#But I'm a realist I can also see the flaws in an author I love Fujimoto likes the dissident and morally controversial aspect of his work

[sugar-grigri]

If Fumiko is monstrous then Fujimoto should start presenting her as such

Fumiko is written to remind us that Denji is a child, and I repeat, she is the symbol of a child's sexual trauma in all its horror and "paradoxes".

Touching Denji without his consent, catching an adolescent who hasn't yet discovered himself off guard, is the most obvious way of proving the link between the theme of sexual assault and Fumiko, but it doesn't stop there.

The fact that Denji accepts only proves this point: it shows just how much he's someone who needs boundaries and protection. He passively listens to what he's told without question simply because Fumiko has the upper hand.

She has one, but spends her time pretending she doesn't, in particular by disguising her age like a predator, calling him "senpai" when she's 22, and playing up her protective role as a "bodyguard" when she's only there to stop Denji thinking for himself

As can be seen in the dialogue between Miri and Denji, she positions herself as an interlocutor, standing in Denji's shadow, influencing his decisions and distracting the boy from the substance of Miri's message.

But she's a complete paradox, still trying to make Denji believe she's protecting him, she refers to Chainsaw Man as a "child", which rather than demonstrating a good intention shows that she's well aware of what Denji is and that she's abusing him head-on.

Who protects a child by attacking him?

Once again, I insist, these are two pages from the same chapter. Dare you tell me that Fumiko doesn't present any contradictions?

Above all, she makes it seem as if she only wants what's best for Denji, even when he hasn't responded to her pleas for help. Once again, there's a paradox: the predator blames her victim for not having seen her own vulnerability, whereas she’s only abusing those of her victim.

Fumiko is a metaphor for the very dangerousness of sexual assault, gentle on the surface but insidious, its violence only made clear and felt after the event, rising like a tide.

When Yoshida convinces Denji to give up his normal life, he leaves him in the hands of Fumiko, a public hunter, who symbolises the extent to which, despite the monster in front of them, danger also exists among men, and that the milieu of public hunters is a harmful world for a child.

I think the reason Fujimoto doesn't immediately place Fumiko in a position of condemnation is to instil a feeling of frustration and powerlessness at seeing Denji unprotected, to make it clear that "he's missing something", a parental figure.

But I think that for the writing to be complete, the author has to take a clear stance on the subject, in his own way of course, but explicitly

Seeing Fumiko next to Denji makes me anxious, it's such a common form of violence that it pulls me out of my reading.

Fumiko is a monster, so I pray that Fujimoto will have fun explicitly detailing her dark side and her horror.

If he doesn't, then she'll remain an unfinished and confusing chimera, the result of lazy writing and a fear of commitment.

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

Schnee's video "The Deeper Meaning of Loser Baby" is by far the BEST Hazbin Hotel analysis I've ever seen. Literally. Perfectly pointed, edited and EXTREMELY empathetic. Like. For real. It clearly shows how media literate and sympathetic the author is. He analysed Angel's behaviour, his trauma, how realistic it is, how well written Angel and his whole arc is, analysed why and how Husk was able to help Angel when Charlie wasn't... omg, it's so much better than any anti bullshit trying to explain why "Angel is a bad victim actually, hypersexual and unperfect? Nhaaa you're unvalid actually yeah sorry" to validate their own hate boner against Viv. Seriously, what a fucking perfect video. I recommend anyone of watching it, even haters, so they can see how blind and ignorant they truly are.

Thanks for sharing!

I did really like how non-judgmental Schnee's video was. I do occasionally watch videos made by Hazbin haters - because I want to give the other side a fair hearing, and expose myself to different views so I'm not just in an echo chamber - and one of the things I'm struck by is how many of them drift away from talking about the cartoon to pass judgement on the fans. "I don't understand how anyone can like these characters!" "Y'all have been gaslit into thinking this is good writing!" "Everyone has such bad takes, as evidenced by this single comment that only one person said which I'm now going to rant about!" That sort of thing.

Schnee's video was different. It didn't poke fun at the fans of the cartoon (probably because it was made by a fan). It instead kept its focus on the story - what Angel goes through, and how impactful that is, and how Angel's arc fits into the wider themes of Hazbin Hotel. And the whole thing was really well-scripted and well-edited.

Another thing I liked about Schnee's video was the fact that it wasn't laser-focused on Angel's character flaws, which it seems a lot of anti-Angel videos are. They focus too much on how he was harassing Husk in the earlier episodes, and don't acknowledge the fact that he changed and stopped doing that in the later episodes.

I even saw one video that was criticising the Huskerdust ship saying, "Be mad at me for saying this all you want, but I'm sorry, does Angel even really deserve Husk at this point?" When I heard that, my jaw dropped. What do you mean, Angel doesn't deserve Husk? Yes, he has a bad coping mechanism that hurts others, but does that really make him totally unworthy of love? Can he not be loved as he is and then helped to change?

And what does that say about Husk? That quote makes it sound like Husk is better than Angel and that Angel would drag him down, like Husk is some perfect precious uwu smol bean who needs to be protected from the big bad spider demon. My fellow human being, Husk is a former Overlord. He owned souls and gambled with them and didn't care until his own power was threatened. But I don't see anyone arguing that Husk doesn't deserve Angel because of that!

Why is Angel getting all this ire? Why is he the launcher of a thousand discourse posts and not, I don't know, Valentino, his abuser? That very same video also mentioned Staticmoth, and all it said about that ship was, "I just don't feel comfortable shipping a sex abuser with someone" - and that was it! Valentino has done so much worse than Angel, but he was quickly dismissed in that one comment, whereas Angel got three minutes in this video (plus multiple other videos by the same person) trashing him in an angry tone of voice with F-bombs aplenty! It's disproportionate!

(deep breath)

Wow, that was a doozy of a tangent!

That's the trouble with watching videos by Hazbin haters: you run the risk of hearing something that boils your blood. So it's really refreshing to find videos that aren't just criticising Angel endlessly, but treat his story with the respect such topics deserve.

I feel that not enough people recognise Angel's positive traits either. Such as his willingness to assist people even if they've hurt him in the past. Or his bravery in standing up for others. Angel's got a good heart deep down! It just takes a bit of work to help him show it.

[navxry]

Hi! Former reader from your writing blog, I just saw you had a main account here after you left. How did you develop your writing style?

Hiiiiii, as for that, I think that's. a bit of a lengthy answer so. uh. let me just put this on a 'read more' before you start wondering why its long hehe

I'm going to be realistic here and say my writing style isn't exactly something I can say that's 'developed'. After all, any signs of me actually writing for real (or, rather, for fun) started in my Undertale phase (2016 - 2018) and it was for an AU.

(Don't look it up, because it is bad. Gastertale I love you, but... 2016 - 2018 Navi didn't do you justice. I'm sorry.)

I think back then it was... Really rough around the edges. Overuse of caps, punctuations, things you'd see in a novice writer. Actually, I only wrote for it back then because I was so invested in the fic, and when the main author said they wanted help from a co-author, I jumped at the chance.

Back then... Writing was something I do for fun. Something to not take seriously. Something that I can simply drop because it's just words on a paper, or in this case, on a digital book.

But when I began to write for that book, people began to.. Love it. They were commenting, some yelling at my choices, others celebrating and giving me compliments for my writing. It made me feel warm, happy; it made me feel that, despite my writing style not being on par, people love it as is. Flawed as it may be, it had character, and I think that's what gets people to enjoy it so much.

It's genuinely something you can look back on and go, "this kid doesn't know how to write well, but they're enjoying it".

I think after that, I began to branch off and write for more books and fics. I actually started in Quotev (shocker, haha!), and one of the fics I starter were just co-authoring Undertale ones. "MINE" was one of them (a Chara x reader one-shot collection), and its funny looking back on it.

Then there was "This is my world", "Life in the Underground", "My World", "How...", "Puns and Laughs", (embarrassingly but funny on hindsight, don't laugh at 2018 Navi here) "Human! FNAF Boyfriend Scenarios" (2 million reads!! Let's go 2018 Navi!!), "Ocean Eyes", "It's Complicated", and finally, my recent works since 2021, "Deception of the Abyss" and "Poisonous Thorns".

I became a co-author and an author for majority of them (the exception being the boyfriend scenarios, I was an editor), but I remember loving to write. I remember fondly on how I'd look at what people are saying, how they're commenting, and what they have to think about each chapter. It wasn't much now, but back then... It was more than I can ask for.

Hell, it even pushed to greater heights because I took it to a new form: roleplaying. Even back in my Undertale phase, I was roleplaying with a few people, and I made friends that way. Sure, some weren't great (my ocs especially, they're hella broken), but it was fun. My fun. It was also how I met some of my long time friends too (hi, Fifi!)

But then... Life happens. Things change, and suddenly, I'm not the same as I used to be.

I remember checking on my old works and then going "huh... things changed. And my writing... doesn't feel the same."

I remember getting on Tumblr because of Food Fantasy (2019 I believe? Or was it 2020...), and being friends with a few people that, on hindsight, I shouldn't be associated with. I remember being involved in drama, in consuming other people's works, becoming the reader that would talk about them to the author and even down to reblogging some.

There were ups and downs, and yes, I still remember them. I remember how it made me enjoy so much of other people's content, and how it made them feel. I remember so fondly of seeing people so... Active.

That... Unfortunately changed when I left Tumblr.

I won't get into what made me leave the first time. It was just... A sudden change that I couldn't put to words. So much in my life happened, so much stress, it began to affect me and how I see myself. It began to affect how I see in writing, how I began to disassociate and pull away from it. Hell, it even made me dislike running ask blogs, because both of my passions couldn't bring me out of that stump.

For the first time, I felt.. Really dissatisfied. Like something I did just won't fix it.

So I left.

I took a break for a while, which helped me see things differently. It was still too much for me to handle back then, but it felt easier. And when I returned, I had done a few changes: ask blogs were put in either archives or hiatus/es, new ones began, old ones were discarded...

