#Being upset isn't going to change anything
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forthegothicheroine · 10 hours ago
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I don't know if you do requests for the Great Detectives, but I'd love to see how you think the Great Detectives would handle the murder of King Hamlet of Denmark.
This is a GREAT one! The big question is whether they all talk to the ghost of the dead king; I think I'm going to have to take that on a case-by-case basis, with whatever feels right for any specific detective.
So, in a series I do sometimes, how would various great detectives solve the murder of King Hamlet...
Sherlock Holmes: Well, obviously ghosts don't exist, so jot that down. But in Holmes's experience, living humans often pretend to be ghosts (or even make dogs pretend to be ghosts!) so who could this be? The young prince Hamlet, who everybody says has gone mad? Holmes deduces that he isn't mad at all, and is in fact conducting psychological warfare against his hated uncle; while Holmes disapproves, he concludes that the boy is completely right about Claudius due to his knowledge of the play The Murder of Gonzago, as seen when he's upset about changes in a production. The Murder of Gonzago is a play which premiered in a town in Denmark known for its manufacturing of poisons for pest control!
Hercule Poirot: Poirot is quite sad to hear that the monarch who invited him as a celebrity guest has died; why does this always have to happen when he goes on vacation? Polonius spies on the guy to see what he's up to, but Poirot is much better at snooping on people than he is, and nobody can keep anything hidden for very long. He gives a summation where he reveals Claudius killed his brother. Prince Hamlet immediately goes to attack his uncle and they struggle over a sword. King Claudius falls dead and Poirot bows out, because determining whether Hamlet should suffer consequences or just become king is not his department.
Sam and Peter: Hear me out- if we bump Hamlet down from ambiguously college-aged to ambiguously high school aged, we can replace Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. These two nerdy kids are shipped in to cheer their friend (more like acquaintance) Hamlet up, and to his surprise, they respond to his depressing monologues by taking notes and asking for further details on why the world is so corrupt. Hamlet isn't so happy about them doing an investigation into "What is up with Hamlet's super hot mom?" but when they suggest interviewing Claudius to see if he has the face of a liar, he enlists them to help out with putting on The Murder of Gonzago. The rest of the play mostly goes the same, but they find the letter Claudius planted on them and show it to Hamlet. One of the last lines of the play is when Fortinbras is looking at everyone lying dead, but then Osric points out "Sam and Peter are alive!"
Phryne Fisher: Phryne is a dubious (if genteel) woman Laertes has taken up with, whom Polonius is doing everything in his power to drive away. Phryne doesn't care, but it does bring her attention to the fact that the man is apparently constantly spying on everyone in the castle. On whose behalf is he doing this? King Claudius? Is he afraid someone may assassinate him because of his brother's suspicious death? What was the official story about that, anyway? She exchanges sexy insults with Prince Hamlet, refusing to be cowed, and ultimately agrees to play the queen in his production of The Murder of Gonzago (where she gets a little too into the love scene.) When she turns and looks directly in Claudius's eye in the audience during a crucial line, she can see the answer to everything. Claudius tries to convince Laertes to kill her, saying she corrupted Ophelia into being a whore for a mad prince, but Laertes can't go through with it and kills Claudius instead.
Dale Cooper: King Hamlet's ghost tells him who killed him in a dream, but Cooper doesn't remember. He befriends Horatio and tells him that in order to understand the death of the king, it is crucial for them to study an old Icelanic poem about a man who feigns madness, because the answer to the mystery lies somewhere within. Horatio doesn't totally get it, but he figures Cooper must know what he's doing and goes along with it. When everyone is gathered to watch a production of The Murder of Gonzago, Cooper first steps up onto the stage, guided by a spirit in the form of a snake wearing a crown, to announce that King Claudius killed his brother. Prince Hamlet immediately stabs his uncle. Determining whether Hamlet should suffer consequences or just become king is not Cooper's department.
Philip Marlowe: All I know is, most of this mystery involves him getting thrown off the palace grounds repeatedly and being told that a bum like him better keep away from King Claudius if he knows what's good for him. If he ever gets out of Denmark alive, Marlowe thinks to himself, he's never leaving LA during the winter ever again.
Sam Vimes: Vimes can actually interview the ghost, but that doesn't mean the case is closed. He's not worried about the ghost actually being a deceitful fiend, he just thinks there's a possibility he's wrong. After all, if Vimes was poisoned and his ghost found out some creepy relative immediately married his wife and took his job, he would also jump to conclusions! He spends a lot of time yelling at royal people and getting threatened with execution (Vimes doesn't know how his job ended up involving so many clashes with royalty, but so it goes), and is disrespectful of religion enough to spy on Claudius while he's having his remorseful confession. He can't arrest him, but he spreads the word around, and as the royal court dissolves into backstabbing and finger-pointing, Vetinari walks in with a full retinue (and more importantly, a list of all the debts Denmark owes to Ankh-Morpork) to evaluate the situation and congratulate Claudius on his "excellent decision" to abdicate. Claudius later dies of a totally natural snake bite in his ear.
Columbo:
Your Majesty, King Claudius, forgive My clumsy common nature. I am not A noble gentleman, nor do I live With such great honor as yourself- a thought, However, troubles me this night. For how Should some strange serpent come to bite a king? And why within his ear? It puzzles! Now, I beg that I may ask just one more thing…
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abominable-space-they · 3 days ago
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A OnePiece (LuLaw ZoSan NamVi end game) Au in which the Strawhats all start out on other crews
Zoro is a Buggy Lieutenant, Nami, Vivi, & Usopp have a crew of grifters & pick pockets, Sanji & Law grew up together & are both Donquixote Lieutenants.
Luffy was raised by Crocodile & shares Baroque Works 2nd in command w/ Robin. They're code named the Gemini Twins. No one knows if they're actually twins or even really siblings.
They don't know if they're siblings either, Crocodile gets extremely evasive anytime the subject of who Robin's biological father might have been. She only knows he was a higher up in the revolutionary army.
Luffy grew up believing in both his dads' visions for a 🌈 utopia until Alabasta falls. Finding out Crocodile doesn't want freedom for everyone, but to lead a world he thinks is perfect for him, that Dragon lied about Sabo being dead, that neither of them had really been doing much revolution for all these decades. It was the final straw for Luffy.
By the end of the Alabasta arc he's not mad at his dads exactly, just disappointed.
He was raised to believe in something they're not even really actually living.
Realizing his dad's dreams aren't his own, is a turning point for Luffy. He realizes it's time for him to strike out on his own. So leaves Baroque Works determined to figure out and pursue his own dream.
Robin goes with him bc she's intrigued by his determination before he even knows what he does believe in, what he wants his dream to be. Neither of them were raised to believe in their own dreams, only their parents'.
She thought it would be interesting to see what Luffy would do with his new found freedom & this unrelenting faith he had in himself and the people he chose.
And if it turned out that it was feasible to pursue their own dreams... well she had a few secret wishes of her own. She could be convinced to believe... maybe.
The first place Luffy goes in figuring out what his dream is, is to visit uncles. Mishuggy did a lot of raising him & they're the first ppl that come to mind when he thinks of dreams.
While they visit Shanks gets his dad's hat out of storage and gives it to Luffy. He tells Luffy that that's for dreamers. Luffy swears he'll cherish it, honor it by finding his own dream.
Luffy & Zoro immediately hit it off. Zoro isn't unhappy in Buggy's crew.
Buggy found him when he was lost. Buggy never judged him, taught him about the power of dreams & belonging. But Zoro's never had his own dreams either, only Kuina's, only Buggy's.
Meeting Luffy is life changing. Zoro doesn't really know what his own dream might be yet and he's still determined to become the greatest swordsman in the world, but he's curious about the possibility of his own dreams.
The potential seems important.
Zoro & Luffy make a pact to find their own dreams together. Luffy doesn't know he wants to be Pirate king yet but he believes in himself, he believes in them.
