#But more like we gotta put up with each other because of our goals. i respect you but i will not always agree or obey you

[lazlolullaby]

Why not have Terry's backstory play out??? Kate was married, had Terry, then divorced Warren Mcginnis. Warren remarried to Mary and they were all set up to have Matt...then street violence happened, mirroring the infamous Wayne shooting.

(Bruce was "wandering the Earth" at the time. Kate feels like it's her job now to help Terry as much as she can.)

(lots under cut. seriously. lots.)

...but you know. This family is Extra. And Terry gets involved with street gangs. He calms down eventually and the timeframe overlaps enough for him to get in Juvie as well as a glimpse of Batman and decides "yeah. I'm out."

(on an unrelated note, his 2nd cousin Bruce is nice. Awkward, but nice.)

Terry still keeps his ear to the ground. He Knows that he's unimaginably lucky that his Mom Kate is rich, that he just got a slap on the wrist in the grand scheme of things but...all those other kids he was running around with...they have it worse.

So if he bothers Kate and Bruce to set up charities, research ways to prevent crime and homelessness safely, checks up on foster homes, and goes out every so often with a bag of waters and food it's his business. (He could have been a great older brother...if he had that chance.)

By the time he's 16 he's got himself a following of street kids, (Jason, Steph, Cass, Tim, etc.) a decent information network, several dirty cops out to get him, a handful of offers to join some Crime Families, a weird friendly enemy relationship with a "Matches Malone", and a Bat-shaped shadow.

(important note: this is the 90s. Pre cellphones and high tech trackers. Old school, as Alfred would say)

And THIS is where we involve a 10 year old Duke Thomas!!!

I mean, Batman has a "no meta" rule and it just immediately clashes with Duke's powers and family ties. The drama is tasty.

So Terry spots Duke and works with him to find his parents in the sewer system. Then Batman wrangles Duke's parents and shows an interest in taking care of Duke, feeling guilty that the Joker caused their insanity. And Terry takes Duke home to Kate, trying to make her foster/adopt him since Batman can't be a good parent.

Bruce fosters Duke instead. Literally a month passes and Batman has a new superpowered sidekick, the Lark.

Terry comes over to babysit Duke. Terry finds a bat in the grandfather clock.

Terry is disappointed but not surprised.

He becomes Apollo, with his hoard of Oracles on the streets telling him information. He's a pinch hitter, not particularly a fighter. Kate also finds out at this point and becomes Batwoman.

Years pass. Lark has rightful friction with Batman, breaks off and becomes Signal.

Enter Damian, who heard that Bruce's foster child flew the nest and decided this was his Chance to become the Blood Heir. But his info was a little late, because by the time he gets there:

Steph is the new Lark, Cassandra is Batgirl, and Jason is...well. Head Oracle? Delphi?

Damian decides to ambush Terry as he is blood-related to the Waynes and the one "closest" to being Batman's Heir...he intends to kill him. But the League of Assassins tries to get Damian back and Terry dies protecting him. ("huh...you would have been the age of my little brother Matt.") shh comic book time...

Damian is stunned. He doesn't know what to do, so he hangs up his swords and starts to actually connect with Bruce and his foster siblings.

The Batfamily is devastated.

Jason flips out and decides to abandon information gathering, going into training as the next Lark, supporting Bruce and Kate. Tim, who has been Stalking like usual decides there Has to be an Oracle, so he takes on the Apollo position. It's much easier now that there's internet and cameras and computers.

Barbara and Dick get wrangled a year after that. Dick was stolen from the Court of Owls and Barbara was instrumental in recovering him. They don't know Terry, but they know of him.

but...as you can guess. Terry isn't dead. He got scooped up by the League of Assassins. He's also partially deaf. He's a little pissed at Tim and Jason for "replacing" him, but. it can't be helped.

No, he just wants to save his little piece of the city. the Batfamily got too big. too many, too slow. It was better when it was just him and his street kids.

So Terry gets reborn as "Flamebird" and decides to go it alone.

(Damian will have a panic attack when Terry takes the helmet off.)

Thinking about reverse robins...but Kate Kane is there and Terry is her child. So that means Baby Butch Terry taking HER leather jacket and getting compared to his lesbian Mom and her rebel phase all the time.

FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING REVERSE ROBINS CONTENT,I OWE YOU MY LIFE

[meowzilla93]

Love Language with the Boys!!

I feel like its quite self explanatory in the games but I wanted to explore more into it so

Here is the primary and secondary Love Languages the Boys have!

Derek Suarez

Primary  - Acts of Service!

This boy loves and needs someone to just make his life even a fraction easier

You need someone on your side boo? We got you!

Lets start the day

Are you a night owl and sleep in? Well, you made sure to make some snacks and prepare his workout drinks in the fridge the night before – gotta make sure muscle man is eating right and getting his protein

Early bird like he is? Sweet! If you both go to the gym you pack his bag for him as he is getting dressed, or maybe you’ll go ahead and make a quick breakfast for the two of you to get some energy before a work out

Not going to the gym? No issues! You give him a kiss on the cheek and hand him his protein shake as he leaves, then whilst he is gone you can start prepping a good after workout breakfast for him to come back to

Has he got work or meetings he needs to go to afterwards? You could make sure his clothes are ready to go, or maybe the papers he was reading through the night before are packed away into his bag

You’ve got the day off work? Maybe we plan a nice dinner surprise with his favourite meal

Or you order in cause it’s a Friday and its game night (GO TEAM SUAREZ) and you both aren’t getting much sleep that night

Oh you noticed his favourite protein powder is running out? Better put an order in and top it up before he notices (of course he notices, he is absolutely touched!)

Poor boy has gotten sick? You just know he doesn’t want to let that slow him down

Guess what you are doing?

You are one step away from strapping him down to that bed (kinky, but not really HE IS SICK) but he finally relents, so you get to nurse him now

Mama Suarez has told you his favourite go to home remedies to get better, and you make it all! Tea, soups, hot chocolate, you name it

He is going to know what it means to be taken care of

You have Dereks Day! But its not once a year, its once a month

He needs to have one day every 30 days where its just about him and letting him let loose

The Boardwalk is always a winner, but sometimes its just a picnic, or go to the water park, or go to the movies. Whatever he wants to do, its getting done

Secondary – Words of Affirmation!

I swear this man, LIKE ALL THE OTHERS, doesn’t understand when we compliment him or anything

So guess what guys

Daily Affirmation Texts

He really needs these ones

Just a reminder of how amazing he is, that he is kicking goals (pun intended)

That we are so happy to be with him

Just remind him that he matters, because baby, you really do!

Cove Holden

Primary – Quality Time!

So we know how much Cove loves just spending time with us

Its his favourite hobby, pastime, memory, you name it

Oh our favourite resident merman has a new fish?

You are sitting down and letting that man gush about it, telling you all about its species and what the care is going to be for it

You don’t even have to say anything, just sitting there and listening to him is all that matters

Hard day at work?

He just needs to vent to you, same thing. You could even provide tips (im talking like, hit them in the kneecaps advice) to him just to get him to smile and laugh about it

Some think that Quality Time means you need to give each other attention all the time, but not for you two

All he wants is to be in your presence, and you don’t even have to be doing the same thing

You guys have aced Parallel Play

The most important thing is making sure you are within each others vision and you Gucci

He is reading, you could be watching something on your phone

He is cleaning the fish tank, you could be there just listening to music and maybe doing a hobby of your own

He just wants your presence

BE IN HIS PRESENCE

Any time away is torture to him, every Step in the game literally explains that

Secondary – Gift Giving!

Remember how excited he gets over the orange shell? The poppy? The fudges? The windchime?

This man is so ecstatic that you thought of him WHEN HE WASN’T EVEN THERE

And you are giving him something that he would like, and you did it unprompted

Prepare for waterworks

Listen, sometimes you just need to leave it on his pillow to come back to

You got up earlier than him (shocker that one) cause of work, so as you are quietly bustling around getting ready, you leave him a little letter or a present on the pillow next to him

When he finally wakes up and sees it, there are tears, and then there is an urgent call coming your way

Because of course he needs to thank you for it!

Just be prepared that you will get gifts too. That’s his way of showing his love and care too

Baxter Ward

Primary – Physical Touch!

Look, I swear this one is so obvious, but in case it isn’t I will go into HEAVY DETAIL OF WHAT HE LIKES

See he loves being in your presence all the time, but it simply isn’t enough

He needs some part of him touching you, even in a minute way, he just needs it

Driving? You are holding hands, this is a rule

Walking? Holding hands or he has your arm draped on his all gentlemanly like

Sitting together at a function? Somehow you have contact

You could be holding each others hand on the table

Or simply linking fingers, even just the pinky finger (YOU MJST BE TOUCHING)

Linked ankles underneath the table

Pressed up next to each other so your thighs or shoulders are touching whilst talking to others

Home alone and you are sitting on the couch together?

Position A: he is laying his head in your lap, you will brush your fingers through his hair that is the LAW

You could always give him a small head massage, he would love you even more for it

Position B: leaning against each other, watching a movie, he will have his arm wrapped around you and holding you in close, you could hold his hand as well

Position C: You are lying on him. Oh he will be brushing you hair, but say you don’t like that, he is content holding you hand instead

Oh this man is a sucker for hand holding (have you read anything above)

But you know what would make him weak?

Giving him a hand massage. Or just caressing his hand, feeling his fingers, brushing them across his palm. The lot of it

Can say the same about his neck and head; you could just be caressing him, admiring him and his skin and softness and he would 100% be lulled to sleep by it

Or, if you do it the right way, something else entirely would be on the menu (play prawn-hu- gets shot)

He is making dinner for you? Gently hug him from behind

Come home from work? A hug and a kiss is required for this tired man

Is there music playing? Oh a dance is required. Doesn’t have to be fancy, just a chance to hold onto you and sway is enough for him

Kisses – lord this man would accept a kiss any where

Hands, cheeks, chin, nose, shoulders, legs (alright we need to get back on track)

But forehead touches are supreme

Sharing a hug, foreheads pressed together, just being in each other space?

His heart couldn’t be more full

Bedtimes? You would consider yourself lucky if you can untangle yourself from him

You are 100% wrapped up in a Baxter Burrito and you aren’t escaping

But if that’s not your thing, don’t worry he is respectful of that

At this point as long as he can feel your body heat and movement in the bed, he will be content

After all he gets all the touches during the waking hours

Secondary – I Feel like this is almost two, cause He does need Words of Affirmation even though he doesn’t believe in it half the time, but also Quality Time is a big hitter for him...

