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friesforfriday · 1 year ago

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A real first kiss (Matt Murdock x F!Reader / College AU)

Summary: You tell Matt no one has ever kissed you out of love. He makes sure to correct that.

Wordcount: 2.5K ish

Warnings/Tags: No use of y/n, reader uses she/her pronouns (no physical descriptions aside from that), college AU, Matt and reader are both in law school, some angst, something that could be read as dissociation (reader feels disconnected to an experience), reader is not straight? (no sexual orientation specified but there's an interaction that is not heterosexual / only kissing tho), comfort at the end (bc I am a sucker for happy endings lol)

A/N: This was oddly personal, and while it’s a little short it was very therapeutic to write. Pretty much wanted to do something that related to being a late bloomer (like I have been my whole life) plus some fluff (: Please take into account that this wasn't proof read and that English isn't my first language; if you happen to see any mistakes, do let me know so I can fix them. Hope you enjoy this!

For most people, their first kiss was usually a memory of their early teenage years, maybe even a childhood one. You could recall the stories your friends have told you. For some it was born out of sunny days during summer camp where connections were born after swimming in a lake all afternoon, quickly followed by laughter scattered into open fields or forests between games of capture the flag. That turned into late-night conversations, sneaking out from each other’s cabin after curfew to meet under the starry sky.

Or perhaps for some it started out as a hallway crush. The kind that you would reveal only to your closest friends, and you all hid under silly codenames. If you locked eyes during free period, it stirred up giggling. And guess what?It turned out they’d been watching you all along. After gathering all your courage, a study date would turn into something more once your knuckles brushed accidentally.

The list could go and on, their stories all very innocent and sweet, most likely a terrible kisses, but nevertheless worth remembering.

If you added to that all the romantic books you’d read, movies, and what not, there were plenty more stories you could think of, from childhood friends turned to high school sweethearts or plenty about games of truth or dare or spin the bottle. Reality or fiction, first kisses tended to be meaningless beyond their experience value, with the rare exception of those who actually found love through them.

Throughout the years, you had patiently waited for your turn. You didn’t have many expectations of how it would actually happen, you just held on for the moment to finally occur. How difficult could it be? It literally seemed to happen to everyone around you. So you just waited, surely things would flow naturally, right?

Middle school rolled by, which was fine. A lot of people need more time to grow into themselves, it would eventually happen, you were sure. Maybe it wasn’t going to be one of those awkward extended pecks that your friends said seemed to last forever. They insisted it was for the best, no one really knows what they’re doing when they still haven’t even fully hit puberty. If you had your first kiss a little later in life, there was a higher chance it wasn’t going to be completely awful. You could deal with that; high school was supposed to be a more exciting chance to expand your circle.

Boy were you wrong.

By this point, it was possible that maybe you had watched too many rom-coms or read one too many romance novels. You’re sure now that it helped in no way to ease your expectations. Seriously how difficult could it be? You saw it all. Your best friends got into relationships, went on dates, celebrated anniversaries, and had their hearts broken, only to survive them and start all over again. Kids in your classes, the kind to never speak their minds, suddenly grew into themselves and found their people too.

During lunchtime, couples sat next to each other, holding hands in the cafeteria. Field trips meant seeing impromptu make-out sessions in the back of the school bus. Your friends received proposals for homecoming and eventually proms; always happy to invite you to come along when you didn’t receive any. At the occasional party you did attend, corners turned into your safe spot as you watched as others were approached. Not once did anyone come to strike up a conversation, to casually sweep you off your feet. It only led you to wonder if you were doing something, anything, wrong.

Love seemed to be everywhere, just never in your life.

You’d be lying to say it didn’t hurt your self-esteem. How come it hadn’t happened to you? Were you really that unattractive or uninteresting or whatever it was for no one to be interested in you? Your friends, or anyone who found out, always assured you saying you weren’t the problem, but the evidence seemed to point elsewhere.

You manages to endure a little longer. After your high school graduation, the prospect of college lifted you spirits. With all the people that attended such a big school, you’d be sure to meet new people or at least get your mind off it.

It was even worse. Nothing could’ve prepared you for the embarrassment inexperience brought upon you. At some point you just started to lie your way through games of never have I ever; because let’s face it, admitting to a dozen strangers that you’ve never even held hands romantically wasn’t how you pictured spending your Friday and Saturday evenings. And that wasn’t even the worst part. Opening bathroom doors to couples straight up fucking or having to leave your dorm when your roommate brought a date every other week made you feel majority behind.

After spending your freshman year sulking, you decided it had been enough. At this point, you knew you were a late bloomer, but c’mon, those “the right person will find you when you least expect it” pep talks were starting to feel like bullshit. For fucks sake, it didn’t even matter anymore if they actually liked you, you just wanted to get it over with.

Matters were taken into your own hands on a Saturday night. The crowded spaces did you no favors to appease your social anxiety. As you walked around, room after room was filled to the brim with strangers, your friends nowhere to be found. The floor of the frat house they had dragged you to remained particularly sticky everywhere you went, especially in the kitchen where you had stopped to refill the red plastic cup in your hands.

As you poured rum into your half full glass of coke, a familiar voice called your name from across the room, “Oh my God, is that really you?”

And so, greetings were exchanged, as well as short debriefings of what you’d been up to since graduating. For all the time you’d been at Columbia, that was the first time you’d run into someone from your hometown.

Soon enough you were sitting in a half-empty deck, laughing and reminiscing about middle school. The green eyes that looked at you weren’t full of love or lust, but had a strange tinge of nostalgia. If you were being honest, it was one of those old friendships that stood had faded into nothing more than an acquaintance, and you suddenly knew you had an opportunity laid at your feet.

In all honesty, you could’ve gone simply with catching up and then left to look for one of your friends. Looking at him, you recalled all the times you joked around in Literature class or the times his parents gave you a ride home before you inevitably grew apart in high school. There was no spark when your knees brushed in the small sofa you were sitting in; but there was no discomfort either, so against your better judgement you decided to go for it.

By all means, it was a good kiss, at least that’s how you remember it now. At the time, there wasn’t anything else to compare it to, but none of the complaints you’d heard before happened. There wasn’t any unnecessary clash of teeth, it didn’t feel like he was shoving his tongue down your throat, he kept his hands safely and softly cupping your cheeks and neck. According to all the standards of all of your friends, this was an A+ experience.

By the time you were heading back to your dorm, you found yourself finally able to check having your first kiss off your bucket list. A sudden feeling of pride ran through your body as you walked through campus. Finally.

Unfortunately, though, after you’d washed your face and were sharing the news over the phone with your best friend, you realized that while everything had seemingly gone smoothly, you still felt the odd knot inside your chest. Like nothing had really changed. It was hard to put into words, how your body had felt out of its own, like you were playing a character as your lips met his, or maybe it was just your mind playing tricks on you. Because for some reason, you hadn’t really felt there when it happened. It just sort of seemed to occur.

“You’re kidding, right?” Matt’s said flat out, although you knew his deadpan tone was just for show.

Letting out a giggle you said, “Why would I lie about that?”

“That jerk was your first kiss?”

“He wasn’t a jerk, we were friends in mid-” you tried to defend the choices of you past self between bursts of laughter, but he didn’t let you continue. His sour expression growing by the second.

“He’s a conservative bigot, a Republican-governor-wannabe, how is he not–”

“He wasn’t back then!” Raising your tone, you barely held it in before your laughter burst out again at the same time Matt’s did, because yeah he was right – that dude did end up becoming a jerk. Except it didn’t really matter because you were never actually into him, and you can’t blame yourself for who your middle school classmates end up becoming.

“But he is now.”

You both kept laughing, shoulders brushing as you sat on the bed on his side of the dorm room. Foggy had ditched you both for tonight, opting out of your usual weekend hangout in favor of a date with someone called Marci, or so he’d said.

“Okay, okay, fiiiine, I’ll give you that,” you said in your defense, lightly shoving his shoulder with your own. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I didn’t actually like him.”

“Wait…” Matt said scrunching his nose in disbelief, his laughter slowly dying down, his face dead serious for real this time. “What are you talking about, why'd you kiss him then?”

With his face suddenly turned in your direction, you felt a your cheeks grow warm. “I guess… I just wanted to get it over with.”

An apologetic smile was what he offered in return, with no real judgment behind it. “Well, it should’ve been more special ... silly as it may be, you know... not just anyone.”

His words stop you in your tracks for a split second, a bittersweet feeling creeping up your chest. You’d never actually considered it, but in the years that had passed since that night, you didn’t recall that any other single kiss you’d received had actually been born from real love or any true feelings at all.

There was that one time you hit it off with someone at a friend’s birthday. The light conversation between the colorful lights had you blushing more than usual. Their body was warm against yours when their lips were pressed to your own. The taste of their lip balm was sweet, almost sugary on your tongue, but it was all a spur-of-the-moment situation. While, unlike the first time, where you’d felt disconnected from your body, this time you’d actually enjoyed it. There was a warm feeling, maybe happiness, but definitely not affection and surely not love.

Then there were some other guys, whom you had very much liked. They listened to you and talked eagerly with you every time you bumped into each other, yet never actually asked you out. They flirted with you or had their friends act as their wingmen to eventually end up making out with you during random parties, but never – you realized – not one single time had anyone ever been interested in you affectionately, with tenderness or sincerity.

As if on cue, as if he could somehow sense what you were thinking, Matt broke the sudden silence that had grown in the room. “I didn’t mean to overstep I–”

You shook your head, breaking free from your thoughts, “No, no, I just… I don’t think I’ve ever had a…” Your voice quieted down before you could finish the sentence. While you weren’t ashamed of any of your experiences anymore, you couldn’t quite seem to get rid of the lingering pain that followed all of them.

“A real connection?”

Your eyes darted up to look at Matt; red glasses were shielding his eyes from yours, but did not cover the furrow of concern between his brows. It wasn’t a secret to Matt that you’d never been in a relationship. You’d told him at some point, during one of the many late-night conversations you enjoyed having. He’d found it hard to believe, truly, how anyone would pass on the chance of earning your trust. The thing was, anyone willing to pass on your endless compassion, your particular sense of humor, the softness of your skin, or the brilliance of your mind was a jackass, and he sure as hell wasn’t one.

He’d known you all of law school, at least all year and a half you’d both taken of it, although to him it might as well be a lifetime because he couldn’t quite picture a time when he didn’t recognize the sound of your heartbeat by memory. Right from the day you sat next to him in the Civil Procedures course, it took him no time to think of an excuse to talk to you, ignoring Foggy – who was also sitting next to him – to ask you if you’d care to study together someday.

Here and now, your very same heartbeat thumped loudly mere inches away from him. The opportunity he had once longed for.

“C’mon man, you gotta tell her at some point” was what Foggy had told him a few hours prior, before he’d left you two alone on purpose. “She obviously likes you, for real. It’s time.”

