#But I wish it was me just once. I wish I was the first choice

[pkmn-lillie]

The slumbering Thing lies below Gotham, deep under the twisting caves and labyrinthine tunnels. It was borne from a curse, echoing backwards to the beginning of time. It was borne from love, the love of a people for their city, so powerful as to breathe life into It.

Janet Drake was infertile. No medical intervention could change that. But she wished, and prayed, and deep under her home, the sleeping Thing takes pity.

"I shall grant you a child, body of flesh and blood, soul and mind of mine. He will be a wonderful dream, waking and sleeping at once."

Janet knows that her miracle baby is strange, inhuman, but trying to grasp a specific memory of those nine months leaves her weary and aching. (Truly mortal flesh is not meant to hold a thing such as It, even a sliver, and it is a testament to her fortitude that she came out sane on the other side.)

Tim never sleeps. He naps, frequently and in the strangest places, but he never reaches deep sleep. He knows that he is the dream of something greater, the dozing Thing that exists under Its city. He fears that sleeping so deeply will rouse It from the dream permanently, and he will be forgotten as dreams tend to be.

(Tim has slept that deeply, before, due to being forced unconscious by head trauma or through chemical means. The Thing has yet to truly wake, letting Itself revel in its precious dream once more, but he always fears each slumber could be his last.)

(Tim is running out of ways to avoid the sleep study that Bruce seems intent on him getting, because the risk of a willful sleep is too great to ignore.)

An earthquake shakes Gotham to its core, revealing long-buried caverns and derelict catacombs. By pure chance, a chamber deep under the city becomes accessible from the Batcave. (Tim wants so desperately to trust his family with the truth, even just a whisper.)

Nightwing braves the new passage with cautious glee, the joy of discovery deep in his bones. Signal follows behind, pretending to lament his use as a walking flashlight, just as excited as his eldest brother. The Thing that slumbers deep below feels them coming, contains itself to a perceptible form so as not to break one of its treasured Birds.

"Nightwing. Report."

"Uh, there's something big down here. Really big. Pretty sure it's sleeping."

Tim shivers, sitting at his desk in his bedroom. The conversation passes through Its mind like sand, and his mortal brain can only catch so much.

"Elaborate."

"I... Signal, what do you see?"

"It's some Lovecraft bullshit down here, Batman. It's big, and it's definitely sleeping, but there's really no good way to define it otherwise. There is no word to describe the color I'm seeing right now, and I'm pretty sure that's not what Wing is seeing."

"Your eyes just slip right past it, trying to focus on it long enough to gauge its size gives me a migraine."

Tim's fingers still on his keyboard. For the first time in his life, the sleeping Thing feels dread. It— he— doesn't want to wake up, please let It sleep please please please—

"Come back now. I will contact Justice League Dark."

"... Yeah. Copy that. C'mon, Sig."

<br>

alright prose/drabble over i need to get the rest of my ideas out and then take a nap

when Batman holds a meeting to discuss it, Tim is the only one who suggests just leaving it be. he knows its sus but he's desperately hoping they'll listen.

JLD sets up a bunch of wards in the tunnel connecting it to the cave. Tim starts napping more and more, never actually looking rested, his hands shake, his body aches, his focus is shot. Bruce worries that the entity is hurting his son.

Tim holds steady, though, until one day Batman tempts fate and goes to poke the bear (with a JLD member supervising, of course.) Tim, working in the cave, collapses. He curls into fetal position and pleads, begs, sobs, for them to stop, "let me dream, please, i don't want to wake up, please"

dealer's choice of whether Bruce keeps going (interpreting it as pulling a parasite out of his son) or listens to Tim and stops.

On one hand, the delicious angst of hurting his son by trying to help him, possibly killing the son that he knows. One of his other sons demands that he stop, something is wrong, but Bruce is too stubborn to let this beast sleep below his city unchecked, trying to contain it in its chamber. Tim realising that he can never trust Bruce with the truth, if he survives this.

On the other hand, fluff and emotional angst! The bats learn why Tim is just Like That, maybe they set up something so Tim doesn't have to worry about the entity waking up every time he gets knocked out, the proximity to his true 'body' makes Tim's human form a little more spooky and strange, the world is your oyster!

Short DPXDC Prompts #749

Tim Drake isn’t human, he knows that and is comfortable in his skin. This strange ghost boy very obviously isn’t comfortable in his ghost form around humans. He will help change that.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Hi, just curious. What's your 10 or 20 fave BL kisses from bl series/dramas/web series you've watched or are watching, if you have any?

