#Behavior Modification

[kinkyrhia]

The Facility (Day 1)

I wake up in a room. I don't remember what happened or how I got here. The last memory I have is sitting at the bar flirting with a man who had a peculiar accent that I couldn't place. Something about the low tone of his voice pulled me in, made it hard to think, and then everything went blank. Now I'm alone in a strange bed in a strange room with only a single light from the ceiling. There's nothing else in the room. There's just the bed and the door.

I go to get out of bed, and as the cool air hits my skin, I realize I am naked. I pull the blanket off the bed and wrap it around my body before checking the door. As I suspected, it was locked. No windows, no other exits, I'm trapped.

After a very brief investigation of the room that yields no new information, I sit back on the bed and try hard to remember what happened and how I got here. I don't know how much time passes... minutes... hours... before I hear a key on the door lock. A moment later two men and a woman come in. They say nothing to me as one of the men drags me off the bed and takes the blanket from me, leaving me naked on front of them. The second man and woman begin placing leather cuffs around my wrists, ankles, and thighs. They then strap me down face up in the bed. I scream and protest, but they don't care. One of the men seems to find my struggles particularly entertaining.

Once I am finally restrained, the woman places something on my head. It's a headset that covers my eyes and ears. A moment later a display lights up and a strange spiral starts to spin before my eyes. I hear moaning and whispers and a soft feminine voice starts speaking... Obedience is pleasure... Pleasure is obedience... Obedience is pleasure... Pleasure is Obedience... over and over again. I feel something pressed between my legs and a low vibration begins to stimulate my clit. I feel my body becoming aroused and I have no ability to stop it. I am left there for hours... the moaning, the chanting, and the pleasure drowning out any other sounds or sensations.

Where am I?

[stonedstr8]

Commitment to Convert

For a long time I have been focusing on reading all of the hot stereotypical gay to straight stuff on Tumblr. It's influenced some of my own habits in real life, and I've decided that it's time to push into it full time and go down the rabbit hole in permanent ways.

So from this point on, I'll be dedicating all of my time to becoming the trashiest, raunchiest, dumbest straight stoner bro possible. Toke and Stroke will be my new motto and life goal.

This blog is going to be dedicated to my IRL transformation journey, as well as any fictional writings I come up with about the process, so if that interests you feel free to follow and reach out too, I'm always happy to chat with other bros into similar stuff or meet people interested in helping reinforce the transformation.

Toke and Stroke bros 💪🏼

[viv-leanne]

Protocol is good for you, incorporating it into your life is a beautiful thing. train your responses so that you can serve your Superiors correctly. be a good doll ♡

[rdncktf]

REDNECKINIZATION

I've been seeing lots of posts recently of guys finally pushing their fantasy tf out into reality - living it, becoming it. I figured, maybe it's time I start to do the same... And so, here I am, trying to find bros with twisted minds to help me push it into my reality.

What better future could there be for someone like me than becoming a trashy, dumb, slobby, sleazy conservative redneck bro, all decked out in Southern Pride swag and locked into a dead-end existence.

Things about me are that I'm a 24 year old gay dude, who considers himself pretty artsy and cultured. 5'7-8ish, youthful looking twink type, and a bit of a superiority complex.

What better way for me to be knocked down a few (hundred) pegs permanently than to embrace becoming the bottom of the barrel in society.

This is a big thing to do, nerve-wracking, but so hot and twisted at the same time. I don't want RP or fantasization, I want hardcore enforcement and changes. If you feel like talking about that with me, or think you want to help drag me down the rabbit hole, feel free to DM me. I'll happily comply with any real-life methods to make it come true, no matter how dark.

🇺🇸 GOD BLESS AMERICA BRO 🇺🇸

[whumpcereal]

Looking at puppy adoption pages, and thought of the ad copy the WRU team (or Doc) might write.

Jack, 24. Jackie is a sweet boy who's finally realized his full potential. Calm and obedient, Jack would be an ideal companion for an owner who can appreciate his gentle personality and unique qualifications. He comes completely prepared for an active owner and absolutely loves to play with all manner of toys. He responds well to physical affection and would be happy to snuggle up with you anytime.

