#But I need to stay true to the screenshot

[toriaanin]

Slingshot Loosed

This is a true (from my perspective) account of my recent interaction with Tif. I encourage you to read to the bottom of this post because I make a demand of Tifaine, supported with a statement of action should the demand not be taken seriously. It's a long blog post.

Some of you may remember that back in my December 23rd post "Peace before..." I promised to share a story that could quite possibly ruffle someone's feathers. A story that pits a Goliath in our Lukola/Jakola world with little ol' David-esk me. Until now, I haven't used my slingshot to strike at the giant. I certainly planned on doing so right away (Dec 23rd, in fact), but decided to sit with everything through the holidays because who wants to go into battle when Joy's North Star is shinning in the night sky?

The easiest place to begin is at the almost beginning

Two weeks ago tonight (Friday, December 20th), I was gifted with some "fun" cyber bullying and intimidation at the hands of Tif. Oh... and there was also some lovely bashing by her and her Minions that night on her Discord.

That's the almost beginning. The actual beginning was me. Yes I started this fine mess by sticking my tongue into my own cheek and calling a hypocrite a hypocrite in an IG story. Not cool on my part, and not my usual style. I'm a "working in the background to mobilize the forces" type; not a "shout across the playground and shake my fist" kinda Chickie.

So what exactly did you do, Tori and why?

Why. Like you all, I'm sick and tired of the Jakeholes... the Minions who live and speculate in Tif's discord chat, with Tif fully engaged in, feeding and encouraging the delulu-ness. Many of you know that I've moved my Lukola live streams off of TikTok because over there, the Minions would descend and cause mayhem. Those participating in chat didn't deserve the crap the Jakolas' would drop! It is my opinion (shocker) that the Jakolas should stay on their Arctic Ocean and let us Lukolas enjoy our Caribbean Sea. In my lives I'd encourage everyone to bask in our sunshine while ignoring side-characters and Jakolas. In my chat groups we collectively did the same. Yet the Jakolas continued to troll, tag Nicola in "N loves her boyfriend J!" type posts (tags she removes - tags she no longer allows, btw!), and make stupid comments on her friends' posts. Poor Louisa spent hours cleaning up the comments after sharing her 2024 photos!

Why continued. A couple weeks ago a screenshot from Tif's discord chat came to my attention. In that chat, Tif laughed at herself for playing both sides of the fandom. She said something like "Here I am saying cute things to you Jakolas, only for me to go over and say cute things to the Lukolas". I was furious that she could be so cavalier in her hypocrisy and that no one called her out for it! Everyone I know grumbles about how two-faced she is in the fandom; about how she has this unwitting group of followers who need to learn (if they didn't suspect already) who she is and how she is playing them. Like a fiddle.

What. Obviously I wasn't able to take my own advise to ignore her. I used that screenshot, added my own thoughts on the image encouraging people to not follow hypocrites, and posted it to my IG stories. Not my greatest moment.

Do I regret posting that image to my story? As a method of trying to influence and change a mindset in the fandom about her role in the divisions in our fandom; yes. And for that I extend an apology to Tif. Like I said, I prefer to work within the collective openly and honestly, sharing thoughts and opinions - making clear that they are MY thoughts, shared as information for others to make an informed opinion of their own. Throwing stones isn't useful, really. The proof is here, in this post.

Do I regret my why? Absolutely not! Tif is a hypocrite and everyone should be talking about it and unfollowing all of her platforms. This is definitely a counterproductive statement after my simple apology above. Oh well.

Needless to say, I wasn't all that surprised when Tif responded. I expected her to. What I was surprised about, however, was the gaslighting and lies she told. And that's why I'm here now, NOT working in the background within the collective... why I've decided to shout in the playground and shake my fist... why I've decided to tuck a stone into my slingshot, stand ready like David, swing that piece of leather, release the stone, and see if I can bruise Goliath enough that she'll provide me with the apology I deserve.

Below you'll find the set of IG stories that Tif posted on that Friday night, two weeks ago, along with commentary where appropriate.

On the right is my IG story post. Please note that the white block sentence at the top starting "Me..." is what Tif added. She starts her "story" by gaslighting her IG followers saying that the comment I circled (pink) is really her "being happy for Nicola and her relationship" while also saying cute things on the Lukola channel. Sure. Whatevs. But do the Lukola channel members know you're over in the Jakola chat making fun of being cute in both places, like a hypocrite? Probably not.

The next three images go together, starting with Tif circling my "don't follow fakes & hypocrites":

In order to paint me as a hypocrite, Tif finds that waaaaayyyyy back when I first started my TikToc account, in the middle of August, I followed her account. She's dredging up a follow from 4 months ago as proof that I'm a hypocrite because I follow her, one of the most popular creators (at the time) in the fandom... the person who's edits likely motivated me to even create a dreaded TT account just so that I could see them. You too? I bet so!! I've heard from many people who tell me they joined TT for edits from creators like her. And the image to the right? That's her emphasizing the "follow back" that TT automatically includes with every follow... as though I specifically ASKED her to follow me. How stupid does she think her followers are if THIS bit of gaslighting works on them?! Don't answer that in case you fell for it.

"So embarassing" Tif says.

For her perhaps. She's the gaslighting fool, and she's been caught.

Now the most important part of her stories... THE LIE

Above she states, and I quote:

...this is coming from a lady who admitted to be at the origin of a very mocky troll account about Jake.

"Admitted to"; "origin of"; "troll account about Jake".

NO. I AM NOT the creator of, or at the origin of, ANY mocky troll account about Jake. About anyone for that matter!

Just writing about this bold ass lie brings tears of anger to my eyes. Who the fuck does this woman think she is that she can blast this kind of shit all over her hugely followed IG account and not be held accountable?! A fucking hypocrite, troll, fake, cyber bully... that's who!

Who's exposing the "nonsense" now?!

Tif finishes off her harassment of me in her IG stories with the following:

This liar, this bully, says she doesn't encourage hate. Right. I have Discord screenshots that say differently. Check out this one posted in response to Tif (poster's name is blocked... for now):

Tif says not to come to her defense... but that's what her followers do, and she seems to love and crave the attention. She comes into her IG stories and laments about how everyone beats up on her, and her Minions all respond: "We love you Tif!" "They're all horrible, Tif!" And she eats up that underserved devotion like a fucking emotional vampire.

In her last story post she says all the reasons you should unfollow her. Like a typical manipulator well versed in gaslighting, she sounds very reasonable. I could almost believe her if I didn't already know that she lied about me in her IG stories, that she didn't herself say - in her own writing and words - that she plays both sides all cutsie-like, that she didn't gaslight everyone by suggesting that I requested a follow from her when TT does that automatically with every follow one receives. She recommends that those of us who feel the way I do should unfollow her. That is the most reasonable thing I've seen or heard her say, ever!

Where does that leave us? Here:

Tifaine. You owe me an apology for the lie you told about me. A loud one in your Discord. A loud one in your IG stories. Immediately. You must make haste!

If you don't offer that apology I will do everything in my power to connect with agents of Nicola and Luke to advise them that you've used their images - as evidenced above - to bully and intimidate on social media. It won't necessarily be easy for me to do, but believe me I'll make it happen! You don't deserve to share their images if you're going to do it in such a disrespectful manner! I recommend that you take this statement very, very seriously. If you don't, the result could be a cease and desist order from the pair you claim to "love".

There's a good chance that Tif won't see this post. If you know her, make sure she does. She doesn't want me to act. She really doesn't.

Tori

[faniestart]

prt 2

[coolnonsenseworld]

A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........

Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!

 mmezzy.bigcartel.com

[heavenangelly]

Knowing everything about the law but not being able to apply it/manifest

The lotus: The lotus flower symbolizes rising from a dark place into beauty and rebirth, as this is precisely how a lotus flower grows. The lotus symbolizes the human Spiritual potential of transformation to the True (Divine) Self. -Google

I’m sure some of the people in this community, myself included, have learnt everything there is to possibly know about the law. You may even have notes and screenshots. But regardless of this, you just cannot apply. You want to change but you stay the same.

Why is this?

1. You lack belief in yourself. You love reading the posts, getting the short burst of motivation, getting ready to apply and change self, and then deflate when you see the 3d. So you consume and consume to get that feeling again, only to fall into the same cycle. You don’t think you can do it and you place the 3d on the pedestal, thinking that it is more real than imagination. You put your desires above you, hopeless that you’ll ever get them.

2. You don’t feel the burning desire to change; to be different. Some people may be lukewarm about their desires. They want it but they don’t want it enough to do something about it. Personally, when I want something really bad, I’d do anything in my power to have it. I’m burning with passion to get it, and in this case it would be to accept it and stay in that state. You have to want to be different. You have to feel like you’re burning with need to get what you want. You have to really want it. And this will act like a final push. You’d be dedicated and passionate about it. And if you’re not like that, if you are lukewarm, reevaluate why you want that thing. Fall back in love with it and actually having it instead of seeing it above you and unattainable.

3. Do you actually want it? You may feel a little resistance or dread towards your “desire” because it’s not something you actually want. It may be something that society has made you think you want. Go deep within and ask yourself if that’s actually something you want. Spend some time with yourself and see if it resonates with you, If you burn with passion for it. It doesn’t matter if society says you need it, this is YOUR reality and you decide if you need it or not.

How do I get out of this cycle?

1. Create a formula for how you’re going to manifest your desires. Take a few screenshots of your absolute favourite posts (5 posts maximum) that will remind you of how the law works and possibly motivate you. Put those in a note along with your formula

2. Now that you have created that, GET OFF OF TUMBLR. Do NOT consume anymore content. You know this shit. If you really need to, reread your screenshots and formula.

3. Constantly go back to your screenshots and formula if you doubt. If you have any questions, try to answer them yourself. You do know the law after all.

4. Try to have an end goal in mind. Like a routine you do everyday regarding manifestation or a time frame that will help you stay disciplined and motivated (but DO NOT focus too much on these things, focus more on fulfilment.) Do methods or anything you want, as long as you feel FULFILMENT it doesn’t matter what you do.

5. Have FUN. Do not make the law a chore for you. It’s so fun if you do the things you love and actually want to manifest and are dedicated to getting what you want, regardless of everything.

Reminder: Failure doesn’t exist. You can only “fail” if you stop persisting.

I really hope this post helped some of you, and I hope you take this to heart. You don’t have to live a life of cycles anymore if you don’t want to. Remember, you always choose what state you’re in. You’re always choosing to be something, to continue being something, to manifest something. Become unstoppable and undefeatable. You deserve this. I believe in you, now believe in yourself.

Now become like the lotus flower.

[thepsychonyx]

I want to speak about why the second part of the Best-True ending of Dragon Age Veilguard pierced me so deeply. The Flycam screenshots are from Aru/Elf botanist (YT linked at the bottom).

To set the tone, the music established the emotive themes of the scene. It speaks to the Lost Elf theme- however it is forever changed and lighter. This elf that was Lost for so many years is now Found. There is hope in the strings, there is redemption in each note. This also speaks to the specific codex from the lighthouse in Solas’ secret room. Not his office at the top of the building, extravagant, beautiful, overshadowing all others and looking down in godly benevolence - his private quarters on the main floor, where parts of his travel with the Inquisition surround him.

When Lavellan speaks to Solas, she is using a resolute voice, almost chastising him for thinking he has to do this alone. He has her, and she will keep reminding him.

*Edit: Please note she also speaks the common tongue in this instance.

Solas implores her to think of the dangers the journey he is going on will have, his head is down to show the residual shame and his plea for her safety. But also a part of him hopes. The reason all he says is that “there will be danger” is a statement of warning but not fully entreating her to stay. His heart has a pause, he is prioritising her safety and wants her aware of the dangers.

Note, that he also speaks in Elven in response to her, his first language and mother tongue. As a trilingual, one usually reverts to their more natural tongue during a heightened emotional situation - in this case, Solas' warning statement is also a subconcious plea for her to understand him and join him despite the danger. He will never push her further than she wants to go like he was pushed by Mythal.

