#Beej babe I love you

[youngpettyqueen]

BJ drives terribly all of one time and I latch onto that and go "yeah ur just dogshit at it buddy"

[cxtxphile]

we're going to get a little scene in bj2 where beej is eating rory but its just this

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Ashes to Ashes (Beetlejuice One-Shot)

Betelgeuse x GN!Reader / 18+ / requests are open

Summary: Beej does not love it when you talk to strangers at the bar. He likes it even less when you laugh at their jokes.

Fic type: smut

EVERYTHING: @winchxters @calliopesdiary @xxxsugarcyanidexxx

BEETLEJUICE: @im-eating-rn (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Not so fuckin' funny now, huh?" BJ snorts, fingers wrapped around your throat just the way you like. He's got a cigarette dangling from his lips- something that he only does when he's feeling dominant, feeling possessive. When he wants you to think he doesn't care. It's just an act, of course, and if you were to ask him to stop, he would but he knows you like it when he plays mean.

He is mean, technically.

"F-fuck, Beej, I'm sorry," you gasped between short breaths. Fucking hell his fingers felt good on your throat. The added chill of his skin just set your body off with tingles.

"Were his jokes funny, babe? Funnier than mine? What, think he can make you cum harder than I can, huh? Please, you'd be fuckin lost without me an' my magic fuckin' fingers buried in that cunt."

True, but he'd be lost without you, too. That's what this was, a display of his affection in his own fucked up way. In your way, too.

"Look at'cha, fucked dumb already and I've barely even touched you. Bet if I held on tight enough you'd cum over my hand on your throat, wouldn't you?" He snorted again before snapping his fingers with his other hand- suddenly, you were sat on his moth-eaten lounge, his hand still caught tight around your windpipe. He had you on his lap, straddling one suit-striped thigh.

"Go on, then, fuck yourself dumb on my leg, babe. Y'know y'wanna." A slick smile slid across his features as he pulled your face closer so he could plant his tongue on your cheek and trail it up the side of your face. "I know y'wanna, too, dollface."

His fingers loosened to allow more air through your windpipe and you sagged against him with the rush of it. Not that you couldn't breathe before, but you just felt giddy with the rush of it.

Experimentally, you rolled your hips against his thigh, delighting in the jolt of pleasure that rolled up your spine. Betelgeuse took another puff of his cigarette, looking almost completely unbothered.

"What, that all you got? Jeez, what d'I even keep you around for, eh?"

His nonchalant attitude and mean words should not have turned you on as much as they did, and neither should the way he exhaled his cigarette smoke in your face. But it did. You felt a bloom of heat unfurl in your lower belly.

"Gettin' off t'bein bullied now, huh, babe? Interesting," he inhaled once more. Blowing it out the side of his mouth, he added, "Yeah, don't think I didn' notice that. Y'can't fuckin lie to me, babe."

Unconsciously, you chewed on the inside of your lip, in thought over this revelation. Beej sighed exasperatedly as he reached into your mouth and pulled your lip from the confines of your teeth.

"Don' do that- now, if you're done fuckin thinkin', hurry up and make yourself cum if you wanna keep daddy happy, baby."

You didn't need to be told twice. Picking up the pace, you rolled your hips against the smooth fabric of his trousers. BJ threw one arm around the back of the couch and held his cigarette in the other. He watched you, looking almost bored as you brought yourself to a whimpering mess for him.

He may have been trying to appear bored, but he could never hide that adoring little glint in his eye when he was truly enamoured by something you were doing. Rolling your hips and losing yourself to pleasure you were creating for yourself was something he could never get used to watching, but he sure did want to try.

"C'mon baby," he sighed, flicking the ashes so they fell over your flushed skin. "You can do it, yeah. Fuckin' cum for me."

You whimpered, hand reaching out to grab at his clothed bicep. Betelgeuse clicked his tongue but didn't remove your arm, watching as your movements grew jerky and your moans cut off in soft hitches of breath.

Another roll, two, and sparks shot from your nerve endings. Your thighs tightened around his own and Betelgeuse's hand slid down from the back of the lounge to curl around your hip, squeezing hard enough to hurt.

You groaned, hips slowly coming to a stop. You leaned forward, resting your forehead in the crook of his neck as you panted heavily with the comedown.

Beej reached around your neck to take one last puff before he put out the cigarette on the back of the couch like the grub he is. You peppered hot, open-mouthed kisses to his relatively cold skin, and he turned to pull you into a proper kiss.

