#But if you haven’t I really recommend it

[monstersflashlight]

Advent calendar: Day 17. Carrots

A/N: Kinda related, kinda not, but you should watch “Hot Frosty” on Netflix if you haven’t, totally recommend it (it’s very ridiculous in the best way possible). Sorry for all the awful dialogue you are about

Snowman x fem!reader || questionable use of vegetables, temperature play (kinda), mentioned overstimulation

When your witch friend asked you to build a snowman with her, you thought nothing of it. It would be fun, the snow was fresh and everyone seemed cheerful around you as you built his round body. Your friend, though… She made hers to look a bit more realistic, less round and more angular, in a way that was giving uncanny valley vibes. But you thought nothing of it, why would you?

When she asked if you liked him, you started to suspect there was something special about him, but again, you thought nothing of it. And when she used the carrot to make a dick instead of a nose, you almost peed yourself laughing. It was just so stupid looking, all white and round but with a big carrot dick… You should have known better.

And then he showed up, alive and walking, knocking on your door and staring up and down at you like he was about to fuck you right there. His carrot dick was erected and pointing straight at you. You gaped at him as he smiled, stroking his dick slowly. You gaped some more, your eyes accidentally traveling down. That was an amazing carrot…

No. Behave, you cannot fuck a snowman, you tried to remind myself.

“Wait here,” you told the snowman, who only nodded. You grabbed your phone and dialed your friend. “Why there’s a living snowman at my door, dude?!” You screamed at her as soon as she picked up. The poor dude was looking at you as if you were his dream come true.

“Calm down, you seemed very lonely and I had a bit of extra magic lately… So I gave you my Christmas gift early. Do you like him? Have you tried him yet?”

“Have I tri- What the fuck?!” You must be dreaming, there was no way that was happening to you. You pinched yourself and blinked, but the snowman was still in front of you and your friend was still talking.

“He’s ready for you, darling. He wants to treat you like the queen you deserve to be,” she explained, almost bored. You wanted to pull her hair until she was bald.

“You did not send me a sex snowman,” you repeated, trying to make sense of what you were seeing and hearing.

“I did. Now I have to go, have fun!” She said before hanging up on you.

“We are not fucking,” you told him, your frown so deep you could see your eyebrows.

“I’m going to feed my carrot to your hungry bunny,” he deadpanned, in a tone that you supposed was intended to sound sexy. It didn’t. You struggled not to laugh, but his face was so serious you couldn’t do that to him, he looked so hopeful.

You stared at him, his hand lazily stroking his carrot once again. You felt your face blushing. You really needed to get laid, your pussy was getting wet about a snowman and a carrot… But you had more pressing matters than your wet pussy.

“One: you can’t say things like that. And two: we aren’t going to fuck.” His face fell and he stopped moving his hand, making you almost sad. Dang.

“Why not? I can smell your juices.” He could what? “You are hot for me and I’m cold for you, we should do something about it.” How desperate were you that he sounded right? You did want to fuck a snowman… Fuck, there was something so, so wrong inside of you because you were considering taking him on the offer.

“I- We- You are a snowman,” you let out, not really having a point.

“And you are a human, but my carrot is very hard for you.” You chuckled, the absurdity of it all getting to you. But most of all, your strength to hold back disappeared with that affirmation. He was made for you, and you were very horny, and his carrot looked especially delicious right now…

“Okay,” you agreed, your pussy almost clapping with enthusiasm. It had been a long time since you were properly fucked and you were feeling the need for sure.

“Okay? Are you… are you sure?” He suddenly seemed very confused about your decision, as if all his bravado died the second you agreed to fuck him. You wanted to coo at him, but you decided there was a better choice.

You walked to him and kissed his half open mouth. He was cold, but at the same time his lips felt like velvet against yours as you devoured his mouth. He gave as much as received, deepening the kiss and circling your body with his arms. You were pressed firmly against his front and your nipples instantly hardened, he was so cold in such a pleasurable way… You didn’t even know you had something for temperature play but good snowman if your pussy wasn’t quivering thinking about his hard carrot pocking your stomach.

You parted, looking at him intently, but when you didn’t find any doubt in his eyes, your choice was already made. “Fuck me, my snowman,” you almost pleaded, your voice trembling as your pussy pulsated at the same rhythm as your heart.

“Your wish is my command.” He laid you on the floor, right in the middle of your living room. “Are you ready for my carrot?” He asked, as you tried not to giggle. You nodded, fearing if you opened your mouth you would laugh and he wouldn’t give you his dick. And you needed it. You needed it so, so bad.

