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fountainpenguin · 3 months ago

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Short Version: I don't even know how to begin explaining this, so take these 'fic doodles with no context.

Wish Fixers, my chronically unhelpful beloved...

Long Version (City Lights AU #ridspoilers beyond the above implication. Mentions of death and trauma; it gets pretty dark)

Nalooksthrough, I tag you below because I cited your co-dependent toxic friendship comic and said it was cool- If you don't want to click, that's all the tag was :)

So I started outlining my Dale backstory 'fic (Lemonade and Papercuts) since I am the most predictable person alive and of COURSE I can't resist 7 years of trauma and intimacy anxiety <3. But planning a 'fic like this requires many pieces and many questions.

First and most obvious- How did Vicky lure in Dale? From previous planning, I've already decided that since they're the same age (maybe one year off), they probably knew each other in school or activities.

Ex: Squirrely Scouts & Cream Puffs... Not unreasonable- Throughout the series, many kids participate and the organizations seem to have a big following in Dimmsdale. Vicky's sister Tootie is in the Cream Puffs and Vicky is seen bossing them around in the Season 0 episode "Scout's Honor" ("Oh Yeah! Cartoons"). There's a comic by the same name depicting Remy in Squirrely Scouts (after "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" but before he gets his memories back in "Remy Rides Again" and I always thought it was cute). I mean, look at him:

Pictures courtesy of the FOP Wiki

It's not unreasonable that Dale - who's also rich - might've gotten into that (especially since Doug is big on the cowboy theming and of all the rich parents, he's probably the one most okay with his son playing in dirt). Something scout-related could be an option even if Dale and Vicky went to different schools.

A friendship that gets increasingly toxic until it spirals into full-on abuse sounds really interesting (and @nalooksthrough portrayed this idea beautifully imo in THIS comic I can't stop thinking about).

Sounds fun to write, so let's go with that. What's next?

Hey, remember when 7 years ago, I headcanon'd H.P. as Dale's godfather because of this doodle in Da Rules that specifically refers to Pixie godparents and depicts a fluffy-haired kid in a purple shirt?

I recently found out I still had Dale listed as a godchild of H.P. on his full character profile on my fanfic sideblog. I was waffling over whether to retcon that (since I hadn't yet done anything with it), but I started brainstorming whether I COULD do anything with it.

I've always written Wish Fixers in 'fic [e.g. Origin of the Pixies] as a therapy business run by H.P.'s dad (which H.P. bought off him out of spite despite not being licensed for therapy) but, like...

Does Jorgen know H.P. isn't licensed? I can't see why he would... As far as he knows, H.P. owns and runs the place- especially given my lore that Wish Fixers has been in his family for many generations. Sounds qualified to me!

In "School's Out! The Musical" (episode that Da Rules screenshot is from), we learn Pixies are at the back of the line for godparent work, even under creatures like unicorns (Hence the Musical's plot requiring them to remove magical creatures from earth before they could assign themselves to Flappy Bob).

I said in a recent liveblog post that I'd always imagined this was a punishment given to them due to H.P. absolutely failing as godfather to Dale- Thus, the origin of the doodle on the page for that rule. But... I never decided what happened.

See, Dale SEEMS like a guy who would qualify for a fairy. He was probably pretty miserable under Vicky's 7 years of torture and he's still holding onto that trauma in his adulthood.

DID he have a fairy?

I'm just saying, we know from S4's "Wish Fixers" that H.P. is legally(?) allowed to make contracts that swap a fairy godparent with a pixie one if godkids choose to sign of their own free will... Hmm... I'm connecting dots I don't think I like... (I am lying).

I mean?? Dale clearly did not get out of the pit due to magical interference. If I'm committing to the doodle being Dale and reflecting an actual godfather-godson dynamic between him and H.P., then something sure went wrong there. I can't NOT make Dale suffer...

What on earth could've made Dale sign a contract for something a fairy couldn't give him? We know from "Nectar of the Odds" canon that he wished to see his dad, and thanks to previous liveblogs, I DO already have a headcanon of Dale being extremely desperate for his dad's love... Hmm... I can work with that.

