#But I like reading stuff like this from other artists
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Nightmare and Dream but feral, non-skeletal body!
For the love of god PLEASE click on the image for better quality + close ups and clothed version under the cut!!
Would you kiss them?
Video process:
I made these using a specific context
A while ages ago I drew and posted a drawing of Nightmare and Dream on their light ball form but with some alterations/personal headcanons.
On the post, I expressed my desire to draw the twins in a universe were Nim didn’t need to give them bodies, and just let them grow naturally. And specifically give them an animalistic appearance, instead of a humanoid one like most artist do.
You can see on the process video that it took me 1000 sketches to make something that looked good and I was happy with, the video is obviously sped up, the total time it took me to make this was 28 hours and 15 minutes.
Now explaining some things:
Why are they so big?
I read on a post made by Joku that Nim, before giving them skeleton bodies, tried to make them human ones, but the pure amount of magic and power the twins had made the human bodies explode or some shit. So she picked skeletons since the magic could flow freely through the bones without being confined by muscle and flesh. That made me think if their power had physical forms, it would be gigantic. So I gave them gigantic forms to better represent their status of strength and power, beings made from raw magic to serve as guardians of all emotions throughout the multiverse, of course I needed to make them big and intimidating!
Why the horns?
Artistic design choice, I gave them little horns and a chubby tail in their light ball form to purposefully make them more animalistic, wanted to keep it while making these. Also just giving them a smooth head with nothing much going on looked weird and boring.
Why the draconian look?
Dragons had been created and depicted as symbols of pure power above humanity and worshipped as deities throughout several cultures around the world, different depictions of dragons has been one of the only things present among almost all cultures, like a default folklore creature. While I tried to incorporate other mythical creatures in the design, the draconic body plan felt more right due to the influence of dragons on human beliefs, and their representation as magical and powerful beings beyond human comprehension. Plus I just really love drawing dragons.
Why the clothing choice? Also why is Dream half naked while Nightmare has everything covered?
While designing the clothes for Nightmare, I used as reference clothing that usually royalty would wear, Nightmare has a really big ego and sees himself as a king, so he uses fancy, expensive clothing and jewelry, adapted and designed for his anatomy. Not practical for battle, but his corruption can go through the fabric without damaging it, and most people and monsters just run when they see him, so he doesn’t worry about it getting dirty or tearing, Nightmare just expects every soul to instantly submit when they see him, so he never worries about getting into a battle and getting dirty he has that big of an ego.
Dream is the opposite, his style of clothing much more practical for running, jumping, flying, fighting and general exercise. He has 4 bags in total, 2 on each side, inside them he keeps several items, be it healing food, magical artifacts, first aid kit, gifts he receives, stuff he buys or random things he finds and wants to take home with him. Dream’s crown is now a colar couldn’t figure out how to make it work with the head shape and horns, his cape is from his official design, but changed to white, was planning to make it yellow but when I looked at it my eyes hurt because there was too much yellow everywhere. I made Dream’s clothes with the intent to match his official design, I didn’t to the same for nightmare because a turtle neck with a hoodie on a dragon would make him more huggable than intimidating. Plus I like to think that the leg warmers was a gift from Blue, and the ring on his horn a gift from Ink. Didn’t add more stuff on him because I couldn’t think of something that would look good and match Dream’s vibe, the rest of his clothes on his official design didn’t translate well here. Oh, while I was drawing this, I drew the colar and the leg warmers first, without the cape, Dream looked like a twink with a pet play kink.
Side note; neither Nightmare or Dream see the use of clothes as a necessity or as decency. For them clothes are nothing but pure decoration and to show off status for Nightmare, they can wear full body suits, partial clothing, just jewelry, or nothing at all, which is what they usually go for when at home, wearing or not wearing stuff doesn’t make that much of a difference to them at all.
Do they act as animals or do they have human intelligence?
Despite me using the word “feral” all the time to describe them, they do not actually act as animals. I’m only using “feral” to describe their body/anatomy, Nightmare and Dream are fully sentient and have human level intelligence/awareness. They are capable of speech and have opposable thumbs on their front paws, they can grab, write, hold… do anything a human can do with their hands with dexterity. But they do have to use only hand one at a time, and balance themselves with the other. To use both hands, they have to be sitting, or be supported by something, they can balance themselves on their wings if they have to.
And now contradicting what I just said, they have some animalistic behaviors. The twins can growl, purr and roar. Despite Nightmare being able to use his tentacles and Dream being able to shoot magic arrows out of his wings, they to also scratch and bite while fighting. Since they are big and heavy, they can easily crush bone under their weight and their bite force is strong enough to split someone in half. If you need a reference, just use Smaug from The Hobbit, he has more or less the balance of animal behavior and human intelligence I’m looking for.
Expanding more on this, the twins stretch just like felines, and often sleep in positions usually cats sleep in (they don’t actually need to sleep but do anyway). Dream likes to go fishing, and by fishing I mean jumping in a lake and chasing the fish underwater. He finds it more fun than sitting around and waiting for the fish to come to you instead.
I guess you count their lack of necessity to wear clothes as animal logic too?
_________________
If you have any more questions about them, I will be happy to answer!
And yes, I do plan on making more drawings of Nightmare and Dream on this form!
Dreamtale belongs to @jokublog
Feral concept/design by @yakutarts (me)
#artists on tumblr#art#artwork#drawing#digital art#digital artwork#furryart#design#furry#sfw furry#undertale#dreamtale#undertale multiverse#UTMV#sans#dream sans#nightmare sans#dream#nightmare#underverse#utmv sans#utmv fanart#dreamtale fanart#dream!sans#nightmare!sans#yakut arts#yakutarts#yakut art#Yakut#dragon
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Less smut, more meaningful words with such eloquence, well executed plot, characterizations and world building.
A Loki (Marvel)/Reader Fic Recommendation
If you’re like me, who loves to read longer fics then this blog post is for you. This list features beautiful books I have read featuring Loki and the reader for the past 5 years. This is long overdue I have been planning to do this for a while now. I’ll do my best to share all of them in one post (might probably edit this once I remember more). One thing, I really love when an author finds a way to not use Y/N. Enjoy the list!
Completed Fics
Frostbite by Maiden_of_Asgard
Synopsis:
Iceland is nice - sure, you probably should’ve picked a time of year when the weather was a little warmer, but it isn’t too bad, and at least you’re away from your desk job, right? It’s a pretty big adventure.
You’ve always said that you wanted more adventure in your life.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This one you’ve probably read, if not go check it out. It’s one of the best out there. I mean, need I say more?
The Proposal by BirdsofHermes
Synopsis:
An AU gender-reversal of the 2009 romantic comedy The Proposal. You work for Loki Laufeyson at Asgard International Publishing. He accidentally lets his work Visa expire and is about to be deported back to England, so he blurts out that he's marrying you. Now you have to convince an immigration inspector as well as your own family that you're in love with Loki or he gets deported for life and you face five years jail time.
Review:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I have read this more than one can count fingers in their hands.
Broken Crown by Michelleleahhh
Synopsis:
Your betrothal to Thor was convenient - brokered as an alliance between two powerful families.
Your marriage to Loki... is unimaginable.
Review:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Please proceed with caution and read the tags. When I read this the first time, I was new to this world but I remembered enjoying reading this piece. I just recently re-read this, and I just found some minor stuff I didn’t really enjoy. Overall the story and the plot got me hooked however, there’s just few chapters that I feel could’ve been explored more and executed better. Still, I enjoyed reading this the second time around.
Fǫruneyti by Evaldrynn
Synopsis:
A story in which a herbalist makes a decision that will drastically change her life, and in which a prince begins to realise that there might still be hope for him yet. A tale of danger, adventure, friendship - and, ultimately, love.
Review:
⭐️⭐️⭐️✨
This one I stopped reading at 70%, I have certain icks when it comes to reading and once I reach that ick jar I’m done. It was still beautifully written, got me hooked and all, loved the progress. What can I say, I love slow burns.
The Devil Inside by Ursus_minor
Synopsis:
You're a free lance artist and just running short of rent money for the month, so when your good buddy Thor offers you a one-off job at his sister's company, you take it - even though helping his little brother out with some paperwork sounds awfully tedious
I always wondered what Loki, Hela and Thor would do if they were 'mere mortals'
Review:
⭐️⭐️⭐️✨
It’s deleted but I was lucky enough to have read this way back 2020. It was one of my favorite back then, because it was hard to find a long fic where Loki is not the God of Mischief but just a mere mortal living amongst us. I honestly forgot most about this story, I only remember bits and pieces, you’re Thor’s best friend and he helped you gain money by working under Loki, like the synopsis said.
A Study In Suit by lowkeyorloki
Synopsis:
You've worked too damn hard to get into Professor Laufeyson's course, and you're not about to let your pesky attraction to him get in the way. Your Professor, however, has other plans.
Review:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Professor Loki. That’s it.
From the Void, With Love by pilotisms
Synopsis:
Torn from time, you have to navigate the TVA with the one person who singlehandedly tried to conquer NYC. Turns out you & him have a future-past. Time is weird.
Review:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is one of the best I’ve read, this is my second to The Proposal. I fucking love this you have no idea. Wished there was a longer sequel though.
Litklœði by GoldTrimmedSpectacles
Synopsis:
“And the sire promised that he would spend the rest of his days searching for the cure of the flower disease which took his friend. And he did find this cure, but not without a cost,” Frigga explained and stroked Loki’s head as the illusions vanished. “But now, when one is fraught with flowers in their chest, a völva can remove these flowers with seiðr – saving the victim’s life and removing the vines from their lungs.”
The Allmother paused and looked at your small, childish face. Her smile was kind and full, but her eyes lay empty and sad. The knowledge of yet to come lay heavy on her features.
However, be warned my child, that with the removal of lung flowers the feelings of unrequited love will be removed too. As will any remaining trace of friendship. So be careful how you give your heart, my dear. You may never know what you could lose.
Review:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Hanahaki Disease AU? Anyone? This one is from my previous blog post. Pure feelings. Loved young loki and young reader.
In Progress or Abandoned Gems
Mea Culpa by OlympianWine
Synopsis:
Six years ago yours and Loki's relationship came to an abrupt and messy end, leaving resentment and hurt in its wake. Now you haven't heard a whisper of him in years, until he turns up at his brother's wedding, seemingly changed for the better, and you're thrust into facing both him and the memories you had buried. But a dangerous figure from Loki's past looms overhead, and Thanos is determined to hunt Loki down and make him pay for betraying him.
Review:
💔💔💔💔💔
I mean based on the synopsis who wouldn’t want to read that? Last update was last year, here’s to hoping it’ll update more or I’m gonna have to kms.
Anagapesis by OlympianWine
Synopsis:
You have a perfect life; a loving husband, a beautiful baby. But when it all comes crashing down, you must put survival ahead of sentiment and turn to a darker prince - your husband's brother. Loki is cruel and cold, and he hates you with a burning passion. Or so you think.
Review:
💔💔💔💔
Just when you think you’re falling, he makes you remember what type of person he is. I feel for Loki, but he’s just cruel man. I wish there was more so I could understand him a bit more.
Seiðmaðr by GoldTrimmedSpectacles
Synopsis:
Amidst the fallen brethren of the Vanaheimr war against Muspelheim, the dark prince of Asgard finds himself lost and riddled with amnesia. His words are barbed, his tongue is gilded and his eyes are sharp. He has no recollection of his name or family, but he soon comes to realise that perhaps it is best for the past to be shadowed by the future, and that life as a beloved commoner is better than life as a miserable prince.
Review:
💔💔💔💔💔
I’m a sucker for fantasy and a well executed world building. I love how I’m instantly transported into the world created by the author and I feel alive inside. I wish there was a way to find out what happens next. I just love this so much I wish there was more.
#loki imagine#loki fic recs#loki is alive#loki#mcu loki#loki fanfic#marvel loki#loki odinson#loki x you#loki x reader#loki laufeyson#loki series#loki friggason#nkx reads#nkx recs#nkx fic recs#nkx loki fic recs#fluff#angst#slow burn#loki x y/n
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UNSCRIPTED — toji fushiguro x female reader [chapter 2/?]
summary: you’re a faceless author of scandalous smut — great at writing steamy scenes but totally clueless about real-life romance (and with no one to match your freak). enter toji fushiguro, a hot stranger you (accidentally) throw up on during a drunken night out. surprise! he’s also the future voice actor for your smutty novel’s main character. can you survive the awkwardness of your disastrous meet-cute while keeping your identity (and dignity) a secret? welcome to the chaos of your own erotic fantasy romcom!
content warning & tags: (erotic) voice artist! toji, (smut) writer! reader, smutty content!! [will be added over the course of the series], sort of workplace romance, secret/anon identity, slight social media au, meet-cute, virgin!reader, single dad dilf! toji, kid! megumi, strangers to lovers (?), she fell first but he fell harder, mentions of other characters (satoru gojo, suguru geto, megumi fushiguro, shoko eiri, brief mentions of ryomen sukuna)
notes: hi friends !! i hope u're liking the series so far <3 seems like persephone! suguru can't catch a break huh D: i wanted to highlight the same scene[s] from suguru's perspective, just to give him a lil depth :") if u want to keep up with the series more quicker, i highly suggest keeping up with the series on ao3 [for quicker updates ^^] thank you to my taglist for their support too :)
read on ao3! ● series masterlist
➤ related au: persephone [business tycoon! sukuna x reader]
the drive to megumi’s school was unusually quiet.
normally, toji would lean into his usual “cool, brooding single dad” act — just enough to avoid attention but keep an edge. but today, he’d done something weirdly out of character: asked you to tag along.
not that he’d admit it was for any other reason than megumi, obviously.
nope. definitely nothing else to it.
just… kinda nice having you along for the ride, right?
the two of you settled into his car, and you couldn’t help but smirk at how the radio was suspiciously off. toji didn’t give any explanation, but you were pretty sure it was a preventative measure to avoid another “iris” moment and the resulting accidental kiss.
which, okay, was kinda cute.
toji tapped his fingers against the wheel, casting the occasional sideways glance at you before finally saying, “so… just curious.” he cleared his throat, like he was trying not to make a big deal out of the question. “what made you, uh… you know, want to write those books?”
you blinked. “oh, my books?”
“yeah, the… passionate ones.” he coughed, looking anywhere but at you. “like, what inspired you to write those… intensely worded stories?”
you laughed, caught off guard. “okay, first of all, ‘intensely worded?’ that’s one way to put it.”
“look, i’m trying to be polite,” he said, giving you a sidelong smirk that made your stomach flip. “but seriously. i mean, it’s a specific line of work. what got you into it?”
you chewed on the inside of your cheek, feeling the familiar blush creeping up.
“uh, well… honestly, i just thought it was something fun to try out. i like romance and, you know… writing what people connect with. people like the, um, more intense stuff, so… figured i’d give it a shot.”
he nodded, taking it all in. “huh. so, all that… stuff you write —” he paused, trying to phrase it carefully. “that’s from experience or…?”
you let out an awkward laugh, your face heating up even more. “not exactly. i… well, i actually haven’t… i mean, i’m still… y’know.”
you cleared your throat. “a virgin.”
toji’s eyes went wide.
“wait, you’re telling me… all that detail, the way you describe things, and you haven’t even…”
“nope.” you shook your head, biting back a smile at his shocked expression. “guess you could say i have a good imagination?”
he let out a low whistle, looking at you with something that was a mix of admiration and… something else you couldn’t quite place. “well, i gotta give you credit. you write it like you’ve, uh, lived it.”
you shrugged, trying to play it cool. “guess it’s all about the research.”
he raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “research, huh? well, you’ve got some serious talent in the ‘research’ department then. i’d hate to see what you’d write if you actually… y’know, had the experience.”
“well, maybe one day i will,” you shot back, feeling a little bolder. “and then my books will be even better.”
he chuckled, leaning back in his seat. “you’re something else.”
for a moment, the two of you just looked at each other, a silent understanding passing between you.
the tension was thick enough to cut, and toji looked like he was about to say something else when megumi’s school finally came into view. he let out a breath, the moment effectively broken as he focused on finding a parking spot.
but as you both waited for megumi to come out, you couldn’t help but wonder what was going through toji’s head… and if he was thinking the same thing you were.
the second megumi spotted you and toji at the school gates, he was off like a shot, running toward you with all the enthusiasm of a kid who’d been waiting all day to see his favorite people. his grin was wide, and his little backpack bounced as he bolted up. and to your surprise (and toji's too), he didn’t go for his dad first — nope, he ran right into your arms like you were his personal safe haven.
“you came!” he squealed, hugging you tightly around the waist as if he hadn't just seen you yesterday. you laughed, hugging him back just as warmly, and you could practically feel the teachers’ eyes drilling holes into your back.
“of course i did,” you said, ruffling his hair. “what, you thought i’d miss out on picking you up?”
“nope!” he said proudly, pulling back and grabbing your hand as if to make sure you wouldn’t vanish.
toji stood off to the side, his hands in his pockets, trying to hide his smirk as he watched the scene unfold. yeah, he wasn’t about to complain about you being here — not at all.
as you all made your way back to the car, you couldn’t help but notice a few teachers and parents exchanging knowing looks, no doubt remembering how toji introduced you as his “colleague” yesterday. they didn’t look too convinced anymore.
inside the car, megumi settled comfortably between the two of you in the backseat, clutching his backpack like he was about to embark on the world’s most exciting road trip.