I even started running @oletus-manors-log back then because I was in a constant state of returning and leaving. I remember how I only started the blog because I thought, "hey, my writing changed and improve. I might as well do something worthwhile."

And... That's where I met a few of my friends. Yuu was one of them (hi, Yuu!), and it made me remember how it felt... Nice to have someone see them. Requests weren't a lot back there, but it was fine—it feels the same as it used to.

Though, during that time, things.. Changed.

I think my feelings with writing is the same as I felt back at my first rut. If anything, me leaving and returning made me slowly realize that there was one thing that changed.

User interactions... Were smaller than I remember.

I wasn't okay when I returned. I still feel that way, and even with that blog, that grew into something bigger.

In some days, I began to doubt myself, and my ability to even write. There were even moments that I felt that my ability isn't even on par with what I did in 2016 - 2018, where it was fueled by my own feelings, my passion, and what makes me me. It made me dislike myself because it feels like, little by little, I'm unlearning about myself.

I LITERALLY could not sit down and write in my drafts without thinking, "why do people bother to stick around anymore? what do they see in my works? what do they see that they enjoy, when I can't see it myself?"

I think those years were my best, and even if I was critical of my writing style, it wasn't bad. It was fun. It was something I enjoyed.

So… What happened? What made me dislike writing so much?

Truthfully... I don't know. I don't know what made me detest it.

But I think I have a few thoughts. An assumption or two, I guess. And I think its because I rely so heavily onto what others see in my works that it... Bled into what made me me. It bled into my life, my expectations, my own self-worth.

In my venture to get better, to return to the hobby I loved, I became my biggest critic, my worst nightmare, and the flame that snuffed my passion.

I know you used to read my works, but there were so much I put that many ignored. My old writing blog (sfw) for genshin was an example. I used to write for SFW (aka @dxy-drxxm), but it stopped because I noticed so little were seeing it.

I noticed that so little bothered to say something about how they liked my works. My style. It began to eat at me and make me think that what I did isn't enough. That my own drive isn't enough.

I tried it over and over with different characters. With different plotlines. With different AUs. Hell, in EBG hosted by a friend of mine, I had it based off of IdentityV, which I loved.

But... No one see it that way. No one bothered to tell me the things I wanted to hear.

So... I stopped writing.

I thought no one actually cared. I still do, unfortunately. It was how I also saw my recently archived writing blog, which was @yxstxrdrxxm-a. Don't get me wrong, I do not regret meeting my friends there. I don't regret meeting Brynn, Jessamine, Avalon, Harmony, Yuu, Fifi, Cal, Tae, and many more of my mutuals. I don't regret becoming a writer, because if I didn't, I'd never meet the wonderful people I know now.

But...

Engagement is... A slippery slope. One that can take you so deep to your darkest thoughts. Some that make you question if you're human. Some that make you wonder if you're a machine to others. Some that make you truly think, "do I deserve this fame? when no one tells me what I achieved?"

I still have those thoughts sometimes. I still think... I'm not. You know. Worthy of everything.

I think, if I put this in an MV, Beaver comes to mind. There's so much that makes it feel that I can relate to it. The shots, the lyrics... It made me feel that I was heard in that video.

It's stupid. I'm aware. But... It's the only thing that made me go "god, this is me."

I think, in that regard... I don't know how I feel with writing still. I don't know how I feel with my works. After leaving those blogs, after ditching them because I feel worthless, I'm at a standstill.

...

I'll be real with you, anon.

I don't know if I can rekindle my unbridled passion for writing anymore.

I don't know if people can still see the same passion that my younger self did. And I wish, for once, someone could.

The biggest irony is... I have experienced what's called an 'artist effect'. Don't know the term? Here's what it means:

Artist Effect Where an artist is only recognized once they are gone, usually by death.

... Do you know the saying, "An artist is only appreciated after he is dead"? If so, this is what it means.

When I left, I left tumblr. I left that space for a good while because I was at my lowest. I thought no one will recognize what I've done, and only my friends will. I coined that term because it feels right. It's something I experienced, simply because I was focusing on the wrong thing.

Fame is nothing to me now, though. I don't desire to be famous of my writing. Don't take what I say as though I'm chasing for attention from readers; that's not what I want you to take away from this.

I refuse to return to that thinking. After all, it's specifically that thought that ruined me.

Nowadays, I'm... At that standstill. At the fork in the road, so to say. I don't even know if I can return to loving myself, and my works. I've spilled my guts so much in them, it feels a part of me has been torn bit by bit. And if people won't appreciate them, then that is the truth of the matter.

Maybe I'm too much of a pessimist, but... Such is life. People only see writers as machines and content creators, but I saw each of my works as pieces of myself that I've spilled.

A starving artist fits me better, I guess. But maybe, someday... Things will change. And maybe I'll love it again, just like what 2016 - 2018 Navi did.

I don't think this answered your question, and for that, I apologize. I'm not... Used to being completely honest about myself. There's so many things I need to resolve, demons I have to fight, and I think this will never be over for me.

What is helping me little by little was my friends. They are the ones that keep my passion ignited, even for just a little longer. If I didn't meet the people that would tell me I'm more than what I do, that I shouldn't pursue the thing that'll ruin me, I wouldn't be here now.

So, I hope from this answer, you understand how I see things. Although my reasoning can be rather out there, I know some also feel the same as I do with theirs. And I hope that they feel validated, in some way.

Because chasing for something as fleeting as 'engagement' will ruin them, just like how it almost ruined me.

[traumatizedjaguar]

COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS Master-post: I want to make this explaining what knowledge God has given me over the years

not so loving and boring crap, skip:

Yeah I can see economic collapse happening. I don't want to jump the gun and be one of those "crazy people" that believe in conspiracy theories because I absolutely am not one of those people and I'm not a conspiracy theorist (nor have I ever been, they've just been fun to look at in the past). This is very realistic. But let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if an economic collapse were to happen in the US and all over. I'm open to the fact that it may never happen, but I asked God to show me and He showed me and I shouldn't live in denial... I genuinely see it coming; even before God told me anything I studied the system closely since I was at least in 6th grade. I've always been anti-authority and interested in dystopias coincidentally because of how much empathy I have for others; I always felt depressed about the world and saw the red flags in our system. Food industry poisons us, 99% of the food in the grocery store is poisoned in some way and the food pyramid IS A LIE; school is a prison that kills creativity and passion, sports is controlled and overrun by abusers, clothing industry, religion in general and catholicism enslaves people and is a lie controlled by the terrorists in power, politics and government or what the CIA has fucked up on in the past because of their lack of Love.

we're all making a choice and its our own destruction. I take full accountability for what I've been apart of but we're all flawed. God doesn't want perfection, He just wants us to cooperate and love one another. two rules: spread compassion and DO NO HARM. Is that behavior of yours or action of yours or your thoughts or intentions harmful? try to be kind instead. it aint that hard to be kind. simple. its simple. Just like Architects new album - "for those that wish to exist: abbey road" states exactly what conclusion I've come to, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a interview of the singer-song writer talking about a spiritual awakening like how Kesha did already.

Also, don't trust people like John Rich (tucker Carlson interview about his song Revelation) who is obviously hired by the government to lead you to fear and the idea that we're all heading to hell: hell doesn't exist stop thinking about it. "lord will turn away from all their cries" and about every lyric is to fuck with you. God loves you and you need to love yourself and live on the right path. Meditation is an essential to living. You need it like you need food and water. *also to add: prophets are fake, that man - forget his name too lazy rn - who prophecied trumps shooting is hired by the government no doubt; if hes preaching christianity or catholicism he is just apart of the gov*

The CIA has used psychic mediums, astral projection, and spirituality in various projects for the longest time. The government has known about the collective consciousness and who we really are for a LONG time now. Do your research, I could write whole ass essays on this, but you can figure it out yourself.

God spiritually awakened me. My personality was coincidentally set up from a young age to lead me on this path.

the govern ment is a cult. yes. religion is too. we're no better or worse than Russia, china, North Korea... all dystopias in their own way

COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS

Who are we and where do we come from? Is there purpose to our lives? Who is God?

God is the singular source of everything in creation including us. He is also called Love, Joy, Source and we can always go back into Him. God is consciousness, thought... and He created us in His image, we are consciousness and thoughts and intentions are creation and are more important than actions because of that reason; we all collectively decided to use our intentions to simulate the physical universe we live in.

The Big Bang of the physical reality in our 3D world is all imagination, intention, thought essentially.

Life is just a dream within a dream within a dream. When you die, it's like waking up from having a vivid dream last night. You become more lively, awake, real because you gain back what senses you left behind for awhile.

We live in the illusion of physicality, time, death, mortality, and duality.

We are demigods. Our true nature is the soul, a free-floating immortal consciousness that is the light made up of vibrations which we are all gods of our own making with our own individual personalities. We are immortal, can't feel pain as it's an illusion under our control, omnipotent, omnibenevolent, omniscient. That's what a "higher self" is when evidential psychic mediums refer to that. We are the light and pure eternal consciousness, we are light-beings. Dying is safe and death itself is safe.

Time is an illusion, it doesn't truly exist. You could go back to this lifetime as you now again if you wanted to and restart it (but no god does that as there is nothing to be gained especially if abuse occurred you'd rather not obviously). You can slow things down, speed things up, or just do something and have it happen like with the snap of a finger; with a single intention you could make something happen immediately.

Duality and death are illusions. Grief is a temporary thing as they never really died. The human side of us delved too far gone into resentment and envy, jealousy, anger, hatred, fear, disconnection, lack of empathies, despair. Holding onto anger doesn't bring peace; you come from oneness as Love is connection so you have to pick between revenge or being pro-recovery because you cannot have both, you pick between growth or the cycle of abuse because you cannot have both. This is basic science psychology, we learn this in therapy even. What God taught me is that hexing or acting on bad intentions or bad actions toward another (even if its "deserved" or at an abuser) you are depleting and killing Mother Earths vibrations which effect how She functions, it traumatizes more than your target and hurts you in return because you reap what you sow and everybody gets a life review. Studies show that protestors that focus on revenge instead of compassion for their group end up hurting their side much more than helping which shows you cannot be duel in this. Pick peace, joy, happiness and compassion and more rights for your vulnerable community OR you can pick destruction on both sides and less human rights.

