#But I merely have money to buy something form the US

[therizossinhh]

I'm so so happy, recently I found someone selling two plushies of Aishas here in Spain and I instally bought them. In Europe and more concretely here in Spain, they isn't much Neopets merch (well.... actually nothing at all)

They were really really cheap so that's why I could bought them ;w;!!!!

I'm thinking of making for them crochet clothes like, silly outfits, I will be posting some when I make one!

[cybersunnie]

knock, knock! who's there?

RAFE CAMERON sets his sights on the baker's granddaughter.

includes fem!baker!reader / reader has a nickname ("honey") / rafe being an unreliable narrator / dialogue heavy / offensive language ("bitch", one fatphobic comment not directed at reader) / wc 984

Every Wednesday, his dad would say, “Rafe, go get the door.” Make yourself useful. And like a dog, he often did as he was told. 

This little routine started right after Midsummer. Some sorry excuse of a bakery from the Cut captured Sarah’s attention, and she had been hooked ever since. Rafe didn’t understand why. Not in the slightest. There were more qualified bakeries in Figure Eight that weren’t made from the hands of dirty Pogues. He was sure their dad didn’t understand either, but if Sarah wanted something, Sarah got it. Always. 

But holy shit, this grandma was testing his patience. Knock! Knock! She had been knocking non-stop. Was she always this annoying? Rafe scratched his temple, his jaw tight. Knock! Knock! He rolled his eyes.

She sure must be in a hurry. He was surprised the old bitch was still alive, let alone walking. All frail and trembling and one step away from a heart attack. 

He hated that that would be his future. If he lived that long, that was.

Knock! Knock! “Yeah, yeah, coming!”

Rafe swung the door open. She was lucky she was an old lady because he would have—

Not an old lady.

No, it was just a lady. The baker's granddaughter, if he wasn't mistaken. He had seen you at the Midsummer, but you were a Pogue working, and he was a Kook celebrating.

His fingers loosened around the doorknob, his gaze locked on your face. For once, the voices were quiet. 

You stood on his family’s front porch, holding a box with a clipboard tucked under your arm. The wind picked up, sweeping past you and into his home. A scent of something sweet filled his nostrils. He couldn't tell if it came from the baked goods or you. 

With ease, you gave him a practiced smile. “Hey, I've got an order for Sarah. Two chocolate strawberry cupcakes and a half-dozen chocolate matcha cookies. Is she here?”

Rafe stared at you. "Uh, yeah. But you know, I'll pay for it."

He usually did, anyway—not by choice, but because his dad wanted him to.

"Okay, that'll be twenty-five dollars." You extended your hand.

"Twenty-five? It was twenty last week."

You tilted your head, still smiling. He knew how Pogues like you worked. It was a mask to hide your true intentions. "Inflation. Prices have gone up, so we had to adjust."

Skeptical, he looked you up and down. "Inflation, huh?"

You raised your brows. "You don't know what inflation is?" 

He scoffed, running his tongue along the inside of his cheek. He’d much rather deal with your grandma right now—at least she wasn't such a smartass.

Rafe reached for his wallet and grumbled, "I know what inflation is." He handed you the exact change. "You better not be lying, Pogue."

"I'd never lie to a loyal customer's brother," you assured, taking his money and offering the box of baked goods. He didn't believe you for a second. As he grabbed the package, you took out the clipboard from under your arm and faced it to him, clicking the pen. "Sign here, please."

He skimmed over the delivery receipt. “Am I gonna see you ‘round here more often?”

“Maybe. If your sister keeps buying.”

"Can I at least get a name?"

There was a pause. You could hear the birds chirping, and the leaves rustling. Rafe lifted his gaze to meet yours, waiting. 

You pulled the clipboard to your chest. "Everyone calls me Honey."

"Honey?" he huffed, a slight smirk tugging at his lips. "That's cute," he commented half-heartedly.

You hummed, and he swore he saw your professional composure slip. You looked annoyed—maybe even flustered. As he handed the pen back, his fingers brushed yours, the mere touch electrifying.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Sarah appeared behind him before the words could form, her voice cutting through the air, “And I’ll be taking this, thank you very much!” She snatched the box from his hands and flashed you a smile. “Hey, it’s you. Where’s your grandma?”

Rafe sighed through his nose. He had hoped to have you to himself.

He noticed your shoulders tense. "She's at home. Doing deliveries isn't easy for her nowadays."

No shit. That old bitch was pushing ninety. 

He stayed silent.

Sarah nodded, her lips pursed to the side. "Well, tell her Wheezie and I said thank you for the treats."

"Will do.”

He waited for you to meet his gaze, but when you did, he said nothing. Rafe simply watched. You had a pretty face for a Pogue. Soft and delicate, unlike your sharp tongue. What a waste.

Soon, your perfected customer service smile slipped. You turned around, murmuring something about Kooks under your breath as you walked away. He leaned against the doorframe, unable to help but notice the sway of your hips with every step you took.

His sister's voice snapped him back to reality. "What was that about?"

When he looked at her, she was already stuffing her face, a touch of frosting on the tip of her nose. There was a knowing look in her eyes. It pissed him off. 

Change the topic. Deflect. 

"You're gonna get fat if you keep ordering that shit."

Sarah shrugged. "Whatever." And just to spite him, she took a bigger bite and started walking towards the kitchen. "Wheezie! The cupcakes and cookies are here!"

Rafe ran a hand down his face, eyes finding your retreating form. 

Honey. Oh, how had he never noticed you before? 

You were always there. Midsummer. The Boneyard. It was too bad you lived in the fucking Cut because that meant you were just like them. Those Pogues—scrappy, uncivil, liars. Not even your pretty face could redeem that part of you. But maybe, just maybe, you were different.

Rafe shut the door softly, his hand lingering on the knob. He just needed to figure you out.

sunnie speaks! i love my baker!reader and how she makes him spiral <3 also, lmk what you guys think because idk how i feel about this LMAO i doubt i'm going to write a part 2, but i'm open to exploring this dynamic!!! let's chat about rafe cameron / baker!reader

if you like my work, consider following @sunniefics to stay up to date on all my future fics!

[imjustasimpxd]

Something Old, Something New

(Chapter One)

➬ Ken Sato x Fem reader

Summary : At first glance, Ken Sato seemed to have it all. With money, fame, and success surrounding his name, there was nothing he couldn’t get his hands on. They say money can buy happiness. That may be true to an extent, however, can money buy forgiveness? Unfortunately for Ken, no amount of money and influence can turn back time and change the past. No amount of bribery can erase the fact that he had chosen to abandon his wife in favor of pursuing his baseball career. That awful decision he made took place five years ago, when he was just starting out as a professional athlete. But now that he’s matured and had time to reflect on his actions, can he hope for a chance to rekindle his marriage? Or should he accept defeat and live with the consequences of letting the only woman he’s ever truly loved slip away from him?

Word count : around 2,500 words

Warnings : mentions of abandonment and neglect, arrogant Sato, sad reader, mentions of regret, angst

Author’s notes : comments and reblogs are appreciated!! I appreciate all feedback on my writing so that I can know what you guys liked and what you think I should improve on

Disclaimer : this is a work of fiction and should in no way, shape, or form, be taken seriously.

Side Note : This fic, and everything else I’ve written on my blog is mine and only mine. I work very hard on everything I write so do not, under any circumstances, modify, copy, or stela my work.

Ken Sato. Looks, wealth, talent, charisma, and confidence rolled into one good looking package. 

The mere mention of his name was enough to cause an uproar of fanatics screaming and shouting in excitement, as if they were a pack of wolves howling at the moon. 

Though he was mostly known for his impressive baseball career, being named one of the most eligible bachelors in sports didn’t hurt his credibility either. If anything, playing the part of the charming ladies’ man only increased his popularity, especially to any of his adoring fans that were women, which most of them were.

After becoming one of the biggest celebrities in both Japanese and American sports, there weren’t many people who were ignorant of a household name such as his. Every man wanted to be him, and every woman wanted to be with him. 

To the public eye, Ken Sato seemed to have it all. But looks can be deceiving, can’t they? Especially when it comes to a man who’s spent years hiding his true feelings behind a veil of humor and charisma. 

No one could know how much he was struggling to keep it all together, or the depths of the affliction eating away at his heart. He was Ken Sato after all, and Ken Sato wasn’t weak, he was a legend, and legends never died, they prevailed. So, he must too.

No matter how much the reporters hounded him, using every possible tactic they could think of to pry into his personal life, Kenji never gave them more than a shred of minuscule details. Feeding them like rats, giving them only the bare necessities to satisfy their hunger for a short while before they came crawling back, demanding more. 

He never let them know more than he wanted, more than he felt like sharing, and frankly, there was a plethora of details he didn’t feel like sharing. 

His reputation of perfection probably wouldn’t uphold itself that well if the media knew about all the things he was wrestling with. Between being a newfound parent to a kaiju infant by day and a masked vigilante known as Ultraman by night, Ken didn’t exactly fit the cookie cutter version of “having it all together.” 

And if that wasn’t enough, then the shame he harbored towards a decision he made almost five years ago would definitely topple the pedestal he comfortably built his identity on. 

The press loved gossip, and they’d fight tooth and nail for even the smallest scintilla of drama. Twisting innocent words and blowing frivolous details out of proportions was the job of reporters. So, imagine the headlines they’d make if those reporters found out any real insiders on the life of the world-famous baseball player. 

Imagine the sales they’d make if a journalist ever got ahold of the information about his past, the same past he’s been hiding away from during his time back in Japan.  

He’s thought about calling, maybe writing a letter to express some form of condolences, but what if word got out? What if the press found out about the woman he used to be married to, the same one he abandoned five years ago in order to pursue his baseball career. 

Forget his most recent batting record, a scandalous story such as that would make headlines from both sides of the Pacific Ocean, and then there really would be nowhere else for him to hide from his past, lest he fancied moving somewhere more remote and secluded. 

If that day came, if Ken Sato was exposed for the decisions he made before becoming famous, then his reputation might take some irreparable damage. 

That’s why he was so closed off towards reporters, towards his teammates, towards everyone. 

Never let anyone close to you and they can never betray you. That’s how Ken Sato lives. 

At least, how he did live, before a little reptilian creature crawled into his life, forcing him to realize there were things that mattered more than wealth and fame.

Before taking care of a kaiju infant became the priority in his life, Ken Sato had rooted his worth in the success of his career. So once that career took off, offering him all the success and affluence he could ever want, he began to realize just how little he really had. 

Despite the riches, the popularity, all of it felt meaningless with no one to share it with. He could’ve held a party with hundreds of guests, surrounding himself with countless people all desperate to please him. Nevertheless, none of it would fill the emptiness engulfing his heart; knowing that no one he interacted with would ever see him as more than a means to financial gain and an increase in social status. 

He had a world full of convenience and opportunities at his fingertips, and yet, he never felt more detached from reality. 

His family was complicated, his friends were more like business partners who benefitted from their relations to him, and the one person he had ever felt truly comfortable around probably hated him now, after being dismissed in favor of baseball. 

In the end, even in a room full of dedicated fans, Ken Sato felt alone. 

However, then that little kaiju infant came along, and everything started to get better. Caring for a child, though tiring at first, gave Kenji something to work towards; a purpose that mattered more than advertising for energy drinks or scoring another record breaking hit at home plate. 

Emi finally gave him the one thing he always wanted, the same thing he always pretended not to need: family. 

After that, baseball didn’t seem to matter as much as it used to, unless he was teaching it to Emi. And all the wealth he had acquired over the years didn’t hold the same value as before, unless he was spending it on his adopted daughter. His lifestyle remained the same, but his heart was in a different place, a more peaceful one. 

Winning championships were more rewarding when he had someone to win for, someone to celebrate with afterwards. And now that he’d repaired the relationship between him and his father, things were looking promising for his future. 