With Baxter, because he is emotionally stunted, there is only so far you can provide him in words of affirmation before he just doesn’t listen anymore

So these ones need to happen sporadically, and during very important moments

Like when he is really beating himself up, rather than tell him he is wrong, you just need to flip the conversation to be positive

Sometimes you do just need to give him time to process what has happened and let him come back to you to talk, and that’s when you can gently re-affirm the positives with him

Quality Time just links in with Physical Touch

He loves being with you, and just plain talking with you

If you are long distance, he just wants to make every moment count, over the phone or in person

And if you do that back to him, well then you are just the more remarkable person ever

Don’t need to be doing anything fancy, voice calling is just fine

Going for a walk and chatting

Trying a new restaurant when you are both together again

DANCING COME ON

Thank you for reading my TED talk.

A small part of me is sad that Coves is so little, but honestly mans gets so much screen time, the other boys deserve a chance to shine!

cough I do not have a favourite cough

[arahusk]

“I need his soundwaves.”

Husk did all he could to not just give the longest fucking sigh of his life. Who knew if doing so would set the Overlord seated across from him off? Though as far as he’d known, Valentino was usually the one that resorted to a murderous rage whenever he got slighted.

No, he didn’t know what Vox would do exactly, and that made him a bit more dangerous.

“Don’t know why you’re telling me.” Husk relaxed his wings behind the chair, crossing his arms as he waited for whatever would happen next. “Is that what you kidnapped me for? Might as well have tried to go for the boss.”

Vox steepled his heavy claws underneath what would have been his chin if he had a normal head, but was now just the bottom portion of a bootleg version of a Samsung LED. Those same claws tapped just against his own screen for a face, sounding almost brittle. Must have been some cheap manufacturing. 

“Listen, you and I have the same goals, don’t we? I thought we could help each other out.” At that, Vox leaned back, putting on a showman smile that instantly reminded Husk of bad things. “Overlord to…once-Overlord. I still got a lot of respect for you!”

Husk rolled his eyes. “If your idea of respect is to get me drunk and then bring me back to your tower with a bag over my head, then that’s one hell of a definition change.”

A small spark passed over Vox’s antennas. His smile also twitched—or maybe it was just a visual glitch. “And now you’re at the dinner table of my own home. You gotta give me credit for my hospitality here!”

With that, he pushed forward another glass of scotch that he’d been serving since Husk woke. And despite it all, Husk didn’t feel like turning down a drink, even if that was why he was here in the first place.

“And let’s cut through the bullshit, alright?” Vox said with a bit more impatience now. “Alastor is never going to willingly join me, even though it would be in his own best fucking interest now. His soundwaves, my video feed; and all of Hell would be so fucking easy to control. I’ve told him every damn time and he just refuses!”

Husk downed his drink, the buzz helping deal with Vox’s irritating voice. “Yeah, he’s a stubborn prick.”

“Right?!” Vox shook his head, another spark shooting from his tiny hat. “Video is a big sell, but it only works when people are watching! So all those blind Hell citizens or the ones with no fucking eyes are not falling under VoxTek’s influence. That’s half of my demographic just slipping right through my fingers!”

If Husk had the energy, he’d have thrown this glass right at Vox’s stupid head. He’d have loved to see that screen shatter, those eyes fragmented and asymmetrical. Instead, he shrugged. “How generous of you to think of being so…accessible.”

Vox, apparently having no clue how badly Husk wanted to murder him, just nodded. “Exactly! VoxTek is here to broadcast to everyone, for everyone… To get everyone. And one way or another, I’m going to finally get our video-radio sync into reality. And you, Husk, you’ll also get what you want. Because if he joins me, he won’t have a hold on you anymore.”

Claws clinking against the glass, which was, unfortunately, already empty. “You can’t guarantee that.”

“Oh, I can.” Vox grinned, spreading out his arms. They sat within the very top of the Vees tower, the great view of Pentagram City shown through giant windows. Buildings plastered against the red backdrop of a morbid sky. “My full guarantee or your money back, with interest.”

Liar, Husk thought, but didn’t say anything. No, he considered…

Then he shook his head. “Alastor will suspect. So unless you’re guaranteeing he won’t tear my soul the moment he finds out, I’m not taking the risk.”

“Come on, old pal. Don’t be like that!” Vox slicked up his voice with so much oil, its toxicity was making Husk’s fur curl. “Work with me here. He trusts you!”

Husk scoffed. “He does not trust me.”

“Yes. He. Does!”

Vox’s voice was grating and loud, enough to make Husk fully turn to him—which was a stupid mistake. The alternating colors of red and blue that made up half of Vox’s screen engulfed Husk’s vision. The hypnotism worked startlingly fast, loosening up his limbs and making him tilt his head. It was only the last vestige of willpower—his claws pricking at his knee—that got Husk to shake out of it. The nausea left him as fast as it came.

“Are you fucking crazy?” he asked, which was also stupid. Of course the obsessive T.V. Overlord was crazy.

But maybe Husk didn’t expect the man to sound so insanely jealous, too.

Just like that, Vox’s screen went back to normal. He cleared his throat and fixed up his bowtie. The smile was back on his face, as perfect and charming as a sleazy car salesman. “Sorry about that, buddy. Got a little hot under the collar there. I just thought you’d be a bit more aware of your situation.”

Husk was getting tired of this, and was already picturing himself breaking through that window and flying right out. But he was still recovering from his hangover, and the hypnosis attempt hadn’t helped matters.

“Of course you’d know, huh?” He dimly wondered just how many surveillance cameras Vox had on him throughout the years.

“I do, as a matter of fact.” Then, his smile became more of a sneer. “Old-timey prick even told me once he considers you his friend. You, that little maid freak, and that cannibal bitch.” A chuckle left him, laden with static, electricity sparking up and down his antennae. “So trust me when I say, I know.”

Husk frowned, but mostly because he didn’t know what to say. His hand tightened over his now empty glass.

Alastor never made any sense to him. (He wished he did, the stupid idiot.)

Vox went back to a gleaming smile. He pushed another glass towards Husk, this time with some of the more expensive stuff. The alcohol glimmered like ambrosia.

“Now, be reasonable, and let’s talk business.”

[office-anomaly]

I mean, I’d love to hear your varcie thoughts!

(again, these are my opinions only. we can discuss to avoid fighting if ever there is disagreement lol ;w;)

READ UNDER THE CUT

ok so i will preface this by saying that everything is framed in the context of SDMI since marcie appears in that show only. vaphne and varcie are both good ships, but i prefer varcie a bit more due to how in sync velma is with marcie in a way that i think is even more aligned than she is with daphne in the show. and an extra element that i think seals the deal for me!

the first is the most obvious, which is velma and marcie being more aligned in interest and intellect. daphne is also intelligent, but it manifests more in her empathy and social navigation rather than hard knowledge and investigative method. this difference in approaching problems is important, and since marcie has the same (or near the same) informational understanding of the world as velma, this allows her to help velma in more straightforward ways. one example is how they were able to reverse engineer a tracking device from a chip they found, making investigation easier. given velma's one-track mindedness for mystery-solving, this could be read as commitment on marcie's part.

velma and marcie also both come from the same circuit. while different interests have not hindered velma and daphne from forming a meaningful friendship, it did affect priorities for them, the most obvious one being personal pursuits. having similar approaches to problem-solving allows velma and marcie focus on the task at hand most, if not all, the time. this lessens the likelihood of derailment and friction. a fair thing consider though is there's speculation here due to how brief marcie's appearance was in SDMI.

second is how they made each other better people in the short time they had on SDMI. as i said in a previous post that i like vaphne because V&D make each other better people, but we see this across the span of many shows and movies rather than being contained in a single storyline, so it feels less urgent and more stable. i felt like in SDMI, it was more of a given that V&D would be there for each other rather than a development i'm supposed to follow. in the case of velma and marcie, it was such a delight to see them develop into each other's support systems, even if its origins were off-screen in the time between seasons. personally, this feels more heartwarming because you see how big the changes are in velma when she came to terms with who she is and dropped whatever pretense she had about what she thinks she needs. it was refreshing and freeing to see her not want to change anything about marcie because she already knows that this is what she needs.

in marcie's case, she finally found a friend (and possibly more) in velma and doesn't feel like she has to put up walls around her. it's fairly simple since she's a secondary character, but it doesn't feel any less earned.

the whole rivals-to-friends-to-lovers thing is honestly so peak, i have to say.

third and last is...there's an element of reckless abandon that adds a lot of drama to this ship--which is ironic since both girls are shown to be very logical and grounded. what does this mean? you have to excuse me for being a bit delusional, but it reads like love to me. i think this is a unique factor of varcie, where our girls make dangerous, borderline bonkers calls in the name of love for each other.

we all know what happened at the end of marcie's arc, but there were other instances where she willingly laid down her own safety just so velma can achieve her goals. it almost feels kind of like a soap opera, where love takes over logic by way of self-sacrifice (figuratively and *sigh* literally). like you gotta realize how insane it is for marcie to say yes to going into the heart of Mr. E's lair to steal the disks for velma (and mystery inc). that is not a light favor to ask, and not a light favor to agree to!

on velma's end, she has to swallow her grief and see things through to not waste marcie's sacrifice. that is not an easy thing to do either. there's a tinge of madness happening in this ship that's driven by love and i think that's bittersweet and beautiful :( i try to be normal about this ship, but i fail most of the time lol

so yeah, that's pretty much it. thanks for being patient and reading my thoughts on varcie. i wanted to make sure what i'm writing made sense, so hopefully it does (??). if there are any violent reactions, let me know, we can talk about it :D

[anim-ttrpgs]

Patreon Poll and Kickstarter Funds Update

Alright, we’ve had a weekend to rest and now it’s time to get back to work. We already have almost ten new snoops done and ready to be put in the rulebook, "FORIVA: The Angel Game" is almost completely reworked and ready for patreon re-release, and we might have new merchandise coming soon.

As soon as "FORIVA: The Angel Game" is done, we still start back work on editing the finished sections of the rulebook.

I have started brainstorming work on the Living Doll playable supernatural characters type, as well as the Talking Dog and several other stretch goals.

I’ll do anything to put off finishing these examples of play..

We are still waiting on more than 60 backers to finish their backer surveys, so we aren’t sending out emails regarding the custom rewards yet, we want to try to be able to do that all at once if possible. Even if all the backer surveys had been completed, we would still wait on a lot of the emails, because we would want to confirm our funds first before we tell our team artists to get to work on custom rewards. Kickstarter won’t actually give us the money until at least 2 weeks after the end of the campaign. We plan to pay them up front, so we gotta have the money before they start seriously working on the project.

Speaking of that, there are three backers from whom Kickstarter has been unable to collect payment. At the time of writing this, this accounts for about $371 of our funding. On Friday, May 17th, if these payments have not been resolved, Kickstarter will cancel them.

That means we won’t get the money and those backers won’t get their rewards. It’s probably just a matter of the bank marking their payment as suspicious, but it needs to be resolved before May 17th. If you’re a backer and you’re reading this, please check your Kickstarter account and your email to find out, and please try to get this resolved before Friday.

