#Ben is dear to me

[pokemon1oadvanced]

I’m still hoping that Ben is going through his coming out story. And I really hope the person he confides in is Kenji (not just cause I ship it but cause Kenji is the only one who doesn’t know about the girlfriend). Like, I feel like he told Brooklyn before her (cough cough) death and he’s just not been able to tell anyone else.

Like imagine the gang finally get a moment of peace and they’re all just chatting and they bring up Ben’s girlfriend and start asking him all these questions and Kenji’s confused. Ben seems uncomfortable so he just awkwardly leaves and Sammy thinks he’s just shy but Kenji goes to check on him.

Ben’s just sitting by himself. Kenji quietly sits beside him. Ben sighing before he admits he doesn’t know why he lied, and talk through all his internal fears and things as Kenji listens to them all. Kenji doesn’t say anything, and just lets Ben get it all out. Once he’s done, Ben seems more relaxed and Kenji just smiles softly at him. They sit in silence for a little while before Kenji breaks it.

‘So, you have a boyfriend?’

‘Nah, all the guys at school think I’m weird.’

‘Cause you eat out of a boot?’

‘Darius told you?!’ Kenji laughs. Ben just looks at him with a blank glare before he softens up and laughs too.

‘Nah it was Sammy. Careful, she said she’s gonna have a chat with you about it.’ The two shiver at the thought. Sammy was scary.

[chanaleah]

photos from Ben Platt and Noah Galvin's Jewish wedding

[spam-eater]

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[livsmessydoodles]

am cooking up a little something for us benji shippers...... well...... the four of us that are still left at least!

[sleepandblog]

imagine hating me and i'm in my room listening to dear evan hansen

[bees-apis]

jwct spoiler!!

okayy so when darius was telling kenji about how he fell in love with brooklyn he said he didn’t even know he could feel this way. I may be looking too much into it but could he be assexual?aromantic?both? I really don’t know but I think that’s what they were trying to imply with that. and I think that was really nice, cause it was subtle but also really meaningful.

[hotmessmaxpress]

williams racing twitter // lotusmusings x // trista mateer x // acknowledgements, danez smith // two by sleeping at last // tender is not a bad word, k.c. cramm

[matamorose]

The decision in TP to drop any interaction between Audrey and Coop was a bad one. I think that their dynamic is a great way to refract a lot of the themes of the show, and it has a lot to do with TP’s multiple ways of viewing “good people.” (Something I’ve been stewing about for a while— hopefully soon I can articulate some of those thoughts)

Anyway,

Audrey is a great character, and it makes perfect sense for her to be intrigued by/attracted to a kind, handsome older man. She’s also badly neglected, and models the ways of gaining power + autonomy + attention that she sees in front of her, something that puts her in danger and is in no way a good thing. I get that all the characters’ ages/the timelines are fucked so there’s some ambiguous wiggle room, but she’s a kid. A very smart and resourceful one who wants to be the mysterious and competent adult that others see as a person, but still.

She wants Coop something fierce, and gets herself into intense peril pursuing that. She's tenacious and smart and badly damaged, and a teenage girl who's ignored + allowed to do whatever she wants, which is a very potent combination.

And Coop is textually attracted to her: I think that that’s very important to understanding a lot of his character, and ignoring it does a disservice to a lot of what the show is saying. MLMT does a lot of heavy lifting to explain and explore a history of childhood sexual misuse + hypersexuality with him, but even in just the show canon I think it’s very apparent and easy to understand that he’s grappling with his attitudes and attraction towards women, and especially with his own past and traumas.

The scene where Audrey surprises him naked in bed had the potential to be the fulcrum moment in their relationship, imo. Cooper is visibly wrestling with his attraction to her— something he knows and expresses aloud would be very wrong to act on— and Audrey is in an extremely fragile state, for all that she was trying to be assertive and take control in a relationship with an older man (a cop, even).

When Cooper lets her down gently and says that what she needs is a friend, that’s a very powerful moment. This is the “adult men sexually abuse young girls” show, but their relationship in particular has been set up to be interesting and alluring— I don’t think that people are nuts for picking up on the very intentional tension. It’s there, you’re supposed to see it.

So when Cooper says that she needs a friend, he makes the right choice, something that he doesn’t have a great track record of doing.