But there was still one more roadblock, one last regret preventing him from moving forward completely. 

You. The woman he’d been married to for a whole year, and, regretfully, the same woman who asked for a divorce due to his neglectful and inconsiderate disregard for her. 

He was young and immature back then, foolishly believing the pursuit of his baseball career was more important than maintaining a healthy marriage. He was arrogant, thinking that extravagant gifts and vacations would keep you happy and secure his role as a provider. 

But he was ignorant to think that being married to you meant he no longer had to earn your affection. All the money and gifts in the world couldn’t make up for the fact that he was never home, and that you were never his priority back then. 

Every morning he’d wake up early, well before you, just to attend practice. And every night he’d come home late, just after dinner, claiming he had needed to stay longer than normal to practice more. 

You’d set out a plate for him, but after his baseball career started taking off, he didn’t really have the time for things such as family dinners or game nights; or so he said. 

He’d usually come home and skip dinner, taking a shower or going to sleep instead. You didn’t necessarily blame him for that, it was only natural for him to be tired from practice. But as the days of barely seeing him turned into months, and he started traveling consistently for his games, you started to feel more like a stranger to him than his wife. He was your husband on paper, but, in the confines of your home, you barely knew how to keep a conversation with him anymore. If you were being honest, you didn’t even really know him that well anymore. 

At least, not as much as you used to. Things were different when you first got married, he wasn’t always so arrogant and inconsiderate. Instead, he was passionate and playful, always knowing how to make you laugh after crying. Even on your first date, he was romantic and charming, making you blush to yourself every time a compliment slipped past his lips. 

But I guess the honeymoon phase people always warn you about before marriage was real; at least, it was for you and Kenji. 

Once his baseball career started taking off, the fame must’ve gotten to his head, and he forgot about the one woman who had been supporting him from the sidelines all along. You had gone to every game, recorded all his winning homeruns, supported his career even though it meant holding off on pursuing yours. And yet, he repaid you with neglect, with a one-sided marriage.

You held on for a while, convinced that he would come around, that his behavior would change and he would reflect on his actions. But after the one-year anniversary of your marriage arrived and he wasn’t even in town to celebrate with you, that’s when you made your decision. You were done being a second choice. 

You got in contact with a lawyer, gathered divorce papers and waited with bated breath till he got home from his trip. And the moment he walked in the door, you practically shoved the papers in his face, all the emotions you’d kept bottled up for so long suddenly coming out in a volcanic eruption of shouting and sobbing. 

And surprisingly enough, he stayed quiet through the majority of it, just watching with a hollow stare as you unleashed all the frustration you’d been harboring towards him. And without a word, he took the papers from you and fished out a pen from his desk drawer, signing them in silence. 

Maybe he had realized from your onslaught of emotions that you were better off without him, that he was clearly causing you pain, and you’d be happier once he set you free of him. Or maybe he really was just that heartless and figured now was the perfect opportunity to get rid of you. Either way, your stomach seemed to twist into a knot at the way he so casually signed those divorce papers and handed them back to you. 

This was what you had wanted, wasn’t it? You’re the one who had gathered the papers in the first place, you should’ve been happy that he was finally ending it, finally setting you free. And yet, you felt yourself holding back tears at his lack of emotion. He didn’t try to argue, he didn’t plead with you to give him another chance like you had expected him too. He just admitted defeat, giving up on trying to fix your marriage and taking off for Japan two days later. 

He left, leaving you back in America while he returned to his home country to continue baseball there; abandoning his American team in the middle of their journey to the championships. 

He had given you an opportunity to move on, to become the person he always prevented you from being, and so you took it.

You cut all forms of communication, threw out everything of his that he didn’t take when he left, and moved into your own apartment. It was a fresh start, a clean slate, and you finally had the chance to chase after your dream career, just like he had been doing.  

So, you did, and you didn’t give up. You refused to, you owed this to yourself, and you weren’t going to waste any more time pouring effort into someone who didn’t appreciate it. 

So, you worked, tirelessly, anxiously, until the day came when your newest novel finally become a bestseller all around the nation, and you were officially titled a successful author. 

Now it was your turn, to stand in front of a crowd of adoring fans, to sign autographs and attend fan events. It almost reminded you of your ex-husband, how people used to scream his name and cheer for his success. But now they were cheering for you, supporting you like he hadn’t. You almost laughed at the irony of it all. Five years ago, you would’ve never imagined the life you’d made for yourself now, celebrating your fourth bestselling novel in a row and becoming a well-known author like you always dreamed of. 

And yet, looking back, none of this would’ve been possible had you not been set free from the restraints your marriage to Ken Sato had bound you to. Without him and the neglect he subjected you to, you wouldn’t have worked as hard as you did. So really, in a way, you had him to thank for how far you’ve come and all the success you’ve accomplished. Because if he never signed those papers five years ago, you would still be tied down to a one-sided marriage. 

But you weren’t, and thank God for that.

Now you had moved on, and so had he. 

Or so you thought. 

Little did you know, Ken Sato was on a mission, and not as Ultraman this time. After undergoing the change and maturity necessary to become a parent to a kaiju infant, Kenji realized he needed to make things right between the two of you. Even if it had been five years since he last saw you. 

He wasn’t looking to ask you to take him back and rekindle your marriage, though he wouldn’t have minded if that ended up happening. Instead, he simply wanted to apologize for his actions, for being such a crappy husband back then. He had reflected a lot on the subject of your marriage over the past couple years, but, he never reached out in fear of your reaction to seeing him again. 

Although, after avoiding it for long enough, and getting a lecture about taking responsibility from his dad, he finally decided to go through with it and booked a flight back to America. 

He was nervous to say the least, but he knew he couldn’t back out. Even if you screamed and yelled at him, he had to take accountability for his past actions and apologize for the pain he’d caused you, for pushing you to the back burner while he allowed baseball to take priority in his life. 

He’d made peace with himself and his father already, thanks to the help of his adoptive daughter. So now it was time to make peace with you. And as he watched the plane lift off the ground from his window seat, he held his breath, wondering how you would react to seeing him again after so many years. 

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[animeyanderelover]

Can I request the pregnancy HCs with female Darling and characters from: D.Gray-Man - Millennium Earl (human form), Tyki Mikk, Komui Lee, Kanda Yuu, and Allen Walker; BSD- Mori?

Tw: Yandere themes, obsession, possessive behavior, delusional mindset, clinginess, manipulation, baby-trapping, pregnancy, birth

Tags: @shumidehiro @leveyani @izanami78

Pregnancy Hc's

Mori Ougai

🍷​Fom only observing the way Mori interacts with Elise you have always known that the Mafioso has a weak spot for doting on a little girl. He adores buying frilly dresses and cute outfits and even you aren't spared from being dolled up in the clothes that he wastes a lot of his money on. There has always been a hint of fear within you, a wriggling anxiety that comes alive within you whenever Mori muses during tea and cake time that he adores the thought of having a sweet baby girl of his own. Elise's jealous reaction and the way your body stiffens are always sights that he enjoys to observe but he has never gone further than voicing those little fantasies of his. The decision that he wants a little baby of his own is something Mori makes all by himself without telling you at all. You are left within the dark, ever so slightly skittish and anxious and this is exactly the position that Mori wants you in. With a mind ever so sharp and with eyes always watching you he notices the first symptoms before you do. Only when you're hunched over the toilet and empty your lunch within the bowl do you finally realise the situation you are in all whilst Mori cooes gently at you, a thrilled grin on his face.

🍷​Every little grain of freedom you might have had vanishes in front of your eyes just like that. Used to Mori's normally possessive behavior your utter and complete isolation this time around is partially fueled by his protective instincts. Confident yet not cocky, Mori always calculates the possible equation that something might happen, no matter how insignificant that chance is. Absolutely no information about your pregnancy is shared as only Chuuya and Kouyou find out about it from Mori himself, tasked with keeping an eye on you, especially if he himself can't be with you. Their lips are sealed tightly as they share those news with no one, not until Mori himself should decide that it is time to announce the joyous news. Kouyou in particular is someone Mori has a lot of faith in and her calm yet firm exterior proves to be very effective when your hormones get the better of you. Chuuya is a little hothead, unfamiliar with pregnancy and on how to deal with a pregnant woman yet he wouldn't let anything or anyone touch you if Mori tells him to protect you. Weirdly enough you do appreciate his short temper as it feels refreshing from Mori who always seems to be ten steps ahead.

🍷It is painfully obvious that Mori wishes feverently for the baby to be a little girl. He would adore nothing more than a little princess he can spoil and cuddle and dote on as much as his heart desires. Still, he knows that mere wishing will not give him a daughter so as soon as it is possible he determines whether the baby will be a boy or a girl. He cannot deny that even he feels the anticipation getting the better of him as he waits for the results. The moment he figures out that the baby will be a sweet, little girl he is unable to keep his giddiness contained. Creepily excited giggles escape his lips as he smothers you in kisses, his gloved hands eagerly rubbing over your belly which will swell over time with the daughter he cannot wait to see and hold. Within the same day where he has the biological sex confirmed he starts preparing the nursery. Now that he knows for certain that it'll be a girl he decorates the entire room as girlish as possible. The walls are painted pink, ribbons are hung up everywhere and he buys an entire amount of cute plushies for the baby. Elise complains about it to him, wants some plushies too and whilst Mori does buy her another one, he never gives her those he has bought for his baby.

🍷As a former military doctor there is some knowledge about the human body that Mori already possesses. Most of the times he is the one overlooking how your pregnancy is going as the thought of letting someone else that close to your stomach and touching it fills him with seething envy. It is only his privilege to rub your belly and feel the little girl within moving and during every medical check-up he is far more touchy than necessary, his hands never leaving your belly. You have always considered him as someone who has a hard time keeping his hands to himself before you were pregnant but now it feels especially exhausting and annoying. He doesn't want to miss the first little kicks of his baby, doesn't want to miss the way your belly will swell with his daughter so Mori is pretty much glued to your hips. Every time he has to leave you he laments dramatically about the absence between him and his two princesses, spends minutes smothering you and your belly in kisses before he leaves and even though he may only be gone for a few hours he acts like he'll be gone for months. You try to get the most out of those few hours before Mori returns, touch-starved as if he hasn't seen you in forever.

🍷He cannot get enough of the way your body changes during pregnancy, his heart always throbbing within his chest when he looks at you. The clothes he has you wearing during pregnancy are meant to enhance those changes within your body, especially from your babybump he can't get enough. One of his hands is always caressing over the stretched skin without fail, every little movement from within adding to his growing anticipation. Elise is disgusted yet jealous of the exaggerated attention and affection that baby receives despite not even being born yet, childish glares thrown your way though she would never dare to do anything. He reacts with the same giddiness when he feels her kicking around as he did when he first felt her moving, every movement from his daughter special to him. He's brainstormed for names already the moment he knew you were expecting and has an entire mental list with names for his girl by now. It is hard for him to settle for one final name though as all the names he has chosen sound cute and it is perhaps the only time during your pregnancy that he lets you decide something as he asks you for your opinion on it.

🍷The closer your due date crawls the more visibly fidgety Mori grows like a child on Christmas Eve waiting for its presents. To his greatest sorrow the little girl ends up being a few days overdue, painful hours he has to spend waiting for her arrival. Already his little princess seems to test him. When your labour pains finally happen 5 days after the estimated due date he glues himself to your side, unable to keep the grin out of his face as he knows that soon he will finally hold his precious princess in his arms. Your birth is the only time he allows a few other doctors around you, all women as he would undoubtedly slit a man's throat open if he were to let another man see you in such beautiful agony and let another man hold his daughter for the first time. He is sickeningly sweet throughout the entire labour, encouraging you to keep going and that it'll soon be all over. He is visibly shaking with giddiness and adoration when his princess is finally born, immediately taking her out of the nurse's hold the moment he knows that she is healthy and cleaned. A wet shimmer in his eyes as he cooes sweetly at her, already willing to burn down entire cities to keep this precious bundle safe.

