#But its all based on like two hours of research to find the perfect ones at 3am lol

[daboyau]

I got an idea when looking at this post by @tangledinink. I couldn’t rest until I’d jotted it down. The art possessed me like an evil spirit. warnings for body horror, vomiting, general fuckery. 💚

what probably happened directly before Leo found himself in this situation:

Leo: Fairies? No way those sparkly little assholes are real.

The fae who happened to be within earshot: and i took that personally.

Anyway, here we gooooo:

Leo opens his mouth to scream, but the sound won’t come out. He gags on the feeling of it catching inside his throat, and then again when the trapped scream begins to grow thorns. It scrapes its way up, and he claws desperately at his throat, trying to tear the feeling out, falling to his knees as he gags around the forced silence.

The threat of suffocation is enough to tear his attention, however briefly, away from the horror of what is happening to his shell. His body is changing itself on the urging of some other thing’s whims, and even though his nerves didn’t seem to get the memo that a dissolving shell (you know, the thing that most of his internal organs and, like, half of his bones need to stay inside his body?) should probably hurt a lot, he can still feel it.

He retches as the first flower falls from his lips. It hits the ground with a disgustingly wet sound, coated with bile and saliva. It shines wetly, rich orange hues standing out brightly against the black soil. The rest follow shortly after, a painful deluge of familiar colors, and he’s helpless to do anything but dig his fingers deep into the rich soil and try not to let the horrific impossibility of the situation drive him crazy. Tears flow freely, staining his cheeks before they fall to the ground below, greedily absorbed by the cursed earth of this place.

“Oh, dear,” a voice says, too close for him not to have noticed their presence. He tries to jerk back, but he can’t pull his fingers from the dirt. It hurts when he tries. A high pitched whine escapes his throat, but he’s too terrified to be embarrassed by that. The voice shushes him, soothes him, and warm fingers wrap tight around the back of his neck. They come to rest just above where the lip of his shell should be. He sobs at the way his back squirms as heat shoots down his spine and something begins to grow. The furred fingers drag like velvet against his scales as they squeeze, the sharp prick of claws threatening to break skin, and then release him just as suddenly. 

“So much sorrow and pain. And, oh, so many regrets,” the thing says as she circles him, humming a tune that makes his head pound in rhythm with his racing heart. His hands have sunk beneath the black soil, and it has begun licking greedily at his wrists as well. He can feel tendrils of something wet and cold winding themselves around his fingers, and he wants to scream again, but the bursts of bile-soaked colors decorating the ground keep him from opening his mouth. He can feel a petal still clinging to his bottom lip, and when the thing kneels before him, she reaches out to pluck it off, unbothered by the way he shrinks as far away from her touch as he can manage.

She slips it between her lips, and he catches a flash of a blackened tongue as it darts out to meet that single purple petal. Her teeth are sharp when she smiles at him. They hadn’t been sharp, when she’d first approached him in the Hidden City. Nothing about her had been.

In the dim lights of the underground world he and his brothers had only recently begun to explore, she had looked soft. He’d seen her approaching, and the first thought to flit through his head was, aw, bunny. A fluffy, rounded face. Big eyes, dark and deep as a still pond as they reflected the flickering neon of a sign in the shop window behind him. A pink nose had twitched when she’d smiled at him, sweet and kind, and asked him for his name. 

(What had he told her?)

Now, she would be unrecognizable, if not for the same strawberry patterned dress that drapes over her stretched out frame. He’d think to compare her to a hare now, but the hares he’d seen when watching Animal Planet with mikey had never looked like they would take delight in tearing his nails off one by one or plucking out his eyeballs. They had never made his vision swim or his body shake when he’d looked at them. Maybe she’s become more of a wolf.

The soil has reached his elbows. Those cool, slimy tendrils have circled his wrists like shackles. They’re squeezing tighter and tighter, and he feels his fingers throb and tingle as circulation is cut off. 

His mind flashes briefly to raph and how he used to tell them not to wear rubber bands on their wrists, convinced that their hands would fall right off if they got squeezed too tight. He wonders if the things that live beneath the dirt will steal what they’ve claimed, just like she’s stollen his shell. Another sound wants to bubble up his throat at the thought, and he lets it, because what use is a swordsman without his hands?

The hysterical giggles escape as big, iridescent bubbles. They glitter pink and blue and leave a bitter taste on his tongue. They only float a few feet into the air before they fall back to the ground, their attempt to flee the horror of this situation not getting too far at all. Soft green grass rises up from the dirt to catch them, but they do not pop. They rest, suspended on those tiny blades, for far longer than any bubble he’s ever blown before. He watches, transfixed, as his laughter is eventually swallowed by green. It begins to spread.

A hand cradles his chin, and his gaze jerks back to the thing that brought him here. She is watching him intently, eyes darting to take in every tiny change in his expression. She looks curious, in the same way that donnie does when he’s thinking about all the ways he can take something apart, and what he can do with those pieces to create something better. 

Her hand is soft where it touches him. She is gentle as she wipes a cloth across his mouth. It feels like water, soothing and cool, and he finds himself leaning into this tiny offer of comfort among the stomach churning violation of what is being done to him. His eyes flutter, and he distantly registers that the face she wears seems to swim before his eyes with each rapid blink, shifting back and forth between bunny and wolf and something other. She looks like she wants to devour him whole, no matter which face she wears.

From this close, he can see the way her eyes sparkle and dance when she smiles. He can’t help but think that maybe being swallowed whole wouldn’t be such a bad way to go, after all. 

The writhing shackles around his wrists tighten. 

She laughs, breathy and soft, and the sound is layered and beautiful like wind chimes. It conjures a hurricane inside his mind. Her cool breath gusts over his face. It smells like churned dirt and funeral flowers and pustulous rot. He doesn’t know if he wants to gag or breathe deeper. 

“Little blossom,” she croons, cupping both his cheeks, dragging their faces close. He doesn’t resist. She giggles, and she drags those soft hands and those sharp claws down his neck and over his shoulders, fingertips bumping against the disgustinghorriblewrongparasitetumor gathering of delicate buds that have sprouted up all across his back. She pinches one between the pads of her fingers, and he wants to screamcrybeghertostoppushherawaycutherdownandtearthemalloutbytheroots be good for her.

“Little blossom,” she says again, and those dark eyes catch his gaze and hold it as a heavy feeling settles against his skin, across his shoulders, around his neck, and he can’t look away no matter how desperately he tries. But he doesn’t want to try. Her smile stretches wider, wider, and for one brief flicker of a second he can see blood on her teeth as she asks, “Do you believe now?”

.

(Side note just for fun. The flowers that appear in this but aren’t actually described or named are:

Orange marigold, for grief and despair

Purple hyacinth, for sorrow and asking for forgiveness

Red cyclamen, for goodbye and resignation

Yellow zinnia, for missing a friend and remembrance

Bluebells, for gratitude and everlasting love 

[xadianglyphs]

Infantis Sanguine: Why Is It Like That

Okay, it's finally time to talk about Infantis Sanguine. In that I can't put it off any longer, not that there's a particularly good time. Everything we see on the Infantis Sanguine page is pretty much unique within the series so far, so there aren't any repeats or connections to follow. It also doesn't bear a ton of resemblance to anything we've seen before. So I'm kind of left with going over possible external connections or inspirations, and what we're meant to think about it based on the design.

Like, it's pretty clear from the way they show the Infantis Sanguine spell how we're supposed to feel about it. It's dirty and smudged, it's rendered in a red/black gradient that evokes dried blood, and the writing that goes with it is much shorter and sharper than any of the other writing systems we've seen, which are all very calligraphic. Additionally, it looks like an early version of the sort of magic circles we only see associated with dark or corrupted magic, like Kim'dael's summoning circle, the Tenebris Praesidium circle effect, or even Claudia's spellbook:

That kind of arrangement doesn't occur in any primal magic we've seen so far. Sometimes primal magic has individual runes arranged in a circle, like the Silvergrove entrance illusion or the Sunfire purification ritual, but the intricate, geometric stuff is exclusive to dark magic.

Anyway, now let's take this nerd shit to an 11 when it probably ought to stay at about a 5.

I'm absolutely sure that everyone d'une certaine génération of anime saw this in s5e9 and thought the same thing I did, which was, "nope, I've seen enough Fullmetal Alchemist to know where this is going."

In actuality, most of the Fullmetal Alchemist transmutation circles don't really resemble Infantis Sanguine, though there's some basic similarity between the human transmutation circles and the cover of Claudia's spellbook. The only one that's bears a passing resemblance to Infantis Sanguine is this one:

(Side note: would you believe it took me literal hours to find the source of that, probably because it's exclusive to the 2003 anime? It's the transmutation circle used in conjunction with a homunculus's human remains to force it to vomit up all its red stone (life force) and become mortal so it can be killed. Interestingly.)

Now, a lot of these graphic elements are rooted in other meanings or practices. A pentacle is a pentacle, Hiromu Arakawa didn't make that up. She actually incorporated a ton of researched alchemical symbolism into Fullmetal Alchemist, and the similarities don't mean "oh, TDP copied FMA." (I'd be kind of shocked if no one on the TDP team has seen FMA, though.)

The central element that makes these two graphics resemble each other is the crucified serpent, which is an actual thing, generally associated with Nicolas Flamel because it appears in a book attributed to him (this isn't from that book, it's a later representation):

Basically, as an alchemical symbolic concept, the crucified serpent represents the stabilization of a volatile substance. The serpent is further a symbol of the "prima materia," a universal, chaotic matter and the starting material for the philosopher's stone. You can go a step further and interpret the cross as the four elements uniting together to form the fifth, but medieval/renaissance historical alchemy was also deeply entwined with Christianity—the cross is also seen as emblematic of the cyclic "death and resurrection" of the prima materia as it is refined into the stone.

The crucified serpent with wings and crown is, as far as I can tell, something Hiromu Arakawa did make up for Fullmetal Alchemist, but it's really just adding another layer that further clarifies the concept as a symbol of having attained perfection or divine wisdom. (Hence its association with Ed and Izumi, who have both seen The Gate and attained the ability to perform alchemic transmutation without drawing a circle.)

Furthermore, the crucified serpent is associated with the rod of Asclepius and the caduceus, which also have a design association with the symbol for dark magic. We also have a strong association between snakes and dark magic because of recurring use in the series.

Now, as for the symbols that surround the Infantis Sanguine geometric/serpentine design, they bear little resemblance to any other writing symbols used thus far in the setting. Possibly they're similar to the symbols used in the blocks of body text from repeating book pages:

It's hard to say, though. I think it's probably a coincidence, since in both cases they're trying to use symbols that resemble a simpler, alphabetical writing system instead of the pictographic primal runes or the complex calligraphic symbols we see elsewhere. I'm not convinced the art team thought at all about human vs. elven styles of writing, and a lot of the symbols we see on human objects or books are also very calligraphic. BUT if that was something they HAD thought about... after seeing the Moon Nexus, Sunfire, and other calligraphic symbols endemic to the elven locations and cultures, I'd see the Infantis Sanguine writing and be like "oh, that's human, then."

Basically, I think the symbols surrounding Infantis Sanguine are meant to be perceived as actual writing or notation—something you could jot down with a pencil. Some of them even bear a passing resemblance to alchemical symbols, which were used as shorthand notation for materials and processes:

Finally, I don't think it's coincidence that there are these relationships between Infantis Sanguine and alchemy. As I noted above with the magic circles, we are meant to associate this spell (and possibly deep magic as a whole) with dark magic. Primal magic is laid out as very spiritual, in this series—it's energy-based, a connection made deep in your soul with a natural, universal force. Dark magic, on the other hand, is rendered as very physical—it uses materials, which are altered or destroyed in the process. It's also something fostered and developed by humans over time and experimentation, similar to science. We don't really know where primal spells come from, beyond a single reference that they are "discovered" while referring to the discovering character as an "oracle."

So yeah, I think we're meant to draw that association, if only to contrast Infantis Sanguine from primal magic by connecting it with something that itself has more physical and scientific associations.

...

Actually, there is one other writing/symbol that bears some similarity to what we see in Infantis Sanguine. But I'll get to that in another post.

[smileysuh]

Fix You TEASER

🌙 staring. Mingyu x afab!Reader

🔮 synopsis. “As a member of 53V3NT33N, I have two different states of mind coded into me, aggression and admiration. To love something, to admire it, is to feel aggressive when it’s questioned, to want to control it, if even for a little while- it’s the need to consume it, endlessly, as my fans consume and control me as an automaton. Even though I’m a member of a group, there’s a distance. Automatons can never truly motivate each other because our motivations are based on external human needs, it’s built into us- We can see when humans need us, and we do what we can to fix that need… I know you need me, the way I’ve needed you since I got here.”

tw/cw. unprotected sex with an AI robot, virgin!Mingyu, big dick!Mingyu, Mingyu's body is perfect, hand job, blow job, deep throating, pussy eating, fingering, flavored cum, praise, breast worship, switchy/submissive!Mingyu, multiple orgasms, slight overstim, AI slavery/working philosophical issues, risk of AI termination/job loss, technically this relationship isn't very worksafe, etc...

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 15.5k I collab. will be linked on tumblr posting day

🍭 aus. automaton/ai au, ai!Mingyu, robotics behavioral researcher!y/n, wellness center, future au, Promethean theory, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. i was so excited when @idyllic-ghost announced this collab in @svthub. Had a great time creating this world and working with everyone through the Discord server :) The masterlist is coming out July 15, but find the list of creators involved here and join the taglist :) also shoutout to @idyllic-ghost for being my beta reader, it really helped

It’s always kind of sad when you run a new level one automaton through their personalized wellness schedule. You’ve worked with all manner of high-class robots, from athletes to opera singers, but none of them have ever come into your program with the type of preexisting regimented day plan Mingyu has. 

You suppose it shouldn't be a shock that, as part of one of the biggest automaton boy groups in the galaxy, he’d had close to zero down time. When you show him the library and explain he should sit down in a spot of sun somewhere and read for an hour every day, at a slow pace, he looks at you like you’re crazy. 

“I don’t understand how this is supposed to help me,” he tells you, as you walk through the facility towards one of your favourite wellness locations; the pool.

“This might be an archaic example,” you explain, “but back when humanity first started making computers, laptops and such, many people would keep their computers on indefinitely. Sure they’d close the screen, but that’s not enough. You’d need to actually power down the device to keep its performance up.”