It is a never-ending cycle of reawakening ourselves every lifetime and learning how to bring forth our godliness while in a human vessel, learning how to love in a low vibrational realm, and we're here because we're groomed to become gods. We bring back knowledge and experience from the physical. We want to love in a different way because we have physical body parts to do things with. In heaven souls hug by absorbing their consciousness into another and becoming one. You can also make "physical" things in your own way and stories, you can do essentially anything you want because you are a god (of many). Especially in certain dimensions or realms you can socialize with other souls who want what you want. Oneness and connection is what Love is.

You can go back to any lifetime, any "new" one, any reality, any dimension or God/Source anytime you want. It's like a sandbox, open world gameplay we're all in. Life is like a play, a movie, a video game... where you choose your planet, your character, sometimes attributes you want to be born with like making a sim or rolling the dice on it, you level up by vibrating to higher dimensions and each dimension you unlock new abilities and superpowers such as bending energy, using the earths energy and material in new ways, consistent euphoria and joy, no need for sleep but enough energy, developing space craft thats sleek and fast, traversing the universe through space and time, and growing and learning in your journey as a god!

5th dimension is where heaven begins. (4th being time). Suffering and death are transcended, you lose all of the flaws that came with being a 3rd dimensional human like I said you unlock new levels then new abilities; you can see better and don't have a need for glasses, you would have your 5 senses plus many more and your senses differently. You can co-create with other gods because thats what we're wired for: co-creators, wanting to love and to be loved, free-will, peace and joy, creativity, education and knowledge, and play!

You can use the earths energy and materials to build and create differently in the 5th dimensional earth, it's like unlocking whole new levels or unlocking achievements in a video game. Every dimension is "physical" in its own way, a 5th dimensional creature would look like a ghost to us and could walk through walls and see through something solid to see what's inside.

We limit ourselves as humble gods do and come down here for challenges and the journey back to Source. So as long as you stay aligned with your True Self (the god side of you) then you will be able to accomplish all these things in life. Love = virtues = who we are.

Humans only see a small percentage of the color spectrum because we're limiting our godlike abilities down here for fun but back Home we can see the full spectrum of color again. You can only see ahead of you and in your peripheral vision while in a physical human vessel but back Home you can see 360 degrees at once and for a thousand miles, clear vision. Because you're just free-floating immortal consciousness, nothing is restraining you anymore. Obviously your senses go from 5 to 50.

"I must've forgot I'm a Demi-god. I always feel so blue, but im a Demi god" - Architects.

We create and build our character through free will and various lifetimes in the physical reality and on many planets, but we don't have to go to the physical 3D world on earth if we don't want to we can always stay in heaven or go anywhere else. We can link up with other souls and keep them as family in heaven or incarnate with them in stories of your own making; you can make stories in some of the highest realms of heaven or on earth or anywhere with no tragedy or cruelty or duality and because you're so at One with everyone it isn't hard to find many souls who just want the same thing as you.

You can build a whole script in higher dimensions (if you wanted to but you don't have to and life in the 3D is NOT scripted at all) choose to put the veil over your eyes and forget it and play out the story with other souls who consent to joining in on your love story. Going to the 3rd dimension on earth is like joining the marines, you're here for a purpose and it's to "fight" (human terms of duality) for Love to win; our purpose is to serve the world. We are here to serve each other, God doesn't need anything from us, He is Source and perfect and perfection doesn't NEED anything, let alone worship. WE need each other down here; virtues are what it's all about. The essence of our soul is our moral compass...

Tap into it and you will begin to feel the energy literally flowing around you, your relationships and social interactions become easy, gliding and at one with each other and you feel more peace. You will be able to be on the right path with the right people and passions, etc.

You are still your own individual god on your own journey just like millions of other gods and you can speak to the source God who created us anytime you want. Somebody recommended Suzanne Giesemann to me for meditation and she's got some good ones and this one is a real game changer.

"there’s magic in our bones, a north star in our soul that remembers our way home. there’s magic in our bones." - Body by Sleeping At Last

because of the simulated physical world we *NOT separated* but distanced ourselves from God (Love) and from each other by going into these vessels in 3D, which caused suffering to break out. If everyone on earth had a NDE we all would find world peace.

"All my worries were a waste of time, made the world so blurry I was going blind." - Caleb Shomo

The universe is made up of music and is built perfectly such as the fibonacci sequence seen everywhere. Every dimension vibrates at its own frequency. Dimensions are all in front of you, stacked on top of each other, essentially in and around you at all times. I believe there are 12 dimensions about but I will check with God or my higher self to see what they say.

We are omnipotent. If you believe you are limited or whatever you choose to believe about yourself you will make it that way. Believe you can and you will as human, you can do anything as a human that the soul can do - just believe like a child believing in a fantasy and you will make it or create it. We can do anything, anytime if you just believe.

Omniscience. In the afterlife there is shared knowledge among all souls with God meaning we're omniscient. instant communication because there is no physical vessel nor a mouth piece anymore. So when you have a thought, it's instantly shared and another souls response is shared instantly back. intentions are instant knowledge too. there is no privacy because love is connection and thats what the collective consciousness is. interconnected, interlaced energy forever.

You get back what you put out... you reap what you sow... as above so below. It refers to the layered structure of the universe, that immaterial laws rule matter from above. There are laws of correspondence and interconnectedness, everything is always in correspondence. The realization between the macrocosm of the universe (above) and the microcosm of the individual (below). We are the universe. You are a god. And everything in the universe is made from merely just a thought, an intention to create, and everything you see is consciousness. We live in a simulation of sorts. Physicality is an illusion like I've stated in the first paragraphs. It's all imagination; we live in a dream within a dream. Separation is an illusion, we live in an interconnected energy grid or field that connects all things. Love is the only answer and the only creation.

WITCHCRAFT:Never hex anybody ever

When you are hexing someone you are affecting the entire energy grid that connects all things and everyone. It sends out shock waves of negative vibrations. It doesn't matter if you're hexing a child rapist or someone who just swore you off one day, you are negatively impacting yourself, the abuser, lowering the vibrations of the earth, and everyone in the energy grid is affected.

When we are murdering the earth, more storms erupt, and we are killing a part of our consciousness.

Lateral damage is not just with protestors but also for hexing or any revenge will cause lateral damage.

"Don't practice what you don't want to become."

Is there a hell?

Short answer:

No.

Longer answer is this:

We get life reviews with God back Home where we have to relive this lifetime through everyones else's eyes whom we interacted with here.

Every time you hurt someone intentionally, unintentionally or lacking self-awareness about it or made someone feel joy you will relive it from their POV, their emotions, their eyes, their consciousness. You literally become them. It's a self-punishment if you lived a life being a selfish mean person. If you get revenge on someone you will also have to relive the pain you caused them because revenge is always wrong as He told me. If you hurt someones feeling in a minor way you relive it as them and if hurt them in a significant way you relive it.

Nobody deserves punishment, let alone abuse.

Being able to see things from a higher self POV helps me be more empathetic and learn that I want what's best for my abusers and for myself.

You are a god and in control of your reality. The world is a strange and confusing place to live in and I can see why atheism is so appealing to people I mean I was an atheist for so many years growing up. Most of my teens I was one.

Videos I found to be cool and get you in the mood:

Timelapse of the entire universe

Zoom out from earth by nelsking26 has a cooler song

also mental health related things about thoughts vs event severity

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

EVERY WEEK I WILL POST VARIOUS REVIEWS I’VE WRITTEN SO FAR IN 2024. YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY GOODREADS FOR MORE UP-TO-DATE REVIEWS HERE.

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172. Funny Story by Emily Henry--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

I'm a big fan of Emily Henry, something about her books always hooks me in and, save for one book, I've grown to really enjoy and look forward to her stories (without reading the synopsis because I like going in blind).

The premise of this isn't overtly original BUT it was entertaining. I also loved the mirroring of the beginning and the end with the "let me tell you the funny story of how we met" line (I'm paraphrasing). I thought that was a fun touch that added levity to the ending AND really brought me into the story at the beginning.

I was a big fan of the tension between the two jilted lovers and how they grew their friendship before anything else even happened. They're both flawed characters who have had to overcome heartbreak and just happened to be each others' best support for their ordeals. I thought that they worked so well together, especially because their both (understandably) jaded by love. The subplot of their fake dating was a fun twist that added heat to the story and even though I don't know if I'd call this Henry's steamiest romance, I'd say that FUNNY STORY has the best sexual tension I've seen in Henry's books.

I liked the exploration of all of the relationships in the MC's life and how they helped her become who she is, or who she will be by the end of the book. I liked that she was flawed and made mistakes because it was realistic. I especially loved that she had this moment of realization that she needed to find out who she was and where she wanted to be when finally out of a relationship that didn't actually work for her. Also, LOVED that she was a librarian.

The love interest. Oh man, he is ADORABLE and honestly, I don't know how anyone could pick the stuffy fart of the MC's ex-fiancee over him. I wish we had a POV of his experiences with the MC because he himself has such a complicated past with relationships and family. I wish we could see into his mind during the whole breakup that happens at the beginning of the book. That's maybe one of the only things I wish we had more of in Henry's books--dual POVs.

This was cute, fun, at times heartbreaking, and a great read for the summer. Henry doesn't miss and I'm excited for her next book already. I don't know how she does it, but she's definitely an auto-read author for me.

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173. The Dragon's Bride by Katee Robert--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I finally picked up THE DRAGON'S BRIDE and I will admit that I was wary. I'd tried a Katee Robert book a few years ago and found it to be a boring experience.