They find Usopp in some no name village on a no account island.
Luffy immediately adores him & his stories, calls him family when he finds out he's Yasopp's son.
He invites Usopp to travel with them for awhile. Usopp accepts.
3 Islands & some hijinks later, Nami confronts them. Luffy was supposed to be their crew's mark but Usopp couldn't go through with it by the time they got where they were going. He'd been dodging her for two Islands, unsure what to do.
Usopp has always been so full of dreams. He wants to believe, he wants to find his own most important dreams too.
Luffy isn't upset they were gonna steal from him. He thinks it's pretty funny actually. He hadn't had anything to steal since he left Baroque Works. He invites their whole crew to travel with them to find their own dreams 2gther
Besides Nami, Usopp, and Vivi, their crew consists of Bepo, Penguin, Shachi, Chopper, Carrot, & Franky.
They'd been targeting Robin & Luffy, for Vivi, because they thought they were still Baroque Works. The fact that they'd both left... specifically because of what Baroque Works, what Crocodile did to Alabasta, changed things... though Nami and Vivi weren't sure exactly how yet
Nami scofffs at the idea of traveling with two ex Baroque Works agents and some grumpy green haired freak from the clown crew. She didn't believe in anything... definitely not redemption... well she hadn't before she met Vivi anyway.
Usopp knows Nami though , they've been best friends since she accidentally helped him trick The Black Cat Pirate Captain into exposing himself to the whole of Syrup village and leaving in disgrace.
It turned out there was power in the right story told at the the right time.
So Usopp knows Nami, maybe better then he knows himself. Though contradicting her makes him cringe, he can't help himself.
"Nami!!! You're just scared he'll convince you too! It's not that easy to betrayLuffy !!"
Nami scofffs at that too but ultimately let's her pride convince her to agree
Just to prove Usopp wrong of course
... and to make sure Luffy and Robin really are reformed (and broke)
Sanji is the Donquixote warlord style ambassador to Iva's Revolutionary Queens, so he's kinda dual enrolled.
He's a Donquixote Lieutenant but he spends half his time working with Iva & the Queens. His knowledge of statecraft, the celestial dragons, & world royal families, make Mr Princess almost indispensable to them.
Sanji is enthralled by Luffy's determination to find his own dream... & maybe maybe Zoro a little too. He knows there's always been someone else he's supposed to be besides a apy. When Luffy finds out Sanji cooks, loves to cook, misses cooking, he loses his mind with excitement, asks if Sanji would cook for him. Sanji's shy about it at first, he hasn't cooked for anyone but Law & Cora for years & those two... well getting them to eat anything was a chore. Much less anything new or experimental.
But Sanji's a master chef & Luffy loves to eat. He needn't have worried.
Iva encourages him to go find himself & his own dream. Iva promises to handle Doflamingo so he wouldn't have The Donquixote Brothers outraged over his leaving.
Sanji joins them on their travels. Luffy is delighted to have a chef on staff... and Zoro... well Zoro would never admit it out loud but he thinks he might have met his match in Sanji. Sparring with him is one of the most exciting things he's experienced since the first time he picked up a sword, since the first time he put Wado between his teeth.
All he ever wants to do is fight with Sanji, Sanji is more then happy to oblige him.
They argue constantly, neither of them have ever been happier.
The Strawhats meet Law later, they're getting notorious in their own right by nos. While they're not out for blood, Law was sent to collect his wayward blood brother and bring him back home.
Doffy doesn't like feeling left behind. It makes him extra twitchy.
Of course Luffy convinces Law to travel with them too, while he's finding his own dream.
Law swears he's doing it against his will... at first, just to convince Sanji to come back home so he doesn't have to listen to Doffy's theatrics for months.
As they travel looking for their own dreams, Luffy gets increasingly frustrated with how many of their new friends aren't free to pursue their dreams either. Frustrated that children aren't allowed to grow into the people they want to be, that so many people in the world are to busy trying to survive, to have the luxury of really living.
Law cynically tells Luffy that no one's free to pursue their own dreams. His whole pursuit is naive. He should give up
(secretly Law hopes he never does)
Law, frowning: The only person who's completely free in this world is the king of the pirates. So unless you're planning on becoming the king of the pirates, you're out of luck.
Luffy, smiling so wide, he looks like he could eat the world in one satisfied bite: That's it Torao. I'M GONNA BE THE KING OF THE PIRATES!
Law isn't used to believing in things, but being around Luffy these last months has been changing him. Amazingly enough he believes Luffy... he believes in him.
Under his fluffy hat Trafalgar Law smiles a small secret smile. The pirate king, what a ridiculous dream. If it was anyone else he would laugh... But Luffy might actually be able to pull it off.
Law: pirate king huh? Well show me what you're made of Strawhat ya, make me a believer.
And oh yes, Luffy would. He made everyone a believer eventually. He could convince Trafalgar Law to believe in him.
That was just who Luffy was...
The future king of the pirates
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figurantedefilme · 21 hours ago
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— boyfriend!sam winchester headcanons.
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pairing: sam winchester x gn!reader
summary: how sam would act if he were your boyfriend.
cw: friends to lovers, some details of romantic relationships, brief mentions of fighting, but lots of cuteness. poorly edited.
a/n: hiiii, so, these are some of my hcs of how sam would be dating his best friend ;)) these headcanons were very inspired by some of my favorite writers!! english isn't my first language. enjoy it ♡
— send me a request!! <3
▪︎ before you started dating, you were best friends, you did everything together. you were always in love with each other, you just hadn't realized it yet.
▪︎ dean always teased you about it, especially sam, saying he was too slow to not realize the obvious, you, of course, ignored it completely, thinking that the other didn't feel the same way or that you would never have the chance.
▪︎ after, this became difficult, hiding the heart-shaped looks whenever the other looked away, always trying to disguise it but failing miserably.
▪︎ sometimes you shared a bed and by some chance you woke up hugging or with your legs intertwined and this resulted in almost an entire day of tension, you barely talking to each other or making eye contact until you intended that nothing happened and continued to be the same as always. but then, unable to bear having to hide all this "unrequited" love any longer, one of you tries to distance yourself, thinking that these feelings could ruin your friendship and you don't want to lose each other's affection.
▪︎ this ends up leaving the other confused, thinking that they did something wrong, and doing everything to understand what is happening. after all this confusion, you understand each other, talk and finally confess your feelings to each other.
"i thought you hated me."
"i could never hate you, sammh. it's just that my love for you is so great that i couldn't stand being around you anymore."
"i ove you too, i'm so relieved about that, but promise me that you'll never hide anything again, no matter what it is."
"i promise."
▪︎ ever since you started dating, he always needs to touch you in some way, whether it's intimately or just holding your hand on a cold night. with that, know that he will never be able to sleep well again if he is not hugging you or at least with an arm around you.
▪︎ over time, he began to show his clingy side, sometimes needy just for your touch, your hands in his, or his somewhere on you, usually an arm on your shoulders or a hand on your hips.
▪︎ he also likes to always tell you how beautiful you are, that he loves you and how much you matter to him. even if he doesn't say it directly, he always tries to show it by doing something for you, even if it's small things like picking up your change of clothes when you take a shower, or when you're sick, he's by your side, available for whatever you need, buying you a drink that you like at the coffee shop, buying you a book that he knows you would like to read or simply paying attention when you talk, and making mental notes about little things that you do or like.
▪︎ he definitely loves it when you reciprocate or do similar things, in your way of showing your love for him.
▪︎ he won't admit it, but he feels so good when he sees you wearing his shirt, and how big it looks on you. he thinks the height difference between you is cute and sometimes he gets annoying.
▪︎ he's become more overprotective, but he tries not to suffocate you. this has also made him more worried about you during hunts, and the same goes for you.