Hey Anon,

I don't know if you remember this ask, it has been sitting in my inbox for a while now. Sorry for the late reply!

And of course I have favorite kisses. I love a good kiss. In my definition of a good kiss, it doesn't need to be the perfect angle or the perfect "lip-touching", I don't know, people rate such scenes differently. For me it is more about the emotions I could feel during that kiss, the build-up or if there is a special detail that really catches my breath. I guess you'll understand, what I mean when you see my choices.

This is not a ranking! It is in alphabetical order, not just because I don't want to rank them, but because I am lazy.

Bad Buddy

The iconic rooftop kiss. The whole build-up was perfect. The tears? The first short kiss followed by this gorgeous kiss filled with all the emotions one person can feel? What is not to like about this kiss!?

Be My Favorite

I was very protective of these two and especially Krist. People were saying, he can't kiss other man because he is homophobic and what is this then? Yes, I remember Sotus. The kisses were.. not good, but I gave Be My Favorite a chance and this kiss was so soft and so full of love and tenderness. I really enjoyed this whole scene a lot! And Kris can kiss.

Boys Be Brave!

This kiss came as a big surprise for me. It is Jinwoo trying to hide from Kisub and the letter finding him what leads to this quiet and beautiful first kiss. I loved everything about it!

Ghost Host, Ghost House

All of there kisses were so good! But I loved the teasing and the chasing in this scene especially. Those two have incredible good chemistry and I wish we could see more of them.

History 3: Make Our Days Count

Oh the desperation for each other was so real in this one. Both wanted each other so bad! But what I loved the most about this whole scene was the way how Sun Bo Xiang reassured Lu Zhi Gang that he desired all of him. So good!

I Feel You Linger In The Air

The most painful and saddest kiss in bl-history! It is such a wonderful scene. Everything about it made me cry and smile at the same time. Gorgeous scene!

Jack and Joker

They finally confessed and kissed for the first time. And what a kiss this was! It left the most of us speechless and a little bit breathless. The way Jack stopped the kiss in the middle to calm Joke down a little bit and they started the kiss again so fucking tender and argh! I love it so much!!!

Love Class 2

Love Class 2 has some really good kisses, but this one was something else! It is one of the softest kisses ever. I don't know how many times I have rewatched this whole scene. Just look at them. You can feel the softness of this kiss! And there were sounds during that scene... they were something else.

Love For Love's Sake

I really didn't expect that kiss at the end of this series. I hoped for a tight hug, but hello? Those two and the script kept delivering until the very end. This was pure perfection.

Love Mechanics

Yeah, well... perhaps I am just a sucker for YinWar kissing... I don't know. But every time I see this kiss I want to live in this scene forever and I would be perfectly fine. I am just sitting here, wanting to write about this kiss and I stared at it for an unhealthy period of time and forgot everything else. That is really bad. I love that kiss so much!

My Stand-In

They had some good kisses. This was not one of them, but this specific moment, when Joe gave in to the kiss, I was blown away. He really didn't want to like this kiss, but his heart still wanted it. The emotions!

My Tooth Your Love

Every once in a while there are these cute and small kisses, so ordinary and overlooked. I think these are very important to portrait a good and real relationship. Because kisses don't need to be these big moments in slow-motion and with different angles. Yes, those are nice, but I really adore those "small" ones that show the love between the characters.

Perfect Propose

The reason I picked this scene is because of the build-up. Hirokuni asked Kai not to call him Hiro, but Kai just ignored him and breathed Hiro and followed with this passionate kiss and I was just in awe.

Sing My Crush

I was absolutely not expecting this kiss! I thought we got this dead-fish-kiss and that would be it. I would have love the series nevertheless, but this scene? Damn, Korea! Such a good kiss!

The Heart Killers

I don't think those two are the best kissers in the industry. I think they have some good chemistry without a doubt. But this kiss. This moment here. It was everything for me. I can feel Style's hand on Fadel's head. I can feel it. And I love it! I am not normal about this scene! Everything about these few seconds brings me so much joy. The look on Fadel's face, the hand and everything that happend before and followed afterwards.

The Day I Loved You

This is still one of my favorite rooftop-kisses. For me it is the way they grab each other to pull the other one close. The way they want to crawl into each other, to feel the other person everywhere. Such a perfect first kiss! Such a perfect scene.