Next, I’ve got to talk about our patreon. Despite the major success of the Kickstarter, patreon is an essential part of making A.N.I.M. a long-term viable career.

You can find our patreon here. Subscribing for $3 or more will give you access to our patreon discord server where you can meet the team and offer direct feedback, as well as have a vote in what our next project will be. Subsribing for $5 or more will also give you access to regular, playable updates on all of our in-progress projects.

We will of course be posting updates on our progress in finishing Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy and adding the stretch goals on Kickstarter, but if you want to actually play these updates as they come out, you can do so by supporting our patreon for as little as $5. We know some of you will jump at this opportunity to get improved beta versions of Eureka early, and some of you will just wait until final release, but for those of you who would like to get the playable updates, we have a question.

Would you rather us officially update the patreon beta copies twice a month, or once a month? There are definite pros and cons to each one and that’s one of the reasons we’re asking the fans.

Twice a Month

Pros

More frequent updates

Cons

Updates will be smaller and less significant in how much each one will improve the game materials.

Updates that come too frequently could annoy the people who are actually trying to use the beta copies for their campaigns, as they may feel like have their campaign rules changing too frequently to memorize.

Once a Month

Pros

Updates will be much bigger and more significant

Gives more time for people who are playing with the beta copies to have several sessions in between rulebook updates.

Cons

Updates less frequently

The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club

If you would like to meet the A.N.I.M. team and even have a chance to play Eureka with us, you can join the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club discord server. It’s also just a great place to talk and discuss TTRPGs, so there is no schedule obligation, but the main purpose of it is to nominate, vote on, then read, discuss, and play different indie TTRPGs. We put playgroups together based on scheduling compatibility, so it’s all extremely flexible. This is a free discord server, separate from our patreon exclusive one. https://discord.gg/7jdP8FBPes

Free Beta Copies

If you don't want to wait, but don't want to sign up to our patreon either, then you can get an older beta copy for free on our website or itch.io page.

Other Stuff

We also have a ko-fi and merchandise if you just wanna give us more money for any reason.

[okkos-ferrum]

gray's return in the show and how it defines gray as a truly morally gray character

i just gotta ramble more abt this scene, with it being one of my favorite scenes in the show. but really i just wanna talk abt how this scene encapsulates gray's ... grayness... of the moral variety

especially since it is done so effectively since, like i mentioned in other posts, our screen time with actual gray and not graham or whatever is limited.

this scene sees the return of gray in the plot, picking up directly where we leave off from all the way back in episode 2

Bye-bye, Black Sheep...

I assume you prefer I continue to call you "Carmen"?

as i stated previously on other posts, because of the silly brainwashing plot, much of graham scenes can be thrown out. in a sense, it's the writers' way to put a big old pause on his character

and these are only one of the two conversations carmen and gray have in current day as themselves -- with no mind wiping or brainwashing (not including flashback cuz the actual issues of the relationship that need to be addressed havent been established yet)

so resuming directly right where we left off with gray trying to kill carmen, we return back to gray trying to kill carmen :D

but this time he did recongize carmen's name, alluding to his change ... even tho he is waving his electric stick around -- mirroring their last encounter in paris

side tangent: something i, additionally, love about this scene is just how it is blunt and honest. much of carmen sandiego's drama/conflict is built of misunderstanding and misdirection and mistrust of the characters. Which while, yes, i am eating up, but unfortuntely can cause many characters relationships to be burdened with a lot of things that can be easily cleared up with a talk. gray for once just bluntly takes a stance.

something that i do like is that in their only two scenes with each other as themselves, carmen (the pilot flashbacks) and gray (this scene) open up so fast with one another. there's never any miscommunication between them during these scenes .... well until vile barges into the conversation....

ANYWAY here we get revealed gray's full perception of himself and his goals very explicitly, especially since his memories and alliances was the biggest question over the viewers' head for most of the show

here gray explains that he believes that he is not a good person, someone incapable of change.

from his perspective, the only way he was able to be a "good" person was when he was brainwashed. and he had just had however long with his chats with maelstrom emphasizing that he has always been a bad person by nature. with the knowledge vile will forever have full control over him -- either as a vile operative or as a mindwiped civillian -- gray essentially accepts his fate as a bad person, because at the very least he is himself.

carmen may have gotten away from vile, but he is told by maelstrom it is due to her being a naturally good person. because his own perception of himself is as somebody who is incapable of good, he will never be able to leave vile now

and carmen is right there in front of him. it was his hesistance that landed him into this debacle, and with maelstrom and bellum both just past the door and carmen alone, gray has every chance to right his wrong.

but he doesnt. because he realizes that the very least he can make the choice of is never hurting carmen. as i stated in other posts, gray's main motive is to be free from any standard that could get in between him and his success. but his want for this freedom ironically got him trapped within following vile's orders. he had been so caught up in following vile that he had lost sight of himself and what he cares about.

so now he explains to carmen his absolute refusal to hurt her again, begging her to give up in stopping vile

selfish and selfless

But I'm begging you, give up trying to stop us, because I don't ever want to be put in a position to hurt you again.

gray's plea to carmen here is so perfectly two-sided

he is acting out selflessly in not allowing his alliances against carmen blind him. i mean that is what he fucked up last time in the train, where it was clear gray wanted to spare carmen - with giving her time to share her side of the story and providing the offer - put unwilling to stand against his mission. like an actual human being, gray acknowledges his mistake and is trying to amend it by stating clearly that he cares abt carmen.

he, in essence, is apologizing for trying to harm carmen by expressing his major regret. moreover, he acknowledges their chat in the pilot, accepting carmen will not return to vile. it stems likely from the ink blot scene earlier, where maelstrom speaks about nature, making a distinction between vile, and by extension, gray's, and carmen's morals. he is finally reconciling that he and carmen will not be on the same side, no matter how much he wants it to be otherwise.

it can also be viewed as a sense of wanting to protect carmen. because he feels so small compared to vile, he barely can ponder how anyone can actually succeed in going against them. i mean they brainwashed him and easily gave and took away his civilian life. in his eyes, carmen staying far from vile is the only way she could be safe

however, viewing it from another perspective shows gray's selfishness in his plea. when he speaks about never wanting to be put in a position to hurt carmen again, he kinda places such a responsibility on carmen, not recongizing he himself is capable of changing that.

Essentially saying "hey quit while you're ahead so you don't gotta make me feel guilty when doing crime" while ignoring that he is making the choice join vile

It kinda stems from his lack of faith in carmen or his own cowardice against vile or a combination of both. What may just be the only way he can protect to protect carmen comes off in his own lack of faith in her ability. as i mentioned earlier, this practically is his own resignation to his fate that vile cannot be fought against. he took his own defeat as the only way to be safe, refusing to believe carmen can successfully fight them.

while he was able to get past the hurdle of accepting carmen changing and no longer standing alongside him, he cant seem to understand his own responsibilty in this.

he's being selfish by demanding a change in carmen's behavior while he continue along with his own desires. While yes, i did just detail the various factors that led to him to such a conclusion, the window was LITERALLY OPEN for him to leave

following carmen blowing up the facility and rejecting gray's demand -- SHE IS SO REAL FOR THAT I LOVE HER SM IN THIS EP -- the wall LITERALLY IS OPEN FOR TO LEAVE CARMEN WITH

Goodbye, Gray

Idk how intentional this is, but the framing shows carmen literally, by her own will, forcing an opening for herself out of vile (both figuratively in the past and literally right now lol) while gray watches on idly, too scared to leave the grasp of vile but just watching on.

and his cowardice is followed through in the finale, with after months of idly watching carmen slip deeper into evil by the brainwashing, he actually takes actions against vile by actively choosing to work with acme, abandoning tigress, and being the one to land the memory recovery thing on her.

it is what makes gray such a stand out character in this show, admist his frustrating back-and-forth and selfishness and sometimes wasted writing. he keeps making a mistake but proceeds to fix it right after. his growth into a better person requires him to make these mistakes, because unlike carmen and most people in the show on the side of good, gray doesn't work on any moral compass. he is not actively evil and wishing to inflict harm and conflict like paper star or vile facilty, nor is he driven by morals such as team red and julia. he is driven by whatever he selfishly cares abt. and from what we see of him both in the pilot and this ep, he makes as many mistakes as he does have slivers of good actions

basically gray is an interesting character cuz he literally fucks up his personal goals, but he makes an earnest attempt to make it better lol

[imawreck]

Carnival

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x Original Character

Summary: Bucky and Snow experience a carnival date.

Warnings: Just more fluff because it’s gonna get rough a few chapters from now, but of chaotic behavior

Word Count: 2,763

Snow-

I hadn't ever seen something like this in all my years on this earth.

Dim lights decorated an entire courtyard and massive machines rushed around with people on them. Some screamed in joy, some in terror, and children ran around with large multicolored clouds on sticks while laughing. Adults wandered in pairs, some in groups, and laughed as they talked with each other. Everyone looked happy and it warmed me.

Truth be told, I had never gotten the chance to divulge in these types of things. I had watched from the sidelines as if their world was a little globe I had to watch from beyond a glass wall. It felt so different being among them, dressed up, with someone to share the joy.

Bucky's arm radiated warmth from where it was looped with mine as he led me farther into the carnival. He smelled of leather and woody undertones from his cologne, familiar and comforting. I could tell he had put in effort to his appearance tonight too. His hair wasn't its normal level of unruliness, and his stubble looked angular and clean. "You trimmed your hair."

His blue eyes danced over me, "I did, I figured I needed it."

"You look very handsome Bucky, with or without a trim." My direct compliment seemed to startle him some as I watched his eyes widen and a red hue crawl his neck. I gave his arm a squeeze and steered us in the direction of some small tents set up along the fence. "What are these?"

He nodded with his hands shoved into his pockets, "These are just little rigged games you can play to try to win prizes."

I quirked a brow at him. "Rigged? Win prizes?"

He chuckled, "See, sometimes they'll rig the games to where no matter how hard you try, you can't win them. If you could, you would get to pick out one of those." He nodded once more towards some stuffed animals hanging from the sides of the tent and suspended on strings from the roof.

I marvelled at them, "We should try and beat them even if they're rigged."

Bucky shook his head, "I don't know about that Snow..."

I tugged at his arm, "Come on, you got the passes for everything here, right? We don't have to pay anything else, we might as well use it to our advantage." I stared into his bright hesitant eyes, "I think we can beat them."

His shoulders rose and fell in a defeated sigh, "Alright, we can try it."

I hollered in excitement, tugging on his leather sleeve. "Lets go! I want to do the ring toss first."