I went down a rabbit hole trying to answer the question of how Vicky secured lemons for 7 years for Dale (and other kids) to work with. Here are some lemon tree facts:

- Lemon trees bear fruit after only a few years - They can bear fruit multiple times a year (depending on variety) - A single lemon tree can produce 1,500 lemons in one growing season - Dimmsdale is in California - a state known for lemon orchards.

That feels likely... An orchard of even a few trees can keep you going for a while.

But lemonade doesn't sell for much compared to other things Vicky could've set a kidnapped child up to do (Ex: In "Microphony," she has kids doing a bunch of other tasks like answering phones for her babysitting service, painting houses, and washing cars).

So... WHY lemonade? What is going on that makes this the thing Vicky has Dale do for 7 years?

And who owns the orchard? I need Vicky to obtain lemons without being stopped for 7 years.

Is it a Dimmadome orchard? Maybe, but several episodes imply Vicky's not familiar with the Dimmadomes - and she probably would have turned Dale in for cash reward if given the chance - so those are two things I need to keep in mind.

Does the orchard belong to her family? That's a possibility- Vicky is shown drinking lemonade after "Nectar of the Odds." She definitely could've bought it - It can't be too expensive unless prices were jacked up after she lost her cheap labor - but it's a drink she's seen with in multiple episodes. She definitely likes it.

And we know from "Timmy's 2D House of Horror" that Vicky's parents are terrified of her. It's not likely they'd stop her from taking lemons from the family orchard.

One problem... If Dale goes missing when he's about 9 (Closer to 7 or 8 in my planned timeline), Vicky is also 9 or younger. Are her parents scared of her when she's that small and inexperienced in the ways of the world?

In "The Switch Glitch," she's 5 and seems mild and sweet until 10-year-old Timmy mistreats her- She clearly didn't have memories of Timmy, implying she totally regressed to how she acted when she really was 5. Worth pointing out she goes off the deep end and chains up Cosmo and Wanda, so... she IS mean even at age 5. But also, she's 5. She wears the same purple hair bow in "Switch Glitch" (at 5) that she does when Timmy drains the meanness out of her in "Vicky Loses Her Icky," which is interesting.

So that begs the question... Can I turn my Dale backstory 'fic into a double story of Dale abuse AND Vicky going from a pretty innocent child to Totally Messed Up? Keeping in mind that according to Vicky in A New Wish, Vicky IS the one responsible for abusing him and he "spent 7 years' worth of Saturdays in a factory underneath a lemonade stand."

If that's the way I want to play it... Something happened to send Dale and Vicky down the dual victim-and-abuser path, destinies intertwined. And for some reason, Vicky stuck with the lemonade theme.

Dale just says he spent his Saturdays "in a factory underneath a lemonade stand." It's not out of the question he and Vicky made more lemon products than just lemonade, especially given Vicky's love for money (and those 600 lbs of lemons one tree can produce in a year). We can assume they changed locations a few times or someone would've found the trapdoor on Timmy's lawn. Plus when Dale started his abuse, Vicky hadn't started babysitting Timmy, whom she only met when he was 8.

So, I've set Dale up to be lured in by Vicky because they were friends. I like the idea of things gradually getting worse as Vicky slowly morphs from a friend into a very cruel person. If Vicky was bullying him, what stopped him from just... leaving?

Vicky's transformation was probably subtle if he stayed for so long..... I also pointed out in a recent post that Doug's underground milk empire where he uses hypnotized people for labor bears a striking amount of similarities with Vicky's lemonade stand, even down to the general vibes of "trapdoor entrance" (although it's implied there's another entrance in small building).

And if we want to be technical about things... We don't know if Doug and Dale pressed charges against Vicky. She clearly continues to babysit Timmy and other kids after "Nectar of the Odds" (Season 2).

In Season 4 ("Channel Chasers"), Doug remarks that Timmy's parents should've guessed Vicky was evil because of the Chip Skylark song "Icky Vicky," but he doesn't mention Vicky kidnapping his son. That's.... sus. He even offers to buy a car from her in Season 3's "Engine Blocked" (after Dale's escape).

Why would such a powerful guy let all of that slide? Did they just not have enough proof? Did Vicky wipe the place clean? Did Dale "not want to make a big deal about it" because he was so exhausted and grateful, he just didn't want to think about it or struggle with the legal system? Was he covering for her?? Was he scared to speak up?

... Did Dale not tell his dad the whole truth about where he was?