To My Star 2

I love these small kisses. I name them "A thousand little kisses". Those kisses make me smile and so happy! There is nothing more to say about it. I love them. To My Star is just an example for many other shows out there with these little kisses.

Unknown

I loved this whole scene. But this segment of the kiss, this little dance of them, is so good. I can't tell you how many times I just watched this specific scene. How easy Yuan maneuvered Qian around to close the door. How they kept kissing. I... I... nope. There are no words in my head anymore.

Well, these are a few of my favorite kisses. There are more, but I guess this list is long enough. I hope you like my little selection :) I wish you a wonderful day!

[marimayscarlett]

I seem to be haunted a bit by bad luck on here - prepared an answer for an ask yesterday, but instead of posting it, Tumblr swallowed the ask and it's nowhere to be found. Since I always type my answers in a Word document, I still have it and answer it in a proper post. The ask was signed with "RZK obsessor", so if that's you, here's your answer to your ask 🔎 which was something along the lines of:

Anon: Can you confirm the existence of RZK?

Hi 👋

Now ☝ Getting to the bottom of this kind of fundamental question does require a bit of a planned approach and care. So, at the start of the research process, one should ask which approach and research path to take when tackling this question: the philosophical route, the one of scientific research, or perhaps one's own wealth of experience? I’d say, let’s just go with all three.

Philosophical thoughts on the existence of our beloved Richard

From a philosophical standpoint, one must first ask - are we dealing with Richard as a tangible, real entity, or is this a collection of idealized versions of fundamental concepts? Wishful and idealistic projections designed to show just how diverse a single individual can be? Included in this are the epitome of confident presence on stage:

the audaciously good looks in every kind of stage outfit, be it leather, dramatic coats, feathers or questionable sleeves (wet or not):

and the efortless serving of rock star attitude, no matter how tight the clothing:

as well as exuding the most cozy vibes in rather eyebrow-raise-inducing attire:

Richard embodies so many concepts in one person that it’s hard to believe such traits can coexist in a single individual - perhaps Richard is Schrödinger's guitarist? Simultaneously existing and not existing, until you see him live and promptly lose all sense of composure...

2. Scientific research and evaluation of existing data on the topic of the existence of Richard

Like any good scientist, one must disclose the sources used and where one has gained knowledge and insights in order to report on their research in a credible manner.

To get to the bottom of the question of Richard’s existence, I have spent nearly the last 10 years meticulously studying every music video and their corresponding making ofs to the point where I can recite every line by heart (even the ones that make me want to sink into the ground out of secondhand embarrassment - "so ein Gesäuge", I’m looking at you). I went to the cinema three times to analyze Richard's presence on the big screen, absorbed recordings of live performances to examine and cross-reference his alluring movements on stage, and created a seven-page long table in Word to organize his interviews by date and topic, tracking his statements and quotes - I mean, quotes like the following have to be proof that this man exist, who else could express things like that so calmly, right?:

Every fur frog tastes different. Pure question of taste. There is no judgment in the text. We’re not saying it stinks.

I believe the music itself must be the king, but I want to be the queen.

The result of this research so far: Things are looking pretty good that Richard actually exists! But I understand what you mean - sometimes it’s hard to believe that this person truly walks, no, struts among us on this earth.

That’s why I had no choice this year but to take my research to the active side of things. Which brings us to:

3. The fan experience as a way to proof his existence once and for all - with my own two eyes

Even though we have countless recordings at concerts of him, from the 90's:

to the 2000s:

all the way into the 2010's:

to today:

it’s still hard to truly grasp that he exists in flesh and blood. Even I sometimes catch myself looking at pictures of him and thinking, “Wow… he actually exists! He’s real!”, fascinated anew every single time.

This year, as part of my research, I was fortunate enough to practice my research in the Feuerzone three times, and I must say: the moment Richard stepped onto the stage, I was often left speechless. He has an incredibly majestic presence, very focused and fully immersed in his role as the serious rock star - with moments of warmth (towards his band mates) and small glimpses into his thoughts (the annoyed look he gave in Dresden when he forgot his pyro arm for DRSG was so expressive; he rolled his eyes so hard, he surely could see into his brain). I was utterly captivated and thoroughly enjoyed watching him play and use iconic gestures (like during Du hast 👆☝✋👉), and to witness his presence and mannerism live on stage really was a highlight for me. Here's some of my research footage (grainy and shaky, and please be aware of me screaming, but all in the name of science):

After this intense period of dedicated research, I can confidently say: You don't confirm Richard's existence - you witness and experience it 😌

[runninriot]

Santa's Secret

written for @steddieholidaydrabbles day 23

prompt: hot chocolate | rated G | wc: 998 | tags: Eddie & Wayne Munson, single dad Steve Harrington, tbc

note: this is a continuation of yesterday's drabble you can read here if you like

Eddie can’t wait to get out of the suit that’s been suffocating him for the past three hours. He’s still sweaty and his hair is a mess after wearing the wig and fake beard combo for so long but he feels better once he’s changed back into his regular clothes.