Champ, 23. Champ is a gorgeous specimen who's been well-trained to provide his owner with hours of fun. He is active and prefers physical play, even if he may seem a bit shy at first. He is easily motivated by affection and treats, just like a good boy should be.

Will, 23. After a bit of an intensive training period, Will may look a little rough around the edges, but he's ready for an owner who will lavish him with special attention. He is a quiet boy who does best away from other pups, but if you're willing to put the time in, he'll do whatever he can to please you. He can be a little food aggressive, so it's best to keep him on a regimented diet and a short leash.

[dicklesscatboy]

Tw// hypnosis, behavior modification

I think it's fun to make subjects be loud, like sweetheart why are you being so shy

I love hearing all the lewd and pathetic noises that you make for me. Just stop holding back those pretty little moans and show me how good you're feeling

Adding suggestions that make the pleasure you feel grow the louder and less shy you get, cause you also know the louder you get, the more i touch myself to the sound of your voice

Maybe you'll even notice as my voice gets more strained as I try to focus on pleasing you, knowing that I'm trying to make sure we can cum together <3

[femmefatalevibe]

What does it mean to speak less when trying to seduce someone’. Can you provide a conference example of how it would look like? How should one act etc?

Hi love! I would say that this concept boils down to two main principles: Not offering any more information about yourself than absolutely necessary to continue the conversation (nothing too personal, keep it light), and remaining interested to be interesting.

Regarding not offering any more information about yourself than absolutely necessary to continue the conversation (nothing too personal, keep it light):

Keep the conversation on a more surface level; avoid any sensitive topics or emotionally-charged topics (like a breakup, toxic ex, strained family relationship, financial struggles, workplace drama, or job/career difficulties)

Focus on conversational topics you would pitch to a magazine, post on social media, or take a quiz on vs. something that would be better saved for a close friend chat or therapy session

On remaining interested to be interesting:

Ask questions before sharing information about yourself. Initiate a conversation with a question. Ask relevant follow-up questions as a response vs. offering to disclose an anecdote or personal information about yourself

Use their answers or shared stories as a way to frame your reply. Volley the conversation back to your conversation partner by paraphrasing what they just said to you to show that you were listening and sought to understand what they were saying. After paraphrasing, ask another question that dives deeper into an aspect of their shared story, opinion, recollection of an event, etc. As an example, if they were telling you about a work presentation, ask about how they felt before, after, or during, what it was about, why the presentation mattered, what their colleagues and bosses thought, the next steps, where it was held, what they had for lunch after, etc.

Hope this helps xx

[serenityquest]

[heart-of-copper-dog-training]

Purebreed vs Rescue

A common debate among the dog loving community is purebred dogs vs rescues. Several things contribute to this and of course I'm going to talk about my own opinion on them.

First, I'm going to say that while there is such a thing as a bad breeder, there are also ethical breeders who genuinely care about the health and welfare of their dogs, as well as the temperament and purpose of the dogs they are breeding. To buy from these breeders is not a bad thing if you know what you need in a dog, have a specific purpose in mind, or simply want to know the most likely temperament and health from puppy to adulthood because it is much more controlled. I also contend with certain breeds of dogs being bred to more and more extremes (french bulldogs, bulldogs in general, any dog with high health issues due to their need to conform to "standard") because these are NOT ethical. They may be well cared for and have a certain temperament, but I can't support dogs that can barely breathe and often have expensive surgeries and/or die due to aesthetics.

Buying from an unethical breeder is something I will never agree with. I'd say your average dog owner knows what a puppy mill is, but many don't understand why a backyard breeder is not much better. Supporting those who breed simply because they have two dogs that are technically purebred (getting an akc registration is actually easier than you'd think) is supporting over breeding, even if the dogs are well cared for. These dogs are at best minimally medically tested with random temperament, and at worst, simply purebred with no testing in any way. Please do your research before buying.

Pet shops carry unethical dogs. Whether fad breeds or "rare" colors (i.e. nonconforming or not even possible colors like a silver lab which is a mix of a Weimaraner and a Labrador), an ethical breeder will not supply these shops.