He obliged, smiling the whole way. We greeted the man behind the booth and he handed us the rings after a quick glance at the orange bands strapped around our wrists. Little glass bottles sat in a close triangle, barely any room to fit the tiny hoop around the lip of the bottles. I began to realize what Bucky had meant by rigged.

The man stood off to the side and smiled politely at us both as he explained the goal as he held out two small hoops. "Just gotta get one of your hoops around that there bottle with the red rim. Then you can pick any of these little prizes right here. Y'only get a prize if you get one around that red one in the middle."

I nodded, glancing up at Bucky who had adopted a look of concentration even though he didn't hold any hoops. He was skeptical on how it was possible aside from pure luck, I could tell by the doubt on his face. I bumped him with my hip, smirking at him as I bent down just a little to ready myself.

I felt a the cool breeze brush the back of my thighs where the dress had ridden up a little in the back with my movement and caught Bucky moving behind me out of the corner of my eye. He shot a sharp look over his shoulder as he angled himself to block anything from showing though I was certain it wasn't, I hadn't bent down that far. Such a gentleman.

I chuckled at him as I eyed the small glass rim, pulling my ring back and breathing out. I held my breath, measuring my strength and the distance, and softly released the small green hoop.

It glided through the air smoothly, spinning once before pinking right around the red rimmed glass. Both men gawked at my accomplishment as I stood back up, spinning around to face Bucky behind me and rocking up on my tippy toes. "I told you we could beat them!"

He looked down at me through his dark lashes, a small smirk climbing up his face as he took the last ring I had from between my fingers. His grip brushed mine and a shiver followed the patch of skin he had touched. I shied away from his eyes, suddenly aware of how close we were standing and stepped out of the way for him to try.

Bucky planted his feet similarly to how I had stood moments before and tugged at the base of his glove before he pulled his arm back. I could see his muscles contract even through the thick leather of his sleeve. I pulled my eyes away, not wanting the attendant to see me ogling my date.

Bucky took one last minute to analyze his move before tossing his hoop through the air. It hit the tip of the red bottle, teetering on it for a millisecond before falling off to the side onto the ground. Bucky huffed, shaking his head in disappointment. I gave him two quick pats on his shoulder, "No worries, you can show me up in a game of Ducky Pond." I pointed over to what looked like a kiddy pool swarming with small plastic yellow ducks. A look of determination flashed across Bucky's face as he nodded once, taking my hand in his.

The attendant at the ring toss spoke up, "Miss, you get to pick a prize."

I had nearly forgotten. I took a glance at the items hanging from the ceiling, then at the ones on the wall. There wasn't anything that caught my particular interest.

Right as I was about to deny a prize, a small child ran up to the counter beside me with her eyes alight with joy and excitement. "Mister sir, how can I get that pink ducky?" The girls voice was shrill but oddly polite for her age.

The attendant smiled grimly, "You'll have to toss this here ring onto that red bottle."

The child pondered at it for a moment, obviously noting the near impossibility of the feat. A woman, presumably the girls mother, took quick steps from the crowd behind us. "Penny, what did I tell you about running off without me? Let's get some cotton candy okay?"

I watched their interaction in wonder. The girl pointed with a small chubby finger at the pink duck that hung from a string. "Mommy, the man right there said I could win that ducky if I got a ring on a bottle. Can we please try?"

The attendant gave me an uncomfortable smile, obviously confused on how this situation would fall out. The woman gazed at the game for a moment before making a face of irritation, quickly smoothing it over with an apologetic smile towards her daughter. "I don't think so Penny, this game is very hard and we don't have enough to pay for the ticket."

The girl's lip popped out and wobbled at her mothers' words. The look of sheer disappointment and heartbreak on the small child's face tugged at my heart as I turned towards the attendant. "I'd like the pink duck for this girl please."

I could feel Bucky's eyes on me as soon as I spoke, watching as the attendant tugged the duck from it's string and handed it to me. I took it gratefully, careful not to let my dress ride up as I set on my knees in front of the girl. "Here you go, I'm sure she would be much happier with you to take care of her."

The little girl grinned from ear to ear, throwing her small arms around my neck and bouncing up and down. "Thank you, thank you, thank you miss!"

I laughed, wrapping an arm around her to return the hug and handing the fluffy duck to her. She spun it around and ran circles around her mother who smiled appreciatively at me.

Bucky's hand came to rest on my shoulder, looking at me with smiling eyes. "That was really nice of you."

I shrugged, taking his hand he offered to tug me from the ground. "I can't stand it when kids cry, tugs the heartstrings.”

He nodded, not taking his eyes off me as his hand slipped back into mine. "Ducky Pond?"

I shot him an arrogant look, "Oh yeah, you ready to lose?"

_____

Bucky was terrible at ducky pond. "How are you doing this? It's impossible!"

I cackled from my spot on one of the two round stools the booth attendant had provided us when she realized we meant to play a while. It wasn't an issue with her due to the difficulty of the game and the lack of participants.

I watched Bucky as he gripped the tiny plastic fishing rod, glaring daggers into the thin hook dangling from the end of the thread. Beside him, one duck sat in a bright blue bowl right there next to the purple one spilling over with a dozen.

The purple was obviously not Bucky's. "You just gotta get the hook through the little loop Buck, it's not that hard."

He scowled at me as I plucked another duck from the pond, checking for a pink sticker on the bottom. There wasn't one so I tossed it onto the pile. Bucky swatted my pole with his when I went for the next duck, "Hey!"

"You have too many, leave some for me." He sniffed, tossing his hook back down into the almost empty pool.

I scoffed, delicately picking up the duck he had smacked me away from. A hot pink dot caught my eye and I shouted, wagging it in front of him. "I got it!"

The attendant clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter at the look of muted rage Bucky gave the duck in my hand. I handed it over to her, grinning from ear to ear at my accomplishment. "You can choose from this case right here. Since you play so well, I'll give you one of the nicer ones."

Inside the case she had pointed to was rows of small little charms with cheap chains attached to them. I brushed past my brooding date besides me and leaned over the case to get a better look.

Almost immediately, my eyes were drawn to the solid metal snowflake resting at the bottom row. It was barely the size of my pinky nail attached to a small clasp. I pursed my lips to fight the smile that rose to my face a the thought of the nickname Tony had given me. "I'd like that one, please." I tapped the side of the glass to show her which one when she went to pull it out.

I felt the warmth of Bucky's hand press against my back and I couldn't help the shiver that danced over my skin.

The attendant handed it to me in a small plastic bag, "It's stainless steel so it shouldn't tarnish. You have a good time with your boyfriend, miss." I felt my face heat up at the mention of Bucky being my boyfriend but nodded, giving her a warm smile.

Bucky kept his hand on my back as we walked away from the booth. He eyed the small bag I clutched in my hands. "What did you pick out?"

I glanced up at him, "I got something for you, actually." I turned to him, stepping out to the side to avoid the crowds of people.

He stood in front of me, blocking everything else from view with his broad shoulders and towering frame. Bucky's blue eyes looked at me in wonder, "What is it?"

I eyed his collar, checking to see if I had indeed seen his dog tags dangling beneath his shirt earlier this evening. Sure enough, the worn chain peaked out from behind his white button up. Meeting his eyes again, I asked quietly, "Can I see your dog tags?" I knew what I was asking was more than the words themselves. Those were Bucky's personal items, and personal items to a soldier who didn't have much was like asking for his eye.

Bucky's blue eyes blazed with hesitance but he nodded slowly, reaching around his neck and lifting the chain over his head. He dangled them in front of me and released them into my outstretched palm. I closed my fingers around them while I rummaged through the small paper bag until the cold metal brushed my fingertips. I pulled it out, opening the clasp and snapping it around the chain between the two tags. When I had made sure it was secure, I lifted the chain up and over Bucky's head.

"I figured you could use a reminder," he lifted his hand to brush against the addition as I explained to him, "of who is the best at Ducky Pond."

A bark of laughter left him as he rubbed the charm between his fingers, looking at me with something I couldn't place. "Thank you Snow, I won't forget."

I couldn't pull my eyes away from him, "I have something else for you." But I shied away from his curious eyes at my confession. "I can't tell you now, it's too crowded here. When we get back to the compound."

Bucky nodded, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Okay Doll, I'll wait."

There it was again, that nickname. My insides felt like a thousand butterflies were fluttering around inside of me.

Just as I was about to comment on it, someone moved just beyond a tent a few yards away from where we stood. All black clothes, jean jacket, wire in the ear with a vaguely familiar face. I swallowed hard, taking a hold of Bucky's forearm and leaning into him as if I were going to kiss his cheek. I heard his breath hitch, his chest pause, and I spoke in his ear. "Someone is watching us. Blue tent, ten o'clock. Jean jacket with a wire."

His eyes followed mine, flickering over the faces until he caught sight of the man I had mentioned. The man was hardly passing as a civilian, at least in my eyes, with his combat boots and completely black outfit. He looked like he was trying so hard his effort canceled out.

Bucky's shoulders relaxed as he let out a breath. "Don't worry, just one of Tony's men. After the information we got in the interview, he was pretty upset I had asked you out. Hell, I surprised myself by asking you. He let us come out here because he figured that you could handle it if something happened but he sent out backup just in case. Wanted us to enjoy our date." Bucky's eyes dropped from mine as he finished the last sentence with a bashful expression.

I let myself relax with one final glance in the man's direction. We made eye contact, his beady black eyes boring into mine as a smile drew onto his face. He nodded once and turned away, walking back behind the tent.

Although something didn't quite set right about the man, I let it slide, figuring I was just paranoid after this week's events.

Bucky cleared his throat, "Should we try out a rollercoaster?"

I frowned, "What's a rollercoaster?"

A smirk tugged at his lips as he held out his arm, "Only the best adrenaline rush out there. Let's try the Bullet. It's fast and does a loop in the middle. You'll love it."

I stared at one of the large structures on the other side of the fairgrounds. "I don't know Bucky..."

"You're not afraid of heights, are you?" He teased me, poking me in the ribs.

"No I'm not afraid of heights! It's just new." I huffed, tugging my coat further over my shoulders.

His smirk grew, "Then prove it."

And that's exactly what I did.

Tags<3

@cjand10 / @blackbirdwitch22 / @imdoingathingmom

[alittlepudge-neverhurtnobody]

kinktober #12

Candy Crush 🍬 / Eldritch Nightmares 👁️

It was Patrick’s idea to put a candy bowl out at the front of the store, years ago when they’d first opened, to make it seem friendlier to families with children and people who might feel intimidated by the phrases body milk or facial polish. 

“Um, I don’t know how to tell you this,” David had hedged, wringing his hands together, “but my vision for the store is actually not that family-friendly.”

Patrick had laughed. “Oh, I know,” he’d said. “But that’s not good business for a community like this one, so we’ve gotta sand down your edges juuuuust a little.”