▪︎ sometimes you fight because of his overprotectiveness, sometimes he doesn't want to let you go on a hunt because he thinks it's too dangerous and you get upset. dean tries to give sam advice about how he should stop trying to exclude you because you're too strong and can handle yourself, so he apologizes later and you're still a little upset, but then everything works out and everything's fine.
▪︎ dating sam can be complicated sometimes, especially as hunters, but you always support each other and know that everything will work out.
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botaniqueer · 1 year ago
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Forward: This post isn't meant judgmentally, targeted at anyone in particular or as a gotcha and I write in entirely good faith.
A question I have for white folks in particular (but also abled people, cis people, etc, but also everyone in general who votes) when engaging with electoral politics is, are you taking measures to protect the rest of us from your candidates? There's no perfect candidate for sure, but that means people will be hurt, and as voters we have a responsibility to call out and prevent harm that our candidates do; if we aren't then we're directly complicit in that harm. Are you willing to put your bodies and minds on the line to protect those who aren't going to be protected by those candidates? Because of the nature of US politics, our own candidates need to be challenged just as fiercely as if someone else got elected.
Again, I'm not against voting at all! I literally vote blue every time and in every election. I think there's strategic value in it, but we have to actually strategize, which hasn't been getting done. Are we actually engaging with why people are hesitant to vote? People use the "you're damaging your own cause!" whenever people seen as "scary leftists" participate in their actions, but it's never applies to liberal and electoral politics even though the same can be said. Trying to harp on and guilt people into voting when without engaging with why that is just damages the cause and pushes them further away. Also note that the majority of people critical of the way electoral politics are done are BIPOC; this is important to think about.
The democrats are objectively better for more people than the republicans, but there are people who are destitute to the point where those two parties are the same. Palestinians for example! Democrats also fund police measure against homeless folks as we see in the PNW, which is strongly blue. Indigenous people here are another similar group– the way indigeneity is legislated here, they're literally programmed to eventually go extinct from a legal standpoint due to the colonial law of blood quantum. Not to mention that reservations are literally, in their words, concentration camps.
Are you going to make things better for yourself and leave others to fall through the cracks? Or are you going to use that to lift everyone else up? This traditionally hasn't been the case, so if you want BIPOC voters to trust you, you have to demonstrate that you won't get attached to you candidates and hold them on a pedestal.
How are you going to assuage fears when people get anxious (and they will!) without also invalidating their fears (which is common under electoral politics votes). Can you do this without a lot of the manipulative tactics a lot of outlets use? (Blaming disaffected BIPOC for when things go wrong, using the "well the other guy is worse!" line.) Folks ask for 1000 step plans when talking about non-electoral political elements, but when engaging with electoral politics people treat it like magic, and if anyone falls through the cracks and complains, they're just being cantankerous. This is only a small percentage of the things that need to be considered.
Election season is also really retraumatizing for folks who have colonized backgrounds. Are you making sure we feel safe? Are we being thought about as real people, instead of just abstracts or as a resource to generate votes, but who are just being obstinate? (As opposed to again, real people with real motivations)
As a final note, people also comment on "Why abstain anyways when you know it's going to be bad either way?" for particularly marginalized people, and I think the answer (folks in those situations can correct me here) is that it's more cathartic to watch the people who let you slip through the cracks fall with you, than slipping through the cracks and watching those same people have brunch and pretend you and your problems don't exist. It's like being trapped in a room with only crumbs to eat while the people on the other side of the door throw a dinner party, and if you complain, yell at you saying that the other guys wouldn't even give you crumbs.
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codacheetah · 6 months ago
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The start of the Loop segment of the Siffrin & friends twitter QNA, and the message that flipped Loop's answers from silly to dodgy and blatantly upset.
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Loopchat from speaking to Loop 20+ times.
Certified Loop dysphoria post
#isat loop#isat spoilers#i was gonna make a whole semisilly post abt how i think the public perception of loop as 'cunty' is kind of funny#(has bought into it before)#but to be honest it just made me start thinking more abt how loop perceives themself.#loop telling siffrin not to die too early so they have more time to go :( at siffrin's drawing. or well i guess it'd be :#man.#it does....interest me#siffrin seems to not be particularly dysphoric in like a gender sense. expresses interest in body craft but thinks#(You dont mind inhabiting this meat prison for the time being.) as well so#but by becoming a star loop kind of. simultaneously loses the freedom to Change the way they want to. no guarantee bodycraft works on stars#and loses the comfort of inhabiting their own body#congrats on the new body loop! sorry about the dysphoria#for as much as it's fun to poke at loop for being very obvious once you Know#it does. resonate something with me i guess that of all things this is one of the few things that loop isn't very good at deflecting about.#(in the sense of cutting the conversation short before it becomes capital o Obvious they are upset anyways)#i'm aware they were already transgender before becoming a star. but very transgender of you loop#oh! i guess i can say on the topic of cunty loop#it's kind of funny. like im not immune to drawing Cute Loops or making them silly and dramatic and flirty#and i think the thread of Drama they show on top of their not-typically-masculine (ig???) demeanor and flirting with siffrin#makes the perception of them as like. there has to be a better word than cunty but. cunty. somewhat understandable#once more the loop has deceived you. i mean i do think the drama is a little bit real they are a hashtag theater kid#but they have deceived you. you have fallen into their spiderweb of believing they are anything other than the world's most miserable beast#with your help we can crowdfund enough silver coins to buy loop a dysphoria hoodie. if we hit our stretch goal it can have a print on it
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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 5 months ago
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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irregularbillcipher · 1 year ago
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"if you think that kryptos was from flatland and you believe bill genuinely cared about him, meaning he had some fort of actual human connection to another flatlander, why did bill still end up destroying the place? wouldn't kryptos trying to stop him have either made him reconsider his actions, or made him get rid of kryptos entirely?" well you see when bill was burning flatland, kryptos was whooping and hollering and breaking out the champagne
#imo on paper bill and kryptos have the healthiest relationship bill has ever had-- hell off paper too#BUT it's really just because kryptos has like nearly alway agreed with bill's decision making except for small bickery things#that really don't matter#YEAH kryptos has some weird bad upsetting feelings about the second dimension being destroyed but it's very much a#'oh wait the catharsis is wearing off' thing#while it was happening? the minute he realized what was going on he was all for it#bill isn't even inhernetly trying to manipulate andy this is truly just their Dynamic. which is unhealthy in itself but! not intentionally#andy is so lost in the 'bill is the best person i know and he's always right' sauce that he genuinely doesn't want ot argue with bill#he just assumes bill is correct and right and any weird feelings he ever has are just flukes#meanwhile bill just would not know how to react if andy suddenly started disagreeing with him on anything serious#like??? this is andy. andy's smart he knows what's up why is he suddenly being Stupid#he would not handle it well but also he'll never have to because they're so weirdly codependent at this point that this is just the Dynamic#and it's not flat out abusive like every other dynamic in bill's life but man. Man.#'i was eight years old before anyone was ever really nice to me and actually wanted to be my friend and now eons later we're#just enmeshed but we do genuinely care about each other and it's the closest thing to healthy that we know so we don't think we have to#change anything about our dynamic'
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theultracharmingladynoire · 2 years ago
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I am pissed.