Fad "breeds" are also something I struggle with. Many of these doodle mixes have become a bane on the dog world. They are cute and adorable, but often mixed with breeds that cause incompatible drives leading to heavy behavior problems being bred into them right from the start. Doodles are worse off due to their cuteness and being marketed as "great beginner dogs" which often translates to new owners as "needs minimal to no training/socialization". While doodles do bring in clients, I would rather they not. Same goes for many of these "purebred" crossbreeds, such as shepskies, pitskies, etc. These dogs are selling for high prices with breeds that should not mix and can cause at best challenging but high drive dogs and at worst a bit of a nightmare for most dog owners.

All that said, I support ethical breeders. I support buying a dog for a specific job (service, sport, search and rescue etc). And I support new owners looking for a more predictable dog with the lifelong support a breeder will bring to that dog. Buying responsibly is not a bad thing, and is what keeps some of these breeds alive.

Now, let's talk rescues. Rescue culture is interesting. Back when I was younger, we just called dogs from shelters/streets/oopsie litters mutts. Sometimes we got lucky and got a purebred from a shelter, and we'd say that was a lucky find (by the way, there are purebreed rescues and many dogs in shelters are purebred, often due to guardians not knowing the demands of a breed or overbreeding). The culture around mutts has shifted to become a more positive one. Now we say "rescue", seemingly referring to any dog that is not directly from a breeder or pet shop is a rescue. I have personally rescued dogs off the street. This is not a humble brag, just a statement of facts. Of those I picked up, several were in poor health and needed medical treatment, and many were just a little dirty and skinny in need of a bath and food. Of these, I kept none, but rehomed all of them.

I'm not here to gatekeep the term rescue, but to put some context into it. While I support adopting from shelters, there is a new culture of calling all dogs in a shelter a "rescue" even if the dog was born there, an owner surrender, or never in any medical/physical/mental trauma to begin with. This culture shift was to aid the shelters in moving dogs and encouraging guardians to "adopt not shop" wasn't enough. They needed to have people feel good about their dog in a way that was more than just "I didn't buy a puppy" so they shifted to calling all dogs rescues. I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing, but it leads to a ton of misconceptions.

Shelters are a traumatizing environment for dogs. Many dogs who are in a shelter long enough suffer mental trauma and can appear as though they were abused. It's very easy for a shelter or future guardian to talk about their dog in a way that personifies them (again, sometimes helpful, sometimes not) and paints a tragedy around a dog who probably was never abused but actually just needs help working through the trauma of just being in a shelter.

Why is this a problem? Well, it's because I meet guardians who assume nothing can be done, that this is "just the way she/he is" because "they were abused". They "hate men" so therefore "a man must have hurt them". So while they love their dog, they never seek the proper help for their dogs' mental state and the dog carries that trauma with them. But they do get to carry that badge of honor saying they "rescued" a dog, whether or not any abuse took place.

I have met puppies from a breeder (I actually have a client right now with this issue) that started from a breeder but was (in this specific case a covid puppy) undersocialized. These puppies turn into adult dogs that are fearful, skittish, and scared of things they weren't ever exposed to in a positive way. Things such as men in hats, tall people, people who are not in the household. These dogs duck and cower and bark. These dogs would appear to be "abuse cases" if they appeared in a shelter (and many of them do, because these behaviors can become overwhelming and guardians can feel too ashamed to return the dog to the breeder or worse, got it from an unethical breeder). Maybe their temperament was poorly bred, too, which compounded things. These dogs would end up in a shelter with a sob story and probably be adopted by kind hearted individuals who want to save the dog and tell everyone they rescued the dog.

This weird culture over having a "rescued dog" badge of honor leads many guardians who really would do better with an ethical breeder to adopt a shelter dog instead. And, as much as this pains me to say, shelter dogs (abused or not) are not for everyone. Shelter dogs can be a huge challenge. They have trauma, whether from the environment or the past, whether they are undersocialized or oversocialized. They will often come with behaviors that are not for the feint of heart, and certainly not for first time guardians. But people feel guilty buying from an ethical breeder and feel the need to defend their decision.

Marginal dogs are often adopted out to inexperienced guardians. Even going to an experienced guardian or trainer can cause rescue burn out. A family feeling the pressure of adopting and "rescuing" rather than getting a dog that is more practical for their lifestyle will adopt these dogs and sometimes get lucky, but often times end up with a dog they have no idea what to do with and may quickly return, leading to a revolving door for some dogs which adds to shelter trauma. A family who gets enough behavior problem dogs from a shelter without knowing where to find proper help ("this is just how they are because they were abused") WILL burn out and WILL make shelter dogs look like "all shelter dogs are bad dogs" and "all shelter dogs have behavior problems".