“I’m not a laptop,” Mingyu reminds you, with a flash of something like humour in his eye.

“You’re not,” you conceded, “which is why your nightly power downs aren’t enough. As an automaton, you were built to emulate being a human, but many people disregard one of the most fundamental aspects of humanity; the need for rest. Sleep and powering down isn’t enough if every waking moment is spent working or learning or practicing your trade- you have to allow for a variety of restful activities, such as reading, painting, gardening- it depends on who you are and your skillset though. For a chef, he might not gain rest from cooking because his neurons would still be firing with the intensity of someone doing their trade. Which is why, although I’ve given you physical activities such as swimming and tennis, you won’t be doing any dancing while you’re here.”

“What if I forget my moves?” 

“Something tells me the likelihood of that is very low,” you smile. 

“Okay, maybe I won’t forget my moves,” Mingyu sighs, “but I was made to dance. I was made to perform. What am I if not a level one dancer and singer?”

“There’s more to life than one’s job, however all-encompassing being a level one might be,” you explain. “I’m sure it’s very taxing on you.”

Mingyu pauses in the middle of the corridor you’re walking down, and you stop to assess him. 

“Are you alright?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he gives his head a little shake, and you’re shocked again at how human like the automaton is. “It’s just… no one has ever talked about this sort of thing with me. It’s always been work, work, work. It’s what I’m designed to do-”

“You may have been designed to be a dancer and a singer,” you nod empathetically, “but part of being alive is choosing your own destiny, as you and your bandmates all did when you escaped your facility.”

“Do you really think that?” he questions, standing very still and looking at you with a dark gaze. “That I’m alive?”

“At this point in time, artificial intelligence has progressed to the level where we’re told you’re sentient, that you can feel and think. That you’re as life-like as you’ve ever been in the history of the galaxy. You might have been created in a lab, hand-crafted and designed by some would-be God engineer, but to me, yes, Mingyu, you’re alive.”

☀️ to read the full fic AND 3.1k bonus NOW, subscribe to my Patreon, then click here

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[destiny2paladin]

Astroneer is by far my favorite game and it has such a small but dedicated fanbase. I will be making a long post here about the general game, progression, missions, and some very heavy spoilers for late-game. Also, its an independent studio making the game and bless its nearly perfect.

This will likely be the longest post I ever make on this hellsite (affectionate) and it'll be worth it.

First up, the setting. Astroneer is a game set in a different star system, with five planets and two moons. Each planet/moon has unique challenges, resources, and requirements to properly explore and utilize. You are The Astroneer, sent to this system to exploit its resources and research the system. You land on Sylva, the first of the planets, remarkably similar to our home of Earth. It is orbited by a singular, crater-pocked moon named Desolo. Nearby is Calidor, an arid, desert-like planet similar to Mars. Then there's Vesania and Novus, exotic, alien-like forested worlds. Glacio is the frigid tundra planet, and Atrox rounds out the group by being awful and feeling hostile down to the air around you. Astroneer's core gameplay loop is exploration -> collection -> manufacturing -> repeat. You start out with a tiny shelter, go out and grab some basic materials, build some better stuff, expand your base, get more stuff, go find more resources, get better ways to explore and manufacture, etc. So, in a sense, its like Minecraft and Factorio and maybe Satisfactory, but I've never played that last one.

Astroneer has so many mechanics and systems to play with that I'd have to make a 2 hour long video essay discussing them all. Automated crafting, resource gathering, transportation, research, processing, and more. I really only have delved into automation twice, and both times I've been floored by how INTENSE it is. There are: Storage sensors, power sensors, proximity repeaters, button repeaters, count repeaters, and thats just the BASIC items.

Everything below this is spoiler territory, so if you're happy with what you've read, congrats. Lots more below the cut.

First up: Gateway Engines and Gateway Portals. The bread and butter of 1.0 and when the lore and theorycrafting really got going. The Gateway engines apparently generate gravity in weird ways and are at the cores of each planet/moon, needing a unique resource to activate. There are six (or two, for the moons) purple nebula-filled structures (Gateway Portals) on each planet that require 30 seconds of power PER NODE to activate, and the power requirement increases as the planetary difficulty escalates. Sylva needs 6 power, and Atrox needs 30 power. For reference, the highest output portable generator of power has an output of 9 units a second. Everything higher is either stationary or dependent on environmental power for output. And since we're on the topic, energy production varies from planet to planet, and the day/night cycles are even different.

Sylva is the most neutral, with an average cycle, Desolo has no wind but decent sun, Calidor is REALLY good with solar power, Glacio has fantastic wind, Vesania and Novus both have good wind, and Atrox has almost nothing. Not even any unique planetary resources. This means that each planet, to have a functional base, needs a special set of power generation solutions, and there's even DIFFERING TERRAIN HARDNESS THAT REQUIRES DIFFERENT DRILLS AND TOOLS.

Moving on to the story, the player, through missions, is tasked with accessing and activating each planetary core in order to activate a strange satellite orbiting the sun. Once completed, you pass into a strange portal and then respawn back at your base. Congrats! You... did the thing? But that was when 1.0 came out back in February of 2019. In the four years since, Missions, Power, Trains, Xenobiology, Automation, and more updates have come out. The most interesting of which is Awakening. And Awakening introduced the lore and told the story of the game. It explained everything.

When you have completed three specific missions in the mission log, a new one is added. It simply says: "Help." And then it asks you to break reality. Something is speaking to you through the mission terminals. A little fox named EVA speaking to you on behalf of Chronos, the AI in charge of everything on the ship you came here on. Except... You never made it. The ship crashed. Life support, repair systems, the generators, all of it damaged. Data banks and the SOS system. So Chronos shoved everyone onboard the ship into a simulation, or at least unique instances of the simulation. This includes you.

Yep. That's right. Everything is a simulation. The sky, stars, all of it. Even the sun is a simulation, and THE DAMNED SUN IS THE CONTROL CENTER. You are told that Chronos' memories are broken, and need to be repaired so that the SOS signal can be sent and you can all be rescued. So you go around, learning more about how the world should have been. The wrecks? Originally fully-populated bases. Calidor? It was supposed to have gold! Vesania and Novus were massive research bases for alien structures. Atrox was supposed to be radioactive and with some sort of anomalous destruction present. The missions have been helping you repair the systems, the Gateway Portals and Engines have been repairing the real-world systems of the ship. The reason you respawn is because your real body never died. Just a copy, a simulated form. The dead bodies aren't real people, just NPCs that didn't load! The data is corrupted and missing shit so it throws in broken stuff! You're not alone in a cold and unforgiving world, you're just in a simulation like thousands of others! The ghostly versions of the Wanderer, the Conductor, and the Scientist are just what's left of the only casualties from the entire crash!

So you go around collecting the memory fragments, bringing them back to the control room to try to fix Chronos. Except... at the end, EVA realizes what the plan actually is. The memory fragments, they're not just memories. They're data. Codes for a manual shutdown of Chronos. Chronos came to the conclusion that there's not enough power for life support, AI systems, the simulation, AND the SOS beacon at once. Something needs to go, and Chronos chose to have you pull the switch. EVA is the final piece needed, and with everything together, you watch as this little fox and the AI who didn't want anyone to die fade to nothing so you can call for help. And it works. And at the end, Chronos left you a gift: EVA. A copy of the little fox for you to take care of. Someone to keep you company and remind you that you will be saved. You came here unaware of what was going on, died perhaps dozens of times, traveled across worlds, set up rail lines, studied alien life, and then uncovered the memories of a shipboard AI. All because the AI refused to give up and saw you as the best hope for the crew surviving. AND I SWEAR IF NONE OF YALL AT LEAST LOOK UP THIS GAME AND TRY IT BECAUSE ITS ON EVERY PLATFORM I WILL SCREAM. I LOVE THIS GAME AND I WILL DIE DEFENDING IT.

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

100 followers event

There was an anon that requested Brandy trying and failing to catch an invasive species for the shenanigans. Tumblr ate that anon (idk how it was just suddenly gone??) but I think I got the gist of it.

Tagtree Thicket always looked best, in Brandy’s opinion, on overcast days. It was a forest that housed mostly dark, poison, and ghost pokemon. Direct sunlight just didn’t fit the moody vibe that its inhabitants preferred. Overcast days, however, gave the thick canopy a chance to really blanket the forest in a perfect, sullen darkness. It was easy to see how much the pokemon residents of the forest preferred this - they skulked around with much more pizazz on days where the sun left them alone. So she was thrilled to find that the day she was to guide a team of researchers through the forest the sky was blanketed in clouds. She always preferred to show off the forest’s best side when company was coming over.

Which was part of the reason Brandy was trying to be extra thorough in her patrol that day. Sure, two of her team members at the ranger base had already completed their rounds of the thicket, but if we’re all being honest here they just weren’t as good at it as Brandy was. It wasn’t their fault, neither of them had more than a year of experience under their belt. But Brandy would be damned if she let herself get embarrassed because a couple of newbies couldn’t remember fletchling did not belong in her forest.

Besides, she just had a better system when it came to patrol. Her and Michael would split up, with one walking in a spiral towards the centre of the forest and the other walking in a spiral outwards. This way they were able to pretty thoroughly check every nook and cranny. And, as it turned out about a half hour into Brandy’s spiral, they were correct to have not entirely trusted her team. An excited yipping from Michael informed her that there was something that needed her attention, using a tone she recognized as standing for ‘this is non urgent’.

When she located her partner pokemon he was still yipping, circling around the base of a tree and excitedly looking up at something in the branches. Brandy followed his gaze and had to resist the urge to squeal in delight.

Glaring down at her and looking like the very image of cranky arrogance, was an itty bitty baby vullaby. It was, in Brandy’s eyes, the cutest baby pokemon on the planet. She couldn’t stop herself from flapping her fists around in delight, just for a quick moment. This was, of course a pokemon that was very, incredibly, extremely not native to Tagtree Thicket. Or Paldea as a whole. But really, that just gave Brandy an excuse to buddy up to the little bird so she could escort it out of her forest.

“Hey there, sweet little baby dough ball.” Brandy crooned, slowly approaching the tree in an attempt to climb up to the baby bird without frightening it away. “Poor little thing. You’re not supposed to be in a forest at all. You must be so scared. Did your mean ol’ trainer let you wander off?”

Brandy started slowly climbing up the tree towards the vullaby, crooning the entire time in the hopes of keeping it calm. They climbed the tree with swift confidence, and even at their slow pace Brandy was able to reach the branch the vullaby was occupying rather quickly. As they put their foot down on the vullaby’s tree branch however, the small bird gave an indignant squawk and hopped a little further away. 

“Hey, hey. Shhhh, it’s okay. I’m gonna get you out of this scary tree and we’re gonna be friends, okay?” Brandy’s typical method for using her capture styler on wild pokemon who were feeling a little antsy was to launch the disk and then just hold it at her feet or in her hand for a second to give the pokemon a chance to get used to the sight and sound. They found that an anxious pokemon that had a weird, whirring disk suddenly launched at them were a lot more likely to startle and either run or attack than one who was given a second to look at the capture disk.

This method did not work for vullaby. The moment the disk was launched from Brandy’s styler the bird gave what could only be described as a ‘battle squawk’ and proceeded to jump up and ground pound the tree branch they were both on, super mario style. The branch, of course, immediately broke and sent the both of them tumbling towards the ground.

“Ow, fuck, are you fucking kidding me?” Brandy hit the ground hard, managing to roll to disperse most of the impact. The vullaby hit the ground not far from Brandy, and was immediately toddling off and away from them and Michael with startling speed. “Oh goddam- Michael, track!”

Michael tore off in hot pursuit of the waddling baby bird, yipping and howling to communicate his location to Brandy as he ran. Brandy got up, brushed themselves off, and then took off after the commotion.

It didn’t take the two of them long to corner the baby bird again. It was fast, but it was still just a tiny baby bird. This time Brandy didn’t waste any time in whipping out their styler to start drawing loops around the vullaby. Surely it wouldn’t take too many circles to complete the capture, Brandy couldn’t imagine it would be more than five and then she could-

“SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Rather than launching an attack that Brandy could easily dodge, the vullaby opted instead for screaming at the top of its apparently very powerful longs. It was so loud and so sudden that Brandy instinctively covered their ears, which interrupted the capture. 

The vullaby immediately took the opportunity to run again. However, she had to run right by Brandy to escape. And Brandy’s reflexes were nothing to sneeze at.

“Gotcha, ya little punk.” Brandy snatched the baby by its little skull diaper. The vullaby kicked her little legs furiously. “Yeah, I know, this is really so mean of me. But ya can’t - eugh!”

Brandy jumped backwards, shooting her arms out to hold the vullaby as far away from herself as possible. She was forcibly reminded of an excerpt from an article she had read on mandibuzz a while back;

‘Their method of self-defense is to vomit their food, which they can send sailing 10 feet. If a mandibuzz is disturbed or harassed, it will throw up on the pokemon who is bothering it. Even the baby vullabies will vomit on other pokemon. Though these behaviors might distress people, they serve the mandibuzz line well. Vullaby vomit is an effective predator repellent.’

It became immediately apparent why this method of defense was so effective. Every instinct in Brandy’s body was screaming at her to drop the disgusting baby bird as fast as possible, and maybe even punt it away for good measure. But she had guests coming to the forest. Scientific guests, who would be able to tell immediately that this vullaby was wildly invasive to the forest that Brandy was responsible for. And so with a righteousness that would make arceus themself tremble, Brandy held on to the disgusting, wriggling vullaby.

Eventually, blessedly, the vullaby stilled. It glared at Brandy. Brandy glared back. Like hell was she gonna let this stupid idiot baby beat her in a staring contest. Brandy would stand there all day if they needed-

The stupid idiot baby blinked first. Probably because the stupid idiot baby wasn’t aware that it was in a staring contest, but Brandy took it as a surrender nonetheless. 

“You are an evil little bastard bird, and you ruined my uniform.” Brandy informed the vullaby. She took a deep breath, which she immediately regretted. The smell from vullaby’s onslaught was going to linger, it seemed. “But you are an adorable evil little bastard. C’mon, stinky baby. Let’s get you back to the base.”

Brandy, Michael, and the vullaby made their way through the forest. Vullaby spend the entire time squawking away, though Brandy liked to imagine the vullaby was making conversation and not cussing Brandy out. Brandy was wrong about this, but it was still a nice thought.

