours*

My girlfriend: "its 1:30am but how much does it cost to order a hit on someone?"

#child abuse #child neglect #gaslighting #lizzy decides to vent her childhood trauma to 1300 followers #feel free to ignore #or send asks about how much you hate her #im not like...feeling any particular way right now #its just cathartic to vent sometimes #likes will be interpreted as support/hugs/etc

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iamthestrangerinmoscow · 7 years ago

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1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 12, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21, 22, 24, 26, 27, 29 Sorry I am curious (answer at your own volition)

Lol it’s okay, it’s not like I have anything better to do right now (tired beyond words…)

1. what is your sexuality?

I’m bisexual. I chose the label bisexual over pansexual because I don’t feel like I’m “gender blind” - I’m attracted to different things for different genders (tbh I also chose it because of the pun making opportunities).

2. what do gender do you identify as?

Eh it’s kinda complicated. I think “male-aligned genderqueer” describes me best, but I actually wouldn’t object to being called a genderqueer man (or a genderqueer FTM). It’s hard for me to define.

One version is that I’m really nonbinary and male/man is how I can describe where I see myself in society and how I know my body is supposed to be like. Another version is that I’m partially male and partially genderqueer. I don’t know and I don’t really want to label it beyond “male-aligned genderqueer”.

3. how long have you been aware of your sexuality/gender?

With sexuality, I started using “bisexual” for myself at the age of 15, but I’m pretty sure I already experienced sexual attraction at 13 and if I learned that word back then, I could have started using it then. I know I’ve had crushes on boys and girls before puberty, and I was consistently attracted to both men and women from puberty. So it wasn’t hard to figure out.

With gender, kinda more complicated. In childhood, there were signs™. During puberty, I’ve started feeling dysphoria, but I didn’t know such thing existed so I couldn’t know what it meant. I’ve learned that transmasculine people existed at the age of 16 (wow right?? representation matters) and started questioning gender pretty soon after that. I think I started identifying as nonbinary when I was 17, but I don’t remember very well.

4. do you have any preferences?

Yeah, but they aren’t strong. I’m more attracted to women and nonbinary/gender ambiguous people sexually, and more attracted to men romantically. I’d say it’s about a 40%/60% split for both.

8. how do you feel about lgbtq roles in media?

I’m pretty chill, but I do think representation is very important. The only reason I found out bisexuality existed is through House MD. If I saw a trans man on TV as a 13-14 year old, maybe I’d figure it out sooner. And I won’t even talk about how important it is for both LGBT+ people (validation and support) and others (visibility and education).

12. what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens?

Don’t give up. I know you are tired of hearing “it gets better” - I was tired too. It made me so so angry. However, as hard as it is, sometimes the only thing you can do is wait. Build strength, support yourself with kind, accepting people, and don’t lose hope. No matter how bad it seems, it won’t last forever.

Being questioning is hard. Being in the closet is hard. Coming out is hard. Dealing with queerphobic people is hard. Living in the world today as a LGBT+ person is hard. But you are strong enough to survive every single thing because guess what? Every horrible thing, every heartbreak, every bad day so far… you have survived it all. You will survive *this* too.

14. how do you feel about the term “coming out” ?

Considering it’s short for “coming out of the closet”, I think it’s pretty accurate. Closets can be dark, lonely places, but they are also safe. If you know you won’t be in danger, coming out might be great - but if you have to stay in that closer for some time, it’s okay too. So yeah, I think the term is pretty good.

16. any tips on coming out?

Don’t have expectations, I guess? Really though, being prepared for acceptance and not getting it is horrible. Preparing yourself for hate and conflict is horrible too. So just don’t have expectations. Go into it thinking “I know I will be physically safe [because you should be! don’t come out if you aren’t] and I will deal with anything else as it occurs”.

Also don’t rush it, please. You will know when you are ready. Coming out when you aren’t ready can be so hard.

17. what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media?

LGBT+ characters getting killed at disproportionate rates is the biggest one. Horrendously inaccurate representation is the close second.

18. what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media?

LGBT+ characters being accepted and supported by friends, family and other random characters. It makes me cry happy tears. Also smashing those damn stereotypes. Also gay jokes.

19. what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school?

I won’t talk about school cause yeah… bad memories.

