#But for a split second I had a mini panic attack | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clumsiestgiantess · 6 months

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Chapter 21 of The Other-world Universe; is promising to save an entire city of people from an apocalypse the smartest thing to do? No. Is it the right thing? Hopefully.

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[Calm Before the Storm]

I woke up the next day with the immense relief that I had not rolled over in my sleep. Yet when I yawned, I didn’t feel Erica's form shift on top of me. My head shot upright in a mini panic attack as I searched for her, trying to make as little movement as possible. I was a few seconds away from fully sitting up before I finally found her.

Erica had — either intentionally or subconsciously in sleep — managed to slip her way into my bra, and was sleeping soundly in the center of my chest. Bewilderment and relief flooded through me so suddenly, I nearly laughed aloud at the sight. Heat already began seeping across my cheeks as I watched her snuggle against me. I was slightly suspicious that this might have been her plan all along, but it was entirely possible that it was a mistake. After all, she had no blanket, and her spot tucked between fabric and my skin had to be rather cozy. I have to admit, I don't blame her for sleeping there.

For a while I lay in the field trying to get control over my furious blush, but soon I felt Erica stirring on my chest. I quickly shut my eyes, pretending to have been asleep. Obviously, I couldn't see her reaction, but I could feel her flinch slightly once she awoke. There was a split second of confused crawling around before she gasped; the audible shock behind its sound convinced me that she had in fact not planned for this.

"Holy shit!" I heard her whisper faintly, "How the hell did I get here?" I bit my lip, desperately trying to keep myself from smiling at her reaction. Thankfully, I hid my bemusement quickly. Erica slowly crawled out from the top of my bra, trying her best not to wake me. As quickly as she dared, she clambered down my side to the ground below. The echoes of her faint touch still danced across my skin long after she'd stepped away.

When I was certain she had moved further from me, I pretended to wake up. Erica was sitting on my cast-off clothing when I opened my eyes, no doubt pretending that was where she'd slept. "Good morning," I addressed her with another yawn, "Did you sleep well on my shirt?" Even with the slight distance between us, I could see the massive amount of guilt written over every one of her features. To hide this, Erica busied herself by looking for the top half of her own clothes, which had been tossed off into the darkness the night before. "Uhh, yeah! I enjoyed spending the night with you." Even her voice sounded slightly off-pitch with embarrassment.

"Something wrong?" I asked her. "No! Nothing's wrong; I just.. I can't find my stuff." "Mhm, sure." My mocking tone gave everything away. She turned to look up at me, eyes wide. "You woke up before me, didn't you?" she accused, a bit shaken. "I may have," I replied, sliding closer to her. "I.. That was an accident, I swear. I wouldn't have done that unless you were awake. You know, in case you disagreed." "Well.. I don’t think I am disagreeing with it."

For once, Erica became a blushing mess instead of myself. She collected her things from the ground with flushed cheeks and an embarrassed smile, pressing them to her chest. We had breakfast together, and Erica promised to come sleep with me at least once every week. "To keep you company out here," she clarified, "Not because of, you know, anything that happened last night." “Really?” I mocked a shocked expression, “That’s not the reason?” Erica rolled her eyes, “Alright, that’s part of the reason. It’s like.. a billion times more exhilarating making out with someone who’s building-sized.”

With a bemused chuckle, I finished my meal. "Let's go see what everyone else is up to today, shall we?" I asked after we'd readied ourselves for the day. "I'm supposed to be guarding the town, but lately I feel like I've just been slacking off." "Alright," Erica agreed, "I'll go bother Ivan, then." I smiled, shaking my head slightly. Ivan is, to say the least, almost the opposite of Erica personality-wise. I can easily imagine the havoc she undoubtedly thrusts upon him in the Cavern Town. Usually, I was around to deal with her charisma myself, but I guess he'd been having to deal with it for the past few days that I’d been away.

I held out my hand for Erica to climb on. It was an unspoken rule that she would ride on my shoulder whenever we traveled together. She stretched tiredly across its length before sitting up sideways, her back tucked against my neck. With her settled in, I started off towards the town. I couldn’t help but sneak a glance at her every so often. Erica always seemed the most comfortable perched on my shoulder. Half of me thinks it’s adorable, but my more reasonable half always reminds me of the times she nearly fell off. Despite this, the former part of me always wins in the end, and I let her stay.

Reaching the valley of the Cavern Town, I checked in with the guards before anything else. However, they were nowhere to be found. Erica and I exchanged puzzled glances as I bent closer to one of the wooden structures. Multiple large guns greeted me in response.

I flinched harshly, feeling Erica’s grip tighten on me as she was thrown backwards. After a few tenuous seconds, someone recognized me. “Get down!” a guard whisper-yelled at me, “There were giants spotted on the horizon to the west!” My nerves spiked instantly and I dropped onto the valley floor. If the scientists come back now, I might not be able to fight them off! Sure, I have my new weapon, but I barely had time to practice with it yesterday. I haven’t even put up a barrier around the town, either. What if they attack it again?!

Worst-case-scenarios drifted through my head while I pressed myself to one of the mountains behind me. They're here for the other-world people, not me. I tried unsuccessfully to calm myself down, but I knew that wasn’t true. In fact, they might've come back specifically because of me. After all, I'd killed a few of them in my rage the last time we'd clashed.

What if the scientists came to kill me? I don't think I can fight any more than five of them at a time. And I only managed to do that because I'd caught them off-guard. What if they lock me away like everyone else — an oddity from a world that isn’t there?

Suddenly, I was startled from my thoughts by a whisper to my side. "You're alright; it's ok," Erica comforted me, carefully laying a hand on my neck. "The hazmat giants aren't here. Just- Just calm down.. you're shaking." I am? I am. I hadn't even realized that my shot nerves were vibrating my body with fear-induced adrenaline. Try as I might, I couldn't get myself to stop. My heartbeat pounded in my ears, and I was almost pulled into another downward spiral of worries. Thankfully, Erica snapped me back out of it. She tapped my shoulder lightly and I turned to see her. With one small gesture, she slid into my awaiting palms.

I tried in vain to stop myself from shaking as I slowly brought her in front of me. Despite that, Erica still wobbled in my cupped hands as she stood, reaching out to gently grip my face for balance. Once she steadied herself, she stood directly in front of my vision. "Focus on me, alright?" My head was brought closer to herself. "You'll be ok. Just focus on me." I listened raptly, trying to match my erratic breathing to her calmer breaths. Her chest grazed my fingertips with every inhale as she leaned over them. Erica’s concerned expression filled my view while she tried to take my focus off the possibly vengeful scientists.

Is this how Erica sees me? I wondered, watching her concerned expression inch ever-closer to my eyes. Do I take up her vision like this when I get close? It was strangely comforting now, but I could certainly see how overwhelming I would’ve been to her before we got to know one another.

I kept my gaze on her, though she only really fit into my view one eye at a time. Before long, a guard from the structure opposite us gave the all-clear. I stood up with Erica grasped lightly in my clutches, gazing out at the horizon beyond the mountains around me. “Where’d they go?” I wondered aloud. “Must’ve been on the hunt for a different town,” Erica noted, “They know better than to mess with this one, thanks to you.” I smiled down at her thankfully. She met my gaze with such tenderness I nearly went in for a kiss before remembering where we were and deciding otherwise.

Together we made it the rest of the way to the cavern, where a small crowd had gathered outside. I recognized Ivan immediately; he stood at the front, nervously shifting from foot to foot. He flagged me down, but two vaguely familiar people stepped in the way before I could get to him.

Erica quietly explained from her spot in my hands that they were the co-founders of the Cavern Town: Isabel Ashford and Marcus Stoll. She’d met them briefly when she’d been ‘kidnapped’ from the cliffside. These were the same two people who’d negotiated the protection deal. I knelt in front of them, letting Erica off shortly afterwards. “Defender,” the kinder one, Ms. Ashford, addressed me as I settled cross-legged on the ground. 'Defender' is my nickname amongst some of the people living there; many of the guards called me by it.

“The giants could have attacked us earlier, and you would not have been here to do your job. The one thing we asked of you is that you protect our city as amends for destroying it.” I nodded my head solemnly, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to protect you. I have no excuse.” Silently, I shifted to feel the smooth crystalline structure embedded in my neck. “However,” I continued, remembering why I’d wanted to return to the Cavern Town, “I might have a solution. At least, I hope I do.”

With a slight flourish, I slid my gun out from behind me. A murmur rose from the group of people gathered outside. “I made and tested this yesterday. Working properly, it’ll be able to create a protective barrier over your whole town.” The shorter gruffer one, Mr. Stoll, was ready with multiple questions: How strong is the barrier? What is it made of? How deep does it go? Would people be able to leave once it was put up? Would they be able to breathe inside it? Will I continue to stay in the valley after I've set it up? All good questions; I answered every last concern until the two leaders reconvened and headed back towards the town to debate my idea.

A large number of Cavern Town residents stayed behind once they heard Erica tell me to demonstrate the barrier setting for her, including one of the founders, Mr. Stoll. He broke away from the other founder and slunk along the edges of the crowd, watching me intently. I pretended not to take notice, but I could feel him watching me.

After covering various pieces of land with green, glassy covers, I realized I’d yet to figure out how to take them down. Oh no, please don’t make me recreate this thing again. Ivan managed to slip through the crowd towards me as everyone gathered around to see the small barriers for themselves — walking through them and testing their strength with various objects nearby. I watched them intently. None of them were strong enough to cause much more than a strong ricochet, which worked out perfectly. I didn’t need anything blowing up by mistake.

Erica surveyed everything from atop one of my knees while I sat in the midst of the crowd, trying my best not to get overwhelmed by the amount of small people surrounding me. Once he’d made it to my side, Ivan called up to me, but I strained to hear his voice over the crowd and his distance from me. Erica noticed my confusion. “He asked if the barriers are really going to do anything, because it looks like they can’t! Everyone’s just walking through them!” she yelled to me. Ivan yelled at her and motioned for me to lower my hand to him, learning from Erica’s little gestures.

When my hand touched the ground, everyone around Ivan scattered as if I’d put down an explosive. I tried not to dwell on the fact that everyone there seemed so frightened of me, or the fact that I had to pick people up just to understand them. My height was quite the advantage in an apocalypse where ‘giants’ were invading, but it was such a hindrance for so many other things. I want to help people. If those same people are frightened of me, then are they really going to want my help? A small sinking feeling arose in my chest. These barriers better work…

With Ivan in my palm, I lifted him to my face. “I didn't say any of that!” he told me, waving a hand at Erica. “I asked if it was strong enough to keep giants out while still letting people through.” Erica rolled her eyes behind his back. “Hopefully,” I answered Ivan. “there’s no way for anything besides your people and me to pass through one. The scientists and whoever else tries to get in will be blocked, though I can’t exactly test it with the ‘giants’,” I confessed, “I did test it with a few different objects. Nothing got through.”

“If they can’t get through it, won’t they try to dig beneath the barrier instead?” I shook my head, “Even if they tried digging beneath it, the barrier will grow to cover anything they dig out.” “Won’t it grow over the tunnels we make to get materials and things in and out, too?” “Don’t worry, I thought of that. The barrier will stay open around them so long as you make them before I put it up. If you do it beforehand, the barrier will grow around the tunnels when it forms. If you do it afterwards, like the scientists might try, it’ll sense that there’s a breach and grow to fill any gaps.”

Ivan seemed satisfied at that, and I let him off beside Erica. She gave him a teasing look and he said something to her. It was hard to tell sometimes whether those two were getting along or not, but Erica burst out laughing and Ivan grinned, so I guessed they were both fine. Before long, the crowd dispersed, leaving me, Erica, and Ivan behind along with a few stragglers. I glanced around inconspicuously, trying to spot the founder who’d been watching me, but it seemed Mr. Stoll had disappeared along with most of the crowd.

By lunchtime, I was the only one left outside to patrol the mountains and practice with my new weapon — besides the other-worldians in the watchtowers, of course. They came out in shifts, but there was always someone there occupying every lookout. The others had left for the Cavern Town by then, hoping to find news about the debate and my idea. I toyed with my barriers, trying to seem like I knew what I was doing while the guards were watching. Thankfully, I found that I had to hold my hand on top of a barrier and will it to stop existing if I wanted it to fall away. The idea was somewhere in the back of my mind when I’d first created the crystalline bar.

I’d just returned to the valley after eating lunch in my field when the founders returned. Thankfully, they hadn’t arrived sooner, or they would’ve found me missing once again. “We’ve come to a conclusion,” Ms. Ashford announced. “You may place the barrier over the town, but only after we put hidden passages in place for our people.” “Which means you stay nearby until they’re finished,” Mr. Stoll told me with a hint of distrust, “You will sleep right here in the valley, and return to your place in the field only after the barrier is up and functioning properly. Afterwards, I suppose we could cut back on your working hours so long as you make an appearance daily to scout for other giants.”

The rules were fair enough. I didn’t like the idea of sleeping in the slim space between the mountains, but it wouldn’t be for very long. Erica had immediately complained once she heard about my sleeping in the valley. However, I reminded her about her perfectly fine bed in the Cavern Town. “At least you have an actual bed, and a house,” I said after she grumbled over the fact she couldn’t secretly sleep with me. Erica mumbled a half-hearted apology before leaving for the town, yelling: “Steal a bed from your own world if you want one so badly!” Before I could tell her that was a dumb idea, and the scientists would definitely be able to spot it, she’d vanished into the rocks.

With the plan underway and a full-time job taking up most of my time, the days blurred together quicker than I thought. Erica would come visit me on the mountainside at least once or twice a day to keep me from getting too bored or too worried. Ever since those scientists made their way along the horizon, I was anxious that they’d be back to take the town while it wasn’t protected by the barrier. I trained with my weapon with every opportunity I got, which sometimes included late nights. I didn’t sleep much anyways; the restricting space between the valley, and the potential to damage more of the mountainsides, kept me up.

Several weeks later, a few crude passages had been established. They would be smoothed, tiled, and lit eventually, but they were solid enough in their current state to count as complete. With crossed fingers, I pulled out my gun and shifted it into the fourth and final mode. The whole town — which had really grown into a city — had to evacuate just in case something went wrong and the barrier somehow failed dangerously.

I was shocked at the amount of people that filed out of the gaping cavern in the side of the mountain. I’d never seen the whole population in one place before. Every day a scouting group would come back with various items and occasionally people in tow, but I hadn’t realized just how many other-worldians had settled there. This has to work, I realized suddenly, Otherwise everyone here might not have a safe space to live anymore. The scientists know all of this is here. Why haven’t they come to take it yet?

With everyone finally out of the cavern, the founders gave the signal that it was completely empty. With careful aim, I guided the barrel to the center of the hollow mountain and fired. A firework-esque crackle resonated through the valley, making my hair stand on end. Pieces of rock fell off the mountainside and exploded on the barrier’s face. Small landslides tumbled dangerously close to the crowd, but I quickly swept them away with my free hand, blocking anything from falling too close.

It was a rather raucous creation, but once everything settled down, the barrier looked stunning. Tension released from my taunt muscles as my plan fell into place, and I let out a breath I felt like I’d been holding for days. Soon, everyone from the Cavern Town returned inside — marveling at their brand-new protection. I could hear the faint noises of celebration coming from within; cheers and music drifted through the barrier and the tunnels.

As my reward, I was allowed to collect my things and return to the field. The valley looked a bit more barren than usual without me in it. I don’t know why I was so melancholy leaving it; I hadn’t liked sleeping there at all. Longingly, I watched the festivities from afar. “If only I could actually celebrate my accomplishments with them,” I whispered, “but I bet everyone will get uncomfortable if I get too close.” I rubbed the bar on my neck unconsciously. If only this thing worked how I made it…

Dark clouds rolled in on a strong breeze that smelled of rain. I put up a barrier around my blankets in anticipation for the storm to come, then lay down and curled up in my empty patch of grass alone, left daydreaming about what I would be doing if I were other-world size with Erica and Ivan out celebrating.

The next morning, I woke up extremely early. Too early. A storm had started up while I slept, and I was startled awake by a sudden downpour. The sound of the rain pelting the barrier was horrendous. For the whole city inside the other barrier, the sound was probably dulled by how full the hemisphere was with rock and machinery and patched-together houses. For me in my almost empty barrier, the hollowness amplified the noise until it was impossible to sleep or even think.

I angrily took down the barrier and almost went to grab an umbrella from my own world before lightning suddenly streaked across the sky. Shit, that’s close! I hit the dirt, realizing that I was definitely the tallest thing in the field. An umbrella would only make things worse. If I got struck, I would probably just end up back in the basement rather than dying — just like what had happened on my very first day. However, the electrical surge from an actual bolt of lightning, no matter how small, might be enough to knock me out. At the very least, it would be tremendously painful.

Again I found myself hating my stupid living arrangements. I was wet, my blankets and pillow were soaked, and I could barely keep my eyes open due to my early wake-up call. The storm stopped a few hours later, but by then I’d stayed up for so long and was so soaking wet that I was already wide awake and shaking slightly with the cold. I internally rejoiced when the sun came out, warming me up and drying me off a bit.

The whole field was practically underwater — flooded by the rain — so I took my meal to go. I must’ve looked like an absolute mess. The moment Erica saw me, she gave me a look that was equally pitying and slightly amused. “You might want to borrow a brush from your world,” she chuckled, “You look like you were hit by a train.” “Or a thunderstorm,” I grumbled, “I’ll be back.” In a moment, I was in my own world.

Thankfully, everyone was preoccupied with other things at the time, so I was able to get a hairbrush and a fresh change of clothes without anyone noticing me. I stayed a bit longer once I heard my family making plans in the living room. Soon enough they would come over to my room to bring me up to speed on their ideas, so I avoided them by taking a shower. Minutes later, my dad yelled through the bathroom door that he and the others were heading out. He offered to wait for me, but I turned him down. I had to get back to the other-world.

With everyone gone, and myself finally pampered and warmed up, I took a moment to stroll through the house, marveling at how everything was just perfectly scaled to me. Back in the basement, I packed a few extra items for my settlement — including a hairbrush. When I went to put my things away, however; I got an ingenious idea. Grabbing my blanket and pillow, I brought them into my world. “I’ve had just about enough of being uncomfortable,” I grumbled.

Taking them both into the field of strange energy, I gave them each special abilities. I imbued the pillow with the ability to make it feel like I was sleeping on a mattress while I used it, and I imbued the blanket with the ability to be the perfect temperature at all times. “There,” I sighed, placing them down. “I’ll check on you later. First, I’ve got to get back to the town.”

Erica was waiting for me in the same spot she'd stood before, milling around aimlessly, waiting for me to come back. She did a double take once I re-appeared, then nodded. "Yup, that's much better." I rolled my eyes with a smile and gently scooped Erica up. Or, more accurately, I’d barely reached for her before she scrambled up into my hand. “Where are we going?” she asked, peering over my cupped fingers in excitement.

“Now that I have some time off, I was thinking of exploring the rest of the mountains over here. I’ll get a lay of the land, maybe find another town.” “Another town?” Ivan echoed. He’d just stepped out of one of the new tunnels and overhead me. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.. You’ll just terrify a bunch of innocent people.”

“But I could help them! I could give everyone a barrier just like this one,” I explained, gesturing towards the Cavern Town, now sealed off by an indestructible opaque hemisphere. “You should wait until we know the barrier actually works before you do that.” My brows furrowed in concern, and I knelt to see Ivan’s expression. “You don’t think it’ll work?” I asked, slightly offended. I’d worked hard to create something that would protect everyone from the likes of the scientists.

“All I’m saying is that we have no proof that it does work,” he reasoned, “I’m fairly confident it will keep the giants out, and so are most people, or else we wouldn’t have let you put it up. But no one knows that for sure because no one’s ever tried to break in. You said so yourself that you couldn’t fully test it.” I nodded, seeing the logic behind Ivan’s argument. I wanted to solve everything desperately — to keep awful things from happening and to prove I wasn’t a part of such awful things myself — but not so desperate that I was willing to give false hope to people just to relieve some of the stress.

However, Erica scoffed in my cupped hands. “And? What are you suggesting? Do you want us to lure some giants over to test it?” She asked sarcastically. “No!” Ivan yelled, exasperation growing in his voice. “We should know for a fact that the barrier keeps giants out before we go promising it to others! If they’re depending on it to keep them alive and it fails, you’re going to be responsible for their capture!” Erica was ready to quip something snide in return, but I placed my hand over her — holding her in an interlocking cage of my own fingers. Again, it was hard to tell if they were getting along or genuinely fighting.

“Erica, let it go. He has a point; we can’t go around giving out barriers claiming they can stop the scientists when we don’t know if they actually do.” I could hear her grumble in protest, but her voice was too muffled by my fingers to understand. “I’ll just patrol around the valley today. Want to come with us, Ivan?”

He shook his head, “I have plenty of things to do in town.” I nodded, watching him leave. Was that an excuse not to come, or does he genuinely have stuff to get done? Erica yelled something and I quickly released her. “What did you say?” “I said forget about him. If he wants to sit around in the rocks, let him. He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.” With an annoyed huff, Erica gave a running leap out into the open air before landing on my chest, clinging to the fabric of my shirt. She clambered up to one of my shoulders and sat atop it — perched a dizzying height above the ground for someone as tiny as her.��

“Alright I’m set, let’s go,” she said as nonchalantly as if she’d got into a car rather than jumped over a deadly long gap. Speechless, I glanced over at her with wide eyes. She snickered and leaned back slightly, grinning at me. “Something wrong?” Erica asked in an innocent voice. I shook my head at her reproachfully. “You’re crazy. I don’t know how you get the confidence to do half the things you do.”

Erica thought silently as I meandered around the outskirts of the valley. “Well, I know you’ll always be there to stop anything bad from happening,” she answered with a nonchalant shrug. Of course I’ll always take care of her, but she she should still be at least a little self-conscious, shouldn’t she? It’s not just her I have to worry about anymore; it’s the whole town. The daunting reality had dawned in my mind watching the crowds of people outside the mountain, but now it had really settled in.

“We've.. stopped," Erica stated in confusion. I could feel her edge forward slightly, trying to gauge my pensive expression from the side. "Alexis? Are you alright?" A long sigh escaped my lips and I put a hand to one of my temples to massage it. A slight headache had tormented me for the past few days. The storm the night before had only worsened it.

"Yeah. I'm just.. tired, I guess." I sat down heavily on a flatter part of the mountainside. "You haven't been getting much sleep in the valley, have you?" Erica asked, realizing how exhausted I really was. "Well, there's that. But I've also been so stressed with the whole 'this barrier better work because if it doesn't you might be leaving a few thousand people defenseless' thing too,” I added. Erica patted the side of my neck comfortingly, I turned to her and she brushed a stray lock of hair from my face.

“I know, love. People talk in that mountain, too. They know they have to rely on you… It’s a mixed reaction, really. All those people — I can’t imagine the burden,” she said softly. “Even-” she paused, shook her head, then started again. “I’m here. I’ll help in every way I can, I promise. I hate that this is happening to you.. to us, but I’m with you. Even if I’m not physically fighting beside you. Even if I really want to be…” Erica gave me a little pleading look and I returned it with a half smile. “If you’re scared or stressed or anything, pick me up anytime and let me help you.”

“Thank you,” I sighed. Smiling softly at her, I reached up and stroked her arm, then carefully rested the pad of my thumb against the side of her head. A rare genuine smile passed Erica’s lips as she closed her eyes, leaning into my touch. “I didn’t get a lot of sleep-” I paused to yawn, “last night too, so you aren’t entirely wrong about the no sleep thing either. Stupid thunderstorm kept me up.” “Then what are you doing carrying me around?” Erica asked incredulously, “Go and get some sleep, you big dork!” “But, it’s not even dark-” “If you’re stressed and tired, you have no reason to be up right now! Go to bed. No excuses.”

Sighing, I lifted Erica off my shoulder to get a better look at her. She knelt in my palms, looking meaningfully up at me, gesturing for me to bring her closer. The moment I bridged the small gap between us, Erica pressed a small kiss onto my cheek. “Go rest,” she said softly, “You deserve a break, Alexis.” I gave in — nodding my agreement as I headed back to the right mountain to let Erica off. Leaving her and everyone behind the safety of the barrier, I trudged off to my things that I’d returned to the field.