Shelter dogs are a big, beautiful unknown. They can be diamonds in the rough, or they can be a new learning experience for an upcoming dog trainer. They can be the inspiration for some to LEARN about training and behavior in dogs. They can be a therapy dog (Copper, who inspired my namesake, was such a dog), they can be a service dog, a sports dog, a working dog. They can be an anxious dog, a dog with separation anxiety, a dog with aggressive behavior towards certain triggers. They can be beautiful or funny looking (in the cutest ways) and graceful or clumsy as Scooby Doo (looking at Pancake right now). They can have past health issues that come back to haunt new owners or be more healthy than most purebreds.

So what does all of this mean? Who's better, purebreds or rescues?

I think the more important question is: what do you want in a dog, and what are you prepared to handle? Once you know that answer, you will know who is better for YOU.

Stop shaming ethical breeders. Stop shaming shelter dogs who have behaviors their guardians don't have the knowledge or resources to handle. Stop shaming those who bought from an unethical breeder unknowingly because they were never given the chance to learn. Stop shaming guardians who turn to breeders after having a bad experience with a shelter dog.

Educate. Show sympathy and kindness. Show them resources for any of these guardians. Why are huskies a challenging breed, and what can guardians do with a shelter dog that needs more help?

Dogs are dogs, and we love them. But we are doing a disservice by simply slotting them into "breeder vs rescue". We are ignoring the nuances of what these terms mean and we are not educating those who need it most to help those dogs who need it most.

We need to focus on our mutual love for dogs and educate those who do not have the knowledge, background, or resources to find it themselves.

As always, be kind to yourself, to your dogs, and to others. It is free to be kind.

[whumpcereal]

behavior modification, a valentine special

hi! long time, no see. i was home sick from work today and marathoning valentine movies, so here's some sentimental jack and joe for you. part of behavior modification (masterlist here), takes place sometime in the first year after jack's rescue, during his lawsuit against WRU for his freedom.

content warnings for: trauma responses, references to past noncon, tooth-rotting fluff

future snippet, sealed with a kiss

“Is this for your special someone?” 

The clerk’s smile is impossibly large; if she smiles any wider, Joe is convinced her face will crack. He understands. She’s probably asked this question at least seventy-five million times in the last week, and it’s a pointless one. Valentine cards are a perfunctory part of being in a relationship. Even if you don’t think your someone is all that special, you still buy them a card because that’s what the day demands. It’s part of the reason Joe never really cared about Valentine’s Day before. The forced displays of affection, the candy pink sheen of it all–it never seemed to reflect the kind of love Joe knew to be true. 

But this year, it’s different. This year, the clerk’s question isn’t so pointless. Joe looks down at the red envelope in his hand, and he cannot hide his own smile. “Yes, it is. Someone very special.” 

“Well, I’m sure she’ll love it!” the clerk sing-songs back. With a pop of her gum, she grabs the card and scans it. 

Joe doesn’t correct her. At least, not overtly. “I hope he does,” he says softly, but the clerk doesn’t look up. 

They never really celebrated Valentine’s Day before. Sure, Joe liked to rage against the consumer machine, but it was really Jack’s doing. Jack was indifferent, or, at least, he pretended to be. The truth was gift-giving occasions always made him a little uncomfortable. In Jack’s mind, gifts were offered only as part of a fucked-up trade; something he might want for something he certainly didn’t want to give. Joe had learned that the hard way. 

They had been seeing each other maybe a month at the time, but Jack was already spending most of his nights at Joe’s place, even if they hadn’t quite consummated their relationship yet. Joe didn’t know at the time that Jack had basically been squatting in the library study carrels and showering at the fitness center, but even if he had, he was more than happy to have Jack with him as much as possible. 

It had been a hard week. Jack was marking exams as well as taking his own, and Joe had been preparing for a conference; neither of them had come up for air in days. But when the grades were submitted and the presentation finalized, Joe thought they should celebrate. He thought he’d surprise Jack, and he brought home an expensive bottle of champagne and flowers. 