David had complained then, but it’s been a long time since then, and he and Patrick have come a long way, if the rings on their fingers are anything to go by, and Patrick has also been pretty judicious about sanding down his own edges, so David feels like maybe the scales are even now. Well — the metaphorical scales between them, at least. Patrick is certainly tipping actual, literal scales. And soon, David’s going to sweet-talk him into getting onto the old-fashioned balance scale he found on Etsy for entirely too much money and keeps in the storeroom for um, reasons, the main one being that Patrick says it’s way too unsubtle to keep in the house. Which isn’t totally unmerited, because the one time Alexis had slipped into the storeroom looking for the wine stock, she’d seen it in the corner and had made fun of David over text about it all day, and the last thing he needs is a repeat performance every time he hosts a holiday or has her over for brunch. 

Anyway. The scale stays. It has its uses. 

And, David is finding, so does the candy bowl.

“You know, this really wasn’t what I had in mind when I suggested it,” Patrick remarks as David does a lap around the store, straightening display items and making lines of product uniform, and casually grabs a fistful of candy on his way back around to the register. “I know you’re morally opposed to children in the store, but commandeering the candy isn’t going to prevent their presence.”

David unwraps a mini Snickers bar. “It’s not for me,” he persuades, brushing it against Patrick’s lips. “How far did you say you were from your goal weight?”

A pink tinge heats in Patrick’s round cheeks. “Not fair, David. Engaging in kink at work is not in our business contract.”

“Our marriage contract, on the other hand …” David wheedles, walking his fingers up Patrick’s big belly. “I just think that since we’re paying for the candy, we should get to enjoy some of it, too.”

Patrick’s lips are curling up at the corners, which means David’s almost got him convinced. “We could enjoy it at home.”

“Okay,” says David, “it’s not like I haven’t also proved that I am very willing to provide you with candy at home, too.”

“Provide,” echoes Patrick. “I think ‘shower’ would be the more accurate term.”

David drops his hand to grab at the doughy rolls that spill over Patrick’s belt. “I just think that you’re passing up a very attractive offer. Especially if it stays this quiet. You need something to focus on if the weather keeps everyone out.”

As if on cue, the rain outside gets louder and heavier. Patrick casts a sideways look at David. “Why do I feel like you choreographed that?”

“Um,” says David, trying and failing to look innocent. “Because I have a gifted sense of dramatic timing?”

“Yeah, that’s it,” says Patrick, and he finally takes the candy from David’s hand. “Okay. You get to do this today, but we shut it down if someone comes in.”

“Very fair,” allows David, already on his way back to the candy bowl.

—

It rains all week, and if Patrick weren’t the one in charge of handling their finances and making everything balance out at the end of each month, David would be worried. As it is, he’s already making mental lists of Costco goods they have on hand if the store goes under. And sort of regretting all the Sarah McLachlan he put on the store playlist.

“Hey,” says Patrick, nudging him with his shoulder where he’s standing by the register, nose only inches away from the rain-streaked window. “What’s the face for?”

David furrows his brows. “Am I making a face?”

“Yeah. A glum plum kind of face. I can see it in your reflection.” There’s the creak that David has come to recognize as Patrick settling his considerable weight onto the metal stool they keep behind the counter, mostly because David is too old to be standing all day but refuses to choose footwear with arch support. Patrick, for all of his impressive size, has pretty good endurance, probably because he still hikes every other weekend and religiously puts those gross little orthotic inserts in his Dockers.

“Okay,” says David, “it’s not that I’m, like, glum, per se, and I know that, like, this store is not exactly the staple establishment that the general store was, but it’s been, like, several days since we’ve had more than one person in here, and it’s getting, like, a tad  worrying.”

“David,” says Patrick, in that soft, smooth, reassuring way he has. “The store will be fine. We will be fine. The fact that we don’t have to pay rent on this space puts us a lot closer to breaking even than we would be if we were in that strip mall in Elm Glen.”

“Excuse you, I would never have rented space in a strip mall. Let alone one that still has a Radio Shack.”

“It’s just an example,” says Patrick, except now it sounds like his mouth is full. David pulls his gaze away from the rain-soaked square and the music video in his head. 

Patrick’s got a pile of fun-size candy bars piled on the counter next to him, and he’s unwrapping another as he chews.

“Oh, now you’re on board,” says David, crossing his arms. “A final plea for my goodwill as our business goes under, I see.”

Patrick rolls his eyes. “The business is not going under, David. I won’t let it. I know you need to be kept in luxury skincare and cashmere.”

“My skin is very delicate.”

“I know,” says Patrick, leaning forward to pat his cheek. His belly cants forward in his lap, sagging forward to dip farther between his thighs. And his thighs, god — his thighs, pushed even wider from the way he’s sitting on the stool, are heavy with cellulite that, in the right lighting, David can even see through his khakis sometimes. “Trust me on this one, okay? I’ll take care of you.”

David plucks a candy bar from the pile. “I’m choosing to interpret this as your way of saying that my taking care of you at work is now on the table.”

Patrick lets him pop the candy bar into his mouth. “I’ll let you have that,” he says finally. “On one condition.”

“Which is?”

“At the end of the month, you put me on that very expensive Etsy scale.”

“Yes,” David says breathlessly. “Yes, absolutely.”

“Also, I’m changing the playlist. The energy in here is grim.”

—

Patrick groans and lifts his belly so that it sits in a wobbly mound on the counter. David’s head snaps up instantly from fussing with the layout of the towels.

“Are you okay?” he asks, hurrying over, and Patrick nods, massaging his underbelly.

“I think I need to let my belt out another notch.”

“Oh,” breathes David, and Patrick grins. 

“Yeah, I thought you’d like that.”

“No one’s coming in,” says David, grabbing the box cutter from under the till. “We could go do it in the back. Or I can watch the register while you do it.”

“It doesn’t have to be right now,” says Patrick with a little smile. “I’ll live until we get home.”

“Well, you shouldn’t be uncomfortable,” David tuts. “When was the last time you had to loosen it?”

Patrick rubs at his soft chin where it doubles. “Man, a while ago. Around three-eighty, maybe? I’m on the last hole of this one, so buckle up.”

Not even the pun can stop David from whining and instinctively grabbing a mini Twix from the stash he’s begun to keep at the counter to shove in Patrick’s mouth. “How much do you think that is?”

“I don’t know, twenty pounds or so? Twenty-five? We could probably figure out how many pounds per hole if we wanted to. Could be some fun math.”

“Okay,” says David, pointing the Twix at him, “I love you so much and I desperately want you to outgrow all of your belts, but I must blacklist the phrase ‘fun math’ from our relationship.”

“Oh, I’ll do the math,” says Patrick, accepting the Twix bar. “You can just enjoy my findings.”

For that, he gets another Twix before he’s even done with the first. 

— 

The rain continues. The candy bowl ebbs lower every day, despite how often David refills it. By the week before Halloween, Patrick can’t do up even his largest belt, and his button-downs are starting to strain against the heavy sag of his belly. 

“I know it’s not the end of the month yet,” says David, somewhere between hesitant and hopeful, “but outgrowing your belts seems like a pretty sizable milestone, so I was thinking that maybe … we could …”

Patrick shoots him a knowing glance. “You just want to put me on the scale.”

“I mean, yes,” says David. “But it’s not like that will change, so we could always, you know, do it today and then again at the end of the month. It could be more incentive to, um, work towards your goals.”

There’s a long, agonizing pause as Patrick unwraps a Reese’s and pops it in his mouth. He makes David wait as he chews, and then he palms his belly and sets it jiggling as he swallows. 

“Mmmm,” he says, stretching his chubby arms over his head and letting not just his button-down, but his undershirt come untucked. His stomach tumbles out, pale and dimpled and perfect, and David experiences a rare moment of total speechlessness. 

“Oh my god,” he manages finally. “This is obviously a yes, right?”

“Yes, David,” says Patrick, squeezing his shoulder. “That’s a yes.”

He practically yanks Patrick into the back room and steers him toward the scale in the corner. Patrick steps on agreeably, then looks at David, who’s been too overcome by the idea of the scale to get weighed down by the particulars.

“Soooo,” he says, drawing the word out as he inspects the sliders and metal brackets and such. “I don’t … actually know … how to use this.”

“Oh, really?” says Patrick politely, and he somehow makes it sound like I know, David.

“I guess I can wait until we get home,” David sighs. “Excruciating as it may be.”

“Well, I have something I think might cheer you up,” says Patrick, stepping off the scale and hugging him from behind. The huge, plush weight of him suffuses David, and he feels the tension melt from his body as he sinks back into him. “I stood on the scale at home this morning, and we couldn’t read it even if we tried, because it zeroed out.”

David springs out of Patrick’s arms. “Oh my god, excuse me? And you were just going to keep this from me?”

Patrick’s struggling not to grin. “Let’s say I was just waiting to deploy that information at a specific time.”

“So we’ll have to replace that,” says David, not a question so much as a plan he’s making in permanent ink. “With a very high maximum. And I’m going to feed you as much of that candy bowl as I can before we close today. If you want that.”

“Oh, yeah,” says Patrick, folding David back into his arms. David nestles his head on Patrick’s shoulder and inhales, exhales his soft fresh air scent. “I want that.”

In the next room, the bell over the door goes off as someone enters the store. Patrick’s eyes go wide, and he hurriedly, lumpily tucks his shirt back in and makes for the counter. But even still, he turns around before he gets to the doorway and grins at David.

“See?” he says, nodding at the scale. “We’ll even be able to afford a nice one.”

[maeve-is-annoying-about-books]

Dawntrail endpoint review

Or: Wow they really spent half an expansion setting up for this and I love it. You know the deal, spoilers and all. Random internet opinion machine go! ->

I feel like before I get into Heritage Found and Living Memory I gotta talk about Shaaloani. I'm really sorry but I feel like this area, above all others, is really reflective of how Dawntrail needed a hard editing pass. Just one.

To say it's bad would be a misnomer, but the area story as a whole is a little bit of a... a non-sequitur? We just got out of the Rite of Succession's big high point and now we're gonna visit Erenville's home but very little of what happens here relates to the story that comes before or after. A tweak or two and it'd flow a lot better, maybe a story more focused on how Koana's march of progress here affects people. This is a place balanced too far on the side of Reason, and perhaps Lamaty'i can send us here to add a little of the Resolve's flair and unite people. Or maybe I'd use it to focus more on reflection, and here we have something that really caught back my attention.

The trolley crew of the First are reflected here in the train crew and this? Was brilliant. It primed me to look for similar reflections in Alexandria's lands and was very rewarding and more than that I think it's a subtle show of the difference between souls and memories. The train crew are still the same intrepid enthusiasts at a core, true level. At least in terms of FFXIV's world, soul and memory are two different components of a person and the essential difference is demonstrated well with this tiny scene. I'd LOVE to have seen it more repeated across Shaaloani as the intersection between memories, souls, and even our environment.