#At a Lot of things in rl#At people around me#At a lot of fact#AT MYSELF#then at fandom stuff too (I blocked. Without even thinking but it still frustrates me)#Just So MANY things and more mainly at the fact#I don't even know if my anger si valid (it isn't. I KNOW I shouldn't take this stuff seriously because they've internalised it for AGES and#being mad at them is not going to change anything. But I just. Idk. I am supposed to be grateful and love them and I DO but I. I just.#THEN I come upon this fucking condescending blog (which doesn't even exist any more but what I saw was some posts from it ig) and it made#My blood boil (it was about~~bad~~ fanfics#Like on one hand yes some fanfics are stupid™(inherently homophobic ones bashing fics etc)#But like. Unless the authors have stated they are comfortable with critiques you don't get to be assholes#Like. Maybe the blog just meant to poke fun and I don't even know if that blog was stupid and BAD and it could just#Be I dislike the tone or something#Which is valid because things don't have to be bad just because I dislike them but. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH#And then I just somehow started thinking abt the fact that#Sometimes people mean a lot to me but I don't necessarily mean that much to them#AND THAT'S OKAY.#So it felt kind of entitled of myself to feel upset at that or something#(on the surface level I feel like I know it isn't necessarily that simple#And this whole thought process is nearly bullshit#so I just. I am tired I just want to enjoy things and I want to care about people and show them that I want to form long lasting healthy#Relationships#And I incredibly tired of whining about it on the main but writing it down just feels like I am telling at a fucking wall and it is make me#feel like shit and I can't.#I am learning and unlearning and learning#And ftr I know I can just not engage with opinions which I KNWO will piss me off or make me feel sad#it's on me and I know it but it's also just that#I want to read perspectives contradicting my own and understand people while disagreeing with them#But I guess I haven't reached the mental space to that just yet
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emometalhead · 2 years ago
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are you doing okay emotionally?
No ♡
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inkskinned · 10 months ago
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at the end of the day it's not that you hate your job - actually, you like working, you like routine, you like feeling like an adult - it's that any time you fuck anything up, you feel like you're fucking dying.
because you could be actually fucking dying. because if one day you wake up and you misunderstood something - you could lose your job, and nobody is hiring, and nobody is paying, and nobody takes people like you, and that job you want hasn't gotten back to you. and what exactly are you going to do without insurance? good luck with those meds. you should have thought of that before being a person.
so it's not just that you forgot to CC someone on an email, it's that if you don't have this job, you can't afford rent. it's not that you misread a comment, it's that if you get fired, you will be in massive amounts of unpayable debt. it's not that you are bad at your job, but here are the stakes as they have been decided for you: be perfect or fucking die. like, literally, die. that is how much safety net you have: none.
it's not burnout, technically. but you literally just had two typos in your work, and you're already picturing the ending. you want to throw up & curl up & make it all go away. it is two typos. if he decides he is mad at you, you lose literally everything.
your mom says that you seem stressed. the thing is that you have never known a job that isn't stressful. welcome to capitalism. there is no other road, only this one. what the fuck is a career. you come here, and we hold your life against the barrel of a gun, and somewhere someone is spinning the chamber and pulling. eventually the bullet will come.
you live in a mugging. your boss owns three cars and has four kids. you worry about having enough to feed your dog. good luck. beg for forgiveness. CC the right people next time and be grateful, kid. somebody has it worse than you. someone, probably, has it worse than you. so what if you can't sleep or eat or focus. your work chat sound literally makes you panic. you had to change the sounds of computer notifications so you'd stop having such an upset stomach.
welcome to the real world! the rat race! the dog eat dog circus!
your doctor studies the results and frowns at you. "it's bad for your heart," she says. "try to reduce your levels of stress."
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northwest-cryptid · 2 years ago
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Long hair enbies exist, I understand you’re talking more mainstream media and the like where enbies are never really portrayed hardly at all, but the problem isn’t that long hair can’t be enbie/gender neutral. it’s that people associate androgyny with nonbinary. That’s now how it works. I am nonbinary, I have a very good friend who’s nonbinary; I look very much masculine and they look very much feminine. If you ask either of us what the most troublesome aspect of our identity is, it’s literally even other LGBT individuals who use the words “androgynous” and “nonbinary” interchangeably and practically demand we adhere to their standards of what an enbie needs to look like in order to be respected. I have finally come to terms with how I look, and some days I even think I actually look good; and you know the only reason I often strive to be more androgynous at all? It’s because I just want to be respected, because I am tired of being told I “don’t look enbie” or that I’m “too masculine to pass”
Until people understand that “nonbinary” or “enbie” doesn’t have to look a certain way this sort of thing is always going to happen. While I don’t know when this post was made, I will say that there are plenty of long haired men and women in media, if you pay attention they’re out there. Truth is, having a post say “give me long haired enbies” feels like one of those cases of meaning well but accidentally demanding someone fit your desires. I know it was very likely not meant to read that way but as an enbie who has been told how to dress, how to do my hair, how to act, etc. since I had come out as nonbinary it’s a situation where my only real comment is this:
You want long haired enbies? Cool, that’s fantastic; do it then. Do it yourself. Be the change. People make enough demands of us as it is. Design your own characters, make it happen. However please never tell me how I need to look or be in order to appease other people.
start normalizing long hair as androgynous. long hair can be gender-neutral too.
#If my comment makes you angry you can reblog it from the source#but boy I feel strongly on this topic#My comment is not meant to be rude or angry in any way#I just want people to understand that as a N/B individual this post really rubs me the wrong way#and like don't get me wrong! I understand the core message behind this#I really do understand the concept they're trying to say here#but it falls kinda flat when you consider that long hair is normalized as being gender neutral#If you're not someone who understands that I'd argue that you're part of the problem perpetuating the idea that it isn't.#When movie stars or musicians or celebrities in the mainstream media can all have long or short hair without it being considered gendered#and you still think ''oh but long hair is for women and short hair is for men'' maybe you're part of the problem#which I don't say to upset you I say that in hopes it might make you realize that this is a lot more normal than you think#and denying that isn't going to help progress us any#I've had long hair all my life and I've ANNOYINGLY never been seen as anything other than a man#but dear god please let N/B individuals just present how they fucking want to#do not tell them they have to break the mold or be something different than who or what they are#if you can't see why that's a problem there's a problem in your logic#If you're a N/B and you want short neon dyed hair fuckin' go for it mate! Live your best life!#and if you want to present femininely I want you to feel just as fucking valid and supported for it#If you're N/B and you really like your beard and you think your hair looks good short then I hope you know you're no less N/B for it#Nonbinary individuals do not owe you androgyny I thought we've been over this already#and we don't need to make something andro just so it can ''fit for N/Bs'' or something#Especially not something that is already very gender neutral#Believe it or not I'm actually kinda scared to say this shit because I'm no stranger to angry anons telling me I need to change myself#funny that ain't it. How someone who is a thing will speak up about the suffering those people go through and others will become upset#rather than actually paying any mind to it or listening or giving it a moment of thought#I know there's roughly 24k other people out there who saw this post and went ''oh fuck yeah absolutely agree with this'' and honestly#the bulk of them are probably N/B people#and that's fine but I think we also need to address this topic when we're saying such a cut and dry statement here#You want to change something? Do it. Do it your fucking self. Do not make demands of me. I'm frankly#very fucking tired of people making demands of me.
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satoruxx · 11 months ago
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pairing: toji fushiguro x reader | 1.6k words summary: boyfriend!toji headcanons, fluff, soft!toji, grumpy x sunshine, he’s a simp but he’ll never admit it !! rheya's note: grumpy man being soft for the person he really loves? i’m here for it. mamaguro is literal proof that he can and will love !!
