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moomuzan · 2 days ago

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— 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙

your wounds are critical! chuuya , akutagawa , dazai , two endings: no-comfort & comfort , requested

Unraveling, the night was a cacophony of chaos. The scent of blood lingered in the air, mingling with the acrid tang of gunpowder. The world around him was a haze of noise and movement, but Chuuya saw none of it. He was focused on you, lying on the cold pavement, your body still and fragile in the growing pool of your own blood.

“Hey,” he rasped, his voice breaking as he dropped to his knees beside you, his hands trembling as they hovered over the wound in your abdomen. “Stay with me. Don’t you dare give up on me now.”

You blinked up at him, your vision hazy and unfocused. The corners of your lips quirked in a weak attempt at a smile, the kind you always gave him when you were trying to reassure him—even now, when you were the one who needed reassurance.

“Ch-Chuuya… I’m fine…” Your words were a whisper, barely audible over the pounding in his ears.

“No, you’re not!” he snapped, his voice raw and desperate. “Don’t say that. You’re not fine—you’re bleeding out!” His gloved hands pressed down on the wound, trying to stem the relentless flow of crimson that spilled between his fingers.

It was everywhere, staining his hands, soaking into his coat, dripping onto the ground—The sight of your blood shattered something inside him. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You were supposed to be untouchable, invincible, his equal in every way. You were his partner, the one person he trusted to have his back.

And now you were slipping away.

He threw his hat aside, his fiery hair clinging to his forehead, damp with sweat. His eyes glistened, but no tears fell—not yet. Instead, his fury burned hotter than ever.

“They’ll pay for this,” he growled under his breath, his voice low and venomous. “Every single one of them. I’ll make them regret the day they thought they could touch you.”

But his anger was hollow, a desperate attempt to distract himself from the reality unfolding in front of him. Every breath you took was shallower than the last, and he couldn’t stop the dread creeping into his heart.

happy ending

Chuuya didn’t leave your side—not for a second. He carried you in his arms, running through the streets with a single-minded determination that bordered on madness. The people who dared to get in his way didn’t live long enough to regret it.

When he finally reached an empty building, he laid you down on a makeshift bed, his hands working with frantic precision to tend to your wounds. He tore off his gloves, his fingers shaking as he cleaned and dressed the injury, his mind screaming at him to stay calm.

“Don’t you dare die on me,” he muttered under his breath, his voice cracking. “You hear me? I’m not letting you go. Not like this.”

As the hours passed in agonizing silence, broken only by the sound of your labored breathing, Chuuya sat beside you, his hand wrapped around yours, his thumb brushing against your knuckles. He spoke to you—soft, quiet words filled with guilt and love, his usually sharp tone now trembling with vulnerability.

When your eyes finally fluttered open, your voice was faint but steady. “Chuuya…”

Relief flooded his face, and he leaned closer, his forehead resting against yours. “You scared the hell out of me,” he whispered. “Don’t ever do that again, you hear me?”

You smiled weakly, squeezing his hand. “I’ll try.”

Chuuya didn’t let go of you, not that night or the nights that followed. He stayed by your side, caring for you with a tenderness that only you ever got to see, his usual brash demeanor softened by the sheer relief of having you alive.

sad ending

Chuuya’s fury burned like a wildfire, consuming everything in its path. He carried you to the nearest safe house, his movements quick and precise, but his heart was a storm of fear and guilt.

Once inside, he worked tirelessly to tend to your wounds, his hands steady but his mind fractured. He talked to you, begged you to stay awake, to fight, but your responses grew weaker and weaker.

When he finally finished patching you up, he collapsed into a chair beside the bed, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. The room was too quiet, the sound of your breathing too faint.

“You’ve got to pull through,” he murmured, his voice barely audible. “I can’t do this without you. I need you.”

Hours passed, and Chuuya didn’t move. His eyes were fixed on you, on the shallow rise and fall of your chest, on the pale color of your skin. He wanted to believe you would wake up, that you would pull through like you always did.