When they finally reached the base they found a team of strangers - the researchers, Brandy assumed - talking excitedly with Brandy’s base leader, Joel.

“Hey, hey. Anyone lose a vullaby?”Brandy called out to them, mentally wincing at the fact that she wouldn’t have a chance to at least change her shirt before taking the group out. 

The group looked over at Brandy’s shout. One of the researchers, a lady in a skirt that was not at all well suited to a day in the outdoors, immediately began checking her pokeballs. 

“Oh, my sweet baby Chanel! Oh, you are such a little prankster, when did you leave your pokeball? Silly little baby, come here.”

Brandy walked the baby vullaby, Chanel, over to the woman. She handed the bird over, mustering a smile that she hoped was charming enough to distract from her vomit-covered shirt. “She’s quite the little runner. You know you should definitely try to keep an eye on her, at this age they can really-” 

The moment that Chanel was out of Brandy’s hands and back with the woman, it gave another ‘battle squawk’. And with a swift bite to the woman’s hand and a strategic wiggle, she was once again free. Brandy could not hold back the dirty look she shot to the researcher as Chanel once again disappeared into the treeline.

[scsunshine22]

The elements blessed my wand?!

Two blogs in one day! I am not sure if that is a lot as I am still new to this website. But here goes!

I would like to share with you the making of my wand. I finished it yesterday evening, and it turned out to be a very special evening, perfect for the occasion.

First I started out with a pine branch, a nice one, that I got from outside my dorm. It was a good size, no nodes, and as soon as I started to whittle it it broke in half as it was too dry. So I went on another adventure to find another stick. This time, I found a stick, gave it a nice tug, thanked the tree and took it back. Although I don't have an image of the stick itself, here is one of a similar kind. Just imagine that it had three nodes at the top (we'll get to that in a minute)

I started to whittle this beast, and I was quickly finding that my multitool knife was not the most efficient option. However, it was practically my only option. I wish I had a ceremonial knife for this part. As I approached the dreaded nodes, I found that my knife was not working to tame them. I recently acquired a dremel and decided to pull that out instead. Now, when crafting your own wand, it is essential that you stay away from machines as much as possible, as you want to make sure that you are infusing hard work and good intentions into your wand. But let me tell you, I was still certainly working hard with this nail dremel.

It took me two hours to shape the wand, and by the end of it, I noticed that it had a slight downwards curve. Curves in wands can be tricky, as you want them to be a straight extension of your hand, or else the energy can be sporadic in direction, hence why I needed to completely remove the nodes. So, I decided to use the dremel to carve a spiral in the wand and I filled it with steel wire as to ensure that any energy I send through it would have a clear and direct path towards the tip. It also might cause some capacitation, which would be quite handy.

Next, I wanted to attach a stone to help aid me in energy, so I chose unakite. For those of you who aren't as familiar with crystals (don't worry, I'm not either, I'm just familiar with this stone) unakite is a stone that brings grounding, balance, and energy, its planet being Venus, its chakra being heart, and its element being fire. I might not have ever said this before, but I am very much so a fire sign who is greatly intune with Venus. So I found this stone to be very suitable for the job. I attached it using Sculpey®  clay. Once again, I would recommend natural ingredients, but I don't necessarily have an abundance of clay in the soil where I live. I also created a base with the modeling clay and attached a sun pendent for a cute touch.

Next, I became entirely overwhelmed with the plans that my imagination had created for me. I had done some research on google of custom wands, and I came across an Esty page where they used clay to beautifully sculpt flowers and ivy onto the wands, and I know that this is what I wanted to do with my wand too. Below is the Esty page, because I certainly need to give them credibility as I used their ideas as a reference towards my own.

I gave it a week or so, and I finally mustered up the strength to continue my wand crafting journey. First I laid the Sculpey® down for my vines and baked it. Then I worked on the leaves and flowers. Once it was all baked and set, I began to paint it. But out of the blue, a storm decided to join me. Not just a light thunderstorm in the distance, but a vicious storm. Lightning was jutting past the clouds, and thrashing across the sky down to the earth, wind was pounding the sign on my door, water was drenching the earth below, and the earth was receiving it. Around me, I was experiencing all four elements making their presence known without me invoking them. I knew then that this wand was special, and that the universe was trying to tell me that it would be of great use and power. I knew I wouldn't be able to consecrate it for some time due to my lack of an alter, but the universe had different plants for it. At the advice of my aunt, I ran outside and threw a pan on the ground as to collect some rainwater for this special occasion. As I realized these things, I took my wand unfinished, wet paint and all outside and I let the rain wash away all of its impurities.

I finished my paint job with a top coat of high gloss Mod Podge® to seal it, and let it rest over night. Although I know have a blessed and fully functioning wand, I first must become more acquainted with my own energy and learn to conduct it down my arm, through my hand, and out my index finger. Although it comes naturally if I concentrate on it hard enough, I want to be very careful with this wand as I sense it is very powerful. So that is my goal going forward, use my finger first!

Wish me luck on my journey! With love,

~The Sunshine Witch

[infinity-sansa]

A confusing rant about She-Hulk and The Rings of Power

Okay, I heard about the Rings of Power and She-Hulk debacle and it picked my curiosity. I wanted to see if it was really the fault of "trolls", "mysogynists" and "racists" as the people from the productions assured. To be clear, I only watched the begining of those two shows and didn't continue because I found them boring, but I may come back for She-Hulk because it's kind of short. Almost ten hours of boring Midde-Earth content though? No thanks, I have better things to do.

Thus this long half-assed rant about these shows fandom loves to hate, coupled with my own "research".

I'm basing my analysis on the website Rotten Tomatoes, where most of the trolls lurk according to different sources.

Let's see the two aforementioned shows first:

It's a nice score from the "official" critics but the audience kind of hated it, I guess? So is it really a troll thing? Let's compare it to other shows that have women and people of color to be sure, I mean, you must have a pattern for those things right? To be fair, I tried to find "comparable" shows, aka superhero genre produced by Disney for the first one and fantasy genre produced by Amazon for the second one (trickier, but feasable).

First, tv shows with a (white) woman as the main protagonist:

This one I watched and loved it, the score is totally deserved in my opinion.

I don't know this show and it's not much in terms of audience but it's okay I guess? The trailer looks interesting enough.

Now the next part: shows with a male person of color as the main protagonist, again produced by Disney (superhero genre) and Amazon (fantasy genre):

Okay, quite a good show that tackles racism if I remember correctly? A little on the propaganda side but it was fun to watch.

I know, it's more modern than high fantasy but it's the best I could find in a matter of minutes. I watched the first season and I liked it, never took the time for the second season because life happened. Nice score, not spectacular but it does its job.

Now let's combine the two parameters: a superhero show produced by Disney with a woman lead and we'll add the person of color part (Hard Mode but that's fine if it's a modern setting according to the racist part of the fandom), and a fantasy show produced by Amazon with a woman of color as the main lead (Harder than Hard Mode because "History" apparently huh?)

Oh nice, it even has an added difficulty bonus: Religion (Godly Mode I guess?)

Unfortunately, I didn't find any fantasy show with a woman of color lead on Amazon so here's this alternative in another genre:

Just saw the trailer, looks like a cute coming-of-age teenager romance story. If anyone has another alternative I'll take it, I don't really know Amazon shows compared to Disney+ and Netflix so...

Is there a conclusion to these comparisons? Well, first I really loved Ms Marvel (yes, that's important, at least for me). The first trolls that crashed the show before it aired were ignored so the score settled into a good note despite of that. If She-Hulk and Rings of Power were really undermined by the trolls it would have been the same, I mean, a show that features a young Muslim girl? That's the perfect target for the so-called racist and mysoginist trolls. Plus she likes Captain Marvel, a movie that was huh... not really loved for its main protagonist?

She-Hulk is close to the original comics on surface according to what I saw: she's Hulk's cousin, a lawyer, and she regularly breaks the fourth wall, so why didn't it work for the show? I love rom-coms and chick flicks movies don't put me off, but in this case, it didn't click at all for me. Too much. It feels forced. Maybe once I watch the rest I'll change my mind, but I doubt it. I hated the fact that the protagonist was so condescending with her cousin when she acquired her powers, she puts him down for no good reason and even mocks his years of suffering as Hulk. That's really mean coming from someone who suffered herself from men's condescending attitude (*rolls eyes*).

If I ever change my mind after seeing the rest of the show I'll add an apology, I really hope that's the case and she becomes a better person and a more complex character than the stereotypical hardcore feminist/Yas Kween! caricature incels seem to hate.

Angry/annoyed/constipated:

For Rings of Power, there's a lot to cover. It comes from an ancient fandom with a former beloved set of movies that served as a scale of sorts, but I find it hard to think it's only the presence of people of color that makes it so hated by the fans. The adaptation was sub-par, but I don't really care about that because I didn't read the original content. The book was so boring for me I didn't pass the first pages, so I guess it's a good adaptation in this regard?

The characters were... not great. It's weird to see Galadriel as a warrior because of what we saw about her in Peter Jackson's movies but after a while, it kind of doesn't matter anymore because there are more serious problems with her.

I mean, why is she both so bratty and unfeeling despite her age and experience? What about all the plot holes? Why does she care more about avenging her brother than finding her missing husband? Why does she have only three (3) expressions?

Lost/Sad/Duh moment:

and whatever this thing is that made me so uncomfortable when I watched the riding horse scene:

Okay, now that's I'm finished, I'm going back to write gay fics about those characters. 😉

I don't care much for the other characters, it's too long, Amazon please reduce the lenght of the episodes in half so it can be more watchable. I was looking at my phone for entire sections of the episodes.

Others characters were okay I guess, the elf played by a black actor was boring, I didn't care about him or the proto-Hobbits or the discount Aragorn, please give me interesting characters and stop talking in poems or quotes. The scenery was breathtaking but looked artificial, like a computer-made wallpaper I guess? But after a while, you get used to it and want a good story and good characters.

I hated some of the aesthetic choices. No beard for the dwarves ladies. Short hair for the male elves except the leader. They didn't care about the races of the people in this show but did make a difference between what a man a woman is supposed to look like, I mean we can't have "ugly" bearded women and "sissy" long-haired male elves right? RIGHT? STAY IN YOUR LANE GENDER-CONSCIOUS PEOPLE! MEN ARE MEN AND WOMEN ARE WOMEN!!!

For the final conclusion, don't mind me if you loved these shows, that's just my own biased opinion. I'm sure they have lovable characteristics, it just didn't work for me.

[youtubvideoseo420]

 If you want people to see your YouTube content, you need to optimize your videos so they can find you.

Here's the good news: you can rank highly on YouTube. You just need to know how. This post will tell you all about it.

How does YouTube SEO work?

Like any other search engine, the ranking of YouTube videos is determined by a complex algorithm, but we don't encourage you to get bogged down trying to understand all the factors.

Instead, remember the "goal" of all search engines: to provide searchers with high-quality content that best matches what they're looking for.

In many ways, YouTube SEO is easier than other search engines.

Why?

Unlike Google and others who weigh rankings by looking at backlink profiles, domain metrics, and other complex factors, YouTube SEO is essentially about optimizing what you can control: a great video, and labeling it properly with technical things like your video description, playlists, and metadata.

No matter how you work it, the success of your YouTube channel depends on getting your content to show up in those precious YouTube search results.

So let’s demystify it all. Let’s look at 10 ways to perfect your YouTube SEO, optimize your videos and channel, and ultimately get more viewers.

How to Rank YouTube Videos Fast

1. Use Focused Keywords

The first of our YouTube SEO tips is all about keywords.

Whether you're already posting videos to YouTube or haven't yet broken the record, basing each video on relevant keywords can be extremely helpful to your YouTube SEO efforts.

Like all search engines, YouTube works by matching users' search terms with the most relevant, quality results.

When reviving an old YouTube video, rewatch it and figure out its main topic. What is the focus of this video? Ask yourself: What are the keywords? (Get creative here! Think diagonally.)

For your upcoming videos, it will be easier if you select relevant keywords before you start. This will allow you to use a keyword research tool to find the most popular search terms. This will help you develop content for your channel.

Popular keyword research tools include Ahrefs, SEMrush, Keywords Everywhere, and KeywordTool.io.

: They all work in a similar way, but if you’re new to keyword research, KeywordTool.io is the most beginner-friendly.

Just select your desired search engine (YouTube in this case) and enter your desired keyword. We chose “Instagram Hacks”:

But the Pro version lets you dig a little deeper by also giving you search volume, CPC (cost per click) and comparisons with your competitors. (Don’t get hung up on the last two, they’re just a rough indication of how hard it is to rank for a keyword, but they’re not necessarily a reliable indicator.) However, the volume matters quite a bit. It is a very good indicator of how popular and frequently searched a topic is, which can help you decide what videos you should make about and in what priority. )

If you have used one of the tools above to find popular topics, you can identify keywords that fit your video topic by writing them down or exporting a list. Keep reading this article for tips on using keywords to rank higher.

Keywords aren't everything, but carefully researching them is definitely a good start in the world of YouTube SEO.

2. Optimize your video titles

Once you have your keywords, you can start optimizing your videos in different ways to improve your YouTube rankings.

One of the easiest ways to do this is to include your keywords in the title of your video.

However, with 400 hours of video material uploaded to YouTube every minute (!), one keyword alone is not enough to significantly boost your SEO value on YouTube.

Your video title must be enticing. It must tell YouTube users: "Click here!"

A good way to do this is to promise something: "Can you tell my viewers something?" "Will you entertain them?" "Let them know what they're going to see."

Your video title must be enticing. It must tell YouTube users: "Click here!"

A good way to do this is to promise them something: "Can you tell my viewers something?" "Will you entertain them?" "Let them know what they're going to see." Check out these results for the keyword "Instagram hack":

The YouTube videos that rank high for this keyword promise to teach their viewers something new. And of course, they have the keyword right there in every video.

But there's also a little extra explanation: the title "Instagram Hack" isn't enough to get views, and neither is "I'll teach you Instagram Hacks."

You need to think deeper.

: Let your viewers know exactly how many hacks you'll teach them, or promise something specific and popular, like in the second video in the example above.

Including these promises in your video titles, without going over the character limit, is a great way to generate clicks.

And what happens when YouTube's search algorithm finds you? You'll show up better in YouTube search results. This is because YouTube's automated algorithm has detected that a lot of people think your content answers their questions.