"There now see," he grumbled, though the quirk of a smile told you he wasn't that upset any more. "No more fuckin talkin' to guys at the bar, babe, yeah?"

"Yes sir," you answered, tired and sated.

[beetleoops]

You keep getting married to Beetlejuice

This fucker loves to party (and he loves you), so you are having weddings constantly

You officially get married in private, with only Lydia, the Deetzs and the Maitlands there. You take it easy so he can adjust to being alive, but Delia still throws a pretty fun party- if a little...odd. Still, it's enough for Beetlejuice to learn his alcohol tolerance isn't NEARLY as high now that he has a heartbeat.

"Babes!! I cannot fuckin wait to get married to you all over again." He's half asleep, laying his entire weight on you, reeking of booze, smiling like a dope. "Uh-huh. Me too, Beej." You pat his back.

(Also, turns out now that he sleeps for real, he snores. you think its cute.)

Once he's human (and more or less used to it), you have a more traditional wedding with your friends and family all there, and throw an all night reception and after party at a bar - beej loves the energy and is cheering on your grandparents to throw ass on the dance floor all night

"Fuck it up Agnes! Hell yeah!" (This is probably not your grandma's name. Actually, is that even your grandma?)

This goes over not great, but better than expected; everyone has a good time. You do too, of course. You are drunk and wearing white and laughing so loud, and when you aren't dancing, Beetlejuice can barely keep his hands off you. Hell, when you ARE dancing Beetlejuice can't keep his hands off you.

you go to Las Vegas for the honeymoon and get married again - Beej insists on the most tacky wedding possible and you agree.

You get married by an Elvis impersonater in a sticky little chapel on the strip. You wear a suit, and he wears a tight, short wedding dress with a veil and pumps.

"third time's the charm?" You ask, when Elvis finally says to kiss the groom. " Oh no, babes. We're hitting the drive through wedding chapel next."

"Deal!" And you dip him before kissing him square in the mouth.

You keep getting married to Beetlejuice, because you both want to make fucking SURE it sticks.

[blackenedsnow]

If you’re lookin’ for requests could we get a continuation of your Beetlejuice fic? Like, what sorts of things does Beej do through the house/apartment to prank you? What’s he do when/if you have to leave to go to work? I imagine he’d tag along incognito sometimes. How would that go? (I don’t send many fic requests so if this is a weird way to do it I’m sorry. But I figured if you’re asking for them I can brainstorm a little 😅)

dead guys got it made

WARNING: None

PAIRING: Beetlejuice x Reader

NOTE: No need to apologize! I love the direction you're taking with this. I'd be happy to continue the story!!

SUMMARY: Chaos ensues, of course

PART ONE: Here

The days after your reluctant agreement to let Beetlejuice stay in your home were, in a word, chaotic. He seemed to take your "don’t destroy the place" comment as more of a suggestion than an actual rule. Sure, he didn’t tear down walls or summon any maggots (yet), but there was plenty of mischief to go around.

You woke up one morning to find your living room furniture rearranged—your couch upside down on the ceiling, the TV somehow playing reruns of sitcoms from the ‘80s, and the floor covered in what looked like tiny plastic insects. You groaned, rubbing your temples as Beetlejuice appeared next to you, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"Pretty good, huh?" he asked, looking up at the couch hanging from the ceiling. "Took me all night, but I think it really adds to the ambiance."

"BJ," you muttered, staring at the mess, "how many times do I have to tell you? No messing with the furniture."

He cackled, snapping his fingers. Instantly, the room righted itself—couch back on the floor, TV back to normal. But the plastic bugs? Still there. "Alright, alright, no more redecorating. But I gotta keep things interesting, babes. Can’t have you getting bored, now can we?"

You bent down to scoop up the bugs, sighing. "I’m starting to think my life was less stressful before you showed up."

"Ah, but way more boring," Beetlejuice quipped, following you into the kitchen as you grabbed a coffee mug. "Admit it, you’d miss me if I wasn’t around to spice things up."

You ignored him, focusing instead on your workday ahead. “I’ve got to head to work soon,” you said, mostly to yourself, as you filled your mug. “You’re staying here today, right?”

“Sure, sure,” he said with a wave of his hand, leaning against the counter. “I’ll be good. Maybe I’ll watch some TV, raid your fridge, haunt your neighbors—you know, normal dead guy stuff.”