My uni seems to be pretty liberal though. I haven’t heard many opinions, but I was pleasantly surprised at anthropology. The anthro prof talking about gender, sexuality, monogamy and so on was very investing, and validating. And I haven’t heard a single homophobic/transphobic thing from any other professor. So yeah, mostly it’s great.

21. what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender?

Lol for the sake of simplicity let’s say men are the same gender for me and women are the opposite gender. For men, genuine cruelty, aggression, etc - I can’t, it just scares the shit out of me. For women, being passive and complacent - idk, it just makes me sad. I guess for both, it’s the extreme performance of traditional gender roles…

22. what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender?

For men, not being afraid to be emotional/vulnerable/human (not to the point of being passive though, don’t like that in anyone…) and also sarcasm/dark sense of humor (idk why I don’t like that in girls…). For women, being sassy or just funny, and also being badass (um guess who has a crush on Buffy the Vampire Slayer). And for anyone: being passionate about something, doesn’t matter what.

24. how do you feel about the term “queer” ?

You can fight me on this but I think it’s a great term. Maybe cis gay men and cis lesbians don’t need it, but for pretty much anyone else in LGBT+, it can be so useful. Like, do you expect me to explain to everyone that I’m a bisexual transgender male-aligned nonbinary person? Cause it’s much easier to say “I’m queer”. I understand that it used to be a slur, however it’s not the same as some other slurs and has been reclaimed. So I’m pro using it.

26. favorite lgbtq actor/actress?

Kristen Stewart and Stephen Fry, if I can only choose two.

27. any tips for heterosexual and/or cisgender people on how to handle lgbtq events/news?

Mmmm… be respectful, I guess? You can totally take part in events and discussions, just don’t talk over LGBT+ people and remember that their voices are more important in those cases.

29. how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender?

I don’t mind it. There aren’t many places where LGBT+ people can feel relatively safe in a community of people who share their experiences, so I’m all here for taking part in discussions and sharing my thoughts.

#thanks for asking!#ask #anonymous

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tsuki-nii · 8 years ago

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‘Trap’ Discourse and anime

I've seen the fights over Trap being derogatory before and I'm here to give you some different viewpoints on it. It's a doozy, get popcorn TL;DR at the bottom.

Trap can be used offensively or non offensively in various situations IRL. People saying women with too much makeup are a trap, that sexy bystander at the bar is a trap, star wars jokes; hell a person with a bunch of puppies is a trap. Basically anything that's "not what it seems" can be a trap; so yes, any lgbt/queer person can fall into this, but it's not exclusive to them.

Here's how trap is being used in it's anime context. It's similar to the otokonoko(which literally means boy in japanese but it's used in a trap way idk) tag one might find. Males dressing as females. Reverse traps being Females dressing as males. If someone related the term to real life, it would be Transvestite or cross dresser; and even cross-play falls under the category along with Drag Queens/Kings. Virtually all the time this is used in anime, it's a male, who identifies as a male, but dresses like the stereotypical female. Vice Versa for Female traps. Transgender characters and people do not fall into this category. That is the genderbender category. Depending on the site, genderbender includes traps. It's all a mix of random tag names to find shit easier.

Remember, these characters in the stories, yaoi or not (the teacher from utapri is a trap), are not looking to become a different sex or gender. They're just changing clothing. The only exception to this that I've seen is Hourou Musuko (wandering son) that actually focuses on transgender aspects. Unfortunately there isn't a widely used tag for that genre yet. I wish there was, because then there'd be an easier way to find transgender focused fiction or anime

I've had friends from farther up California (i'm socal) tell me that in a certain area, assholes use trap as a slur to many lgbt, transgender or not. This isn't a big thing down here in san diego, in the town I live in in the mountains, or in Denver where I've been multiple times and my family resides. It's rarely used outside the context of anime then aimed specifically at queer people. But there will always be exceptions due to bigoted assholes using whatever they can think of to put someone down. A great way to stop that from happening IRL is to own it. Some one says you're a trap maliciously? Tell them you look damn fine, you're comfortable with yourself and they can go eat shit. My college did that and now queer is not a slur. It's an all inclusive term for people on campus that fall into lgbt categories.I've used it off campus with family and friends with no problems too. I'm not saying that it's a sure-fire or always feasible solution; but it's better than fighting friends in your community about something not intended, or used to offend you.