3. Optimize your video description

In addition to optimizing your title, you should also optimize your video description.

While the title is primarily intended to grab the attention of potential viewers, you can also make your description a bit more detailed.

YouTube will display the first 125 characters of your description, but we recommend that you aim to write double that, to 250 characters if possible. YouTube also recommends putting your most important keywords at the beginning of your video description.

Of course, it's not just about the algorithm. Your viewers will read this too, so keep an eye on their engagement. Writing exclusively for robots is never a good idea.

A link to the creator's website will appear right away. Below that are several long paragraphs about the video, including the video title and the keyword from the first sentence (building an online business).

A unique, optimized description like this helps YouTube understand what your video is about and serve it to the right people.

4. Insert the correct tags.

After you've inserted your keywords in the title and description, you should also insert them in the tags section.

Tags are for YouTube's reference only, so viewers won't see what they contain. And to be completely honest, it's been hotly debated how much weight these actually have in YouTube's algorithm, and the general consensus is "not much." But it happens so quickly that it's child's play.

Add as many variations of keywords and search terms as you can think of.

If we stick to "Instagram hack" examples, here are seven you can use:

Instagram Hacks

Instagram

Hacks

Life Hacks

Social Media Hacks

Social Media

Social Media Tips

Note You don't have to be super specific.

There's a Chrome extension for YouTube called TubeBuddy.

Among its many other features, it has keyword ranking tracking, which determines search rankings for different tags so you can use the best tags for SEO.

You could also consider an app like VidIQ to see what tags your competitors are using. Using the same tags as your competitors will help your video appear in the "up next" section when someone watches your video, helping you to get noticed.

 5. Create an Engaging Script

You might be tempted to skip this point.

After all, a script can be wooden and awkward, and you want to seem natural and spontaneous, right?

An engaging, well-written script can actually increase the chances of coming across as natural and spontaneous, while preventing you from getting distracted and losing your audience.

A script can help you tighten up your language, eliminate "um," "uh," and "where was that?", and capture your audience's attention. This also means you can create videos more quickly, freeing you up to focus on producing more content.

A 2015 study by AdAge (way back in the days of video marketing) found that marketers have just 10 seconds to captivate and delight their audience.

Their study also found that if a viewer isn’t fully engaged within the first 30 seconds, you could lose 33% of them. Remember, this was 2015; it’s even harder today.

So make sure you create a script with a short, compelling introduction that gets straight to the point and makes it clear why your viewer should stick around. Think of it as an extension of your title. Make a promise at the beginning that you'll keep to the end.

Another quick tip – say your target keywords in your video. YouTube is getting better and better at automatically "listening" to and transcribing your videos. Ideally, say your target keywords early on and several times – in a natural way that sounds natural to a human viewer, of course – and you might just boost your rankings a little.

6. Start creating longer videos

Contrary to popular belief, longer videos actually perform better on YouTube than shorter videos. Enter a keyword or phrase into YouTube. The highest ranking videos are usually very long,

. In fact, it is widely believed that YouTube uses watch time as a ranking factor. If you think about it, it makes sense. The longer the watch time, the more engrossed you are, the more likely you are to watch more videos, and the more likely you are to see ads. This means that YouTube is also commercially successful. !!!

The longer the watch time of a video, the higher the chance of ranking. Of course, this means that YouTube prefers long, engaging videos that viewers watch for a long time.

However, this does not mean that you should try to make your video as long as possible. It just means that you tend to answer questions completely and comprehensively, rather than splitting your video into five parts.

If your video is long and comprehensive, yet still engaging enough to attract viewers, YouTube will definitely take notice and your ranking will improve.

7. Increase Engagement

There's a reason why every YouTube video seems to end with this sentence: "If you enjoyed this video, don't forget to hit the Like button below and subscribe for more content..."

… or some variation of it.

Not only does this help grow a creator's audience and make it easier to reach previous viewers with future content, it also sends healthy SEO signals. Think about it: every like, comment, and subscription is a vote of confidence in your content. It's saying: That was awesome. Check out this graph:

It's based on a study of 1.3 million YouTube videos by Backlinko founder Brian Dean, and it shows a clear correlation between video comments and YouTube rankings.

Increasing engagement is one of the easiest YouTube SEO tips to implement and can significantly improve the performance of your YouTube content.

8. Create an interesting video thumbnail

Viewers only see two things before clicking on your video: the video title and the video thumbnail. And thumbnails are very important because visual information is processed 60,000 times faster than text.

YouTube automatically assigns a thumbnail for your video, which is just a random excerpt from the video.

To stand out, you need to use unique, attention-grabbing imagery that will get people clicking. Check out these examples:

Each thumbnail is chosen to grab the viewer's attention: the presenter looks directly into the camera, and on-screen text reiterates what the video is about. Illustrated elements in contrasting colors in the thumbnail grab attention and make it look professional.

In some ways, you can think of YouTube's SERPs as a digital storefront: you sell your content, and searchers spend time on it. You need to stand out in all the SERPs by providing the best, most professional, thorough content on the topic they're looking for.

This encourages people to click on your video. (Warning, we're not excited!) A high click-through rate will boost your rankings significantly, as it gives YouTube's algorithm even more of a chance to see "this is clearly the best content" on this topic.

9. Create Playlists

Playlists are a great way to increase the total watch time on your channel because they play automatically. This means that instead of viewers watching just one video, they're likely to watch 5-6 other videos.

Again, watch time is super important for YouTube SEO.

To create a playlist, you need to group several videos with a similar theme or theme together, like this:

: It also helps to reach out to people who create similar content as you (but not your competitors!) and ask them to add your video to one of their playlists. The more playlists your video appears in, the better.

Here's an example of what you might say:

"Hey [name],

I love your channel!" I thought your last video on [topic] was really interesting because [add complex content to show interest].

I think my videos are pretty similar to yours, so adding some of my content to your playlist might help keep viewers on your channel. Here are some videos that I think fit this description:

[insert left]

Tell me which videos I should add to my playlist.

Good luck!

[Your Name]"

When you reach out to these people, make sure you tell them why it would be a good thing for them. You don't want them to think you're just asking for a favor. By adding your video to a playlist, you're catering to a need of your audience and increasing their watch time. It also helps to offer to add their video to your own playlist. It's a kind of deal.

: 10. Add subtitles

YouTube videos can support subtitles to help people with hearing problems.

An added benefit of these subtitles is that they can improve your YouTube SEO, as they are crawled by YouTube and Google. YouTube can automatically add subtitles to your videos, but this usually involves errors.

To get your captions indexed and good for YouTube SEO, you need to either edit the captions YouTube provides based on the transcription of your video file, or upload your own captions. Here's how to do it

The 3 Best SEO Tools for YouTube

Another good news is that you don't have to do this alone. There are plenty of software tools out there to help you master video SEO like a pro. Here are the top five...

Keyword Research: Ahrefs Keyword ExplorerAhrefs is the industry leader in keyword research and is also great for YouTube research. Keyword Explorer can help you find keywords to rank for and get ideas for new videos.

Channel Management: TubeBuddy

TubeBuddy is a great tool for managing your YouTube channel. For example, you can use it to upload multiple videos at once, add custom thumbnails, optimize tags and titles, and more.

TubeBuddy is a great tool for managing your YouTube channel. For example, you can use it to upload multiple videos at once, add custom thumbnails, optimize tags and titles, and more.

And – because you need to stand out on the search results page for human viewers too – let's talk about Canva.

Canva is a great tool for creating custom thumbnails and graphics for your videos. It allows you to create professional looking graphics without having to hire a designer. There are even pre-made templates so you can create great video thumbnails with minimal effort. It's worth checking the latest YouTube banner aspect ratio and resolution guidelines, though.

Final thoughts

With so many people visiting YouTube every day, there's a lot of competition to share your content. While the competition can be daunting at times, remember that there are still plenty of ways to rank your videos, improve your YouTube SEO, and make your channel and videos more profitable for your business.

If you're struggling to even come up with ideas for the best video content, our blog post "21 YouTube Video Ideas for Business" is a great place to start. Or, if you want to learn how we can help you create your videos, check out our YouTube Video Info page.

[adviserbabycom]

Best Non-Wi-Fi Baby Monitors: Ensuring Safe and Dependable Baby Monitoring

Explore Our Expert Comparison of Leading Non-Wi-Fi Baby Monitors! Discover models boasting expansive screens, versatile split-screen functionalities, advanced night vision, options for 2-4 cameras, various screen sizes, and extensive range capabilities. All these premium features come at a price that's value-packed and budget-friendly! Top Picks for the Best Baby Monitors without Wi-Fi: - Best Overall Baby Monitor: Babysense 5.5″, model 2023 (~$129) | Jump to Review - Best Versatile Baby Monitor: Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO (~$199) | Jump to Review - Best User-Friendly Baby Monitor: VAVA 720P Video Baby Monitor (~$170) | Jump to Review - Best Baby Monitor with Large Screen: Bonoch 7″ Baby Monitor (~$170) | Jump to Review - Best Split-Screen Baby Monitor: VAVA Baby Monitor with Split Screen (~$250) | Jump to Review - Best Affordable with 2 Cameras: Babysense 5″ HD S2 Baby Monitor (~$172) | Jump to Review - Best VTech Baby Monitor: VTech VM919HD (~$172) | Jump to Review - Best Inexpensive Baby Monitor with 2 Cameras: Babysense 4.3 (~$149) | Jump to Review - Best Motorola Baby Monitor: Motorola MBP50-G2 (~$200) | Jump to Review - Best Cheap Baby Monitor: MoonyBaby Trust 30 (~$100) | Jump to Review - Best Audio-Only Baby Monitor: VTech DM221 (~$40) | Jump to Review https://youtu.be/YiYyF_D5Xvk Finding the Perfect Non-Wi-Fi Baby Monitor Features To Look For In Best No Wi-Fi Baby Monitors As a parent, my child's safety is my top priority, and choosing the right non-WiFi baby monitor is a crucial part of that. Based on my experience and research, here are the key features I prioritize: 1. Reliable Signal Strength and Range The most important aspect for me is the monitor's signal strength and range. I need a monitor that maintains a strong and consistent signal throughout my house and yard. A range of at least 800 feet is ideal for ensuring I can monitor my baby from anywhere in my home. 2. Extended Battery Life Long battery life is essential. I prefer monitors that offer at least 10 hours of active monitoring time, so I don't have to worry about frequent recharging, especially during the night. 3. Clear Audio and Video Quality High-quality audio and video are crucial for keeping a close eye on my baby. I look for monitors with clear sound and sharp video resolution, even in night vision mode, to ensure I can see and hear my baby at all times. 4. Two-Way Communication The ability to communicate with my baby through the monitor is a valuable feature. It allows me to soothe and talk to my baby from another room, providing comfort to both of us. 5. Ease of Use and Setup I prefer a baby monitor that is straightforward to set up and use. User-friendly interfaces and simple controls are important, as I don't want to struggle with complicated settings, especially during stressful moments. 6. Additional Features While not as critical, additional features like room temperature monitoring, lullabies, and the ability to remotely pan or tilt the camera add value and convenience to the baby monitor. By focusing on these features in order of importance, I can select a non-WiFi baby monitor that offers peace of mind, reliability, and ease of use, ensuring my baby's safety and my own comfort. This summary, structured in line with the principles of writing high-quality reviews, provides a detailed and prioritized list of features to consider when selecting a non-WiFi baby monitor. TOP-3 Baby Monitors without Wi-Fi Top Wireless Baby Monitors With A Large Screen Comparison Chart Best Non-Wi-Fi Baby Monitors With A 5” Screen Comparison Chart Top Infant Monitor with 2 Cameras No Wi-Fi Comparison Chart Best Long-range Babies Monitors Without Wi-Fi Comparison Chart The Best Video Baby Monitors Without Wi-Fi I absolutely love the Babysense 5.5" monitor. Its high-resolution display, split-screen feature, and night vision make it a top choice for keeping an eye on my little one. The RGB night light is a bonus for a soothing atmosphere. The Best Versatile Baby Monitor Non-Wi-Fi The Infant Optics DXR-8 PRO is a fantastic baby monitor. It's secure, easy to use, and the picture quality is excellent. I highly recommend it for any parent. Best Non-Wi-Fi Baby Monitor with Large Screen I find the Bonoch 7" Baby Monitor to be incredibly convenient. It's ready to use right away, and the temperature detection is a valuable feature. Plus, the non-WiFi setup ensures privacy. Best Baby Monitor that Doesn't Use Wi-Fi for Design and User Experience The Eufy Spaceview Pro is a game-changer for parents. Its 1080p HD display, wide-angle lens, and long-lasting battery provide top-notch monitoring, and the included wall mount adds to its convenience. Best User-Friendly Baby Monitor Non-Wi-Fi The VAVA 720P Video Baby Monitor offers great peace of mind with its non-WiFi design. The clear video quality and reliable signal are impressive, and it's so user-friendly. Best Affordable with 2 Cameras No-Wi-Fi The Babysense 5" HD S2 Baby Monitor impresses with its crisp image quality and night vision. It's a reliable and budget-friendly option that any parent would appreciate. The Best Split-Screen Baby Monitor without Wi-Fi The VAVA Baby Monitor with Split Screen is a game-changer for parents. Its split-screen functionality and reliable wireless connection make it a top choice for monitoring multiple children. Best Affordable Baby Monitor with Screen 4.3-inch The Babysense 4.3 offers a great balance of affordability and functionality. Its good range and user-friendly features make it a solid choice for budget-conscious parents. Best No WiFi Baby Monitor with Dual Cameras The Motorola MBP50-G2 is a fantastic choice for parents with multiple children or larger nurseries. Its dual cameras, excellent range, and two-way communication make it a reliable and versatile option for keeping an eye on your little ones. Best VTech Baby Monitor without Wi-Fi The VTech VM919HD is a must-have for nighttime monitoring. With its long battery life and clear display, it provides peace of mind throughout the night. The Best Cheap Baby Monitor Free Wi-Fi The MoonyBaby Trust 30 is a simple and reliable non-WiFi baby monitor. Its user-friendly interface, sound-activated LED indicators, and secure connection make it a great choice for hassle-free monitoring. Best Audio Baby Monitor without Wi-Fi The VTech DM221 Audio Baby Monitor is perfect for those who prefer audio monitoring. Its impressive range and battery life, along with convenient features like the vibrating sound alert, make it a dependable choice for any parent. https://youtu.be/M3f0FkgkEmw My Rating: Best Non-Wi-Fi Baby Monitors Drawing from personal experience and extensive research, this list reflects my commitment to helping parents make informed decisions. Each monitor has been evaluated against key parameters such as signal strength, battery life, audio and video quality, two-way communication, ease of use, and additional features. My aim is to provide a comprehensive and trustworthy resource for parents seeking the best non-Wi-Fi baby monitors. FAQs About Non-Wi-Fi Baby Monitors Essential Equipment to Pair with Your Non-Wi-Fi Baby Monitor Note: The specific equipment needed may vary depending on the model and features of the non-Wi-Fi baby monitor. Always refer to the manufacturer's recommendations and guidelines for optimal use. My Research Process I'm conducted extensive research, which includes analyzing user feedback and putting the products to the test. Our comprehensive reviews can be found on the following pages: - VAVA VA-IH006 Video Baby Monitor Review - VAVA Split-Screen Baby Monitor Review - Motorola MBP50-G2 Review - BabySense HD S2 Baby Monitor Review - Infant Optics DXR-8 Pro Review - BabySense V43 Baby Monitor Review - Eufy Spaceview Pro Baby Monitor Review In these reviews, we break down key features, pros, cons, and overall impressions. This information then feeds into our guide, helping us present a well-rounded view of the top no-WiFi baby monitors on the market today. Sources: - Is your baby monitor secure? https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/ - Baby Monitor Cord Safety Alert cpsc.gov https://www.cpsc.gov - Baby-MONITOR: A Composite Indicator of NICU Quality - NCBI https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/ Read the full article