Jack had paled when Joe handed him the roses. “What are these for?” he’d asked. 

“For you, silly. For getting through this bear of a week.” Because I love you, Joe had thought but not said. It was too early. But he kissed Jack’s cheek, because that was something he was allowed to do. It made his body feel electric.

But when he pulled away, Jack was still staring at the roses. “Thank you.” He didn’t sound particularly thankful. 

“Are you okay?” 

A vacant nod. “Yeah. They’re beautiful. Thank you.” Jack set the roses down and turned toward the pantry. “Let me just get dinner started, and then–” 

“You don’t have to make dinner tonight, Jack.” It was before Jack was his Jackie. Before Joe knew what he knows now. “I thought we could kick back and relax. Celebrate.” 

“Of course,” Jack said softly, his chin dipping into the hollow of his throat. “Of course we’ll celebrate. I’ll take care of you.” 

Joe knows that tone of voice now. The faraway note that lets him know Jack is falling back into old habits, a tone that, these days, precipitates a whispered sir. But he didn’t know then.

He didn’t see the way that Jack gnawed on his lip for a split second before he launched himself bodily at Joe, their hips crashing together, Jack’s hands in Joe’s hair. Joe fumbled to set the champagne on the counter behind him, to wrap his hands around Jack’s waist, but Jack’s fingers were already plucking open Joe’s shirt buttons, his mouth close behind. Jack was on his knees so quickly that Joe wasn’t sure what was happening. 

“Jack–ohmygod, Jack.” 

It was everything Joe wanted, but he didn’t know yet that it wasn’t what Jack wanted. Not until he’d looked down and seen tears squeezing from Jack’s pruned eyelids. 

“Jack?” 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I can’t, I just–I know you deserve it. I know what you want. I’ll try again. I’m sorry.” 

It was then that Joe realized. The flowers. The champagne. Jack assumed they were all part of a transaction. 

Jack told him everything that night. About Bill and the others. And Joe learned. He never surprised Jack that way again. Even after Jack came home from WRU–no, especially then–Joe tried to avoid surprises. For Jack, tokens of affection were part and parcel of an economy where he was the commodity. Joe doesn’t want him to feel that way, not ever again. 

But a card. A card is different. 

Joe knows about WRU’s training protocol now. Jack is lucky. Those bastards may have burrowed their poison into his brain, but he still has his words; he can still read. It was one of the only things that gave him comfort when he came home. Books were some of the only things he didn’t ask to touch. Joe understands. Words matter more than things. 

The clerk pops her gum again. “You want a bag and a gold seal?” 

“No, that’s all right.” Joe manages to stop short of telling her that he’s going to seal this one with a kiss. 

“Well, have a happy Valentine’s day, sir.” 

“I will. Thank you.” 

The card is in its envelope when Joe lets himself into the apartment, and Jack is in the kitchen. The apartment is fragrant with a warm, red wine smell. Joe tiptoes to stand in the cheap stucco archway. He watches the way Jack’s basketball short-clad hips move softly to the old fashioned jazz that’s coming from the speaker on the counter. His body is shyer somehow, more tentative in its movements, but still lithe and beautiful. Jack is still Jack, even after everything he’s been through. 

Joe lets out a low whistle, and Jack turns, a pasta server in his hand and a shy smile on his lips. Joe’s knees practically buckle. 

“You’re home,” Jack says. 

“I’m home, baby.” Joe moves into the kitchen, and when Jack offers his lips, Joe takes them, resting a soft hand on Jack’s hip. “What are you making?” 

“Red wine pasta with toasted walnuts and arugula,” Jack says easily. He kisses Joe’s jawline. 

“I know what one of those things is.” 

Jack laughs. “My gourmand.” 

“Or something!” 

“How was your day, Joey?” Jack disengages slowly and goes to pour Joe a glass of wine. 

It’s a difficult question some days. Jack’s days are so different from Joe’s. He isn’t allowed to leave the apartment without supervision until the litigation with WRU is over. Until it’s done, Jack is still technically Joe’s property. But only technically. Joe reminds himself of that every day. 

“It was alright. I missed you.” But it’s easier now. Now, Joe has far fewer opportunities to miss his Jackie. 

