#But I DO know Surge is super fucking cool and awesome and I like her

[i-live-here-in-my-house]

Consider, if you will, a Surge The Tenrec game as a sort of spiritual successor/sequel to Shadow the Hedgehog (the game) with more focus on hack and slash action game with similar choose your path story telling, and a little less on traditional 3D sonic gameplay, be it boost or adventures style.

I think her powers and personality would work SUPER well in that kinda game. With it starting with a similar concept as Shadow's game with her trying to finally find her and Kit's memories and needing to team up with and fight various other members of the Sonic cast in order to finally learn the truth of her past. Idk I just think it'd be really neat.....

[sonkfan005]

queer headcanon for sonic characters time hell yeah

btw i have asks open id love to hear headcanons from anyone else, too <3

sonic - quoi-biromantic (as in, cant easily differentiate between platonic and romantic affection, and biromantic) and ace. most asexual guy ever. cis guy, but honestly transfem sonic is based as hell. she would keep her name Sonic lol

tails - hes just a little guy. trans boy tails is one of my favourite headcanons

amy - aroace amy is awesome. i think she just has really strong platonic feelings, which she has taken to be romantic. (but biromantic heterosexual amy is a close second) cis girl

knuckles - gonna be honest transmasc knuckles is fucking epic. straight

shadow - transmasc shadow is also a good one. aro, heterosexual.

rouge - bi QUEEN. cis. my beautiful bisexual latina queen.

silver - nebularomantic (as in, has a hard time differentiating platonic from romantic affection due to ASD) and gay. hes the type to be super in denial about it. if nobody has written a fic about him coming out to himself ill write it myself. agender he/she if he had the time to figure it out lmfao. he doesnt know what the hell that means though. amy totally had to explain what being nonbinary was to him.

blaze - lesbian. butchy.

espio - homoromantic ace. cis guy. i have a hard time seeing hi as anything but that. i think hes like silver in that, he was also super in denial. tried to prove he wasnt gay lol

vector - not enough transmasc vector in this world, i think hes transmasc. came out to himself late in life. i think espio met him before he transitioned.... thatd make for a good fic. straight

big - he/him nb ace lesbian tbh

jet - in denial about bi. he gets a crush on a guy for the first time and hes like Wow Hes So Cool I Need To Beat Him Up. cis

wave - cishet. she keeps trying to get jet to admit hes bi but he wont listen

storm - aro heterosexual. no strong opinions. he thinks women are good-looking but i dont know how much hed be into romance... cis. gives awful dating advice to wave and jet.

eggman - most aro homosexual man to ever exist. cis. i do love seeing artworks of egg-woman though. if eggman were a woman shed also be aro homosexual/lesbian lol

whisper - trans girl whisper holds a dear place in my heart. lesbian

tangle - cis lesbian. she was a little lemur and saw a beautiful woman on tv and said Mom(s) I'm Marrying A Woman. i think she has two lesbian mothers too.

belle - heteroromantic ace. i like to imagine shes the type to sit around and picture her wedding when shes got nothing else to think about. cis, and hasnt given it much thought.

mimic - aroace. easy. cis

starline - transmasc and gay. good for him

lanolin - cishet, but honestly itd be funny if she were like, Oh Yeah Im Straight. Everyone Thinks Women Are Hot So That Doesnt Count and Belle just fuckin. stares at her lmao

vanilla - cishet also

sally - cis, bi

surge - ace lesbian, but she is far from ready to even think about romance,,, cis

i cant think of any more characters lol. i dont know anything about archie characters so i dont wanna include them

[dweetwise]

Jeff ADOPTING THE LEGION! Like the glitch of 4 killers spawning and 1 survivor. The legion gets to have races and be stupid(er) for a match. Frank shows off how to totally do a gen!

[anon gets it. this was super fun to write, hope you enjoy!]

just legion being brats and jeff being a dad. some references to this ask!

Jeff babysits the Legion: ficlet

Jeff is in the middle of rolling up some bandages for his med-kit, waiting for the others to arrive at the pre-trial campfire. When the familiar smoky tendrils start creeping up his legs, he looks around with a frown on his face; nope, still just him. He’s reminded of the last time the Entity decided to start a trial with less than four survivors, and he groans in annoyance, hoping he doesn’t have to put up with three grizzlys this time.

When Jeff opens his eyes, he’s in the middle of Mt. Ormond's snowy grounds and predictably, he’s alone; not the most promising start. He reluctantly makes his way to the lodge, keeping a lookout for angry bears. With no heartbeat in earshot, Jeff crouches by the generator and gets to work, but as soon as the first piston starts moving, he realizes he has company.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here!” one of the Legion, he thinks Julie, sneers at him from the second floor, leaning cockily against the railing. “Man oh man, you came to the wrooong place,” a man in a skull mask comes up beside her, spinning his knife in a threatening manner. That must be Joey. “We’re gonna gut you like a pig,” Julie says, spitting out the word as she starts making her way down the stairs, sliding down the banister like an unruly child.

Jeff sighs and gets up on his feet. One of the Legion brats he can deal with, but two? Better to just get this over with.

“How are you both here?” Jeff asks, undisturbed by Julie getting right up in his face. “Not a very fair match, if you ask me.” “'Both’? You don’t know the half of it,” Joey snickers, probably sharing a knowing look with Julie; it’s hard to tell with the masks. Jeff is about to ask him to elaborate, when a sharp pain flares up his shoulder. “Oops, sorry!” a third member of the Legion--Susie, the one with braces, says from behind him, retracting the knife from his shoulder. “What’s a little stabby-stab between old friends, huh?” “I preferred when you paid me with beer, not stabs,” Jeff grits out through the pain, glancing at the faded mural he made for the group’s hangout what feels like a lifetime ago. “Ooh, he’s funny!” Julie mocks, gripping her knife better. “Don’t worry, you’ll scream soon enough,” she says, raising her hand. “That’s enough,” a familiar voice interrupts them and Julie lowers her hand without hesitation. Jeff sees Frank walk down the stairs with an annoying cocky swagger, Joey not far behind him. “How nice of you to intervene,” Jeff says to the group’s leader, trying to tone down his sarcasm. 

He’s always thought the Legion kids were nice enough on their own, becoming sort of an annoying hive mind when together, but Frank is by far the worst offender, turning into an insufferable asshole when he is with his little gang.

“Fatty,” Frank acknowledges him, making Julie snort. Jeff rolls his eyes at the juvenile humor. “Dude, what are you doing?” Joey questions. “Just kill him.” “One,” Frank begins, lifting his index finger. “This one’s the least dipshit survivor--not that that’s saying much. Two, as long as he’s alive, we can keep hanging out in the trial. And three--” Frank surges towards Joey, slamming him against a pillar and holding his knife against the other’s throat. “Don’t you dare fucking question me again or I’ll throw you on a hook and leave you to rot.”

Joey holds up his arms in surrender and Frank eventually lowers the knife, still leaning over the other teen menacingly. The air is tense with the threat of violence, and even Julie shifts awkwardly on her feet.

“Oooh!” Susie suddenly exclaims. “Was he the one who helped you when you were a baby survivor?” she asks cheerily, pointing at Jeff and innocently cocking her head.

As Frank sputters something unintelligible, clearly embarrassed, and Julie and Joey snicker to themselves, Jeff feels the tension fade and he can’t help but let out an amused huff of his own.

“I saved him! From a--from a fucking bear!” Frank eventually manages to stammer out. Jeff just smiles knowingly, and feels Frank’s stare digging holes into him as if daring him to bring up the events of their last trial together.

As it turns out, the Legion aren’t too bothered by keeping Jeff around so they can stay in the trial to fuck around. At first, they have a race along the long wall of the cabin, with Joey winning each one, until Jeff comes up with an idea.

“Why don’t I throw down some pallets and mark a couple windows, make an obstacle course for you guys?” “That sounds like fun!” Susie beams, bouncing on her feet and clapping her hands in excitement. “Whatever, I’ll still kick all your asses!” Joey boasts.

Jeff throws together a makeshift obstacle track around the shack side of the map, before giving a countdown to the bunch of unusually focused teens standing in a neat row. On his command, they take off in a frenzy, sprinting to the first window. It takes approximately five seconds for the fighting to start.

“You’re blocking me, asshole!” “Frank broke the pallet!” “Cheater!” “JUUDGE!!” Julie’s annoyed whine has Jeff make his way over to the commotion. He sees Frank on the ground, laughing hysterically while Susie is on top of him and is slapping him with his own mask, with Joey standing next to them, sulking. Julie turns to Jeff and angrily points at the remains of a pallet and Frank’s iridescent button on his jacket. “Frank, you’re disqualified,” Jeff says. “It was just a prank, bro!” Frank laughs while shielding himself from Susie’s wrath.

The three remaining Legion members redo the race, with Julie winning by a landslide. She’s in the middle of boasting to an annoyed Joey, when Frank’s face, now maskless, lights up.

“Bet you guys don’t know how to repair a gen!” “Uhh, yeah, ‘cause we’re not a bunch of pussy survivors?” Joey says, not eager at the idea. “I think someone’s scared of losing. Again,” Frank eggs on. “Oh you’re on.”

Jeff ends up teaching the other three how to repair the machine while Frank just shows off and gives obnoxious comments at the others’ failures. Surprisingly, Susie eventually comes out on top, seeming to be the best mechanic out of the four.

“How are you so good at this?” Julie asks, zapping herself on the wires again. “It’s like a puzzle! Super easy!” Susie beams. “Yeah?? Well try to do it when a bear is on its way to eat you!” Frank argues, clearly annoyed at having been bested.

When the group leaves the generator, the four teens stop dead in their tracks and turn to look at something between two rocks. Jeff hears the familiar sound of echoing winds before he sees the hatch. Huh, he hadn’t even considered the fact it would have been open from the very start of the trial, seeing as he’s the only survivor. He could jump in right now and leave, or one of the killers could kick it shut, starting the two-minute endgame timer. Either way, the Legion’s time together (and his time with them, he reluctantly admits) would be cut short.

“You guys want to make a bonfire?” Jeff suggests, pretending not to notice the collective relief in the kids’ postures at his suggestion. “I doubt the hatch is going anywhere for a while.” “I saw some marshmallows in the lodge!” Susie exclaims.

Frank gathers some rubble for the fire, while Joey helps Jeff carry two couches up on a small hill and Susie and Julie find some marshmallows and blankets in the lodge.

“This is nice,” Susie says later, huddled up in a blanket, sitting between Joey and Jeff and looking up dreamily at the starry sky, fire crackling in front of her with four discarded masks next to it. “These taste like shit and the stars are fake as fuck,” Frank says, spitting out the roasted marshmallow and leaning back on the couch in annoyance. “Well, it’s the nicest we’ve had since we got here,” Susie says quietly, nibbling on her own marshmallow and pulling the blanket tighter around herself. “Susie’s right, lighten up,” Julie says, seemingly elbowing Frank under their shared blanket. “It’s been a fun day.” “Yeah, uh. Thanks, man,” Joey mumbles, and it takes Jeff a second to realize the man is addressing him. “Yess! Thanks for this awesome day Jeff!” Susie says, smile back on her face and actually leaning over to give Jeff a cute half-hug. “And, uh... sorry for stabbing you.” “Nothing a few bandages couldn’t fix,” Jeff says and gives the girl an encouraging pat on her back. “Feel free to come hang out whenever,” Julie says. “Yeah, Frank was right. You’re pretty cool,” Joey says. “I never said that!” Frank, predictably, denies. “But. You know. What she said. About hanging out,” he mutters, awkwardly looking away and gesturing at Julie. “Sure. This has been a nice change of pace. Maybe next time we can spray paint more of the lodge,” Jeff suggests with a small smile. “That would be so cool!” Susie beams. “You do realize we’re still gonna kill you in trials though?” Joey points out. “I wouldn’t expect any less.”

When Jeff finally, and a little reluctantly, makes his way out through the hatch, he finds an obscene amount of bloodpoints waiting for him outside of the trial. There’s also a note, with messy symbols scrawled in an unintelligible language that he can inexplicably read--ah, a note from the Entity. He barks out a hearty laugh as he makes out the contents of the note: “Babysitting bonus: +100 000 BP”.

[notaparty-trick]

Spideychelle Week: You Ain’t Living Until You’re Loving

Day 2: Soulmate AU

A/N: Hello guys!!! Have my crazy contribution to Day 2 of the Spideychelle event @spideychelleweek rife with awkward teen romance and the wildest soulmate reveal I could dream up :)

I have to go watch TV with my family now so enjoy the fic, bye!!!!

Summary:

Pulling back the sleeve of her shirt, MJ gapes at the sight of a name slowly etching itself into her skin in a fierce red. Peter Parker.

When she darts her gaze upwards, it’s clear to see that Spider-Man - Peter, he must be called - has figured it out too. Tugging at the tear in his suit below his neck, he reveals Michelle Jones in a blocky script of deep aquamarine over his collarbone. 

“What’s it doing? What does it say?” he demands breathlessly, tapping a gloved finger over the mark.

“Michelle Jones,” she tells him haltingly. “I’m… I’m Michelle.”

---

MJ and Peter meet at an inopportune time and discover an unexpected tie between them which proves the situation even more difficult. Cue the most awkward romance of the 21st century.

Characters

Michelle Jones, Peter Parker, May Parker

Word count

4631

Warnings

Guess what? Almost none! Just swearing :)

Upon waking in the morning, it is impossible to be certain of exactly what the day will entail. The spontaneity of life is arguably what makes it exciting, fulfilling.

Right now, as MJ clutches desperately at the handrail of the subway train as it hurtles towards oblivion, she would argue the opposite.

It’s just her luck to have ended up in the very front compartment, the one that’s precisely where the ground will be when the tracks end and they plummet to the ground at around 80 miles an hour.

Don’t think, just act.

At the very least, she is blessed with a modicum of common sense that none of the other horror-stricken passengers seem to possess.

“Get back!” she cries, shooing people towards the carriages closer to the back. “It’s safer in the back carriages!” 

Nobody argues. They resemble a herd of spooked sheep as they shuffle away. 

MJ has a more-than-basic knowledge of physics: she’s aware that the impact of hitting the ground is likely to splatter every single occupant of this lousy train. But she has to do something.

Not like she has anywhere better to be. Like, you know, going about her life. Arriving home from school in one piece.

Climbing towards the very front of the train, she finds the space where the conductor should be sitting utterly wrecked, sparks flying, the stick she supposes controls the speed rattling around on the floor. Great. Awesome. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. She’s starting to run out of options. 

Any semblance of logic in her mind drops away as she sticks her head out of the front window and finds Spider-Man.

“Um. Hello?”

“Oh - uh, hello, ma’am!”

The first thing MJ notices about Spider-Man is that he’s surprisingly… short. She has to look down on him. 

Not that that’s important.

For a good few moments, they stand there, watching each other, MJ feeling her mouth open and close soundlessly. She’s expecting Spider-Man to do the talking, but he’s just waiting around, stuck to the front of the train, his suit torn at his collarbone and abdomen - damn, those abs - and silent as yet.

“So… you got any bright ideas?”

He jumps to attention. “I, uh, I tried a bunch of things already. Just… trying to think of something that’ll actually work.”

The voice coming from behind the mask is startlingly young-sounding.

“The controls are busted, aren’t they?” he ventures.

To affirm his remark, MJ stoops and grabs the loose accelerator stick and thrusts it into his hands. As she does so, however, a sudden surge of what she can only describe as liquid gold thrums through her veins, sparking from her hands where they’d brushed Spider-Man’s gloves. It’s overwhelming, enchanting, and for a moment even the fact that she’s speeding towards almost certain death is forgotten over the glow that overcomes her.

“What the - wow.” She blinks, clearing the heavenly fog from her mind, and startles at a sharp itching sensation at her wrist.

This is when she realises.

Pulling back the sleeve of her shirt, she gapes at the sight of a name slowly etching itself into her skin in a fierce red. Peter Parker.

When she darts her gaze upwards, it’s clear to see that Spider-Man - Peter, he must be called - has figured it out too. Tugging at the tear in his suit below his neck, he reveals Michelle Jones in a blocky script of deep aquamarine over his collarbone.

“What’s it doing? What does it say?” he demands breathlessly, tapping a gloved finger over the mark.

MJ has never been this shaken in her life. She’s half-sure she’s going into cardiac arrest. Too many surprises for one day.

“Michelle Jones,” she tells him haltingly. “I’m… I’m Michelle.”

The eye lenses of Spider-Man’s suit widen in a manner that would be comical in any other situation. “Oh. Oh my God. Michelle.” 

“Your name is Peter?”

“Michelle, we’re - we’re--” he points to himself, then her, then him again.

“Call me MJ,” she tells him dazedly. Really, it’s unfair that he gets to wear a mask right now while her inability to comprehend what’s going on is painfully exposed.

“MJ.”

Neither of them have said anything of substance for a long time, and it’s cost them.

Because when she looks over Spider-Man’s shoulder MJ gets the reality check of her life.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Not a thousand metres ahead of them is the end of the tracks. Oblivion.

“I’m just gonna yeet out a bunch of webs and hope for the best, okay? Hang on!”

She’s too dumbfounded to do anything but crouch down, bracing her arms against the metal walls on either side of her. Only now does panic really begin to set in.

“Oh, shit,” she whispers to herself, squeezing her eyes shut. “I didn’t wanna die today, I didn’t wanna die today. I was just going home from school.”

“You’re not gonna die today!” comes Peter’s voice again, strained but fired with a resolve at odds to his prior uncertainty. And they begin to slow down. 

All around MJ is the nerve-shredding sound of webs stretching. Please hold, please hold.

Spider-Man begins to cry out. MJ can’t even comprehend the fact that he’s intercepting the force of an entire fast-moving train right now - doesn’t know whether to think about her family and friends she might never see again, or the fact that she might just meet her end on the very subway she hates commuting on so much, or the glaring name on her wrist that both tells her Spider-Man’s secret identity and reveals that Spider-Man is her soulmate, or the fact that she’s met her soulmate just seconds before she’ll probably die, or, at the very least, sustain some substantial long-term damage to her nerves or bones or something crazy.

“Oh, crap,” she catches Peter muttering to himself between grunts of exertion, “Harder - than it - looks.”

“You got this, Spider-Man,” she calls to him with an unexpected level of hesitancy.

The only response is a long, agonised yell.

The train screeches and judders. The front windows shatter simultaneously, sending a spray of glass shards into her hair. Then, in a movement that sends her heart plummeting, her carriage dips downwards, sending her thudding against the frontmost wall, frozen in a swell of panicked nausea. There’s a duet of groans from the underbelly of the carriage and from Peter.

Silence reigns.

The train has stopped.

MJ waits a moment in her braced position, wondering what kind of alternate universe she’s in where she just survived that.

Gathering her wits, she rises to her feet - with difficulty, because the whole carriage is at an angle now - and turns to see Peter still standing in front of the carriage. He’s eerily still, in fact.

“Spider-Man? Peter?”

Just as she reaches him, he begins to list towards the ground. 

“Oh - woah--”

She lunges for him before he can fall out of the train, grabbing him awkwardly under his armpits, and winces as they both thud to the ground under his deadweight. A noise of protest emanates from the train at the sudden impact.

“So,” MJ reasons shakily with herself. “That was crazy.”

And now her soulmate is passed out in her arms in his spandex super suit.

Right.

MJ is logical, so she takes his pulse first; although she doesn't really know what to make of it - she's no doctor - at least it's there. Next, she tries tapping on his shoulder, his cheek, his chest. "Spider-Man? Pet-- should I be calling you that? You know what, you could answer that if you woke up right about now."

The urge to take off his mask is overwhelming. Nobody's around. He's passed out. And - for fuck's sake, he's her soulmate.

And yet her hand stills just over his neck.

As much as she wants to know what he looks like - oh God, what if he's way older than me? - it would be an invasion of trust just moments after they'd met. If there's one thing MJ is certain of, it's that she doesn't want to screw this up.

"Spider-Man, wake up." 

He jolts awake at last, hands flying to his biceps to grip muscles that MJ can imagine are unbelievably sore right now.

He squints up at her. "What's...? Did it work?"

"Yeah." She smiles nervously, then recoils at her own behaviour. Yuck. Don’t be ditzy.

"You saved us," she tacks on eventually.

"Oh. Cool."

MJ can practically hear the dorky grin behind that remark; she's at least eighty percent sure that no fully-grown adult would speak like that.

He pulls down his suit at the collarbone again, trying to crane his neck to see the script there; then he meets her eyes, the eye sockets of his suit expanding. "Uh - so..."

"Yeah." 

Then ensues a charged moment unlike anything MJ has experienced before. Peter, still on the floor, simply gazes up at her, and she studies him. It's silent, still, but she feels her heart pattering furiously against her ribs all the same. She offers her wrist to him; when he circles it with his hand, a heady, blissful rush of content spreads through her with the indulgent movement of honey.

Her huffed-out laugh is mirrored by one of his own, a high-pitched, pealing thing that draws a smile from her.

He shyly guides her hand to his collarbone next; she watches him sink into the floor a little further at her touch, tension she hadn't even noticed melting from him, and feels like she could move a fucking mountain.

"Can I...?" she begins.

"See me?" 

"If that's - I don't know how your secret identity works, but... we are soulmates, I guess."

"Yeah, yeah, of course." With stiff, halting movements, he pushes himself into a sitting position, then casts a cursory glance around the carriage.

"Everyone’s evacuated, I think," MJ tells him.

Spider-Man nods.

He peels off his mask.

MJ's first thought is thank God it's not a fully-grown man who just quips like a kid.

Her second is he's cute.

Her third is Spider-Man is a kid?

There's an air of anxiety to Peter's expression as if he's awaiting a negative response.

"I, I don't know what to say," she professes honestly.

"Then, uh... just don't say anything." He laughs sheepishly. "It's just me. Peter.” He hesitates, pulling at the hair at the nape of his neck. “Are you - you go to school, right?" 

"Yes, I'm a sophomore." 

"Oh! Me too." Peter's wide brown eyes flick up then down as if he's wondering whether or not to keep eye contact with her.

MJ finds herself staring unabashedly at him. His eyes are pretty dreamy, she has to admit. The way his hair settles in waves around his head, sweaty as it is, is cute too. His jawline could cut glass, and yet there's a youthful softness to his face. Also, he has dimples, and fuck are they sweet.

"We should..." she gestures to the derailed train they're still sitting in. "We should probably get out of here."

"Good plan."

After much teetering from side to side on MJ's part and a chorus of stifled grunts of pain from Peter, they make it to their feet. Screwing up her courage, MJ pulls his arm over her shoulders and allows him to lean on her.

"Thanks.” He coughs a little, then says defensively, "Usually I come out of patrol looking cooler than this." 

MJ has seen the YouTube videos. That’s mostly untrue.

"Mm-hm.”

"I do."

The atmosphere between them lightens a little, to what MJ suspects is the relief of them both.

They exit the train tracks, Peter securing them to the floor with his sticky feet - MJ has so many questions to ask about that - and her helping him hobble along. The further they move, the more Peter seems to loosen up, too, extricating his arm from her shoulders. Perks of being a superhero, she supposes.

"Hey, let me walk you home," he offers earnestly when they're back on solid ground.

Oh, so he's one of those guys.

"I can take myself home. I don't know about you, though."

"I'll be alright." He shrugs, but the motion is punctuated with a wince.

"No, c'mon. Let's upend the patriarchy. I'll take you home."

Spider-Man seems dumbfounded by that. "I, uh, I - okay."

"Okay."

"I should, I should change first. If that's alright."

"Where do you usually change?" 

Behind a dumpster in the nearest alleyway, it transpires.

He's only been out of her view for a moment when she hears, "MJ?" 

"What is it?" 

"Is there, like... a Walmart or something nearby?" 

"What for?" 

"I don't have any clothes."

She can't help it: some irreversible dam is burst in her at the embarrassed remark, and she bowls herself over in a sudden fit of laughing.

She laughs out the speeding train, the warm rushes of connection between her and Peter - who is also fucking Spider-Man, she's never gonna get over that - the taste of unbridled fear in her mouth, the day of school she's going to mark herself absent for because her entire life has just been derailed, like the train, but - she hopes - in a wholly more miraculous way.

"MJ?" Peter asks again, his voice tinged with amusement this time in response to her impromptu bouts of laughter.