“sooo!” megumi started, a mischievous look in his eyes. “did you two have fun while i was in school?”
toji let out a tiny cough from the driver’s seat, looking at you in the rearview mirror with a hint of a smirk. “megumi, what exactly do you mean by ‘fun’?”
“i dunno, daddy!” megumi rolled his eyes in that dramatic way only an eight-year-old could pull off. “you were smiling all morning! you never do that!”
you tried to hide a smile yourself, glancing sideways at toji. “he was smiling all morning, huh?”
toji shot you a playful glare before focusing back on the road. “you got somethin’ to say about that?”
“nope, nothing at all,” you replied, suppressing a giggle.
“you’re smiling too!” megumi added, turning his full attention to you with a face that was way too smug for a kid his age. “did you like being with my dad today?”
your eyes widened as you exchanged a quick look with toji. “well, yes, i had a great time working with your dad,” you said carefully, trying to dodge the landmine that megumi had unknowingly set.
“yeah, but did you and daddy, like, do anything else? like on tv?”
toji almost choked, and you couldn’t stop a laugh from slipping out. “megs! we just talked and laughed a bit, nothing like in the movies, promise.”
megumi looked skeptical, folding his arms. “then why are you both acting all funny?”
“what do you mean, ‘funny’?” toji asked, raising an eyebrow in the rearview mirror.
“like… i dunno, all shy and weird,” megumi huffed, his brows furrowing in confusion. “like when the kids at school talk about people who like each other.”
your cheeks were definitely heating up, and you could tell toji was trying not to laugh.
“sometimes people just… act like that when they’re really comfortable,” toji explained, trying to sound nonchalant. “not everything’s like it is on tv.”
“oh,” megumi said, though he didn’t look totally convinced.
“soooo, when are you guys gonna have a playdate without me?”
“what?” you and toji both burst out at the same time, while megumi just grinned, proud of himself for catching you both off guard.
“you two look like you want more playdates,,” he added with a shrug, like he was the expert on the subject.
toji shook his head, laughing under his breath. “how about you let the adults figure that out, hm?”
“fine, fine,” megumi said, obviously pleased with himself. “but i wanna know when you guys have another playdate, ‘kay?”
you patted his shoulder, chuckling. “deal, kiddo. you’ll be the first to know.”
as toji pulled out onto the street, you settled back, sharing an amused look with him in the mirror. and as megumi continued his non-stop chatter about school, dinosaurs, and how he wanted both of you to come to his next soccer game, you felt that fuzzy feeling again — the same one from last night. maybe having these two around wasn’t so bad at all.
toji pulled up to his house, shifting into park before a sudden realization hit him like a freight train — you were still along for the ride. it was supposed to be a quick pickup, maybe a casual goodbye once megumi was dropped off, but here you were, in the passenger seat, smiling as megumi practically buzzed with excitement beside you.
"uh… so… yeah, this is… my place,” he said, scratching the back of his head, feeling uncharacteristically awkward. he wasn’t sure if he should invite you in or just wave goodbye with some half-baked excuse.
but before he could even finish his internal debate, megumi had his own plans.
“that means you can come see my room!” megumi exclaimed, his eyes lighting up as he threw open the door and scrambled out of the car.
“oh, i don’t wanna intrude —” you started, already moving to say goodbye, but megumi was way ahead, bounding up the steps and glancing back with an impatient wave.
“c’mon!” he insisted, practically dancing in place with excitement. “you gotta see my plushies and my legos! oh, and my origami stuff, and —”
toji opened the front door, and as soon as you were inside, megumi was by your side again, tugging at your hand with a grip surprisingly strong for a kid. “you gotta see everything!” he said, eyes gleaming.
“okay, okay!” you laughed, letting him lead the way.
toji watched, a little dumbfounded. he’d seen megumi excited before, sure, but this was a whole new level. “hey, uh, megs, maybe she’s tired. we don’t wanna overwhelm her, y’know?” he said, trying to sound casual and almost hoping you’d back out to save him from his own nerves.
“no way!” megumi protested, his voice emphatic. “she’s gotta see my dinos and my race cars and my drawings too! pleaseeee?”
“don’t worry, i think i can handle it,” you chuckled, shooting toji a reassuring look.
he let out a sigh, feeling a mix of relief and… something else he really didn’t wanna unpack at the moment.
megumi practically dragged you down the hall toward what toji modestly called his “suite,” which was more like a sprawling kid paradise decked out in a swanky setup. it was undeniably luxurious — the kind of suite most people would call their whole apartment — but it was still a kid’s space through and through. plushies lay scattered around in a trail leading to the bedroom, where legos, crayons, toy cars, and origami creations decorated the floor in random bursts of color. every available surface was covered in megumi’s little projects and treasures.
“wow, megumi, you weren’t kidding!” you said, genuinely impressed. you walked over to a group of origami animals on his desk. “did you make all of these?”
“yep!” he puffed up his chest with pride, holding up a particularly crumpled paper crane. “this one’s my favorite. it didn’t come out great, but it’s special ‘cause daddy helped me with it.”
toji felt a funny warmth spread through his chest. he tried to brush it off, but it was hard to ignore seeing the two of you in his home, talking like it was the most normal thing in the world.
“and here’s mr. wiggles!” megumi said, suddenly pulling over a massive, well-loved teddy bear that looked like it’d been through a hundred battles. “daddy got him for me when i was little.”
“mr. wiggles is a great name,” you laughed, crouching down to inspect the bear. “i bet he’s been on a lot of adventures with you.”
“yeah, he’s been to the doctor with me, and the dentist, and he helps me with my homework sometimes,” megumi explained with the seriousness only an eight-year-old could muster.
toji chuckled, folding his arms as he leaned against the doorframe. “he’s a busy bear, huh?”
“super busy,” megumi agreed, pulling you over to his lego city next.
“this is where the ninjas live, and over here’s where the dinosaurs hide.”
“oh, and here i thought ninjas and dinos couldn’t get along,” you teased, glancing over at toji, who was doing a poor job at hiding his amusement. “you must be the peacekeeper, megumi.”
“i am!” he laughed, then suddenly looked up at toji.
“daddy, can she stay for dinner?”
toji’s eyes widened slightly. he hadn’t even considered dinner yet.
but the thought of you here, in his space, a part of his evening routine with megumi… it felt way too good to resist.
“uh, well, if she’s got the time,” he mumbled, scratching his neck and pretending to be cool about it. “you don’t gotta stick around if you got other things.”
“actually, i’d love to stay, if that’s okay?” you said, glancing between them both.
toji tried to act casual, even though his heart was doing a little victory lap. “yeah, sure. why not?”
“yes!” megumi cheered, already running out the door. “i’ll get the table ready!”
“is he… always this excited?” you asked, turning to toji with a chuckle.
“not usually,” toji admitted, scratching the back of his head. “guess you got that effect on him.”
the three of you settled around the table, megumi proudly munching away on his ironman-themed plate, the red and gold colors a little faded from years of use. he shot you a grin, already halfway through explaining ironman’s latest mission to save the world… for the third time.
toji, meanwhile, sat across from you, feeling inexplicably fidgety as he set down the fine china he’d pulled from the back of a cabinet. he'd dusted off every inch of those plates — his mind still spinning with why he even bothered.
he wasn’t usually one for this kind of thing, but when he saw how carefully you ladled the stew into the bowls, he couldn’t help but notice you gave that same care to megumi too, nodding along as he chattered away about his superhero theories.
“you know, daddy never gets the cool plates out for anyone else,” megumi piped up, completely oblivious to the faint flush creeping up his dad’s face.
“oh really?” you chuckled, raising an eyebrow in toji’s direction. “well, i feel honored then. i’ll try not to drop it.”
toji groaned internally, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “kid’s got a big mouth,” he muttered, shooting megumi a faux warning look, though his own ears were burning.
“you’ve got good taste, though,” you teased him lightly, glancing down at the pristine white china with intricate blue patterns.
“yeah, well… s’just plates. they’re old,” toji shrugged, hoping that downplaying it would erase any significance you might read into the whole situation.
“old but pretty,” you said, not looking up as you ladled some stew for megumi, who was eagerly waiting with his bowl stretched out. “here you go, megumi. i made it a little less spicy for you, just like you asked.”
megumi’s eyes sparkled as he accepted the bowl. “thanks! you make the best stew!”
toji watched as you smiled back at megumi, completely absorbed in whatever he was babbling about, offering little “uh-huhs” and “reallys” as he animatedly described his favorite ironman scene. watching you like this, giving his kid your full attention even while busy in the kitchen, felt so… weird.
like something he didn’t realize was missing, but now that it was there, he couldn’t imagine going without it.
“and then ironman totally blasts the villain’s robot suit — kaboom!” megumi finished, flinging his arms wide as if to demonstrate the explosion.
“kaboom, huh?” you laughed, sitting back in your chair, clearly enjoying his enthusiasm. “sounds intense.”
“yeah! ironman doesn’t mess around,” megumi said with a sage nod, as if passing on some universal wisdom. “but he’s gotta protect everyone, even the people who don’t like him.”
“sounds like a pretty cool guy,” you mused, glancing over at toji with a small smile. “maybe you two have something in common.”
“oh, god,” toji groaned, but he couldn’t fight the smirk that tugged at his lips. “don’t give him ideas, he’ll think i’m gonna go fight crime or somethin’.”
“wouldn’t that be so cool?” megumi interjected, eyes sparkling. “you could be like… iron dad!”
toji rolled his eyes, but he caught the look on your face — amused, warm, like you were seeing a side of him that no one else really noticed.
and for some reason, that was way too close to the truth for comfort.
he cleared his throat, glancing down at his stew to avoid meeting your gaze.
“maybe i’ll just stick to keeping this kid in one piece,” toji muttered, but his heart was beating a little faster than usual.
and as megumi kept up his enthusiastic rambling, it all started to feel too cozy, too right. the clinking of plates, the soft warmth in the air, the way you didn’t rush megumi but let him take center stage as he shared his endless thoughts — it all blended together into something that felt like home, even if toji wouldn’t dare say it out loud.
as you reached for another spoonful of stew, listening intently to megumi’s latest story about his lego creations, toji realized that, yeah… this felt pretty damn right.
megumi clutched his book eagerly, eyes shining as he snuggled into bed, clearly over the moon that you’d agreed to stay for his bedtime story. he gave toji a serious look, announcing, “since daddy can’t do girl voices — cuz he’s a voicing actor, but he’s not that good — you gotta help with the girl lines, okay?”
“oh, yeah?” toji shot him a mock glare. “that’s a pretty big request, squirt. you sure i can’t just, y’know, growl like a tiger or something?”
megumi shook his head, adamant. “nope! you’re supposed to be the bear prince, and she’s the bunny princess! and then they meet at the river — just read, daddy.”
toji rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t hide the faint smile as he settled in beside megumi,
taking the book from his son’s hands. “alright, alright, let’s do this right. bunny princess and bear prince — sounds about as weird as it gets, but we’ll make it work.”
with megumi sandwiched between the two of you, you leaned over to see the page.
“the bunny princess hopped through the forest, searching for her friend, the bear prince, who was known for his wisdom and strength,” you read in a soft voice, giving it your best princess tone.
megumi nodded, satisfied. “much better than uncle gojo,” he whispered to you in a conspiratorial tone, “his princess voice is just… weird.”
toji stifled a snicker, picking up the next line.
“the bear prince, with his deep, growly voice, stepped out from behind the tree, saying, ‘i hear you’re lookin’ for a friend. well, look no further.’”
megumi giggled, clutching the blanket as he looked up at toji in admiration. “now that’s a good bear voice, daddy! you don’t gotta growl or nothing.”
you shot toji a playful look. “see? you’re already halfway to voice actor stardom.”
“sure, sure, as long as i don’t have to wear princess crowns, i think i’ll survive,” he smirked, giving the book back to you to read the bunny’s next line.
“‘oh, bear prince, i’m so happy to see you!’ the bunny princess chirped, hopping closer. ‘the forest feels so safe with you here.’”
toji took his turn, grinning.
“‘that’s right, princess. stick close to me, and nothing can harm you — not even that pesky fox from the riverbank.’”
megumi, eyes already starting to droop, nodded in sage approval, mumbling, “bears are super strong…”
as the story unfolded, with each of you taking on your character’s lines, you couldn’t help but notice how megumi’s little body relaxed more and more, eyelids growing heavier as he listened to the tale of the bunny princess and bear prince’s forest adventure.
finally, after you’d read the line where the bunny and bear bid each other goodnight under the stars, you heard megumi’s soft, even breathing.
you and toji shared a glance, both of you lowering your voices.
“looks like our audience conked out before the big finale,” you whispered with a smile, your voice barely above a murmur.
“heh,” toji chuckled, glancing at his son’s sleeping face. “usually he stays up longer, keeps asking for more.” he paused, watching you with a look that seemed to say more than his words. “maybe he’s just got a soft spot for princess voices… or maybe, you know, a good storyteller.”
a soft warmth settled in the quiet room, the gentle rise and fall of megumi’s breathing filling the space as you both stayed still for a moment, neither wanting to break the spell.
you stood up slowly from megumi’s bed, glancing down at the little guy, still out cold, his mouth slightly open as he clutched his iron man plush. the clock on the wall blinked “9:00 pm,” and your stomach sank a little — hadn’t you meant to leave hours ago?
but when you made a quiet move toward the door, toji was right there, leaning in the doorway, hands shoved in his pockets.
“you, uh, really don’t have to rush,” he said, almost nonchalant, though his gaze flicked over to megumi. “i mean, for his sake, y’know. wouldn’t want him freaking out if he wakes up in the middle of the night and you’re gone…”
“oh, of course,” you murmured, feeling a warm, slightly strange fluttering sensation at his words.
“just… so he doesn’t get scared. yeah.”
you glanced down at yourself. god, what were you going to sleep in? your work clothes?
toji seemed to read your mind, though, tilting his head a bit. “i think i got some old clothes you could wear if you want,” he offered, looking you up and down with that calm, appraising look that made you feel like he saw a bit more than he let on. “not the most fashionable, but they’re clean.”
“thanks, that’d be great,” you said, offering a small smile, and you turned to head toward the door to the guest room — then stopped. “wait… i think i left my phone on his nightstand.”
before you could overthink it, you turned back abruptly, intending to slip past toji back into megumi’s room.
but somehow, in the dim lighting, the narrow doorway, the warmth of the moment… your face collided with his chest, and then, your lips met his, soft and sudden and all-consuming.
for a heartbeat, everything else fell away: the gentle ticking of the clock, the faint whirring of the a/c, even the warmth of megumi’s room.
you felt nothing but the weight of toji’s lips against yours, the subtle intake of his breath as he seemed to register just what was happening. there was a moment of hesitation, and then his hand instinctively moved to your waist, pulling you closer with a soft, undeniable insistence.
his voice was a low whisper, barely more than a breath between you. “so… you were just gonna leave without even saying goodbye?”
for a split second, everything froze — the dim hallway, the soft, ambient sounds of the house, the fact that you were standing right outside megumi’s door, where one sleepy sound could catch you both.
but that one breath against toji’s lips, so close, melted everything else away.
he didn’t pull back; if anything, his hold on your waist only tightened, fingers pressing just enough to send a warm ripple up your spine. his eyes met yours, slightly wide, as if he couldn’t quite believe he had you like this, so close. you could almost feel his heartbeat thrumming in sync with your own, and you let out a shaky breath, your lips brushing his again.
“this… is not what i planned when i came over,” you murmured, barely able to get the words out as your forehead touched his. “not — not in front of your kid’s room.”
“mm,” he whispered, gaze dropping to your lips, that barely-there smirk flickering across his face, “it’s a first for me too.” he held your gaze, his expression softening, something almost tender in his eyes as he raised his hand to gently brush a strand of hair from your face.
“but if you wanted to leave… you would’ve pulled away by now.”
you bit your lip at the way his thumb lingered on your cheek, his breath warm against your skin, and before you knew it, your lips found his again. this time, it was slower, unhurried, like you had all the time in the world to feel the way his mouth moved against yours, soft and then a little firmer, as he seemed to lose himself in the moment.
he leaned into you, pressing you just slightly against the wall, his hand sliding from your waist up to the small of your back, drawing you close. the quiet was filled only with the shared breaths between you two, a quiet hum that passed between your lips, as if even the smallest sound might wake megumi just on the other side of the wall.
you found your hand on his chest, fingers curling in his shirt, pulling him a little closer, wanting to deepen the kiss even though every bit of common sense told you to stop. his lips parted, pressing small, lingering kisses along your lower lip, his fingers tracing gentle circles along your back as though he was trying to savor every second. you were barely breathing, lost in the warmth of him, feeling him melt just a little against you.
“god, you’re making it hard to stop,” he murmured against your lips, his voice almost a growl but so quiet it barely even registered.