“I don’t know, Foggy. I don’t want to pressure her, what if she doesn’t want to be anything more than friends? I–”

“Oh my God, Matt! Are you being serious?” He said in a mock tone, “You don’t want to pressure her? She has completely memorized the way you take your tea and somehow prepares it perfectly in the shitty dining hall microwave. She genuinely prefers spending every Saturday night holed up in our dorm or out at Josie’s or pretty much anywhere just to sit next to you. She literally looks at you with stars in her eyes.”

Chuckling, Matt did his best to play coy, “Well, I can’t know about that last part–”

“You know what I mean. You have to tell her, tonight.” Foggy insisted as he made his way out of the dorm room; he pointed his finger at Matt before he fully headed out, “God forbids you actually pursue something that might make you happy. I’ll be over at Marci’s, don’t wait up for me…”

So yeah, Matt knew what he had to do. “I think I’d like to object to that… if that’s okay with you.”

At your silence– aside from the way your heartbeat continued to pick up – he proceeded, “You don’t really think there isn’t a single soul who’d honestly care for you, do you?”

His hand slowly moved from where it rested atop his lap. His knuckles gently brushed your knee and grazed your hand, guiding themselves with the line of your arm all the way up until they reached your shoulder. A small smile grew on your face and quickly turned into laughter. “Matt, are you serious?”

“I’m sorry it took me this long to tell you.” In a second, he mirrored your laughter, nodding his head. He felt the warmth of your fingers cover his other hand. “Is it okay if I– can I kiss you?”

If you recalled correctly, no one had ever asked you that, in all of your lifetime. Surely, for you, this was a first of its kind.

As soon as you said yes, dexterous fingers slid around your waist, gently coaxing you towards him, before taking off his glasses. Your body didn’t resist complying, the warmth of Matt’s chest as inviting as the feeling of his heartbeat against yours, your legs at ease around his own.

The stubble across his neck gently brushed against your fingers, a tingling sensation that almost sent shivers down your spine. This close, there was no escaping the soft smell of soap and cinnamon from his skin or the way his breath fanned across your face. Warmth grew inside your chest as you felt the soft brush of his lips on yours, almost melting together. It was slow and languid, much like honey trickling down your tongue. You were sure it could be just as sweet too, a kind of feeling you had never felt before.

A feeling you guessed was reciprocated if the rumble that reverberated through Matt’s throat was anything to go by. He couldn’t tell why he had waited so long to do this; all of his excuses gone the second the softest skin of your mouth met his. As far as he knew, he could stay with you like this for hours. He didn’t want to pressure you– not even when your breathing got a little faster or when your lips parted oh-so-gently to let him seek out your taste– but this much he could do.

The only reason he found to pull back was to ask you, catching his breath and brushing his thumb over your lower lip, “Does this mean I can take you out tomorrow night? We can do this properly.”

You smiled to yourself, “Only if you kiss me like that again.”

If you're here, thank you so much for reading!!! Please please please let me know what you thought - all feedback is appreciated- and consider reblogging if possible (:

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock fanfic #daredevil #daredevil fanfiction #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock x fem!reader

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wrrrenff · 10 months ago

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Spiraling

Obey Me Angst Mammon, Levi, Lucifer, Diavolo (brief mention) Synopsis: Your are suddenly transported to this strange place called the Devildom. You don't know what's going on. These people, no... demons, seem ok but are you okay? You HAVE to stay here and be part of the exchange program? This sudden change is really spiking your anxiety and send you into a full panic attack in front of these men. Trigger Warning: Anxiety, Angst, Panic Attack, Mentions of Dying/Death

Still new with writing angst but i wanted to give it another go. This is my interpretation of what the beginning of the game would actually be like for an MC who isn't so immediately accepting of what's happening lol

"Mc, from now on you will be living in the House of Lamentation. you'll be staying with Lucifer and his six younger brothers. Humans, angels, demons, I imagine a universe where each accepts the other. Where we are brought together as friends. This is my dream and I'm asking you to be the foundation for it. One year, that's what I ask of you. Good luck MC"

Before you knew it you were being pulled along by the white haired man, no, demon. I think they said his name was Mammon. His touch burned. Your head was spinning. You couldn't breath. You're supposed to be okay with being forced into this situation? Living amongst a species that wants to eat you? You were able to keep your cool a bit better back in the council room, but now that it's just you and this single demon, the reality of your situation really hits

Mammon was too busy trying to get you back to HoL and get the house tour over with to even notice your breathing quicken. Once inside the HoL, Mammon stopped you at the base of the staircase and without looking back at you, started explaining where everything was. "Downstairs on the right is the kitchen and your room. On the other side is my room and Be..."

You couldn't focus on anything coming out of his mouth. Your breaths where staring to get shallow, heartbeat racing so much your chest was starting to ache. The room felt like it was spinning. Mammon's hand is still latched on to your wrist and he still hasn't noticed your change in demeanor. Too deep in your spiraling, you don't notice a blue haired man demon appear at the top of the staircase. Before he can introduce himself, he immediately noticed the state you were in. "Uh Mammon, what did you do to the human?" Mammon looks confused. "C'mon Levi. Why'd you assume I did-" He finally turns to look at you.

"Oh shit. MC? Can you hear me?" Though he doesn't let it show, Mammon is in full blown panic mode. He instantly recognizes what's happening. He's very familiar with panic attacks ever since he and his brothers where cast into the devildom. His face gets serious and he starts taking action. "Levi, get me some water and meet me in their room." Levi gets flustered at the commands but Mammon is too focused on moving you to the bedroom to even care.

You're still out of it. You don't even realize the grip on your wrist has loosened and there is now a supportive hand on your back rubbing circles. You feel sick, like you're gonna die. Hell, if you don't have a heart attack right now you might actually die at the hands of these demons anyways. Why did you have to be the one picked to do this? Why was your luck so bad that you had to be thrusted into this like a lamb surrounded by hungry wolves? You will probably be dead by the end of the night. The brothers and Diavolo seemed nice enough before but what if that was all an act? Play nice and sweet for the scared little human so they trust us and then pounce. And if when they kill you how would they do it? You hoped for quick and painless but some of them seemed like the torturing type. Suddenly you feel someone touching your face. it brings you back to reality just a little. Was he wiping tears away? You were crying?

Mammon had just sat you both on your bed and wiped some of the tears out of your eyes. He see's you recognize him for a moment. "MC, try to breathe for me okay?" He gently grabs one of your hands and puts it on his chest. "Try to match my breath." He breathes nice and slowly. He notices you struggling to keep rhythm but keeps encouraging you regardless. With his other hand he texts his brothers and lets them know what's happening, hoping the extra support and reassurance from them will help calm the human down. Soon after, Levi returns from the kitchen with a tall glass of water and a box of tissues and sets them on the nightstand. He then crouches on the side of the bed and starts lightly rubbing your arm with a circling motion. "H-hey, you're MC r-right?"

You register a second voice and turn to acknowledge it. Oh, it's the blue haired boy from earlier. You nod so subtly Levi almost missed it. "I'm Levi. I brought you a drink. Do you want to take a s-sip?" You look at the glass for a moment. What if they put something in it to make it easier for them to kill you... You look back to the boys, concern and distrust washes over your face. It hurts, but the brothers understand. If they were you, they'd probably feel that same. Mammon is the first to speak again. "Will it make you feel better if one of us takes a sip first?" They both see a slight bit of guilt show on your face before you nod yes.

With no hesitation Mammon takes a big gulp. Seeing the demon so willingly drink had convinced you to take a sip. The brothers sighed quietly in relief that you were starting to come around. "Good girl. That's it." Mammon says encouragingly. The hand holding yours to his chest relaxes, his thumb rubbing calming circles on your wrist. Levi pipes up again. "When I-I get anxious, I like to try and point out interesting things I see around me. Do you maybe want-t to give it a try?" Mammon didn't want to admit it, but his brother just had a good idea. You looked around. You could consider it all interesting if you were being honest. It's all new and unfamiliar you you. Looking around, you noticed all of the foliage in the room. "Plants." You croaked, voice raw from your crying. "I always found this room to be quite calming. I would often come in here to calm down after stressful days."

A new voice appears in the door frame. You remember him from earlier. Lucifer. Upon meeting the sleek demons eyes, your heartbeat picked up a little again. Mammon noticed immediately. "Oi Lucifer, can I talk to you in the hallway real quick?" Wordlessly, Lucifer goes into the hallway. Mammon was about to follow him until he felt a grip on his arm. You stared up at him with pleading eyes, begging him not to go. "It'll be just a second, okay hun?" He squeezed you arm and asked Levi to take over before heading out into the hallway. In hushed tones, Mammon fills in Lucifer on what's been happening since he first texted. "I filled in Diavolo and told the rest of our brothers to stay back. It seems I was correct in assuming that seeing more of us before they were fully ready would escalate their fears." Lucifer speculated. Mammon sighed. "I mean, can you blame them though? Demons and Angels as a part of the exchange is one thing, but I don't know if humans are going to be able to handle all this change." Lucifer wanted to agree but something was holding him back. He remembered back to examining your documents while narrowing down who to select for the program. He remembered there was something so special about you, something that just drew him to you. He couldn't put a finger on it but he knew it HAD to be you. "We'll make it work. Lets get back in before Levi completely scares them off."

The brothers walk back into the room and see Levi explaining the lore of his favorite show 'The Magical Ruri Hana: Demon Girl. Mammon almost let a groan slip but held it back when he noticed a smile on your face. The smile dropped quickly once you noticed Lucifer come back in. Mammon took his place back on the bed while Lucifer hesitantly joined Levi on the ground. "MC, I am terribly sorry about this situation. I completely understand your reservations but I am afraid there is nothing to be done now." Mammon kicked Lucifer, annoyed with how blunt his brother was. Lucifer glared at his brother then continued. "We do wish to make your time here as pleasant as possible and we will do whatever we can to make you comfortable."

You were starting to come to terms with the fact that there was no way out of this. You let out a sigh and started speaking with a slightly shaky voice. "Other than bringing me here against my will, you guys have been very nice an welcoming to me. I just have a million questions. Why me? What if a demon wants to eat me? What if you guys get too annoyed with 'babysitting the human' and just leave me to the dogs? Can I even eat anything here to survive?" Lucifer chuckled. Slowly and hesitantly, he reached a hand out. After seeing no resistance from you, he placed his hand on your knee and gave a reassuring squeeze. While I can't share the selection process, I can tell you that you are here because you are special. I promise that we won't let any demon outside of these wall, with the exception of Diavolo, lay a finger on you. And if they do we will take them out swiftly." You shivered at the statement. Lucifer continued "We actually have another human that is apart of the exchange program, Solomon, who we can introduce you to if that might help you feel better about being here. There are also two Angels in the program as well if that makes you feel any safer. But rest assured, my brothers and I are friends, not foe. We may seem hostile at times but we want nothing but the best for you. We want you to succeed here, to feel welcome, to be part of our little family."

Wow, you didn't expect to be moved by a demon like this. You still couldn't shake certain thoughts and feelings from your head but you decided to give in to this crazy situation. "Thank you. I'm sorry for freaking out like this. I think... with time, I'll get better about being... here. But if today, how you handled -" You wave you arms around you, motioning to yourself. "-THIS, is any indicator, I think I'll be okay."