He entered you in one long thrust and you cried out in ecstasy. The contrast between your warm body and his cold skin was exhilarating and arousing, sending you to the stratosphere of pleasure. You didn’t know what was about to happen, but the size and shape of his carrot ended up being fantastic. The almost pointy tip played with your cervix as the wide base made your pussy clench around it, rubbing against your G-spot in the most amazing way. It was the perfect sex toy, even better, he was like a breathing sex-toy and that made your brain turn a bit fuzzy at the edges, arousal so big it was maddening.

He started a punishing pace, his dick going in and out of you so fast and hard your whole body was moving across the floor. You had to hold onto the carpet (carpet burn be damned) to be still as he pounded into your welcoming heat. He kept moaning how warm and wet you were, how good your heat felt against his cold… And you could only chant “yes, yes, yes” as he kept going.

And when you came like a tidal wave, your whole body convulsing as he kept fucking you. He didn’t stop, he fucked you through it as he used his cold fingers to rub your clit, making you ascend in your pleasure even higher. You screamed his name, pulling at his ice hair and trying to hold for dear life as you kept coming and coming…

And he kept going.

He fucked you many more times that night, his stamina endless as he kept using his clever carrot to pound into your G-spot as his cold fingers pinched your clit until you couldn’t hold back orgasm after orgasm. It was the most intense pleasure you��d ever felt, and by the time you asked for a rest, he was smirking down at you, the smugness in his face making your overused pussy twitch in anticipation.

And then you remembered… You had to thank your friend. Damn it.

[trying-out-stuff]

Hello guys !

I’m gonna share some behind the scenes from the deluxe edition of Robin son of Batman that came out this Wednesday !

This amazing cover art by Patrick Gleason (you might be wondering why Jon is here but Superman #10 and 11 are in this deluxe trade)

Continuing on and Gleason shares some words on Damian and writing him for the run, it’s really touching 🥹

« Damian is a glimpse of our deepest selves »

Gleason just gets Damian (as we saw in his writing of him) and I couldn’t be more happy !

Afterwards we get the different issues plus the Superman issue 10 and 11 around the end of the run. I definitely recommend you reading it if you haven’t !

At the end we have different sketches that I’m going to share some here :

Baby Goliath and what I think is the first sketch of Goliath that was mentioned in the intro !

Different sketches on the costumes designs and well the characters like Maya’s retractable sword !

One Talia Al Ghul piece from the bts

I reached the limit but will share my favorite one by far right after !

[5-puthyyy]

masterlist : agatha x rio / agathario x reader

⟹ read guidelines

✔ = complete

✖ = ongoing

☀ = fluff

☁ = angst

☂ = smut

★ = recommended

ｓｅｒｉｅｓ

the apprentice -- agathario x reader ✖

 ch.1 ⤐ ch.2 ⤐ ch.3 ⤐ ch.4 ⤐ ch.5 ⤐ ch.6 ⤐ ch.7 

summary: life has been about survival for you ever since your coven banished you for the simplest thing: desire. since then, you've travelled from Inn to Inn, making ends meet, until you sense a powerful Magick presence coming from two mysterious women. they take you in as their apprentice and you end up learning far more than what you came for... ☂ ★ ☁ ☀

ｏｎｅ－ｓｈｏｔｓ

the magick that binds us -- agatha x rio ☁ ☂

summary: 

“What exactly is your plan now, then?” Agatha asks, taking a different approach hoping to talk her way out of this, “You haven’t thought this through, clearly. Are you just going to stand there, gaping like a fish? Staring at what you can’t have?”

Rio snaps her head to Agatha, frowning at her words. “I already have you…” she claims, pulling her dagger out of her boot. Agatha gulps, clenching her hands into tight fists.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Agatha panics as Rio gently presses the blade to her neck, just above the collar of her buttoned shirt, “You can’t kill me. That’s not allowed.”

Rio grins, wide and wild. “Oh, don’t you worry, sweetheart…I’m only giving you a little death.”

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

Agatha tries to set Rio up but really she set herself up for a good old fashioned hate fuc---

you're looking a little green agatha x rio ☂ ☁

summary:

Rio waits a moment, sniffing deeply then sighing out and nuzzling her nose to Agatha’s skin. Gods, she missed this scent of dark Magick, of lavender and honey, of maple trees and something so distinctly Agatha. “Tell me you want me.”

Agatha’s jaw tightens, though her head movement opens up more of her neck for Rio. “I don’t.”

The Green Witch chuckles, her soft lips brushing against Agatha’s sensitive skin. “Ah, ah, ah…what did I just say? No lies,” Rio’s hand digs into the curve of Agatha’s hip, “Tell me you want me…and not her.”

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

Rio's drawn to the powerful Magick of the hex and finds Agatha flirting with a powerful witch that isn't her. I cannot be blamed for the filth that follows

river of life -- agatha x rio ☀ ☁ ☂ ★

summary: 

“A gift?” She repeated, stepping forward. The dead witch’s protests were easily ignored now; Death’s only focus was Agatha. Agatha, smiling at her brightly, eyes as bright and wild as her hair.

