#But idk when i'll be able to do that
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i need a walking around aimlessly tag so bad and i also. Need to stop my brain from fucking with what the ep actually representsJXHXBD
#馃.txt#Its a GOOD kind of aimless and i have felt it before and its so beautiful#Anyways im sad. Reallyyyy sad bc i have to be in college all day tomorrow and i have some very annoying work to do#That i wanted to finish today but i had to babysit + i couldnt get myself to focus on it at all#Ough i need to turn my brain off but i'll doubt i'll be able to actually fall asleep bc thats so hard when i have class bc mental illness#This wasnt supposed to turn into a vent djhdhdhr but oh well#Ummmm played dayshift today. And it was fun#Thinking about recording myself playing something and like. Actually talking bc maybe that would help with getting myself to actually talk#in vc ? Idk. I need to pratice speaking english out loud Somehow#But idk when i'll be able to do that#I keep thinking about putting things on hold until my sister grows up enough to go to school or my mom gets someone else to babysit but its#too early for that. Idk. Not excited to not sleep and spend the whole week anxious and in pain and feeling like nothing is real#vent#suprise note essay attackJFHDHHF#Man i need to make art and actually post it but. Points at everything i already said
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#vampire hunter d#vhd#art#sketch#Twin and D#my babies#Sorry I'm the most inconsistent poster 馃拃 I just do it by impulse no rhyme no reason#I was letting it rot for a while before I came to fix some of the dumb stuff#(There's still some things (a lot) but ehh good enough for now)#My birthday is next week maybe I'll try to have something for then uh#Idk if i'll be even able to post on the day though since I might be in the mountains#when I'm there I only have internet when at the brasserie 馃槶馃槶#Also I did finally rewatch 1985 the other night but fell asleep at the final battle 馃拃 (it was 1 am in my defense)
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yall ever think Shen Yuan went through like, internet withdrawal after being transmigrated into Shen Qingqiu? Like, he's canonically a NEET shut-in who did nothing but spend his time online, you can't tell me that for the first week or first few weeks of being SQQ he wasn't twitchy.
Like, reaching instinctively to his pockets for a phone that wasn't there, having an obsessive itch in the back of his mind that he should check and see if X or Y novel or webcomic has updated -- only to realize he can't anymore and being irritated by it. Wanting to go and see if there's new posts about this or that, but again realizing that he can't.
When he's bored or uncomfortable or just feels like wanting to escape he tries to go for his phone to distract himself, but oops! Not there anymore, and now he has to find a new and different way to distract himself from his feelings. And going through system notifications, quests, etc only does so much.
And there's that Tetris Effect too. SQQ makes a mistake while writing and instinctively goes to backspace on it except hey-ho that's not a keyboard and now he just dipped his pinkie into a bottle of ink or on a still-drying letter.
With him scrambling to fix his reputation and learn how to be a peak lord, I think his abrupt cold-turkey from all things internet would just be another straw on the camel's back that he promptly Ignores until it goes away on its own after he acclimates to his new surroundings.
#svsss#mxtx svsss#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#i think him learning how to be a peak lord and cultivation and everything else would help distract him from the internet withdrawal for the#most part. but the moment there's a lull in the day and his mind wanders or he becomes bored or stressed and he instinctively reaches back#for his phone and realizes it isn't there it just sends a spike of panic/frustration/irritation through him because its a familiar comfort#and now its gone. like this is all based off my own experiences from being Chronically Online but i just think its neat to think about#in that same vein i think it also pushes him into getting into the arts on QJP. Like as the peak lord naturally he would be doing this kind#of stuff but hes NOT the peak lord but to keep up appearances he has to know how to do this stuff. and finds it??? actually quite rewarding#even more than getting into an argument online or getting a new merch item. he's making or doing this stuff. he starts drawing and finishes#a piece and regardless of its skill level he feels something unclog in his chest. like sediment being scraped off the bottom of a creek and#being washed downstream. a weight that's been slogging through his veins suddenly untangled. physical proof of his efforts that feels great#starry is incapable of NOT giving her favorite blorbos more hobbies. starry is incapable of not giving her favorites artsy hobbies#this is probably NOT a new or original thought whatsoever but im throwing it out there anyways bc it fascinates me. i love transmigration#and albeit i've only read isekai manhwa/manhua there's a common theme of the people there assimilating into their new lives relatively quic#which i know is for ease of transition and getting to the rest of the story. but WHAT IF.#i have still not read svsss yet and idk when i'll be able to BUT have some thoughts anyways
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(wip) i've missed drawing these two...