When I flopped over onto my blanket, it felt like heaven. I’d forgotten that I gave little powers to my bedding. I spread out completely, enjoying all the room I had out in the field. The tight walls of the valley near the Cavern Town had previously restricted my sleeping space — it had been close to claustrophobic. Now I had all the room I could want, as well as my new more comfortable sleeping arrangements. Though there were still plenty more hours of daylight left, I was asleep in minutes.

#beware the title of this one yall #next chapter won’t be pretty…#enjoy the sweetness of this one tho!#g/t #giant/tiny #other-world universe #gt writing

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shapard · 11 months

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PATHETIC

True!form!Sukuna x fem!reader

A/n: I changed in the Story the 1st into the 2nd person. I apologize for the change in the Story. Enjoy

chapter 1:

Tw: Violence, Nudity, mention of blood

Chapter 2: Meeting

It’s strange, and I don’t really like how he’s looking at me. Hungry, like he wants to devour me in whole. His breath brushed against my face; I only could see a blurry mess in front of me. I could see his shiny red glowing eyes, like a predator. “Answer my Question.” His voice was stoic, strong, and full of Venom, which scares you to the core. “I’m Y/n L/n…” My voice was quiet, not confident, I almost couldn’t even hear myself. He clicked his tounge, now annoyed about you being so quiet. His demeanor changed every second, how can I please him without risking of dying?

“You’re very quiet, huh?” His voice pierced through the quiet halls, making me feel very uncomfortable. My head sank, trying to show submissive, like a weak small animal. He tapped on his throne impatiently, tears daring to spill. He sighs and moves around his chair to get a better look at you. Sukuna grabbed your chin, griping your chin hard, so hard that it felt like splitting in two. He pulled your chin towards him, my eyes looked down at my feet. “Look at me.” He literally growled like a predator. I looked at him, his eyes seem to glow in a very deep ruby red.

He licked his lips while looking down at your chest. His face was all the sudden 1cm apart from mine. Then I felt his tounge running down from my cheek to my ear, making me slightly moan from the sudden friction between my legs. “You should’ve put on something… shorter.” He whispered in my ear, making me slightly blush but also angry. ‘I’m really starting to dislike him’ I huffed, Sukuna didn’t take the silence very well. “I really dislike you.” He growled and took his plate out of my hand, which I totally forgot that I had his food. He laid it on something that I couldn’t clearly see. All the sudden he punched my face with ease, making me fall down the stairs.

It hurts, so bad. My whole face hurt and pulsated, my whole body shook, and blood dripped down from my mouth. I held out my hand, it was moving uncontrollable. I looked up to Sukuna, the Monster, Rage, and hate filled my heart as I saw him smiling like a proud father. I hate him already. He called the demon soldier to bring me away from him, from it. I hate him so much. I looked at him with pure hate as the soldiers carried me through the room. I turned my head a little to get a better look at the “thing” or better the slave. It was a boy, barely 12. His whole body was covered in scars, fresh wounds, and dirty clothes. It made me so Angry to see this poor boy like this.

Pain, you could only feel the pain through your whole body. A needle was shoved into your neck and your body slowly gave up power. Everything began to spin again, not going to lie it scared me. Where do they take me? To Prison? I held out my hand towards Fatmanur, she witnessed it all, she looked at me with pity in her eyes. How long did she watch this scene? Sukuna looked towards Fatmanur with boredom then looked back at how you’re being dragged away.

…

I woke up again in my Room, but it all seemed like a blur. Am I maybe dreaming? It all seemed like a nightmare. An endless nightmare. It may be not a dream but indeed it was a nightmare, A nightmare I’ll never wake up from. My own Living hell. Thoughts are rushing in my mind; it was all too much. The last days have finally caught up. Before I knew it tears dripped down on the wooden ground, sniffles became crying and then to a panic attack. What ever I’ve done, I don’t deserve this.

No one did, it all doesn’t make sense anymore. I hate it here; I hate him, and I hate myself. But why? I don’t have an answer for that. Maybe fresh air will help me, help my frustration. I got up from the futon I laid on, walking towards the mini balcony I had. I opened the door, and my eyes met the beautiful sight to the woods. Looking to my left I saw A person with white hair, and he had bandages on, weird.

He seems like he’s looking for something, or someone? Maybe I should ask him if he needs help, but is it against the rules? I looked to the wall and then back to him, his head was positioned as if he’s looking at me directly in the eyes. I blinked and now he’s sitting on my balcony his face right Infront of me. Forgetting the Mental breakdown, I just had, I started to blush, even with those bandages he’s very handsome. “Interesting, what do we have here?” He chuckled as he lifted his hand to stroke my cheek.

“So soft, what is doing such a pretty girl in this kind of surrounding. It’s not safe here.” He said with a serious tone, the hand lowering themselves back to his knees. “I work here. I answered shallow, I still feel so empty. “And you aren’t his fuck doll? Very Interesting.” He talked to himself as If I’m not right Infront of him. He slowly pulled of his bandages revealing the most stunning and scary eyes I’ve ever seen in my whole life.

He started to laugh all the sudden, can he read my mind? His smirk only widened, “You’re very Interesting, no wonder Sukuna keeps you. Something about you is different.” He licked his lips and tried to touch me again, but his hand was showing some kind of magical power? He pulled his arm away from me, and it started to burn. He hums, “are you really so Important?” he whispered talked to him again, “you do know that I hear you.” I said and he just kept on chuckling. “My name is Gojo Satoru, my dear Y/n. Remember that name, it will not be the last time we will see each other.”

And then he disappeared, just like he came. Gojo Satoru then, huh. I feel so tired now as if I ran a marathon. Even though all I did was standing up and walking a little. Maybe I should really lay down and take some rest. I went back to the futon and lay down on it, closing my eyes I heard footsteps. A deep sigh hallowed through the room. Maybe it’s Sukuna? But why would he come here, to me? “I know you’re awake.” he stated as he crouched down to me, I felt cold fingers on my forehead and a weird feeling came over my body.

My Body tensed hearing him talk to me, “You’re quite Interesting, maybe I should keep you.” He continues and ignores how tens I was. Was his plan to kill me all along? Why am I Interesting? The pain I felt on my feet and on my head slowly disappeared. He sighed and let his fingers slide down to my cheeks making them feel a thousand time hotter. “don’t make me regret my decision.” He whispered in my ear, he slowly stood up and left the room. He Left me lying in this room all alone, making this small room bigger than it already was.

“What a pain in the Ass,” I grumbled, “How much I want to make him suffer.”.

…

The next morning was boring and uncomfortable silent in the halls, and everyone seemed to mind their own business. My morning routine was almost like every other day, dressing up, put on some make up and go to work. But this time it is different, this time I’m not in my hometown. This time I’m in my personal hell. With a heavy breath I stepped out of my Room, looking towards “Masters” room.

“There you are! I was so worried.” A familiar voice spoke up at me. I turned around to see Fatmanur standing next to me, a relieved sigh left me, and I smiled at her. “Are you okay? That slap from Master Sukuna caught all of us off guard.” She whispered, scared that he might hear us. A phantom pain hit me as I recalled the event in my head. “Yeah, I feel a lot better. Thank you.” I said to her back and thanked her when she gave me chocolate.

“Where did you get the chocolate?” I asked surprised that a place like this has chocolate. “I work at the kitchen, and I suggested to make some sweets for master’s guests,” She laughed proud out loud, “and some for us.”. I let out a laugh. I don’t know how she’s doing it that she’s in a good mood but it’s infectious. “Wow, two ugly Monkeys at Master Sukuna’s hallway? Kind of rude don’t you think.” And it’s the Bitch Nastja, destroying the Harmonie we had this morning.

I took a deep breath, letting her Insult me. She’s masters favorite so I must be careful around her. “I think you should keep your mouth shut, Nastja.” Fatmanur glared at Nastja, and she left out a puff. “Oh? Look brat I am the master’s lovely maiden, so you better shut your mouth, or it is over for you, you scum.” She growled out, the air between the two getting thicker. “What is going on? Shouldn’t you all work?” Uraume broke the tension like a snap. The Bitch and Fatmanur huffed, Fatmanur bid you a goodbye and left the way like she came here. The Bitch is already gone leaving you and Uraume alone.

“That was Intense.” I looked over at Uraume who just let out a smile. “Seems like you’re all healthy now,” His soft Voice always surprised me. It reminds me of a Sunset in the summer. Warm and welcoming, but who knows what lays beneath it. Maybe A serial killer who just wants to get unleashed, or a Scientist who just wants to do experiments on Humans. Or. He’s like us, a Prisoner from Sukuna, but that wouldn’t make sense he’s like him a Demon.

I hummed at him, waiting for my new Task for the day. “Master Sukuna has a meeting today with the God of wisdom. You shall come with him and grand him assist.” And with that he left, leaving a note on the ground. “God of wisdom?” I started to read the Letter.

God of wisdom

His name is Geto Suguru, Age is unknown. The meeting is in the evening against 7PM. Wait for Master Sukuna, he’ll bring you to the meeting room. He doesn’t like humans, he despites them.

“He doesn’t like humans. Why should I then attend?” I asked out loud, looking confused at this letter. Couldn’t he just tell me this eye to eye?

Weakness: Unknown

Reason of the meeting: Private

This really was confusing, why would he want you to attend to such an Important meeting? You’re not sure why you out of all servants, maybe because you’re a Butler one out of ten? But why didn’t he just choose the Bitch? Too many questions ran through my head.

Footsteps started to echo across the halls, they were light as a feather, but they felt heavy like a rock. A deep chuckle went from the halls right through your bones. “The little slumber butler. What are you waiting for?” It’s him, he was standing right behind me, my heart started to pound heavy, and my breath was so loud all the sudden. You turned around facing him, but not looking him in the eyes. You don’t look him in the eyes, you’re not allowed to. It could be your death sentence.

“I was reading the letter I received from Uraume.” you mumbled, he huffed annoyed by your shyness. “Why so quiet all the sudden?” you wanted to say something, but nothing came out of your mouth. It seemed like your words were holding on to your throat, scratching the inside of your throat open. Why Am I so afraid of him? “Cat got your tongue?” His deep laughter filled the castle, making me flinch. He leaned down on my ear, “Don’t disappoint me, you’ll not get a second chance.” Your world seemed to pause, the cold breeze hitting on your sweaty body. His tone was threatening and not welcoming at all, you better not fuck this up.

…

You waited in front of Sukuna’s bedroom He should come out in couple of minutes. ‘How did I end up here.’ You thought, it was humiliating to be pushed around like some peasant. A shadow towered over you; you looked up to the source of it. Sukuna stood tall over you his eyes showing his coldness and power, It was overwhelming and scary at the same time. “Just follow me.” Sukuna was very strict and seemed somehow tense, what is the meaning of this meeting, what could make him nervous?

I followed him through the scary monotone halls. There is no Soul in here, no life. You opened your mouth to say something but quickly shut it remembering that Sukuna isn’t a chatty man and only speaks with commands. Would you annoy him by asking any question? You choose to stay rather silent, you don’t want to risk your life because of your Personal noisy nature. Sukuna stepped in front of a huge door; the door opens by itself making you step inside in a slow-pase. You hesitate to go inside; you had a bad feeling for what waits for the two of you behind this door.

In the room was a huge table in the middle with chairs around it. It reminds you of a head quarter from politicians or some management. There were only a few people, if you can even call those things human, sitting in these chairs. Sukuna sat down on the Black chair, or rather throne, the chair was much larger and more majestic. On the side was another Black chair but in smaller, you sat on it hoping that Sukuna won’t scold you for doing something without his permission. But to your surprise he only glared at you and muttered a “We’ll talk about your ‘misbehaving’ after this meeting.” You just nod and your hands started to shake, you take a glimpse at the other creatures in this room.

There was an Angel like guy with dark, long hair. He had pure Black wings and a wicked like smile on his face, which kind of scared you off. You started to look onto the ground, his aura seemed off and evil? But he was still so elegant and a beauty himself? “Nice to see you again Mr. Ryomen, it’s been so long. And I can see you brought a human with you? Isn’t this kind of a meeting very private?” You took a deep breath to not get panic, you can feel his degrading stare and annoyance. Sukuna only chuckled, “Do you really think you can command me around? She’s only a peasant of a creature, a fly. She’s not going to bother this meeting, maybe even the quite opposite.” This statement didn’t make you feel any kind of better, it just made your Anxiety higher than it already is.

“We shall start.” He announced. “You wanted to discuss with me your Future plans with the gods, Geto?” Sukuna asked the Man called Geto, “That’s correct, you know Mr. Ryomen aren’t you bored to be played with the gods? They threw you away as if you’re nothing but an unwanted child.” The tension started to rise when Geto talked about this topic, but what there’s one thing that you didn’t understand. What did he mean by the gods? And how could Sukuna get thrown out by gods? He’s a demon, he shouldn’t even be allowed to stay in heaven or was that the reason why they abounded him? Are Gods even true beings?

So many Questions ran through your head, and the meeting has just begun. Sukuna lets out a sigh, “I recommend you not to run your tounge in other business, curiosity killed the cat, right?” I didn’t have to look up to see the dangerous, warning smile he has. Geto nervously laughed, “Sorry Mr. Ryomen, I will get to my point.” He apologized and his head was bowed down in a respectful manner. “My plan is to kill the upper Gods and become the ruler of heaven.” Sukuna began to laugh loudly and looked at Geto as if he’s stupid. “Oh? And you want me to help you, correct?” His laughing slowly calmed down.

“That’s correct.” He said with a huge smile. “No.” Sukuna said all serious. “Ryomen listen to me, you’ll get your revenge on these fuckers! Isn’t this what you wanted?” He was standing now, fighting to bring Sukuna on his side. Sukuna didn’t answer, he was probably thinking about it. “I accept your offer; it’s been too long since I’ve been in a war. We’ll continue or talk another day, Geto. I have Important things to do, go somewhere and have your fun while staying here. Follow me human.”

You stood up very quickly, maybe a bit too fast, the guy named Geto laughed at you. “I think you scared her Sukuna.” The room tension rose so quickly it was too fast for you, you looked up at Geto seeing Sukuna lifting him up with a choke hold, “I may have agreed on your little plan but that doesn’t we are friends, you’re just some maggot who got wings to flap around. I can kill you any second, don’t forget that Geto.” Geto started to get all blue and you were in trance, in panic even, but you couldn’t move and couldn’t look away.

“Human we are leaving.” He huffed and let his victim fall like a bird that got his wings cut off. Sukuna started to walk out of the room. His footsteps were heavy and still soundless, you could hear Getos coughing down the hall, Sukuna clicked his tounge annoyed by Getos weakness. You still didn’t understand, is taking revenge on the gods so Important to Sukuna that he’d risk his life?

…

Sukuna was walking back to his chamber, and you went in your own room. Taking a deep breath and stumbling on your bed. “That was too much for me, I should take a bath.” You stood up taking your stuff and asked Uraume where the bath was, he showed you right away. The way you saw the Butch Nastja flirting with some guard men, disgusting. You undressed yourself and took s small shower, you then walked down to the small hot spring. Setting a foot in felt like heaven, you let out a loud sigh of relief. The stress and the horror were all the sudden not in your head, it was clear and refreshing, Relaxing even.

You must find a way to get out of this hell. You started to think about possibility, but you were stopped by light footsteps, your heartbeat raised, and you started to get panic. Who was that? Another Butler or maid?

And there he just stood, Sukuna Ryomen, completely exposed to you and entering the hot spring where you were in. You were overwhelmed with the sight in front of you, you bowed your head and started to get up. “Wasn’t expecting a peasant like you here. Stay, accompany me, entertain me.” He said in a low voice and looked at you like a predator. You turned around, still not looking into his eyes, “Look at me.” He ordered and your eyes shortly met his ones. Your breath caught up in your throat, since when were you holding your breath? You opened your mouth, but it was cut off by crashing windows. 5 Men with weapons attacked you but were sliced into different pieces, the blood spurted all on you, now you were sure you must take a bath. Sukuna groaned in annoyance, now his mood was completely ruined by some fucked up Jujutsu sorcerers.

“Are they crazy or something?” You whispered to yourself, “They wanted to kill someone,” You took the towel and covered your chest and your private area, the white towel now crimson red. “They weren’t after me.” You raised your brow, “Who then...?” You asked yourself. “Isn’t that obvious human?”

chapter 3

#y/n #sukunaxreader #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #gojo #god #demon #au #trueformsukunaxreader #true form sukuna #slow burn #geto #jujutsu kaisen #Shapard #Pathetic

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failedbyfanime · 5 months

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Hi, I'm choosing to remain anonymous but you can call me TL (not my real name nor my initials), I go by she/her and identify as an asexual cis-female. I do not wear cosplay when I go to Fanime and prefer to just dress in comfortable jeans, t-shirt, and tennis shoes. When Fanime came back in 2022, I was excited and was enjoying myself by going to all the usual things but most of all, I love going to panels. I love seeing all the passion that panelists put into putting on a great show and giving us a space to connect and laugh.

One panel about a certain childhood cartoon game and show had a trivia show Saturday night and I volunteered to play in one of their mini games involving cornhole. There were three other attendees and me for a total of four and we were split into two teams.There was me and a lovely gentleman and the other team consisted of two other male attendees, one of whom was wearing a corn cob costume, whom I will refer to as Corncob. While my teammate and I were duking it out over the cornhole games, the panelists were getting things set up for the next mini game.

Eventually the game ended and my teammate and I won so after we high fived each other and celebrated, we went to give the other team fist bumps for a game well played. The audience saw earlier some fake outs of the fist bumps but it was all in good fun and smiles as people went back to properly give people their deserved fist bumps. I decided to do that to Corncob knowing that I was always going to give him one after faking him out. Instead, after I faked out fist bump, as I walked by I felt a very hard and jarring smack to my gluteal area. Or in layman's terms, he hit my ass with his hand without my consent. Now, I'm not big or tall by any means. I'm a very slender and average sized woman but the impact of the hit jolted me forward and I instantly cried out very loudly and repeatedly "That's not okay, THAT'S NOT OKAY." I said that in front of the audience who were talking amongst themselves and right in front of the long table of panelists who were engrossed in their laptops or talking to each other getting the next thing on their agenda ready.

No one reacted. NO ONE IN THE AUDIENCE IN FRONT OF ME REACTED. No one except my teammate who saw the whole thing happen and came to my defense. I had never lost my faith in humanity and the Fanime community as I did in that moment. He was just as in shock as I was. I remember him saying "Did you really just hit her?" I kept saying the same three words because I couldn't process what had just happened to me. He was trying to understand the situation and thought that Corncob and I knew each other. Corncob was shocked when someone saw what happened and spoke up and he immediately said he was sorry but his intent was clear. Corncob was trying to get out of the situation and escape responsibility for his actions of sexually assaulting me.

My teammate helped me get my stuff and we left the room to find a staff member. I was pretty much still in shock and close to having a panic attack. We left the room and told a staff member what happened who then radioed for someone. My teammate gave them the story and wished me well before heading back into the room to watch the rest of the panel.

I was led to the panelists' room where there was a female staff member and refreshments for all the panelists. I sat down, feeling everything at this point. I had brought with me a plushy of one of the marine/arctic creatures (based on a mythical creature from Scotland) of the childhood game that I grew up playing and just hugged her and started sobbing. I could feel the impact of the hit to my gluteal area, his hand on my body from the split second, and the pain from my bad left knee from when I braced myself after being hit to prevent me from falling. Soon after, a male staff member and a female staff member from con ops came and introduced themselves and took my story. I couldn't get through it without crying and the female staff member comforted me and held my hand as I recounted the story. After we were done, I received both their phone numbers and the female staff member and a different male staff member escorted me out to my car.

As we were leaving, I saw that the panel was just letting people out but there was the male con op staffer and his superior as well as security who were right by the door as attendees were leaving. The female staff member told me that they were there to kick Corncob out for the rest of Fanime for that year. She quickly rushed me out as I didn't want to see him or start crying again in public. I made it to my car and drove home.

The next morning, after I spent the night not sleeping, I texted the male con op staffer and asked if I would be safe to come back to the con. I also enquired what had happened to Corncob. He texted saying that he wasn't allowed to give me any further information other than Corncob was talked to and escorted out of the convention. He also stated that I was safe from him. I sure as hell did not feel safe whatsoever.

Fast forward to 2023, I was excited but cautiously optimistic about going back to Fanime and enjoying myself. I was walking back from the parking garage from dropping off some Artist Alley goodies and Vendor Hall purchases to my car when I saw Corncob. He was still in the exact same costume that he had assaulted me in. I instantly froze and started to hold my breath to the point of nearly passing out. I waited for Corncob and his friend who was wheelchair bound to walk out of my sight before I tried to calm myself down. I wasn't able to so I found the closest person to con-ops I could who was a lady in a yellow polo from the contracted security Fanime hired who saw that I was very clearly in a panic attack and helped me behind the curtained area where badge pick up had wrapped up for the day. She caught me as my knees gave out and I was sobbing and hyperventilating. She was incredibly kind and stayed with me while radioing for help and for someone from con-ops to come. From here, I don't remember much other than a female con-ops staffer came and we talked. As I was leaving the curtained off badge pick up area, there he was at a distance. Corncob and his friend were near the main entrance. I fell back into another panic attack and the staff member pulled me into the badge pick up area when she saw him in front of me. Eventually, he left the con for the night and the staff member asked what panels I was going to be attending for the rest of the weekend so she made a note that Corncob wasn't allowed to attend those panels and that I was allowed to enter the rooms early so I can make sure for my safety that he wasn't there.

The next day, I was browsing Idris' closet, doing some thrift shopping because I found some nice clothes and dresses. I was rounding the corner and ran almost smack dab into Corncob and his friend. By smack dab, I mean by five feet from my face. I ran back further into the room to find the alterations staffer whom I had talked to earlier that weekend and was trying to tell her what was happening and helped me hide as she also radioed for help and another staffer helped me into the room adjacent to give me space to have my third panic attack of the weekend. The staffer helped me calm down and took my mind off the situation. A different con-ops staffer came in (she was dressed as Maleficent) and talked to me about what happened. I told her that I thought that Corncob was banned from ever coming back to Fanime after what had happened to me with the sexual assault. She told me that unfortunately unless he has a police report against Corncob, Fanime as an NGO could not permanently ban an attendee from coming every year. She did tell me that Corncob does have a history of offenses at Fanime and this year, there was a staffer who always has eyes on him as he was on his last chance and extremely thin ice for his behavior towards both staff and other attendees. I did not see him for the rest of the convention.

As I finish writing this, I have a few thoughts. Fanime NEEDS TO DO BETTER. It shouldn't take me having to experience being sexually assaulted one year and having three panic attacks the next year just at the sight of the fucking corn costume to know that fundamentally attendees who are victims need to be protected from their perpetrator and to prevent situtions like mine from happening.

Do I realize that I had a relatively "mild" sexual assault compared to other victim who have have much worse crimes comitted against him? Yes, I do. But it does not make me any less vocal about this. If your reaction is that I "just" had a smack on the ass and I need to get over it, I want you to put yourself in my shoes. Or any victim's shoes of having their bodies touched against their will and without their consent. I still have nightmares to this day about that one encounter and I constantly fear for my safety when I go to any cosplay convention or large groups of people.

I was strongly considering becoming a Fanime con-ops staffer this year so I can prevent situations like mine and worse from happening. However, with all the stories of top management screwing things up and departments receiving less support than what even retail workers would get, I'm hesitant. We are just about a month out and I'm still contemplating whether or not to apply for this year, next year, or just waiting until the situation gets better for those who help run Fanime.

Two things to note, the staff who helped me in 2022 and 2023 were nothing less than phenomenal to me. They constantly took care of me, even if they couldn't give me the answers I wanted due to bullshit policies, they people themselves were supportive and I couldn't get through the situations without them. If you are reading this, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I returned back to the panel in 2023 and spoke to the panelists who were shocked to meet me and even more shocked to see that I returned. They were extremely apologetic and made very notable changes after they had learned of my assault right in front of them the year prior and had taken no actions. They learned, they adapted, and they made things better and safer from not just me, but everyone who attended their hilarious panel. That needs to be the standard response that Fanime needs to have towards these kinds of situations. Will that make things hard on attendees for a little bit? Yes, but will it make things safer for everyone? Also yes.

My last thought on all of this is if you see something, DO SOMETHING.

#fanime #failedbyfanime #fanimecon

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babyspacebatclone · 11 months

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Oh wow….

That was a mini panic attack.