Allen Walker

🔴Poor Allen is not exactly the wisest when it comes to recognising the signs of pregnancy when they start appearing but to be fair, neither are you. Children have been a topic that the both of you have discussed a few times already with both of you arriving at the conclusion that neither one of you would mind but you have never specified when exactly the two of you were planning on having a baby. When your appetite starts increasing Allen is mildly baffled but quickly starts embracing your new surge in hunger, gladly sharing his food with you. It's eventually you who realises that something seems to be different as your period has been missing for quite some time now. You make the mistake of mentioning your suspicions to Allen whilst he is eating, causing the poor man to nearly choke to death whilst Timcanpy flatters around his coughing form clearly panicked. When he has finally stopped choking he just looks at you with wide eyes, the shock and surprise written all over his face. His brain needs a few moments to process your words, the silence only making you slightly nervous before he asks you with teary eyes if you're sure. The moment you confirm he starts shedding tears.

🔴Allen is elated with the news that he is going to be a father yet at the same time there is another part of him which is terrified as the realisation sickers in that he is going to have a child. He has left the Black Order, a Noah lives inside of him and he has currently more enemies than he has friends. How is he going to give his child a happy life? If there is one thing that Allen has always wanted for his own child is the innocent and happy upbringing that he could have never had yet now that future he has envisoned for a baby of his own is threatened and it fills him with guilt as he can't help but feel like he has already failed. Still, he decides to let none of that show when he is with you as he doesn't want you to think that he doesn't want this baby with you. His clinginess and his desire to protect you increase the moment he knows about the fact that you are expecting which leads him to never let you out of his sight as the two of you wander through the cities. There is a ball of stress and anxiety coiling within his chest as he has to watch out for so many threats all at once which could all harm you or the baby. Over time Allen becomes almost hyper-aware of his surroundings, always on the lookout.

🔴Despite the overall cluelessness that he has though all of your struggles are met with nothing but sympathy and understanding. Allen is far too enamored with you, especially as you grow heavier with his child. Whenever you get mad as your pregnancy hormones get the better of you and you let part of your anger out on him even though he has done nothing wrong he just sits there quietly and allows you to express your frustration and rage, a warm glimmer in his eyes. When you start crying for no apparent reason he does his everything to cheer you up even if he has to make a fool out of himself. Your appetite only increases as the months go by and he never once utters as much as a single complaint about your seemingly bottomless stomach. He knows very well that he has no right to talk, realises that perhaps it is because you carry his child that you experience his hunger which is why he encourages you to eat as much as you want. He even gives you portions of his own food so that you can eat more even if he has to eat less. You come up with some pretty interesting food combinations during your pregnancy but he always tries them with a smile on his face.

🔴I always like to imagine that due to Allen and Nea both existing within his body and mind that the Noah has also developed an obsession with you or perhaps it was even he who got obsessed first and dragged Allen into it. If Allen is the bright side then Nea is the dark side as both of them are essentially like Jekyll and Hyde. Allen despite his increased need to keep you close and protected tries to give you still enough freedom so that you can be happy as well. Nea always attempts to interfere with such decisions as he desires to keep you right next to him, his whispers constantly attempting to influence Allen or to even take over. It may happen that there are a few moments where the Noa takes over, Allen's grip on you suddenly tightening as golden eyes seemingly pierce through your soul, his hands gingerly caressing the curve of your tummy as a smug and satisfied look appears on his face. From all potential dangers which might happen to you Nea is the one Allen is the most aware of and it always spooks him when the man resurfaces and seizes control of his body. To Allen this baby is the physical manifestation of your shared love. For Nea it is a claim of possession of you, a way to control you.

🔴It becomes very obvious that you are unable to walk a lot of distance the further you are along as your body tires more easily. Whenever Allen notices your exhaustion he simply starts carrying you, muttering an apology into the crown of your head as he searches for a good place for you to rest. He knows that he needs to find a place for you to settle, a place where you can give birth and recover from it afterwards. He needs an experienced doctor and nurses just as much as he doesn't know how to help deliver a baby. There is no expectation within him that me will find a place where neither the Black Order nor the Noah family will find him but he at the very least needs a place where he can have you rest for a few months after you have given birth. Both of you find shelter in a small village within a forest where an elderly couple allows the both of you to stay in the room that used to belong to their child. Nea obviously distrusts, doesn't want other people around you but Allen wills himself to ignore those whispers as he accepts the offer gratefully, helping the couple in return as a way to pay them back whilst you rest for the final weeks of your pregnancy.

🔴The older woman actually recognises the early signs of labour within you and the moment she mentions that to the two of you Allen is practically already out of the door to retrieve the midwife. He panics, anxious since he left your side as he urges her to walk faster and at one point he is that close to simply lift her up and carry you to the house so that he can be quicker by your side again. When he returns Timcanpy is circling around your head, his wings flapping fast as an indicator of his own nervousness. Still, the golden ball tries to encourage you in his own ways as he rubs against your head to emotionally support you. Every time the pain gets too much for you and you let out a hiss or a scream Allen winces, increasingly light-headed and dizzy as the hours pass. He would never forgive himself if he were to faint here though, especially since you are the one in pain right now and not him. His heart is in his throat, his palms clammy by the time the baby is finally born and his shoulders sag visibly with relief when he hears that you and his son are both safe. He insists that you hold the baby first as you have done all the work, eyes shining with unshed tears as the boy is laid on your chest.

Kanda Yu

💙​Yu has never really talked about his dreams with you before. Perhaps because he has never deemed it as necessary in a business with such a high death rate or because he simply doesn't have any visions for his future as he onl focuses on killing Akuma. His only real desire is for you to stay with him, emotions far too irritating and unneeded for someone who is normally as calculated and cold-hearted as he is. He is keenly aware that there is something that you are hiding from him. He senses the nervous glances you give him whenever you believe him not to notice, picks up on the way your body nervously shuffles around when the both of you are alone. Believing it to be nothing too urgent though he simply decides to wait for a while to see if you'll gather the courage to talk to him as he doesn't always want to be the one who has to force you to spill everything as it can be annoying at times. From everything that you could have told him though he didn't even consider the topic of pregnancy, blue eyes fixed on your nervous form before slowly trailing down to your stomach. The silence is thick and painful but even more is his exit as he doesn't utter a single word.

💙​A child is something which Yu has never even considered before as it has never been something he saw himself desiring. Children are loud, annoying, take patience and understanding to raise. Qualities which he doesn't believe himself to possess. Even though he isn't going to be truthful about it, Yu is actually questioning how good of a parent he could even be. He has sacrificed people around him all in the name of slaying Akuma as for him it has never been much about saving people but more about ridding the world of the greater evil. Now suddenly there is his own child present in his mind, his memories resurfacing of times where he couldn't save a child's parents or even the child itself as he instead chose to focus on killing instead of saving. Memories that have never haunted him much before suddenly weigh much more than he can remember, dragging him down into the inner hell of his own thoughts. Yu finds himself deeply buried within his own mind the following days. He doesn't even say a single word about your pregnancy as he acts like you never told him this and it secretly torments you on the inside as you wonder if he doesn't want this child.

💙​Still, you seem to know better than to pester him about this. So you let him sink into the depths of his mind where he spends a lot of time in. It's not an easy decision for him as he spends a lot of time doubting and second-guessing. Even so, after the initial shock passes Yu finds himself much more protective around you. He always seems to be somewhere in the shadows, unwilling to appear as overbearing yet at the same time unable to let you leave his gaze. He approaches you eventually though after he has finally managed to sort his own emotions and thoughts out and asks you how you are feeling about the situation and what you want to do. He listens to your own opinion and he even confesses his own thoughts about the pregnancy, clarifies to you about all the potential hardships that may arise, especially since he is lucid enough to know that his love isn't something you are comfortable with. The final decision he leaves up to you though and he is actually surprised when you decide after a lot of consideration that you want to keep the child. He masks that shock very well though and gives you a sharp nod, silently acknowledging that this is your decision.

💙​Yu doesn't plan to tell anyone within the Black Order just yet about your pregnancy. He can already estimate how people like Allen, Lavi and Lenalee would react and the last thing that he needs right now is a bunch of annoying brats pestering him about the pregnancy and cornering you. No, he takes the time after you have made your decision so that the both of you can figure things out and come up with a stable plan on how to proceed in the future. Neither one of you planned for this baby so both of you are utterly underprepared. Komui is the first person who finds out about your pregnancy and even he isn't able to hide the brief hint of surprise on his face. Yu ignores any cutting snark that he would like to give when he notices the amused twinkle in Komui's eyes. He's here to plan for a few days of break around your estimated due date and not to get into a petty fight that would leave him undoubtedly with a headache. Komui agrees to his requests, promises the Exorcist to see it through that Yu won't have any assigned missions to allow him to spend some time with you after you have given birth. A few curtly words of gratitude is all he receives in return though for Yu's terms that is a lot.

💙​If there are missions assigned to him during the following months Yu still completes them but there is a sense of urgency to finish them that has never been there before. He's a lot less tolerant of any bullshit his assigned team members may commit and he ends up hurting someone's feeling when he lashes out on whoever stalled the mission unnecessarily because they couldn't pull themselves together. When he isn't on missions he spends most of his time with you, his protective feelings growing alongside with your belly. He's usually always trailing behind you when you decide to take a walk, sharp eyes observing everything within your surroundings and the moment an unfamiliar face approaches you he appears behind you. You're kept away from his friends as much as possible simply because Yu is not in the mood for them to crowd around you and pester him and you both with their congratulations and questions. You may tolerate that but he surely won't. Over time he does warm up to the thought of the child but he is far from feeling like he is ready to be a father. The thought of having a family of his own still seems so unreal yet with every week that idea gets closer to becoming a reality.

💙​The closer you get to your due date the more he seems to be filled with a sense of unease. When he is excused from his work for a while until you have given birth Yu initially doesn't even know what to do with himself. He knows that he is very close to being a father and that thought fills him with many negative but also some positive feelings. When your water breaks and you are in the throes of labour he sits stiffly by your side, allowing you to clutch his hands tightly as he monitors the midwife and her every move very closely. He has never been the best when it comes to comforting you as he usually sucks it all up and locks it away which he knows you cannot do. So instead of saying something which may only hurt your feelings he decides to say nothing, only occasionally asking the midwife how everything is processing and how close you are to giving birth. The tension doesn't leave his muscles even after you deliver your son safely, blue eyes alert as he inspects the midwife closely as she handles the baby before handing the little boy to you. The reality of the situation still needs a couple of moments to settle in before he finally releases a long breath he has been holding in, finally allowing himself to relax.

Komui Lee

👓​It is perhaps easy to forget that hidden beneath that lazy and whimsical attitude is a person who is not only the Chief Officer of the Black Order but also the Branch Head of the European Branch. Truly, with Komui's downright maniacal behavior it is sometimes hard to acknowledge that he is a man with such a high position, especially for newbies. Yet there is a very different side that Komui reveals when the time calls for it and it is in such moments that even you are reminded that there is far more hidden than the goofy facade that he often exhibits. In itself Komui doesn't have anything against the thought of having children. A part of him even wants it actively. Another part of him is terrified though. What if his children grow up to be Exorcists? What if something happens to them? There would be no greater pain than having to witness the funeral of your own child after all. Life isn't that easy sadly, not with the Akuma and the Noah family and even the unethical methods of the Black Order who sacrifices the lives of other Exorcists for the greater cause. I do not believe the pregnancy to be an accident though as Komui is too careful for such a thing to happen without it having been planned.