#curse you final shape for being as good as you were#MAN i missed these two ngl#these sketches are part of a larger comic that i wanna do#but idk when i'll be able to finish it so have these lil frames instead!#wip#echo#echo 3#oc#the guardian#the young wolf#cayde#cayde 6#destiny cayde#hunter vanguard#hearts and spades#63#cayde x oc#cayde x the young wolf#cayde x the guardian#destiny#destiny 2#echosong971#art#digital art#fanart#destiny art#destiny fanart#cayde art
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[zombie au] the image is too big for tumblr i had to cut it in half GVEAUYGV (please for the love of god zoom in)
#qkdraws#id in alt#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#ritsu kageyama#mp100 ritsu#blood#tw guns#many witsus for y'all#had to work with a 30 layer limit here and if u know anything abt the way i work . 30 layers is hashtag Not Enough#for a girl that uses 16 layers to do an action the requires Maybe 2 and never merges anything . yeah that was hell#im kidding it was a fun challenge i kinda liked it. didn't mean for the canvas to get so big#i just kinda kept drawing ritsus and it got bigger and bigger#my hobbies include Drawing Ritsu. and also Writing Ritsu#he's just a lil guy. full of secret childlike wishes n innocence wrapped up in a layer of jadedness and learned violence#we love to see it#that one ritsu ..the one where he's talkin abt the settlements ......i think about that shit all the time#his attitude toward them. his never-ending contempt for the ''other side'' even tho he's been shown kindness from them#and how that shit highlights exactly how far away people are able to stray from logic when they're deep in the middle of things like this#and that applies to both parties.ritsu And the settlements#idk i'll articulate it better eventually but.god. this situation they're all in is fucked up
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@vanweek2024 day 4 - food
peep the vanny
#my art#vanweek2024#vanny fnaf#the stinky rabbit is also here technically but its a minor cameo so i will not be tagging it lmao#sso anyway. admittedly this one was really rushed but i was going for a simple style anyway so? idk it worked out#originally when i finished the lineart my program didnt actually save it. its very outdated and weird so it happens sometimes but UGHHHH#luckily it does save the thumbnail for the image... so i was able to save it#i did do all the coloring in an entirely different program bc of this though#and SPEAKING of the coloring i edited this like a MILLION times#PISSED ME OFFFFF ugh#its done now though. smiles#but if i stare at it too long i'll want to edit it again BDJZJFJG#so YEAH this one. despite being so simple. gave me a lot of trouble HFJSJGJG#anyway uh just in case this is only a US thing.... i based this off of 'peeps' which are like a marshmallow candy#that come in two main shapes: a little baby chick and a little bunny rabbit. theyre mainly for easter i think#honestly i hate them. HFJSJFKF but theyre rabbit shaped so u know. rabbits
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Inktober Day 26 - Discarded
Once again I've started rereading @post-it-notes7's fic Heart and Soul and am as always having a Wonderful time with it unlike the protagonists
(will probably go back in and add the shading later but for now it's 2am so it's gettin posted!)
#I still plan to do the shading but idk if i'll be able to have it done before october ends since i'm about to fly out for a conference lol#i Might be able to take my sketchbook but i might also just wait to do it some other time when things are less hectic#def do plan to finish it up at some point though#inktober#inktober2023#meta knight#galacta knight#heart and soul#h&s#do i still need to tag spoilers the relevant chapter has been out for quite a while by this point haha#despite reading the relevant chapter like 2 days ago i couldn't recall if the moon phase was mentioned so feel free to ignore it if I'm off#my art#doodles#drops gk like a sack of flour#he's fine
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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interconnected young n煤men贸rean OCs:
oruz卯r: native of romenna from a faithful family, loosely associated with the brotherhood. he's taken when random people are being picked off the streets in Romenna in retaliation for a joint assassination attempt on Sauron and Ar-Pharazon (the loyalists are filtered out, of course, but he's very much not) and killed-slash-sacrificed. I am not giving any details but, uh, it's not pleasant by any means because of the whole "collective punishment and deterrent against treason" facet.