This is the shot normally, the downward and side tilt are clear making the imploring effect of his words resonate further. Unlike before where he only looked at her for small spans of time his attention is fully focused since being absolved of his duty. After she responds that she will be with him, forever no matter what, he shifts. This is akin to when making vows “I stay with you in sickness and in death” but they are crossing the boundaries of mortality. This is “I stay with you in any plight, any condition, any reality. I commit my eternity to you”

Her response is an amalgamation of the following:

1) You are not alone in it emotionally and mentally as I am with you

2) Physically I am with you to endure it with you

3) Our joined manifestations will make it a better place quite literally, so the bleak darkness that could have encroached will not exist when we are together

This is also validated a bit by Trick Weekes QA:

She then states their love is eternal, and she chooses to walk on any path with him fully and wholly. A love that transcends time, mortal barriers, immortality, the different realms of existence. This combined with their standing pose as if at the altar of a wedding is the final part of her vows. Said in the same hallelujah pattern and in elven as he would speak - she commits to his language (mentally and emotionally) so he best will understand her declaration. (This is confirmed by @northgalis on Twitter).

This, in front of the witnesses who are the allies who helped them unite in their union, Rook and Morrigan whilst overseen by the Veil itself in the position of holiness. His blood is the bond they now share, the new blood magic in a way that ties them to a new fate of their own making. The veil that brought them together in the beginning of the journey they now tread into together.

Then they confirm their vows with a kiss, she pulls him in first, similarly to their first kiss in the fade and he reciprocates. Solas is weakened, hurting, feeling unworthy of the brightest soul in the universe but she chooses him and he finally submits to his desire and need for her. His duty now to himself, atonement and the woman who chose him with it all in mind.

Aru’s flycam footage also shows the kiss being deeper and him actively

After the kiss, he SMILES. The ending is now so much less bleak it is tender, it is soft it is comfort, it is peace.

A smiling glance. meeting at a crescendo; a shared moment of understanding;

Screenshot from Daoithe on Tumblr.

He then proceeds to thank Rook, for helping him see when he allowed himself to be so plagued by grief and guilt and not giving up on him as it could have turned to despair, revenge and anger, like all the other endings which I hate because they go against his very nature. The other endings spit in the face of his complexity the story keeps explicitly imploring you to see and have empathy. Solas is a spirit of wisdom, when guilt festers that wisdom manifests in the worst possible ways. And with no one to listen and read between the lines, the fate he is subjected too is far too unkind. But here, he not only is freed of his guilt but also, just as importantly and very implicitly, his fear of dying alone.

If you have played inquisition you will recall there is a moment near the climax of Here Lies the Abyss where Inquisitor and their chosen companions go into the Fade. Solas is easily one of the most fascinating and best companions to take with you as he from the onset has been a “Fade expert” and his lines throughout are intriguing and educational. During the quest you come across graves embodying the different characters biggest fears. And Solas? Dying alone. The god who went against everyone he knew for a better world, whose empathy only continued to hurt him and freed others with hopes to better the world is the most lonely man. And he is terrified and within himself brought low by his loneliness in his commitment to the path he feels he must take. This is why the next part transcends the scene.

After the kiss which confirmed their bond and pact - binding them together with love and empathy, wisdom and curiosity married - he thanks rook and looks back at Lavellan, his Vhenan. And it is a *micro second* shot that completely defeats me. His head held high, the concerned imploring tilt gone as he holds his chin higher in appreciation, respect and awe for the woman who chose him. The love of his life, his eternal companion. The only one to truly fully see him, respect him, and love him wholly. Who has forgiven him and chooses a path which only leads to him. He is honoured to be loved by her, and will work to be the better man he feels she deserves, but also beginning to accept that her love for him is in any form he takes. The one he prizes above all others, chose him, and he will never be alone - and that is everything.

Seeing completely, and being wholly seen.

This scene literally destroyed me in the best way. I am left hollow with love and adoration for this character and his relationship to his love Lavellan and no other romance will meet the threshold they have created for me. It is not Solavellan hell no longer, they have transcended to Solavellan heaven.

My playthrough video of the second half of the ending sequence.

Here is Arus Flycam YT video for reference:

Arus Flycam Lavellan POV of the True - Best ending

[mythicalmaven]

(I used a screenshot of the original request in here, because I wans't able to reply to the original request anymore, whoops)

Here it finally is! Please let me know what you thought of it :) Requests are open btw! Feel free to request anything :) I'm considering to do kinktober as well this year, so leave your requests for that as well :)

Supposed To Be Mine - Charles Leclerc (ONESHOT)

Masterlist ↳pairing: charles leclerc x female!reader ↳word count: 4.9K ↳warnings: friends to lovers, jealous!sex, jealousy, (minor) possessiveness, jealous Charles, smut, 18+(MDNI!), handjob (m!receiving), pinv ↳summary: In which Oscar wins the Azerbaijan GP & Charles gets jealous because their mutual friend decides to celebrate with Oscar& not him (or so he thinks). This results in pent up emotions, a heated argument & of course, jealous sex

It was Sunday, September 15th when you found yourself making your way through the paddock. The sun was shining bright and the atmosphere was making you feel ecstatic. You, a familiar face on the grid, had been here to support your friends. While you usually worked as a member of the F1 TV team during Grand Prix, this weekend you were off duty, free to fully enjoy the festivities of the Grand Prix.

Over the years, you'd built strong friendships with most of the grid, but there were three drivers you were particularly close to: Oscar, Charles, and Alex. Each friendship had grown naturally, but in distinct ways.

Alex was the one who felt like a brother from the start. You clicked immediately, sharing the same dry humor, hobbies, and an undeniable love for animals. He was always there for you—whether it was picking you up from the club after too many drinks or cheering you up when your heart got broken again. If there was one word to describe your bond, it was siblings.

Then there was Oscar, your roommate. He ticked all the boxes for the perfect best friend. Your friendship took time to blossom, but once it did, you both quickly realized how well you fit together, purely platonically. The thought of taking it further had never crossed your minds—it just wasn’t like that. After moving to Monaco, you’d struggled to find an apartment, so Oscar offered you a place to stay. A year later, you were still living together because, honestly, it was too much fun to stop.

Then last, but certainly not least, Charles. Your bond with him was something else entirely. The connection between you felt effortless, almost surreal. He was the friend you could call at any hour to talk about anything or nothing. You could spend hours in comfortable silence, never growing bored. But Charles was also the friend that you had secretly been in love with for years. You knew you shouldn't be, your friendship worth way too much to risk it for a stupid crush. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get over him. Every time you dated someone else, it always came back to Charles.

But even if you'd allow yourself to feel the way you did about him, you'd already given up the hope of him ever feeling the same despite your friends insisting otherwise, pointing out how he smiled brighter when he was around you or how his gaze lingered a little longer. You were unable to believe it, the scenario seeming to good to be true.

There were moments—fleeting, breathless moments—when you thought something was there. Moments where your faces hovered inches apart, breaths mingling, hearts pounding. But right before anything could happen, one of you would pull back, retreating before the tension broke, both of you pretending it had never happened.

Charles had been in love with you longer than he cared to admit. Everything about you captivated him—the way your laughter filled a room, the ease with which you could calm him when he was frustrated, the way you just got him without him needing to explain a thing. Around you, he felt at ease and yet so unbelievably nervous. His heart would race whenever you were near, his palms would get sweaty, and he could feel the tension in his chest and stomach. There were so many times he’d wanted to pull you close, to feel your body against his, but something always stopped him.

It was fear. Fear that you would notice how much he felt for you and that it would scare you off. The thought of you realizing the depth of his feelings terrified him, because losing you, even as just a friend, was unthinkable. He tried to keep a distance for that reason, but it was impossible. You had this way of driving him wild without even trying, leaving him helpless in the wake of his emotions.

He’d fantasized about you more often than he dared to admit—so many nights spent alone in his apartment, hand slipping beneath his waistband, your name falling from his lips in breathless whispers. But it wasn’t just the physical desire; it was how much he felt when he was around you. You made him feel alive in a way no one else could.

And then, there was Oscar. The way you two were so close, always together, always laughing, sent a pang of jealousy through him. You said there was nothing romantic between you, but sometimes, Charles couldn’t help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, you felt something for him. It ate at him, the idea of someone else having what he wanted so desperately. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold back.

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The roar of engines echoed across the pit lane as the top three finishers of the Azerbaijan Grand Prix parked their cars by their respective signs. Charles finished 2nd, which made you incredibly excited for him, but your excitement today reached an even higher level by the one who finished first. Oscar just won his second Grand Prix in F1 and you were feeling so incredibly proud.

You were standing at the front of the crowd, engulfing Oscar's mom in a crushing hug, sharing your mutual excitement. You looked up at Oscar climbing out of the car, bumping his fist in the air, cheering enthusiastically.

"God, look at him, finally a win he is allowing himself to enjoy!" you chimed to his mom.

You watched as Oscar ran straight into the arms of his engineers, their shared happiness palpable in the air. The joy between them was infectious, and you couldn’t help but smile as you took in the scene.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Charles climbing out of his car in the background, your heart skipping a beat at the sight of him. Post-race Charles always did things to you that you couldn't quite explain. You wanted to wave, but he seemed busy with his team, so you decided to congratulate him on his podium later.

Your attention shifted back to Oscar just as he approached his mum, pulling her into a warm embrace while carefully avoiding bumping her with his helmet.

"I'm so proud of you, darling!" she cooed, squeezing him a little tighter before they eventually pulled apart.

Oscar removed his helmet and reached up to pull off his balaclava, revealing a blissed-out expression. His smile was radiant, a mix of joy and relief, as if the weight of the race had melted away in that victorious moment.

He caught your eye, and his grin widened. "I did it! I actually did it!" he exclaimed, still sounding like he couldn’t quite believe it.

"You did! You really did!" you gushed, your smile matching his as you shared in his happiness.

Without warning, Oscar launched himself at you, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you over the fence you’d been leaning against. He hugged you tightly, spinning you around as both of you laughed, the sound of your shared joy echoing across the pit lane.

The cameras were all pointed in your direction, capturing the moment. To you and Oscar, it was nothing more than two best friends celebrating a hard-fought victory. But to the outside world, the scene looked far more intimate than it felt.

Charles stood at a distance, watching the moment unfold. His chest tightened as he took in the sight of you and Oscar together, laughter and smiles shared so easily between you. You’d told him there was nothing going on with Oscar, that the two of you were just best friends—but looking at you now, Charles couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy.

It hurt. It hurt to see you in Oscar’s arms, when he wished so desperately that it was him instead. He felt a wave of frustration, jealousy swirling inside him. Oscar was his friend, someone he genuinely liked, but seeing you together like that made it hard to think straight. The fear that Oscar might steal you away—his girl, even though you weren’t even his—gnawed at him.

“She said there was nothing between them,” he muttered under his breath, trying to convince himself.

Pierre appeared beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I think it’s not what it looks like, mate," he offered, sensing Charles’ mood.

Charles shook his head, frustration still bubbling beneath the surface. "That’s what they always say when they’re denying it," he replied, his voice low. "I know she’s single, and she can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants, but… it just hurts."

Pierre gave him a sympathetic look, but Charles couldn’t shake the feeling. He wanted to punch something, not because he hated Oscar—he liked Oscar—but because seeing you so close to him made him feel like he was losing you, even though you were never his to begin with.

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Later in the day, as the adrenaline from the race began to wear off, you found yourself searching for Charles. You had spent the afternoon immersed in the celebrations with Oscar and the McLaren team, reveling in their victory. Despite the fun, your thoughts kept drifting back to Charles.

Navigating through the bustling paddock, you scanned the area for any sign of him. You wanted to offer your congratulations and express how proud you were, but Charles seemed to have vanished.

When you stepped into the Ferrari motorhome, you were greeted by Carlos. The Spaniard offered you a small, knowing smile. "Hey," he said as he approached you.