“i don’t think i want to,” you whispered back, eyes meeting his in the dim light. he held your gaze, his thumb tracing a soft line along your cheek, but he didn’t move away, staying close, his nose brushing yours in a way that was so tender you almost forgot how precarious this was.
you both laughed quietly, the sound soft and low, the kind of laugh that was more of a breath shared between you. toji glanced back at megumi’s door, and for a second, his face softened in a way you rarely saw, as if he couldn’t help but feel this moment was just a little forbidden.
“maybe we should… try this somewhere a little less dangerous,” he muttered, though he didn’t make any move to let go, his gaze flicking back to yours.
“you mean… like a first date or something?” you murmured, lips curling into a soft smile.
“guess i don’t mind a second kiss either,” he replied, brushing his lips against yours one last time before stepping back, the space between you suddenly feeling too cold, too quiet.
as he stepped back, the reality of the hallway — the very literal door to his son’s room right beside you — set in, but the warmth still lingered, and the smile he gave you as he walked you down the hall felt like a promise for something more, something you both couldn’t wait to explore.
the “boys night” at gojo-sonic’s swanky office was nothing short of its usual absurdity, with gojo dubbing it the “greatest tradition ever” as he practically threw around the “finest” sweet alcohol like it was candy.
toji was there, albeit begrudgingly, mostly due to gojo’s persistence (“c’mon, you’re the only one who knows how to enjoy this premium stuff!”), and suguru joined from a dimly-lit zoom window, his face half-smiling, half-tired as he sipped on a glass of his own.
“missing out, suguru,” gojo teased, tilting back his drink. “oh, but thanks for the wine, by the way. nothing says ‘wish i were there’ like sending over a box of booze from you and your business partner.”
“oh, for heaven’s sake,” suguru muttered, though his smirk suggested he didn’t mind. “it was a halloween release. figured it’d keep you all happy and…unbearable.”
toji chuckled, swirling his glass and trying not to roll his eyes as gojo feigned offense.
“unbearable? me?” gojo put a hand over his heart. “if you actually joined us in person, you’d see i’m the highlight of this ‘boys night.’ it’s practically a public service, sugu-boo. oh, and shoutout to persephone for making it possible, of course.”
“yeah, yeah, you’re a real gift to mankind,” suguru replied, his tone deadpan, but his smile lingered as he took a sip.
“so what’re you boys talking about? since i can’t be there to hear it firsthand.”
toji shifted, debating on whether or not he wanted to launch into the mess that had been swirling in his head all week. but with the alcohol settling in and gojo’s usual chatter as encouragement, it was hard to hold back. he sighed, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair, looking anywhere but the screen.
“oh, just, y’know… kid stuff.”
gojo raised a brow. “kid stuff? you mean, how megumi’s practically obsessed with y/n?”
“please,” toji groaned, rubbing his temple. “that kid’s dragging her around like she’s his second parent.”
“sounds like he’s got good taste,” suguru noted with a grin, sipping his wine. “and from what you said last week, he’s already planning on keeping her around for life, huh?”
toji shot him a look through the screen, but he knew they were right. megumi was over the moon whenever you came around, from showing off every little toy he owned to making you part of bedtime stories.
it was adorable, sure, but it made this whole situation way more… intense than he’d signed up for.
“kid talks about her all the time,” toji admitted, swirling his glass again. “like, even his teachers thought she was his mom or something. and she…well, she’s good with him. she’s damn good.” he looked down, a smirk tugging at his lips. “which, believe it or not, i didn’t expect when we first met.”
“ohhh?” gojo leaned in, that smirk of his spreading as he raised a brow. “and you? what did you expect?”
toji glanced away, that hint of a smirk still there, despite himself. “don’t make me say it.”
“oh, we’re making you say it,” gojo teased, sliding another drink his way. “so, you’re saying she’s…wife material?”
suguru nearly choked on his drink, and the way he was watching toji from the screen made it clear he wasn’t missing a second of this.
toji scoffed, taking a gulp to keep from saying anything too embarrassing. “she’s… special. hell, i didn’t plan on getting attached, and yet —” he paused, chuckling almost self-consciously. “i feel like a damn teenager.”
“and here i thought you were the king of nonchalance,” suguru teased, his eyes gleaming with amusement.
“yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” toji muttered, trying to shake it off.
but the truth was, the second he was alone, he found himself thinking about you, about the way megumi’s face lit up when you were around, the way you just… fit into their little world without even trying.
it was surreal.
the damn wine probably didn’t help, either.
gojo slapped him on the back, clearly enjoying this way too much. “well, for what it’s worth,” he said, his voice surprisingly sincere, “megumi deserves someone good. and maybe you do too.”
toji rolled his eyes, but he didn’t bother denying it. if anything, he felt the tiniest glimmer of hope.
that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t screw this one up.
gojo snickered, his smirk all-knowing as he raised his glass. “i’ve got it,” he said with way too much enthusiasm, the kind he only had when he was on the brink of embarrassing the hell out of someone. “toji, you and y/n could do a joint wedding with suguru and his ‘business partner.’ i mean, if suguru grows a spine and confesses, that is.”
on the other end of the zoom call, suguru’s smirk vanished as fast as it appeared, and he looked away, running a hand through his hair. “not happening,” he muttered, all but glaring at the screen. “it’s… complicated.”
gojo pouted, tilting his head in mock sympathy. “oh, come on. ‘complicated’? it’s not that deep. just throw her some wine, flash that tragic backstory, and she’ll be yours in no time.”
“it’s not that simple,” suguru snapped, though his face softened as he leaned back, sighing.
“besides, we’re in… limbo, i guess. we’ve had our confessions, but there’s no label. not yet, anyway.”
“awww,” gojo teased, his voice dripping with feigned sympathy.
“look at us! a bunch of grown men, all hung up on love troubles. what happened to the days when it was just work, money, and some good old-fashioned ego trips?”
“those days are over,” toji grunted, crossing his arms as he glanced at the screen. “but you’d know a thing or two about those ‘ego trips,’ wouldn’t you?”
suguru let out a snort of laughter, finally letting himself relax a little. “and don’t forget ryomen sukuna,” he added, the name alone making everyone groan. “that bastard practically swooped in to turn our business lives upside down and make everything more… interesting. joint venture or not, the guy’s insufferable. he’s like a cat, always hissing and scratching his way to the top.”
gojo laughed, tipping his drink toward the screen. “tell me about it. it’s like everyone has a thorn in their side when it comes to love these days.”
he smirked, nudging toji. “and you, my friend, are no exception. so when’s the confession, huh? are we waiting on some fairytale moment here?”
toji rolled his eyes, swirling the last of his drink. “i’m not confessing to anyone,” he grumbled. “i’ve got megumi to think about.”
“right, right, megumi,” gojo said, drawing out the name with a grin that was anything but innocent. “and here i thought you liked y/n for yourself.”
“and here i thought you’d shut up at some point tonight,” toji shot back, but his lips betrayed him with a faint, reluctant smirk.
suguru leaned forward, his voice softer. “well, at least megumi’s happy with her around, right? maybe… it’s worth taking a chance.”
toji’s smirk faded, his expression thoughtful. “maybe.”
“see?” gojo beamed, practically giddy. “love is in the air, boys. even for the most stubborn among us.”
suguru shook his head, a smile creeping back onto his face. “well, here’s to complicated feelings and maybe, just maybe, getting them right someday.”
they all raised their glasses, clinking to their shared madness in work, love, and everything in between.
you flopped back on your bed, barely able to keep the grin off your face as you hit the facetime button for shoko. she picked up after a few rings, a cigarette lazily dangling from her fingers, eyebrows raised as she took in your expression.
“uh-oh. what’s got you looking like that?” she asked, smirking.
you let out a giddy little laugh, immediately burying your face in your hands. “shoko, i swear i’m losing it. i’m a grown woman, but i feel like a teenager. it’s embarrassing.”
“this better be good,” she drawled, putting the cigarette to her lips and leaning back, looking every bit the part of the unimpressed but totally-invested best friend.
“okay, okay,” you said, voice dropping to a dramatic whisper. “toji kissed me. twice — by accident, both times. twice, shoko!”
she let out a low whistle, blowing out a plume of smoke. “so the ‘brooding single dad’ finally made his move, huh? you know, twice starts to sound less like an accident and more like he’s got a thing for you.”
you laughed, covering your face with your hands. “oh my god, don’t say that! i can’t even handle it. and he’s just… so close all the time. it’s like every time i turn around, he’s there.”
“that sounds terrible,” she said, rolling her eyes in mock sympathy. “a tall, ridiculously hot single dad, right up in your personal space. how are you surviving?”
you groaned, flopping back dramatically. “it’s not just that! i mean, megumi’s there too, and he’s the cutest kid. he loves me, shoko, i’m actually losing my mind. i feel like i’m part of their lives, and it’s… weirdly nice?”
shoko’s smirk softened a little, her gaze warmer. “sounds like you’re finally finding something real,” she murmured, her voice thoughtful. “i mean, not just with toji, but… you know, with people. gojo insisted you needed someone to keep you on track, but honestly, it sounds like you’re just finding your own way.”
“thank you for not thinking i’m insane,” you muttered, grinning at her.
“please, i’ve been waiting for something juicy like this to pop up in your life,” she replied, flicking some ash into an ashtray with a smirk. “so tell me everything — i want the full rundown on these ‘accidental’ kisses.”
you launched into the details, recounting the flustered stammering, the way you could hardly breathe when he got that close, how you felt like you were in some kind of slow-motion rom-com. shoko didn’t bat an eye, laughing in all the right places, raising her eyebrows at the moments you whispered, and shaking her head whenever you sounded downright ridiculous.
“y’know,” she finally said as you caught your breath, “if this is what being your manager is gonna be like, i might just be here for it. international author and all,” she teased, quoting gojo.
“i’m just glad i have someone who gets it,” you admitted, voice softer. “this is all new to me… the book success, this... love life thing.”
she gave you a small, knowing smile. “well, get used to it. sounds like there’s a lot more coming your way.”
the month flew by in a series of stolen moments that made you feel like you were the protagonist in one of your own novels.
and, true to his nature, toji somehow managed to sneak in a kiss (or two, or three, but who's counting?) whenever he found you alone at the studio, away from gojo's incessant commentary, the other voice actors, and the wandering eyes of your new manager, shoko ieiri.
you still couldn’t forget that first almost subtle kiss, right outside the recording booth.
you’d just handed him his revised lines, trying to ignore the way his fingers brushed against yours as he took the pages.
“y’know, you keep handing me all these steamy lines,” he murmured, voice dropping, his mouth way too close to your ear. “someone might think you’re just giving me an excuse.”
“i-it’s for the story,” you stammered, and before you could process it, he leaned down, catching you in a quick, teasing kiss.
“mm. very convincing.” he smirked, straightening just as someone walked by.
“toji!” you hissed, glancing around like a guilty teenager.
“what? i thought it’d help with the performance.” he gave you a half-shrug, that lazy grin of his making your pulse jump. “gotta sell the romance, right?”
then there was the time in the elevator after one of his late recording sessions. you’d been babbling about something mundane, trying to fill the quiet, but he wasn’t paying attention to your words; instead, he just watched your mouth.
before you knew it, the doors slid closed, and he had you pressed against the mirrored wall, his mouth on yours, hands braced on either side of your head.
“you know,” you whispered breathlessly when you finally broke apart, “if shoko sees us, she’s gonna kill me.”
“good thing we’re alone then,” he murmured, not bothering to step back, his eyes dropping to your lips. “wouldn’t want her thinking you’re getting… distracted on the job.”
“me?” you managed, swallowing a laugh. “you’re the one who can’t keep his hands to himself!”
“maybe i’ll try harder,” he whispered, brushing his thumb along your jaw in a way that felt anything but apologetic. “or maybe i won’t.”
of course, he didn’t.
the next week, you’d been huddled over a script in the empty break room, reviewing edits from gojo. you barely heard him come in before he slipped up behind you, one hand casually planted on the table as he leaned over your shoulder.
“need any help with those lines?” he asked, voice low, right against your ear.
you barely suppressed a shiver, trying to focus on the paper in your hands. “i, uh… no. no, i think i’ve got it.”
“you sure?” he murmured, lips grazing your ear this time. “because i think i could add a little… flair.”
you turned, and his face was right there, too close to pretend this was anything but what it was.
before you could tell him off, he closed the gap, kissing you slow and deep, like he had all the time in the world.
“toji,” you finally managed, pulling away, your face burning. “we are at work!”
he shrugged, utterly unbothered. “yeah, but no one’s around, are they?”
you glared, trying to look serious, but he just leaned back, smirking. “besides, i’d say that counts as research.”
“research?”
he grinned, eyes twinkling with a playful light. “gotta stay in character, right?”
every encounter was a tug-of-war between professionalism and… whatever this was. you couldn’t deny you looked forward to the thrill of these secret kisses, even though you spent half your day looking over your shoulder, waiting for shoko to round a corner and catch you in the act.
toji, on the other hand, was infuriatingly nonchalant. like he didn’t care if anyone saw — like he almost wanted to be caught. and he never missed an opportunity to remind you of that.
“so, what’ll it be?” he asked one afternoon as you tried to dodge his latest attempt in the hallway. “you gonna keep hiding from me? or are you finally gonna admit you like it?”
“i’m not hiding,” you replied, trying to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks.
he laughed softly, the sound low and warm. “you’re a terrible liar.”
just then, footsteps echoed from around the corner. you froze, but toji just gave you one last teasing look and walked off, as if nothing had happened.
and maybe that was the worst part — no matter how many times he pulled you in, kissed you breathless, he could just walk away, leaving you wondering if you’d imagined it all.
toji fushiguro, love-struck fool of the century.
and he hated it.
he’d scoffed his way through plenty of rom-coms, rolling his eyes at any lovesick protagonist with that stupid, half-dazed smile, lips still parted like they’d just been kissed breathless.
he never thought he’d be one of them. yet here he was, pacing around his apartment, occasionally touching his lips like some starry-eyed teenager.
“you’re acting like a damn idiot,” he muttered to himself, brushing a hand through his hair, but even that couldn’t erase the lovesick grin creeping onto his face. he barely noticed his phone buzzing with the weekly roster of sugar mamas and daddies, all waiting for their weekly breadcrumb texts from him. hell, he even felt guilty about it now.
because compared to you? they didn’t stand a chance.
case in point: a text popped up from mona, the one who liked to send him extravagant gifts just for existing.
mona [7:40 pm]: missed u this week. dinner on friday, baby?
toji squinted at the message, thumb hovering over the keyboard, debating if he should even respond. yeah, he probably should. he sighed, cracking his knuckles before halfheartedly typing out a response.
you [7:45 pm]: kinda busy friday. rain check?
there. short and sweet.
in a past life, he would’ve at least flirted his way out of it.
but now? he couldn’t muster up anything more.
god, you’ve got it bad, he thought, half-annoyed at himself as he imagined the smirk gojo would throw his way if he ever found out about this pathetic show of loyalty.
and speaking of the devil —
“toooji!” gojo sang as he slid into the studio the next day, obnoxiously loud.
“man, you’ve been… awfully serious lately. not a single call from mona? or was it alicia? both?”
toji barely glanced up, trying to keep his face as neutral as possible. “i’ve been busy. work.”
“work,” gojo echoed, eyes narrowing with a knowing gleam. “right. and what kind of work are we talking about? the kind that comes with a certain… author’s name attached?”
toji’s lip twitched, but he ignored him. he figured the less he reacted, the less ammo gojo would have.
“oh, come on!” gojo crowed, leaning over the soundboard with an irritating grin. “you really think i haven’t noticed? the lingering looks, the way you sneak off for like ten minutes every time she’s around. you’re a mess, toji.”
toji rolled his eyes, folding his arms across his chest. “i’m not a damn kid, satoru.”
“coulda fooled me,” gojo teased. “god, you look like you’re on the verge of a love confession every time i see you two. why not just go full rom-com mode and declare it in the rain or something?”
“shut your damn mouth,” toji muttered, feeling his ears heat.
the idea had crossed his mind. he thought about it every damn time he saw you smile or catch his eye across the studio.
and it was driving him insane.
“speaking of confessions,” gojo continued, not missing a beat, “heard you’ve been turning down… basically everyone these days. sugar mamas, sugar daddies — wow, your self-control’s really kicked in.”
toji groaned, half in frustration, half in something else. it was true. he hadn’t even looked at his inbox in days.
just not interested, he’d told himself, ignoring how pathetic that sounded.
“oh, oh, oh, don’t tell me…” gojo grinned, the realization dawning on his face. “you’ve gone monogamous, haven’t you?” he snorted.
“god, you’re whipped.”
“i’ll let you live if you shut up now.”
gojo snickered, unbothered. “what? i’m just giving you some friendly advice, toji. tell her already. do the whole romantic declaration thing. maybe some roses. oh, or better yet, just kiss her the way you keep fantasizing about.”
toji rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “fantasizing, right.”
“admit it, you’re lovesick,” gojo replied with a smirk. “how’s that feel, big guy?”
just then, his phone buzzed again, and he glanced down to see a new message from larry, one of his sugar daddies.
larry: fancy a weekend trip? all expenses on me, baby ;)
toji groaned and quickly sent back a “no thanks, busy,” before slipping his phone away. he looked up to find gojo staring at him, practically vibrating with amusement.