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bf!toji who is silent with his care for you. he's not one to be open or dramatic about his feelings, but you bet he'll show them in actions. small, mundane things that could only be picked out under critical eyes—like quietly placing an extra mug of coffee next to you as you work, or being the one to walk closest to the street, fingers firmly clasped around your palm. if you point it out he'll just grunt, shaking his head with a quiet "keep walking" all while pretending to ignore your silly little grin.
bf!toji who isn't really the type to be big on words of affirmation, but huge on physical touch. you tell him you did well on a project at school or work and he just hums, giving you a little nod. he doesn't say anything else—doesn't really have to because the soft lingering pat on your head is enough to tell you that he's proud.
bf!toji who is an aggressive yet affectionate lover. if you're doing something and he's not receiving your attention he will come up behind you and put you in a headlock. he thinks it's an appropriate response considering how much he craves your attention and company—why on earth are you focused on something that isn't him anyway? so be prepared to have his heavy bicep playfully curling around your throat or slinging you over his shoulders at random times—it's his way of telling you he misses you. and if anything, he'll do it to hear you whine and attempt to shove him off.
bf!toji who will absolutely take your phone and change your lockscreen to pictures of him. every so often, you'll turn your phone on and see an entirely different picture—sometimes a picture of him at the gym, other times a picture of him blocking out his face—but it's always him.
bf!toji whose own lockscreen is always something that's related to you. he's sneaky with it, always stealing pictures of you when you're not looking. he's got a separate album with them—probably hidden behind a password because it's something only he should be allowed to see. but whether it's a snapshot of his hand intertwined with yours or a blurry image of you fast asleep in his bed, it's always you. because of course you’re the first thing he should be able to see when he turns his phone on.
bf!toji who, as cliché as it sounds, is exactly the type to go feral if someone's made you upset. and he's freakishly observant, noticing even a slight pinch of your nose or wobble in your lips—he's caught them all. whether you're just down or outright sobbing, he's there, standing in front of you with pure anger weighing heavy on his brows. and yet for all his rage he's nothing but gentle as he firmly takes your face in his calloused hands, muttering a strained "what the fuck happened?" as he forces you to make eye contact with him. his own eyes will dart over your features, searching for discomfort or any other emotion as you explain, barely holding back his own emotions because there's no reason on the fucking planet that you should be upset at all.
bf!toji who rarely says the words "i love you" not because he doesn't but because the words themselves don't hold all that much meaning to him. no he'd rather spend his time proving it to you than just saying it for the sake of saying it. but, sometimes if you pretend to be asleep long enough, you'll catch him quietly whisper the words into your hair, almost like he doesn't want anyone to hear it. don't even bother trying to call him out for it—he'll deny deny deny.
bf!toji whose eyes flutter when he lets you trace over his scars. not just the one cutting over his lips but the ones that litter his back and torso—battle remnants that he doesn't remember much of. he's always hated the look of them, indifferent to old memories of a much more chaotic time in his life. but when your gentle fingers graze over the raised skin he'll sigh, oddly quiet but yet so comfortable.
bf!toji who will drop everything if you need him. don't ever hesitate to ask him for things because you're scared of being a burden—he will yell at you (affectionately). you drank too much with your friends and can't get a ride? call him and he'll pick you up even if it's 4 am. you're feeling nervous about walking home from the convenience store even though it's only ten minutes away from home? stay put and he'll come get you so that you can walk back together. shut up about all that "it's an inconvenience for you" bullshit—he'll do it and that's that.
bf!toji who asks if you've eaten today, and when you answer with a sheepish smile he'll click his tongue, crossing his bulky arms over his chest and giving you a pointed glare. then he'll say "get your ass to the kitchen. c'mon, up." while hoisting you to your feet—most of the time he'll just pick you up and plop you on the counter himself.
bf!toji who wordlessly makes you something to eat, whether it's a quick snack put together with leftovers or an actual full meal. then he'll stand in front of you with the plate and demand you eat. even a slight word of protest and he's scowling, already holding up a spoonful while grumbling a low "don't wanna hear it. open up, kid."
bf!toji who hates when you fall asleep on the couch waiting for him to get home. his job doesn't allow for the comfort of a strict schedule, and he's told you this many times. but you're nothing if not stubborn, and he can only sigh heavily as he sees you dozing against the armrest when he pushes the door open late at night. he'll click his tongue quietly, hooking both arms under your back and knees to cradle you against his chest before walking to the bedroom. though some part of him is pleased, knowing that you seem to care about him enough to make sure he's coming home every night.
bf!toji who glares at anyone who even breathes in your direction the wrong way. some guy eyeing you while you're walking on the street? toji looks like he's ready to rip his head off. some "friend" of yours asking too many questions about why you're dating a man like him? well…if looks could kill.
bf!toji who pulls you into his lap when he kisses you, because he likes the way you fit into his space so perfectly. he won't ever admit how it makes him swoon when you giggle against his lips, instead choosing to tighten his grip on your hips and pull you closer to his chest.
bf!toji who enjoys watching you sit on the kitchen counter and swing your legs back and forth—finding it so unbelievably endearing that he ends up just standing in between your legs and burying his face into your neck. his lips will map chaste kisses across your skin, and he'll hide a wry smile as your quiet giggles wash over him.
bf!toji who will notice when you eye something at a store, whether it's a pretty piece of jewelry or a new sweater or whatever—he keeps note. and then weeks later, once you've forgotten all about it, he'll come home and drop a bag into your lap before shoving his hands into his pockets. when you open it and start gushing about how much you wanted it and how pleased you are, he'll huff and turn away, muttering a low "whatever, kid. 's not a big deal."
bf!toji who sees you upset about something, and loops his bicep around your neck and tucks you under his chin. to an outsider it doesn't look like the most comforting form of a hug, but it's toji, and he's secure and he's safe and he's all the comfort you need—a tight squeeze that grounds you in a way that you can't quite describe.
bf!toji who will never admit how interested he is in your gossip. his ideal way to destress after he comes home is to sit on the couch with you in his lap, your arms looped around his waist as you press yourself against his torso and tuck your head under his chin. and even though his eyes are trained on the tv, he has no clue what's going on—he's more focused on the drama you're spilling or whoever you're ranting about. and he makes it known too, occasionally asking "then what happened, baby?" and adding in a few sounds of disbelief. by the end of your rant, he'll be saying something along the lines of "what a fucking bitch," or "honestly he deserved that," and then asks for updates on the situation over the next few days.
bf!toji who silently watches you trace your fingers over the lines on his palms. you're blabbering about something, tucked against his chest as his other arm remains wrapped around you securely, but he's just focused on your hands. it scares him a little bit—the difference between you and him. his palms are calloused, rough with battle and death, while yours are soft, clean of the horrors he's determined to keep away from you. and a small part of him tells him he shouldn't taint you with all his faults, that you deserve someone more capable of loving than he is. but then he feels you brush your lips over his scarred fingers and he sucks in a breath, tightening his grip imperceptibly. even as he hides a half smile against your brow, he knows he isn't going anywhere.
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tetsumie · 5 months ago
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"𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐎 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘" 𝐏𝐓 𝟐
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read part 1 here!
pairing: kuroo x reader & bokuto x reader
genre: hurt/comfort
content: the boys call you clingy but they don’t mean it
a/n: hello ahhh it's been awhile since i've posted but i'm trying to get back into the habit of writing again! someone in my inbox had requested me to add bokuto to this list so i tried my best but i hope you all enjoyed this and feel free to stop by my inbox to leave a comment, tell me your thoughts, or just lmk how it's going hehe :,)
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kuroo tetsuro
"i'm home," a mumble echoed out into the empty living room.
at the sound of the door opening, you make your way out of your shared bedroom to greet your overworked boyfriend, kuroo.
"hi baby," you replied with a tired smile on your features.
the door closes and kuroo slides off his slacks, loosens his tie, runs his fingers through his hair, and sighs in exhaustion.
"hey."
"have you eaten dinner yet?" you start to ramble. " i can warm up dinner and we could maybe share a meal together?"
"we haven't spent much time together in a while so you know.. i was just thinking... we could do something small together?"
you continue to ramble about how you spent all evening trying a new recipe you saw on tiktok that really fascinated you.
but kuroo is not having it.
all he wants to do is just go to bed and forget the past couple shitty days he's had at work. today, especially, was stressful considering how nothing had gone his way and the higher ups just wouldn’t stop giving him a hard time.
he kept his frustration, tiredness, anger all bottled up for the past couple days and they were all about to boil out.
on top of that, your constant rambling isn't helping. you keep talking and talking and talking and his mind is beginning to get cloudy and his anger is about to boil over.
his voice rises and he finally speaks, "god y/n.. can you just shut the fuck up and stop being all up in my space? you're so fucking clingy just leave me alone."
oh.
you mouth shuts up mid sentence and you're looking down at your feet, too embarrassed to even look him in the eye after hearing his true feelings.