It’s a really powerful thing, that surrounded by all of these men who choose wrongly, and do wrong intentionally, Cooper is maybe the only adult man in Audrey’s life who makes the choice to respect and protect her, and that’s profoundly compelling. Like, I get it if someone wants to take that in another direction.

(There’s a more specific point to be made about Audrey’s father very nearly sexually assaulting her, and another, older man who is into her consciously deciding not to act on that, but I’ll toss it around and try to express it later)

You can debate it all day— which can be interesting and enriching— but for him to enter into a relationship with her would have been a clear, gross abuse of his power, and followed the pattern set by all of the other monstrous men in the show.

TP makes its stance on adult men sleeping with teenage girls crystal clear, there’s no way that they would have had their main character— morally iffy though he can be sometimes— go to bed with the teenage peer of a murder victim and then be like “awesome!” Cooper would be a very different man if he acted on it.

Which, I think is one of those moments where you as the viewer are supposed to look past the aesthetics and how pretty both adult actors are, the same way we all need to look past the quality of the coffee to understand what happened to Laura: a federal agent in his 30s who picks up a rural, neglected teenage lover in the wake of a grisly sex crime + said teenager’s father is a major player in the crime ring that allowed that to happen, is not a good man. That is a real-life horror that follows the framework of the show, and I think that part of the original intention was to leave that avenue open for later in the series, but more on that later.

All that being said, he absolutely thinks about it. He’s very tempted. That’s something that I feel like a lot of people don’t want to admit, but he’s explicitly attracted to her. It’s a testament to his character, and an interesting mirror to his ultimate failure of courage, that he, mister "Give Yourself a Present," was able to recognize a desire as harmful and squash it.

He’s less interesting if you just wave your hand and say “oh, he never even thought about it!” He did. He totally thought about it, he considered it, and wrestled with it, and ultimately came out on top. That’s infinitely more interesting— and IMO fits in better with the backstory established for him— than the idea that he’s just too morally pure and untouchable.

Even so, he elects not to do something that will harm her, and chooses to be her friend instead, something that she badly needs. That scene easily could have transitioned them from a very unequal “will-she-won’t-he” to a friendship that would benefit both of them, and give the characters some more room to flex + explore the facets of their similarities/their links to Laura and what they share with her.

Cooper sees Audrey, instead of blindly buying into her adolescent facade, or just looking past her. Even many of the angles their scenes are shot with reinforce that. He doesn’t ignore her.

I think that all of that goes into making their relationship extremely compelling, and, in my opinion, totally dropping that relationship after a point was just shitty writing. The whole weight of his choice to be her friend and to do right by her + her choice to accept that disappears when the show just truncates that entire plot line and dynamic. She needed that friend, needed and accepted what he was willing to offer her! Not to get shuffled off to the side and into a somewhat baffling plot line

(And if the show had gone on longer, or gone a different direction, I think that that would have been the avenue they chose to hammer in to viewers that as sexy as it sounded to a teenager, this is a bad thing, and that Coop was letting hangovers from past trauma/abuse get the better of him— something that is also very thematically appropriate. In a S3 that never was, I think it’s likely that possessed Coop/his doppelgänger/whatever direction they would have gone in the 90s would have attacked or initiated a relationship with her. TPTR alludes to this, I think, with Mr. C’s fathering Richard.)

I understand that there were tensions on set, and actors/execs had very strong opinions, but I do think that the “okay ew that’s over now” way that the show chops off a major undercurrent is badly done, and that the show is poorer for it.

Anyway, that relationship is one that really bugs me in how it developed in the show. Let me be clear that this is absolutely not an anti-ship post: do as thou wilt, have fun whatever I’m not here to pick a fight, and I really don’t care what other people ship. What strangers want to do with two fictional characters isn’t really my business.

But I don’t think that people are making something out of nothing, there, even if I have a much different stance on it. I think I’ve made my opinion of that relationship as romantic pretty clear at this point, but I have eyes and understand when you’re supposed to pick up on tension between characters.

I think that many people try far too hard to pretend that something very explicitly onscreen isn’t there, because they don’t want to wrestle with the thornier parts of it. (For a show that centers around a child being raped and murdered by her father, a great many watchers get surprisingly precious about unpleasant or even gray subjects, it seems to me.)