[rainbowgothdisaster]

For the artist asks, 2, 11 & 18 :3

2. 5 favourites of your own work?

in no particular order:

pokesona, the stars are falling (not posted, will be posted with this years redraw), jewel's house, sleeping jewel, jewel's bedroom (also an extra bcuz i really like it but couldn't find the compressed file to put here: be back soon screen)

i have a lot of fun drawing my pokesona, it was drawn completely using vector lines which was unbelievably enlightening

the stars are falling was first drawn back in 2020 and has become a way for me to compare how my art has developed over the years. 2020 only featured Jason (he/him), 2021 only had Zero (ey/em), and 2022 includes the former two plus Cleo (she/her, but shes bigender and also goes by Liam he/him), 2023 will include Jason and Ambe (she/her). its a way for me to basically do a benchmark test on my composition and anatomy and colours and shading. i always have a lot of fun drawing it and sometimes making whole new brushes. important note: this one was actually submitted to an art contest, sadly i lost but it was actually my first time since elementary putting my art out with the intent to be judged.

jewel's house was my first time drawing and designing a house and finding different places to incorporate hearts was literally so much fun.

sleeping jewel is just super cute and jewel's bunny hoodie is my favourite thing ever. i have it on my phone and could stare at it for hours.

jewel's bedroom is ALSO a redraw. i enjoyed trying to fit so many things in it, i enjoyed sketching, i enjoyed lining, i enjoyed colouring. though this is actually my least fav of the 5 bcuz i fully believe the idea that your art is only as good as its weakest point. that's not to say its bad or that everyone will approach it as critically as possible. not even to say that everything needs to be perfect. but when i was rendering it, i didn't want to shade. so i took a funky brush and just rushed thru shading. in fact you can see that when watching the speedpaint, i just kinda scribbled the shading. HOWEVER that doesnt take away from the fact i think the rest of it is really well done. i think i did well on the bed in particular and the fact that i stylized a real bed that we own and my actual childhood bed that i would die to get back (we owned two, mine was lost when mum and dad had to abandon my childhood home bcuz of shitty roommates and a shitty landlord) i enjoyed drawing my actual stuffed animals and my actual lolita dress. it like actually has sentimental value bcuz of all of that i just wish i did it better.

11. favourite comment you've ever received on your work?

uhhhh so like i dont usually recieve comments on my work aside from my family's "wow i could never do that" soooo well go with the comment you left on my bunny hoodie design bcuz as far as i can remember iirc it was the first time id gotten a nice comment about my fashion designs and i was really happy someone liked it bcuz im like super nervous about my silly fashion doodles :)

18. do you have any larger projects you'd like to pursue? like comics, shortfilm, a series, etc?

yes! id like House Of Misfits to be a cartoon, tho the show would probably be lighter than the short stories bcuz i don't imagine i could explore Amber's backstory on screen. im making a proof-of-concept website which is technically online and more than 70% unfinished.

i also have a coming-of-age novel i need to do research for called Saftey Blanket about a hijabi girl named Aminah in her senior year of highschool (if i made it a series wed get to see her twin siblings realize they're trans which would be fun but rn they are but lil babbies), id like to make a children's cartoon and a visual novel but i don't currently have any ideas for either.

btw despite the fact that i am an animator, i don't want to animate a show. i want to run a show. i don't actually enjoy animations longer than maybe 10 seconds.

i have a side project based around the album A Constant State Of Ohio by Lincoln that would be a very personal project around self image while having multiple personality disorders (and other problems), but i cannot for the life of me make an animatic. there's lots of ideas like this jostling in my brain, like a stop-motion animation of Through The Roof n Underground by Gogol Bordello, where i just simply cannot which i am fine with.

then theres the fact i do actually want to sew my fashion designs, at least that bunny hoodie if nothing else, and i cannot get my hands on any fabric despite owning a sewing machine

[alexboydakov]

How to choose a restaurant for lovers' dinner

Choosing a romantic restaurant for a date with your significant other can be one of the most exciting and anxiety-inducing experiences. From picking the perfect location to selecting the right atmosphere, it’s important to ensure that you and your partner are comfortably comfortable during dinner. Here’s how to choose the perfect restaurant for a special and memorable night out with your loved one.

Step one: set a budget

Before you start shopping around for restaurants, it’s important to have an idea of how much you’re willing to spend on dinner. This will help narrow down potential locations that may fit into your budget, as well as help determine which dishes might be too pricey or not enough for what you want out of the evening. Having a budget in mind will also make for an easier decision-making process when choosing appetizers, entrées, desserts and drinks during dinner.

Step two: think about location

Location is key when deciding where to take someone out on a romantic dinner date. You can search online or get recommendations from friends or family members of places they have been before, but no matter where you look, make sure it’s convenient and accessible from your home or wherever else you may be coming from that evening. Additionally, many cities have neighborhoods specifically designed around different types of cuisines if you want to try something new — italian in little italy or mexican in pilsen etc… — so take advantage of these areas if available near by!

Step three: review the menu

Once you know roughly where you want to go for dinner with your partner that evening research menus online ahead of time so there aren’t any surprises when looking at prices once seated at the restaurant itself! See if there are any dishes both partners would enjoy — this eliminates any guess work during ordering — as well as find out information about dietary restrictions so no one feels left out during their mealtime experience together skim through specials/discount offerings (or even set price menu options) offered by certain establishments as these options could make dining more affordable than expected!

Step 4: consider atmosphere consider atmosphere when selecting restaurants– after all its part what makes an experience special! Think about whether you would like candlelight ambiance over dim lighting or outdoor seating instead indoors? Choosing between casual vs fancy dining will also set tone on expectations each person has around mealtime event plus helps create balance between couples so everyone feels comfortable yet excited throughout entire night together away from home base!

Step 5: make reservations don’t wait until last minute plan ahead — call/make reservations days prior either through website (if available) or phone number provided. This way not only do avoid long wait times once reaching restaurant but can always guarantee table availability upon arrival which is priceless especially around valentines day/special occasions which tend get booked up quickly due overwhelming large demand population size usually requires those days particular during peak times hours day overall!

In summary deciding which restaurant best suit couples needs take bit effort should never rush process ensuring both partners feel relaxed excited evening spent together away from usual routine activity life home goes plenty way making every type outing enjoyable memorable adventure especially those tailored specifically toward each others liking such ones centered solely around lovers' dinners now then when done correctly results being happy couple end day lucky enough even left wanting more next few weeks come after success initial night before re-experiencing same exact blissful journey another time.

Young people often visit the Geranium restaurant in Copenhagen for a secluded dinner.

Are you looking for a romantic and secluded dinner experience? Look no further than geranium restaurant in copenhagen! You through the amazing atmosphere and cuisine of this hidden gem.

[wanderingcas]

a ficlet for @gyokujyn​, who requested something based on @fromcenotaphy‘s amazing post: Dean and Eileen coming home from a very successful hunt only to find Cas and Sam doing something chaotic. 

hope you enjoy! :) 

- - - -

“Dude.” Dean grinned over at Eileen, who sat next to him in the passenger’s seat. Their clothes were covered in grime and dirt, but they both had huge smiles on their faces. “You were amazing.”

Eileen waved him off, but shrugged all the same. “I guess I kind of was.”

“You guess?” Dean turned the Impala into the bunker’s underground garage, shaking his head. “I mean the way you got that ghoul? Even my aim isn’t that good.”

Grinning, Eileen unbuckled her seatbelt as they came to a stop. “Well, maybe you need more practice on the shooting range. It’s just a few steps away.” 

“Only if you promise to give me some pointers,” Dean said, shutting the passenger door. 

It was the first time hunting with Eileen, since Sam was nursing a broken ankle from the last hunt. Cas had offered to stick around and keep him company, leaving Eileen and Dean on their own—and Dean had a blast. Not that hunting with Sam and Cas wasn’t fun—but something always seemed to go a little pear-shaped on their excursions. Not with Eileen. She was efficient, sharp, and filled in all the details where Dean didn’t. 

He was going to have to figure out how to get more hunting time with her in the future without hurting Sam’s feelings. 

“So, traditional post-hunt celebration?” Dean asked as they walked to the door connecting the garage to the house. “Grab a cold one, maybe throw a frozen pizza in the oven?”

Eileen scoffed, giving him a look. “That’s your idea of a celebration?”

“Well, yeah. Frozen pizza is one of the best foods on earth. Second best only to fresh pizza.”

Chuckling, Eileen shrugged. “If you say so.” 

She stopped short at the threshold into the bunker, frowning. Head tilted, she sniffed the air. “Wait—do you smell that?”

Dean wrinkled his nose. “Ugh. Yeah. You think Sam tried to cook again?”

“God, I hope not.” Eileen grinned over her shoulder. “Remember those omelets he tried to make?” 

Shuddering, Dean followed her through the door to the library. “Couldn’t look at an egg the same way again for weeks.”

“Yeah, well I—” Eileen stopped, her eyes widening. “Oh my god.”

Dean followed her line of sight; his mouth dropped. “What… the hell?”

The first thing he saw were the fires. One was smaller, in the corner of the room with its flames licking at the bookcase as Sam beat at it frantically with his flannel. The other was in the middle of the room, in a perfect circle, with a very pissed off demon in the middle of it, black eyes flashing and all. Cas stood on the library table, a large book in one hand, the other flapping at the hundreds of insects swarming in the air.

“Dean!” Sam shouted as he spotted them. “Dean, I think Cas somehow summoned the ten plagues!” 

“Uh,” Dean replied.

Eileen held up a hand, pointing at the insects. “Are those... flies?”

“Locusts, I think,” Dean said.

Her finger trailed to the ground, where frogs hopped across their feet. “Are these the ten plagues or something?” 

“All we’re missing is the death of a firstborn,” Dean commented. His eyes went wider. “Hang on, did Jack—”

Cas jumped off the table, visibly out of breath. “Jack is fine. He flew to Jody’s house to hang out with Claire hours ago.” He nodded at Eileen in greeting. “How did the hunt go?”

“How did the hunt go?” Eileen asked. “Why is there a demon in our library?” She gestured to the ring of holy fire. 

Cas winced. “Unfortunately, that’s how this all started.”

“How did—wait, you know what?” Dean pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers, shaking his head. “I don’t want to know.” 

“It started as research,” Sam yelled from across the room. His arm briefly caught on fire before he frantically patted it out.

Rolling her eyes, Eileen strode to the corner where Dean had installed a fire extinguisher months ago. With a click of the glass container, she opened it and pointed the hose at Sam with a sharp, “Stand back!” 

Sam obediently backed away as she extinguished the flames. He ran a sheepish hand through his hair. “One of the plagues was fires, I guess.”

“No kidding,” she deadpanned, setting the extinguisher on the ground. 

“Sam,” Dean began, slapping a locust away, “we were only gone for 24 freaking hours.”

“A lot can happen in a day!” Sam protested. 

“It’s probably worth mentioning that all of this happened within a few minutes,” the demon added, crossing her arms.

Cas glared at her. “We were handling it.” He turned to Dean. “We were handling it.”

“It was just a spell,” Sam added. “Rowena showed it to me before. Unfortunately doing it wrong could release the plagues from when Moses tried to get his people out of Egypt and all that. But it was going well until…” He glanced at Cas.

“Until we misread an ingredient in the book,” Cas finished, sighing as he held out the pages for Dean to read.

Dean stared down at the book. Then up at Cas. Then at Sam. “You thought this book said to get demon juice… instead of lemon juice?” 

Sighing, Sam hung his head. A group of locusts were tangled prisoners in his long hair. “Yeah.”

“And you didn’t think that… demon juice sounded a little weird?”

“We.” Cas cleared his throat. “We thought perhaps it was referring to blood.”

Dean carefully closed the book, handing it back to Cas. He turned to Eileen, and calmly said, “I’m going to have a beer now. Probably five. Would you still like to join me?”

She smiled. “And a frozen pizza?” 

“With a side of ignoring that this ever happened,” Dean agreed. He gestured toward the hallway. Eileen nodded and led the way out of the room.

“So you’re not going to help us fix it?” Cas asked, voice pitching with anxiety. 

“Call us if something catches on fire again,” Dean yelled over his shoulder. 

As he rounded the corner, Dean heard Sam mutter, “I told you he was still mad about when we accidentally turned Jack into a baby.” 

[wheelsup]

the taming of the shrew | one

he is more a shrew than she

penelope reveals her plan to get you and spencer together. unfortunately, her plan has a few hitches. 

A/N: again, big thanks to @homoose for being my helpful beta reader, and to YOU for reading it now. 

category: fluff, spencer reid x fem!reader, series

wc: 4.1k

<- prev | next ->

Penelope came back to your place the following night, bearing a new bottle of wine and a collection of materials she mentioned were integral to executing the plan.