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Eddie stops for a moment. He looked so different dressed as Santa, could’ve been fooled by his own reflection wearing that costume. There’s no way Steve actually realised it’s him. Maybe what Eddie thought he saw in Steve’s eyes wasn’t recognition, but confusion.

They haven’t seen each other in years and apart from that, it’s not like they’ve ever been… close. Sure, Steve probably knew of him – they’ve both been somewhat popular in high school, although for very different reasons. But still. It was silly of Eddie to think the smile he gave him was one of familiarity. More realistically, it was just a silent thanks for how he handled the little girl’s nervousness, brought a smile to her face by playing into her childlike wonder.

And that’s okay.

In the end, Eddie did have a great time pretending to be Santa for a while. He’ll never tell Wayne, though, unless he wants to hear his old man tell him ‘I told you so��.

With his shift done, Eddie strolls around the still brimming main hall of the community centre, looking at a stand with wooden figurines where a beautifully carved dragon caught his eyes.

He’s so fascinated by it, that he doesn’t notice the person coming up to him, until a hand taps his shoulder lightly.

When he spins around, he finds Steve standing next to him.

   “So, what brings you back to this shithole?“ he asks through a laugh, casual, like it’s normal for the former King and King of Freaks to have a conversation.

   “I, uh,“ Eddie stammers, staring at Steve a little star struck and maybe a little more in love because there’s that smile again and it’s blinding like the fucking sun and this time, he doesn’t have the Santa suit to blame for the fucking heat spreading in his face.

    God, grow up Munson. You’re an adult. Behave like one.

   “I’m visiting my uncle.“

   “How is Wayne? I was a bit worried when I realised that-“ Steve leans closer to whisper in his ear and Eddie’s heart stops for a moment. “-Santa sent someone else to cover for him.“

There are a million thoughts running through Eddie’s mind – since when are Steve and Wayne on first name basis? So Steve did recognise him? And why’s it so fucking hot in here?

   “You were great, by the way. I’d have lost it at some of the parents. They can be worse than their spoiled little brats sometimes.“

Eddie chuckles nervously, shrugs his shoulders and waves a hand at Steve who moves back slowly but stays close, so close Eddie catches a hint of his cologne, mingling with the Christmassy smell of oranges, and cinnamon, and apple tea, and it makes him dizzy but not in a bad way.

“Robbie wouldn’t shut up about Santa,“ Steve winks at him, “said he’s the coolest, even cooler than the tooth fairy. And let me tell you, that’s a real compliment.“

They both laugh and it feels so light and freeing; Steve makes it seem so easy to fall into conversation with him.

   “She’s a sweet kid and she loves you a lot, I can tell.“

    Loves you so much she’s wasting her Christmas wish on your happiness, Eddie thinks fondly, biting his tongue not to accidentally spill their little secret.

   “Yeah, well. She doesn’t have much choice. She’s stuck with me, since her mother decided to-“

   “Dad!“ a voice calls from somewhere behind them and when they turn, they see Robbie running up at them.

   “Speaking of the Devil,“ Steve sighs amused before opening his arms to catch her.

   “Who’s your friend?“

   “This is Eddie. We’ve been to school together. He’s grandpa Wayne’s nephew.“

    Grandpa W-hat?

Eddie must be having a stroke. Or maybe something’s wrong with his hearing because… WHAT?

Steve must realise something when he notices Eddie’s confusion, because he suddenly blushes a deep shade of red and smiles awkwardly at him.

   “S-sorry, I thought you knew that, uh-“ Steve takes a deep breath before he continues, “Your uncle has been helping me out a lot when I moved back to Hawkins a few months ago. You know, uh, setting up the house and watching Robbie when I had to go to interviews and couldn’t find a babysitter. He, uh, he’s been a real help. Robbie’s obsessed with him. Aren’t you, baby?“

   “He’s awesome! And he makes the best hot chocolate in the world! With little marshmallows and sprinkles on top!“

Eddie feels like he’s been hit by a truck, feels betrayed by the man he’s been looking up to his whole life.