But I think it’s a shame that one of the most interesting relationships in the show got cut off so severely, and it’s really interesting to think of how they might have followed through on the punch, had there been fewer disasters surrounding the series.

I went on a little longer than I meant to about the idea of the pair of them as a romantic item, and that’s not the major point of this. Really, it’s that I think both characters lost out on that could have developed into something really compelling, because the bones were there. The setup was very strong, and the scene I talked about above absolutely could have transitioned those two into something, anything, more narratively satisfying and interesting than what we got.

I really like both of them, and I think that there’s a tendency to swing wildly one way or the other with Audrey. She’s much more nuanced than I think a lot of people give her credit for (which in fairness is something that afflicts basically all of the teenage characters, not to mention dear Dale), and there’s a place to think about her in-between outright fetishism a la coquette blogs, and pretending like she has no agency or desire/that her neglect has no impact on what she wants and how badly she’s willing to fight to get it.

She’s a major character in the show for a while, and I don’t like it that A) her character gets sidelined so abruptly B) many people in fandom go out of their way to minimize her role in the story. She’s not even one of my big favorites, I just think that she gets a raw deal.

My favorite thing about the show is the deep and knotted relationships, and I think that there was a warm-up swing and a really big miss with this one.

[sinclairstarz]

i cannot make a serious byler edit to save my life theyre just too silly

[l-e-i-k-o]

𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓮 𝓼𝓲𝓶 𝓰𝓪𝓵𝓸𝓻𝓮

[laurrelise]

i just stumbled upon a video of myself when i was doing my makeup on my birthday and i was watching the very end of the umbrella academy s1 to the very beginning of s2 and i can firmly say with 100% certainty that i still get just as excited as i was when i first watched the opening scene to s2e1

[malevolententity]

Staring at you with my big eyes

(I know nothing about vtm aside from the suckening but it really interests me and I'd love to hear about about edward and the vampire micro politics)

HELLO!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!! WELCOME TO VAMPIRE POLITICS 101 EDWARD TWILIGHT IS SO SO FASCINATING TO ME and i have no idea if charlie did any of it on purpose because i dont know if he actually looked that deep into the politics of vtm to plan for any of this.

how do i start this. youre getting an essay. dear lord this is going under a cut. because i gotta explain the normal politics before i can get into why edward politics is so fun for me personally.

everything below comes with a massive banner of context that i have been obsessed with vtm for a literal 13 years. so i have a lot of opinions on how stuff can be explained mechanics and lore wise. that charlie might not agree with and/or might not have been intending the read to be because we are two different storytellers.

SO in world of darkness (the book setting) there are three main political parties. there are the Camarilla which are traditionalists who created the rules of the masquerade and they want kindred society to be united and for there to be a hierarchy. this is the governing body that charlie has implemented and plays around with. then there are Anarchs who obey the general masquerade because they recognize its usefulness but they do not believe in a true hierarchy and bending the knee to The Prince of a city. and then theres the Sabbat who think the masquerade is stupid and think that kindred should live openly and blatantly rule over humans.

charlies camarilla is so interesting from the get go because queens are not a thing. thats a charlie thing. so were already off to a fun micro politics of what the fuck? hey charlie? is The Queen part of the inner circle and the head of the camarilla of the entire world? and you just invented a title? bro? because why would she as just prince of LA be called queen? female princes are still princes. so i work under the assumption that she is part of the main governing body for the entire world camarilla not just LA. because normal princes live in their cities. if she lives in fucking romania in umber castle shes not just a normal prince.

so within the camarilla theres a bunch of jobs but the main ones charlie plays with is primogen, sheriff, and prince. and he does a decent job at explaining them. primogen are voices of their clan. they are the most powerful person in the clan in a given city and serve to represent the needs of the clan within the camarilla. not every clan gets a primogen as it depends on if theres enough camarilla kindred in that clan to warrant needing a primogen. the sheriff is the front facing enforcer of the rules. who is elected by the primogen and prince together. and then the prince is The Prince. they are like a dictator mayor. they are the one who creates and expands the masquerade rules of the city to make sure that mortals do not become aware of vampires. princes are typically not elected; they come about from coups or if the old one wants to abdicate they endorse/instate a new prince.

theres also keepers, harpys, scourges, seneschals, heralds, archons, and justicars. but explaining those does not help with my why edward is fascinating so i can go into those a different time. also because we only have maybe two examples of those within suckening.