What if Dale was - in some vague and early concept way - in on the lemonade scheme from the beginning, back when he and Vicky were friends and she wasn't so cruel? Maybe she turned on him and sentenced him to the pit before long?

Why the underground-ness of it? Why the lemonade, which probably doesn't turn much profit... as lemonade. Unless you have unrestrained access to tons of lemons that you can turn into multiple products - Dale DID call it a factory - and no one is stopping you from accessing them...

... but how do you set up a situation where kids have access to a whole lemon orchard - presumably carefully maintained - and the adults don't take it away from them (Because... surely they would've found Dale and multiple other kids if they strayed close).

And Dale didn't leave. He does in "Nectar of the Odds" - apparently of his own volition - but not before. Was he kept there mentally as well as physically?

We KNOW Vicky can't be monitoring him 24/7 because "Nectar of the Odds" is the only episode depicting her paying attention to him, while others show her doing many other things in many other places (though it's worth noting Dale says in that episode that "Vicky's kept him locked up for so long").

Did he stay so long because it was the perceived better fate up until he miraculously crossed paths with his dad (via fairy magic) and took the risk? Would he have gone back in?

Maybe it wasn't supposed to get this out of hand. Dale and Vicky were young when this started... Somewhere between 7 and 9 (given that Dale was kept there for 7 years and Vicky is 16 when he escaped and he tells 9-year-old Dev this happened when he was Dev's age).

Maybe there was an accident. Something not just Vicky, but even Dale felt the need to cover up, especially in regards to the orchard and the fact that it needs to be Vicky's consistent source of lemons (and not something she lost out on before Dale's escape... an illusion of ownership maintained. Kids can't own the orchard, but what if they fooled people into believing it wasn't owned by kids?)

Hmm... some kind of accident that got two mostly innocent kids into huge trouble, thus setting up a horribly intertwined fate where if one of these toxic co-dependent friends backs out and squeals, even the squealer might suffer worse compared to trucking along on the cruel existing path.

tl;dr - if Vicky and Dale accidentally killed the orchard owner but they were kids and terrified to tell an adult lest they go to jail for life so they hid the body in the basement (or like ?? threw it to the coyotes or hyenas that inexplicably lurk on the fringes of Dimmsdale??) and are trying desperately to wipe their hands of this by pretending the lemon orchard is still operational so no one investigates until they can figure out a plan, and then Vicky hardens herself as a trauma response and manipulates Dale into believing it was solely his fault and she'll pin him with murder charges if he gets cold feet and turns her in, and he's miserable and gets a fairy (then loses his fairy via Pixie contract through Wish Fixers, presumably in an attempt to negotiate a way to protect himself from Vicky and somehow not gaining the ire of his father) and then H.P. (lawyer and unlicensed yet de facto therapist pulled two ways) is suddenly Dale's godfather and trying to comprehend what the flip is going on between misery and manslaughter while he's also juggling Gary, Betty, and Flappy Bob at the same time in preparation for the Musical because we know he spent 37 years on that plan...

... Would that be one messed-up yet hyperspecifically canon-compliant 'fic or what?

These thoughts have been haunting me all weekend and I HAD to get my "I'm not that kind of lawyer or therapist" joke out of my system, so there's your context. #Sorry. Is this the direction the actual 'fic will go? ... It's not the direction I really had in mind, but ?? It's off the wall and therefore I must shake it in my teeth. I can't not write Dale backstory this horrific. what. hey.

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deepdrownlamentt · 11 months ago

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Hello !! I'd like to req for Lumen and Enforcer kissing hcs (separate) if possible 🥺🙏

↬ enforcer and lumen kissing hcs

content warnings: none

note: ofc u may!!!! i love the welfare boys sm ♡ however their skins are sucking my wallet dry to make up for the fact that they're free ...... i'm sorry this took so long to get to, but i still hope you enjoy!! - ̗̀( ˶'ᵕ'˶) ̖́-

note part 2 (2024 edition): did u know i had this in my drafts since february? wow. crazy. i am so sorry

↬ if you ever happen to catch ENFORCER during work hours, he's fond of sparing a moment to press a little kiss to your lips before he scurries over to his next task, his signature cup of coffee in his hand and a little smile on his face that was much less noticeable a moment ago. he's sorry, he doesn't mean to make you feel neglected, he says — he just has something to finish before he can go on break.