👓​There is no spontaneous path that leads to you expecting a baby of his. In fact preparations have begun weeks before you were even confirmed to be pregnant as Komui and you had rather long discussions with each other where you found yourself exposed to a sober and serious side of him you very rarely witnessed. He's very vulnerable and see-through with you during such conversations as he admits his worries to you. A lot of things have to be weighted, a lot of plans are crafted before before both of you make the mutual decision to still try for a baby even if the world isn't quite as safe as it could be. That only serves as a motivation for Komui to work harder to create a safe environment for his child as soon as it is officially confirmed that you are expecting a baby. The fact that both of you have been planning for this for such a long time allows him to just fully embrace his happiness and joy instead of dwelling on doubts and fears of all the risks since he has already confessed all of it to you before. His reaction is as quirky and dramatic as everyone is used to as he actually gives the doctor a tight hug with tears in his eyes. Safe to say, everyone in the building hears his shouts of happiness.

👓​If you are an Exorcist it is safe to say that all missions for you are cancelled for a very long time and if anyone dares to object to Komui's decision they will get a short glimpse of his very protective and serious side which is sure to leave them baffled and shocked. Lenalee has most likely already known about the fact that both of you have been trying for a baby so the news aren't necessarily a shock for her but she is still happily surprised when she hears it. She quickly searches for the both of you and congratulates you for soon being parents. The poor girl has to endure having her ears talked off though because as soon as she is with Komui he instantly starts rambling about you. He has a very bad habit of gushing to everyone he works closely with about you and your pregnancy but Lenalee gets the most of it. During a scan fairly early in your pregnancy it is actually revealed that you are expecting twins and those news send Komui straight to the floor, his hands clutching his heart as if he has gone into cardiac arrest. His body twitches as incoherent mumbles leave his lips and it takes Lenalee literally kicking his ass awake for him to return to his senses.

👓​His poor co-workers have to essentially become professional hunters from that day on as Komui constantly tries to escape all the paperwork to spend his time with you. They have to chase him down whenever he attempts to flee to spend his time with you and his growing twins and one time he got extremely silly and tried to crawl through the ventilation shaft to reach you only to get stuck halfway. It is a story no one in this order will ever let him live down as it took five Exorcists to pull him out of there because he absolutely screamed in terror when Kanda stoicly stated that he'd just cut the wall open with no regards of whether Komui would come out unharmed or not. To tame his silly antics you start to help him in his office to keep you busy somewhat now that you can't go on any missions anyways. Or you just spend your time talking to the phone with him though that actually only distracts him more. Additionally he is like a waterfall as the words never stop pouring out of the speaker to the point where you sometimes walk away to do something all whilst he continues to ramble. It takes him minutes to realise that you aren't there on the other side anymore.

👓​He grows very touchy as soon as the bump starts to show. His behavior perhaps isn't quite fitting for the position that he has been given but whenever someone scolds him for his sappy antics he cries out that he is just human. He misses the first kicks of the babies due to being busy with work and it is your mistake to tell him this when he gets back home. He acts like he has been robbed of his most precious treasure, pouts the entire week after and cries to everyone who is unfortunate to cross his path that such a special moment has been stolen from him all because of the papaerwork he has to do. As foolish as Komui may look, he has a very detailed plan for you and all the medical check-ups that you need during your pregnancy as well as maternity leave and even the midwives who will assist you during birth. It's because he has already planned out all the important details and has scheduled everything thoroughly that he can allow himself to be so sappy in the first place. He sucks at choosing names though. It's not like he doesn't have an entire list of names he has thought about but he is just so utterly unable to choose that you have to step in and even let Lenalee help you to pick two names.

👓​The closer you get to your due date the more antsy Komui seems to get. He tries to soothe his nerves by drinking coffee but unfortunately this only has the opposite effect as he gets even more squirrelly as a result. He can barely focus on his work by now as he needs to read everything twice to let the words sicker in, his mind filled with you. When your water breaks he rushes so fast to your side that he actually trips and lands flat on his face only to wave all worries off even though his face is red from landing on the hard floor. He's experiencing a surge of adrenaline that has him forgetting all about the pain in that moment. It's comedical to see how hard he is trying to comfort you all whilst he is trembling like a leaf in the winds of autumn, his palms growing sweatier the longer contractions last. It actually helps you through the pain as his jittery exterior amuses you as it creates the impression that you are for more composed than he is right now. He is unable to stop gushing over the little girl and boy as soon as they are out of you, rivers of tears flowing down his cheeks that won't stop no matter how much he rubs them dry with the sleeves of his uniform.

The Millenium Earl

🎃​As patriarch of the Noah Clan the Earl already has a big family with which he spends all of his time with. A life with him is rather unique as it is since his Noah form and his human form are so jarringly different to each other. His Noah form is very likely to frighten you a tad bit since it looks less human-like and every sweet word of his almost sounds like a honeyed threat to you. In his human form you feel better. As Adam he is softer, sweeter though also far more clingy and even more obsessed with having you close to him. There is a level of trust and vulnerability that he reveals to you as Adam though, something other Noah tend to criticise him for as they don't think that he should hand as much of his heart to you as he does. That's why you are very aware of Adam's wish to have a little child with you, to create a new life in this new era where all of them have been reincarnated in and have reunited once more. He would never force you but at the same time he is ever so slightly desperate with the thought, his heart longing for a baby to raise and cherish with you. Subtle pressure from his pleas increases when you are around other Noah who all seem to expect from you to fulfill his wish.

🎃​All members of the Noah family seem to share a very special connection with their kin. That's why I like to believe that they're able to sense the new creation of a being that carries their blood in its veins inside of your womb long before you are even suspecting anything. You are slightly shaken when you notice how they start to peer at you, especially at your stomach. It isn't until Adam himself slowly goes down on his knees, tears in his eyes as his fingers reverently run over your stomach as he senses the new life that your body will nourish and grow. His voice is thick with emotions as he glances up at you, thanking you for the new life that your body is bearing and only then do you finally realise what is going on and why everyone has been staring at you so much as of lately. Now, as much as other Noah may dislike you due to being a human, the moment they all know that you are expecting the Earl's child they all grow very protective of you and the little thing currently developing within your body. People like Road are much more amicable to you though. She's the first person from the Noah that actually walks over to you and congratulates you for being a mama-to-be.

🎃​The little freedom that you have fought so hard for slips right through your fingers. Everyone is against the idea of you being supervised by yourself and whilst Adam is not as strict with his words it is very obvious that he still shares the same mindset as everyone else in this family. He is terrified of anything happening to you as well as to the little baby within you that he already loves so painfully much. Considering that Adam is able to sense the sorrow of other people he is especially prone to being affected by your emotions and as pregnancy proves to make you especially emotional at times he seems to suffer alongside with you. It doesn't even matter how silly whatever it is that you are sad about he is emotionally right with you. It is slightly annoying but also weirdly comforting in a way to you as he supports you through your sorrow and tries to cheer you up with whatever methods he can think of. Often he resorts to using Lero as a way to cheer you up as he knows that you are rather fond of his golem. It is rather amusing though to see the flabbergasted reaction of Lero when he is told that you are expecting Adam's child as he is the last one from everyone to find out.

🎃​All of the medical attention that you receive is from someone within the Noah Clan. Overall no one would trust a human to assist in your pregnancy as well as your birth when it comes to a child from the Noah family, especially since it is the Earl's child that you are carrying. Wisely turns out to know surprisingly enough as he always inherits the memories of all of his previous incarnations and Road knows the one or other thing too considering that she is one of the oldest despite her young appearance. Even without any previous knowledge regarding pregnancy everyone from the Noah family always seems to know roughly whether or not the little one growing within you is healthy or not though and all of that because they can tell through the connection that they share through their blood. It makes you very susceptible for criticism from their side though as soon as they should sense that the baby isn't feeling well though one soft warning uttered from the Earl is usually more than enough to make all of them shut up. The Earl is even able to perceive the sadness of the baby at one point. His baby is always sad when you are as well as if sensing the sorrow of its mother.

🎃​Adam adores the way your body changes in order to nurture a new life within your womb. He makes it a point to constantly tell you just how beautiful you are right now, fulfilling a miracle by bearing his baby. He gets very emotional whenever he feels the baby kicking within you, his palms rubbing with tender eagerness over your baby bump to feel the movements of the baby. Technically he can sense if the fetus is healthy or not but feeling the pressure of their limbs from within is a tangible proof that tells him that his child is happy and healthy within you. He converses a lot with your belly as he wants the baby to get used to his voice, to remember it from their time within your womb after you give birth. He even sometimes reads to you and the child on nights when the little one is especially active and keeps you from getting the rest that you need the further you get. It works though. The baby within you starts to recognise his voice at one point, soothed by the loving and gentle tone of his words as they stop their uncomfortable kicks and movements only moments after Adam starts talking to them. Witnessing how much they love his voice has his heart brimming with love that he can't wait to give his baby.

🎃​Every member of the family gifts you and the baby something. Road for example gifts you and the baby matching outfits she has sewed herself as well as a little plushie for the baby, also handmade by her. When your due date gets closer, Adam starts gluing himself to your side. His heart is filled with a mixture of anticipation, excitement and silent fear. He knows how painful labour is for a woman and even though it is the natural order of a new life to enter the physical world his heart is aching nevertheless for you. His grip on your hand is almost equally as tight as yours when contractions finally start and remember that he even holds his strength back as otherwise he might shatter every bone in your arm. Tears are in his eyes as he watches you endure the pain of delivering his child, his lips constantly pressing kisses against your sweaty face as he whispers praises and apologies against your ear. The tears start rolling the moment the shrill cry of the infant fills the room and Adam starts sobbing quietly when he sees the face of his little daughter for the first time. So small, so fragile and so precious that he is terrified to hold her at first, afraid to hurt the little love of his life.

Tyki Mikk

🦋​Tyki himself has never indulged much in the thought of children before and neither has his Noah Joyd but all of that slowly seems to change the moment you stumble into the picture. You see, the Noah are the true Apostles of God and for that deep down there lies an innate desire to repopulate so that the world will be filled with the original humans. It's a slumbering desire that awakens over time within Joyd who desires to have you bear his child and it is Joyd's downright feral desire that forces Tyki to be aware of the lust of his Noah side. It's very hard to balance those desires out though as Joyd gets especially feral once he has your quivering body beneath him and purrs in your ears about his desire to see you carrying him a baby. It's hard to ignore those words of his and he knows that it will spook you out so soon after those previously slumbering urges have awoken Tyki decides to confess to you about the nature of his Noah. He confesses to you that he doubts that those desires will ever go away and though he himself wouldn't want to force you into giving him a child he is honest enough to admit to you that he doesn't know how long he can stop himself.

🦋​It is with a great amount of reluctance that you agree after a while to the idea of carrying him a baby. You may not understand everything about his family but you are smart enough to understand that Joyd is an ancient being that you cannot stop by yourself. The moment you have made up your mind Joyd instantly has you pressed beneath his body, golden eyes gleaming with lust and hunger. His dedication coupled with his stamina soon lead you exactly where he wants to have you. You're pregnant with his baby, his Noah blood sensing the little being of his flesh and blood. Smugness and satisfaction are all visible on his face as his golden eyes focus on your belly, a purr rumbling through his chest as his fingers dance over your belly. His brother is delighted when he hears the news and congratulates Tyki for his incoming fatherhood. Road ends up stealing you away whilst Sheril gives his brother some advice on how to be a good father though Tyki probably isn't buying anything. Road herself is quite excited since this baby is going to be her cousin but she seems to also understand that the circumstances that have led to this pregnancy aren't exactly something you expected.