This one, however, was a lot of fun and I loved how the relationship between the two characters developed. Since it's more of a novella, it was definitely on the faster-paced and shorter side. But to be honest, I would have probably been bored if this was any longer.

The spicy scenes were SPICY. I feel like this one had me bugging my eyes out the most of the books I've read in the last few years. But now I want to read the rest of the books in the series.

Is this a serious book? Not really, save for the fact that the MC deals with some heavy topics like abuse and PTSD. But the romance is lighthearted and as slowburn as it can get in such a short book. I loved the level of consent the dragon had for his bride and the turmoil they both felt as they started falling for each other.

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174. Over the Woodward Wall by A. Deborah Baker--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I really, really enjoyed this snippet of a story. I think it's perfectly fitting that the author is also the author of the WAYWARD CHILDREN series because the mood was the same. This was whimsical, lyrical, and engrossing. I wanted the kids to truly find answers and a way home.

I think the quirky characters really make this story--not just the MCs, but all of the ALICE IN WONDERLAND-esque characters they come across. This is a middle grade book, but I can definitely see this just being an adult fantasy novel for the adult who always wished they'd gone on a fantastical journey as a kid.

I also thought that the way the two MCs contrast each other was really fun. One child clearly needs to learn how to loosen up from the "adult" expectations his parents have placed on him, while the other needs a bit more attention and care to ease the energy that partial parental negligence has gifted her. They worked really, really well together and I loved seeing their journey to friendship.

I highly recommend this story, especially for those who are looking for something fun and quick to read in the garden.

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175. Peacocks of Instagram by Deepa Rajagopalan--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I received a copy via the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This did not affect my review in any way.

I'm not a big short story person, but when I heard the synopsis for this, I immediately knew I had to read it. I tried out a new way of approaching this short story collection--one short story per night because one of the things that turns me off short story collections is how overwhelmed they sometimes make me feel. This method worked perfectly and it even helped build up the anticipation for reading the next story.

Deepa Rajagopalan's collection is incredibly rounded. Not only did we get thought-provoking stories, but also surprising conclusions for several of the characters as they inadvertently affected other characters in other stories.

And made even better was Rajagopalan's writing and how immersive it was. It also flowed so beautifully, making the heavier topics feel so easily digestible. The pacing was quick and most of the stories felt like punches as a result.

While some stories were definitely stronger than others, they all came together wonderfully. I loved their commentary on the Indian diaspora and how immigration was handled. I loved the deeper examinations of culture, racism, bigotry, classism, family, capitalism, and karmic justice--there was a lot of revenge in this and it was awesome.

Anyway, if you're looking for a new short story collection to hook you, then I think you're going to love this one! Highly, highly recommend!

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176. Otherworldly by F.T. Lukens--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I really enjoyed OTHERWORLDLY, especially because my last attempt to read Lukens was a bit of a hot mess. Thankfully, this one makes me want to check out the last few books they've written.

This was a fun adventure with a lot of heart. The curiosity of the paranormal MC and the sweet way he falls for the second MC was adorable. I also thought his storyline was fun (even if it wasn't wholly unique).

I loved the side characters and how the second MC learned to find what made them happy. I found their storyline to be both sad and hopeful. They had incredible support from their cousin and cousin's girlfriend, even when their family tried to break that confidence with their requests.

Like another reviewer mentioned, this was definitely more of a cozy contemporary fantasy novel. Sure, there was the paranormal underworld and the creatures hunting the MCs down, but it didn't stray too much from the small town setting.

Overall, I'm glad I read this and I definitely want to get to the backlist titles. I love when an author surprises you!

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177. The Underground by K.A. Applegate--⭐️⭐️⭐️

THE UNDERGROUND was an interesting addition to this series because we get a new potential weapon added to the story, even though the kids are so morally conscious that the option might now make an appearance in future books.

One of the biggest things that I noticed, however, is how much the language was really a reflection of the time. It made me slightly uncomfortable, but I know I also am reading this in 2024.

The story itself was good and adventurous. It's always a bit more exciting when we get the story from this character's perspective!

Onto the next book!

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178. Mindy Kim and the Fairy-Tale Wedding by Lyla Lee & Dung Ho (Illustrator)--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Another adorable MINDY KIM story has passed and I loved seeing how much Mindy has grown as a little character. She's so sweet and supportive of her dad's happiness. As a person who was partially raised by a single parent, I was so happy when my mom found someone new. And I see this reflected in this story, since Mindy just wants her dad to be happy.

I think stories like this one are so important for young readers, especially because it may be relatable to them. This is why I love that young readers read--it helps them build that empathy.

Mindy teaches kids that if you work hard, you can reach your goals (and even if you don't, or if "reaching your goals" looks a little different, then that's okay!) She's got a great head on her shoulders!

I do wish more little ones read these books, because I find that they teach so much--such as culture, how different some families may look, life lessons, and how to have good communication with those you care for.

Will be picking up the next one in the series next month!

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179. Alex Wise vs. the End of the World by Terry J. Benton-Walker--⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

ALEX WISE has a character or two that I'd like to slap some sense into (*cough*the dad*cough*), but this didn't take away from how ridiculously fun this book was--even if it DID deal with the end of the world.

I'll admit that ALEX WISE started a bit on the slower side. I wasn't sure quite where it was going, especially with some of the things the MC and his sister get up to before the main storyline begins. I did appreciate, however, how we were given a backstory for the MC and why his relationship with his father plays so heavily into the way he is and how he carries himself in the story. I felt so awful for the MC. It honestly broke my heart.

The heart of the story was FUN. I loved seeing these characters work together to overcome a seemingly impossible to defeat villain. It played really well into the concept of empathy and how sometimes the most obvious solutions aren't always the right ones.

While the story felt a bit on the longer side for me, it was still an enjoyable adventure that I'll definitely be recommending to the younger readers who stop by the bookstore! I'm looking forward to the sequel!

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Have you read any of these books? What were your thoughts?

___

Happy reading!

[raayllum]

I know you love The dragon prince and that’s great. I binged the show after season three released. I listened to podcasts about the show . I listened to yours and felt really happy when I found people who also liked the show. Unfortunately I fell of during the hiatus between season three and four. I am patient person but three years was long. Also I watched the show for rallylum and through the moon just kind killed my love for them.Then I found your blog and was really happy. Then I saw how you felt about the owl house and it bothered me. As a neurodivergent person the show made me feel really seen. I know it’s stupid to be upset about an opinion. As a person who wants to be an English major how do find parallels between relationships and characters. You talk about certain ones and I don’t see them at all. Your probably more seasoned as a writer than I am so

Ps : sorry this is long and hope tdp ends well in your opinion

Few things:

1) I'm also neurodivergent (hi!) - specifically Autistic - and I have also largely wanted to be understood my whole life, much like Luz (according to S3). While a show making you feel seen can certainly be wonderful, meaningful, and sometimes even life changing, to me that's not enough to make it a Good (per my subjective tastes) Show. That's not to say TOH is a bad show - far from it - but it's one that didn't appeal to my particular tastes due to 1) too many characters and not enough screentime, 2) a lack of theme (which many kids shows don't have a ton of because they're, y'know, for kids), and 3) all of the characters have very black and white morality, and that's just less interesting to me.

Being upset about opinions is very natural, and it's not stupid, but it is also important to acknowledge that 1) you can't control how anyone else feels or interprets things and 2) no one else can control how you feel or interpret things.

2) I adored Through the Moon. Rayla's tendency to leave (and why) is always a hurdle I expected them to have to tackle at one point, and given that it's her main character flaw, I'm really excited and happy with the way it's been handled so far and how TTM kicked it off. The graphic novel also really resonated with me in Callum's place, as I too have loved many of my loved ones through incredibly difficult periods regarding their mental health, and the graphic novel felt very honest about the toll that can take on both parties in different ways, and how love/support can help, but ultimately isn't enough if the person isn't ready (or willing) to start trying to get better. It's not an easy pill to swallow, but it is a realistic and important one and I've enjoyed how the show has continued that storyline with Rayla (and Callum) into S4 and S5

3) Being an English major is not for everyone! I know many people who love to read and who are very good writers where an English degree would not suit them at all. It's a lot of reading (by my final year, there were some weeks where I was reading an entire 400 page book roughly every week, if not multiple at the same time). It is also a lot of writing (and my professors regularly chewed me out for my grammar). You also tend to kind of double being a history major as depending on what you're reading, you learn a lot of the religious/historical/cultural context in order to understand the language, references, and messaging intended by the author (and then whether or how much to disregard it, lmao). Being able to analyze — to see connections between characters and themes in particular, but other forms of symbolism and messaging — quickly is probably the main thing that saved my ass and let me stay on Honour Roll throughout my undergrad.

I have also been writing pretty seriously for a long time (I 'started' at age 10 but only really count age 12 onwards, cause that's when I first started writing 70k+ drafts every 1-2 years for original WIP stuff). A lot of what makes a good writer is being a good reader, taking your favourite stories (books or otherwise — movies, musicals, tv shows, etc can be gold mines) and figuring out what works in them and why, or why you like them (or don't like them), etc.

For example: The Owl House is a primarily character driven > plot driven story. In book form, it'd likely be Middle Grade to early YA. It's interested in character relationships among the main cast (any of the more villainous characters like Belos are never given the same amount of development or screentime) and some mild worldbuilding. It has some social commentary (mostly on the school systems through Luz and mental health through Eda) and an overall theme of "being different is good," breaking away from abusive systems/dynamics, and the importance of solidarity.

If I compare and contrast this to TDP, The Dragon Prince is far driven in equal parts by the plot (because it's wholly serialized) and by character. It is also very thematically driven — most notably how to break intergenerational cycles of trauma and violence, but also self-destructive tendencies, abuse, responsibility, power, grief, and concepts of justice and punishment. This is also reflected in the fact numerous villainous characters (Viren, Claudia, etc.) share close to equal screentime with the 'good guy' protagonists and heavily explores morality across a decently wide spectrum. It thereby has a more mature tone in its subject matter and would easily be YA in book form.