Trap being a slur for transgender people is pretty recent too. It's always been in the western anime comunity since way back. It was never meant to be derogitory, was never a prominent slur and there's never been a problem with it until now.

You can't dictate an entire community's sorting medium because you take offense to it. I don't take offense to the Japanese 'Yankee', just because I'm an american; and we're technically historical yankees. Same word, completely different contexts and communal origins. Same thing for stereotypes. They can be comedic or bigoted; depends on the situation and fucking CONTEXT.

"lol Italians love wine" vs. "They're italian so they should like wine right?" vs. "Italians are fucking Drunkards!"

See the difference in context???1st is a joke, 2nd might be slightly ignorant, 3rd is straight up hate.

Gay started out as a term for happiness and merry making, and then people started using it as a slur toward "gay" people. They went from homosexuals to "gays". YEARS later, it's now in a sense, just a term for sorting people into queer categories. No malevolent nature to it, unless someone is blatantly using it to hate on you. But no one's going to say gay is offensive now. No one's going to say anything unless it's used in the context of a slur. I'm not going to go smack everyone that utters the word just because that dick Jim from down the street and my small town hates gays and it offends me. I'm not going to hit my grandparents either, because they're old and they still use it in the happy sense. I AM going to smack Jim if he says 'gay' to me. In that instance, in the context of Jim being a bigot directing hate towards me, 'gay' becomes a slur; and I will take offense.and smack him

Not taking offense to, and using Trap as an anime term doesn't discredit anyone IRL. It doesn't invalidate anyone/anygender/anysex/anyorientation digitally or in real life. What does invalidate, and hurt is shitting on someone for using something that has been there since the beginning and never had a bad rep until YOU decided it was the worst thing in the world. All because one asshole called you and you're friends a "Trap" somewhere. Even though nothing changed in the anime community with regards to loving or hating traps. You came in here and attacked everyone for some hate that doesn't apply here.

No one's victim blaming you all either. The one's experiencing this trap slur rise are victims yes. However, everyone being screamed at here, are now victims of that irrationality and anger from outside, when they've done nothing wrong. They didn't call you trap, they didn't sneer at you, they didn't hurt you. They've kept to themselves online, enjoying, appreciating, loving something you claim they're destroying. They never spread hate, ignorance, or resentment, you did by bringing your reality into a non existant plane.

There are safe spaces online and IRL. But you cannot censor the internet, you cannot censor art, and you CANNOT CENSOR CREATIVITY. Plus don't kinkshame, rood.

If you TL;DR'ed, then here's the key points:

Trap is meant for transvestites in anime. It is a western term for an anime genre. It is almost exclusively for transvestites. Anything else would likely fall into the genderbender category. Take your pick.

It's been used positively for said genre all this time with the exception of those that aren't into that specific genre.

You think trap is rude? Talking about 'trans' as an all encompassing group but glossing over or even excluding transvestites is worse.

If you're trans-male, trans-female, or agender/other non-binary trap barely even applies to you. A trans-male, dressing as a male isn't a trap, it's normal. They're male, they wear male clothing. Same goes for anyone. I think anyone should where anything they want, but that's just me

Unless you exist inside of that anime/manga, you cannot be a trap or any of those tags. Doesn't matter what you are at this point, you're not a fictional character. You're a living, breathing human being who isn't bound by words.

You're taking a slur from an entirely different community, throwing it at the other community and then blaming them for it when they're peaceful and accepting of it.You can't give a cartoon shit, they don't exist. That's like having a Japanese person come to America to give me shit for being mixed race. They're pressure on mixed natives doesn't apply to me. I'm in a different country, in a different community where it's fine; we embrace diversity here.

A similar example is the use of 'nigger.' In the African American community, it can be used as a friendly term. Like calling your best friend a bitch in greeting/or whatever. Harsh word, but not malicious in intent or context. Saying it outside the community is usually racist, because it's used harshly, with the intention of insulting. In that sense the african american community is taking back the slur and removing it's power.

It's not right to yell at them for using nigger in their own community; thus, the same goes for any community, like the anime community.

In the end, trap is just another term to help sort through japanese stories and art. The same as horror, cat, slice of life, shounen, or sparkly unicorn farts. Whatever tags one can pull out their ass can apply to anime, but it'll never be intended for real life people.