I went to search a behavioral principle I remember to reference in another post, because I like knowing I’m not hallucinating stuff.

First result had a name I recognized, and I jumped when I realized it was the asshole I took 400 ABA from in college.

The asshole I tried to get a complaint on because he literally told students that “Non-ABA psychology will be viewed in the future as equivalent to witch trials.”

All fucking non-ABA.

And not just the students in his fucking ABA classes… He taught three classes, intro to ABA, my 400 ABA, and a fucking 200 general discipline, and the blog post he had on that was assigned reading for all three fucking classes as written on his fucking blog.

And it was pointless because this asshole was “tenured.”

Fucking piece of shit.

He’s retired now, praise reality, but that’s why encountering a blog post from after I graduated is still live made me want to cry for a split second.

….

No idea what on said blog post, obviously I’m not hurting myself by reading anything he had written.

….

Oh, wait, after checking it’s not that he’s retired, well, um, I actually feel compassionately sorrowful to see that…

Ok, nice to know I honestly don’t wish death on anyone, good to learn!

…..

Anyway, I’m off to see if I can finally find the name of his bestie who wrote the textbook we used so I can prove how fucked up the ABA I was taught by a prominent member of the profession was.

(I can’t reference him specifically, because I’m not doxxing info on myself and he’a best know for the college I went to.)

#tw babybat swears #tw aba mention #tw aba therapy #actually traumatized #i can make no shit up #about this asshole

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toms-cherry-trees · 3 years

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All We Have Is Each Other || Victoria Shelby

Summary: The youngest Shelby brings on the biggest scares

Word count: 2425

Warnings: Infant illness, some swearing, no proofreading

Author’s note: This was sort of inspired from last week’s experience of having to look after my niece with adenovirus (she also has kidneys issues so big panic but she’s doing well)

Taglist: @alandofmyth @nickwilding

Let me know if you wanna be in my taglist

(I know the gif is not Tommy fight me. I got it from Google, not sure who the artist is)

When you struggle every day to get by and money leaves your pockets faster than you can earn it back, a vital part of survival implies staying healthy. No money means no doctors, no hospitals and no medicines. A poor person knows that illness and poverty do not mix well together, and a little cough could turn into a one way ticket to the nearest graveyard. Amongst so many tragedies in their lives, at least all of the Shelbys had been blessed by fate with an iron strong health. All of them but one.

From the moment of her birth, Victoria had been a survivor. The old midwives who attended Rose Shelby on her last delivery deemed the baby too small and frail, struggling to draw in every breath, murmuring that she wouldn’t live to see the sunrise. Then they said she wouldn’t make it to Christmas. Then, she wouldn’t survive the winter. But every day Victoria proved them wrong, slowly, ever so slowly gaining weight and health, rosy replacing the paleness of her cheeks and little rolls filling her legs and arms. Even after Rose’s tragic demise, when they couldn’t figure out how to feed her, and definitely didn’t have the ways to afford a wet nurse, the little girl hadn’t given up and proved herself to be a true, strong Shelby.

That didn’t mean their worries were soothed, no. Even the slightest sign of discomfort sent the family spiralling into panic, fearing the old days of frail health would come back and fate would once and for all cruelly claim their sister’s life like those of so many other kids of her age. It had simply become part of the routine to listen closely to her breathing at night and count carefully every bottle she drank and every nappy she went through. Keeping Victoria alive and well had become the family’s main goal, and they believed themselves to be doing a great job at it. Slowly, Tommy stopped having mini heart attacks every time she breathed too fast, and Polly didn’t fret whenever she had just half a bottle of milk instead of a full one. The worst had passed and the upcoming summer promised warm days and healthy children. Or so they thought.

One early evening the entire family had gathered around the small kitchen table, eagerly wolfing down their meager dinner. Polly had her spoon in one hand and in the other Victoria, the child leaning against her chest; halfway through falling asleep. Not a noise could be heard besides the scratching of cutlery against plates, that was, until the littlest Shelby broke into a fit of coughing, which abruptly ended with the poor thing spilling the contents of her stomach down the front of Polly’s apron and breaking into hysteric crying. Pol rushed to stand and sat the baby on John’s lap as she tried to clean herself. John attempted to rock Vicky to calm her, but the second he touched her, he retreated his hand as if he had touched an open flame.

“What’s the matter?” Ada inquired, after nearly being hit in the face by her brother’s elbow.

Meanwhile John looked as if he had come across death herself “She- she’s fucking burning. How didn’t I notice before she’s like a damn furnace” His fingertips kept pressing against her forehead and cheeks, almost as if John was trying to believe he had made a mistake and it was just his hands being the wrong temperature, not his sister.

In a split second everyone had gathered around Victoria, Arthur pulling at his hair and Tommy scolding himself for not noticing sooner her ragged breaths and her glazed eyes. The old terrors came tumbling over them like an avalanche, paralyzing them with fear and not allowing them to think clearly. Polly was the only who remained level headed, having had children of her own and having cared for this girl since the moment she left the womb.

“John, grab Finn and put him to bed. I don’t know if it is contagious and we can’t afford them both getting sick. Ada, put water to boil in the big pot and the kettle. Arthur, you go knock on Mrs. Woodward door and tell her to come quickly, she owes me a big favour” She turned to face Tommy, who had gone pale as if he was about to be sick himself “You take her up and get her off those dirty clothes, I’m going to prep her a bath”

Everyone rushed to do as they were told, Ada nearly tripping over her own feet as she went to fill the pots, while John struggled to wrestle a very annoyed Finn up the stairs. Tommy’s hands trembled while he carried a still howlering Vicky to the small bathroom and dropped her stained clothes on the sink. Now that he paid more attention, he noticed only her cheeks were red, for the rest of her body had acquired a ghostly pale tone, allowing him to see the tiny blood vessels under the skin. The muscles in between and under her ribs sucked in dramatically with every laborious breath.

Reality had somehow turned into Tommy’s worst nightmare. Nursing that little girl to health had been an uphill battle, but right now it felt as if they had rolled right back at the bottom. Tom was painfully aware of the emptiness of his pockets, and knew that even if they gathered all the money they had, they wouldn’t even be able to afford a cough syrup. Keeping a child alive was a hard task, and the brothers had given everything they had to keep their young ones alive. But right now it seemed as if that hadn’t been enough. They hadn’t been enough.

Polly interrupted his disastrous train of thought by entering the bathroom, carrying a steaming pot and a ragged towel hanging from her arm, closely followed by Ada with the kettle. Both stopped in their tracks when they found Tommy sitting on the edge of the bathtub, cradling Victoria into his chest, silent tears sliding down his cheeks. He seemed to be mumbling something into her ear, inaudible to them. He didn’t move from his spot as Polly got the water to the right temperature; and barely even looked up as his baby sister was pried away from his embrace and placed into the tub.

Polly gave Ada a single look; the girl immediately got the hint, silently slipping out of the bathroom and giving the elders a little bit more privacy.

“She will be fine” Polly mumbled after a while, breaking the unbearable silence. It wasn’t clear if she said that to reassure Tommy, or herself “She has not survived everything she has gone through just to go down with a pathetic flu” Her motherly hands moved with expertise only acquired after having children, hurriedly washing and drying the baby before she could get cold “You all have gone through things like this and you were fine”

“You know I am not afraid of many things Pol” It was true. Tommy only feared a handful of things, but those fears were greater than the world itself. He feared the poverty his family could sink in anyday. He feared losing what little they had earned through sweat and blood. He feared their efforts not being enough and having their young ones taken away by the parish “But I think nothing terrifies me more than losing Vicky. If she dies” He had to force the word out of his mouth like it was venom in his tongue “I’m sure this whole family is dying with her”

“You talk as if we were already laying her down on the churchyard” She regretted those words the moment they were uttered, noticing her nephew visibly flinch, as if her statement had physically hurt him “Here” She handed him Victoria, tightly tucked in the thin towels “Dress her up while I warm up in the kids’ room”

“No. She is sleeping in my bedroom tonight” Polly was quick to open her mouth and protest, but Tommy gave her a rather pitiful look “Let me have this win. You know I could not sleep anyway. Not with her like this” He kept his head down, gaze focused on his sister as he held back tears again, shaky fingers fumbling with the sleeves and buttons of the nightgown.

While most of the initial fuss had subsided, Arthur still hadn’t come back with Mrs. Woodward, and they still had no idea what to do with Victoria. All they had at hand to soothe her were damp clothes to bring down the fever, and different herbs prepped into a sort of warm infusion that the baby refused to drink, now matter how hard they tried to trick her into opening her mouth. Seconds ticked down dreadfully, every minute dragging immensely as they tried to calm the crying child and put her down to sleep, hoping that some rest could cure whatever ailment afflicted her, and they were too poor to treat.

Midnight struck with no signs of improvement, while Arthur returned alone, with nothing but advice to try and give her rice water, and a half-dependable promise to drop by the next morning. Tommy had ushered everyone out of his room, even Polly, and laid Victoria down on his own bed, her ragged breaths and feeble cries piercing his heart with a thousand needles. Even though he could not be to blame for anything, in his eyes, he had failed his sister and therefore failed his mother’s memory.

He had simply resorted to sitting on a pillow on the floor, chin propped onto his thin mattress, his eyes never moving away from his sister’s chest, carefully counting each rise and fall of her breaths. How many minutes ticked by like that he didn’t know, but he had almost dozed off when his door creaked open, the faces of Arthur and John peeking in through the gap. He jerked up so quickly he almost knocked over the basin with the towels and the cup with rice water he had unsuccessfully tried to give to his sister.

“We just wanted to check how she was doing” John explained almost apologetically, after the sudden noises awoke Victoria and caused her to break into yet another fit of silent cries, since she had already screamed herself hoarse.

“Just the same” Tommy stifled a yawn into his arm as he replaced the now warm towels with new ones, mentally scolding himself for falling asleep. His neck felt stiff and his joints already ached from the uncomfortable position he had been sitting on. Arthur plopped onto the single chair in the room, while John sat near his brother, chewing nervously onto his bottom lip.

“Why don’t we call a doctor. We could sell some things” Arthur mulled over, very well aware that there wasn’t much left to sell. The only valuable thing they had were a few jewels belonging to their mother, and they had agreed as a family to sell them only when they were stuck between that and living under a bridge. John made sure to quickly cut that idea “It’s two in the fucking morning Arthur, where are you going to go and find yourself a doctor, eh?”

“There has to be someone in this bloody city. If you are not going to help then -”

“Shut the fuck up, both of you” Tommy could already feel a vein popping in his temple, but whether it was caused by sheer stress or his brothers’ bickering, he couldn’t tell. All he knew was that they were not helping anyone like that “We are going to stand watch and wait. If things get worse, I’m bringing a doctor down at gunpoint if I have to” Tommy usually tried to bite down his temper, since the last thing he needed was to be thrown in a jailhouse, but he wouldn’t hesitate to go to any lengths to help his family “We can figure it out the rest later” Tommy himself had been in full panic a few hours ago, but seeing his own family panicking pulled him together enough. Someone had to keep the head above the water, and he couldn’t exactly count on his brothers to do that.

Without any arguments to contradict, and at loss for a better plan, the three brothers sat down and watched. Waited and watched. At some point through the night Ada joined in, claiming she couldn’t sleep. Then Arthur brought in Finn, stating they couldn’t leave him alone. Shortly after John brought in every pillow in the house, complaining that the floor was too hard to sit on. Ada came a bit later with blankets, since the floorboards were cold. Every time someone dozed off, one of the babies started to cry for whatever reason. The black skies had faded into a stormy grey before anyone got anything remotely close to real rest.

The following morning, Polly did her usual early round on the children. Great was her surprise when she found every bed empty. Not even Finn in his cot. Her frantic steps rushed down the hallway, trying to enter Tommy’s bedroom, but finding the door jammed. Pushing a bit more, she came across one of the sweetest scenes in her life. All of the Shelbys were crammed together in Thomas’ tiny room, occupying every last inch of space available. The floor was a tangled mess of hairs, limbs and bedding, Ada had cocooned herself with most of the blankets, leaving Arthur and John to hug each other for warmth. Tommy had his head against his nightstand in a very awkward position, lanky limbs sprawled as uncomfortably as possible. On the bed were the youngest Shelbys, Finn sucking onto his thumb, his free arm crossed over his sister’s chest. Victoria’s eyes were wide open, still pale but much closer to normal, and she looked quite pleased to see her aunt, making grabby hands at her. Polly did her best to tiptoe around the minefield of Shelbys and grab her youngest niece to give her a much deserved breakfast. She didn’t even bother to try and wake the others, they all looked like they could do with some more sleep. Polly smiled to herself as she went down the stairs, reliving the image again in her mind.

The Shelby family may not have much, but they had each other. As long as they had that, they would be fine no matter what.

#my post #my writing #victoria shelby #shelby sister oc #shelby sister #shelby reader #tommy shelby #arthur shelby #john shelby #finn shelby #polly shelby #thomas shelby #peaky blinders #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders x sister #peaky blinders one shot #peaky blinders x sister oc

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sardonic-the-writer · 3 years

Text

c!Ranboo x Reader

━"Voices"

━Ranboo

━Tw: Panic attack

━Note: This was requested by @for-the-rEVOLution Here you go mate, I hope it's alright!I was so excited to do my first request. Hope it meets your standards dude :D

━Song: "Body" By Mother Mother

━GN!

Talking. That was all he could hear. Day and night, the constant overlapping of dozens of voices, all of them yelling over each other.

The sound that stayed dormant in the hybrid's brain was akin to a horribly tuned T.V, one that spat static instead of playing shows with cheery cartoons. It was like the rustling of dry grass on a windy day by a waterfall. It drowned out nearly everything else in its path.

Of course, there were moments where it would come to a halt. Whether it be for a split second, or just disappearing as if they had never been there in the first place.

Ranboo liked to savor those moments. He could pretend that nothing was wrong. That he didn't have a hoard of hostile people fighting to be heard inside his head.

The voices were less frequent in their visits nowadays. Ever since Ranboo had ventured from his original home, (he had heard some of the passing locals refer to it as "The End") he had more time to think to himself.

The tall boy ended up using those snippets of peace that got longer and longer with the passing days aboveground to do things that made him happy. He built a quaint little house that could barely fit his lanky frame, made friends with one of the neighboring boys- named Tubbo-, and even started a journal to record his daily journeys.

It was a dream come true.

Everyonce and a while, Ranboo would hear the crowd beginning to shout again, but he would make a quick call to Tubbo and they'd be quiet soon after

But not tonight.

---

The walls were closing in. It felt like his feet were weighted. The cold and damp texture of the cobblestone below him was the only thing stopping Ranboo from feeling as if he would float into space- flying higher and higher into the night sky until his lungs imploded and ribs broke.

Ranboo was huddled in a dark corner of his dimly lit kitchen, pulling his trouser covered legs close to his chest, Shuddering breaths left his black and white lips, lingering puffs of smoke from the cold atmosphere appearing in the air.

Hours had passed since the dreadful tale-tell sign of talking had started up. Immediately, Ranboo had dashed to his nearby communicator to contact Tubbo, but it turned out that the boy was out for an ill timed mining trip. He wouldn't be back for a day or two.

The hybrid had resorted to curling in on himself and writhing silently on the floor. He had forgotten how hard it was to cope with it all.

He had been a fool. A fool for thinking that they were gone for good. That they were never coming back.

But the screaming that he and he alone could hear was proof enough that the little fantasy he had been festering was wrong. His hope had vanished away in the blink of an eye, as if it were smoke that someone had waved their hand through mercilessly.

The constricting feeling in Ranboos chest grew; like a snake had planted itself in his chest, hatching slowly and painfully inside him before wrapping its scaly hide around his lungs. Every passing breath made this metaphorical animal squeeze tighter around him.

It would be a terrifying time for anyone.

Tears leaked from the corner of his lopsided vision, burning like a mini forest fire as it traveled down his stained cheeks. Ranboo couldn't even bring himself to wipe them away. His arms were too shaky anyways. He would have just smeared the liquid further, causing more pain.

A heart wracking sob burst from his lips. The boys normally deep voice combined with the sorrowful tone made for a haunting chorus. It was beautiful in a horrifying way; like if you had lit a flower on fire until it burned down to your fingertips.

"Hello."

Ranboo froze. His joints cemented in place, preventing him from moving any further.

"Are you okay?"

Ranboo forced himself to look up from his position on the tiled floor. His neck strained with the effort of it, a few pops sounding out.

A medium height figure was sitting across from him on the floor. They were sitting in such a relaxed way, you would have never guessed they just witnessed the worst panic attack of anyone's life.

The first thing that caught his eye was their skin. It reminded him of a nebula. Swirls of vibrant purple and blue hues danced around each other in delicate tango. Some warm reds had been thrown in as well, practically glowing with the contrast against the deeper pigments.

Multiple white dots had been splashed across their face, adorning their cheeks with tasteful freckles.

And their eyes...

They were a bright purple. Filled to the brim with amethyst wisdom.

Ranboos' breath hitched as he peered into them. Panic slowly drained from his body. A new sensation was welling up from inside. Something he hadn't felt for a long while.

Calm

He never tore his attention away from their eyes. Not even to watch as their lips pulled into a small smile. He was so immersed in the enchanting iris, that he completely missed as the loud noise from inside his consciousness floated away. Floating away until complete silence fell like a heavy morning fog.

"Would you like some help getting off that dreadful floor?" The purple eyed person asked after a moment. They had the most gravelly voice that he had heard in a long time. Like they had not spoken for a while.

Ranboo blinked once.

Twice

"U-uh yes that, that would be appreciated. Er-" He didn't know what to do. A stranger with the complexion of an unearthly being had just appeared in his kitchen, offering to help him stand up.

Their nose scrunched up suddenly, like they were displeased.

"I'm not an 'unearthly being''" They used quotation marks to emphasize their point. "I just look a little different from your average person. A lot like you Ranboo." They gestured to his whole body as an example to back them up.

At this point, Ranboo didn't need help getting up. He had already scrambled to his feet, towering over the person with a shocked look. Some panic had flowed back, but it was more contained and slow. Like honey in his system, it moved sluggishly.

After all, it did appear that they had just read his mind.

"H-how how, uh, how do you know my name. Are you, a g-god?" He sputtered. They sighed from below him in response.

"Have you not figured it out yet?"

"N-no."

They pinched the bridge of their nose with a small chuckle. They supposed that it was a bit bizarre to think about.

"I'm (Y/n). One of your voices."

Ranboo inhaled slowly. A voice....from inside his head.

Yes. That made complete sense. Alongside everything else on this smp. Afterall, if goat hybrids and three headed dragons existed, what's not to say the person in front of him couldn't either.

(Y/n) exhaled through her nose, a small sign that they were amused. Ranboo looked quite silly like this, his tall torso trembling with confusion as his multicolored eyebrows drew taunt. Such an intimidating person, yet he still chose to look completely harmless.

"Sorry if that weirds you out. But to be fair, you did kind of call me here." (Y/n) shrugged with closed eyes. Ranboo's mouth parted in a silent question. He didn't bother asking- not like his voice would let him at this point -but they both knew by now that they could read his mind. And for good reasons.

"Well, you were asking for the pain to stop. Never specified how. So-" They spread their stary arms out with a warm smile. "-here I am."

Ranboo couldn't help but look back into their eyes like before. Lilac pools of wisdom stared back unrelentingly. Calm washed over him in waves. When was the last time he has felt like this? Certainly not for a while.

"C'mon." (Y/n) patted the ground next to them after they had sat down. "We have much to talk about." They grinned.

Ranboo settled in next to them.

Maybe his voices weren't all so bad....

I shall edit and revise this later when I dont feel like dying. Bleh

Carved the L'manburg flag into a pumking, so that was cool! I also got Twitch and Discord for the first time too. Pog!

Shoutout to, ummm, I dont even know. Shoutout to all the people with tourette's I guess. You guys get pushed around and over looked a lot. Love you <3

Join my Discord. I need more sexy people /hj (Link in bio)

1502 words

-WayToSarcastic

#ranboo #c!ranboo #panic attack #ranboo x reader #dsmp #dsmp x reader #fanfiction #i actually love this #part 2 anyone?#possible romance arc

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nagipops · 3 years

Note

Denji and his s/o babysitting <3

BABY GIRL

FEATURING: denji!

SUMMARY: in which you and your baby-hating boyfriend embark on a secret mission too retrieve a pink plastic spoon.

WARNINGS: profanity, mentions of food

A/N: this is pure crack and chaos and i love it.

The image that came to mind for a “top secret mission” was definitely not the slobbering, babbling lump of a premature human wiggling around in front of you.

“I was expecting something a little more… menacing?”

“Hmph. Who does Aki think he is, assigning us to take care of this buggy caterpillar?”

You clapped a hand onto your boyfriend’s bony shoulder. “Well! Looks like it’s couple bonding day for us!”

“Ow, that hurt!” He swatted your hand away with a sweaty palm before he bashfully averted his gaze. “I… I hate babies. They scare me.”

“Hah! My brave, bold boyfriend… the almighty Chainsaw Man is afraid of mini adults?” You softly grasped his chin with your forefinger and thumb, fixing your eyes into a knowing gaze. “Good to know.”

You heard a grumble from behind you as you knelt down to meet the cooing baby at eye level. “Hello, Aiko, my boyfriend here is a big baby himself, so let’s all get along, alright?”

“Yaya!” The tiny girl waved her chubby arms in a gesture that looked suspiciously like she was pointing at the pouting boy behind you. “Ba-by!”

You flashed Denji a cheeky grin over your shoulder which was met with a dark scowl. “Yes, baby.” Snickering, you scooped the younger, smaller, diapered baby into your arms, lifting her up so she was face to face with the older, larger, hopefully-not-diapered baby. “This is Denji. Can you say Denji?”

“Benchee!” Aiko pressed her chubby little fingers onto your boyfriend’s face, smushing his eyes and nose under her tiny palm.

“Hey! I can’t— Bleh!” He struggled desperately as the baby giggled, mercilessly smacking his face. “Babe, help me out here?”

Chuckling, you pulled her into your chest once again. “Okay, Aiko, why don’t you go to papa’s arms for a little?”

“Papa— hey, if this is gonna be a new thing between us—” He stared in horror at the baby who was suddenly placed in his arms as his shoulders began to tremble. “Uhhhhhhhh…”

“Denji, hold still! Look up!” You centered his stunned face in the middle of your phone screen, snapping a barrage of photos of your bewildered boyfriend with a babbling baby in his arms. “Oh my god, this is adorable.”

“Stop taking— stop taking pictures and help me!” Aiko had begun to attack Denji’s face once again, yet this time, she was wailing like a siren with tears streaming down her chubby baby cheeks. His eyes widened with panic and fear as he frantically searched for something to distract her with. “She’s— shh, shh… don’t cry… (Y/N), she hates me!”

Grabbing what you hoped was her pacifier off of the coffee table in front of you, you tossed it to Denji who fumbled with it in one hand before plugging up the crying baby’s mouth with a pop.

Everyone in the room seemed to deflate at once, including Aiko.

“Ooookay, well, I think it’s time for a snack, because I’m hungry! You’re hungry too, right Denji?”

“No, actually before we came here I ate a slice of toast with—”

“I said, you’re hungry too, right Denji?”

He took one look into your pointed gaze and immediately caught on, bouncing the little girl in his arms. “Oh! Right, we are hungry, so let’s eat!”

Even Aiko seemed to perk up at that.

Denji stood with his hands on his hips, staring at the stocked refrigerator in front of him that was bursting at the seams.

“Well I’ll be damned.”

“Denji!” You clapped a hand over his mouth, casting a cautious glance at the baby over your shoulder. Sighing in relief to see her excitedly fiddling with a pink plastic spoon, you hissed into his ear, “Don’t swear!”

“Okay, okay! Sorry. But look at this, it’s heaven!” You could practically hear his voice melt as he slinked towards the refrigerator in a trance.

Dragging your boyfriend backwards by the back of his t-shirt, you slammed the fridge door shut. “Cut it out! She can’t even eat any of that stuff.” Grabbing his shoulders, you veered him to the marble countertops where an assortment of soft baby foods lay spread out.

His tongue immediately shot out of his mouth im disgust as he scanned the labels of the various jars. “Blech, spinach and pear? Cheese and carrot? Who’s designing this stuff?!” Seeming to search for the least grotesque flavor, his eyes lit up at a familiar label. “Ah, applesauce!”

