#Buspirone

[donnieisaprettyboy]

ANOTHER thing I’ve started to realize now that I’ve consistently been on antidepressants for a few months is that I’m just now learning how to be a person.

I’ve been mentally ill for at least the last ten years. this is the first time in my life I haven’t been depressed. but because of that I’m kind of learning who I am for the first time without the weight of mental illness. and I love it.

I’m learning how to be me, I’m learning about how to take care of myself and my space, I’m learning about how I give and receive love, and yeah it’s a lot of work to be learning all this effectively for the first time at 22 but it’s so worth it.

I fucking love being medicated. I’ve never been able to just get out of bed and do things just to get them done. it has always been out of absolutely necessity or a pending deadline and it was always always always procrastinated and half-assed. but now I can get out of bed and get straight to work on stuff and feel good and accomplished.

[seleniteluvr]

Not a relapse just a cry for help｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

[gulabi-gal]

It’s crazy how d3pression absolutely saps your energy. I’m literally so tired and constantly want to take a nap. I have barely any motivation and am having difficulty doing things. I just want to sleep, but I need to do my psychology work. I want to be happy again.

And my CBT and DBT skills are not that effective against it bc of the lack of energy. I want to go back on the dosing of the meds that I was on before bc I wasn’t depressed then.

[pallor-parlor]

I forgot to take my buspirone today and I'm getting the brain zappies. I can be walking around having a normal time and all of a sudden I'm Batty Koda.

[wanderer-of-nature-and-dreams]

In like a week and a half from now I need to refill my prescription, I'm wondering if I should try to call my doctor about increasing my dosage? I'm barely feeling positive effects so far, although some reviews do say that it could take several weeks to feel a difference, I told her that my body is sensitive to drugs and that I wanted to start on a low dose to see how it affects me. I'm worried that if I don't change dosage I'll have to wait and suffer through another month without relief.

[bagog]

Failed Relationships - BuSpar

Lonely, anxious, and depressed, I went to the doctor and they gave me a test. Based on my genes, they could tell me which relationships would affect me, complete me.

Bone white smile and soft eyes, you were one of the first I met. You had a face that blended into the crowd, a familiarity that was so in the marrow that loving you felt like loving everyone. Quiet shoes and a sterile touch, you never overstayed your welcome. I assume, sometimes I lost track of you.

Because you were the way things were supposed to be, I came to you three times a day at least. I cannot say what you do when I am not paying attention. I can’t remember what things were like before I met you. Who knows, then, what you did to me? Who could know?

My friend said he had a relationship with you, and it changed his life forever. Like you were some kind of savior. I wonder if this is what saved looks like.

[emilemily]

I’m pulling myself off of all my psychiatric meds one by one and it has been hard, but I’m already feeling the positive effects. I was on an antipsychotic called Rexultifor the last year and successfully cold turkey’d it. Took my last one a month ago.

Now I’m pulling myself off of Trintellix, which is my antidepressant. I’ve gained a lot of weight on it and I’m just not happy with myself. Why am I even on so many meds? My doctor said that after she’s had me on an antipsychotic for a year, she actually doesn’t think I’m bipolar and instead thinks I just have extensive trauma.

Thanks I guess?

Anyway, today is my first day skipping my Trintellix. I’ve spent the last month in hellacious anti psychotic withdrawal, so anything this throws at me will feel like a cakewalk in comparison.

I’ll be staying on my Vyvanse, Guanfacine and Buspar. The Guanfacine works as a heart med for my POTS while also evening out the negative parts of being on a stimulant.

After coming off this anti depressant I will be coming off of gabapentin. That I will need to taper. I tried last summer to come off of it and almost offed myself as a result. I went catatonic and just laid on Stephen’s lap, rocking my body and humming to stop the terrible thoughts I was having.

I didn’t taper it though, so that was my issue.

I’m going to free myself from the shackles of all these medications. I’m 30 years old and I want to enjoy it. I want to feel everything deeply again instead of feeling this fuzzy numb feeling 24/7. I’d rather feel everything and cry than walk around this world letting time pass me by because I feel apathyx1000.

My medication journey started in rehab in 2020. I hadn’t taken meds since I was a child taking stimulants for my adhd. I was put on a cocktail of things and gained an insane amount of weight when all I needed was some fucking therapy and help addressing the death of my father.

Gonna set it all straight now and undo what I thought was just my new norm. It doesn’t have to be.

Here’s to lots of withdrawals coming my way, ha.

Hoping for strength.