Fiction can never harm you unless you can't seperate it from reality and act on it, or you have a mental disorder. A story with triggers can't physically follow you around or force you to experience it. A word can't jump out and stab your eyball or anything. It's all there for entertainment, imagination, relaxation, or controlled exploration. TRAP CAN NOT DEPRICATE TRANSGENDER PEOPLE BECAUSE IT'S NOT TALKING ABOUT THEM AND IT'S ABOUT CHARACTERS THAT ARE NOT REAL PEOPLE.

MOSt IMPORTANTLY NONE OF THESE ANIME TERMS APPLY OR SHOULD APPLY TO ACTUAL PEOPLE. JUST TO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. THEY CANNOT HURT YOU, OR STOP YOU FROM BEING YOU

You can tag me as ass, nasty hetero, pansexual alien or whatever the fuck, but it's not going to change my life. It's just words I'll see for 2 seconds and then forget when I'm eating my weeb kibble and enjoying my anime traps with their cute clothing. I LOVE MY CUTE FICTION BABIES and I love my real life trans friends. FUCKING SUE ME

Before any of you try to shit on me and say I don't know what I'm talking about:

I went through training to be a queer ally. TWICE. and guess what? bigger problems lie with queers segregating other queers, as opposed to the rainbow of hateful words we get.

My close family friend is a gay man who's a Professional Drag Queen and is fabulously gorgeous. He takes no offense to trap.

My sibling is currently sorting out zir gender identity, and as of right now is a blossoming trans-male or gender fluid, fucking ANGEL. Loves anime, no offense taken to trap.

I regularly cosplay, play games as, and assume a fictional male persona online. I've dressed as a "guy" on may occasions. I take no offence to the word trap.

Yeah sometimes trap is being used in a bad way, but once again, it exists in two different contexts. Whatever shit people say out in the real world has no value here in anime fun land. If you give someone shit for their tastes in fiction, you might as well throw them in a box and say "you can't be happy with you're cartoon/anime/book because it offends me IRL"

You hating me for liking anime Traps is the same as someone hating you IRL for being a different "trap". I'm not disrespecting you, but you're disrespecting me for some attack on you I never made; just because the same word was used differently.

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lakeeffektkid · 8 years ago

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Last Goodbye is Never What We’re Here For (Part 1)

Title: Last Goodbye is Never What We’re Here For

Rating: Mature. This story can be very descriptive about sensitive subjects. Viewer discretion is advised.

Warnings: language, self-harm, homophobic slurs, hint at bulimia.

Notes: After a couple weeks, I’m proud this is finally out. I welcome constructive criticism, and any tips for improving writing angsty scenes.

Chapter 1: Must’ve Been a Bitch of a Day

Like he did on every Monday morning, Matt Webb stood in front of the bathroom mirror trying to fix the mess of brown that was his hair. Maybe part it on the left, he thought to himself. Nope. If that was even possible, it looked worse than normal.

“Matt!” his sister, Amanda, yelled. “Are you done yet? I swear, you take longer than I do to get ready.” Was this going to happen every day this year, now that they were both in high school? He hoped not.

He sighed, then just messed up his hair again; another day, another terrible hair moment. It’s not like it mattered; his friends at school wouldn’t know the difference. Then again, these were the same friends that made bullshit remarks about how Matt couldn’t just kiss someone without knowing them. Not just the good old “hi, how are you,“ or "what’s your favourite colour?” small talk. He had to have a connection. They just didn’t get it.

At least their reactions weren’t as odd as his parents were,* he thought. *My friends may be weirded out, but at least they make an effort. Maybe he should spend some more time with his parents, they gave him life—

"Matt! Hurry up!“ his sister’s voice rang out, distracting him from his thoughts.

“Sure,” he replied, not really listening. Maybe she would go away. His hair was good enough. Just like everything else. It didn’t matter, like most things.

He had a tendency to dig himself a pit in his mind; to get so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he couldn’t get out. It was a bad habit, one his mother called a waste of time. The more thinking he did, the less he talked. The less he talked, the less his parents wanted to talk to him. “Good enough,” he thought to himself.