Which is to say: the best way to get better at analyzing is to break characters down to their basic plot structures (Character A does this, they want that, Character B does this, they want that, etc.) and see what pops up (for example, in Avatar The Last Airbender, Aang and Zuko both cannot go home, and duel Ozai when they're 13 years old, ultimately refusing to be violent against their opponent). You can also look at similar personality traits (curiosity, selflessness, carelessness, etc). Practice looking at the stories you love and figuring out what works and doesn't work for you personally — and then go beyond relatability to look more at subtext and symbols. Some of the best things I've ever read were books that had nothing relatable to my personal experiences in them (like The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini), and that was why I loved them because they got to broaden my horizons.

[mejomonster]

Okay so I've been reading Red White and Royal Blue the novel and I'm thrilled to report it IS a different experience.

I saw the movie first? Phenomenal. On its own merit, as it's own experience, hands down best movie I saw this year. And definitely one of my fave romances I've seen (along with But I'm a Cheerleader).

This book? I can see already the impression that the movie simplified, softened, and changed some things in some areas. I think the movie, based on the 100 pages I've read so far of the book, changed enough that the movie does read as different characters In The Spirit and Themes of the book. Movie Alex is like book Alex, but almost another universe of him (like Guardian Zhao Yunlan in chinese drama versus book). Henry so far reads as similar in novel to movie, but movie did not have the time to do his traits with as much nuance. Which like. I think many movie differences were made for making a concise movie length story, a slightly more on the nose story to make the main points hit audiences strong enough to get understood clearly, and to of course emphasize more of the points the movie script aimed to emphasize and focus on in that limited time.

I'm reading the book now. And delighted to say Alex's family is handled with much more nuance. Also the book is fascinating in my experience as the first fictional novel I've ever read with so much clear real life applicable casual political references. I've seen biographies and nonfiction books do this on occasion, but it's fascinating seeing a fiction novel do it. I think it's a brave and higher risk writing choice as it's both individual to author and even more so using the political as a reflection of characters, drawing concrete lines by which to judge them in the sort of terrifying "this stuff effects people's lives" way real public figures get judged. Fitting in seeing Alex and June as Public figures, but also risking as a writer your characters No Longer conforming to the "everyday man" character everyone can project onto. Bella in Twilight has a lot of Mormon related cultural experiences bleeding into how she's written, but the author didn't make her overly Mormon with a church she belonged to and overt commentary on that religious view of the world in relation to say Vampires and marriage and sex. (There are books that do tho, I've read realistic fiction like The Poisonwood Bible about missionaries which very much heavily directly discussed real religions and those beliefs effecting people's personalities and actions in the story). It's interesting to see a Romance novel go for the specific at the risk of making those characters less easy to "project" onto. I prefer this choice, the same way Fingersmith by Sarah Waters is one of my favorite romances and those two fucked up women sure aren't "everyday" average joes you can project onto. This writing choice makes the points made in Red White and Royal Blue a lot more pointed qnd with a lot more to back them up. It's interesting seeing. The movie definitely toned down things in this regard (while still including more overt politics than I've seen in many romances except say But I'm a Cheerleader with its brazen condemnation of conversion camps). I can see how the movie flattened Ellen to make her a more likable less flawed person, because it's easier to sell a loving mom President in a movie under limited time to give her no Significant Flaws. But the book has time to hammer her stubbornness has destroyed personal things, at times clashes strongly with her son who turned out so much like her (and is partly why June does not click with mom the way Alex does), how moms choices and personality were not necessarily good for June and Alex at times, how Alex clearly learned to be a workaholic qnd avoid his personal pain by being stubborn like his mom. She's someone he admires, and someone he emulates both good and bad, and someone he's infuriated that has those stubborn workaholic realistic traits he's copied. But a movie doesn't have time for the good and the bad, the realism of the damage all parents in some ways cause even if unintentional, the realism of what going through divorce means for each partner and their kids. The movie doesn't divorce them, because it's easier to sell a married mom as a positive (like the book lol comments on). I get it.

Anyway more on Alex's family. I deeply appreciate they're flawed and realistic in the book. In the movie, in its own interesting way I found it interesting to watch Alex (raised primarily with secure attachments and open loving secure support from both parents Together) with Henry who did NOT have the same emotional relationships foundation from family (only his Sister being a Safe Enough relationship to trust to emotionally rely on). Versus now the book, seeing they actually both can bond over these imperfect situations of their families. Which in its way, is realistic to many people who've found love. It gives them more to see understanding with each other in. And in Alex's case in the book in particular, his background details give us more about who he is qnd what drives him. The movie had to simplify those elements of him qnd Harry outside romance in order to tell a timely romance story. The book has more space for those individual character stories of trauma and pain and growth and connection.

[aster-ghost]

please, would you share your thoughts on the dispossessed?? (this is externalmemorycomic's main blog btw)

Oh geez sorry this is so late. Life stuff.

Anyway I would be delighted to talk about The Dispossessed.

For starters it's maybe my favorite book ever? And it's the book that got me to finally truly read science fiction. I think Ursula LeGuinn was an amazing author.

Now for the actual story. I am completely and utterly fascinated my Annares. As a bit of a commie myself I think it's really interesting to see a fully collectivist society. I also appreciate that it is a flawed society. It shows that greed and xenophobia still exists and the complacency that the people have fallen into is extremely realistic in my opinion. They don't want to rock the boat even though their ancestors were the ultimate boat rockers. It really makes me think about our own world.

And Shevek. I love Shevek. I want no other person to introduce me to this world. His own biases and flaws are relatable and interesting. Him calling Urras Hell was so fascinating. His speech during the protest make me want to fight too. He's a perfectly imperfect human who doesn't even exist.

There's also so many little details Ursula LeGuinn specifically has as an author.

She likes to focus on one or two characters and explore a world through them.

She can actually write children which is rare.

She includes at least a few words of a conlang that I want to learn.

She goes into great detail about the vocabulary of Annares like how there is only one word for father while it can mean any man who took care of the child.

Lastly she included the most tender reunion between Shevek and Takver which is extra interesting because they're middle aged and usually romance only gets to be for hot young people.

So yeah I'm kind of a fan.

[otsuki-mii]

#ふたりで恋をする理由 • Futari de Koi wo Suru Riyuu 🪻

Author: Chihiro Hiro Publisher: Shueisha (JP) Tags: Shoujo, Highschool, Love Triangle

~~~

"In her first year of high school, Urara Andou fell in love at first sight with the kind stranger who saved her on the train. Too flustered to ask for his name or contact information, she swears to take action the next time she falls in love. But it turns out he's a senpai at her school!? Reunited, Urara believes it must be fate. But before she can take action, his childhood friend Misono-kun tells her "I won't hand Aiji-kun over to you." What will she do?"

~~~

This is one of my favorite romances! In large part because of the boy in these covers: Jun.

This starts out as what seems to be an odd love triangle, then turns into a normal love triangle and when you think we're done going around, it introduces yet another love triangle. This might seem confusing ahah, there's 2 love triangles it's just that the first could be interpreted a different way in the beginning.

Despite all the drama and cliches, this story is really heartwarming and an overall feel-good series. It's far from perfect, it's flawed in some aspects but it still delivers an enjoyable and rich highschool romance full of fun moments and the fair share of sadness, drama and goofiness too.

Jun is undeniably my favorite character. This post is kind of a spoiler so I'm sorry to any who hasn't read yet 🥲 but you can kind of put 2+2 together as you read in the beginning. He's a very loving and sweet person and he treasures the female lead a lot, even before he's aware of it himself. He's one of those guys that'll leave you thinking where are guys like him in the real world, but he's also written very realistically, he's just really, really great. Plus he's suuuper cute and I love all his expressions. I love him!!

I hope this gets published in English one day... I'll keep asking for it.

Let me know if you've read this and who your favorite character is!

Check out my post on Instagram to see more pics!

[provincara]

The Long Run by James Acker

Two track and field athletes find an unexpected but powerful love in this unapologetically blunt and unforgettably real YA debut.

Sebastian Villeda is over it. Over his rep. Over his bros. Over being "Bash the Flash," fastest sprinter in South Jersey. His dad is gone, his mom is dead, and his stepfather is clueless. Bash has no idea what he wants out of life. Until he meets Sandro.

Sandro Miceli is too nice for his own good. The middle child in an always-growing, always-screaming Italian family, Sandro walks around on a broken foot to not bother his busy parents. All he wants is to get out and never look back.

When fate—in the form of a party that gets busted—brings these two very different boys together, neither of them could’ve predicted finding a love that they’d risk everything for…

God where to even start. I fucking loved this book—I finished it last night, and I'm spending the day depressed because I'm no longer listening to it (audiobook). I took so many notes while reading this, and there were only a few minor critiques. Otherwise I was doing my best to put into words why I love this story so much.

The tagline for this book describes it as "unapologetically blunt and unforgettably real," which I think is spot on. It wasn't a sometimes-sad romance novel, but rather a story about two flawed yet earnest boys who better themselves (and FEEL better about themselves) with the help of each other. Yes it's a romance, but I love the platonic elements of the relationship so much; they truly become each other's best friend, and you can see how important their relationship is to each of them.

We get a dual POV in this book, and it was so expertly deployed. There's quite a lot of introspection (which I always enjoy in a novel), so we get firsthand accounts of how each character is feeling, but we also get to see them through the eyes of each other; we get to know their insecurities, but also get to see their strengths and value. Both Bash and Sandro are pretty self-aware, and I don't know how realistic that is for teenage boys, but it doesn't matter because it's all so good. And just because they're self-aware doesn't mean they're perfect; we get to see them make mistakes and learn and grow. There were plenty of times between them that the conversation could have gone south, but instead they are able to trust each other and talk it out.