Then Zoraal Ja happens, the bastard. He is the worst parts of the other three competitors for the throne combined. He always was, we just never see it because he's so obviously strong. There's no way he's insecure, right? But look again at his goal, he wants to unite the world, the only way he could possibly outperform his father and carve his name. He frames it as such a noble goal but the truth of it is what we see in the invasion. He is an insecure coward. He can't die for his cause like he demands others do. He's a piss-poor commander who only cares for terror. He borrows power from others and calls it his own. Lamaty'i thanks us, Koana accepts help, Bakool Ja Ja is at least indignant when his cohort joins the fight. Zoraal Ja is a sad man with a sad death. He'll devour those in his care if it means he can achieve his goal.

He never will. The blasted second head of his monstrous form says it all.

Sphene stands as the true counterpart to Lamaty'i. Wuk Lamat's arc wasn't finished when she took the throne, her plea to stay in Tural with her was proof of that. Like Sphene needing Zoraal Ja. And then, also like Sphene, she grows beyond this need and becomes more assured of her path, albeit it in a gentler and more loving way. If I were to put it in words, Sphene learned brutality from her dependence on Zoraal Ja, while Lamaty'i learns to be true to herself from the WoL's belief in her, thus bringing about the final acts for each, a diametric opposition both sides regret.

In the Dark Knight quests, the WoL (through their counterpart Myste) brings back the memories of others. Giving life to the thoughts of the departed. And it was just as unsustainable then as it is for Living Memory. We see how Myste has to constantly siphon living aether to perform this act and even then it's a vanishing and hollow thing. Most people who encounter our memories know they aren't really there. Living Memory is this act on a worldly scale. Living Memory devours life to produce itself. Living Memory is an eternal golden era perpetuated by feeding on the potential future and other cultures. It is, dare I say, colonialism made manifest. A foreign power who arrives without warning and takes and shapes a land and while it brings a higher standard of living, supposedly, the highest and most revered tier is beyond the reach or knowledge of most.

But. Living Memory is also a place to say goodbye. It's a heaven where you can rest easy knowing some piece of you will carry on and meet your lover again. Hang out with a long-lost friend. Make up with someone who became your enemy due to a mistake. It is an area filled with love and catharsis and beauty with a terrible price for its continued existence. But even if we found some way to infinitely fuel it, I don't think it would be any better of a place, because while your memories live on there, there is no one back in life who remembers you. No one to speak your name or trade a tale with. The people there are more dead than Gulool Ja Ja, a man who is remembered fondly, whose legacy binds disparate people together and whose wisdom guides a new generation. His hand still holds Lamaty'i's, even in death, while the Endless lose their place outside of this nostalgic world of twilight.

Just... fuck, dude. What an incredibly poignant story to tell, one that necessitated the story that came before. What a fitting one for the first expansion to come out after the TEN YEAR arc that led up to Endwalker. It's a story that asks itself how it can hope to stand up to the weight of a legendary legacy and takes its tumbles with aplomb to set the groundwork for a new tale to come. For a new generation and a new leg of the journey.

[tanadrin]

Putting an end to an oil exec wouldn't stop the machine. But that's a given. What does put a stop to the machine is people demanding their right to live outside of this disgusting system.

No, not running away to the woods like some libertarian bullshit, but dismantling the system. Refusing to lay our hands on our neighbor as the system tells us to do. Refusing to deny food, water, shelter and fighting to wrest such things from the stockpiles around us.

I should note I do not mean getting more money or a living wage. I mean for certain the food, water, shelter, etc.

To dismantle the system, you've gotta ask yourself what the system is. What the machine of capitalism really, really is.

Cause there's a saying: "we're all cogs in the machine". And I think people forget what that actually means.

It means the only cogs in this machine are us. We're the ones that keep this thing going. We're all the ones that oppress each other for one reason or another. And while some of us are malicious and wish the system keeps going out of pure sadism, the grand majority of us go with the flow and keep turning the wheel because that's what we know.

The system's hands are our hands. It's people from our population that become the legislator, the white nationalist, the cop, etc. That isn't meant to humanize their actions, but to point out the source of where the system's manpower comes from: us. All of us.

It's hard to actually put this in a way that doesn't sound wishywashy or not possible. But straight up, the way you stop the machine is by having enough people say "no, I won't turn that wheel". And also not letting scabs turn the wheel either.

That actually does shut down the oil refineries tomorrow.

I mean, I agree, but that's also not a trivial task. You have to organize, you have to connect with other people, you have to have actual positive policy goals and a positive political vision of the world to replace the status quo with. You can't just go "1. Totally dismantle society as it exists, 2. ???, 3. Utopia." And unfortunately the more you flesh out the ??? the more the thing you are doing looks like actual politics with all its messiness and coalition-building and compromise, which a lot of people--who are deeply invested in a very narrow sort of ideological purity--will reject out of hand.

[gettingfrilly]

Please, which is your favorite special holiday? Can you do a short summary about what you think of each one (including the Alien invader special)?

Hoo boy.

I like all of them! Hank panky hullabaloo has some good what-if scenarios that give us more insight into the characters, jingle jingle jangle has some excellent Eddy character (almost) growth, boo haw haw has FANTASTIC art, and the Eds are coming gives us our only peek at all the kids working together as a team (except for when they all played football together but uh I don't really count that lol, Eddy mucked it up something awful.)

My favorite tho is definitely the Eds are coming. Usually when I especially love an episode of the show, it's because of what my favorite eraser head does in it, and this episode showcases some of Eddy's best qualities as a friend.

I've talked about this before, but I see Eddy as the "id" of the group. He's pure want and desire with little thought for morals and consequences. It's not all selfish, though- a lot of his goals are intended to benefit the whole group. Here are some examples.

I love this episode so much. Eddy enforces their group attendance, reads his brother's book to them, has them all practice on his mom's mannequin, then dresses them all in his clothes.

And the end of this episode is just so fucking sweet.

Look at how happy he is for Double D! You'd think with how Eddy is usually characterized, that he'd be bitter and jealous about Double D getting a dance while he didn't. Instead, he's filled with smug self satisfaction, happy that at least one thing went right under his command tonight and that he got to prove he was right about them all going.

And this kind of behavior goes all the way back to season one.

Once again, Eddy takes command of one of the group's social outings. More of this "we" and also more of sharing his brother's stuff and advice. (Perhaps another way Eddy tries to emulate his brother? He was, at one point, a mentor to Eddy, and there's several episodes where Eddy puts himself in a mentorship role, both with the other Eds and sometimes Jimmy.)

There's more examples than just these two episodes, but I wanna get this post finished sometime this year lol.

Eddy cares about more than the group's social status- he cares for their overall well being as well.

Ah, fistful of Ed. What an episode. What an ending.

This takes me back to my favorite special: The Eds Are Coming.

Gotta get Double D to safety!

And stop his besties from getting themselves killed! Never in the show have we seen Eddy be so outwardly protective of his friends, and it warms my heart.

Eddy is the self appointed leader, and while yes, that does mean he gets to feel justified in treating his friends like lackeys, it's also a responsibility he takes seriously. And Eddy may be the embodiment of greed, and that certainly leads to him being selfish fairly often, but he's far from entirely self centered. He sees himself and the other Eds as a unit, as a family, and his to make great and to protect. REMINDS ME OF ANOTHER EMBODIMENT OF GREED....

Double D and Ed are his friends. Emphasis on his. And Eddy hates it when people mess with his things.

[jyndor]

gotta say that midnights seemed slightly off to me from the get go. like I remember thinking the themes felt like a step backwards in terms of emotional growth after folklore and evermore, and bejeweled immediately had my mind going ???? because it was giving me sorry off of lemonade vibes, like not necessarily the same context or sound but something about it kept reminding me of sorry. that like, fuck being taken for granted, I'm gonna go be cute in the club like of thing.

and midnights does have this melancholy thing throughout which resonated with me deeply but it was also hard to swallow question and bejeweled and even tbh maroon and lavender haze (specifically the 1950s shit line from a woman who has never been shy in her music about wanting that traditional fairytale ending, but i just assumed she had grown into understanding that love doesn't have a fairytale ending, its ever evolving and takes on different forms over time).

but knowing what we likely know now, midnights can reflect the deeply complicated and often contradictory way that relationships work and don't work. you don't just go from love to resentment overnight, and sometimes it's both.

and I'm definitely not speculating, have no interest in learning what happened (it's not our business) but I wanted to share my moment of clarity on the album because I finally had it last night. I always liked it, but I couldn't get over how disjointed it felt. now it makes more sense to me.

maybe I have some young followers and I just want to say I've seen some really heartbreaking and concerning behavior from swifties since the news. I'm not gonna shame someone for getting too caught up in a parasocial relationship with a songwriter who has always put a lot of her personal life and emotions into her works, even if they are fictionalized and reworked into something she can sell. it's understandable that people would feel so connected to her, that's her business model. it isn't healthy which is why she's pulled back so much, but its still part of how her brand works. that carefully curated authenticity.

many of her fans are young, literal children. I don't want them to think that this idealized kind of golden love is possible to begin with - it is IDEALIZED. even with how realistic she has made their relationship sound in contrast to the fairytale loves she wrote about when she was younger, we don't know what they were actually like. you don't know. it's like thinking of their relationship as something from fiction, because in many ways what she wrote IS fiction - it's inspired by reality but fictionalized all the same.

there's a study that looked into when relationships tend to end on average. it's five years. it makes sense, after five years people really do know each other for the most part and likely have grown into more mature people. five years is a long time. five years ago I was just getting my esthetics license and now I'm a business owner. I know more about who I am and what my goals are. my goals have changed. sometimes people's goals become incompatible. it's normal and it doesn't make the love any less real.

this was probably her first serious and mature relationship. by all accounts she was at her lowest point when they met, and she's clearly grown a lot in the time since. that is not even taking into account his own journey and growth. again, this is normal and sometimes people can work through those changes, and sometimes people can't. it's not black and white though, it doesn't have to mean that what they had wasn't real love.

we weren't there, we don't know her or him and we shouldn't. taylor lets us see what she wants us to see. she's a mastermind, right? you don't know her and this is a great example of that. so hopefully younger fans especially can take some time to reflect on how to set better boundaries in the future to avoid feeling so hopeless and full of grief over someone else's relationship.