"Hey, have you seen Charles?" you asked, absentmindedly twirling a stray strand of hair.

Carlos's smile turned apologetic. "He already left for the hotel. Said something about not feeling up to it today."

Your heart sank a bit. "Oh, I wanted to congratulate him earlier, but I got caught up with the celebrations."

A flicker of realization crossed Carlos's face. "Ah, that explains why he seemed so on edge when he came back here."

Confusion clouded your expression. "What do you mean?"

Carlos’s eyes twinkled with a hint of mischief. "I think Charles got a bit unsettled seeing you so close with Oscar instead of him."

You frowned, trying to make sense of it. "Why would he be annoyed? My best friend won the race. Of course I celebrated with him. It's not like I didn't want to celebrate with Charles, it's just that Oscar is my best friend. And he also deserves the attention when he achieves something amazing like this."

Carlos’s smirk widened slightly. "That’s exactly his problem."

You stood there, grappling with the situation, struggling to find the right words. Carlos seemed to sense your confusion and gently placed a hand on your shoulder. "Maybe you should talk to him. There might be more going on between you two than you realize."

His words hung in the air, adding a new layer to your thoughts as you considered the possibility of unspoken feelings and misunderstandings.

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"You seemed awfully intimate with Piastri this afternoon, anything unfolding there?" you heard Alex tease on through the phone.

He had called you had texted that you were on the way back to the hotel, something you often did to just gossip and rant about everything that went on.

You rolled your eyes, and huffed "Why does everybody keep saying that. Not even in my wildest dreams, ew" you whined "I know he's good looking, I'm not blind, but the idea of doing something with him revolts me just as much as it revolts him"

The chuckle that Alex let out was audible to you "Well, to be fair, it didn't look like nothing on camera" he started, another chuckle leaving his lips "Have you checked your social media lately? Apparently the camera's catched Charles' reaction to your little moment with Oscar. The video is going quite viral. He is shooting daggers at Oscar, man. The jealousy is literally burning in his eyes"

You sighed "Don't, Alex" you whispered "Don't give me hope"

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺

You arrived at Charles's hotel room with a mix of anxiety and frustration swirling inside you. His abrupt disappearance after the celebration, coupled with his avoidance of your calls, had left you feeling unsettled and concerned. Your knuckles rapped against the door, the sound echoing in the empty hallway. When Charles finally opened it, his face was a mask of irritation, the tension in his posture unmistakable.

“What’s going on?” you demanded, stepping past him before he could react.

Charles’s eyes were dark with frustration. “Nothing,” he snapped, but the rigidity in his stance and the clenched fists he tried to hide told a different story.

You let out a sigh, frustration bubbling up inside you. “I know you’re lying,” you insisted, moving to sit on the edge of his bed, trying to steady your breathing. “Please, just talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong. What did I do?”

Charles stood with his back to you, his breathing shallow and uneven. “Why him?” he finally asked, his voice strained and raw.

Confusion creased your brow. “What are you talking about?”

Charles’s frustration finally erupted. “Why did you celebrate with Oscar and not with me? I finished second. I deserved some attention too.”

You took a deep breath, trying to stay calm despite the rising tension. “Oscar’s my best friend too. This win was a big deal for him. I wanted to be there for him. I tried to find you, but you were already gone.”

Charles’s eyes flashed with hurt and jealousy, a dark storm clouding his gaze. “It feels like you care more about him than me. It fucking hurts to see you so close to him, probably even—”

His words struck a nerve, causing irritation to flare within you. “Oscar and I are just friends, Charles.” You stated, your anger bubbled over. “And so what if it was more? Why does it matter to you? I’m not your property. You dont get to decide who I spend time with. You’re my best friend, not my boyfriend.”

Charles’s face flushed with frustration, his voice rising with each word. “Merde, for fuck’s sake, I don’t want to be your best friend!”

His declaration stunned you, a mix of hurt and anger surging within you, causing tears to well up in your eyes. “Well, if you don’t want to be my best friend, I might as well go back to Oscar then. Since, according to you, that’s where I prefer to be. You apparently know me better than I do!”

Without waiting for a response, you turned to leave, but Charles’s hand shot out, grabbing your wrist with a desperate grip. His eyes burned with an intense emotion, a mixture of longing and possessiveness that was almost palpable. Before you could react, he pulled you close, his lips crashing against yours in a kiss that was both fierce and consuming.

The kiss was rough, charged with pent-up emotions. Charles’s lips moved against yours with an urgent hunger, a reflection of the depth of his feelings. The heat of his body pressed against yours, every touch and caress infused with an intensity that left you breathless. His hands roamed over your curves, claiming you with each possessive stroke. You could feel the undeniable pressure of his arousal pressing against you, intensifying the moment.

He guided you gently back toward the bed, his touch both tender and commanding. Slowly, he lowered you down onto it, his hands caressing your sides with a reverence that spoke of his deep feelings for you. He leaned over you, his breath warm against your skin. “I don’t want to be your best friend,” he said, his voice heavy with desire. “I want to be your boyfriend.”

You were taken aback by his declaration, the words resonating deeply within you. Before you could respond, Charles’s lips were on yours again, kissing you with a fierce passion that left you breathless. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you closer, as he explored your body with a mix of urgency and tenderness.

You moaned softly, the sound escaping your lips as his touch ignited a fire within you. Charles’s arousal was evident, his body pressing against yours in a way that heightened your senses. “Tell me you think about me at night and not him,” he demanded, his voice husky and filled with longing.

The world around you seemed to dissolve as Charles’s touch and kisses overwhelmed your senses. His hands roamed over your body, exploring, caressing, igniting every nerve with a mix of desperation and adoration. His touch was both possessive and tender, his kisses deep and demanding.

“Tell me,” he urged, his voice a low, heated whisper. “Tell me you scream my name when you come and not his.”

You met his intense gaze, your voice breathless and filled with yearning. “Only you, Charles. It has always been you.”

Charles’s eyes darkened with satisfaction, his expression softening slightly as he continued his intimate exploration. He guided your hands to his jeans, his breathing ragged with desire. “Have you ever thought about him like this?” he asked, his voice a rough whisper. “Touched him like this?”

You looked up at him, your eyes filled with a mixture of defiance and affection. “It’s only you, Charles,” you replied, your voice sultry. “I never saw Oscar that way.”

Charles’s frustration and desire mingled as he felt your touch, his body tensing and his control slipping. He moaned softly, a deep, guttural sound that reflected his overwhelmed state. His hands gripped the edge of the bed for support as you palmed him through his jeans, your touch eliciting a series of desperate groans from him.

Unable to hold back any longer, you undid the button of his jeans and slid your hand inside, taking him in your grasp. Charles gasped, his breathing coming in short, erratic bursts. “F-Fuck,” he whimpered, his voice strained. “That feels so good.” His body tensed and trembled, overwhelmed by the sensation of your touch. “J-Just like that,” he gasped, his voice a desperate, needy growl. “Show me you’re mine. I want you to think about me every time you touch yourself. I hope that after tonight, you can never touch another man without thinking about me.”

You looked at him, your eyes filled with passion. “It’s already been like that for years,” you whispered, your voice trembling with desire.

Charles’s gaze softened for a moment, but his need took over. He flipped you back onto the bed with a sudden, urgent intensity. His movements were driven by a deep-seated desire, his lips finding yours again, kissing you with a feverish passion that made your heart race.

As he undressed you, his touch was both deliberate and passionate. He removed the last bits of his clothing with a mix of urgency and tenderness, his hands lingering on your skin, savoring the feel of you beneath him. He paused, looking into your eyes with a mixture of tenderness and desire. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked, his voice a low, heated whisper. “Tell me, do you want this as much as I do?”

You nodded, your voice breathless with anticipation. “Yes, Charles. I want you. I want all of you.”

Charles’s eyes darkened with satisfaction as he positioned himself above you. His hands continued their intimate exploration, his kisses trailing down your neck and shoulders with a mix of urgency and tenderness. Each touch was a declaration of his intense feelings, a blend of passion and possession that left you craving more.

As the intensity of the moment built, Charles’s control wavered. He pulled back slightly, his eyes filled with a mixture of need and desire. “Tell me you’re mine,” he urged, his voice a rough whisper. “I want to hear you say it, mon amour”

You looked at him, your body trembling with desire as he continued to touch and kiss

you. “I’m yours, Charles,” you whispered, your voice trembling with both need and certainty.

Charles’s expression softened into one of profound relief and adoration, but a trace of jealousy lingered in his eyes, his gaze never leaving yours. As he positioned himself between your legs, there was a mixture of tenderness and possessiveness in his touch. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he murmured, his voice filled with deep emotion and a hint of a possessive edge.

With that, he entered you slowly, his movements tender yet unmistakably possessive. His thrusts were gentle and loving, but each one was infused with a sense of claiming, as though he was marking you as his own. His kisses were gentle but urgent, his lips traveling down your neck as he began to suck and nibble, leaving marks that would clearly show his affection and his possessiveness.

You gasped, feeling the intensity of his touch. “Charles, be careful. They will be visible,” you said, your voice a mixture of concern and pleasure.

Charles’s eyes darkened with a mix of satisfaction and jealousy. “That’s the point,” he murmured against your skin, his voice a low growl filled with both desire and a possessive undertone. “I want him to see and know that you belong to me. I want him to see what he’s missing, that you’re mine and mine alone.”

His words stirred something deep within you, causing a moan to escape your lips that was loud and unrestrained, a testament to the intense pleasure you were experiencing. Your hand instinctively traveled up to his neck, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled gently but firmly. The sensation of his hair being tugged caused him to shiver, and he let out a deep, guttural moan that reverberated against your skin.

Charles’s reaction was immediate and visceral. He groaned softly, his breath coming in ragged bursts as the pull on his hair heightened his arousal. “Fuck...” he whispered, his voice trembling with both pleasure and disbelief. The feeling of your fingers in his hair only intensified his longing, making him feel as though he were losing control. “Merde… that feels so good,” he muttered, his tone rough and desperate. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

The way you tugged at his hair drove him to new heights of pleasure, his moans growing louder and more fervent as he lost himself in the sensations. Each pull sent a jolt of electricity through him, making his movements more urgent and fervent, as though he were trying to convey just how deeply your touch affected him.

As he continued, his thrusts maintained a balance of gentle passion and possessive claim, his hands gripping you with a mix of tenderness and assertion. The rhythm of his movements was both caring and commanding, a reflection of his deep, conflicted emotions. His kisses left a trail of marks, each one a silent declaration of his fierce, consuming love and possessiveness.

Charles’s eyes lock onto yours, his breath coming in short, uneven bursts. “I-I’m so close,” he gasps, his voice strained with the intensity of the moment. The desperate need in his eyes makes your heart race, his body pressing into yours with a fervor that only heightens your own arousal.

You can barely hold back your own pleasure, the sensations coursing through you almost overwhelming. “Me too” you moan, your voice trembling as you inch closer to the edge. “Come for me, Charles,” 

Your encouragement is the final push he needs, and his body reacts instantly. The combination of your words and the electric tension between you drives him over the edge. The urgency in Charles’s movements and the heat of his gaze as tumbles over the edge draws you to the peak of your ecstasy with him.

As the two of you reached the peak of your intimacy, Charles’s moans mingled with your own, creating a symphony of pleasure and connection that echoed through the room. The shared release was an explosion of ecstasy that left you both trembling and gasping, entwined in the aftermath of your union. 

When the world finally settled and the waves of pleasure began to recede, Charles held you close, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he whispered, “God, you have no idea how long I’ve been in love with you.”

You smiled through your own breathless satisfaction, responding softly, “I could say the same to you.”

Charles’s expression softened further as he kissed you tenderly, his hands caressing your skin with a gentleness that spoke of his deep affection. The moment was filled with a profound sense of connection and fulfillment, a testament to the depth of his feelings and the strength of your bond.

masterlist

[badscienceman]

I saw someone ask what "I hope this hurts" means beyond the obvious, and I started to respond only for it to turn into an essay... Because I don't feel like dumping something so long in some unsuspecting person's notifs, I'm just going to post it here instead.