“Sweet, let’s give that to her!” As Denji tossed the tiny cup into your hands, you ripped the lid off of the container and set it in front of Aiko, who was still fiddling with the plastic spoon in her hands. “Okay, time for yum-yums!” You attempted to reach for the pink utensil in her fubsy hands, but she immediately jerked it away from you. You tried to wrangle the spoon from her stubby little fingers once again, to no avail as she continued to wave it this way and that, just out of your reach.

Panting from the effort to steal this tiny plastic stick from a literal baby, you threw a helpless look over your shoulder at Denji, who was leaning against the fridge and observing the fiasco with a snickering grin. “Grab some popcorn, why don’t you. Help me!”

As if he was snapped back to reality as he realized who was barking commands to him, he immediately straightened his posture and performed a dedicated salute. “Yes, boss!”

Denji marched on over to the other side of Aiko’s high chair, so the two of you were surrounding her. “Nowhere to run,” he drawled in a low voice.

“We aren’t in a wild west movie, Denj.”

“Well, we should be!”

“Fine.” You cleared your throat, smothering your vocal cords with your best southern accent. “Quick draw, winner takes all.”

“You forgot to say, like, pardner or something.”

“If we were partners we wouldn’t be fighting in a quick draw!”

“Oh. Then, uh… cue tumbleweed, cue acoustic guitar music, cue countdown… On the count of three, three, two, one!”

“Three! Wait, wha—”

Denji lunged for the pink stick in Aiko’s grasp, but not before she could quickly jerk her arm away from him, giggling all the while. You took advantage of its positioning closer to your side and reached for the spoon, just as Aiko swung her arm to the other side, smacking Denji right in the center of his face with a thwack.

“Ow! Jeez, baby, why are you so strong?”

Aiko only chortled in response, clearly enjoying watching you two struggle to pry her weapon from her grasp.

“Damnit! Why is this stupid high chair— so— high?!” You waited for the rambunctious baby to rear the spoon back for another hit as Denji scrambled to regain his composure. “I got it!” you hollered as the spoon came just inches away from your face, reaching out to grab it, when—

“AHHHHHH!!!”

A spartan cry roared out as something barreled towards you at the speed of light, knocking you to the floor in a split second with a thunderous crack.

The wind kicked out of your lungs and pain seared throughout your entire body from the nape of your neck down to the tip of your tailbone. As you regained consciousness…

“What the— DENJI!” The bewildered face hovering over you was panting heavily as he braced himself with his arms planted on either side of your head. “What did you— oh my god, is the baby okay?!”

His astonished gaze shifted to his right hand, which he lifted to find a pink plastic prize inside. “I… I did it…” he breathed. His eyes widened as he remembered why the two of you were here in the first place. He rolled off of your body and onto his back, fixing his gaze on the high chair that was still upright.

A tiny giggle. “Hee hee! Benchee!”

The two of you lying on the kitchen floor sagged in relief at the confirmation that the baby in your temporary custody was, in fact, still alive.

“Denji… did you just tackle the love of your life to the ground, nearly giving them a concussion, just to retrieve a single plastic baby spoon?”

“Fuck yeah I did. I mean! Hell yeah I did! No, shit! Damnit! I uhhhh…”

“Yes, you did.” You patted Denji’s hand as the two of you lay side by side on the tiled kitchen floor, gazing up at the ceiling. “Yes, you did.”

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

#denji #denji csm #chainsaw man denji #csm denji #denji x reader #denji headcanons #denji imagines #chainsaw man x reader #chainsaw man headcanons #chainsaw man imagines #denji imagine #csm #csm x reader #csm headcanons #csm imagines #chainsaw man #gn

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artzyleen · 2 years

Text

My meet and greet experience with Joe ~

One week ago today 9th of July ,2022 I took this video while waiting for my turn to meet & greet him...I will never forget that shaking nervous feeling while me and my friend @lexie_lui slowly approaching his table, having on and off mini panic attacks while deciding who shall talk to him 1st ..

I constantly had to drink water every 5 min, my mouth was super dry from all the exitment ..4 people Infront of us..oh god ..no idea at this point what is reality, 3 ppl..I see him talking to the guys Infront of us , he is so close...all of a sudden I catch him doing that random sticking his tongue thing when he is concentrating , I turn to my friend hiding my face with the fan project book in order for him not to see my face,and I tell my friend that he just did the tongue thing 😝 ,she looks at me with shocked and exited face ...2 ppl left , me and my friend look each other ..

at this point we are both silently freaking out and agree that I go first...1 person left Infront of me..my heart is pounding, I can almost hear myself screaming ...for a split sec I tell his assistant to write my name for the autograph ... The last person is gone ..

..and now is my turn..I'm trying casually to slide right Infront of him, first thing goes out of my mouth is 'Hiii, how are you today ,how are you managing this crowd?' he goes smilling 'Hey ,so far so good ,how are you?'..and then my mouth starts speaking faster than me brain

... I took my time explaining what massive impact he has on us, it felt time was frozen for me and now was mu chance to tell him all of my emotions ..my mouth was so dry but I managed to say most of the exact words I was thinking of how much he inspires me as an artist, and that I'm super exited for his future projects and that we all follow him along the way

He was looking at me straight in the eyes and listening to every word I say, I kinda felt intimidating ,I'm usually shy talking to ppl I adore ,imagine what I felt while Joe was litterally listening to me so intensely ..I was swallowing my words a bit fast and had brain dead for couple of seconds , I was afraid he will get annoyed but no, it was fine, I felt that he kinda knew how nervous I was , all of a sudden he took my right hand and still looking at me said 'Thank you so much for your words, means a lot! '

I could feel his gratitude ,he was really touched! I said, 'It's all from my heart"

While he was signing the picture I picked up for the autograph he asked me where I travelled from, I said I came from Bristol, and he was like, OH cool! Then I had to show and explain him my small gift from my country Bulgaria, lol, he was actually touching it and check it out (was a magnet and small rose oil)

Then I showed him my drawing and he went 'Oh my God' and he did this crazy funny face expression like he was amazed, it was funny ha! Then finally I showed him the fan project book we all worked on ,(and he stood up from his chair ) I opened couple of the pages to show him what exactly this is ,all the fan appreciation of everything he does, I told him to read the messages whenever he has time for,he was really amazed and just said 'Wow'

Then he straight hugged me for about 4/5 seconds which I felt long enough ,not sure if he said anything but I remember him smelling like fresh clothes and then I just told him in his ear 'Thank you so much for everything '

I said I will remember this for the rest of my life, he said he hopes to see me again of there is another com, and I said I have 2 more photoshoots with him, ha, not sure if he heard that, then he said, "Really nice to meet you, see you soon "

After the meet and greet ,me and my friend went for the photoshoots ,we split cause I had to go first to the Upside down shoot and she went to take something to drink..on the Upside down shoot before my turn I quickly gave my bag pack and glasses to the assistant to hold, I went smilling saying 'Hiiii, he smiles back and goes Heey,nice to see you again! 💕😭 (I'm 99.99% sure he actually remembered me after that 5 min spill of my emotions on the meet nad greet table) I hug him and he does the rock sign 🤘🏻 and we took the photo...for a second the photographer checks back the camera ...

..me and him stay at the same position frozen thinking the photo went bad and we need to take another one, (he keeps me close to him while waiting ) all of sudden the photographer goes "Yeah, go,that's it" I look at him and say "Thank you,see you again!" He smiles back waving 💕 (I think he did say 'See ya')

After a while...I went for the Diamond photo shoot, massive crowd ahead, I see him right Infront of us ,looked super tired but still managing the rest of the massive crowd...my turn, I go there I ask him, "Are you ok?", he goes smilling, "Yeah I'm fine, how are you? " I hug him do the 1st pose(he immediately went for it doing again the rock sign 🤘🏻 ) second photo I get stuck for a second , don't know what pose to do

I look at him and he looks back at me, places his hands on his head with his devilish grin and says 'Yeah, that one ' I smile back and we both do the shoot with devil horns pose, and then I go looking at him ' Thank you so much, enjoy your day' and I slightly touched his belly area (I'm not even joking) he just smiles back super tired 😭💕 . In the end I felt so bad for him, me an my friend went back to the extit, before leaving I glanced at him one last time while he was doing pics with the rest of the ppl.. I feel he will never do this again! We got really lucky to meet him on his first ever con ..he felt super overwhelmed ..

In the end both of my friends had to go , I had one last photoshoot with Aiden Turner ..one last time I went to check Joe and his second afternoon meet and greet..he was again at the autograph table greeting ppl and smilling ...

I that's was it..I went to my other photoshoot knowing that Joe is litterally metres away from me ,so weird.. One of those experiences of a lifetime..I hope to meet him again someday but most of all I wish and I hope he can cope with this ridiculous massive fame he got going on,I'm super excited for all of his future projects and I'm definitely going to follow his journey for a long time 💕 nicest ,sweetest soul I've ever met!

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space-helen · 3 years

Text

Heartbeat

Words: 2586

Pairing: Fox Mulder x Reader

A/N: I hope this is ok!! I really enjoyed writing this :)

Request: Do you think you could do a Mulder x Reader where the reader has diagnosed anxiety, and the only thing that helps her in panic attacks is listening to recordings of calming heartbeats to the point where she’s almost in love with the sound? And one of the creature’s abilities is to distract people by making hallucinations of their biggest weaknesses, and so in the middle of conflict it makes her listen to Mulder’s heartbeat, making her flustered, and she has to abruptly admit her feelings towards him and her fascination with hearts afterwards or while everything is happening? Bonus points if he or Scully find out she has a bunch of heartbeat ASMR in her search history, and they bring it up in conversation before the actual conflict, making her flustered before anything actually happens. (I also want to clarify, I’m not requesting an NSFW fic since I don’t know how you feel about it, I want it to be purely cutesy and romantic.) - Anon

______________________

The sounds of heartbeats played through the headphones as you relaxed backwards in your chair. You closed your eyes and focussed on the soothing pattern. Even if there was no regular pattern to the heartbeats you’d find them.

You breathed in through your nose and held your breath for a couple of seconds before letting it out. Today had been extremely stressful and your anxiety had been through the roof leading to a panic attack. You’d excused yourself from the situation and had come straight here.

Scully entered your shared office to see you behind your desk, going to her own she put down a file “You look relaxed.” she commented and when she had no response from you she turned to your desk. “Y/N?”

Again no response, the sounds playing through the headphones had consumed your mind.

“Y/N?” she gently put a hand on your shoulder which had you opening your eyes quickly with a start and scrambling to pull the headphones off.

“Dana.” you could feel the embarrassment rise in you. “I’m so sorry I was just listening to a tape and I guess I had the volume up high?”

“Well you either seemed totally engrossed or bored with it. Either way you were relaxed and that’s all that matters. You gave us a little scare earlier, I’m sorry I couldn’t excuse myself sooner” she apologised.

“It’s ok.” You reassured. “Today has been stressful. All those people-” you started to recount the event.

“Y/N, Y/N please don’t worry about it. It’s the end of our shift anyway you should go home.”

“Are you sure?”

“More than. Go on, I’ll be here a little while longer until Mulder comes back.”

“I don’t mind waiting for him too.”

“No. Really don’t worry. We’ll call you if it’s important, you need a break.”

You smiled “If you insist.” Standing up you moved to the coat stand to grab your bag and coat. “Thank you.”

Dana watched you leave the office and sat back and relaxed for a second before deciding to open the file in front of her. An hour soon passed before she was startled out of her workflow by the phone ringing.

Picking it up quickly she pressed the phone to her ear “Dana Scully how may I help?”

“Dana. It’s Y/N. Can you do me a huge favour?” your voice came from the other side of the line.

“Sure what is it?”

“I was supposed to return that tape I was listening to to the library tonight. Would you be able to? I’m so sorry I would have done it myself but I totally forgot and just remembered now.”

“Yeah sure. Is there anything else you’d like me to do?”

“Uh.” you hesitated and went quiet “Actually” you paused again “Nevermind, ignore me it’s nothing.”

“Are you sure? If I’m out I don’t mind.”

There was a silence “Can you book me out a tape with heartbeat sounds? Anything will do.”

“Sure. Is that all?”

“Yeah that’s it. Thank you Dana.”

“No problem. Get some rest Y/N I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Have a lovely night.”

The phone call had ended and Dana had to admit she was slightly confused by your request. Standing up she moved over to your desk and picked up the cassette player. Curiosity took over and she was soon pressing the play button and bringing the headphones up to her ear to try and get a hint of what you were listening to.

The sound of heartbeats filled her ears and she quirked an eyebrow. She put the played and headphones back down before ejecting the tape and putting it back in it’s case.

Picking it up she returned to her desk and slipped it in her bag as footsteps approached her office. She turned to see Mulder approaching.

“How’d it go?”

He flopped into an empty seat in the office “We have something big on our hands, and not like we’ve seen before.”

“How urgent?”

“We’ll need to start first thing. For now though get some rest.”

Scully nodded “I will but you have to promise you will too.”

He put his hands up “I will.” he pushed himself to a standing position as he walked with Scully out of the building “How was Y/N today?” he questioned.

Scully smiled and quirked and quirked an eyebrow, she knew how much he liked her “She’s good. Had a bit of a wobble earlier but I think she’s ok. It happens to the best of us.”

“As long as she’s ok.”

“Yeah she is. Actually, I have to go and run an errand for her so I’ll catch you tomorrow?”

“Bright and early.” he replied with a smile before parting.

Dana was soon arriving at the Library, she found the heartbeat tapes and looked through them and their descriptions. She noticed your name on many of the checkout lists and picked one that your name wasn’t present on.

She quickly signed back in your old tape and out the new, slipping it into her bag and she continued home.

You’d had a pretty decent night's sleep and were now entering the office. Putting your bag down on your desk you turned to take off your jacket, not realising someone else was in the room.

“Do I not get a good morning?”

You turned in shock towards Mulder’s voice, he was now rounding his desk to perch on the edge. “I didn’t even realise. I’m so sorry.” you hung up your jacket and gave him a smile “Good Morning Mulder.”

“How was your evening?”

You perched on the edge of your own desk near Mulder “It was good. Dana sent me home and I just had something to eat and went to bed honestly. I was pretty tired. What about yours? How was yesterday?”

He kicked your foot gently with his own and spoke with a smile “I’m glad you had a nice evening. Mine was good and I pretty much did the same. Yesterday was ok, we do have something big on our hands though.”

“Oh yeah?” you questioned “Is it really big or are you just saying that? You have a tendency to over-exaggerate sometimes.” you teased

He grabbed a balled-up piece of paper from his desk and lightly chucked it at you “I’ve never exaggerated in my life.

You crossed your arms over your chest and gave him a smug look.

“Ok maybe I have but I promise you this one is big.” He emphasised the word with his hands.

Dana heard laughter coming from the office and wasn’t surprised at all to see the two of you together in there. “Morning.” she greeted.

Mulder pushed himself off his desk “We should get a move on.” he gestured to the clock and grabbed his keys “I’ll meet you both by the car?”

“Sure.” you agreed. Standing up you went to grab your jacket again. Regretting even taking it off in the first place, if you’d known you’d been going out you wouldn’t have bothered.

“I managed to get you a new tape,” Dana said pulling it out of her bag and offering it to you.

You looked at her in shock briefly, you’d totally forgotten that you’d asked her to get you a new one, you must have been really tired when you’d called her. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.” you could feel the embarrassment rise in you as you took the tape from her and slipped it into the top drawer of your desk.

“I noticed you borrow heartbeat sounds a lot from the library. Practically every tape has been taken out by you at least once.” she said lightly with cheer in her voice.

“Yeah. It’s nothing really.”

“I’m just interested.”

“I think we should really get going.” You were getting nervous and your words were falling out. Adjusting your coat you left the office and headed towards the car. Dana knew exactly when to drop a topic and knew she’d probably pushed a little bit too far but she was soon following you.

The drive to the location didn’t take long. Picturesque scenery had stretched out around you as Mulder drove. The three of you practically fell out of the vehicle to be greeted by a farmhouse.

You began to walk towards the property when you felt Mulder gently grasp your wrist “There’s one thing you should both know.” he let go and the three of you formed a mini circle. “it apparently likes to project your biggest weaknesses when confronted, it uses them to get away and distract you. Just be careful.”

His eyes locked with yours and you nodded. Mulder was the one to lead the group into the house and made some hand gestures to suggest splitting up.

You slowly walked through the house, your footsteps echoing on the floorboards. The house was run down and abandoned but the light streaming through the windows gave it some life. It was abandoned but certainly not empty.

A creak in the next room caught your attention, slowly creeping into the room you laid your eyes immediately on the culprit. They were incredibly tall and had a rugged appearance but were backing themselves into a corner.

“Hi. I’ve heard that you’ve been causing some problems,” you spoke as you approached carefully. “That’s ok though, we can help you. You might be confused but if you just come with me and my colleagues.”

Your foot landed on a particularly loud floorboard and the person took an abrupt step towards you before slamming themselves back into the wall. “It’s ok. It’s ok it was just the floorboard.”

They started to shake their head violently before stopping and looking you dead in the eye. “Please” you pleaded.

You started to hear a heartbeat and brushed it off as your own, thinking you were getting nervous. “If you’d just come with me.” you took another step closer and the heartbeat got louder and very present in your ears.

You took another step forward and it was soon rushing away from you and knocking over some of the last pieces of furniture in the house.

You kept your distance but turned with them. “Please just don’t be scared.”

The heartbeat was getting louder and you could hear your name being called and footsteps running up the stairs. Soon the heartbeat was so loud you couldn’t hear much else.

“Y/N?” Mulder came into the room and saw the ‘Monster’ but his eyes quickly found you and he could quickly see how uncomfortable you were. “What is it?”

The man’s heart spiked in concern and the heartbeat that you could hear mirrored this. As he came closer it became unbearable. You knew what was happening and put out your arm to keep him away from you “Keep your distance.”’

The noise was pounding through your head. Usually, you found it comforting and you suppose there was comfort in the sounds but the amplification of them made them difficult. It was truly turning your biggest weakness into something unpleasant.

“What is it?” Mulder tried to take a step towards you.

Looking at the man you could see the concern in his eyes and the heartbeat became irregular, all you could do was shake your head and step away. “My weakness it’s-”

He wanted to help and his feet were instinctively moving towards you.

“Stop.” you shouted.

The man stopped in his tracks as you walked away “I can’t” you could feel yourself getting emotional, heat rising in your face and eyes getting wet. “Just deal with it.” you called.

“You need to tell me what you’re weakness is.” Mulder spoke.

“It’s… It’s you. Your heartbeat.” You reversed yourself into a corner.

Mulder looked between you and the creature. “And it gets worse the closer I get?”

You nodded and tried to ignore the heartbeat but it was extremely difficult.

Mulder started to approach the monster, there was a screech in your head and the heartbeat amplified more as if the monster was taking it out on you. You backed into a wall and slid down it, hands over your ears trying to gain some relief.

Mulder turned when he heard you sliding down the wall and realised how much you were being affected. Backing up he stood in the corner of the room. The heartbeats amplification lessened and you removed your hands but your eyes were reddened and threatening tears.

“Look. Just stop what you’re doing and come with us. We won’t hurt you, we’ll help you understand what’s happening.”

They took a step into the room. “That’s it. Just come with me to the car and we’ll get you somewhere where they can look after you.” Mulder coaxed

You began to push yourself up off of the floor when you heard a scuffle. Dana had come in through another door and crept up on them and injected them swiftly with a sedative which had them falling to the floor.

Mulder was at your side, putting an arm on the small of your back “It’s gone right?”

You nodded “I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologise I can’t even imagine.”

“Thank you Dana.” you smiled

“He won’t be out for long, we should get someone to come collect him.”

Mulder nodded “Do you have any contacts?”

Scully nodded and was soon leaving to arrange a pick up

You moved to be beside Mulder “I think I have to explain what happened.”

“You don’t.”

“I do.” the man moved to perch himself on the old dusty desk and you sat next to him “I use heartbeats to overcome anxiety and … well I’m pretty much in love with the sound. I think it chose your heartbeat to amplify because I think I like you Mulder. What happened there basically confirms it.” you let out a small laugh.

“If we’re putting all our cards on the table here.” he looked at you and you turned to him “I have many weaknesses including losing the ones I love and it used that and also used you. When I was walking through the house I saw bodies on the floor and most of them were yours. I kept going because I knew this he hadn’t physically killed anyone yet but when I saw you in pain and couldn’t have me near you? That really hurt.”

You nodded and looked at your hands “So what we’re both saying here is that we have feelings for each other.”

“I guess so.” he let out a breath “Will you let me take you for dinner tonight?”

You nodded “That’d be nice. I think we deserve it.”

“We do.” he smiled and stood up “I think we should probably get out of here before he wakes up.”

“Yeah, we should.” The two of you walked side by side as you left the property to meet Dana by the car, Mulder couldn’t wipe the smirk off of his face.

“They’re on their way to come get him.” She turned to face Mulder properly “What’s got into you?” Scully questioned

Mulder just shrugged and walked over to the driver's side of the car and slid inside. Scully rolled her eyes “Looks like we’re leaving.” She opened the passenger’s side door as you got into the back.

As Scully’s contacts pulled up Mulder began to pull away. He briefly made eye contact with you in the rear-view mirror and smiled and you flashed him a smile of your own.

Tag List: (open)

Fox Mulder:

#fox mulder x reader #x files x reader #the xfiles x reader #xfiles x reader #mulder x reader

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buckybarnesdiaries · 3 years

Text

bucky barnes x reader. masterlist.

part 1 — part 2 (soon)

a / n. this is a series of 15 mini-drabbles to celebrate the 500 followers' milestone, based on one word for each story. this first part contains 8, and the next one contains 7. it was supposed to be posted one story per day, but by that way, it'd take me to last an eternity to post other works / requests.

words. 1.533.

warning, tags. none, just a bunch of fluffy and cute situations with bucky.

join my tag list.

necklace;

It was the first time since you started to date that Bucky had to leave for a mission. Neither of the two of you knew when he'd be back, and that got you worried than ever. You were conscious of what he did for a living when you met him, but you couldn't help but feel scared. Next to the front door of your apartment, Bucky left his backpack on the floor, leaning to cup your cheeks on his palms and kiss your lips tortuously slow.

“I'll be okay, (Y/N)”. He murmured keeping his eyes closed.

“You better”.

Your hidden threat made him giggle. The soldier felt goosebumps bristling his skin as your fingertips toured his neck blindly, just to put in place the chain of his necklace. But soon, Bucky stopped your moves to take it off from him and place his dog tags on you.

“I'll come back for them”. He promised, fixing his pale blue orbs on yours, holding your hands to bring them to his lips and place fond kisses on every knuckle of both. “I love you, don' forget it, okay?”

“I won't... How could I, Buck?”

eclipsed;

Bucky was sweating, still not believing he was about to get married to the love of his life. He was on the altar, waiting for you and surrounded by all of your friends in common. Steve had had to help him with a panic attack he had suffered while dressing up, thinking that maybe you could change your opinion at the last moment. He couldn't blame you. But all those doubts vanished at the second you crossed the huge, heavy doors of the church. Your beauty eclipsed him, wearing a white lace wedding dress and seeming like you floated over the floor. Just like an angel.

His heart jumped. His oceanic eyes got covered in tears. A giggle escaped his lips, stretching a hand towards you, still praying it's not a dream. And you noticed the tension and the nervousness running his veins, leaning forward to kiss his cheek with all the love you felt for your future husband.

“Can't wait to say yes”. You whispered into his ear, causing Bucky to lace his arms around you and embrace you tight and tenderly. “I love you, James, from now and forever”.

sunset;

After his most recent nightmare and walking all grumpy from one side of another around your house, you decided to cheer him up only like you can do. With reluctance, you managed to get him out of your apartment and drag him to your car. Bucky was like a child, cross-armed, lips puckered and frowning annoyed. He tried to hide the fact that he had another nightmare to not worry you, but you weren't stupid.

Thinking that glimpsing the beach throughout the large front window would make him feel happier, your boyfriend just reclined himself on the seat, causing you to roll your eyes. That mood changed as soon as Bucky was sitting on the sand, between your legs, tho. His back was resting against your chest and his neck was wrapped by one of your arms, watching fascinated the sunset on the horizon. He wouldn't recognize it, but he felt much better hearing the waves crashing into the shore, while you stroked his scalp tenderly using the tip of your nails.