"sorry, i just wanted to spend some time and talk and relax with you..." your voice goes quiet. "you've been out really late for the past couple days so i was just hoping-"
however, kuroo's outburst isn't over yet. if anything, your little comment voicing your concerns seems to have make him a bit more upset.
"yeah, i've been out late because of how suffocating it is here at home with you. god, it's like you just can't take a fucking hint! just leave me the fuck alone!" he says and your eyes go a bit glassy.
"r-right," you say as you're turning around so he doesn't see the tears forming in your eyes. "sorry, i'll respect your wishes and give you your space."
seeing your hunched figure walking away brought him back to his senses.
what the fuck did i just say to them? oh my god.
"y/n wait i'm sorry-" he begins but is cut off.
"kuroo, i think you've said enough tonight."
the sound of his last name coming out of your mouth leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and he knows he's fucked up immensely. the door to the bedroom closes, indicating that you're clocking out for the night and you can't deal with this conversation any bit longer.
kuroo sits himself on the couch with his head in his hands, shaking his head.
what the hell did i just say to them? it's not even their fault... i just... how the hell do i make it up to them?
kuroo walks to the door and places three subtle knocks on the door, begging for permission to enter. he's greeted with no acknowledgement or response.
he turns the knob and to his surprise it opens. there, he sees you fast alseep in your comforter in a fetal-like position. he goes into the closet, changes into his pajamas, and immediately climbs into bed.
he brings you close to his side of the bed, specifically putting your head on his chest. he begins to stroke your hair and places gentle kisses on your head, mumbling soft "i'm sorry's" and "i love you's."
he's praying to whatever deity out there that this would blow over by tomorrow morning or something.
but kuroo wakes up the next morning to his worst nightmare: you're not in bed with him. he feels his blood run cold and he's running the worst case scenarios in his head.
he rushes out of the bedroom to see that you're nowhere in the apartment. he sees a bright colored post-it note stuck on to the fridge with a note scribbled in your handwriting.
"i'm staying at a friend's house for the next couple of days. i just need time to think for a bit. there's some leftovers from last night in the fridge so make sure you eat those.
love u always, y/n"
kuroo's hands shake as he's holding your post-it note.
of course, they'd leave. i treated them like shit and hurt them so badly of course they want to leave. but even after everything, they still love me… i don’t deserve them.
kuroo begins to spiral and the next couple of days aren't any easy for him.
every attempt at texting or calling you has lead to no response. he goes to sleep without you next to him, holding back tears every time. every morning without fail, he pats the vacancy next to him in hopes that you'll be there but to his demise, every time, you're not. work feels even more lethargic than usual. before, he used to look forward to coming home to you but now you're not even at home so what's the point in even trying. counting down the hours until he gets to leave his cubicle has become futile.
i just really want them back. please come back home.
but when he comes home from a pain achingly long day of work, he doesn't find you and his mood plummets even more.
that is until one day, kuroo is able to leave work early where he comes home and hears the familiar noise of the coffee maker brewing. his eyes shoot up from his slacks to look over at the kitchen where he sees you in all your beauty, fidgeting with the knobs on the coffee machine. your eyes both lock and you immediately look away.
kuroo thought you were gone for good. and the fact that you were only a couple feet away from him made his heart swell and his eyes water. there's so much to say but his not a single word is escaping his mouth.
"you want some coffee? i just started a new batch," you finally say to fill up the silence of the room.
he gulps, "sure yeah."
you grab a coffee cup and pour him a fresh cup of coffee and slide it to him across the kitchen counter, avoiding getting too close to him.
too nervous to even touch his drink, he begins to address the elephant in the room, "y/n, i'm so sorry for what i said that night. i had no right to speak to you in the manner."
"it's okay," you say in a curt manner. "i get it."
he shakes his head and tries to get closer to you to convey his feelings but is stopped when he sees you take a step back. his heart cracks.
"no it's not okay sweetheart. i've been so busy with work and i just got super overwhelmed with everything and-"
"kuroo, you know you don't have to make any excuses right?" you interrupt his train of thought.
he's confused now. "excuses? y/n what are you even talking about- "
"just end it with me already... i know you want to," you say, looking down at the fresh cup of coffee in your hands. "you made that very clear."
his world freezes.
the world becomes completely silent.
his mouth is slightly open, caught off guard. he doesn't know what to say.
however, you interpret his silence as him putting down the excuses finally and admitting that he doesn't want to put effort into this relationship with you anymore.
hell, he doesn’t even want this relationship with you anymore.
"right, if you won't i will so it's easier for the both of us. i think we should-"
"don't you dare finish that fucking sentence," he moves close to you all of a sudden and his familiar lingering cheap cologne smell takes up your senses. the gears begin to click in his head before you can respond to him.
kuroo's arms envelop you in his embrace. "i want you. only you. i'm sorry i made you think otherwise."
the tears you've been holding back for the past couple minutes standing in front of him overflow and you feel like the world is about to end.
you push kuroo off you slightly. "i know you've been busy with work and i just wanted to spend some time with you. i never meant to come off as clingy but clearly you thought so so-"
"i'm just a complete douche,” he interrupts. “you were trying to help me out and make me feel better and i was so caught up with work, i couldn't appreciate that."
"i never want to ever make you feel that way again. you never deserved to hear any of that from me and everything i said couldn't be far from the truth. your presence has never been a bother and if anything, coming home to you is the best part of my day.”
“i shouldn't have let my emotions get the best of me and i'm so sorry that it did and that i hurt you in the process. i hate that i’m the reason behind your tears and i’ll do everything to make it up to you to show you how much i love you."
the tears from your eyes continue to flow and he delicately wipes every single one from your eyes kissing your cheek every time without fail.
"are you sure you don’t find me suffocating? you said that you hated being home with me though so i just thought-" you start to say.
"i will spend my entire life reassuring you that it isn’t true. i promise you are never suffocating me and your presence never fails to make me feel better on a shitty day. i will do anything to regain your trust and faith in me,” he adamantly speaks with his hands in yours.
hearing his determined resolve, the tears flow even more.
"i love you so much, tetsu."
"i love you too baby," he smiles and delicately kisses your lips. "now let's go out. how do you feel about going out for dinner? i’ve got a lot of making up to you to do."
"i'll never say no to that."
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bokuto koutaro
the msby jackals lost 2-0 sets and the entire team was taking the loss hard but no one as hard as bokuto.
"bokuto-san, what do you think went wrong today's game?" an interviewer asks with his notepad out, scribbling notes.
"er, uh, well, today was just a rough day and i had a tough time keeping up with the opponent's plays today... it just was not a good day."
"i have one more question," the interviewer asks.
"go ahead," he gruffs out.
"you are known for your infamous line shots especially during deciding moments of the game. you missed multiple of these shots during today's game. were you distracted during this game? is it because of your new relationship status or were-"
bokuto is now riled up. who the hell does this interviewer think he is to corner me and bring in my personal life???
"i'm leaving, fuck this shit," he spits out, trying his best to maintain his composure.
in frustration, bokuto storms out of the press conference room, slamming the double doors, heading towards the locker room to grab his stuff but is stopped by you, running after him.
"kou! wait up!" you say from a distance and he stops in his tracks to look at you. he's still internally raging from the provocative behavior of that interviewer and he feels like he just might lose it.
"what do you want," he says in an aggressive manner that catches you off guard.
you’re aware of the recent loss of the msby jackals. you know that's probably taking a toll on his confidence as a player so you're trying to be as supportive as you can.
"you wanna come back to my place? i was thinking we could watch that one disney movie you like and we could bake something together too? what do you think?"
"why do you always want to fucking hang out?" he says in the lowest tone of voice you've ever heard from him.
it sends shivers down your spine.