“see? whipped!” gojo announced, loud enough for half the floor to hear.
“keep it down,” toji growled, but he couldn’t keep the ghost of a smile off his face. he knew gojo was right, even if he hated admitting it. he was done pretending it wasn’t true.
hell, he could barely go an hour without wanting to text you, wanting to see you.
“you don’t get it,” toji said, more to himself than gojo. “she’s… different.”
“oh, i bet she is,” gojo said, nodding like he understood. “now, are you gonna be an idiot and keep pouting like you’ve got something to say? or are you gonna tell her?”
toji didn’t answer, just glared at him before heading for the studio door. but he knew gojo was right.
he’d run out of excuses, out of distractions. maybe it was time he did something about this ridiculous crush.
as he walked out, he could practically hear gojo’s smirk follow him.
great.
toji could barely keep his heart from jumping out of his chest as he slipped the little origami ring into your hand, all smooth-like, muttering, “megumi made it for you.”
but even as he said it, he could feel the heat creeping up his neck, knowing damn well it was mostly his work.
he’d sat down with megumi, who, after a long day of being “helpful,” had finally agreed to show him how to fold paper into something that resembled a ring. and it hadn’t exactly been easy.
“so, kiddo,” toji had started, fidgeting with the corner of a bright blue square of paper. “think you can show me how to, uh… fold this thing into a ring? for… you know… someone.”
megumi squinted up at him, hands on his hips like a pint-sized supervisor. “for her, right?”
toji cleared his throat, looking away. “yeah. something like that.”
megumi snorted, already getting a bit too wise for his age. “you don’t even know how to fold paper, daddy?”
toji groaned. “it’s harder than it looks, alright? just show me how you do it.”
the kid just shook his head, exasperated, but started showing him each fold with careful, precise fingers. they worked through a couple attempts, most of which looked nothing like rings and ended up in the growing pile of crumpled paper on the table.
it was late, and toji couldn’t remember the last time he’d concentrated this hard on something so… simple. why the hell am i doing this? he thought, glancing at the clock.
he had work in a few hours, a whole recording schedule to plan for, and yet here he was, folding paper with his son.
“think she’ll like it?” toji asked, holding up one of the finished attempts.
megumi shrugged, but he looked oddly serious as he studied the makeshift ring. “i think she will. ‘cause it’s from you.”
something in toji’s chest squeezed at that, and he clapped a hand on megumi’s shoulder. “don’t go telling anyone about this, alright? not even your uncle gojo. especially not him.”
“why?” megumi asked, genuinely curious.
“because he’ll never let me hear the end of it,” toji muttered, trying to ignore how ridiculous he sounded even to himself.
yeah, making a paper ring at one in the morning for someone? absolutely insane, but he couldn’t shake the thrill of it, of imagining you smiling when he handed it over.
so, fast-forward to now: the ring was in your hand, your fingers slowly unfolding to reveal it. you glanced up at him, eyes soft with a mix of confusion and surprise, and damn if he didn’t feel his heart do a backflip right then and there.
“he… made this for me?” you asked, voice quiet, almost disbelieving.
“yeah,” toji replied, trying to sound casual but failing spectacularly. “thought you’d like it.”
he rubbed the back of his neck, fighting the urge to look anywhere but at you, but he couldn’t resist sneaking a glance at your reaction.
you turned the ring over in your hand, a small smile tugging at your lips. “you sure it was megumi who made this?”
his throat went dry. “uh… mostly,” he admitted, feeling that warmth creeping up his neck again. “i might’ve… helped a little.”
“a little, huh?” you teased, eyes sparkling as you slipped the ring onto your finger. “so, is this, like… an official thing now? sealing the deal or whatever?”
toji felt his mouth go dry, a mixture of nerves and excitement coursing through him.
he hadn’t planned on this meaning anything official — well, maybe he had, but he hadn’t exactly thought it through.
yet seeing you wearing it, even if it was just a silly piece of folded paper, felt… right.
he shrugged, trying to keep his voice steady. “just thought you deserved somethin’ nice,” he said gruffly. “even if it’s… you know, paper.”
your fingers brushed his, a soft, barely-there touch, and he swore his heart skipped a beat. “i think it’s perfect, toji. no one’s ever… done something like this for me before.”
he felt his chest tighten, the weight of everything he wanted to say pressing against his ribcage.
all those dumb, sappy things he’d been feeling lately, the way he couldn’t stop thinking about you, the way he felt like a lovesick idiot every time you smiled at him. but he couldn’t bring himself to say any of it, not yet.
so instead, he settled for squeezing your hand, his thumb tracing a soft circle over your knuckles.
“good,” he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. “’cause i don’t think i could stand it if you didn’t like it.”
you laughed softly, leaning into him, and he swore he felt the world narrow down to just the two of you, the faint rustle of the paper ring against your finger.
“guess i’ll have to keep it safe then, huh?” you murmured, looking up at him with that smile that made his heart do all kinds of dumb things.
“yeah,” he replied, voice low, unable to stop himself from leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “yeah, you do.”
toji’s eyes nearly pop out of his head when he spots you at the office, that damn paper ring dangling from your phone charm. his paper ring — okay, technically megumi’s paper ring, but still, the one he’d folded with his own hands. he’d thought you might just tuck it away in a drawer or something.
but here you were, letting it swing around proudly like some priceless gem. he’s not gonna lie — his heart just about catapults itself out of his chest.
he’s doing his best to keep his cool, but the urge to grab you right then and there, haul you over to a quiet corner, and ask you out on a real date feels stronger than ever. propose even.
god, if he wasn’t too far gone already.
“what’s that little add-on?” gojo’s smug voice cuts through the air, and you laugh, holding up your phone so the charm dangles freely. gojo squints, pretending he’s inspecting it, but there’s a glint in his eye. “who’s the secret admirer, huh? must be a serious romantic to give you something… hand-crafted.”
you shrug, grinning a little too wide. “oh, just… something someone special made for me.”
toji’s face heats up, and he tries to look busy adjusting his microphone levels.
dammit, did you have to say it like that? he catches gojo’s gaze lingering on him, eyebrows raised.
oh, he’s got an idea all right.
“hm, special someone?” gojo teases, nudging you, then pretending to look around the room as if your admirer might jump out from behind the studio wall. “wonder who that could be, huh?”
you shrug, pretending like it’s nothing, though you shoot a sly glance in toji’s direction. “maybe he’ll make a move someday. he’s pretty bold but… you know, takes his time.”
toji’s pulse hammers away like a damn drumline, and he clears his throat, trying to sound nonchalant. “yeah, maybe he’s just… tryin’ to find the right time or somethin’.”
“aww,” gojo coos, looking between you and toji with a mischievous smile. “poor guy. wonder if he knows he’s got competition. think he can handle it?”
toji rolls his eyes, shooting gojo a glare. “ain’t nobody competin’,” he says, voice low but firm. “whoever this guy is… he’s got it handled.”
you laugh softly, the sound filling the room, and you hold up the charm, letting it dangle right in front of him as if it’s some sort of challenge. “think he’s ready to seal the deal?”
toji’s gaze flickers to the paper ring, then to you, and suddenly he feels this overwhelming urge to just… go for it.
he could give you a real ring, sure, someday maybe, but there’s something about this little thing you’ve turned into a charm that makes it feel so much… bigger.
“actually…” he mutters, feeling heat crawl up his neck. “i was thinkin’… maybe i could take you out this weekend. just us.” he looks at you, eyes intent, and there’s a rare seriousness in his voice. “someplace nice. no studio, no interruptions.”
you blink, clearly a bit surprised, but your smile grows, softer now, almost shy.
“are you asking me out, toji?”
he shrugs, feigning nonchalance but failing miserably. “yeah. maybe… maybe i am.” he reaches out, tugging the charm lightly, letting it dangle between you. “figured it was about time we took this thing seriously.”
gojo bursts into laughter, clapping his hands. “ohhh, i knew it! all this sneaking around, and here you are, finally getting down on one knee — metaphorically, of course.”
you nudge gojo, laughing. “shut it, satoru.”
but toji doesn’t even hear gojo’s teasing anymore. all he sees is you, with that damn paper ring swinging from your phone, smiling at him in a way that makes his chest feel tight.
and suddenly, the idea of getting down on one knee doesn’t seem all that far-fetched after all.
“so… this weekend?” he asks, his voice a little softer now, just for you.
you nod, still beaming. “this weekend,” you confirm.
toji, scrolling through your message with a slight frown, reads your rain check about having to edit your book draft instead of going out this weekend.
he's in the middle of what can only be called a hurricane of preparation — megumi is zipping around the house, declaring he’ll help his dad look “very handsome” for his “playdate with the pretty lady.” in the midst of this, toji can’t even get a word in to explain that, uh, the plans may be changing.
princess [7:08 pm]: hey! i am SO sorry, but i may have to rain check today. i really thought i’d finish up the first draft of the dragon king’s sequel. but i got so behind, and now i have to edit this whole thing </3 you [7:09 pm]: can’t believe my competition is a bunch of words on a page, but…i get it. you [7:09 pm]: any chance you could still use some company for that “editing?”
he’s barely finished typing his message when megumi tugs at his shirt, holding up a navy button-down that practically drags on the floor.
“isn’t this the one she likes, dad? wear this!” he says with a look that might as well be called “fushiguro persuasion.” toji chuckles, ruffling megumi’s hair.
“hey, buddy,” he says, crouching down to megumi’s level. “plans changed a little. she’s gotta work, so i’m going over there instead, alright?”
megumi narrows his eyes in the way only an eight-year-old can. “so... no fancy date?”
“nah, kid,” toji says, trying to sound casual as he rolls up his sleeves. “i’m just gonna keep her company while she works.”
megumi grins, a mischievous glint in his eye. “so like, a home date?” he asks, with all the implications an eight-year-old can muster.
toji chuckles, ruffling his son’s hair. “something like that.” he gives megumi a quick fist bump. “hold down the fort for me, alright? i’ll be back before bedtime.”
and with that, he heads out, his heart pounding just a little too fast for his own liking. he’s ready to face you with a low-key offer: if you’ll allow it, he’ll stay in for a “working date” and keep you company, just the two of you, with no plans other than being there.
toji ^.^ [7:15 pm]: well, what if the mountain comes to you instead of you coming to the mountain? i’ll bring snacks and stay out of your way. i’ll even help you proofread if you need it.
your heart nearly stops when you see toji’s message, and you almost drop your phone… straight into your bowl of instant noodles.
he wants to come over? to your place?
you glance around your apartment, and it’s a scene straight out of a disaster movie.
there’s a pile of bills stacked haphazardly on the coffee table, all of which you’re waiting for shoko to graciously come sort through for you. right next to it is a mountain of pr packages you haven’t had a chance to open — typewriters from some luxury brand, fountain pens with gold-tipped nibs, notebooks wrapped in satin, and… is that your favorite set of lingerie drying on top of the lampshade?
“oh, god.”
you glance at the time and frantically calculate: how long would it take to clear at least half of this mess?
no, scratch that. how long would it take to get yourself presentable? you rush to your room, tossing things left and right in an attempt to find something clean and comfortable, feeling your face heat up just imagining toji seeing your place like this.
you [7:17 pm]: are you sure you wanna come over? i’m warning you. it’s, uh, very lived-in here. toji ^.^ [7:20 pm]: hey, i’m not gonna judge. besides, how bad can it be?
you stare at his reply, chewing on your lip, and quickly text back.
you [7:21 pm]: imagine a tornado hit a bookstore you [7:21 pm]: and a clothing store you [7:21 pm]: and, maybe a warehouse full of typewriters and fountain pens. toji ^.^ [7:23 pm]: you know what? sounds cozy. i’ll bring some snacks and maybe a cleaning crew if necessary 😂
the doorbell rings before you could even realise, and your heart nearly leaps out of your chest.
you’ve got a solid three seconds to take it all in: you’re wearing a three-day-old shirt that, if you recall correctly, was originally your dad’s from the 80s, your hair’s in a bun so messy it might as well be a bird’s nest, and there are bags of trash you’ve hastily crammed into every drawer within reach.
there’s no hiding the pile of unopened pr packages by the couch, though — one of which has a half-torn label boasting a “vintage, limited-edition typewriter experience.” right next to that, there’s a fancy pen set, still in its plastic wrap, resting on top of… is that a stack of half-eaten takeout containers?
oh, god. why couldn’t you have had a warning before he showed up?
you take a shaky breath and yank the door open, plastering a smile on your face as if this is all completely normal.
"hey," toji says, looking you up and down with an easy grin. “lookin’ cozy.”
“uh... thanks?” you blurt out, mentally slapping yourself. cozy was definitely one way to put it.
“come on in. sorry about the… ambiance. i wasn’t really expecting to have a, uh, guest.”
you step back, and he strides in, immediately taking in the organized chaos that is your apartment. his eyes linger on the tower of pr boxes and that unmistakable stack of overdue bills. he whistles low under his breath, clearly trying not to laugh.
"so, this is the writer life, huh?" he asks, picking up a typewriter package with a raised eyebrow. "fancy stuff. do you, uh… actually use any of this?”
“i try,” you mumble, crossing your arms defensively, though you can’t help smiling. “but the whole ‘starving artist’ vibe means these typewriters just end up as very expensive paperweights. which, ironically, i can’t even afford.”
toji laughs, setting the box down before glancing around again. his gaze falls on the lampshade, where your black lace lingerie is very prominently draped. you feel your face go hot as he smirks.
“i like the decor,” he says, nodding toward the lingerie with a wicked grin.
“oh, my god,” you groan, covering your face. “listen, i was not expecting company today, so please, feel free to avert your eyes.”
"nah, i think it's got… character," he teases, leaning in just a little too close. “besides, i don’t mind a little mess.”
"well, great, because this is as real as it gets," you reply, huffing as you try to look anywhere but at him. "you’re in the trenches now, toji.”
he chuckles, moving to pick up a crumpled, half-empty bag of chips from the couch. "hey, trenches i can handle. i’ve got an eight-year-old at home, remember? my place is an organized war zone on a good day."
you snort, still feeling a bit mortified. “and here i was thinking i could at least fake having my life together in front of you.”
“oh, please,” he says, brushing a stray hair from your cheek. “you should’ve seen me back in college. this? this is nothing. plus,” he adds, his voice dropping slightly, “it’s kind of�� cute.”
cute. did he actually just call your disaster zone cute?
before you can respond, he grabs one of the unopened PR boxes and raises an eyebrow. “so, what’s in this one? wanna have an impromptu unboxing?”
“toji, i swear if you open that —”
“c’mon,” he says, grinning as he peels the tape back. “think of it as the highlight of our first ‘official’ homebody date.”
you shake your head, both amused and exasperated, watching him fish out an overly ornate fountain pen, which he holds up like it’s the holy grail.
“look at this thing,” he says, turning it over with a smirk. “you could probably sign million-dollar deals with this alone.”
“or, you know, sign off on all my overdue bills.” you laugh, unable to stay embarrassed. “go on, add it to the pile. it’s practically a landfill at this point.”
he laughs, setting the pen down and stepping closer, his voice low. “listen, i get it. my place might not have bills stacked up, but it’s full of… reminders that i’m a work in progress too.”
you glance up at him, and suddenly, all the embarrassment melts away. you’re in your messy apartment, standing in an ancient t-shirt with this man who’s managed to turn your chaotic night into something unexpectedly comforting.
"thanks for not… judging," you say softly, feeling yourself relax for the first time since he walked in. “i know i’m not exactly put together, but —”
“hey.” he cups your face with a gentle smile. “don’t worry about it. you’re perfect like this. messy, comfy, real.”
before you can stop yourself, you lean in, and he meets you halfway, his lips brushing softly against yours. it’s not hurried, not desperate. just… perfect.
it hits you about a second too late — you’re kissing toji in the middle of your apartment, clutching a bag of trash. oh god, and it reeks of stale mountain dew and monster.
classy.
you pull back with a mortified look, though toji’s face is the exact opposite, his smirk spreading like he’s just unlocked a secret treasure.
“don’t stop now,” he murmurs, glancing down at the offending trash bag in your hand. “but, uh… maybe lose that first?”
“yeah, i think we’re past the first-date mystique at this point,” you mutter, feeling your face heat up as you chuck the bag towards the corner, praying it’s out of sight enough to ignore.
“oh, yeah, you’re really blowing my mind here,” he teases, chuckling as he takes in the apartment around you. “all the caffeine fumes, that questionable takeout smell. smells like home already.”
“oh, shut up,” you laugh, covering your face, because this man is about two seconds from making you combust. “i’m surprised you even wanted to stay for dinner after walking into this disaster.”
“well,” he says, trying and failing to look innocent, “you haven’t seen the other disaster i brought.”
you raise an eyebrow as he gestures to the counter, where multiple takeout bags are somehow all stacked up.
“toji, what is all this?” you blink, shuffling over to the spread.
“look,” he says, scratching the back of his neck. “i couldn’t decide what you’d like, so i just… went with options.”
options is a gross understatement.
there’s a bag from the local thai place with an array of curries and pad see ew, another filled with boxes of sushi, and an entire tray of tacos, complete with mini bottles of hot sauce. you spot a large pizza box (of course), and is that… baklava?
