#But I need to stay true to the screenshot
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prt 2
#Idk I made it muddy#She loves her space#Outer and personal#Living out their space heros dream#The urge to add a bow is emmense#But I need to stay true to the screenshot#trans leo propaganda will have to wait#tmnt#tmnt 2012#tmnt fanart#trans leo#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt leonardo#tmnt leo#tmnt leo 2012#tmnt memes#2012 tmnt#tmnt 2012 leo
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yessssss GOOD the game didn't bug out and deny me karlach's romance on my gale run eheheheheheheeheeee
#gale dekarios#karlach cliffgate#my rarepair#my loves#they really need a ship name#fireweave?#idkkkkk i am just having so much fun on this run#and omg also tara stays in karlach's tent with her???? i have screenshots#when playing gale does she always hang out with whoever you're romancing???#cute if true
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Knowing everything about the law but not being able to apply it/manifest
The lotus: The lotus flower symbolizes rising from a dark place into beauty and rebirth, as this is precisely how a lotus flower grows. The lotus symbolizes the human Spiritual potential of transformation to the True (Divine) Self. -Google
I’m sure some of the people in this community, myself included, have learnt everything there is to possibly know about the law. You may even have notes and screenshots. But regardless of this, you just cannot apply. You want to change but you stay the same.
Why is this?
1. You lack belief in yourself. You love reading the posts, getting the short burst of motivation, getting ready to apply and change self, and then deflate when you see the 3d. So you consume and consume to get that feeling again, only to fall into the same cycle. You don’t think you can do it and you place the 3d on the pedestal, thinking that it is more real than imagination. You put your desires above you, hopeless that you’ll ever get them.
2. You don’t feel the burning desire to change; to be different. Some people may be lukewarm about their desires. They want it but they don’t want it enough to do something about it. Personally, when I want something really bad, I’d do anything in my power to have it. I’m burning with passion to get it, and in this case it would be to accept it and stay in that state. You have to want to be different. You have to feel like you’re burning with need to get what you want. You have to really want it. And this will act like a final push. You’d be dedicated and passionate about it. And if you’re not like that, if you are lukewarm, reevaluate why you want that thing. Fall back in love with it and actually having it instead of seeing it above you and unattainable.
3. Do you actually want it? You may feel a little resistance or dread towards your “desire” because it’s not something you actually want. It may be something that society has made you think you want. Go deep within and ask yourself if that’s actually something you want. Spend some time with yourself and see if it resonates with you, If you burn with passion for it. It doesn’t matter if society says you need it, this is YOUR reality and you decide if you need it or not.
How do I get out of this cycle?
1. Create a formula for how you’re going to manifest your desires. Take a few screenshots of your absolute favourite posts (5 posts maximum) that will remind you of how the law works and possibly motivate you. Put those in a note along with your formula
2. Now that you have created that, GET OFF OF TUMBLR. Do NOT consume anymore content. You know this shit. If you really need to, reread your screenshots and formula.
3. Constantly go back to your screenshots and formula if you doubt. If you have any questions, try to answer them yourself. You do know the law after all.
4. Try to have an end goal in mind. Like a routine you do everyday regarding manifestation or a time frame that will help you stay disciplined and motivated (but DO NOT focus too much on these things, focus more on fulfilment.) Do methods or anything you want, as long as you feel FULFILMENT it doesn’t matter what you do.
5. Have FUN. Do not make the law a chore for you. It’s so fun if you do the things you love and actually want to manifest and are dedicated to getting what you want, regardless of everything.
Reminder: Failure doesn’t exist. You can only “fail” if you stop persisting.
I really hope this post helped some of you, and I hope you take this to heart. You don’t have to live a life of cycles anymore if you don’t want to. Remember, you always choose what state you’re in. You’re always choosing to be something, to continue being something, to manifest something. Become unstoppable and undefeatable. You deserve this. I believe in you, now believe in yourself.
Now become like the lotus flower.
#law of assumption#manifesting#edward art#loa#neville goddard#loa tumblr#loassumption#manifest#void state#heavenangelly#4d#3d#imagination#how to apply the law of assumption#knowing everything about the law but not being able to manifest
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(I used a screenshot of the original request in here, because I wans't able to reply to the original request anymore, whoops)
Here it finally is! Please let me know what you thought of it :) Requests are open btw! Feel free to request anything :) I'm considering to do kinktober as well this year, so leave your requests for that as well :)
Supposed To Be Mine - Charles Leclerc (ONESHOT)
Masterlist ↳pairing: charles leclerc x female!reader ↳word count: 4.9K ↳warnings: friends to lovers, jealous!sex, jealousy, (minor) possessiveness, jealous Charles, smut, 18+(MDNI!), handjob (m!receiving), pinv ↳summary: In which Oscar wins the Azerbaijan GP & Charles gets jealous because their mutual friend decides to celebrate with Oscar& not him (or so he thinks). This results in pent up emotions, a heated argument & of course, jealous sex
It was Sunday, September 15th when you found yourself making your way through the paddock. The sun was shining bright and the atmosphere was making you feel ecstatic. You, a familiar face on the grid, had been here to support your friends. While you usually worked as a member of the F1 TV team during Grand Prix, this weekend you were off duty, free to fully enjoy the festivities of the Grand Prix.
Over the years, you'd built strong friendships with most of the grid, but there were three drivers you were particularly close to: Oscar, Charles, and Alex. Each friendship had grown naturally, but in distinct ways.
Alex was the one who felt like a brother from the start. You clicked immediately, sharing the same dry humor, hobbies, and an undeniable love for animals. He was always there for you—whether it was picking you up from the club after too many drinks or cheering you up when your heart got broken again. If there was one word to describe your bond, it was siblings.
Then there was Oscar, your roommate. He ticked all the boxes for the perfect best friend. Your friendship took time to blossom, but once it did, you both quickly realized how well you fit together, purely platonically. The thought of taking it further had never crossed your minds—it just wasn’t like that. After moving to Monaco, you’d struggled to find an apartment, so Oscar offered you a place to stay. A year later, you were still living together because, honestly, it was too much fun to stop.
Then last, but certainly not least, Charles. Your bond with him was something else entirely. The connection between you felt effortless, almost surreal. He was the friend you could call at any hour to talk about anything or nothing. You could spend hours in comfortable silence, never growing bored. But Charles was also the friend that you had secretly been in love with for years. You knew you shouldn't be, your friendship worth way too much to risk it for a stupid crush. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get over him. Every time you dated someone else, it always came back to Charles.
But even if you'd allow yourself to feel the way you did about him, you'd already given up the hope of him ever feeling the same despite your friends insisting otherwise, pointing out how he smiled brighter when he was around you or how his gaze lingered a little longer. You were unable to believe it, the scenario seeming to good to be true.
There were moments—fleeting, breathless moments—when you thought something was there. Moments where your faces hovered inches apart, breaths mingling, hearts pounding. But right before anything could happen, one of you would pull back, retreating before the tension broke, both of you pretending it had never happened.
Charles had been in love with you longer than he cared to admit. Everything about you captivated him—the way your laughter filled a room, the ease with which you could calm him when he was frustrated, the way you just got him without him needing to explain a thing. Around you, he felt at ease and yet so unbelievably nervous. His heart would race whenever you were near, his palms would get sweaty, and he could feel the tension in his chest and stomach. There were so many times he’d wanted to pull you close, to feel your body against his, but something always stopped him.
It was fear. Fear that you would notice how much he felt for you and that it would scare you off. The thought of you realizing the depth of his feelings terrified him, because losing you, even as just a friend, was unthinkable. He tried to keep a distance for that reason, but it was impossible. You had this way of driving him wild without even trying, leaving him helpless in the wake of his emotions.
He’d fantasized about you more often than he dared to admit—so many nights spent alone in his apartment, hand slipping beneath his waistband, your name falling from his lips in breathless whispers. But it wasn’t just the physical desire; it was how much he felt when he was around you. You made him feel alive in a way no one else could.
And then, there was Oscar. The way you two were so close, always together, always laughing, sent a pang of jealousy through him. You said there was nothing romantic between you, but sometimes, Charles couldn’t help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, you felt something for him. It ate at him, the idea of someone else having what he wanted so desperately. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold back.
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The roar of engines echoed across the pit lane as the top three finishers of the Azerbaijan Grand Prix parked their cars by their respective signs. Charles finished 2nd, which made you incredibly excited for him, but your excitement today reached an even higher level by the one who finished first. Oscar just won his second Grand Prix in F1 and you were feeling so incredibly proud.
You were standing at the front of the crowd, engulfing Oscar's mom in a crushing hug, sharing your mutual excitement. You looked up at Oscar climbing out of the car, bumping his fist in the air, cheering enthusiastically.
"God, look at him, finally a win he is allowing himself to enjoy!" you chimed to his mom.
You watched as Oscar ran straight into the arms of his engineers, their shared happiness palpable in the air. The joy between them was infectious, and you couldn’t help but smile as you took in the scene.
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Charles climbing out of his car in the background, your heart skipping a beat at the sight of him. Post-race Charles always did things to you that you couldn't quite explain. You wanted to wave, but he seemed busy with his team, so you decided to congratulate him on his podium later.
Your attention shifted back to Oscar just as he approached his mum, pulling her into a warm embrace while carefully avoiding bumping her with his helmet.
"I'm so proud of you, darling!" she cooed, squeezing him a little tighter before they eventually pulled apart.
Oscar removed his helmet and reached up to pull off his balaclava, revealing a blissed-out expression. His smile was radiant, a mix of joy and relief, as if the weight of the race had melted away in that victorious moment.
He caught your eye, and his grin widened. "I did it! I actually did it!" he exclaimed, still sounding like he couldn’t quite believe it.
"You did! You really did!" you gushed, your smile matching his as you shared in his happiness.
Without warning, Oscar launched himself at you, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you over the fence you’d been leaning against. He hugged you tightly, spinning you around as both of you laughed, the sound of your shared joy echoing across the pit lane.
The cameras were all pointed in your direction, capturing the moment. To you and Oscar, it was nothing more than two best friends celebrating a hard-fought victory. But to the outside world, the scene looked far more intimate than it felt.
Charles stood at a distance, watching the moment unfold. His chest tightened as he took in the sight of you and Oscar together, laughter and smiles shared so easily between you. You’d told him there was nothing going on with Oscar, that the two of you were just best friends—but looking at you now, Charles couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy.
It hurt. It hurt to see you in Oscar’s arms, when he wished so desperately that it was him instead. He felt a wave of frustration, jealousy swirling inside him. Oscar was his friend, someone he genuinely liked, but seeing you together like that made it hard to think straight. The fear that Oscar might steal you away—his girl, even though you weren’t even his—gnawed at him.
“She said there was nothing between them,” he muttered under his breath, trying to convince himself.
Pierre appeared beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I think it’s not what it looks like, mate," he offered, sensing Charles’ mood.
Charles shook his head, frustration still bubbling beneath the surface. "That’s what they always say when they’re denying it," he replied, his voice low. "I know she’s single, and she can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants, but… it just hurts."
Pierre gave him a sympathetic look, but Charles couldn’t shake the feeling. He wanted to punch something, not because he hated Oscar—he liked Oscar—but because seeing you so close to him made him feel like he was losing you, even though you were never his to begin with.