It's just the cherry on top of the cake when he steps back into view and - he's done something ridiculous to the suit so it hangs all baggily on him as if he's lost three hundred pounds in under a minute.

"What the hell did you do to the suit?" she wheezes. She's crying. There are literal tears leaking from her eyes. As hard as she tries to stifle her bursts of cackling, they won't abate on her terms.

Peter looks down at his loose suit, glances back up, then sputters out a laugh himself.

There they are, laughing like maniacs in a gross alleyway. MJ couldn't expect anything else from a day like this.

Then the suit begins to slip from Peter's shoulders. He doesn't appear to notice, lost in his laughing, until it's around his ankles.

Michelle bites her lip. "Um."

Logically, she shouldn't be surprised, but Peter is ripped. And yes, that makes her mind white out for a little while.

She's an advocate for choosing partners based on their personality over any physical attributes, of course. Of course.

But - come on.

"Oh. Uh." Peter fumbles to pull the slippery fabric over himself, his face reddening, and all of a sudden MJ feels bad for ogling him.

Oh, Christ. Awkward.

"There's a store just across the road. Um - yeah. I'll go."

She storms through the aisles and picks out the first t-shirt and pants she sees. At least she has the presence of mind to stop by the medical aisle and grab a tube of muscle relief cream.

When she arrives back in the alleyway, Peter’s suit is skin tight again, suggesting the shape of muscles she’d seen in all their glory just a few minutes ago.

Oh my God, stop being so fucking horny!

As he shakes out the outfit, Peter shuts his mouth with an audible click.

“Oh, that’s - you, that’s an… interesting choice…”

She squints suspiciously. What have you done this time, MJ? “I just grabbed whatever.”

By way of an answer, he holds the t-shirt against his chest so the text across it faces her. I’m a slut for science! it proclaims.

She recoils. “I - I didn’t--”

“It’s, uh, it’s fine, you paid - I like science - I’ll just… okay.”

Eager to avoid further conversation on the matter, she moves away and sits with her back to Peter to give him some privacy.

“So,” she begins, leaning back against the dumpster - she just almost died, give her a break - “We’re soulmates.”

“We are.”

“Isn’t that crazy?”

“Yuh-huh.”

A moment of silence ensues, broken only by a muted hiss of pain from Peter which is followed by a whispered declaration of “Shit, this is gonna ache tomorrow.”

“So - you’ve been Spider-Man for…”

“About a year.”

“And you’re a sophomore.”

Peter’s tone becomes bafflingly flippant. “I mean - the stuff I do, it’s not, like, boom, ka-pow, massive explosions, Avenger stuff. I’m pretty down on the ground. I’m not just risking my neck all the time. It’s--”

“You literally just risked your neck.”

“Okay, well, that was an… outlier.”

MJ likes to cut right to the truth, and today is no different. Drumming her thumbs against her pulled-up knees, she states, “You know, not to make a bad first impression, but you’re really boneheaded about this.”

He takes her comment the wrong way - understandably; she can be pretty blunt. “I, um - ouch?”

MJ realises she might have to be gentler around Peter. There’s a softness, a receptibility to him that’s both alluring and terrifying. If she leaves too sharp of an imprint on him, chews him up and spits him out in the way that she seems to do to everyone around her, she fears it could hurt him for good.

“Because you don’t give yourself enough credit,” she corrects.

“Oh.” There’s a blistering brightness to the syllable. “Uh, thanks.” He pauses, then changes tack. “Are - are you alright? After everything today?”

“Actually? Yeah. I’m alright. Thanks.”

“That’s good,” he returns simply.

Swallowing her fear and cutting to the chase, she sighs. “I just - we should think about how this is going to work.”

“Yeah, for sure.” 

He emerges from around the dumpster then, clad in the I’m a science slut! t-shirt but seemingly unaware of it as he comes to a halt and proceeds to stare dopily at her.

“Peter.”

He just smiles, completely sincere. “Sorry, I’m just - I’m really lucky.”

“You sap.” 

She slaps his arm lightly, but can’t help the grin that tugs at the corners of her mouth.

He spots her expression instantly and inclines his head towards it. “You like it.”

“You’re off-topic,” she gripes mildly.

Borne out of the alleyway by a shared instinct, they make the slow journey side-by-side towards what MJ presumes is Peter’s place. Unless her soulmate also happens to be a creepy kidnapper.

“Well, what do you want to say?” Peter prompts her, his quirky left eyebrow climbing up his forehead. Fuck that eyebrow. Fuck the cute, spiky little thing.

“Well…” 

The uncomfortable subjects are bound to come up at some point, so MJ reasons that it’s best to lay down some rules before they start walking blindly into anything. Okay, she doesn’t reason. Reason is pretty far out the window now. She kind of just wants to know. “I know we’re soulmates, but that doesn’t - automatically mean we’re dating, right?”

He’s quick to assuage her fears, even through a fit of stuttering that MJ does not find endearing in the slightest. Not at all. “No. No. Of course not. I’d never wanna…” He looks over at her then as if trying to figure her out. “Well, not if you don’t want to.”

Boys.

That’s unfair, though, because Peter is - and MJ cringes to say it, but it’s true - he’s not like other boys.

“I just feel like it would be too fast,” she admits.

“Yeah. That makes sense. You’re not…?”

“Dating anyone? Nah.”

Although she’s had a shot with both boys and girls, dating hasn’t ever really been her thing. Her soulmate, however? That’s a different thing altogether.

“I’m not. I’m really not. I’m the opposite of taken. I’m the most single guy you’ll ever meet. I’m as much of a virgin as it gets.” 

His eyes widen. 

“I’m saying way too much.”

MJ decides to be merciful and save him from his own motormouth. “How far is your place?” she offers, rolling her shoulders back and forth to relieve the dregs of tension lingering there after the train incident.

“Just a couple minutes. The train actually took me in the right direction.” 

She sneaks glances over at him, trying to drink in the way he scuffs his sneakers rhythmically against the sidewalk, the small smiles he shoots her, the curling lock of hair that hangs over his forehead, the deep pools of his eyes, trying to get a good picture of Peter Parker before they’re parted.

Peter opens and shuts his mouth a few times; she stays quiet and lets him speak in his own time.

“MJ - I know literally nothing about you. I mean, I’m sure - I, I hope we’ll have time to get to know each other - but, just… tell me something about yourself?”

There’s an undertone akin to desperation in his words, and it makes MJ uneasy.

“Is this an icebreaker?” she deadpans, hoping to put him at ease.

Peter just makes a face at her. He’s relaxed a little in the half-hour MJ has spent around him; whether that’s from an eventual lack of near-death situations or a growing confidence around her, she can’t quite tell, but it’s less stressful for the both of them.

“My name is MJ. I’m sixteen years old… the last book I read was Of Human Bondage… I’m the chair of Debate Club at Brooklyn Visions. That’s where I’m at school. And I… I like Deacon Blue.”

“Deacon what?”

“Yeah, nobody’s heard of them. They’re a band. Actually - wanna hear them?”

Peter nods his enthusiastic assent; within a minute she has her phone microphone pressed to both of their ears, their heads inches apart as they travel down the sidewalk, listening to one of her all-time favourite songs.

Down in the streets, they're walking and kissing

All he sees are the lights in her eyes

She feels his hands, smells his warm breath

Looking up, all she sees is the night sky

Peter’s hand comes up to steady the phone and brushes against her own fingers, inciting a slight twinge from the mark at her wrist. It’s a stupid moment, one MJ’s seen and scorned in countless rom-coms, but in the moment it’s something stupendously, ludicrously thrilling.

She chalks it down to the chemical element of the soulmate tie.

He saw her standing there alone

She saw him walking, the whole town behind him

He loved to whisper gently to her

She heard the whole world shouting and screaming

She can’t help but sing along to the chorus under her breath. Peter’s face is close enough to hers that she swears she can feel his smile.

Oh, since first we met

My dark sweet silhouette

Oh, nothing, nothing you forget

In your heart, my dark, my--

“Oh, wait! My apartment. We just passed it.”

They’re mostly silent in the elevator. There’s everything and nothing to say. Why start on everything when they only have seconds left?

Only once they’re hovering in front of Peter’s apartment door does MJ pluck up the courage to speak into the silence Peter seems unable to break.

“I got you this,” she blurts, handing him the cream. 

From the way his face lights up, you’d think she’d handed him a bushel of stars, not some lousy muscle lotion. “Thank you,” he says softly; she finds herself arrested by those earnest brown eyes.

“You know what, I told myself I’d never do this with someone I just met, but - can I kiss you?”

Peter falls - yes, he actually falls - against the wall a little at that. He goldfishes a little again in that almost panicked way of his then manages to stutter out: “Yes, uh, yes. Please.”

Their first kiss is - well, MJ goes right back to her accustomed distrust of rom-coms, because it’s an awkward, overly hesitant bumping-together of their lips. It’s… not actively awful, she supposes, although the impact of their faces colliding causes them both to flinch back a little and then close back in which almost physically makes her cringe, because once they figure it out a little flutter ignites in the core of her chest, which she presumes is a good thing. She gets the feeling, too, that there are better kisses to come. It’s just… a little disappointing.

“I think we gotta work on that,” Peter chuckles ruefully.

MJ just twists up her mouth and nods.

“Okay, so… I’ve, I’ve gotta go, I guess.”

“Yeah. Take care of yourself.” MJ doesn’t know who is controlling her speech right now, making her sound caring and sincere and nice, but she’s not mad about it.

“You too. Maybe take a break from, uh, from public transport.”

They share a confidential smile.

Peter opens the door and MJ instantly gets a glimpse of the bright little apartment that belongs to her soulmate, complete with a gorgeous middle-aged woman who starts up from the central couch.

“There you are!” she cries, enfolding him in her arms, and MJ feels an unidentifiable ache settle deep inside her.

“Sorry I’m late,” he grins into her embrace, which is eventually relinquished in favour of a puzzled once-over, the woman picking at his unfamiliar clothes. “Did you see the news?”

“You mean, did I see you strong-manning an entire subway train? I definitely saw that. But I didn’t see this young woman who you’ve… left at the door?”

“Oh, uh, May? This, this is, she’s--”

“Peter?” she says, rounding on him with a widening smile.

“No, she’s just - this is MJ.”

MJ waves sheepishly.

“I’m Peter’s aunt. Why don’t you come in, honey?”

“Oh, no, I’m alright. I just thought - Peter, should I--” aware that her next words might incite further embarrassing reactions from Peter’s aunt, she meets his eye in a silent plea for him to come back over instead. “I should get your number, right? So we can - keep being... friends.”

“Yeah.” Eyes lighting up, Peter grabs a pen from the table and presses it to his skin. “I always wanted to see if this worked.”

And sure enough, one thing goes right for them: scrawled digits begin to materialise on the same section of MJ’s forearm.

“Cool,” Peter murmurs just as she says, “Dope.”

“Don’t you dare abuse this privilege,” she adds.

“Only if you don’t either.”

“I will not have dicks drawn on me without my knowing consent.”

“Yes, ma’am.” His face quirks into a grin. "Oh. I should pay you back."

"It's nothing."

"I should, though."

He's stubborn too.

"Really, Peter. It's fine. I don't want you to pay me back."

He deliberates over her answer for a moment, but her insistence wins out. “Okay, well, yeah. That’s… it? I guess?”

“I’ll call you,” she tells him, and for once in her life, she’s not being at all sarcastic.

“Awesome,” he breathes.

They’re both smiling as he gently shuts the door.

What an insane day.

But a split second before MJ heads towards the elevator again and goes home to sleep for a day, she hears a raised conversation starting up from inside Peter’s apartment and can’t help but dawdle by the door a while longer.

“You’re suddenly dating? What did you do, pick her up from the trainwreck?”

“I mean - we’re not - and, and I didn’t just…”

“Peter.”

“It’s not like that, okay! I promise nothing weird is going on. She’s, she’s, uh, my soulmate.”

Silence.

“Holy shit.”

“I know.”

“Where’s the mark?”

“Just here. It literally appeared while I was on the train. I didn’t know what to do - May, I need all your advice, and I need it now. Because, like - how do you kiss people? Should I text her back straight away or am I supposed to be cool about it? Should we go on dates? Where do I take her? What happens if--”

“Okay, okay, slow down.”

“I just - I really wanna do it right. She’s amazing.”

That’s enough eavesdropping, MJ thinks.

She exits the apartment block with a shit-eating grin on her face she has no wish to conceal.

Right now, she thinks she likes the spontaneity of life.

[dr-gloom]

FandersPrideMeetup Week 2: Representation. You Are Not Alone

Week 2 of @fander-pride-meetup: Representation- Draw/Write/Edit/Express yourself with the Sides/TSCharacters to represent your LGBTQ+ experiences!

A/N: So this is basically just the story of my first Pride (which I went to this year) told through the sides with a few small tweaks. I chose Roman cause I made a post about how important it is to some of us to see Aro!Roman content and a lot of people have agreed with me so here we are

Fandom: Sanders’ Sides

Pairing: none

Words: 1,335

Summary: Roman’s both excited and nervous for his first Pride. With all the discourse online, and so many people telling him he doesn’t belong at Pride because he’s aroace, he can’t help but let his imagination run away with him. What if a TERF comes up to him and starts something? What if a fight breaks out? What if he’s kicked out of Pride because he isn’t “oppressed enough”?

Tags/Warnings: aroace Roman, trans Roman, genderfluid Roman, Pride, anxieties, genderfluid Remy, trans Patton, Patton is pre-T and Roman and Remy are on T, mentions of top surgey/post-op

Read it on AO3

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Roman groans, the hot June sun beating down on them and making them regret dressing for the aesthetic. This was their first-ever Pride event, and they’d wanted to look badass for the parade they were marching in. They were wearing their tye-dye trans shirt they’d made a year ago, their aro flag over their shoulders and dark wash skinny jeans that were tucked into their new military-grade combat boots. They’d jokingly called them their “TERF-kicking boots”, getting plenty of supportive high fives from the other Kaiser volunteers they were marching with.

They fanned themselves with the paper fan someone had handed them while they all waited to march, saying for probably the tenth time that morning, “It’s too damn hot.” They turned to their friend Remy, who was fanning themselves as well, though they were dressed in more weather-appropriate in short shorts and rainbow socks. “I wish I remembered my water.” Remy pats them on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry babe, I’ve got water if you need any.”

“I brought some frozen water bottles! You want one?”

Roman turns around to look at the shorter man behind them. Patton, they think his name is? “Oh uh, sure! Thank you Patton.” Patton smiles and nods, handing Roman a frozen water bottle that they immediately press against their neck. They groan at the cool mercy on their skin, making Remy and Patton laugh.

                                    ___________________________

“Woooooooooo~!” Patton cries, along with the rest of their group and the audience they pass by. Roman and Remy share a look, laughing.

“Wee-snaaaaaw~!” Roman cries, laughing at how pitchy their voice sounds. Not even five minutes in, Roman and Remy realized that they could no longer “woo” loudly since the T was changing their voice. Maybe in a year or two when it stopped, but for now?

“Wee-snaaawww~!” Remy crows, immediately cackling at the confused looks they received.

Roman unties the aro flag from around their shoulders, the fabric doing nothing to cool them off. Instead they hold it out in front of themselves, trying not to pay too much attention to the audience. The same thoughts that had been plaguing their mind for days come to the front of their brain. What if someone sees them carrying this flag and harasses them? What if they get pushed? Their chest is still healing, they can’t afford to get in a fight.

“Woooooo~!” Patton cries loudly right behind them, silencing their thoughts. Roman laughs shakily and looks around. They’ll be fine.

They aren’t alone anymore.

“I love your flag!!!”

Roman beams.

                                  _____________________________

When they reach the end of the line and everyone starts dispersing, Roman takes Remy’s hand to make sure they aren’t separated in the crowd. The two of them, along with Patton and his mom, find the nearest shade and settle down for a moment. Roman lays out their flag in the grass and bodily collapses on top of it, laying on their stomach. It’s only then that they remember that they’re in fact healing from top surgery, and ow that hurts, why did they do that?

Roman sits up with a pained hiss, a hand over their left pec where it feels like they just got punched. Yeah, they fucked up. In their defense, they were super tired, hot, and possibly dehydrated.

“You okay, babe?” Remy frowns at them, hunching over a little to look Roman in the eyes. Roman does their best to give Remy a reassuring smile. “I forgot I’m not supposed to lay on my stomach. I feel like I just got punched in the tit.” Remy gives a sympathetic hiss, their face scrunched up in pain. “You good though?”

“I don’t know, it hurts like a bitch.”

Paton frown from beside them. “Maybe you should check it?”

Roman looks around. Lift their shirt, in public, and take their binder off? Their heart beats a little faster, and they have to remind themselves that it’s fine. This is Pride, they don’t have boobs anymore, and this is a health concern. Roman nods, lifting their shirt and pulling the velcro aside to take off their binder.

Everything looks the same; almost-flat chest, tape covered stitches… Roman prods at their sensitive flesh. It seems kind of tough, but that’s probably just swelling, right? They pointedly ignore a passing girl going, “Oh, gross” and put their binder back on. After fixing their shirt, they smile at Remy and Patton. “It’s fine. Why don’t we head to the festival?”

                                     __________________________

“They’re blocking this entrance, too?” Roman grouses, starting to get really annoyed. And yeah, they get why people are protesting. The city had taken away their ban on uniformed cops at Pride and tons of people were pissed, but… “They do realize the only people they’re hurting by blocking all the entrances is their fellow LGBT, right? Like, we had no say in this shit, hell, I don’t want uniformed officers here either, but I still want to have fun.”

Remy nods at their side with a frown. “This is getting kinda redic. We’ve been walking around for twenty minutes now looking for an opening.”

Roman holds their hand out and Remy takes it without a second thought, letting Roman lead them through the crowd. The two keep walking, passing by a cop who was talking with some other people looking for an entrance. As soon as they round the corner, they see a large black woman dragging a knife back and forth over the zipties keeping the fence up around the festival. Roman slows to a stop, Remy at their side watching curiously. The ziptie snaps and the woman pulls at the fence, but it doesn’t move much. By this point, they’re starting to draw a bit of a crowd. Roman speaks up. “See that thing on the ground? You gotta pull the fence up- there you go.” They grin as she lifts the fence, freeing it from the stand and pushing it open. Roman rushes forward with Remy and the rest of the crowd, everyone spilling through the gap like water on a sinking ship.

Roman is practically giggling with glee, their steps almost like little hops with the sudden surge of excitement in their veins. They look back at Remy, who’s got a matching grin on their face. As they pass the metal storage crates and get closer to the festival they catch up to the woman, calling out a “Thank you!” and running off.

                                     ___________________________

Roman walks away from the stall pouting, dragging their feet.

“Not here either?” Remy asks, but pity and amusement in their eyes.

“No! You’d think one booth would have more flags than just- just the basic L-G-B-T! That’s so basic! What the hell!”

Remy pats their shoulder sympathetically. “Babe, we’ve been walking around for like… An hour. You’re hungry, you’re out of water, and your feet hurt, yeah?” Roman nods. “Then let’s get something to drink at least and then maybe we’ll go.” Roman sighs and nods again.

“Yeah, okay, let’s go.”

They’d gotten their drinks and walked around once more to make sure they saw everything, stopping at at least half the booths to spin their free-stuff wheels. Roman saw a girl walking around with an ace flag draped over her shoulders like a cape and their face lit up.

“I love your flag!!!”

                                    _____________________________

“So how did it go?” Roman’s mother’s voice flows from the speakers of their car. Roman grins. “It was pretty good. The parade was really fun, and I got some free stuff. Met some really cool people. There was a guy there dressed as gay Satan! It was so awesome, he was like, rainbow everything. I got some good pictures.”

Roman’s mother laughs. “I’m glad you had fun. I’ll see you at home?”

“Yeah mom, see you at home.” Roman smiles as they hang up, reflecting on their day. They had no idea what they’d been so worried about. No one had bothered them, or questioned why they were there. In fact, they weren’t the only aroace there!

They weren’t alone anymore.

[jq37]

Ok, a few Unsleeping City asks: 1-Thoughts on new ep? 2-CAMBRIDGE SANTALYTICA 3-The gang tries to meet up for drinks

**spoilers for mutant santa melee**

(I’ll respond to the other two parts of the ask in another post!)

We are back with our first battle episode of the season and our first chance to see the NY Crew really show their skills.

Ricky trying to keep Sophie's reckless ass safe because he has big golden retriever energy is great.

I can't decide if everyone taking this first fight more seriously than the first fight in FH is because they remember how badly they got womped last time and didn't want a repeat or because they were just playing older, more experienced characters.

I hate everything about these mutant Santas and I want it on the record. I mean, they're great from a game design perspective but I hate them.

"Mr. March, I'm gonna save you!"/"My name is Rick, by the way."

I thought it was funny that Ricky and Sophie both happened to hit the exact wrong type of Santa for their skillset for their first attack, back to back.  

Fig's Bardic Inspiration move was to do flirty winks at everyone. Misty's is to give big, theatrical compliments. I love it.  

Ricky dropping gun safety warnings mid MUTANT SANTA FIGHT.

"Fucking come out of your stupid cocoon! I know you're not a butterfly!"

I love it when rolls are happening at the table and Lou is loudly like, "This is terrible. I hate this." He did it all through the family rescue rolls in FH too.

"It's fine. It's fucking new York. What do you expect?"/"The NY that I live in and the NY that you live in are very different my friend." That's the real NY experience.

Sophie going, "F the minions, I'm going for the obvious boss Monster, I'll take the attacks," is such a good character defining moment. Also, the action-y music abruptly cutting off as the door shut was hilarious.

So Pete is hearing mysterious whispers and Sophie is hearing mysterious whispers and I'm Concerned, especially since it's the two newbies and it's not necessarily significant but it could be so I'm just mentioning it and tabling it until I have more info to speculate.

Misty turning to Kingston and saying, "Just like old times!" makes me want to know every single detail of their history together before the new kids showed up.

"Santa's my friend and he's fucking dead."

I like the homebrew rule for Pete's wild magic surge which makes the odds of one increase every time it doesn't happen because it ups the chaos factor and makes it inevitable rather than just a possibility which I bet has the potential to create some real tension in a long, drawn out fight.

The way Brennan kept describing Pete's arm as peeling like a banana when he used his magic grossed me out so much so, if that was the goal, you did it. Thanks, I hate it.

The, "Guess I'll just die," meme but it's Pete going, "Guess I'll just use this evil magic."

"Darling I love to be naughty. It's my favorite thing!" (Misty's chaos potential increases with every line she says).

"SANTA GETYCHO ASS UP." (Flawless bedside manner)

I forgot how fragile lower level characters can be! I'm glad so many of the party members have at least some healing spells (I think everyone but Pete and Sophie) as opposed to FH when it was basically just Kristen I think.

"He just gives us a PS4 and that's it."

Sophie monkey bars up Giant Eldritch Horror Santa's exposed ribcage and upercut-kick him because stripping Emily of her magic doesn't strip her of her creativity or flair.

"Darling, with me every day is a show. My life is a show!"

Sophie, upon being complimented by Misty: Oh my God. My new friends are awesome.

The idea of a dirty rat man summoning a unicorn is hilarious to me.

Pete's first Wild Magic surge just restores his sorcery points, which is great as a player but, as a viewer, I really hope we get to see some bombastic nonsense soon. Also, Brennan had the wild magic surge, in story, be the result of Pete's magic reacting to Kingston's, which I thought was a cool way to justify game mechanics.

"You're the opposite of Santa!"

Smites are GOOD you guys.

Sophie catches Santa and and Ricky (who has just killed the boss Santa) takes a selfie with them. Bless. Also, Sophie refuses to put down Santa for the rest of the fight.

Misty has an umbrella with a KNIFE inside of it which I LOVE.

The fight ends a little anticlimactically because, once you bum rush the boss, all that's left to do is clean up the minions.

Misty mentioned having Shoes of Titania and I wanna know if that's an actual item with a mechanical effect and what its stats are if so.

Ally realizing they only some of the Santas explode on impact basically at the end of the fight was classic DnD.

Santa sending people into his bag was giving me big Naddpod vibes.

"What the fuck happened?" --Santa, 2019

I don't like the implication of the gestating tadpoles with the Santa hats. Like, is Santa's hat organic? Is it just a part of his body? No thank you.