Jack smiles, sneaking a sip from the glass before he hands it to Joe. “I missed you too.” 

Joe raises his glass and leans back against the cheap countertop. “I would’ve been home earlier, but I had to make a special stop.” 

Jack is back at the stove. He upends the wine bottle into a sauce pan, and a cloud of rich steam rises in its wake. “Why’s that?” 

“I wanted to get you a card for Valentine’s Day.” Joe says it gently, so that it will not be a surprise. 

Jack freezes, his hand hovering over the sauce pan for just a second, but then his shoulders relax. He peeks at Joe. “You? Mr. ‘Conversation-Hearts-Are-Nuggets-of-Corporate-Greed’?” 

Joe smothers his own smile. Jack remembers. “Yes, me.” He pulls the card from his pocket. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Jackie.” 

Jack puts a lid over the pan and turns around. “I didn’t get you anything.” 

“You’re all the gift I need,” Joe whispers, because it is true. Every one of the days he spends with Jack is a gift. He knew that even before, but every nerve in his body is certain of it now. 

Jack tries to roll his eyes, but Joe can see that his words have landed. “Well, thank you,” Jack says softly. His fingertips whisper against Joe’s when he reaches for the card. 

“Open it up, baby.” 

Jack complies, carefully opening the red envelope that Joe absolutely kissed without a hint of irony after he licked the seal and pressed it closed. The card itself isn’t so special; just the standard hearts and flowers schlock that all the stores sell this time of year. But Joe’s written his own message inside. He watches Jack’s eyes move like a typewriter carriage over his uneven scrawl. 

Jackie, 

I know we don’t usually do this, but I feel like I haven’t told you enough how grateful I am that you are home. Nothing felt right without you, and I know now that it never could. You are my home. You are stronger than any foundation, and I will never stop thanking God that you choose to be with me, even after everything you’ve been through. And it is your choice. You have every choice. You deserve that. 

I choose you, every day. I always will. 

Love, 

Joe 

When Jack looks up again, his blue eyes are glassy with tears. “Joey–” 

“I didn’t mean to–” 

Jack shakes his head. He folds the card carefully and stares down at it. “You didn’t. Joe?” 

Joe takes a hesitant step forward. “What is it, baby?” 

“I choose this. I do.” 

Jack reaches for him then, and Joe pulls Jack into his chest. “I know you do. And even if you didn’t or if–if someday, you don’t, I’ll always be grateful for this. Right now.” 

Jack lets Joe hold him, and Joe knows exactly what this moment is worth. He wraps his arms so tightly around Jack that, if he didn’t know exactly how strong Jack is, he might crush him. But no one can crush Jack, and Joe knows how to hold him. Joe knows how to give him room and keep him close all at once. Joe knows how to let him choose. 

taglist: @oddsconvert, @darkthingshappen, @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump, @sparrowsage, @aut0psy1, @mylifeisonthebookshelf, @termsnconditions-apply, @darlingwhump, @squishablesunbeam, @dont-be-gentle-please, @deltaxxk, @irishwhiskeygrl, @keeper-of-all-the-random-things, @hold-him-down, @peachy-panic, @whumpyblogthing, @sowhumpful, @considerablecolors, @ramadiiiisme, @sunnie, @sadboysanonymous, @panic-whump

[thejunglenook]

Real behavior modification with any species isn't flashy before & afters. It's slow to go fast & creating real emotional changes.

[submissivefeminist]

how long does such behavior modification by hypnosis last, usually?

There is no one answer to this. You can do behavior modification play that only lasts for the duration of the scene and you can do behavior modification play over years and decades to reinforce it for the rest of your life.

You can theoretically do behavior modification for as long as you'd like but it usually requires some kind of upkeep to reinforce it over time because triggers can fade if you don't use them.

[serenityquest]

[seducing-consent]

Have you ever noticed that the more you think, the more broken you feel? When's the last time you felt calm? Peaceful? Happy? I bet you weren't thinking at all, were you?

Which makes me wonder, what good has thinking ever brought you? Why think at all? Why not just stop? And be happy?

Next time you're feeling broken, think about that.

Or better yet, don't.

[whumpcereal]

I don't know what to ask! These things always intimidate me a little, like how am I worthy to be interacting with such amazing writers??