↬ it's during his off-time that he feels like he can spend time with you in earnest. just as he has a habit of kissing you before he goes on his next mission, he also enjoys kissing you as soon as he hangs up his coat for the day. it's less rushed this way, and some days he seems just a little tired, but he's always slow and gentle as he kisses you, as if savouring the feeling of your lips against his, and he always leaves the slightest taste of coffee lingering on your lips as he pulls away.

↬ enforcer is also very fond of peppering your face with kisses, or kissing the backs of your hands or the crown of your head. it's one of his favourite ways to wind down for the day, making a cup of coffee for you both and letting you go on about your day, or telling you about his own. sometimes he might trail off, tracing circles onto your hand with his thumb, and he'll lean forward, just a little, to press a kiss to a blemish on your cheek. it wakes him up better than a sip of his void of black coffee, and is much sweeter to him, too.

↬ when LUMEN kisses you, it almost seems as if he's equal parts eager and shy. he has a tendency to ask you each time before he does, too; while it might ruin any chances of surprising you, there's something endearing in the way he asks, may i kiss you? isn't there?

↬ his kisses are always light and gentle and sweet, like an early morning breeze. he's long past the days when he seemed afraid of coming off too strong — how could he have any sort of worries around you, when you make him feel so at home? — but he can't quite help it when it makes itself known in the barest brushes of his lips against your cheek. it's just how he is, he supposes, and he has to admit that he loves the way you laugh when his breath tickles your skin.

↬ lumen loves kissing your lips, of course, but he also has a habit of kissing aaaall over your hands, over your wrist, your thumb, every scar and callus and bruise. if not that, he might massage your shoulders while pressing a kiss to the nape of your neck. little moments like this at the end of the day are what he looks forward to the most, no matter how tired or haggard the both of you look — he adores you more than he has words to tell you with, but in this, at the very least, he hopes to somehow convey it to you.

#♡. writing | burial beyond the light.#arknights x reader #enforcer x reader #lumen x reader #sorry for dying!!!!!!! i ate shit during the worst exam of my life multiple weeks in a row #eyja evwnt soon ... happy 4th akversary to the year 1 doctors :)!!

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revserrayyu · 2 months ago

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One HSR Character a Day Extra 3 (Day 54): Feixiao

#honkai star rail #feixiao #hsr edits #revsdailyhsr #AAAAHHH THATS MY GENERAL!! for real i cant even put into words how much i love her.. she just grabbed my attention from #the very first moment she was introduced & hasnt let go! not that id want her to anyway because she's simply AMAZING! love #her attitude & her lore & the 2.5 update did her so much justice im so happy! not to mention how stunning her combat #is! she's so great for follow up teams & i get so giddy watching her land big numbers. im beyond thankful that i managed to #pull her & her light cone early. she knew id treat her right & rushed home lol. seriously i havent been this excited for #another character since i started & saw serval which already feels like ages ago. aahhh her design is just so cool..she's gorgeous &#her voice fits her perfectly! im certain she'll return in future stories & i simply cant wait for me to go crazy for her all over again.#truly the most badass woman in the game & my mind cant be changed. id absolutely spend money on merch & even eidolons.#it's seriously astonishing how down bad i am for her. i truly havent felt this way about any character from any media in years.

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fictionadventurer · 1 year ago

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Many men had offered her many things in the past, love and friendship, luxury and jewels, entertainment, dogs, amusements, homage--some she had accepted, some refused, but no man before had offered her work. Peter had offered her that, he had offered her a share of his--not noble or inspiring or fascinating work, just his work, what he had. He had offered it her, called her great energies into play, and set her to work beside himself in a furrow. And she was glad; for some reason she found it very good.