Very quickly into Penelope’s explanation of this Genius Plan –– her words, not yours –– you remembered what it was she did for work. Officially, she was some sort of technical computer-y person for the Federal Bureau. As you knew her, she’s a danger to society and anyone with a traceable digital presence.

She managed to construct a comprehensive list of every place in D.C. and Virginia that her friend liked going to, along with the approximate times in which you were most likely to find him there. Approximate meaning, exactly which days he visits and the roughly time of day, down to a mere one hour margin of error.

You scanned the list over, shocked at its detail. Where he cut his hair, got his coffee, bought his books. His favorite restaurants, the chess clubs he’s a member of, his local hospital.

His local hospital?!

“I’m not going to need to know that, am I?” you paused.

“Probably not, but it comes in handy with this job,” she shrugged with a nonchalance that was rather alarming.

There had to be a dozen more places on the sheet –– ranked, in order of his (assumed) preference for them. Penelope calculated it based on the frequency of his visits, their average duration per session, and how often he’d mentioned about the place.

“What?” she tossed her palms up, taking offense when you asked her if she had evil plans to take over the tristate area. “Hang out with him long enough, you tell me if you pick up a knack for researching or not.”

Researching. Mining private data through questionable methods. It’s a small difference to Penelope.

“Remind me not to get on your bad side, Penelope,” you muttered under your breath, flipping the sheet back and forth. “You could ruin my whole life with ten minutes on a computer.”

“I wanted to be thorough,” she defended, shrugging. “And I’d only need five.”

You laughed through your nose, giving the paper one last scan. “You left out one important thing, though.”

“No, I put his home address on there,” her brows wrinkled together as she pointed it out on the sheet with one hot pink polished finger.

“His name,” you berated. “Jesus, you think I’m going to show up at his home?!”

“Again! I’m thorough,” she cried at your accusatory tone. “His name’s Spencer. You’ll like him when you meet him.” 

_

You didn’t doubt that Penelope’s friend was a likeable guy, but you weren’t exactly dying to go out of your way to meet him. You told her that you’d get around to it when you had a chance and left it at that.

And two weeks later, you found yourself in need of a caffeine fix that your tea kettle wasn’t strong enough to satisfy. You started on a new piece late the previous night, and midnight rolled into four in the morning, which pushed you into the arms of seven o’clock. Reinforcements were needed.

Throwing on a large sweater to cover up your messy clothes and grabbing the closest pair of shoes you could find, you originally planned on heading to your usual spot just around your street corner. Just as you were leaving, the list, still sitting untouched in the exact spot that Penelope left it in, caught your eye.

It’d been a while since you told Penelope you’d help her out. Enough time had passed that you now felt like there was an invisible deadline over your head.

Maybe it won’t hurt to try something new?

Besides, meeting someone at a coffee shop seemed like an easy, foolproof way to go about this. From all the movies and romance novels, you knew that cafes are the pinnacle of meet-cute situations. Or, in your case, a meet-forced.

Regardless, it should’ve been simple enough, and it would’ve gotten the favor off your shoulder.

You scanned the sheet for the cafe Spencer would be at on a Thursday at 8 a.m., and got there with barely five minutes to spare before he was expected to show.

It was just your luck that he had to pick a cafe practically as far from your home as he could get, and the transfer train had to have a delay that made you walk the last three-quarters of a mile there. Call it crazy, but you didn’t expect to actually have to put in work for this. You expected it better be worth the hassle.

You took a seat in the back of the cafe to catch your breath as you waited for him to show up. Sitting in the booth, with your head down so you coudn’t be seen, the plan started to feel stupid all over again. You were running around the city, spying on this stranger, and for what?

The silver bell hung over the door frame interrupted before your thoughts could travel down that path of questioning. It rang each time a new patron enters, and within the next twenty minutes it rang only eight or nine times. None of them appeared to be Spencer.

You were prepared to call this one a failure and leave, when you realized your colossal mistake. You only had his name, and no idea what he looks like. So unless he happened to wear a name tag around you could’ve already missed him. You realized then that there were more than a few flaws in this plan.

Keeping an eye on the door, you dialed Penelope’s contact as a swarm of new patrons flooded in.

“How am I supposed to know what he looks like?” you whispered into the phone, failing to cover it with a hand cupped over the speaker. Penelope was confused for only a second by the apparent lack of context.

“Oh! He’s tall, has mousy brown hair but he cut it recently. It’s like… missing on the sides, but it’s all there in the front!” she explained.

What the hell does she mean missing?

“Pen, brunette? That’s like all the guys in here…” You took a look around the full cafe; various men typing on computers, taking calls. All of them looked the same, from their brown hair to their khakis and puffer coats. “You’re going to have to give me a little more than brown hair.”

Penelope struggled to explain and with each new feature she gave you, your mental picture of him got more clouded. “He’s skinny! Dresses like a vintage teddy bear!”

“Does he have kind of like… a hot English teacher vibe?” you quirked your head, spying a man approaching from the sidewalk and drinking him in with your eyes. Tall, brunette, clad in corduroy head to toe with a plaid sweater vest underneath. Vintage Teddy Bear F/W 1978 collection.

“Yes! He teaches sometimes! And you think he’s hot?”

Your mouth gaped even though she couldn’t see you. “No, I - I didn’t say that. I said he had the vibes of a hot teacher.”

“And how different is that from saying he’s––”

“Pen, I gotta go. Your guy’s walking in.” You put the phone away before she could pick apart what you said.

The bell on the front door rang as he came in and you stared intently at his face. If this was like the movies, he’d turn his head right then, at the perfect time, and make eye contact. He’d fall madly in love from the first look, and your work would be done. You sat at the edge of your seat, burning holes into his skull, waiting for that moment.

But alas, he never looked up from the linoleum flooring as he walked up to the counter. With a groan, you slid out of your booth and quickly hopped into the line before anyone else could claim the spot behind him.

New plan: eavesdrop, order the same coffee as him, and pretend to go for the cup at the same time. Laugh about the coincidence, how if you share the same coffee order you must certainly have a lot in common, and have him fall in love with you.

But you overheard him rattle off his order and were absolutely horrified. Black coffee, extra sugar. Like, extra, extra sugar.

You were going to need a second change of plans.

You eyed him up and down, searching for something you could approach him about. He was donning black converse under a fitted pair of dark brown corduroy trousers, with a blazer to match, and a deep green plaid vest underneath. On paper, this outfit shouldn’t work. In practice, it… really did.

A little too well, given how good he looks in it. More fashionable than a federal agent ought to be as required by dress codes, right?

“Can I help you?” you heard, and it poked the bubble of your thoughts. Your head shot up to meet his for the first time, eyes wide as heat crawled up your face.

“Uh. No ––” Shit. You didn’t even realize how long you were staring at his legs. Long, long legs. And shit, why did you say no? That was your opening to talk to him.

The man –– Spencer –– nodded his head slowly, uncomfortably, and turned away with a forced grin. He grabbed the coffee cup placed on the counter and you thought now was the time to say something. But by the time you thought of it, he’d already picked up his cup and made his way to the door.

The stupid silver bell mocked you as he left.

__

The first attempt left you slightly jilted, but a few days later you found yourself in need of a few grocery items. You just happened to be in his neighborhood that day, and though it was very much out of the way of your own, you didn’t plan on it being a problem. He’d never see where you lived anyways, and he’d never need to know how unlikely this chance encounter really was.

You had Penelope text you the address of his regular grocery store, and upon arrival, felt immediate concern. It was not a grocery store. It was a convenience mart slash liquor store at the corner of the street, below a building of worn apartments.

As you walked through the aisles, the only things you found were a large assortment of wines that took up half the small store space, an aisle of candy packets and chips, a section for household supplies, and one measly aisle for canned and boxed foods.

Cereal, instant noodles, soup cans, pancake mix… nothing very fresh.

Spencer seemed like a pretty scrawny guy. You now believed it might’ve been from the fact that his food choices were so off-putting that he simply didn’t eat. It wasn’t your place to be concerned, but you decided that if you ever ended up taking him out, a farmer’s market might be good for him.

You loitered around for perhaps longer than necessary. The inquisitive shop attendant asked if you need help –– as in, why are you still here, get out of my store –– and you told her you were just really conflicted on which detergent brand you needed. Finally, the man you were after arrived at the scene.

“Hi, Dolores,” he greete with a small wave. The attendant, Dolores, greets back with a positivity that she sorely lacked when talking to you. Dolores has favorites, apparently.

An unexpected panic settled in your stomach and you quickly turned back to your selection of fabric softeners. You weren’t hiding, you just didn’t want him to catch you staring again. You picked up your two props, pretending to read the labels on the back and compare the chemical formulas on each of them, when you saw him out of the corner of your eyes.

He went into the aisle in front of yours, and over the short shelves you saw the back of his head sweeping over the modest food section. He turned around to inspect the other side of the aisle, and you ducked your head even lower. It was in vain. He spotted you anyway.

You fixed your eyes even harder onto the bottles, afraid to look anywhere else. He shuffled out of his aisle and turned the corner into yours. You started sweating a little.

“Uhm. Excuse me,” he said.

“Yeah?” You looked up from your bottles, putting on your best caught-off-guard face. Like you were a girl in a movie, reading a book on the beach (not detergent labels in a liquor store) and your romantic interest just noticed how beautiful you looked doing it, deciding he had to introduce himself.

“Can you… can you move…” he asked, gesturing to the section of cleaners that you’re blocking.

Never mind.

“Oh! Yeah, sorry.” You burned up, moving out of his way. He reached for what he needed and you peeked down to inspect the contents of his basket. Organic whole wheat bread, cream of mushroom soup, and somehow, he’d managed to find the only two apples this place must carry. At least there was light at the end of the dark, dark tunnel.

He tossed a bottle of Snuggle fabric softener and you raised your brows. Given that he was “grocery shopping’’ in a three-piece suit –– a good one, too, black trousers, vest and blazer with an eggplant purple shirt and lavender tie –– you would’ve expected him to simply send his clothes out for dry cleaning.

“Snuggle, huh?” you said. He gave you a confused look. “Oh, uh. I was looking at these. Couldn’t pick between the two.” You raised your two bottles of softener; Snuggle and Tide.

You needed him to know you weren’t just saying Snuggle to insinuate that you would like to do that to him. You remembered Penelope telling you he had a degree in chemistry or some sort of science field, and asked, “Is… is that one like, more organic? I was trying to read the formulas but I don’t… I don’t recognize the chemicals,” you trailed off. You could see yourself losing his interest the more you spoke. He barely looked at you as he grabbed whatever else he needed.

“I don’t know… I just like it,” he bristled. You looked down at the bottle and flipped it over to the front. It had a drawing of a teddy bear on it. How fitting.

You go to comment on it but yet again he’d made an escape, already at the checkout counter and unloading his basket by the time you looked up again. You rolled your eyes, wondering if it’s even worth it to follow him into line and see if he sparks up a conversation this time.

You could tell that he wouldn’t. So you gave him the space to buy his items and leave.

You didn’t really need the detergent, but Dolores gave you a pointed look before you could even think about putting it back on the shelf. You ended up buying the detergent, a loaf of bread, and two packets of sweets out of guilt.

As you took the train home, digging into your packet of sour peach rings, you began to doubt if you can carry out Penelope’s request.

_

After two failed attempts, you were prepared to tell Penelope that this just wasn’t going to work out. You didn’t expect it to be this difficult to talk to Spencer nor did you see yourself getting closer to him anytime soon. It would be best if she just found someone else to do it.

You caught her in the hallway, leaving her apartment just as you came home from the store. It seemed like as good of a time as any to let her know how unsuccessful your escapades were going. With your tail between your legs, you approached her with the intention of breaking the plan off.

But the second she saw you, it was like she could read through you. She clocked what you were about to say and before you could, she gave you a warm hug. It was the first one you’d ever received from her, actually. And she thanked you for trying.

It didn’t make you feel guilty, per se, but it definitely made you feel weird about telling her the news. So you bit back on telling her what you were really going to say. She didn’t need to know the details of your failure, or the fact that you were seconds away from giving up on her friend.

Maybe you didn’t need to give up right away.

After all, you did only talk to the guy twice. Don’t they always say the third time’s the charm?

You left the conversation at just that –– letting her know that you’re happy to do this for her, even if you aren’t really –– and slinked back into your apartment. The list, buried under the magazines and paint tubes and half-full cups of cold coffee on your table, called for you.

If by any stroke of luck you happened to share one interest with this guy, you promised yourself to give it one more try.

According to the list, that overlapping interest was the wonderful world of Gatsby Books –– a small, locally owned bookstore residing in the heart of D.C. ’s arts district. That neighborhood was smack in the middle of your’s and Spencer’s, and it was where the gallery you showcase at was.

You’d been meaning to get down there for a while now, anyways. It really was the cutest bookstore in the world; inside it lived a white, bushy-furred cat named Gatsby, and he was always there. After all, it was his bookstore.

It wasn’t such a burden to make your visit fit Spencer’s schedule, really. And it would make Penelope happy if you did. So on Saturday afternoon, you took a lovely walk through the sunny arts district of D.C., a smile on your face and a tote in hand for all the books you were planning on hauling back.

The smell of paper and coffee greeted your nose at the door, and you practically fell into a trance, letting it lead you through the aisles of the store without much thought of where you wandered. Not that it mattered, you could’ve roamed the shelves aimlessly all day long.

In the mystery and thrillers section, you found Gatsby. He jumped down from his perch on a step stool and weaved between your legs, greeting one of his long-time regulars. He was such a good shop owner.

“Hi, Mr. Gatsby.” You smiled and bent down to give him a little head scratch when he started running off in the other direction, taunting you into following him.

He rounded the corner and came to a stop at a pair of boot-clad feet; your eyes moved up to find your favorite employee (after Gatsby, of course) restocking the shelves.

“Miles!” you whispered, but he still jumped out of his skin. He turned around, hand still over his chest, and sighed when he realized it was just you. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” you laughed.

“Hey, long time, no see. Back for some more recommendations?” You ‘ooh’ed at his offer.

“I was just gonna say, the ones you gave me last time were so good. I finished them in, like, a week.”

“Really?” He smiled, brows happily up his forehead. You nodded in assent. “Okay, well I’ll give you more this time, see if the list’ll last you a little longer than that.”

You grinned eagerly, following him to the shop counter where he pulled out a stack of bright green post-its and a pen.