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Later in the day, as the adrenaline from the race began to wear off, you found yourself searching for Charles. You had spent the afternoon immersed in the celebrations with Oscar and the McLaren team, reveling in their victory. Despite the fun, your thoughts kept drifting back to Charles.
Navigating through the bustling paddock, you scanned the area for any sign of him. You wanted to offer your congratulations and express how proud you were, but Charles seemed to have vanished.
When you stepped into the Ferrari motorhome, you were greeted by Carlos. The Spaniard offered you a small, knowing smile. "Hey," he said as he approached you.
"Hey, have you seen Charles?" you asked, absentmindedly twirling a stray strand of hair.
Carlos's smile turned apologetic. "He already left for the hotel. Said something about not feeling up to it today."
Your heart sank a bit. "Oh, I wanted to congratulate him earlier, but I got caught up with the celebrations."
A flicker of realization crossed Carlos's face. "Ah, that explains why he seemed so on edge when he came back here."
Confusion clouded your expression. "What do you mean?"
Carlos’s eyes twinkled with a hint of mischief. "I think Charles got a bit unsettled seeing you so close with Oscar instead of him."
You frowned, trying to make sense of it. "Why would he be annoyed? My best friend won the race. Of course I celebrated with him. It's not like I didn't want to celebrate with Charles, it's just that Oscar is my best friend. And he also deserves the attention when he achieves something amazing like this."
Carlos’s smirk widened slightly. "That’s exactly his problem."
You stood there, grappling with the situation, struggling to find the right words. Carlos seemed to sense your confusion and gently placed a hand on your shoulder. "Maybe you should talk to him. There might be more going on between you two than you realize."
His words hung in the air, adding a new layer to your thoughts as you considered the possibility of unspoken feelings and misunderstandings.
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"You seemed awfully intimate with Piastri this afternoon, anything unfolding there?" you heard Alex tease on through the phone.
He had called you had texted that you were on the way back to the hotel, something you often did to just gossip and rant about everything that went on.
You rolled your eyes, and huffed "Why does everybody keep saying that. Not even in my wildest dreams, ew" you whined "I know he's good looking, I'm not blind, but the idea of doing something with him revolts me just as much as it revolts him"
The chuckle that Alex let out was audible to you "Well, to be fair, it didn't look like nothing on camera" he started, another chuckle leaving his lips "Have you checked your social media lately? Apparently the camera's catched Charles' reaction to your little moment with Oscar. The video is going quite viral. He is shooting daggers at Oscar, man. The jealousy is literally burning in his eyes"
You sighed "Don't, Alex" you whispered "Don't give me hope"
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You arrived at Charles's hotel room with a mix of anxiety and frustration swirling inside you. His abrupt disappearance after the celebration, coupled with his avoidance of your calls, had left you feeling unsettled and concerned. Your knuckles rapped against the door, the sound echoing in the empty hallway. When Charles finally opened it, his face was a mask of irritation, the tension in his posture unmistakable.
“What’s going on?” you demanded, stepping past him before he could react.
Charles’s eyes were dark with frustration. “Nothing,” he snapped, but the rigidity in his stance and the clenched fists he tried to hide told a different story.
You let out a sigh, frustration bubbling up inside you. “I know you’re lying,” you insisted, moving to sit on the edge of his bed, trying to steady your breathing. “Please, just talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong. What did I do?”
Charles stood with his back to you, his breathing shallow and uneven. “Why him?” he finally asked, his voice strained and raw.
Confusion creased your brow. “What are you talking about?”
Charles’s frustration finally erupted. “Why did you celebrate with Oscar and not with me? I finished second. I deserved some attention too.”
You took a deep breath, trying to stay calm despite the rising tension. “Oscar’s my best friend too. This win was a big deal for him. I wanted to be there for him. I tried to find you, but you were already gone.”
Charles’s eyes flashed with hurt and jealousy, a dark storm clouding his gaze. “It feels like you care more about him than me. It fucking hurts to see you so close to him, probably even—”
His words struck a nerve, causing irritation to flare within you. “Oscar and I are just friends, Charles.” You stated, your anger bubbled over. “And so what if it was more? Why does it matter to you? I’m not your property. You dont get to decide who I spend time with. You’re my best friend, not my boyfriend.”
Charles’s face flushed with frustration, his voice rising with each word. “Merde, for fuck’s sake, I don’t want to be your best friend!”
His declaration stunned you, a mix of hurt and anger surging within you, causing tears to well up in your eyes. “Well, if you don’t want to be my best friend, I might as well go back to Oscar then. Since, according to you, that’s where I prefer to be. You apparently know me better than I do!”
Without waiting for a response, you turned to leave, but Charles’s hand shot out, grabbing your wrist with a desperate grip. His eyes burned with an intense emotion, a mixture of longing and possessiveness that was almost palpable. Before you could react, he pulled you close, his lips crashing against yours in a kiss that was both fierce and consuming.
The kiss was rough, charged with pent-up emotions. Charles’s lips moved against yours with an urgent hunger, a reflection of the depth of his feelings. The heat of his body pressed against yours, every touch and caress infused with an intensity that left you breathless. His hands roamed over your curves, claiming you with each possessive stroke. You could feel the undeniable pressure of his arousal pressing against you, intensifying the moment.
He guided you gently back toward the bed, his touch both tender and commanding. Slowly, he lowered you down onto it, his hands caressing your sides with a reverence that spoke of his deep feelings for you. He leaned over you, his breath warm against your skin. “I don’t want to be your best friend,” he said, his voice heavy with desire. “I want to be your boyfriend.”
You were taken aback by his declaration, the words resonating deeply within you. Before you could respond, Charles’s lips were on yours again, kissing you with a fierce passion that left you breathless. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you closer, as he explored your body with a mix of urgency and tenderness.
You moaned softly, the sound escaping your lips as his touch ignited a fire within you. Charles’s arousal was evident, his body pressing against yours in a way that heightened your senses. “Tell me you think about me at night and not him,” he demanded, his voice husky and filled with longing.
The world around you seemed to dissolve as Charles’s touch and kisses overwhelmed your senses. His hands roamed over your body, exploring, caressing, igniting every nerve with a mix of desperation and adoration. His touch was both possessive and tender, his kisses deep and demanding.
“Tell me,” he urged, his voice a low, heated whisper. “Tell me you scream my name when you come and not his.”
You met his intense gaze, your voice breathless and filled with yearning. “Only you, Charles. It has always been you.”
Charles’s eyes darkened with satisfaction, his expression softening slightly as he continued his intimate exploration. He guided your hands to his jeans, his breathing ragged with desire. “Have you ever thought about him like this?” he asked, his voice a rough whisper. “Touched him like this?”
You looked up at him, your eyes filled with a mixture of defiance and affection. “It’s only you, Charles,” you replied, your voice sultry. “I never saw Oscar that way.”
Charles’s frustration and desire mingled as he felt your touch, his body tensing and his control slipping. He moaned softly, a deep, guttural sound that reflected his overwhelmed state. His hands gripped the edge of the bed for support as you palmed him through his jeans, your touch eliciting a series of desperate groans from him.
Unable to hold back any longer, you undid the button of his jeans and slid your hand inside, taking him in your grasp. Charles gasped, his breathing coming in short, erratic bursts. “F-Fuck,” he whimpered, his voice strained. “That feels so good.” His body tensed and trembled, overwhelmed by the sensation of your touch. “J-Just like that,” he gasped, his voice a desperate, needy growl. “Show me you’re mine. I want you to think about me every time you touch yourself. I hope that after tonight, you can never touch another man without thinking about me.”
You looked at him, your eyes filled with passion. “It’s already been like that for years,” you whispered, your voice trembling with desire.
Charles’s gaze softened for a moment, but his need took over. He flipped you back onto the bed with a sudden, urgent intensity. His movements were driven by a deep-seated desire, his lips finding yours again, kissing you with a feverish passion that made your heart race.
As he undressed you, his touch was both deliberate and passionate. He removed the last bits of his clothing with a mix of urgency and tenderness, his hands lingering on your skin, savoring the feel of you beneath him. He paused, looking into your eyes with a mixture of tenderness and desire. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked, his voice a low, heated whisper. “Tell me, do you want this as much as I do?”
You nodded, your voice breathless with anticipation. “Yes, Charles. I want you. I want all of you.”
Charles’s eyes darkened with satisfaction as he positioned himself above you. His hands continued their intimate exploration, his kisses trailing down your neck and shoulders with a mix of urgency and tenderness. Each touch was a declaration of his intense feelings, a blend of passion and possession that left you craving more.
As the intensity of the moment built, Charles’s control wavered. He pulled back slightly, his eyes filled with a mixture of need and desire. “Tell me you’re mine,” he urged, his voice a rough whisper. “I want to hear you say it, mon amour”
You looked at him, your body trembling with desire as he continued to touch and kiss
you. “I’m yours, Charles,” you whispered, your voice trembling with both need and certainty.
Charles’s expression softened into one of profound relief and adoration, but a trace of jealousy lingered in his eyes, his gaze never leaving yours. As he positioned himself between your legs, there was a mixture of tenderness and possessiveness in his touch. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he murmured, his voice filled with deep emotion and a hint of a possessive edge.
With that, he entered you slowly, his movements tender yet unmistakably possessive. His thrusts were gentle and loving, but each one was infused with a sense of claiming, as though he was marking you as his own. His kisses were gentle but urgent, his lips traveling down your neck as he began to suck and nibble, leaving marks that would clearly show his affection and his possessiveness.
You gasped, feeling the intensity of his touch. “Charles, be careful. They will be visible,” you said, your voice a mixture of concern and pleasure.
Charles’s eyes darkened with a mix of satisfaction and jealousy. “That’s the point,” he murmured against your skin, his voice a low growl filled with both desire and a possessive undertone. “I want him to see and know that you belong to me. I want him to see what he’s missing, that you’re mine and mine alone.”
His words stirred something deep within you, causing a moan to escape your lips that was loud and unrestrained, a testament to the intense pleasure you were experiencing. Your hand instinctively traveled up to his neck, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled gently but firmly. The sensation of his hair being tugged caused him to shiver, and he let out a deep, guttural moan that reverberated against your skin.
Charles’s reaction was immediate and visceral. He groaned softly, his breath coming in ragged bursts as the pull on his hair heightened his arousal. “Fuck...” he whispered, his voice trembling with both pleasure and disbelief. The feeling of your fingers in his hair only intensified his longing, making him feel as though he were losing control. “Merde… that feels so good,” he muttered, his tone rough and desperate. “You have no idea what you do to me.”
The way you tugged at his hair drove him to new heights of pleasure, his moans growing louder and more fervent as he lost himself in the sensations. Each pull sent a jolt of electricity through him, making his movements more urgent and fervent, as though he were trying to convey just how deeply your touch affected him.
As he continued, his thrusts maintained a balance of gentle passion and possessive claim, his hands gripping you with a mix of tenderness and assertion. The rhythm of his movements was both caring and commanding, a reflection of his deep, conflicted emotions. His kisses left a trail of marks, each one a silent declaration of his fierce, consuming love and possessiveness.
Charles’s eyes lock onto yours, his breath coming in short, uneven bursts. “I-I’m so close,” he gasps, his voice strained with the intensity of the moment. The desperate need in his eyes makes your heart race, his body pressing into yours with a fervor that only heightens your own arousal.