Matt unlocked the door, walked outside into his yard, and waited for Josh to walk by. Josh, with the shaggy black hair that fell into his perfect blue eyes just right. It’s not that he liked Josh in a more than best friends manner. He just thought that the older boy was slightly attractive. Okay, maybe he did; it wasn’t something Josh needed to know, however.

He twiddled his thumbs and got straight to thinking. It was better than nothing, after all. Josh was one of the few friends Matt had that accepted the younger boy for who he was, whereas his other friends just taunted him. Maybe it was the eyeliner Josh wore, or maybe it was the nail polish; for some reason, Matt had a feeling that Josh might like him back. Whatever the two of them were, he was sure the kids at school would find it weird as hell. He snapped himself out of his thoughts; he had to stay alert. If Josh made him late one more time…

A long five minutes and 30 noisy teenagers later, a tall human being sped past, dragging Matt along with him. "Hey,” the person said. Speak of the fucking devil.

"You really need to stop doing that, Josh. Someday, you’re going to break a limb.“ He could hear Josh slow to a walk beside him. A sigh fell from Matt’s mouth. "Long night?” he asked.

“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep no matter where I was. At some point, I just gave up and went back upstairs to get coffee. If I can’t sleep, I may as well get some shit done.“ Josh sighed. "I fell asleep in the kitchen at, like, five. Barely had time to eat breakfast.” Matt closed his eyes and stopped walking. Josh would’ve walked right past him, had Matt not grabbed his friend’s arm.

"Did you actually eat something?“ he said, trying to stop the blood from rushing to his face. “This is how you slipped up before."

Josh shrugged, avoiding Matt’s gaze. "I did eat something… Just not much.” Matt heard his friend’s stomach growl.

“That’s what you said last week,“ he muttered. "Keep going, we’re going to be late.” He couldn’t believe that Josh was skipping meals again; especially after landing himself in the hospital the year before because of it.

“I won’t fuck up again, dude. At least, not in that way; new year, new mistake.” The conversation continued for several minutes, but not without discomfort.

"Can…can we just not talk about this anymore?“ Matt said once the school came up in view.

Josh nodded solemnly and ran ahead, leaving the younger boy on his own. *Throw me to the wolves already, why don’t you?* he thought.

He pasted on a smile and headed to his locker, shoved his bags in and walked over to the glee club kids that were his “friends.”

"Hey guys.“ He waved awkwardly. Monday was always the hardest. The people were touchier and more mean.

"Hey Webb,” Ronnie replied, batting her eyelashes. He rolled his eyes, but kept his mouth shut. He hated when she did this, because no one can control who they like.

"Ronnie, let him go. You two don’t have a close enough emotional bond for him to even want to kiss you,“ Jason said, ignoring Matt’s presence. He hated it even more when an old friend of his, Jason, joined in.

"Yeah, let him go. I’m pretty sure he would rather screw around with what’s-his-name–” Delia said.

"Josh,“ Matt interjected. This is about as close to fighting back as it got for him. Don’t stir up more drama, just try and get rid of it.

"Yeah, him. I swear, he’s about as gay as you are,” she said.

Matt chuckled, knowing his “friends” would never get it. He pat Delia and Jason on the back, discouraging the taunting.

"Never gonna happen. He’s a friend anyway.“

Ronnie replied, "but that’s just what you’re into, isn’t it?” Maybe it was, but it’s not like he was going to say that.

The warning bell rang, sending Matt on his way to science; the one class he didn’t have with his “friends,” and spent with Josh instead.

"–and that’s when he…“ Josh said to a friend of his, trailing off once he saw Matt. "See you! Hey Matt…could you…?” Josh said.

Even though Matt wanted to skip class to figure out what’s been going on with Josh, he had to actually go to science for a change unless he planned to fail.

“Sorry, can’t. Goldberg is going to be pissed.”

Josh’s face fell, but Matt had to worry about himself for a change. As much as Josh tried, he had no attention span for anything but music. That usually led to him failing a class or two a year, hence why Matt and Josh were both in grade 9 science. He took his usual seat by the window, and looked outside. It was a sunny day, which was uncharacteristic for a Vancouver autumn. The bell rang. Matt glanced behind him, and Josh wasn’t there in his usual back row desk.

Sometimes, questions needed to be asked. He pulled out his little phone and typed a message with the buttons.

May 5, 2002 8:25 am

To Josh: Where the hell are you?