“You're welcome, grumpy mummy”.

clingy;

You didn't want to drink, but Sam and Sarah wanted to celebrate that the family business was picking up. On another occasion, you wouldn't mind, but Bucky was there. So, when everything started to spin around, you lead your clumsy steps to the edge of the harbor, having a sit there and let the soft breeze help you.

“Stop”. You heard from behind.

“Uh?”

“You're stealing my antisocial personality”. Bucky chuckled, taking a seat by your side. “What's up? Why are you here all alone?”

“Truth or lie?” You asked tilting your head towards him, raising both eyebrows.

“Truth”. He scoffed as if it wasn't obvious.

“I'm too clingy when I'm drunk”.

“Can't see the problem there”.

You chuckled, shaking your head inevitably, causing him to pucker his lips with a funny grimace.

“What?”

“Tru—”.

“Truth”.

“I've been all night wanting to rub your beard”.

Bucky exploded in loud laughter, not believing your words until you put your hands on his jawline. “God... It's so soft”.

His laughs increased, causing you to burn in shame. “No more drinks for you, ma'am...”

But the fact was that he turned to you, so it could be easy to caress his face.

safe;

Bucky was deadly tired on the sofa, warmly cuddled between your arms. A while ago, he stopped to pay attention to the movie, turning his back to the TV to hide his exhausted expression on your chest. You placed the cozy blanket over your bodies, making sure it covered both of you, being aware that tonight you'd sleep there. You felt sorry just at the thought of waking him up, seeing him peacefully breathing and his face more relaxed than the last few days.

Shutting off the TV and stretching an arm above your head, you turned off the small lamp on the auxiliary table close to the sofa, before getting comfier by Bucky's side. Your boyfriend purred delighted, still sleepy, as your fingers got tangled on his hair and started to scratch his scalp slowly, urging you somehow to place a leg over his waist, so he could settle between both a little more closely.

“Feel better?”

“I feel safe”. He replied in a low breath, to exhale the sweet scent concentrated on your neck.

“You're safe, James. You're at home”. Your calmed tone made him sigh, snuggling you strongly.

stay;

You snapped awake because of some knocks on the front door. Tossing the sheets to a side of the bed, you grabbed the gun under your pillow. It was stupidity. If somebody wanted to kill you, that would be the last thing they'd do: knock the door. You walked slowly, step by step, through the main hallway aiming to the door, more than ready to shoot your assailant.

“It's... Bucky”. You heard from the other side.

Sighing in relief and closing your eyes for a split second, you left the weapon on the dinner table in the living room. Not doubting on opening the door, you couldn't help but raise an eyebrow when you noticed the reddened mark around his left eye and cheek.

“Can I, uh... stay tonight with you?” Bucky inquired, licking his upper lip ashamed, bowing his eyes down to his boots covered in dust.

“C'mon, Sergeant”. You invited him to walk in, using such a sweet tone, while holding his cold hand.

He looked like shit but felt much better when his arms got wrapped around your waist and middle-back, hiding his face into your neck. Kicking the door shut, you embraced him tighter to your body.

notebook;

You were lying on the opposite side to Bucky on the sofa, but keeping your legs tangled. It was a rainy evening with nothing to do and you decided to start to read the book you bought last week. Your boyfriend was silently doing something in a notebook. Maybe writing memories, maybe doodling, you didn't know. But the third time you caught him staring at you, you had to ask.

“What?”

“Uh... nothing”. He whispered focused on the paper in front of his eyes.

“Whaaat?” You kicked his right leg with your bare foot causing him to chuckle.

“Nothing!” Bucky replied using the same playfully tone of voice.

Putting the book on the coffee table, you sat up to lie on top of him, cuddling between his legs and resting your head on his chest. Glancing to the sketch of yourself he was drawing, you raised your heart-eyes to his. It was such a piece of art. The drawing and Bucky. Both.

“I learned in Romania. It kept me sane sometimes”. He confessed, leaning to place a kiss on your forehead. “I want to remember you forever”.

marshmallow;

“Truth or dare?”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, leaning on the table just like you did, challenging him. He was trying to read your mind to figure out which were your intentions.

“Dare”. He answered firmly.

“Put twenty marshmallows in your mouth”.

The soldier stared at you in silence, watching him lick his inner cheek and push it with the tip of his tongue. He nodded his head then, grabbing the plastic bag without losing eye contact, to start to place —one by one— the sweets into his mouth. In less than thirty seconds, he looked like a squirrel with his cheek swollen. Bucky squinted at you again, triumphant.

“Hold on, I need to capture this moment”. You laughed, catching your phone to take a picture.

When the flash went off, he spitted a marshmallow like a shotgun. And you couldn't help but laugh.

“C'mon, Bu—”.

You didn't finish the sentence, being hit by another marshmallow slightly wet because of his saliva. Your grimace turned into a funny disgust, grabbing it back to throw it to his face.

“You're like a five years old in a body fos— STOP!” You ended up giggling as he spitted you the third one.

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yourdeepestfathoms · 3 years

Text

song of storms

Texas decided to flash flood, so my school went into its severe weather drill yesterday. we sat in the hallways in darkness while some kid played his guitar and sang for us. it got me inspired, so here’s some hurt/comfort!

—————————

In Romania, it sure did rain.

A storm so powerful it seemed to have some kind of vendetta against Castle Dimitrescu had blown in around the early afternoon, and by the time dinner was almost ready to be served, the brisk rainfall had warped into a mini hurricane. Raindrops fell like silver bullets and thunder cracked repeatedly, lightning tearing through the sky with white fangs, splitting the horizon in two. Water splattered across the windows like sprays of blood, and Alcina went around making sure they were all secure against the howling wind, seeing as the maids were too useless to do so.

While checking the glass and locks in the western wing, a massive boom shook the entire castle, making even Alcina feel small in comparison. Pulling the drapes shut firmly, there was a second crash of thunder, but this time, she heard something inside of it.

A whimper.

Alcina turned. The room closest to her was the library. It had to have come from in there.

Creeping inside, Alcina first checked the windows, making sure there were no leaks, then looked for the culprit of the cry. It wasn’t very hard when the sky roared like a vicious beast and caused its victim to sob from behind a bookshelf. Peeking around the polished wood, she found the sufferer.

It was her eldest daughter, curled into the fetal position, her knees to her chest, hands clamped over her ears, shaking all over. She flinched when a burst of thunder seemed to shake the entire castle, threatening to bring the ceiling down on top of them, and then let out a choked whimper, digging her claws into her scalp in a vain effort to block out the noise.

“Bela?”

Bela’s head snapped up, and Alcina watched as shame crept into her expression.

“M-Mother--” she stammered. “I-- I--”

Alcina walked over and crouched down next to her. She set a hand on Bela’s shoulder, feeling her shudder beneath her touch. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, Mother,” Bela said, despite her obvious panic attack. “Of course.”

Alcina narrowed her eyes. “Bela, what have I told you about lying to be about your health?”

Bela lowered her head. “I shouldn’t do it…”

“Right. Now, I will ask you again: are you alright?”

Bela shifted, sniffling. “I’m-- I’m just a little freaked out, that’s all. But-- but I’m okay. It isn’t that bad.”

And then, like it was trying to be helpful, thunder crashed, and Bela jolted right into Alcina’s arms with a yelp, practically vibrating with fear. She clung to Alcina’s gown with her claws, her eyes wide and bulging.

“Isn’t that bad, huh?” Alcina said.

“It-- it just startled me!” Bela blustered. She was adamant about saving face, it seemed.

“Uh-huh,” Alcina set a hand on her back, rubbing up and down her spine slowly. “Bela, I thought you said you weren’t scared of storms anymore? Were you lying just to look strong for your younger sisters?” She squinted. “Or did they shame you again? I’ve told those girls that all fears are valid, no matter how irrational--”

“N-no!” Bela cried, clenching fabric between desperate claws. “No! Don’t get mad at them, please! It-- it wasn’t them!”

Alcina looked at her curiously, one eyebrow raised.

Bela lowered her head. “I-- I’m not afraid of storms. Rainstorms, I mean. But the thunder…” She cast a dismayed look at the nearby window and jumped when lightning torched the sky. She huddled closer. “It’s just so loud. And dangerous! What if-- what if there’s a tornado?!”

Alcina bit back a laugh. Her eldest child had the wildest imagination.

“Don’t be silly,” she said. “Romania doesn’t get tornadoes.”

“It has before!” Bela said, steadfast on her opinion. “And FLOODS! Oh, Mother, what if it floods? What if the castle floods?! Where will we live?! What if-- what if--”

Sensing Bela’s growing panic, Alcina cupped her cheeks and made her look at her. “Breathe, darling. Breathe. You’re starting to spiral.”

“But-- but--”

“Breathe. Here, follow me,” she then inhaled deeply. “Come on, my love. Just like me. In…” She demonstrated again.

Bela shakily inhaled.

“And out…” She exemplified.

Bela shakily exhaled.

They repeated this process three more times before Bela was calmer, though she wouldn’t stop glancing out the window. The rain had gotten so bad that the trees outside weren’t even visible through the pelting sheets of rain. The lightning, however, still made itself known, slashing right through the water walls like the talons of a monster.

“It’s so bad out there,” Bela murmured, her eyes becoming distant as she started wrapping herself up in her own fear again.

“Ah, ah,” Alcina redirected her gaze over to her. “Don’t look at that, darling. Look at me.”

Bela swallowed thickly and obeyed. Her claws dug into Alcina’s arms. “Mother,” she whispered hoarsely. “I’m-- I’m scared.”

Alcina frowned, though she was proud of Bela for openly admitting such a thing. She pulled her in close.

“It’s alright, my darling,” Alcina murmured. “It’s alright. Nothing is going to get you. It’s just a noise.”

“I-I know, but--”

Thunder cracked, and Bela buried her face against Alcina’s chest. Her shaking worsened.

“I hate it, I hate it,” Bela wept.

Alcina moved her hands over Bela’s ears, holding them firmly, hoping to block out the sound for her precious daughter. How could she forget that Bela didn’t like loud noises? Of course this would be like hell for her.

“Shh, shh,” Alcina rocked Bela back and forth in her lap. A faint rumble rippled through the house and she glared at the window, cursing the storm for causing her baby so much distress. “It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay…”

She spent five more minutes on the floor before Bela finally pulled her head back. She didn’t look any less terrified, nor had the storm lessened its brutality, but there was a new light in her eyes. Alcina already knew what she was doing.

“Bela, don’t--”

“I’m sorry, Mother,” Bela said anyway, dipping her head for a moment. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“Don’t even pretend, child,” Alcina scolded. “You’re still as white as a ghost. And these shivers… You’re shaking like a newborn goat!”

Bela shook her head. “I’ll be fine. You said it yourself, didn’t you?”

Alcina wrinkled her nose, then sighed. “Alright then. Shall we both go down to the parlor, then? I should check on your sisters.”

Guilt flitted through Bela’s eyes. “Yes. Of course. We must make sure that they aren’t scared.”

That got a small chuckle out of Alcina. “Sure.”

They both stood up, with Alcina helping Bela on her unsteady legs. While walking down the hallway to get to the main parlor, both mother and daughter couldn’t help but gaze out the windows.

The sky was the color of the ocean- dark, wild, and swallowing everything in its wake. The only thing that could possibly rival its impenetrable wall of thick black-blue were the constant cracks of blazing lightning that split the roiling clouds like a hot knife. The storm would be cut in half at the flash of its searing glory, then sewed itself back together like a monstrous, watery wound. The wind was so fierce that it seemed to be sent by an enraged being to punish the castle for some unruly sin. Water rushed down the pathways that Alcina could just barely make out in the garden like baby rivers, threatening to drag anything and anyone in its way down the dirt with it. Raindrops battered the glass and walls and doors, knocking so viciously like an unwanted guest.

An unwanted guest. That was what this damn storm was. And Alcina was at her wit’s end with this elemental stranger.

Especially when one particular crash of thunder knocked the power right out.

Now, a good portion of Castle Dimitrescu used natural lighting to ward away the darkness, sunlight and torches and whatnot, but there were also light fixtures and lamps, which were cut into complete blackness by the outage.

Shadows swept around the corridor like curtains, chased off only by a few flickering torches. At Alcina’s side, there was a sharp cry of terror that pulled at her heart with talons, and she turned to see Bela pressed against the wall, trembling and breathing heavily, her eyes practically bulging right out of her skull.

“Oh, honey,” Alcina said sadly. She reached out, tenderly cupping her daughter’s cheeks. Bela was aware enough to press into her touch like she usually did, which was good. She was too far gone in her panic just yet. “Shh, shh… It’s okay.”

“Th-the lights--” Bela gasped. Her hands were pressed flat against the wall behind her, claws dug against the plaster. She wouldn’t look at Alcina, instead peering around her figure to the storm outside. “It’s-- it’s--”

“Breathe, Bela,” Alcina instructed, seeing her spiral again. It was worrying just how quickly it could happen, coming out of nowhere and consuming her like a colony of angry fire ants. “Breathe. In and out. Just like I taught you.”

“M-Mother--”

“Shh, shh,” Alcina stroked Bela’s cheeks with her thumbs. She moved closer, trying to block out the view of the windows with her form. “Don’t look at that. Look at me. I’m right here and I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

Bela whimpered and looked up at her. Hot tears slid against Alcina’s fingers and she brushed them away. She smiled when she heard the shallow sound of her daughter’s rhythmic breathing.

“Good girl,” Alcina cooed. “Good, good girl. Just like that.”

Bela closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. Alcina’s smile grew a little wider.

“You’re doing so well,” Alcina praised her, knowing it would help her work harder to calm down. Bela was always the easiest to manage out of all of her children, as all it took was a few words of approval for her to do just about anything she wanted. “Such a good job, even when you’re--”

“I’m not--”

“I know, baby,” Alcina said, humoring her. She moved one hand to stroke Bela’s hair. “You’re not scared. Of course you aren’t. I was going to say when you’re in the middle of a blackout.”

Bela opened one eye to stare at her incredulously. Alcina grinned at her. Bela huffed, closed her eye, and then nuzzled into her hand with a faint purr.

They stayed like that for a little longer before Bela finally extracted herself from the wall. The color had yet to return to her face, nor had she stopped shaking, but at least her breathing was back under control.

“Ready?” Alcina asked.

Bela nodded quietly.

With one hand on her daughter’s back, Alcina continued down the hallway with Bela.

Upon entering her favorite parlor, Alcina found her other two daughters already inside. Cassandra was stretched out in front of the fireplace like a lounging cat, her head pillowed by her arms and a look of bliss on her face, while Daniela was bouncing by the window, watching the storm eagerly. The youngest had always been fascinated by the sheer destruction of weather.

“Thirty-four!” Daniela shouted when lightning flashed across the sky.

“That’s great, Dani,” Cassandra said dreamily without lifting her head or even opening her eyes.

“What are you two doing?” Alcina asked in amusement while ducking inside.

“Counting lightning bolts,” Daniela answered.

“Relaxing,” Cassandra said a moment later. “Isn’t this weather amazing?”

Bela winced.

“It certainly is something,” Alcina said, glancing out the window. She gave Bela’s back a gentle rub before walking over to her chair and sitting down. Daniela instantly skittered over to her and pressed her head right into the space between her neck and shoulder with a bright smile. Alcina chuckled, stroking her cheek, earning her blissful purrs.

“Where were you, Bel?” Cassandra asked, rolling over to look at Bela, but not quite getting up. She seemed much too relaxed.

“I-I, umm--”

“She was helping me close the windows,” Alcina answered for her eldest. “After I had to berate her for reading in the dark again.” She gave Bela a playful glare, making Bela smile faintly.

“Ooooh,” Daniela giggled. “You got in troubleeeee!”

Bela rolled her eyes. She finally moved from her rigid position by the door to sit on the floor next to Alcina’s chair. Alcina reached down to set a comforting hand on her head.

It was then that thunder ripped through the castle, causing all of the walls to shudder, and each of Alcina’s girls jolted. Daniela and Cassandra’s heads popped up, while Bela sank her claws in the cracks between the floorboards, trying to keep her breathing under control.

“Goddamn,” Cassandra muttered, sitting up straight. She stretched out the sore spots in her back. “We’re going to drown at this rate.”

Bela’s shoulders lurched. Alcina gave Cassandra a stern glare.

“Oooh, you know what we should do?” Daniela said. She didn’t wait for an answer. “Beli should sing to us!”

“What?” Bela snapped her head to her younger sister faster than the lightning could strike outside.

“Ohh, yeah,” Cassandra nodded.

“What are you talking about?”

Daniela gave her a look. “Don’t be dumb! We all know you like to sing!”

“No, I don’t,” Bela stammered, the tips of her ears turning red.

“Yes, you do,” Cassandra said. “We hear you sing when you fill up the bathtub.”

“You can hear me?!” Bela shrieked.

“Yeah!” Daniela said. “When you hit that vibrato last night… Incredible! Amazing! Showstopping!”

“You did sound very nice,” Alcina nodded.

“MOTHER!!”

Bela buried her face in her hands, which had gone completely red with embarrassment. Alcina chuckled and scratched her scalp.

“You have a wonderful voice, darling,” Alcina said.

“Yeah!” Daniela agreed. “Much better than Cassie. She sounds like a crow with a chicken bone stuck in its throat!”

“At least I don’t belt at the same octave as the torture victims,” Cassandra struck back, and she and Daniela both burst into laughter.

“Now, now, girls,” Alcina said.

“Oh, come on, Mother,” Cassandra said. “Daniela knows I’m just kidding. The victims sound better than she does, and they’re not even trying to sing!”

Daniela shrieked with more laughter. She didn’t seem offended at all. “Oh, I sound bad? You know the noises a donkey makes?”

Cassandra slapped the ground while snorting into her hand.

Alcina rolled her eyes in a good-natured way, then smiled down at Bela. “You would be a step above whatever they can do. But only if you want to.”

Bela looked up at her, her amber-gold eyes glinting in the firelight, then nodded. After a moment of silently encouraging herself, she took a deep breath and began to sing.

It was a beautiful melody in the howling of the storm.

#resident evil fanfic #resident evil 8 #resident evil village #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu

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vminity21 · 4 years

Text

Beyond the Facade | knj

Pairing: handyman!namjoon X preacherskid!reader, bestfriend!taehyung X pregnant!reader, f2l!au

Word Count: 10,958

Genre: mysterious/angst/fluff/smut

Warning(s): strong language use, semi-detailed childbirth, mention of infidelity, alluding of a love triangle, evidence of a sheltered background, angst involving family matters, smut, losing virginity, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), nipple play, hand groping, lots of flashbacks but that is the point of the story i sorry; Rated: 18+

Summary: A sheltered life leads to harbored secrets that are buried in order to protect someone you are falling in love with. As the time is nearing for the life growing inside you to be welcomed into the world, the reminiscences of all the moments unfold to reveal a beautiful story that needed to be told.

Credits to: @suhdays for making such a phenomenal header! The talent she has never ceases to amaze me!

The graying of the clouds is all you can see beyond your window other than the panging rain droplets now trickling upon the glass. Arm resting against your forehead, your lips press into a straight line in response to the series of thoughts circling your mind. Carefully, you slide your palms upon the mattress in an attempt to sit up, wanting to see more of the view besides the crying sky. Knuckles curling to rub your tired eyes, you furrow your brows, the comforting warmth of the bed covers remain tangled between your shins. Leafless trees border the side of the building save for a small swing set; a paved section decorated with a basketball hoop where a large shed stands many feet across from it. If one is to step outside the front of the structure, there sits a church surrounded by a gravel parking lot where the neighboring land hosts a barbed wire fence with an abandoned house and field.

It's been four months since you deemed the fellowship hall your home, and appreciatively, the area has been vacant since the falling of the church which saves even more stress than what you've been in since moving here. Achingly, your legs stretch to move off the bed before your feet land onto the grainy carpet. Your right-hand slips to steady your back, maneuvering your body to scoot to the bed frame, which has become a daily routine, weak fingers gripping the wood until your digits become pale white. Letting out a steady sigh, with all your strength you lift yourself to where you can stand, "Oomf," a small whimper escapes past your lips, tensing at the cringe plaguing your shoulders.

Being seven months pregnant sometimes has its perks, but this isn't one of them. Bending your body forward slightly, you step sluggishly toward your dresser, pulling out maternity clothes lent to you before the move.

"So, when are you going to tell us?" The soft murmur belonging to your mother echoes from the driver's side. Her expression submits an evident mixture of exhaustion and exasperation; though it's been a month since the announcement of your pregnancy, your mother is currently driving you to a doctor's appointment for a checkup on the baby to make sure everything is okay, "we have a right to know."

Arms crossed over your chest in mild annoyance, you bite the corner of your mouth until the side of your head meets the window, getting lost in the line of trees zipping by.

Waddling into the bathroom, the vague memory fades, your hand reaching to turn the knob of the shower. The squeaky sound along with rushing water splatters against the shower curtain sending a soothing jolt of excitement. Chilly air springs goosebumps over your limbs once you're freed of your clothes, waiting patiently for the water to warm before inching into the tub. When steaming liquid soon dribbles among your frame, a grin of satisfaction sparks brief happiness you needed an escape to. The heat of the downpour eases your aching bones, fingers clasping behind your neck to lean your head back, "Oh!" You gasp in surprise when the instant feel of a kick happens within your tummy. Eyes flutter down in the direction of your swollen belly, palms moving to caress it, "Look at you, what are you trying to do? Escape?" Cooing with a light giggle, when the baby kicks again, you can't help the giddy smile tugging at the corner of your lips. Now, this- this is what you love about being pregnant. Finishing up, you dry your hair before swiftly dressing along with brushing your teeth.

Thoughts still pertaining to the small life growing inside you, you've decided since your first doctor's visit that you do not want to know your baby's gender until the day that you give birth. When you presented the idea to your mother, she was all on board, proclaiming how she had done that with your younger sibling. Running a brush through your hair, you skim one final look into the mirror formerly then head to exit the bathroom.

Gradually sauntering through the mini hallway, you're more zoned on the way your hand pats upon the wall in some form of maintaining stableness to the point you hardly notice almost slamming into a tall figure.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry!" A deep voice panics, raising his arms in a way to catch you though your arms mirror the same. Heart ramming, a breath of relief winds past your parted lips- your eyes scanning the slim legs that follow to the handsome face of Kim Namjoon. His eyes enlarged apologetically.

"Oh Namjoon, you scared me," a tender chuckle sets the feel of calm for he sees the amnesty etched in your eyes.

"I'm so sorry, [Y/N], I was about to head out to mow the lawn, but just wanted to check and make sure you're okay," he timidly scopes the view of your huge abdomen, gulping once his hands rest loosely at his sides, returning his eyes to search yours before a sweet grin spreads upon your face.

"It's no biggie. Thank you for checking on me,"

His dimples show from the way his lips press in a tight smile, nodding in reply, timorously turning to waltz to the outdoors in preparation of the day ahead. You watch until he disappears from your line of vision; the creep of a blush burning from your chest to your cheeks. Raking your hands through your hair, you force yourself once again to deny the attraction seeping through your soul thankful your blush attacked after he left.

Kim Namjoon works for your father, making sure the church grounds continuously stay clean and cut creating a pretty environment to the eye. Protecting the land is another part of the job description- protecting it from any loiterers, wild animals, protesters, etcetera- maintaining flower bushes encircling the area as well as mini projects your father will want Namjoon to build. The swing set, including the shed, happen to be plans that Namjoon successfully constructed due to your father's wishes. In return, Namjoon is provided a place to live- the room that once held your father's office, is now changed into a bedroom.

It's strange for you to think about it now- how so much has changed in just seven months, when a year ago the church was thriving, unaware of the secrets that clouded within the audience. Squeezing your eyes shut, a reminiscent from the beginning of your pregnancy rears its head causing a tiny brink of nausea to form.

Taehyung's arms drape around you tightly, embracing you in all entirety that your eyes shut against the crook of his neck. Your fingers squeeze his shoulder, legs bent across his thighs while tepid tears spill onto your cheeks.

"Shhh," he tries to comfort, his breath tickling your exposed ear- your face still buried beneath his chin, "It's going to be okay," he whispers just as soft as the flicking fire burning amongst numerous candle wicks. Scents of vanilla blends with birch fitting the dimly lit bedroom that you're thankful exists other than the man refusing to let you go until you feel better.

