#bupropion

[donnieisaprettyboy]

ANOTHER thing I’ve started to realize now that I’ve consistently been on antidepressants for a few months is that I’m just now learning how to be a person.

I’ve been mentally ill for at least the last ten years. this is the first time in my life I haven’t been depressed. but because of that I’m kind of learning who I am for the first time without the weight of mental illness. and I love it.

I’m learning how to be me, I’m learning about how to take care of myself and my space, I’m learning about how I give and receive love, and yeah it’s a lot of work to be learning all this effectively for the first time at 22 but it’s so worth it.

I fucking love being medicated. I’ve never been able to just get out of bed and do things just to get them done. it has always been out of absolutely necessity or a pending deadline and it was always always always procrastinated and half-assed. but now I can get out of bed and get straight to work on stuff and feel good and accomplished.

[psybrepunk]

I love how every time I start taking Wellbutrin (bupropion) I'm like "This is the best decision of my life"

And also every time I stop taking Wellbutrin (bupropion) I'm like "This is the best decision of my life"

[finboii]

F I N —

24 — 5’4

They Them —

CW- 175ish

GW- 145

UGW- 120

year 6 of AnnA

[thepatronsaintoffilth]

going to the psychiatrist tomorrow to get my meds approved and i'm terrified they're going to jerk me around like last time and leave me high and dry and i cannot stress enough how USELESS and SUICIDAL i am without this medication and i just really need tomorrow to work out and there's a basket of laundry sitting next to me i have to fold and i have to get my workout done and i'm just so scared

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Me, asking my boss every possible conceivable question about how to send this calendar invite to make sure absolutely nothing is wrong:

My boss: don't overthink it

Me, with OCD (Overthinking Constantly Disease), RSD (If I Ever Get In Trouble I'll Cry Disease) and a recently doubled medication dose that has had me in a constant ongoing anxiety attack for two weeks straight: ok

[formergothkid]

Bupropion my beloved

[feralnightwing]

[ehlers-danloscircus]

Ok, since I started on a new medication and I'm feeling a little bit better…I thought I should finally update on what happened with the Wellbutrin.

Let me start off by again mentioning that I have recently had pharmacogenetic testing done which shows I have multiple issues metabolizing medications. I don't yet have the full official doctor explanation but it would seem that my body may have been metabolizing the Wellbutrin slow than intended so, it may have been kind of storing up in my body.

So as you can see from my original post about my initial dosage of Wellbutrin things were going pretty well (I will add a link to this post to that entry though) and I was seeing some good changes to my life after a month on that lower dose. At my next appointment my doctor and I decided to up the dosage.

So at this time in my life I was basically living in a long term stay hotel because of my health and a paint can that had been left open for almost a month in my home back in December. I had been at this hotel for at least a month, month & a half so, I was pretty familiar with all the sounds and comings and goings etc. About three to four days after upping the dosage I became sort of hyperaware of some noises in my room from a neighboring room. At some point that night it briefly occurred to me I might be hallucinating these sounds because as I said, I was very familiar with how sounds in the hotel typically carried and this suddenly didn't make sense to me. I ended up not sleeping that well.

The next day I realized that I may also be experiencing some sort of physical hallucination which basically felt like an on going small earthquake or like everywhere I went there were large engines/motor causing the building to shake. I was leaving the hotel that day to move into a rental place near by my home as things at home were slowly improving and seemed like I would be able to return soon. This seemed like a good opportunity to see if I was really experiencing these things or if I was hallucinating. Initially at the rental things seemed better and I was relieved!

Later that evening, however, it all came back and worse than ever. I became really paranoid that I had been followed. So I again didn't really sleep. I left early in the morning to go home to my mom. The sounds followed me home to varying degrees so it was even more confusing. I did call my doctor who set up some calls to varying departments to try and figure out next steps besides me going cold turkey off the Wellbutrin. At one point I for some reason was convinced again that I wasn't hallucinating and so some of those calls got cancelled. This was really bad because that night things got way worse.

I started to have visual hallucinations as soon as it got dark out and my paranoia skyrocketed. That continued into the next day and night even though I had been off the Wellbutrin since the morning I came home. It was a very strange and obviously terrifying and traumatic experience. It reminded me of when I was younger and had a really bad night terror, you at some points know your dreaming but then your brain falls partially back asleep. With this there would be moments where I knew I was hallucinating and none of this was really but then all of a sudden there'd be something that seemed so real my brain fell back into the hallucination and no one could convince me otherwise.

On the second night of the visual hallucinations I ended up voluntarily going to the psychiatric ER since I was too afraid to sleep at all. From there I had to do a one week stay at an inpatient hospital and was placed on some heavy duty anti-psychotic medication. On the third or so day of anti-psychotic meds the auditory and physical hallucinations stopped (I did not have the visual hallucinations anywhere except in my home.) This medication was no joke and I experienced a lot of extremely unpleasant side effects from it but I was willing to go through it rather than risk what everyone was warning me about which was that if we did nothing there was a chance that the hallucinations could become "permanent." Basically, it was suggested by the doctors that (kind of like trauma I suppose) your brain can sometimes hard wire those paths that it's making.

After the week there I came home, began recovery and started to slowly wean off the anti-psychotic (which was a whole other terrifying journey mostly just not being sure if everything would come back or not) which took about a month. The anti-psychotic it turned out was really ramping up my anxiety so once I was about to get down to a safe dose to go completely off it, that went away instantly!