But doubt gnawed at him, an unrelenting reminder of the fragility of life. The memory of your blood on his hands, of the way your body had gone limp in his arms, haunted him like a ghost.

When dawn broke, the faint light spilling through the window did nothing to ease his torment. He sat there, still as stone, waiting, hoping, praying for a sign that you would come back to him.

But you didn’t wake—not yet. And Chuuya was left in the agonizing limbo of uncertainty, caught between the hope that you would survive and the crushing guilt that he had failed to protect you.

For the first time in his life, Chuuya Nakahara felt truly powerless. And it was a feeling he would never forgive himself for.

As a mentor Akutagawa had always been unrelenting, cold, and merciless. The way he barked orders and pushed you beyond your limits was suffocating at times, but you knew it stemmed from something deeper—a warped belief in perfection, in power, in survival. He demanded nothing less than absolute excellence, and you worked tirelessly to meet his expectations, even when they left you bruised and battered.

However, this mission was different. It was dangerous, even by his standards, and the risk was glaringly obvious. He had chosen you for it anyway, confident in your ability to deliver. Confidence that now felt like arrogance as he scoured the desolate streets, his coat whipping around him in the wind, his sharp eyes darting in search of any sign of you.

You were late—far too late. And by the time these hours turned to days, dread began to sink its claws into him, deeper and deeper with every second of silence. He replayed the last time he’d seen you, the way you’d nodded with quiet determination when he gave you your orders. You had trusted him, relied on him to prepare you. And now, the thought that you might be gone, that he had sent you to your death, was a weight he couldn't bear.

When he finally found you, collapsed in a heap in the shadows of a back alley, his breath caught in his throat. Blood soaked your clothes, dripping onto the cracked pavement below. Your skin was pallid, your chest rising and falling in shallow, uneven breaths. You looked like a ghost of yourself, barely clinging to life.

Akutagawa stood frozen for a moment, his mind racing with emotions he didn’t know how to process. Anger, guilt, and something else—a foreign ache that felt far too close to grief. He approached you slowly, his usual sharp, deliberate movements replaced by something hesitant, almost tender.

“Fool,” he hissed under his breath, though his voice wavered. “Why didn’t you retreat when it became too much? Why didn’t you come back to me?”

Stirring slightly at the sound of his voice, your eyes fluttered open just enough to meet his gaze. “I… I thought I could handle it,” you whispered, your voice so faint it was almost swallowed by the wind.

Akutagawa clenched his jaw, kneeling beside you. His hands hovered over you, unsure of where to start. He had always been so sure of himself, so in control, but now? Now, he felt powerless.

happy ending

Akutagawa wasted no time. He lifted you into his arms, his expression hardening into a mask of determination. He wasn’t going to lose you—not like this.

Instinctively, he brought you to the Mafia hideout, ignoring the startled glances of the other members as he stormed through the corridors. His focus was singular, his steps purposeful as he gathered everything he needed to tend to your wounds.

For hours, he worked in silence, his sharp, precise movements betraying the storm brewing inside him. He cleaned and bandaged your wounds with care that seemed almost out of character, his hands steady despite the turmoil in his chest.

When you finally regained consciousness, your voice was weak but steady. “Why are you… doing this?”

Not looking at you, his focus was hyper-fixed on tightening the last bandage around your arm. “Because you’re still my responsibility,” he muttered, though the words carried an undercurrent of something deeper.

Over the next few weeks, he rarely left your side. He ensured you had everything you needed to recover, from medical supplies to food, though he never lingered long enough for the conversations to grow soft. He kept his distance emotionally, even as his actions betrayed his concern.

On the day you were finally strong enough to stand on your own, you thanked him quietly, and for a brief moment, something unspoken passed between you. His gaze lingered on you a second too long before he turned away, his coat billowing as he walked toward the door.

“Don’t fail me again,” he said, though his voice lacked its usual bite. And when you joined him on the battlefield once more, it was as though nothing had changed—except for the silent understanding that he would never let you fall again.

sad ending

Lost in motion, Akutagawa carried you to a secluded place, far from the chaos of the city, where the air was still and heavy with the scent of earth and rain. He laid you down gently, his hands trembling as he tried to stop the bleeding, to keep you alive. But the wound was too deep, the damage too severe.