But let me think.... Ok can I ask how Jack and Joe's week has been?

💙💙💙

This ask is from forever ago, but I meant to thank you for it when you first sent it. But after all the kind words you had for The Kennel last night, I want to 1.) thank you again for being so kind to me and 2.) try to answer this. I obviously haven't been around as often, but I do still check in and think about my boys. Here goes nothing!

"You're not serious."

Jack looks back over his shoulder, and he tries not to laugh. Joe stands in the kitchen doorway, his face frozen in horror and his eyes fixed firmly on the mottled blue-red lobster that Jack holds pinched between his thumb and forefinger. Jack should have known he wouldn't get away with this--or at least, that Joe wouldn't let the occasion pass without protest. This is, after all, a man who became a vegetarian because of his mother's highland cow wall calendar.

"You don't have to eat it, Joey."

"Neither do you," Joe replies. "You could let him go right now."

Jack sets the lobster back into the open cooler at his feet and closes the lid. "Where would you propose I do that?"

"We live on the water."

"I don't think he's from Long Island Sound. It wouldn't be very nice to abandon him so far from home."

Joe's lips purse. "You're going to boil that poor animal alive."

"That's how it's done, my love." Jack nudges the cooler with his stocking toe. "He's been chilling in there all day. He won't even feel it."

Joe stares at the cooler with disgust. "How do you know?"

"I suppose I don't. But Hallie--"

"--do not blame this on our child--"

Jack sets gentle hands on Joe's shoulders. "Hallie asked if she could try lobster."

"She wouldn't have asked if she knew that it was going to turn you into a murderer."

Jack snorts. "Well, she made a concession. I offered her crab--then I wouldn't have to do the killing--but she said Sebastian was a crab, and she didn't want to eat Sebastian."

"You walked her past the lobster tank, didn't you?"

"Yes. I am a monster. "

"Jackie--"

"She said they looked like big bugs. I guess no one's anthropomorphized lobsters yet."

Joe doesn't quite know what to say, and Jack knows it. He presses a kiss to his husband's lips.

"I promise, it will be over fast."

Joe looks down at the cooler with a sigh. "That's what they all say."

"If it's any consolation, I think Hallie only wants to try it because she gets to dip it in butter."

"Butter?"

"Yessir," Jack says, wrapping his arms around Joe's waist. "Drawn butter." He kisses Joe's neck. "I got some fresh sourdough for you," he whispers. "And your own butter warmer. They sit on top of candles. It'll be romantic."

Joe groans as Jack's teeth nibble at the meat between his neck and shoulder. Jack could certainly never be a vegetarian.

"Careful, Dr. Prescott. We need to keep it PG until Hallie's in bed."

Joe's hips buck forward. His voice is breathless. "You started it. You're just trying to--to--"

"Butter you up?" Jack says with a grin.

Joe laughs. "I love you, even if you're about to murder an innocent crustacean."

"I love you too. Now, get out of my kitchen. I want you to have plausible deniability."

[heart-of-copper-dog-training]

An honor and a chore

Saw a post recently and this was how a trainer described owning a dog.

I can't say I disagree. It IS an honor to own one. They are living creatures who want to give us unconditional love and we should feel honored by that.

But it IS also a chore. Owning a dog isn't easy. If I were to add to the statement, I'd say it's a privilege.

Not everyone can afford the medical needs of a dog.

But even MORE people can't afford the TIME needed for a dog.

Time for training. Time for enrichment. Time for play. Time for exercise.

Your dog is a living creature. You can't just keep them in a crate for eight hours a day while you go to work. You can't just pop in quickly for a pee break midday and say that you've provided what your dog needs.

If you can't own a dog without having them in a crate for the entire work day (without a daycare, a sitter, a walker, someone at home), you can't ETHICALLY own a dog.

We are dog GUARDIANS. We are their GUIDES. We are NOT their OWNERS in anything other than the legal sense.

Consider what you CAN do for your dog BEFORE you get a dog. They are an honor to own, a privilege.

But they are a chore, too. They are a lifestyle choice. You have to be ready for that change, or quickly able to adapt if you underprepared. Stop and think, make an EDUCATED CHOICE to bring a dog into your life. They are not toys. They are not robots.

We are their Guardians and we need to act like it.