[heartlandians]

Nerd Alert News: Spencer Lord Is a Gamer at Heart

Spencer Lord fills us in on his return to The CW’s “Family Law” Originally from Kamloops, BC, the talented actor grew up on the baseball field without a thought about an acting career. Shortly after he earned his degree in mechanical engineering with the memory of a school production of “Kiss Me Kate” stored in the back of his mind. The acting bug finally caught him and he discovered the feeling of freedom and joy on the stage, quit his job, and pursued acting full-time. Known for roles in The CW’s “Riverdale,” ABC’s “The Good Doctor,” leads in several TV movies, and now he returns to his role as the firefighting love interest of Jewel Staite’s character in The CW’s “Family Law.”

A gamer at heart, Spencer loved his Starcraft, Counterstrike, and World of Warcraft. These days he doesn’t even have a game console in fear that he’d never leave the house! Get to know Spencer Lord and be sure to catch him in “Family Law.”

Colleen Bement: Thank you so much for taking time out for the interview. Let’s dive into your role in “Family Law.” What was the experience like on set? What was your audition like?

Spencer Lord: I auditioned for the show while I was in Victoria B.C. standing in on a movie that a friend was making. Lucky for me I had another friend in town who helped me tape, and we just had fun putting it together in her hotel room. That’s the beauty of self-taped auditions, which is what we almost exclusively see these days… we can work with our friends who help bring out what makes us the best actors: ourselves.

And once I got started on the show it was much more of the same. Jewel is a generous scene partner. She and the whole crew bring a level of relaxation to the set that brings out everyone’s best work.

CB: Tell us about your character, Aiden Walsh on “Family Law,” and, do you happen to have any qualities in common with Aiden?

SL: He’s a kind man, a firefighter whose job as a first responder means he helps others in a way most of us can’t imagine. In a lot of ways, he represents the kind of person I try to be, which was sort of my way into him as a character. I think, as actors, before we start to explore the people we play we need to find the thing that bridges us to them. With Aiden it was simply that he wants to help people, and Abby presents a pretty unique, driven, attractive person who needs a shoulder to lean on. To me, it seemed like Aiden meeting his kryptonite.

CB: I’m a sucker for rom-coms, so can you tell me about your movie “Mixed Baggage?”

SL: A couple of stress cases meet on an airplane, immediately click, and my character misses his chance to stay in touch. They mix up their identical luggage and they happen upon a  pretty sweet deal: gotta find each other to return their things so, whoopsie, we get to meet again.

The best part about working on a movie like that is always the people you spend those few weeks with. Everyone’s in the trenches together, working to accomplish a goal on tight timelines and with a limited budget. It’s always surprising and satisfying when you see the end result, knowing how hard everyone worked.

CB: I see that you grew up playing Starcraft, Counterstrike, and World of Warcraft. The fact that you don’t have a console because you’d never leave the house is hilarious and understandable. Do you ever get a chance to play anymore?

SL: Oh man… gaming is dangerous for me. Maybe it’s my ADHD. Maybe I was supposed to be a professional gamer. But once I start a new story I can’t stop. I actually just finished Tears of the Kingdom (because for some reason a Switch doesn’t really count as a console for me) and it was one of the best games I’ve played. Still got a soft spot for Final Fantasy VII and a good first-person shooter, though.

CB: Growing up, sports were a big part of your life and you never saw an acting career on your radar. Fill us in on how you ended up being an actor.

SL: I dunno, at some point you just go: Man, I’m not sure I’ll ever really be happy if I continue doing this thing I’m doing. For me, when I was around 23 or 24, that meant figuring out what lit me up inside. That was never really posed to me as a priority when I was growing up. Nobody asked, what do you love, how do you feel when you’re doing this or that… It was always, “What are you good at? Maybe do that.” So when I thought about it I remembered being on stage in high school and how exhilarating it was, so I quit my job and started taking acting classes. It’s a funny thing when you go from having a secure career with pretty solid earning potential to working in a restaurant and living paycheck to paycheck, but you’re happier. For me, that was a very eye-opening realization. Do what you love.

CB: I read that you have suffered at times with pretty heavy social anxiety. Do you have any advice for people who also struggle?

SL: This is a tough one. I’m sure it’s different for everyone because everyone’s anxieties are unique. A few years ago – because of the isolation of the pandemic among other things – I started to feel awkward, and horribly anxious in social situations. Particularly when meeting new people, but surprisingly when I was spending time with old friends and even family, I would feel intensely self-conscious to the point where I hardly felt like myself at all. What I felt like I had to do was force myself into those situations I found to be the most stressful. Slowly, gradually, the circumstances led to less anxiety and I felt more like myself. So as cliche as I feel saying face your fears, I think that’s a pretty powerful way to help yourself through something like this. That, and don’t feel bad or guilty about leaning on those close to you.

Speed Round: 

Favorite Gas Station Snack: chocolate milk

Latest TV Show you’ve binge-watched: The Fall of the House of Usher. Beautifully shot, such tight writing, flawlessly acted. *chef’s kiss*

Movie you watch over and over: Braveheart

Favorite book: The Goldfinch

Marvel or DC: MCU for sure, but I like the DC characters more

Favorite country you’ve visited: Not such a well-traveled guy, but I love me some New York

Dawn or Dusk? Dawn

Pie or cake? Cake

What’s your dream car? Late 60s Mustang fastback

Camping: Tent or camper: Tent! Waking up, unzipping the tent, and looking out over the mountains is my favorite

Who inspires you? Anyone who is kind to those who owe them nothing

Source

[the-himawari]

A3! Fushimi Omi - Translation [SR] Festival of Blooming (2/2)

*Please read disclaimer on blog

---

Omi: When I think about acting as Taichi, his smile comes to mind. But that’s a part of him that everyone knows, not just me as his roommate. That being said, that doesn’t fulfill the purpose of the project which is to “deepen your understanding of your roommate”… so I’m feeling a little lost.

Tsuzuru: I see. When it comes to Taichi, I do picture him smiling…

Juza: I’m sure you know more than just Taichi’s smile, Omi-san.

Omi: …I do. As his roommate, I’ve seen so many different sides of Taichi up until this point. (That’s right. Behind that carefree smile hides a crazy amount of effort and an element that really hates losing to himself…) Even when Taichi has a lot on his own plate, he always faces everyone with a smile, whether it’s Autumn troupe or anyone else. And more than anything, he’s always showering everyone with compliments. I think it might be because he himself wants to be praised, so he ends up being sweet on others… Oops, I went off topic, didn’t I? Haha.

Juza: Nah. I get it.

Omi: I understand that Taichi’s smile is the result of all of that combined. So I don’t think I can let go of that side of him. But that alone would be…

Tsuzuru: …Hey, what you just said is already enough. There are a lot of things about Taichi that only you know, right?

Omi: Eh? …Ah. I suppose you’re right… Even I’m a tad surprised that I could talk about Taichi that much.

Juza: …Wouldn’t it be good to put those feelings into your skit? That same smile can be expressed differently depending on whether or not you know the reason behind it. You’re not just gonna pull a simple smile and leave it at that.

Omi: Juza…

Tsuzuru: Besides, even though we were told this project is to deepen our mutual understanding of each other, I don’t think you need to think that hard about it. You should try conveying the things you like about Taichi and act them out in your skit.

Omi: The things I like about him… I see. You have my thanks, you two. I will give that a try.

-pause-

Omi: Taichi. Can I do my part for that project now?

Taichi: Of course! I’ve been waiting! Alright, alright. I’ll get my stuff ready right away… First, you gotta wear my clothes, right! …Err, ahh!

Omi: What’s wrong?

Taichi: Omi-kun… there’s no way you’re gonna fit in my clothes…

Omi: Ahh, now that you mention it… That totally slipped our minds, huh?

Taichi: I-I knew it! I wonder if I have anything that fits you!? Ah, this might juuust work!

-pause-

Omi: Oh, I managed to get it on.

Taichi: Ohhh… it legit just fits! …I have mixed feelings that it’s the perfect size for you.

Omi: Well it’s good that I can wear it for the time being.

Taichi: Alright, back to the task at hand… Omi-kun, go ahead with your skit playing me!

Omi: Sure thing. Here goes. “It’s so awesome Ban-chan can do anything! That’s Ban-chan for you!” “Juza-san’s a man amongst men! I totally get how his admirers feel~.”

Taichi: (Yep, yep. That’s how I usually am, I think! And I’m happy he’s acting with a big smile on his face~.)

Omi: “Sakyo-nii is always my goal! Being intellectual and passionate is the ticket to popularity!”

Taichi: (Huh? Could he be complimenting all the Autumn troupe members?)

Omi: “A-chan’s so rad and cool! But that’s not all. It’s nice that he has a cute side to him too~!”

Taichi: (It totally is! I never expected Omi-kun to act that out… it makes me blush a little.)

Omi: “Also, Omi-kun is…” “O-Omi-kun is…” Ummm…

Taichi: Ehhh!? You got stuck there!? Aww, Omi-kun. It was going super well until then~!

Omi: Sorry. Talking about myself is a bit…

Taichi: In that case, I’ll show you an example! Omi-kun’s tall, burly, kind to a fault, and he cares so much for Autumn troupe! His cooking is professional grade and he’s pro at photography too! Everyone admires how he looks when he’s riding his motorcycle!

Omi: Taichi…

Taichi: What’s more. I love Omi-kun when he smiles! I’m sure that’s the face that I get to see the most as his roommate.

Omi: Haha. Yeah, that might be an expression that only you as my roommate know.

Taichi: Right!

Omi: …

Taichi: Ahh, that’s it! That smile right there! Alright, let’s strike while the iron’s hot and snap the polaroid picture!

Omi: Sure. Is this alright?

Taichi: Wait, before that… You gotta have this if you’re gonna be me ♪

Omi: An Akapoyo-kun?

Taichi: Yep! You’ll be just like me if you take the picture holding that!

Omi: Is that how it works…?

Taichi: ‘Kay, here goes~. Say cheese!

*click*

Taichi: Mm~… I’ll give you 70 points.

Omi: Haha, harsh. Try as I might, I’m still not used to having my picture taken.

Taichi: I know how you are, so I’ll let you off the hook this time! Hehe.

Omi: I appreciate it.

---

previous |

[possessionisamyth]

not gonna lie felt bad for Dylan in DI for a short time however it turned into boo fucking hoo very quick

it was so why not focus on Maria? why not focus on Jill (it makes no sense Jill charging in recklessly at the start Leon turns up and she lets him take charge)

can't wait to rewatch it whenever that maybe (got the dvd wrong region code of fucking course and i don't know how to make dvd do it)

Okay. After watching the movie several times, I definitely feel more equipped to answer this question (which I own the blu-ray of but am watching totally legally online in another place when I don't want to set up the dvd/blu-ray player).

When Death Island dropped, and everyone was throbbing over Leon, I was annoyed by many of the missed opportunities to make the movie entertaining in order to focus on "realism" like they have been with the remakes and with Inifinite Darkness. Yet, the biggest dropping of the ball was with Jill Valentine, and we gotta talk about Jill so that we can talk about why Dylan sucks ass fails as a character foil to her. However, let's do a little definition first so we're on the same page.