“A gift. For you,” Agatha revealed, taking her own step forward. Her lips trembled slightly, maybe from the cold or maybe from her nerves, Death does not know. But what she does know is Agatha just killed someone for her.

“Me?” Death breathed out, eyes wide and completely hypnotised by the beautiful gesture done for her.

Agatha attempted to step even closer but realised this was as close as she could get. The tip of her nose was just inches away from Death’s, the proximity immediately causing a shiver to run up her spine. “For you…my love,” she breathed out in confession, eager for Death’s reaction.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

Death is a simp and Agatha kills witches to court her.

(So also a simp)

[shadowjinx2906]

If you’re okay with canon events compliant, you might like @iwriteasfotini’s series. I’m not sure what the Jegulus dynamic or of what Regulus’s character will look like but so far James is maybe not quite what you’re looking for but they’re doing the canon bullying of snape (and possibly others? Bc of the snakes and lions rivalry?) and then the thing with Lily.

I don’t want to say too much and spoil it.

The first book is The Heir and The Spare and they’re going to start publishing book two soon. Haven’t finished THATS yet but it’s really good! <3

Before I mislead you though, each book is a different pov. The second one (I think? Might be wrong about which one I’m tired lol) is actually in Severus’s pov (personally this is one of the reasons I like it but I can see others might be put off by this). So there’s a whole lot of plot and ships and yeah.

Also, I think the Jegulus part comes into play around book 3 or 4? So maybe not if you’re looking for something quicker (although the books aren’t super long and the pacing is good—Tumblr is starting to wear me out with how many times I’ve talked about chapter/fic length on here 😅) more Jegulus focused, and also not canon events compliant. It is really good though, 💯 recommend!

(For some reason it won’t let me put the link but it’s in their pinned post if you’re interested)

i love sunshine james and i love soft reggie i really do

but PLEASE someone give me fic recs for arrogant egotistical asshole james becoming obsessed with rude spiteful regulus IM BEGGING

[genderlesssnake]

I just started rereading Artemis Fowl, and now I’m very confused about Lazuli’s genetics.

Spoilers for the end of The Fowl Twins book 3

So, Lazuli is supposed to be a hybrid of elf and pixie with a little bit of goblin, and at the end of the last book it was revealed that her mom was the fairy that Artemis gets the fairy bible from. Initially I thought this was really cool, but while rereading the first book I realized that her mom is a sprite? Does that mean that her dad is also a pixel with a bit of goblin, and Lazuli’s phenotype just doesn’t show any sprite traits?

I considered that maybe Artemis mistook the fairy for a sprite when she actually wasn’t, but that seems unlikely since she had green skin, which as far as I know is only a trait that sprites have.

[bepomepo33]

Does this count as spoilers? I dunno but I’ll tag it anyways.

It’s Suffrin time lmao

[corpsentry]

edited my pants

[sluttyten]

Fact: Haechan was totally my bias tonight, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him like oh my god the way he moves is just mesmerizing and hearing him singing live has me fully like 😍

And Jaemin!!!! I swear the entire city of Chicago loves him, every time he was on screen or speaking everyone screamed so loud (I don’t blame them), and he did his entire ending ment in English which was so good!!!

I love all of the dreamies and I absolutely hate that the concert is over and it’ll be god knows how long before I get to see them again, but they kept promising to see us again very soon and that the album is coming with a cute and sexy sorta Hello Future vibe, and I kept waiting for Mark to drop the date because he kept teasing us with talking about the album.

But now it’s over ☹️ and they get to go home and rest for a bit before the European leg of the tour at least

Also I handed out all of the bracelets I made, which I’m so happy about and I got compliments on them, on my hair, on my shirt and my photocard holder which I made so I was like so happy ☺️☺️ everyone is so sweet and awesome, and there’s one girl that was handing out her fanart of Mark and it was so so so cool and I’m so glad I got a little copy of it

[thatgoddamngingerundercut]

I’m not crying you’re crying

[lilidawnonthemoon]

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

There’s always been something that bothered me about whenever I try to explain the concept of Hatoful Boyfriend and most people’s immediate reaction is “oh! Like Doki Doki!”. My response is always just “…I guess?” because I could never quite explain why that felt wrong to me but I think I finally can put a finger on it now.

(To be clear, I’ve played and enjoyed both games. They’re both fun - this isn’t a criticism at all! I just think they’re, at their cores, two very different things. Also I don’t spoil anything for either game here beyond the obvious; that is, that these games are not what they seem to be at first glance, which I’m pretty sure most people know going in. If that amount of spoiler still bothers you, then stop reading here and play the games first!!!)

When people compare the two games, I 100% understand where they’re coming from. It’s the same gimmick I suppose: cutesy looking or joke visual novel actually turns out to be a smokescreen to hide the horrors within. But. Like. I feel like that’s where the similarities end.