--Desire by Una Lucy Silberrad

#books #jo walton has done it again #almost the only reason i ever look at tor.com these days is to read her monthly roundup of the books she's read #because a good chunk of her reading is the type of classics i love #including a lot of forgotten light classics of the early 20th century #this was one of those #mentioned in a column from last year that i happened to read the other day #with a review that said this should be one of those classics that everyone knows and reads #instead of being this completely forgotten book #and since it happened to be on hoopla (a common perk of these types of book recs from her) i read it #i don't think it's all-time classic great #but it's a solid middlebrow novel #the beginning was a bit of rough going but after the major part of the plot kicked off it become rather lovely #because there was a lot of the above #explorations of the value of work and friendships and relationships #and because of things like the above quote the central relationship is one of my favorite romances of the year #it's a solid relationship built on friendship and mutual respect #with both of them having stories and emotional journeys beyond the romance #reminded me a little bit of gaskell in some ways

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pinkidolly · 9 months ago

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buzzy lightyear to the wes-cue!! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

#buzz light year #to the rescue #age regressor #agere blog #agere community #age regression #agere little #little space #toy story #moodboard #pinkcore #pink #woody #buzz lightyear of star command #to infinity and beyond #sfw agere #sfw regression #sfw littlespace

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chiropteracupola · 1 year ago

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The love of the Wanderer is to wanderers.

#em draws stuff #travel light #this image has been about a year in the making (I wanted to draw it when I first read it but I only got to it now)#my thoughts on travel light are. well they are this image primarily.#been a while and a while since I drew in this style and it feels GOOD to be doing it again!!#wish I'd figured out a way to fit steinvor into the composition but it was a hard squish even to include tarkan der (and he's very tiny)#the way I've done the mountains are purposefully referencing one of the earlier covers of the hobbit as I love jirt's painting style #and it seemed apt for various things about the way travel light exists and the kinds of things it has to say #it is right on the edge of where legend meets life when it comes to depicting early medieval europe and it's. well. read it actually.#book that makes you want to listen to 'to holmgard and beyond' by turisas except exactly backwards #(in the varangian way they are going the other direction and also they are much more (to put it as halla would) dragonish about it)#song I first heard in the context of an absolutely wild 8tracks playlist in 2015 which changed my music taste forever. anyway.#really I must read more naomi mitchison except that no library in the entire state of california appears to have a copy of the big house :/#anyway anyway. if I ever get my own copy of this book I Will be rebinding it to have this for a cover I like it so very much

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princessnijireiki · 11 months ago

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anyway my most spiciest political take right now is so many people are showing how easy it is to lash out when they are feeling helpless, or to believe in a villain they can defeat on a smaller scale than the way the bigger wheels of the world are grinding beyond our reach, because they want to be able to do something, anything, even though that can be propaganda in and of itself, and it makes you lose track of the power of kindness and aid and support in our hands that we can do.

I think the biggest thing people can do is log off, not offline entirely, but log off the platforms where people are screaming at each other just because things feel so fraught that they have to scream and having a target lulls you into feeling like it is productive, and reach out to whoever it is you DO want to help, and ask them what you can do. financially, volunteering, labor, prayer, therapy, buying phone cards, whatever.

it's not as emotionally cathartic as feeding into your own self righteous indignation by fighting strangers on the internet, it won't lie to you and tell you that you're singlehandedly making somebody across the world bulletproof or neutralizing somebody's weapon, but it is better, because it will be the truth that you need to hear, and agency over not the smallness of your limitations, but the actual span of your reach and your capability to help beyond wishing to be superhuman and hating yourself for not being that.

#if you are religious a lot of holidays at this tine of year are about miracles of smallness of survival of impossible odds and humble work #oil holding out for one more day and one more day and one more day #a slaughter of children and children of children but even two teenagers running away and escaping with an infant is a blessing #light scraping away at the hollow of darkness in winter and yule as the promise of having enough enough enough to survive and see the spring #it is not your duty tovsave the world. it is your duty to save yourself and to save the person next to you if you can.#and then another and then another.#solidarity is good. solidarity forever. but what do you have beyond ideals? who do you know? and who knows you?#log off of twitter and grow that. cultivate that.

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scatterbrainedbot · 11 months ago

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Awooga??? New Year new mutual???

👀👀👀

hi kredena!!!!

#<3333333 #NEW YEAR NEW MOOT #imma stack all of u like a dragons horde #and stand atop the pile #(im a puppet im light)#shout @ people passing by like #'COME FORTH AND WITNESS TREASURES BEYOND ANY MORTAL MEASURE'#'WORTH MORE THAN ALL THE GOLD IN A KINGS RANSOM OR ALL THE SALT IN THE SEA'#'BEHOLD!! MY FRIENDS!!!'#ask reply #fandom friends #yet another case of me being absolutely positive ive been following someone for forever #only for tumblr to be like hey! u should follow this person!!#and im just like 👁️👄👁️#also im super excited to see ur new sona!!