he also becomes the basis of a lot of n煤men贸rean/gondor-arnorian folklore about dead people appearing to their kin in dreams (together with gorlim from the first age probably) because he does. more than once, and all with namo's permission, he's just waiting for his best friend to arrive in the halls and there are those whose spirits can be raised by the appearance of someone who died well and is now a given value of okay.
angrod: yes, his parents chose a random name from the histories, next question; on a day to day basis he goes by something adunaic. taken on the same day as his best friend and for the same reasons, killed a few days after him. one of the people oru did talk to in dreams, they leave the halls together.
ireth: oru's cousin and other best friend, born and raised somewhere beyond romenna. her family moved to pelargir a few years before the other was killed, because the situation in n煤menor was getting too bad for their liking and that's probably how she survived everything that happened. also talks with oru in a dream, raises a symbolical grave for him in her garden which becomes something of a local curiosity/chapelet in later days. her letters regarding the post-mortem conversation are probably the best preserved account of the whole idea. childhood friend to several members of the brotherhood.
dir锚n: youth engaged to aval锚zr锚, very deep in illegal activities. he is killed while leading a fugitive "traitor" to the coast.
khamil: dir锚n's younger brother, raised by him after their parents passed on from illness, 14 at time of death. in the absence of a dir锚n to question he is unfortunately arrested by the king's men and brought to the temple where in dire circumstances he manages not to reveal the names of any of his brother's co-conspirators. I feel guilty for killing him off because lil bro is the same age and I realised that's actually a kid when I put the two together.
aval锚zr锚: she's the unofficial leader of a group in romenna that calls itself the brotherhood for lack of a better name and consists of several "full-time" and several looser affiliated members. their goals are non-military, they mostly occupy themselves with the collection of medical and financial support, preservation of art and culture, as well as passing on messages for whoever among the faithful might have need such service.
tirithon: core member of the brotherhood. taken by sauron, he is unable to keep many of the others secret under interrogation. sacrificed soon after.
azgabar: friend of tirithon betrayed by him. he holds no grudge and forgives him in the halls before they go on.
azrathel: sole survivor of the brotherhood, former neighbour of oruz卯r and angrod. she meets and becomes a friend of ireth after the downfall.
s煤rion: an acquaintance/loose friend of azrathel and one of the people who came up with the assassination plot. if he ever learns about the azrathel-ireth-oruzir connection it's going to be awkward, especially as he's probably going to meet ireth someday. ("your cousin kinda died instead of me, and tbh neither of us should have died but uh if anyone here committed treason it was not him and maybe I should have predicted the outcome")
#this probably pins the speaker of my last n煤menor fanfic as azrathel really#also idk if I'll be able to write anything more for them cause uh. I declined to share anything about oru's manner of death#but I did come up with something and now I can't unsee it when I think about him#and I can't really say 'no that's not what happened' either because sauron very much WOULD do that#also this is why i say I'd prefer to live under hitler than pharazon; when the nazis did retribution they at least put people to the wall#(also yeah I know they did worse things too AND it's me coming up with the N煤menor stuff mostly#but in my defense antiquity-ish despots were big on gruesomeness)#tw human sacrifice#tw death#tw implied torture#tw child death#<- writing about n煤menor comes with a ridiculous number of these thought the above are the ones I use most often#*sighs*#oruz卯r#angrod of romenna#ireth#dir锚n#khamil#(have I given the youngest of the victims a name that is one letter off from the name of my brother who died in childhood... yeah it seems.#maybe I'll change it because this is awkward)#aval锚zr锚#tirithon#azgabar#azrathel#s煤rion#n煤menor#my post#Silmarillion#silm
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my eye-spy sitcom best friendcore ass apartment. btw. just thought you should know. I kind of recommend zooming in if you want to.
Constant Visual Stimulation. No Escape.
bonus: the newest addition that we stole rescued from my place of work yesterday after taking these pics. a lovely lady.