Of course, though, there is one moment that goes very wrong and takes a while to come back from, but it was realistic. I feel like the tendency for authors nowadays is to throw in third-act drama whether it's deserved or not, but that wasn't the case here; the events fit the narrative of the story (it's pretty clear from early on that this book will have the potential for something heart-wrenching). Also, we got plenty of recovery time after it—I always hate when the story ends right after the conflict has been resolved, but here we got to spend a good amount of time with them afterwords.

This book just made me feel so much! Not just sad, but also hopeful. While I love both boys in this, I was a bit partial to Sandro, and he was the one who often made me cry (both sad and happy tears). Even though he had a shitty upbringing, he was still so optimistic about his future being better and working hard to make that better future, and it was just so lovely to read about and I'm literally tearing up while thinking about it. The ending was perfect for them, realistic yet hopeful, kind of like the whole story itself. I was fully sobbing when I finished, because I was just so overcome with emotion.

Besides the main story, I think the side characters were all very well crafted and utilized. Lucy was especially such a lovely figure, and I wish we had gotten to spend a bit more time with her (just because I like her, not because she wasn't around enough for the purpose of the story). And the writing was also top tier. I know I've gone on about how emotional this book was, but it had a good amount of lighthearted moments. And good humor! It got me to chuckle out loud a few times, which is unusual for me—it helped that I listened to the audiobook, so I couldn't accidentally skim ahead and spoil the joke for myself.

Speaking of the audiobook, MAD KUDOS to the readers for this!!!! I think they were absolutely perfect, right away settling me into the story and perfectly delivering the more emotional moments.

This is one of those books that I think a lot of other books try to be: gritty, realistic, emotional, heart-wrenching, inspiring, etc. But this one was actually able to pull it off. And while it is grittier than some, I didn't find it to be too much. Like I said, there was a good balance of humor, so it was never a heavy read, even with it's heavier moments. Frankly, I'm a bit stunned that this isn't more popular, because it deserves more readers. I simply cannot wait to revisit this book in the future (no literally, I'm actually considering re-listening to it while I still have it on loan from Libby).

Bonus spoilers—specific moments that made me cry:

Sandro thinking "I think I was supposed to love Bash" after the whole Incident with his family (sad)

Their first date, getting ready and getting their picture taken and being able to be public with their affection (happy)

When Bash gives Sandro his prayer bracelet and then Sandro gives Bash his chain, so they have something to remember each other by when they go off to college (sad and happy and everything in between)

[alterchaos]

Welcome to Alter Chaos!

click "keep reading" for the table of contents as well as an intro, about info, and links to both my side blog and discord

Have you ever listened to a good song and imagined yourself in an epic fight scene? That is exactly how Alter Chaos was created! Music has been a huge form of escapism for me in my struggles as a teen and even now as a young adult. For over ten years, I slowly built up a Sonic au in my head with an attempt at connecting all the games, shows, comics, etc. I imagined myself as part of the action, using my daydreaming to cope and even work through many of the problems I faced in my daily life. For instance, if I got into a fight, I would pick a character who was similar and imagine how I'd work things out with them before addressing real life again. It was my safe space and one I had absolutely NO intention of sharing.

Well...we all know how that turned out, right?

In 2023, I finally caved and mentioned my little self-insert au to a group I was in at the time. With some encouragement, I drew a few concepts...then some more...then it sort of just...came together. When I became serious about it, I considered for a while if I should've replaced my oc with another character, not wanting to turn my story into a journey of self-aggrandizement. Ultimately though, I decided that I wanted to keep the self-insert element and use it as a way to self-reflect and allow others to insert themselves as well. It helped motivate me to be realistic about both my strengths and my flaws as a person, and I believe it's helped me grow as a result.

Despite the many hurdles this series has faced over the course of its lifetime from struggles in my confidence as a writer to finding my voice and identity, I'm proud of what it's become today. When I think about it, the ups and downs it's faced since the very first chapter are so reminiscent of what life is, and that's the exact kind of energy I wanted to capture. It's what makes life beautiful...meaningful...and I hope that this series can give out that same feeling to all of you.

Thank you all so much for reading Alter Chaos and giving me the chance to share stories and messages so near and dear to my heart.

Please enjoy the show!

A BIT OF CAUTION:

This series is rated PG-13. While individual chapters will have warnings, know that this series as a whole will involve some heavy content from blood and body horror to depictions of bullying and depression. The purpose of this kind of content is not to be as dark or angsty as possible, rather to show real struggles and ways they can be managed or overcome. That and...I'm a bit of a horror fan (especially in special effects and makeup).

Reader discretion is always advised.

Also for anyone worried, I don't do smut. I enjoy a good ship or romance but we're keeping it cute here. No unnecessary melodrama either. I'm a fan of healthy, loving partnerships, however that presents itself. And no, my oc is NOT shipped with Sonic...or any Mobians for that matter...that'd be weird (raises eyebrow at 06).

A BIT ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

I'll make this short and sweet. Hi everyone! I'm Eve (the one and only haha). I'm only kidding. Writing these stories has actually been a very humbling experience for me. There's always a new technique to learn and incredible artists to be inspired by. Seriously, the Sonic Community has some TALENTED individuals! ♡

Let's see...I guess I should give some sort of list or blurb to help you all get to know me outside of my character. While she's accurate in as many ways as possible, she's more reflective of me as a kid and, believe me, I've changed a LOT since I was a kid...I think. Here's some basic rapid-fire facts to help:

Star Sign: Taurus (yup, I'm a stubborn one)

Favorite Color: a light, rosy pink

Personal Style: casual but cute

Favorite Food: mashed potatoes and mac n' cheese (so cozy...)

Favorite Movie: How to Train Your Dragon 2

Favorite Videogame: Sonic Unleashed/Kingdom Hearts 2

Favorite Sonic Character: Silver and Jason's Sonic

Sonic Character I'm Most Like: Tails. I'm a complete nerd who can ramble for hours and lose myself in a project.

Favorite Sonic Moment: the "Live Life" speech

What Got Me into Art: I wanted to be a Disney animator as a kid

Biggest Strengths: humor/perseverance/compassion (p.s. I am the self-proclaimed "pun queen". Challenge me if you dare.)

Biggest Struggles: self-doubt/difficulty trusting others/social anxiety

Weird Fact: I have a near-photographic memory. Between that and my love of chocolate, I'm basically just Chip if he, like, ate the camera or something.

You can follow my regular Tumblr here for content outside of Alter Chaos -> THE CHAO GARDEN

NEW

Be sure to check out the ALTER CHAOS DISCORD SERVER here

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

💎 BEGINNINGS 💎 💎🌌 THE SPIRIT'S REQUIEM SAGA 🌌💎 💎🏙 ALTER EARTH SAGA 🌆💎

💎🌎 ALTER EARTH ADVENTURES 🌎💎 💎🚀 METAREX SAGA 🌸💎 💎🎸 A HERO'S PURPOSE SAGA 🎻💎 💎🖤 SHADOW SAGA 💛💎

💎🌎 MOBIUS ADVENTURES ACT 1 🌎💎 💎🔥 SEVEN RINGS SAGA 🌟💎 💠🌕 THE MOONBEAST SAGA 🌙💎

STAY TUNED FOR MORE

FIRST CHAPTER: THE BIRTH OF A LEGEND

LATEST CHAPTER: TEARS

[kyouka-supremacy]

One of the reasons I love sskk is that you get the best of both worlds. One day I will analyse the way they are both mirrored versions of each other and the same and the next day I will clown them to hell and back because both are dumbasses (affectionate)

(Sorry if I'm sending you too many asks. I don't have anyone in my life that has read BSD, so this gives me a chance to talk about it [and my sons]. Love your blog ^-^)

THAT IS SO TRUE. They are a full 360° ship where you just can't go wrong. They'll be unpacking their deepest fears and bringing out the darkest sides of their minds and hitting and hitting and hitting because they hate themselves so much that they can't help but wanting the person that is most similar to them dead and then right after they'd be like “this riding experience is terrible” and “want to get some tea or something” and “you don't shop normally in normal places!” and whatever delightful thing their inexperienced attempts at plotting in chapter 85 was. They're profound and silly at the same time and it's so amusing and it basically forces you to want to pinch and pull at them untill you've seen all the forms their interactions can take.

Random babbling incoming but like. Their apparent stupidity and simplicity is exactly as important as the narrative symbolism and depth of their connection, because that's what makes them human, and relatable. We CAN'T all be supergenius, and sskk are so so ///so/// flawed, and it's so beautiful in its own way!!! Because humans are flawed, and it makes them feel all the more realistic and easy to sympathize with. And - crazy enough, listen to me carefully here - this duality of depth and simplicity is itself yet another side to the way the two mirror each other. Where Atsushi is always dwelling on his past and overthinking his actions, Akutagawa holds a way more simple, straightforward mindset: he's the “what a foolish question” and he's the “I don't need words, only actions”. I think they really work perfectly together, because Akutagawa often comes as someone who can help ground Atsushi from the ghosts that surround him, make him understand that the past is gone and what matters is here and now (see chapter 35 “The words of your past are fundamentally unrelated to who you are now”). Relating such concept, it's now been more than a month but I haven't been able to stop thinking about this reply from a fic author- quoting it directly because I wouldn't be able to explain it any better. (Please, make sure to read their works if you have the chance, they're incredible)

one of my favorite parts of bsd is how it addresses that 1. your emotional realities are valid and should be lived out and 2. sometimes mental blocks are solved not by indulging in them but by a reality check. sometimes when a person says “it feels like i’m drowning in my emotions”, “learn to swim” is a correct response. it’s silly and funny, but it’s also true. akutagawa engages with a lot of atsushi’s emotional realities by directly telling him: you have to move on. not in a “get over it” dismissive way, but in a “that’s just what you have to do” way. it’s a reminder that things are not hopeless, and they could never be, and indulging such a notion is mighty silly.