You can barely hold back your own pleasure, the sensations coursing through you almost overwhelming. “Me too” you moan, your voice trembling as you inch closer to the edge. “Come for me, Charles,”
Your encouragement is the final push he needs, and his body reacts instantly. The combination of your words and the electric tension between you drives him over the edge. The urgency in Charles’s movements and the heat of his gaze as tumbles over the edge draws you to the peak of your ecstasy with him.
As the two of you reached the peak of your intimacy, Charles’s moans mingled with your own, creating a symphony of pleasure and connection that echoed through the room. The shared release was an explosion of ecstasy that left you both trembling and gasping, entwined in the aftermath of your union.
When the world finally settled and the waves of pleasure began to recede, Charles held you close, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he whispered, “God, you have no idea how long I’ve been in love with you.”
You smiled through your own breathless satisfaction, responding softly, “I could say the same to you.”
Charles’s expression softened further as he kissed you tenderly, his hands caressing your skin with a gentleness that spoke of his deep affection. The moment was filled with a profound sense of connection and fulfillment, a testament to the depth of his feelings and the strength of your bond.
masterlist
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc imagine#f1#smut#f1 smut#formula 1 smut#scuderia ferrari#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#friends to lovers#bestfriends to lovers#charles leclerc fluff#formula 1 x reader#fluff#f1 fanfic#formula 1#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#jealousy#jealous#jealous charles leclerc
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I saw someone ask what "I hope this hurts" means beyond the obvious, and I started to respond only for it to turn into an essay... Because I don't feel like dumping something so long in some unsuspecting person's notifs, I'm just going to post it here instead.
I started writing this after playing the game, but ended up watching a playthrough because I couldn't remember exactly where "I hope this hurts" was repeated. I think I caught the only few times it was mentioned, but I wouldn't be surprised if I missed something, so feel free to correct me on that or anything else I might have gotten wrong.
Spoilers for the full game and CWs for everything you would expect from discussing Mouthwashing apply.
Edited 10/16/2024 for clarity and some minor issues with formatting. I added sections in hopes of making it more readable, as well as a few more screenshots that I hope will support my points better. *Indicates where I made potentially significant additions to my original analysis.
Part One: Jimmy
Jimmy is someone who has a delicate ego. This means that he's very concerned with how he's perceived by those around him. We see this in how he responds to Curly and the news of the company's closure, which he takes it as a personal attack in spite of it very clearly having nothing to do with him on a personal level.
For people like Jimmy, a threat to one's image (whether it's a matter of their perception of themselves or, maybe worse, the perception others have of them) brings intense emotional pain. Even though it's clear that Curly meant no personal offense, and likely saw more good in Jimmy than was actually there, Jimmy sees this as a great threat to his own image, and thus identity.
To be clear, it's not just that Jimmy thinks Curly is looking down on him. It's also that Jimmy needs his role in the company to maintain his image, and he needs to eventually become captain. This is his ultimate goal because the respect and control that someone like Curly has, in Jimmy's mind, is tied to the title he possesses. And Jimmy wants that. He wants respect, he wants to be listened to, he wants power over others. (This is also why Swansea's final speech is so important, in relation to the belief that if one just reaches this next goal, they might feel a little more human, a little more in control, a little more fulfilled, but as Swansea shows us, that's just not the case. And it's true for Jimmy, too. Jimmy isn't magically fulfilled by obtaining the title of captain.)
But in the beginning, Jimmy has yet to realize that just getting the role of captain won't magically make him a man who is respected, or even a man who is truly in control. He sees no opportunities for himself on earth. The only option is to stay in this company and become a little lord of his own ship... and suddenly that's ripped out from under him. He will never reach the goal he's been chasing for all of this time.
Anya telling him about her pregnancy is the final push he needs to go over the edge.
Part Two: Captain
Returning to the initial reveal that the company is shutting down for a second, I think it's important to keep in mind a few things:
1. The importance of the title of captain in Jimmy's mind.
2. How this extends to his perception of Curly, him being the current captain.
3. Jimmy's self-centeredness preventing him from understanding the feelings and perceptions of those around him.
When Curly says what he does, Jimmy immediately jumps to the conclusion that Curly sees himself as above everyone else (and most importantly, as above Jimmy), to the point of considering them "dirt." I don't think Jimmy is just projecting his greatest fear (being seen as lesser) onto Curly. I think he's projecting his own perceptions.
He's placed all of this importance on the title of captain, and thus Curly. The captain is above Jimmy. Jimmy is beneath him, is lesser. And we know how Jimmy treats those he sees as lesser (first Anya, and then the rest of the crew once he's captain, *manipulating Daisuke into putting his life at risk because Daisuke, who is just an intern after all, just isn't important to Jimmy being an example).
I think this is a fair reading because Jimmy does something similar with Swansea when he insists that Swansea is keeping the last cryostasis pod for himself. I understand some might say that this is just Jimmy's attempt to manipulate Daisuke and Jimmy doesn't actually believe it, which is a fair interpretation, but I sincerely think he believes what he's saying in this instance. And I think that because Jimmy sees selfishness as common sense. It's what he would do were he in Swansea's position, and what makes him giving the pod to Curly significant.
Part Three: Anya
So, Jimmy is already hurt and panicking. He sees his chance at power and thus fulfillment slipping away. And then Anya tells him that she's pregnant.
Anya, who he has shown time and time again that he thinks little of.
Anya, who he clearly sees as beneath him.
Any mention of the pregnancy, no matter how gently it was worded, would immediately feel like a threat to him on multiple levels. And not only that, but a threat from someone lesser than him. His image, his status, his control, his power—it's already slipping from his fingertips. *It's happening right then, in that moment. It's not just a potential future where he's held accountable in a real way (maybe if Anya involved authorities, or if Jimmy was legally responsible for supporting a child once they returned to earth). It's happening now, because his image is crumbling.
For this reason, I believe I hope this hurts to be directed at anyone and everyone that he sees as "threatening" him.
Anya and Curly have made him hurt. He wants to make them hurt.
He doesn't care about Daisuke and Swansea. If anything, he's so caught up in himself and this contorted vision of reality, I wouldn't be shocked if he convinced himself in the moment that they, too, were looking down on him for some reason. (See again, "I know what everyone is thinking. The way they look at me." Obviously this is said in the midst of his spiral, after the crash, but I wouldn't doubt the paranoia was there before that moment.)
He wants to make them hurt as they've hurt him. He may also want to make himself hurt in order to vent out his emotional pain. If not, death may simply be the easiest way to escape pain and the threat the future holds in his mind.
*Part Four: Without the Guilt
In addition to all of this, I think crashing the ship (making them hurt) is his vision of what Curly has done or is doing to him. This is how he "leave(s) the dirt behind."
To understand this, I'm going to include the birthday conversation and the conversation between Jimmy and Curly about crashing the ship.
Jimmy: ... So I guess you got what you wanted. Without the guilt. Curly: Jim... If I had known... Jimmy: I can go back to my, how'd you put it? "Struggle of a life?" Jimmy: Anya never got into medical school because she's... well, let's be real. Jimmy: And how many employment years Swansea got left in him? Jimmy: Daisuke will be fine, mommy and daddy have him covered. So there's that at least. Jimmy: But you. Headed for bigger and better, right? Curly: I'm just... I'm just working on my life being a place I don't have to fucking escape! That's what I was trying to tell you, nothing mor- Jimmy: We're the ones you're trying to escape! Leave the dirt behind now that your boots are clean! Curly: That's not what I meant. Jimmy: It is what you meant. Jimmy: You just couldn't frame it to yourself in a way that kept you as the hero. Jimmy: Abandon the crew but remain the model captain.
To me, this is one of the most important and revealing sections of the game. Jimmy is not only projecting onto Curly, he's telling us exactly what he's going to go on to do (or attempt to do) when he becomes captain.
In addition to this, we see his manipulation on full display as he twists Curly's words and won't allow him even a moment to truly speak beyond a few lines he manages to get in between Jimmy's ranting.
That's not to mention we see the beginning of yet another pattern in Jimmy's behavior: getting a person to admit their weakness, then using it against them and/or using it to hurt them (he does this with Daisuke, for example, when he hears Daisuke's fears/desire for approval and proceeds to use it to get Daisuke in the vent). Here, Curly speaks about feeling trapped. Jimmy will soon trap him in a crashed ship just as much as he traps him in his own body, which Jimmy will proceed to drug. But I'll return to that.
Curly: Jim. I can fix this. Jimmy: What do you think will happen when we get back? Hm? Curly: We can figure all of this out. You and me. Take care of it. Kills ninety nine percent. Jimmy: All I ever hear is how great of a leader you are. God, it's so annoying. Jimmy: But, now... What do you think will happen now when we get back? Curly: We'll fix this together. Jimmy: Everything you and I worked for in our lives. Accomplishments, changes. Jimmy: None of it will matter. Curly: You've gotten through difficult situations before. This time won't be any different. Work through it, one day at a time. Jimmy: It's not just me, is it? Jimmy: You were supposed to be the one who had everything under control. You said so yourself. Jimmy: The ship, this crew, everything that happened here... Jimmy: This was your responsibility, Captain. Jimmy: That is what you'll be hearing the rest of your life. Take responsibility. Jimmy: Or this can all be remembered as a tragedy. Jimmy: Despite what must have been the best efforts of its acclaimed captain. Jimmy: The Tulpar crew was never found. Jimmy: No one survived to tell the tale. Take responsibility. Jimmy: You're standing at the top. Jimmy: Feet in cement. Jimmy: I get it now. Right? Curly: ... Curly: ... Right.
This is an important moment, because aside from the scene in which Jimmy is approaching Curly while he's on fire, it's the only other time that I can recall the game separating from their perspectives to allow us to see them both, standing together.
We see a flash of Take care of it. Kills ninety nine percent. Jimmy begins to pull away. Another flash. He continues to draw back. Another. He turns towards the cockpit.
Jimmy sees through Curly. He sees Curly's worst where Curly sees only Jimmy's best, and he's more that willing to use that against Curly.
He sees a man who is not going to do what's hard. He sees a man who is going to try to "fix it" only in the most superficial sense. A man who confuses the appearance of cohesion and peace with the reality of it. Someone who sees the rocking of the boat as a manifestation of taking action against a wrong rather than the wrong itself.
In the end, it seems they're both ruled by appearances. And Jimmy will soon rip appearances in every sense from Curly's fingertips. He will make him hurt. He will get his revenge. He'll turn Curly into the villain, taking away his title, his respect, and his very face.
For daring to look down on him, Jimmy will turn Curly into dust.
But I think these words—I hope it hurts—come back to haunt him.
Part Five: The Eye as a Mirror
Like I said, I went back to try to find each time the phrase is used. There's the beginning, of course, but then there's the pregnancy sequence, for lack of a better name.
When the Polle monstrosity emerges from the giant uterus (?), we see these words:
In this sequence, we see a lot of different images and concepts connected: Anya's pregnancy and thus her sexual assault by Jimmy are tied to Polle and the company. The emergence of the Polle monster from the giant uterus (and the idea of the removal of the pregnancy) is tied to the mouthwash, as it's an act of "cleansing." This is all then tied to the phrase I hope this hurts.
Unless I missed something, these are the only two moments when the phrase is used: When Jimmy crashes the ship, and when he's experiencing this hallucination.
All clean! Really gets rid of that bad taste in your mouth, huh? Through wreckage! Through silence! Wash it away! All day fire fresh!