-Matt

A reply popped up a minute later, an envelope on the small screen opening and closing with “you have a new message” written in bold below.

May 5, 2002 8:26 am

I just needed a break. Sorry

-Josh

Mr. Goldberg was already glaring at him, so he shut his phone and put it in his desk. Not without sending a second message a few minutes later, however.

May 5, 2003 8:28 am

Be careful.

-Matt

When Josh needed a break, it meant one of two things: he was either in a bad mood and was smoking a cigarette outside or was in trouble and was locked in the nearest bathroom; neither was particularly healthy.

"Mr. Webb, if you could bear to listen for a moment: tell me what ‘mitochondria’ is? In detail, if you please,” the teacher boomed.

"It has something to do with energy, right?” Matt replied. “Not correct, Mr. Webb. Would you care to tell me where Mr. Ramsay is? It seems you two spend a lot of time together.”

Shit, this is bad, he thought. If I ask to be excused, he’s going to think I’m sneaking off. Sadly, this teacher wasn’t very fond of Matt. At least they agreed to disagree.

"I, um…I don’t know, sir,” he lied. “I h-haven’t had enough time to check."

"Could I have your cellular phone, then?” Mr. Goldberg said. Matt blushed and walked up to the teacher, giving his cellphone away. “You should be getting it back at the end of the day.”

"Yessir…“ Matt said, and staggered slowly back to his seat. He swore he could see a few people laughing out of the corners of his eyes.

The rest of science class went by slowly, making the hour feel like three. By the time class was over, Matt dragged himself into one of the many boys restrooms in the school. He searched through the stalls, and all he saw was the face of a disgruntled eleventh grader and the dick of some random angry dude.

After shedding the image of the past few minutes, Matt headed into another bathroom, the rarely used ones up in the French wing. If Josh wasn’t in there, Matt wouldn’t know where to look.

"Ramsay?” Matt called out. “Josh!” he yelled. “I know you’re in here, you’re not willing to walk that far just to skip class. Josh?”

All he could hear was his own steady breathing, and the click of a lock. He walked cautiously towards the stall, but didn’t open the door. Sounds of sniffling came from inside.

“In here,” Josh said meekly, his voice weak.

Matt followed the voice and pushed open the door. There Josh was, head buried in his knees.

Matt kneeled down next to his friend, rubbing slow circles on Josh’s back. He pretended that he couldn’t feel the bones of Josh’s spine through his shirt. This was rather worrisome, if honesty was allowed.

“Hey. I…I’m sorry about earlier,” Matt said.

“Are you alright?“

Josh shook, sobs tearing through him. He spoke, but the only word either boy could decipher was "fuck.” His trembling hand rested itself on Matt’s shoulder, needing someone to make his demons get the hell away. Matt tried not to see the scrapes on Josh’s knuckles; he didn’t know what they were from, yet they were frightening nonetheless.

Josh lifted his head up, looking Matt in the eye. A bruise flowered across his cheek, leaving his naturally pale skin a sickening shade of purple. “Don’t worry about me. You have your own problems. I’m fine–” his breath hitched. “N-nothing’s wrong.“

"Just breathe, Josh. You’re clearly not fine, but I’m not going to bug you about it.” Matt pulled Josh’s head into his lap, letting him cry. “Clearly, it’s been a bitch of a day,“ he muttered.

"No…fucking…shit!” Josh said in between breaths. Matt just wanted Josh to stop crying. It hurt him just to see Josh so vulnerable.

Matt brushed Josh’s hair out of his eyes, in another attempt to stop this from becoming a worse situation. Close up, Matt could see the dark circles under his friend’s eyes, having lost that spark of mischief that both excited and frightened him.

“Can you hear my breathing?” Josh nodded. “Try to mimic it, okay?“

"I…can…try. Easier…when you’re not…fucking hyperventilating…” Josh said, voice and body shaking with fear. Matt sighed, trying to keep the frustration from his voice.

“Please, Josh. For me…this isn’t easy for any of us. Think of how your parents–” The bell rang, signalling for the students to get to class. Neither boy moved.

“They don’t know about anything. The only thing they caught onto was the not-eating. Nothing else.” Josh paused. “They have no idea. Please, can we keep it that way. Please?”

"I’m not going to tell them, i-it’s not my place… You can stay over at my house tonight, see the new environment helps you sleep.” Since nothing else worked, he may as well try distraction.