"huh?" you're just confused at this point.
"why are you so fucking clingy all the time? it's always 'kou come over!' or 'kou let's watch a movie!' or 'kou let's take a nap together!' like don't you fucking get that i have a genuine career that i'm working really hard to be successful in?"
so that's what he thinks of me.
"i know you want to be a pro volleyball player and i want to support you the entire way. i was just trying to be there for you and help you relax..." you trail. "i get today was really rough for you.."
"that's the thing you don't get it, y/n!" he says exasperatedly. "if you did want to be supportive for me and my career, then you would stop being so all up on me and give my space!"
he walks into the locker room, slamming the door, shaking you up.
in defeat, you begin to leave the stadium with tears brimming your eyes. as you get in your car, you put your head on the steering wheel and suddenly, the tears start to stream out.
"i'll give him his space. i'll just stop everything. i'm nothing of importance to him or his life so it's best if i just stop." you convince yourself.
bokuto, on the other hand, is in the locker room, holding back tears of frustration as he punched one of the lockers.
fuck, what am i even doing right now...
"bokuto-san! let's head out for the night," shoyo's voice can be heard before he can be seen in the locker room. "we're gonna go get drinks and dinner at that new barbecue place that opened up."
he looks up from the bench and smiles at shoyo along with the rest of his teammates that are nodding along in support.
"yeah, sure. fine with me," kou responds with a small smile on his face.
as bokuto and the rest of the jackals are out and about, he keeps looking at his phone in hopes of getting a message or something from you but you're completely radio silent after the spat between the two of you.
he knows you both had a disagreement but he thought you knew that he was just frustrated and upset with the game. he didn't think it was a reason to just go silent on him.
he sends a text to test the waters.
kou <3: babe, we're good right?
he puts his phone down and engages back in the dinner with the rest of the jackals.
an hour has passed yet still no response. it's starting to make him fidgety so he decides to spam you.
kou <3: hello?
kou <3: baby wya???
kou <3: where is the loml at :((
kou <3: BABYYYYYYY
kou <3: POOKIE PLS TXT ME BACK :(((
y/n is typing...
y/n: sry i was getting ready for bed.
you sounded distant. you clearly were upset but was it still about the argument? c'mon you knew he didn't mean what he said... right?
kou <3: ITS OKAY BABY! can i come over? i wanna spend the night with u :,)
kou <3: i miss you
y/n: maybe not tonight... i think it's best if we're by ourselves for a bit
bokuto's hair significantly drooped down, seeing as how he got rejected to hang out with you for the night.
as bokuto heads over to his apartment for the night, he stares at the bedroom ceiling with his thoughts. he misses laying next to his baby. that's when he starts to replay everything that went down between the two of you.
he genuinely can't figure out what went wrong.
he prays that this whole thing will just blow over by tomorrow because he misses you incredibly and just wants to spend time with you.
unfortunately to his demise, you kept shutting down all of kou's efforts to come over. you refused to pick up his calls, resorting to half assed texts.
this whole argument was festering and bokuto had to fix it immediately.
you, however, want nothing more than to spend time with your boyfriend but his words kept running through your mind on loop. anytime you would be sitting alone with yourself, his words kept playing themselves on loop in your brain, making you overthink the post couple months you’ve spent together.
has he always thought of me as clingy? have i always been a bother to him? have i always been super annoying in his eyes?
that was until you heard a knock on the door.
you open the door and see kou standing there in a hoodie and a pair of khakis with a large bouquet of assorted flowers in his hands. his eyes lock with yours while yours widen in surprise.
"k-kou! what are you doing here?" you say in surprise.
"what, i can't see my partnet now?" he retorts lightheartedly. "let me in."
too stunned to even reject him, your hand inherently finds its way to the knob, widening the door so bokuto can fit through into your apartment.
he tries to hand you the flowers but you stand there, hands refusing to move from their sides. "c'mon babe, i got them for you! do you not like them? man, i knew i should've gotten the roses instead."
"no no! thank you so much kou.. i'm just surprised that you even got this for me..." you trail off looking away from him.
he sets the flowers on the kitchen counter and tilts his head in confusion. "what do you mean, y/n?"
"listen, i know you don't really like spending time with me and that you feel obligated to but honestly, we really don't have to hang out or anything like that," you begin to say. "i know i can be a lot sometimes and i'm really working on trying to give you space."
that's when it all clicks in his head for him.
"baby, is this about what i said that day in the gym?" he questions.
you turn away, refusing to even look him in the eye because you know the moment your eyes lock with his, the tears will start streaming down your face.
"baby, no, please," he goes over to you to give you the warmest yet tightest hug possible. "i’m also a very clingy person so i should've known how much my words must have hurt you. i've been so stupid to not see how badly my words must have impacted you, my love. i'm so so sorry for saying and acting the way i did. it's unexcusable."
"no kou it's fine i just-" you say but are interrupted midsentence.
"no, y/n it's not," he says, tears brimming his eyes ever since coming to terms with how hurt you must've been feeling this entire time. "i'll do anything to get your forgiveness and for us to just... be close again. i'll do anything, i mean it."
tears are streaming down both your faces and you can't help but form a wobbly smile on your lips. "pinky promise?"
"pinky promise," kou says as he locks pinkies with you and kisses the top of your head. "now let's cuddle because i've missed being near the love of my life."
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© tetsumie 2024 all rights reserved 
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golden1u5t · 6 months ago
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spencer reid m.list
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❣︎- fluff ఌ- smut/suggestive ♡︎- angst
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ఌ meeting the old friend | spencer brought you out to meet his old friend, ethan, but he deeply regrets it when ethan starts to flirt with you right in front of him. 
❣︎ is it that obvious? | you and spencer were closer than normal when showing up at rossi’s dinner party which causes for teasing from derek and a kiss at the end of the night.
ఌ working all day | spencer’s being a brat because you’ve been working all day, leaving you no choice but to fix his attitude for him. 
❣︎ periods and colds | being sick and on your period is never a easy thing. the symptoms that come with it are even worse but you're still determined to go to work and it's up to spencer to make sure you stay home and get taken care of.
♡︎ jj’s confession | the aftermath of jj’s fuck up.
ఌ sober enough | while out at a bar with the team the tension between you and spencer grew to be thicker until it was too much to stand. 
ఌ mean but he likes it | spencer finds that he likes it when your upset.
ఌ right here, right now | “you know, i could always get you off right here, right now”
ఌ untitled blurb | making spencer suck your strap before you fuck him.
ఌ worship you | spencer takes notice of how you react to being praised so he takes that information and runs with it. 
ఌ home remedy | spencer's a genius, he knows everything and one thing he's learned is that orgasms help with cramps.
ఌ early in the morning | spencer always wakes up before you and he usually takes time to himself to admire you. this morning is different though, he wakes up with the sudden need to bury his head between your thighs.
ఌ discovery | while being pinned down underneath you, spencer really can't think of anything other than filling you up with his cum.
ఌ one more | spencer's a munch. that's it. that's the summary.
ఌ change of plans | the arrangement you had with spencer, friends with benefits, quickly changes to more than that when he sees a cop flirting with you on the job.
ఌ book club | you can’t stop finding yourself in spencer’s bed, even after you’ve broken up.
❣︎ ఌ backwards | you and spencer never got along, with him just getting back from prison and you being the newbie, until you do and things start moving faster than expected. 
ఌ ruining him | basically just ruining spencer…
♡︎ ❣︎ ఌ addiction | spencer's working through his addiction and you hate to see him in pain. you was to try and take his mind off of things, even if it'll only last a little while.
❣︎ share the attention | having a new baby around means that majority of the attention goes to it. your daughter thinks that with all the attention your giving the baby you've forgotten about her, luckily spencer is there to explain to her that you both will never forget her.
ఌ substitution | after running out of candies to suck on, you and spencer find a different way to keep your mouth occupied.