So here I am about 6 months from the start of that increased dosage and about 4 months from weaning off the anti-psychotic. I've started a new medication at the lowest dosage, given guidance by the genetic testing, and that has definitely stirred up a of PTSD from the whole experience with the Wellbutrin but I'm working through it and trying to remain positive now that we know more about what might have happened. My psychiatrists feel very confident that there is no lasting/lingering issues to worry about and that it's very unlikely I have any underlying mental health issue (I'm a closed adoption adoptee so no family history to go on) that I need to worry about that would have caused this, given things stopped very quickly with the anti-psychotic and there has been no sign of return since stopping.

Apparently this is just an issue that sometimes happens with Wellbutrin and maybe more so as dosage increases. It may have been I would have been fine at that lower dose. This is also often an issue with stimulant adhd meds so for that reason I cannot take those (aside from also having heart issues which initially took those off the table.) I have since heard a lot of stories from other people taking these medications that have had similar experiences.

I'm sharing all this to say…it may not happen to you, it doesn't happen to everyone but it does happen…it's probably not a sign that you have schizophrenia or anything like that but you DO NEED TO TELL YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY! The sooner the better, even if you aren't having scary hallucinations like I did. Let them help you sort it out. Yes, anti-psychotics are scary and not pleasant I get that but it's really not worth risking the hallucinations getting worse or permanent. I know it can be hard to find doctors and psychiatrists to trust, BELIEVE ME I KNOW!! I knew that before but yeah, this was a whole new eye opening experience of how vulnerable one is in mental health settings…it can really be nightmarishly terrifying to feel so vulnerable. There are so many people out here (sadly) though that are willing to share there experiences and how to get through it, how to advocate for yourself, and resources of people and places to get help. It's something to be aware of, it's something to take quick action on before it spirals…

My last take away from this, which is something my therapist brought up and I'm very appreciative of, is when going on medication give a lot of thought to what you are looking for from it and keep in mind that "perfect" doesn't need to exist. Sometimes good enough is good enough. That low dosage for me was good enough after a month and who knows maybe it would have still continued to improve my life after several months on it with no issues. I think going slowly with it would have been fine (adhd wise). I admit I think I was desperately chasing some perfect idea I had in my head about how things were going to be in my life so I agreed to rush ahead. This time I feel like I have a better idea of what I want out of medication and what I'm measuring my experience/improvement/life by. I'm more ok with saying "Ok, this is pretty good or okish…it's not "perfect", it could maybe be a little better but I'm ok with staying here and seeing how it continues at this dose. If things seem worse then maybe talk about what to do from there." I think there's a medical mantra of "slow and low" (start low dose and increase slow), it's a good one.

[deludedcrayon]

just got prescribed wellbutrin, also weaning off my prozac and intuniv and reducing my olanzapine… anyone here have experience wirh wellbutrin? i have bpd but my psych is mainly prescribing to help with my current depression and hopefully my anxiety and adhd. anyone who has experience with it please share it would be greatly appreciated!!

[donnieisaprettyboy]

me: so yeah my antidepressants double as my adhd meds so I’ve been having a pretty hard time since I haven’t been able to get ahold of them-

person not even apart of the conversation: oh I could NEVER take adhd meds

me:

person: I did once and I just felt like such a ZOMBIE how do you even FUNCTION like that

me:

person: no cuz like I didn’t even feel like a PERSON when I was medicated how do you MANAGE being medicated

me: …cuz if I don’t take them I’ll kill myself-

[lt-sarai]

Day 1 of Welbutrin offbrand Bupropion XL 150mg:

Forgot to take with food. Upset stomach. Quickly fixed by chicken nuggets.

No other effects.

Let's see if day 2 is better with cereal for breakfast.

[finboii]

new gym shorts get here monday. ordered them online in a Med and they BEtTeR lOOk NicE

[weirdpersonifiedpills]

Dilf detected

[quote4me]

[subtextread]

pharmacy delay on my wellbutrin script but I’m scared to start it anyway so 🤝

[fitgothgirl]

Just saw my psychiatrist; after over three years, I'm going to finally* see how I am with weaning off my Effexor. I started it February 2021 and had gradually ended up at the max dose of it. But last July I started Wellbutrin (along with the Effexor, since they're different kinds of meds), and that's where things really changed for me I think. I've still been on the Effexor this whole time too because it helped me decently the first year or two, so I've been nervous about stopping it for a little while, just being unsure if it's somehow working in tandem with the Wellbutrin (which is a possibility). But I know I'm in a better place now and I'm taking much better care of myself and have learned things in therapy, etc., so I feel like it's a good time to at least give it a shot, and if it's not right for me then we'll just stop/go back.

But man would I love fewer pills lol. My Effexor is two pills too because I take 225mg and they don't make 225mg pills, so I take a 150mg and a 75mg every day. 🙄 Annoying and costly (I have insurance so we're talking less than $20 a month, but that's still $20 a month and I have money problems lol). Also Effexor is the one medication that will cause physical symptoms if I take my dose late, even just barely (it has such a short half-life and some people, like me apparently, process it extra quick).

TMI: Also I feel like Effexor still has some minor effects on my libido. Wellbutrin honestly helped it/made my orgasms stronger & last longer (hell yeah brother), but if I've recently taken my Effexor, reaching an orgasm in the first place is more difficult. I do take it in the evening though so sleep takes care of a lot of that, but still.

Anyway. Here we go! 🤞🏼

*"Finally" sounds like it's something that already "should" have been done or is something to be strived for, but that's not my meaning; I'm very pro-stay-on-an-antidepressant-forever-if-it-works-for-you. I just mean "finally" in that I've been on it for a while and have been considering weaning for a bit now too.