🦋​Tyki has expected that his possessiveness would definitely receive a boost but perhaps even he underestimated just how much more possessive he would grow of you now that you are pregnant with his baby. He always wants you within sight of him, golden eyes always following you like a hawk whenever you move around the room. A desire he has always carried within his heart to care for you and protect you only blossoms further, thick vines that hold his heart in a chokehold. He starts doting on you and his baby growing within you a lot long before you even start showing. The entire family finds out soon after and whilst some members are more iffy about the thought of a human bearing someone of their bloodline as soon as the Earl chirps his congratulations no one would even think about voicing any criticism. Seeing his family react overall so positive definitely fills him with a sense of pride, at least from his Noah side. Tyki makes it a point to be as involved as possible in everything though. He builds the nursery, he helps to choose a name for the baby and he sees it through that he takes care of you as you grow heavier with his baby. He loves taking care of you as you grow more reliant on him.

🦋​It's undeniably Joyd speaking so clearly out of him whenever he confesses in a smooth voice to you that he adores to watch you growing less mobile which in return forces you to rely more on him. There's nothing more precious and beautiful than caring for you all whilst you bear him his lovely child. When he is Tyki things are more casual and occasionally even awkward as he finds himself a tiny bit overwhelmed at times when your hormones get the better of you but he never once strays from your side. He gets you the food that you want and even though he may give you a perplexed look when you combine some... unique flavors together he never criticises you for it as he's worried that he might hurt your feelings which are already all over the place. He isn't necessarily very strict when it comes to the stuff you eat during your pregnancy but he still sees it through that you consume the meals that he prepares for you, more nutritious and healthy for you and the baby than what you may consume otherwise. The moment your bump starts showing one of his hands always finds a way to your stomach, his fingers gingerly tracing over the growing curve as a low purr escapes him.

🦋​Your comfort is Tyki's priority and once the pregnancy starts putting a strain on your body and the little one starts getting more active within you he pays more attention to you than ever. He constantly offers to massage you the moment your body starts aching from the weight of your pregnancy, draws baths for you to allow you to relax for a while and he even allows his Teez to keep you company. They would never hurt you but they so nib playfully at you. They do possess more awareness than you might have given them previously credit for though as they often place themselves over your stomach in an almost protective manner. Almost equally as your physical comfort to him is your emotional well-being though. Especially Joyd needs you to realise just how beautiful you are at the moment for nurturing a little baby that will be all his and all yours. If he should sense any hint of insecurities within you due to the unfamiliar changes that your body goes through he would be more than willing to prove to you just how pretty you currently are in his eyes. You're nothing short of stunning as the sight of you swollen with his baby is absolutely lovely and delectable.

🦋​The process of birth would be interesting mainly because his abilities would technically allow him to pull the child out of your womb without you even having to go through any painful contractions. However, I do think that this is a situation where Tyki and Joyd would sort of clash against each other. Tyki is a human and even though he is no woman he still wishes to spare you from painful hours. Joyd is his Noah though who wants to see you go through the painful but also beautiful process of giving birth to a new life and unless it is an emergency he refuses to use his abilities on you. Let nature take its course like it has done for thousand of years now already. This could honestly end up either way depending on who ends up having the stronger will though if other Noah are present during birth they will most likely also insist on you giving birth the natural way unless complications should appear. The pride and joy that he feels dwelling up within his chest the moment his son is delivered is the same either way. Golden eyes are filled with affection for you and for the little boy, a deep purr rumbling through his chest as he wraps the baby and you protectively within his arms.

[manic-poetry-lover]

I watch it on the screen, eyes enchanted and mouth agape.

The image of the body on the ground fills me with such strange elation, what is this feeling?

Like a clawing in my abdomen. Crackling.

I watch the woman with glittering garnish dangling from her ears and around her throat, decorating her succulent fingers, as she proclaims what a heinous thing this was. How she can’t understand the shooter’s motive.

I am puzzled, shooter’s motive? Surely she is not that big of a fool? Surely there is more meat in her skull than that?

I watch the papers plastered to the poles, offering $10,000 for information, I shiver in the thin coat of wishes as I read. I ponder how many dinners I could purchase with money like that. I lick the ink from the tree’s corpse, hoping it tastes like frosting. It tastes like stale.

There is an urge. An urge to bite, to gnaw, to chew, to swallow. I feel this urge to squeeze it between my fingers and drink the juices that fall, like oranges that trickle sparkling sugars, need only a peeling.

And I look at the face of the shooter, and his face is like mine. He buys a granola bar to satiate something inside him. I would bury a knife in a man’s chest for something to eat right now.

The need grows inside me, like an animal. It is feral and evil and dauntless. It will bite and crunch on anything it can wrap its jaws around. I feel it begin to ache.

And I see a man, brought on a silver tray with wheels and an Aston Martin logo, proclaim what a heinous act this was. His tie tugged right around his throat, the color of saucey red.

And I see another man, between his meaty fingers is a Arturo Fuente cigar that circles his body and smokes his fleshy exterior. And he cries out how the jokes are not funny, blowing out another cloud to finely dry age his insides.

And I see a woman with arms so delicate, the heaviest thing she’s ever lifted was shopping bags and investment portfolios. Her muscles are tender like veal and her skin glows with cosmetic butteriness as she denounces those of us who made t shirts to afford rent that quarter.

The crackling louder now. It growls. I stumble and fall, faint and dizzy. Like my insides will cave in only in mere moments and I will lick up the debris for hopes of feeling even just slightly less hungry-

Yes… *Hunger*. That is what I feel.

I am hungry, and as I look at my neighbor, I see his sunken in cheeks. I see his withered hands, and I see his teeth sharp and pointed.

I look at my friend, I see her half lidded eyes trained on the fatty rolls of their necks. I see her smelling herbs and spices to pair with pork.

I look in the mirror and I see a ghost. I see ribs and dull flesh, and I lick my lips as I stare at the poster.

I am hungry, I say.

They will be angry, tell us it is our fault. To work harder. Work longer. To invent using imagination as tools and debt as material. To form using dust as building blocks and air as our assets.

My neighbor, my friend, and I glance at one another. The world around us glance between hungry faces and starving bellies. We smile, having found our dinner.

And when we have them pinned to the butchering block, they will ask why we blame them.

And we will say, with licked lips-

Are you shocked that our mouths begin to water?

When you went and fattened yourself for the slaughter?

[autolenaphilia]

I got a Steam Deck last year, and it’s such a great machine. It’s obviously inspired by Nintendo Switch, but it’s a lot better than a Switch.

The most important part is that it runs PC games. It’s fundamentally a Linux gaming PC in the form of a handheld console. There are a lot more games available than any console and and PC games both on Steam and GOG are a lot cheaper than console ones. You can get old or indie games for as cheap as 1-3 euro during sales. It’s a tremendous advantage for the deck over its console competitors.

And while the obvious intent of the deck is to get more people to buy games from Steam, it isn’t a walled garden at all. The deck launches into Steam when you boot it up, but you can go into desktop mode, and then it functions as a normal PC running a Linux distro. From there you can install Lutris or Heroic Games Launcher, and use it to easily install games you bought from GOG and Itch.io.

You can also do things like use the official dock or an unofficial usb-c hub to hook the deck up to a monitor, mouse and keyboard to use it as a desktop PC. Or you can hook it up to a tv to use it as home console.

The hardware is also a lot more powerful than a switch, the demanding triple-a games it can play is actually impressive. Although this comes with the natural disadvantage that it’s bulkier too. Putting more powerful PC parts demands more space for them. The deck is not something I bring with me outside. But then again I didn’t even do that with the 3DS, which was actually of a practical size to do that. The deck is portable enough that I can comfortably play lying in bed, which is how I always used my handheld consoles. So it’s perfect for me, but maybe not if you want to play it on the bus or something. It can probably be a fun addition to your luggage on longer trips though.

Of course, as mentioned, the Steam Deck uses Linux. This has both advantages and disadvantages. The main advantage is that it allows Valve to customize the operating system to make it fit with the machine it’s running on. The Deck’s SteamOS feels really well-integrated into the hardware, like how a proper console OS should be like. It’s not that dissimilar to how Sony used FreeBSD to make Playstation’s OS. Windows would not allow for this amount of customization and would not integrate as well.

And the open source nature of most Linux development allows Valve and the user to use existing open-source Linux software to their advantage. For example, the desktop mode is largely not a Valve creation, it’s an existing desktop environment for Linux, KDE Plasma. Yet it extends what the user can do with the deck to a great extent, like for installing non-steam games.

The main disadvantage to the Deck using Linux is that most PC games are built for Windows and don’t run natively under Linux. To run games built for Windows, the Deck has to run it through Proton, a compatibility layer which is Valve’s own gaming-focused version of Wine. Wine/Proton is far from perfect, sometimes games require extensive tinkering to work, or only run with serious issues, or don’t run at all, no matter what you do. Sometimes a game not working with Wine due to some random but serious issue that comes naturally from running a Windows executable on a Linux system via a compatibility layer. Sometimes it’s due to things like a multiplayer’s game anti-cheat system requiring access to the Windows kernel, and it will block a Linux pc from running the game because it has no Windows kernel.

This is however not as big a problem as it might otherwise be. Most games work, more or less. Valve has put a lot of work and money into both their own Proton and the Wine project as a whole, and they work a lot better than they did 10 years ago. Many run perfectly out of the box, because they are native, or play nice with Proton. Some require mere minor tinkering, like using a different version of Proton. And I generally don’t play multiplayer games, or if I do they don’t have draconian anti-cheats, so the games that are blocked because of anti-cheat are no big loss to me. The Steam Deck not running Fortnite is a plus in my book.

And we shouldn’t forget the Steam Deck verified system. Basically Valve employees check if the game runs out of the box with no issues on the Deck. They get a verified rating if they work with no issue, including both proton compatibility but also things like the controls working nice and the text being legible on the deck’s small screen. They also get a “playable” rating if the game runs to an acceptable standard but with tinkering required or other minor issues.

This is a good system. If you dislike tinkering, you can just buy and play games on steam with a verified rating, and the deck will work like a normal console for you, but with a lot cheaper games. It’s a good way to get people used to consoles into PC gaming, which is probably the point of the Deck.

And if you want more than deck verified games from Steam on the Deck, you are given the freedom to do it. I’ve gotten officially non-supported steam games to run on the deck by installing and using proton-GE and I’ve installed and played games from GOG.

The Steam Deck is really how a Linux PC for the common people should work. An easy and slick experience for casual users, but freedom and customization given to those that want it.

[collapsedsquid]

Listened to some of Odd Lot's "Beak Capitalism" series, first episode was pretty much a "biases confirmed" moment about how the egg shortage was used as a way for suppliers to experiment with prices and see how much they could get away with raising them.

But the second one was interesting to me, this one was how chicken-raising works. Basically, the big companies who supply chicken contract with small farmers, the farmers build the barns and supervise the chickens, and the chickens which remain owned by the big company through whole process are given to the farmer as chicks and taken away when they are ready to be prepared. Feed, conditions, and the rest are mandated by the big companies, the farmers don't really have a lot of choice.

They compared it to the Uber business model while saying it predates Uber, to me Uber is a comparatively benign form of this business model and I was thinking of the way Amazon delivery subcontracting works. They aren't "employees" but have tight supervision, the "owner" is required to purchase the equipment. You sometimes see "Schools aren't teaching people how to balance a checkbook" but in the past year I've been thinking "schools aren't teaching people how to participate in a market," people being surprised by things that they should not be. This is clearly a bad deal.

And it's funny because you have the Coase thing "why do companies choose to have employees at all, why not participate as contracting individuals." This isn't about a merely about a legal dodge to save money, but a model of an optimally socially and individually efficient business where people would rent the equipment they use, buy the inputs and sell the outputs. But here you have something that from that "free market" perspective is the worst of all worlds, the farmers aren't even buying and selling the chickens, they have used a "free contract" to avoid a market. There is some performance pay but the farmer mentioned that pay is zero-sum, it's not about efficiency, it's about beating your neighbors.