   Wayne Munson, you son of a potato farmer, are living a secret life where Steve’s daughter calls you grandpa?

    Oh, Eddie’s going to have a field day confronting him with that.

   “Right?! The best hot chocolate ever! I always have mine with whipped cream on top,“ Eddie answers equally enthusiastic, doesn’t even have to pretend despite his inner turmoil because that little girl’s smile is infectious.

While listening to Robbie’s happy babbling, Eddie watches Steve from the corner of his eyes. He still looks a bit like a kid caught stealing cookies, but slowly relaxes, and that’s good, but-

Wayne definitely has some explaining to do. His uncle has always been a fucking saint, can’t not offer his help when he feels like someone’s in need of it. But it being Steve of all people, really messes with Eddie in a weird way he can’t really explain.

He needs to know more.

   “How about we all go to Wayne’s together? I’m sure he’ll be delighted to see you. What do you say?“

[silentheiss]

It takes a long time for Shen Qingqiu to fall asleep, and once he does, he wishes he didn’t.

He knows he’s dreaming right away, just as he knows that Luo Binghe’s not there to soften his dream. He’s likely still awake, working through reports he’s been sent earlier today. Usually, Shen Qingqiu would stay with him, but tonight he couldn’t- he just couldn’t. Sleep seemed like a safer choice. He was wrong.

In his dream, he sits in front of the mirror, staring at himself with confusion. At least that’s what he feels. His reflection, in turn, looks at him with such a cold disgust, that Shen Qingqiu knows instantly who he’s dreaming of.

“Congratulations,” Shen Jiu says, thin lips twitching into a haughty smile. “You managed to hurt him even worse than I did.”

“Fuck you.” Shen Qingqiu says. He knows in what detection this is going. He doesn’t like it one bit.

“I called him a dog, but you treat him like one.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh?” Shen Jiu leans closer. “Well, I suppose you’re right. At least dogs are under their owners protection. But he’s the one who protects you, now. You just let him follow you, serve you, tend to you, and what do you give him in return?”

“I- show him. In my own way.”

“Ah. Tell him he’s doing good, every once in a while? Pat his head for a second or two, before stepping away? Begrudgingly agree to physical intimacy after he’s begged enough? The last one is my favorite. Inventively humiliating. Tell me, are you ashamed of him?”

Shen Qingqiu swallows, feeling his eyes grow hot. He doesn’t know what to say, and yet he opens his mouth to argue.

“I care about him.”

Shen Jiu laughs.

“How romantic. How generous. Every devoted husband dreams of hearing he’s merely cared for by their spouse.”

“It’s not just that. I- Of course, I-”

“Can’t even say it to yourself, can you?”

“Binghe knows.” Shen Qingqiu whispers.

“Does he? Or does he think you married him because you’re afraid of what he might’ve done if you didn’t? Or, better yet, does he think you did it out of pity? And yet he’s grateful that you took him in, happy to get any scrap of your attention.”

“That’s not true.” Shen Qingqiu insists.

“Even I couldn’t destroy his self esteem as thoroughly. Great job, Shen Yuan. You rendered a mighty protagonist into a pathetic mutt who knows he’s unloved, but doesn’t have enough self respect to leave.”

“Binghe’s not like that. He’s not. He’s-”

“It’s not his fault.” Shen Jiu shrugs. “You raised him. You made him love you enough that it doesn’t matter if he’s loved in return. Exemplary husband, you are. Truly.”

Shen Qingqiu breaks the mirror.

He wakes up with a start.

“Shizun?” Luo Binghe calls from the other room. Shen Qingqiu hears a shuffle of papers and then soft steps, nearing their bedroom. “Shizun?”

He wants to answer, but he can’t- he can’t breathe.

Luo Binghe comes rushing to the bed, immediately gathering Shen Qingqiu into his arms, holding him close, whispering soft words into his hair.

Shen Qingqiu breaks.

“Binghe.” He gasps through sobs. “Binghe, I’m sorry.”

“Husband has nothing to apologize for.” Luo Binghe says, voice sure and steady.

“No.” Shen Qingqiu cries. “No, no, no. Binghe, this husband failed you.”

“Shizun, don’t say such nonsense.”

Shen Qingqiu raises his head. He has to look his husband in the eye when he says that.