“It probably won’t, but it’s better than nothing…” Josh said, sniffling. His hyperventilating had thankfully since stopped, but the tears continued to fall.

“Try it, for me. You only get this bad when you haven’t slept in a week.” Matt took a deep breath. “You’re scaring me, Josh.“

"Are you sure it’s not the raccoon face?” Josh said, referring to the eyeliner that had ran down his face mid-cry. The little smile that was placed on his face only made the moment weirder.

Matt chuckled. “Pretty damn sure.“

"Can I tell you what happened now?” Josh said, turning onto his back. The dark circles under his eyes were getting pretty bad, from what Matt could see. Whatever was going on with Josh, it certainly wasn’t very pleasant. “I think I’m ready.“

“Today, or ever?”

"One kind of bleeds into the other.” Josh just stared at the ceiling. “‘Excuse the pun…”

Josh walked into school on the first day, not feeling particularly happy, but not really feeling anything else either. He could feel the stares on his back, being the only guy in the vicinity who wore any makeup. Y'see, these looks wouldn’t have usually bothered him. In fact, he usually wouldn’t have minded the attention much, but this was a particularly self-conscious day for Josh. It was like they could tell what he did to himself this morning. It wasn’t like the throwing up made things any better; just a bit more bearable.

He walked to his locker, ignoring the jocks shoving him into the wall, and the laughs from the drama club kids. His throat was sore, but it hurt so frequently, he didn’t really feel it anymore. Like everything else, it was 'ignore, ignore, ignore’ just to get through the day. By this point, Matt would’ve been hanging out with his friends from choir, so Josh couldn’t go over there. It was a class he was in as well, but that particular crowd of people were never that nice to him. What could he say? Some people just didn’t like him.

Josh went to math, a class he had just barely passed last year. He didn’t turn much in, just the small amount of class work that was mandatory; it made sense that he was barely pulling a D-minus.

"Good to see you here, Mr. Ramsay,“ the teacher said, a fake smile etched on her ever-so-cruel looking face. He could feel her eyes carefully watching him, as if he would run out of the room that very second.

“Nice to see you, too, ma'am,” he said nervously.

Josh slowly walked to his desk, staring at the ground. It was like they could see the insignificant scrapes on his hand. He sat next to one of his friends, Brennan, and waited in silence for class to start.

"Are you okay?“ Brennan asked. Josh just shook his head and ignored his friend.

There were about a dozen other equally bored students in the room; all of them waiting for a horrible teacher to start her class. The elastic that Josh used on his wrists instead of a razor was starting to pinch. Oh fuck, it was annoying.

He snapped it against his wrist. Not too much, only five times. No matter how much he did it, it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t leave any scars.

Josh saw Brennan give a look of concern in the corner of his eye, mouthing the words, “Are you okay?”

"No,” Josh mouthed back. But had he really ever been okay?

By the time class had started five minutes later than it was supposed to, Josh was already engrossed in his own mind; a place dangerous to go into on a good day, but deadly on a bad one. Thoughts about his weight somehow got in there, making the already upset boy worse.

“Fat-ass”

“Cutting freak"

“Cock sucker"

“Emo whore"

Josh continued to snap the elastic against his wrist, which was resting under the desk. The voices in his head wouldn’t leave him alone; for a change, it was his own voice. Snap. What the hell was he thinking? Matt will just leave him, anyway. Just like everyone else. Snap. Nobody ever stayed long. They left, they always left. They would, just because it was easier. Snap. He could feel the little blade in his pocket. Maybe he could… No. He couldn’t. At least, not in class. The cuts from last time were healing up nicely, mostly just scars now. Maybe he could go to the bathroom after class. Use the one upstairs, in the French wing, that nobody ever used. He could make the pain physical, take the time to get out of his own head. It would be nice.

He had made it a month since cutting; the bad thing was, it was probably the longest he’s gone in a year. God, he could use a hit right now. The stress was really starting to get to him. Seriously, he needed a fucking break.

“Trying to forget again, freak? It won’t work. The feelings never die.”

He hated how he needed the heroin, but he just didn’t want to let it go. The bell rang in his ear, signalling that it was time to leave. Brennan opened his mouth again, but Josh ran off before he could find out what his friend was trying to say.