Pete just lying to Santa's face for absolutely no reason. Incredible.

Santa and Misty talking shop, just because, was such a fun 30 seconds of RP. I love RP that exists just to exist (and, sidenote, I also love when it comes back around and becomes relevant like in Naddpod (14 seconds of absolute silence...chicken)).  

"Santa, don't give this boy an egg."

"A very fancy egg for a very not fancy boy. But a good boy nonetheless."

Ricky on Santa: It would be crazy if you weren't real because you're such a good person. (Zac struggling to get through that was his second best moment of the ep).

Pete gives Santa a bag of coke and tries to dip when she sees cops because, magic or not, that's Who He Is As A Person.

Santa: Pete, your soul is in jeopardy. (lol, Santa knew his name on sight which, of course he did. It's Santa. Duh.)

CENTAUR HORSE COP. I love that as much as I hate the mutant Santas.

Ricky, horrified: Am I on the bad list?/Santa, who is still processing that Ricky never stopped believing in Santa:Ricky, no. (That was my fave Ricky line of the ep, in case you were wondering)

So, in this world, Christian (Catholic specifically) figures explicitly exist, which is good to know. Also, in last episode and this one, the grey faced child mentioned Lazarus which I thought was just a stylistic name choice but that's a name w/ specific Biblical connotations (that's the dude Jesus brought back from the dead for those not up on your New Testament) and it still might be irrelevant, but it's one more thing for me to tack up on my conspiracy board.  

"Santa, are you Cambrdige Analytica?"

Anyway, Heaven and Hell use the naughty and nice list to figure out who goes where so they're not being redundant which is wild because that means Santa essentially gets to decide morality for the rest of the world and, as of now, Pete is super going to hell based on the look Santa gave him when they were talking about who's on the naughty list.

Santa's list has been stolen which is, como se dice, Bad. The specifics aren't clear, but it's super not good. Also, Santa lets the group know that they might wanna figure out what's going on with Pete before he chucks deuces and goes home. So it seems like we'll be seeing him again.

I wonder what the timeline for this season is gonna be. Like, Christmas seems like an obvious time for a big, climactic setpiece, but it'll have to be a really compressed timeline if that's what they're aiming for. Compressed compared to Fantasy High at least.

Sophie, illegally cracking a Mike's Hard in Central Park in front of a cop: Um, we're magic. (She gets a ticket immediately)

That's it for this week! Next week the mob (the pixie mob maybe?) and Siobahn has awesome hair!

[westcoastbroadway1443]

Be More Notes: my very long ramblings on BMC as I finally listen to the whole thing

Ok!  I’m finally doing it!  Now that the cast album is out I’m going to really give all of Be More Chill a listen, try to put the things that annoy me about the show aside, and give it a fair chance.  And have decided to do running commentary here for the nobody who gives a shit lol.  Going in I wanna say I’ve heard 4 full songs and random bits of other songs from the original soundtrack.  And I’ll be listening now to the OBC album plus watching a b**tlg, I’m not totally sure when it took place I just know Will Roland is in it so at the very least New York.  Keep in mind whatever I think of this show, if I end up hating it, if you like it you’re right.  My opinion in no way invalidated anybody else’s or is above anyone else’s in my eyes, frankly I don’t enjoy not liking things, it just means I don’t get to come to the party and that’s not fun.  So I might be poking fun at the show sometimes but if this speaks to you, that is fucking awesome!  Also I’m old now and I guess no longer the target audience for stuff like this.  

Spoilers for those who haven’t watched the show and don’t want to know stage stuff because I’ll be commenting on that.  This ended up being really long, eh.  

More Than Survive -ok this song I’ve heard before, and it both turned me off the show and also made me respect the hell out of it, because much like I give a salute to Black Mirror having the balls to make pig sex their pilot, I salute a musical that starts with jerking off -So far like Roland a little more than the previous guy.  From what I’ve gathered from clips, while that dude is hella talented and cute as a button I kind of buy Roland as a terrified, desperate, frustrated high school kid more   -Man I really do dig the hell out of the score and there is no denying this is catchy but some of these lyrics are so cringe -WHY IS A TEEN IN 2019 REFERENCING JOE PESCI?! -Ok I love the idea of a short bully calling somebody “tall ass” -I do like Jeremy’s body language better in this one. Also does he vocally remind anyone else of Max from Goofy Movie?  Maybe this song just reminds me  of “After Today” for no reason. -“super pimp” “mac daddy game”....OK!  I’m going to try not to list every time I cringe.  I just have questions -You don’t  want to be Clooney...high school child in 2019 is Clooney really your reference for cool?  Sorry I just struggle with this stuff because I keep hearing how this show is so in touch with kids these days but I just see:

-lol Michael came on and people went apseshit in the audience.  All my nitpicks aside I bet this room probably has some great energy. -..Michael the clerk at 7/11 doesn’t pour your slushie, it’s self serve.  Are you trying to seem cool to Jeremy right now? -Aah the boyfriend backpacks.  I know of this ship -Yeah Christine brings the flutes!!!  I was a flute player, we never get love -HAHA when Christine is doing her weird ass dance, in the recording I’m watching somebody right in front of the person recording just went “I don’t get this show”.  Like me too darlin, but you got 2 hours left so suck it up -Oh but sir, check the playbill.  The story is indeed about you -in summation this song kind of encapsulates everything I feel about this show, good performances and catchy as fuck and musically interesting and a lot of me asking “why”.

Play Rehearsal   -Well Christine is adorable -wow wait what?  wtf was that weird self harm comment???  Are we just gonna skip that??? -Ok I was a band kid in HS so I guess I don’t get this level of extra.  Band rehearsal is just tuning and then fucking around until somebody makes you play Bach -...is Christine ok??? -Ok I think at least for now I may hate her.  But I like that Jeremy likes her, likes her passion and such.  I approve of her conceptually!  I just don’t wanna be around her -I thought play rehearsal was gay, Rich?!  WHAT YOU DOIN AT PLAY REHEARSAL RICH?! -...I mean I’ve seen Romeo and Juliet as a zombie wasteland movie, I would watch Midsummer zombies

More Than Survive Reprise -”least I didn’t have a breakdown and have to go the nurse” Ok fair, I can relate to that high school experience -this set is kind of working for me, basic but fun and the floor is neat -I know high school bullies are a thing I guess? But I always just saw them in movies?  Now Middle School bullies were legit and terrible and I got the shit kicked out of me, but by HS I feel like everybody was too into their own shit to care much about anyone else??  Maybe that was just my school -Will Roland’s body language is real good in this show

The Squip Song -Oh!  Surprise Rich lisp. Creative way to show how this thing alters you -..ok now we know about Rich’s dick size.  I mean hon your short, maybe your penis is just proportionate?   -DO I DETECT SOME THEREMIN IN THIS ORCHESTRATION?!   Gimme all the theremin!   -Ok so the squip made him be an asshole?  Does he secretly want to be buddies with Jeremy? -Ok what the fuck are the people in the background doing here?!? -I know people ship Michael and Jeremy but I feel like Rich kinda wants to jump that tall ass??

Two Player Game -Ok the little sign for the game that came up was cute -These guys are kinda cute, even if I wish they’d tone down Michael’s “I’M QUIRKY!!  YOU GET IT?!?” shtick -That is accurate!  Y’all will be cool in college and I don’t see that brought up often -This is the first time I’ve found the choreography fun   -...why is this dad allergic to pants?? -ah.  Depression=no pants.  And now I get why Jeremy’s so desperate not to stay as he is.  Well points for making it not just about the girl -awww Michael is his bae -bro I’ve heard Loser Geek Whatever, you’re tellin lies right now to your buddy -LOL!  WTF IS THIS WINDOWS SCREENSAVER OF A VIDEO GAME?!? -oh wow dancin went off the rails here at the end

Squip Enters -Mountain Dew?  Well, better than Surge I guess.   -Ok the Ecto Cooler line legit made me laugh.  And I guess I could come down on the show for making Michael psyched about a drink that came out before he was born, but I have a pretty intense Crystal Pepsi obsession and that shit came out when I was maybe 4?  So I get it Michael, you go enjoy your liquid ghosts -well that squip thing doesn’t look fun -Oooooh Ok Keanu is like factory setting, alright I’ll accept this.  Though I will say this show would be 35% better if he was dressed like Keanu from Bill and Ted

Be More Chill Prt 1 -Hey stop shitting on Jeremy.  I think I kinda like him -wow Keanu, I didn’t think you’d be so mean -I mean everyone chanting “everything about you sucks” is just how peeps with anxiety feel constantly.  Eminem shirt ain’t gonna fix that -”Jerry-me” ok Will Roland is kind of making this work for me.   -Him repeating everything the squip said is a fun little sequence.  Like I dig this conceptually, scifi musicals are rare and can be neat - Lol the hate who they hate thing is pretty accurate

Do You Wanna Ride? -hey Jeremy what about Christiiiiine

Be More Chill Part 2 -the beginning of this song broke me a little.  Hey!  I’m feelin a thing! -this song is pretty fun!  It works!   -though the cast of like 10 people that just keep putting on different wigs make it feel like a high school play or a starkid production

Sync Up -ok so now I know I’m watching previews?  Because sync up isn’t here -I do think this song is a really good addition.  I mean it’s not like a stand out fantastic song but it does a good job getting across the themes and drives home the whole “everybody has problems” thing too which I like -Ok..dairy line was weird.  

A Guy I Could Kinda Be Into -Ok the weird girl fighting stuff about Jake is unpleasant and sort of unnecessary -a squip gives you a deep voice and the ability to kinda do accents.  Cool -ooo this is catchy, this is gonna make the spotify playlist -the goofy background hearts are cute.  I still don’t know why she’s into Jake or why she’s friends with Jeremy or if they should be together since legit the only thing she thinks they have in common is theater which he doesn’t care about..but this song is still cute -lol squips understand friend zone

Upgrade -DID THIS SHOW JUST KILL EMINEM?! -How did the squip know that?!  Does Eminem have a squip??  I mean it kinda makes sense.. -Don’t you see Jerbear?! The key to popularity is in this girl’s vagina!  Happy they cut the “I’ll tenderly guide you just take me inside you” thing, little creepy -Why did Jake make a kicking motion to illustrate cricket?  I’m like 85% sure Jake doesn’t know what cricket is... -the “feel all the feels” like is a little goofy but I really like the rewrite for this song, showing some depth of character.  Good job, show!  And I’m seeing some chemistry between these two, but I don’t know if I’m meant to? -Oh no!  The whole “you looked at me” thing from Brooke was so sweet and sad.  And the player two thing.  Yeah this OG version of this song can go fuck off, the rewrite is a really good tune.  I’ll admit the original maybe built up the horror a little, the squip sounds more threatening coming in at the end but I like where there going making this about everyone and not just Jeremy

Loser Geek Whatever -Squip blocked Michael??  You’re a dick, Keanu Reeves -I didn’t love this song when I first heard the single but hearing the version on the album and the stripped down piano version, I really really like it.  Gives me some of those old geek feels from back in the day -sort of surprise by how little is happening on stage though?  I sort of assumed something was happening as the song built?  But nope, just Will rocking his wee heart out -LOL!  What is Squip’s new outfit???

Halloween -Ah, it’s this show Big Fun.  This is a lot catchier than Big Fun though -I went to exactly one of these kinds of parties in HS, just replace Halloween with punks after a rock show and add a lot more drugs.  I didn’t hide in a bathroom but I did hide next to the stairs until my mom came and got me.  Memories!!  You know what this show is succeeding I suppose, it’s making me have HS feels -...is Jake dressed as Thomas Jefferson? -Jenna you’re too cute for that costume.  You should get to wear something sexy too!  Unless you just dig clowns in which case enjoy yourself hon -Ooooooh Prince, I get it -this is not this show’s fault at all but I struggle with dancing in shows.  I mean the title of my blog is The Girl Who Used to Hate Musicals because I did, and while I love them now extended dancing sequences still take me out of a show real fast.  I know I’m in the minority here -...what the fuck is that weird fuzzy thing with the big teeth -Hot damn!  Go Rich!  Dancin fool

Do You Wanna Hang? -I don’t like any part of this plot line... -Ok!  Didn’t realized she was dressed like a “sexy baby” so the diaper line sort of horrified me.  I mean it still does!  I just understand it now

Michael in the Bathroom -hey the bathtub!  Ok I know enough to know what happens now -Jeremy why you gotta be so mean -I mean what is there to say, great song.  I wondered if they’d change anything for the new recording and I dig the arrangement, especially the stripped down acoustic guitar and piano parts!! Also as a lady who maybe once or twice since discovering this song has gotten tipsy and sung it karaoke-like, appreciate the slower and the higher.  It’s not a lot, just a bit, but makes it less of a struggle to match.  Thanks bro!

A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into (Reprise) -Finally!  They’re both giant doofs but I see some connection!  And I mean my roommate and I have noises we always make at each other like a call and response, so I gets it -He asked it!  So proud.  Rejected but proud of the boy, and rejected for good reasons

The Smartphone Hour -Heard part of this song before.  Really like this Jenna more than original Jenna, her performance was a little much for me -This is one of those songs where I really do feel like I’m watching a HS original production..but a good one?  Maybe cause I haven’t seen something like this on Broadway, but that’s a good thing.  Always good to see new kinds of things on Broadway -lol what is the middle of this song?!  I feel like I’m suddenly watching a cheer squad or like a John Waters inspired musical, which from what little I know of Joe Iconis I think he’d be cool with that comparison

The Pants Song -Jeremy don’t be mean to your dad! -Yipes is this the Break in a Glove or Dead Gay Son of BMC?? -....yeah it totally is -”Do you love him??” Has Jeremy’s dad finally given up on finding a girl in Jeremy’s room? -Ok ok I’m gettin the ship

The Pitiful Children -So squip just looks like this now, I thought maybe he was just being fancy for Halloween -Hot damn Jenna!  Why were we savin that voice?! -I feel like I’m missing something with these weird hand motions the squip is always, do they actually mean something? -goosestepping...alright.  Oh no Jeremy did the hand motions, I think that means a thing

The Play -Jeremy is being so creepy but he means well?  I guess?   -lol using the play to spread the squips is pretty clever -wtf red mountain dew?  Really?  You know what fuck it, discontinued drinks for the win.  Maybe my saved bottles of Crystal Pepsi will stop an apocalypse one day! -Michael’s entrance was cute, and hey he just happens to have code red.  I wish ecto cooler was what shut it off. -The glitching voice is crazy when Jeremy is fighting Michael and I love the way Jeremy is sort of bobbing up and down in fighting stance like a video game character,  Fun touch -squip is making Jeremy go all Idle Hands! -I prefer the recording version of the guys making up, the whole “I just wanted to be liked” “I just wanted to be seen” thing -the squip has to be so extra even in death

Voices in My Head -hey lispy Rich is back!  And bi now I guess? -Oh is that why people think Michael/Jeremy are a thing?  The squip blocked Rich’s bi thoughts from him and it blocked Michael from Jeremy’s vision?  I mean it would be an interesting story, I’d take it. -This might be my favorite song and I don’t really know why, I don’t super love that Jeremy still gets Christine in the end but I just love how this song sounds -I’ve never heard a character wearing pants get an applause? -improved lyrics in the Broadway version, and since it got more into the popular kids as people you can kinda see why they’d still stay friend with Jeremy -”I’ll throw you a rope home slice if you need some dope advice” like is this parody?  What is this??  Well..still my fav song despite this line.  A line they liked so much it’s the one original popular kid line they kept in the new version??? -don’t know if I see much future for these two, but Jeremy’s reaction to the kiss was cute -”Of the voices in my head the loudest one is mine” is my favorite line of the show -lol Rich’s little sneak hug.  I feel like Rich always wanted to be friends with Jeremy?  Or had a crush on him and that’s why his squip made him beat Jeremy up?  Is this pairing a thing?

Final thoughts:  This was so stupid long, nobody read this but that’s ok!  It was fun to take notes anyway.  Listening to it all, I liked it more than I thought I would, especially with the lyric changes.  I don’t know if I would like it as much if it wasn’t Will Roland, the dude just really made this character likable when he could very easily not be.  Some of the lines still bug me, there’s still a lot of cringe here but there’s also a lot of good stuff.  This show introduced me to Joe Iconis and I’m slowly falling in love with him from his other work and CANNOT WAIT for Broadway Bounty Hunter because that sounds so like my jam.  Overall I do get why people like this show, especially younger people because you can relate to the characters but maybe you want something a little peppier than DEH.   I don’t think this is a soundtrack I’m going to ever listen to all the way through, but I’m for sure grabbing a handful of songs and sticking them on my musical play list.  And when this thing goes on tour and ends up in LA, I think it would probably be worth checking out if I can, looks like a fun watch.  Though with all the young fans and internet fans if they’re smart they’re gonna record this bitch.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon FireRed Nuzlocke [Part 11]

The quest continues to beat this game using standard Nuzlocke rules and the added rule of no battling outside of Trainers. Grinding is strictly forbidden. In round I-don’t-even-know of this adventure, we head to Nugget Bridge!

Yee. haw.

-many minutes later-

Well, that’s done with. Now time to go beat up on all the Trainers hanging out near Bill’s house. Also I guess time to free Bill from the Detective Pikachu nonsense he done did to himself.

This is all going to be things we’ve done before, with me nonchalantly hoping Acorn (Pikachu) makes it up to a usable level by the end.

In the spirit of mixing it up a little, I’m going to see if Acorn can handle some of the pre-Misty trainers in her Gym. Totally not because there’s a level 17 Slowpoke up there that I want him to be able to knock flat.

First trainer beat without a fuss, Acorn grows to level 16, blah blah blah, ah. The second trainer has a Goldeen, so we’ll just come back later once we’re done with the Route 24 people. ...25?

Hell, I don’t know. I barely care at this point.

It’s 25. I do not care.

I CARE A LITTLE ACORN DON’T DIE.

Acorn does not die.

I think a piece of me does.

I’m gonna take a break from battles and catch my 24/25 stuff.

Oddish for 25 ftw!

Caught it!

Its name is Oak.

Route 24 wants us to have Weedle. As penance for missing one in Viridian Forest, I assume.

...

Acorn killed it.

Am I ever going to get both a Route 24 and a Route 25 pokemon?

[doubt]

Note how the Clefairy just disappears. Detective Pikachu’s take on this is much less dark.

Alrighty. All trainers up by Bill have been dealt with, meaning that it’s time to go forth and deal with the rest of Misty’s Gym. Acorn is level 17, Oak is level 25. Oak will take on the Goldeen the remaining trainer has. Then Acorn will have a chance against Staryu, but Oak will take on Starmie.

Acorn gets an Oran Berry, Oak gets a Persim. That Starmie’s confusion rate is the worst thing about this entire Gym.

My policy is that I have four sacrificial token pokemon in my party to spare my real team members pain. I think I’m canonically a monster.

Oki doki. The Staryu is level 18, so I think Acorn should be okay against it.

Yes! Acorn survives without a scratch.

But you are not fighting the Starmie. We do not gamble with Gym battles.

-flashbacks to Brock-

...We do not gamble with. most. Gym battles.

Oak, now level 26, against a level 21 Starmie. AKA An Abomination.

Wow.

Heeeeeeeeey, second badge get!

Time to wander down to Route 5 and catch a thing.

The thing is going to be a Meowth. Its name is Oak.

This is so much easier to do when you’re not typing down every single little thing you’re doing. I’m incredibly grateful for my past self’s logs, but I’m even more grateful that they did them so I don’t have to. Going through and not bothering with anything except the highlights is a lot more pleasant.

Not replaying Route 1 is, too.

This Butterfree Supersonicing everything in sight is less fun. The Stun Spore isn’t great either. But like everything eventually, it dies.

Step 1 of figuring out what to do about Celadon.

Step 2.

Step 3.

Wow, I’m not sure I’ve ever read this entry properly before. This is incredibly mean.

(Its name is Oak.)

And with that, we have our Vermilion City catch, and no longer have to worry about Magikarp belonging to any other route. Awesome. This is much nicer than the first time we caught a thing in this city.

Route 6 is taking too long to catch things in. We’re abandoning the attempt for now.

What we are not abandoning.

Is this insanity.

The reason I bought Repels during Left’s run, and then again during this one.

I think you can catch Diglett up to level 29 here. Oak is level 27. If I put on a Repel, things stronger than him will spawn. That should mean. I can get a ridiculously overleveled Ground pokemon for free. If true, that will help immensely.

Let’s watch as whatever happens is not that.

THERE WE GO!

The risk now is that we won’t catch it, or it will kill Oak.

Bite or Water Gun. Bite or Water Gun.

Bite for first bit.

Okay, Bite does little enough that Water Gun should be safe.

This thing knows Sand Tomb. My other fear about this arrangement is that it will have abandoned Magnitude as a move. I’m hoping I’m wrong, but even if I’m not. Level 29 Dugtrio. That’s not bad, given my options.

One more Bite, then I’ll try to catch.

It also knows Mud Slap.

-worry intensifies-

It uses Dig.

What’s the last move, Dugtrio.

FUCK YEAH.

This is probably the best thing I can currently do for this run. I would very much like for nothing bad to happen, but the fact that I can make this work is already really swell.

Her name is Bark.

Bark, you will replace Oak in the party. Now let’s see.

She’s Serious, and... yeah. No Magnitude. Because Mud Slap and Sand Tomb are so much better.

It’s okay, though. We’ll get through this by being superbly overleveled. Squee. We also now have something to eat Attack IVs up for breakfast, so this is just. There is nothing bad about this.

Route 11, what’ve you got for me?

Drowzee.

It’s caught. Its name is Oak.

Now to beat up the many, many trainers on this route. In hopes of getting Acorn to know Thunderbolt. That’s at level 26. He’s at level 20 right now.

Post-Route 11?

Level 22.

:(

Bike Voucher to drown my sorrows.

Followed by boat ride.

-many minutes later-

Acorn is level 25. Soon. Soon, the day will come. The day of reckoning. Thunderbolt is waiting. Somehow I’m always surprised by how difficult it can be to get an Electric pokemon with Thunderbolt. I think that, more than anything else, has single-handedly killed my general interest in raising Electric pokemon. It’s kind of sad. They were by far my favorite when I was a kid.

Side note unrelated to anything going on right now that might be scaring me.

Rattata with Hyper Fang is scary.

Those tiny things aren’t supposed to be dangerous.

Then.

Suddenly.

Danger.

And just in time for the Rival battle!

They’re going to have a real awkward wedding one day.

This fight is a lot simpler when my lowest level pokemon is level 26. Take notes, future self.

The Ivysaur is very, very annoying, though. Bark turns out to be my best choice for dealing with it. Not what I would call a comfort. ...Heero. I still miss you. So much.

Cut get.

Super happy fun boat trip over now.

We teach Cut to Oak, and go about our business entering the Gym and throwing all the Trainers to the ground. Acorn, Bark. I put my faith in you.

Pokemon fans, what is your least favorite Gym setup, and why is it Surge’s?

Let’s goooooooo.

Acorn will (hopefully) handle the Voltorb and Pikachu, and then leave the Raichu to Bark’s capable. whatevers.

Success on Acorn’s side.

Bark...?

Right.

Yeah, so Double Team?

Do Not Like.

Except when I use it. It’s like Sturdy, in that way.

This fight takes around ten turns for Dig to actually hit and knock the Raichu out in one blow.

Surge’s Gym: The Actual Worst.

We made it to needing Flash! Miracles do exist!

...Wait, what do I have that can learn Flash?

None of the Oaks present. :(

And this time!

This time!

I made it through the damn Diglett cave without needing to kill any for illicit exp.

Back at Cerulean, I’m gonna get my bike, but first I’m going to put Oak in the box so that Oak can come in and learn Cut and Flash.

Heading off to Rock Tunnel like a boss.

Huh, there’s an Aerial Ace TM around these here parts. I’m going to get rid of Sand Tomb on Bark (I hate Sand Tomb and everything remotely like Sand Tomb, so I can’t see myself using it) and teach her Aerial Ace. She is going to be violently fighting Fighting pokemon at some point, and the next Gym coming up is one I have nothing naturally super effective against.

Meanwhile, back in things happening, Route 9 option is a Spearow!

...tfw you don’t know how not to kill something and throwing a poke ball doesn’t work.

But we persevere and catch it!

Its name is Oak.