SO IN ANARCHS which charlie never brings up to my memory theres a lot less official titles! you have the Barons which function similarly to a prince but they will kill you if you say that; hate princes with a passion. cities depending on their size will have a number of barons who control neighborhoods/sections of the city. they all work together but compete with each other to maintain their footholds in the city and to resist the princes rule. and then the other main one is Proctors who just keep tabs on whos in the territory and doing what. which can function as mini sheriffs. 

so using LA as an example edward rules over the entire city but unless he killed all the anarchs in the city the specific territory of santa monica has a baron who also imposes rules on the kindred of that specific territory.

and then we have the Sabbat who charlie also never brings up. who also have their own chain of command in cities but also the world at large! the most important titles here for this talk are Bishop and Archbishop. a Bishop is going to be akin to a primogen it is a title that is given to a powerful kindred who then leads a large group of sabbat within a section of the city. bishops answer to archbishops. and an Archbishop is akin to a prince. they are the sabbat ruler of an entire city. every sabbat within that city ultimately answers to them.

a big thing with the Sabbat sect as a whole is they do not care about the masquerade. they commit mass masquerade breaches be it mass turning events or just having them run around in the wild doing whatever not caring if kine see a vampire using their powers or feeding.

Edward Twilight is a serial masquerade breacher. like theres no way around it. like yes he is a toreador so he is going to want and demand the attention of everyone. but theres a line. and one of those lines is mass ghouling an entire city and making a large portion of the mortals in your city look like you. that is an insane massive breach that is going to get the inquisition/grimslayers to raid your city because thats not normal. that is a massive red flag that vampires are there. that is a thing that only sabbat would do.

because even with charlies camarilla being his own spin on it and not 100% by the book. i can not bring myself to accept that a genuine camarilla member would pull the shit edward does. like it does not make sense to me. and thats slightly compounded by the fact that camarilla traditionally; even the toreadors; want to stay hidden. they do not like mortals knowing vampires exist they LOATHE cellphones because cellphones put a camera in everyones pocket and is the easiest way to make the entire world aware of your existence and status as a monster. and then your meet your final death when the city gets raided. camarilla toreadors chase fame and beauty but theres still a line ya know.

a sabbat on the other hand? loves a cellphone. doesn't give a shit if the world is aware of them because being known isnt a threat, its the goal. it is the goal to have humans aware that vampires are real and you can be one or to serve one.

so with all that said. i genuinely believe that Edward Twilight is an Archbishop of the Sabbat who has been playing the longcon with the Camarilla. because he is involved in the camarilla, theres no denying that. he has underlings that are clearly real camarilla and work in camarilla terms and conditions. but all of his goals that we know about just scream sabbat to me. he has been vying  for the prince position trying to get that endorsement from shilo to further legitimize himself and his hold on the city, that is a fact. but the amount and types of breaches he commits are the kind no right minded camarilla would commit and he does not have an affliction that drives him to madness. so to me he comes off as a sabbat agent trying to destabilize the cams.

theres also the factor of viv and vex. traditionally in VTM, clans are predisposed to certain political sects, with special cases made for individual vampires. in lore this is because the different sects will consider entire clans just a walking masquerade breach that they don’t want to deal with. so having them be a part of the sect is rare and special. now every storyteller handles this differently some are rigid by the book and some just do what fits best for the story they want to tell. charlie ran this in v20 and by v20 lore tzimisce are purely sabbat because they are an inherent breach. they are a clan who makes weird meatball creatures and turn themselves into literal flesh monster that barely look human. and in v5 tzimisce as a whole are welcome to anarchs but only individually welcome to camarilla. charlie mixes a bit of v20 and v5 because he read them both and touchstones are a thing so we know he pulled some v5 things. but with the shit viv and vex do i just find it hard to believe theyre genuine cam who respect the masquerade. those are edwards fellow weird little sabbat guys who are helping him destabilize and take over. they made edward sexy. they are the ones performing the procedures to turn ghouls and bloodbonded vampires alike into edward clones. that is the most sabbat ass shit ive ever heard of besides mass turning events and weird meatball snuff films

edward twilight is fascinating to me regardless of if m right. because knowing charlie and his love of bits and “well wouldn’t that be silly” it is likely that edward to him is just a genuine camarilla toreador primogen who climbed the ladder and his version of the camarilla are a little more lax in some regards. or because of the bloodbonding the other primogen and deacon won’t go against edward and his mass breaches.