ఌ gold chain | post-prison!spencer + gold chain + talking you through it. dangerous combination.
ఌ sativa | having sex with spencer but your both high 
ఌ date night | it’s supposed to be date night with just you and spencer but that quickly ended when a guy started to flirt with you. (including aaron hotchner)
ఌ hot tub |  after a long case you and spencer find yourselves wanting the same thing, to relax in the hotels hot tub, but the tension between you was so thick it led to doing more things than relaxing. 
ఌ I'm onto you | based on "haunted" by beyoncé
ఌ professor | you've always had eyes for your professor, always doing or wearing something that'll provoke him. one day you wear a particularly short skirt and spencer decides he can't take it anymore…
ఌ teacher of all things | spencer may be your professor but how to catch a serial killer isn't the only thing hes teaching you.
❣︎ incoming baby | you and spencer get into an argument over something as silly. while he's too busy being stubborn, you're busy going into labor.
ఌ nyquil | you fuck him so good he falls asleep immediately after you finish.
ఌ mile high | you're bored and teasing spencer seemed to be harmless and entertaining until he pops a boner, you take your chances with inviting him into the small bathroom to have a quickie.
ఌ touch starved | spencer was alone for so long before you got together and he's just so touch starved he gets hard just from looking at you, even if you had just got done having sex.
ఌ talk to me | making spencer talk to you while you jerk him off.
♡︎ mess it up | spencer hadn't been answering any of your phone calls and every time you showed up at his apartment he pretended he wasn't home. so, you go to his job, hoping to get a second chance with him. based on “mess it up” by gracie abrams 
ఌ that boy’s a munch | spencer’s a munch. that’s it.
♡ ❣︎ ︎ ఌ honeymoon | sex has always been a bad subject growing up, it was shunned upon to give into your bodies desires without being married or wanting kids. the abuse that came with this topic has caused you to hide away from it, you've never told spencer but when you do, he makes sure to make you as comfortable as he can.
❣︎ mirrorball | spencer notices how you put other people before you all the time so he decides to do something special for just you.
ఌ distract him | spencer looks amazing reading his book, his lip tucked between his teeth and his hands trailing across the page. you can't help but pull him onto your lap and distract him.
ఌ much better | pegging spencer when he gets home after a long case
ఌ a challenge | making spencer cum by just playing with his nipples 
ఌ playboy bunny | while being questioned in regards to a murder investigation, your only way of proving your innocence is the tattoo you have on your underboob.
ఌ shade of purple | spencer’s watching you paint your nails his favorite shade of purple and can’t help but let his mind wander. 
ఌ hidden freak | spencer's not very used to having to hide hickeys on his body and you had to leave before he had the chance to ask you how to hide it. doing the best he could, he threw on a shirt with a collar and hoped for the best.
♡︎ you're too sweet for me | spencer is your dad's best friend and you're fresh out of college. what happens when he's innocently picking you up from a night out with your friends turns into a heartbreak?
ఌ birthday boy | it’s spencer’s birthday and derek’s birthday gift to him is a trip to the strip club and private dance. 
ఌ next time just ask | you’ve had an attitude with spencer all day long, he finds the one thing that’ll make it go away
ఌ intelligence is attractive | spencers always had a crush on you but the way you show your intelligence does him in like nothing else. 
❣︎ hollywood star | you and spencer had been in the early stages of your relationship when lila archer came along(or her stalker to put it better). you already weren’t fond of her when she’d been giving spencer heart eyes the entire time but when gideon sent him to watch over her for the night, that really set you off. 
ఌ first timer | you’re taking spencer’s virginity and everything is just so much for him that he starts to cry. 
ఌ lingerie | you're showing spencer all the lingerie sets you got while out shopping with the girls and you knew he'd like them but you underestimated just how much he'd like them.
ఌ wait your turn | having two partners is great and very fun until you're stuck on the sidelines while they have all the fun. (including aaron hotchner)
ఌ he’s clueless | your boy is a genius but when it comes to sex, he's absolutely clueless.
ఌ patched up | spencer had gotten hurt while on a case and it was up to you to patch him back up, which wouldn’t have been an issue if the tension between you wasn’t so thick.
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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 10 months ago
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literally all i have been doing the past two weeks is Wanting. they call me the wanter the way i'm wanting things i can never have
#yearning longing whatever you wanna call it#needing as well but to a lesser extent because you can only need to a certain degree before it becomes wanting. lusting for sure#i have not stopped since the year started and i don't see an end in sight yet. i literally can't even think straight anymore#i literally cannot do anything or get anything done i mean i'm bad at that usually but like i genuinely think i've lost it#and as someone who never had it to begin with... idk!!!!#it's like i'm afraid to lose focus on it as if it isn't a constant choice i keep making when i wake up#i must remember that i can give up anything if i decide to. everything could change tomorrow#not looking at him for 2 hours will not make the feeling go away... pls be convinced brain#because i have not been sleeping well </3#and i'm becoming hard to be around again. people can just instinctively tell when i'm being weird#it is important that i be as realistic as possible while being the most deranged person on earth#wouldn't want to hurt myself again lmao... but i always do anyways so i just gotta let it happen#anyways i'm gonna try to watch harold and maude sometime today and also watch another movie bc we are only 4 weeks into 2024#and i already fucked up the 'watch a movie a week' thing i've been doing LMAO all because i wanted to look at a man#i'm ridiculously fucking braindead#not upset about it tho that's just who i am. brain is fully developed in 2 weeks and 1 day so it's never gonna change sadly#atp growing and changing are not impossible but if i do not see a reward of being loved at the end of the tunnel i will end up dead#and it's fine it's all so fine
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rxmye · 7 months ago
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hello!! can you make hcs about a desperate yandere? thank you so much!! 🫶
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" 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐏𝐔𝐓 𝐀 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐄 . . " — desperate yandere headcanons . . masterlist | requesting rules . .
gender neutral reader / yandere oc x reader / yandere content / pathetic yandere / obsessive and delusional behavior / worshipping / suggestive (?) content / kind of culty behavior tbh /
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Desperate yandere, who's willing to do anything for an ounce of your attention, who's willing to dig through the trashcan for hours just to find something that he can preserve, yanderes who have they're time solely devoted to you and things that can impress you.
Desperate yandere, who go so far as to memorize your schedule, habits, just to catch a glimpse of you while your walking through a certain street or hall . . desperate yandere's who'll never get tired of the noises you make, the pattern of your breathing, the sound of you walking, the way you sigh when something bad or inconvenient happens . . the face you make when you see them . .
Desperate yandere, who crave every inch of you, who can't get enough of you . . Who's hyperaware of your presence, your voice, your touch, the little things you do, the way your facial expressions change ever so slightly when you're upset.
Desperate yandere, who's willing to change so much for you, finding your playlists, memorizing your taste in music, finding out your favorite foods, forcing himself to like and enjoy it, just as much as you do . . letting every one of your interests become one with himself, letting himself be so consumed in you, that he almost forgets who he is entirely . . because what is he, if not loving you . .
Desperate yandere, a yandere so involved in you that he loses himself, one who can only think of you, it's no wonder that they're such a madman, who wouldn't be, when you're the only thought that he allows to rot his already rotten mind, corrupting him whole. . You are his demon and his angel, all at once, you are everything.
A yandere so desperate, that he finds himself slowly growing detached from himself, watching you from a distance no longer satisfying him, a yandere who's so consumed in his delusions that he finds his way into your live, creeping into every edge and corner of your very being, as you did to his, if you could ruin him, corrupt him, bend him to your whims . . . isn't it only fair for you to cleanse him of his suffering as well?
A desperate yandere, who's vision of life is distorted, who see's you as a being so above those around him, a Godly figure, a deity, if you're a saint then he is your servant, and if you're the devil . . then he's your slave.
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@ rxmye , do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work/theme without prior permission and or confirmation.
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