Route 10 shows us... Voltorb!

.zaft. ;-;

Oh whoops.

Um.

I was spamming the A-button equivalent.

Bye Voltorb, nice not knowing you. Uh. Sorry. +117 illicit exp to Bark and Acorn.

Oops.

Let’s go hide in a cave now and not examine all of that too closely.

Rock Tunnel gives us a Geodude to try not to kill! We are going to answer that call with utmost seriousness, and do whatever possible to not kill the Geodude.

Success!

Its name is Oak.

Now we undertake the long. long. long. journey through the tunnel. It’s exactly like that scene in Lord of the Rings. Just with less fire. And wizards.

This Clefairy near the end of the tunnel is trying my patience. Minimize is the worst. Letting pokemon become immobilized by love is the worst. All of this is the worst. I miss being able to set things on fire so much.

As romantic as it is that love as a status appears to be unending, fucking stop.

Cool. Nice. Great.

Playing this is sapping my struggling will to live, good grief.

Okaay.

So here’s how this plays. I think, if I were given the choice of having everything handed to me, I would go with catching one of the Snorlaxes, and catching a very high level Grimer in Celadon. That would put me at five pokemon. Six would be if I wanted to take the Hitmonlee or Hitmonchan.

I don’t know if I have the resources to make that work.

Truth be told, I still think it was possible for me to beat the Elite Four with my original team. I was overly paranoid about the wrong things, as it turned out, and made a few bad calls. But I don’t think that team was doomed to failure.

Leveling things up so they’re invincible works as a strategy, but I’m also undoubtedly handicapped with Typing. I could drag this current team through the game with no additions, and the leveling could make up for a lot. Maybe even enough to surpass my original team.

Or I could pick some more stuff up.

It’s a hard call. I do really think that throughout the entire game, I only have three realistic options for team additions, and I’m very close to having my hands on any of them. Everywhere else, the leveling is just too much of a negative. A level 25 Lapras was cool and all, but if you look at how much time went into leveling it, I’m not sure I would call having it my best option. Buying a Scyther has already been ruled out here, because it would be level 20. It would resist Fighting and make all Psychic things easier, but it would take too many resources to train.

Grimer, Snorlax, Fighting Gift.

Those are the things I can get that I feel could be a worthwhile investment.

What do I want my final team to look like? What things do I already know are going to cause problems, and how do I want to adjust for them?

Questions I get to ask after three badges. Hell. Why did I think this was a good idea?

I think what I’ll do. Ugh.

See, I think the problem is that the Fighting thing is closest to being gotten, but the Snorlax is what determines if I use it or not. If I can’t have Snorlax, the Fighting thing would be good. But I don’t find out if I’ll get the Snorlax until a bit later and argh.

For now, let’s keep things simple. We’ll go through the tower now, so Acorn and Oak are more experienced as we hit the other sections of the plot. I can’t remember if I get the Super Rod now or later, so we’ll also go down and mess with the fisher people briefly.

Tower and Rival-san first.

...Oh wait. I guess the first thing I want to do is dodge as many trainers as possible and run to Celadon for a Thunderstone for Acorn. Let’s do that.

But if we can get the Super Rod already, it would be best to do that now so we could nab a Grimer when we got there... Sigh.

No Super Rod just yet, sorry me.

Route.... uh. One we’re on while we head towards Celadon gives us a Growlithe to try and catch. ...Bark kills it. More sighing. +195 illicit exp.

Celadon reached, Tea gotten. And...

Yay!

Now to buy a ton of Lemonade.

Then we deal with the tower.

The nicest thing about Heero (that is a lie, all things about Heero were the nicest) was that we didn’t have to deal with this monstrosity.

Ivysaur is still difficult. I don’t have an actual answer to that, yet. It has perfect accuracy with its Sleep Powder so far, adding to the extreme difficulty. We get through it, though, and Oak handles the Kadabra.

Now for the rest of the tower to be taken by Acorn and Oak.

Right. We can’t yet see these, so no catching just yet.

So I lied. Acorn killed everything. Oak did not help. Sorry, Oak. Now I guess we go do the Celadon side of this. So we can then come back to the tower. So we can then figure out if we’re doing a Snorlax or a thingamajig. So we then can get a Grimer.

On and on it goes.

“I don’t sound remotely suspicious at all!”

Sigh. I hate how Levitate is a thing with certain Poison pokemon. Not naming names or anything. I’m just pointing out that my life would be much, much easier if Bark could Dig every single Poison thing in existence.

Look Ma, I made it.

Thanks in advance for giving Oak some exp, Giovanni.

Though Bark is taking the Kangaskhan. Love you Oak, but Dig is better than Water Gun. ...and it still manages to do nothing. That’s mildly scary. I have never missed Allenby so deeply.

Bark finishes it off while still in the green, though. Proving once again that leveling beats everything.

Silph Scope get, so now we can go and finish up the tower.

...I don’t think I actually have any moves that won’t kill this, so if throwing a Poke Ball doesn’t work, we’re running away.

Hm.

It used Curse. Fine, we’ll make an honest try of catching it.

...Why does every sleep-inducing move hit every single fucking time. Why. Why why why.

...

I don’t know how it’s still alive, and I feel like it shouldn’t be.

Whatever.

It’s caught.

Its name is Oak.

Hey, my past self screwed up and didn’t note if I could run away from the Marowak or not. If I can, I have to do that instead of winning extra exp.

Ah. Running away lets me leave the battle, but when I walk back forward the Marowak respawns. Fair. Guess you’ve gotta die, sad ghost.

That done with, time to rescue flute guy. He has a name, but that name is less important than that he has a flute and will determine what our final team will look like once we make use of it.

...I can’t believe I just realized that this is basically Kurt’s plot from gen 2.

We now begin the most difficult trial of the run.

The Snorlax wars.

If catching one looks like it will kill someone, I’m running from it. That goes for both of them. This is a mission of pure luck. Snorlax can kill whatever it wants. The mission is to avoid it killing my team. Accidentally killing it is cool, but if the choices are something dying or running to escape, we are running.

Pictured: Stress.

Let’s get this done with.

...This is not going to work. One Headbutt puts Bark in the orange. If it decides to make a concentrated attack instead of just sleeping, I’m in trouble. Plus, without an Allenby, all I have barely puts a dent in it.

THEN AS I AM TYPING THIS

What the actual fuck.

Welcome to the team, Trunk?

Uh.

Things I did not expect.

Oak, you’re going in the box to make room for Trunk.

Then I guess we’ll. Go get the Super Rod. Fetch Grimer. Then deal with the actual plot of the game. Huh.

Trunk is Quirky, and has Immunity, which as we learned last time, is great for Koga. So uh. What I guess I’m saying is. Nice. This puts us dangerously close to being in a pretty good place.

Lowest level thing that I’m using is level 30. That’s really, really good. So now we’re going to feed all the trainers we didn’t beat on Route 8 to Trunk, and giggle about it as we go.

Righty then, Trunk hits level 32, and we’re going to storm Erika’s Gym now.

...Why does everything put all of my stuff to sleep this round.

I also should find a more workable solution to fighting Grass pokemon at some point. I have an inkling that being overleveled isn’t going to last forever, and it’s my only real defense at the moment.

And I need to stop having Oak in up front. I’m trying to get some Sp. Atk from the Oddishes and things, but really it’s just meaning I forget and have to switch out on things like Bellsprout. EV training fails everywhere.

Seriously though, I’m using Acorn to deal with Grass things. That is not a solution. That is an abomination.

Lesgo.

Including blatant the blatant stupidity of having Acorn fight the Vileplume.

I just want my team to be its best self. Don’t judge.

VINDICATION.

Badge 4, get!

And now we fish for our Grimer. Which. tbh I don’t even know if it’ll make sense to use, but in any case, we will have it. Having things is nice.

According to Serebii, there’s a 1% chance of Grimer here. Mostly this pond just has Magikarp.

We’re going to be here a while. Especially since getting a pokemon on the hook at all is proving mighty difficult. Until a few seconds ago, I was averaging five tries per Magikarp.

-6. hours. later.-

.

.

.

Presenting.

The lowest level Grimer you can catch in this here pond.

Are you fucking kidding me.

-cries in the corner for six more hours-

(Sadly, only one of those descriptions of my actions is fake. Now that really wants to make me cry for six hours.)

Its name.

is.

Sap.

It joins the party. Tree goes in the box.

It is Brave.

Good for it.

Let’s call this a stopping point, shall we?

[italicwatches]

I Couldn’t Become a Hero, so I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job - Episode 01

I regret nothing. …Well, I say that now. I’m not entirely sure if this show will be any good, but it’s one whose title has had me curious for a while. Will it be silly and fun, or will it, I don’t know, turn super rapey or something? You never really know when you go down this road. So join me, won’t you? it’s I Couldn’t Become a Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job, episode 01! Here we GO!

-We begin with fire and brimstone. A volcano erupting! And then, to a temple ruins! It’s a scene right out of an incredibly anime version of Jason and the Argonauts, as our armored hero fights against a batch of skeleton w…knights, only for a harpy to come swinging in! He’s saved by a woman…in…

-Okay it’s one of these.

-Because that wouldn’t even qualify as Sexy Samurai in a decade-old shitpost video. So our hero, Raul Chaser, is willing to rely onYUP THERE GOES HER ARMOR. So she’s like Darkness but without the joke that she’s into this kind of treatment. A small army of skeletal archers pour on the arrows…When lightning comes down from the skies, brought by their other companions! Fight, war, and reach the giant leading this army! Strike him down, and they pass the exam! The woman races in, sprints up the giant’s arm, rams her fucking sword into his EYE…

-And Raul backs her up with his RAUL SLASH, carving deep through…

-Hard cut to the light of day. The hero school has been shut down. Demon Lord got defeated(probably by some fucker from another world), sooooo they don’t need to keep training brave heroes. They’re all fucked. They’re fuuuuuucked.

-Episode 01: I Couldn’t Be a Hero, so I’m Working the Register

-Hard cut to the Leon Magic Shop, where Raul has to sell suburban couples on enchanted washing machines. Magically guaranteed to remove even the most stubborn stains! But they’re not interested.

-TITTIES.

-Meet a perky bubbly young lady, Nova, who does not realize how sexualized she is. I’m sorry. Anyways, Raul is in a bit of a bind, too, since he hasn’t gotten a raise and his credit card bill is coming up this week…When a nerd comes in looking for some vintage cassette tapes. You’re in luck, they have some…! And suddenly the store is mobbed by vintage audio enthusiasts here to buy out the entire stock. Then they’re gone as fast as they came…

-And you know what, I don’t think those tapes are super vintage. I just spotted totally-not-Kodak film behind the counter. I think this is just set in the 80s-90s equivalent of this world. Plus, after a hoodie-clad blonde comes in, the CRT television in the corner plays Conveniently Timed News about how the cassette maker I-ONE has gone out of business! They just couldn’t hold their own against cheaper, ‘good enough’ cassettes and equipment from the competition while still making a profit. It’s a legitimate tragedy whenever that happens.

-And the blonde is getting mad and wants them to get the manager right now…Which is when Nova runs off to handle inventory. Escape, Nova, escape while you can! So Raul is forced to do it…Which is when the blonde slams a resume down. And is here for an interview. When the blonde forgets the resume…And so Raul’s able to read it, and holy shit.

-Raul bursts into the interview room with the resume, because you cannot seriously be thinking of hiring the demon lord’s child, right boss? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! You literally wrote it on your resume. W, Well, you’re supposed to tell the truth on those, aren’t you?! Anyways, busty lady boss has decided that Fino here will be joining the shop. It’ll be a good experience! Fino, Raul. Raul, Fino. Please get along.

-So soon Fino’s in the store, looking at all the stuff, and there’s some really cool things that humans have made. Like magicvision, and magic cassettes, and magic…You know what I’m just going to spoil it for you now. It’s 80s-90s level tech, made with magic. I’m not going to bother to specify anymore. It’s a fuckin’ TV, it’s cool that it works because of fairy dust or whatever but I’m calling it a TV. Anyways Fino never had a personal TV growing up in the Demon Castle, and is all oooooh and aaaah.

-Well, you know what else you didn’t have growing up in the Demon Castle? A broom. Get sweeping, rookie. …Yes sir! And then Convenient News comes back on to talk about the anniversary event for the demon lord’s defeat two years ago. Quick flashback, to how that day totally fucked Raul’s life. A young man, two steps away from a degree in a job that literally no longer existed overnight. His entire party was shattered. They’re stuck in dead-end jobs and with crushing college debt, and nothing to show for it except broken dreams and a bitter envy of those who actually benefitted from the changing order…

-…Damn. That’s…Damn.

-Eventually it’s later in the day, and Raul is continuing to struggle with getting Fino to, you know, work like a proper employee…Also shocking twist Fino has long lovely hair. And that’s when a rough, tough…Dirty old man comes in off his slick dragon-pulled hotrod. And he’s here to peek up Nova’s skirt and grope that ass. Fino immediately decides this shit has to be stopped…When the old man reveals he’s gonna be buying a lightbulb. One lightbulb. Every time. The perfect excuse. And now Fino is…Shall we say, confused. Are humans like dogs? Is butt stuff just part of the communication?

-Does Fino need to bend over? Fino stop bending over. FINO NO. FINO PUT YOUR BUTT AWAY. NOVA DON’T ENCOURAGE THIS.

-Lunch break, at last. Raul is able to sit down and have some food from the convenience store…A place with some old friends who worry about the dork, and look after each other.

-Back in the store, the boss is talking to her assistant manager, Viser, and trying to explain her disinterest in bringing in another company into the shop…When they spot Raul working with Fino at the register, over the security cameras. And cut down to the actual register, where Raul’s decided that the actual core of Fino’s problems is a lack of respect. Rethink everything. Back to zero. This job means they are lesser than the customer. Yeah it sucks. Deal with it.

-…Fino doesn’t know how to do that. Well try on Raul. Okay! …Fino you’re being demonic again. This isn’t a battle, you stupid dork. Are you a chuuni or just stupid?

-Fino is just trying to copy how Dad used to talk! Your dad was, literally, a demon king. THE demon king. There is, quite literally, no worse example you could mimic for this lesson! …You know what, start with the manual. But first, come on, to the repair room. They also do repair work.

-Oooh, what’s that? It’s a toaster oven. And that?! A humidifier. And…And Fino touches the humidifier, and causes a surge of water, electricity and magical energy that knocks the poor idiot into the far wall! Raul’s stuck carrying Fino into the break room to figure out a plan that doesn’t involve calling a doctor and getting into trouble, and oh, great, a note from literally everyone else who works today listing their reasons they’re not here right now. Awesome. Just awesome.

-Right, first step, get these ruined clothes off of Fino. …Fino was not wearing anything under that hoodie. And that’s how a pair of big, bountiful, ladylike breasts come wobbling out.

-And that’s when Fino wakes up.

-So.

-This isn’t great for either party. And both of them are having a freakout, until the actual events that happened get all laid out. …Please put some fresh clothes on, Fino.

-And eventually, it’s the tail end of Fino’s first day, and she gets to have a uniform! Now sweep the walkway. By hand. With this broom. Welcome to working life, kid. When a sweet old lady passes by praising her hard work, and Fino thanks her, and the kid might just do okay in this world. Maybe.

-Night comes, and Raul stops at the convenience store for dinner, having a brief chat…But as he walks by the shop on his way home, the lights are on?

-Because Fino is in the back, washing down by hand in the sink?! What are you DOING?! She’s got no house, so this is her house now. …That’s not…That isn’t…You can’t just…Do you have any idea how terrible dish soap is for hair and skin? I’d question focusing on that angle over all the other things Fino’s done wrong here, but at the same time, I mean, there comes a point where you just have to find the smallest bite of the elephant.

-And as Raul helps her dry and generally make herself presentable, they end up talking about their own pasts. Raul, who came from a tiny village only to see all the great marvels of modernity in the city, and Fino who lived an even less modern life in the castle…Despite everything, there is a connection of friendship there, and Fino’s starting to learn human society. She might just do okay here yet.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! Fino touches the turbo button on the hair dryer and…Uh…It makes a biiiiig boom. She has a scary amount of magic in a world that runs on the stuff.

Hmmmm. Well, it’s not so bad that I’m gonna drop it, but man, the fan service in this one is dense…And a lot of it is pure camera-work, too, not actions actually willingly undertaken by characters. It’s honestly a shame. There’s a lot of interesting conceptual meat in this. It really didn’t need big bouncing tits and panty shots everywhere to be a good show.

Oh well. Sometimes I watch super amazing stuff and my job is just to show that amazingness to you. Sometimes, I watch not-so-great stuff and my job is to separate off the good stuff and bring it together into a better piece. If this one’s more the latter, that’s fine. We’ll just have to get a better vibe on it next time, in episode TWO of I Couldn’t … Job! Wait for it!

[afjakwritesarchive]

contest fic!

Here’s one of the fics from my december giveaway, written for https://cultured---trash.tumblr.com/ who requested US/Fem!UK superhero AU! 

It was nearly eleven P.M, and Alfred was only just getting off his shift at the restaurant. He walked along the sidewalk toward his apartment complex without paying much attention to his surroundings, more concerned with counting his tips whenever he passed under a streetlamp. His earnings for the night had been decent—like most servers, his hourly wasn't nearly enough, but his tips for the night had made up for it with a little extra to spare. He decided he'd treat himself to an extra coffee the following morning and tucked the cash into the pocket of his uniform blacks slacks, looking up just in time to collide with another person. “Shit, sorry, man.” Alfred said before taking a step back and trying to walk around them. However, the person—who was slightly taller than Alfred and much bulkier—took hold of his arm and wrenched him back. Alfred let out a yelp of surprise and ripped his arm out of the man’s grip, but got no further before the man had rushed forward and put his hands on Alfred’s shoulders, pushing him to the ground. Alfred let out a startled yelp as he toppled over and slammed into the concrete.

“What the hell, dude?” Alfred cried, looking up with an annoyed huff. The man stood over him and pushed his jacket back, revealing the butt of a gun tucked underneath his belt. “Give me everything in your pockets and your backpack. Now.” Alfred blinked. Then, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his narrow nose a bit, he shook his head. “Listen, man, I don't think—“ 

“Shut up! I said give it over!” “Listen, man, you really dunno what you're doing. I won't hurt you if you back off now.” Alfred warned, his attitude entirely nonchalant. The man merely laughed and extracted the gun from his belt, aiming at Alfred. “This is your last warning.” Alfred sighed, as if annoyed. He began to raise a hand, blue sparks already dancing across his fingertips. “Okay, dude, but I told you that you shouldn't—“ Alfred was cut off by the man’s sudden cry of surprise and pain. The hand with the gun in it jerked down and the gun fell from his hands. Then, the man cried out again, his head jerking to the side as if he'd been hit. When he turned back to face Alfred, blood was flowing from his nose and he glared at Alfred, enraged. The American blinked, gaping in awe from his position on the ground. He looked around for anyone who could have delivered the hits, coming up empty. Had he done that? He was certain he'd never been able to hit people with his mind before—his powers were a bit unpredictable, sure, but a new one hadn't appeared since he was a teenager. The man lunged at Alfred, only to be jerked back. After enduring a few more strikes to the face, the man stumbled and then toppled over, hollering something about “giving up”. He then scrambled to his feet and ran past Alfred, turning a corner and disappearing. Alfred stared off in his direction, absolutely bewildered. Finally, he turned his head back toward the street in front of him, jolting at the sight of a young woman standing in front of him, breathing heavily. “Are you alright?” She asked, holding out a hand to him. Her green eyes gazed down into Alfred’s blue, seeming to search his face for any sign of damage. “Um, yeah,” Alfred said, taking her small, smooth hand in his large, calloused one. She pulled him to his feet with a strength Alfred wouldn't have expected from someone as small as her. She was incredibly slender, at least a foot shorter than Alfred, and everything about her reminded him of the word dainty. “Thanks, by the way. Did you, uh, do whatever that was to him?” Alfred asked curiously, looking down at her with an interested smile. Her unusually thick brows pulled down, seeming upset. She sighed. “I’m sorry about this, really, but I can't have you remembering my face,” she said before raising her hand. Alfred was so enamored by her British accent, he almost didn't notice the odd green light emitting from her palm. He let out a yelp of surprise and jumped back, wide-eyed at the idea that she was going to wipe his mind of what he'd seen. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on a second, I have powers too!” Alfred exclaimed, raising both hands in surrender. The woman’s thin lips frowned, but she lowered her hands. “…You have powers?” She asked hesitantly, clearly not believing him. “Yeah! I can—um, I’m super strong, I heal really fast, and I can do this,” Alfred said before displaying a hand to her. Electricity sparked from his fingertips and curled around his hand. At this, the woman’s green eyes went wide in shock and she leaned closer to Alfred’s hand with interest. “How powerful is it?” She asked, marveling over the mesmerizing visual affect the electricity had. “This much could stun a person for like thirty seconds,” Alfred said and pulled his hand back a bit to make sure she didn't accidentally touch it. “But I can make it was more severe than that. What can you do? Can you hit people with your mind?” He asked, willing the electricity away and stepping closer. She seemed amused by Alfred’s words, suppressing a chuckle. “No, I was invisible,” she answered easily. “Sadly I can't hit people with my mind, although that would make things much easier.” She stopped there, seeming reluctant to share any more. “Dude, invisibility? That's so sick. You're fucking awesome!” Exclaimed Alfred enthusiastically, beaming at her. The woman was instantly struck with the brightness of his expression. It was no wonder the possessed the ability to manipulate electricity—when he lit up like that, he looked as though he were electrically charged. His blue eyes seemed to glow, and his smile was so wide and bright she half wondered if he unconsciously used his powers, for she felt a small shock run through her. “Thank you,” she said, somewhat cautious despite the man’s familiar attitude. “I’m Alfred, by the way! Alfred Jones.” He said, and held his hand out to her. She glanced at it and then raised her large eyebrows at him, as if to ask, are you kidding me?   Alfred laughed at her expression and shook his head, golden hair falling in his face as he did so. “I swear I won't shock you,” he laughed. After another moment of hesitation, the woman reached out and took his hand. “I’m Alice Kirkland.” She told him as she shook his hand. Alfred nearly pulled her arm off with how enthusiastically he shook her hand before releasing her. “Man, it's nice to meet you, Alice! I've never met someone else who had powers except my brother!” Alfred said with that same wide grin. “What else can you do? What was that green thing with your hand? Were you gonna erase my memory?” Alice blushed, finding herself flustered by Alfred’s incredible energy. “Yes, I can do a little bit of memory manipulation. I can erase memories and create new ones, though creating them is much more challenging and I rarely ever do it. There not much use for it, anyway. I can also alter memories, although only very slightly, like making someone believe they drank orange juice instead of tea or something…And I’m also resistant to fire. Not so much of a power as a special quality, but I can't be burned by fire.”