“Binghe, I love you.” He fights to keep his voice steady. “This one loves you so, so much. So much, Binghe. You have to know. I’m sorry I never said. I will do better, I- you have to know.”

Luo Binghe frowns at him, wipes his teary cheeks with shaky hand.

“This one knows.” He says, sounding confused and maybe a little hurt. “Why would Shizun think otherwise?”

“Because I never told you? I rarely kiss you first, I never- I failed as a husband. Binghe’s been perfect, taking care of me, talking about his love for this one for the world to hear, and I failed him. I let him think that he’s not loved, but he is. He is.”

“Shizun.” Luo Binghe leans closer, looking at Shen Qingqiu as if he’s searching for some kind of an answer and if only Shen Qingqiu knew what the question was, he’d give it right away. He’d give him anything. “Husband. I know that you love me. This one knows.”

Shen Qingqiu shudders.

“Binghe does?”

“Of course.”

“But,” Shen Qingqiu whispers. “I never told you?”

“Shizun didn’t have to. This one made it his life mission to study every Shizun’s expression, every movement, every change in the tone of his beautiful voice. He knows his husband, maybe even better than his husband knows himself.”

“Still, I should have-”

“No.” Luo Binghe says. “Husband is doing enough. This one feels very loved, every minute of every day.”

“Binghe.” Shen Qingqiu whines.

“This Binghe is going to have a talk with disciples who planted such silly thoughts in my Shizun’s head.”

“Don’t. They were right, anyway. I should be telling Binghe I love him all the time.”

“You do, husband.” Luo Binghe smiles, soft and sweet. “When you read for me, when you brush my hair extra long, when you get me little presents for no reason at all, when you rant about your silly books. This one is very lucky. He is loved. He knows this.”

Shen Qingqiu crashes against his husband’s chest, feeling almost lightheaded with relief.

“Thank you.” He murmurs. “Thank you, for knowing me so well.”

“It’s this one’s honor to know Shizun.”

Shen Qingqiu holds onto Luo Binghe tighter and doesn’t let go for the rest of the night.

It’s a calm evening. The weather is pleasant, if maybe a touch too warm, but Shen Qingqiu knows that as soon as the sun comes down fully it’ll get better. Luo Binghe and he are walking down the familiar path, taking their customary stroll before they start getting ready to bed. It’s quiet like that on Qing Jing Peak, their routine for when they stay on the mountain. Shen Qingqiu loves it.

As they walk past training ground, disciples’ voices reach them.

“—and once I’m done, Shizun will say I’m his favorite.” One of the younger ones is saying.

Luo Binghe snorts. Shen Qingqiu slows down and shushes him.

“You know he loves that Binghe man the most, A-Tao.”

Shen Qingqiu clears his throat, fighting the blush.

“Does he? He never said so, he just says he’s his favorite. I can be favorite!”

“He never said it in front of you! He’s probably saying it a-all the time when they’re home.”

Shen Qingqiu freezes completely, suddenly feeling uneasy and tense. He feels Luo Binghe go still, too.

“It’s all good, Shizun.” Luo Binghe says a moment later, placating as he always does. “This Binghe is getting tired. Let’s go home?”

They do. They go through their nightly routine, and the evening is still nice and calm, and Shen Qingqiu isn’t nervous, isn’t anxious, isn’t awkward. He’s all good.

He’s never said “I love you” to his husband, but it’s okay. Binghe knows.

He does, right?

[the-cooler-king]

Also since its 9am in going to have a baby moment.... I don't feel lonely and I'm not like forlorn or sad but I really. Wish. I. Had. Friends.

[street-corner-felines]

Zero Day (2002)

[yoggybloggy]

also the players and aabria fighting in adventuring party is kind of funny and kind of exemplifies my problems with burrow's end. like yes the point is that the morals are grey and last bast is obviously not all good but at the same time aabria's trying to paint it like "well you just killed four (kind of) innocent people [they literally aren't why did she say that] without talking to them, trying to overtake last bast when you just got here" etc. while the first stoats were obviously antagonistic and she literally set up the coppers to be the police force etc., while the players are way on the other side assuming them to all be fascists, though on some level just trying to learn to survive in a place where the culture is radically different and seems sketch - but the fact that they immediately started to try and grab power at last bast is very telling, too. obviously this IS exactly the conflict of the story aabria's trying to tell, e.g. players/PCs thinking they're always in the right and coming into a community and taking over regardless of the people there (i know this has been better articulated better elsewhere ofc), and i'm not saying the solution is to have made last bast less antagonistic to the players bc i think having the greyness there is much more interesting, but... idk. it's not quite cohering to me