“uh, toji? are we feeding a small country tonight?” you laugh, bewildered. “what were you thinking?”
“honestly? wasn’t thinking. just grabbed whatever looked good,” he says, giving you a sheepish grin. “but c’mon, if you don’t like one thing, there’s a million others.”
you give him a look, half-amused, half-exasperated, but it’s endearing in a way only toji could pull off. who even does this?
“i mean, don’t get me wrong,” you say, nudging a pizza box to make space for the taco tray, “i’m glad you thought of all the options, but… what exactly were you planning for us to do with all this?”
he shrugs, coming up beside you to open one of the sushi boxes. “eat as much as we want, throw the rest in the fridge. ‘course, that’s only if you’re not gonna make me eat it all myself.”
you snort, imagining him single-handedly tackling all of it. “if you can handle it, be my guest.”
he leans in close, voice dropping to a rough whisper. “oh, i can handle it.”
you roll your eyes, but you’re grinning like an idiot. “god, you’re impossible.”
“hey, you invited me over,” he says, opening a little container of wasabi and gesturing for you to try a piece of sushi.
“besides, i figured it’s a good way to cover all bases. what if you didn’t like tacos? or pizza? or… god forbid, baklava?”
you can’t help laughing as you pop the sushi in your mouth, appreciating the deliciously over-the-top effort he put into this. “for the record, i love all of it. but you, on the other hand, have a questionable appetite if you thought this much food for two people was necessary.”
“trust me, if this is what it takes to keep you happy, i’ll bring twice as much next time,” he says, dead serious.
“oh no, please, i don’t think i can handle that.” you give him a look, incredulous. “i’ll end up eating myself into a food coma, and then what? you gonna carry me to bed?”
“well,” he says, leaning in again with a devilish grin, “i wouldn’t mind. but i was thinkin’ more along the lines of a movie marathon to work off the calories.”
“movie marathon and food coma?” you raise an eyebrow. “toji, you’re dangerously close to making this a slumber party.”
he shrugs, his face playful but there’s something softer in his eyes. “would that be the worst thing?”
you feel a flutter in your chest, something that almost surprises you with how much it settles you. here he is, surrounded by mountains of takeout and your chaotic apartment mess, looking like this is exactly where he wants to be.
it’s… kinda nice.
“alright,” you say, nudging him with your elbow. “you win. let’s have the weirdest, most food-filled homebody date ever. just, uh, ignore the mess. and don’t laugh at me if i pass out halfway through a movie.”
“promise.” he raises a hand, eyes glinting with humor. “cross my heart.”
the two of you start to dig in, laughing as you make jokes about how this is probably the strangest spread of food you’ve ever seen. every now and then, he’ll steal a quick kiss when he thinks he can get away with it, and you’re reminded just how much this man has wormed his way under your skin.
you’ve got no idea where this is going, but, staring at his smirk as he attempts to down an entire taco in one bite, you kinda hope it’s somewhere good.
the two of you stand side by side at the sink, the remnants of your feast sprawled across the counter. you’re scrubbing a particularly stubborn pan when you decide it’s the perfect time to hand toji the aux.
“alright, mister fancy chef,” you say, smirking as you pass him your phone. “you get to choose the soundtrack for our post-dinner clean-up. no pressure.”
“oh, no pressure at all,” he deadpans, scrolling through your playlist. you catch a glimpse of the mischievous grin creeping onto his face as he lands on an old favorite.
the unmistakable intro of dancing queen by abba fills the kitchen, and your mouth drops open in disbelief.
“seriously? this? right now?” you laugh, a mix of amusement and embarrassment bubbling inside you.
“hey, don’t knock it till you try it!” he shoots back, raising his hands as if to defend his choice. “it’s a classic. plus, it takes me back to that night at the bar when you were all... well, you.”
you roll your eyes, but you can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face. “i was a mess.”
“yeah, but you were a cute mess.” he chuckles, and you feel the heat rise in your cheeks at the compliment.
as the upbeat tune plays on, you both start washing the dishes, swaying your hips to the rhythm.
“you can dance, you can jive…” the lyrics echo through the air, and toji’s energy pulls you in.
you catch him glancing at you with that smirk again, and the way his eyes light up makes your stomach flutter.
“just imagine,” he says, a teasing glint in his eye, “the two of us back at that bar. you, all over the place, and me just trying to figure out how to survive the night.”
you laugh, feeling nostalgic. “yeah, and then i somehow managed to puke all over your shoes.”
“my favorite shoes,” he says dramatically, rolling his eyes, but there’s a playful warmth in his tone. “but, honestly? worth it.”
the song builds, and you’re both lost in the moment, laughter and soap suds flying everywhere.
“see that girl, watch that scene…”
“how did we go from that night to this?” you ponder aloud, glancing at him. “i mean, here we are, washing dishes and dancing to abba.”
“it’s an upgrade he says, giving you a lopsided grin. “you know, from drunken disasters to… kitchen romance.”
“romance?” you raise an eyebrow, challenging him.
“oh, come on,” he says, stepping closer, the teasing slipping away from his tone. “there’s definitely something romantic about this. a pair of idiots like us, sharing this weird, beautiful mess.”
you can’t help but blush, your heart racing as you take in the way his gaze lingers on your lips. “digging the dancing queen…”
“you know, if this song gets stuck in my head, i’m blaming you,” you quip, trying to deflect the intensity of the moment.
“good luck with that,” he chuckles, moving even closer, the space between you almost nonexistent now.
“night is young and the music’s high…”
his fingers brush against yours, the innocent touch sending sparks up your arm. the beat continues, your breaths getting heavier as the song builds up to the chorus.
“dancing queen, feel the beat of the tambourine…”
you’re both staring at each other, and suddenly, the kitchen feels too small, too charged with the electricity of the moment.
“toji…” you start, but the words die on your lips as he leans in, his intent clear.
“just one kiss,” he murmurs, the corner of his mouth lifting in a seductive smile. “for old time’s sake.”
before you can reply, he closes the gap, his lips capturing yours with a gentle yet insistent pressure.
it’s like a scene from a movie — the soft warmth of his mouth against yours, the playful scent of the takeout wafting around you, the soft glow of the kitchen light illuminating his features.
you melt into him, heart racing as you kiss him back, losing yourself in the moment. the lyrics of the song seem to fade into the background, leaving just the two of you — the world outside disappearing entirely.
when you finally pull away, both of you breathless, there’s a glint of something deeper in his eyes.
“wow,” he breathes, still holding your gaze. “i think i like this new tradition.”
you chuckle, still buzzing from the kiss. “yeah, who knew washing dishes could be so… eventful?”
“well,” he says, leaning in closer again, voice low and teasing, “we haven’t even finished the song yet. you ready for round two?”
you’re half-dazed, your heart racing as you sit on the kitchen counter, toji’s arms caging you in, keeping you close. dancing queen continues to play in the background, but all you can focus on is the warmth radiating from him and the way his breath mingles with yours.
“you have got to stop making these kisses a regular thing,” you tease, half-heartedly trying to sound serious, but the playful glint in your eyes gives you away.
“especially when i’m propped up on my kitchen counter like this,” you add, trying to maintain some semblance of decorum, but you can’t help but smile as you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in closer.
“liar,” he laughs, a low rumble that sends a thrill through you. “if you didn’t like it, you would have pushed me away, not this.” he gestures to your legs around him, grinning like the cat that got the cream.
you roll your eyes, but you can’t hide the warmth spreading through your cheeks. “okay, fine. maybe i’m a little into it,” you admit, and his grin widens, satisfaction dancing in his eyes.
“a little?” he echoes, raising an eyebrow, his hands tightening around your waist. “you’re a whole lot more than a little, and you know it.”
the cheeky banter flows easily between you, and as you gaze into his eyes, you realize just how much you’ve come to enjoy this — the closeness, the warmth, the undeniable chemistry crackling in the air.
“you know, it’s a bit unfair,” you say, tilting your head back slightly to meet his gaze. “here i’m trying to be responsible and not let you distract me, and yet…” you trail off, your fingers playing with the collar of his shirt.
“and yet,” he finishes, leaning in slightly, his breath warm against your skin. “here i am, being irresistible.”
“definitely not irresistible,” you say, feigning indignation. but the way your heart races gives you away again.
“oh, come on,” he smirks, tilting his head slightly. “who else do you know can kiss you while washing dishes?”
you laugh, shaking your head, and the movement sends a wave of giddiness through both of you. “you might be right about that one,” you concede, biting your lip.
the song transitions into another upbeat section, and toji shifts his weight slightly, nudging your legs apart just enough to step closer, creating a tighter cocoon of warmth between you.
“so, what now?” he asks, his voice dropping an octave, the playful tone replaced with something more serious, more intimate.
“what now?” you echo, feeling the tension shift slightly, the air thick with possibilities. “we could, um… finish washing dishes?”
“how boring,” he murmurs, and before you can say anything else, he dips his head down, capturing your lips again in a slow, lingering kiss that makes your head spin.
this kiss is different — softer, more explorative, as if he’s savoring the moment, the taste of you lingering on his lips. you respond eagerly, forgetting all about the dishes, the mess, everything else fading away until it’s just the two of you.
when you finally break apart, breathless, he grins down at you, that charming smirk making your heart flutter. “that’s what i’m talking about,” he says, a satisfied gleam in his eyes.
“toji, we really should —”
“don’t say it,” he interrupts, shaking his head with an exaggerated look of horror.
“don’t ruin the moment with responsibility. just… let’s enjoy this.”
you can’t help but laugh again, the tension between you easing as you lean back against the countertop, your heart racing in a way that feels undeniably good.
“enjoying this, huh?” you murmur, running your fingers through your hair, still feeling the heat of his body against yours.
“yeah,” he replies, that charming smile still plastered on his face. “just two people enjoying a perfectly normal evening — you know, singing abba, eating takeout, and making out in your messy kitchen.”
“the most normal thing ever,” you agree, rolling your eyes, but you can’t suppress the smile that breaks across your face.
“so,” he says, tilting his head, his expression turning slightly more serious. “how about we make this a regular thing? you know, minus the messy kitchen. maybe my place next time?”
your heart skips a beat at the suggestion, and you find yourself nodding before you can think twice. “yeah, i’d like that.”
“great,” he says, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “but for now, let’s get back to the dishes, dancing queen.”
“fine, but only if you promise to keep playing abba,” you reply, giving him a mock-serious look.
“deal,” he chuckles, and as you both start scrubbing the remaining dishes, the music playing softly in the background, you realize you wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.
toji walks into his house, the dopey grin plastered across his face like he just won the lottery.
his heart feels light, still buzzing from the night with you, and he’s practically floating as he kicks off his shoes and heads to the living room.
he stops dead in his tracks when he sees gojo sprawled on the couch, a half-empty bottle of whiskey in one hand and a look of sheer mischief on his face.
“what the hell are you doing here?” toji asks, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably as he can’t help but grin back.
gojo lifts the bottle in a mock toast. “just your friendly neighborhood babysitter, here to keep an eye on megumi,” he says, glancing over to where megumi is sound asleep, sprawled on the floor with a gaming console still clutched in his tiny hands. “figured i’d check out your bar situation while i was at it.” he gestures to the empty bottles lined up on the table. “you know, for quality control.”
toji rolls his eyes but can’t suppress the chuckle escaping his lips. “you’re a real piece of work, you know that?” he says, moving closer.
gojo leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, a grin spreading across his face as he studies toji’s expression. “but seriously, you look like you just got off cloud nine. spill. what happened?”
toji’s grin widens even more, and he can’t help but let out a little giggle, feeling giddy. “you’re not gonna believe this,” he starts, plopping down on the couch next to gojo, who leans in closer, eager for the details.
“it was… well, it was amazing.”
“amazing? now you’re really making me curious!” gojo presses, his eyes sparkling with interest. “tell me everything! every little detail!”
toji glances back towards the sleeping megumi, suddenly feeling a bit shy about sharing all the intimate details. “okay, okay. so, we were just supposed to have dinner, but it turned into this whole thing.”
“dinner? boooring. give me the juicy stuff!” gojo teases, waving his hand dramatically. “i want the scandalous details! were there kisses involved?”
toji feels his cheeks flush, and he can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous this all feels. “yeah, there were some kisses… and then we ended up washing dishes together, and somehow —”
“washing dishes? how romantic!” gojo interrupts, dramatically placing a hand on his chest as if he’s been mortally wounded. “you’re a true romantic, toji.”
“shut up!” toji retorts, laughing harder now. “but it was nice, okay? we were just… comfortable with each other, you know? and then we ended up kissing while the song was playing.”
“which song? was it a love song? was it dancing queen?” gojo leans in closer, eyes wide with excitement. “tell me you two were blasting abba and getting all lovey-dovey!”
“yeah, actually!” toji can’t help but laugh again, the memory flooding back. “we were. it was so ridiculous, but it felt so right at that moment.”
“ridiculous how?” gojo presses, leaning back with a smirk. “were you two dancing around the kitchen like a couple of high-schoolers?”
“pretty much,” toji admits, a sheepish grin crossing his face. “i mean, it just happened, and i couldn’t help myself. i’ve never felt like this before.”
gojo raises an eyebrow, leaning back with a knowing smirk. “so, what you’re saying is that you’re head over heels for y/n? you’ve gone soft on us, toji.”
“yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” toji says, trying to sound annoyed but failing as he can’t help but feel giddy about it all. “but i think this is different. she makes me feel… i don’t know, like i’m actually living instead of just existing?”
gojo’s expression softens slightly, nodding in understanding. “that’s deep, man. i’m genuinely happy for you. but seriously, how did you go from makeouts to dinner to feelings so fast?”
“honestly? i have no idea,” toji shrugs, still riding that high. “but it just felt natural. like we were meant to do this.”
gojo is quiet for a moment, taking a swig from the bottle.
“damn, it sounds like you really like her.”
“like? it’s more than that, i think,” toji admits, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “i’ve never let myself feel this way about anyone, and now i can’t stop smiling like an idiot.”
“good. you should let yourself feel,” gojo says, his tone lightening again.
“just don’t forget you’re still my bro and not some mushy romantic lead in a romcom.”
toji snorts. “right, because i’m so good at playing it cool.”
“exactly,” gojo grins. “now, what’s the next step in this romance novel? are you going to take her out on an official date, or are you just going to keep sneaking kisses in her kitchen?”
toji thinks for a moment, that dopey grin returning.
“i want to take her out. something special. not just a random dinner but a real date.”
“awww, look at you being all suave!” gojo teases, clapping him on the shoulder. “i’m actually proud of you, man. just don’t screw it up.”
“thanks for the vote of confidence,” toji rolls his eyes but can’t help but feel encouraged.
“now, let’s celebrate your new relationship status! i say we finish off the rest of these bottles and toast to your love life!” gojo suggests, already grabbing for another bottle.
toji chuckles, shaking his head. “you’re going to end up getting us both in trouble, you know that?”
“who cares? tonight’s all about you, my guy! let’s make some bad decisions!” gojo grins, and as toji laughs, the two of them settle in for a night of ridiculous stories and plans for the future — the dopey grin still plastered on toji’s face.
the day of the audiobook launch dawned bright and buzzing with excitement at gojo-sonic, and the atmosphere was electric. employees and investors milled about the sleek, modern venue, the air filled with chatter and the faint sound of clinking glasses.
it was a low-key affair, but the anticipation crackled like static electricity in the air. you were among the few chosen to celebrate this moment, standing on the cusp of something big.
you had spent hours getting ready, and with shoko’s help, you looked stunning in your gown. it was a flowing number that hugged your curves just right, accentuating your figure while allowing you to move with grace. your hair was styled in soft waves, framing your face perfectly, and your makeup enhanced your features without overshadowing them. you caught glimpses of yourself in the reflective surfaces, a wave of pride swelling in your chest as you realized just how much effort went into this moment.
toji, on the other hand, was a mix of nervous energy and utter admiration. dressed sharply in a tailored suit, he felt a blend of pride and anxiety as he watched you mingle with the guests. but the moment his eyes landed on you in that gown, his body betrayed him.
a rush of heat shot through him, and before he could even think, there it was — a very real, very embarrassing hard-on that he scrambled to cover up.
“shit, not now,” he muttered under his breath, cursing himself for being such a damn cliché. he quickly shifted his stance, pretending to adjust his tie as he tried to focus on anything other than the vision of you in front of him.
like a decent man should, right?
“toji! you okay?” gojo’s voice cut through his thoughts, a smirk creeping across his face. he was leaning against the bar, a glass of something strong in hand, eyeing toji with amusement. “you look like you just saw a ghost.”
“i’m fine,” toji snapped a little too quickly, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. “just… adjusting my suit.” he gestured wildly, trying to deflect the attention away from his embarrassment.
“uh-huh. sure,” gojo replied, barely hiding his laughter. “just keep it together. we wouldn’t want you to embarrass yourself in front of everyone, especially her.” he nodded subtly towards you, who were now laughing with suguru, your charm radiating like a warm glow.
toji shot him a glare, a mix of irritation and amusement battling for dominance on his face. “thanks for the reminder, genius.”
the event continued, and you were seamlessly blending into the crowd, engaging in conversations with stakeholders and employees, your confidence shining through.
when you shared a laugh with suguru, toji couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at how effortlessly charming you were. why the hell can’t i just say something nice instead of standing here like an idiot?