“Still, that's fucking sick.” Alfred said before looking her over. She was obviously more than a capable of taking care of herself, but Alfred still found himself asking, “where are you headed? I’ll walk you there, if it's alright.” Alice seemed startled by his question. Then, flushing red, she nodded her head. “I was just headed back to my flat. It's this way.” She said, beginning to walk. Alfred fell into step beside her and smiled down at her. “Mine’s this way too!” He said happily. “So, sorry for bombarding you with questions, but there's so much I wanna know. How long have you had your powers?” “I first started noticing them in my early teens. As I grew older, they grew stronger with me.” “That's so cool! Do you have any siblings with powers?” She nodded. “All of my brothers have powers, including invisibility. I’m the only one with memory manipulation, though. What about you? You said your brother had powers too?” She questioned. “Yeah. Mattie and I are twins, so we developed around the same time. He has a bunch of cool powers, more than me, but his are more mental than physical. He has telekinesis, telepathy, and he can look up to a month into the future. He doesn't really, though. At least, not for himself. I think he does for me sometimes, just to check up on me.” Alfred said with a laugh. The pair continued talking until Alice stopped outside of a building. “Well, this is me,” she said. Alfred looked at the building and grinned. “Holy shit, me too! Have we seriously been living in the same building this whole time?” He asked, seeming absolutely ecstatic. Alice blinked, a bit surprised by that fact as well. Happiness surged within her at the thought of being able to see Alfred again, which she quickly stamped down. “What floor are you?” “Four, you?” “Two.” Alice answered, somewhat disappointed. That made it a bit harder to run into Alfred in the halls, but it explained why they'd never met. “Damn, that sucks. Oh, well. Guess if we wanna hang out it won't be a hassle coming over, at least.” Alfred said, holding the door open for Alice. She stepped inside, thanking him softly and ignoring her flushed face. “Yes, I suppose not.” “You're welcome at my place any time, just so you know. I’m number 7.” Alfred said as they stepped into the elevator together. He pressed the buttons for their respective floors and turned toward Alice. She looked up at him and smiled somewhat awkwardly. “Thank you, Alfred. I’ll keep that in mind.” The elevator stopped and opened at her floor. “It was nice meeting you.” She said before stepping out. Alfred gave her a bright smile and waved her goodbye until the doors closed. Alice couldn't help but to smile as she turned and walked toward her flat. —————————————————————————————————— From there, friendship bloomed slowly. It started when Alice knocked on Alfred’s door and asked for a cup of sugar. He'd seemed somewhat amused and invited her in while he found one, at which point she'd thanked him and left in a hurry, only to return an hour later with a small container of terribly burnt scones for him. Alfred had once again invited her in, this time for a cup of coffee. She'd agreed despite not liking coffee and he'd scarfed down her scones, ignoring the terrible taste, in order to make her happy. The smile on her face had made Alfred happy too, and he'd decided eating them was worth it even when she promised to make him more another time. From there, their meetings became somewhat regular. At first, it was only a few times a month; but after three months, Alfred seemed intent on seeing her more. They started meeting every week, and within a few months the unannounced entrance of one into the other’s apartment became common, each one considering the other to be their best friend. Despite their stark differences in personality, Alfred and Alice got on well. They learned from each other, and their powers complemented each other well. When they went out in public, they usually found trouble—and found that they worked well as a crime-fighting duo as well. Though there wasn't exactly a super villain in their city, there was certainly some dangerous organized crime that needed combatting. They sought it out together, usually aiding the police in their efforts to rid the city of violent or illegal doings under fake names and appearances (crafted by Alice using her memory alteration). Alfred’s speed paired with Alice’s invisibility and their mutual skill in combat lead to many successes in their battles, usually with little to no injury to either person. There had been a few close calls—they'd each had to carry the other out of a dangerous situation once or twice, but Alfred was absolutely convinced of his duty to the people of his city, and Alice cared far too much for him to ever let him fight a battle alone. Thus, their lives became more and more intertwined. They worked side by side fighting crime under fake identities, and walked side by side as best friends under their real ones. They became practically inseparable—though they each had their own lives, the other was a constant part of it, a piece which they each treasured (though Alfred was more open about his affection for Alice than she was about hers for him).

Lately, though, Alice had noticed something odd between them, something she had trouble placing. She felt as though there was unspoken tension between them, and worried that she was the cause of it. Though she'd initially been wary of Alfred and his friendly demeanor, worrying that he was a little too friendly, after getting close to him and realizing how genuine he was, her platonic affection had morphed into romantic affection.

She tried not to let it affect her actions when she was around the man, but she found herself blushing far more than usual and shying away from any questions of her romantic interests. She could hardly stand Alfred’s constant affection, wanting him more and more each time he casually slung an arm across her shoulders or hugged her or jokingly tugged on her long ponytails. She was falling in love with him, and she was sure that Alfred was catching on to her awkwardness.

The atmosphere between them had shifted, though in what direction Alice wasn't sure until the day of the fire.

She woke up at around six in the morning to the apartment building’s fire alarm going off. Immediately, the young woman leapt out of bed and rushed to the front door, flinging it open. Her neighbor was standing in the hallway, and looked to her with worry in his eyes when he saw her.

“It's coming from the fourth floor! You have time to grab anything you really need!”

Unthinking, Alice jolted into action and rushed back into her apartment, beginning to stuff a duffel bag full of her most prized possessions. It wasn't until she'd rushed out into the hallway, a duffel bag slung over her shoulder and her cat, Crumpet, under her arm, that she remembered Alfred and gasped. Immediately, she ran downstairs and outside.

At the sight of Alfred, she sighed in relief. He was walking out of the building with two people slung over his shoulder, who he quickly carried to their landlord. Alice rushed toward him, about to fling her arms around the man, when he turned toward her.

“There's still three people inside!” He exclaimed.

Alice glanced around, wide-eyed. Then, nodding determinedly, she passed her belongings off to a neighbor.

“I'll go. You shouldn't go back in, the smoke could—!”

“No way! I’m going in!” Alfred interrupted before rushing back into the building.

Alice let out a cry of shock and sprinted after him, ignoring the yells of her landlord and neighbor. The first and second floor were mostly clear, with the third being slowly engulfed. Alfred called for her to follow him as he rushed to the fourth and final floor of the building and down the hall.

Smoke filled the air, and Alice knew it must have been suffocating for Alfred. She rushed ahead of him, unaffected, and into the house. Two children and a young woman were huddled behind the kitchen counter, holding tightly to each other. Alfred surged into the home behind Alice and immediately rushed forward. “We’re gonna get you out of here!” He cried, coughing afterward. He tugged the woman and the older child towards him, flinging the woman over his shoulder with ease due to his super strength. Afterward, he lifted the other child up. Alice set the smallest child on her back and they rushed out of the building and onto the street once more, setting te family down with the rest of the building.

Crumpet meowed excitedly at the sight of her owner and Alice smiled as she and Alfred walked toward the cat. Then, Alfred stopped dead in his tracks.

“Oh my god, Hero!” He cried loudly, thinking of his own cat,most. Likely still trapped in his apartment.

He was already turning back toward the building when Alice grabbed his arm.

“Alfred, no! I’ll go!” She cried.

“The place is about to collapse! If something falls, there’s no way you’all be able to make it out!” Alfred exclaimed in response, pulling her off of him. “I swear I’ll be right out!”

“Alfred, no—!”

But Alfred was already rushing back into the building. Alice jerked forward, immediately starting after the American, but was caught around the waist by her landlord.

“You can't go in there!” He cried, holding her back.

“Let me go!” She huffed, shoving against him.

The man successfully held her back for only a moment before Alice employed her skill in fighting in order to shove him off, trying to inflict as little damage as possible. The man fell to the ground and Alice ran back into the building, sprinting all the way to the fourth floor.

“ALFRED!” She shouted loudly as she ran further into the building and then into Alfred’s apartment.

To her great shock, Alfred was laying face-up on the ground, coughing roughly. Hero was perched in his lap and pawing at his chest, as if urging his owner to get up.

“Alfred!” Cried Alice, horrified. She rushed forward and dropped down beside him. “Can you stand?!”

Alfred shook his head, tears in his eyes from the smoke. His coughing was incessant and quickly growing worse. He began gesturing frantically toward Hero, telling Alice to save him, but she shook her head.

“I’m going to get you both out of here!” She cried determinedly, feeling a sudden rush of adrenaline. She tugged Alfred closer and into her arms, making sure that hero was balanced in the man’s lap, and lifted Alfred up.

The cat let out a yowl of surprise at being off the ground, clinging to Alfred. Alice rushed out of Alfred’s apartment with the man held bridal style in her arms. Despite the strain of carrying Alfred, Alice was able to exit the building quickly. Once she was near the others, she collapsed on her knees, stilling clinging to the American. Hero leapt out of his lap and Alice lowered the American to the ground, panting.

Several people in the buidling had surrounded them now, helping Alfred to sit up as he continued to cough and offering Alice water and cheers of gratitude.

The paramedics arrived soon after, treating all those in need. To everyone’s happiness, the injuries to the buiIding’s inhabitants were minor, and everyone who lived there had made it out safely.

Alice, who had been unaffected by the fire thanks to her powers, was leaning against the wall of the building across the street, Alfred leaning against her and recovering quickly from his coughing fit due to his own powers.

Once he was finally able to speak, Alfred looked to Alice and grinned. “Thanks for saving my life.” He said.

Alice went a bit red. “Of course. Don’t you ever be so stupid again, though! I can't believe how reckless that was! I could’ve gone in and gotten hero without a problem!”

“I couldn't let you do that,” Alfred said with a shake of his head. “If something happened to you, I dunno what I'd do with myself.”

“Yes, well, something nearly did happen to you, so imagine how I feel.” Alice huffed, her bottom lip wobbling. She realized very abruptly that she was starting to cry, the thought of loosing Alfred affecting her profoundly.

Alfred reached out, cupping her cheeks in his hands. “Alice…” He murmured softly, gazing into her eyes.

Alice pushed his hands away and shook her head. “I'm fine, don’t coddle me,” she huffed, looking away to wipe her eyes.

“I love you.”

Alice jolted, shocked. Her head jerked back toward Alfred’s face and she stared, wide-eyed. “What?”

“I love you, Alice.” Said Alfred sincerely, gazing into her eyes.

Alice paused only a moment before replying, “I love you too, Alfred,” she said, tears forming in her eyes due to the mix of emotions she felt—relief, joy, excitement, and affection all blended together, creating a storm within her.

Alfred grinned, tugging her closer. This time, Alice didn’t try to disspell her romantic thoughts; she succumbed to them, letting her eyes flutter and close as Alfred kissed her.

[therainroguefanfiction]

🔥 ℝise Ⱥbove I̾t ◈ Chapter 018 [Calming Peppermint]

📑 Table of Contents | ◂Backward

Word Count: 3,126

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〈“Did you think that I would surrender easily? That just like that, you were gettin’ rid of me? Is that the way you saw it all go down? I don’t think so.” Simple Plan, “Last One Standing”〉

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The defeated villains were beginning to stir and decided to try and stop Toshi, but he easily took them down, heading straight toward the broken and battered Aizawa. I kneeled down, looking at the hole in my skin; I could see the muscle tissue.

Toshi turned to us and in the blink of an eye, I felt my body being lifted off the ground. A second later, he put us all down on the ground a safe distance from the two villains. “Everybody, back to the entrance. And take Aizawa with you, he doesn’t have much time!”

I had never heard his voice so full of anger before. I couldn’t tell if it was because of the villains or anger toward himself for not being here. Probably a bit of both.

“Y-Yes, sir!”

“Ribbit!”

“You saved us, All Might…”

I helped lift Aizawa onto Izuku’s back, the perverted grape holding up his feet up off the ground.

“All Might, you can’t. That brain villain took One for – uh, I smashed him and it didn’t break my arm this time, but he wasn’t fazed at all! He’s too strong!”

“Young Midoriya!” Toshi turned around with a wide smile, a bit forced, in my opinion, and flashed him a peace sign. “I got this!” This reassured the three and they started toward the entrance, but I stayed put. “You, too, young Jen.”

I scoffed. “Not even on a taco’s life, mate.”

“Now is not the time to be stubborn,”

I grinned, squatting down with my hand between my legs to steady myself. “Take the stage, Toshi. I think they’re getting impatient.”

He heaved a deep sigh before turning around and rushing at the big guy, fist poised for attack. “Carolina… SMASH!”

Despite taking the full brunt of the attack, that fuckin’ bird brain wasn’t even fazed by the attack. He tried to grab Toshi but he bent backward to dodge before punching him again. Punch after punch after punch, none of it fazed this fucker.

“Doesn’t even matter where I punch you, does it?”

“That’s because Nomu here has shock absorption, All Might. The only way you’re going to hurt him is to slowly gouge out his flesh. Of course, I don’t think he’ll sit back and let you do that. You’ve finally met your match!”

God, that blue-haired prick is really annoying.

“Thanks for telling me how to beat him!” Toshi grabbed the thing around the waist. “All I have to do is wear him down, then it’s on to you!” He performed a suplex on the thing, slamming his head into the ground. Dust filled the area, a strong gust of wind nearly knocking me back onto my ass.

The smoke cleared and my eyes widened.

“Oh, come on, what kind of cheap move was that?”

That goddamn warp gate! He opened up a portal before the attack, allowing Nomu to appear from the ground under Toshi, his fingers digging into his sides. I could see the blood soaking his white dress shirt.

“Nice! You were trying to bury him in the concrete so he couldn’t move around anymore. Sorry, that won’t work. Nomu’s as strong as you are, that won’t stop him. Nice work, Kurogiri, we’ve got him just where we want him now.”

Toshi let go of Nomu’s waist, trying to pry his grip from his waist. Should I try and help? But my flames do no damage to that thing, and I risk hurting Toshi in the process. Shit.

“Kurogiri,”

His golden eyes narrowed as his portal started to shrink. “Normally, I wouldn’t want blood and viscera flooding the insides of my warp gates, but I’ll make an exception for a hero as great as you. Since you’re too fast to see with the human eye, Nomu had to restrain you. And once he’s pulled your body halfway through, I’ll squeeze the gate shut! I’m going to enjoy tearing you to pieces!”

My blood started to boil as my quirk activated, but before I could act, a green blur rushed past me.

“I’m coming!” Izuku was rushing toward Toshi.

Dumbass!

The warp appeared in front of him and I sprung forward. My arm wrapped around his waist just as Bakugo appeared, setting off an explosion right in our face. “Get the hell out of my way, Deku! Bitch!”

I grunted, shoving Izuku behind me as Bakugo grabbed the metal piece hidden within the shadow body, pinning him to the ground. The temperature around us dropped, sending a chill down my spine as a stream of ice shot toward Nomu, stopping just before it touched Toshi. What amazing control.

“One of your poorly trained thugs told me you’re here because you think you can kill All Might.”

That goddamn Peppermint. Why do I always feel so calm when his voice reaches my ears? It makes no goddamn sense! What makes this brat so special? I shook my head. No, stay focused, dumbass. This ain’t over yet.

With Nomu frozen, Toshi was able to break free from his grip. A flash of red went straight for Tomura, but the villain dodged, jumping backward. “Man, that was gonna be so cool.”

“Guess I found your body that time, you smoky bastard!” Bakugo grinned.

“The symbol of peace will not be defeated by delinquents like you,” Peppermint announced.

“Kacchan… everyone…” Izuku looked ready to start crying.

I stepped forward, making sure I was standing between Tomura and the boys.

“Kurogiri… how could you let this brat get the best of you? You’ve gotten us into a real jam, here…”

“Heh, you got careless, ya dumb villain! It wasn’t hard to figure you out! Only certain parts of you turn into that smoking warp gate. You use that mist to hide your actual body as a kind of distraction. Thinking that made you safe. That’s why we missed… but if you didn’t have a body, you wouldn’t be wearing this neck armor, right?! You’re not immune to physical attacks if they’re well aimed!”

I glanced back at him. This kid is pretty smart. “Don’t get over-confident, Bakugo.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, bitch! And you – don’t move!” Small explosions came from behind me. “You try anything funny and I’ll blow your ass up so bad they’ll be piecing you back together for weeks!”

My lips twitched up at that. I like this kid’s style.

“That doesn’t sound very heroic…” Red sweatdropped.

“Nomu,”

At this simple command, the creature pulled its body through the gate, its frozen limbs breaking and falling off.

“How is that thing still moving? He’s all messed up!”

I took a defensive stance, hands heating up.

“Stay back, everybody!” Toshi ordered.

Wait… are his limbs regenerating?! Is this bitch Deadpool’s ugly ass cousin?

“What is this? I thought you said his power was shock absorption!” Toshi took a fighting stance, waiting for the enemy’s next move.

“I didn’t say that was his only quirk. He also has super regeneration. Nomu has been modified to take you on even at one hundred percent of your power. He’s basically a highly efficient punching bag that hits back.”

Modified? Like a human experiment? What the fuck…

“First, we need to free our method of escape. Get ’em, Nomu!”

“Bakugo!” I screamed, turning my body, but Nomu was a lot faster than me.

“Jen!” Toshi screamed my name as he turned and I knew what he wanted.

“I got ’em!” I ignored the pain surging through me, focusing my mind on the spot directly beside the blonde. Toshi was too fast for me to see, but just as I appeared in that spot, Bakugo’s body slammed into mine, making me slide backward. His elbow hit my ribs and I bit back a string of curses, tasting blood on my tongue. The force of Nomu slamming into Toshi created a huge gust of wind. I had to dig my heels into the ground to stay upright, my arms tightening around the boy’s waist.

“Ugh, such force… Kacchan!”

“Stop screaming,” I muttered, shoving the blonde away from me, spitting out the blood onto the ground. Man, that is not a good taste, especially on an empty stomach.

Peppermint sent me a look similar to worry, but I looked away from him, wiping my mouth.

“Woah, that’s awesome! You dodged him!”

“Shut up. No, I didn’t, ya damn nerd.”

“Then how’d you get over here?” Red asked.

“Ya’ll can’t seriously be this fucking dumb,” I muttered.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Peppermint snapped his eyes to the clearing smoke where Toshi stood, coughing. “All Might threw him out of the way, and Winchester caught him.”

“These are kids and you didn’t hold back?” Toshi was sounding angry again.

“I didn’t have much choice. He was threatening my companion. Besides, these kids are no angels! The plain-looking one, he tried to kill me with a maxed out punch. What kind of hero does something like that? You think you can get away with being as violent as you want if you say it’s for the sake of others. Well, you know what, All Might? That pisses me off!”

“Will you shut the fuck up already?” I growled, taking a step forward. “You came here and challenged us and then you wanna talk about violence? You’re whining and bitching like a little kid that got his fucking toy stolen. Grow the fuck up, Tomura!”

“Shut your mouth, Jen Winchester.” He glared at me. “I’ll deal with you after I get done with All Might. Wait your turn.”

“Suck my dick, you blue-haired freak!”

“How vulgar. You may look like your mother, but you certainly didn’t get her personality.” He grinned widely and I felt a presence appear behind me. I turned my body just as Golem snatched the dagger from my waist, slashing the tip of the blade across my stomach and chest in one fluid motion.

“Jen!” Izuku cried, but I lifted my hand, raising a line of fire between them and me.

“Mind your own fuckin’ business, Izuku!” I glared at Golem. “I’ve had about enough of your ugly ass fuckin’ face!” One hand grabbed the wrist holding the dagger while the other hand grabbed his face, my hand engulfed in flame. He screamed in pain, clawing at my wrist. My body beat in time with my heart and I felt my control starting to slip. I’ve been in this form for too long and with my injuries, I can’t hold on much longer. Damn it all to hell!

I cried out, slamming the back of his head against the ground. It didn’t make a crater like Nomu’s had, but the cement still split from the force.

I stood up on shaky legs, my skin burning as I gasped in air. “Oi… Peppermint.”

He blinked, tilting his head. “Me?”

Yes you, you fuckin’ – “Listen carefully. If I lose control… of my quirk. You gotta… you gotta freeze my body, understand?”

“But -”

“Just fucking do it!”

He chewed on his lip for a moment before slowly nodding. “Okay… I will.”

“Good,” Because I don’t think I can hold on much longer. Is this what it feels like when Toshi is fighting to keep his muscled form up?

“Jen-san…” Izuku stepped closer to the fire, which had lowered considerably.

Tomura clicked his tongue. “See what I mean? She just burned the face off of my companion. Why do people get to decide that some violent acts are ‘heroic’ and others are ‘villainous’? Casting judgment as to what’s good and what’s evil. You think you’re the symbol of peace? You’re just another government-sponsored instrument of violence. And violence always breeds more violence. I’ll make sure the world understands that once you’re dead.”

“You’re nothing but a lunatic. Criminals like you always try to make your actions sound noble, but admit it – you’re only doing this because you like it. Isn’t that right?” Toshi responded.

“He’s got me figured out.”

“We’ve got them outnumbered,” Peppermint commented.

“And Kacchan found the mist guy’s weakness.”

“These dudes may act really tough, but we can take ’em all down now with All Might’s help. Heh, let’s do this!”

I glanced back at them with a scowl. “Are you guys mentally stunted or just suicidal? Sorry, but you four ain’t nowhere near strong enough to handle those three villains. You’ll just get in the way.”

“That’s not fair, Winchester! You’re on the same level as us!” Red complained.

“No, she’s stronger than we are,” Peppermint spoke up, his cold eyes meeting mine.

“Don’t attack! Get out of here!” Toshi ordered, glancing back at them.

“You would’ve been in trouble earlier if it weren’t for me, remember? You need our help.” His cold gaze snapped to Toshi.

“I thank you for your assistance, but this is different! It’s gonna be alright. Just sit back and watch a pro at work.”

Toshi… your voice has changed. You sound stronger, more full of life. But how? You’re hurt, and I know you’re struggling to maintain that form right now. What’s your secret? How do you push so goddamn hard and keep going above and beyond? I don’t get it.

“But you’re too hurt… you’re bleeding and you’re almost out of tim -” Izuku caught himself, quickly glancing at the three boys.

Toshi gave him a thumbs up and a signature grin that looked like he just stepped out of Crest White Strips commercial. He turned to me. “Jen, are you okay?”

I let out a slow breath, mindful of my ribs as I squatted down, placing my palms flat on the ground between my legs. “I’m gonna be honest with you here, Tosh, I don’t know how much longer I got in this form.” Slow, steady breaths. Think of happy thoughts, Jen. Like tacos, yeah tacos are gre – my stomach growled painfully and I blanched. Abort, abort, don’t think of tacos!

“I believe in you, young Jen! Just give me a little more time.” He paused as he turned toward the villains. “When this is all over, I will lift the taco ban.”

“Taco ban? What’s that?” Red whispered to the others.

I laughed despite the pain. “Well, shit, Toshi. Why the fuck didn’t you start with that? I woulda fought harder!” I grinned, feeling my palms heating up. The flame wall shot higher before circling around the four boys, trapping them inside.

“H-Hey!”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, bitch?!”

I closed my eyes and hummed, focusing on the sound of the flames. “Don’t get too close, Bakugo, fire is hot.”

“You bitch! Are you fucking working with those guys?! Huh?! Answer me, damn it!”

“That shadow guy did know her name…”

I knew you were a dumbass, Bakugo, but come on. I take back what I said about you being smart! Shit, my concentration is slipping…

“You’re wrong. She’s trying to protect us by preventing us from getting involved.”

Calm spread over me and my arms stopped shaking. Damn, this is gonna be embarrassing, but I need the help. “Oi, Peppermint.”

“My name is Todoroki Shoto,”

“That’s great. Don’t care. Just keep talkin’, will ya?”

“…what?”

“Every time my body starts to shake, say something to me.”

I could hear him shift behind me. “Why?”

For fuck’s sake. “Just fucking do it!” I started coughing, blood splattering onto the ground. Fu~ck, my whole body is hurting. It’s getting harder to breathe. I hope my rib doesn’t puncture my fucking lungs.

“What… should I say?”

“I don’t fucking care,” I groaned, lowering my throbbing head. “Your voice keeps me calm and I can’t afford to lose control here, not now!”

“Hah?! What kind of stupid excuse is that?!”

“Bakugo, I swear to the ruler of hell if you don’t shut up – your voice has the opposite effect!”

“Burn…”

“Shut up, shitty hair!”

“I’ve had enough of this. Nomu, Kurogiri, kill him. I’ll deal with Jen Winchester and the children.”

“Like hell, you will, bastard,” I growled, standing up.

“Let’s clear this level and go home.”

“Heads up, Winchester!” Red yelled as Tomura rushed toward me. I grabbed the dagger from the ground, taking a defensive stance. Let’s see if I can’t create some friends to help me out here.

“Flaming creation!” I yelled, sweeping my left hand through the air. The temperature around me rose as fire spread out around me, forming and molding to take the shape of two flaming tigers on either side of me. Before we could even get close to one another, an overwhelming aura flooded my senses, stopping Tomura in his tracks.

Toshi rushed at Nomu, their fists colliding. The blast sent Tomura flying backward and I fell to my knees, the tigers jumping in front of me to shield me from the force.

“Weren’t you listening? One of his powers is shock absorption.”

“Yeah, and what about it?” They matched each other’s punches, going inhumanly fast, their arms nothing but a blur. How the fuck can they move that fast? My eyes can’t follow them at all. The force coming from the two blew out my flames, the tigers turning to smoke as they fizzled out, but it didn’t matter, the boys were unable to stand.

“Whoah, they’re… so fast!” Red slid back against the ground.

“No, I can’t get near them!” Kurogiri cried.

“He said your quirk was only shock absorption, not nullification,” Toshi commented. “That means there’s a limit to what you can take, right?! So, you were made to fight me, huh, big guy? If you can really withstand me firing at one hundred percent of my power, then I’ll have to go beyond that and force you to surrender!”

