#Blizzarde

[prokopetz]

The constant rolling disaster that is Overwatch's game development aside, what really perplexes me about how Blizzard is handling the broader franchise is their continual insistence that a canon narrative exists in spite of their equally continual refusal to tell anyone what it is.

Like, okay, the events of the games aren't canon. Fair enough: the games are multiplayer-only, and you can't account for player actions.

Oh, and the animated short films aren't canon either – they're properly understood as in-universe propaganda, not depictions of actual events. That's a little high concept for you guys, but fine.

But surely the comics are canon, right? Well, no; some of the comics (we're not telling you which ones) were canon at one point, but the writing team has decided to go in a different direction.

My dudes, what is left? The weird Source Filmmaker porn? Is that canon? Well, apparently it's at least as canon as anything else!

[reformedmercymain]

Scariest notification I can open my phone to

[pixel8or]

[tallgh0st]

good morning ☀️

[gifs-of-puppets]

Sesame Street (1969-Present)

[batfam-belfry]

LET HIM DRIVEEEEEE

[thedharmafox]

Hey Blizzard? You're in a race against a dead horse and still losing, maybe pack it in

[sheeps-eye]

Heltonville, IN 2012 blizzard.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I went to Dairy Queen and asked for a blizzard. The worker said the only flavor of blizzard they had was sausage. Just straight up sausage. It had the little sausage links and everything. I got pissed and said I’d be going to Sonic instead.

[shisabun-art]

I'm starting to think Blizzard hates Ramattra.

[prokopetz]

So, let me get this straight. Blizzard's plan for regaining audience goodwill with the 1.0 release of Overwatch 2 is to open with a heavily promoted PvE mission pack (i.e., thereby reminding everyone of the vapourware PvE campaign they built Overwatch 2's entire marketing strategy around, then quietly axed once they had everybody's money), and the premise of this PvE mission pack is basically doubling down on the broadly disliked "our heroes put down a slave rebellion" PvE storyline from the first game? Have I got all that right?

[pixel8or]

[possessedpasm]

Michigan Weather

[jacobtheloofah]

Bethesda and Activision Blizzard sitting at a bar holding their heads: god i don’t know if any other game company can fuck up their whole situation worse than we have

Unity, shoving in the western doors of the bar as the piano player stops playing and everyone turns: hello boys

[barometric]

nemo blizzard of 2013