That's exactly it. I've particularly been reflecting over the “learn to swim” figure because it's. so silly and at the same time so serious and important in the way it perfectly‚ flawlessly exemplifies this aspect of the sskk relationship and in what Atsushi and Akutagawa are so different. The way they can actually, realistically help each other overcome their insecurity and fears, the way they unintentionally yet perfectly push each other to be better people every day makes me insane.

[drkstrudd]

A tip on writing characters

One of the main challenges in writing a character comes in the form of making said writing realistic enough to get invested in their actions, yet entertaining enough to not be a bore. When I write my characters, whether they're my own or I'm writing a fandom piece, I want to avoid that very real feeling all of us who have consumed any sort of narrative media have felt one time or another, which is, "Why are you renting a cabin in the middle of the woods where someone died? Are you stupid???" And the infamous, "Ugh, nobody would say that." 

And while I can't say my writing is the most realistic or the most watertight, what I can say is that striving for more realistic characters is something I keep doing, even unconsciously.

So, how am I approaching that goal?

Through writing a character that is bad first, then add goodness on top. All my characters are bad people first, then they're good out of those same traits that make them bad. Sure, this person rented a cabin in the woods after somebody died. Why? Maybe they're too into true crime. Maybe they were negligent, and didn't even see the news. Maybe they have a huge ego, and believe nothing will happen to them. It's in these choices where an author can make a character their meanest, their stupidest, their most cowardly, their angriest, where the most character can be derived.

Does a character cry when angry? Do they lash out? 

Making a hero doesn't mean one should scrub their flaws clean, nor should the narrative try to scrub said flaws off. If they show up, in my opinion, one should pursue these hints that perhaps, this character is wanting to take the narrative somewhere else. 

But Luna, what if my protagonist is an unreliable narrator? You may ask. Then, the mental gymnastics your character goes through to justify their actions should be clear and visible, and not dampened by the inherent belief that a protagonist should be good for a story to be enjoyable. 

Remember, that as an author you're also naturally bad, with good on top. You also have flaws inherent to being a human being, so I suggest looking at your fuck-ups as inspiration instead of shame. You are not above your artwork, nor are you above sinning or making stupid choices. You are not above being a monster, nor are your characters. Live, look around, read up on sociology and anthropology, but first and foremost, feel the cringe, feel the pain and the shame. Know you've lived, and that experience and passion shall take you to amazing worlds inside your imagination. You create from inside of you, as reality and fiction happens through you and not outside of you. 

Happy writing! :)

If you like what I do and what I write, consider buying me a coffee! I'd appreciate it. 

[chiconisroc]

Have you seen this review of your fic? (Sending in another ask cause I don't want people to think I'm trying to stir up trouble)

I appreciate that everyone has their own unique perspective. It's interesting to see my fanfiction being rated, as fanart doesn't typically receive ratings, which seems a bit unusual to me. Personally, I find it difficult to imagine giving an artist a rating for their artwork. I can’t even do so on a fanfiction either. Usually, I don’t care for a story, or I just love it, hahaha, but I never proceed with giving them a number. I'm not sure if fanart is typically rated by others; perhaps I'm out of the loop with such things?

Since the story hasn't reached its halfway point yet, there are many aspects that haven't been explored or will be addressed later. For instance, the puzzle… hehehe. The review was made before they read past chapter 20, so they didn’t get to see how Camila reached for the puzzle that was stored under her bed to bring along with them, so I didn’t forget about it ;3. So, it's intriguing to have a rating based on what has been presented thus far.

I would also like to emphasize the physical and mental challenges that Philip is going through in the story, from the beginning until now. He has faced near-death experiences with the Collector and has had Gus unearth memories that he had locked away for centuries. As a result, he hasn't had much time to gather himself and is struggling with his emotions/traumas that he shoves to the side a lot.

In my writing, I strive to create characters that feel realistic rather than conforming to the resilience typically seen in cartoons. Philip, being a 400-year-old man, carries a lot of baggage that is finally catching up to him mentally.

It's worth mentioning as a reminder that this is a fanfiction and not a fully edited and polished novel. Expecting perfection and have everything answered right away would be unrealistic, especially since I am constantly updating with new chapters more frequently than others :o. So, if there are some flaws in my story, which most likely there are, well, it is to be expected since I’m not an actual published author, and thus I’m practicing and learning to get better at writing so one day I can become an actual author one day : ). **This reminds me of the more recent question that if I were ever to rewrite the story. If i were to rewrite it, then yeah, for sure peeps would have a more published work which would be way better than it is right now, hahaha

That being said, I do appreciate the positive aspects the reviewer pointed out, which I find encouraging. To the person who wrote the review, if you would like, I can provide further explanation and defend the decisions made for the story through direct messaging. Rest assured, everything I write has a purpose behind it : ). And if you are enjoying the story now, then great! It's nice to have you along the ride with us : ). It's just always fun enjoying things together, hahaha

I won’t say more about the reviewer’s opinion since I’m currently working on the next chapter for the other story x.x, so… I got to write and write : ), hahaha

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Every week I will post various reviews I've written so far in 2024. You can check out my Goodreads for more up-to-date reviews HERE. You can friend me on Goodreads here.

Have you read any of these? What were your thoughts?

___

321. The Sunbearer Trials by Aidan Thomas--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-Read September 2024!

My review below still stands. Will keep that as is! But I WILL say that I'm glad I re-read this before reading the sequel because it reminded me of why I loved it so much! (Original Review): If I were to simplify this, I would say that THE SUNBEARER TRIALS is like an LGBTQ+ HUNGER GAMES. If I weren't going to simplify it, I would say that this book is:

Incredible. This book is an adventure filled romp of a good ass time. There's tension, mystery, danger, and friendship so strong that it'll put hair on your chest. I'm kidding, but seriously, the MC's relationship with his best friend was so freaking pure. Even though they were put in a situation where one of them could die, they didn't even THINK about screwing the other over. It was such a pure thing that it was honestly one of my favourite things in this book.

Another thing was the tension between the MC and his ex-friend/obvious love interest. I love how Thomas handled their relationship and the slow build up of the trust that was broken years before. Watching them rebuild that connection was a joy, even if it was full of moments where I wanted to strangle one or the other for being so oblivious. I also appreciated the realistic idea of how one relationship is treated alongside this budding rebuild of an old and broken relationship.

Full of some pretty cool moments, a badass MC who is strong af in character, and a really neat world full of Spanish words that had my Latina heart giggling with joy, THE SUNBEARER TRIALS is a great adventure for those who already loved CEMETERY BOYS. Jump in and enjoy! I immediately need the sequel.....

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322. Celestial Monsters by Aidan Thomas--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

If there is one piece of advice I can ever give to future readers of this book, it's this: Re-read the first book before this one if it's been a while. CELESTIAL MONSTERS takes place immediately after the events of the final chapter in the first book. Reading them together felt like a cinematic moment because this series is that magical and adventurous and fun.

CELESTIAL MONSTERS was truly a fantastic way to end this duology. There was the adventure of the sort-of road trip and also the monsters faced by the teens. But we also got to see the hypocrisy of this society. The gods were shown as flawed and we got to see how the different people of this world truly viewed them.

This one also had dual POVs, which was definitely needed because of the circumstances, and I loved it because it helped me get a clearer picture of what was happening, especially because the two POVs were in different places. I loved that touch. I think that the dual POVs were also a great way of getting to know different characters from unique perspectives.

The slow burn in book one is continued in here, but with it we have the opportunity to see a different side to one of the characters--we get to see how alone he can seem without his other half, which was something we kind of see in book one but it's easier to see the space they take up when that absence is made more obvious. But I did like this romance because it was one born from the gradual regrowth of trust and friendship.

Overall, CELESTIAL MONSTERS reminded me of how much I really love Thomas's writing. Everything I've read by him has been a hit with me. He even got me crying in this one, like sobbing. I can't recommend this series enough--especially if you love adventure, Queer stories, and a group of teenagers with the fate of the world in their anxious hands.

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323. Under All the Lights by Maya Ameyaw

I received a copy from the author and publisher

UNDER ALL THE LIGHTS is the anticipated sequel-ish to WHEN IT ALL SYNCS UP, except this time we're getting the story from a different character's perspective. I love companion novels because I get to learn more about the other characters through a wholly new perspective and Ameyaw doesn't disappoint in doing this.

I had an interesting experience with this one because I felt the anxiety the MC felt when he first meets the singer that will forever change his world. What follows is a wild ride and self-discoveries that can be very scary, especially when the MC is also faced with a homophobic father and a world that is following his every move.

Ameyaw is great at writing mental health into her stories and I think this will be something that younger readers will definitely relate to. I also loved her take on music, fame, and the complexities of juggling all of that while also figuring yourself out (the question of being bisexual and also the sometimes debilitating anxiety that haunts the MC in his every day life. )

If you like YA books that have a musical heart and a very realistic teenager trying to come to terms with his new reality, then you might enjoy this one!

___

324. The Cinnamon Bun Bookstore by Laurie Gilmore--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Better than book one. And spicier.

^^ That was my main thought after I finished THE CINNAMON BUN BOOKSTORE and I still am thinking about it a week or two later. Gilmore just had more tension between the characters and I couldn't help but hope for these two to finally break and cross that line that had been set back in book one.

But the spiciness isn't the most important bit of this book--the relationship dynamic and growth was WAY BETTER. These two didn't have an insta-love type of situation, but I think this comes from being the obvious next couple by way of introduction in the first book. This also helped because we already knew they liked each other, but neither of them really knew if the other liked them. I liked this because while one of my big complaints of book one that it was a little too insta-love, this one made the reader (and characters) work for that relationship. Also, while sure they could use therapy (we all could, tbh), I didn't have that immediately side-eyed glance of "Wow, bud, therapy, yeah?"