“You’re going to be fine,” he said, though his voice lacked its usual conviction. It sounded more like a plea than a statement, a desperate attempt to will the universe into giving him more time.

Smiling faintly—your lips pale and cracked. “You don’t… have to lie,” you whispered, your words slurred with exhaustion.

“Stop talking,” he snapped, though his tone was more broken than angry. “Save your strength.”

Of course, you didn’t stop. “I… wanted to prove myself to you,” you murmured, your eyes fluttering shut for a moment before you forced them open again. “I wanted… to be someone you could rely on.”

As Akutagawa’s chest tightened, he surely didn’t know what to say. He had always believed in power, in strength, in the cold, unfeeling logic of survival. But now, as he watched you slip away, he realized how hollow those beliefs felt without you by his side.

“Don’t go,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. His hand hovered over yours, hesitating before he finally took it, his grip firm but trembling. “You don’t get to leave me like this. Not after everything.”

Your breathing grew slower, more labored, until it finally stopped altogether. Akutagawa didn’t move, didn’t speak. He sat there, his hand still clutching yours, his usually cold, emotionless expression shattered by a grief he couldn’t contain.

When the sun rose, casting its golden light over the world, he was still there, silent and still, watching over your lifeless body as though he could bring you back to life through sheer force of will. But no matter how much he wanted to, you were gone. And he was left with nothing but the ghost of your presence and the crushing weight of his own failure.

Dazai Osamu had always been an artist of detachment, a master of keeping the world at arm’s length, of slipping between roles and masks until even he could no longer remember where the performance ended and the truth began. But with you, he’d let himself forget the artifice, if only for fleeting moments. You, the civilian who had somehow carved your way into the abyss of his existence, had become an unwelcome but intoxicating anomaly.

Though he never admitted it—not even to himself, you were his sanctuary. The weight of his sins seemed lighter when he lay beside you, your warmth an anchor against the ever-present pull of the void. You were the only piece of his life untainted by blood, betrayal, and violence, and that was why he kept you far away from the shadows that clung to him like a second skin.

But no matter how hard Dazai tried to shield you, the world he belonged to always found a way to destroy everything good.

The hitmen weren’t looking for you. They wanted him—Dazai Osamu, the man who had walked out of hell and left corpses in his wake. But when they didn’t find him, they found you instead. And they made you their message.

He came home to silence—a silence that wasn’t the kind you filled with soft conversation or lazy laughter. This silence was heavier, darker, and it hit him in the chest like the memory of a long-forgotten betrayal.

Dazai knew before he even saw the blood.

The sight of you lying there, your body broken and barely clinging to life, stole the air from his lungs. For a moment, he stood frozen, his mind blank as the weight of it all came crashing down. And then something primal snapped inside him.

His voice was low as he called out your name, trembling, barely audible. He dropped to his knees beside you, his fingers shaking as he touched your blood-streaked face, as if he were afraid you’d shatter beneath his touch.

You were still breathing, but it was faint, so faint that he felt like every second could be your last.

“Why—why did this have to happen?” he whispered, his words more to himself than to you. He pressed his forehead to yours, his eyes burning with unshed tears. “I kept you away from all of this, didn’t I? I thought I did...”

And yet, even in this, he couldn’t escape the guilt, the bitter irony of how his world devoured anything it touched.

happy ending

Against all odds, you survived. Dazai, his hands unsteady but precise, tended to your wounds in those first crucial hours, working with a focus born of desperation. He called in favors, used every connection he had to ensure you lived.

When you finally opened your eyes, weak and disoriented, he was there. His face betrayed nothing, but his hands—gentle as they brushed the hair from your face—told a different story.

“You’re safe now,” he murmured, though the words felt hollow even to him.

In the days that followed, he didn’t leave your side. He cared for you with a devotion so intense it bordered on obsession. He bought you whatever you needed, whatever you might want, as if material things could erase the pain, as if spoiling you could atone for his failure.