Mammon squeezed your hand, pulling your attention to him. "Hey, there's no need to apologize, 'kay? If you ever need to talk to any of us about any of this again, we're here for ya'. No ifs, ands, or buts." You were starting to feel overwhelmed by how supportive the demons were being to you. Without a word, you leapt forward and gave Mammon a crushing hug. He let out a surprised sound before slowly hugging back. Poking your head out from the crook of his neck, you face the other two brothers. "Get on in here." Surprised at the request Lucifer got on the bed and joined in. Levi was still hesitant on the floor. He wasn't used to being asked for affection. With your foot, you lightly nudged his shoulder. "Come Levi, you too." Levi tried to push back his anxiety and slowly wrapped his arms around the three of you. You started to wonder what other crazy or interesting adventures would come out of this. You were still extremely terrified to think about it, but you couldn't ignore the rush of excitement you started to feel too.

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baby-yongbok · 1 year ago

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Poetry

Chapter Five - Morning After

Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, sweet like candy

Summary: Will you die of embarrassment or will you make it through?

Word Count: 4,446

A/N: I wanted to do so much in this chapter but I'm trying to pace the story right. I hope it isn't too boring lol this the first fluff series I've ever written and my first slow-ish burn series ever in my years of writing. I hope that you enjoy it! + If you haven't already, I highly recommend reading the previous parts before this one so that you get the ✨full experience✨. See you next Thursday at 6 💕

Part Four

✧Poetry Series Masterlist✧

✧Main Masterlist✧

Is this even real? You’ve been asking yourself that for the past twenty minutes while you’re cuddled into Hyunjin’s side laughing about any and everything. Did you guys really just kiss? You find yourself sneaking your hand up to your lips every few seconds as the feeling lingers, you’re not ready to let it go just yet.

“So did you ever find out what it was?” Hyunjin asks, curious to know more details about your haunted childhood home that you’re telling him about.

“Nope, but I truly believe that It was a ghost.” Hyunjin shakes his head, staring up at your ceiling. “How did we end up telling ghost stories?”

“I asked what made you afraid of lightning and it all spiraled from there.”

“Ah, right.” You glance over at your digital clock but there are no numbers on display. You were so tangled in your own world with Hyunjin that you completely forgot that the power went out.

“What time is it?” Hyunjin sits up and you follow. He looks around for his phone as you make your way to your vanity for yours.

“11:23pm” Your voices clash with each other as you both answer at the same time, you both follow with a chuckle and Hyunjin stands from your bed.

“I should probably get going.” He stretches, taking a quick peek out of your window to gauge the storm's intensity. It’s nothing like it was earlier, it’s actually way worse.

“I am not letting you walk home in that.” You protest, taking a peek out of the window yourself. The sidewalks are damn near flooded.

“I walked here and I was fine.”

“You were soaking wet.”

“That’s nothing.” Hyunjin shrugs, you cross your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at him. He flashes a cute playful smile at you and you roll your eyes, taking a step towards him.

“I’m not letting you walk home in that, it's too dangerous and you’ll definitely get sick.” Hyunjin shrugs again, his smile not fading. He steps closer and you can't help but feel your heart flutter, you scoff, turning towards your closet and making your way over to it.

“You’re staying the night.” Hyunjin chuckles lightly, you can hear his bare feet against your floor as he circles the bed over to your closet.

“I saw that coming.” You reach for some extra blankets at the top of your closet, stretching yourself to get to them. “I got it.”

Hyunjin gently places his hand on the small of your back before reaching up to grab the blankets. You feel that familiar electricity run up your spine but this time it’s less of a surprising sensation and more of a relaxing one. “Anything else?” Hyunjin peers down at you, waiting for your answer.

“You tell me, you’re the one sleeping on the floor.” You shrug as you meet his gaze. He tongues his cheek, sighing sarcastically

“I don’t even get the couch?”

“Our couch is way worse than the floor, trust me. That thing graduated university with me.”

“Ew, okay, I’ll take the floor.” He takes note of what he’s already taken down from the closet before asking for another blanket, you point to one on the other side of your closet and just as he reaches for it you both hear a loud crash coming from somewhere in your apartment. You both turn towards the door, brows pinched together as you listen closely for any other sounds.

“Let me check on that.” You start walking towards your door and Hyunjin follows close behind. You stop suddenly, turning to look at him with furrowed brows. “You don’t have to come.”

“You want me to let you investigate a loud sound in your apartment with no power on?” Hyunjin asks slowly and sarcastically. “Make it make sense.”

“Fine.” You sigh, you’re sure that I was nothing, probably just the wind. You open your bedroom door and creep out slowly, using your phone flashlight to illuminate your path. Hyunjin follows, his eyes busy scanning everything around him. Once you start to approach the kitchen you can hear the sound of glass clinking. You follow the sound and find another flashlight in the kitchen held by your distracted roommate. He’s got his headphones on as he cleans up the mess that he made, unfortunately that mess was your antique thrift shop vase shattered with the orange roses that Hyunjin gave you sprawled out on the tile.

“Ugh, really Bin?” You groan just loud enough to grab Changbin’s attention.

“Ah, sorry about this, I was looking for more matches and I knocked it over. I’ll buy you a new vase.” You nod, taking a couple of steps closer to check out the damage. Just as you’re about to comment, Changbin asks you a question that makes your heart skip.

“How was your date? Was I right?” You look up at him with wide eyes and try to subtly shake your head. There’s no way that he’s asking you this and Hyunjin is right behind you, does he not see the tall dark haired man standing right there? Is he blind?

“I wasn’t right? He didn’t kiss you?” You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut and dramatically palming your forehead. “What?”

“Hey.” Hyunjin speaks before you can, taking a step forward and awkwardly waving at Changbin. “I’m Hyunjin, nice to meet you.”

You can hear Hyunjin trying to hold his laughter and you cringe a bit from embarrassment. How could Changbin do this to you? You definitely won’t let him forget this.

“Oh shit, Uh nice to meet you, man. I’m Changbin.” Your roommate introduces himself then looks over at you. “You could’ve warned me.”

“You could’ve kept your mouth shut until the morning.” You roll your eyes, sighing dramatically. “He’s staying over, I’ll see you in the morning. Try not to humiliate me again, please.”

You and Hyunjin turn around to walk away and Hyunjin mutters a quick good night before retreating back into your room. Before you can get too far you hear Changbin whisper yelling your name and you turn back towards him. “Was I right?”

You groan, turning around and flashing your middle finger in your roommate's direction before walking away. When you get back to your room Hyunjin is fiddling with the blankets you gave him, starting to set up his spot on the floor. You go over to the head of your bed to pick out some pillows for him, you both move in silence for a minute or two until Hyunjin clears his throat.

“So -”

“Don’t.” You cut him off before he can finish and he immediately bursts into a fit of laughter. You groan, trying your best not to laugh with him. “Do not make me relive the embarrassment.”

“Come on.” Hyunjin grabs your wrist as he tries to stop laughing. He pulls you into him, hugging you but you don’t hug him back. “You wanted me to kiss you tonight?”

“No.”

“No?” Hyunjin pulls back to look down at you, amusement written all over his face. You roll your eyes, pouting a bit as you realize that you have no way out of this.

“I mean, I wanted you to, yeah. But, Changbin predicted that you would, so that's why he asked if he was right.” Hyunjin nods, still smiling down at you.

“Are you going to talk about me when I leave?”

“Please don’t make me answer that.” You stomp your feet dramatically.

“That’s a yes.” He lets you go and you plop down onto your bed face down. “What are you doing?”

“Dying of embarrassment.” Hyunjin sits next to you on the bed, ruffling your hair playfully.

“Please don’t die before I get to take you on a second date.” You sigh dramatically into the mattress and Hyunjin smiles as he watches you. How could you be so cute?

“Too late, I’m withering away, this is the last you’ll see of me. I’ll be nothing but dust in the morning.” Your voice is muffled by the mattress and Hyunjin chuckles at the sound.

“Why are the ones that read always so dramatic?” You roll over, gasping at him and pretending to be offended. Your hand lays over your heart, exaggerating your reaction.

“I am not dramatic.”

“Hey, I am too. I’ve been called a drama queen for years but clearly you’re coming for my crown.” You roll your eyes, pulling yourself onto your feet and dusting yourself off.

“This is why you’re sleeping on the floor."

Your alarm wakes you up at 6:30 am just like it does every other morning. The sun has yet to rise but you can already hear the birds singing. You sit up, stretching a bit with a yawn, you look over to your left and stare for a second before leaning over the edge of the bed a bit to get a closer look. Hyunjin is still fast asleep, he’s turned on his side with one arm draped lazily over his chest while the other holds his phone. You faintly remember falling asleep before him last night. The two of you ended up talking until about two in the morning, you can never seem to stay up later than that since you start your day so early. Hyunjin stirs a bit in his sleep, huffing out a breath and moaning lightly as he brings his knees closer to his chest. You watch him, admiring how peaceful he looks curled up on your floor.

Your admiration is cut short when he mumbles something in his sleep but it’s not just anything, it's your name. You stare down at him in shocked silence before pulling back and laying back against your pillows. Your wide eyes scanned the ceiling searching for confirmation, did you really just hear that? Did he really just say that? You close your eyes for a second, trying your best to refocus. You don’t have time to wonder what his dream is about. You need to get ready to start your day… but what was it about? You shake your head, sitting up and forcing yourself to start moving. If you’re going to obsess over it you might as well be productive. You step out of bed quietly, making sure not to bump into anything. You circle your bed and make your way over to your door. Just as you’re about to turn the knob your second alarm starts going off, you jump at the sound before turning around and rushing over to turn it off. You pick up your phone quickly, fumbling with it before you finally swipe the alarm off. You exhale heavily and glance over at Hyunjin, you smile a bit as you take in his unbothered frame still sleeping peacefully. He’s a heavy sleeper, huh? That must be a good dream.

You take your phone with you as you make your way out of your room, closing the door carefully. You make your way to the bathroom across the hall to get started on your morning routine. You wash your face and brush your teeth as your mind shifts through all of the possible reasons that Hyunjin would say your name in his sleep. Maybe he’s dreaming about your date or some cool adventure. Maybe you just made a quick appearance in the dream and you were there and gone in a flash. You look in the mirror, checking your face for any blemishes when a certain thought sticks out at you, maybe it was a wet dream. Your eyes widen and you almost want to smack yourself for thinking that. You two literally just had your first date, there’s no way that he’s having a wet dream about you, but time doesn’t really matter in the dream world does it? You splash some cold water on your face to pull yourself out of your thoughts before going back to your room, the last thing that you need is to spiral into a fit of ‘What if’s’. As you’re going back to your room you can hear music coming from Changbin’s. He always wakes up at least half an hour before you do to get a head start on working out before the two of you eat breakfast together. You both take turns preparing breakfast and today was his day to cook.