"Clean" is important immediately. "Leave the dirt behind you now that your boots are clean," Jimmy says. Because in this accusation is Jimmy's actual intentions himself. He wants to rise above others and clean himself from their filth. Now, he wants to clean himself of his sins.
I think "Really gets rid of that bad taste in your mouth" is mocking him. A direct challenge to the thought that he could ever truly be "cleaned," at least in the ways he's so desperately trying to go about it. *Not to mention how this connects to the mouthwash, as it might get that 99%, but there's always going to be 1% left.
"Through wreckage" obviously refers to the wrecking of the ship, but also of their lives. All by Jimmy. Though I wouldn't doubt in his mind it connects to the wreckage of consequences (ie. Anya's pregnancy resulting from Jimmy's actions).
"Through silence" I feel connects back to Jimmy's attempts to keep everything quiet, both literally and figuratively.
"Wash it away" also has a mocking edge, as if stressing the foolishness of Jimmy's attempts to treat these very serious events as if it's all just "dirt" he can wipe off.
Finally, we see "All day fire fresh!" This line stresses the connection to the mouthwash, of course. It also calls to mind the concept of cleansing by fire. Important considering Curly.
And after each, I hope it hurts. Jimmy's statement of pure, childish rage. His desperate desire to make others hurt as he hurts. To lash out, to get revenge. To have control until the very end.
This is also why Polle haunts him. Because he, as a man desperate for control, will always be under the thumb of the company even with that title of captain. That hurts him. And maybe the closest thing to ever recognizing the evil he's done to Anya is envisioning it as similar to the company's control, but even that feels like a mockery because he's so horrifically incapable of seeing her as a human being that she's been reduced to her womb. That's what he's really afraid of, in the end, and the fear feels like something else is in control. It makes the organ feel giant, larger than him, capable of hurting him.
When I was watching the playthrough, I thought that there was going to be four or five "I hope it hurts." I thought it would represent each person Jimmy hurts, or all of them, because he hurts himself too. When the sixth came, I thought so much for that theory. But then, I thought about it and there's the fetus. That makes six.
So, I hope this hurts means "I want to hurt you the way I've been hurt. The way you've hurt me." It's Jimmy saying that if his life has been wrecked, he'll wreck yours. It's Jimmy saying he'll shut you up. It's Jimmy saying he'll burn everything down if it means he can maintain control, or even just the illusion of it.
Part Six: Pain
But I think there's another side to this. Like some of the other lines I said feel are mocking him, I think I hope this hurts turns against Jimmy, especially here. And more than that, pain (and by extension, pain medication) plays a massive role in the game, after all. So I hope this hurts feels as if it haunts every moment where it's involved.
Jimmy says this the first time he gives Curly his pills. Pain is how we know we're still living.
The pills are clearly connected to death from the start. If "pain is how we know we're still living" then pain is connected to life and freedom from it is connected to death. That's saying nothing of Anya's use of the pills to kill herself. I think this connects back to the crash, as well. If life is pain, death is an escape from it.
I think it's also significant that the act of swallowing the pain pills is in and of itself painful.
The pills that are meant to take the pain away become a method of torturing Curly. It's a way to make him hurt, and to exert control over him. Even something that should take away his suffering is just an extension of it.
At one point, Jimmy says "Once these are out, we'll have nothing to keep him quiet." In this sense, the pain pills are meant to suppress, not to heal (Through silence!). They're supposed to shut Curly up and keep him from expressing his anguish in the only way he has left (the noises that disturb Jimmy's sleep).
Others have compared this, or Curly's state, to how Anya has been forced to bottle up her own suffering. Jimmy is keeping them both quiet, or at least attempting to. The ultimate form of keeping them quiet would be to, of course, kill them all.
The pills can also be seen as an attempt to hide or conceal the hurt that has been caused rather than to actually heal. In this way, they're like the mouthwash: something that's not really helping, just covering up an issue (and thus making it worse). And the mouthwash represents Jimmy's attempts to "fix" things. He doesn't actually want to make things right, because that would mean taking accountability. He wants to protect his own ego by "fixing" things in a mimicry of Curly "fixing" things in which he wants to create a sense of "rightness" without actually adressing what (or who) has been wronged. Jimmy can't stand to look at himself, because he would see that he really is constructed of his worst moments, or at least, that's what I suspect he would see.
Conclusion
Considering all of this, I hope this hurts can then become a mantra about living in spite of everything. I hope this hurts means "I hope I'm alive in the end. I hope we're all alive in the end." It could mean "I hope I'm allowed to hurt, because I am hurt, and the harm that's been done to me must be seen rather than suppressed and hidden." It could mean "You can't keep me quiet. You can't ignore or hide what you've done to me."
Maybe most of all, I think it means I hope you reap what you sow. When it's turned back on Jimmy, when it's almost mocking or haunting him, it becomes in part about his emotional weakness. About his inability to look at himself and his reality without experiencing the pain of humiliation. I don't think he ever experiences half of the pain he's inflicted on those around him. Still, he has to deal with the fact that his attempt to hurt others instead of facing himself has caused him more pain rather than taken it away as he'd hoped.
And I think that's why he suddenly decides to make Curly a "hero" instead of a "villain." There's a tipping point where he's pushed into a corner. The pain is too much. He hasn't confronted his own actions in any real way, but he's done enough that he can't stand to save himself anymore. It hurts too badly to live with what he's done. It sends him into another stage of fantasy/delusion. The only thing left to do is what he intended to from the start: kill himself to escape and damn Curly to a slow death. Because to go on living in spite of the pain would be the right thing to do, in a sense. To live in the hell of his own creation. To face what he's done. But instead, he'll entrust those heroics to Curly.
This feels barely coherent in the end, so I might come back in a few days and say wow what the fuck was I talking about? But hopefully there's something here that captures some truth. Again, please feel free to correct me if I'm misremembering anything or if I missed something.
#mouthwashing#spoilers#tw#cw#most of the fucked up mouthwashing shit is mentioned here#idk how ppl are handling tws because are some considered spoilers?#idk
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21.19
University AU Choi San x (F)Reader
Summary: He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake - at this point, she was borderline afraid of him and his correct judgement.
Genre: Fluff
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Word Count: 838
Est.Read Time: 4 min
Networks: @cromernet @k-labels @illusionnet
Banner: @cafekitsune
A/N: wow two in one day? Damn, I must be desperate.
“Am I drooling?” Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand she pushed her glasses up her face, resting them on top of her head, using them to keep the hair off her face, glaring at the man on the screen. Of course, he'd do this every time she'd decide to stay in and revise - moron.
The day had begun like any other gruelling day, weekend, or not, Friday was merely just the same as Monday for her. Considering she didn't have classes tomorrow, there was only one thing she was going to do, revise, something she'd encourage him to do as well, until he'd hit her with the “I study five days a week, I can relax over the weekend.”
Sure, that's easy to say when you're Choi San, boy wonder, the golden boy, lady luck would just follow him around - not that she was any better. Point is, sometimes it came naturally to him, he may not be the smartest but he was always the most confident and well liked and on any other day she would've been giggling and giddy at the thought of him having eyes only for her, not today though.
With a scoff she swiped to the next picture, and the next, until her breath hitched at the last one, something about the closeup picture had every ounce of feminism leave her body, her eyes flickered to the caption, her face flushing at the cookie emoji, her words ringing in her ears, “You're so hot Sannie, I could bake cookies on you!”
In her defense, she was severely drunk that night, and severely tired of her pent up feelings for the man who she had been mutually pinning on for two whole semesters but was too afraid to make a move, and he was too afraid of pushing her away- until of course Choi Jongho took them out for a couple of drinks. Turns out her tolerance was worse than San's, two shots in and she was wasted, leaning against the man’s side, mumbling about how bad her day was, and then somehow ended up saying that.
She shivered at the stupid flashback, visibly cringing at the memory, to think she had just opened her account to sift through stupid reels, to relax for ten minutes, and now for the past forty minutes she had just been staring at the three pictures, as if she had not been more intimate with the man- perhaps it was true, he was hotter with clothes on, or perhaps she just needed to wash her mind with some bleach.
Scoffing at the thought, she took a shameless screenshot of each picture - no, she was not going to ask him to send these pictures to her? What to prove him right? To boost his ego? No, thank you, one should never inflate the balloon of ego man carries around with him.
She had placed the phone down and picked up a pen, but the loud ringer had her squeak like a mouse, fumbling with the pen before she picked up her phone blindly,
“H-hello!?”
“...You saw, but you didn’t like…are you playing hard to get?”
She scoffed at the audacity of this bastard, leaning against her seat, “Didn’t see anything special.”
‘Darling, if I come home and find screenshots-”
“Why are you shamelessly thirst-trapping your girlfriend anyway?” She cut him off instantly, making a mental note to delete the pictures later.
“Because she won't pay attention to me!” He whined, she could ‘hear’ his pout, especially when added in his pouty complaint, “We could be devouring this platter together- and-and then we could have had the mint-choco couple's special!”
With a sigh, she pinched the bridge of her nose, “And then spend the entire weekend at the gym like a dog?”
“Woof! Woof! Sounds like a date,” he snorted, pressing the phone between his ear and shoulder as he struggled with the keys, letting out a hearty laugh at her joke.
“Careful don't let Mingi hear you barking like that!”
“I'll make sure of that, now if I were you, I'd put away those horrid notes,” he mumbled closing the door behind him as he walked towards their room, ignoring her whining and complaining, one he could now hear live as well before he stood at the door frame and cleared his throat, catching her all curled up against the desk, in her swivel chair.
She turned to look at him, almost dying at the thought of an intruder then visibly relaxing at the sight of her lover, neither of the two hanging up.
“Ice-cream? And then we can cram together?” He spoke into the phone, raising the plastic bag to show her a tub of mint chocolate ice cream.
Rubbing her chin she pretended to think about his offer, only to giggle when he came stomping closer threatening to place the wet bag on her notes, earning a squeal from her, before she hugged him by the waist pulling him closer, looking up at him, with a smile, one that matched his, both staring at each other like love-sick puppies “That's not a bad offer, Mr.Choi.”
Taglist: @edenesth @skteezcursed @mlysalt @the-kpop-simp @spooo00oky @bunnyluvr25 @s-h-y-a @ateezswonderland
#cromernet#k labels#illusionnet#choi san#fluff#seonghwa#hongjoong#mingi#jongho#yeosang#yunho#jung wooyoung#choi san x you#choi san x reader#choi san x y/n#choi san x female reader#choi san scenarios#choi san imagines#san imagines#san drabble#san fluff#ateez#ateez x female reader#ateez x you#ateez fanfiction#atz scenarios#atz imagines#atz x reader#atz choi san#choi san fluff
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Important. PLEASE READ!!
For those of you who may not know, which I suspect is probably most of you, I had an interaction with a pro/comship blog (@toh-proship-positivity) about three weeks ago that ended in them accusing a fellow artist, a-magpie-in-gravesfield, of extremely heinous things. I originally was not going to respond to them simply because I didn't want to be bothered with such drama during the holidays. Still, these claims irritated me because, even just from my conversations with this blog and witnessing their behavior firsthand, I knew their claims were likely untrue or, at the very least, exaggerations. I am happy to announce that my intuition was correct and that the claims made about Magpie WERE NOT TRUE.