The bathroom was easy to find, it being the only one that Josh used. He figured he could stay here until class started, and sneak outside for a smoke once everyone was out of the halls.

Josh pulled the razor out of his pocket. He bit on his lip as he dragged it slowly across his hip, doing the damage he so needed. The crimson slowly trickled out of the cut. It stung, but made everything so much better. Hearing a mumble from the stall over, he shoved the razor back in pocket. With the click of a lock, he was out of the safety of the stall, and face to face with one of his greatest tormentors: Alex Peters.

Well, shit, *he thought to himself.

"It seems I’ve been caught…” Josh mumbled out loud.

“'Been caught’ doing what, freak?” Alex said, shoving Josh into the wall, putting pressure on the newly formed cut. Josh kept his mouth shut, afraid to speak. He could feel the stinging from his side, and the blood was seeping into his shirt.

Alex’s eyes dropped their gaze to Josh’s pocket, where the little bloody blade had been resting. It was sticking out; Josh didn’t push it far enough into his pocket. Anyone could’ve seen it, trained eye or not.

“Oh? Is the emo freak cutting himself in the bathroom again?” Josh shook with terror. They knew?

“N-no I…I’m not,“ he stuttered. He had been so careful trying to hide the blood, even cleaning the cuts properly. It hurt like a bitch, but if it meant not going to the hospital, he’d do it.

To make matters worse, another student had walked in: a friend of Matt’s. Josh didn’t know the guy’s name– all he knew was that it ended in ’-ason,’ or something like that. Josh saw the confused guy standing against the wall. It wasn’t like he was going to butt in; that would be a death sentence.

"Get out, Moriarty!” Alex grunted. “Can’t you see that I’m trying to get this little fag to talk?” Alex said, kneeing Josh in the stomach.

Josh squirmed, trying not to cry out; he didn’t need anyone else to know what the hell was going on in his head. “Leave me alone…” he mumbled under his breath. Jason ran out as quickly as he ran in after hearing the whimpering.

“What did you say, you little freak?!” Alex growled. He grabbed Josh’s hair and yanked on it, creating a feeling of pain in the back of his skull. “Tell me!“

"L-leave me the fuck alone, man…” Josh said, raising his voice ever so slightly. Alex yanked his head back farther, and slammed it against the wall.

All Josh could do with the pain rippling through him was crumple to the ground. Alex left the bathroom, leaving the androgynous looking boy on the floor. He rested there in a heap, only moving to purposely empty his stomach out in a bathroom stall half an hour later. Nothing Josh did was meant to be a mistake; the throwing up just happened, but by next week, it would’ve become an addiction.

“What can I say, Matt?” Josh said, his head still resting in his best friend’s lap. “I’m a mess.” What could Josh have done to deserve this? He was the most honest person Matt had met. His blue eyes bore into your soul, leaving nothing in their path unseen; lips a little chapped, but the most kissable they possibly could’ve been. Matt wanted to, but it would’ve been so stupid. Josh was just a friend, and a kiss between the two of them would screw something up.

“Yeah, you are a mess, Ramsay. You’re my mess.” Matt chuckled, brushing Josh’s hair out of his eyes. He could feel the butterflies wanting to burst from free his stomach. Josh was so, so beautiful, but he hated himself more than other people hated him. How could he not see it?

“But seriously, are you okay?“

"Y-yeah, I’m fucking terrific. That’s what getting beat up twice in one week earns, right?” Twice?

Matt chuckled before resuming his previous serious persona. "Right. Look, we need to talk about this. Why do you let this happen to yourself? Why don’t you fight it?”

“If we’re going to talk about this, I want to be able to look you in the eye…” Josh said before sitting up. “I’m only going to be able to say this once.” Matt nodded, letting Josh keep talking. “You said I could stay over tonight? I think I’m going to take you up on that offer, since spilling my guts out here would not be the best idea. All I can say is that, after awhile, I just started to deserve it. My head is a fucked up place and everyone knows it; they just don’t know why. They don’t want to know, Matt.” He sighed. “It would give them another reason to hate me.“

The bell rang, and they shared a glance before leaving. Without another word, Matt was off to his lunch break, and Josh was off to do god know what.

#marianas trench #josh ramsay #matt webb #fanfic #rating: mature

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