When you get back to your door you turn the knob gently, trying your best not to make any noise. When you open the door you’re surprised to see Hyunjin sitting up from his spot, his knees tucked into his chest and his head resting on his crossed arms. You close your door just as gently as you opened it, not wanting to scare him. He hasn’t looked up at you so you assume that you did a pretty good job at sneaking in until you hear a sniffle. You freeze as you watch him. He’s still, no shaking or micro movement but he sniffles again and you notice him trying to subtly wipe his eyes, he’s crying. You slowly walk over to him, kneeling down when you get close enough and crawling over to close the gap between you two. He doesn’t move, it’s almost like he didn’t even notice you were there. You don’t say a word, instead you lay your hand on his back, rubbing large circles against his t-shirt. You can feel him relax a bit as you soothe him, his shoulders drop a bit and his back muscles untense. You two sit in silence for a couple of seconds until Hyunjin moves, in a swift yet slow motion he uncurls himself and sinks into you. His head finds your chest and his arms snake around your torso, holding you close. You gasp as the sudden change but quickly settle once he’s comfortable.

“Sorry about this.” He mumbles, his face halfway pressed into your collar bone. “I had a nightmare.”

Your heart skips and your thoughts begin the race as his words skin in. He had a nightmare with you in it?

“Do you want to talk about it?” You want to know more, both in an attempt to comfort him and in a selfish attempt to calm your rising anxiety.

“No, I'd rather just try to forget about it.” You mumble a small ‘okay’ and attempt to put your anxiety aside to comfort him properly. After about a minute of hugging you he pulls away, he looks over at you with puffy eyes and a small grin on his face.

“I’m alright.” He nearly whispers as he wipes his face. “I have nightmares often but sometimes they’re terrifying, I guess last night was one of those nights.”

You nod, trying to drown out your thoughts. Not only did he have a nightmare with you in it but he had a terrifying nightmare that literally brought him to tears, that’s great.

“I’m always here if you want to talk about it.” You try to sound as affirming as you can and it clearly worked since Hyunjin flashed you a more sincere grin this time. You decide to try and stop your spiraling once again by attempting to get ready for your day and trying to help distract Hyunjin. You stand from your seat on the floor, pulling him up with you. He’s a bit reluctant but he follows you, towering over you as soon as he stands completely. You reach both of your hands up towards the ceiling, your pajama shirt lifting a bit as you do. Hyunjin watches you with furrowed brows and you smile.

“Come on, stretch with me.” He smiles back for a second before joining you, a heavy sigh followed by a long whine leaving his lips. You chuckle as you transition into your next stretch.

“You stretch like a five year old.”

“Hey, I do not.” His morning voice catches you off guard now that you can hear it clearly. You expected it to be a bit raspy but you didn’t expect it to be that deep. You blush a bit at the sound of it as you twist your torso and Hyunjin follows.

“You do.” Hyunjin pouts in your direction, making a sound that a child would make, proving you right.

“I do not.”

You managed to get Hyunjin in higher spirits after some stretching and a bit of play fighting. Apparently calling him by his full name makes him tackle you and tickle you until you agree to never say it again. You put on your morning playlist, humming to the music as your favorite songs played and Hyunjin helped you pick out your outfit for the day. He shifted through your closet for what seemed like forever, picking things out and putting them back until he found a skirt and sweater comb that he thought gave off the ‘Autumn Spirit’. You dressed up the outfit, adding some warm tights and a jacket while he grabbed all of his stuff. Once he was ready he picked out some jewelry for you to wear but there was one piece that you weren’t familiar with.

“Is this yours?” You watch him as he fastens a bracelet around your wrist. The silver chain was a bit heavier than you expected.

“Mhm” He responded happily, watching your reaction closely.

“Does it cost a thousand dollars? It’s so heavy.” Hyunjin laughs as you run your fingers over the cool metal. You rotate the bracelet until the silver name plate shows the brand written in bold letters on the front of it. “This is Versace?”

He smiles at your bewildered tone. “Hyunjin I can’t take this, what if I lose it? What if I break it? This bracelet could probably pay my student loans.”

“Well, it’s only a five hundred dollar bracelet so it’s not that bad.” You stare up at him wide eyed and he tries his best to not laugh at your expression. “ And you can give it back to me when you see me again.”

“You’re not going to act like you didn’t just say that this chain on my arm is five hundred dollars.”

“Angel, it’s not that bad.” You open your mouth to rebuttal but you get stuck on the name that he just called you, he’s never called you anything but your actual name before. A deep blush creeps up your neck and over your cheeks and you look back down at your wrist, studying the expensive jewelry.

“Fine, I’ll wear it.” You smile down at the chain before turning to grab your bag from the end of your bed. “Did you want to stay for breakfast?”

“I should actually get going so I can return this suit to Han, he’s been texting me about it for the past thirty minutes and if I don’t get it back to him soon our next date will be my funeral.” You chuckle, watching as Hyunjin grabs his stuff and puts his messenger bag over his shoulder.

“We don’t want that now do we?” You look in the mirror one more time before turning to face Hyunjin. He’s grinning at you, his eyes taking you in slowly. “What?”

“You just look beautiful today.”

“You’re only saying that because you picked out this outfit.”

“I’m saying it because you look stunning in everything.” He takes a step towards you, looking down at you with sparkling eyes but you can’t decipher the emotion behind his gaze. “And because I picked out your outfit.”

He smiles wider once you gasp at him dramatically. He leans down and lands a quick kiss on your forehead, causing the blush on your cheeks to deepen all over again.

“Get out.” You playfully roll your eyes and Hyunjin chuckles.

“Yes ma’am.” You both make your way over to your bedroom door and Hyunjin opens it, moving to the side so you can exit first. Just as the two of you are approaching the kitchen you hear Hyunjin mumble something before following up.

“Ah, I forgot my charger. I’ll be right back.” He turns around, heading back to your room to grab his forgotten item and you decide to wait for him in the living room. Just as the kitchen comes into sight you hear a very excited voice call your name. You light up a bit as your eyes land on her, Serena, Changbin’s girlfriend, is sitting at the kitchen island across from him. You and Serena get along well, maybe a bit too well. She and Changbin have been dating since your Junior year of University, if there’s anyone that you would think to be couple goals it’s definitely them.

“Serena! What did I do to deserve such a beautiful woman in my house this early in the morning?” You make your way over to hug her, trying your best not to mess up her very sophisticated pants suit.

“I bought breakfast so that I could get the tea while it’s hot.” You looked around the kitchen searching for actual tea but when you didn’t find any the look on Serena’s face gave you all the answers you needed.

“You told her?” You ask Changbin with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Of course I told her. We’ve been trying to get you laid for like three years, this is a big development.” Your cheeks flush once you hear a bit of shuffling coming from down the hall, Hyunjin’s coming back, fuck. You shake your head quickly, putting your finger over your mouth and Changbin quickly gets the message. Unfortunately, Serena wasn’t as quick.

“Come on, tell me everything. Is he cute? Is he a good kisser? I need the tea immediately.” You sigh, slapping your hand against your forehead and you hear Hyunjin stop behind you. Serena’s jaw falls open as she takes in the tall man behind you who is probably as red as a strawberry from trying to hold back his laughter.

“Good morning.” He says with a smile before taking a step towards Serena and holding a hand out towards her. “I’m Hyunjin, nice to meet you.”

“Well hello there.” Serena takes his hand as her eyes rake over Hyunjin’s frame slowly, taking in every detail. “I’m Serena, Changbin’s girlfriend. It’s nice to meet you”

“The pleasure is mine, Serena.” Hyunjin lets go of her hand and then turns to you with a smile. You avoid his amused gaze, trying to find something else to focus on as he takes a step over to you, nearly closing the gap between you two.

“So -”

“Don’t” Hyunjin chuckles, trying his best to not fall into a fit of laughter. How many times can you be embarrassed in the span of twelve hours?

“Don’t be shy, angel.” You pull your lips into a thin line as your heart flutters. That pet name is not helping, it’s only furthering the embarrassment.

“Maybe I’ll let Han kill you.”

“Hey, don’t you want a second date?”

“I’m not so sure.” You glance up at his smiling face for a second before looking away, you can’t help but to smile a bit in return. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

Hyunjin nods at you before turning back to your very captivated audience. You roll your eyes at Changbin and Serena’s smirks as you pass them, making your way over to the front door.

“Have a good day, it was wonderful meeting you.” Hyunjin bows to them slightly and they both say a quick good-bye. Serena’s gaze follows Hyunjin as he walks away and Changbin leans over the island to push her shoulder.

Once Hyunjin reaches you he slips on his shoes and you open the door for him.

“I’ll text you when I get home.” You nod with a small smile and Hyunjin pulls you into a hug, it’s firm yet gentle and you can’t help but to melt into him a bit. “I hope that you had a good time last night.”

“I had a great time, really. That was probably the best date that I’ve ever been on.” Hyunjin pulls away, a look of satisfaction on his face.

“Now I have to top that.”

“Good luck.” You tease and Hyunjin rolls his eyes.

“I’ll see you later.” Hyunjin’s eyes search yours for a second, and he gives a small, gentle smile. He leans in and gives you a chaste kiss on the cheek before whispering “And don’t worry, I’m going to talk about you too.”

Your face heats up and your heart sings a bit with excitement. He stands tall and takes a couple of steps away from you. “Don’t forget to mention how pretty I am.” You tease and he smiles wider.

“I’ll put it on the list of things to say.” He waves at you and you wave back. He gives you one last look before he turns around, making his way down the hallway and over to the elevator. You step back inside, closing the door gently and taking a deep breath. You slowly make your way back over to the kitchen, smiling like a child who’s just won a prize at the arcade.

“Binnie, when’s the last time you saw her smile like that?” Serena asks her boyfriend as she eyes you.

“I don’t think that I’ve ever seen her smile like that.”

“Okay, come on, spill everything, we need all of the details. Changbin, make her a plate, we don’t have any time to waste.” Changbin instantly grabs a plate and puts a bit of everything that you like on it. You can hear their voices but you aren’t really listening, you're too busy smiling at the butterflies in your stomach. You snap out of it when Serena grabs your wrist and pulls you over to a bar stool, prompting you to sit next to her. Her and Changbin stare at you expectantly and you sigh, picking up your fork and starting to eat.

“What do you want to know?”

“Did he kiss you?” Changbin asks quickly and you shake your head. They both gasp, Serena claps excitedly and your roommate puts his fist in the air as if he’s won something. “I called it.”

“The real question is, was it a good kiss?” Serena asks with raised brows and you stop eating immediately. They both lean in, waiting for you to answer while you play back the memory. The reminiscent feeling of Hyunjin’s lips on yours makes you grin a bit as you bounce your leg excitedly. You close your eyes for a second to fully immerse yourself in the memory before opening them and looking over at them. You exhale deeply before smiling.

“It was so so good.”