I started writing this after playing the game, but ended up watching a playthrough because I couldn't remember exactly where "I hope this hurts" was repeated. I think I caught the only few times it was mentioned, but I wouldn't be surprised if I missed something, so feel free to correct me on that or anything else I might have gotten wrong.

Spoilers for the full game and CWs for everything you would expect from discussing Mouthwashing apply.

Edited 10/16/2024 for clarity and some minor issues with formatting. I added sections in hopes of making it more readable, as well as a few more screenshots that I hope will support my points better. *Indicates where I made potentially significant additions to my original analysis.

Part One: Jimmy

Jimmy is someone who has a delicate ego. This means that he's very concerned with how he's perceived by those around him. We see this in how he responds to Curly and the news of the company's closure, which he takes it as a personal attack in spite of it very clearly having nothing to do with him on a personal level.

For people like Jimmy, a threat to one's image (whether it's a matter of their perception of themselves or, maybe worse, the perception others have of them) brings intense emotional pain. Even though it's clear that Curly meant no personal offense, and likely saw more good in Jimmy than was actually there, Jimmy sees this as a great threat to his own image, and thus identity.

To be clear, it's not just that Jimmy thinks Curly is looking down on him. It's also that Jimmy needs his role in the company to maintain his image, and he needs to eventually become captain. This is his ultimate goal because the respect and control that someone like Curly has, in Jimmy's mind, is tied to the title he possesses. And Jimmy wants that. He wants respect, he wants to be listened to, he wants power over others. (This is also why Swansea's final speech is so important, in relation to the belief that if one just reaches this next goal, they might feel a little more human, a little more in control, a little more fulfilled, but as Swansea shows us, that's just not the case. And it's true for Jimmy, too. Jimmy isn't magically fulfilled by obtaining the title of captain.)

But in the beginning, Jimmy has yet to realize that just getting the role of captain won't magically make him a man who is respected, or even a man who is truly in control. He sees no opportunities for himself on earth. The only option is to stay in this company and become a little lord of his own ship... and suddenly that's ripped out from under him. He will never reach the goal he's been chasing for all of this time.

Anya telling him about her pregnancy is the final push he needs to go over the edge.

Part Two: Captain

Returning to the initial reveal that the company is shutting down for a second, I think it's important to keep in mind a few things:

1. The importance of the title of captain in Jimmy's mind.

2. How this extends to his perception of Curly, him being the current captain.

3. Jimmy's self-centeredness preventing him from understanding the feelings and perceptions of those around him.

When Curly says what he does, Jimmy immediately jumps to the conclusion that Curly sees himself as above everyone else (and most importantly, as above Jimmy), to the point of considering them "dirt." I don't think Jimmy is just projecting his greatest fear (being seen as lesser) onto Curly. I think he's projecting his own perceptions.

He's placed all of this importance on the title of captain, and thus Curly. The captain is above Jimmy. Jimmy is beneath him, is lesser. And we know how Jimmy treats those he sees as lesser (first Anya, and then the rest of the crew once he's captain, *manipulating Daisuke into putting his life at risk because Daisuke, who is just an intern after all, just isn't important to Jimmy being an example).

I think this is a fair reading because Jimmy does something similar with Swansea when he insists that Swansea is keeping the last cryostasis pod for himself. I understand some might say that this is just Jimmy's attempt to manipulate Daisuke and Jimmy doesn't actually believe it, which is a fair interpretation, but I sincerely think he believes what he's saying in this instance. And I think that because Jimmy sees selfishness as common sense. It's what he would do were he in Swansea's position, and what makes him giving the pod to Curly significant.

Part Three: Anya

So, Jimmy is already hurt and panicking. He sees his chance at power and thus fulfillment slipping away. And then Anya tells him that she's pregnant.

Anya, who he has shown time and time again that he thinks little of.

Anya, who he clearly sees as beneath him.

Any mention of the pregnancy, no matter how gently it was worded, would immediately feel like a threat to him on multiple levels. And not only that, but a threat from someone lesser than him. His image, his status, his control, his power—it's already slipping from his fingertips. *It's happening right then, in that moment. It's not just a potential future where he's held accountable in a real way (maybe if Anya involved authorities, or if Jimmy was legally responsible for supporting a child once they returned to earth). It's happening now, because his image is crumbling.

For this reason, I believe I hope this hurts to be directed at anyone and everyone that he sees as "threatening" him.

Anya and Curly have made him hurt. He wants to make them hurt.

He doesn't care about Daisuke and Swansea. If anything, he's so caught up in himself and this contorted vision of reality, I wouldn't be shocked if he convinced himself in the moment that they, too, were looking down on him for some reason. (See again, "I know what everyone is thinking. The way they look at me." Obviously this is said in the midst of his spiral, after the crash, but I wouldn't doubt the paranoia was there before that moment.)

He wants to make them hurt as they've hurt him. He may also want to make himself hurt in order to vent out his emotional pain. If not, death may simply be the easiest way to escape pain and the threat the future holds in his mind.

*Part Four: Without the Guilt

In addition to all of this, I think crashing the ship (making them hurt) is his vision of what Curly has done or is doing to him. This is how he "leave(s) the dirt behind."

To understand this, I'm going to include the birthday conversation and the conversation between Jimmy and Curly about crashing the ship.

Jimmy: ... So I guess you got what you wanted. Without the guilt. Curly: Jim... If I had known... Jimmy: I can go back to my, how'd you put it? "Struggle of a life?" Jimmy: Anya never got into medical school because she's... well, let's be real. Jimmy: And how many employment years Swansea got left in him? Jimmy: Daisuke will be fine, mommy and daddy have him covered. So there's that at least. Jimmy: But you. Headed for bigger and better, right? Curly: I'm just... I'm just working on my life being a place I don't have to fucking escape! That's what I was trying to tell you, nothing mor- Jimmy: We're the ones you're trying to escape! Leave the dirt behind now that your boots are clean! Curly: That's not what I meant. Jimmy: It is what you meant. Jimmy: You just couldn't frame it to yourself in a way that kept you as the hero. Jimmy: Abandon the crew but remain the model captain.

To me, this is one of the most important and revealing sections of the game. Jimmy is not only projecting onto Curly, he's telling us exactly what he's going to go on to do (or attempt to do) when he becomes captain.

In addition to this, we see his manipulation on full display as he twists Curly's words and won't allow him even a moment to truly speak beyond a few lines he manages to get in between Jimmy's ranting.

That's not to mention we see the beginning of yet another pattern in Jimmy's behavior: getting a person to admit their weakness, then using it against them and/or using it to hurt them (he does this with Daisuke, for example, when he hears Daisuke's fears/desire for approval and proceeds to use it to get Daisuke in the vent). Here, Curly speaks about feeling trapped. Jimmy will soon trap him in a crashed ship just as much as he traps him in his own body, which Jimmy will proceed to drug. But I'll return to that.

Curly: Jim. I can fix this. Jimmy: What do you think will happen when we get back? Hm? Curly: We can figure all of this out. You and me. Take care of it. Kills ninety nine percent. Jimmy: All I ever hear is how great of a leader you are. God, it's so annoying. Jimmy: But, now... What do you think will happen now when we get back? Curly: We'll fix this together. Jimmy: Everything you and I worked for in our lives. Accomplishments, changes. Jimmy: None of it will matter. Curly: You've gotten through difficult situations before. This time won't be any different. Work through it, one day at a time. Jimmy: It's not just me, is it? Jimmy: You were supposed to be the one who had everything under control. You said so yourself. Jimmy: The ship, this crew, everything that happened here... Jimmy: This was your responsibility, Captain. Jimmy: That is what you'll be hearing the rest of your life. Take responsibility. Jimmy: Or this can all be remembered as a tragedy. Jimmy: Despite what must have been the best efforts of its acclaimed captain. Jimmy: The Tulpar crew was never found. Jimmy: No one survived to tell the tale. Take responsibility. Jimmy: You're standing at the top. Jimmy: Feet in cement. Jimmy: I get it now. Right? Curly: ... Curly: ... Right.

This is an important moment, because aside from the scene in which Jimmy is approaching Curly while he's on fire, it's the only other time that I can recall the game separating from their perspectives to allow us to see them both, standing together.

We see a flash of Take care of it. Kills ninety nine percent. Jimmy begins to pull away. Another flash. He continues to draw back. Another. He turns towards the cockpit.

Jimmy sees through Curly. He sees Curly's worst where Curly sees only Jimmy's best, and he's more that willing to use that against Curly.

He sees a man who is not going to do what's hard. He sees a man who is going to try to "fix it" only in the most superficial sense. A man who confuses the appearance of cohesion and peace with the reality of it. Someone who sees the rocking of the boat as a manifestation of taking action against a wrong rather than the wrong itself.

In the end, it seems they're both ruled by appearances. And Jimmy will soon rip appearances in every sense from Curly's fingertips. He will make him hurt. He will get his revenge. He'll turn Curly into the villain, taking away his title, his respect, and his very face.

For daring to look down on him, Jimmy will turn Curly into dust.

But I think these words—I hope it hurts—come back to haunt him.

Part Five: The Eye as a Mirror

Like I said, I went back to try to find each time the phrase is used. There's the beginning, of course, but then there's the pregnancy sequence, for lack of a better name.

When the Polle monstrosity emerges from the giant uterus (?), we see these words:

In this sequence, we see a lot of different images and concepts connected: Anya's pregnancy and thus her sexual assault by Jimmy are tied to Polle and the company. The emergence of the Polle monster from the giant uterus (and the idea of the removal of the pregnancy) is tied to the mouthwash, as it's an act of "cleansing." This is all then tied to the phrase I hope this hurts.

Unless I missed something, these are the only two moments when the phrase is used: When Jimmy crashes the ship, and when he's experiencing this hallucination.

All clean! Really gets rid of that bad taste in your mouth, huh? Through wreckage! Through silence! Wash it away! All day fire fresh!

"Clean" is important immediately. "Leave the dirt behind you now that your boots are clean," Jimmy says. Because in this accusation is Jimmy's actual intentions himself. He wants to rise above others and clean himself from their filth. Now, he wants to clean himself of his sins.

I think "Really gets rid of that bad taste in your mouth" is mocking him. A direct challenge to the thought that he could ever truly be "cleaned," at least in the ways he's so desperately trying to go about it. *Not to mention how this connects to the mouthwash, as it might get that 99%, but there's always going to be 1% left.

"Through wreckage" obviously refers to the wrecking of the ship, but also of their lives. All by Jimmy. Though I wouldn't doubt in his mind it connects to the wreckage of consequences (ie. Anya's pregnancy resulting from Jimmy's actions).

"Through silence" I feel connects back to Jimmy's attempts to keep everything quiet, both literally and figuratively.

"Wash it away" also has a mocking edge, as if stressing the foolishness of Jimmy's attempts to treat these very serious events as if it's all just "dirt" he can wipe off.

Finally, we see "All day fire fresh!" This line stresses the connection to the mouthwash, of course. It also calls to mind the concept of cleansing by fire. Important considering Curly.

And after each, I hope it hurts. Jimmy's statement of pure, childish rage. His desperate desire to make others hurt as he hurts. To lash out, to get revenge. To have control until the very end.

This is also why Polle haunts him. Because he, as a man desperate for control, will always be under the thumb of the company even with that title of captain. That hurts him. And maybe the closest thing to ever recognizing the evil he's done to Anya is envisioning it as similar to the company's control, but even that feels like a mockery because he's so horrifically incapable of seeing her as a human being that she's been reduced to her womb. That's what he's really afraid of, in the end, and the fear feels like something else is in control. It makes the organ feel giant, larger than him, capable of hurting him.