“there she is,” toji mumbled to himself, catching a glimpse of you as you made your way to the makeshift stage for the speeches. he admired how you carried yourself with such poise, the way your eyes sparkled with excitement. and in that moment, he was utterly captivated.
as you stepped up to the microphone, a hush fell over the crowd.
“thank you all for being here today,” you began, your voice steady and clear, filled with warmth. “this launch means so much to me, and i couldn’t have done it without all the support from my friends and family. especially from those at gojo-sonic, who believed in this project.”
toji watched you intently, his heart swelling with pride. this was your moment, and you were absolutely shining.
but as you spoke, he felt that familiar urge to approach you, to wrap his arms around you and tell you just how incredible you looked.
but no, he stood rooted to the spot, reminding himself of the conversation they had before about maintaining a professional facade.
“and of course, a huge thank you to my amazing voice actor, toji fushiguro,” you continued, and the crowd erupted into applause, pulling him back into reality. the sound sent another rush of heat through him, and he felt like he was about to explode — both from embarrassment and pride.
“that’s me,” toji muttered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. gojo was right beside him, clapping exaggeratedly with a teasing grin. “you’re gonna have to give her a proper compliment after this, you know?”
“yeah, yeah,” toji grumbled, still flustered as he tried to focus on your words instead of his growing embarrassment.
when you finished your speech, the crowd cheered, and you stepped down, a satisfied smile on your face.
you caught toji’s eye, and for a moment, the world faded away. he could see the joy radiating from you, and all his earlier doubts slipped away.
“toji!” you called out, your eyes sparkling. “what did you think?”
“you were amazing,” he said, finally finding the courage to step forward. “really. you owned that stage.”
“thank you,” you replied, your cheeks slightly flushed. “i was nervous, but it felt good to share this moment with everyone.”
as you spoke, toji’s heart raced. he leaned in closer, his voice lowering as he added, “and you looked absolutely stunning, too.”
“oh? just stunning?” you teased, a playful smile dancing on your lips.
“okay, maybe breathtaking,” he admitted, a genuine smile creeping onto his face.
“and just so you know, i had a minor… situation back there, thanks to how beautiful you looked. so, you know, just keep that in mind.”
your laughter rang out, the sound warm and inviting, making toji forget all about the earlier embarrassment. he realized that whatever the two of you had going on was something he wanted to cherish, something worth pursuing.
and as the night continued, surrounded by the buzz of celebration, toji felt a sense of hope blooming in his chest — this was just the beginning.
as the excitement of the launch continued to swirl around you, suguru approached, a wide smile lighting up his face.
“there you are! i was beginning to think i’d have to drag you out from behind that mic,” he teased, wrapping you in a warm hug.
“suguru! thanks for coming!” you beamed, feeling the familiar comfort of his presence. “it means a lot to me.”
“wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he said, stepping back to take a look at you. “and wow, you look incredible. seriously, how do you pull off that look?”
gojo chimed in, practically bouncing on his heels. “it’s like she stepped out of a freaking fairytale, right? she’s basically a model now. i’m just a guy over here trying not to ruin the vibe.”
shoko smiled, her eyes soft as she observed the camaraderie. “you all did great tonight. it really was a wonderful launch.”
toji stood slightly apart from the group, hands shoved into his pockets, watching the dynamic unfold. he was proud of you and knew you deserved this moment, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of being on the outside. seeing you laugh and joke with suguru and gojo tugged at something deep inside him, a mix of admiration and protectiveness that made him feel a little more possessive than he expected.
“so, what’s next for you?” suguru asked, leaning in closer, his tone genuine. “another book, or are you taking a break?”
“a bit of both, actually,” you replied, glancing at toji. “i want to explore some new ideas, maybe branch out a little.”
just then, a lecherous-looking man stepped into the conversation, an air of arrogance radiating off him.
“well, if it isn’t the famed author herself,” he sneered, a condescending smirk plastered on his face. “i have to say, it’s impressive how you’ve managed to carve out such a niche for yourself.” “free-use woman, is that what they call it? quite the career choice, huh?”
the moment the words left his mouth, the atmosphere shifted. toji's heart raced, a cold wave of irritation washing over him. he could feel his jaw clenching as he shifted his weight, bracing himself for whatever would come next.
the man had no idea what he was stepping into.
gojo’s expression darkened, his casual demeanor evaporating. “who the hell do you think you are, talking to her like that?” he snapped, stepping in front of you protectively. “you’re clearly out of your depth.”
shoko frowned, her eyes narrowing at the man. “that’s incredibly disrespectful. you should apologize right now.”
suguru, leaning closer to you, was already assessing the situation, his gaze piercing. “it’s brave of you to come here and talk to her, but if you think you can just waltz in and make those kinds of comments, you’re sorely mistaken.”
toji felt a surge of possessiveness overtake him, and he stepped forward, arms crossed tightly over his chest. “listen, buddy, you don’t get to come here and treat her like she’s some sort of object. she’s worked hard for everything she has, and you’re just jealous that you’ll never get anywhere close to her level.”
the man scoffed, clearly unfazed, but the looks on the faces of gojo, shoko, and suguru sent a wave of intimidation over him. “oh, what? you’re one of her little fanboys now?” he mocked, trying to play off the tension.
“she’s not just some girl for your amusement,” toji replied, his voice low but full of intensity. “if you can’t see that, then you don’t deserve to be in the same room as her.”
you were taken aback, a mix of shock and warmth flooding your chest at toji’s fierce defense. it was a side of him you hadn’t seen in this context, and it made your heart race. you quickly interjected, trying to defuse the situation.
“it’s okay, really. i don’t mind —”
“no,” suguru cut you off gently but firmly, glancing back at you with concern. “you shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of trash talk. you’re better than that, and we’re here for you.”
“yeah,” gojo added, his expression serious. “this guy doesn’t know who he’s messing with. just because you think you can get away with it doesn’t mean you should.” he turned to the man, a fire burning in his blue eyes.
“i’d suggest you leave before things get ugly.”
the man’s bravado faltered, and he hesitated, clearly weighing his options.
“whatever, man,” he spat, finally backing away, a look of disdain on his face. “i didn’t want to talk to you losers anyway.”
as he walked off, toji felt a wave of relief wash over him, but it was mingled with something else — something like pride for you and his friends, who had stood up for what was right.
he turned to you, catching your eye. “you alright?”
you nodded, still processing what just happened. “yeah, thanks. i didn’t think he’d go that far.”
“he’s a fucking idiot,” toji replied, shaking his head. “you deserve better than that.”
“you all really stood up for me,” you said softly, feeling gratitude swell in your chest.
“of course we did,” shoko replied, her expression warm. “we’re your friends, and we’ll always have your back.”
toji stepped a bit closer, and for a moment, the noise of the event faded into the background. “just remember that,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “you’re not alone in this.”
and as the night continued, surrounded by friends who cared deeply for you, toji felt a sense of belonging that he hadn’t anticipated, realizing just how much he wanted to protect that warmth — protect you.
the event wrapped up smoothly, but leave it to gojo to suggest a “girls day out” to celebrate – the “girls” in question, of course, were all of you.
“come on!” gojo insisted, practically bouncing as you all filed out of the venue. “a little lunch at this fancy new place! i already reserved us a table. trust me, you’ll love it.” he flashed that signature grin, one that sparkled with both charm and mischief.
“i thought you called this a girl’s day out?” toji raised an eyebrow, looking mildly exasperated. “you’re delusional if you think i’m your girl, gojo.”
gojo only smirked, looping his arm through toji’s despite his attempts to shake him off.
“toji, honey, everyone’s my girl,” he teased. “besides, i knew you’d say yes deep down.”
“keep telling yourself that,” toji muttered, though a small smirk betrayed his amusement.
suguru shook his head, amused, as he watched their dynamic. “sometimes i think we enable him too much.”
“you definitely do,” shoko chimed in, already lighting a cigarette as you walked along. “but at least lunch on gojo’s tab makes it worth it.”
soon enough, the five of you strolled into the swanky restaurant, where the hostess greeted gojo with a wide smile. “right this way, mr. gojo,” she said, leading you all to a secluded table with an impressive view.
gojo waited until you all took your seats before he threw himself down, stretching out like he owned the place. “order whatever you want, my treat!” he announced, flashing a grin at the menu. “the foie gras here is to die for.”
“you’re ordering foie gras?” you raised an eyebrow, half-amused and half-horrified.
gojo shrugged, feigning innocence. “what? it’s delicious.” he turned to toji. “you’re in, right?”
toji gave him a dry look. “i don’t even know what that is, gojo.”
suguru snorted into his drink. “you’re so cultured, toji.”
toji rolled his eyes, shoving a breadstick into his mouth with exaggerated indifference. “as long as it’s not something gojo personally cooked, i’ll eat it.”
gojo gasped dramatically, clutching his heart. “you wound me! i make a mean ramen!”
shoko raised an eyebrow at him. “instant ramen doesn’t count, gojo.”
as you skimmed the menu, suguru leaned over to point out some of the more “normal” dishes.
“i’d stick to these if i were you,” he chuckled. “unless you’re ready for gojo’s idea of exotic.”
“good call,” you replied, grinning. “i’m not trying to eat anything that still has a face.”
just then, gojo noticed a seafood platter being served at a nearby table, and his eyes lit up. “oh, look at that! who’s in for oysters? fresh from the coast, or so they say.”
toji grimaced, pushing the menu away. “you’re kidding, right? i don’t eat anything slimy.”
gojo wagged his finger at him, smirking. “toji, you’ll never know the finer things in life with an attitude like that.”
“if the finer things in life involve slimy food, count me out,” toji retorted, crossing his arms.
you couldn’t help but laugh, catching suguru’s eye. he shook his head, a faint smile on his lips.
“some things never change, huh?”
“yeah, especially gojo’s tastes,” shoko muttered, taking a sip of her drink.
as the food finally arrived, the table was soon filled with laughter and stories, everyone swapping tales about work, life, and everything in between. gojo, unsurprisingly, dominated the conversation, though he was more than happy to playfully drag each of you into his stories.
“and then, get this,” gojo laughed, his shoulders shaking. “i convinced the poor guy i was a psychic! he walked around with a ‘cursed’ amulet for a week before he realized i was just messing with him.”
“i don’t understand how anyone falls for your crap,” toji said, shaking his head, though even he was hiding a smile.
“it’s a gift,” gojo replied smugly, before winking at you. “isn’t that right?”
“oh, definitely,” you replied dryly. “a gift and a curse.”
“mostly a curse,” shoko agreed, patting gojo’s shoulder.
after a few rounds of drinks, everyone had relaxed into the easy camaraderie, passing dishes and laughing as gojo continued his dramatic retellings, complete with hand gestures and questionable impressions.
“so, toji,” gojo leaned over with a sly grin, “how’s… life?”
toji eyed him, wary. “life’s fine, gojo. what are you getting at?”
“nothing!” gojo held up his hands innocently. “just curious about your… extracurriculars.”
toji rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath as shoko smirked, clearly entertained by toji’s suffering.
suguru leaned in, murmuring to you, “you think he’ll make it through the whole lunch without snapping?”
you laughed softly. “he’s holding up pretty well, all things considered.”
as dessert rolled around, gojo ordered a massive platter of sweets “for the table,” though everyone knew he’d end up eating half of it himself.
“i swear, if you finish all those eclairs before i even get one…” toji warned, eyeing gojo.
gojo winked, already reaching for a plate. “too slow, toji! if you want something, you’ve got to seize it.”
“yeah? you wanna see me seize it?” toji reached over, snatching an éclair from gojo’s hand in one swift move.
the entire table burst out laughing, gojo’s indignant look only adding to the humor. it was one of those rare moments where everything felt right, like you were all in sync, just enjoying each other’s company.
as you leaned back in your chair, watching everyone banter, you felt a warmth settle in your chest. these were the kinds of moments you’d remember – the laughter, the shared jokes, the way each person’s personality filled the room in a way only they could.
it was a good day.
and somehow, you had gojo’s “girls day out” to thank for it.
“suguru! where are you going?” gojo called, laughing.
suguru gave a halfhearted smile. “just… need to take this.”
you watched him go, a flicker of concern starting to build when minutes passed with no sign of his return. eventually, you excused yourself, hoping everything was alright.
turning the corner, you found him leaning against the wall, head down, shoulders tense and shaking slightly. the quiet sound of his breath catching, his barely-contained sobs – it was like a punch to the chest.
suguru geto never cried.
“suguru?” you whispered, not wanting to startle him.
he looked up, his face streaked with tears, a raw, vulnerable expression you’d never seen. he quickly tried to brush it off, rubbing his eyes. “you shouldn’t… see me like this,” he muttered.
your heart clenched as you stepped closer. “hey, i’m your friend. you don’t have to hide from me.”
he looked away, swallowing hard, his voice strained. “it’s… her. she made her choice.” he took a ragged breath. “she doesn’t love me. she’s with someone else now.”
you felt your stomach twist at the pain in his voice, at the way his composure was unraveling before you. you reached out instinctively, placing a hand on his shoulder. “suguru, i’m so sorry. i know how much she meant to you.”
he let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head.
“i thought we had something real, you know? i thought… i thought she’d see me the same way.”
“you loved her,” you murmured, feeling his anguish like a weight pressing on your chest. “you gave her everything. sometimes people… they just don’t see what’s right in front of them.”
“maybe it’s me,” he choked, clenching his fists. “maybe i just wasn’t enough.”
you took his hand, giving it a firm squeeze. “don’t say that. you’re more than enough. she just… didn’t see it. it doesn’t mean you aren’t worth it.”
his face crumpled, and for a moment, he was silent, holding onto you like you were an anchor keeping him from sinking.
“i feel so… empty,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper.
“let it out, suguru,” you said gently, wrapping your arms around him. “you don’t have to carry this alone.”
he leaned into your embrace, taking deep, shuddering breaths as he tried to regain control. you rubbed soothing circles on his back, feeling each tremble, each heartbeat, sharing in the quiet vulnerability of the moment.
“i don’t know what i’d do without you right now,” he said, his voice barely audible.
“you don’t have to,” you replied softly. “i’m here. you’ll be okay, suguru. even if it takes time.”
as you comforted him, you didn’t notice that toji had also come looking for you. he’d been watching the hallway, glancing at his watch, wondering what was taking you so long.
a knot of worry twisted in his stomach, his mind flashing back to the earlier incident – that sleazy man at the event who had tried to approach you.
what if something happened again?
when he turned the corner, the sight he found stopped him cold.
you, hugging suguru, holding him so tightly, your hand stroking his hair as he buried his face into your shoulder.
a strange, hot flare of jealousy surged up in his chest.
his jaw clenched as he stared at you, his fingers twitching with the urge to do… something. here was suguru, wrapped up in your arms, his pain visible and raw – but still.
toji couldn’t help the spike of resentment. why did it have to be suguru you were comforting?
why couldn’t you hold onto him like that?
his fingers tightened around the edge of his jacket, his thoughts spiraling. he knew he had no right to feel this way, knew suguru was hurting – but the sight of you so intimately close, your gentle words he couldn’t quite hear, only made his jealousy deepen.
his eyes narrowed as he kept watching, trying to ignore the twinge of vulnerability he hadn’t expected. why did he care so much? he gritted his teeth.
but when you finally looked up, catching sight of him, his expression was unreadable, masked beneath a carefully controlled look. there was a subtle stiffness to the way he held himself, and his gaze flickered briefly to suguru before settling back on you.
“toji…” you said softly, surprised to see him there.
he crossed his arms, giving a slight nod in suguru’s direction. “everything alright?”
“yeah,” you replied, glancing at suguru, who gave a faint nod, still wiping at his eyes. “just… a hard day.”
toji’s eyes softened slightly as he looked at you, though his expression remained guarded. “you’re a good friend,” he murmured, barely audible, though there was a hint of something deeper behind his words.
you offered him a small smile, sensing the underlying tension. “just doing what anyone would.”
toji’s gaze lingered on you a little longer, his jealousy ebbing slightly, though a part of him still ached to be the one you held so tightly, the one you’d stayed for so long just to comfort.
but he pushed the feeling down, knowing that tonight, suguru needed you more.
suguru excused himself to rejoin the table, likely gravitating toward satoru, who knew more about his heartbreak than anyone else there. that left just you and toji standing in your little corner, tucked away from the bustling restaurant.
he was looking at you with that smirk of his, the kind that had you already feeling flustered, but determined not to give him the satisfaction. he took a casual step forward, slipping his hands into his pockets, and leaned in close, voice low and almost playful.
“so… what’re you doing over here, all alone with me?” he drawled, eyes trailing slowly from your eyes down to your lips.
before he could say anything else, you raised an eyebrow, folding your arms.
“you mean, other than watching you try to pretend you weren’t sporting a hard-on for half the event?”
the teasing grin on your lips was unmistakable, and his reaction was instant. toji’s expression flickered, a hint of surprise in his eyes, followed by an intense gleam as he chuckled under his breath. “oh, so you noticed that, huh?”