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lovelyhan · 2 years ago

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what are your svt fic recs??? like your holy grail??

took me a while to put this together BUT here it is!

disclaimer that i've been a carat for like . a month so it's a stretch to say i've read a lot of svt content. tho from what i've consumed so far, my favorites are listed under the cut :>

i'll start with the ones i found on ao3 first hehe

push it down (sooner or later it all comes out) by dontflailmenow × tags: s.coups x reader; camboy!cheol, enemies to lovers

the first EVER svt fic i've read, and it was just so WOW!!!! basically, reader recently broke up w her ex, which is seungcheol's best friend. cheol and mc aren't on the best of terms (always arguing etc.) so when she realizes that the camboy she's been lusting over to get over her ex turns out to be cheol, some...problems start to arise i'm pretty sure i saw this one around tumblr but i'm too lazy to find the op's blog i'm so sorry HEUUUHEU but i really loved it to pieces, and it ultimately flung me into svt fanfic tumblr altogether :D

The bore next door by HoneyAteez × tags: wonwoo x reader; blind dates, suffocation via cock LOL

another fic that i am fairly sure is cross-posted on tumblr too, but can't be assed to find -- your mother sets you up with good neighbor jeon wonwoo, and he turns out to be the worst sexual deviant on the face of the earth, fucking the soul out of your body right after the first date.

Walking in Traffic by versigny × tags: mingyu x reader; soulmate au, teens being teens

literally crying as i type this because it's one of the most beautiful coming of age stories i've ever read, and it was written back when i was still in mf HIGH SCHOOL 😭 reader and gyu find out they're soulmates way too early, and pretty much despise each other growing up, but they eventually come to terms with their soul bond along the line.

close proximity by chilligyu × tags: mingyu x reader; roommates, LOTS OF ANGST

there's no explicit smut in this one, but the plot twists and the narration itself threw me in for SUCH a goddamn loop that it would be a hate crime not to include this here. mingyu becomes reader's roommate upon bff!wonwoo's recommendation, and they and up falling for each other, and [gets dragged off stage because spoilers]

now for the tumblr recs!

sapiosexual by @smileysuh × tags: s.coups x reader; sugar daddy au, psych daddy!cheol,,,,

it's a pretty straightforward sugar daddy au, but what makes it different is how it's written, y'know? cheol clearly lays all of the details for he and reader to agree on, making sure all the boundaries are clear and there aren't any blurred lines. seungkwan as your best friend is also a really enjoyable addition (he's the one who coined the term psych daddy LOL), AND i just love the author's humor in general.... quirofilia [bursts out laughing]

A Break by @smileysuh (again bc i'm obsessed w their work) × tags: mingyu x reader x wonwoo; svt as babysitters, budding poly

so op has an entire assortment of meanie poly fics, but this one is probably my most favorite bc it touches on a more endearing and responsible side to mingyu :') he and reader just can't sit down and fuck because he's busy worrying about their child every ten minutes LOL. enter jeon wonwoo, who is not only baby saebyeok's favorite uncle, but has been pining for the reader since time immemorial. of course, gyu has known all along, and asks them if they're both down to have a threesome (this is literally a terrible way to summarize the story, but i suggest you just read it <3) OH OH bonus: hoshi tries to sacrifice the baby to the tiger gods in a summoning circle made of tiger plushies. if that doesn't sell this fic for you, i don't know WHAT will

Love, Actually by @haet-sal × tags: jun x reader; cheating but not really? whipped single dad!jun

aka the fic that catalyzed my jun brain damage. reader works as jun's secretary but she isn't very...good at her job, but he keeps her around anyway bc 1.) his kid likes her, and 2.) HE likes her. problem is: she has a boyfriend-not-boyfriend, but Because that boyfriend-not-boyfriend is an asshole, she kind of uses jun as a constant rebound, poor guy (it has a happy ending tho i promise!!)

an untitled dk friends 2 lovers by @husbandhoshi × tags: dk x reader; idiots in love

this is actually preceded by 2 more drabbles from the op, but i'm linking this one specifically bc it made me physically long for big dick boyfriend lee seokmin. the thing i like most about smut written for dk is that he's ALWAYS so fun and endearing and lovable in bed, and what's more is that this one's a friend to lovers fic, so there's YEARS worth of pining and puppy love to spice up the sex hehehehehehe it really really deserves more recognition !!

right where you left me by @tonicandjins × tags: wonwoo x reader; exes getting back together, ANGST

i have a shitty memory so i can't go into the specifics on what this fic is about. it's one of the first ones i read on tumblr, but it's been a hot minute but i DO remember writhing in bed right after reading it, so it definitely earns a spot on the rec list! reader and wonwoo lived together in their hometown, but had to break up when wonwoo moves to seoul and he just couldn't make any compromises. bonus points for best friend hoshi on this one <;3

that's pretty much it for now! i'm so sorry if any of the authors mentioned didn't want to be tagged 🤒🤒 i just thought i'd share my thoughts abt ur work while sharing them w the rest of my followers UEUEUEUE

#🍵 tea time #anon #📁 kai's fic recs #if you have any recs 4 me just leave an ask HEHE #always down to gobble up gewd content #recs: seventeen 💎

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goddesspharo · 3 months ago

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Ok so this isn’t really a question but I was thinking about possible plots for the third movie that have maximum phoenix and hangman (obviously) and I cannot shake the idea of a reunion of the daggers for some sort of secret mission

Now I know absolutely nothing about the navy but hear me out, the gang is called back in (hangman, rooster, payback, fanboy etc) after a plane went down in enemy territory and at the mission brief, it’s revealed, dun dun da da…. It was phoenix and Bob and there’s reason to believe they’re still out there

I have no idea if you’re open to prompt ideas so feel free to tell me to f all the way off but since they’ll probably never do something like that for the actual third movie, I figure the next best thing is the best fic rider for the ship

I’m sensing major opportunity for some Jake and Bradley begrudging partnership and fun dynamics all around

Thoughts?

Ooh, this kind of sounds like Stealth but not shitty. (Does anyone remember how they recut the trailers for that movie to heavily feature Jamie Foxx as soon as he won the Oscar despite him being in it for like 15 minutes? Lol)

I take all of the "we've got a timeline for Top Gun 3, etc etc" talk with a grain of salt because it took them like 30+ years to make the sequel -- everyone else might be all about franchises but I know Tom Cruise isn't going to churn out a legacy movie just to churn it out without a decent script or someone promising him that he can fly a plane inverted in space. As much as I love TGM, I don't see where they'd realistically go with a third movie (nor do I necessarily need them to? End on a high note I say). In the same way that Ethan Hunt is still very much front and center of the MI franchise much to Jeremy Renner's chagrin when he thought they'd hand it over to him, I don't see them ever shifting the focus off Mav who will be pushing 70 at that point (it's okay for Tom Cruise, but I don't think the navy is letting That Old Man do All That Shit).

Thank you for your faith in my ability to write a backdoor sequel, but to be honest it was tough work to write action scenes when I was writing against the grain of dystopic claims so I might not be the one to write about a rescue mission that doesn't involve everyone just threatening to kill each other because they read the map wrong and are now going around in circles in the jungle. I also harbor a secret belief that if Phoenix and Bob ever went down and they needed to launch a second mission to save them, by the time our himbos got there, Phoenix would already have saved them both and they'd be sipping Mai Tais poolside at the closest Club Med. Extreme "I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this" energy. If anything, she'd have to cut her vacation short to save the daggers who were supposed to be saving her.

But there is a sort of big damn hero moment coming up in can't fake what you can't break up with so hopefully that scratches the itch! (As an aside: to that anon who asked me last week about this fic, you kickstarted me working on that again with that ask. Of course now it's like 17k and I still haven't written that part that was holding me up, but the parts I did write make it flow better so thanks for getting the creative juices flowing! Turns out asking fic writers about their WIPs prompts them to write more stuff, go figure!)

#ask me things #hannix #top gun

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toomuchracket · 1 year ago

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something something sitting on mattys lap while you two and some of his friends are hanging out and he touches you reassuringly (slow circles on your thighs, pushes your hair behind your ear) because he knows you were a bit nervous to meet so many friends of his at the same time

honestly, i think this is birthday party coded. like, that's the only one of my matty au's where you know him outwith the band, and while you're a fan and know them fairly well before you and matty start dating, i think you'd be quite nervous to be introduced to them all as his girlfriend. ross is having a house party a few weeks after you and matty get together, and matty's like "i would love it if you came with me and properly met my friends - there's still people you don't know yet! that's wild, considering how long we've known each other, i think. but yeah, i want you there"; you agree, but you're a little bit worried about being the only person not in that friend group in attendance, because you're nervous you'll be out of the loop and maybe a bit awkward. you don't tell matty this right away, though. it isn't until you're getting ready at his place before the party, wishing you'd brought more outfit options with you because nothing feels or looks right, that it comes up - matty's like "hey, hey, what's up, sweetheart? it's just a house party, you don't really need to give so much of a shit about your outfit lol. and you'll look perfect in whatever you choose", and you admit to him how you're feeling like "i know i'm being silly, but these are your best friends. i so want them to like me, or at least approve of me". and matty just pulls you into a big hug and says "i love you, so they'll love you. easy as that", before he helps you settle on a dress. and everyone is lovely when you get there; ross hugs you like the two of you have been best friends for years, carly and adam are so genuine in their admiration of your work, and it's nice to catch up with charli and george again (she and you know each other from attending events, and george went with her so you know him a little bit too). matty's making extra sure your nerves are reduced, though - he tugs you onto his lap when you go to meet other people in the living room, so you can breathe in his aftershave and instantly feel calmed, and he's absent-mindedly tracing lovehearts into the skin of your knee and twirling your hair around his finger while you both chat to whoever else is in attendance, occasionally whispering "you alright, darlin'? they all love you" into your ear and deftly making sure you're included in conversations. it goes so well that you say "i'm ok, i'll stay here and chat" when he asks if you want to come outside with him while he smokes, so he just watches from the garden while you laugh with some of his oldest friends, completely comfortable. it turns out to be a lovely night <3

#mads answers asks #matty asks #fluff asks #into the birthday partyverse

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jamiesfootball · 1 year ago

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22 and 23 for the 2023 writer asks!

22. Share an excerpt from your favorite scene

23. Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?

Gonna be a little unorthodox and answer both in one go. But also since I know you have been a busy little bee, I will put it below the line for spoilers, in case you would like to read it later.