When I was watching the playthrough, I thought that there was going to be four or five "I hope it hurts." I thought it would represent each person Jimmy hurts, or all of them, because he hurts himself too. When the sixth came, I thought so much for that theory. But then, I thought about it and there's the fetus. That makes six.

So, I hope this hurts means "I want to hurt you the way I've been hurt. The way you've hurt me." It's Jimmy saying that if his life has been wrecked, he'll wreck yours. It's Jimmy saying he'll shut you up. It's Jimmy saying he'll burn everything down if it means he can maintain control, or even just the illusion of it.

Part Six: Pain

But I think there's another side to this. Like some of the other lines I said feel are mocking him, I think I hope this hurts turns against Jimmy, especially here. And more than that, pain (and by extension, pain medication) plays a massive role in the game, after all. So I hope this hurts feels as if it haunts every moment where it's involved.

Jimmy says this the first time he gives Curly his pills. Pain is how we know we're still living.

The pills are clearly connected to death from the start. If "pain is how we know we're still living" then pain is connected to life and freedom from it is connected to death. That's saying nothing of Anya's use of the pills to kill herself. I think this connects back to the crash, as well. If life is pain, death is an escape from it.

I think it's also significant that the act of swallowing the pain pills is in and of itself painful.

The pills that are meant to take the pain away become a method of torturing Curly. It's a way to make him hurt, and to exert control over him. Even something that should take away his suffering is just an extension of it.

At one point, Jimmy says "Once these are out, we'll have nothing to keep him quiet." In this sense, the pain pills are meant to suppress, not to heal (Through silence!). They're supposed to shut Curly up and keep him from expressing his anguish in the only way he has left (the noises that disturb Jimmy's sleep).

Others have compared this, or Curly's state, to how Anya has been forced to bottle up her own suffering. Jimmy is keeping them both quiet, or at least attempting to. The ultimate form of keeping them quiet would be to, of course, kill them all.

The pills can also be seen as an attempt to hide or conceal the hurt that has been caused rather than to actually heal. In this way, they're like the mouthwash: something that's not really helping, just covering up an issue (and thus making it worse). And the mouthwash represents Jimmy's attempts to "fix" things. He doesn't actually want to make things right, because that would mean taking accountability. He wants to protect his own ego by "fixing" things in a mimicry of Curly "fixing" things in which he wants to create a sense of "rightness" without actually adressing what (or who) has been wronged. Jimmy can't stand to look at himself, because he would see that he really is constructed of his worst moments, or at least, that's what I suspect he would see.

Conclusion

Considering all of this, I hope this hurts can then become a mantra about living in spite of everything. I hope this hurts means "I hope I'm alive in the end. I hope we're all alive in the end." It could mean "I hope I'm allowed to hurt, because I am hurt, and the harm that's been done to me must be seen rather than suppressed and hidden." It could mean "You can't keep me quiet. You can't ignore or hide what you've done to me."

Maybe most of all, I think it means I hope you reap what you sow. When it's turned back on Jimmy, when it's almost mocking or haunting him, it becomes in part about his emotional weakness. About his inability to look at himself and his reality without experiencing the pain of humiliation. I don't think he ever experiences half of the pain he's inflicted on those around him. Still, he has to deal with the fact that his attempt to hurt others instead of facing himself has caused him more pain rather than taken it away as he'd hoped.

And I think that's why he suddenly decides to make Curly a "hero" instead of a "villain." There's a tipping point where he's pushed into a corner. The pain is too much. He hasn't confronted his own actions in any real way, but he's done enough that he can't stand to save himself anymore. It hurts too badly to live with what he's done. It sends him into another stage of fantasy/delusion. The only thing left to do is what he intended to from the start: kill himself to escape and damn Curly to a slow death. Because to go on living in spite of the pain would be the right thing to do, in a sense. To live in the hell of his own creation. To face what he's done. But instead, he'll entrust those heroics to Curly.

This feels barely coherent in the end, so I might come back in a few days and say wow what the fuck was I talking about? But hopefully there's something here that captures some truth. Again, please feel free to correct me if I'm misremembering anything or if I missed something.

[euniexenoblade]

I debated if I wanted to mock this post/screenshot for a couple hours and i decided I was just gonna go in line by line and dissect it

"being poly is a choice you make. not an identity you cannot change."

I disagree. I struggled with this through most of my teens and early twenties. The desire to be with multiple people was strong and the concept that I couldn't be with all of them was very confusing and hurtful not just to me, but the people I was with. Had I been taught what polyamory is younger and had known that monogamy is not actually the only way you're allowed to be, i'd have probably been able to stop struggling with this much sooner. Do I think this was as big of a mental struggle as being gay or trans? Nah. But it was certainly an issue that ate away at me.

As much as polyamory was a choice, so was me being trans was a choice. I would say both are inherent to who I am. Just because something isn't inherent to your identity, doesn't mean it isn't inherent to mine.

The second paragraph is a gross misinterpretation of what was said. I said abused poly people in relationships they cannot escape will likely cheat when they do find love. The same is true for monogamous people who cannot escape relationships. This happens all the fucking time. To women. To gay people. To trans people. To poly people. This is so utterly common it's an overused trope in story telling.

"OBVIOUSLY abusive situations aside"

The post was about abusive situations. You're already throwing away the core concept to the post.

"why are you staying with someone you are completely incompatible with"

This shows how this person has no value for relationships. Just because you realize you're poly doesn't mean your feelings for an individual disappears. You want to see if this relationship can still work, whether monogamous or polyamorous. Not to mention so many people would find themselves homeless or penniless by just leaving. There's no actual understanding of love and relationships and the heart here.

"you don't need to pursue any kind of relationship ever"

And gay people don't have to be in gay relationships. Trans people don't have to transition. Doesn't change the longing to experience what you want to experience.

"where exclusivity is agreed upon"

I know poly people who entered relationships under the premise the other person was poly, just for that person to decide "actually I'm monogamous, and I'll kill myself if you leave me." You have no understanding or empathy.

"wanting to be poly does not excuse cheating what is wrong with you people"

Look I agree cheating sucks and violates trust, but acting like it's the worst thing in the history of ever is just childish. I get it hurts but at the end of the day, you do not own another person's body and sometimes shit happens. I just do not care what other people do with their own bodies and you cannot make me believe I'm supposed to care. If my husband goes and fucks someone without my permission (which he commonly does) then that's rad. I hope he has fun. If my wife goes and fucks someone I don't know (which she regularly does) then fuck yeah I hope they both had fun. Y'all are too fucking uptight.

Also the tags

The "monogamous people are losers and shouldn't get a say in anything" was something I said in reply to a heckler on my 'monogamous people often abuse poly partners' post. To take it solely as 100% serious opinion is foolish and childish.

"I cheated cuz waaa"

I've never cheated on any partner. The post isn't even saying it's ok cheat, it's saying that poly people get branded as cheaters whether they do or don't. But I'll say it here just because it's so controversial that it pisses losers off: it's ok for polyamorous people to cheat on monogamous partners. Get out before they abuse you.

[nathaniacolver]

i feel like tumblr NEEDS to know about Dr. Ally Louks, and the term "Olfactory Ethics"

(long post incoming)

storytime/timeline:

on november 27, 2024, an excited English Literature PhD recipient posted a picture of herself with her thesis, titled:

"Olfactory Ethics: The Politics of Smell in Modern and Contemporary Prose"

as you can see (on the bottom row, above), the tweet has been viewed over 119 MILLION times, and has received over 250k likes. unfortunately, within days (most of the replies dating december 1st), she had garnered what seems like every possible insecure man with a twitter account to post their vitriol and rage concerning the fact that a woman is clearly more well-researched than them. regardless, she tanked it ALL with kindness and with a smile:

AND I MEAN VITRIOL (queen of making boundaries clear):

(inserting reading break for the timeline's space's sake):

here's her abstract:

and in case the abstract wasn't clear, she has since (date: december 16th) taken the time to re-summarize her thesis for the layman (yes that is a link! click it! 3min read!)

she has repeatedly shown just the perfect amount of kindness and understanding for those who are simply Not Comprehending (mostly december 1st):

(the chatGPT hate in the next one is my favorite:)

has upheld an incredibly high moral standard of how she interacts with the situation (december 2nd):

ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS: regardless of this crap, she made it clear that as a professor, her FIRST priority at the end of the semester would be taking care of them (december 3rd)

(CAN SHE GET MORE BASEDDDDDDDDDD)

she stays both 1) educating the masses, and 2) engaging with pop culture as much as a normal person would (december 9th-17th):

she also supports a free palestine (WHO IS SURPRISED. NOT ME.) ((december 15th))

here's the BEST FREAKING THING ABOUT THIS. since this all has happened, RANDOM TWITTER USERS, UNKNOWINGLY, have REPEATEDLY proven her thesis to be true,

again,

and again,

AND AGAIN.

EVEN CARDI B DO YOU HEAR MEEEEEEEE

COMBATING MISOGYNOIR WITH HER OWN BARE HANDSSSSS

oh she knows she's mother

here's some more she never saw/commented on (INCLUDING SOME FROM TODAY. IT IS STILL GOING ON. EVERY SINGLE DAY LIKE CLOCKWORK SOMEONE POSTS SOMETHING THAT PROVES HER POINTS ABOUT OLFACTORY ETHICS):

THE WICKED MOVIE REFERENCE HELLO

apparently, OTHER academics are mad at her for being so famous and influential, but she stays unbothered (december 16th, and TODAY, december 19th):

and she's partially getting her post-doc on how people's sense of smell has been altered (december 1st):

and the best part is!

all of these screenshots i've collected are only a SAMPLE, illustrating dr. louks' indomitably kind and ethical character.

anyway. i want ALL of y'all to start saying, out loud, "olfactory ethics", or even better, "dr. louks was RIGHT" (something something women's names are erased something) every time you see something that plays into her thesis. never let her influence die. THINK THROUGH what you're REALLY saying when you comment on the smell of something, or how your perception has been shaped by society. USE THIS PHOTO IF YOU HAVE TO:

follow her on twitter (@DrAllyLouks) or bluesky (idk her handle, if someone tells me i'll edit it in)

AND SAY HER NAME!! DR. ALLY LOUKS

[itstheghostofmypast]

21.19

University AU Choi San x (F)Reader

Summary: He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake - at this point, she was borderline afraid of him and his correct judgement.

Genre: Fluff

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: None

Word Count: 838

Est.Read Time: 4 min

Networks: @cromernet @k-labels @illusionnet

Banner: @cafekitsune

A/N: wow two in one day? Damn, I must be desperate.

“Am I drooling?” Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand she pushed her glasses up her face, resting them on top of her head, using them to keep the hair off her face, glaring at the man on the screen. Of course, he'd do this every time she'd decide to stay in and revise - moron.

The day had begun like any other gruelling day, weekend, or not, Friday was merely just the same as Monday for her. Considering she didn't have classes tomorrow, there was only one thing she was going to do, revise, something she'd encourage him to do as well, until he'd hit her with the “I study five days a week, I can relax over the weekend.”

Sure, that's easy to say when you're Choi San, boy wonder, the golden boy, lady luck would just follow him around - not that she was any better. Point is, sometimes it came naturally to him, he may not be the smartest but he was always the most confident and well liked and on any other day she would've been giggling and giddy at the thought of him having eyes only for her, not today though.

With a scoff she swiped to the next picture, and the next, until her breath hitched at the last one, something about the closeup picture had every ounce of feminism leave her body, her eyes flickered to the caption, her face flushing at the cookie emoji, her words ringing in her ears, “You're so hot Sannie, I could bake cookies on you!”

In her defense, she was severely drunk that night, and severely tired of her pent up feelings for the man who she had been mutually pinning on for two whole semesters but was too afraid to make a move, and he was too afraid of pushing her away- until of course Choi Jongho took them out for a couple of drinks. Turns out her tolerance was worse than San's, two shots in and she was wasted, leaning against the man’s side, mumbling about how bad her day was, and then somehow ended up saying that.