“noticed? please,” you scoffed, keeping up your confident front even as he closed the space between you with slow, measured steps. “how could i not? it was right there.”
“guess you were too busy looking at me to focus on anything else,” he replied smoothly, his voice dropping a little lower. he leaned in, his lips hovering dangerously close to yours, breath warm against your skin. “maybe i should’ve been paying more attention to you instead.”
your heart skipped a beat, but you didn’t let it show.
“well, now you know better,” you murmured back, voice challenging. “maybe you should’ve acted on it then, instead of waiting until now.”
he raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. “oh, is that a challenge?”
“only if you can handle it,” you shot back, the thrill of the back-and-forth sparking something between you two.
his eyes darkened, and before you knew it, he had one hand on your waist, pulling you flush against him, his other hand braced against the wall by your head.
“you think i can’t handle a little challenge from you?” he murmured, his lips so close they nearly brushed yours.
you swallowed, but kept your cool. “if you could, you wouldn’t be hesitating.”
“trust me, sweetheart,” he murmured, voice low and dangerously smooth, “when i’m done with you, you won’t be the one running your mouth.”
before you could come up with a retort, his lips were on yours, firm and demanding, as if he’d been waiting all night to finally do this. you couldn’t hold back a soft gasp as he kissed you deeper, his hand sliding up to cradle your face while his other gripped your waist tightly, pressing you up against the wall.
your hands instinctively found their way to his shoulders, clutching him as he took full control of the kiss, his tongue brushing against yours with a fierceness that left your head spinning. he groaned softly as he pressed his body closer, one hand sliding up the side of your thigh, fingers grazing over the soft fabric of your dress.
“you like getting me all worked up, don’t you?” he murmured against your lips, his voice laced with that smug edge that made you shiver. “can’t get enough of teasing me, huh?”
“maybe i do,” you shot back, though your voice wavered slightly as he bit down on your lower lip, sending a spark through you. “but it’s not my fault you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”
he chuckled darkly, his hands sliding up your sides, thumbs brushing just beneath your ribs as he pressed his hips against yours.
“yeah? what’re you gonna do about it?” he murmured, leaning in to brush his lips over the sensitive skin of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.
“you really think you’re in control here?” you asked, voice challenging even as he continued to press you into the wall. “because from where i’m standing, it looks like you’re the one who can’t resist me.”
“careful what you say,” he warned, his tone thick with restrained desire. “i’m this close to dragging you out of here and making you eat those words.”
your heart raced, and even though you were half-tempted to keep pushing him, you couldn’t deny the thrill of having him this close, his hands roaming over you, his lips brushing down your neck. you let out a breathless laugh, threading your fingers through his hair as you tugged him closer.
“then maybe you should quit talking and show me what you’ve got.”
he didn’t need any further invitation. his grip tightened on you, his mouth covering yours in a heated, almost punishing kiss that left you breathless. his hands roamed over your body with a hunger that was practically palpable, every touch igniting a new spark.
he was practically devouring you, his breath coming faster as he pressed you harder against the wall, his fingers digging into your waist as he kissed you deeply, thoroughly, like he wanted to leave his mark.
“god,” he murmured, voice husky, “you’re driving me insane.” he leaned back just enough to look into your eyes, his gaze intense. “you really wanna keep pushing me, huh?”
you smirked, your own voice barely above a whisper. “maybe i just like seeing what you’ll do about it.”
on the outside, you were holding your ground. confident smirks, playful retorts, the whole act. but on the inside?
you were freaking the fuck out.
here you were, basically mimicking every female lead you’d ever written, pulling from their limitless reserve of sass and self-assuredness to somehow keep pace with toji's relentless flirting. each comeback, each smirk — it was like a mental pep talk to channel all those characters who’d never break a sweat in this situation.
but… oh god. what if things actually got hot and heavy?
you were standing there, going toe-to-toe with toji of all people, and it hit you — you were completely out of your depth here. this was not your usual flirting, the teasing banter you’d half-heartedly perfected through fictional dialogue.
this was real.
and suddenly the thought crept in like an alarm bell: you might actually have to… gn?
your eyes widened a fraction as you tried to keep your cool.
gn.
get naked, not even good night — although, maybe a good night after the get naked part, if you even made it that far without spontaneously combusting.
your mind raced, frantically scrolling through every bedroom scene you’d ever written, but realizing none of them really prepared you for this.
oh my god, you panicked inwardly, just because i write smut doesn’t mean i know what to do when i’m the one gripping the sheets!
“what, cat got your tongue?” toji’s voice interrupted your internal spiral, his smirk widening as he traced a thumb across your cheek, dipping dangerously close to your lips. “not so confident now, are ya?”
you forced a grin, cursing the tremble in your fingers as they clutched at his shirt.
“oh, please, like i’m nervous,” you shot back, mentally crossing every finger and toe that your voice didn’t waver.
inside, though, you were a swirling mess, praying he didn’t catch the slightest tremor.
fake it till you make it, right?
only problem was, the longer he looked at you, the more he seemed to see right through you.
his eyes narrowed just a little, his smirk shifting into something… softer, a touch more considerate. you wanted to think he’d be gracious, that he’d at least slow down, but no, there was something else in his gaze. maybe a flicker of understanding?
no, that was too generous.
he was toji.
and as if he could sense your hesitation, he leaned in close, his lips brushing your ear.
“relax, princess,” he whispered, his tone softer, maybe even gentle. “we can go as slow as you want. besides…” his lips quirked up into a teasing grin.
“don’t think you’re getting out of this without admitting how much you’re enjoying it.”
relax? yeah, right.
your heart was doing backflips, your mind racing through every possible move you’d probably never have the courage to pull off. he had you right where he wanted you, and you couldn’t stop the blush rising to your cheeks.
oh god, you thought desperately, please don’t ask me to make the next move.
just as you were bracing yourself to somehow manage to keep up this charade of confidence, toji’s phone vibrated between you, cutting the tension with a blaring ringtone. and of all people, it had to be gojo. you glimpsed his name flashing on the screen right as toji picked up, rolling his eyes before pressing the phone to his ear.
“what, satoru?” toji sighed, clearly irritated at the interruption.
“toji! man, hurry up and get back here!” gojo’s voice screeched through the phone, loud enough for you to hear the dramatic urgency. “we’ve got a very, very depressed mr. geto here who’s having the existential crisis of the century. we need all hands on deck, and yes, that means you too. and preferably sober, mind you. no drinks this time! none.”
gojo's voice dropped, muttering something about “banging y/n later if you have to,” but you both caught it.
toji gave you a side-eye smirk, shaking his head at gojo’s predictability, before letting out a sigh.
“fine. but you owe me one, big time.” and with that, he ended the call, shoving his phone back into his pocket.
before you could even tease him about the abrupt change of plans, he leaned in and gave you a sharp smack! on the ass, grinning at the way you jumped.
“guess we’ll have to put this on hold, princess. duty calls.” with a wink, he took your hand, leading you back toward the table.
it was gonna be a long night.
back at the table, the scene was…well, not what you’d expected.
suguru looked rough.
he sat slumped in his chair, swirling a glass of water (gojo had made sure of it) with a far-off stare that looked like he was seeing into another dimension. gojo and shoko were positioned on either side of him, each with their own ineffective tactics.
“c’mon, sugu, it’s not the end of the world,” gojo said, nudging him with a grin that looked a bit too forced. “i mean, i never liked her anyway. you deserve way better than —”
“she was amazing,” suguru cut him off, his voice flat but tinged with emotion. “you wouldn’t understand, satoru.”
shoko sighed, patting his shoulder. “she wasn’t that amazing. she had weird fashion taste.”
“and didn’t she correct you on every little thing? constantly?” gojo added, crossing his arms with a small smirk.
suguru gave them both a look, unamused. “i liked her fashion sense. and i didn’t mind the corrections.”
toji leaned back in his seat, giving you a subtle eye roll.
this was what you’d come back for.
he sighed, then leaned forward, slapping a hand on suguru’s shoulder. “you know, sulking isn’t gonna help anything. maybe it’s time to get back out there, stop dwelling on someone who clearly didn’t value you.”
suguru let out a tired sigh, and gojo jumped in, eyes lighting up. “exactly! there are plenty of people who’d be thrilled to date the great suguru geto!” he gestured around the room as if a fan club might spontaneously form right then and there.
“you’re smart, you’re talented —”
“and single,” shoko added dryly, sipping her drink with a shrug.
suguru slumped lower, clearly unconvinced. “i don’t want to be single,” he muttered. “i wanted her.”
you winced at the defeated tone in his voice, exchanging a helpless look with toji, who looked equally unsure what else they could say to help.
gojo, though, was not one to give up. he clapped his hands, as if a brilliant idea had just struck him.
“okay! new plan,” he declared, leaning in with an almost manic enthusiasm. “you’re going to go out with us this weekend. all of us. no work, no responsibilities — just a wild time. we’ll find you a nice rebound —”
suguru glared. “no, thanks.”
shoko groaned, propping her chin on her hand. “well, i’m out of ideas. anyone else?”
you took a deep breath, deciding to give it one last shot.
“maybe…you don’t have to forget her completely, but maybe you can focus on what made you happy outside of her. like, remember what you love doing?”
suguru looked at you, as if considering the thought, but then slumped back. “it’s not the same,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. “it’s just…not the same.”
gojo groaned dramatically, throwing his head back. “i swear, you’re worse than me on my worst breakup day. someone call for reinforcements because i think we’re gonna need a miracle worker for this one.”
the table fell quiet, everyone glancing at suguru, who looked as defeated as ever, and it hit you that maybe tonight, there really wasn’t a solution.
one month later, the dreaded wedding invitation arrived, dropped unceremoniously on suguru’s desk. it was embossed in gold, the bride and groom’s names announced in elegant script, and just looking at it made his chest tighten. this was her wedding — the woman he’d once thought he’d spend his life with, now celebrating a future with someone else.
gojo’s reaction was immediate, bursting out in an exaggerated laugh when he saw the invite on suguru’s desk.
“are you kidding me? she’s really inviting you? that’s low, even for her. come on, suguru, you’re not actually thinking about going, are you?”
suguru just gave a small smile, almost serene in the face of it all. “actually, i think i might.”
gojo gaped. “what?! dude, they’re practically rubbing it in your face! it’s like sending a ‘ha-ha, we’re in love, and you’re not’ postcard.”
he crossed his arms, scowling at the offending piece of cardstock. “this is the most tasteless thing i’ve ever seen.”
shoko, who was nearby, raised an eyebrow, half-amused, half-curious. “maybe she didn’t mean it that way, satoru. maybe it’s her way of being considerate, keeping suguru involved as a friend.”
gojo scoffed, rolling his eyes. “oh please, you don’t invite your ex to your wedding, especially if you broke his heart. she should be thrilled he’s not cursing her name in three different languages.”
but suguru only shook his head, calm as ever. “it’s not like that, satoru. we’ve both moved on, in our own ways. i don’t hold it against her. she chose what makes her happy, and if that’s someone else…well, then i wish her the best.” he shrugged lightly. “i don’t see any point in being bitter about it.”
gojo stared at him, as if seeing an entirely different person. “you’re joking, right? this is not you. the real suguru would’ve burned that thing or at least made a snarky comment about her dress being too ‘last season.’”
suguru laughed, an easy, relaxed sound that caught them all by surprise. “that’s exactly it, satoru. i don’t want to be that guy anymore. i’ve spent enough time with those feelings. they’re…exhausting. if going to this wedding gives me closure, then why not?”
gojo looked like he was about to combust. “closure? closure is just a fancy word for ‘let me put myself through hell for no reason.’ honestly, suguru, you’re giving her too much credit. she’s the one who ditched you, remember?”
suguru tilted his head, offering gojo a gentle but pointed look. “maybe it’s not about her anymore. maybe this is just about me.” his voice was calm, but there was a certain finality in it, as if he’d already come to terms with everything.
gojo, meanwhile, huffed and crossed his arms, looking thoroughly unimpressed. “well, i think it’s ridiculous. she doesn’t deserve any more of your attention.”
suguru sighed, but there was a faint smile on his lips, as if gojo’s dramatics were somehow endearing.
“satoru, not everything is a personal insult. people make choices. sometimes they’re not the ones we wanted, but that doesn’t make them wrong.”
gojo let out a long, exaggerated groan. “you’re way too good for this world, suguru. like, way too mature. no one deserves you. i’d be sending her a glitter bomb or something, just for the hell of it.”
shoko chuckled, patting gojo on the back. “maybe you should take a lesson from suguru. not everyone has to nurse their ego through every breakup.”
gojo snorted, still glaring at the invitation like it had personally offended him. “fine, go ahead and be the bigger person, suguru. but if you even think about bringing me as your plus-one, i’m causing a scene.”
he folded his arms defiantly. “i’m talking upstaging the bride type of scene.”
suguru’s smile widened, genuine and peaceful. “noted, satoru. but i think i’ll be alright.”
and in that moment, watching suguru handle what should have been a painful reminder with quiet dignity, even gojo’s bluster faded just a bit. sure, he might think suguru was handling it all wrong, but deep down, he couldn’t help but admire his friend’s strength.
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#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x fem!reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x female reader#jjk x fem!reader#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x female reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#fushiguro toji x you#toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#toji x self insert#fushiguro toji x reader#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro x reader#fushiguro x you#fushiguro x y/n#fushiguro x reader
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"His favorite movie is American Psycho, which is so on brand for him," snorted Quinn.
"Um," said Lucy. "I don't know what that means. You're saying it like it's a bad thing, but American Psycho is a critique of consumer culture, empty status symbols, and 80s excess and materialism."
"Well," said Quinn. "I mean, sure, yeah, fine, but it's also about a guy killing a bunch of women and a few men, and I don't think that all that other stuff is why he likes it." He folded his arms. "Like I just mean, American Psycho is like ... that's him."
"Okay, so you're doing that thing where you're acting like enjoying a piece of media that criticizes something means you're endorsing the thing it criticizes because it uses depictions of that thing. It's like saying that someone who loves 1984 must be in favor of totalitarianism." Lucy leaned forward. "The whole point of the movie is that Patrick Bateman is pathetic. He's not a cool antihero, he's a hollow shell of a human, riddled with anxiety about his place in a world that does not care about him or the other people like him. The movie is making fun of him, constantly. He's pretentious, insane, ridiculous."
"I mean, sure," said Quinn. "Right. The violence and degrading sexualization is meant to be disturbing. But that doesn't mean that everyone in the audience gets that, and it definitely doesn't mean that Ethan gets it. There's a thing that you can do when you're writing and directing a movie where you make the critique too subtle for people who need a brick to the face, and they end up embracing it, or where you don't believe in the critique enough and end up giving a mild endorsement to the thing you're supposedly criticizing, or worse, where you just use the veil of criticism to show a lot of transgressive and shocking things, which are the real point. And you can see that, right, where American Psycho is at least partly a base male fantasy of power, control, and wanton violence."
"I mean sure," said Lucy. "Except that American Psycho was written and directed by two women."
"Based on a novel written by a man," said Quinn.
"Sure, but I don't think that Bret Easton Ellis endorsed Bateman, he also thought that he was a pathetic character," said Lucy.
"I mean the point I'm trying to make is that an artist can't control the way their message impacts the audience," said Quinn. "And in many cases, the audience experience of the transgressive is rooted in that transgression, which is what draws them in, disconnected from any intended critique."
Lucy shook her head. "What were we talking about?"
"Ethan," said Quinn. "And how he's a dickhead."
"Right," said Lucy. "And he's one of the people that's going to die to a slasher tonight if we're not able to stop that from happening, except that the ripples through time of stopping any of this from happening might mean that I'm never born."
~~~~
Yes, that's right gentle reader, you've been reading Time Cut (2024) fanfic all along! There was this one line about American Psycho that bothered me, it's a movie that earned its 5/10 on IMDB.
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I've decided this is the year I stop spinning my wheels. I was going to try to do it last year, but between Mom's failing health and my deteriorating vision, it just wasn't happening. But I'm going to have my normal vision back next month, and that's the last thing holding me back.
Well... that and how nervous I get at the thought of finally sharing my webcomic idea. So I thought I could start saying some pretty vague things about it, slowly getting less vague, working my way up to posting some concept art possibly in May or June. And then maybe this fall I'll actually start it.
So... um... here goes nothing. I'll just vaguely explain some stuff relating to the premise, then sort of talk to myself about/explain how I have this very bad idea for how my story needs to be told but I don't see a way out of it.
One thing I like to do is imagine mythological creatures are real in the modern world, just hiding somehow, then try to figure out how different species might interact with each other. Then I'll look through myths and see if there's anything I can use to extrapolate into conflicts between various species. Similarities between different species that could indicate a single origin. Stuff like that.
For my webcomic, I had chosen a few species said to have shape-shifting powers and imagined what it would be like if they were secretly passing as human. Since us rednecks are seen as weird by our own neighbors, I thought it would be fun to tell a story about foreign mythical creatures coming to live in the redneck south and trying to figure out what's going on with all the guns and grits.