#this covers the majority of it for now. I cannot stop myself from putting every little thing on a wall#if you can spot just how many of these things are my own art you get some sort of prize ig#I don't think you'd be able to though. not in full tbh.#also please forgive me for the tumblr sexyman sash and the blorbo poster. I was going thru it last year. had a moment of weakness.#idk what to tag this as tbqh.#maximalism#I think?#apartment#aesthetic#the tragedy of this is that you can't see my Dr. Who book+comic shelves in this#I also didn't really document our bat shelf very well either. maybe I should just take pics of the bookshelves. lmao.#ok to interact. please do actually tbh#there was a part of me that was going to make a way more intense exploration of the living room#almost point and click style. hard to explain rn. maybe one day I'll do it when I clean up the bookshelves and stuff more#but this doesn't even get into all the stickers on the end tables and my speakers and stuff loll
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idk I think these are fun
#girl after drawing for the first time in weeks instead of just rotting in his room voice: damn this is fun i like drawing :)#ONE DAY I'LL BE ABLE TO OFFER UP BETTER. I PROMMY#i know im a broken record 馃槶 i am not functioning currently and unfortunately that also means i cant do good art or writing or anything#idk when I'll get better but I will#girl who has to apologise for his very existence. SORRY SJDJDKDK#egg.txt#sonic#myart
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going through my backlog of ErenAhru caps I never posted now
#mine#ahru hiraeth#erenville#wol x erenville#idk when i'll be able to do any serious gposing again tbh#big sad but idk if i feel like tempting fate to burn my computer from the inside out :'''')#ship: homecoming
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me and my friends were talking today and I made a dragonsona because why the fuck not. No one can fucking stop me. I'm not really a furry or therian but it's really fun to make a version of myself who's a cool feathery dragonboy!! Anyways if ur seeing this this is ur sign to go make a fursona. It really isn't that deep its just a fun little OC.
#Furry#Dragon furry#Anthro#By the way he has two names (ghost and cedar) and might get another one when Sunny comes back idk if he's gonna be that into it#He has top surgery and he's like. If one of those feathery dinosaurs was a dragon. I haven't been able to give him color yet#But I want him to have 3 color schemes#1 for spring and summer (bright colors I'll let sunny design him)#1 for winter (off white and pale and fluffy feathers)#And 1 for the transitioning fall period (browns and yellows!)#Idk what color his eyes are but I can truly just do whatever I want. I might just go with gold#Like if mine were more saturated and brighter
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Today, I give you L枚枚ps. Tomorrow? L枚枚ps again, probably.
I've been practicing drawing them from the anime models to get better at drawing them free-handed, and it's actually a really fun exercise! I like how diverse the character designs and their expressions are while using really basic shapes.
Like, at first glance Lupin's face looks like it's all over the place, but it's mostly just an oval, sometimes a bean. Once you know how his ear and his hairline connect to the rest of his face you can draw his whole head almost with one stroke.
On another note, I just discovered that Jigen's head is actually a square and not a pointy shaped like I have thought for the past three years, and I feel like my life is a lie.
Also, Goemon's hair is a nightmare.
I've been using Magnetic Press's book "50 Animated Years of Lupin III" as a model, it's got a TON of reference art, it's amazing!!!
#next step is practicing fujiko and zenigata#i also have a page of hand references that i want to try to copy#but idk when i'll get to it#i probably won't be able to do it next week unfortunately :(#anyway. l枚枚ps :)#lupin iii#lupin the third#daisuke jigen#goemon ishikawa
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I'm actually SO tempted to do a similar thing that @/alextydaisuda123 and @/creat0rstudi0 are doing, with drawing a character from different AUs. I'm just not sure who yet.
I could do it like Soul and use a canon character (probably Gustavo and/or Brick), OR I'll do something similar to what Emi does and draw what my OC would look like in different AUs.
Who knows, maybe I'll do both
#now here's the question. do i do it digitally or do start a physical sketchbook??#also if i do it. I won't be able to do it every day#when i have enough time and when i feel like it#toast talk#if i go the oc route it would take way longer cause uh. i need to figure out the design first#and I'm notoriously bad at coming up with character designs#prime example. ziti. but they don't count cause they're a self insert and that's just how i look like#idk. maybe I'll do it maybe i won't#let's see i guess#toast is rambling again take its phone away please
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youtube
This song is so perfect for them, I'm actually gonna cry
Anyway here you go, have some more emotions!!!
#doctor who#ninth doctor#tenth doctor#rose tyler#ninerose#tenrose#timepetals#hadestown#ouoouhghgghhhh. them#i fear that now that i have started making fanvids i won't be able to stop#no guarantees for when i'll actually make another though. we'll see#I'm really tempted to make a video for [REDACTED] (which I don't even really ship!!!) to the song [REDACTED] bc it's SO perfect for them#but to do that I would have to rewatch a season#which I'm kinda tempted to anyway but idk#who knows#mine#my videos#Youtube#pinned
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