I LOVED the need to be adventurous before turning thirty. It honestly brought back that feeling I had when I was in my twenties and I still didn't know what I wanted for my life. There're outside pressures that make you feel like you should be doing more with your life when you're actually actively already working towards making that life you want. But I loved the mystery and adventure before that pivotal birthday because it can be such a relatable experience. Turning thirty feels like a big step and that one goal-line most of us have that will mark whether we were successful so far in life, and if we have met the expected goals set by society. In this way, the FMC was heavily relatable. She was still a little bit of self-deprecating main character (oh, I'm a boring reader!), but she WAS very relatable.

The MMC was sweet in the most interesting ways. He was personable but also had a lot of his own hang-ups and insecurities. He was also younger than the FMC, which props to Gilmore, usually books with this age dynamic is fetishized and this one was just... a fact? Plus, the age gap wasn't THAT bad. LOL. But I liked that he also had his own journey for growth, like the FMC. I also liked him more than the guy in book one and not just because his character was just sexier and a wholly better package, but I also liked him because he worked for the love he wanted and he didn't profess that he falls too quickly with any girl he comes across.

As before, I did love the side characters and the antics they got into. I love the small town vibes and how everyone is in everyone else's business. This was definitely one of those books where things happen but they also don't? I don't know how else to explain it. This is literally just a cozy read for the Autumn season and if you skipped book one to read this, I won't tell anyone.

I'm actually excited for the next book. I'm hoping this is one of those series where the later books continue to get better.

___

325. Edge of Collapse by Kyla Stone--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

EDGE OF COLLAPSE is one of those books that immediately grabs you from the very beginning--not just because of the concepts, but because of how the characters are written and how they fill the pages.

I love a good apocalyptic novel because there's something oddly satisfying about a story where the characters are escaping a threat and are actively outsmarting whoever or whatever is trying to get them. The addition of survival in there is another bonus that makes books like this one immediately interesting to me. It's kind of like thrillers and how the concept of them is always appealing to me, but unlike thrillers, these apocalyptic books usually deliver (for me).

One of the best things about this book is definitely the way the author wrote the characters. The FMC, especially, was memorable and well written. I appreciated that her trauma didn't magically disappear when the end of the world starts--she's a human with real-life consequences to the abuse she lived through for years. I'm sure she will be processing these complex emotions throughout the whole series.

The MMC was interesting because he was flirting with the morally grey line. No human is simply good, so seeing characters like him in books--especially books like this one--gives the book a more rounded feel. The characters, whether it was the FMC or the MC, or the side characters that we get to meet, all gave this book so much life. They were all done so well and some were given so much care that we connect with them even if they weren't around for long.

Plus, there is an adorable addition in the form of a dog! He better make it through the whole series.

The villain was creepy and needs to fall into a vat of very hot oil. I'm curious to see his character and how he is throughout the rest of the book series.

I'd recommend this book if you like apocalyptic stories that deal with the death of technology, a road trip of sorts, and strangers who are forced to create a quasi-found family with a dog.

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326. Chaos Rising by Kyla Stone--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I was lucky that the library audiobook I had borrowed for the first book in this series had this novella attached to it. I think it was a great addition and a wonderful way to fully empathize with the MMC and really understand why he was the way he was in book one. It was heartbreaking, but also had so much emotion. I actually liked this more than the first book in the series.

Stone also brings up the very real trauma of surviving the army and how that can bleed into your everyday life, even if you're starting a new family.

I got to see what broke the MMC's heart and what sacrifices he made before the EMP. I got to know him better as a character and what his life was like before he joined the FMC of book one and I really appreciate it. I think the first book would have benefitted from having this story included in it after we're introduced to the character.

Being in the heart of that devastation added a wholly new layer of reality to this series and how devastating it would be if it really happened. Plus, I find it fascinating because of what people end up doing in order to survive--which can range from devastating, to morally questionable.

I'm curious about the next books in the series and after this one, I'm even more excited.

___

327. A Soul to Keep by Opal Reyne--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A SOUL TO KEEP had been on my radar for over a year, ever since I came across it thanks to those often-times questionable TikTok recommendation videos. I wasn't feeling it the first time I tried to read it, but remained curious. Now having read the book via audiobook, I'm both glad I finally gave in and tried again and that it was through audiobook.

Y'all, this book is LONG. And I don't fully mean physically. The writing was interesting and the concept was truly very Beauty & the Beast but with more gore and demons, but the pacing was brutal. I took a whole star away because of it. Don't get me wrong--I ended up really enjoying this, but phew.

Despite the creepy cover, this was surprisingly tender and spicy. The connection between the two MCs was a slow building one, but worth the wait, especially since the payoff was so satisfying (but this doesn't negate that the book still felt too long). I liked that they had that communication that so many romance books seem to lack. I actually really liked these two together because they helped each other out in some pretty important ways.

And let's be honest, it's always heartwarming when these FMCs can look past the monstrous exteriors and find that prince shining within their beloveds. Although this is a monster romance, I think this was a great lesson in not judging people based on their physicalities.

While the pacing was questionable, this was definitely an interesting and strangely unique read! I will have to check out the second book!

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328. The Tanglewood Wedding Shop by Lilac Mills--⭐️⭐️

LOL the overall rating of this book is a trip.

If you like quickly-paced romances, look no further. THE TANGLEWOOD WEDDING SHOP was so quick, in fact, that I'm still scratching my head over how these two characters got together. This was an instant romance that started with a scene where the FMC was being belittled by her boss.

I think the saving grace of this book was the adorable kid who fought against his mom about having a pet, even though her responses were pretty reasonable (I know he was just a kid, but he was of an age where he could understand that if they had a pet, they would be kicked out of their homes.) Another positive of the book was the older woman who helped her out and was a sort of fairy godmother.

The MMC was...kind of stalkerish LOL. This was a closed door romance, which I don't mind because I've read some really good books that are like this, but I think that choice was on par with the couple, especially since they were so boring. All I know is that I rolled my eyes a few times and side-eyed the FMC for being so judgmental and doing the same thing to the MMC that she was so worried others would do to her, all because she (falsely) assumed he had money.

Honestly, this book was a bit of a blur and I don't want to think more about it after writing this review. That rating is scary because I have no idea what earned this such a high rating.

___

Happy reading!

[somewhereinthepines]

hi hi! been curious about .. will you ever write a non-murder hector?

i suppose, i might do it at some point? but then, if i’m being completely honest, i kinda dig the canonical hector / du’met’s attire the most. *twirls fingers together* so in a way, it’s not easy for me to separate his murderous intent from him completely. in the back of my mind, i will always make a mental note about how it's smth, that he's capable of.  

besides, i generally love deeply nuanced characters. their mental struggles & misery is a good food for my brain. and their flaws are usually very precious to me. i tend to play into it vs making the characters overcome it. i usually don’t make my favs better, than they really are. in fact, i often make them give into their worst traits/impulses, bc it’s the most fun for me.

i’m also not the kind of author, who writes good-natured ‘fix it’ stuff tbh. many things (media), that i like on this acc are tied up to a narrative, that is written to be both disturbing & tragic. so instead of giving the characters a ‘happy ending’, i just try to give them smth nice in the middle of all the mess. or just make their situation even more shitty, haha. depending on the idea, that lies in the center of my story, anyways. but in most cases, the final goal isn’t to make the characters get better in some ‘fully healing’ way or smth, but to consider a variation, where they can get what they want without being ‘saved’. naturally, it can differ in the level or in how far the narrative can go with it, but in the end, i kinda love ‘fixing’ smth very messed up & sad in canon by changing the tone, rather than overwriting everything.

and when it comes to hector, i’m very enamored by the possibility of him still having charlie’s love, even when it’s all gone too far & he can no longer turn back. i mean, if charlie can accept hector munday like that, at his very worst, then what else can hector realistically ask for? this is the maximum level of devotion, that someone can show to a person. sticking with them, even when everything goes awry & wrong. charlie isn’t there to act as hector’s savior. he’s smart enough to know, that he can’t truly change him at that point. but maybe, he can make it easier & offer him a distraction. a hand, that doesn’t chastity or punish, but that keeps one grounded. 

i guess, what i’m saying is that it’s easy to imagine charlie being in love with hector munday, who’s just well, a sad, lonely dude with a traumatic past. but it’s more thrilling for me to imagine charlie, who would still love hector, even when he poses as granthem du’met. their canonical dynamic is predator/prey, after all. and i rarely see it being executed in tasteful ways in the media, so starting from the demo of the game, i was just like ooooh, that’s so pretty & intriguing. their first meeting made my heart go doki-doki lol. so like maybe, this is also why i’m kinda mentally unwilling to fully let go of this imagery? it was more, than i could have hoped for. and then, i’m historically weak in my knees for captor/captive stuff, when it’s done ‘right’. and now, i have one of such kind and it’s supermassive too! *girly giggle* for me, it’s like a present on bd tbh. i'm so happy to unwrap it.

but honestly, it’s a mere personal pref. a whim. and nothing stops me from eventually giving hector a story, where everything goes more smoothly and somewhat ‘normally’ for him. well, to a degree. so at some point, maybe i will write smth like that. but atm, all ideas that i have for du’lie are tied to du’met being a murder. the themes & visuals that it implies are very appealing for me, when it comes to the horror genre, and i’m a simple fella. i just do what feels ‘natural’ to me. 

sorry for a long answer, i guess, i just wanted to kind of explain my current view on this topic. everybody depicts things differently, and tbh, this fandom offers a fair share of different outlooks on du’met & charlie. and thankfully, there are a few authors/creators, who provide fics with set-ups, where hector is just a man with issues. so it’s not like this au doesn’t get covered. 

as for me, i’m a weirdo who tends to play in their own sandbox. so at times, if the wind blows, i might write smth unexpected, but well…usually, there is still a murder or some disturbing stuff looming in the background lol. i have very little understanding of 'naked' gentleness or pure fluff, or like…well, just nice things being nice without smth surrounding it, like a slowly closing fist. so usually, i just sit on side, watching how other folks do it. so this isn't like i don't like those set-ups. i'm just isn't the person, who can easily conjure smth like that, haha.