Holy fucking tap-dancing tacos, are you even human, Toshi?

He sent Nomu flying into the air before giving chase. “A real hero will always find a way for justice to be served!” He grabbed Nomu mid-air, turning his body in a circle before using the force to slam him down to the earth, the ground shattering beneath him. “Now, for a lesson. You may have heard these words before, but I’ll teach you what they really mean. Go beyond…” he cocked his arm back and I felt a wave of stifling power coming from him. “Plus…” his fist slammed into Nomu’s stomach. “…ULTRA!!”

Nomu went flying, slamming into the ceiling of the dome. The lights exploded around him as his body broke through the glass, the entire dome shaking from the sheer force of the blow.

“That was like the finishing move in a video game… He beat the shock absorption right out of him! I’ve never seen that kind of brute strength.”

“Imagine having power like that… He must have been punching that guy so fast he couldn’t regenerate…”

Goddamn, Toshi.

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📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

[palztothewalls-blog]

It’s the end and the beginning...

“I love the person I’ve become because I fought to become her.”

I’ve made it! Day 14 post op. Thank you for taking this journey along with me. I honestly could never have mustard the strength to do all of this on my own. Here’s a little update of the last few weeks.

Surgery went fairly predictable for being something that has really never been seen. They got to the tumor and it appeared small, until they started removing (decompressing) the bone surrounding it.

(To clear the air of confusion, my tumor from the get go was not going to be removed. It is located in my brain, right at the inner portion of where the ear canal essentially starts. The purpose of leaving the tumor was to provide me the esthetics of having a face with as much normal function as possible. If the tumor was removed, I would have experienced anywhere from 6 months to almost 2 years of severe paralysis that likely would only return to, at best, where I am today with function. So it stays.)

All of the bone was removed and the tumor grew substantially. So in all actuality, my tumor was larger than imaging showed because it was so compressed. When the bone was removed, the tumor expanded greatly in size. My doctor couldn’t give me an exact size but I will find out on my next scan in about six months, just how big it is. All in all, the surgery lasted somewhere between 4-6 hours? I’m not sure. It was a long time.

When I initially woke up, I was quizzed on the basic questions, who was I, where was I, what year, day, month, who was president, how old was I. Basically, I failed them all. Horribly. As you may have read from a previous post, I was a 27 year old unamed woman who had NO idea where she was but I’ll be damned if I got the president right. Obama. Giggles ensued with the staff as they ask again. I was so sure I was right. Shortly after my failed attempt at answering the questions, my family came in the room and I was getting the answers right…. back to ol Trump being the president haha!

So after that challenge, I experienced another, less funny problem. I remember screaming (okay repeating the beautiful word fuck at the top of my lungs) because I was in so much pain. My head hurt, sure, but my biggest complaint was my left shoulder. It was horrible and I was left with minimal function of it. My heart rate was 100-130s and my blood pressure was pretty elevated 150s/90s. Because of all of these complaints, the NP in the ICU had some concerns that I was experiencing symptoms of a heart attack. She had some labs drawn on me, and shocker, they came back elevated. Triponin is a level that shows stress on the heart, and anything >0.12 is indicative of a heart attack. My first level was 0.11. Repeat a couple hours later was 0.12. By this time, it’s the morning after surgery. I had no idea by this time what was going on. The NP came in and told me all of this and said my EKG was normal and long story short, my elevated levels had nothing to do with my heart but was because of the prolonged and aggressive surgery. The levels returned back down to normal on the next draw.

Sometime in the night, about 12 hours after surgery, I had my 18 million IVs saline locked (okay 4), art line out, and foley cath out. I was tickled fucking pink because I was told this would likely be 24 hours after surgery. I was up allllll night walking to the restroom and back. My momma, bless her heart, was up all night with me. It was awesome…. for me to be up and moving. After the heart debacle, I got transferred to the neuro med surg floor and I accepted it as a challenge to get out in 24 hours. I was shot down when I saw the doc in the ICU about the idea of going home, go figure. So I walked my ass off literally all night. Sunday morning, doc came in, took off that horrid compression on my head and gave me the green light to go home. No more than 30 minutes later, 48 hours after surgery, my ass was in the car ready to go. I maaaaaaaay have already had everything packed at like 5 am knowing I was kicking ass haha.

So Sunday was awesome. Monday came. F my LIFE, Monday was hoooooooorrrrrrible. My shoulder pain was pretty much the devil, the pain in my head felt like I had the cast of Drumline in my brain, and I was exhausted. I some how made it through the day knowing Tuesday would be better. WROOOOOONG. It sucked just as bad. Maybe more. But then Wednesday came. And I’ll be darn, I felt alright. This whole time, my parents have been awesome in caring for me, making yummy meals and doing anything and everything to help me. God bless them.

Thursday came and I was ready to go home. From there, it’s only been downhill? Uphill? It’s been awesome. Each day I have felt better and better. My pain is essentially gone. My pre surgery symptoms have almost all disappeared. I no longer feel like I have a 20 pound mass in a 2 pound casing. My memory has finally returned to normal although there are a few things from pre surgery that I can’t remember were real or a dream. I still have pain, but the pain I have is from the trigeminal neuralgia, which is caused by nerve damage (in my case hector pushing on that nerve). I’ll likely always have this pain, but for me, only having this is totally doable.

So, the next step? Hopefully never having to go through this again. If symptoms return, I’ll do the big whammy of a surgery to remove hector and graft a nerve back in the spot. Fingers crossed that never happens!!!

So to finish out what I hope to be my last post about hector, I’m going to share a list I’ve been creating of things you never knew until you have a brain tumor… and surgery. It’s fun to see the progression I made as the list goes on Enjoy!!

Headaches all of the sudden seem scarier because you know they are a sign of a growth in you, of which you have no control over.

People look at you differently. Like long sweet eye gazing looks. Like I have super human powers, or I am so pretty that they can’t stop getting enough of my beauty.

Free stuff. People all of the sudden want to gift you with items, drinks, food. Listen, I am not complaining. This is the best!!

Unsolicited advice. It comes flying in. Try this or try that. Essential oils, rub them on your head. Eat all protein, the ketosis will shrink it. Exorcism. Plexus! Beeeaaacchhh body! Have you tried low carb? How about the spleen of a donkey? Drop it. It’s unsolicited and I don’t want it. Thanks though!

You cry a lot. I mean, I cried a lot prior to my diagnosis because everyone thought I was crazy. Now I cry because I have a flipping brain tumor.

Naming it helps. It really does. Hector is an a-hole. But his little 5 letter name has nothing on me. I’m badass… that’s 6 letters of strength.

Friends and family respond in weird ways. Some look at you like you’re still the same ol spunky ass you are, while others think you’re a delicate flowers, and then those who just can’t even be friends anymore. That’s cool. I don’t need you in my life either, I got this!

That silly cancer “this is my fight” song is all of the sudden totally applicable. Tears. Lots of them. I am a strong woman.

The reality of needing to shave part of your head becomes oh to real. Like my hair?! This?! I JUST grew it out!

“Well thank God it’s not…” “It could be worse.” Literally words you hear constantly but are in no way comforting. True, I’m not going to die tomorrow. BUT, I still have an abnormal growth of cells that, if untreated, will ultimately likely kill me due to pressure on my brainstem. So thank god for that!

Finally having an excuse to stay in. Before people thought I was just making up my fatigue. Now I have a $6000 image to prove why I have fatigue. I should sell that image for art!

It’s like you’re wearing a stamp on your head saying “tell me all your horrible friend/family medical issues.” I’m not sure why this is the case. I mean, it doesn’t help. Should it make me feel better? I’m not sure here.

Blogging is essential. While it means the WORLD to have the support, love, and prayers from everyone, it is extremely exhausting keeping everyone up to date. Blogs fix that. And I happen to love writing so it’s a double win.

Having that “one” friend is key. While people want to support you, they often can’t fulfill the need to your requirements. It’s because they haven’t gone through it. They don’t get it. That’s okay. Find that someone who does get it. They will be your best friend who really gets it. Traci is my gold.

All of your daily fears are gone. Instantly. While I want nothing more than to be a wife and mother, it’s no longer on my mind daily. I just don’t care. Drama is stupid, always has been, but now I really don’t care.

MRIs suck. Bad. Open MRI? Not an option when it’s your brain. And it requires hours of imaging, all the time. I mean, I’m practically a walking nuclear power plant with all of the imaging I’ve had.

Speaking of MRIs. They are loud. Like 10 motorcycles sitting in this tiny little tube with you. And, the beautiful noice makes your insides shake in synchronized rhythm. Word of advice… don’t have one if you have an upset stomach. It’s bad.

You rarely get to wear your own clothes in the MRI. All metal must be out. Usually you get a fashionable moo moo that wraps around 10 times. Super comfy.

Let’s keep on the topic of MRIs. I legitimately feared I was going to be ripped out of this thing by a zombie. Apparently it’s a common fear to have. Who knew?!

You immediately get initiated into this little “special” group of people. I have met people from all over this country within a few weeks. It provides for great friendship and resources for doctors that may fit you well for your specific type of tumor.

Every day, you say to yourself “I have a brain tumor.” Every single day. Initially, it was every second of every day. It was literally all I could think. Now it’s maybe once or twice a day. A random thought about it, mostly just when someone else brings it up, and then move on with life.

It never gets easier to say though. I have a brain tumor. Nope. Never easier. Just starts to roll of the tongue easier lol.

I have a lot of anxiety, now a million times worse knowing what I know.

I really hate talking about Hector. A lot. It makes my anxiety escalate through the roof.

Appointments. The devil. Impending doom. What will the next step be? I certainly can’t sleep before them.

While speaking of appointments, one must paint their toenails before the neurology appointments. It NEVER FAILS, the nurse will say “take off your shoes and socks and the doctor will be right in.”

Then there’s brain surgery. You hope you get some superpower from it. Me? I wanted to come out speaking fluent French or Spanish. No such luck.

Brain surgery really is that bad, initially, but after a few days, life gets better and you start feeling like you again.

Remember that fear of shaving your head? It’s gone after you do it. Now you have a badass scar that provides endless amounts of strength.

I love my scar. It’s beautiful to me. I’m not ashamed, and you should never be ashamed of a battle fought hard, no matter if the scar is inside or outside.

All those appointments you had before surgery, you will still have them, and imaging all the time after. Will it ever stop? No.

Everyone compares their bad days to my bad days, and it helps them feel better. While I am happy my illness helps you have a better day, it doesn’t matter what the battle is, it’s you conquering and moving forward with life.

May you never forget that. Don’t ever compare your battles in life and try to belittle or expand the severity based on someone else’s life. This is your battle, your life. Fight on. Be strong. Have faith. There will come a day when you wake up after the battle is over and find that joy and peace you’ve been searching and asking for.

After 12 ½ years of battling and advocating, I sign off and pray I never have to return to this blog. Much love to you all and Hector, go to hell!

[tigercooki]

Thor Ragnarak

Ok, so apparently this movie is getting so much love and appreciation, when it’s not very good. There are some good parts, but for the most part the movie was disappointing for me, (a very big Thor fan) to the point where I’m a mixture of angry and upset. Most of the people watching this movie don’t remember the last Thor movies, but I actually liked the Thor movies and was hoping something similar and even a lot better than Dark World, but BOY was I wrong. Nothing like it. Nothing like the first or second one.

I’m all fine with the difference in tone, the new characters, and even the ending. But the way they handled this movie was disgraceful and a slap to the face. I don’t care if a black man directed it, I don’t care if it’s a “new wave” in marvel movies, a “new look”, it’s not cohesive with the other movies. It’s a one-time movie that’s really stupid and won’t be able to match up with any other Thor movie in the past or future. Honestly this was a fan fiction that came to life and it doesn’t look good. I’ve made a full list of things I liked and did not like in this movie, I will be editing this over time. Btw, this is going to be extensive, just jump to the things I hate if you want to disagree.

SPOILERS ahead

Things I liked: 

1. That one scene where Thor puts his hammer in the fire monster’s mouth to stop it, that was funny, liked that. 2. When Thor comes back to his home (Scurge running after him when he flies away lol), figures out Loki’s trick, and the way he reveals Loki’s enchantment. That was a good scene.  3. Loki’s new look/outfits, he looks awesome throughout this movie, and so does Thor. I LOVED Thor’s new look, his cut hair was hot. 4. Everything about Doctor Strange’s scenes in this movie. Dr. Strange and Thor taking to each other was actually good and funny, and Loki’s scene where he fell was really good/funny too. 5. Odin’s passing, was a good scene. 6. Hela’s outfit (not including makeup), her personality, her destroying Mjolnir, her taking Scurge in to work for her. 7. The rainbow teleport scene where Loki and Thor fall out and end up somewhere else, that was cool. 8. The idea of a junkyard planet with weird idea of time; I liked the time thing. 9. The entrance of the Valkyrie warrior, the IDEA of Valkyrie, the backstory is AMAZING. A very good call. 10. Thor’s seriousness in his conversation with screen Loki, trying to show Loki that he was a dick. 11. When Thor messages Heimdall. Fucking love him in this movie, some of the best scenes. 12. Thor’s lightning/thunder powers in the fight, and how the grand master stopped him before he won. 13. When Hela explains her and Odin’s history. Information about the weapons. The idea of her skeleton army and her wolf. 14. Hulk? Maybe? ??? I like how Hulk wasn’t speaking amazing sentences, and that he helped Thor with the idea of leaving. 15. Loki helping Thor escape. 16. Loki betraying Thor again, yet comes back to him again. It’s character development, small but something. 17. Trying to reach the big portal, (I REFUSE to call it what they named it. It was fucking ridiculous.) the ship fights. 18. ITS MY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY!!!!!!! 19. The people are the source of Asgard, not the place, which is cool. 20. Valkyries outfit (wish she had a sword with it, not a machine gun??) 21. Thor’s fight with Hela, and the dialogue when he sits in the throne. Still love his lighting powers (I also actually like how he lost his eye, wish they made it look better). 21. How surge turns his back on Hela. 21. The big fire guy destroys Asgard, which is awesome.

Things I did not like/abhorred/wanted changed:

1. THE MOVIE STARTED WITH FUCKING DIALOGUE. THE, “You’re wondering how I got here” SHIT. I KNOW HE WAS TALKING TO A SKELETON, BUT IT DOESN”T CHANGE THE FACT. I DID THAT DIALOGUE IN MY FIRST FUCKING BOOK, WHICH WAS HORRIBLE BTW. No excuses.

2. Thor’s “funny” moments. They were awkward (maybe a little awkward funny, but not by a lot), even from the beginning of the movie. What they should have done was made him a little bit serious talking to this fire demon thing (maybe crack a joke, but he shouldn’t be the joke); the fire demon person is serious in a serious setting, so match the tone a little. It looks like a bad fan fiction scene again, where they go, “I’m going to destroy you, I will have the power soon.”, “LoL I WiLl HaVe tHe PoWR SoOn”, then the super hero overpowers it. No struggle, nothing to make it interesting. Just Mary Suing his way to breaking out, or at least making the “funny” struggle look cringey.

3. Now, I don’t mind Heimdall being banished and a new funny guy is there and trying to please the ladies, but the slapstick, chopping the head off scene of the monster so that it “goos” the girls was fucking stupid, it wasn’t even funny and was pointless.

4. THE F-U-C-K-I-N-G IGNORING of the important romantic subplot made and mentioned in FOUR FUCKING MOVIES. It was my favorite romantic subplot in all of the Marvel movies. And not even a back-flash of her, not a tear, or even sadness for their breakup, it’s been two years (which is nothing for Asgardians btw) but we get fucking NOTHING, no emotions from Thor, who said she was “Oh so important”. We only got an arrogant Thor trying to convince himself he broke up with her to save his “pride”. It wasn’t funny. It was stupid way to cut an important character from the past movies. What the actual fuck? Oh, and this also means no Darcy. Fuck you whoever made this movie and thought that was a good idea. This is a movie, a backstory or a dream about an emotional breakup while he was in prison would’ve added to the story, would’ve made sense. But noooooo, it was a “fuck you!” to the audience. 

5. Hela’s entrance. It wasn’t good, it needed to be darker and more dramatic, also darker background music, and maybe darker skies. 

6. The death of the hero’s three. What the actual fuck. You ALL know this one, the scene where they die in the blink of an eye. They could’ve put them anywhere while a random warrior was at the sword to be killed, then Scurge could’ve been a little scared and bowed slowly or said something (the “I’m just a janitor” phrase was stupid). They could’ve been in the background, or one of them killed but passed a message to protect the citizens to help Heimdall. But their deaths were in vain and stupidly ignored, to the point where it made me INFURIATED.

7. The moment Thor was slapstick “shocked” (shocked my electricity, even though he controls lightning and thunder) by the looter aliens.

8. Valkyrie’s attitude throughout this movie may have seemed “strong” or like she had reason for her lack of empathy, but no, her reason was because of her bad decisions and lack of caring only. Now I would’ve loved this if we got an emotional scene from her explaining this and then saying “I finally have hope now”, but do we get something like that? FUCK to the N-O, we get her talking about it really fast, like a fucking funny after-thought because they were running out of time. This was a serious and intriguing character but turned her emotions and choices for humor and people who want “a strong and hot” female character. I wanted more real from her, but alas, another character ruined and lessened by bad writing. (And also, I REALLY wanted her to use a Valkarie sword, but what the fuck do we get? A machine gun for the guys to drool over. We get fucking fan service in this movie. They are on an alien planet and she gets a machine gun? Not even an awesome laser gun, or maybe a laser shooting sword, or nothing awesome, we get a machine gun for one of the “badass” ladies.)

9. The rock guy is annoying as fuck, like another Jar-Jar Binks. I like how his voice is softer compared to the masculine body, but everything he says is annoying and of no use.

10. Banner. Bruce Banner really does ruin this movie, he’s just there to make cringey jokes and slapstick humor, like the “I think I know you from somewhere?”, “I think I know you too, weird” joke and how he jumped out of the plane and hit the rainbow bridge for humor. Like, it wasn’t funny, it just looked like it hurt.

11. The undead army was a cool idea, but it turned into annoying mess. They stood or ran around looking stupid instead of actually doing things, and every camera angle on them was very ugly. I know why, because there were so many individual skeletons that the artists/designers didn’t want to do more work on the details, and so they made the angles on them very far away, above or minimal so they could focus on something else. Not many people noticed, but oh goodness I noticed. I was excited for the details and design of them but I was majorly disappointed.

12. I still hate the name of the evil swirling vortex. The Devils Anus? What the actual fuck. What the hell were they thinking.

 The movie was a cluttered, stupid, bad fanfiction made to be a “funny and fun blockbuster for the family!’ without thinking of the past story/fans. And I saved the best two things for last:

1.     The more I wrote this, the more I realized. There was no important reason for the Hulk to be in this movie, except to have another big cameo of an avenger. The only other reason was because they needed someone stronger then Thor so Thor could unleash his power for the first time, but they could’ve made another monster just as strong. They could’ve had Valkyrie realize that Thor could be her way out, and go. Banner was DEFINITELY not needed. At all, he was just cringey slapstick humor, and only 11 year olds found it funny. Cringe =/= funny.

2.     The fucking colors in this movie. It’s disgusting. It looks awful, everything doesn’t match the other Thor movies, and the only thing it matches is Dr. Strange and Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s too bold and ugly ALL the time, there were very few scenes that looked nice. I really wish they would fix it one day, but the choices are for a cluttered, “fun and action packed movie!”.

[splattershotsundae]

Better Eight than never --- Chapter 37: Stop being meme to me!

“I’d be careful if I were you~!” Orvokki taunted, causing Jill’s body to wave.

Toda felt Simon begin to tremble with fear and rage, he’d never known they could be this mad…

“Let her go!” They shouted.

“I wouldn’t take that tone!” Orvokki said, and then Jill’s arm twisted back on itself, causing her to scream.

Toda braced himself as he felt Simon stand, and then a wave of dizziness crashed over them and sent them careening toward the floor. He just managed to make them extend a hand to catch themselves the impact. ‘Simon, are you okay?’

‘No!’ They replied immediately. ‘Jill’s in trouble, she’s hurting!’

‘You can’t take on Orvokki like this, we’ll think of something!’ Toda reassured, his own mind racing. There had to be something he could do...

"Stop hurting her!” Bato yelped. “What is it that you want?"

"Kneel, and disarm yourselves." Orvokki said.

Orvokki was water, and in Jill’s head. She’d been able to hold on well in the past, but somehow Orvokki was stronger… but he was water too…

‘Toda, finish your sentences, what do you want to try?’

Toda took a second to gather his thoughts. ‘If... if I could get out of your head now, the way he could, I could... I could try and get Orvokki out of hers; She's been in my head too, I might know how to get her out... but I don't know if it works like that, there's every chance I would only hurt her more, and I don't know how long I've been in yours, what if you splat when I try to leave? There might not be a spawner close enough for you to...’

Simon started to get up to their knees. ‘Do whatever you have to do, I can take it! Jill needs help right now.’

He hesitated, then made them nod slightly. ‘Okay.’ He tried to think, how could he leave Simon's body? When Yuri had left his, they were in his subconscious, and he'd been dragged away by his own fear; he was pretty sure that wouldn't work here. Well... he'd imagined himself rising back to consciousness... maybe it was like that, except he would just keep going? Maybe… a super jump? That seemed like it would work. There wasn't much time, he had to try something. ‘Brace yourself.’ he directed one last thought at Simon, then tensed, aimed, and sprang forward.

As he flew through the air he was met with cold, filtered air, a dull gray world, and the sound of Simon shrieking behind him. He gritted his beak, but didn’t have much time to regret what he did before he slammed into Jill’s head.

There was a moment of stillness… before Toda heard a voice.

‘Well. This is unprecedented. I never thought of such a thing, this could open a whole new set of outcomes and algorithms to calculate… In theory this would be more dangerous as well, especially if Y-1 is as capable as a surface test showed.’

He could feel her nearby, but he couldn’t see her, like being shoved into a dark closet. Likewise, his surroundings felt disorienting, nothing was where he felt like it should be, and he realized he’d just had Jill shout ‘Snickerdoodle’ accidentally.

‘Toda? Is that Toda? You keep calling me Y-3, Y-1 must be Toda, is Y-2 Simon?! Forget it! Just give it back! Give me back my body!’ That was obviously Jill, she was scared and in pain, her head hurt so much from him being here, he had to act quickly.

‘Get out of Jill's head, you sick freak!’ He ‘shouted’ then cringed as he felt tentacles wrap around him and pin him against some invisible wall.

‘What I do is my business Y-1.’ Orvokki huffed.

Toda struggled against Orvokki’s grasp, trying to wrap his own tentacles around hers and keep a firm grip on them. ‘When you're hurting my friends it's my business too! Now leave, before I have to drag you out!’

‘Ow ow shut up!’ Jill stumbled backward and fell down against the wall, fists clenched in pain.

‘I won’t be silenced! The both of you shall die together!’ Orvokki shouted. Jill’s tentacles flipped up over her mouth and nose, and squeezed much like a snake who’d just caught prey.

‘No stop it let me go!’ Jill cried out as she tried to pull the tentacles off of her face. ‘Toda, do something!!!’ He could see Bato trying to help on the outside, but Orvokki seemed to have anchored herself quite firmly in Jill's head, and wouldn’t budge. He had to catch her off guard.

He ran through his own mind, and thought of the first random thing that popped into his mind. A few days ago, he’d watched the Lego Movie with Hachi. He just had to--

‘EVERYTHING IS AWESOME! EVERYTHING IS COOL WHEN YOU'RE PART OF A TEAM!’

He felt Orvokki falter. ‘What is this!? What is this squid propaganda!?’

"EVERYTHING IS AWESOME, WHEN YOU'RE LIVING A DREEEEAAAMMM~"

Toda felt a bit smug, and tried to bring up something else, a picture of a pet staring at the camera. ‘Wow, much cruel, very invade privacy’

Orvokki’s grip on his tentacles tightened, and he felt a surge coming from her. ‘I have memories of my own, Y-1!’

All of a sudden Toda was faced with a surge of fear. It was like ones that he’d felt in increasing frequency lately, the type of fear that came in a life or death situation. He saw an inkling strapped to a table, screaming as a machine over them drew ink from their body--

‘Stop!’ He shouted, forcing himself to think of more random thoughts. ‘WHO WANTS A MUFFIN!? Caaaarrameldansen, ooh ohhh owa owa! Papyrus realizes he doesn't have ears. I don’t always reference memes, but when I do I do it way too much.’