And as someone who is interested in small business paranoia, one of the things I picked up was that the farmer they interviewed was convinced that their supplier was intentionally working to make sure the farmers remained in debt, so they would unable to quit. The big thing he mentioned was that they required spurious "upgrades" that the farmer is required to pay for and perform. As a city-slicker I am suspicious of these sorts of claims from farmers but it was interesting to hear about them.

[transmutationisms]

can you talk a bit more about weber (im refering to a post you made earlier today i think)? i know a bit about the protestant ethic theory but not really the historical context in which it was written nor how it's used today. thanks!

so, weber's argument is essentially that protestant (specifically calvinist and puritan) theology played a major causal role in the development of capitalism in northern europe following the reformation. his position was that protestant ethics, in contrast to catholicism, placed a high moral value on secular, everyday labour, but also discouraged the spending of one's wages on luxury goods, tithing to the church, or giving overmuch to charity. thus, protestants invested their money in business and commercial ventures instead, turning the generation of capital into a moral endeavour and venerating hard work and economic productivity as ways to ensure one's soul was saved (as the buying of indulgences was not an option for protestants).

this is a bad argument. at core it is idealist, subordinating an economic development to religious ideology. weber never explains how the actual, material economic changes he wants to talk about were effected by a set of ideas; he doesn't consider the possibility that the ideas themselves reflected in some way the material and economic context in which they were developed; he doesn't differentiate between protestantism as a causal factor in the development of capitalism, versus the possibility that capitalism and protestant conversion both resulted from some other factor or set of factors. <- these types of problems are endemic to 'history of ideas' aka 'intellectual history' because merely writing a history of the (learned, published) ideas circulating at a given time doesn't tell you jack about how and whether those ideas were actually implemented, how common people reacted to them or resisted them, what sorts of material circumstances the ideas themselves were formulated amidst, and so forth.

in the case of weber, it's very easy to poke holes in this supposed relationship between protestantism and capitalism. even in western europe alone, we could look at a country like france, which was quite catholic, never became predominantly or even significantly protestant, and yet also industrialised not long after, eg, the netherlands and england. we could also look at what historian michael kwass calls "court capitalism" in 18th-century france, which was a largely non-industrial form of capitalism that depended on the catholic king's central authority in order to ensure a return on investment. france at this time had a burgeoning luxury culture and a centralised, absolutist government that was closely entwined with the powerful catholic church—yet it also had economic development that is recognised as early capitalist, along with growing social and economic tensions between the nascent bourgeois and petit-bourgeois classes and the aristocracy. this is not even close to being the earliest example of capitalist or proto-capitalist economic development (some predates the reformation!), and again, this is within western europe alone—we could and should also point out that capitalism is not solely a european phenomenon and can and does coexist with other, radically different, religious ideology (i have problems with jack goody's work but this is something i think it can help elucidate).

weber argued that the 'spirit of capitalism' was no longer dependent on the protestant theology that had initially spawned it—but again, here we see issues with idealist methodologies in history. at what point, and how, does this 'spirit' become autonomous? what is it that has taken hold, if weber is not talking about the 'protestant ethic' itself and is also not interested in analysing the material changes that comprise capitalism except as effects of some underlying ideology? well, it's what he sees as a general shift toward 'rationalisation' and 'disenchantment' of the world, leading to an understanding of late 19th- and early 20th-century capitalism as a kind of spiritually unmoored servitude to mechanism and industry. this in turn relates back to weber's overall understanding of the legacy of the 'scientific revolution', which is another can of (bad) worms. there is a lot to say about these elements of weber's thought, but for starters the idea that europe was the progenitor of all 'scientific advancement', that it then simply disseminated such knowledge to the rest of the world (the apotheosis of the centre-periphery model, lmao), and that europe has become 'disenchanted', ie irreligious, as a result of such scientific advancement... is just patently bad analysis. it's eurocentric, chauvinistic, and simply demonstrably untrue in like twelve different ways.

anyway, when i see conservatives and reactionaries cite weber, i'm not surprised. his arguments are conservative (his entire intellectual paradigm in this text was part of his critique of marx and the premises of materialist / contextualist history). but when i see ostensible leftists doing it, often as some kind of dunk on protestantism (or christianity more generally, which is not even a good reading of weber's own understanding of catholicism), it's more irritating to me. i am not interested in 'leftisms' that are not materialist. weber's analysis is a bad explanation of how and why capitalism took hold; it doesn't even work for the limited northern european case studies he starts with because, again, idealist history fundamentally fails to explain how ideology itself creates material change. like, "some guy writes something down -> ??? -> everyone just agrees with him -> ??? -> stuff happens somehow" is not a good explanation of any phenomenon, lmao. if we are stuck on the idea that capitalism, a set of economic phenomena and real relations of production, is the result of ideology, then we will also be stuck trying to 'combat' capitalism on the ideological level. it's unserious and counterproductive. weber's analysis has retained an outsize position in the sociological historiography because it's an attractively simplistic, top-down, idealist explanation of both capitalism and protestantism that makes centuries worth of material changes to production forms into a kind of ideological coup ushering in an age of 'rationalism'. this is just not a text that tells us, leftists, anything politically useful. at best it is an explication of the internal psychological logics of (some) forms of protestantism in (some) places and contexts.

[justcallmesakira]

Pleaseee, could you do valentine event fluff 10 prompt with Chuuya?💗💗

''Why do I need a expensive perfume when i have your scent?''

Prompt 10 (fluff)

Sypnosis: You bought chuuya a very expensive perfume for your date tonight, but theres something else he craves more then a mere scent..

Chuuya x reader

Warnings: none!

A/N: Hi anonieee!! i am so glad you requested sorry this took some time i am currently very sick! Hope you will like it <3

Now playing- Diet mountain dew by Lana dey rey

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

You had a date with Chuuya today. Since valentines is coming soon why not visit a brand new restaurant with your lover? Chuuya loved ravishing and spoiling you whether it with dates or expensive items.

You were walking inside a mall to look for a special gift for Chuuya. He always wore a velvety perfume on him which always made an impact on you which he did not know.

You loved the air he carried when he entered a room

So why not buy him something? For all the things he did for you, his doll, his love and his sweetheart.

The shop you entered was very neat and expensive looking. There were various perfumes, designer bags, cosmetics etc.

All of the perfume bottles were bland but one caught your eye, a red and pink rhinestone embroided bottle with a wispy smell of roses. ''What a lovely combination...'' you thought as you asked one of the staff to get you this in an elegant bag with a satin pink ribbon tied around it.

When you went up to pay for the perfume you realised you have chuuyas credit card with you and was about to take it out but took out yours instead and payed it was sort of expensive.

You skipped out of the store happily of course you would buy him more things but for now you wanted to be more classy.

After that you bought a dignified pearly pink dress and bought a matching set of earrings with his card, He would pout if you didnt use his card.

Back at home

You got ready, with that dress you bought, A pretty and raspy one. However the thing you were excited most was giving chuuya the perfume you bought for him today.

It was almost 7 o` clock and you were adding touch ups to your glistening face with a muted salmon pink lip gloss.

The opening of the penthouse`s door opens

"Dear, I am home. hope you are ready.'' Your eyes dart form the vanity mirror to the open door and his leaning figure against the doorframe.

"Oh chuuya!! I see you are ready just a moment please.'' you said trying to tie a satin ribbon around your neck. Chuuyas eye widen in curiosity but it returns to a soft smirk as he walks over to your sitting posture.

"Here let me tie it" Chuuya breathed out with his head atop of yours and his gloved hands tying the ribbon around your neck into a fancy ribbon.

You can feel his body warmth from behind.

Finally he finished and he took a prismatic glass bottled perfume from the perfume set on the white table and sprayed it on your collarbone, taking in he fragrance. You stood up.

"Chuuya...I bought a gift for you" you spit out while taking out a small bag with the perfume inside, Chuuyas eye widen in happiness and chuckles.

"Doll, you didnt had to you know..?" he says before reaching for the bag and taking out the perfume from the bag. His eyes meet the satin strip tied neatly around the neck of the bottle. ''Sweetheart,,, did you use your money to buy this?" He asks calmly with his heterochromic orbs eyeing your facial expressions to which you only nodded

"Well it was a gift!'' You reply anxiously.

Chuuya leans closer to you and gently pushes you against the vanity table with his hands caging you in his space but keeps a safe distance.

''Why do i need expensive perfumes when i have your scent''

Chuuyas voice breathes out with his face leaning into yours with a serious look in his eyes. You can feel his breathe on your collarbone and his lips slightly nibbling on the place where he sprayed the perfume.

"Now lets get going, dressed up all pretty for me cant let that go to waste now can we?'' he leaned back letting your flustered hot body relax before taking your purse and following him out the apartment.

Ever since then you took extra note on which perfume he is using.

A/N: ugh *cough cough* because of my cold perfume prob smells like rotten airplane food

[nightmarexdove]

SA victim! Reader × RE8 Chris redfield

Note: Made this honestly for myself, been struggling allot emotionally and mentally and I really just needed to write something to give me comfort. I decided to share this in hopes of giving others struggling with similar situations a comfort as well! :') I do want to apologize if this writing comes off as rude or ignorant in any kind of way, I've mainly used my own experiences to tailor this together but I've tried to use universal language to make it feel more personal to the reader. I hope you guys enjoy 💞

The day you opened up to him about your assault or rape was when you were having a particularly bad day in your head, you were having flashbacks of that very moment that ruined you for the rest of your life. Your depression, anger and confusion hit you like a train. You didn't want to be around anyone, not even the man who was trying so hard that day to get you to open up about what was getting you so down. But for whatever the reason maybe, you just couldn't. He worked during what felt like, every damn day of the week, he had enough on his plate. Plus, fear and apprehension was keeping you radio silent the longest. What if he just rolled his eyes, laughed and didn't believe you? Then what? Your relationship wouldn't be the same or just wouldnt exist anymore at all so you thought anyways. Chris would leave you in a heartbeat, no questions asked.

"Baby no- I'm sorry, I can for a fact guarantee you are talking out your ass right now. It's written all over your face."

You could imagine him, you could imagine him saying those very words and right there and then everything you've built with him over the years would fall apart in mere seconds.

I could imagine that in reality, he'd be always ready to talk no matter what or how he's feeling. Because right now, he could matter less. trying to offer you comfort in the forms of snacks, blankets hugs and kisses.

What alarmed him was when you'd force yourself out of his embrace, when you'd stay away from the comforts that you may have typically enjoyed.

He'd be worried sick alright, calling Claire for advice on how he could better help you and maybe get a idea of what your silent struggles where about lately.

You'd sit with him after a few days, and he'd listen face to face with you ears eyes and thoughts all devoted to you, his angel.

"Oh hun...I'm so so sorry, I should have been less pushy. I'm so sorry."

He'd whisper in a quiet, softer voice. Letting you throw yourself at him for a tight hug, all he could feel was- hurt. He felt hurt seeing you hurt, especially THIS hurt. He may not be able to fully understand your pain, but he empathizes and wants nothing more than to take care of you in any way he could.

You want a bubble bath? Say less, your his number one priority.

Takeout from your favorite place, he's getting something from there too.

Or if you just want to vent about it, if you just need his undying attention then so be it.

He'd listen to you all day, keeping you wrapped in his enormous arms safe against his chest and safe in the four walls of your shared space.

"You are so so strong sweetheart, so brave and stronger than you think. I'd say, your stronger than me and my men, your safe here and I'll make sure it stays like that. If you ever need to talk, you know you'll have me, whatever you need."