"How?" You choke back another sob, "How am I going to tell my parents? How am I supposed to confront the church if that's what it comes down to? Shit... My dad is going to fucking kill me," Taehyung's shirt is soaked, but he could care less, tangling his long fingers into your hair to stroke the back of your head.

"Okay, now, you're being dramatic,"

"So, maybe I am? But you know very well that my parents aren't going to take this lightly,"

"Yeah, but I think it's safe to say that telling your parents you're pregnant is far better than if you were to tell them how you truly feel about religion,"

"Okay? Perhaps, you're right," a snippet of a frustrated huff leaves your trembling lips, "especially not with what's been going on with the church, I don't know how much more they can take,"

"Well, your dad should have thought of that before he had an affair with my mom," Taehyung's icy tone brings chills to your frame before he loudly swallows, lips firm from the anger boiling behind his almond eyes. Tendrils of his bright, red hair glow regardless of how dark the atmosphere is, and you hardly hold back the sheer pain stabbing your heart from the guilt you can't help but endure.

"Tae, I'm so so sorry,"

"Hey," he peers down at you, realizing he may have taken his comment too far, even though you're just as angry towards your father as your best friend is, "you didn't know," sniffling back the remaining mucus clogging your nostrils, you desire to face Taehyung no matter how foolish you think you may look, scooting your body to where your palm indents in his mattress next to his legs, his arm now rests around your waist, and for a split second, you're close enough to where the tempting appearance of his striking face beckons the strange glimmer of longing. A longing of curing whatever loneliness you're going through, but you're not the only one experiencing this moment for Taehyung's lips part just enough to plead your attention.

You can't stop yourself, and you don't, because before either of you comprehend, you close the gap letting the delicate wave of his kiss caress yours. "Tae," you breathe against his lips, reuniting with his kiss almost immediately while a dizzy spell of want travels through your chest. You know this isn't right. He knows this isn't right, but too many pent-up emotions between your hearts have gotten out of hand, and for now, all the two of you have is each other. His fingertips move to tenderly trail your jaw, gasping into his mouth when the tip of his tongue circles yours before you move to trap him in a perfect straddle. You need something, anything to feel whole again- something to forget about the people you lost and the people you will lose. And, if there's anyone in this world you do not want to lose it's him.

There's no refraining, there's no hesitation, just the growing pace of the kisses, and the way you're so enthralled with how beautiful he feels squeezing you tighter to him. "[Y/N]," he moans, hating himself for how far he wants to go with you, yet he craves your touch, nearly supplicates for it. You want to feel his skin, and the aching throb below you seems to deafen any other screams of stopping, and yet, your fingers move to the end of his shirt, peeling it just enough to expose the solid wall of his abdomen. "[Y/N]," he stops you, breaking the final kiss, his hand covering your wrist, while your eyes frantically search the side of his face, "We- we can't,"

You haven't seen him since, because of the boundaries that were crossed and would have been farther crossed if Taehyung had not had the strength to stop. The pair of you have been best friends since childhood, and neither of you wants to take anything beyond for the sake of feeling empty, but he assured you that night, even after your panic of apologies pouring from your mouth, after the humiliation that shackled your system, even after the daunting assumption that your friendship was over- he cupped your cheek, promising that he was still here and that he would never end your attachment over something, you both will never regret.

It's a secret you've suppressed for some time. Taehyung calls every so often when he can; dealing with his broken-hearted father on top of two jobs consumes every bit of his time. Yet, you can't help but miss him, the one person who loyally stayed by your side even when you came forward to your friends about your pregnancy. And, the one friend who still loves you all the same, even after discovering his mother's affair with your father.

Rage isn't enough to describe the resentment against your father, and ever since you told your parents that you were expecting, and ever since your move, you haven't spoken to him. You'll never forget how torn your mother was- depression weighing heavy on her, and that's something that's hard to forgive.

Your mother looks frail as she twiddles the crumpled tissue in her hands. Tears brim her eyes through the silence in the car, sparse sniffles breaking your heart into a million pieces. The two of you had just come back from the grocery store to restock the kitchen in your recently new home and are now parked at the church's back door to drop you off. You hesitated upon leaving because the thought of your mother having to return home to a place of remorse is the last thing you want for her. The promise of a car was granted to you, but you turned it down, refusing to accept anything from the man who caused so much pain to your family. To Taehyung's family.

Running the tissue underneath her eyes, she speaks, "[Y/N]?"

"Yeah?" Your voice is barely a whisper, but the guilt from how stressed your mother has been is something you wish you could carry instead of her. After the betrayal of your father as well as him resigning from the church to send people away from the place they once sought refuge in- on top of her oldest daughter being pregnant with her first child is already a lot to handle. The other frustration you bite your tongue from expressing is the fact of your parents refusing to let you get a job until the time after you give birth. You want to make the money to provide for yourself and your son or daughter without the dependence upon your parents- your mother especially, yet you're grateful for her adamancy on keeping you from any risks outside of the walls of your home.

It takes a moment before your mother gathers her words, "Do you- do you think you could ask Namjoon to help take you to the hospital? Whenever it's time... for you to have the baby?"

It was easier for your mother to ask that of you because he lived in the same building, and if any emergency of your water breaking happened earlier than expected, at least you would have someone available to take you to the hospital. Your gaze clears from the zone out you've had the whole time standing in the entrance of the hallway before Namjoon left. Turning on a heel, you decide to return to your bed, slipping under the covers- you're too wide awake to sleep as of now, yet the foam of the mattress eases the soreness of your back once you lean against the pillows.

-Four months earlier-

Queasiness envelops your abdomen to where you recognize the cue, rushing to the porcelain throne to heave whatever yellow liquid is left- spurting it into the toilet while you grimace through the pain. The door swings open behind you mixed with heavy footsteps quickening to you. When large hands swoop to hold your hair back, you don't have the strength to look at the intruder due to the continuous retching that deems you defenseless.

"It's okay, it's okay," the deep voice is soft, and relief brings tears to your eyes when you recognize it to be Kim Namjoon. You're embarrassed once your stomach gives you a break, your palms pressing to your forehead while you slump against the wall.

"I'm so sorry," you whisper, swiping your mouth with the back of your hand. Namjoon scatters to find a tissue, patting the corners of your lips.

"You don't have to be sorry,"

"That... wasn't what I was apologizing for,"

A knowing glance is all he must give for you to share whatever thoughts you can't bring yourself to voice. He was your friend before all of this, yet you failed to mention to him about the pregnancy, and with him being the worker of the Church- he didn't discover your budding stomach until the day you moved in. His eyes flicker away from your stare toward the slight protrusion of your baby bump due to your ruffled t-shirt. He settles on the floor across from you, silence being the only conversation held. He isn't one to hold anger, and though you kept him unaware until your third month of pregnancy, he refuses to leave your side, making a pact to himself he will do whatever it takes to provide the care that you will need. As well as the little one.

Despite the emotional roller coaster, you remain amazed with how he keeps his patience with you. A day of depression to a random bout of laughter- memories turning of the betrayals of close friends who judged you immediately the day you put your trust in them- the freedom you craved away from the sheltered life your father forced upon you- even days where you can't seem to put your tears on pause, yet Namjoon holds you through every grieve.

"What if... what if I'm not good enough?" Your voice shakes between sobs- you had been dreaming restlessly yet another night, tossing within your bed to the point Namjoon came to check on you- rushing to pull you into his arms the moment your eyes fluttered to reveal pained tears. Your words nearly shatter him- pulling away just enough to where his eyes lock with yours.

"How can you say that, [Y/N]?" The faint light of your lampshade causes his face to glisten- angelically, you decide, yet the shadowing doubt of motherhood plagues you still, because what if you genuinely can't care for the child that you're six months away from holding? Fears encompass you like an ocean, smashing along your mind in harsh waves. "Look at me," are the words that snap you from whatever sea you were suffocating in to realize you had unintentionally switched your gaze from him. It's the calming effect the warmth of Namjoon's eyes bring when he exposes whatever faith he has in the woman you are and will become. "You're going to do just fine, believe me, I know it,"

Sniffling, you run the back of your hand along your chin where an escapee of a tear dangled, "How can you be so sure?"

"Because when have you ever given up on anyone that you care about," it's not a question, he's stating what he knows to be a fact. Something he learned of you when he first was hired to tend to the property. "You're stubborn when it comes to winning someone over. I was determined not to befriend anyone here. But you changed that for me, remember?"

A knowing tug of a smile trembles into a stretch upon your lips, "I do,"

"Same with the baby. I know you will love that little one more than life itself. It doesn't have a choice, and you'll let him or her know the second they're born,"

When a hearty snicker leaves your mouth, you notice the sticky feel of your drying face- you are no longer crying.

"You don't have to do this alone, [Y/N]. You showed me that even when I didn't know what else to do. Now, get some rest, okay? You have a doctor's appointment bright and early," the bed creaks from the gradual movement of Namjoon standing,

"Wait!" You speak before you can stop yourself, Namjoon immediately pausing- the heat of his arms is felt beneath your palms from your pounce of panic, and with evident chagrin, you shyly stare at his chest, "Can you uh, ... Can you stay in here with me tonight?" You've refrained from asking sooner due to the shame of not telling him the news that's become apparent, and even now, you haven't been able to comprehend how he's not the slightest bit angry with you. When his arms encircle you closer to his frame, no words need to be said because he's already answered by just this gesture. Nuzzling into his embrace, the side of his chin pressed to your forehead, "Whoever it is, I hope they grow up to be half the person that you are," you whisper, squeezing him tighter, infinite smiles now ending the night that cures any ounce of uncertainty.

By the fifth month of pregnancy, you finally come to the realization of how selfish you have been- it's no longer about you and your needs; it is now about the needs of your son or daughter growing within you. Namjoon catered to every grocery store trip, stocking the kitchen and in return, you choose to cook for him every meal, hoping to show as much appreciation to him that you can.

"Have you thought about any names?" Taehyung's voice muses on the other line of the phone, the sound of him bringing a small smirk upon your face. You've missed him terribly so, yet the acceptance of surprise phone calls is all you can settle with for now. At his question though, you pause with the tilt of your head, taking a quick sip of the broth that you're currently heating on the stove.

"No?" It's a brief question of guilt, something you haven't been ready to ponder, "Honestly... haven't thought that far ahead yet," you add in the vegetables to boil within the broth.

The familiar, deep chuckle is all you hear to gain an idea of what your best friend is about to say next, "I should have known,"

"Alright, Birkenstocks. What do you mean by that?"

"Breezing past that mistake. You named your Parakeet, Bird,"

"Well, in my defense, I was seven years of age,"

"And in my defense, playing basketball in Birkenstocks was supposed to start a trend,"

"Since how? I-"

"Ask Hoseok,"

"You lost a bet didn't you-"

"And, I will pay for it for the rest of my life, now won't I?"

"With me around, you will,"

Hoseok is the deacon's son who's dream of fashion has been shunned by his family, yet he designs in a sketchbook Taehyung hides for whenever Hoseok and he share the same work shifts. He's not one you have had the opportunity to communicate much with, but you're thankful Taehyung has someone to maintain a friendship with while you two have been apart. A short response of silence settles while your cheek and shoulder squeeze the phone for a moment as you stir the steaming vegetables.

"You could have named the bird, Tweety at least-"

"Oh!" You playfully growl, "Back with that again, huh?"

"Do I need to send you a link of baby names-"

"I promise you, Tae, I do not plan on naming my child, Kid, okay?"

"You'd be surprised-"

Taehyung's excitement for his future Godchild brings a simmering joy to the surface of your pattering heart. Almost as equal to the eagerness, your mother has shown with this being her first grandchild. Graciously, your mother has never been as strict as your father, hence why the past five months have gone much smoother then they would have if your father had never had an affair with Mrs. Kim.

The phone call ends whenever dinner is finished, and by that time, Namjoon scuffles through the door- the outdoorsy scent drifts to your nose while you place the sweltering bowls of soup on the table. Namjoon shimmers his feet from his work boots before hanging his coat, timidly glimpsing in your direction to confirm you're okay.

Small talk ensues with the typical questions of how each of your days has gone once the pair of you take your seats. One secret, yet another you and Taehyung have harbored, is the awareness of Namjoon's atheism- something your father must never learn of his worker. Namjoon, who will not admit it, works on the church grounds in order to provide for his family who lives a few miles up the road. Ultimately, there are many secrets not worth sharing to your parents, not only for the sake of sanity but for the protection of the ones who you've kept close, especially Namjoon. With your father being the tyrant of a priest, he used to be, there is still the potential distress of him firing Namjoon over the mere difference of beliefs. Something you refuse to let happen while you're around.

Clinking spoons replace conversation, for how long, you're uncertain; the fog of your thoughts seem to consume upon one in particular- something that has remained festering long enough, yet you have never said it aloud- figuring this moment may be the time that you do. Namjoon confided in you and Taehyung once he found comfort in trusting the pair of you- even subjects that one would have never expected him to open about. Guilt presents itself to the point your eyes squeeze shut, opening them to move your spoon to play at a piece of broccoli swimming in the potage.

"They don't know," your words are careful- slow even- continuing your vision on the dinner before you. You can feel Namjoon's soft eyes on you, his expression confused. "They don't know who the father is," that's when your gaze trails to meet his eyes just for more guilt to manifest behind them. By they, you're referring to your parents, as well as every other soul excluding Taehyung, "I won't tell them." Namjoon slowly nods with the sense of understanding, knowing the cost that will be taken if your father were to know who you're trying to bury beneath this web of fear. "Besides," you sigh heavily, "I'm surprised my father was lenient enough to let me live here," you confess, "if he wasn't so guilty over the affair, I would be homeless-"

"I wouldn't let that happen," Namjoon says suddenly, destroying whatever anger you were dwelling upon. Your mouth falls open in shock at his words and the frilly flutter of your heartbeat is hard to ignore. After living here for two months, he's proven time and time again that he means what he says; what he just said. Speechless, the rest of dinner continues in fond silence, your heart refusing to steady for the man slowly captivating your heart.

The sixth month of pregnancy gifts swollen feet and aching bones on top of your belly growing heavier by the week. Namjoon has stayed loyal- tending to your pregnancy cravings in the dead of night, aiding to your discomfort whether it involves a heating pack or a cup of ice, slipping under the covers on nights you want him to hold you, driving you to every doctor's appointment without any hesitation; with all that he's been doing for you, it's like your feelings have blossomed deeper which you know shouldn't be happening with the peril of your father finding out. The unexpected visits from your father are few, yet you usher the reminder to yourself of protecting Namjoon, though he carries the weight of facing your father instead of you who avoids the confrontation.

Night comes quickly after a day spent cleaning up the nursery that seems to be coming together, other than the crib Namjoon's been building- something you accidentally discovered when strolling close to the shed one sunny day. He's so dedicated to the unborn infant, it nearly brings you to tears, glancing around the elegant hues of multiple pastel colors painted across the room with stuffed animals, blankets, and furniture he continues to gift you amongst different items your mother has added to the collection. You always enjoy the sporadic visits from your mother, because she's free to celebrate the life that she refuses to consider as a sin.

"Are you thinking boy or girl?" Your mother elbowed your side earlier today after moving around the furniture.

"Hm," you hummed happily, thankful for the relationship that's being redeemed with her, "you know? I'm not very sure,"

"I can tell from all the colors you've chosen," she teased, "it looks beautiful," she cooed, pulling you into an accomplished side hug. You didn't want to stick to just pink or blue, so you chose every other shade in between, colliding the space with colors that could go for either or. "You're going to be a wonderful mother,"

The sound of the front door opens distracting you from the former memory, staring down at the table that now rests heaping plates of chicken and rice. The fellowship hall used to be filled with numerous rows of horizontal tables mingled with circular ones where the crowd would come to camaraderie to joyful hymnals, delicious food, reflected testimonies without any warning of the secrecies soon floating to the surface. Now a solo table, the one planted before you, pairs with a few sparse chairs just enough to seat at least four people.

"Hiya," you greet, trying to ignore the subtle increase of your heartbeat. Namjoon flashes a kid-like smile once he shutters out of his jacket, "How was your day?"

"It was good, thank you," he replies, taking long strides until he makes it to you, "How was yours with your mom?" His right-hand steadies the small of your back while his left one clutches yours to help settle you into your seat. It's hard to focus on the question he just asked when the scent from outside seems to heighten the attraction you already feel towards him, "It was good," you manage to say, reaching for the silverware to begin digging into your food, "Thank you... For helping me," the distance between your stomach and the table now is something you've been trying to get used to as well as the turmoil of trying to stand and sit.

"Anytime."

A blush floods your cheeks when he holds your timorous stare, so you avert your eyes to your dinner, letting the obvious feeling of Namjoon watching deepen the red shade on your skin. A few minutes disappear into time before you feel a shove against your abdomen from the inside. Your hand instinctively flies to press upon the baby bump, Namjoon jumping at the motion, stopping mid-chew, while his eyes enlarge in surprise.

"It's okay," you chortle at his reaction, "it's just the baby kicking," his response reminds you of the moment you felt the baby kick for the very first time- similar to a weird flutter that's hard to describe, and it had taken you a second to realize what it was exactly- just your baby making its presence known to you. Namjoon swallows the bite of food in a nervous gulp, the pang of his silverware mutes from where he lays it on the napkin.

"Here," you murmur affectionately preparing to stand to your feet. Namjoon immediately jolts from his chair, rounding the table to gather your hand in his. Instead of relying on his strength to help you position yourself, you plop back onto the seat, sliding his hand to the area where the baby kicked a few minutes prior. Namjoon kneels to level with you, his plump lips ajar mirroring the widen stance of his eyes while he patiently waits, his nervous heart pounding in his temples. It's the exuberant joy in his smile that meets his eyes in a dazzling glow the pure second the baby kicks again, and the bliss of delight smothers your heart in so many ways imaginable at this moment the pair of you are capturing together. Your hand remains resting upon his while your eyes lock repudiating from breaking contact.

"I told you that you don't have to do this alone," he whispers, and it's then you come to the awareness of how near his face is from yours, his dimples visible from his smile to the point you press your lips to each one, shocked at your act of boldness, but you can't refrain. He's too handsome and too wonderful to stay away from any longer. That's all the invitation needed, for Namjoon's lips brush yours igniting the sparks of what you've been trying to suppress for way too long. Your fingers find his hair when he leans to deepen the kiss, moving his hands to rest on the chair, fingers pressing into the wood until pale white.

At this moment, you don't care what anyone thinks.

You are in love with Kim Namjoon, and there is nothing in this world that's going to scare you away from that.

-Present day-

The pitch black outside the window brings frustration when you awaken to scold yourself for how long you've slept. Gathering yourself once the fatigue rolls off, you cautiously sit up, scooting to the bedpost until you're on your feet. Taking a trip to the restroom, you notice upon exiting the clock on the wall reads seven pm, and you wonder if Namjoon has made it inside for the evening. It's eerily quiet save for the air conditioning, but you pause when you see the lights are on in the main area of the building. Shrugging, you waddle around the corner until the sudden shouts of, "SURPRISE!", nearly knocks you to the ground.

Gasping, your eyes widen while your hand flies to your chest. A prolonged second interferes before your brain deciphers the two individuals cheering before you. Numerous pink and blue balloons hover to the top of the ceiling matching the colors of a cloth decorating the one table now adorned with a cake and wrapped gifts. "What?" You can barely speak from the light headiness taking over, but the tears that well in your eyes when you see the boxy smile of your best friend sends you in an attempt to run just to crash into his arms. He meets you halfway, surrounding you within his embrace as he rocks you back and forth muffling your wails of joy into his checkered sweater. Your soaked cheeks are wiped away from the material as been done countless times before, and his tepid palms squish your cheeks when he steps back to gesture toward your belly.

"Wow look at you! Your belly is huge!"

"I'm still in denial of how fast this pregnancy is going!" You say breathlessly, you're so happy to see Taehyung, you can hardly contain your composure. Namjoon steps forward with his hand reaching to squeeze your best friend's shoulder. Taehyung's fiery strands are curled upon his forehead, lustrous beneath the lights as it always has before, "Your father let you come?" There's a seriousness behind your voice at the question because you are cognizant of the fury Tae's father has against the church from the events that occurred what, in some ways feels like a lifetime ago.

"Well, no," Taehyung winces mischievously, "I told him that Namjoon and I were going to a basketball game,"

"Of course, you did, you sly fox,"

"You know you love me," Tae pecks your forehead before leading you to the table where the sweet whiff of cake flatters your nostrils.

"You guys didn't have to do this," you're still wiping tears off your face, though it's evident that your crying is from untainted gratitude, "What did I do to deserve the two of you?"

Namjoon kneels, intertwining his long fingers with yours, using the tip of his thumb to tickle circles upon your skin, "Taehyung mentioned how when you were kids that you loved surprises, especially if it involved a small party of some sort so," he tilts his head toward Taehyung, "And I knew how much you missed him, too. I just wanted to do something to celebrate you. And, the baby,"

It doesn't take much to smother this man in kisses nowadays, and once you express your thankfulness to the men before you, Namjoon reads your mind, snatching a small kiss in return.

"You two are on kissing terms, again?" Taehyung teases while you poke your tongue at him in mild embarrassment. Namjoon does not know of the moment you and Tae shared, and that's something you're not ready to talk about, and with the cutesy scrunch of Namjoon's face, the memory escapes to the back of your mind for now.

By the end of the night, the frosting had met all three of your faces- some smushed into Taehyung's hair while some swiped across Namjoon's neck, and your eyebrows are smeared along with the possible suspicion of some getting up your nose. Cleaning the mess takes a while, but nobody in the room would trade it for anything, and it's good stalling to prevent the night from completely ending.

Walking Taehyung to his car is the only dread overwhelming your system because you're not sure of when you will get to see him next. Tears flood your eyes, breaking Taehyung's heart as an awe of shame gusts past his lips, "I'm sorry, [Y/N]. My dad's expecting me home soon,"

"I don't want you to go," you choke, on the brink of bursting at the seams- Tae fumbles to tighten his arms behind your back- him trying to be mindful of your abdomen being pressed too firmly against his frame.

"Please don't cry," he whispers near your ear, "Please, please don't cry," His lips curl from the tears burning within his own eyes wishing with all his strength he could rid of the aching hurt that has kept your friendship separated. Tae swiftly pulls away when he remembers another present, he meant to give you earlier, whirling around to unlock his car, bending into the vehicle while his hands shuffle around the floorboard in a desperate search for whatever he wants to show you. When he turns to face you, a sharp inhale of glee echoes into the night- the lopsided plush of a heart is attached to a blue body ornamented with yellow polka dots that match its mouth. "Oh my gosh!" You squeal, "Tae, it's adorable! Where did you find this?"

Wiggling his eyebrows in pride, he hands it to you, "I made it myself. And," he pauses for effect, "since you have trouble naming things, I did the honors and named it for you. I introduce, Ta Ta."

"Ta Ta?"

"Yeah, like 'Ta Ta... for now,'"

"Just when I thought I couldn't love your dork of a self even more," you exhale, slamming your eyes shut just to bury your face further into his chest, not able to breathe in his scent from the clog of mucus stuffing your nose.

"I love you, too." His voice thickens with emotion, "Now, quit saying it like you're never going to see me again, because you know I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?" Your cold nose moves to press into the corner of his jaw where steady breaths move between your parting mouth. It's a serene moment where he turns just enough to glimpse at you, engaging in the beauty he's always found within your heart. Taehyung's agape lips now rest centimeters from yours when his large hands raise to rest his fingertips along your flushed cheeks- the curls of his frizzy hair pressing to your forehead, prickling your closing eyes. You discover your free hand enfolding around his wrist from the daunting desire looming from what's been left unspoken, and the shiver in his breathing brushes your chin once the light touch of his nose cuddles to yours. You both stand there for a seeming reel of eternity, battling the inward mayhem of choice that's displayed itself on the invisible line tempting to be traversed.

"I promise."

He hadn't kissed you, but there was no denial that he wanted to, especially with the way your face has haunted his dreams since the night your lips met in emotional patterns of sorrow. But, deep down, he knows it's too obvious of a choice if the one for him is to be you, but the love that has been kept for you will never go away. The same as a tether of your heart will forever be his no matter how deep your love goes for someone else. Kim Taehyung will always be your poise- your muse- the soulmate of a friendship that you will always need.