She shivered at the stupid flashback, visibly cringing at the memory, to think she had just opened her account to sift through stupid reels, to relax for ten minutes, and now for the past forty minutes she had just been staring at the three pictures, as if she had not been more intimate with the man- perhaps it was true, he was hotter with clothes on, or perhaps she just needed to wash her mind with some bleach.

Scoffing at the thought, she took a shameless screenshot of each picture - no, she was not going to ask him to send these pictures to her? What to prove him right? To boost his ego? No, thank you, one should never inflate the balloon of ego man carries around with him.

She had placed the phone down and picked up a pen, but the loud ringer had her squeak like a mouse, fumbling with the pen before she picked up her phone blindly,

“H-hello!?”

“...You saw, but you didn’t like…are you playing hard to get?”

She scoffed at the audacity of this bastard, leaning against her seat, “Didn’t see anything special.”

‘Darling, if I come home and find screenshots-”

“Why are you shamelessly thirst-trapping your girlfriend anyway?” She cut him off instantly, making a mental note to delete the pictures later.

“Because she won't pay attention to me!” He whined, she could ‘hear’ his pout, especially when added in his pouty complaint, “We could be devouring this platter together- and-and then we could have had the mint-choco couple's special!”

With a sigh, she pinched the bridge of her nose, “And then spend the entire weekend at the gym like a dog?”

“Woof! Woof! Sounds like a date,” he snorted, pressing the phone between his ear and shoulder as he struggled with the keys, letting out a hearty laugh at her joke.

“Careful don't let Mingi hear you barking like that!”

“I'll make sure of that, now if I were you, I'd put away those horrid notes,” he mumbled closing the door behind him as he walked towards their room, ignoring her whining and complaining, one he could now hear live as well before he stood at the door frame and cleared his throat, catching her all curled up against the desk, in her swivel chair.

She turned to look at him, almost dying at the thought of an intruder then visibly relaxing at the sight of her lover, neither of the two hanging up.

“Ice-cream? And then we can cram together?” He spoke into the phone, raising the plastic bag to show her a tub of mint chocolate ice cream.

Rubbing her chin she pretended to think about his offer, only to giggle when he came stomping closer threatening to place the wet bag on her notes, earning a squeal from her, before she hugged him by the waist pulling him closer, looking up at him, with a smile, one that matched his, both staring at each other like love-sick puppies “That's not a bad offer, Mr.Choi.”

Taglist: @edenesth @skteezcursed @mlysalt @the-kpop-simp @spooo00oky @bunnyluvr25 @s-h-y-a @ateezswonderland

[nullbojack]

The drama is everything wrong with the Eternitydev community

This post will be long as I'm listing every wrong doing this community has done. For almost 2 years I've been watching this drama and I am just annoyed and disappointed how childish this community is. Even MrDrNose doesn't behave like a mature adult like he should.

I won't name any of the cuprite behind the harassment and death threats because this will just incite more drama. 1. Malicious harassment and slander of the Doc writer who is 16 years old! The person who wrote the document known as the "MrDrNose and the Eternitydev Community Exposed" is "Proto-Kaiden". Who is a minor who wrote the document to call out the wrong doing of the community after they were bullied and harassed out of there.

Of course it wasn't about the harassment. As it shared some other topics such as the concerning choices the developer has made toward the game (Inserting more easter eggs and a repeated 'fetish inserts' of a character instead of focusing more on building the game more), or the time the moderators refused to ban an exposed pedophile from their server after numerous minors were sexually harassed. Now these are concerns that needed to be brought up, and some people have agreed that this is something that need to be resolved. However there are a terribly amount of fans who responded with harassments and threats. These people were upset to see a document on their developer and decided to stalk and harass this minor and continually send threats, insults and tried to spread lies about them to try and get more people to harass them. They even made a subreddit which had around 40 - 50 members all dedicated to try and "Remove Kaiden". Thankfully it was banned, but the fact people went this far over a document is disgusting and not okay. We are supposed to be a "Mature Community" yet can't behave like decent human beings and went to target a 16 year old because they wanted to silence him. They even try excuse their actions by bringing up what he done (That being that he "starts fight in the server" however when I look into this, this is not true and that its the mods who started fights about him for doing almost anything,) or just making up baseless claims.

They even went as far to slander him of being a PEDO with no proof.

Of course it wasn't just Kaiden that they targeted, they targeted people who would take his side, even people who wanted to stay away from the drama were harassed because they agree with the document. This isn't okay and that needs to stop. What make this bad is that MrDrNose enables this behavior and pretends this isn't happening despite many people bringing this up. Not only that he even punish those who goes against the harassment.

On the Eternitydev Wiki three people (one of which is a mod) got banned because they argued with an individual who has been trying to harass Kaiden. Unfortunately I do not have the screenshot of the entire thread as it was removed, but I remember the people that got banned from that thread who called out the harasser for their behavior.

2. MrDrNose had the chance to resolve this drama with Kaiden but choose to throw it away and ghosted the drama.

The biggest disappointment is that MrDrNose have enable this drama to continue. Early this year he was confronted by his own fans on Itch.io (it was a crappy drama that happen over a ingame file titled 'Ariral sex treehouse',) that he could discuss this with Kaiden and resolve this issue so that everybody can be satisfied. He said he will give it a try. However he didn't do anything to even talk to him and actually ghosted the situation and try to keep people from talking about it. As shown by Kaiden himself, Nose did not dm him on twitter or discord.

This actually annoyed me but this drama is still happening because MrDrNose did not want to confront about it and settle it. When it was asked if he did contact Kaiden, Nose would make claims that he did but that he would claim that Kaiden was demanding. He did not provide any screenshots to prove that he did contacted Kaiden and was accused of lying to try and keep the drama going. MrDrNose would respond by banning a few accounts from the comment format and he would change the Itch.Io comment format and have his moderators delete any comments that asked about the drama. It is completely shitty for MrDrNose to let the drama continue for a long time without ACTUALLY trying anything to resolve it peacefully and instead hides from it enable weird people to harass people who goes on the Document's side. What MrDrNose did wrong is enable a conflict that could of been ended so much earlier if he actually care to end it. Instead he ghosted it and let people be harassed over it. I don't even get why he would let this continue. Does he like the drama? Does he like negative attention? Either way, This just hurts the entire community and it's reputation and that will affect the game's popularity because people will be turned off from wanting to share content about VotV because of this hostile and toxic community full of overzealous man-babies who will fight to the end of the earth until Kaiden is gone from the internet.

I don't think I need to explain what he should of done to make a better outcome. It's obvious what he should of done instead of what he just did. 3. MrDrNose is immature and it becomes a problem. MrDrNose's is undeniably immature, and this lack of maturity has caused some issues which make people turn on him. Instead of acting like an adult, he acts like a complete child and antagonize people. For a while now he's been confronted by old fans who has issues regarding if he will ever truly remake the game "Advanced Education with Viktor Strobovski" like he said he would. These fans have lost their trust with MrDrNose after he suddenly deleted 'AEwVS specific channels' and made the server entirely VotV focused. Because of this, fans go out to call him out. And MrDrNose would respond the worse way possible by threatening to delete AEwVS off the face of the earth.

And surprise! This causes more conflict in the community.

My next example of how immature is that he degrade people who call him out, referring to them to be "Mentally ill".

This just make everyone see him as an ableist assholes. Which he is an asshole. Just calling people mentally ill as a way to cope with being called out for his flaws is unprofessional at best and will make people turn on him more for acting this way. One last example of his immaturity is when he told about why he is getting hated.

I don't really need to point out why this is immature. If he sees issues about himself such as "sexualizing characters in public channels" (Inside of a discord server that have members below the age of 17) and "Backstabbing his older fans" as something that "only children will care about," it just make everyone look at him as someone who is not to be trusted if he does not recognize what is right or wrong. It actually pisses me off how a grown ass man cannot acknowledge to why people turn on him and act confused and mad about it and resort to calling them "children" and "mentally ill" for it.

MrDrNose actually need to rethink how he's been behaving and need to learn that lashing out like this will make things worse for himself. The best salutation is to listen to people and respond like a reasonable adult instead of a child. Instead of threatening to delete a game to keep old fans hush hush about it. He should instead reassure that eventually he will remake the game, and I think the best way to convince the old fans to trust him is to share hints of ideas of what he may add in the Remake of AEwVS. Instead of treating issues about his server as nothing but "something that children only care about," he should instead admit that these things are wrong and that he should do better and make sure to not make these mistakes again.

If he continue to behave like this, the game might as well be doom to fail if he can't get his crap together and behave like an adult. People can and will get sick and tired of this and will move onto another game that will explode in popularity. I already know that tons of people have move on from the game. The game ain't exactly being developed properly. Sure it does get updated that add a few major changes, but along in the update are just a dozen "Easter eggs and secrets" that doesn't even need to be added. The game has enough secret easter eggs yet MrDrNose still add 23 more easter eggs in the game despite it not even being necessary. I find it to be kinda lazy if the developer works on these "Major updates" and half of it is just a dozen easter eggs.

It gets very annoying and get people tired of having all this crap be shoved into the game instead of real content such as new Entities, Signals and events. MrDrNose honestly should actually work on the game where he adds more entities and signals instead of making 25 easters eggs. There is ENOUGH easter eggs in the game. 4. Why am I making this post? I'm just completely tired of people being completely ignorant and going around hurting others. People need to grow up and just accept that these are real issues that can't be shrugged off, and not going around throwing baseless pedo accusation to harm a minor for writing a document. The only way the community can become better if the people in it become better human beings that behave civilized and understanding, while the bad ones get exiled from the fanbase. And I wanted to point out to MrDrNose that he should grow up and learn to stop behaving like this child that get cranky that they get called out for not being perfect. If you are reading this, MrDrNose. There is no question that your game is great. However, just because your game is great doesn't mean you can't make mistakes. You remain accountable for your deeds, the conduct of the community, and the consequences that result. Give up trying to prove that you did nothing wrong and simply acknowledge that you made poor decisions and that you need to improve. Is that really difficult? The popularity of your game will suffer as a result of the many bad actors in your community has done. Plenty of people have already left the community because of a lack of hope or interest. You can still make an effort to show people that you're going to do much better and make changes that will hopefully make a much better future for the people in the community. The best way to start is by settling this drama.

[the-masked-ram]

Fics for Gaza

Here I am taking the plunge. I'm a small blog but fast writer even when it comes to my slower times. So might as well put it to good use.

Planning on joining this fundraiser run by @ficsforgaza and help make everyone happy with some content in the process. Here is my plan of action for my wip and donation costs.

To participate- please make a donation to a vetted fundraiser and send a screenshot/proof of your donation to me in a DM. PLEASE MAKES SURE TO CENSOR ALL YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION. (internet safety and all that jazz). In the message also let me know what fic you are donating to and I will adjust expected word counts. These screenshots are merely for keeping things as honest as possible and will be shared with @ficsforgaza

-I obviously will not be taking the money myself. Please send it to one of the vetted fundraisers mentioned in the link below.

$5.00 per 800 words or a full drabble series installment

Link to vetted places to donate here! More fundraisers here!

As soon as 50% of any of the fics are sponsored I will automatically start on them.

Drabble series-

Sweet and Sour- Ren Kaji x Fem Reader Drabble Series

Your the new girl in the city. You are tough, sassy, but don't know a lick about the gangs, and if your honest you couldn't care less. But something about Ren Kaji catches your eye. He may snap and bark like a feral dog, but you can see through it and he knows it too. Slowly, you become his sanctuary even though you are the one person he's most afraid won't accept him. And he thought he was past all that. (NSFW)

5.00 for full installment

Read Part One here!