He'd reassure you in that warm voice of his, like honey his words fell from his lips if you needed to cry or already crying, He'd keep you held close against him, letting you get everything out.

If you needed sometime in therapy, Chris would search for the best place money could buy. He wanted you to feel well, to feel cared and loved and thought about.

I could imagine him to be a VERY patient man, if you were having a flashback that day or just very upset and angry he'd understand and let you express your needs. Weather through writing them down gesturing, or just out right telling him. He'll let you decide and be right with you to support your health and mind.

If there were certain things that especially reminded you of the time, Chris would ask you to either tell him or write it down so that way he'll know to not bring it up or bring a said object near you just to give an example.

If you liked to draw, paint or bake or just chill and watch movies. He'd definetly do these activities with you whenever he's available, he'd definitely check in with you more than previously either texting calling or just asking in person. He knows this is a very delicate moment and time for you, so he'll keep tabs on you 24/7.

When he's away and on duty for work, I can imagine him going to Leon and asking if he could find for him any Intel on your abuser. And during his time away from home, he'd make it his personal mission to find and take care of the waste of air who hurt his precious sunshine.

[redwavefeminist]

i don't use the word "classist" because it was built in analogy with "racist" or "sexist" even though there is a difference of nature between racism, sexism and classism. the problem with racism and sexism is thus: you are getting discriminated because of your skin colour/ethnicity, you are getting discriminated because of your sex, but in a better world, it'd still be possible for you to be female or to be black/brown without facing discrimination; discrimination isn't inherent to being born female or black/brown; the feminist and antiracist movements therefore aim at abolishing the structures that give rise to sexism and racism.

the same cannot be said of classism; saying "you are getting discriminated because of your class" is redundant and tautological. because, while you could (in a better world) be female and not oppressed, we cannot conceive of a world where economic classes exist and yet class-based discrimination does not. as opposed to being born female or being born brown, being born poor is in itself exploitative. you cannot dissociate poverty from oppression. calling an incident "classist" implies that the rest of the time, you are suffering from less discrimination on the basis of your class, which is not the case. when you are poor, you get discriminated on the basis of your class every single day, every time you go buy the groceries, every time you go buy your bus ticket, every time you have to spend money, every time you have to work for barely anything -- that is, you are being exploited every day. the word "classist" neglects and erases the reality of daily life in poverty

it's the exact same thing as replacing the word "sexism" by "genderism" (or "gender-based discrimination"). it implies gender is neutral in itself, and that women are being sometimes discriminated on the basis of their gender. but the actual problem is that gender is in itself oppressive, it's gender we are meant to fight, not the most overt manifestations of misogyny, but also the way it permeates our day-to-day life. same thing with "classism". class isn't in itself neutral: it is inherently exploitative for the working-class, that's why we have to destroy the class system entirely, instead of merely fighting the most overt forms of workplace discrimination. do you see how the word "classism" only serves capitalist interest? it downplays the necessity for a revolutionary fight and for the liberation of the working-class

another reason i hate the word "classist": it conceals who the real victims of class-based discrimination is. it implies anyone can be discriminated on the basis of their class, when that's not the case: it's only the working class (and parts of the middle classes) that are. upper middle classes and the bourgeoisie never are

a third reason i hate the word "classist": it implies class society is just one of the avatars of systemic social oppression, just like racism or sexism, when class society is the overarching structure that gave rise to sexism and racism. i am not saying that anti-capitalism is a more important fight than feminism or antiracism, i am not saying that overthrowing capitalism would solve sexism and racism. i am saying that women are a social class under patriarchy (something many radical left-wing feminists, like christine delphy, have argued) and that race/racism were invented during modern times to justify the exploitation of black people and third world people, who were made to occupy a proletarian social class (something that historians have argued as well). using the word "classist" transforms class society into one of the many consequences of social inequality, when in actuality, it's class society itself that is the root of social inequality. it's because women and men are organized in a class system (men over women), white people and poc are organized in a class system (white over brown), humans in general are organized in a class system (rich over poor) that inequality exists

so i don't use the word "classist". half the time it can be replaced by "class-based prejudice", when talking about incidents (for example, when my workplace was illegal paying me under the minimum wage), and half the time, by "class society", when talking about the general climate of oppression the working class lives in

[kendrene]

crudely compliment appearance - jillian and mother superion :)

Afternoon training sessions have become an unexpected form of entertainment within the OCS. The late afternoon slot, after the flagstones in the courtyard have gone from boiling hot to merely warm, and slanting sunlight paints across the stained glass of the cathedral in sparks of orange-gold.

It’s at that time, as the day fades first to memory then dream, that Mother Superion calls the new recruits to the training mats one by one and wipes the floor with them for a good hour and a half. 

“I didn’t think someone that old could move so quickly.” Today, Ava sits astride the banister ringing the upper cloister, back pressed against a marble column. She’s still flushed from their own training, the messy braid she gathered her hair in to keep it out of the way slowly coming undone. Beatrice tries hard not to stare. “How old is Supes exactly, by the way? Like sixty?” 

Mary makes a disgusted sound deep in her throat.

“What?” Ava raises an eyebrow. The sun is pretty much gone, dipped behind the outer buildings, but a stray reflection crowns her head in fire. Beatrice’s focus drifts from the discussion again. To Ava. To the miracle of having her back by their side. Her side. Until the words Ava adds next. “She’s ancient, right? She gives off that vibe.”

“I don’t think I should ask—” Mary starts.

“You most definitely should not.” Beatrice interjects. She can sort of tell where this is going, and for once hopes to be wrong. 

“—but what vibe do you mean, Ava?” 

“Y’know, the old-dude-in-the-Bible vibe. What’s his face? Methuser-something.”

It’s such a burden to always be right.

“Methuselah.” Beatrice enunciates slowly. She plants both elbows on the banister, leaning in the space left between Ava and Mary. “And I can guarantee Mother Superion isn’t 969.”

“Have you seen her birth certificate or something?”

“Ava—”

“I’m just asking, okay?” Ava throws her hands up, placatingly. “I mean, she’s old, but also hot, kind of? It’s hard to put an actual age on her, really.”

“Please—” Mary is cut off by a yelp and a crash. The three of them look down in unison to see that one of the recruits is sprawling, weaponless, in the middle of a pile of upturned equipment. Camila, who’s overseeing training with Superion for the day, helps the girl up. “��� do not say that ever again.” Mary continues. 

“Oh? Are you afraid of the truth?” 

“Both of you shut up and look.” Down below someone new is stepping on the mat, a stave clutched nervously in her hands. “It’s Yasmine’s turn.” 

“Five euros she lasts less than three minutes.” Ava immediately says.

“Ten euros she lasts at least five.” Mary snipes back.

Beatrice shakes her head. “You should be ashamed. Twenty euros and I say she actually disarms Mother Superion.”

“Unlikely.”

“Impossible.”

Beatrice crosses her arms.

“You ought to support your Sisters in times of— wow.” 

Mother Superion does something with her cane that even Beatrice’s eyes can’t follow, and Yasmine stumbles back, unbalanced. Trips on her own feet, ending up much the same way of the previous recruit, except that Yasmine, somehow, has kept a hold of her weapon. 

“You were saying?” Ava, smug as ever, sticks her tongue out.

“She’s still armed.” Yasmine is picking herself up, using the staff like the cane Superion carries with her everyday but has no need of anymore. “It doesn’t count.”

“Fine.” Ava nods. “Looks like they’re going for round two, anyway. Care to add pizza to our little bet?” 

“Double cheese and mushroom from the Italian place in town.” Beatrice says absently. Mother Superion has picked two other girls from the ranks and they’ve surrounded her, circling to find the right opening and strike. “I’m sure Cam will let you borrow the money if you buy her pizza, too.”

“Bold of you to assume that I’ll lose.”

“Bolder of you to assume that you won’t.”

Banter quickly dies off in the face of what next goes on at their feet. It all becomes a blur. Strike, riposte, repeat. The only noise that can be heard is the clak-clak-clak of the staffs clashing as the girls seek to score a first hit. Superion seems able to block everything they can think of throwing at her. 

“Oh,” Someone breathes out a little shakily next to Beatrice’s ear. “I’d totally hit that.”

Jillian Salvius has become, much like the late afternoon spectacles, a permanent fixture in these parts. Most days there’s something that needs mending, some new piece of tech Jillian wants them to try to help them in the coming war. Beatrice always thought it strange so much of it is personally delivered, and Jillian’s (probably unintentional) confession puts the situation under a brighter, blinding light.

“You’d what?” Ava’s voice rings out over the courtyard and training grinds to a halt. Everyone is staring up.

Dusk has extended its cold, blue hand on them all, but even in the fading light Beatrice can tell the tips of Jillian’s ears are heated red. 

“Isn’t that what you young people say?" She shifts on the balls of her feet, awkward, leaning away from Superion's hawk-like line of sight. "I’m trying to stay on top of idiomatic shifts in—” 

“Yeah,” Ava will remark sometimes later, after Mother Superion appeared among them and told Jillian to stay while the rest of them scattered like leaves in a storm. “I bet she’s trying to stay on top of someone alright…”

[caker-baker]

Sign

They didn’t actually need to look to see who it was, nor did they need to move from their leaned position against the railing. “Do me a favor and fuck off for a minute.”

“Now, now, Hero. That’s no way to treat an honored guest.”

“Fuck you. We both know that identity isn’t yours.” The hero ran a hand over their tired face. “I don’t care, whatever angle you have tonight, but if you kill someone–”

“That would be a spectacle. You should have already guessed that tonight is about espionage, considering the stolen identity and all.” The villain rested their hands on the railing next to the hero, but did not fully relax.

“Fantastic.” The hero’s voice fell flat. “Go back inside, then.”

Despite themself, the villain’s eyes wandered over the hero’s slouched form.

Even in their current crumpled and defeated mannerism, the hero was a sight to behold.

Nothing but the finest of clothes these days, a hair and makeup team had undoubtedly fussed over the hero for hours to get the current superstar affect, and of course, those fine clothes highlighted those hard earned muscles, but funnily enough, the scars seemed to have been hidden.

“You look miserable.”

The hero took a sharp breath in. “You don’t get to say that.”

“I told you what it would be if you signed, if you gave yourself to the government, say the word and I’ll fix it.”

The villain nearly jumped when the hero’s head swiveled towards them, expression close to feral.

“Fix what?” They spat. “I never have to worry about another bill in my life, medicine, housing, food, they do it all, Villain.” The hero turned away. “And all I have to do is dress up sometimes? Pose for a picture so they can put my face on a lunchbox?”

“You’re a product, Hero. They wave you around to show off their new attack dog.”

“I am not–!” They slammed their fist on the railing. It cracked, startling the hero, who stumbled back a few steps.

The villain reached out a hand, only to retract it when the hero pulled away.

“Whatever. It’s an equal exchange.”

The villain’s typically wide and watchful eyes softened. “Why didn’t you take my offer?”

Huffing, the hero turned, straightening out their form as they prepared to go back inside. “Go to hell.”

The villain reached out, gripping the hero’s arm, determined not to let them pull away this time.

“You used to be happy! You used to take pride in doing good!”

“I also used to be hungry and on the verge of homelessness. Let go.”

“I would have helped you. Why didn’t you let me help you?”

The hero ripped away their arm, turning and coming face to face with the villain, a mere inch apart.

“You don’t know what it’s like to owe someone.” The hero stepped forward, the villain stepped back. “All of you rich assholes are the same. If you had helped me, me, your enemy, it would have meant something else entirely. I can’t do that.”

Another step, another, and another.

“I never would have held it above you, Hero.” The villain had to keep walking backwards until they bumped into the railing. “I’m not like that–”

“You are! You’re an awful person. Do you think that I believe you’d make an exception for me? And why? Just because you enjoy villainy? Because you find all this entertaining?”