But no matter how much he gave, the guilt never left. Every time he looked at you, he saw the scars—both the ones on your skin and the ones buried deeper, in places he could never reach.

Dazai, the man who had once thought himself untouchable, now found himself tethered to a new kind of torment: the knowledge that he had been the one to bring ruin to the one thing he loved.

sad ending

But fate wasn’t kind, and this time, the genius himself couldn’t outsmart the universe.

You didn’t make it.

Holding you as the life drained from your body, his voice was soft and trembling as he whispered words meant to soothe, to distract you from the pain.

“Just stay with me a little longer,” he pleaded, his tone almost casual, as if he could trick you into staying by pretending this wasn’t goodbye. “We’ll laugh about this later, won’t we? You’ll make fun of me for being so dramatic, and I’ll tell you how ridiculous you are for worrying me like this.”

Still, even as he spoke, he felt your breaths grow weaker, your body heavier in his arms. And when you finally stilled, when the silence became absolute, Dazai didn’t cry.

Instead, he sat there, holding you, his mind a maelstrom of thoughts too fractured to form words. He replayed every moment he’d spent with you, every smile, every laugh, every time you had looked at him like he was more than the sum of his sins.

And now you were gone.

The hitmen who had done this would pay—of that, he was certain. But even vengeance felt hollow, meaningless, because no amount of bloodshed could bring you back.

As he laid your body down and stepped away, he thought of all the times he had tried to leave the darkness behind, all the times he had thought you might be the one to pull him out of it.

In the end, Dazai was a man who destroyed everything he touched. And now, as he walked away from the life you would never return to, he realized that perhaps he had always known this would end in ruin.

Because that’s what he was: ruin, wrapped in charm and wit and hollow smiles. And this—losing you—was the cost of pretending he could be anything else.

thx for reading <3

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moomuzan · 15 hours ago

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— 𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞 𝖔𝖋 𝖚𝖘

they leave you waiting at the alter ? chuuya , akutagawa , dazai , angst , requested

Within a grove of birch trees, the clearing nestled deep, the soft hush of leaves moving in the wind was a solemn hymn to the life you thought you’d begin today. The late afternoon sun filtered through the canopy above, casting dappled patterns of gold and shadow onto the small wooden altar. It was simple, intimate—just you, the pastor, and the man who was supposed to meet you here.

But Dazai wasn’t coming.

Standing there, your breath came short as you glanced back toward the narrow path that led to the grove. It was empty. Too heavy on your shoulders, the lace of the dress clinged to your skin like a suffocating second layer. The bouquet trembled in your hands, but you didn’t feel its weight. All you could feel was the growing void in your chest, a silence louder than any words could ever be.

The marriage officiant, a kind man with an understanding gaze, shifted awkwardly, his hands folded before him. “Perhaps he’s just delayed,” he murmured, though his words lacked conviction. You nodded, a small, tight movement, as if any larger one might shatter the fragile mask of hope you were barely holding together.

But Dazai wasn’t delayed. He had never intended to come.

Far from the grove, he sat in a darkened room, his head bowed over his hands. His suit jacket lay discarded across the back of a chair, his tie hanging loosely around his neck. He hadn’t even made it out the door.

As he thought of you, standing there alone in that quiet, sacred space, waiting for him with that soft, unwavering faith in your eyes—the faith that had always undone him, his heart felt like bursting. You had always seen him as something more than he was. A man, instead of a ghost. A lover, instead of a weapon.

And that was why he couldn’t come.

How could he stand before you, in the quiet holiness of that grove, and make promises he knew he could never keep? How could he say the words that would bind your life to his, knowing that everything he touched withered in his hands?

God, he blamed himself for ever asking you. For letting the idea of happiness bloom, even for a moment. It was cruel of him, selfish, to let you believe he could be anything more than the man he was. You were light, and he was a black hole, endlessly consuming, endlessly hollow. He would have pulled you in, dragged you down, stripped away every piece of you until there was nothing left but regret.