False Immunity- Hiei x Fem Reader Drabble Series

Where Hiei learns the ins and out of human courtship. (NSFW)

Find Part One-Six on my masterlist here! 5.00 for full installment

Multichap Fics-

Flawed Hope- Astarion x OC (BG3)

Brit was a paralegal, someone who had a normal life and enjoyed what she did for the most part. Yet, the only true excitement she felt lately was when she played Baldur's Gate Three. A simple video game brought her more joy than her friends or fleeting romances. One night as depression crushes her she wishes to live one day in BG3. Her wish is granted, however the world of BG3 needs her far longer than her wish had originally intended. And the worst part? She does not get along with her favorite vampire in the slightest. (NSFW)

Read the first four chaps here! WC: 1961/4000

Falling for Frogs- Sebastian x Fem Reader (SDV)

You are game developer about to make their debut into the market. The world you are about to venture into isn't exactly friendly to those of the feminine persuasion and as such you have flown under the radar using a masculine alias online. After a complete mental break down at a very important convention in Zuzu you realize you need to get away from the city for a bit so you can finish your game. Your best friend who runs a farm in Stardew Valley invites you to come stay with her. However as you stay there and get to know the locals, you realize the cute boy you saw at the con is her neighbor. What's even worse is he remembers you and just to add salt to the wound, he's one of your Kickstarters. (NSFW) WC: 309/3000

Read the first three chaps here!

The Unseen and Those Forgotten- Dabi x Fem Reader (BNHA)

The age of the Greek gods is long past. Dabi is one of the few left, his name in the ancient days had been Hades. Now he skulks among the humans, as a deity at half strength. With the old gods dying, the new ones have taken control of the humans’ feeble minds. There is a storm on the horizon though, quite literally, the end of days is nipping at mortality’s heels and the key to unlocking Kronos’s resting place, the only creature strong enough to put a stop to the apocalypse, is you. Sadly you have no idea what part you will play, after all, you are just an office worker who has an affinity for plants.... WC: 0/2000

Find the first three chaps on my masterlist here!

The Hellebore Rift- Hayato Suo x Fem Reader (Wind Breaker)

The town of Makochi has changed and so have all the gangs within it. Gone are the days of allies and rival schools. Gone are the days of delinquents battling for top spots and coming home with happy smiles from good fist fights. Now the world has been ripped apart by rifts that tear the very dimensions in two, spewing forth gigantic blood-thirsty monsters. It has forced the gangs to protect only their parts of town from everyone. Even the civilians, even those they once called friends. With those rifts and monsters, humans were gifted with powers, yet everything good always comes with a fall out. You are one of those few, blessed with the ability to Guide, to save those Espers from the toxicity that their own powers created within themselves when they protect their parts of town. You live in a small section Makochi outside any of the gangs control with a scant few Espers to call your own… or well you did until the day Hayato Suo found you. WC 313/2000

(Chapter one just started)

Oneshots-

Dog Park with Megumi (no title yet)- You don't have dogs but you find yourself at the dog park everyday because you can't have pets. That's where you meet Megumi Fushiguro (NSFW)WC: 0/15000

A Bouquet of Deadly Thorns- Hanahaki Soulmate Gojo x Fem Reader

The world now is riddled with the phenomenon known as soulmates. You don't know yours but before you can even think about finding them, you must get rid of your growing feelings for Satoru Gojo, the only problem is they've grown suffocating and you've started coughing up blood and flower petals. (NSFW) WC: 3098/8000

Tetsuro Kuroo bar night (no title yet)- The first night you meet Kuroo he was celebrating with his friends who'd just won their volley ball game. You were drinking away your sorrows yet again from another shitty date. Fate had a funny way of making you forget things when he gets dared to make a move on you. (NSFW) WC: 0/10,000

My name in your mouth- Professional Poker Player!Suo Hayato x CardShark Fem!Reader Suo Hayato is well known in the gambling circuit, he strikes fear in all his opponents. Terrified that they will lose all the winnings and perhaps even worse to him. You however are a dark horse, a rising star lurking in the shadows among the tables, and you have the arrogance to back it up. You take Suo on and surprise him in more ways then one. But he's desperate to wrest back control from you and the rising sexual tension between the two of you gives him the perfect excuse. (NSFW) WC: 0/7000

Single Drabbles- 5.00 for a full drabble

Jo Togame festival day (sfw) - Link

Jo Togame the baths (NSFW) - Link

Nobara/fem! reader (jjk) (NSFW) shopping day, in the dressing room

Himuro tatsuya/male! reader (knb) (NSFW) pining, street ball rivals

Seishiro Nagi/gn!reader (blue lock) (SPICEY (not full nsfw)) comfort, lazy day, reuniting after long distance for a while

Sebastain/fem! reader (SDV) (nsfw) phone sex

Astarion/male!reader (BG3) (NSFW) dry humping, semi public sex Suo Hayato/fem!reader (wind breaker)(NSFW) overstimulation

[xxlemon-chanxx]

Important. PLEASE READ!!

For those of you who may not know, which I suspect is probably most of you, I had an interaction with a pro/comship blog (@toh-proship-positivity) about three weeks ago that ended in them accusing a fellow artist, a-magpie-in-gravesfield, of extremely heinous things. I originally was not going to respond to them simply because I didn't want to be bothered with such drama during the holidays. Still, these claims irritated me because, even just from my conversations with this blog and witnessing their behavior firsthand, I knew their claims were likely untrue or, at the very least, exaggerations. I am happy to announce that my intuition was correct and that the claims made about Magpie WERE NOT TRUE.

Several people approached me regarding this, and I also sought a few individuals out myself to look for answers. They provided ample proof, including screenshots, receipts, and conversations between the accuser and the accused, that prove without a shadow of a doubt in my mind that Magpie is innocent of all claims levied against him.

I, along with the help of a few others, gathered as much information as I could find, organized it, and created a master list of evidence to combat every accusation. I am going to share the folder that holds the drama overview as well as every document that was used as an external link. Here are the links to the folder and overview, respectively.

This folder with all related documents will also be downloadable as a zip file on Dropbox to anyone who wishes to have a copy for themself. DM me asking for the download link, and I will provide it to you.

This is not meant to be an attack on the person who levied the claims against Magpie, and this is NOT a call to harassment. This needs to be put out into the open so that this drama inside the Wittebane community can cease.

Here is a direct message from Magpie regarding the situation:

"I just wanted to clarify that I had no hand in making the document itself. I was approached by multiple people asking for my side of the evidence / answering questions about the timeline of things / etc. I myself never look at Horse's posts because I don't want to give any of my time to things like this (and tbh I thought they would have stopped by now). Please don't message me about this. This has been going on for over a year now, and I don't want to focus on negativity. I have already provided a lot of information to the people who made this doc. I also DO NOT condone any kind of harassment towards anyone, including anyone mentioned in this document. I did not ask for this document to be made (actually, for a long time I actively discouraged people from doing it because I thought it wasn't necessary), but because multiple slanderous accusations that included my name were recently brought up to me by people I had never interacted with before as well as friends, and Horse does not seem to have stopped, I figured I would provide my side of things to people who asked as to give answers to anyone who might have heard of this situation. This document was in no way meant to encourage bullying of any kind. Please stay safe everyone!"

[yooniesim]

Statement from Overwolf

...Okay, first of all, this whole statement is sadly nothing but them taking the same exact route as before: misdirecting & changing the narrative to only be about "victims" when their Home Support initiative is partnered with the ILF, an openly Zionist organization. This isn't about innocent parties only when they're partnered with an organization that contributes directly towards IDF Military Intelligence. All of the money from the fund goes to the ILF's bank account to distribute, per their own FAQ page. And even without that, the association alone is enough to boycott. Overwolf and Curseforge cannot be "clean of politics" while their CEO partners with and therefore directly supports Zionist parties.

Screenshots directly from Home Support website & ILF website

This statement overall stinks because it puts the blame fully onto people with legitimate concerns by calling them all harassers. Have some people gone too far towards creators? 100%. I know that well. But Overwolf is clearly using that to deflect off of themselves, and this is why it never should have been done in the first place. Y'all focused on the wrong shit- the smaller targets instead of the big ones, and the wrong claim that they're directly funding the IDF with CF revenue, and now they're doing exactly what I said they would: once again using the fact that that's not technically true to weasel out of people's concerns. They even directly call out the fact that it's misinformation like I said they would! They clarified fucking nothing, they repeated the same shit they already said because they know they can. We need to change the focus of the boycott so that they are forced to address their actual wrongdoing! Stop spending all your time sending threatening messages on anon and instead spread factual information with sources and reach out to creators in good faith effort to get them to speak without the fear of being attacked. They will stay silent as long as the negative consequences (financially & socially) is all on them and not Overwolf & EA.

I'm still working on a comprehensive post with everything, but in the meantime, please spread this post around.

[juergenklopp]

How do you make your gifs?

Hello hello! I love talking about gifmaking, so thank you for giving me the chance to ramble.

Instead of a detailed step-by-step walkthrough, I will link tutorials and resources written by the wonderful Tumblr creators on here along the way. Everyone has their method and preferences, and there’s no right or wrong way to make gifs. I’m going to share techniques and resources I picked up along the way that work best for me—they may or may not be suited to your preferences, but I hope you’ll find some helpful things here.

(Warning: screenshot/image heavy)

USEFUL TUTORIALS AND RESOURCES

Here are some tutorials and resources that I found very useful when I got back into gifmaking:

Gifmaking tutorial using video timeline by @hope-mikaelson is identical to my own process

Gifmaking and coloring tutorial by @kitty-forman​, whose process is very similar to my own

Giffing 101 by @cillianmurphy​, an incredibly detailed tutorial that covers everything you need, including a step-by-step guide to using HandBrake

Gifmaking and coloring tutorial with 4K HDR footage by @sith-maul​, another incredibly detailed tutorial with many useful tips

Gifmaking tutorial by @jeonwonwoo, incredibly comprehensive and covers so many aspects of gifmaking from basics, sharpening, captioning, and text effects

Gifmaking/PS tips and tricks by @payidaresque

Action pack by @anyataylorjoy​, the Save action is especially a true life-saver

@usergif and @clubgif are amazing source blogs with many tutorials on gifmaking, color grading, and gif effects, can’t be thankful enough for the members for their work curating and creating for these blog!

TOOLS

Adobe Photoshop CS6 or higher, any version that supports video timeline. @completeresources​ has many links to download Photoshop, have a look!

Photopea is a free alternative to Photoshop, but it has a slightly different UI, check out these tutorials for gifmaking with Photopea

HandBrake or any other video encoder, especially if you’re working with .MKV formats 

4Kvideodownloader for downloading from YouTube, Vimeo, Instagram, etc.

OBS Studio or any other similar screen capturing software. To prevent duplicate frames in gifs that prevents your gifs from looking smooth, try to match the recording frame rate (FPS) with the source.

IMPORTING FOOTAGE AND WORKING IN VIDEO TIMELINE

I work exclusively in video timeline instead of importing video frames to layers or loading files into stack. For videos that don’t require converting/encoding using HandBrake, especially ones that are already in .MP4 format, I tend to open the video directly on Photoshop, and trim the videos around directly.

As mentioned above, this gifmaking tutorial using video timeline is exactly how I make gifs. I find it more efficient, especially if you’re making multiple gifs from the same video/the same scene with little to no change in lighting conditions You can simply slide around sections of gifs you want to save, and they will all be the same length.

Another thing also covered in the tutorial linked is the ability to change video speed in video timeline mode. Right click on the video and set the speed before proceeding with cropping/resizing. This is also very useful when you’re making blended gifs where you need the footage to have the same length.

Slowing footage down.

As mentioned in this post, changing the FPS before slowing down the gif results in smoother gifs. Doubling the frame rate before slowing down your gifs usually yields the best result.

Speeding footage up.

I love using this to speed up slow motion B-rolls to make the speed slightly more natural. It will result in nice, smooth gifs:

(B-roll footage, normal broadcast speed)

(200% speed)

Subject won’t stay in frame?

Another feature of the video timeline mode. Keyframes are your best friend. This tutorial by @kangyeosaang covers everything you need to know about panning gifs. I use this technique regularly, it’s a life-saver.