So I had the idea that the first few chapters will be some of the teenage non-humans botching their attempt to pass as human while meeting their new redneck neighbors, then slowly explaining their society to their new human friends. Every couple chapters something would happen to make the humans uneasy as they realized their new neighbors are hiding things from them, being evasive when asked questions about their history or about why one species seems to be treated as an enemy of the others.
I have this one character I'll refer to as H who is very special to me for reasons I'll explain someday. As I figured out his backstory, I came up with more and more scenes I wanted to show, way too many to show in flashbacks. I realized I wanted to do a prequel about H's life before the main series began.
The problem is, I'll need to do them at the same time. There are multiple things H did in the past that will have repercussions for the main story. I have spent years debating it, and I always come to the conclusion that I want my hypothetical readers to be introduced to a certain... thing in H's backstory before they see it in the main story. The scene will be so much more emotional that way, and my muse is fueled by raw emotion.
I've been doing a chapter-by-chapter outline of H's story this week (one of the few things I can still do while I wait for the laser treatment to fix my extra-crappy vision) and I've determined I'll need to share around 40 chapters of H's backstory to pull it off properly.
One solution would be to start out with H's story, finish it (it's going to be around 75 chapters in total), then do the main story. I suppose that could work. I intend to write them so you could enjoy either one independently. And I know what I'm going to call H's story, while I'm still undecided on the official name of the main story. But I really liked the idea of slowly introducing readers to how everything works in the story, while H isn't human and most of his story takes place in the nonhuman world. One example is my main antagonist group, where I wanted a sort of slow reveal of how this one society is causing conflict for the others. H has to outright explain this group to someone in chapter 16 of my current outline, and circumstances require him to spend a winter with them, which takes about 10 chapters to cover. It would reveal a lot of things early, but I don't see a way around it.
So I guess that's going to be my really bad idea. Start my main comic, do 20-30 chapters, then start H's story and alternate chapters as the story requires. I am seriously risking artistic burnout with that setup, but I think it'll be worth the risk to tell the story properly.
#Feel free to ignore#Mostly talking to myself#Planning for the future#I always feel like I'm being annoying when I post stuff like this#But I like reading stuff like this from other artists#Maybe somebody will want to read it someday#Okay I'll stop now
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kinda missing the "warning!!! lemon!!! boy x boy kissing, dont like dont read" days lately
#ajo im so nostalgic lately thinking abt all my interests then and how life was#which explains why im currently spiraling back down interests from early days like dmmd n specific music artists sighh sigh#i wanna draw my ocs all day and listen to metalcore and read books within 2 days and kiss guys and eat lemon icecream and ride my bike to#the music store and get new tapes at the video store and all the other stuff i did back then#late teens-early 20s was stupid but i do miss the time around it fr#like nah i dont wanna go back to there but i do wish i could bring these sensations and experiences back so guess ill just do that#ughhhh#babbles#tbd
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y'all go from being feminists to tearing these women down within seconds oh my god it's 2024 can we please stop viciously tearing one woman down to bring another up i don't care what side you take but saying vile shit about either woman and their music is disgusting, please grow up
#seperate the art from the artist please oh my god#for the record i like both billie and taylor#the variants being a major thing but i know thats not to hurt billie like yall say its it's to get more money (which she doesn't need????)#like let people have opinions oh my god its not that deep#and some of yall (not naming names yk who you are) went from loving billies new album to saying the most vile shit within a second which is#+shallow as fuck please learn to separate the art from the artist#you're allowed to dislike someones music but dragging them down as a person is shameful and not something to be proud of#and some of the shit ive seen said recently is disgusting please think before you speak#and ill be honest the swifties are saying most of the horrible stuff#i love taylor as much as you guys but it is not an excuse to say disgusting shit about other women please find something better to do+#+with your time#most of my mutuals are swifties but tbh if youre offended by me saying not to drag women down then i don't want you following me anyways#luc posts#billie eilish#taylor swift#i will not rant about my hatred for the variants and consumerism thats a post for another day#also have yall considered that this whole argument thing is pr so they can both get more streams. bc uh that was my first thought ngl#edit like 10 minutes later: i read an article and yall are blowing shit out of proportion it is literally not that deep omg
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Sometimes it ends too soon
And I don't want to sleep ~
song: The Mortal Boy King by The Paper Kites
I actually struggled a lot with the details and painting this… I think this has been on my wips for over a month. Here’s a Timelapse recording of the process :3 you can see how indecisive I am with the elements and colors lol I hope I can share more process like this with y’all because y’all inspire me to grow as a creator !! Thank you for watching :))
#tumblr finally let me post another video!!#long overdue but I was reading the tags and they were really kind and I wanted to share my process on this ;w;#art vids#timelapse#bsd#bsd chuuya#my art#let me know if you guys like seeing stuffs like these bc I… I have a lot but I’m just really insecure abt sharing them hhh#as an artist I like seeing other’s process so yes I just do what i wanted to see from others#(the secret formula is mess around until it’s decent looking lmao as u can see with me I just… kept adjusting things until the very end#orz#wip jail#<- this is gonna be my wip tag from now on if ever lol
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Im gonna need your like, whole musical rec list, bc literally every song you have posted has not flopped once, give me your faves i need to eat them
OUGHHH YOUVE UNLOCKED THE BEAST ARGSHHFHJDF....
in the interest of making this both easily accessible but not stretching the dashboard, im embedding bandcamp links when i can, otherwise linking to youtube when unavailable
in no particular order, inclusion based mostly on what im still actively into LMAO but also just things you should give a go at least once:
list of artist recommendations
zeal and ardor: described as a mix of african-american spirituals and black metal. try devil is fine, you aint coming back, wake of a nation or church burns
bloodywood: indian folk metal, literally nobody is doing it like them. recently featured in monkey man (2024), try chakh le, yaad or dana dan
stromae: if youve never heard any of his songs WHAT ARE YOU DOING..... incredible lyricist, described as a blend of hip hop/electronic. papaoutai made the rounds on tumblr a while back, but you should also try santé and l'enfer
alamat: pinoy pop. a youtube commenter described them as sounding like 2nd gen kpop which probably also explains why i took a shine to them LMAO, notable for the amount of filipino culture on display and the diversity thereof (singing in different languages, themes). first heard them thru kasmala either here or on twitter lmao, try aswang or maharani
andy bull: alt-pop. a lot of poppy and upbeat songs with a melancholic undertone imo. an australian artist, try it's all connected or keep on running
cosmo sheldrake: electronic, wikipedia also lists him as folktronica and baroque pop. you may have heard the song come along on an apple ad - hes known for sampling sounds from nature. pliocene for example features sounds from endangered ecosystems.
if you like cosmo sheldrake, you might like hidden orchestra (electronica, ambient). also making use of field recordings, i really love the archipelago mixtape but its a hard sell at about an hour lmao. if you like the following song then i implore you to give it a go
son lux: experimental, you may have heard from them in the entire soundtrack for everything everywhere all at once (!!!!!). try dangerous, dream state (brighter night) or live another life.
ammar 808: electronic/world fusion, also behind bargou 08 (folk rock you should also listen to). i just cant get ain essouda out of my head, but i also love geeta duniki
miyavi: j-rock, used to be a visual kei artist. these days he might be known more for anime openings like flashback (kokkoku) or other side (id:invaded), or for work like snakes in arcane (or actually inspiring and voicing a character in it), but ive always been partial to his early work like sukkyanen myv or ashita, genki ni naare
songs/albums
'threads' album by now, now (indie rock).
'dream to make believe' or 'what to do when you are dead' by armor for sleep (rock, emo). here's the truth about heaven from the latter album
i already posted about it but denzel curry's 13lood 1n + 13lood out mixx (rap, trap) is extremely good
the guilty gear soundtracks and im so serious im not fucking joking. different kinds of rock and metal and all sorts of influences put in, a genuine labor of love. xrd and earlier games are mainly instrumental with some vocal tracks (try give me a break or big blast sonic), while strive pretty much always includes vocals (of course i need to rec rock parade, but also try requiem. its genuinely hard for me to pick and choose lmao)
not an album and not an artist
coke studio pakistan and coke studio bangla knocking it out of the fucking park, im particularly a fan of harkalay and kotha koiyo na. you could try the other coke studios too (tamil, india, etc)
triple j like a version is when the radio station triple j brings in artists and has them do a cover of a song (artists choice). i liked denzel curry's cover of bulls on parade and flume's shooting stars (video for this one is incredible, man had a vision you just have to stick it out), but you get a lot of interesting interpretations like the wombats' running up that hill, gordi's in the end or, infamously. the wiggles' elephant
ive DEFINITELY missed out some, but thats what my music tag is for LMAO i hope someone discovers something they like here!!!!
#ive tried to include a mix of songs that covers their range..#includes the ones i like but ALSO is easiest on newcomers#particularly with the metal bands LMAO#eg church burns isnt really my favorite on the album but i remember it being the song i started with#specifically because someone in the reviews said it would be the easiest to start with. and they were right#also miyavi HAD to be here ive been a fan since GRADE SCHOOL#if ive recommended an album and not the artist its probably because im not a huge fan of their other stuff LMAO either cos#theyve moved away from what ive recommended stylistically (armor for sleep or now now)#or i havent gotten to a lot of the other stuff/its not my thing (denzel curry. sorry)#i liked the song ricky but a lot of the discography just isnt what i listen to rip#honestly it was so hard to choose AHSDUSDF i tried to choose artists that i really think others should listen to#but yeah obviously some are just there because. /i/ like them lol#wait not me reading the ask properly again and seeing that the focus was MY faves ASHDSDFSDHFBSDf#i got too excited at the prospect of recommending music#sonochinosodomy#ask#Bandcamp#music#obviously this couldnt be Everything... but ive done my best#to pare it down.............#long post
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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If half alive has 1000 fans I am one of them. If half alive has 1 fan, I am that fan
#text#august rambles#this is brought to you by seeing someone's review for them. and saying they didn't like the ep because it was standard#and that now not yet was better but had a bunch of poor songs. some of them bad#they even said still feel wasn't good because it was appealing too much to 'teen angst'#anyway i couldn't read the rest i had to leave#it was too painful i like the music too much we viewed it from different standpoints ack#i see a lot of people saying half alive is knock off twenty one pilots and like i see what they're saying. they are similar but#why does that mean its a knock off. what if they are just similar. half alive is clearly doing they're own thing. they're not copying them#maybe. that is just what that band is good at doing! the same as twenty one pilots. just cuz twenty one pilots came first doesn't mean#they own the scene. (you can argue they're better at they're music but if you're gonna do that make sure you're comparing the early stuff)#anyway rant about this because. i really like half alive and just dsbkncjnvb you don't need to be a fan#you don't need to think they're awesome. you can have an opinion outside of mine#but please be nice. and remember. it's Your opinion it's not Truth. if you don't like the song. you don't like it#if you think the repetition is boring. its not for you. if the 'angst' is stupid. its not for you. if the song doesn't hold weight.#it's not for you. the artist wrote this. and worked with other people to publish it#clearly they cared and other people saw worth in it. and like!! the fact that they're not big name also means they Can't get away with like#stupid filler stuff. they don't have enough of a name they gotta impress#idk i care too much. i see things like this and im just. ugh. it feels pretentious#half alive
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THXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! flowers and confetti for all of you! 💋🥳
#115 IS REALLY COOL AND IMPRESSIVE WAOW i think that fire text was supposed to be a gif oops#115 cool people :D#i dont check because mental health so i was surprised at this number?!?!#and im still a newbie at digital art so. Thank you so much for bearing with me!!#give me like 5 years anf then it will look decent 👍👍i will keep making low quality shitposts Though 👍#I'd love to make longer form comics but#best i can do is rushed two panel comics with realy bad jokes#Btw i see you. everyone who left silly little tags on my stuff. i read them all and#im in your walls BUT TYSM FOR THAT!! they make me laugh C:#im very happy that my art made others laugh too! ❤️❤️❤️#Also it's so surreal that super cool creatives and artists follow me back????#like okay#awesome people jumpscare#mutuals if youre readign this... youre super cool and talented..................... waves at you from afar#id love to socialize but am busy and shy 😔#anyways yeah#i wish my followers a very Healthy amount of sleep and water 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳#non art post
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i feel it's so fucking stupid and ungrateful but it still hurts a little when someone gifts me something i just don't like. i don't know. i know it's dumb and inaccurate to astrain that much meaning to a simple gift, but it feels kinda like they don't know me. i guess it feels like people don't see me, like a reminder that the person i reflect and the person i feel like are incredibly different.
#two fairly recent examples jump to mind#last year my class did a secret santa#the guy who got my name barely knew me so instead he asked our litterature teacher for tips#i was doing an effort to participate a lot in her classes and discuss stuff and i felt like she was an adult i could really trust#and adult who Gets It#and she picked just. the wrong gift. a classical philosophy essay.#stuff i hate reading. stuff i hate thinking about.#i said thank you to both of them and tried to read it during christmas break still. but i was right. i hated it.#and this year's christmas#recently i tried patching things up with my parents and we are a lot more communicative now#so they've opened up that my demand not to receive any gifts was painful to them#so we had an agreement: we write open-hearted letters to each other on christmas.#and they can gift me something if they'd like but no pressure if they don't find anything they feel would be a good gift#bc i myself opened up about the whole ''inaccurate gift'' thing being one of the reasons i dislike receiving stuff#and guess what. christmas comes. they got me a printed card from an artist whose work we saw at a local art thing earlier that year.#that artist does mainly either plants or nice architecture. stuff i love.#they picked the ONE work of hers that doesn't look like that. some reinterpretation of the great wave of kanagawa#a piece which i dislike with a passion for aesthetic reasons#i had promised i'd be honest if their gift missed the mark but tbh i couldn't. it's just an aesthetic thing it's completely begnin.#it's not like they spent lots or tried to pick something that was USEFUL#so i smiled and the picture is hanging with other stuff in my room#and i thanked them and i can't express how genuinely glad i am we have a better relationship#but man i felt my heart break a little under the tree in that moment#idk#i know it's silly but it makes me feel weird. and cold.#broadcasting my misery#vent
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i'm getting a bit jaded about copa and think i need to take a step back from it but my entire online persona is built around it. oops
#i feel like my tumblr has a very different vibe from my twitter#i come here to bemoan things and sound too dramatic about video games and manga and shit. im sorry lol#but it's hard when you literally develop an entire artistic identity around one niche/flawed video game franchise with a very weird creator#and then you get older and realize oh wait i should do something else with my identity probably#but you struggle to make anything original without it feeling like it's just blatantly copying other media you like!!!!!!!#went to therapy today and talked out some identity crisis shit so i'm probably just thinking too hard about this#i think the other factor is that i'm starting to read/play genuinely good stuff and its making me reevaluate copa a bit#(i have an english degree so this should've happened ages ago but fromsoft and berserk are what pushed me over the edge!)
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Did or does anything inspire your art? It’s so fun and unique
I do have artists (both Established and like Peers/Mutuals) I enjoy and I do pluck traits from art I like as I see fit to mold my own but I don't have any conscious inspiration ykwim...ive had ppl tell me my art looks like or reminds them of things i like, whether "vibe based" (stuffed animals) or a specific media (care bears) but i dont consciously draw inspiration from care bears ykwim... I could tell u i loved archie comics as a kid and i love the art style but thats not a good answer to the question bc it doesnt present itself in my work (and if it does its not on purpose) ykwim...i hope dis makes sense.
I always bring up Urasawa when this question comes up, like I love urasawa's art and often save lots of it for inspiration but my work doesnt really ever come out as an emulation of his as a result, it's more osmosed as I try to figure out how I want to draw, bc I haven't seen anyone who draws the way I'd like to yet. (Also using him as an example, as this is how I feel about all my other "inspirations").
Theres tons of different ways to draw every possible trait of a face or body etc, so I just do that, taking shapes and such from other artists i observe along the way without really picking up the influence (and if i do its never for very long), since I've yet to find anything im very happy with
#ive never understood how people do those inspiration boards and you can SEE how all the people they list influence their art#if i could scrounge together enough artists that inspire me then i dont think you'd even be able to tell unless you Guessed#if that makes sense#similarly i do have thousands of folders of artists and mutuals' art i have saved#to go look back at for inspiration...but its not direct inspiration#like zaftiguy2 on twitter (NSFW) is an inspiration of mine....you would never guess though bc what I osmose from his work doesn't#present itself very upfront in my stuff‚ if at all#does this make sense? i feel when ppl ask others this question is bc they wanna see more art adjacent to that of the person theyre asking#but unfortunately its not like that for me ykwim :(#id be much much better if there was someone who drew the way i want to draw that i could copy off of LOL#my art is so bad BECAUSE i feel like im making it from scratch. and im bad at coming up with things#anonymous#skunk mail#so thank u for thinking its unique bc i personally think its very generic as a result#like. entry level art style#off the top of my head artists i LIKE are kemafili manaohu and yawningyawns#on twitter....kemafili is on here though (kemafili1 on twitter)#those are artists i have in my ''fave'' folder. theres others i think but thats the only ones i can think of rn#i also have tons of artist folders saved in general but read my above statements about inspiration#eraserplains is another one... they're on tumblr too#i like raymodule (tumblr) and robottoast (twitter) but again not in a way where im like wow i want to draw exactly like that lets try
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