Toddling to the nursery upon Tae's departure still presents the boiling tears from your tired eyes dripping off your cheeks as you set Ta Ta beside the koala plushie Namjoon gifted you; the humor involving the struggle of both Taehyung and Namjoon carrying the crib Namjoon built for the baby taunts a smirk at the corner of your lips. It's dark besides the faint light of the hallway behind you, giving you just enough to admire the scenery around you- sniffling back what you can before reaching to cover your quivering chin with your hand. You've missed Taehyung. You miss him. And, how beautiful of Namjoon to surprise you with your best friend's presence? Reuniting the three musketeers from once upon a time?

Little do they know, from the unearthing of your pregnancy to now, the two men have mended your broken heart and stitched it back together again piece by piece. You're highly uncertain of where you would be without them, and just the thought alone is one you refuse to dwell on. While memories turn like a spindle of loosened thread, a revelation halts you in your tracks. The thought rings loud and clear gracing a wide smile on your face while one more set of tears dampen the corner of your eyes.

After scolding yourself for so long for not thinking hard enough on the subject,

right here, hands grasping the handlebar of your future child's cradle,

you finally have a name picked out for your little one.

2 months later....

"Namjoon, I'll be fine," the pointed look you flash him prompts a nervous chuckle once his hands rest to rub gently along your sides. He's concerned as he's been almost the entire pregnancy, but of course, now his worries are heightened to an extreme, "I'm not due until next week. Don't worry,"

"I know," he groans, tugging you closer just enough to plant a warm to kiss to your neck, "But, I can't help it."

"I'll be fine," you drag the word with a teasing sound of a whine. Namjoon shaking his head at you with a smile you're now feeling upon your lips. "Mm," you hum into his kiss, your hands sliding to squeeze his shoulders in reaction to how impeccable it feels. You end the moment simply to gaze at him, "You'll be back before you know it," you assure him- his trip to the grocery store being the plan for the afternoon.

"Okay," he says tenderly, eyes flickering to your lips once more before leaning to brush them to his own, "I love you,"

There's a small pause, one that entails warmth smothering your chest in giddy sensations when his eyes steal yours after pulling away, "I love you, too, Joon," watching him head out the door until the truck disappears along the road.

Of course, the day doesn't go accordingly the way you expect, because on carefully prodding to the kitchen in preparation to cook breakfast, a slight ache ensues within your abdomen. "Oh," you groan, stroking the area with your fingertips before deciding to lay down for a bit instead. When reaching your room, the sharp pain of a cramp returns causing a harsh cringe as you lean against your bedpost, hardly able to concentrate on the attempt of climbing onto the mattress. You remain hunched over for five minutes, forcing slow breaths to prevent from panicking, and when you find the coast to be clear, you straighten yourself out.

Suddenly, before you can comprehend what's happening, a gush of water splatters onto the carpet soaking your feet in the process.

"No," you whisper, eyes frantically scanning your room for your cell phone. Namjoon shouldn't be far with the grocery store only being a few miles away, but in order to get a hold of him, you must find your only way of contacting him. Hands pat your bed, thrusting off the bed covers and shaking them roughly, yet no 'thump' is heard before you cast the covers in a pile onto the ground. The next destination leads to the restroom, with no luck of your phone being in your bedroom- when another wave of pain shoots within your stomach, you gasp, trying to endure through the discomfort with all your might.

Leaving a water trail behind with every step you take, you desperately search the countertops before stepping into the area that holds the kitchen, wondering if there is any possibility it may have been left behind there. Your feet meet the cool surface of the tile floor, your gape scanning the entirety of the space before a pant of relief escapes past your dry lips the second your shaking hands gather the device. "Agh!" A contraction surges, hands squeezing your phone unintentionally, yet you grimace just enough to maintain your focus on the task at hand. Managing to get the phone ringing, it doesn't take long until you hear the man of your dreams at the other end of the line.

"Hello?"

"Joon, it's time," you choke, voice thick with pain.

"Oh, shit! Hold on tight, I'm on my way, just hold tight, I'm coming-"

You just happen to be running by the church in favor of dropping off the work truck keys to your father when he unintentionally introduces you to the new employee you assume he plans to hire, "[Y/N], this is Kim Namjoon. He's going to be taking care of the church grounds for us, isn't that wonderful?"

"Hello, it's nice to meet you," you greet, underlyingly suffering from the attraction swarming to your reddening cheeks. When your father mentioned of hiring, you never anticipated the person to be this overwhelmingly breathtaking.

"It's nice to meet you too, Ma'am," Namjoon's polite nod mirrors the dimples evident from a soft grin, his hand reaching for yours to shake before your father continues the tour of the place you've grown up memorizing. But something initiates you to stay, eyes lingering on the back of the tall figure decked in a turtleneck covered by a green jacket complementing a pair of jeans along with brown shoes. There's a spark of intuition that day, one that ignited the prominent determination that you want to get to know this person even if your father ends up finding out.

Namjoon busts through the door with pure alarm etched in his voice, "[Y/N], I'm here! Baby, I'm right here," he immediately jumps to where you are, keeled over on the floor, throwing his arm around you until he lifts you out of the fellowship hall and into the work truck. Words you attempt to form are muted by whimpers, tears brimming your eyes from the pain that doesn't end, "I'm going to grab the suitcase, I'll be right back," time must be faster than you can measure for Namjoon arrives, slinging the suitcase into the backseat before slamming into the driver's side.

It takes a while for the newly found employee to warm up to every opportunity you take in order to get to know him. One thing he's slowly but surely learning is that you're not one to give up so easily- something you've noticed him picking up on, especially on days, you annoy him when he's on call to build a project. You make it clear to talk to him nonstop until he acknowledges your existence, and the times he doesn't breathe a word results in a call to Taehyung.

"Come help me," you plea hearing Taehyung's exasperated sigh on the other line.

"You are so annoying,"

"You know you love me, fool," you gloat because with defeat, your best friend reluctantly joins you, even accompanying a basketball just in case if Namjoon happens to fancy sports. Your girlfriends, Luna and Jo, were informed of your undying crush on the mysterious worker, crossing their arms in jealousy that you half-heartedly ignored.

"He doesn't even come to the services," Jo droned, "Don't you think it'd be best to get to know someone that's more... active in the church? Like the pianist's son, Min Yoongi. You two had such a cute relationship when you were three-"

You can't get past why no one seems to understand that you must win Namjoon over, and though Luna and Jo have seen the world along with you since childhood, you roll your eyes, turning on a heel, "I'll catch you later,"

Tires screech along the road while Namjoon swerves past cars on the highway, hands ghost white from the tight grasp he has upon the steering wheel. Meanwhile, your hand grips the bar above you while your other rests upon your belly- the keenness of getting to hold your baby in your arms is all you're thinking about other than Namjoon who's keeping you sane.

"Just a few more miles and we will be there. Just breathe," his voice is unsteady from the fright of this situation, but he upholds his enlarged gaze upon the road. He fumbles for his phone- trying to contact anyone from your family in order to tell them the news.

"GAH!" Leaning forward, a wail echoes within the vehicle as another contraction attacks.

"You guys aren't going to stop until I'm your friend, am I right?" Namjoon's elbows are folded from the hold he has on the basketball meeting his chest. Tae jumps sporadically in front of him with outspread arms preparing to prevent the ball from flying into the hoop.

"Damn straight," you shrug your shoulders in observation of Namjoon's tilting head.

"I thought church girls didn't cuss,"

"And I thought you'd have more game than the basketball," You retort.Tae halts, straightening his frame, eyes flickering between you and a quiet Namjoon, "Now hurry up. If you win, I will leave you alone for good. If Tae wins then we treat you to dinner and a movie. How does that sound?"

With an incredulous shake of his head, Namjoon smirks, "Okay," the scuffle of his converse is heard on the pavement when he briefly turns to toss the ball toward the hoop. The basketball pangs the ring, twirling ferociously to the point, your heart begins to sink, but to your pleasure, the ball tips off the rim, landing in a rejoicing Taehyung's arms.

"HAH!" You sprint, colliding into Taehyung's embrace while Namjoon tries to stifle the smile overtaking his lips, "Looks like it's going to be a burger and fries' kind of night," you wink, unaware of the hope that Namjoon has of wanting to gain your friendship just as much.

The hospital entrance appears after the rush of Namjoon turning into the parking lot soon helping you out of the truck. The suitcase will have to wait being he can retrieve it later, his ultimate goal is getting you within the building to where you're safe. "It's okay, it's okay," he tries to appear relaxed, but everything becomes a blur until a nurse with fluffy, black hair approaches with a wheelchair to help settle you in. His nametag reads 'JIMIN' – him rolling you quickly down the hall when the presence of a female nurse whose nametag reads 'MONNIE' helps you change into the nightgown upon arrival of the hospital room. Voices are mingling together from the pounding in your temples, but Monnie keeps her hands gentle on your back to lead you to the bed where she hooks you up to what seems like a million machines whilst providing as much comfort to you as possible.

Namjoon's calloused hand covers yours when one other nurse, Jungkook, floods the room, bringing a chair for him to sit in. You're not sure of all the commotion that's overwhelming the room, but you steady your breathing as Namjoon directs, squeezing his hand through each contraction. You recognize the doctor, Kim Seokjin, a tall man already dawned in a scrub hat, mouth mask and gloves, scurrying to where you are, "Alright, I am going to check your dilation Ms. [Y/N], just breathe in and out." Slamming your eyes shut, you whimper from the discomfort, "Alright, she is dilated three centimeters. Once you are at ten centimeters [Y/N], you will begin pushing. No worries, I will alert you as soon as I need you to begin. Keep breathing. Everything will be okay,"

"Taehyung... My mom... Dad-" you murmur deliriously between breaths, the foggy sense of your conscious outweighing how to speak properly.

"No worries baby, they're on their way. They're on their way right now," he sweetly kisses your perspired forehead, running his free hand through your tangled hair.

The three musketeers were official after the day at the basketball hoop, eventually learning of Namjoon's atheism as well as him providing for his family.

"My dad couldn't find a job that pays enough, so I promised him that I will do whatever it takes," it had been six months since Namjoon had been hired, and currently is finishing his final paint to the shed while you and Taehyung sit Indian style in the grass. "Thanks to the job here, I can afford the rent for my parents as well as give them my car since here, I just use the work truck..." Namjoon sharing more in-depth with his life story- you finally get what you've been determined to gain since meeting him.

It's weeks later that you'll never forget, leaning against a mini, red monkey bar after sharing your feelings toward the man you've grown so fond of. There's no denying the feelings he's had for you, and once he inches closer, the crave to hold his hand has never been stronger. Boldly, your fingers trail to intertwine with his, your nerves close to getting the best of you despite the persistent smile that hasn't left him. When you find the bravery to look up at him, he swallows calmly before leaning in, you stand on your tiptoes to meet halfway until your lips touch. The slide of his arms encompassing your frame feels so inviting when he presses his body to yours. The world is put on pause to you and nothing else matters other than the way his lips move so elegantly- your arms wrapping around his shoulders while he sways you from side to side.

Time doesn't seem to speed up through all this pain, but the adrenaline swimming in your veins peaks when Dr. Seokjin prepares to check your dilation again. "Ten centimeters-" He confirms, "Alright, [Y/N], the baby's coming. When I say push, you push. Okay," he positions himself though you can't see anything past your gown and raised knees, "One, two, three! Push!"

"AGH!" You grunt, a small scream vibrating at the back of your throat once you push with every fiber of strength, you can muster.

"Breathe, breathe," Namjoon's hand hasn't once left yours- sweat pouring from your scalp while the burning agony overpowers your body.

"Is she here!?" The click of darting heels enters the room and are loud enough for it to catch your attention. "Oh, honey, I'm here!" It's your mother- scampering to your side with the undeniable blur of Taehyung's red hair following suit. You want to ask where your father is, but before a chance is given, the doctor shouts, "Push!"

"AAAAAAAGH!" You manage, body straining in all its entireness. Taehyung jolts to let you squeeze his hand along with Namjoon's. His features show nothing but fear at the sight of you being in so much strife, yet he holds it together enough to cheer you on.

"I'm- I'm so glad you both are here," you cry- another sixty seconds drifting before the shout of, "Push!" erupts.

"I'm scared," you murmur in the dimness of the room. On your knees, Namjoon's soothing hands glide along the tops of your thighs motivating you to run your hands along his forearms. You don't know where your parents are, and you're too angry to care. You're bushed of the fighting so, you sought comfort in being here, with Namjoon. Taehyung dropped you off at the fellowship hall with the promise of not breathing a word- because if your parents were to find out remotely of your whereabouts, you'd hate to discover what the consequences will be.

"Me too," his nervous eyes investigate every inch of your face. You've never been with anyone this way before- secretly hidden away from the world outside trying to suppress the revealing crave of what you're curious about. Scooting forward, you drape either leg around him, propping yourself enough to where your arms lace around his neck.

His breath hitches from the gesture- your lips erotically aligning with his in slow movements, heat rising below you when you feel the hardening of his being beneath your sense, "I want you," you whisper. He knows that you're a virgin, and with care, he lays you on the bed, hovering above your frame where your bodies align perfectly. "Are you sure this is what you want," concern consumes his countenance, but you desperately bring your hands to cup his cheeks.

"I don't think I've wanted anyone so much in my life,"

You gasp into his kiss where he slips his tongue along yours- the sensation one you've grown used to from the slovenly kisses leading up to this very night. You give Namjoon permission to sneak his large hands underneath your shirt, trailing up your ribcage before swallowing your breasts whole in his heated palms. Nipples so sensitive, your heat drenches the moment he realizes the effect it has on you just by merely brushing the rising buds, lipping at your neck while he basks in the beauty of your moans. "More," you beg, "Please, Joon, more." When clothes start to be thrown off, you're determined to pleasure him, but have not an idea on how to do so. "Show me," you breathlessly demand, Namjoon's palm leading yours to encircle his twitching being. You stroke his erection as shown, biting your lower lip from the throbbing feeling of your core- him instantly finding your entrance to fill it with his fingers as carefully as he can- both of you pleasuring each other, yet still getting lost in kissing so deeply, the two of you forget to gasp for air. The sensation of heated pressed bare skin can be the most beautiful thing, especially with the way your legs entangle with his. You're surprised the feel of his prodding fingers didn't bring as much discomfort as you would have originally anticipated, but when he brings a hand to his penis, he rubs his tip along your slit letting the sloppy sound of you leak onto it. "Holy shit," he moans from how soaked you are for him- his fingertips finding your clit while yours dig into the backs of his shoulders.

Smoldering kisses move from your lips to your breasts, down your abdomen to your inner thighs where you tense underneath his touch that slides to hold your bottom half where he can scan your heat. The tip of his tongue swipes upon your slit excruciatingly slow to the point your fingers tangle with the material of the bedsheets. The smacking sound of his lips savor your taste while his tongue circles your core- you're hyperventilating from how deliciously he flicks his tongue upon your slit, screaming his name relentlessly- the speed of his skilled mouth driving you wild from the growing climax beckoning your stiffening thighs, "Oh, Namjoon, oh- Joon- I- Oh!"

He's not ready for you to finish because there's more he wants to show you. Hovering above you once again to see you coming down from your high, your heaving chest longs for his touch, and he nearly comes undone from the smile embellishing your face. His tracing fingertips parade along the outline of your body in featherlike tickles while the sounds of panting breaths mingle with shifting sheets bring subtle music to your ears for the rest of the night. The gentle parting of his lips grasps your own in smooth movements persuading arousal streaming from your core. Your fingers now link with frilly tufts of his hair, gripping the strands in reaction to the pressing of his bare chest to yours, dreaming of nothing more than to be entwined with him for what you hope will be forever. Hips grinding into yours prompts the light moan teasing his ears for more before his mouth trails to pause above your pounding heart. His hair brushing your chin, your arms glide to wrap around him holding the hope that he will never let you go. Not even for a second.

"Alright, one more! Almost done! Push!"

Sucking in one long breath, with a compulsory scream, you push with all you have left in you. Exhaustion weakens your limbs, yet a rush of relief floods your body when the cries of an infant reverberate within the room. With heavy eyes, you turn to see your mother with tears cascading down her face and onto the back of her hand covering her agape mouth- eyes remaining locked in front of her. Taehyung's gaze doesn't drop though his fingers loosen from yours at the small bundle immediately apprehending the eyes of every individual. Right then, you move your head to your other side where Namjoon gradually rises in awe- his hand still has yours. Gathering any ounce of strength, you're ready to see the child you've been waiting to hold for nine months, so cautiously you sit up until your stare meets Dr. Seokjin's. You can see the smile in his eyes despite the mouth mask, and what he says next brings you to tears, "It's a girl,"

"Oh!" You thrill, anxious to meet her while the nurses scurry to clean her up.

"Sir, would you like to do the honors?" The doctor gestures a pair of scissors towards a stiffened Namjoon whose eyes are welled with hushed tears. He can't even speak, yet he nods from the happiness exploding beneath his chest.

"Wait," Your mom says, "Is- is?"

It's a moment that seems to fit the setting for your father walks in, as if on cue, shoulders slumped from the anticipating tension now darkening the room. Taehyung's shoulders tensed at the sight of the man he despises, but for the sake of you, Namjoon and his Godchild, he keeps his composure enough to ignore the elephant now standing in the room. The fear that used to consume you upon your dad unraveling the truth about your secret vacates you when you know that you and the two men present can conquer anything.

"Yes," the answer is to your mother, but your stern glower of warning is only connected with your dad's although your mother's stare remains on you, "Namjoon is the father."

Namjoon stands with pride while he accepts the pair of scissors from Dr. Seokjin- your father, with a shocked expression, watches as the man he hired happens to be the same man who stole his daughter's heart without his knowledge. Yet, he refrains from anger, because who is he to ruin such a precious moment about to unfold here?

Pictures are taken of Namjoon cutting the umbilical cord, his fingers gently rubbing his daughter's cheek while he wipes at the tears dripping from his eyes. Jungkook takes her into his arms to weigh her before wrapping her in a plush pink blanket, "She is seven pounds and five ounces,"

Endless joy envelops your heart from the scene playing out before you; especially, when the vision of your father's quivering chin, admiring his granddaughter leaves you speechless along with the hope of redemption entering your beating heart.

"Are you ready to hold her?" Monnie's kind eyes match her smile when she touches your arm.

"Yes," you stifle a sob, "I want to hold her,"

Monnie poses her arms to where Jungkook places your daughter, Monnie guardedly turns to rest your baby into your arms. Her small face chortles, her eyes closing while she puckers her tiny lips. "She's so perfect," you cry, love in all its beauty falling from your eyes while you watch your daughter's fingers fold individually upon her chest.

"Just like you," Namjoon whispers, locking eyes with you before inching forward to give you a loving kiss.

"I love you, Joon," you whisper, pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth.

"I love you, too."

"Uh," the deep serenade of your best friend interrupts, all attention abruptly turning to see him raise an index finger in the air, "So, as the Godfather, I must ask a very serious question," the room chuckles along with him as they patiently wait for his request, "What's her name?"

"Ah," you nod, realizing that hasn't been made known to anyone other than to yourself. Your mother steps forward to place her hand upon your shoulder while your father keeps his distance enough to not cause any trouble- though the two of you share a small smile to let him know all is well. Namjoon watches you in admiration- the woman of his dreams holding his child in her arms while facing her deepest fear yet holds her head with pride about the man she will spend the rest of her life with along with her daughter swaddled to her chest. You are everything he's ever longed for and more, and he's ready to defeat any storm in life if it's with you and his daughter.

To answer Tae's question though, you return to face him, tears gathering in exhilarating bliss.

"Taejun." Her eyes slightly open at the hearing of her name as a tiny smile adorns her lips,

"Her name is Kim Taejun."

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jawritter · 4 years

Text

The Devil And I

Part 1

Summary: What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? You survived after you thought your mate had died, but how will you survive finding out he's alive, only different.

Warning: Heartbreak, pining sickness, ABO dynamics, ABO, angst, tears, I think that's it for this part.

Pairing: Alpha!Demon Dean x Omega!Reader; Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!Reader

Word Count: 1965

A/N: I decided to bring this little mini series over to you guys from Patreon because I have been so busy working on a series that I haven’t been able to write any new one shots, and you guys have been asking for some ABO. This is a little different from my normal ABO series, and it’s totally unbeta’d so all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! I hope you all enjoy this one!

My Masterlist Become A Patreon

Life has a way of fucking with you. The things you thought you had gotten over and permanently walked away from have a way of coming right back around to bite you in the ass when you least expect it.

It took years for you to get over Dean Winchester. Nights of panic attacks, nightmares, near death-inducing heartbreak, and suffocating grief that you honestly thought would be the death of you. Finally, one day at a time, you started to surface from your title wave of gut-wrenching emotions and heartache to start to live a little again at a time.

It has taken you years to get where you are now. To be able to get up and function like a normal person. To be able to eat something, and keep it down. To be able to sleep through the night, on most nights anyway. The only visible scar you carried on your body was your faded and disintegrating claiming mark that once marked you as Dean’s mate.

It was a miracle you had survived his rejection, and it was an even bigger miracle that you didn’t get pregnant through the whole ordeal, but to say Dean wasn’t exactly himself when he’d claimed you was an understatement. In fact, his eyes were normally not the bright green that was shining through the dimly lit bar you were both sitting in right now. They were, in fact, coal black when you met him, and they were black the last night you saw him.

You could scent him across the bar that you were working at when he walked in, and even though he scent was... different. Not as strong, not as sharp, more of the warm sandalwood, and pine than it was when he was with you.

When he was with you there was a spice to it. Now that was gone.

You could tell by the way he’d held his body, and carried himself as he played pool with a tall man that you assumed was the “Sammy” he’d left you to confront, and the Omega that was with them, he wasn’t the same man. He didn’t seem as lethal, or like he could take on the whole bar with the very snap of his fingers like he had. He seemed… Well… Normal.

Dean had picked you up here at the bar one night when he came in alone, and you were drawn to him instantly. His scent was mouthwatering as it was now, and there was an almost supernatural pull that drew you to him. He took you in the back of his ‘67 Chevy, knotted you, claimed you, and that’s how you learned of the world of angels and demons. Most importantly that Dean wasn’t exactly human, and he owned you as well as your very soul.

You suppressed a whine and forced yourself to look down at the beer in front of you; peeling the label with your fingers as you tried to focus on the bottle in front of you and not the green-eyed man that was at one time your Alpha, but now was so different.

You could hear his boom of a laugh from across the crowd of people, and your heart felt like it was being ripped out of your chest anew. Well, what was left of a heart anyway. You thought it had all died by now, apparently, there was a little bit left.

When the pining sickness had finally left, and you miraculously survived it, you were convinced that Dean had died. That’s why the mark he’d left on you was fading, and that’s why he never came back for you.

Dean would always come back. Sure, sometimes it was covered in head to toe with someone else’s blood; but town to town, city to city, he never left you behind.

Dean was twisted, and he liked things hard, rough, and bloody, but sometimes there was a softness there that made you wonder what kind of man you used to be, now you knew, because it was standing right in front of you.

“You okay miss?” a young man asked you as he walked by your table, and you hurriedly wiped the tears away that you hadn’t even realized had fallen until the young man had got your attention away from Dean and his pool stick he was leaning on.

You cleared your throat and nodded before answering him.

“I’m fine,” you said, your voice so small that you barely heard it yourself above the sounds of the bar that filled the room.

The young man’s eyes followed the path of your previous gaze before landing back on you.

“That asshole Alpha do something to hurt you, Omega, the one that is leaning against the pool table?” he asked, but you just shook your head no, and after staring at you a few more seconds he gave up and turned to leave you in your misery.

You knew you had to get up and walk out of this bar, that people were going to notice that you were a mess, and you were going to attract unwanted attention from the other Alpha’s in the bar, but you just didn’t have it in you.

It was like some invisible force you had no control over was holding you to your seat, and even if you tried to stand up, your legs would collapse from under you, and you would then just be a puddle of nothing on the floor.

You watched every move Dean made. The way his body angled as he lined up his shot on the pool table, the way his tongue peeked out of his lips just enough to see the tip while he furrowed his brow in concentration.

Everything about him was so familiar but so different all at the same time. He was still just as beautiful, just as strong and heartbreakingly handsome. Still, he wasn’t the same Alpha that had claimed you. The mark on his arm was gone, and the scent was slightly different. It was almost like the demon had become the man again, and you were just left behind, and all but forgotten about.

The game of pool ended, and the winnings were split amongst Dean and the two other men playing against him and Sam, then after it was over Dean downed the rest of his beer as Sam slung his arm around his Omega, and they all turned to make their way out of the bar.