but for me it is so much more interesting to think of edward as an archbishop who decided to infiltrate the camarilla god knows how long ago to become a prince and then probably climb up even higher into the Inner Circle because literally too many details line up and point at that being a possibility for me to ignore as coincidence.

because we do know that this campaign was supposed to be about the political climb until they all started playing and charlie realized that the boys ended up being more interested in the relationships and personal mysteries than an actual political power struggle against each other campaign. so i KNOW he had to do some amount of research into the camarilla i just dont know how far into the other sects that research went to have him genuinely on purpose make edward a sabbat.

and i cant wait for season 2 to drop eventually so i can learn if i put in waaaay too much thought into all this because i know too much about this system. or if charlie actually did an insane amount of research on vtm politics and i picked up on clues that are genuinely there LOL

i really hope this made sense and you enjoyed it! it’s like 4 pages long and if theres anything in here that needs clarifying i will gladly talk even more or explain other things within vtm because this is my favorite system and i do Not know how to be normal about it :D 

[ppeonppeonhan]

Best 2023 BL Side Couples

Every now and then the side couple steals the show, and you find yourself tuning in for the 2 minutes they get per episode versus the actual plot. Here are my faves of the year:

Moonlight Chicken: Li Ming ❤️ Heart

While this series may not have made my top 10 this year, this couple did. I'm a sucker for "irresponsible person learns how to be responsible through acts of love for someone who is physically impaired" story lines. (See also Last Twilight.) So every sweet gesture that rebellious Li Ming made to make deaf Heart's life more joyful and inclusive, including learning how to sign, made whatever was going on between the lead characters, Jim and Wen, an afterthought.

Kiseki: Dear to Me: Ai Di ❤️ Chen Yi

I love when the smitten one gives up riiiight before their crush is like Oh wait, I like you too! Theory of Love is another example of this, but KDTM did it better. You never really grew to hate Chen Yi, and understood why it took so long for him to see Ai Di as more than a friend. Baby boy was not really giving off crush vibes. More like in desperate need of therapy vibes. Thankfully, Chen Yi was immune to Ai Di's hostility, proving he was his perfect match.

Never Let Me Go: Ben ❤️ Chopper

There was so much going on in this drama that this pairing barely got enough screen time, and yet by the end of the series, I was daydreaming about them moving abroad together and living happily ever after. Loving the Chimon x Perth era. Hope to see more of it.

Unintentional Love Story: Kim Dong Hee ❤️ Go Ho Tae

I actually found the main pairing a tad meh, and was far more interested in the childhood bffs turned strangers subplot. I mean, the minute Ho Tae attempted to learn Spanish to impress Dong Hee, who fantasized about having a Spanish lover, I was hooked. I could watch an entire spinoff of these two with flashbacks to their youth and how their bond originally formed.

Who were your faves?

[jeffthekillerzblog]

jeff and ben act like those annoying highschool "straight" boys who act all gay and stuff with each other u cannot tell me im wrong

[nadiajustbe]

After months of running away, objecting and arguing with his brother, Prince Justin finally marriess Beatrice of Strangia. And it's... not bad, definitely: the weeding was big, rich and loud, made for four people, marrying at the same day. Beatrice herself is a great, a strong-willed person who knows how to dab socks and manage the country.

He can't tell anything here is objectively wrong: on the contrary, every single detail, from the number of candlesticks arranged in an even circle on the chandeliers, to the color scheme of the napkins and the distribution of seats at the huge tables, semeed horrendously perfect. People approach him, glowing with the wide smiles on their faces, sharing their remorse that the Royal Wizard — as If they thought it would be great to remind him about this miserable fact, or somehow guessed he wasn't keeping it in mind himself — can't come to see his dear friend on such a important day of his life.