I'm talking about one of the twists! The moment somebody in the comments coined as 'the Sisyphus pull'

First, the excerpt:

The tension snapped. He shoved at Roy's shoulders, eyes bright with fury. Roy pushed him back. Hard. Between one second and the next they fell into grappling, shoving and pulling as they tried to knock each other down, the world slipping out from awareness— —and Roy was prepared for the pain he had coming to him— —he knew what he'd done to earn it, better to earn it now before it could circle back down the road ten times worse— —wasn't like he hadn't had his arse handed to him more times than he could count— —seventeen, minutes after his debut when running his mouth he learned the hard way how to write a cheque his bones couldn't cash— —eighteen, in physio, with the growing weight that he'd fucked up— —retired, in physio, pain and him on friendly terms— —his heartbeat pounded in his ears, lighting up his nerves and leaving a tang of iron in his mouth, and he hadn't asked for the itch under his skin, but it threatened to eat him alive if he didn't find a way to get it out of his system— He got in a lucky shove. Jamie tripped. One of his rings caught against Roy's shirt and a loud tear ripped through the air, deafening against the blood pulsing in his ears. Without thinking, Roy caught him by the elbow, steadying him before he could fall—only to realize what he was doing and shove him away. Jamie's arm pulled back, and with blood banging like a war drum in his ears, Roy did what instinct and years of training demanded and headbutted his opponent square in the fucking face. Something crunched. "Fuck!" Jamie swore. A poorly formed fist glanced off Roy's forehead, the sharp sting catching him off guard. Roy stumbled back into the lamppost, Jamie hit the ground, and that was it. That was the whole fight. Less than ten seconds, if he had to guess. Jamie's eyes gleamed up at him from the pavement. Blood dripped through his cupped hand and onto his new jacket, black in the dark like ink on a blot test. Weeks too late, the Red Bull commercial finally slapped him in the face. Sisyphus; that was the name. The guy on the hill, the one that didn't have any wings. The one who was doomed to keep doing the same thing over and over again.

The commentary

There are two things I want to talk about here: the fight itself and the Sisyphus of it all.

The fight:

This entire scene was difficult in many ways, many of them starting with the fact that I did not care for the fight scene in the finale. It didn't feel earned, it came out of nowhere, and it felt like a disservice to two characters who - yeah, have fought before - but not like this. They've never drawn blood. It's always just been pushing and shoving and getting in each other's face. So there's regression, and then there's hitting some level we've never seen them at.

But the whole point of this fic isn't to rewrite things to be different and better - it's to work around what canon gave us so that I could somehow make canon like. Work. At all. On a fundamental level that works in the narrative.

The actual craft of the fight I drafted out in very broad strokes. I had the beginning part of the scene very clearly, but then getting them to a point where something like trading blows could happen? Very difficult. 'Boys will be boys' / 'lol men are dumb' / etc got bandied about a lot after the finale, and even disregarding my innate hatred at those phrases, using pithy sayings to bandage narrative failings will never not appear to me like the laziest of writing decisions.

So it was important to me that the first half of the chapter really be leading to This Point, and equally important that when we got to this point that we would have a full grasp of how the fight wasn't just a one-off problem. It was a sign that something deeper had gone wrong. It was a gradual implosion - the building up of many highly emotional beats that Roy, at the end of the day, just didn't have the tools to process.

The parts that are in flashback, I wanted to use those to highlight the cyclical nature of pain-anger-violence in Roy's life. How it's taken over as the only thing he does understand how to process - the when 'you have a hammer, every problem looks like a nail' of it all. He wants to fix things with Jamie, and in a fucked up way this is supposed to fix things, but it's not even inflicting pain on Jamie that he's thinking of here - it's the pain he's expecting to be inflicted on himself.

The other priority here with the fight was that while it's not good, it's not okay by any means, it actually never crosses much further into violence than we've seen from them before. We've seen them shove each other. We've seen Jamie, cornered, throw a punch. We've seen Roy headbutt. It's not that the actions themselves are worse, it's that the circumstances surrounding them are so fucked. It's supposed to hurt.

And then it does hurt. Roy lands a hit that does actual damage to Jamie, and that's what finally snaps him out of it. Or rather, that's what finally wakes him up, because....

The Sisyphus of it all:

I mentioned before in another post how Roy confusing Icarus and Sisyphus originally started as a joke (it's an old commercial, after all). The joke then became more serious the longer I thought about it - it made sense to me that Roy, with all his pushing Jamie to be better and seeing Jamie fall to pieces during Mom City, would worry that he'd made an Icarus out of him.

But then the Sisyphus thing was right there, and I thought that would serve as an excellent metaphor for Roy and how he feels about his life right now.

The other thing I'm proud of - the thing I really wanted to accomplish and based on feedback I DID accomplish - was the 'pull' aspect of it. That it was something off to the side, just out of notice of both Roy and the audience, and that bringing it back into the narrative at just the right point would have a whiplash effect.

THAT is the bit I struggled with. I knew I had to work it in gradually. I knew I had to bring it up in a way that the audience would go on this Icarus journey with Roy, while at the same time having the same lingering feeling that something wasn't quite right. Getting the narrative to reflect the repetitive pattern of the Sisyphus struggle without putting it together themselves that that's the conclusion that was waiting at the end of the line.

I now feel like I rambled a bit without answering your question straight on, but the short of it all is that writing this fight was a STRUGGLE and YES I'M PROUD OF IT. I think it paid off. I hope anyone who reads it feels like it did too.

#year in review #fic meta #fic: oh god you're gonna get it (you have not been given love)#if you think i'm obnoxious about talking my stuff NOW just wait until there is more chapters #i already can't shut up about the next chapter and it's not even out yet #this is going to be a problem for me I already know it #thank you so much for the ask!

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be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie · 2 years ago

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Well now you’ve got me started on the ikran racing au and now I’m curious so!

Nocorro fic recs for the noob please? 😂

BESTIE finally join the dark sideee.

As I said over dms; unfortunately for you, there are better locorro (and spiri, although I really only rec one hardcore) fics then there are Nocorro. Nocorro is like a desert spot, there really aren’t any aside from a few really short but cool one shots. It's a very small fandom, and it's pretty young right now so tbh most of the fics are not very good, so it'll be a short list anyway. So, as we discussed, here are the high quality, well written Spider ship fics:

For nocorro, there really isn't much. That's why I said I've come so fucking close to writing that ikran au; because I am deeply obsessed with the nocorro parts of it. I adore that au and the ghost neteyam one honestly best of all, but the ghost Neteyam one there is slightly more content for. BUT ANYWAYS;

Upon looking up my list for this I was furious to discover one of the three well written little nocorro one shots has been deleted, so beef begun with CherryApollo (jk queen I need more of them. Actually, a03 user CherryApollo; I know ur reading these posts, or else you wouldn't have tagged that fic nocorro, huh? You said "tumblr has it's claws in me so here's some nocorro" I SEE YOU, I KNOW UR HERE. THERE'S LIKE THREE OF US USING THAT TAG, AND IT'S MOSTLY JUST ME ALONE IN THE VOID. You listen to me. I liked that fucking fic, I had it bookmarked. Give it back to me. But seriously big fan of ur work).

The two remaining fruit themed CherryApollo nocorro oneshots better be your first stop just in case this sociopath decides to take more from me, Take a Bite of the Orange (p sure I was the commenter that took offense mentioned in the notes) and Follow Me Down to the Peach Tree, which did make me want to end it all. Both under 1000 words and worth a quick read.

There is also the ghost of Guilt by thatshowthemafiaworks @undercoverpan who has written us a ghost Spider au which has never failed to make me cry each chapter. The prose is not as flawless as the other recs here, but it packs some emotional weight the others don't. I also can't even fathom where it's going as it all seems entirely hopeless which is why it makes me cry.

The only other nocorro fic I even think is worth a mention is Crop Circles by our bestie @spicymiilk. It's not done and we haven't reached any nocorro yet, but know it's coming and it's good. I get my sticky little fingers in each good Avatar fic writer and I puppeteer the content I want, just look at whats happening here.

For locorro (still a small as hell ship), we can afford to be slightly more picky and I shall give you the best of the best.

Personally I would start with the locorro bible, Bitter by Icandigelvis @oppa86oppa . All of us locorro stans have said this, but this fic started our interest in the ship for most and it caused the cultural revolution of our Spider ship community. This fic still months later lives with me 24/7, and it really is one of THE fics I've ever read of all time. It went righttt into my collection of fics to show to my MFA prof who told me to stop reading fanfiction lol, like seconds after I finished it. Then I put it in the grad school jealousy collection because it's that well formatted.

The Restless Child series by @spicymiilk is a full length novel that will take you a bit lol. I am biased as I do beta it but it's real good. I keep not anticipating turns I should anticipate, but maybe we can convince Andrei to simply let us live for a sec because the fact that it's been like two weeks in universe hit me yesterday while editing and I wanted to fall off an ikran (👀).

There is also, NATURALLY, The Thunder Answered Back by @spicymiilk. This fic crawled up my butt what I can I say. You all got to read my massive post about it, hope u enjoyed that. I was walking back from work today, listening to Back to You by Louis Tomlinson ft Bebe Rexha, in 91 degree heat and it started to thunder and simply pour rain and I was like "I am lIVING The Thunder Answered Back vibes rn, holy fuck." You know it's good writing in general when it gives you a specific vibe. Tbh, that song is that fics vibes, perhaps locorro vibes in general.

I'm only gonna rec one spiri fic for a few reasons. One, because there is a criminal lack of content for them, and two, that fic is worlds above any other spiri fics. I think it's a great starter fic for getting into Spider ships and for getting into spiri in general, just because of how detailed and in depth the world is, my god. It's basically Spider and Kiri pov switches from their childhood up until wayyy past Way of Water and until the end of all conflict with humans. Like any good canon continuation, I disagree with and I agree with a ton of @milesocorro 's interpretation. I don't particularly enjoy the way the conflict concludes, but I really adore the way Quaritch is handled. I said this before to the author, but it's my favorite Quaritch confrontation I've read yet. I have a review up for it while it was still coming out, and I said there I was obsessed with Spider's tsurak and I still fucking am. That's my fav Spider iknimaya sequence too!! Anyways, that's my repeated pitch for Please be kind, please be gentle with me .

#you guys don't get it i have nocorro and locorro as favorited tags so i'll see if anyone posts content about them #every time i open my tags it's like just my posts sksksksk #tumblr be like okay narcissus look in the lake #idk why i remembered back to you existed last week but that must mean it's a locorro vibe #although tbh i've been listening to it thinking of accidentally mated nocorro lately #i'll just throw it in the spider vibes playlist and hope for the best #anyways hope we converted u babes #miles spider socorro #spider socorro #neteyam sully #nocorro #lo'ak sully #locorro #kiri sully #spiri #miles quaritch #fic recs #avatar #avatar the way of water #james cameron avatar #melissa's asks #melissa on avatar (cameron)#melissa is an english major #that tag feels like it fits rn #like this was way too many words for this simple a question poor lottie #the amount of times i've mentioned and recced bitter is also not funny at this point

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rjalker · 2 years ago

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look at these Butia* palm flowers, June 15th, 2023.

[ID: Two photographs of a palm tree from the genus Butia.

The first photo is taken from ground level, looking up at the tree, which has long green fronds. In the center is a large flower stalk that is yellow and red.

The second photo zooms in on the flower stalk, showing that it is covered in thousands of tiny yellow and red flowers.

End ID.]

the asterisk is because this is from the genus Butia, not a specific species. It used to be just one species, but then it was split into two, and I have no idea how to tell the two apart, and most people growing / selling them also don't know or just don't care.

These trees are also sometimes called Pindo palms, or jelly palms. Sometimes African jelly palms, though they're not from Africa.

