#But I hated being hugged

[teaboot]

As a kid I remember I felt real awkward and useless when other kids cried and as an adult seeing kids cry I still feel awkward and useless but I remember I hated being watched or talked to during a cry so to this day my go-to is "hey bud it seems like you're having a bad time so I'm just gonna sit here on the floor in solidarity, take your time tho" and it's probably not the best way to help but it's the best I've got and so far it hasn't backfired so. That's what I'm gonna keep doing I guess

[lazylittledragon]

more of karlach's coffee shop which isn't just an excuse to draw more shadowlach

[kelin-is-writing]

WORLD STOP—!!! EVERYONE!!! WE GOT NEW BLACK HAIR DABI CONTENT!!! MISSED HIM SO MUCH PLEASE 😭🖤

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

[temzias]

HUGS! sometimes you just need to hug your bros while you’re out saving the world

and a bonus:

[arcanegifs]

Arcane Gif Requests: anon + Caitvi Scenes: 27/? ↳ "We need you back on your feet. What was the name Sevika gave you? Jinx?"

[untitledgoosegay]

re last reblog I do see fanfic culture pushing/replicating a certain model of "what trauma looks like," "how trauma works"

this is a problem across all areas of society obviously, but transformative works are, well, transformative. they're about crafting and modifying narratives where the fan-creator sees a flaw or a lack -- often for the better! don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of "I take a hammer and I fix the canon," it's the main thing that gets my creative gears spinning -- but what happens when that "flaw" is simply a narrative not conforming to popular expectations?

some people just don't get PTSD from events that sound obviously traumatic. they're not masking, and they're not coping; they just straight-up didn't get the permanently-locked stress-response that defines PTSD. they walk away from a horrible experience going "well, that sucked, but it's over now." some people do get PTSD from events most people wouldn't find traumatic. we don't really know why some people get PTSD and others don't. but fandom has an idea of events that must be traumatizing, of a "correct" way to portray trauma. you see the problems with this lack of understanding in e.g. fans pressuring the devs of Baldur's Gate 3 to add dialogue where the player character badgers Halsin about his own feelings on his abuse -- because he must be traumatized, and his trauma must fit a certain mold and presentation of sexual trauma, under the mistaken impression that anything outside that narrow window is somehow "wrong" and disrespectful or even harmful to survivors.

take, for another example, the very common trope of a traumatized character who hates touch or sex "learning" to like touch or sex as a part of their healing process. certainly that can be healing for some people; other people will never like, or want, touch or sex, because of trauma or because they just don't. the assumption that someone who doesn't want sex or doesn't like to be touched must be traumatized, must be suffering from this perceived lack, is seriously harmful -- to asexual people, to people with sensory issues around touch, and to people for whom healing from trauma means freedom to refuse sex or touch.

and there's a secondary trope, one that's slightly more thoughtful but ultimately repeats the problem -- that once someone has learned that their boundaries will be respected, they'll feel it's safe to soften those boundaries. once they feel safe refusing touch or sex, they'll feel comfortable allowing it on their own terms. but many people don't, and many people won't! many people will simply never want to be touched, and never want sex, and they are not suffering or broken or lacking because of it. the idea that proving you'll respect someone's boundaries entitles you to test those boundaries -- the paradox is obvious, and yet this is something i've seen hurt (re-traumatize) people i care for.

people are imperfect victims. people don't heal in the ways you expect. many people have positive memories of their abuse, of their abusers. many people hurt others in the course of their trauma, in ways that can't easily be unpacked in a 5k oneshot. very few narratives of trauma and recovery actually fit the ones put forward by popular children's media and romance novels -- which are the ones I most see replicated in fandom spaces, because they provide the clearest narrative and easiest catharsis, and so they're easy and soothing to reach for.

that's not necessarily a bad thing! i am not immune to goopy romance tropes. i am not immune to teary catharsis. not every fic has to grapple with ugly realities. but there's a problem when these narratives become predominant, when people think they're accurate and realistic depictions of trauma, when the truth of trauma is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit any single narrative, let alone one of comforting catharsis

[hivemindscape]

the buddy-buddy act ends now

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

EPIC fans: what else was Odysseus supposed to do?! Scylla was the only way home!!

Me, an intellectual: there WAS a way for Odysseus and crew to get past Scylla without one crew member dying. They previously had a bunch of Sirens at their mercy, so if they so wished, they could have used six sirens to satisfy Scylla’s price.

After all…ruthlessness (to others) is mercy upon ourselves

[solidaritygaming-fanblog]

btw do yourself a favor and never think "haha someone should make a compilation of everytime Jimmy says something self depreciating!" Because any time he says he hates himself you'll feel sick to your stomach and want to cry. Totally not speaking from experience

[starry-bi-sky]

*stares at disciple SQQ falling into the abyss au*

oh you are so "SY-is-SJ" coded. You are so "fell into the abyss and suddenly remembered that oh i've been Shen Jiu this whole time, not just Shen Yuan. we are one and the same". you are so 'crumbling under the weight of the system and being in the abyss and the despair of never really being free and having suffered in both lives' built. you are so 'scrambling to come to terms with your existence and battling with which life is really yours, only to realize that they both are'. You are primed for going off the rails.

I'm so normal about this guys. i promise.

[doctahchang]

kathryn janeway my favourite heroine of a greek tragedy

song is alt-j - philadelphia

[marshmallowdarling]

I had a really shitty interview this afternoon (that wasn’t even a proper interview it was like 2 minutes tops), SO IM PROJECTING THAT ONTO THE OLD MEN I LIKE!!! John Price who drives you to your interview, lets you practice your lines onto him and presses little kisses onto your forehead or hair while you get ready. When you leave his truck, because he has a truck fucking fight me- he gets out too open your door for you like a gentleman and gives you one last kiss before squeezing your shoulders softly and rubbing up and down your arms for one last “Good luck sweetheart”. 

John Price who once seeing you leave the place early can already see your face and immediately wraps you in his arms, rubbing your back while letting you angrily rant to him while he leads you back to his truck. 

“I know kid, I know. You did so well.”  He gets you ice cream and some food, letting you calm down with your ice cream and only once he can see your more stable ask’s you what happened. 

John Price who nods along and lets out an annoyed click of his tongue when you spill how the guy ONLY read your CV and Resume on the spot, you didn’t even get to talk to him properly or tell him your strengths or weakness’s before he shooed you away with a ‘we will reach out soon’. 

John Price who gets pissed on behalf of you when he hears this but keeps it together when your anger fades away to sadness. Rubbing your back and whispering sweet nothings into your ear while he lets you cry, keeping you wrapped up in his arms. 

John Price who when you finally get back home drops to his knees, which takes a bit because time in the army will do a number on your body, to take off your shoes. Large fingers gently massaging your calf and ankle while he slips on shoe off, pressing a kiss to the side of your knee before mimicking that on your other leg. 

John Price who pampers you for the rest of the night, letting you cry on his shoulder but stealing kisses and tells you that you did so well and they are idiots to do that to you and not hire you. 

[peachyutdr]

i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D

[feelingtheaster99]

Percy is such a BOY sometimes lol. He sees a change in his interactions with Annabeth and immediately assumes it’s about the hug

[wannabemasterofwindintraining]

Touch repulsed man caught being physically affectionate