This was it, Dean was leaving again, and he was leaving without you. You felt like your chest had literally been slip open, and that you were about to die right there in that corner booth. You didn’t even realize you were following them until the cold night air hit your tear-streaked face, and the railing of the small porch attached to the front of the old wood-framed bar stopped you.

You weren’t the only one that noticed you had followed the three out of the bar. Sam’s Omega grabbed at his shirt and pulled until she got his attention, then pointed at you. You were frozen to the spot, too scared to move. The hazel eyes of the tall Alpha watched you for a moment, but you just couldn’t move.

Finally, Sam cleared his throat to get his brother’s attention, and Dean followed his gaze. One foot in the driver side door of the Impala, and his impressive frame hidden mostly behind the door.

You watched as Dean’s brow furrowed in confusion as his eyes raked over your trembling form before looking at Sam, who was looking between yourself and Dean. Both men shared a tense glance as if having some sort of silent conversation between themselves before Dean’s eyes found your own again. Even though the blurred, tear-stained vision you had, you could see how his green eyes sparkled against the darkness of the parking lot.

Looking at him this close, you could see the darkness that once was there was lifted; the man that you always assumed was underneath on full display.

“Omega,” he said, the deep tremble of his voice shooting through your shell shocked brain, making you flinch back as his voice seemed to send a joist of electricity directly to the claiming mark that was all but gone now.

“Omega, are you okay?” Sam asked, and you shot a wild gaze in his direction before your eyes fell back on Dean, who was gradually making his way closer to you, leaving the door open to his ‘67 Impala.

You could feel every fiber of your being pulling you towards the man that used to be your Alpha as if your body was calling out to him, and you wondered if he could feel it too. There was no way you could ask him because right now all you could do was cry.

Sam kept his distance but kept his eyes on you as Dean approached you slowly with his hands raised as if to show you he meant you no harm. The closer he got the stronger his scent seemed to become.

“Dean,” Sam said, a warning in his voice, and Dean shot a look at his brother that you didn’t understand. All you could understand was that this was your Alpha, and he didn’t even recognize you. You could see it in the way he moved, in his eyes.

Then he saw it. The faded claiming mark on your throat, and you watched as he tried to swallow around the lump in his throat.

He was close enough to grab you before he finally reached his hand out for you to take. “Omega, where is your Alpha?” he asked, still completely unaware that your Alpha was standing there asking you the very question everyone else was thinking; the one you had thought for months.

“You… You don’t know… Do you?” you finally made your own voice work enough to ask him. He turned his head in confusion and took a step closer to you. When he did, in a fit of bravery, you grabbed his large calloused hand and placed it directly over your faded calming mark.

You watched as his pupils dilated, and recognition swept over his face. He almost stumped as he pulled his hand away from your neck, around three shades paler than he was a moment ago.

“Dean?” Sam asked, and you vaguely noticed that his Omega was now standing very close to his right arm with her hand on his bicep.

“She… She’s my Omega… I claimed her when I was a demon,” Dean said, his eyes locked on yours, and you were pretty sure he could see your pulse racing just under your skin.

You were a shaking, trembling, mess standing there in front of the man that once was your Alpha. You felt like your world was spinning around you, and knew if he rejected you right now, and walked away from you again you’d never live through it. Not this time.

“Your, I’m sorry what?” Sam asked, sharing a look from his Omega to Dean.

“I’m so sorry,” Dean said, shaking his head as he took a good step back from. You grabbed the railing for support, and looked down at your feet, unable to look at the man that was once your Alpha.

“Dean, she’s not gonna…”

“I know Sam!” Dean yelled before his brother could finish his statement, and you almost hit your knees.

Dean instinctively reached out and caught you in his strong hold, and his scent surrounded you so thick that you felt like it was seeping through our very skin. The world started to fade from your vision, and the next thing you remember was everything going black around you.

Pt. 2 here

Forever Tags;

@deandreamernp

@forgetthisbull

@miraclesoflove

@deanwanddamons

@rvgrsbrns

@chevyharvelle

@onethirstyunicorn

@i-love-superhero

@lyss-dw79

@magssteenkamp

@lemondropirwin

@squirrelnotsam

@hobby27

@spnbaby-67

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@defenderrosetyler

@screechingartisancashbailiff

@thecreatiivecorner

@vicmc624

@busy-bee-angel-misska

@justanotherwinchester

@brilovesdeanwinchester

@idksupernatural

@lyarr24

@amandamdiehl

@miraclesoflove

@emoryhemsworth

@dean-winchesters-gardian-angel

@softsebastian

@tatted-trina6

@anaelsbrunette

@hayleeharling

@flamencodiva

@coldmuffinbanditshoe

@dirty-pan-goblin

@itmejado

@supernatural3002

@teresa-67

@thoughts-and-funnies

@hearteyes-j2

@miss-nerd95

@writers-whirlwind

@peaches007

@bobbie3939

@lunarmoon8

ABO Forever:

@lyarr24

@anaelsbrunette

Dean’s ABO

@akshi8278

@love-jackles-37-blog

226 notes · View notes

lstories · 3 years

Text

Noah's perspective: Life Under The Sea

4 story's in the works and 2 more I'm still drafting and I decided I'll make a new story and complete it first. I love mer story's and mer vore story's so I wanted to try one were the mer is the tiny. I Read a story a while back that I heavily baced this one off of but couldn't find it again, if anyone knows it could you tell me so I could link it.

(Safe, soft, vore, willing prey, semi willing pred, cursing, tw blood, tw alcohol, tw panic attacks. Sounds worse than it is)

Word Count: 4,589

"This is going to sting a little"

"GAAH! That was more than a sting and you know it"

"There is only four more shots to go, your doing great"

"ONLY!"

Noah was freaking out, one of his biggest fears was the ocean and he was being sent down to the depths on an exploratory mission to see what was taking out all the drones and to set the first colony underwater. He was a military jet pilot, this was the last thing he should be doing, even for disciplinary actions. They call it a joy ride for a reason and he wasn't the only person involved so why was he the only one being punished this harshly. He looked out the window and saw the waves, no land in sight. Noah felt like he was going to vomit.

"Why do I need shots anyway, I'm going to the depth of the corAL FOREST! GAH! Give me a warning! FUCK THAT HURTS!

"It only hurts beacuse you're tense, just relax"

"Relax! I-I can't just... it's not that simple!"

"Here, just breathe, listen to the waves"

He did as the nurse said, he listened to the waves crash against the ship. Could he feel the ship rocking faster? Were the waves getting louder? A sharp pain in his back brought him back to reality.

"JESUS! That doesn't help at all"

"Just find something that makes you calm cause I'm getting tired of trying to be a good nurse"

"Just tell me about the shots, what are they supposed to do while I'm down there. J- AAHH! FUCK"

"God your a wimp. (sigh) The extreme pressure underneath will be extremely pressing and will collapse your body without proper training. As a pilot your training should help you stay underwater for an extended period of time, even if your outside your suit for whatever reason. There will still be things we or you cant control without these injections though. The extreme pressure will aid in the genesis process we are subjecting you to and will allow you to stay underwater for an extended period of time without injury and could potentially increase life expectancy, muscle and tissue generation, mussels and tissue durability and flexibility, sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell and a decrease in hunger and digestive abilities allowing you to go days with a full stomach from food you ate last week. If you decide to continue past your one year stay the effects would only continue to be enhanced without further genetic engineering. If and most likely when you come back up, you would have muscle and bone density strong enough to move a car and barely break a sweat. Please look over to the cat poster"

"What caAA-... helped a bit, your talking helped a bit"

"You're all set, please leave and put on the wet suit then go to the drop pod."

"Ya, thanks for the-"

"Leave"

"Yep"

Noah walked down the corridors of the ship, passing closed doors and soldiers in military uniforms. Eventually he came by his room and walked in. He didn't have much in his room but then again he was only staying on the ship for one night before he would be sent down into the ocean. He looked out the window and it finally dawned on him that this was the last time he was going to be above water for possibly over a year. His mind started to race as his breath quickened, he wasn't ready for this. He walked further into his room and steadied himself on the table, his breathing started to get shakey as he vividly thought about every tiny thing that could go horribly wrong. The windows in the ship could shatter, or they might land unevenly and get stuck in the drop pod. He glanced to the mini fridge and stumbled over to it, catching himself and forcing himself not to curl up on the ground. He opened the small fridge, he felt the wave of cool air wash over him, he realized how much sweat was pouring off him before he reached into the back, pulling out a beer from a six pack, it was the last one. He idly flicked the cap with the nail of his thumb as sat down on his bed and closed his eyes, he hasn't had a drink in over a decade but the minor actions calmed him anyway. His nail was already going white with scratch marks and the tip of his thumb started bleading as the cap started to tear away at the scab that formed from the past few days of him doing this. He slowly opened his eyes, his hands were shaking and blood was spilling down his wrist and the neck of the bottle. He got up and threw the whole bottle away, he walked into the bathroom and bent over the sink, just trying to hold himself up.

Noah held the hand that was bleading to steady it and washed it off, he fumbled around the cabinet above the sink for something. Noah had no idea what he was looking for, there was this awful noise in his ears and he couldn't focus. He shook his head to clear the voice before auctly paying attention to what he was looking for. He grabbed the gauze and small tube of neosporin and stared applying it to his thumb. After a few seconds of calming himself down he looked in the mirror, right over his shoulder and to the garbage can. They weren't allowing anyone with anything above a 0.0 BAC underwater so that was a good thing, or a horrible thing depending on how you looked at it. Noah wished he could break his promise and grab that beer out of the trash, but he couldn't, he wouldn't break his promise, no matter how much he didn't want to go. Noah sat there for a few minutes, he didn't think, he didn't talk, he just stared at himself. His golden blond hair was a scraggly, matted mess from all his sweat and he was starting to grow a thin stubble of a beard that was just as golden as his hair. Unfortunately for him they didn't allow razors or any sort of non military accepted knife on the ship either. His eyes didn't help his look, a deep and uncanny looking brown was where his iris should be. Not a normal or pretty brown, not even ugly brown but something that looked like every color mixed together improperly somehow. He took one last look over himself before speaking. "What would she think of you now" he shallowly laughed at himself before returning to his bed.

On the pillow was a small case about the size of his palm. He opened it and pulled put a small black roll that he looked over for a few seconds. They said it would be on his bed when he returned but this couldn't be it, could it? He ran his non bleading thumb over it until his nail caught something. He pinched the small little clip and let it unfurl, it just kept rolling and rolling, eventually it split off into three different rolls and the middle one split again into two more. Eventually it stoped, it was deffenetly a suit but it was way to thin, he gently rubbed part of it between his fingers and it gave way much more easily than he thought it would. It started to fill with air and expand horizontally as it stretched to his proportions. It was a thin black suit with orange around the wrists and face. He slipped into it, taking much longer than it should of before he took of. He ran down the hallway, he was deffenetly late as he passed more and more empty room's. He wanted to hide, he wanted to run back to his room and sleep it away but it was either this or he was fired.

He turned a corner and almost ran into the general, immediately turning and running into the small line of people and found a spot. A scientist walked over and handed him a glass plate and some gloves. Noah immediately put the gloves on and held the glass plate under his arm like everyone else. The colonel stated to talk and Noah immediately started to drift off, he didn't care what he was saying and he'd let his subconscious remember everything for him. Somthing about new technologies, making a new world under the old, and unknown life forms. Eventually everyone put on there masks and Noah followed suit, putting it on. The orange--- whatever the suit was made out of extended and gripped the small glass plate and stuck it to his face. After a while and more nonsense talking a few people were taken away by the scientists. After a bit of silence everyone was guided onto the drop pod, luckily it didn't have any windows and Noah felt a bit happier about that.

There was about eight people left overall, some crying, some talking to others and some sleeping like Noah. After a bit (and a quick nap) a bunch of metal clanks were heard above them as everything became a little lighter. It took over four hours to finally hit the bottem, small bumps of flesh on metal and loud echoing scratches were occasionally heard on the way down. Almost everyone was silent for the entire trip, everyone was on high alert the entire way down. When everyone got up and started to bustle around to grab supplies, Noah still sat in some form of shock. He eventually got up, and walked to the wall, a small black pack with his name and the word scavenger printed underneath. "Great, just great" he said as he walked to the pressure chamber and let the water start flowing in around him. His mind immediately betrayed him, his suit could be flawed and he'd drown, his training might not come in handy and he would be crushed, or there could be a monster outside that was already killing the rest of his team. He could feel a dribble of sweat rundown his face as the door opened.

He slightly walked/stumbled outside once the door was open. It was a sight to behold, people were already setting up futuristic buildings with a small handheld printers, others were already picking up scrap metal and other things then scanning them with some type of other small gun and they disappeared into nothingness. Noah took a step forward, he wasn't ready for a small bounce when he set his foot back down. He slightly swayed his arms and swam a bit. He slowly fell back to the ground and laughed a bit, maybe this wouldn't be so bad. He looked over to someone on top of the drop pod attaching lights to the top, as one turned on he saw a group of three people holding futuristic rifles and shoulder mounted plasma cannons. Past them was the coral forest, deep blue coral taller than some trees on the surface were growing strait from the ground and if Noah wasn't mistaken, the glowing rainbow swirling up the coral was algae. He took his focus off them and reached into his pack, it almost seamed like it fused with his suit. He grabbed a small device from the pack and studied it for a while. It looked like half of a gun, something he should combine with something else. Looking back the saw the people talking the scrap also had the same gun, he put two and two together and started looking for something to use it on. Eventually he found a small piece of a ship wreck and scanned it, the light shining over the piece of orange metal was intriguing to Noah and he watched the small piece of metal disappear into a small stream of bubbles. He watched the bubbles rise and rise... and rise. His breath started to quicken as he remembered he was underwater. He fell to a knee and clutched his sides, he could feel his heart beating against his ribs. This was going to be a long year.

Time skip: 1 Month Later

Noah was starting to get used to the ocean. His panic attacks had almost come to a complete halt as he stopped thinking about where he was. If he didn't move his limbs to fast he could almost picture it as a different planet, say for the lack of stars in the pitch black sky. Everyone started to make there own houses and buildings, the infrastructure of a city was already starting to appear. There has only been one known casualty, a man was on a scavenging run and fell into a magma chamber. The suits were designed to be able to take the heat of magma and it did, the suit was undamaged. Unfortunately that guy didn't like to wear gloves and the heat spread threw his hands to the rest of his body like a conductor. The exploration team that went into the corral forest also never came back and were presumed MIA and no more manned explorations were allowed into the forest. Noah was now the only scavenger left as his team all started to do what they were higherd to do, and his team needed supply's. Luckily their radars found an old German U boat that he could scavenge, unluckily it was on the edge of the corral forest and a two day's trip to get there.

Noah set out, his pack still had some rations and regular food after all this time. He didn't think that this food would last him a month let alone a year but he barely had to eat anything. He was running on an empty stomach for the past few days and he wasn't hungry at all. He walked along the edge of the coral forest, the higher ups didn't want anyone going in or over the forest, and Noah didn't want to go threw it either. He had to admit though that it was beautiful, large deep blue trees with a rainbow algae spiraling up the trees and over the branches. He kept walking, a few sharks and other aquatic species that he he didn't recognize tried to bite at him. The suit was a perfect defense against what seemed to be everything in the ocean as nothing could penetrate it. Soon Noah was getting tired, he tried to think of a place to sleep, the algae on the trees was soft and he could pull some sand over him to keep the currents from blowing him away. He walked a little bit further along the edge of the forest while trying to find an overly fluffy tree to sleep on. He's been seeing a commotion every so often in the distance, but he wasn't expecting to have something long and blue to come flying out of the forest and under his arm with a shark following suit.

The shark bit at Noah's arm, the small blue fish pressing itself tighter against his Noah's side. Noah tried to fight off the shark, eventually pushing it away and punching it in the nose. The shark swam off into the black of the ocean, the small blue creature still trembling under his arm. He reached under his arm to shoo away whatever was there, the small creature darted under his other arm. He finally got a look at the size, it had to be at least half his arm span. He raised both of his arms and the small creature darted around his body, eventually curling itself around his neck. For a second Noah thought he was going insane, were those tiny hands on the back of his neck? He tried gently shooing the thing away from his neck, it wasn't pressing down hard enough to choke him but it wasn't something he was too comfortable with having. Eventually it got the memo and started unfurling itself from his neck and gently swam up to his face. It couldn't be, a tiny peron was floating in front of him. Light blue almost glowing hair and a slightly blue tinted body, it looked like it had scales at its waist. He followed it down and saw what looked like an eel tail, slowly retreating from Noah's neck.

The little person approached his face plate and pressed his hands on it, Noah only gave a confused look in response. He had to be dreaming, this couldn't be real, could it? The eel slowly backed away from him and full force rammed the face plate with its shoulder. Noah slightly jumped at what it was doing and gently grabbed the eel. It slightly wriggled in his grasp as before Noah tried to speak to it "what do you think your doing, your going to break your arm" the small eel looked up at him dumbfounded. After a bit of silence the eel finally responded with a few clicks and chirps while rubbing its arm. Noah was confused to say the least, he let the tiny go and held out his palm for it to sit in, instead it wrapped itself around his wrist and squished its hands into the orange fabric next to the gloves. Noah lightly chuckled to himself "all right, you can sleep there for the night" he walked over to the nearest tree and laid down on it. He silently scooped some sand onto himself with his free hand, the tiny looked up at him confused. Noah gently ran a finger down the tinyes back "your freezing" he whispered as he held the tiny eel person to stomach. After a bit the Noah started to drift off, the eel was not having that, it got up and started pulling on Noah's finger.

Noah opened his eyes back up to see the tiny struggling with all it's might to bring Noah somewhere. Noah reluctantly got up and followed the tiny, the glowing hair keeping it in sight at all times. It darted around the darkness of the ocean and back to Noah to make sure he was following. Noah kept at a steady pace to keep up with the tiny. He almost wanted to lay on the ground and sleep there. Eventually they reached a cliff face, the tiny followed along the edge of the wall. Noah looked back, the forest wasn't very far away and he never knew this cliff face was here. The small eel zig zaged across the bottem of the cliff face, Noah kept up with the tiny, confused and tired the entire time. Soon the glowing hair disappeared under the ground, Noah freaked out and ran over to where the tiny disappeared and bent down ready to start digging at the ground. He reached his hands down too fast and his whole body fallowed into a hole. It didn't take him long for his back to hit the side of a slope and for him to see a bit of orange light illuminating a tunnel in front of him. The tiny eel swam up to him and pressed itself against his faceplate, Noah immediately grabbed the tiny by its waist. It pushed against his fingers and chirped at him angrily but he wasn't going to let it go, not if it was going to scare him like that again. He shuffled forward threw the tunnel, he had to hunch his back to get threw it.

Soon the tunnel opened up into a cave, it went down a bit but it was almost a perfect sphere. There were small metal bolts and bottle caps on the walls and other miscellaneous items strewn about. He finally let the tiny go and it shoved itself threw a long PVC pipe with an angel connector at the top. A bit of its tail was hanging out the bottom as it rested its head on its arms. There was a slight suction near his foot and a light feeling of flowing water over his back. Noah looked up to see the source of the light, there was a hole with an edge to the water above him. He stood up and looked around for a bit, the cave extended out even further, it was huge. He lifted his arms out of the water and pulled himself up out of the hole with more ease than he should have been able to. The top of the ceiling had a glowing orange moss and neer the hole he came out of was a small water fall that had some warm water flowing into the small underwater cave. The walls had a green moss that was fluffy to the touch and the ground was smoothed over and barely damp. A small splash and some angry chirping grabbed his attention. The tiny was trying to reach for his heel and chirping the entire time. Noah reached his hand into the water, slightly swishing his fingers next to the tiny. The tiny immediately coiled itself around his wrist and rested it's back on his palm.

Noah scooted over over to one of the walls, he saw the tiny breathing, its chest was moving quickly as it just stared up at him. Noah took his mask off and took in a deep breath, before pulling the small hood off his head. It almost smelled like mint in the cave, what was this stuff. The tiny on his hand started chirping instantly, Noah looked down as it made grabby hands at his face. Noah brought the tiny closer to his face and it immediately pressed its hands into his cheeks. It ran it's hands over his lips before trying to part them. Noah took the tiny away from his mouth once it put a hand on his teeth, it looked confused before it started chirping again. It looked sad that it wasn't able to look into Noah's mouth. He moved it back into the water, it tried climbing back up his arm before slipping. Noah immediately reached under the tiny to catch it. The tiny layed down for a few seconds before scrambling over and hugging Noah's thumb. Noah brought it higher into the air, the tinyes tail was dangling from between his pointer and middle finger. It looked down at the ground a little frightened before looking back up to Noah with the same waiting look.

Noah slowly dipped the eel part back into the water, the tiny quickly wrapped itself around his fingers in response. Noah held it back in the air, he was staring to get tired of its antics. He staired at the tiny in his hands with a disappointed look on his face, as he got a better look at the small person he realized it looked younger than he'd orginally thought, almost like a young teenager. Looking closer at its facial structure he could almost be certain it was male. As he looked over it, he saw it's small eyes were almost as blue as its hair and he realized it was crying. Why would it be crying, he hadn't hurt it had he? Noah looked it over, there were no bruises or scratches he could see so why was it crying. It started making the grabby hands back at Noah's face, he reluctantly brought it closer to his eyes. It started him in the eyes for a few seconds before it scooted closer to the edge of his hand. It tried reaching for his lips again, Noah thought about it. It really wanted to be eaten, the doctor said that it takes longer to digest food so maybe it would be safe. Noah's eyes were getting heavy, he needed to sleep. As he thought harder on it he realized it was either this or probably more angry chirping for the rest of the night. He saw the tears on the tiny practically disappear when he brought it closer to his mouth.

He thought he could hear a choked sob when he opened his mouth, the tiny practically jumped for it. He extended his tounge over his teath so it wouldn't get hurt. Tiny hands tried to grip the edges of his toung and pull it forward. Noah thought it almost tasted like berries, sure there was the salt of the ocean but he didn't expect to taste berries. The tiny tried to force itself down his throat, Noah almost gagged at the feeling and slightly dragged the tiny back over his tounge. The tiny started to tremble in his hands and on his tongue, the salty flavor was getting more prevalent. The tiny wrapped its arms around his tounge, quite chirping came from it. He could tell it was starting to cry again, this is what it really wanted wasn't it. He pressed the tiny up against the roof of his mouth and slightly tasted it, he hadn't had anything sweet in a month and this was probably going to be the best he would get for a while. The tiny dragged itself forward a bit more. Noah could feel the movement in his hands as the eel tail moved, he wasn't too excited about that part. The tiny moved closer to the back of this throat, Noah wanted to get that last bit of the sweet flavor before he gulped it down. The tiny was too far back in Noah's throat now, he instinctively swallowed when it pressed a hand into the back of his neck.

The berry taste was gone, it was just the salty sea water, luckily it didn't taste like fish. He lightly pressed a finger to his neck, the small wriggling bump slowly glided down his neck and past his collarbone. He gulped again and again before lifting the edge of the tail to his eye level. The torso entered his stomach and it almost immediately started rubbing at his stomach walls. It felt nicer than he thought it would, was his stomach always this sensitive? More of the eel part slipped into his stomach and the tip of the tail entered his mouth. He gently scooped it up with his tongue before closing his mouth. He swallowed one last time and tilted his head back to let gravity do the rest of his work. He rested his head back into the moss and his hands protectively over his gut. He could still fell the cold of the tail slowly moving along the rest of his throat. His stomach was comfortably cold and he gently rubbed his hands over it. He looked down and- jeez his stomach was huge. Noah didn't know his stomach could fit this much of anything. It started to move as rubbed a little harder, the small coils pressing every nerve in his stomach as it slid around. Noah made a small groan, it didn't feel bad but he just wasn't ready for this much of stimulation. He could feel the tinyes form gently press itself into his hand and rub back. He could hear a few gentle clicks as he rested his head back into the moss and closed his eyes. The amount off stimulation in his stomach along with the feeling of being over full quickly drifted him back to drowsiness. One final thought left his mind as he fell asleep 'mabye it wouldn't be so bad to stay more than a year'.

#safe vore #soft vore #protective vore #extreme cuddling #willing vore #willing prey #semi willing pred #mer vore #mer prey #tw blood #tw panic attack #tw alcohol

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