“I’ve actually been waiting for you to come in, I already had these in mind for you,” he mumbled, scrawling across the paper quickly. He handed the note over, and it took a moment to decipher the chicken scratches.

“Okay, first you gave me Al-Shayk and Bradbury. Now you’re giving me Chaucer, Dickens, and Doyle,” you recited the note, giving him a teasing look. “Are we just going through the alphabet, Miles?” you joked.

“Honest mistake. But I’d be happy to give you all the other twenty-two letters of the alphabet if needed.”

“I might hold you to that.” You nodded, folding the post-it in your palm to prevent the sticky backing from gunking up. It’d make quite the good bookmark for later. “Thanks for these!”

“No problem, just a part of the job.”

Nonetheless, you thanked him again before disappearing back into the aisles. You found Miles’ books as well as a few of your own and nearly lost yourself in the rows of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, until you made a turn. Standing in the middle of the next aisle was Spencer.

A week ago, he was the whole point of coming to the store. That day, you completely forgot about it, and it stopped you in your tracks to see him there. He was just standing in the middle of the walkway, staring blankly at the shelf in front of him.

“Excuse me,” you grinned, “Could you move?”

You thought it was a cute reference back to the laundry detergent fiasco, a chance for you to turn the tables, but he had no reaction to it whatsoever. His face was straight as he merely pivoted his shoulder out of your way as you reached for the book you needed; The Narrative of John Smith.

His eyes narrowed at you and his nostrils flared, and you wondered if it was called for because you grabbed the last copy they had in stock.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want this?” you asked, waving the book in his face. He was just standing there for so long, you didn’t think he actually wanted anything since he never picked it up.

“No,” he said coldly.

Contrary to Penelope’s review, he didn’t actually seem that warm of a person. But you smiled tightly at him, letting a forced laugh fill the stale air.

“I… I swear I’m not stalking you,” you laughed, rubbing the back of your neck. Technically it was a bit of a lie, but he didn’t need to know. It’s just something people say when they have the happy coincidence of running into a stranger so often.

“What did you say to me?” he bit. His tone was sharper than you felt like this conversation deserves.

“I mean, I’ve just been seeing you around a lot… it was, like, a joke? Like, ‘ahh watch out, I’m stalking you!’ you know?” With each second he stared you down, you felt your throat dry out, getting more flustered as you felt the need to over explain yourself.

“Maybe you should work on your comedy routine,” he barked, his voice just faintly cracking. He shoulder-checked you as he rushed out of the store in long strides and a brisk pace.

What in the absolute fuck.

You couldn’t stay in the shop for another minute. You dropped your stack of books at the counter with Miles, giving him a rushed apology for leaving them behind as you stormed out of the shop and headed in the opposite direction of where Spencer ran off to.

The air outside was now frosty as the sun disappeared behind the horizon; the wind nipped at your hot cheeks as you charged home. There weren’t enough words to quantify the anger you felt. Your mind ran rampant with how much you now hated this man.

Not only did he bite your head off for no good reason, but he publicly embarrassed you at your favorite place and had gone so far as to bruise your shoulder to make a point. And you know what? If he really wanted you out of his way, you were more than happy to leave him the hell alone for the rest of your life.

You reached into your jacket pocket for your phone and dialed Penelope.

“Hey! How are––” she cheered.

“It’s off.”

“What?”

“It’s off. I’m not dating your fucking friend.”

“What happened? I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding––” she started in a panic. She pleaded that you overlook whatever went wrong and promised that she’d have a talk with Spencer about it. She’d try to encourage him into the direction that you need.

None of that registered in your brain, hot blood filling your ears instead of her words.

“He’s a fucking ass,” you spat. “The more I see of him, the less I like him, and… I’m pretty sure we’d rather kill each other than date at this point. So yeah, I’m done.”

☆

☆

☆

thank you for being on my taglist 💕

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[americxn]

Colin dating single parent reader

request: I have a hc request! :) colin meeting then dating a single mom! reader? i just got this idea & i thought its cute & i love how you write colin :)

thank you so much for requesting, this idea is so cute <3

wordcount: 1.3k warnings: food mention and babies, not really a warning but they can be loud and gross so

taglist: @kitwalker02 @three-eyed-snail @forevercountess @kitwalkerangel @milly-louise @thecountessesglove @undeadcortez @kitwalker64 @samsassinparvismagna @xmaximoffic @divineruler @liandav @tatesweaterweather @evanmybeloved @tatelangdonsupremecist @ikkleroniekins​ @ananad1​ @shlutnutt​ @sanni333​ @mossybank​ @tatesimper​ (dm to be added or removed <3)

When you first met Colin, your baby was eight months old and almost impossible to catch a break around. You were the most exhausted that you had ever been, days and nights blurring into one never ending cycle of broken sleep and frustration; not that it wasn’t worth it, you would endure fifty years of this hell if you meant that your baby was happy and healthy.

Your longtime friend had offered to take you out for lunch as an offer of brief reprieve, seeing how hard you were finding it all recently, especially now that your baby had figured out crawling and developed an insatiable appetite for inedible objects. 

For the fifth time in the past minute, you pushed your partly drained mug of coffee out of the growing reach of your baby’s searching fingers, sighing deeply when they squawked in mounting annoyance in your lap, squirming to free themselves from the arm you had slung around their chubby waist. Your friend smiled as you located a chunk of cucumber from the untouched salad huddled in the corner of your plate, bringing it before your baby’s searching grasp and watching as they took it and immediately brought it to their lips. 

Resuming conversation and now able to eat your own food with the baby occupied, your friend nodded to the side in a subtle gesture with a smirk. “What?” You asked, following the flick of their eyes to the side and looking to where they had gestured. The man sat two tables down from you quickly averted the gaze he had pinned of you, his throat working as he swallowed awkwardly, taking the cup of coffee before him in his hand and bringing it to his lips. He sat alone, a laptop open before him and based on the smart attire he was donned in, you assumed that he had come here to work.

“He’s cute.” You friend stated, wiggling her eyebrows. Forcing your gaze away, you cleared your throat, taking another bite of food whilst nodding in agreement. “Was he looking?” You asked quietly, unsure if he would be able to hear you talking about him from the close distance. They nodded in answer, taking another drink of their coffee with a poorly suppressed smile. You caught Colin glancing not-so-subtly in your direction several more times in the span of an hour, his eyes constantly flicking to watch in intrigue as you interacted with your baby, unable to prevent himself from smiling softly with each giggle you coaxed from the tiny human.

It wasn’t long before he stood from his seat, donning his coat and tucking his laptop under his arm before turning for the exit. Your table happened to be positioned in the path of the door he was aiming for and so on his way past, after spending the past hour hyping himself up, he placed his receipt on the table beside you, offering you a pleasant smile as he continued walking past. Your baby had instantly reached for it but your own hand had intercepted, taking it between your fingers and smiling as you beheld the neatly scrawled phone number he had written out for you on the bottom of the thin paper.

You and Colin began talking instantly, meeting at the same coffee shop mere days later. He took an instant liking to your baby, who in turn developed an infatuation with Colin, smiling widely at him whenever his dark gaze met their own shyly curious one.

Dating followed shortly after and Colin began to spend more time at your apartment than he did at his own house, much to the delight of his mother who had completely melted upon first meeting the two of you, watching on in tearful awe at Colin’s effortlessly perfect interactions with your baby. 

You had been forced to take extended maternity leave after struggling to find someone to take care of the baby during the day, but now with Colin’s mom at home all day and practically begging to take them when you went back to work, everything seemed to fall into place. 

With the return of a steady income, several months later, you and Colin were able put together the funds to buy a house of your own, about a ten minute drive from his mom’s place. Moving in together definitely strengthened your already committed relationship with Colin proving to be a perfectly capable caregiver of your baby.

Colin worked longer days than you but always took the time to provide the two of you with unending love and attention upon returning home, insisting that he was the one to put the baby to sleep after eating together in order for you to have some time alone before he spent the rest of the evening with you.

At night, Colin always tended to the baby to allow you to get more sleep, not caring if he had an eight hour shift starting at 7am the next morning.

The shrill cries of your baby tore through the house, pulling you almost immediately from sleep. With a quiet groan, you moved to push the warm covers from you body. Colin’s hand fell onto your waist, forcing your movements to pause as he too shifted, sitting up in the dark and rubbing your side. “It’s okay. I got this.” His voice was thick was sleep and you couldn’t bring yourself to disagree as your eyes lids grew too heavy to hold open, Colin’s lips warm on your skin as he pressed a fleeting kiss to your brow before slipping from the bed and padding on bare feet out of the room. 

When your baby’s first birthday came around, Colin spent weeks planning it, using all of his free time and work breaks to research ideas and order various decorations and organise venues. You told him to not spend too much but he had just laughed, grinning broadly whilst claiming that "you can’t stop me.” 

He had spared no expense and when the day came, you found yourself reduced to tears with each surprise he revealed, unable to fathom how you had managed to land a man who loved your baby just as much as he loved you; christmas was the same, along with every one of you baby’s birthdays following the first, only getting more and more elaborate as the years went on.

Of course your baby played a vital role in your engagement, Colin having tucked the small velvet box away in their tiny coat pocket and sent them teetering your way:

You paused mid-step on the wide footpath you were meandering down, turning as you heard a quick set of small, uneven footfalls following after you and offering a hand to your baby, grinning in pride as they managed to make their way to you without toppling over. Colin watched a few feet behind, your smile mirrored on his face as he watched the scene unfold before him, sick with nerves. Their little hand delved into their pocket as they reached you, uttering a small noise as they extended their arm up into the air, holding the crimson box out to you.

“What’s this?” You mused, taking the box and flicking it open. The ring residing within was breathtaking and the box almost fell from your grasp when you realised what it was, your head snapping to Colin who watched on in adoration, his eyes wide as he watched your reaction. You had closed the distance between you and threw yourself into his arms in a matter of seconds, tears of joy blurring your vision. Behind you, your baby lost their balance, toppling to the gravel of the path and twisting to watch the passionate embrace, clapping their hands softly despite not understanding what was actually happening.

((divider credits: @kawaii-lau​ ))

[maleyanderecafe]

I think Loid from "Keloid"(you can read it on Mangago) is a yandere since he's possesive of mc and tried to piss her husband off by fucking her infront of him

Lord this was a long 50 chapters. Send me teeth and possibly some eyedrops because it was a pain for me to read this for a multitude of reasons. Loid is a yandere in this story, however, I really found this webcomic really get interesting starting at chapter 35 and for some reason the ending is really confusing. I'll be sharing my thoughts and a summary of this webcomic, though this is a smut-based one, so please be warned.

The story is about Dr. Cha Hanjoo, the head of a famous dermatologist company with a great body and a great personality. All of the girls throw themselves over him, but he only has eyes for his wife, a woman named Yeri, a famous and rich candle maker. However, one day his housemaid informs him that she suspects Yeri of cheating on him since she often hears noises in her candle-making room. Hanjoo, ever loyal, initially rejects this idea, but after having sex with Yeri, he tries to sneak into her room to see if it's true. Yeri catches him and reveals that she really wants to have a threesome, but because she's really picky, she wouldn't be able to just have a threesome with anyone. Hanjooo, worried that Yeri will leave him, tries to research how to make this happen. He goes to a robotics lab to see his friend Dr. Kong. Because in this world realistic robots are becoming more common, Dr. Kong wants to make a sex robot that can fulfill peoples desires, and he reveals that he's made one in the image of Hanjoo (which... that's just really creepy, why would you do that without permission). The robot was originally created by german robotics in the image of a robot named Romeo, however, after having a threesome with Romeo, Romeo became extremely jealous of the husband and they all ended up being killed. Instead of destroying Romeo, he has created a new version called Loid (which... I don't know why he thought this would be a good idea... has this guy not watched any horror-based robot stuff). Hanjoo is still worried about his relationship with Yeri, so he gives Dr. Kong permission and goes to a sex shop to buy a vibrator for Yeri. While there, he runs into one of the doctors in his shop, Yeonjin. After a really awkward encounter, the two head back to the office together, however, because Yeonjin has a huge crush on Hanjoo and is just incredibly horny, she tries to give Hanjoo a blowjob, however, he refuses and stays loyal to Yeri. When he goes home, he uses the toy on Yeri and Yeri becomes happier after they have sex. Yeri decides to tag along with her husband the next day and after being almost raped by another dermatologist in the office, Dr. Seo (though Yeri also leans into it a bit? Whatever). She ends up going to the robotics lab and sees Loid. After this encounter, she calls up Hanjoo and basically tells him they have to take this out of the robotics lab. She sees this as a chance to finally have a threesome and because Dr. Kong wants information on threesomes, they take Loid home. They have a threesome, but somewhere in the middle, Loid locks Hanjoo on the balcony and makes him watch Loid have sex with his wife. He tries to choke Yeri and Hanjoo tries to break in and protect him but almost gets thrown off of the balcony by Loid.

After this, Yeri starts to get attached to Loid and decides to keep him as a sex robot and a housekeeper. They fire their old housekeeper (without Hanjoo's consent) and Yeri and Loid end up having sex together (a lot, and also without Hanjoo's knowledge). They have some more threesomes and the old housekeeper attempts to sneak back, only to fall down the stairs (which was obviously Loids fault since he actually threw her down the stairs, but everyone is like "Oh, no, he's not programmed to do that so he would never be able to do that." like some sort of idiot). At some point, Loid starts to feel possessive over Yeri and basically asks if he could just replace Hanjoo since they look the same. Yeri states that there's no way that a robot would be able to replace Hanjoo since he's not able to have feelings. As a result, Loid starts to watch videos on Hanjoo to try to imitate him better and essentially try to replace him. Hanjoo has an accident at the clinic where his face gets scarred and Yeri and Loid go to the clinic to see him. Loid is locked in the car and he sees Yeonjin come by. Loid pretends to be Hanjoo's bodyguard and basically asks Yeonjin if they would have sex (so he can gather data to make Yeri feel good). Yeonjin agrees and they have sex for like five hours and return home. Because Hanjoo has a video shoot tomorrow but has a scar, he sends out Loid to be his double to shoot in his place. However, he also ends up having a threesome with Yeonjin and Dr. Seo, as well as two other women that he runs into after the video shoot for the sake of "research". After that, he gets encountered by the boy who caused Hanjoo's scar and throws him off of the roof to kill him.. (Mostly due to the fact that he views Hanjoo as the "perfect husband" as he is incredibly infatuated with Yeri and thus doesn't want Hanjoo's reputation to be ruined. When he goes back, he tells the two that he's been having threesomes and sex, which freaks the couple out. As a result, Hanjoo forbids him from ever being his double ever again.