[glacierruler]

I am so sad right now ;n;

I just started buspirone

I'm looking it up, but I might not be allowed to drink anything with citric acid in it. Because citric acid may contain grapefruit. And I'm not allowed grapefruit with this medication

Why is this so hard ;n;

I'm just supposed to avoid alcohol with my bipolar meds

[performing-personhood]

Day 2 of BuSpar

The bad news: the morning dose makes me dizzy in a "if I turn my head too fast everything gets tinnitus-ey and the floor disappears for a split second" way

The good news: this seems to go away after about forty-five minutes.

[chaoticgaywaren]

i find myself struggling to take my meds a lot lately. it's not like it's a lot. two buspar. one zoloft, one lamictal. four in the morning, and one prazosin at night.

you'd think i would want to take my prazosin. that i'd look forward to it, with the way it curbs my screaming nightmares. with the waking up panicking, hallucinating, physically lashing out at my partner when he tries to grab me and put me in a bear hug to calm me down. to have a night without terror is to have one less fight with him about trying EMDR to help work through my trauma, something i'm even more terrified to do. you'd think it would make me want to take my prazosin.

you'd think i would want to take my buspar. it goes with me everywhere, i'm supposed to take it right after a panic attack so i can function properly a few minutes after a hysterical meltdown in the basement of whatever lecture building i'm in. you'd think I'd want it, to avoid the horrible pit in my chest, the wild animal look in my eyes, the vomiting when it gets bad. the inability to look any man tall and blonde or any woman with a seashell-soft giggle in the eye, the way my whole body begins to shiver like i'm in the coldest winter of my life. you'd think avoiding all that would be more than enough reason to take my buspar.

you'd think i'd want to take my zoloft. i don't even know why my psychiatrist prescribed it, honestly. but the days i take it, like a dutiful servant taking communion at an unfeeling altar, i feel... cloudy. grey. but there is no awful existential fear, no fishhooks in the meat of my brain dragging me into the depths. it's nice. fuzzy. besides, i've had reactions to all the other antidepressants, so it's not like i have a choice. it's either zoloft- one little robin's egg blue pill- or suffer. so you'd think i'd want to take my zoloft.

most of all, you would think i would want to take my lamictal. my lifeline, the thing keeping me from setting fire and tearing down this insane life i've built for myself. before i had that round white pill- a communion wafer, bitter on my tongue, one that i swallow dutifully to prove my devotion- my partner almost left me. my roommates tried to kick me out. i could barely function, trapped in a constant cycle of mania and depression, constant ups and downs and pinging around like a ball in an arcade machine. now my hair stays the same color longer than a week, and i have a steady job, and my grades are average but not spectacular, and i should be happy with that. lamictal has given me that. but i fight and claw, the big rabid bear inside my head that reads at the thought of admitting weakness and accepting help, is what keeps me from opening the pill bottle some mornings. what makes me miss communion. you'd think i would want to take my lamictal. but i don't.

i think it's because if i take them all every day, six buspar (two in the morning, two at noon, two at bedtime), a zoloft, a lamictal, a prazosin, i am admitting defeat. i am accepting that i cannot handle myself, that i cannot fix it myself, that i am, in fact, a wounded dog in a too-small muzzle chained to a fencepost, snarling at anyone who comes near.

you'd think i want to take my meds. but somehow, i don't.

[maurslex]

angel numbers :o

[headlessandhellbent]

I'm finally on so many meds I decided to check interactions

Death by shock of happiness

I'm c a c k l I n g

[deathaskedaquestion]

So I’ve been on BuSpar for like 3 months and I feel it’s helped me a lot, but the longer I’m on it the more I feel restless and fidgety while I take it. That feeling is starting to get unmanageable, so I’m stopping, but I don’t know what to do instead. I’m never sure wtf I’m doing with meds, or if I should just give up and go without them. I start with a new psychiatrist this week tho so hopefully that will help.

[healinginprogresswithgod]

Since coming home it has taken me almost 3 days to mentally come back to the person that I am away from my childhood home and Thank God I am home. Thank God for the college that brought me to my new safe place with my safe person. Thank God for the jobs that he gave my person and I the ability to financially afford a home. God worked it out so that I don't have to rely on the people in my childhood home any longer. Though I do love them (as I'm commanded to love all people) I keep them at a distance from me as I will no longer allow them to make me feel small and powerless again. Thank God for my people, therapy, my medicine, AND most of all His son Jesus Christ and his death on the cross for me.

[boatsandbraids]

Got diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, got prescribed buspirone…and am too anxious to start it. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[wanderer-of-nature-and-dreams]

Ehhh sitting on the floor timeee

Feeling super woozy after taking my dose of buspirone, sometimes it does this sometimes it doesn't, I don't understand the pattern, I take it around the same time every day with food :/