The hero’s eyes watered. “For them, I take pictures, I sign autographs, I wear the brand sponsored clothes and go to stupid galas, and yeah, sometimes I’m just there to look scary, but you know what I’m not doing? Giving myself away in a sense that I could never regain. What would it be for you?”

The villain opened their mouth, and closed it again.

What would it be for them? They didn’t like to stop and think about these unspoken feelings, the feelings that drove them in an unfamiliar and warm way, feelings that made them go on espionage missions that weren’t actually important.

What were they hoping to gain by helping the hero? Praise? Gratitude? Admiration?

Love?

As if reading the villain’s mind, the hero spoke.

“What would it be for you? Because for all the money in the world, you can’t buy that.” The hero scoffed, backing away. “You know, they really try to play up the strong but dumb image, makes it easier for sponsors to buy into, but I’m not an idiot.”

“Of course you’re not.”

Suddenly, the hero’s eyes turned upwards, looking, looking, looking.

“Doesn’t look like there’s any cameras up here.” The hero’s shoulders dropped a little. “If someone found out I damaged the railing, they’d probably…”

The villain raised an eyebrow. “They’d probably…?”

“It doesn’t matter.” They held their chin high. “I’m going inside. Have your fun tonight, but any deaths and I will fly your sorry ass straight into the sun.”

“Naturally.” The villain smiled gently, although they were positive that if the hero could somehow survive in space, they would, in fact, fly the villain’s sorry ass into the sun.

But the hero didn’t respond, didn’t give any notice to the villain’s existence as they slipped through the door, a full photo-op ready picture of grace.

The villain let out a shuttering breath once the door closed again, heart hammering in their chest.

No, no, no time for that. The villain couldn’t let this new feeling distract them, there were things to be done, olive branches to be offered, and signatures to be burned.

[magicwithclass]

Value Boosters in Bloomburrow.

With the discontinuation of the draft booster, there was a void in the market for a cheaper booster product. Play boosters typically cost between 4 dollars and 6 dollars, depending on the set, and that is actually quite expensive for a casual experience. The audience has been demanding a cheaper booster product because people like the thrill and excitement of cracking packs. The adrenaline is quite addictive and that experience can not be matched by opening a preconstructed starter deck or commander deck. Even so, they did attempt to put a taste of opening packs into commander decks in the form of the collector booster sample pack. Wizards of the Coast's market research must show that adding the collector booster to commander decks leads to more people going out and buying more product. The sample pack is not meant to be a free include but is meant to mimic the, "first one is free," drug mentality that gets so many people hooked. The starter decks and commander decks do a great job, value value, of giving players a product that they can play right out of the box and upgrade over time. Yet, you need to know your market! Of course, you should buy the singles you need and not risk your money on what is essentially a mystery box. However, that is simply not the reality of our world. People want to open pack. Players want to experience the rush of tearing the pack open and smelling the new cards. The sense of excitement as you flip through the cards. Your anticipation builds as you get closer to the pack hit. The, either you hit big and want to relive the experience or you miss and you feel the urge to open more packs until your body feels the reward chemicals released into your body. The value boosters are merely a product meant to prey on our emotions and desires using research to maximize squeezing money out of groups of people. That can not be replicated by buying cards on the secondary market. Wizards is selling a feeling. Other companies like card kingdom or tcgplayer sell cards. It is possible to sell emotions for a reasonable price but these products typically target people with addictive personalities and are exploitative. Do I think this new value booster is any more exploitative than any other random booster product? Currently, there are are a lot of unkowns. First, the price of a pack, or even an approximate price, has not been stated. There is no more msrp but they sometimes include an approximate cost. In the very short article that introduces this product, there is no discussion of the price. It is only stated that this is a more budget-friendly option for players that just want to open cards. The price is going to matter. Sometimes I would see pokemon or yugioh cards in family dollar or dollar tree. These packs were only a dollar and less than two dollars. As a parent, shutting my kid up with a one dollar pack while I shop could prove worth it. How many times did you beg your parent for something in a store as a kid that you didn't even really want? Getting mtg cards into these dollar stores will widen the audience that is exposed to the game. Now, kids will start to recognize mtg from a younger age because they see the products alongside pokemon cards. If the price of a pack is less than 2 dollars, I will say that the value pack will be a success. It is a cheap way to get cards into the hands of a younger audience. Society is typically much more ok with spending a buck or two on something rather than 5 dollars. Wizards of the Coast is releasing this new product to widen the brand and not really to sell more cards. These value packs are meant to expose children to mtg when they are young as an on ramp to the game when they are a little older. if I have mtg cards as a kid and then I see a crossover with my favorite franchise, then these marketing strategies are meant to continuously draw people back into the game. Expose someone to something when they are young and you may have hooked them for the rest of their lives.

[yupuffin]

I'd like able-bodied cosplayers to understand that when I say I adapt costume designs to my disability by reducing complexity during construction (namely for Genshin Impact, my current hyperfixation, which is also notorious for needlessly detailed costumes), I'm not simply skipping details because I feel like it* or "cutting corners" because I'm lazy.

It's like that one time a few years ago when I was on the second-to-last day of a sea kayaking trip with a group of other students from my college. Stick with me for this metaphor.

It was a ten-day-long trip, so we'd only packed what we could all fit on our kayaks, including food. Since we were nine days in, we were getting to the end of our food supplies--though, with our return to populated areas, we were able to make a grocery stop for ingredients for our final dinner of the trip, which would be a vegetable stir-fry.

We had $20 in the budget to buy ingredients for a meal to feed over a dozen people.

VOCALOID is one of my special interests, so the first words out of my mouth, without much consideration behind them, were "green onions."

In response, one of the guides wondered aloud, "Do green onions really add anything to a stir-fry?"

Don't get me wrong, I'll add green onions to any stir-fry given the opportunity; they do add that vaguely spicy-sweet kick that complements other flavors really well. So it's not like they don't add anything.

However, given our limited budget, in contrast to the size of the meal we had to make, it didn't make sense to spend a significant portion of our money on an ingredient that would function primarily as a garnish--something that serves mostly to enhance flavor; IIRC we ended up buying things like carrots and green peppers, which would instead add the substance we needed to make enough food for everyone.

With a disability that affects my motor control, constructing cosplays above a certain level of detail/complexity is like putting together a large meal on budget constraints--because I can only spend so long on a costume before I get burnt out, and every piece of fine detailing I add takes increasingly more time, just as every ingredient you add to a stir-fry takes increasingly more money.

So when I'm planning construction for a cosplay, it's like looking in the produce aisle of a grocery store and deciding what to spend $20 on. Metaphorically speaking, I'm going to want to prioritize details that add "substance," rather than those that function merely as a "garnish."

I have to look at every detail on the costume, think through how I would construct it--often multiple times, to ensure I'm using the optimal techniques--and consciously decide: What does this detail add to the costume? How much of my limited time and focus is it going to take? How well can I reliably replicate it given my disability? Considering all of these factors, does including this detail justify its contribution to the completed piece?

It's its own form of strategizing and problem-solving. I'm not doing it solely to make my life easier--I'm doing it because my disability effectively puts me on a sort of non-monetary budget and I have to optimize how I'm going to utilize that budget (on top of financially budgeting!).

Competitions, including cosplay competitions, are equal, not fair, so there's no way to completely remove ableism from cosplay judging. As you might say, judges gonna judge. They're just doing their job, and they get to make the final decisions in terms of scoring and placements, so I'm not going to pretend that I can influence the opinion of every cosplay judge out there with my metaphor.

Still, going forward, I'd like to see increased awareness of ableism in the cosplay environment--specifically, saving the judgment for the competition, and even then, realizing that a simple numerical score can never encapsulate the full nuance of any given cosplayer's experience with the construction of their piece; any number of factors you might initially think are conscious decisions on a cosplayer's part are actually responses to factors completely beyond their control, like dis/ability, budget, access to tools and materials, and other forms of privilege.

*Even if I am skipping details just because I feel like it, it's because I'd rather have a completed costume I can enjoy than get so frustrated and hung up on it that it makes me want to quit cosplay altogether. I resent that crunching and causing ourselves so many negative emotions over building a costume that just has to be perfect is so normalized that, from my experience, it's effectively a requirement for competitive cosplayers.

[biblioflyer]

Visible Mutations and Power Level: Same Storm, Different Boats.

Previously I discussed why X-Men as a setting is fundamentally pessimistic as a necessity according to the creative choices made. It is an essay in 5 parts:

1,2,3,4,5

A bonus chapter on the class dimensions of X-Men and how this informs the assumptions of the principle actors has exploded into an essay all on its own. As Tolkien would say, the tale grew in the telling.

This chapter examines different forms of privilege and liabilities.

Something that I only vaguely gestured at that a reader pointed out likely had profound significance was Xavier’s wealth and his ability to pass as Sapiens. At least until he was publicly outed by Gyrich. Of course, as the old trope goes, much like any straight ally was automatically presumed to be gay not even all that long ago, Xavier was long the subject of rumors.

Xavier’s wealth and status as Human passing very likely plays a role in influencing his rosier outlook on Human affairs compared to Magneto. That isn’t to say that Xavier has faced no hardship, but money has a way of buying discretion. Xavier’s lifestyle adds an extra layer of security atop his already discreet powers in a few different ways.

High society can be unapologetic gossips and gatekeepers, but money opens doors that might be denied to more lowly specimens around whom there are rumors of having unnatural abilities. Additionally, large estates protect privacy and easy international travel means Charles can lay low if he has an outburst that raises suspicions.

All in all, except for when Gyrich attacks him and triggers a public display of his abilities, Charles has always been the one in charge of who gets to know he is a Mutant. As a consequence, while I firmly agree with Xavier’s ideals at the level of principle, Xavier has a natural bias towards optimism. 

For his reality checks, he has to rely on empathy and the occasional direct exposure to someone’s memories and the trauma contained within, to understand how challenging it is to be a Mutant, especially a visible Mutant, in the world outside of Xavier’s mansion without resources or allies.

As a telepath who has done deep trauma work with the likes of Wolverine, Rogue, Sabertooth, and Magneto: I’m inclined to cut Charles quite a bit of slack. I think it's important to remember that he has willingly thrust himself into the minds of people who have had some of the worst experiences a human being, Sapiens or Mutatis, can have. That when he comes out of their minds he is surrounded by the trappings of inherited wealth matters, but attributing complete insensitivity and ignorance to him seems overly harsh.

For the moral messaging of the setting, it matters that Xavier is someone who acts as the trauma sponge for everyone who shows up on his doorstep, even the likes of Sabertooth, and still wakes up most days and chooses to pursue justice within Human created power systems and advocates for an integrated society. 

Notably, Xavier’s path of integration means that he himself implicitly is seeking a legal system that is recognized as having legitimacy by both Humans and Mutants. That legal system is one that could, at least in theory, hold Xavier accountable if used his powers in a manner deemed unacceptable by Human and Mutantkind. 

This is, again in theory, at least one answer to something I’m calling “the Omega problem.” Some Humans are granted inordinate power by various social constructs like presidencies, directorships, expertise, and wealth itself, ultimately even the top 1% of all special operators can’t really hope to personally, through force or the threat of force, impose their will upon more than a handful of people at a time with the right equipment without their luck running out. Ask King Charles I (England), Czar Nicholas II, Saddam Hussein, Moamar Qaddaffi, or Yevgeny Prigozhin how well things work out for a mere mortal when the social construct that empowers them is dissolved. Even the Ancient Egyptians were known to expedite the cycle of Pharaoh incarnating as Osiris in the Underworld so that a new, more pliable god on Earth could embody Horus.

Next: How Mutant powers scramble the assumptions behind Human systems of justice in a manner guaranteed to cause panic.