See, DDLC’s whole point is to be shocking. It’s intended to make you jump and disturb you. It’s primarily a horror game with you, the player, as its focal point, and as a result the characters are only really there to be used by the story. The majority of the characters, with the exception of one, are pretty straightforward and lean heavily on the tropes commonly used in dating sims so the game can later distort them in increasingly horrific ways - with the intent of shocking and scaring you. The characters are more tools to be used to tell the story and create the experience than fully fleshed out people, which I think works out well thematically for DDLC. It’s effective in the sense where the characters aren’t really what draws you in, but rather the premise and the anticipation of getting a good scare out of it, with some existential stuff mixed in there for a pretty cool experience. You came to get scared right? Well that’s what you got.

But Hatoful is very different because its intent is not to shock or scare you necessarily. Hatoful, since its initial development, has been designed to make you care. Hato Moa made the game intending for people to start it because of its ridiculous concept, but then to discover it’s depth along the way. Hatoful doesn’t want to jump scare you. It wants to tell you a story. It delves into horror, that’s true, but the horror is much more psychological and it stems from the character’s actions. It’s a character driven story at its core, and it does this by taking itself seriously. It knows it’s completely absurd and leans into the absurdity, but the character interactions are real, so that when actual plot begins to happen, you’ll wonder when you started getting so attached. The characters twist typical dating sim tropes again, but this time to ask “hey why is this character like this? maybe it’s not so straightforward as you think”. And then the game goes a step further and reveals that there is an actual in-universe reason for its insane setup of “a human girl goes to bird school which is for birds and dates pigeons”. Hatoful is less tongue in cheek and more completely unabashed about it’s ridiculous premise and plays it straight - which in turn makes its serious moments shockingly genuine. That, to me, is why it works. The point is to delve into the characters. The plot is driven by the characters. It’s horrifying at times because the characters will sometimes make or be forced to make horrific choices. It’s not a gimmick. It’s a cohesive story. It’s just asking you to dig into it a little further to get there.

Tldr; DDLC is a cutesy facade and Hatoful is unabashedly absurd. DDLC wants to scare you and Hatoful wants you to care. DDLC uses its characters as tools for the experience while Hatoful’s whole point is the characters.

Editing based off a reblog that made me aware I was not completely fair with DDLC here (again, still trying not to spoil too much): The experience in DDLC is heavily based on its thematic content. When I say “the characters serve the experience” and “it wants to scare you” I don’t mean this shallowly, and I think it can and has been frequently misinterpreted in this way. In DDLC, the horror comes from the situation. In that sense, it’s thematically appropriate that the characters are tools in that way - that’s actually part of it and you are meant to feel bad for them - their situations, issues, and personalities are thematically relevant and sympathetic. I shouldn’t have juxtaposed “to scare you” and “to make you care”; that was far too simplistic a summary to the point where it is inaccurate. They both want you to care - a story only has power if you care about it. But I do still feel strongly that DDLC’s draw is the terrifying situation it impresses on the player, and the self-aware questions it asks (in which characters are put through the existential oppressive wringer to emphasize these themes), while Hatoful primarily relies on you slowly but surely acclimating to the absurdity so it can tell what is simultaneously an off the walls story that is also genuine and believable for the characters you’ve grown to know.

[an-absolute-trainwreck]

Look im not done with it quite yet but you guys need to read this book ok

Like talk to your librarian or a book store employee or find it online but you like I HIGHLY recommend

Go in kinda blind, just trust me bro

[trying-out-stuff]

Hello guys !

I’m gonna share some behind the scenes from the deluxe edition of Robin son of Batman that came out this Wednesday !

This amazing cover art by Patrick Gleason (you might be wondering why Jon is here but Superman #10 and 11 are in this deluxe trade)

Continuing on and Gleason shares some words on Damian and writing him for the run, it’s really touching 🥹

« Damian is a glimpse of our deepest selves »

Gleason just gets Damian (as we saw in his writing of him) and I couldn’t be more happy !

Afterwards we get the different issues plus the Superman issue 10 and 11 around the end of the run. I definitely recommend you reading it if you haven’t !

At the end we have different sketches that I’m going to share some here :

Baby Goliath and what I think is the first sketch of Goliath that was mentioned in the intro !

Different sketches on the costumes designs and well the characters like Maya’s retractable sword !

One Talia Al Ghul piece from the bts

I reached the limit but will share my favorite one by far right after !

[always-andromeda]

I always wondered how James Somerton could crank out such many well written video essays in such a short amount of time…

Because he’s stealing the words of literally dozens of writers who are better than him. 😀

[folkpunkfishercat]

folk punk homies who are your favorite trans artists?

[isthatovid]

from sleepytown: a southern gothic childhood with codeine by donna tartt 1992