For fully unknown reason, Justin almost finds the fact that he isn't there a good coincidence, at least a little bit, walking around a huge decorated hall, so full of music and voices he can't quite hear his own steps. Royals and commoners of all wise and statutes are eager to shake his hand, tipping a glass or two of wine with him.

But aside of that, things go pretty smooth. His own brother is smiling at him, almost as If they never argued about anything in their lifes, proud and clear. Prince Justin finally found a place of patience, stopped running around his problems, throw yourself into the flames of a chaos, burn himself with their tongues, without considering the consequences. He became what they all called, "a model prince", in the end of the day.

And, watching at all they do, and hearing all they say, Price Justin thought that they may be right. That the feeling of tingling uneasiness will ease with time, earning itself, that he'll find the way of ruling, the way of earning trust and respect hundreds of times larger than the one he has. There's nothing that tragic in leaving your own country forever, when you're an adult general with important issues on your mind? Justin thought he could handle it.

It lasted for about a week. Even less, if Justin had to be honest, counting days, unsure whether the whole week has passed yet. Less than a week of time, stretching and testing him, ticking with the hands of the clock. Less than a week of missing his small garden outside of the castle, where cats would climb on trees and water would rush through small, calming stream. Less than a week of missing Valeria's scribbles, silly painting on wich Justin was almost always shown somewhere at the top of the paper and childish, mischievous laughter.

Less than a week of one particular name jumping on the tip of his tongue, showing up in his own thoughts, appearing before his eyes everytime mighty mountains cleared the path into the Ingarian fields, somewhere in the distance.

There's nothing wrong in the feeling of loosing something so dear to you tearing you up, he reasoned. Most accordingly, his own reasoning had much more swearing, army slang and vague wording within it, but it sounded close to that.

And there's definitely, absolutely nothing wrong in being so eager to see your friend, whom you are not sure you will ever meet again. No matter how often your last meeting — brief, sore and painfully quick, accompanied with with the impatient clatter of horse hooves and the order to move forward — flashes in his own memory, keeping him awake at night.

There were simply so many things to tell, and so little time in which saying them had at least some sense.

And the irony is, Justin didn't even know, what exactly those words were supposed to be.

He looked up at the celling of his hew home, trimmed with gold, while Princess Beatrice was moving a little uneasily by his side, having long since fallen asleep.

The other disadvantage of marriage turned out to be sharing a room with another person. Justin didn't want to wake her up, nor bother her the nonexistent problems, seeping through his fingers like sand.

Still, he was at the right place. He had to be at the right place. He was a Prince with a powerful Princess by his side, wounded in worthy amount of battles, getting his long-earned rest. That's what every fairy tale says: happily ever after comes after Prince finds his courage to find a Princess, and they face not a single problem after that, filled with joy. There's a reason they never show married life in this books, If you squint.

Except, it didn't feel right. Nothing, written in ink, engraved on the paper, felt right. The walls gave off a ghostly coldness, the curtains swayed in the wind in rather strange way, the halls drowned those present with its grandeur, completely different from the one he knew. Even the selling — higher power knew how much he wanted to close his eyes just not to look at it — looked even more distant than the one they had in the library, mirroring his reflection.

Here it goes again.

He liked Ben. He liked him a bit too much for his own well-being, or at least that's what his brother had been telling him. And his brother was a big fan of reminding Justin of all the wrongs in his life.

According to him, there were a lot. According to him, more than a half of them led to the Royal Wizard.

Not like he cared. Of course, screw the rules, let your own worries consume you, let your legs take you whenever they want to go, let the darkness eat you alive, let it decide what are you made up from.

His brother could scream at him all he wanted. That's wouldn't have changed anything. Justin knew there were things and people worth fighting for.

It didn't matter, now that he was away. That's not something a model prince should be thinking about, but it was certainly something Justin couldn't help but think about despite this new status.

Everything returned to Ben, in the end. As If it was a cycle.

To than strangely big amount of moments they didn't get to share, to occasional smiles and words in a language he could never quite make out. To the days when his friend couldn't even understand what he himself was saying, looking fascinated by every thing that met his eye, asking unusually basic questions. To quiet melodies, created by the strumming of the guitar strings, which he always deeply, unreasonably cherished. To that too peaceful ideas — he told him the only thing that could stop the Witch of the Waste was well-armed army, and certainly not a planting of fields, but Ben always clang to more idealistic ideas than Justin did.