‘What even is a ‘meme’?!’ Orvokki demanded, forcing a memory of what she’d done to one of her victims back at him.

‘TODA, SHE’S HURTING ME!’ Jill screamed.

These thoughts bombarded him, and he shied back, grip loosening. He was just making this worse. He was just having Orvokki fight back harder. Jill was loosing air quickly, this was getting him nowhere… Maybe if he stopped resisting she’d stop hurting her...

“C’mon, you got this…!”

Toda tensed. Bato. He was cheering them on as he tried to pull Jill’s tentacles off her face. He couldn’t give up now, Jill needed his help. He tightened his grip on Orvokki’s tentacles and crouched down. It had worked the first time, he was going to jump out of here, and pull Orvokki with him!

‘What!? Let go of me!’ Orvokki said. She tried to pull away from him, but his grip was too strong, he jumped forward, knocking Jill’s tentacles away from her mouth like a cork from a bottle.

Once more there was a free falling moment, cold, dry air surrounded him, but then he felt embodied again, tumbling against the floor. He briefly heard Simon crying out, but he was struggling to get his barrings. Orvokki was still with him, and he… was still gripping her? No, she was still gripping him-- Filled with horror, he found that his tentacles had fused with Orvokki’s, tying them together.

‘Look what you did!’ Orvokki snapped. ‘We have no skin, our limbs have incorporated each other, don’t you understand the health risks this could pertain!?’

‘Yeah? Well don’t you know the health risks to entering someone’s fucking brain?’ Toda retorted.

‘Toda?’

Toda paused and felt around briefly, then cringed. He was in Bato’s mind! ‘I’m so sorry!’

‘I can handle it, take care of Orvokki!’ Even as he said this though, he was digging his fingers into the floor in an attempt to stop them from shaking. He had only bought himself a little bit of time.

‘Stop getting in my way!’ Orvokki said, forcing memories of one of her previous encounters onto Bato, the pain she’d caused them before their inevitable demise.

‘I know what you’ve done Orvokki, you’re not going to get through to me that easily!’ Bato huffed, but Toda could tell he was still straining regardless.

‘Hey Bato, wiggly!’ He said quickly, and then all of Orvokki’s memories were forced away as they both remembered a brief memory, of the two of them when they were still pretty little; they were eating jello, and still being little toddlers at the time they'd both found it incredibly amusing to watch how much it jiggled if you shook the plate, and little Bato had had fun imitating it. And like many things throughout the years, it just sort of stuck.

‘Well, keep trying, Autobutt!’ Bato chimed.

Another memory, the two of them during the Transformers Splatfest, the way they'd laugh along with everyone they teamed up with when their 'Squad' name was read aloud, the way Jill and Simon had laughed when they'd explained it to them just two days ago... That day seemed so distant, just like everything that Orvokki was trying to force on them. They were so close, their shared fond memories kept flitting around like butterflies. The day they decided to form a squad, their first victory with Jill and Simon, a sleepover several years ago when they’d slept in a makeshift tent they made in the living room, the time they’d tried to make cookies and they’d mixed up half a teaspoon with half a tablespoon of salt and had to start over.

‘Oh dang, I actually forgot about that one.’ Bato laughed.

Toda huffed a little. ‘Well, you didn’t try to eat the batter!’

Just then, fear struck. They remembered the park. Bato fell from the tree, slamming his head against a rock on the ground with a sickening crunch, one which they’d never figured out why it had happened.

Bato groaned in agony from the memory, fingers clawing at the floor again.

‘I didn’t do that!’ Toda said quickly, his attention drawn to Orvokki. She’d seen that memory… Oh no.

‘I see… so what if I had more of your memories?’ She asked, then sprang at him.

Toda yelped as he felt Orvokki try to enter his head, was that even possible, given the circumstances?! He pushed back, gritting his beak from the effort. If they had to fuse completely to save Bato, then so be it!

As soon as he had that thought, Bato seemed to vanish away. He felt like he was in an entirely alien landscape, which was rapidly filling with fear. This wasn’t supposed to happen, this hadn’t been her intention at all.

Oh Judd. she hadn't gotten into his mind. He'd gotten into hers. While she was in Bato's. Possess-ception.

‘That portmanteau doesn’t even make sense!’ Orvokki declared. ‘And just because things haven’t gone according to my plan doesn’t mean I don’t have the upper hand!’

Toda cringed as he felt the memories of Orvokki’s experiments bombard him. He had nowhere to run, he was alone, he saw people bleeding, screaming, he felt her exhilaration and joy as it happened, and it made him feel nauseous. How could anyone feel happy seeing this? Revenge. That thought just came out of nowhere, like she’d answered it without wanting to. ‘Revenge for what!?’ Toda demanded.

‘For her.’

He saw her laughing smile. Her name was Olwen, and in the briefest of moments, he felt like he knew everything about her, and he knew that she was gone forever. For a moment he felt guilt, she was grieving.

He made himself shake this feeling off. ‘Someone dying is no excuse to do something like this! Would she want this!?’

A brief hesitation. He saw Olwen working alongside Orvokki. He saw them building the machine, the one which turned people to water, keeping notes, suggesting hypothesizes.

‘She would want the furthering of science, she would want to answer the questions of the universe and see our research come to fruition.’ Orvokki said. ‘Yes. She would want this.’

‘Oh. Yeah, sure enough.’ Toda cringed. That hadn’t worked. There had to be something else he could do. What was she doing? She seemed to be ignoring him now for the most part… Wait, octolings had five brains, and he was only in one of them! What was she doing right now!? He fought against her to see outside, and saw that she was using her other brains to flail her tentacles around, hurting Bato more and more. ‘NO!’ He screamed, managing to grab hold of one of her tentacles and using it to pin another ‘down’.

‘Be still Y-1! I’ll deal with you shortly!’ Orvokki huffed, wrenching control away from him again.

‘I won’t!’ Toda said. Random thoughts didn’t work, neither did talking, and he was separated from Bato’s reassurance. She claimed to be a scientist... Could he use her curiosity to his advantage? Still trying to take control of her tentacles, he tried a different approach. ‘Hey, Orvokki! Did you know that my Monochromacy helped against Yuri?’ He asked.

‘What?’ Orvokki replied.

Like throwing a stick for a dog, Toda spewed facts about his colorblindness off to the side, and he felt her attention drastically shift.

‘Only 1 in 30,000 squidlings was affected with his eye condition? Intriguing...’ He heard her murmur. ‘Monochromacy can mean you can only see one color, like blue, or you might only be able to see black  and white, what an interesting classification...’

Toda kept feeding her facts, struggling to wrench control of her limbs away from her. C’mon…! He grabbed control of one tentacle, and thrust it forward, out of Bato, and then suctioned it to his face. That was one step!

‘What the-- No! I refuse to be outsmarted by a single-brained squid!’ Orvokki exclaimed.

Toda felt himself become more disconnected, and he gritted his beak and held on as hard as he could, grabbing onto a second tentacle and forcing that one outside as well. ‘Hey, Orvokki, is the answer to this question ‘no’?’

‘I’m not a computer, of course not!’ Orvokki exclaimed, but she was still thinking it over, her grip briefly loosening on him.

He lashed one more tentacle outside, and felt something tug. Simon! He made her tentacles wrap around their hand, and then pulled.

‘NOOOOO!!!’ Orvokki screamed as the pair were pulled outside into the lab once more, and Toda felt very briefly safe… until Simon flung Orvokki across the room, causing them to splash into a puddle on the floor.

“What did you do to Toda!?” Simon shouted. “Where is he!?”

‘You can’t hold onto me forever squidling…’ Orvokki said to him. ‘And you can’t leave me, or I’ll just attack you again… whatever will you do?’

Toda shuddered a little, and had Orvokki compose herself, and then transformed her to a humanoid form. She was right, he felt exhausted already, he couldn’t hold on forever… he jumped back as the end of a brush was held right in front of his face.

“Answer me!” Simon said, brandishing Bato’s brush. “Where’s Toda!?”

“I’m right here!” He managed to say. “I’m here, I’m in her head!”

Simon stared, momentarily uncomprehending, then slowly lowered the brush. “Toda?”

“Yes!” He exclaimed, then leaned back sharply as thoughts swirled around him.

[You have (1) new messages from (Oshea Cromwell)]

‘What? Who's Oshea?’

Two of Orvokki's tentacles twitched. Ophelia never contacted anyone directly. It was always through Oshea. Something big was happening. Had happened. Something. ‘Don't you DARE read it squidling!’

There was a loud bang from the door, and it began to buckle. “We’re running out of time!” Stacey called.

‘You know what, I think I will, octoling!’ Toda retorted, thinking hard about opening the message.

[Miss Vitrel

You have been summoned to the golden kettle with posthaste.

Signed by

Oshea Cromwell]

‘Wait what? The golden kettle is open!?’ Orvokki asked.

‘What does that mean?’ Toda demanded.

Orvokki didn’t try to reply, but he heard it anyway, it meant that she was going to meet with the queen. He didn’t really like the sound of that.

Bato staggered to his feet, then walked up to them. “Where does that drain in the basin go?”

Orvokki thought about it once again, without Toda having to pressure her.

“Those pipes are filled with water, it’s not safe.” Toda said. “They go all around the facility, but there’s no way you guys can go through there.”

"Did she tell you all that?" Stacey asked.

"She thought about it when Bato asked her." Toda replied.

"Orvokki, what's your rank?" Stacey asked.

Class 2 elite- ‘Stop it!’

"Class 2 Elite." Toda relayed.

Stacey smirked. "We can use her to walk right out of here. She's high ranking. They have to at least listen to her. And she's under our control."

"Just have to parrot her replies..." Simon finished. They cast a glance at Toda. "But can you do it?"

"Yeah, I think so." Toda replied. ‘And if you try and make me screw up and put them all in danger, then I'm going to make things hell for you, he told Orvokki, I'm the one in your brain now, and you've given me some pretty good tips already.’ It was unlike him to be so brutal, but he was exhausted and afraid of what would happen to everyone if things went wrong...

The door creaked sharply, and Jill winced. It was the first time he’d gotten a clear look at her in a while, she looked pretty shaky and rough around the edges. "We're going to need to try to look like she detained us."

"Right." Toda agreed, carefully making Orvokki walk to the center of the room.

" 'Kneel and disarm yourselves'." Bato quoted quietly, slowly kneeling, though he didn’t look much better off than Jill. The others began to follow his lead.

‘I refuse! I refuse to just let you deprive me of my power SQUIDLING!’ Orvokki yelled, making them sway and almost tip over. ‘This will never work, you don’t even have the right posture!’

‘Well, I refuse to let you refuse. Wait, right posture?’ Toda asked.

"Straighten your back." Bato hissed.

Toda blinked, then stood up as straight as this watery body could manage, right as the door buckled and fell inward.  Octolings streamed into the room, several stopping and saluting when they saw Orvokki, others fanning out and securing the room. Several clustered around the scientist, who was now unconscious on the floor, and aimed their weaponry at them, just to be safe.

Orion strode in, with another octoling, Oana, like he owned the place, expression in his usual disdain. His gaze rested on Orvokki, and his frown deepened. “You’re out.”

'Not my choice' She thought.

Toda was preeeeety sure that parroting that back wasn't a good idea, so he tried to rephrase it. "It was important."

"Obviously. What happened, where's Y-1?" Orion asked flatly.

Orvokki almost thought that was funny. ‘In my head. Look closer. How are you feeling squidling? Am I helping you escape yet?’

Toda was starting to get concerned about how this was going to work out. He thought quickly, finally answering with a short. "Dead." And nodding to a purple ink splatter on the other side of the room. “These squidlings thought he was me.”

‘You know.’  He said to Orvokki. ‘I'm pretty sure it wouldn't go over well for you if your colleagues found out you were overpowered by a squidling. Especially with that... summons? That you just got? So maybe you should actually try and help?’

Orvokki froze. A fear settled in. She could lose everything couldn't she? They... couldn't replace her on such short notice though. Even though they had Onella... Ugh! Why did she tell her so much!? It was her job to, they had to have two!

‘Two, two for what!?’ Toda asked.

Orion gave a slight nod at the octolings by the splatter, and they fired, changing it to octarian purple. Thank goodness nobody was hiding in there. "You better get ready. I look forward to seeing your performance. I know you've been practicing." He then pointed at the row of disarmed squids by the wall. “Put Y-2 and Y-3 back into storage, execute the others.”

“Wait!” Toda shouted before he could help it. He then shuddered as he was faced with Orion’s steely glare. “I… still need those two for testing!”

“What sort of tests?” Orion asked, tentacles swishing.

‘Orvokki, I can’t come up with something, if you don’t help, I swear to Judd I’m going to rat you out!’ Toda snapped.

‘Give me my mouth.’ Orvokki demanded.

Toda hesitated a second; what if she betrayed what was really going on? ... But he didn't have any better ideas. ‘Don't say anything to give this away or you’ll pay dearly’  He said, letting her have control of her mouth again, but ready to take it back if he needed to.

“Someone contaminated my lab with sodium hypochlorite, and it may have gotten into my body, and by extension these heinous squids.” Orvokki said. “And I need to do some tests on them before I can do the performance, or I could die!”

“What is Sodium hyperchlorite?” Orion huffed.

“BLEACH!” Orvokki snapped. “Why don’t I pour some down your throat and see how you like it?” She asked.

“If I were you I would watch your tongue.” Orion snarled.

“And if you were me, you would be furious that someone put poison in my laboratory! Who did this!?” She demanded.

A few of the octolings around, the ones which had been working in her lab, started to look extremely awkward.

"Who did this?! You should KNOW the effects that compound has on my body! If you all make me look like a FOOL because of your petty mistake, I will personally make sure you never get a single ration again!!" She snapped.

“I-I’m sorry...” One octoling whispered.

Orion snapped his fingers and gestured out of the room, the octoling who'd spoken up darted out, awfully pale.

Orvokki then quickly continued. "The sooner you get out, through my BROKEN-" A few octolings jumped at this. "-door, the sooner we can all call it early. Unless you want the MC herself to be furious for ruining her show!"

Several octolings ran out of the room, though Orion didn't quite look like he believed her, but after a short pause… "The same applies to you, might I remind you." He gestured for two octolings to stay, then briskly walked from the room, other troops carrying out the unconscious scientist behind him.

‘… Well done.’ Toda admitted grudgingly.

Orvokki gave a slight frown. ‘I get what I want. Usually.’

The two octolings stepped forward and saluted, only for Stacey to suddenly sweep her legs and knock both of them over like bowling pins, she then flipped around and slammed her heels into their heads to knock them unconscious. “… Th… That wasn’t Toda...” She concluded as she flopped out on the floor.

Bato nodded slowly. “Agreed.”

"It... was an emergency." Toda made her say, tone a little sheepish.

‘I'll be missed if you don't let me go soon, squidling.’ Orvokki reminded. ‘I have more important things to control.’ She tried to be subtle about it, but 'siren' and '1' passed rather quickly through her head.

Toda blinked. ‘Wait, Callie's here? I mean, 1? Where is she? ‘

Several possible places for both Callie and Marie passed through her head, but nothing definitive. ‘That's it squidling. I've had enough!’ She wasn't sure if what she’d planned would work, but she seemed determined to try.

‘Try what!?’ Toda demanded.

Just then, he felt her tentacles shift, and then the tips plunged inward, into her own head. Toda screamed in agony as the tentacles wrapped around him, and then flung him out onto the ground.

"Ugh.... Finally…" Orvokki murmured, stumbling to the drain. "It's been fun, squids. Maybe we'll officially meet later, Y-2." And with that she transformed, vanishing down the pipes.

“Get back here!” Simon snapped, pouncing at the drain, too late to catch Orvokki. “Damn it...”

Toda gathered himself up and transformed, fists clenched. “I let her get away...” He muttered, a little startled at how gurgly his voice was.

“We need to get out o—AAHHH!” Jill yelped, clapping her hands over her mouth. “Toda! Y-You’re…!”

“I know...” He said. “I don’t like it either...”

“Um.. Toda, no, not the water...” Simon said.

"What?" He asked, looking between her and Simon... Something was off, but he couldn't quite place it...

Bato frowned and took a few steps closer, seeming to tower over him as he got close. "You're tiny, dude." He said bluntly.

Toda’s eyes widened and he looked himself over. Apparently Orvokki had taken a toll on him as well. "... Oh."

"D-Does it... Hurt?" Jill asked cautiously.

"I don't... think so." He replied slowly. He was hurting a little, but that might've just been from being thrown... Maybe?

“I read Orvokki’s journal.” Bato said. “We can try to find some water for you to swim in, that should help you... Refill? Like an ink tank?"

“I don’t know if we have time...” Toda said.

“If you don’t, you’ll evaporate!” Bato said hurriedly. “I can’t let that happen!”

Toda stopped for a moment, then looked around. “… The only place with water is that tap, and I can’t swim there, or I might go down the drain like Orvokki.”

“Fill up that tank on your back, Bato!” Jill pointed out.

Bato hesitated, then nodded, pulling a containment tank off his back, and then after fiddling with it, opened it up and filled it with water before turning back to Toda.

He took a long look at the tank, then sighed. “Okay, but don’t close it.” He said, then squidded and jumped in.

The splash felt so soothing, his aches all began to fade as he swam in small circles. It felt wonderful...

“Stacey, how are you doing?" Bato asked.

Stacey gave a light sigh. "Everything hurts... And I'm going to have a lot to explain to my dad... But we're all alive... That's a plus. Jill is... right though, we need to... get... get out of here before these... two guards are missed."

“I got an idea, we can dress up as them!” Jill exclaimed. “Just like Bato!”

“There’s only two of them, and three of us. Four, if you count Toda.” Simon pointed out. “We’d have to be clever.”

“Once Toda’s done with the tank, I can carry Stacey in it.” Bato said. “And before you argue, you can barely stand, you shouldn’t be cartwheeling people right now.”

Stacey sighed. “I know, just please be gentle.”

“Also, those masks won’t work unless they’re hacked. I’ve been around Hachi, I might be able to figure it out.” Bato added.

“That sounds like a good idea.” Simon said.

Once the pain seemed to have subsided, Toda jumped out of the tank and de-squidded, a single ripple going over his body like a shudder. He side stepped over to Bato and looked himself over. “… Well, I’m still shorter than you, but at least now I’m the right sort of shorter.”

Bato huffed and tipped the tank out into the drain, leaving it upside-down to dry out a little while he worked on the masks.

Toda turned back to the group. "They have the Sisters." He said grimly, "I think Orvokki is planning on trying to control Callie."

"Ugh.... No.…" Stacey groaned, trying to sit up.

Simon grimaced. "Why am I even surprised."

"Is... Is there anything we can do?!" Jill asked.

"I don't know." Toda shook his head. "I tried to ask her where they were, but she thought of a few different places, not one in particular..."

"... 'Performance'..." Simon said slowly. “Orion mentioned a show.”

"Oh Judd..." Stacey stiffened. "Ophelia is putting on a show... If they're going to be anywhere, it's... Probably there… I went to the DJ’s performance last year, and I only just made it out of there alive. It’s going to be packed, and if anyone figures out who we are… we’re dead. But… everyone will be invited. The rest of the domes will be deserted.”

Toda rippled again, then frowned a bit. "Orvokki was supposed to meet her, I think. She got a message saying something about the kettle being open? A... Golden kettle?"

Bato looked up. "There... Was a gold-colored kettle, in one of the other domes... And it was closed when we--," He broke off.

".... We?" Simon asked.

Bato hesitated, glancing at the unconscious octolings for the second, then muttered. "... Hachi. She's the one that got me out of this facility to begin with, and the one that got me back in."

"Why?" Jill slowly asked. "Why would she do that?"

"She said she did some... Illegal searching on Yuri.” He explained. "She didn't know about the whole... In-people's-heads part. And she didn't like it when she found out."

"Can't blame her." Toda muttered.

"So you're saying you trust her again?" Simon snapped.

"I didn't exactly have a choice." Bato replied, his tone even. "I'm sure there was more that she didn't tell me. But I wouldn't have been able to get this far if it wasn't for her."

Simon took a deep breath, then let it out slowly in almost a growl.

"No time." Stacey said quietly. "We need to keep working on our plan.”

Bato glanced at Stacey, then nodded as he unscrewed the back of one of the guard’s masks."I... Don't have access to a map anymore." He said slowly. "The mask she hacked for me only had access to the main area, and they cut out Orvokki's journal."

"Keep the... Journal anyway." Stacey said, trying again to sit up. "… Could be something valuable on it."

Toda began to pace. There was no way they could disguise him… would he… have to go back into one of their heads? He cringed at the thought.

“Hey guys, good news! This person’s shoes fit perfectly on my feet!” Jill exclaimed. “Man, Octolings have great taste in boots! I love it!”

Simon shook their head. “Oh Jill…”

“Someone’s got to have the smile!” Jill said. “And that’s me. Come on, let’s put on these clothes, fit the part!”

Simon paused, then nodded, pulling the boots off the other octoling. “… You know, Toda...”

Toda glanced at them, then looked away again, "... We'll think of something else. I won't... I'm not going to..."

Simon sighed. "There’s not going to be another option. Just be careful, it’ll only be until we get back to the surface.”

Toda rubbed his arm. "... I won't make you do it. I won't make anyone do it."

Simon laced the shoes, slowly thinking. "... We need to get out of here. What will we all do without each other?... I... I'm willing to do it for you."

Toda looked at them for a moment, then sort of ‘sighed’. "If you're sure." He said quietly.

“Hey guys, which way’s the front of this armor?” Jill asked.

“The curved side. The flat side’s the back.” Bato said. He was on to the second mask by now.

“Got it.” Jill said. “How are we going to hide our tentacles?”

“I see some tentacle caps over there on the wall.” Simon said. “We should be able to look slightly less suspicious in those.”

“I’ll get them!” Toda said, running over and picking up two of the caps for a few moments before they both sunk through his hands. He went silent for a second, then gave a little snort... which sounded pretty weird in this state. "Probably should've expected that."

Jill looked up. "Was... That you snorting?" She asked. "Like, as in laughing? "

Simon covered their mouth for a moment. “Judd, that was adorable.”

Toda blinked, then felt himself grow warmer.

“Um… Toda, your cheeks are steaming.” They added.

"Odd..." Bato said with a small frown. “Are you okay?”

“It’s nothing!” He said quickly.

“Well… I got these masks done.” Bato said. “Go ahead and put them on.”

Jill took one, then slipped it on. “Whoa! Can’t you zoom with this? How do you do that?”

“Oh, um, I don’t think you can anymore. Hachi left me with some instructions, and it had me take out the optic reader, so now I think it’s just headgear.” Bato said.

“Awwww...” Jill said, disappointedly.

“As long as we have a disguise, we’ll be okay.” Simon said as they slipped on the mask.

"… Hey, Toda? You think splatting you will return you to normal again...?" Jill asked, putting the mesh cap on her tentacles. "I mean, it worked with him."

"I don't see why it wouldn't..." Toda said, though he hadn't thought about that. He certainly hoped it would...

Jill voiced the thought that had passed through his head. "But... but what if it doesn't?"

"It WILL." Simon grimaced. "It has to. It can’t just work for Yuri and then NOT work for Toda! That's just.. not fair...”

“… I think life’s proven to not be fair recently...” Toda said.

“We’ll deal with this once we get out of here.” Bato said, picking up the containment tank. “Stacey, you ready for a ride?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be...” She grunted and then transformed and let herself be scooped up.

"Don't drop it." Toda said quietly. “I almost died in one of those...”

Bato nodded, clipping the tank to his octo belt.

Simon gave a little sigh and looked at Toda. "I think we're about ready to go... so..." They tensed and held out their hand. “I’m ready.”

"Right..." Toda turned towards them, then stepped forward and squidded, jumping to their head.

Simon took a deep breath and slowly opened their eyes, it hurt a little bit more than they remembered. ‘You there?’ They asked, even though the answer was pretty clear.

‘Yeah, I'm here.’ Toda replied, once again feeling the weird sort of two-places-at-once sensation from earlier. ‘Sorry, I was trying to be careful.’