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good--merits-accumulated · 4 months ago

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i fear i am endlessly predictable (writing new dps au which is once again fantasy with Arthurian elements)

#it's an au of the dark is rising sequence by susan cooper #(which is to say it's based mostly off of over sea under stone and the dark is rising - with hints of the grey king running through)#and also to say that really i just wanted to write an homage to a very specific genre of british children's fantasy fiction #that i grew up reading voraciously + which shaped my proclivities and tastes for literature extensively. the little white horse au also #matched this but unfortunately that one is creeping towards the unfinished wips every day #not to get into an abundance of tags but this au revolves around: todd + charlie + meeks as kids and friends on holiday together #and going on a quest to find the grail. which gets sidetracked by keating (charlie's mysterious magical great-uncle) and also #todd gaining supernatural abilities far beyond those a thirteen-year-old boy can reckon with. rip. you know how it is #i think i was just really interested in the way cooper writes will stanton he has such a brilliant. canniness to him #which i suppose is the point after he becomes an old one. anyway! enough waffling in tags!#tristan writes #dps #dead poets society #dps fandom #dps fanfiction #dead poets society fanfiction #no anderperry because they're all kids so no romantic relationships per se (other than in that teenager way -#and also they have like. the world to save and evil to defeat lol)#but neil is here and supernatural and also fun to write. there's a certain cadence #and i like leaning into a more ominous side of him especially when he's so young in this au it's really funny #strangely ethereal looking thirteen-year-old child tells you in his prepubescent voice that the Dark shall reclaim the Light in a #fierce and savage hunt known to history but the likes of which the huntsman has never seen over rushing water.#and you just kind of have to sit there and deal with that #SORRY THESE TAGS GOT VERY LONG I REALLY LIKE THIS AU

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andrewhq · 3 months ago

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(i wanted to write a conversation g'raha would have with my wol that i might turn into a comic someday)

- G'raha enters Ziero's cabin in Tuliyollal, after some idle chatter, he pauses before speaking again. -

G'raha: You know, I realized after our conversation on the gondola, that I do not know much about... you. The current you. Most of what I know about you, I gathered from various pieces of your legacy. I don't think I've ever sat down with you and gotten to know you.

Ziero: Hah! Aw, it's very sweet that you're asking, but truly there isn't really that much to me than my legacy. Most of my life was... this.

G'raha: What do you... mean?

Ziero: Well, before I became the Warrior of Light, I was just a simple tailor, like one of my fathers also is for my tribe. And on top of that... I was a child. Even when I began adventuring. I just so happened to be in Thanalan when I ended up helping Brendt fend off his camp, and he suggested I should talk to the Adventurer's Guild because he just had this strong feeling I'd be able to help.

G'raha: Wait, wait. You were a child?

Ziero: Yes, I only turned eighteen less than two months before my tribe arrived in Thanalan!

G'raha: Like... Viera years' eighteen?

Ziero: There's no such thing! We mature about the same Hyurs, so...

G'raha: So that means you're...

Ziero: Twenty-one, now? Yeah!

G'raha: I thought you were so much older...

Ziero: I suppose constantly being at war and saving people ages you. I suppose if we're being technical about it, I'm twenty-three, given that I was close to turning twenty-one when you called me to the first, and I spent about a year there.

G'raha: That's still so... young.

Ziero: I suppose it is!

G'raha: Does it bother you? That you never really got to live your childhood until the end?

Ziero: Not really, no. Maybe if I was forced to do it, I'd mourn what I never got the chance to live, but instead I see it as living as the folklore hero people tell to impress children!

G'raha: I cannot fathom how you can stay positive so easily... Did nothing ever break you?

Ziero: Ah...

- He instinctively reaches for the eye under his eyepatch. -

Ziero: I... ought to be thankful for my parents being positive beacons in my life as well. I know it hurt them to know I was risking my life out there, and my mother never did hide the fact that she was worried for me, and neither of my fathers would let me go back adventuring until they were as certain as possible I wasn't hurt. But the three of them loved me so much, and cared for me so deeply, so I could always go to them when things were too much. But there was, ah... two times when I was completely inconsolable, I suppose.