Either way, if the flowers are pollinated (and there was a bee flying around up there helping!), the trees will form golf-ball sized orange fruits (I think they're technically dates?) that are sometimes called pina colada fruits, because they taste super tropical and awesome.

Here's two, each from a different tree. Like animals, plants are their own individuals, and each have their own individual traits, so some trees will have bigger fruits than others, and they'll each have their own unique flavor:

[ID: A photograph of two white hands holding up two Butia palm fruits to the camera. Both are orange, but the one on the left is smaller and more deeply orange, with unblemished skin, and the one on the right is larger, wider, and slightly paler orange, with some bruising on the skin. On the sidewalk in the background, and the grass next to it, more of the smaller orange fruits can be seen. End ID.]

The smaller one here was growing at a gas station, so uh, yeah don't eat fruits growing at gas stations even if you know the species itself isn't poisonous, lol. You also obviously need to make sure when you're collecting the fruit in general that it has not been sprayed with pesticide.

If your neighbors grow these trees and you know they don't use pesticides or anything, you can probably ask if it's okay to collect the fruit, and they'll probably thank you since it means they don't have to do it themselves.

If You own one of these trees, you can spread a tarp or a net out below the tree to catch the fruit when it falls so it doesn't get dirty :)

These fruits are very fiberous, so they can cause an upset stomach for some people, but you can squish them and drink the juice, which is where it gets the name African jelly palm -- mix the juice with pectin, and you've got some fruity tropical jelly!

They have a single seed in the center, which is.......pretty sure the word is polyembryonic, it's one seed but it's got three or four uh, babies inside. So if you grow one seed, you should get multiple seedlings that come up.

You can look at a seed and see each of the different...embyros. I'm not sure if that's even the right word for this but eh.

[ID: Two photos placed next to eachother of a cleaned seed from a Butia palm, held by a white hand over a sidewalk. The seed is light brown, has a hard coat, and is oval shaped, with a dark circle toward the narrow end. When turned upright, three lines can be seen trisecting the seed into three sections. End ID.]

These trees are commonly planted in the southern united states as decorative trees, and most people don't know the fruit's edible, or if they do, they just don't care.

We collected a bunch of seeds last year but weren't sure how to get them growing, so now I have one in a container of water and dirt with some canna lilies as part of the experiment.

I'm not sure how long it takes these trees until they can produce fruit, but if you find one with fruit on it...definitely make a note to come back in August or so and see if you can get any when it's ripe.

Pindo, Butia, or Jelly palms can be told apart from other commonly planted palm trees in the Southern US from their long fronds with the leaves radiating out from the central, vein, while most other palms have fronds with a long stem, then a fan shape at the end where the leaves radiate out:

[ID: An MS paint drawing of two scribbled palm fronds drawn in green.

The top one is labeled, "Cabbage palm native to North America" with a smiley emoticon, and continues, "Technically also has edible fruit but it's tiny with a big seed and dry and the birds will appreciate it more. Shaped like a hand or fan." The frond has a long stem, then a wider, jagged end. Several small black circles are labeled, "Tiny black fruits".

The second one is labeled, "Butia / Pindo native to South America" with a smiley emoticon, and continues, "Shaped like a feather", with several orange and gold circles labeled, "Yay fruit" and "golf-ball sized fruits", with one having orange lines radiating out from it. End ID.]

These fruits ripen around August, so keep an eye out then! You can collect them off the ground (if it's safe to do so), or if you've got a ladder or step stool, off the branch if they're ripe enough to come off easily.

If / when I get any of the seeds to germinate I will let you know :)

#long post #wild edibles #well.#if you're in their native range they're wild lol #edible foraging #foraging #urban edibles #urban foraging #described images #palm fruit #dates #pindo palm #butia palm #jelly palm

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northern-passage · 2 years ago

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ok all of first screaming and crying over the new update etc etc. all of SECOND quick lore question(s) about blood pacts! (forgive me if there is a codex entry i overlooked just point me that way and i will head on over lol) how are they perceived culturally? i can’t quite tell from the flavor text when clem makes a deal with you if it’s intended to come off as “fairly standard/commonplace practice, if a little unusual in the specific context” vs “immediately very strange/extreme”? basically, How Weird is it supposed to be that clem offers that to you? is there any circumstance where it’s normal/expected to see them used? are all blood pacts magically binding? are there differences in cultural perception in the north vs south? upper class vs lower class? thanks!

the handshake is pretty universal; i actually had a conversation planned with Clem while you walked to the isolation district, but i had to cut it for pacing (and i plan to have a similar conversation later instead now) so there isn't really any indication in game yet, aside from the hunter's reaction when Clem offers it.

in the codex entry for magic, blood magic is briefly touched on and how in certain instances it's "allowed," like healing magic. the handshake is similar, it's just treated like signing a contract, and like you see here in this conversation most people don't even consider it to be blood magic, it's become so disassociated with it. it's also not really called a bloodpact in game - that's just the easiest thing for me to call it but that name makes it sound more serious than it is.

it works more like a pinky promise than a "pact"; you can't intentionally break your side of the deal, and neither can Clementine. if you do, you can be injured/will lose something equivalent to the value of the thing you promised. this kind of magic is very loosey goosey; it very much is connected to the person's intentions and whether or not they are genuine. if something did happen to Clementine despite the hunter's best efforts, they wouldn't necessarily be punished to the fullest extent possible if they were truly trying everything in their power to protect them.

when Clem asks the hunter to shake on it in that way, they're basically ensuring that the hunter will not lie or turn on them, because now if they do there is the potential for the hunter to be punished as well. and vice versa, the hunter can assure that Clementine won't try to give them the slip without paying them again, so it's beneficial on both sides. it's not exactly uncommon, but it can be considered a little extreme or offputting in certain situations. it does actually make sense with Clem and the hunter - considering Clem just admitted to having never planned to pay them for their original deal, and the fact that they don't really know each other well, a handshake like that is an easy way to protect yourself when making deals with strangers.

and this is definitely a "working class" kind of gesture. rich people are too evil to ever be able to successfully fulfill a bloodpact. lmfao. it's definitely seen as "gross," demeaning, and insulting in higher class circles; and i would say far more malicious, too (as in if someone like Duncan wanted to make a bloodpact with you, it would almost definitely be a way for him to trap you in some kind of Situation) whereas a shake between two people just trying to get by together feels far more sincere and is seen more as just covering all your bases than trying to take advantage of someone.

however, all of that to say: when it comes to the trade with Duncan, the hunter doesn't understand what's happening, nor do they immediately get angry or suspicious of Clem afterwards, because what happened in the courtyard... let's just say a handshake shouldn't be able to compel the hunter in that way.

#tnp spoilers #this is stuff that will be explained in game as well like i said i just had to move the conversation back #but it is very much meant to be confusing both to the hunter and the reader at this point #i did put the handshake early in the game w little explanation intentionally #i wanted it to feel casual bc for the hunter it is and they don't think much of it #which i suppose worked since so many people were confused mdfnksjf #i felt like if i emphasized it people would immediately be sus #i mean clem IS sus but i didnt want it to be too obvious too fast i guess #this conversation will now probably happen maaaybe second half of the chapter? or ch3 #not entirely sure because i am once again fighting with the pacing lmfao #ask #pearsharks #lore

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omgkalyppso · 2 years ago

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💘💗 for Almanzor and Peregrine? 🥺

Thank you for the ask! 🥺

💘 What do they love most about their partner(s)? What do their partner(s) love most about them?

I think after Miklan's death a lot of the people in Peregrine's life lost their idealism, hope and the rebellion in their hearts. They became less occupied with social order and more desperate for their next meal. The war didn't help, and when Peregrine lost her spouse, she too fell into jaded pragmatism. The soldiers in her retinue were nearly bandits, held together by coin, pride, opposition to the dukedom, and defense of their homes.

It takes time for her to love Almanzor, even into their relationship. He thinks he's bitter and has his regrets, many stemming from outbursts of frustration. But she finds that what he calls bitter, she would call defensive, that his regrets are far from worst in her mercenary band, and that his outbursts come from an honesty that is both refreshing and worrisome. He has a good heart and a respect for family, and she falls in love with both.

Almanzor respects her ability to lead and her strength (and her relationship to her daughters), but it isn't until he's on the receiving end of her vulnerability that he starts to fall in love. He loves her tenacity; enduring each hard day with the drive for a better tomorrow. He wouldn't wish harder days upon her, but he loves when she invites his aid when challenges reach a head. He loves the values she holds onto, and that she dictates of her mercenary band. He loves the situational patience she has, for him in their relationship, and between actions taken to assert herself among mercenaries and to assert her mercenaries politically.

She doesn't see beauty in all things, but she appreciates (the beauty of) things she holds in esteem obstinately; and I think that's what he loves about her most. But like, narratively? In the big picture? Obviously he wouldn't love that about her if he was diametrically opposed to those things? Idk. They get along, and they roll their eyes at and about one another, but their rough edges fit together far more than they fall apart.

💗 Describe your OC’s partner(s) from their point of view! What do they really think about them?

I'm going to do something Completely Different, because I know you won't mind. Turning a WIP into a simple post. Maybe someday it will be a fic or part of a fic.

2782 unedited words below the cut. Peregrine's dialogue is at times intentionally grammatically wrong. Other grammatical errors are probably unintentional. Lol.

An iron nail clattered on the silver circle below the candle on the wall, signalling the hour. Almanzor had something of a routine for his moonlit hours on slow nights like this, and though the sound was meant to call an end to his writing, he’d not managed more than five words this evening. His mind was elsewhere; in the future, in the past, in the house he currently occupied.

He had been living under Peregrine’s roof for nearly nine months now, and publicly for at least four. It was home, more than anywhere else had ever been, certainly more than the inn and the barracks that had preceded it.

Here his boots still stood in a line, but not with soldiers’ or strangers’, but with little ones. Some nights he would hear Peregrine’s daughters, Apolline and Huguette, whispering either in their room or their mother’s, while he brought his footwear to the rear of the house, up past their bedtime in a way that was safe and dry and warm and quiet … These details only occurred to him because of what he knew of their past, where their family had been on the run.

Apolline was too young to remember, but Huguette sometimes still had moments of distress because of three hard years that had culminated in her father’s death.

She’d brought up how her relationship to Almanzor would have been inevitably different if her father were still alive, once. Conflicted and young, slightly accusatory, and resigned to how that would never be. It had hardly been a conversation, there was little he could say, and less that she wanted to hear. Mostly he had held her as she wept through unearthed grief, and had worried that he’d injured their relationship beyond repair through some inadequacy, but Apolline had been friendlier with him from then on, and even Peregrine had expressed stilted thanks sometime after.

With a careful hand, Almanzor unlatched and popped open the rear door, walking out past the runoff from the roof to the untouched snow at the edge of the property. A bucket, freshly tossed atop the blanket of white waited for his careful retrieval, and he quickly stuffed it into the edge of the shovelled bank to fill it.

Rushing back, a breeze cut through him as if the elements themselves were chiding him for failing to bundle himself appropriately in his eagerness. Yet he restrained the impulse to keep his boots as he entered, and curled his toes in each step of the carpet to speed along the restoration of feeling to the soles of his feet.