‘No, no, it's not your fault, we barely understand how this stuff works... maybe I was almost trying to fight it... that's when it hurts most.’ They gave a little thumbs up to the others.

‘I don't blame you, for trying to fight. I know it hurts...’ He still wished there had been some other option.

Jill nodded. "I guess we're good to go. Unless we're missing something... But I don't think we are."

“Well, we are missing something.” Bato said. “Straighten your backs you two, you’ll stand out for a mile.”

Bato and Toda are Knitter’s characters

Simon, Jill, Hachi, Orvokki, Orion, Oana, Onella, Ophelia, Yuri and Stacey are Shuckle’s characters. (Whew, that’s a lot)

Splatoon belongs to Nintendo.

Guess what, none of the lyrics in this chapter belong to me either.

Please consider liking or reblogging if you enjoyed, it’s nice to know we’re doing things right.

Shuckle has a patreon if you would like to provide additional support!

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[cyborg-squid]

Ramblings #6

Ramblings #6: this one is significantly less serious and also just me raving about the Cosmere

god i love the cosmere so fucking much. i can probably say, without a doubt, that it is my favorite book series. I’ve kinda said this before, in an older post, that at least for me at times, the series interconnectedness works against it. I’m rereading Way of Kings and got to Ishikk’s interlude (which is one of my favorite parts, idk why, i just like it a lot) where Galladon, Demoux, and someone else are their. And i didn’t even realize it on my first read, only when i was browsing the Coppermind and read Demoux’s entry did I realize. But i kinda worry that, and this is mainly in Stormlight Archive and partially with Mistborn Era 2, that I’m missing out on the actual story of the books and instead playing Where’s Waldo with all the other cosmere characters. 

you got Wit in pretty much every book, Galldon and Demoux in WoK, Vasher and nightblood both in but separated Words of Radiance and apparently some members of the Ghostbloods are worldhoppers as well. And apparently Vivenna will be in Oathbringer! Plus Khriss and Nazh doing the the maps and Ars Arcanums for every book, though we’ve only recently been “introduced” to her in White sand. And Kelsier’s still alive and somehow visited Sel, or Elantrians visited Scadrial, in Secret History. And what kelsier said at the end of Secret History makes me think Spook is alive as well. And Sazed is god in conflict with other gods and Odium is fucking around splintering everyone. and it’s really difficult to both pay attention to the story being presented in each individual book with this sort of divine conspiracy going on in the background. i think Brandon (Brian Sandborn as my dad has called him) has said something along the lines of “you don’t need to worry about that yet, the real sort of cosmere crossover books are yet to happen”. i think, i may have thought i read that but actually didn’t. But still, I feel like I gotta keep track of it! Plus, making all these theories and stuff is a good way of actually participating in the fandom and helps pass the time between book releases. 

Part of that fault is probably with me. I don’t just want to read what’s going on, I want to know what’s going on. Also, I don’t like missing out on content and I feel like missing out on a cameo counts as that. And I want to, y’know, participate in the fandom and stuff and I feel that if I’m not really clued into the big cosmere conspiracy that I’m missing out on a sort of “inside joke” or that everyone knows something I don’t. And I think I know a lot and have figured it out but compared to other’s theories and the info that gets revealed at signings I have very little figured out. And all this is compounded by the fact that Stormlight Archive itself is so damn complicated (but in a good way). And it’s probably gonna take a lot of books for these plots to pay off or be figured out. Rereading WoK, in the prologue, Szeth notices Elhokar talking to “a dark-skinned Azish man who had an odd patch of pale skin on his cheek”. That soubnds a lot like Nale! also mentions a “thinner, Alethi looking man who kept glancing over his shoulder”, but idk who that is. 

TBH i’d just be content if, nearing when the cosmere crossover or finale of whatevs happens, there’s a sort of “Here’s what you missed previously on Brandon Sanderson’s The Cosmere:”. Cause even if I don’t have it all figured out now (and I’m fine with that I guess), I really want to know all of what leads up to the finale/crossover event. It would be really dissapointing showing up to the finale and not having any idea what’s happening or how everyone got there. Even if there’s no official guide/explanation, I can hope that the fandom will come up with some sort of “prepper” for the finale. oh god it’s gonna be like Infinity War but replacing Thanos with Odium. 

On a completely unrelated tangent that just occurred to me, it would be AWESOME to see all of the different cosmere magic systems used all in one scene or fight. Whether they’re working together or fighting each other, I would love to see Allomancy/the Metallic Arts used alongside Surgebinding and AonDor and Sand Mastery. 

Another tangent, I would ove to see a Stormlight Archive tapletop RPG. They’ve already got a Mistborn one, so It’s not too much of stretch. At this point in the books, with the lack of info about the Knights Radiant, it might not be lore-feasible, but as books progress, it would be great to have an RPG where you can play as a Knights Radiant, either in the sort of new Knights Radiant or maybe set prior, before the Day of recreance. The different Ideals of the different orders remind sort of paladins, having to abide by a certain sort of code in order to keep your powers. And all the different orders allow for a lot of different “classes” and playstyles as well. And they wouldn’t all be typical “paladin” goody two-shoes, with the moral and philosophical differences between the orders already established in the lore. And leveling up through discovering more about your character and saying more of the ideals and thus your spren gaining more sentience and getting access to more of your Surges and their powers. it would be mostly story/roleplay, and i can’t imagine it would be very popular if you haven’t already read the books.  Any way i would really love that and i hope it happens and i would either be a Skybreaker cause of their cool Surges or a Dustbringer cause it sounds super cool.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

TF2 Headcanon Fic - “The Strength in Tears”

@camiluna27 & I started going down the pairing list, with Pauling/Zhanna(/Soldier) at the top for various reasons. So, have this. It’s 6:30am what is sleep?

-Title: The Strength in Tears-

There had always been animosity between them; rather one-sided, if truth be told, and for no reason either could properly name. Zhanna had simply... taken a dislike to Miss Pauling when she laid eyes on her; there was some strange thought in her mind, when she saw the smaller assassin that told her to be wary.

And yet, even though she accidentally killed the Pauling woman once, it had not been held against her. Zhanna had begun to like the woman's attitude of practicality, even if she had felt it rather shameless that Pauling would dare ogle soldier's honey-coated nudity during battle. Had said so, in fact.

It had been a surprise to have the little loud one, the Scout who followed Miss Pauling like pet bear, be the one to mention the truth to her. He had come, for no reason other than to offer her a bottle of water; maybe sent by another mercenary, perhaps of his own will, who could tell his motivations?

Still, the boy saw her gaze harden as Miss Pauling spoke with Soldier... and his own expression grew annoyed. Like he wished to say something unkind, but could not do so...

How interesting. Before, when offered sex, he could not be silent for more than a second... and yet now when he clearly held something bitter to say, the Scout was quiet. They simply stared at one another for a moment, before his hands unclenched; and he eventually sighed.

"Look, I dunno why ya hate Miss P, 'cause she's super sweet and awesome and all kinds'a badass... but she... well, let's say she wasn't staring at Soldier. And yeah, I heard all about that crap when we got back, in weirdly vivid detail so don't tell me I couldn't know 'cause I wasn't there the whole time."

She raises an eyebrow.

So he adds, "She uh... y'know, can never like someone like me... even if I had a heck of a crush on her. Still do, sorta. But ya should have seen her face when she saw, uh..." he makes a gesture encompassing all of Zhanna, and impressing the concept he'd seen her naked and honey-coated but wasn't willing to say so out-loud for some reason.

It was... a different perspective.

"She... was not looking at Soldier?" she questions, to clarify.

"Heh, not in this universe, I promise. So just... maybe ease up on her, or something? The Administrator's real fucking tough on her most of the time, she barely gets to sleep or eat and only gets one day off a year... I dunno how she hasn't dropped dead of stress..." he pauses, "Though we do have respawn, and she's probably hooked into it, so it doesn't matter if she does... the Admin doesn't like to waste good employees or whatever..."

This was definitely new information, Zhanna would have to consider this further. She puts a hand on his shoulder, the only one she still has, and miles. "You have my thanks, tiny loud one. May your efforts at gaining the attention of your teammate be  successful."

She walks determinedly towards Soldier, leaving the runner spluttering denials behind her. Perhaps she was not the only one who had needed to hear the truth this day.

Indeed, the trials they had faced already seemed so paltry in comparison to what had occurred next. The loss of her hand, their deaths and the sudden return to life... none of it mattered. What the Administrator woman had unleashed on them all had been utterly... indescribable.

The only good point of the whole situation was Zhanna being able to see, for herself, the way Miss Pauling reacted when accosted by a beautiful woman. It was somehow humorous to note that a woman who could calmly lecture and degrade dying enemies... was unable to hide her shock and delight at encountering someone she was attracted to.

Zhanna had been briefly concerned the other was liable to pass out in shock, when the Engineer and Administrator entered their temporary shelter. The surprise of all the mercenaries, her dear Soldier included, was tangible; but Miss Pauling was clearly most affected.

She also seemed quite distressed by this turn of events; the reality of why had not become apparent to Zhanna until after all had come to its natural,m hardwon, conclusion. When all debts had been settled, their enemies lay lifeless around them... and the Administrator took her final breath in a life that had lasted far, far longer than any mortal's should.

It was then she knew, and understood why... the fear and loss etched into the young face of Miss Pauling upon first sighting the Administrator. Though Zhanna had not seen her before, it was understood she had been elderly, ancient, and her appearance suitably similar to match. This new, youthful, beautiful face... it was as much a warning as the pretty colourings of poisonous frogs or sea creatures.

It was then, that Zhanna understood her own self, more fully. That is to say, her heart ached oddly to see the tear-stained expression Miss Pauling wore on that day... the strong desire to comfort her surged through her veins.

Miss Pauling excused herself, leaving the solemn mercenaries to riefly glance after her, before returning to their odd little groupings. The Scout looked like he would go after her, but the masked father restrained such an action with a hand; shaking his head to advise the action would be unwelcome.

He did not chase after, at least; though he looked directly across the room to Zhanna. Their eyes met, and she felt him plead with her... because they both knew that Zhanna would be far more welcome than he, at such an emotionally delicate time. Though, in truth, Zhanna hesitated.

Emotions, comforting... these were things Misha did; even now 'Heavy' was checking with the other smaller men, ascertaining all was well. She had envied that, when they were younger; but also mocked him in the way siblings did, for being so sensitive about everyone's needs and thoughts.

The value of such a personality is lost on children, but everything to the more mature. Only now did Zhanna wish to be more like Misha in that area; though they were closely matched in all else, from strength and size to brutality and loyalty.

She glanced to Soldier, beside her. He was half-listening to Demo and Engineer speaking; but turned his head her way at her movement. Many would not credit her Jane as a smart man, for he yelled and showed such reckless enthusiasm about many things; but Zhanna knew different.

Soldier said many things, and some were odd but many tended to be meaningful. He simply communicated differently, as one would expect after the life he had led; she never tired of his stories, and always matched them with her own. Jane liked the one about her first bear hunt, at age five, the most; said it was 'adorable'.

He was clever, exciting and passionate in the bedroom, too; she had never regretted her choice. Sometimes she did wonder how things would have changed if the loud Scout had managed to keep quiet long enough... but, that was a problem for an alternate version of herself, in another universe.

The Zhanna in this one, here and now, tilted her head at Soldier; expressing to him, without words, her intentions. And he, in response, nodded curtly; with a pat on her arm to signify that he understood.

She flashed a brief smile, and turned away. Striding past the other gathered men and after Miss Pauling; whose trail was not the most difficult to follow, despite the many twisting corridors and staircases of this metallic base.

Eventually, they all converged on a cavernous room half-filled with consoles and monitors. all blinking various scenes in black-and-white, some reading 'Error' in stark lettering. None showed any signs of life, save one in the far right-hand corner, which recorded the room they were just in...

In the centre of the room stood a large black chair, with a large oak desk to the side by some filing cabinets. A small microphone sprung up from the wooden surface... Zhanna only noticed because a slender, pale arm half-clad in purple was beside it.

She moved forwards to find Miss Pauling curled into the large leather throne, half-slumped on the desk before it. Sobbing quietly, desolately; like the heart-broken... or the grief-stricken.

Zhanna felt her heart... ache? The pit of her stomach felt hollow, yet roiling; as if she wanted to fight whoever had caused this woman's pain, remove her anguish with her fists. It worked with most problems Zhanna and her family had faced. 'Many fists make short work of a foe'  her mamushka always said with a smile.

She takes a step towards the other, and the sound of her footfall registers with Miss Pauling; the purple-clad woman jerks upright, sniffing and hastily scrubbing at the tears trailing furrows down her far-too-pale face.

"I'm-... I'm alright Scout, thanks for coming after me but I don't want to... talk..." she trails off, realising her quiet grieving had not been interrupted by the concerned runner, but rather... by an unexpected person altogether.

"I am not the loud little one, Pauling... but I share his concerns for you." Zhanna bridges the silence, moving closer. She crouches by the chair, placing them at eye-height, with what she hoped was a comforting smile...

"Wh-what are you...?" Miss Pauling questions, not having realised the animosity between them had cooled, been replaced with something far more positive.

Zhanna placed her hand on the other's arm, feeling pleased when the other didn't jerk away. "You have lost someone dear to you, and do not need to hide your tears. Even if I did not feel the way I do for you, I would still come..."

Miss Pauling didn't seem to know how to respond to that statement. She just stared, occasionally sniffling, clearly trying to regulate her breathing and stem the tears that she couldn't seem to stop.

Zhanna continued, trying her best to be soothing. "When someone you care for is gone, it hurts us inside where no one can see... if you do not let it out in the right way, you will stay hurt and I do not wish this for you Little Pauling. You do too much alone, and I want to... help you, listen to the things that make you cry..."

She's fumbling slightly, her words could be so eloquent in Russian, and yet in English they came out so bland. "I mean to say, that I have feelings for you... they make me want to tell you everything will be alright, and kill anyone who dares to infringe on that promise. Your smile... makes my heart glow, like when Soldier shouts sweet things at me, or when he uses his tongue to-..."

Miss Pauling cuts her off with a quick, "Thank you for y-your concerns Zhanna, but I'm f-f-fine..."

Zhanna laughs, not unkindly, but clearly in contest of the statement. "You are crying, alone and away from comfort. That is not fine by any standard, Miss Pauling... so I have come to you, to listen and take the pain from your heart. I am strong, I can help you carry this burden until this has passed, da?"

Miss Pauling looked exhausted, but oddly grateful if not a little bit confused. "You... you want to hear me cry over the Administrator's death? Wh-why? I mean, I kn-know she wasn't the nicest, especially not to m-me but she was all I knew f-for so long..." the purple-clad assassin stutters out, around wheezy sobs, looking all the more frustrated by this uncontrollable display of emotion.

"I was the assistant f-for so long... n-now what am I? And h-how pathetic is it that she's dead, b-but all I can th-think about is mys-self? And I can't st-stop crying, this is so stupid..." she slams her hands on the table, frustrated. "I'm so-... s-so stupid, I've killed and buried s-so many people... and yet, this one d-death has brought me to th-this?"

She laughed in such a hollow, self-deprecating way, that it almost physically pained Zhanna to hear it. She wanted to smack the sound right out of Miss Pauling's mouth, stamp it into the ground and carry the woman away from such incorrect ideologies. But still, she stayed firmly in her place; letting the other speak her mind for the moment. This was necessary, catharsis.

"The Administrator... was the closest thing I h-had to family... even if it got a little weird a-at the end because she used the aust-Australium to become... young and b-beautiful again..." Miss Pauling's fervour is starting to drain, and she's slumping back in the chair, leaning more weight onto the comforting grip of Zhanna's hand. "A-and now she's gone... and wh-what am I but some crying w-weakling? J-just sitting here s-sobbing like a child, in th-the only place that feels s-safe? F-familiar?"

Then Miss Pauling fell silent, with only the few strangled sobs she couldn't prevent from escaping, echoing in the room between them. After a moment, realising all had been said and done, that Miss Pauling's dark thoughts had finally been freed, Zhanna stood up.

She did not ask, but instead picked up the other; holding her carefully, in a grip both gentle and firm, but close. The other was either too stunned, or too worn out to protest; but Zhanna took it as a hopeful sign when the small, delicate death-dealing hands tentatively clutched onto the fabric of her top.

Like a... the Australian bear babies, yes? She could not think of the word just now...

It felt right, to have the smaller so close; where Zhanna knew she was safe, in her arms. With a slight hesitation, the Russian stroked Miss Pauling's dark hair; it was slightly tangled from their trials, but still soft enough.

"Hush now, little (Fioletovyy/Violet), things will be alright in the days to come... but you must let the hurt go, now, in whatever way works for you. Tears, words, sparring, anything that helps you move through them; to know pain, understand and move past it... that is true strength."

Zhanna gently places a kiss on the top of Miss Pauling's head. "You are not weak, little Pauling... you are very strong, always have been. But you have been brave for such a long time, it can be hard to realise it is okay to let someone else in, to let them carry burden with you until you feel better, da?"

Miss Pauling had looked up at her in surprise the minute the other woman's gentle kiss had registered. Eyes wide, a little shocked; and a faint flush on her face that was unlikely to be based in her grief over the loss of the Administrator and, to an extent, her identity.

"R-really?" she asked, then scrunched up her face, wrinkling her nose cutely, as if horrified to have asked something so childish. "I mean, Zhanna I-... I just feel so... I don't know... lost or empty or... like nothing is real?"

"Do you feel me holding you, little Fioletovyy? My arms are real, the warmth between us is real... and my concern that you have lost your smile, is real. The affection I feel, is real, even though I know it does not cancel out the loss you are experiencing..." Zhanna soothes, rubbing the other upon the back as the last of her stuttered sobs peter out.

Miss Pauling's expression is hard to describe; the trail of tears upon her face shimmered in the dim light, and yet, underneath that, something had changed. The grief was there... but something approaching a shy, tentative hope, a longing was beneath that, plain in her eyes.

"You... really mean that, don't you?" she sniffs, the beginnings of a smile gracing her wan features. "I thought you... d-didn't like me because you assumed I liked Soldier..."

"Indeed, I did not. But, I have been wrong before... I misunderstood, until someone pointed it out; though it pained them to do so." Zhanna admits. "No matter, the past is completed and we cannot return there... the here and now is most important. I am hopeful that both my present and future will have you in them, Miss Pauling... though I will understand if you feel otherwise about this as I have been curt."

"But... what about Soldier, aren't you t-two...?" queries Miss Pauling, expression closing off as reality begins to seep back in.

"Da, I love soldier and will not leave him... but it does not mean I cannot love you too, little Pauling. Jane does not mind, and will not ask anything of you..." Zhanna reassures, knowing Soldier well enough to promise this. "I have enough love for two people, and you are welcome to be part of such if you wish it... my actions in the past were due to confusion over my feelings, my... fear of losing Soldier to you. As you are pretty and merciless, which are traits he finds endearing... as do I."

She laughs, "I see now I have been foolish... but no matter. Let me be your strength for now, and you can make a decision when you are settled... when your thoughts are not clouded by grief."

"No." Miss Pauling interjects, and Zhanna felt her heart drop. It must have shown on her face because Miss Pauling immediately follows it with, "I-I mean, no... I don't need time... I've wanted-... that is to say, I've liked-... yes, please. Just don't... let go of me yet, please..."

She pauses, and laughs before saying, "I know it sounds so corny b-but the world doesn't feel so big, so empty, when you're holding me... and I-... thank you. For coming after me, and knowing what to... say or do or whatever this it... I needed it."

Zhanna smiles, "I will always be there, when you need it... little Fioletovyy..." Zhanna reassures.

"What does that mean?" Miss Pauling queries, suddenly aware of how close they were, how easy it would be to just move closer a fraction and... press their lips against the other's.

"Hmmm, it is Russian for... I believe the word is Violet in English? It is what I think of when I see you... and so, I could not help it. If it bothers you, I can choose another-..." Zhanna pauses because Miss Pauling is laughing.

"Oh, oh no, I like it.... it's just, you-..." she pauses to giggle, "you wouldn't believe this but my... my name is actually... Violet Pauling."

Zhanna beams, "Then it must be fate, then..."

"Y...Yes, I suppose it must be." Miss Pauling smiles back. She looks tired, exhausted by the trials and tribulations of the day, the last week, the entire years since Team Fortress disbanded... but somehow, radiant as well.

Without another word, Miss Pauling closes the gap between them, and it is even more delightful a moment than Zhanna could have ever anticipated. Different to Jane, and yet, just as right.

Perfect.

Miss Pauling moves away first, resting her head on the broad Russian shoulders before her. She didn't seem in a hurry to do anything, much less leave the careful embrace Zhanna held her in.

"Thank you." whispers Miss Pauling, but then lifts her head to look at Zhanna more clearly. A thought worrying at her. "And... you're sure Soldier is fine with... us? I don't like... I mean, he's lovely but I'm not attracted to-..."

"Miss Pauling, you are not required to find my person physically attractive nor do anything involving it, should you choose not to." Soldier says, as he moves inside the room. Clearly having been worried about the extended absence of the pair, and followed them; waiting outside the door until it was appropriate to interject. "You are a superior officer, and I will follow your directions to the letter. As long as you are fine with sharing this glorious creature with me, have had all your shots, and don't mind sharing household duties amongst us... or the occasional visit from Merasmus, then we will be a highly successful tactical unit!"

Miss Pauling was staring at him, questioning how he'd appeared so suddenly, as if saying his name three times had summoned him.

Then her formidable mind caught up with the flurry of words she'd just weathered. "As long as you're okay with it too, Soldier, I'm fine with i-... wait, why do I need all my vaccinations?"

"Raccoons." Zhanna deadpans into her ear, the warm breath making her shiver. Soldier flushed under his helmet as Miss Pauling shuddered, and he averted his gaze.

"Ah, if you two have completed your emotional mission debrief, the others wish me to inform you that we are planning to go back to basecamp at teufort, to formulate our next move forward." Soldier adds, standing there stock still until Zhanna gestures with an arm for him to come closer.

With an arm supporting Miss Pauling's entire weight, she wraps the other around Soldier; Jane clearly hesitates, until he sees Miss Pauling isn't trying to get away, before reciprocating and accidentally partially-squishing her in the middle. Zhanna kisses him, then Miss Pauling once more, and laughs.

"Today has been a good day of many victories," she says, smiling down at Miss Pauling, as Soldier releases the pair. The purple-clad woman slips down from her previous position, and stands, wobbling slightly, on the floor between the pair.

Each place an arm on her back to steady her, not wanting to remove her autonomy, but rather support it. A lot of their trials had hit the woman pretty hard, and even the love Zhanna felt for her, and the admiration Soldier had always shown towards Miss Pauling would not heal it automatically.

They followed Miss Pauling as she walked out of the room, maintaining contact even a she paused to look back; to let her eyes wander over the familiar, metallic room, for the last time. She took a deep breath, placed a hand on each of the supporting arms, and continued forwards. Ready for the unknown, to find out what the future held.

- - - -

The End

- - - -

Bonus:

Zhanna felt, as the days grew long at the new base and all 'planning' tended to end up in circuitous arguments over who had to do what chore that week, that she was quite content.

Miss Pauling was excellent in many ways, and Soldier was also magnificent in his own way. They coexisted well, for her.

Yet she felt... a burden, a debt unpaid, so to speak. She could feel it on the one who had helped them become this unit, who still sometimes looked upon her little Fioletovyy with distant longing. Though, Zhanna felt it was more for what the woman had, than the lingering remnants of a past crush.

She decided, as was fair, to even things out.

One night, without warning, she seized the tiny loud one; he squirmed but she held fast, hushing him. Zhanna carried him outside, wrenched open the door of the van, and tossed the Scout in...

"What the bloody hell?" yelled the occupant.

"Zhanna, what-...? Snipes, I-..." Scout shouted back.

Zhanna briefly placed herself in the doorway, looking at the pile of limbs on the floor and simply stated, "Little loud one has strong feelings for you, and would very much like to do the sex with you... please discuss this and be happy."

She looked directly at Scout, "My debt to you has been repaid. I wish you joy."

And so saying, she slammed the door shut, pushing a nearby boulder over the entrance, as chaos erupted inside. Let them take the time to work it out...

When she smugly removed the boulder in the morning, both appeared rather dishevelled and wouldn't meet her eyes. Her debt had been repaid, indeed.