Several people approached me regarding this, and I also sought a few individuals out myself to look for answers. They provided ample proof, including screenshots, receipts, and conversations between the accuser and the accused, that prove without a shadow of a doubt in my mind that Magpie is innocent of all claims levied against him.
I, along with the help of a few others, gathered as much information as I could find, organized it, and created a master list of evidence to combat every accusation. I am going to share the folder that holds the drama overview as well as every document that was used as an external link. Here are the links to the folder and overview, respectively.
This folder with all related documents will also be downloadable as a zip file on Dropbox to anyone who wishes to have a copy for themself. DM me asking for the download link, and I will provide it to you.
This is not meant to be an attack on the person who levied the claims against Magpie, and this is NOT a call to harassment. This needs to be put out into the open so that this drama inside the Wittebane community can cease.
Here is a direct message from Magpie regarding the situation:
"I just wanted to clarify that I had no hand in making the document itself. I was approached by multiple people asking for my side of the evidence / answering questions about the timeline of things / etc. I myself never look at Horse's posts because I don't want to give any of my time to things like this (and tbh I thought they would have stopped by now). Please don't message me about this. This has been going on for over a year now, and I don't want to focus on negativity. I have already provided a lot of information to the people who made this doc. I also DO NOT condone any kind of harassment towards anyone, including anyone mentioned in this document. I did not ask for this document to be made (actually, for a long time I actively discouraged people from doing it because I thought it wasn't necessary), but because multiple slanderous accusations that included my name were recently brought up to me by people I had never interacted with before as well as friends, and Horse does not seem to have stopped, I figured I would provide my side of things to people who asked as to give answers to anyone who might have heard of this situation. This document was in no way meant to encourage bullying of any kind. Please stay safe everyone!"
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Statement from Overwolf
...Okay, first of all, this whole statement is sadly nothing but them taking the same exact route as before: misdirecting & changing the narrative to only be about "victims" when their Home Support initiative is partnered with the ILF, an openly Zionist organization. This isn't about innocent parties only when they're partnered with an organization that contributes directly towards IDF Military Intelligence. All of the money from the fund goes to the ILF's bank account to distribute, per their own FAQ page. And even without that, the association alone is enough to boycott. Overwolf and Curseforge cannot be "clean of politics" while their CEO partners with and therefore directly supports Zionist parties.
Screenshots directly from Home Support website & ILF website
This statement overall stinks because it puts the blame fully onto people with legitimate concerns by calling them all harassers. Have some people gone too far towards creators? 100%. I know that well. But Overwolf is clearly using that to deflect off of themselves, and this is why it never should have been done in the first place. Y'all focused on the wrong shit- the smaller targets instead of the big ones, and the wrong claim that they're directly funding the IDF with CF revenue, and now they're doing exactly what I said they would: once again using the fact that that's not technically true to weasel out of people's concerns. They even directly call out the fact that it's misinformation like I said they would! They clarified fucking nothing, they repeated the same shit they already said because they know they can. We need to change the focus of the boycott so that they are forced to address their actual wrongdoing! Stop spending all your time sending threatening messages on anon and instead spread factual information with sources and reach out to creators in good faith effort to get them to speak without the fear of being attacked. They will stay silent as long as the negative consequences (financially & socially) is all on them and not Overwolf & EA.
I'm still working on a comprehensive post with everything, but in the meantime, please spread this post around.
#ceci speaks#nonsims#text#important#the curseforge issue#boycott stuff#curseforge boycott#i hate being right but what can i say#tumblr fucking up another thing by not understanding boycotts and reacting to any criticism with middle school hostility?#say it aint so!#god this message is so fucking slimy#maybe they read my posts lmfao#or maybe im just that spot on with shady ass parties bc damn#yall were on my ass hardcore werent ya but i told u so!!!!!#curseforge#overwolf#overwolf boycott
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How do you make your gifs?
Hello hello! I love talking about gifmaking, so thank you for giving me the chance to ramble.
Instead of a detailed step-by-step walkthrough, I will link tutorials and resources written by the wonderful Tumblr creators on here along the way. Everyone has their method and preferences, and there’s no right or wrong way to make gifs. I’m going to share techniques and resources I picked up along the way that work best for me—they may or may not be suited to your preferences, but I hope you’ll find some helpful things here.
(Warning: screenshot/image heavy)
USEFUL TUTORIALS AND RESOURCES
Here are some tutorials and resources that I found very useful when I got back into gifmaking:
Gifmaking tutorial using video timeline by @hope-mikaelson is identical to my own process
Gifmaking and coloring tutorial by @kitty-forman, whose process is very similar to my own
Giffing 101 by @cillianmurphy, an incredibly detailed tutorial that covers everything you need, including a step-by-step guide to using HandBrake
Gifmaking and coloring tutorial with 4K HDR footage by @sith-maul, another incredibly detailed tutorial with many useful tips
Gifmaking tutorial by @jeonwonwoo, incredibly comprehensive and covers so many aspects of gifmaking from basics, sharpening, captioning, and text effects
Gifmaking/PS tips and tricks by @payidaresque
Action pack by @anyataylorjoy, the Save action is especially a true life-saver
@usergif and @clubgif are amazing source blogs with many tutorials on gifmaking, color grading, and gif effects, can’t be thankful enough for the members for their work curating and creating for these blog!
TOOLS
Adobe Photoshop CS6 or higher, any version that supports video timeline. @completeresources has many links to download Photoshop, have a look!
Photopea is a free alternative to Photoshop, but it has a slightly different UI, check out these tutorials for gifmaking with Photopea
HandBrake or any other video encoder, especially if you’re working with .MKV formats
4Kvideodownloader for downloading from YouTube, Vimeo, Instagram, etc.
OBS Studio or any other similar screen capturing software. To prevent duplicate frames in gifs that prevents your gifs from looking smooth, try to match the recording frame rate (FPS) with the source.
IMPORTING FOOTAGE AND WORKING IN VIDEO TIMELINE
I work exclusively in video timeline instead of importing video frames to layers or loading files into stack. For videos that don’t require converting/encoding using HandBrake, especially ones that are already in .MP4 format, I tend to open the video directly on Photoshop, and trim the videos around directly.
As mentioned above, this gifmaking tutorial using video timeline is exactly how I make gifs. I find it more efficient, especially if you’re making multiple gifs from the same video/the same scene with little to no change in lighting conditions You can simply slide around sections of gifs you want to save, and they will all be the same length.
Another thing also covered in the tutorial linked is the ability to change video speed in video timeline mode. Right click on the video and set the speed before proceeding with cropping/resizing. This is also very useful when you’re making blended gifs where you need the footage to have the same length.
Slowing footage down.
As mentioned in this post, changing the FPS before slowing down the gif results in smoother gifs. Doubling the frame rate before slowing down your gifs usually yields the best result.
Speeding footage up.
I love using this to speed up slow motion B-rolls to make the speed slightly more natural. It will result in nice, smooth gifs:
(B-roll footage, normal broadcast speed)
(200% speed)
Subject won’t stay in frame?
Another feature of the video timeline mode. Keyframes are your best friend. This tutorial by @kangyeosaang covers everything you need to know about panning gifs. I use this technique regularly, it’s a life-saver.
COLORING
Here are some coloring tutorials I found very useful:
Coloring tutorial by @brawn-gp beloved, their coloring style is second to none
Mega coloring tutorial by @yenvengerberg, for stylized /vibrant coloring
Understanding Channel Mixer by @zoyanazyalensky
Coloring rainbow gifs by @steveroger, which delves deep into Channel Mixer
I tend to go for neutral-saturated coloring in general, especially for minimalist gifsets with no effects (blending/isolated coloring/overlays etc.), but the possibility is endless for stylized coloring. Here’s what my adjustment layers look like for the example gifs above.
The base footage for this Charles gifset is incredibly desaturated. I started with a Curves layer to bring contrast to the gif, as well as do some color-correcting to bring the base footage to a more neutral tone. To bump contrast, I also like to add a black and white Gradient Map layer with a Soft Light blending mode at 10%-30% opacity:
The Vibrance layer is then used to lift the saturation of the base footage, with the Selective Color, Hue/Saturation, and Channel Mixer layers to help remove the green/yellow tint to his skintone.
An underrated adjustment layer/preset in my opinion is the Color Lookup. You can layer in pre-loaded .LUT color grading presets to help speed up your process. For this gif, it’s simply a base preset Soft Warming Look to achieve a warm, pink-tinted tone.
In hindsight I feel like this gifset is too saturated, his skintone is skewing very red/pink, I could’ve bumped down the lightness of the reds with a Selective Color layer or a Hue/Saturation layer. Try to err on the side of neutral for skintones. Experiment with layer orders—there’s no right or wrong! Remember that each layer build up on the one before it.
The base footage of the Jalen gif is already quite nicely color-graded, but it’s still muddy and underexposed. As with the Charles gif, I started with a Curves layer to bring the gif to a better baseline contrast. Then I focus on brightening the gif with the Brightness/Contrast and Exposure layers.
The Hue/Saturation and Selective Color layers are to color-correct Jalen’s skin tone—it’s something I spend most of my time coloring gifs and focus a lot on, especially when color grading BIPOC skintones. Putting a Vibrance layer, upping the Vibrance and Saturation, and calling it a day would make his skintone skew very, very yellow/orange.
Focus on the reds and yellow for skintone, play around with the Saturation and Lightness sliders, use the Hue slider with caution.
It can be tricky to achieve the right skin tone when working with sports footage vs the higher quality, higher dynamic range footage of films or TV shows, but I try to keep it as close to the subject’s natural skintone as possible.
Here are some of tutorials with tips and tricks on coloring BIPOC:
How to fix orange-washed characters by @zoyanazyalensky
How to prevent pink-washing and yellow-washing by @jeonwonwoo
Coloring tutorial by @captain-hen
Changing lighting conditions?
Fret not—this is why I love working in video timeline. I’ll take this gifset as an example: it’s a deceptively difficult one to color. The footage is 720p and the sunlight shifts throughout the video, so matching across gifs was tricky.
My solution was to split the clips in sections with consistent lighting, and apply adjustment layers to the individual sections before applying general color grading layers on top of everything.
We can make use of the Fade Transition effect for sections where the lighting changes within the gif section we want to color.
(without vs with Fade on the Brightness/Contrast layer)
The difference is subtle in this example, but the brightness in the right gif is noticeably more consistent throughout. You can also add the Fade Transition effect to the beginning for a fade in, of course.
SHARPENING AND OPTIMIZING GIF QUALITY
This tutorial by @anya-chalotra covers everything you need to know about optimizing gifs for Tumblr.
Sharpening.
Sharpening is essential to making crisp gif images. Here’s another ask I answered re: my own sharpening settings and maximizing gif quality.
(base footage, unsharpened)
(color graded, unsharpened)
(color graded, sharpened)
The final gif is sharpened with Smart Sharpen, 500% at 0.3px and 10% at 10px (my standard sharpening settings).
Here are some tutorials and resources on sharpening:
Sharpening process by @anya-chalotra
Sharpening tutorial with added gaussian blur by @haleths
Sharpening action by @daenerys-stormborn
Size your gifs for Tumblr correctly.
This is essential: full width gifs are 540px wide.Two side-by-side gifs should be 268px wide. Here’s a handy post on gif size guide for Tumblr.