And so he stayed. He stayed in that room with its suffocating walls and stagnant air, drinking whiskey he couldn’t taste and staring at his own reflection in the darkened window. The man who stared back at him was a coward, but at least he wasn’t a liar. For once.

Hours passed as the sun set over the grove, casting long, eerie shadows through the trees. When the officiant eventually left, offering you a look of deep pity and a quiet reassurance that he would wait until you were ready to go, you nodded absently, but your feet remained rooted to the spot, your eyes fixed on the path as though sheer willpower could make him appear.

It didn’t.

When the cold crept in, and the shadows swallowed the last of the light, you finally turned away, your steps heavy, the rustle of your dress against the ground a mournful echo of what should have been.

Somewhere far away, Dazai let his head fall into his hands, his shoulders shaking as the weight of his choice crushed him. You deserved better, he told himself over and over. Someone who would stand at that altar without hesitation. Someone who wouldn’t falter under the weight of love.

Yet, no matter how many times he repeated it, no matter how deeply he tried to convince himself, the truth hung in the air like a noose around his neck: he loved you. He loved you more than anything.

And he had broken you anyway.

Akutagawa had never believed in love. Not really. It was a word, a weakness wrapped in sentimentality, something people clung to when they had nothing else. And yet, against all odds, against his better judgment, he had loved you. It wasn’t a grand, sweeping love, but something raw, unspoken—a quiet tether that grounded him in a way nothing else ever had.

But love, he knew, was dangerous. Love was the crack in the armor, the flaw that could be exploited. Love could kill a man faster than any blade, and in his line of work, weakness was not an option.

So, as he stood outside the quiet hall where your wedding was supposed to take place, the weight of his decision pressing down on him, Akutagawa felt the sharp, cold edge of resolve slicing through his chest. He would not go in.

As he walked to the venue, his usual coat replaced with a dark, tailored suit, the world had been silent around him. The streets felt foreign, as if they were holding their breath, knowing what he was about to do. Even now, standing in the shadow of the doorway, he could feel the pull of you inside—your hope, your belief in him, the warmth you so freely offered despite all the walls he had built to keep you out.

For a brief second, he almost let himself indulge in the thought of it. The vows, the quiet promise of forever. The possibility of something different, something better. Swiftly, he had allowed himself to imagine it once, in the fleeting moments of silence between missions, when you would sit beside him and rest your head on his shoulder. A life where he could hold onto you, where he didn’t have to fight tooth and nail for every shred of safety and peace.

Though, that was a lie.

No matter how strong you tried to be, you weren’t like him. You didn’t belong in the shadows, in the violence and you certainly deserved a life free of blood and death and enemies lurking around every corner. And Akutagawa, for all his love, could never give you that.

It wasn’t doubt that made him hesitate; it was the overwhelming certainty that this—you—were the greatest weakness he had ever known. And for that, he couldn’t forgive himself.

Turning away from the door, Akutagawa’s steps were deliberate, the weight of his decision heavy but unwavering. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to marry you. He wanted nothing more. Ironically, this was his way of protecting you, of ending the part of himself that dared to hope, to love.

As the streets stretched out before him, gray and empty, he walked further and further from the venue. The invitation you had sent, carefully placed in his coat pocket, felt like a brand against his chest. Even as his mind conjured the image of you waiting, your dress immaculate, your eyes searching for him with the kind of trust that had always cut him to the bone, he didn’t look back,

Thinking of the promises he would never make, the life he would never share with you, he told himself it was better this way, though the words rang hollow in his mind. You would hate him, yes, but you would live. And that was all that mattered.

By the time you realized he wasn’t coming, he hoped you would be angry, furious even. He hoped you would hate him enough to let him go, to move on, to forget the man who had left you standing there with nothing but silence and shadows.

The black haired didn’t deserve you. He never had.

As he disappeared into the fog of Yokohama, Akutagawa let himself feel it—just once. The ache of leaving you behind, the unbearable weight of the love he had tried so hard to deny. He clenched his fists, nails biting into his palms as if pain could ground him, remind him why this was necessary.

This was his final act of love, twisted and cruel as it was. To walk away, to sever the bond that had made him weak, to save you from himself and the life that followed him like a curse.