COLORING

Here are some coloring tutorials I found very useful:

Coloring tutorial by @brawn-gp beloved, their coloring style is second to none

Mega coloring tutorial by @yenvengerberg, for stylized /vibrant coloring

Understanding Channel Mixer by @zoyanazyalensky

Coloring rainbow gifs by @steveroger, which delves deep into Channel Mixer

I tend to go for neutral-saturated coloring in general,  especially for minimalist gifsets with no effects (blending/isolated coloring/overlays etc.), but the possibility is endless for stylized coloring. Here’s what my adjustment layers look like for the example gifs above.

The base footage for this Charles gifset is incredibly desaturated. I started with a Curves layer to bring contrast to the gif, as well as do some color-correcting to bring the base footage to a more neutral tone. To bump contrast, I also like to add a black and white Gradient Map layer with a Soft Light blending mode at 10%-30% opacity:

The Vibrance layer is then used to lift the saturation of the base footage, with the Selective Color, Hue/Saturation, and Channel Mixer layers to help remove the green/yellow tint to his skintone.

An underrated adjustment layer/preset in my opinion is the Color Lookup. You can layer in pre-loaded .LUT color grading presets to help speed up your process. For this gif, it’s simply a base preset Soft Warming Look to achieve a warm, pink-tinted tone.

In hindsight I feel like this gifset is too saturated, his skintone is skewing very red/pink, I could’ve bumped down the lightness of the reds with a Selective Color layer or a Hue/Saturation layer. Try to err on the side of neutral for skintones. Experiment with layer orders—there’s no right or wrong! Remember that each layer build up on the one before it.

The base footage of the Jalen gif is already quite nicely color-graded, but it’s still muddy and underexposed. As with the Charles gif, I started with a Curves layer to bring the gif to a better baseline contrast. Then I focus on brightening the gif with the Brightness/Contrast and Exposure layers.

The Hue/Saturation and Selective Color layers are to color-correct Jalen’s skin tone—it’s something I spend most of my time coloring gifs and focus a lot on, especially when color grading BIPOC skintones. Putting a Vibrance layer, upping the Vibrance and Saturation, and calling it a day would make his skintone skew very, very yellow/orange.

Focus on the reds and yellow for skintone, play around with the Saturation and Lightness sliders, use the Hue slider with caution.

It can be tricky to achieve the right skin tone when working with sports footage vs the higher quality, higher dynamic range footage of films or TV shows, but I try to keep it as close to the subject’s natural skintone as possible.

Here are some of tutorials with tips and tricks on coloring BIPOC:

How to fix orange-washed characters by @zoyanazyalensky

How to prevent pink-washing and yellow-washing by @jeonwonwoo

Coloring tutorial by @captain-hen

Changing lighting conditions?

Fret not—this is why I love working in video timeline. I’ll take this gifset as an example: it’s a deceptively difficult one to color. The footage is 720p and the sunlight shifts throughout the video, so matching across gifs was tricky.

My solution was to split the clips in sections with consistent lighting, and apply adjustment layers to the individual sections before applying general color grading layers on top of everything.

We can make use of the Fade Transition effect for sections where the lighting changes within the gif section we want to color.

(without vs with Fade on the Brightness/Contrast layer)

The difference is subtle in this example, but the brightness in the right gif is noticeably more consistent throughout. You can also add the Fade Transition effect to the beginning for a fade in, of course.

SHARPENING AND OPTIMIZING GIF QUALITY

This tutorial by @anya-chalotra​ covers everything you need to know about optimizing gifs for Tumblr.

Sharpening.

Sharpening is essential to making crisp gif images. Here’s another ask I answered re: my own sharpening settings and maximizing gif quality.

(base footage, unsharpened)

(color graded, unsharpened)

(color graded, sharpened)

The final gif is sharpened with Smart Sharpen, 500% at 0.3px and 10% at 10px (my standard sharpening settings).

Here are some tutorials and resources on sharpening:

Sharpening process by @anya-chalotra

Sharpening tutorial with added gaussian blur by @haleths

Sharpening action by @daenerys-stormborn

Size your gifs for Tumblr correctly.

This is essential: full width gifs are 540px wide.Two side-by-side gifs should be 268px wide. Here’s a handy post on gif size guide for Tumblr.

Incorrectly sizing your gifs will take away the quality of your gifs: undersizing your gifs will especially make them grainy, blurry, and /or pixelated, and won’t display correctly on many people’s desktop theme. Oversizing usually isn't as dramatic as undersizing, but it will make the gifset glitch when displayed, and the file size will be unnecessarily bloated.

Work with HD footage if possible.

Media fandoms (films/TV shows) are luckier than us in the sports trenches—we have to work with what we have. Broadcast footage is usually subpar: lacks contrast, pixelated, very desaturated, the list goes on. But it’s possible to still make high quality gifs from subpar footage. Here are a couple of tutorials to mask low source footage quality:

low quality video ➜ “HD” gifs tutorial by @nickoffermen

Sharpening low quality footage by @everglow-ing

(This gifset I made is from a 480p footage with horrendous lighting conditions and colors, and the end result is decent I’d say)

Save for Web (File > Export > Save for Web (Legacy) or Ctrl + Alt + Shift + S) settings.

I default to Adaptive + Diffusion but also use Adaptive + Pattern from time to time. Any combination of Adaptive or Selective + Diffusion or Pattern will give you a good result. In my experience some gifs will need the Selective color table for the colors to display correctly.

Here are my default settings:

SAVING AND EXPORTING FOR TUMBLR

Converting to frames and adjusting the gif speed.

If possible, avoid exporting your gif and reopening it to adjust the frame speed. I used to do this sometimes when I’m lazy, I have to admit, but this is where this Action as mentioned at the beginning comes in very handy. It converts all visible layer into smart object, then converts it back to frame animation.

Step-by-step:

1. Select all layers

2. Right click > Convert to Smart Object

3. Go to the Timeline menu (≡) > Convert Frames > Flatten Frames into Clips

4. Go to the Timeline menu again (≡) > Convert Frames > Convert to Frame Animation

5. In the same menu (≡), select Make Frames from Layers

6. Delete the first frame (it’s a duplicate) then set your frame speed

Now you can adjust the frame speed before exporting it (Save for Web).

Pay attention to the source framerate.

The frame delay of 0.05 s is usually the default to make gifs for TV shows and films, and it is preferred by most gifmakers. This stems from the fact that most movies and TV shows are 24 or 25 FPS. This may not be the case for all source videos: you might get 30 FPS footage, and sports or gaming footage can be 50 or 60 FPS. Gif speed also depends on the FPS of your original file. Play around with gif speed and see what feels most natural to you.

My rule of thumb is the frame delay Photoshop gives you + 0.01 s. For example, 50 FPS footage will give you 0.02 s frame delay (25 FPS gives you 0.04, 30 FPS gives you 0.03, etc.), so set it to 0.03 s. I usually err on the side of a faster frame delay for smoothness in in-game sports footage, anything else (interviews, press conferences, B-rolls) can get away with being slowed down. Again, experiment and see what you think looks best!

Keep gifs under the Tumblr file size limit (10 MB).

Cut down the number of frames. My gifs are usually around 60-70 frames for 540px full-width gifs, but depending on the coloring, sometimes you can get away with more. 268px gifs can go up to 200+ frames.

Crop your gifs. Remember to keep full-width gifs at 540px wide, but if necessary, you can crop the height. My go-to sizes are 540x540, 540x500, 540x450, and 540x400.

Amp up the contrast of your gifs. Flat colors like black cut down gif size.

The Grain filter or Noise filter, though beautiful for aesthetics or simply necessary sometimes to mask low source footage quality/pixelating, may bloat your gif size.

Play your gifs back before exporting.

Pay attention to duplicate frames or glitches, you might need to get rid of them!

Hope this is helpful! Don’t hesitate to send an Ask or DM if you need any help, I will happily answer all your questions and send over PSDs. (I’m also on Discord—just shoot me a message if you need my tag!) Happy creating :]

[galedekarios]

you seem to be reputable source to ask this and i haven't found a walkthrough anywhere else, do you know how to trigger the boat scene where gale has already decided not to go after the crown? like where he says you'll always be enough for him.

i've tried so many combinations and can't figure it out! sorry if you've already posted this

thank you for your message!

you have to sway gale away from the crown as best you can over the course of act 2 and 3, and then follow a certain chain of events to set the correct flags to trigger the alternate boat scene.

i've reliably managed to trigger it in act 3 with the following steps:

1: get the annals of karsus from sorcerous sundries

2: don't give gale the annals of karsus right away when he asks for the book

3: go to camp, but not as a long rest -> pick the go to camp option instead

4: speak to elminster and initiate his conversation (he should have a ! over his head and you can initiate the next step in progressing gale's act 3 quest, however: this is sometimes bugged if you haven't unlocked the elfsong tavern yet as a camp space, i.e. elminster will turn up, have a ! over his head, but his dialogue doesn't trigger, essentially soft-locking the quest)

5: go to the stormshore tabernacle to progress the quest

6: pick the option that encourages gale to seek mystra's forgiveness -> Player: Seek her forgiveness, Gale. It might be your only hope of curing the orb.

7: do a long rest

8: the alternate boat scene should trigger with gale at this point (he should be at camp with a ! to show he's ready to speak to the player)

i'll also share a screenshot of the conversation from the files (CAMP_Gale_CRD_ROM_BeMyGod) and highlight which flags are important:

alternate boat scene dialogue

Gale: Ah. You're still talking to me then?ORI_Gale_Knows_KarsiteWeave, LOW_StormshoreTabernacle_State_GaleSeeksForgiveness Gale: I wouldn't blame you for giving me a wide berth. I thought the orb's ever-present censure had tamed my wilder ambition, but that wasn't the case. Gale: I needed Mystra's intervention. She offered me a path to redemption at last, and it might yet leave my mind and body intact. Gale: Please - continue to believe in me. I want to show you the wizard I am capable of being, rather than the poor excuse for a man who's kept you company thus far. - Player (Option 1): I believe in you Gale. Always have, always will. ['Gale 10'] Gale: That's all I ever need to hear. - Player (Option 2): You're willing to give up the chance of unlimited power. I'd say your ambition is under control. Gale: If that's true, it's thanks to you, and the trust you show in me at every turn of this strange adventure of ours. - Player (Option 3): I hope so, because honestly you have been a poor man recently. Especially on the romance front... Gale: I'm sorry. It's not easy living for more than just yourself, when for so long just staying alive was accomplishment enough. - Player (Option 4): You're more to me than magic, Gale. ['Gale 10'] Gale: You stole the words from my mouth. - Gale: I know what I must do. The Crown belongs under Mystra's stewardship, not mine, and I will ensure she gets it. Gale: That means there'll be no permanent place in the heavens for us. But we could still visit. - Player (Option 1): Close your eyes. Gale: Astra navigabimus. - Gale: Few mortals ever glimpse what you're about to see. But don't be alarmed - I'm here with you. Now... open your eyes. Gale: Quite the view, isn't it? The Outer Planes are a place of profound, sometimes overwhelming possibility. Gale: I conjured this illusion often during my confinement in Waterdeep. An escape for the mind, where there was none for the body. Gale: It was easier to stare at the celestial abyss than recognise the emptiness within myself. Easier to pretend my destiny lay among such stars, than work to salvage a life on solid ground. You changed all that. Gale: You see me as I am, and do not find me wanting. With these stars as my witness, I swear - you will always be enough for me. ORI_Gale_State_RejectedBeMyGodProposal ['Gale 10']

as you can see, both the ORI_Gale_Knows_KarsiteWeave (mystra reveals this knowledge to gale at the stormshore tabernacle) and the LOW_StormshoreTabernacle_State_GaleSeeksForgiveness (set by picking the seek her forgiveness option during the stormshore tabernacle scene with the protag, gale and mystra) flags are integral here.

if you want to watch the alternate boat scene, i posted a video of it here.

i hope this was helpful to you! 🖤