Incorrectly sizing your gifs will take away the quality of your gifs: undersizing your gifs will especially make them grainy, blurry, and /or pixelated, and won’t display correctly on many people’s desktop theme. Oversizing usually isn't as dramatic as undersizing, but it will make the gifset glitch when displayed, and the file size will be unnecessarily bloated.
Work with HD footage if possible.
Media fandoms (films/TV shows) are luckier than us in the sports trenches—we have to work with what we have. Broadcast footage is usually subpar: lacks contrast, pixelated, very desaturated, the list goes on. But it’s possible to still make high quality gifs from subpar footage. Here are a couple of tutorials to mask low source footage quality:
low quality video ➜ “HD” gifs tutorial by @nickoffermen
Sharpening low quality footage by @everglow-ing
(This gifset I made is from a 480p footage with horrendous lighting conditions and colors, and the end result is decent I’d say)
Save for Web (File > Export > Save for Web (Legacy) or Ctrl + Alt + Shift + S) settings.
I default to Adaptive + Diffusion but also use Adaptive + Pattern from time to time. Any combination of Adaptive or Selective + Diffusion or Pattern will give you a good result. In my experience some gifs will need the Selective color table for the colors to display correctly.
Here are my default settings:
SAVING AND EXPORTING FOR TUMBLR
Converting to frames and adjusting the gif speed.
If possible, avoid exporting your gif and reopening it to adjust the frame speed. I used to do this sometimes when I’m lazy, I have to admit, but this is where this Action as mentioned at the beginning comes in very handy. It converts all visible layer into smart object, then converts it back to frame animation.
Step-by-step:
1. Select all layers
2. Right click > Convert to Smart Object
3. Go to the Timeline menu (≡) > Convert Frames > Flatten Frames into Clips
4. Go to the Timeline menu again (≡) > Convert Frames > Convert to Frame Animation
5. In the same menu (≡), select Make Frames from Layers
6. Delete the first frame (it’s a duplicate) then set your frame speed
Now you can adjust the frame speed before exporting it (Save for Web).
Pay attention to the source framerate.
The frame delay of 0.05 s is usually the default to make gifs for TV shows and films, and it is preferred by most gifmakers. This stems from the fact that most movies and TV shows are 24 or 25 FPS. This may not be the case for all source videos: you might get 30 FPS footage, and sports or gaming footage can be 50 or 60 FPS. Gif speed also depends on the FPS of your original file. Play around with gif speed and see what feels most natural to you.
My rule of thumb is the frame delay Photoshop gives you + 0.01 s. For example, 50 FPS footage will give you 0.02 s frame delay (25 FPS gives you 0.04, 30 FPS gives you 0.03, etc.), so set it to 0.03 s. I usually err on the side of a faster frame delay for smoothness in in-game sports footage, anything else (interviews, press conferences, B-rolls) can get away with being slowed down. Again, experiment and see what you think looks best!
Keep gifs under the Tumblr file size limit (10 MB).
Cut down the number of frames. My gifs are usually around 60-70 frames for 540px full-width gifs, but depending on the coloring, sometimes you can get away with more. 268px gifs can go up to 200+ frames.
Crop your gifs. Remember to keep full-width gifs at 540px wide, but if necessary, you can crop the height. My go-to sizes are 540x540, 540x500, 540x450, and 540x400.
Amp up the contrast of your gifs. Flat colors like black cut down gif size.
The Grain filter or Noise filter, though beautiful for aesthetics or simply necessary sometimes to mask low source footage quality/pixelating, may bloat your gif size.
Play your gifs back before exporting.
Pay attention to duplicate frames or glitches, you might need to get rid of them!
Hope this is helpful! Don’t hesitate to send an Ask or DM if you need any help, I will happily answer all your questions and send over PSDs. (I’m also on Discord—just shoot me a message if you need my tag!) Happy creating :]
#tutorial#PS asks#gif tutorial#Photoshop tutorial#I guess this is more of a resource link dump than tutorial but. Hey. Why reinvent the wheel...#Sorry for the late answer I hope you see this Anon :]#completeresources#allresources#userxoames#userbarbi#usernrzr
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you seem to be reputable source to ask this and i haven't found a walkthrough anywhere else, do you know how to trigger the boat scene where gale has already decided not to go after the crown? like where he says you'll always be enough for him.
i've tried so many combinations and can't figure it out! sorry if you've already posted this
thank you for your message!
you have to sway gale away from the crown as best you can over the course of act 2 and 3, and then follow a certain chain of events to set the correct flags to trigger the alternate boat scene.
i've reliably managed to trigger it in act 3 with the following steps:
1: get the annals of karsus from sorcerous sundries
2: don't give gale the annals of karsus right away when he asks for the book
3: go to camp, but not as a long rest -> pick the go to camp option instead
4: speak to elminster and initiate his conversation (he should have a ! over his head and you can initiate the next step in progressing gale's act 3 quest, however: this is sometimes bugged if you haven't unlocked the elfsong tavern yet as a camp space, i.e. elminster will turn up, have a ! over his head, but his dialogue doesn't trigger, essentially soft-locking the quest)
5: go to the stormshore tabernacle to progress the quest
6: pick the option that encourages gale to seek mystra's forgiveness -> Player: Seek her forgiveness, Gale. It might be your only hope of curing the orb.
7: do a long rest
8: the alternate boat scene should trigger with gale at this point (he should be at camp with a ! to show he's ready to speak to the player)
i'll also share a screenshot of the conversation from the files (CAMP_Gale_CRD_ROM_BeMyGod) and highlight which flags are important:
alternate boat scene dialogue
Gale: Ah. You're still talking to me then?ORI_Gale_Knows_KarsiteWeave, LOW_StormshoreTabernacle_State_GaleSeeksForgiveness Gale: I wouldn't blame you for giving me a wide berth. I thought the orb's ever-present censure had tamed my wilder ambition, but that wasn't the case. Gale: I needed Mystra's intervention. She offered me a path to redemption at last, and it might yet leave my mind and body intact. Gale: Please - continue to believe in me. I want to show you the wizard I am capable of being, rather than the poor excuse for a man who's kept you company thus far. - Player (Option 1): I believe in you Gale. Always have, always will. ['Gale 10'] Gale: That's all I ever need to hear. - Player (Option 2): You're willing to give up the chance of unlimited power. I'd say your ambition is under control. Gale: If that's true, it's thanks to you, and the trust you show in me at every turn of this strange adventure of ours. - Player (Option 3): I hope so, because honestly you have been a poor man recently. Especially on the romance front... Gale: I'm sorry. It's not easy living for more than just yourself, when for so long just staying alive was accomplishment enough. - Player (Option 4): You're more to me than magic, Gale. ['Gale 10'] Gale: You stole the words from my mouth. - Gale: I know what I must do. The Crown belongs under Mystra's stewardship, not mine, and I will ensure she gets it. Gale: That means there'll be no permanent place in the heavens for us. But we could still visit. - Player (Option 1): Close your eyes. Gale: Astra navigabimus. - Gale: Few mortals ever glimpse what you're about to see. But don't be alarmed - I'm here with you. Now... open your eyes. Gale: Quite the view, isn't it? The Outer Planes are a place of profound, sometimes overwhelming possibility. Gale: I conjured this illusion often during my confinement in Waterdeep. An escape for the mind, where there was none for the body. Gale: It was easier to stare at the celestial abyss than recognise the emptiness within myself. Easier to pretend my destiny lay among such stars, than work to salvage a life on solid ground. You changed all that. Gale: You see me as I am, and do not find me wanting. With these stars as my witness, I swear - you will always be enough for me. ORI_Gale_State_RejectedBeMyGodProposal ['Gale 10']
as you can see, both the ORI_Gale_Knows_KarsiteWeave (mystra reveals this knowledge to gale at the stormshore tabernacle) and the LOW_StormshoreTabernacle_State_GaleSeeksForgiveness (set by picking the seek her forgiveness option during the stormshore tabernacle scene with the protag, gale and mystra) flags are integral here.
if you want to watch the alternate boat scene, i posted a video of it here.
i hope this was helpful to you! 🖤
#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#gale x tav#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate 3#ch: gale dekarios#vg: baldur's gate 3#series: baldur's gate#text: asks#meta: mybg3
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@disastertourwaterdeepedition
Sorry for the weird fucking post but like tumblr straight up ate your ask?? I had to search and screenshot from my email??
Its like super fine I love big rants and big feelings (especially about the blorbo of the month).
Whoa buddy if you wanna talk about a rant. This got so long I'm putting it under a read more.
I'm not sure any of this is above board conscious thought process. When he looks to Orym, when he thinks about how he feels about Orym, I think Dorian, king of compartmentalizing, gets a rush of all three of the things in the post. He gets a little too lost in thought looking at the way Orym's hair now tries to curl against his ear or how well tailored the armor is to his body, he first gets hit with the Will guilt. Then he thinks about "ohmygodtheresawaron" and he'd shovel all of that down. Because its not time to think about Orym and him. But he knows by the way Orym watches him "sleep". He knows by the way Orym refused to be princess carried in Aeror. (Seriously dude Dorian princess carries everyone. It would have been less suspicious if you let it happen). He knows because Orym didn't see his husband when they were in Zephrah. But when he dares himself to actually think about a possible future together, he uses the big three to shove it down. And no, he has no clue that Orym thinks he doesn't return his feelings. (Wow you're right. Pronouns are hard)
Lol to finally answer your question: I'm not sure! Because the thing is! Orym has gone down twice in a battle with Dorian there! And honestly if Orym being on death's door doesn't make either of them confess, i'm not sure what will! (thats a lie I do have an idea). But like Orym went to the moon and back and almost died on the moon and all the count communicate to Dorian was "I miss you"!! Orym nearly died twice in one battle and he didn't think to give Dorian a sloppy, "If I die again I want to have kissed you once" kiss before going in for another round of getting hacked on. Dorian watched him go down and had to bring him back from death's door (one failed save scared the shit out of me) and he didn't think to give Orym a "We need you, I need you" kiss.
My unfortunate thought process, which I can't decide if I want it to come true or not, is that Dorian has to get hurt. Like when I say hurt I fucking mean it. Taken down in a round or two, two failed death saves, hurt. Because then Orym will have to face losing Dorian again. Face losing the man he loves, again. He pours a healing potion into Dorian's mouth because warlocks don't have a single healing spell. (Just checked). Orym feels so helpless in saving Dorian, because a healing potion isn't nearly enough to keep him up. He starts to cry over Dorian's (now conscious) body. He whispers between sobs "Not again, not again. Dorian you can't leave me. I love you, please, I never got to tell you, please stay alive." and Dorian, having heard all of that, reaches up to cup Orym's cheek and says. "Alright, just for you though."
Or something like that.
As much as I would love for them to be adults and just talk to each other. I know thats not going to happen. (Please, Robbie, Liam, prove me wrong.) So I think major tragedy will be the reason they confess to each other. Because they're idiots in love with a lot of weight on their shoulders.