[burnnouts]

"It seems there is much I might learn from you." The words were, in part, simple flattery; that was, after all, the purpose of this ball, this meeting--to bring peace between their new nations, to settle old disputes and let the bad blood dry at last. But there was truth there as well. They had lived very different lives, seen different lands, and met very different people along their journeys. The North was adamant that the Southerners did not--and could not--understand their traditions, but Robb understood that this went both ways. The North was secluded. Even when it had been part of the Seven Kingdoms, it had truly been a land of its own: its own gods, its own customs. There was much about life in the South they simply did not understand.

When the war had begun, when his men had first declared him King in the North, Robb had naively believed they might live forever in a sort of self imposed isolation. That they might cut the South off for good and he might never have to worry again about the lands and people beyond his own borders. Now, he saw how foolish that was. They had gotten their independence, but neighbors they remained, and understanding the South was the first step toward prolonged peace between their new nations.

"No," Rob agreed. "Survival is to win the war. When the war is over, you still must live in the world you have created." Had they created a good one? He had asked himself that same question every day since the war had begun. Was he doing the right thing? Had he truly avenged his father? Were his decisions as king the right ones to protect his people and keep the North safe? And right there was part of the problem: he had spent so long worrying about keeping them safe; now, he must make sure they were happy.

He was quiet as she spoke of her time in Dorne. He had not dared to ask, but he could not help but wonder about her time in that land, about the marriage she had almost had. It was clear in her words that she was happy there. He, too, had been happy once. Happily married, expecting a child. And he had lost it all in a single night. Had that been his sacrifice, as she'd said? "I am sorry you had to leave. It sounds as if you were happy. I wish you did not have to give up such things, though it is our duty, I suppose, as you've said. You are braver than I. When given the choice, I chose what my heart ached for." A girl he was not meant to marry, a vow that broke his oath. And it had nearly cost him everything.

"I do not regret it, but I regret that others were hurt in the process. I regret that it was a choice that had to be made." He cleared his throat. He would rather not think about his late wife. He wondered if she felt the same when she spoke of Tristan--that tearing pain in her chest, that ache. "My father taught me that fear was part of ruling. He said he woke with fear in the morning and went to bed with fear in the night. I didn't believe him. I asked him, 'How can a man be brave if he's afraid?' That's the only time a man can be brave, he told me. If you are afraid, I believe you must be doing something right."

He smiled. "I might melt." Yet, he was not a full Northener. He had the Riverlands in his blood just as much as he did Winterfell. Walking through the sunshine, feeling that warmth upon his skin, had been the best part of the war.

He took her hand as it was offered. "Lead the way, Your Grace."

Myrcella   smiled   at   Robb’s   words,   the   soft   glow   of   the   hall   casting   delicate   shadows   across   her   face.   There   was   a   certain   tension   in   his   awkwardness   that   she   found   endearing—an   echo   of   the   Robb   Stark   she   had   heard   stories   about,   the   young   lord   who   had   fought   so   fiercely   for   the   North   and   now   wore   a   crown   as   heavy   as   her   own.   The   Queen   of   the   Six   Kingdoms   held   herself   with   a   grace   learned   in   the   courts   of   King's   Landing   and   honed   by   the   trials   of   rulership,   but   she   had   never   forgotten   her   time   in   Dorne.   It   was   a   part   of   her,   just   as   surely   as   the   Baratheon   blood   in   her   veins.

“War   has   taught   us   many   things,”   she   said,   her   voice   light   but   not   without   meaning.   “But   it   is   peace   that   teaches   us   how   to   live.   The   dances   and   feasts   I   once   attended   seemed   so   frivolous   in   the   wake   of   battle,   but   I’ve   come   to   realize   they   have   their   place,   too.   They   remind   people   what   we   are   fighting   for.”

Her   gaze   lingered   on   him,   his   stiff   posture   and   careful   smile   betraying   the   burden   he   carried   as   king.   She   understood   it   better   than   most.   The   Six   Kingdoms   had   watched   with   wide   eyes   as   she   legitimized   her   siblings—bastards,   some   would   call   them,   though   she   never   did.   It   had   been   necessary,   and   yet,   the   whispers   that   followed   her   every   step   had   grown   louder   with   each   passing   day.   “The   North   has   always   known   survival,”   she   continued,   “but   survival   is   no   longer   enough   for   us,   is   it?”