Every thingle moment, unwillingly running across the celling — as If Justin's own image wasn't really his — collected a cluster of such a strange, pulling sensation somewhere under the side, that he wanted to punch something. Or hit it with a sword.

Shit.

His vast, colourful vocabulary had no substitute for this particular word.

If he's gonna stay here for a second longer, no damn princess will save him from what he's about to do.

Justin doesn't really remember how exactly he got out of bed, leaving a disheveled blanket on the mattress, the floorboards creaked somewhat under his weight.

Gathering his things into a small cloth knot, moving as quietly as possible so as not to wake Beatrice or anyone else important enough in the castle, Justin quickly glanced at the clock on the wall.

There was a brief conclusion, made on a rush of his mind, the same way every of his questionable, unbearably harsh ideas, that never led to anything remotely sane or logical: he held the status of a model Prince for about a dozens decades less than he was supposed to do so.

Yes, definitely less than a week.

Justin didn't give himself benefit of the doubt. Whatever the hell will be going on there after he does what he does is not his problem.

He was never supposed to be a King of this country. He's more of a solider. A general. A dog, a servant, an inpatient mysterious costumer gone to buy spells. That felt right.

The curtains had stopped waving, freezing in a slippery, eerie moment. Justin could swear the sound of water droplets hitting the metal supports of the balcony began to reach his ears. A thread of chill stretched through the crack in the window, making its way into the room, right under the sleepwear.

The dim glow of the candles cast shadows across the corridors, echoed by the heavy boots of guards and servants.

He couldn't get straight through the main exit. As if his situation wasn't a total crap without this fact.

The cold was getting on Justin's nerves as he opened the window wider, hastily pulling on a green coat and rough shoes. Tons of fighting about saving his "unacceptable" clothes definitely paid themselves off.

Justin looked down, gripping the handle of a huge, door-like window tighter with his fingers. Only a couple of meters, no more that two floor — no thing that a proper army man couldn't handle.

He jumped onto the balcony, grabbing the handrail with one swift movement. He took one last, quick glance around the room before turning his back to it.

Beatrice continued to dream, almost motionless now, like had never known any strong worry. Raindrops, from that moment large and unpleasant, flew into the room, blowing out the lights of the candlesticks with the howl of the wind, that was treacherous enough to start picking up again now.

The flame went out. Justin closed the window.

He jumped over the partition, holding on to the small connecting bars.

It was very stupid. Very unclear. But there was no difficulty in crossing the mountains of Strangia, even on foot. Justin did much harder things. No matter how majestic the borders were, they could hardly compare to the fearless dryness of the Waste.

He knew where he was going. Of all the houses that had ever been in his native country, he knew exactly which door to knock on. And Ben might laugh at him for it — he would have every bloody right to burst into pure mockery — and at the same time he would not mind in any way. He liked Ben, no matter what it meant.

Justin jumped off the balcony, landing nimbly on the ground.

He was going home.

[bengiyo]

Kiseki: Dear to Me Ep 12 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Bai Zong Yi ran the emotional gauntlet of consideration for whether he wanted to be with Fan Zhe Rui and told everyone who challenged him that he only wanted Zhe Rui. They finally reunited in a very tasteful bed scene. Chen Yi attempted to flirt with Ai Di via gifts (unsuccessful) and we left at a knife being put to his throat.

Thank you, ladies, for expositing about the strawberry day for Zhe Rui.

Yes, give your man what he wants: a reliable handgun and a short-barrel shotgun.

Chen Yi in this prison flashback like:

I love Papa Bai so much. The regard he has for his son is incredible.

The rituals between Ai Di and Chen Yi I swear.

I was expecting a whole lot more drama before Chen Yi confessed. The birthday cake montage was really good.

Is this girl still mad about high school? He went to prison! Move the fuck on!

Hot damn, it's the Plus & Minus boys!

Ai Di looks so much more lacked after finally getting dicked down.

GUN! Now who the fuck was that?? Was it that girl?!

Oh, this show. The actors continue to work so well together, and there's an emotional core to every interaction that rings true even if some of the surrounding circumstances are hard to follow.