The narrative purpose of a character foil is that when these two characters are on screen interacting with each other, their differences become highlighted. You got Romeo and Mercutio, Betty and Veronica, Chris and Wesker, these characters are foils that we can easily recognize without putting any real thought behind it. We can clock their motivations and the patterns they execute to reach their goals and see where all those little funky lines cross. They can be friends, antagonists, or enemies, but their purpose is to bring out the other characters good and bad traits to deepen our understanding of them.

Jill Valentine is a character that is an active player. She doesn't let things passively happen to her. She gets shit done. She's very hands on about everything. We see it in Resident Evil 1 where you play as her route, and if you play Chris' route the only thing holding this woman back is the cell Wesker trapped her in wherein she has no tools to utilize whatsoever. We see it in Resident Evil 3 where Carlos often takes a backseat to Jill pushing the narrative forward until she's infected and needs help only to pick up where she leaves off as soon as she gets that cure. We see it in the Lost in Nightmares DLC where she's keeping pace with another active character, Chris, and ends the fight by sacrificing herself. In Resident Evil 5 where she's just been saved from mind control, she's actively yelling and shoving at Chris to leave her and save the world when Chris doesn't want to after getting her back. We see it in all of Revelations 1 in juxtaposition to Chris' route. Jill is our Ripley in Alien , she is our Sarah Conner in Terminator, and so on.

Dylan Blake is a passive character. Death Island showcased this to us much more heavy handed than they needed to, but we got the picture. He accepts orders to evacuate important people and kill civilians warily but with no real fight behind it. He cried out on the ground when his friend killed the rest of their infected teammates after failing to wrestle the gun away. Doesn't get up and try again. He's active in saving himself after his friend got infected, but that's it. He hires people to kidnap a guy to build robots for him. It's heavily implied the virus in the bots is one of Glenn Arias' weapons meaning he didn't even make the damn thing. He doesn't commit to suicide and hasn't for 17 years because Russian Roulette absolves him of any fault when he fails. (Something they stole from the movie Bullet Train btw.) He could've shot Claire to teach Jill a lesson, but that decision would be too active for his character. He talks about cleaning the slate with no plans to stick around to see if the slate gets cleaned. Even as a giant bloody poopoo monster he's just swinging his body around listlessly until things break. Unlike every other antagonist or villain we've had up to this point, Dylan is the most hands off when it comes to this schtick. He is the guy that says "I'm going to do this thing, but whatever happens next is out of my hands" as if he's not responsible for glassware breaking after snatching away the tablecloth.

On a surface level, you'd think after both of them went through Raccoon City that Jill and Dylan are perfect foils of each other. Which they would be if Jill wasn't immediately shuffled into the passive role herself as soon as Leon came on screen. Examples of this? Well, we can watch the movie together, and I'll point them out scene by scene, but for the sake of answering your question here I'll try and bullet point them. Of which I will also be listing things people have already complained about because they all take place in Alcatraz.

-Why does Jill keeps losing/not using her gun?

-Jill struggles with zombies the same as others despite enhanced strength and non-existent aging from the virus.

-Jill struggles with lickers.

-Jill doesn't shoot Dylan during his monologue.

-Jill doesn't shoot or fight Maria during Dylan's monologue.

-Jill doesn't shoot Dylan during his second monologue before he kills himself despite seeing the gun he holds that injects viruses.

-Jill is responsible for hand flare to get Dylan's attention, not driving the car or giving her the big gun. She has to yell at him when his mind is basically not even there anymore.

-Jill has the bag of bombs that is supposed to off him and drops it after setting off one under water.

"But Jill is fighting in those scenes." Yeah, but Leon has to save her ass by giving her a gun. Leon has to kill all the lickers. Leon has to info dump about Alcatraz, a place the BSAA should've collected intel on like they always do before missions. A place Jill would've researched herself if she were allowed to be herself. Leon had to give her the opportunity to run from Maria. Jill just yells at Dylan for most of his nonsense even when he loses and is trying to run away as a giant bloodied poopoo monster. Is this the behavior of an active character after we see her at the start go into that house by herself to look for civilians, and later deny Chris his friendship speech in the shooting range? Is this highlighting her normally active traits against Dylan, a person who just lets things happen around him? Short answer: No. Long answer: Hell fucking no. If Jill is not doing the same thing as everyone else in the scene, her actions are reduced to passiveness matching Dylan's and not contrasting them! They don't even put Dylan into more active positions when Jill is made passive, so what the fuck is the point of this guy?! We hate him. That wasn't hard to do. Where's the rest of it? Where is the rest-?!?!?!

Listen, I'm not saying Jill needed to shoot Claire to inhibit her and possibly buy the scientist more alive time, but I am saying Jill needed to be firing at someone because it's not like Dylan would've handed her the cure if she kept him alive. Plus, Rebecca was already making a cure. So-?!?!? It's not like Dylan wouldn't have snapped his fingers sooner to make Maria act had Jill first gotten a good shot in his kneecap. If we want to highlight anything, why isn't Jill's brash actions leading to screw ups in contrast to Dylan's passive actions showing how he's winning and thus strengthening his spiel about all of them being pawns? I'm not expecting the world from a CGI Resident Evil movie. I know the quality to expect, but we have done better before this. I was more satisfied with Rebecca doing her smart thing in Vendetta despite the weird wedding dress scene of her on the table. I was more satisfied with Ada doing her spy thing in Damnation. I was more satisfied with Claire doing her thing in the first 20 minutes of Degeneration. But Death Island? For Jill? As a summation?

Jill Valentine has been used and abused by Wesker. She's been away from the BSAA for 6 years. She's been tossed aside by Capcom game wise. And in what's supposed to be the movie about her getting back on her feet, she gets sidelined because the director and writer were too busy furiously jerking off Leon Scott Kennedy to give her more than the bare minimum script wise in order to "achieve this goal". They didn't achieve the goal by the way. The little fist bump between Chris and Jill was not fucking earned in the slightest.

However if you truly want to know how dirty they did her overall, I can show you by simply comparing her famous rail gun scene depiction. In the original Resident Evil 3, the rail gun was a gigantic machine no one could lift unless they were a giant. For the Resident Evil 3 Remake, they changed it to something she can lift. In Death Island, they decided to do a callback to that rail gun from the Resident Evil 3 Remake as it's her pivotal final fight against Nemesis. They had her turn this iconic weapon, her iconic weapon, against Dylan.

Now anon, look at this big ass rail gun she gets in the Resident Evil 3 Remake where she barely flinches with the recoil. This is 1998. She is not buffed up by the T-Virus. It's a strap metaphor. This gun is two Jill's long, it's heavy as shit, and the camera angles tell us how hefty it is when we play the game.

Now, look at this fucking peashooter they have her struggling to heft around in Death Island. This is shorter than her. You could argue that because it relies on a generator and is portable, it's made of a heavier metal than the one on the charger in the Remake. It's still bullshit that she gets thrown back by the recoil considering she's buffed up from that T-Virus that doesn't let her age compared to how little she struggled with a bigger gun with a stronger recoil in the Remake.

Things that would've fixed this movie? Stop giving Leon all the lines. Make Jill the one that has clever thinking with the gasoline in exchange for Leon finding their exit out of the tunnels. Make Jill fight Maria during Dylan's monologue to emphasize that she's wasting time while her friend's are dying, thus making her take action role look futile compared to Dylan's passivity OR at least have her try to shoot and it fails by her gun jamming. Give Jill her gun back with one bullet in it after Maria wins the fight to then try and make her choose to kill Claire. Let her fire it once at someone and it do nothing. Liven up that Russian Roulette motif. Let the running away be her choice, not something Leon has to give her the opportunity to take. Let Jill have one flashback to any other fucking game which highlights how her usual method of decision making led her to failure before the Dylan showdown. Let her shoot Dylan as he shoots himself reiterating the foil contrast before the last big fight. Cut Leon and Chris' quirky little dialogue so Jill can have several more lines that would make the final shout at Dylan more hard hitting.

As for Maria, when we roll back that footage in Vendetta, she should've been beating the shit out of Chris in Death Island for killing Diego. It could've made the movie better with any of my changes of Jill VS Dylan by adding Chris VS Maria since Chris and Jill always do everything together.

[jedusaur]

that's playoff hockey, baby

for my girl @1000-directions, who just got into hockey this season, a list of ways the NHL playoffs Just Hit Different:

overtime: in the regular season, tied games go to 5 minutes of 3-on-3 then a shootout. in the postseason, overtime does not end until a goal is scored, and it is NERVE-WRACKING. if I ever have a heart attack, it will be during playoff OT.

playoff beards: in the '80s the Islanders won a bunch while bearded, and hockey players are the most superstitious motherfuckers on the planet, so now nobody shaves during the postseason. it is terrible and occasionally hilarious; not all men can or should grow facial hair.

clean slate: anybody can win in the playoffs, regular-season record really doesn't matter much after you've clinched your spot. there are underdog upsets all the time, nothing is guaranteed.

everybody is trying their hardest all the time: with an 82-game season, you can't give 100% every game and survive, you gotta pace yourself a little. in the playoffs, nobody is pacing themselves, everybody is giving it their all. it's faster, it's more intense, and players are a lot more willing to dive into the path of a 100mph shot.

physicality: the officials let players get away with a lot more shit in the postseason, so you'll see more hits and fewer penalties.

fights: there's less fighting in the postseason, because the stakes are higher, but when they do fight it tends to build up over the course of a few games and then dramatically explode.

grudges: when you play the same team 4 to 7 consecutive times, and emotions are constantly high, you really start to file shit away for later.

tailored strategy: in the regular season there's only a day or two to study up on the specifics of each opponent in advance. in the playoffs, you have time to really do your homework on the other team. players will memorize the goalie's weakest areas and aim accordingly, they'll adjust special teams (power play and penalty kill) to fit the other team's style, and coaches put a lot more effort into managing who's on the ice when, making sure their best defense is playing against the other team's top scorers etc.

importance of depth: if a team's success relies mostly on their top players and a few people are getting disproportionate ice time, then once the intensity cranks up to playoff levels, those people get EXHAUSTED. also, if one guy is scoring half your goals and that guy gets injured and can't play, you're fucked. this is a major strength for the Kraken—our scoring comes from all over the roster, so we won't have to wear out our top guys as much as some other teams will.

risk aversion: players are less likely to throw away the puck on a low-quality chance, so there's less scoring, but when they're holding out for better opportunities you get to see some really well-executed goals.

handshake lines: at the end of each playoff series, the whole team plus the coaches all line up on the ice and shake hands. sometimes people are dicks after a rough series, but there's a lot of mutual respect too, especially between the goalies.

noise: playoff crowds are L O U D