She   hesitated,   wondering   how   much   to   share.   She   chose   to   answer   a   question   he   hadn’t   quite   asked,   yet   one   she   felt   they   both   understood.   “I   miss   Dorne   sometimes,”   she   admitted   softly.   “The   warmth,   the   colors,   the   freedom   of   it.   Trystane.   But…   being   queen   means   making   choices.   Sacrifices.   It   means   always   looking   forward,   even   when   your   heart   aches   for   what   you   left   behind.”

“I   never   thought   I   would   rule,   and   now   that   I   do,   I   find   that   fear   is   my   constant   companion—fear   of   making   the   wrong   choice,   of   failing   the   people   who   rely   on   me.   But   I   suppose   you   understand   that   better   than   anyone.”   Her   eyes   found   his   again,   a   shared   understanding   passing   between   them.   They   had   both   inherited   crowns   they   hadn’t   been   born   for,   and   the   weight   of   them   was   not   easily   shared.

“Perhaps   one   day,   you   will   see   Dorne,”   Myrcella   added   with   a   faint   smile.   ���Though   I   must   warn   you—once   you   feel   the   sun   on   your   skin   there,   you   may   never   wish   to   leave.”   She   let   out   a   soft   laugh,   one   that   felt   surprisingly   easy   in   his   company.   “And   as   for   dancing…”   She   stepped   a   little   closer,   offering   her   hand   with   a   playful   glint   in   her   eye.   “If   you   wish   to   remember   how,   your   queen   would   be   happy   to   help   you   relearn. ”

[insta-mental-bility]

Yk what hurts more than anything?

Helping your friends make it through something that destroyed you.

Watching them make it out of a battle you fought on your own- unscathed

Because of you

Because you know too much

but you look at it

And it took 10 minutes

it would’ve taken anyone.

Ten fucking minutes

to save you.

But no one did.

No one came to YOUR rescue

You care about them enough to do it without a seconds hesitation

Even if it cost you everything you’d help them

But nobody was willing to help you.

That.

That is painful. On a different level

[metamercury]

I'm so excited for this next fic, and i want to post it right now this very second so i can force my 3 readers to read it. But I need to finish typing up the 2nd edit first -- it's not done

but man. imagine if it were done? I really feel like i outdid myself with the analogy this time. Or will have. Once it's done. It's not done.

[quietwingsinthesky]

“It’s like you kicked a big hole in the side of my life.” things even would say if they met the doctor After-

[grasslandgirl]

this is good this is good im listening to we’ll never have sex at 11:30 pm. this is good this is a good sign about my mental health and how i feel about my ability to make and maintain relationships. yeah. this is great. 

[kuromi-hoemie]

i can't believe i used all my tags on this. i have MORE TO SAY. honorable mentions i will not elaborate on: pikmin, runescape, OG animal crossing.

the reason for all my tags is because there's a difference between "most fun" and "most important" and feel like if they're important u should at least say why :3

[bookwormcosplays]

Okay just watched the X 2022 horror movie and I will continue the rest in the film series, but I have some questions. As soon as I saw the old man walk, I was pretty sure he wasn't actually old. Looked up 66 current day. Which is older, but that's not the age range they're going for if the makeup means anything. But I let it pass. Then I did the same thing with the old woman actress. Saw the makeup, looked it up, 30 years old current day. And yes, I get why, parallels and all that. Maxine played old woman Pearl. I get it. But why not get actual proper old people casted? You can't tell me that they couldn't possibly find any elders who wouldn't want to be a part of a bigger budget film. Just where I've lived older people are excited to take any role because there aren't many roles compared to young/middle age adults and teenagers. The movie emphasized how older bodies aren't considered attractive and they emphasized that by dressing younger people in prosthetics??? Were the sex/nudity scenes supposed to be better because it's not an actual old person? I don't get the choice. The actress for Pearl could still play her in the prequel and still be the same actress for Maxine. It would just have a different older woman casted. It wouldn't have ruined the movie and you can't tell just by looking at the old woman that's the same actress. It's just such an odd choice. If I ever go to a convention and the director is present, I need to ask him this question because it's bothering me. I want a real answer not the screen rant answer. Because I get it technically, but also what would it have really hurt if it was a different casting?

[bazelgeuce]

I can't sleep :(

Rant in tags it's long