Back at the venue, the clock struck the hour, the silence deafening as the officiant shifted awkwardly. The room was empty except for you, standing alone, your bouquet trembling in your hands. —And somewhere, miles away, Akutagawa kept walking, his heart a hollow shell of what it once was. This was the end. Not just of you and him, but of the part of himself that had dared to dream of something more.

He had loved you, yes. But love was weakness. And he couldn’t afford to be weak.

Being a a reflection of Chuuya himself the venue was loud, vibrant, and brimming with intensity. Fairy lights hung in tangled swirls across the ceiling, their soft glow flickering like fireflies against the polished walls. Bottles of the finest champagne chilled in ornate buckets, waiting to be uncorked in celebration. Tables overflowed with flowers, their deep red petals scattered like drops of blood across the white tablecloths. It was the kind of wedding Chuuya had always imagined—a celebration that burned bright, bold, and unforgettable.

And yet, the groom was nowhere to be found.

You waited in the dressing room, smoothing down the delicate folds of your gown with trembling hands, trying to steady your heartbeat as the minutes bled into hours. Guests whispered amongst themselves beyond the door, their voices a distant hum. But Chuuya—your Chuuya—had yet to come.

However, In a dimly lit corner of a bar, far, far from the celebration, Chuuya was drowning.

Having left the penthouse early, he was dressed sharp in his tailored suit, his fiery hair tied back with care. For weeks, he had been excited, eager, ready to make you his in every possible way. With fervor he had thrown himself into the plans—choosing the venue, the wine, the music. It had all been for you, to give you the world, to make you feel adored and cherished.

But now, sitting alone in a booth surrounded by the sharp sting of alcohol and the suffocating haze of his own doubt, he realized the truth he had been too afraid to face: he couldn’t go through with it. Not like this. Not in this life.

Chuuya wasn’t a man who second-guessed himself often. He was decisive, confident, a force of nature. But the thought of standing at that altar, of binding you to him with words he wasn’t sure he deserved to say, paralyzed him.

What kind of life could he give you? A life filled with shadows, with danger, with the blood he spilled just to survive? You deserved something clean, something bright—a life untouched by the darkness that followed him like a curse.

The red head slammed back another shot of whiskey, the burn in his throat a poor distraction from the guilt that gnawed at his insides. He thought the alcohol might dull the ache, might make it easier to forget the look in your eyes as you stood waiting for him. But it didn’t.

Instead, it sharpened everything. He could see you so clearly in his mind, your face lit with the hope he had spent months building. He thought about your laugh, the way it made him feel human in a world that so often turned him into a weapon. You were everything good, everything he had never thought he could have.

Which was exactly the problem.

Draining another glass, the liquid sloshed over the rim as his hands started shaking. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he should stop, knew he was teetering on the edge of losing himself entirely. But he didn’t care. He welcomed the numbness, the oblivion, anything to drown out the voice in his head screaming at him to get up, to go to you, to stop running from the one thing that made him feel alive.

Though, he didn’t move.

Back at the venue, the silence was deafening. The band had stopped playing, the champagne left untouched, the guests slowly filtering out one by one. Sitting alone at the head table, the flowers wilted under the weight of the night’s abandonment. Suffocating, you stared at the empty seat beside you.

By the time the last guest left, and the lights dimmed to a muted glow, you finally let the tears fall. The weight of it all—the love, the loss, the unanswered questions—pressed down on you like a tidal wave.

And somewhere, Chuuya sat slumped in the corner of that bar, his head in his hands, the world spinning around him as the reality of what he had done set in. He had broken the only good thing in his life, and he didn’t even have the courage to face it.

“Idiot,” he muttered to himself, his voice hoarse. “You’re such a goddamn idiot.”

But the words meant nothing. They couldn’t bring him to you. They couldn’t undo the wreckage he had caused. And as the hours bled into dawn, and the whiskey ran dry, Chuuya realized he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

But by then, it was too late.

…. i couldn’t stop listening to this when i wrote this (i hide my love for taylor like a drug addiction.)

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