Above the fire in the main room of the house an iron pan with a tapered point could be tilted to and from blocking the chimney overhead. With a nearby rag, Almanzor tipped the pan on its hinges until it locked in place, and started preparing water for Peregrine’s nightly tea.

She’d been in the habit of making it until he’d started insisting on performing the task. The first time had been a novelty, as he’d been instructed on where she kept cheesecloths, and how to use a large, flat spoon to scoop snow out onto the cloth in the pan. When the snow had melted, the cloth could be removed for cleaning in the event there had been any debris, and then the water was left to boil both to remove impurities and for the sake of the tea. It was the second time Almanzor had made the tea that he’d noticed how Peregrine had blushed with delight, and this had been when he’d decided it should be part of his routine.

While she could prepare the tea on her own, Almanzor hoped that Peregrine enjoyed having someone make her tea as much as he enjoyed having someone for whom to make tea.

And not just anyone, but each other.

While the water set to boiling, Almanzor puttered around. He returned his boots to the row by the front door, and latched the back one. He washed his hands with a basin that was set out on the counter for this purpose, the water stale and oily from a day’s use, the simple soap laced with fruit rinds and sand.

When the water was ready, Almanzor tipped the pan so the water poured down into a teapot and set it aside to steep.

With still more time until the tea was ready, Almanzor collected two small bread rolls from a cloche on the counter. One he ate immediately, without guilt or compunction, but the other he sliced in half and placed upon the pan over the fire, turning it over until it was firm and golden.

The room smelled of bitter tea and warm bread as Almanzor plucked the roll from the pan with a knife, and he brought both this and the teapot to where he could spread the roll with butter and pour the tea into a deep, clay mug.

The bedroom door was ajar, and Almanzor pressed on it lightly, allowing its squeak to signal his presence, though he imagined his footfalls were less than subtle.

Peregrine was at her own desk, surrounded with letters and clippings of decrees and flyers. She worked hard to stay informed and relevant. She smiled, stiff with stress, over her shoulder as Almanzor placed the tea by the bed and brought the bread to her side.

When Peregrine glanced at Almanzor again he had a hand over his heart and she sighed affectionately. “Sit down. I will free in short order.”

Almanzor hovered regardless, resting a hand on the back of her chair as he leaned in to press a kiss to the top of her head, smiling to himself when she hummed with more appreciation than she’d been able to manage at his entry.

“More trouble with the ports?” he asked casually, reaching for three bulletins on her desk.

“Just a bit,” Peregrine answered simply, frowning at her letter. “They want archers on the bridges,” she held up two fingers to indicate where, on the map in front of her, “to watch the boats that pass beneath.” She rapped her knuckles on the map. “But this has been going on for too long — and with extremely particular casualties.” She rested the flat of her palm upon her paperwork wearily. “If the problem is collusion, I don’t want my people to end up as scapegoats.”

“They’re not paying enough,” Almanzor observed, uncritically.

“Not enough for ransom and compensation, no,” Peregrine agreed, and Almanzor knew the lingo enough to know that by ransom she meant bail or fines.

She turned over her hands, and as her left thumb and fingertip were clean of ink, she ate a bite of the bread Almanzor had brought.

“Are you alerting the margravate?” Almanzor asked, and now he let his worry be plain in his tone as he lifted his hand from the table and took a step back.

“I wouldn’t without consulting with the others … but it will be something to consider.” Peregrine grimaced and shrugged. It would be bad for their reputation among other clients and other mercenary bands if they did.

“The territory is already a mess of veterans and unclaimed traitors,” Peregrine said, as if reading Almanzor’s thoughts. “And missing the refugees that have returned south. It’s only going to complicate further the next few years.”

Almanzor squeezed Peregrine’s shoulder, adrift in the assurance that he could offer without contaminating his sincerity. To his relief, she turned her head to press her cheek to his hand in acknowledgement, and that was all that was needed in the moment. She returned to her missives, and Almanzor moved across the room to pour himself a cup of water from a pitcher that sat on a narrow table.

He swallowed twice, and then nodded to himself and his passing thoughts. He suspected she was working more slowly, as if to give him privacy as he took off his glasses and swept at his eyes, pulled out of his day clothes and into nightwear. Almanzor clasped his hand around the pouch at his neck, normally removed for bed but currently safely beneath his clothing.

When he looked back at Peregrine through the blur of his vision, he couldn’t make out more than the black of her hair, turning away from him to the pages in front of her, the beige of her shirt, making soft wisping noises with her movements, and her thick creamy legs, bare and bent around her seat. Replacing his glasses meant he could pick out the silver in her hair, the gold in her eyes, the wrinkle on her nose as she focused, the loose stitching of her clothing.

He drifted his hand across her shoulders as he moved to the bed, and Peregrine’s writing raced away again, first through her words and then over a tally on a calendar.

Almanzor couldn’t help but think of the day that calendar would need replacing. He hoped that it would be a simple act, unremarkable, but it could easily be because this one was stolen or needed to be burned or abandoned. He would play any part of the myriad possibilities that came to mind if Peregrine asked.

She ate the rest of the bread roll and moved to the table that housed the pitcher Almanzor had used, and a basin. She washed the ink from her hands and collected the tea by the bedside, drinking much of it even before she sat.

“Thank you,” Peregrine whispered, pulling the covers over her crossed legs as she propped against their pile of pillows.

“You’re welcome.”

Almanzor had one leg propped across his opposite knee and leaned in to accommodate Peregrine’s position.

She looked tired, if happy, and everything had gone as well as it could have to be a passably ordinary night.

This is what he had convinced himself he’d wanted to broach this conversation. If he had worked to make the night special then that would have tipped his hand, or— It was hard to articulate, but Almanzor could anticipate that this would have placed pressure on Peregrine, and that she would have assumed he was romanticizing what their lives could be, and not recognized the laborous monotony that made up much of her lifestyle.

“Any strides in your stories you’d like to sound out?” asked Peregrine, turning to accept Almanzor’s arm around her middle as she reached back for her tea.

“No, I… I was distracted,” Almanzor confessed.

She hummed, half inquisition, half understanding, and tilted her head as Almanzor rested his chin upon her shoulder. His free hand, not around her, held aside the pouch on his neck, and he took a breath.

“I have a big question. And I feel it should, to some degree, involve the girls. But it's something we should discuss first.”

As Peregrine turned to look at him, Almanzor let his arm slip away so he could remove the cord from around his neck without disturbing his glasses. From inside he produced a silver ring, with three modest little emeralds; a common man’s engagement ring.

“Al?!” Peregrine hissed.

“Peregrine.” He’d meant to say it to soothe, but he couldn’t hide his amusement, his own surprise. He’d expected her to be embarrassed and shocked, but not … jubilant. Her cheeks were pinched and rounded with failure to suppress her smile, and Almanzor was tempted to abandon the rest of what he’d intended to say to kiss her instead. With restraint, he kissed the side of her forehead and then closed his eyes and spoke plainly, in a way that might hurt another but that Peregrine had always appreciated.

“I don't know whether you'd only want to associate marriage with your late spouse…” Upon opening his eyes, he found no objection forthcoming, and continued, nervously. “This is a request, and an offer, but it isn't an ultimatum; and even if you say you’re not interested in marriage, you can still have my vow. You’ve come to be — more than important to me. Two years ago I didn’t know you and I — I am not that person anymore. I never could be, again. I would always be in your house. I would always be there to mend your armor. To be yours, as you need me. Will you marry me?”

“How long have you been thinking of this?” asked Peregrine, and Almanzor scoffed in delight, that this would be her response and immediate reaction. He made to speak but the fingertips of her right hand found his lips, silencing him. “And don't say any romantic drivel, like, 'Since the moment I met you,' or whatever. I want a serious answer.”

Almanzor tilted his head towards her hand as it curved around his cheek and behind his jaw.

“I know, Poppy. It has been on my mind since about Verdant Rain Moon. Huguette walked us all over town, and I was tired, and worried, and a little irritated, if you recall—”

“I do,” Peregrine said, in admission and to tease. Almanzor averted his gaze momentarily to capitulate. His unfair irritation had been with Peregrine and others in Huguette’s life who might have more appropriately diagnosed the pain the young girl had been under as coming with puberty, and saved them a few hours of distress.

“But I didn't want her to know that,” he clarified, “because I love her and Apolline.” This was easier to say, and easier still for Peregrine to hear. Their exchanges of typical statements of love were still shy and sparring, though the sentiment was often felt, and so Almanzor felt reasonable with his proposal.

“And then you asked me to stay,” Almanzor asserted, and whether or not Peregrine remembered that this had been the first night that he’d stayed openly, with her girls at home and nothing planned, he remembered, “and none of that mattered. Because it had been a labor of love and I knew you were tired too. And you wanted to recharge with me. I imagined days and months and years of doing things for you and the girls, of supporting one another. It would be all I want now. Nothing would make me happier. And I want you to know that. I would do anything for you. That's all this is.”

Peregrine had taken her hand back at some point during his blathering. It rested over her mouth now, still curved in a smile. She swept back her hair and asked him, coy, “You said you think the girls should have some say in this?”

Almanzor rolled his eyes and hid the ring securely in his fist to keep from dropping it, noting how Peregrine’s eyes followed its disappearance. “I don't want to put you at odds with them. I don't want them to feel betrayed by either of us.”

“They adore you,” Peregrine said, her tone implying that this could be chiding in some way, and not, as Almanzor felt, the very crux of his concern. She frowned for just a moment, a flash of something deeper that she might have trusted Almanzor with in a different moment, but she was distracted, and wrapped a hand around his fist. “They are very loving, and Apolline especially, but ... it's different. I can't see them objecting.” Peregrine pressed her thumb in the crook of Almanzor’s hand as he lowered it between them, as if holding his hand and caressing the promise within. “They could find a father on you.”

“To my great surprise,” Almanzor said, with more wonder than self-depreciation. He leaned in to press his forehead to Peregrine’s. “What about you, Poppy? What do you see in me? No wrong answers.”

Her eyes flit up and down, from where she played with his hands and over the proximity of his person. There was no eye contact like this, but Almanzor could feel it, a friendly assessment, an admiration, an indulgence. “A lover. A partner. A friend. A husband.”

“Your husband?” he asked, opening his hand entirely now. Her fingers drifted away, as if surprised, and then she clasped the ring between thumb and forefinger as she rested her hand down upon his.

“My husband,” she confirmed.

Peregrine pulled back as she put on the ring, and Almanzor followed her lead.

“Wild lions couldn't keep me from you,” Peregrine said, blushing deeply, meeting Almanzor’s kiss as he leaned back towards her.

“I love you too,” he said, pulling her half across him.

“With all my heart,” Peregrine said, reaching farther away to dim the lantern. Another kiss found the top of her head in the dark, and a quiet whimper of joy as she settled on his chest.

#long post #oc tag: almanzor #oc tag: peregrine #blaiddyd bastards

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