#sleep drunk stage door#orym of the air ashari#dorian storm#dorym#written before watching 106#these two are going to be the death of me#i was thinking about DORIAN DYING all the way home from work#almost cried a few times#but like the thing is with these two idiots is that theyre both hell insecure#maybe not with each other in a way that makes them avoid each other. but orym defo does not think he deserves dorian#in whatever way you want to take that the answer is yes for all of it.#and dorian is insecure in the way that i dont know if he expects orym to get over will for him#he doesnt doubt that orym loves him. and he'd never blame him for still loving will. but dorian doesnt think hes worthy enough.#or that hes worth the effort of moving on#does any of this make sense? I was up too early and worked hard today#so sorry if this is a rambling mess.#i feel like i didn't answer your question i filled out a writing prompt.#my b#i like hearing myself talk if you couldnt tell#certified yapper
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blonde or brown?
i woke up from my ill-advised late afternoon nap to see the discord girlies were talking about buck's hair colour and insisting it's brown. so i had to set the record straight
first things first: to judge the true colour of your hair, it needs to be dry and free from product (unless it dries with your hair like certain oils and serums, but let's not get into that right now) and you need to look at it under a light - natural light preferably, but artificial will do trick. and obviously, it needs to be virgin hair that's not been dyed.
(yes, some charts go up to 11 and 12, but let's stay away from bleach-blonde shades for the purposes of this post, yes?)
so i'm trying to find pictures of oliver stark in a setting with good lighting to match his level with the chart above
not sure what year this is from, google credits "2019 Arnold Jerocki" (it does look like s2-s3 buck?)
but this one's definitely recent (7x04 which was filmed in 2024!)
and the most recent BTS of oliver from that video abc posted on instagram (i took a screenshot from this gifset by @rylivers)
so
first photo (from 2019) looks like a level 8: blonde
second photo i would say is level 7: medium blonde. (at most it's level 6: dark blonde)
third photoset: this one i'm including to show the difference where the sun is hitting the hair vs when it's not. overall it looks like his current hair is at the 6-7 level.
moving on...
"maybe buck had blonde hair in s1-2 but then it got darker so he's brunet now" is that it? or...
is it possible that oliver has been dyeing his hair for some time to hide greys? they're visible in this (zoomed in) pic (from his instagram)
i cant find any other photo where you can see the greys, so i'm inclined to believe the hair is being dyed to cover it. and not sure if this is a personal choice or something the hair&makeup department are instructed to do to keep him looking young (because god forbid a 32 year old has greys, i guess?! welcome to TV land). also, i'm not a professional colourist, but they may have gone a level or two darker to cover the greys.
in conclusion,
oliver's - and therefore buck's - natural hair would be classed as blond. thank you for coming to my ted talk.
PS. before anyone @'s me: yeah, yeah, ginger undertones, i hear you. here, i'm mentioning it as acknowledgment. i have nothing else to say on that because it's related to tint, not level. cheers.
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Apologies for the ask about the 🍉 thing.
If you have a story to say you should say it, the group who made the document thought it was important to make it public. Maybe you can reach out to them if you need help. It’s never too late to share your story if you believe the person deserves to be called out.
She’s already known for lying. And she never addressed a lot of the things in the document. Like those multiple false grooming allegations. Just remember that there’s no backing out once you have it out to the public. Once on the internet always on the internet.
Hope you’re ok. Don’t be intimidated because of fans. They don’t know what you’ve gone through. You have a support group who already set the ground for you. Good luck with what you choose.
Not specifically replying to this ask but Im going to use this to say a bit of what I need to say. Follow up to my last post, Mel has made it clear that she is not going to talk to me, one of her friends dmed me (one of the two I mentioned prior) trying to get me to vc with all 3 of them to get "closure" and talk about things, this was only prompted by the fact I am now speaking out about this (clearly just trying to save face), I stayed silent for nearly 3 months giving her time to come and talk to me and it was honestly the last nail in the coffin for her to clearly only give a shit now that I'm speaking about it. So I'm done, I'm not going to keep any of her shit to myself anymore, I know I shouldn't have been keeping them to myself to begin with and I completely accept anyone who is upset at me for not speaking up sooner. Quickly, I will say that some of this I cannot provide solid proof for, you will all have to take some of this with a side of salt / use context to come to your own conclusions, but I still think its important to mention because I know what I saw and experienced, It is up to you whether you believe what I have to say or not Aswell, Some of this obviously could be wrong as she has refused to clear things up privately but I believe them to be true since I experienced what I experienced :/. I do not condone Harassment, witch-hunting, threats, attack anyone involved, or anything else of the sort You obviously may be honest about your feelings on the matter but have your morals about you when doing so. People that did not consent to being mentioned here will be censored when possible I will be reffering to Quartelz as Mel in this, just felt I'd clarify TW: S/A, Coercion, Grooming(?), General Toxicity, etc.
Firstly, To everyone who supports Mel after the google doc she "made" I've got some unfortunate news to share, She did not write that doc. Mel had quite a few of her friends at the time essentially write the entire document for her, I was one of those people. To clarify, we were not forced but since we all wanted the best for her and for her to be able to move on from it all so we all helped her. The apologies ESPECIALLY she did not write nor mean, She has stated many times to me personally that everyone did not deserve an apology, I will provide some screenshots backing up these claims below Others writing the doc/Proof I can edit the original doc (the public document was moved into a fresh file because I suggested it)
Proof of Mel being an unapologetic asshole about the whole thing (sorry for the rudeness) Her saying "how to write an apology I don't mean" which Is pretty self explanatory, Included more context of the convo so she cant scream at me for not, AS you can see I was very insistent on her writing the apology because I did think they all deserved one, aswell me saying "I'd write it for her but that'd "I would literally write the apology for u but that'd be bad" Which is bad on my end 100% especially because I went through with that, I accept full responsibility for that and I am sorry, you all deserved better
More apology stuff bruhh
(so sorry archi I know you are mentioned here alot but I need you for proof, If anyone attacks you I am so so sorry) Admitting the apology wasn't written by her directly + re-stating she didn't mean the apology a million times and not taking any accountability
Bonus SS of talking with one of her friends at the time about our frustrations of helping her with the doc only for her not to work on it I think that's enough proof she didn't mean a lick of that doc and didn't even write it herself, I do NOT have proof that I specifically wrote the apologies but before the doc was sent out to the public I practically rewrote entire areas to make her sound more genuine aswell fixed the entire thing up, then I had her go over it and edit it to "sound like her" Time for the next part which is one of the more serious topics within this whole thing, I initially was NOT going to bring this to the public or mention it at all since its fairly private but after thinking on it really hard ,and the fact this will never have any closure Clover and I have decided to let you all know about it, I am sure she's going to be quite upset this is public now but she shouldn't have done any of it in the first place. TW:// S/A and Coercion I don't really know how to approach talking about this but around the 30th of march 2023 (before and after) Clover, Mel, And I had all gotten pretty close as friends, This eventually evolved into us having sexual interactions with each other as a group twice. At the time we had all had lengthy conversations making sure everyone was ok with it, the whole consent protocol and such. Edit: for the record, our age differences at the time were me: 16 (10/16/2006) Clover: 17 (3/03/2006) Mel: 17 (8/30/2005) This is relevant because a while back (I am not sure when) Mel had admitted to me one day that she had only slept with Clover to do things with me. I know for a fact she will deny this. This obviously horrified me and clover both because we were under the impression it was a mutual thing between all of us, I'm sure Clover feels violated, used, and a sleuth of other things, I feel absolutely terrible about the entire thing because I was the one who had helped her feel comfortable with the whole thing in the first place and convinced her it was something mutual, and to have Mel later on admit it was not and she just wanted an excuse to do shit with me is absolutely disgusting. Clover and I are both extremely damaged from this and neither of us ever got an apology for this and probably never will, not one that she means at least, shes already proven she doesn't feel remorse for anything she does. You'd think the person that allegedly got assaulted herself and had dealt with homewrecking related things herself wouldn't do something like this but here we are. (Just clarification this was a 3 way, sorry to have to blatantly state it but I didn't want any confusion. Aswell I'd like to state for the record that the interactions happened twice total) I will not be sharing proof of any of this as it would include sharing sensitive information/conversations I don't think any of us would be comfortable being public, You may take this as you will but Clover and I both are living proof of this happening and I just hope you'll take our word for this one as it was already obvious Mel had a thing for me to literally everyone around us, I genuinely do not think I need proof to prove that part alone. There was another section I was going to add explaining another situation but I do not have enough proof gathered to speak on it at the moment so I'll keep it at these two for now. I initially wasn't going to make a big post like this but I wanted to get the stuff I know 100% out there (aswell wanted to get some of the worst out of the way :/) There is absolutely MORE I could/want to talk about but I simply do not have the context/proof to make a proper statement on it at the moment, maybe in the future I will.
also, if any of ya'll need more proof of stuff I CAN dig but I think I got it all covered? That's it for now, She's either going to deny everything, have her friends to defend her, flee the internet, or retaliate. Have a good day ya'll, I am done staying quiet for her also I'm so so sorry if this isn't written well in certain parts, I don't really know how to make stuff like this
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Fics for Gaza
Here I am taking the plunge. I'm a small blog but fast writer even when it comes to my slower times. So might as well put it to good use.
Planning on joining this fundraiser run by @ficsforgaza and help make everyone happy with some content in the process. Here is my plan of action for my wip and donation costs.
To participate- please make a donation to a vetted fundraiser and send a screenshot/proof of your donation to me in a DM. PLEASE MAKES SURE TO CENSOR ALL YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION. (internet safety and all that jazz). In the message also let me know what fic you are donating to and I will adjust expected word counts. These screenshots are merely for keeping things as honest as possible and will be shared with @ficsforgaza
-I obviously will not be taking the money myself. Please send it to one of the vetted fundraisers mentioned in the link below.
$5.00 per 800 words or a full drabble series installment
Link to vetted places to donate here! More fundraisers here!
As soon as 50% of any of the fics are sponsored I will automatically start on them.
Drabble series-
Sweet and Sour- Ren Kaji x Fem Reader Drabble Series
Your the new girl in the city. You are tough, sassy, but don't know a lick about the gangs, and if your honest you couldn't care less. But something about Ren Kaji catches your eye. He may snap and bark like a feral dog, but you can see through it and he knows it too. Slowly, you become his sanctuary even though you are the one person he's most afraid won't accept him. And he thought he was past all that. (NSFW)
5.00 for full installment
Read Part One here!
False Immunity- Hiei x Fem Reader Drabble Series
Where Hiei learns the ins and out of human courtship. (NSFW)
Find Part One-Six on my masterlist here! 5.00 for full installment
Multichap Fics-
Flawed Hope- Astarion x OC (BG3)
Brit was a paralegal, someone who had a normal life and enjoyed what she did for the most part. Yet, the only true excitement she felt lately was when she played Baldur's Gate Three. A simple video game brought her more joy than her friends or fleeting romances. One night as depression crushes her she wishes to live one day in BG3. Her wish is granted, however the world of BG3 needs her far longer than her wish had originally intended. And the worst part? She does not get along with her favorite vampire in the slightest. (NSFW)
Read the first four chaps here! WC: 1961/4000
Falling for Frogs- Sebastian x Fem Reader (SDV)
You are game developer about to make their debut into the market. The world you are about to venture into isn't exactly friendly to those of the feminine persuasion and as such you have flown under the radar using a masculine alias online. After a complete mental break down at a very important convention in Zuzu you realize you need to get away from the city for a bit so you can finish your game. Your best friend who runs a farm in Stardew Valley invites you to come stay with her. However as you stay there and get to know the locals, you realize the cute boy you saw at the con is her neighbor. What's even worse is he remembers you and just to add salt to the wound, he's one of your Kickstarters. (NSFW) WC: 309/3000
Read the first three chaps here!