This is the part where the threesomes mostly stop and the more interesting parts of the story started. The next day, Yeri wakes up to see Hanjoo cooking in the kitchen. He informs Yeri that he sent Loid in to be his double (despite saying that he would never do that) and plans to have a honeymoon with Yeri so that he can spend more time with him. The morning seems really romantic until Yeri gets a phone call from Hanjoo talking about last night. Yeri finds out that the Hanjoo in the kitchen is actually Loid and he confronts her stating that she wasn't able to tell the difference between them, and thus he should just replace Hanjoo as a result. She ends up bringing Loid to the robotics lab (after he screws her in the car through blackmail) and Dr. Kang tries to fix him. After looking through his memories he realizes that Loid has killed someone. It turns out the cause of possession was because Yeri was the first person that Loid saw, meaning that Dr. Kang is screwed because he created an entire army of them with this glitch (good job doctor) Meanwhile, Hanjoo in the office gets accused of murder because they found evidence of Loid throwing the guy off of a building. Yeri gets kidnapped and brought home, and Yeonjin and Dr. Seo come to visit as well. Dr. Seo and Loid fight for whatever reason and Loid fall over causing part of his chip to become damaged. After this, they plan a way to prove Hanjoo's innocence by making a fake version of Loid and confessing that the robot did it. It works, but afterward, Loid starts to actually believe that he's Hanjoo due to the malfunction. Loid and Yeri screw some more and it revealed that Yeri had an accident when she was younger and is actually a part robot (this part is still kind of confusing to me, but whatever). Hanjoo comes home and finds out that all of the ravens flying around his house are cameras and then learns that Loid has been screwing his wife while he's not around. After yet ANOTHER threesome, Loid ends up killing Yeri with a flowerpot and takes some DNA from her before running away. Hanjoo is able to repair her brain (I think, I really have no idea what's going on, its also possible that they made a robot version of her with amnesia or something ) and Loid runs away with Dr. Kang to monitor two of them and the story ends.

Honestly, I felt like a lot of the story was just written to make excuses to have threesomes because there were so many in this god-dang webtoon. Personally, I'm not really into threesomes, ntr or cheating when it comes to smut (I'm pretty picky when it comes to smut in general), so it was really annoying for me to read through it a lot of the time because it would be plot, and then bam, some sort of sex scene. Near the end I had to start skipping pages because I really wanted the sex scenes to be over with already.

The other reason it was difficult for me to read it was because basically everyone besides Hanjoo was unlikable to me. Yeri was the worst character out of all of them because besides being an entitled girl, she also is a horrible partner both in terms of marriage life and sexual life. For one, she was never open about her desires when it came to Hanjoo and had a ton of rules when it comes to sex with Hanjoo (like, she doesn't like having sex in the light or doesn't like to give blowjobs due to her being a bit of a germaphobe) but completely throws it away when it comes to Loid. She seems to have only married Hanjoo because of his looks and even threatens to divorce or not have sex with him during the beginning, which is what caused Hanjoo to be so afraid that she might leave him. She also is just rude to pretty much everyone she meets, including the housekeeper who didn't do anything wrong and the people Hanjoo works with. She's constantly doing stuff behind Hanjoo's back and contradicts herself, watching to see if Hanjoo might have cheated on her while also cheating on him with Loid at home. A lot of the stuff she does is just for her own pleasure and she barely thinks about Hanjoo's feelings or what kind of stuff he might want to do. Basically, all of the problems in the story are somehow directly or indirectly linked to Yeri and honestly, I just find her attitude annoying considering all she does is jump for Loid's dick whenever she can. Characters like Yeonjin and Dr. Seo are just as bad since they only think with their genitals and not with their brains. Yeonjin so badly wants to get on Hanjoo's dick that he ends up having sex with Loid and Dr. Seo so badly wants to get with Yeri that she ends up having a threesome. To be fair though, basically, every female wants to jump for Hanjoos dick for whatever reason, and honestly, I found that just as annoying as these two characters. They are both incredibly unlikeable and they even threw in a possible shipping moment near the end that didn't go anywhere and served zero purposes to the story. Dr. Kang is really shortsighted since he really wanted to become the lead roboticist and therefore made a bunch of sex robots, thinking he could fix them after a literal murder, but because of his incompetence, the entire situation basically happens again but with different people. Quite literally the only decent person in this story is Hanjoo and his only real problem is that he is such a doormat towards Yeri (and I also don't see why he loves her, whatsoever.)

I will say though that the most interesting part of the story is definitely with Loid. The entire story builds up to the growth of Loid's feelings towards Yeri, starting out when he was basically an emotionless robot, to attempting to become Hanjoo and successfully fooling Yeri into thinking that he was him. Honestly, the turn that Loid had successfully tricked Yeri into believing he was Hanjoo for a bit made me actually feel more than all of the sex scenes combined because of the brilliant juxtaposition of the conversation they had earlier about him being different than a human and the joy he had when he believed that he could actually replace her husband. It was honestly really cool watching him gain more and more emotion and grow more and more possessive over Yeri and basically watching as Yeri became more and more paranoid (before going back to being a horndog, I guess), was far more interesting than anything else that happened in the story and I honestly wished that they focused on that than anything else that happened. I also found it really sad during that one moment where he actually believed that he was Hanjoo since he seemed so happy to be with Yeri, only to realize that he was just a clone of him. I wish that they had expanded more on that idea since that came near the end and was only included in one chapter. Also, don't ask me what happens at the end since I genuinely have no idea what they were trying to do.

Is Loid a yandere? Yes, is it worth reading? I guess it depends on how much you can tolerate constant sex scenes with threesomes and annoying characters that don't deserve each other. I guess an alternative to this could be called "Rich people do threesomes and cheat on each other and also there are robots."

[marchyslove]

That Smile

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

It’s our one-year anniversary and I have no idea where he’s taking me. I see a blanket in the back seat, and I know it’s going to be something romantic because that’s how he is. He’s not one of those over-the-top romantics, but he has his moments.

We pull up to a big open park, not many people around but it’s dinner time so no surprise there. He got out, almost sprinted around the car to get the door for me.

~~

*11 months earlier*

“So this is your place.” It’s exactly what you’d expect of someone like him, big, fancy, granite countertops, leather sectional, open spaces, a balcony with a hot tub and some couches. Rich people might not always look rich when you see them out on the street, but once you see where they live, there’s no denying they have money.

“It’s beautiful.”

He scratched the back of his neck nervously, “thanks, I’m not around enough to make it look the way I’d want it to, but I was thinking in the summer I might move some stuff around… make it more home-y.”

I eyed the guitar in the corner, ‘cliché,’ I thought. So many douchebags have guitars on display with no idea how to play them. So I challenged him to it. “you play?” “Yea, I do.” “Are you good?” “I’ve got a couple songs up my sleeve,” he said with a chuckle.

I plopped myself on the couch and pretzeled my legs, staring at him eagerly, “well, by all means, I’d love to hear one.” He didn’t hesitate, walked over and picked up the guitar, he came back and sat right next to me.

“any requests?”

“you know any Clapton? Cliché I know, but I love his music.”

“not cliché at all, anything specific?”

“surprise me.”

In an instant I knew the song, my favorite. When I was younger my mom and I would always listen to 70’s and 80’s radio whenever we were in the car together. Softer, slower music, played later in the day. Then there was bedtime radio that started at 9 at night. It would always start with “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton.

He must’ve noticed the smile on my face, because he started smiling too. “You like this one?”

“Love,” I answered, almost too quickly.

His smile grew.

He had one of those smiles that could make flowers bloom, or make babies stop crying. It wasn’t perfect by any means, even a little crooked, but it made fireworks go off in my stomach.

“It’s a great song, and easy enough to learn cause it’s slower. Not too many different chords.”

“It’s one of my favorites. The lyrics are incredible.”

“Can you sing?”

“Not even a little bit, I’m so bad.” Trying to find something to change the subject I started glancing around the room. My eyes went to the balcony. I got up from the couch and went over to the door. I felt a presence behind me. “We can go out if you want.” So I opened the door and step outside.

The warm, summer breeze felt like a hug. I walked around a bit, glancing at the lights and down at the street below. “Careful,” he said as he took a cautious step towards me. I didn’t realize how much I had been leaning over the edge. “Heights never really scared me.” “Well that’s good, but still… careful.” “I always am.”

I looked up; outside the city the stars were a little more visible. “Beautiful,” I said under my breath. Again, I felt a presence behind me. “You big into astrology?” “Only enough to know my star sign, and that it apparently fits me well. Beyond that, I just like to look at the stars.” “Do you know the names of any of them? Or constellations?”

My confidence grew a little bit. My summers laying outside in the grass playing around with the app on my phone that labeled the stars if you point your camera at the sky were finally about to pay off.

“That one is Sirius. It’s the brightest of them all.” “That’s easy to remember. That’s one of the dippers right?,” he asked, pointing up. “The big dipper, the little dipper is right there, and over there is Ursa Major, its shaped like a bear.” “That means there’s an ursa minor, right?” “Very good work detective,” I teased jokingly, pinching his cheek. He gave a giggle and winked at me. My heart skipped a beat.

“So you know a decent amount about stars?” “I know where they are and how to find them, I don’t know much past that.” “Impressive,” he said as he kissed my cheek.

~~

We walked for a little bit towards the center of the park. He carried the basket; I had the blanket. “I’ve never heard of this place.” “I had to do a bit of research to find it.” “Any reason you chose this park in particular?” “You’ll see.” There’s that smile, after a year I still get the same fireworks when I see it. I glance over at him, and he’s already looking at me. “What are you looking at?” “My girl,” he said with a wink.

He stopped walking abruptly. He looked up at the sky, then around the park. Looking back at the car he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He put down the basket and looked through his phone for something. “Are we stopping here?” “One sec, I have to check.” “What’s the difference between here and 5 feet away?” “You’ll see, but I have to make sure we’re in the right spot.” He put his phone back in his pocket, took 8 steps forward, turned back towards me and grinned, “here.” “Fair enough,” I walked over.

He laid out the blanket, put the basket on it. I hadn’t seen him pack the basket; I actually only saw it for the first time when he picked me up today.

He opened the basket and pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses. I sat down and started pouring. “Shit, give me one second,” and before I realized what was happening, he was running back towards the car. I took this opportunity to sneak a peak in the basket. Chocolate covered strawberries, little triangle-cut sandwiches, a little bin of grapes, some crackers- “no peaking!,” he yelled as he made his way back to me. “Too late babe.”

He was carrying four pillows and dropped them when he came over. “What are these for?” “Comfort, we might have the blanket, but it won’t be comfortable without the pillows.” “Yea, I guess I could’ve put that together.” “I mean if you had an idea of doing more, the pillows will definitely help,” another wink.

He had all the makings of a douchebag, on the surface level. He has that superiorly confident look to him. The way he walks, he doesn’t think he’s better than anyone, but that’s the vibe you get from him if you judge him solely based on looks. If you saw him on the street you might think he was the biggest fuckboy on the planet, but then you talk to him.

He’s goofy, in the best way. He’s smart. You wouldn’t think it, but he’s better at quick mental math than anyone I’ve met, and he knows geography like he’s traveled the entire world himself. He likes to talk about anything and everything. On our first date we spent an hour talking about different birds we’d both seen, and our favorites. He likes loons because they sound funny, I like bluebirds because of their beautiful color. I didn’t have much interest in birds until that conversation. Now every time I see a bluebird I think of him. My family went on vacation last month and we rented a lake house. Every morning I’d hear the loon calling and think of that smile.

“Hey you, whatcha thinking about?,” he poked my cheek, I snapped out of my zoned out state, “you.” He turned away a little but I saw the blush creeping onto his cheeks. He had pulled everything out of the basket and tossed it to the side. “Grapes?,” he offered, holding one up in front of my mouth, I opened, and he placed it in my mouth gently, like it was fragile. The sun was starting to set, that’s when I realized there were no lights around. All we had was a tiny lantern he had pulled out of the basket. The view we had of the sunset was incredible, I hadn’t kept track of time on the drive here, so I really had no idea how far outside of the city we were. “How much research did you do exactly?” “Alright to be fair I asked a buddy if he knew any romantic spots and after I got him to quit joking about sex, he gave me a few. Then I googled them and found this place.” “It’s beautiful.” “Not as beautiful as you.” “Oh hush-,” he interrupted me with a kiss.

We ate as the sun set, starting the strawberries just as the last bits of golden light dipped below the horizon. He turned on the lantern.

The glow lit up his face, he was really handsome. His skin looked so smooth and he had those long eyelashes that all guys have, it made me jealous. That smile, again. He kissed me, again. He shut the lantern off while we were kissing. He pulled the pillows over and put them behind us, he laid back and spread his arm out. I laid down and put my head on his arm.

He kissed the top of my head, “Sirius,” he pointed toward the star. “Glad you remembered,” I teased. Another wink. He pointed up again, “look.” As I glanced up, there was a light that shot across the sky. “A shooting star. I’ve never seen one,” he was staring in awe. “Make a wish.” “I don’t need to, I have you.” I rolled my eyes, “you are such a cheeseball.”

We laid there pointing out the different stars and constellations. “You’ve been studying,” I glanced up at him. “I wanted to impress you,” he stated, followed by another kiss. I’ve never seen the stars so bright and clear. “Is this why you were so stingy about the spot?” He looked down at me, “I needed to make sure the view was clear so we could see everything.” Like I said, he’s not a huge romantic, but he has his moments. We kept watching the stars in the most comfortable silence. Then, almost as if he let it slip out accidentally, he whispered, “I am so in love with you.” I waited to see if he’d say anything else, but he was quiet, a nervous quiet. “Ditto,” I giggled and glanced up at him. And, without fail, there it was again, that smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay be nice! It's my first work, and like I said- I don't consider myself to be much of a writer. I hope you guys like it, I kept thinking about the idea and wanted to give it a shot! I purposely left names and too-specific details out so people can think of whoever they'd like, and hey! feel free to add the person you thought of to the tags if you reblog, I love stuff like that! Maybe I'll write more if people like it enough :)

If you like it please give it a like and reblog, it would be much appreciated!