G'raha: I do not intend to pry, so you do not have to answer, but I must ask what got you to that point?

- Ziero pauses for a long time, clenching his fists. -

Ziero: It... it was Zenos.

- G'raha's ears perk up. -

G'raha: Zenos? Did he—

Ziero: I loved him in a way that words could not describe.

- G'raha goes quiet. -

Ziero: I cannot deny the fact that we were always meant to be mirrors of each other. I always wanted to understand him, and I struggled with it for a bit, when someone just so happened to tell me his age... And I quickly realized just how similar we are. We were both children when we got roped into the war. Our differences were also our similarities. I grew up in a peaceful, loving family that was always there for me when I needed them, he grew up in a family that was disgusted with his very existence and only saw him as a weapon of war. And yet... we were both outsiders, fighting for causes that weren't our own, but we had enough motives to push through them.

G'raha: I had heard he was a cruel man...

Ziero: Funny how people say that, yet I could count on my fingers how many people Zenos actually harmed, because he never fought or killed anyone that couldn't stand a chance against him. Meanwhile, the blood on my hands is endless, from people who were much weaker than I. Is that not ironic?

G'raha: I... I suppose, when you put it that way... And yet the calamity—

Ziero: Was Fandaniel's plan. And I do not blame Zenos for following him. After being only seen as a beast, a dog that should be beat and put in a cage, do you truly think he would not resent the world? He truly thought he was being merciful, just like Meteion.

G'raha: I never thought of Meteion and Zenos as similar, and yet, based on what you told me in the past, it all makes so much sense... It's like we were being foreshadowed of her existence.

Ziero: Hah, pretty much. Still, I've made my point, so to actually answer your question: When Zenos killed himself, it ruined me. Not only did I feel like I failed him, but I felt like I failed myself as well. We had secretly spent a lot together, because I so desperately wanted to get to know him, to understand him. And he'd always let me in, sometimes with the promise of a spar, sometimes... because we were both lonely. I was such a mess in love, and there was that air of forbidden romance like in stories I'd hear around Kugane. Since my tribe decided to follow me to Othard, I'd never miss a chance to go speak with my parents and tell them all about this wild romance I was having. Truly, I felt the most like a hero back then. And yet when I lost Zenos, it crushed me beyond words. I cried for days in my mother's lap and did not speak to anyone else. I had to keep strong and let the Ala Mihgans celebrate their victories. I almost began to resent Lyse for being so... content with his death, but it was just misplaced grief.

G'raha: I can certainly empathize with that... Then, was the second time still Zenos, I assume?

Ziero: Yup. Though the second time was... a little bit different. I realize now, in retrospect, that I could have just denied him that fight, and he'd have to keep living. Yet I was so... selfish. I held on to that last bit of grief for him and ended up taking it out on the exact person I was grieving. I was angry when I found out he was still alive, it felt like everything he did was to mock me, but... No, it never was.

G'raha: I'm sorry... You must miss him greatly, then.

Ziero: Well, about that— I didn't actually... let him go... I hold his soul, you see. And I can always channel him as my avatar.

G'raha: You what?!

Ziero: Hahah, oops!

G'raha: Why didn't you tell anyone!

Ziero: I didn't want to put anyone in a panic, given how many people despise him. Plus, it'd be insane to explain either way. Zero knows, though. It was because of her that I managed to figure out how to make him my avatar, and she certainly got some enjoyment knowing how he would feel being bound to someone like that. And now you know too.

G'raha: I'm starting to become less surprised that you are as young as you claim to be.

Ziero: I'm not lying! I never even learned how to read!

G'raha: YOU NEVER LEARNED WHAT?!?!

#ffxiv #g'raha tia #warrior of light #zenos yae galvus #minor dawntrail spoilers #ziero is both a himbo and wise beyond his years #it's the azem braincell bounding in his brain and sometimes sticking #poor g'raha is in love with an impossible man #ziero never having a sad backstory and instead a loving and supportive family that not only loves him #but also every single one of his friends #and they'd protect them just as much as they'd protect him #it's clear that he got his hero complex from them #but it's also nice that his family is a safe space for everyone that's close to him #ziero posting

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