The Unseen and Those Forgotten- Dabi x Fem Reader (BNHA)
The age of the Greek gods is long past. Dabi is one of the few left, his name in the ancient days had been Hades. Now he skulks among the humans, as a deity at half strength. With the old gods dying, the new ones have taken control of the humans’ feeble minds. There is a storm on the horizon though, quite literally, the end of days is nipping at mortality’s heels and the key to unlocking Kronos’s resting place, the only creature strong enough to put a stop to the apocalypse, is you. Sadly you have no idea what part you will play, after all, you are just an office worker who has an affinity for plants.... WC: 0/2000
Find the first three chaps on my masterlist here!
The Hellebore Rift- Hayato Suo x Fem Reader (Wind Breaker)
The town of Makochi has changed and so have all the gangs within it. Gone are the days of allies and rival schools. Gone are the days of delinquents battling for top spots and coming home with happy smiles from good fist fights. Now the world has been ripped apart by rifts that tear the very dimensions in two, spewing forth gigantic blood-thirsty monsters. It has forced the gangs to protect only their parts of town from everyone. Even the civilians, even those they once called friends. With those rifts and monsters, humans were gifted with powers, yet everything good always comes with a fall out. You are one of those few, blessed with the ability to Guide, to save those Espers from the toxicity that their own powers created within themselves when they protect their parts of town. You live in a small section Makochi outside any of the gangs control with a scant few Espers to call your own… or well you did until the day Hayato Suo found you. WC 313/2000
(Chapter one just started)
Oneshots-
Dog Park with Megumi (no title yet)- You don't have dogs but you find yourself at the dog park everyday because you can't have pets. That's where you meet Megumi Fushiguro (NSFW)WC: 0/15000
A Bouquet of Deadly Thorns- Hanahaki Soulmate Gojo x Fem Reader
The world now is riddled with the phenomenon known as soulmates. You don't know yours but before you can even think about finding them, you must get rid of your growing feelings for Satoru Gojo, the only problem is they've grown suffocating and you've started coughing up blood and flower petals. (NSFW) WC: 3098/8000
Tetsuro Kuroo bar night (no title yet)- The first night you meet Kuroo he was celebrating with his friends who'd just won their volley ball game. You were drinking away your sorrows yet again from another shitty date. Fate had a funny way of making you forget things when he gets dared to make a move on you. (NSFW) WC: 0/10,000
My name in your mouth- Professional Poker Player!Suo Hayato x CardShark Fem!Reader Suo Hayato is well known in the gambling circuit, he strikes fear in all his opponents. Terrified that they will lose all the winnings and perhaps even worse to him. You however are a dark horse, a rising star lurking in the shadows among the tables, and you have the arrogance to back it up. You take Suo on and surprise him in more ways then one. But he's desperate to wrest back control from you and the rising sexual tension between the two of you gives him the perfect excuse. (NSFW) WC: 0/7000
Single Drabbles- 5.00 for a full drabble
Jo Togame festival day (sfw) - Link
Jo Togame the baths (NSFW) - Link
Nobara/fem! reader (jjk) (NSFW) shopping day, in the dressing room
Himuro tatsuya/male! reader (knb) (NSFW) pining, street ball rivals
Seishiro Nagi/gn!reader (blue lock) (SPICEY (not full nsfw)) comfort, lazy day, reuniting after long distance for a while
Sebastain/fem! reader (SDV) (nsfw) phone sex
Astarion/male!reader (BG3) (NSFW) dry humping, semi public sex Suo Hayato/fem!reader (wind breaker)(NSFW) overstimulation
#fics for gaza#wind breaker#bnha#mha#jjk#yyh#sdv#sebastian x reader#togame jo x reader#ren kaji x reader#haikyuu!!#kuroko x reader#bg3#dabi x reader#astarion x oc#hiei x reader#blue lock#knb#himuro tatsuya x reader#seishiro nagi x reader#nobara kugisaki x reader
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Okay I need to vent. This morning I saw this on my fyp:
(btw I'm choosing not to reblog the original post and instead just post screenshots because this is definitely a rant and since the creator and I clearly have different opinions, so I decided it's just better to leave them out of this)
Anyways, I saw this and I got pissed. Very very pissed. And so I spent 2 and a half hours writing a whole three page essay explaining everything wrong with this.
So here it is. (:
First of all, the Darkling does every single thing listed here for Nikolai, excluding cutting people’s fingers off, but he does commit mass murder, which I personally consider to be worse than cutting off someone’s fingers.
Anyways, let’s first just address Nikolai’s reasons for doing each of these things and then the Darkling’s reasons for doing the same things.
Cutting the fingers off a man: Nikolai was a teenager who wanted to help his incredibly war torn country. He felt helpless, and even once he became a privateer, a lot of people still disrespected him because of his age, so he proved his ruthlessness by injuring one person, so he could help save his entire country.
Usurping the throne: First of all, Nikolai was second in line to the throne, and after Vasily died, he would’ve been first. Also, the current king was an ignorant rapist who let the rest of the country go to waste to fuel his own luxuries. Nikolai wanted to rescue his country from war and a ruler that was doing nothing to stop hundreds of people (many of them kids) from dying in unnecessary battles.
Lying to Alina/hiding information from her: All Nikolai did was hide his identity from Alina to get her safely away from the Darkling who had just kidnapped her for the second time in less than a year. Kissed her without her consent: Okay, let’s just preface this by saying Malina was what got me hyperfixated on the Grishaverse, so seeing Nikolai kiss Alina did upset me, but he did it spread hope to the Ravkan villagers. They were also already spreading around a fake engagement, so while it was wrong, it wasn’t like he was trying to manipulate her. Nikolai was just trying to make their marriage more believable. (I’d also like to address a scene later in the book where Alina actually wants Nikolai to kiss her, and he says no, knowing that she just wants a distraction and isn’t really in love with him).
And now for why the Darkling did all the same things.
Trying to usurp the throne: The Darkling hates the king, but not because he’s a terrible person, but because he’s ignorant and the Darkling knows he could be using the Fold to expand Ravka’s power. The Darkling usurps the throne so he can try and take over the country, not because he wants to save it.
Lying to Alina/hiding information from her: Unlike Nikolai, he wasn’t trying to protect her. The Darkling lied to Alina so she would believe that 1) he was in love with her and 2) he wanted to save Ravka. We know this isn’t true. When Nikolai lies, he does it to protect Alina, but when the Darkling lies he does it to manipulate her.
Kissed Alina without her consent: The Darkling tried to convince Alina he was in love with her so she would be easier to manipulate. Alina even says she doesn’t know how he feels about her, and that she doesn’t believe he loves her, but that she wants to be wanted by him.
And now for everything else the Darkling does:
Mass murder: He destroyed an entire town just to prove a point.
“Gifting” Genya to the Lantsovs, and then allowing her to be continually raped by them
for years. More than anything else, I feel like this proves just how terrible he is.
Killing his own mother: No explanation needed, that’s just awful.
Threatening to kill Mal to make sure Alina stays in line. He enslaved Alina. He put an unremovable collar around her neck that forced her to do whatever he wanted, and then promised to kill her boyfriend just in case that wasn’t enough.
Using kids as bargaining chips. Using grown people is bad enough, but kids. Sure, they’re Grisha, but they aren’t strong enough to fight back, especially after seeing their captor kill Ana Kuya, who helped care for them while they were in hiding. (Also just felt like adding that Nina was one of the students who he used as a bargaining chip. That’s honestly pretty unimportant, but if you needed another reason to hate him.)
Killing Alina’s mother figure: Again, he did this just to prove a point. He wanted to show Alina that he could hurt the people she cared about, and that was his only incentive.
So that the first 75% of my rant, but I also made the mistake of looking at the comments on that post and added a whole extra page responding to those.
Saying that the same thing can be applied to Kaz is so fucking disrespectful. Kaz is a traumatized teen. Is he violent? Yes. But he only hurts people who have hurt him, his friends, or other innocent people. Oomen nearly killed Inej, as well as the other crows, so Kaz hurt him because he cared about his friends and was mad that they were almost killed. When the Darkling kills people, it’s out of greed for power and the fact that he knows it’ll get a rise out of Alina.
And then this. Kaz calls Inej an investment because he values her. She said four words to him and chose to pay off her indenture. She ended up being not only an incredible spy, but an incredible friend as well. Kaz didn’t need to pay off her indenture, but he did because despite everything terrible that he does, he’s still a genuinely good person, and didn’t want to see a woman being exploited the way she was. An investment is something you value, which is why Kaz calls her one.
Also, Kaz makes a big point of Inej not belonging to anyone. He didn’t force her to get the Dregs tattoo, because he didn’t “want to be the one to mark her again.” He recognized that she was an independent person, and by not making her have the tattoo, he was giving her the freedom to leave Ketterdam when her indenture was paid off. Also, when Inej tells Kaz she wants to leave Ketterdam, he literally buys her a boat so she can leave. That’s not how you treat your property.
And as for the Darkling, he used Alina’s power to start a civil war. What he does is beyond redemption. The Darkling exploits and manipulates women. He abuses and assaults them to reach his own goals, most of which involve destroying the rest of the world so that Ravka stays in power. Comparing him to two kids who just do what they have to to survive is so disrespectful, and clearly you misunderstood the messages of the books if you think that Kaz and Nikolai are the same as the Darkling.
So that's my little anti-Darkling rant. I've already tortured my frienda with this, so if they didn't think I was insane before, they do now lol.
#anti darkling#darkling slander#grishaverse#shadow and bone#six of crows#king of scars#save shadow and bone
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Tips for not getting stressed out from writing, coming to you live from someone who has done this for 18 years and got a degree in it:
- remember that you write for fun. This is the big one. You write because on some level you enjoy it. Sometimes you gotta lasso that abd reel it into your heart and hold it there so it stays.
- keep compliments close at hand. And i do mean this literally. I print out AO3 comments and friends compliments and keep them in a jar to pull them out at random when I need a little brain boost. I keep a folder of screenshots of nice things people have said on my pc.
- accept that not every day is going to work out. Even the best authors have days where the words wont work, days where they wont flow at all. Its okay to take a step back and not worry about it. Refer to my first tip: youre doing this for fun, you dont have to force yourself
- get silly with it. If youre really having a day where you want to write and its not working and its frustrating you but you cant put it down it is TIME for the sillies. Set a tiner. 5, 10 minutes. Write whatever comes to your brain. Fully turn your editor off. I get sentences like "And the doh turned blue and whacked rhe tennis ball with its tail into the bridge". Utter nonsense. It helps to get the wiggles out
- handwriting can also be helpful. I keep several journals, and glitter pens, and fun markers - sometimes doing the task physically instead of digitally helps to get the wriggles out.
- sometimes you have to accept an idea is not working. It takes experience to figure out when this is, but youll get there. Come at ideas from different angles, back out entirely and rewrite older scenes to make new scenes work.
I hope these help you!!!
thankyouuu for sharing these!!! <3
it's true that the positive comments are always a great motivation. maybe i need to start a collection for myself. indulge a little. (shut up the eternally dissatisfied part of my brain-)
i'm honestly struggling to find a balance between knowing i write for fun, and the pressure of it. (they're happening simultaneously, sometimes seemingly too closely intertwined.) but maybe one has more weight than the other, and i have to realise that only one of those should really hold any priority.
i'm very tired now, but i'll be rereading all these again later and letting them settle in gently. thank youu
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