You shot him a look, trying to gauge how much of that was a joke. You were still figuring him out, trying to balance how much you could tolerate and how much you liked having him around. It was… complicated. But lately, the thought of leaving him alone in your home was almost more stressful than having him tag along. Still, you weren’t sure you could handle Beetlejuice at work, of all places.

"Alright," you said, setting your mug down, "I’ll trust you. Just… try not to haunt anyone this time, okay?"

Beetlejuice smirked, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “Cross my heart, babe,” he said, drawing a line over his chest. You didn’t trust that for a second, but you had no choice but to leave him behind and head out.

At Work

Everything seemed fine at first. You settled into your routine, the normalcy of it all providing a brief reprieve from your unusual houseguest. But then, halfway through the morning, you noticed something off.

Your pen was missing. And not just missing—floating midair, inches from your hand.

"Beetlejuice.," you hissed under your breath, scanning the room for any sign of him. Sure enough, from the corner of your eye, you saw a familiar flash of black and white dart behind a filing cabinet.

Of course he’d followed you. You should’ve known.

“Get back here,” you muttered, glancing around to make sure no one else saw the floating pen.

Suddenly, Beetlejuice appeared right next to you, leaning against your desk with a smug grin. He was dressed in some sort of disguise—a ridiculous pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap that didn’t hide anything. “Nice place you got here, babe. Real lively.”

You groaned, dropping your head into your hands. “I told you to stay at home.”

“Yeah, well, I got bored,” he said with a shrug. “Thought I’d see how my favorite breather spends their day.”

“This is not going to end well,” you mumbled, already dreading the inevitable..

The At-Work Antics

Beetlejuice, to his credit, tried to behave—for all of five minutes. Then the pranks began. It started small: pens going missing, your keyboard typing random words on its own. But as the day wore on, he grew bolder.

At one point, your boss, Mr. Thompson, came by to drop off some news. You tried to stay focused, nodding along as he talked, but out of the corner of your eye, you saw Beetlejuice sneaking up behind him, his eyes full of mischief.

"Don’t," you mouthed, but it was too late.

With a flick of his hand, Beetlejuice made Mr. Thompson’s tie start dancing—literally. The fabric wriggled and twisted as though it had a life of its own, and you watched in horror as your boss froze, staring down at his tie in confusion.

“What the—” Mr. Thompson muttered, tugging at the tie, but it kept moving.

You shot Beetlejuice a death glare, mouthing “Stop it” as discreetly as possible. He just winked, looking way too pleased with himself, and finally let the tie drop limp again.

Mr. Thompson blinked, bewildered, but seemed to shake it off. “Must be static or something,” he muttered before walking off, completely unaware of the ghostly trickster behind him.

You exhaled in relief. “Beej, I swear…”

“Hey, I didn’t get caught, did I?” Beetlejuice cackled, clearly enjoying himself. “Lighten up, honey. You gotta admit, that was funny.”

“You’re going to get me fired,” you hissed, though you couldn’t completely stifle the laugh bubbling up in your chest.

For the rest of the day, Beetlejuice stayed close, pulling small pranks here and there. A co-worker’s coffee inexplicably turned neon green, another’s stapler kept vanishing from their desk. Every time you saw that flash of stripes, your heart raced in equal parts anxiety and amusement.

After Work

By the time you made it home, you were exhausted. Beetlejuice had finally vanished, likely slipping back to your home long before you could leave. When you walked through the door, he was sprawled across the couch as usual, looking far too smug.

“Fun day at work?” he asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

“You’re a menace,” you muttered, dropping your bag on the floor. “A complete and utter menace.”

“And yet, you didn’t banish me,” he shot back, his grin widening. “So… you really do love having me around.”

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t quite argue with him. As frustrating as it was having him tag along—and as much as he drove you crazy—you had to admit, life was a lot less lonely with him in it.

“Maybe,” you muttered, flopping onto the couch beside him. “Just… try not to get me fired next time, alright?”

Beetlejuice chuckled, tossing an arm around your shoulders. “No promises, toots. But I’ll try not to ruin your life.”

It wasn’t much, but it was something.

[irantforpleasure]

Anyone ever have thoughts of the reader being a fairly nice person who gets sick of it and wants to go apeshit?

And Beej has always said you can summon him anywhere, anytime you want and he’s always going on and on about how he loves terrifying people, why can’t you ever indulge yourself?

Imagine you’re stuck at work with your asshole boss and co-workers (and customers if it’s retail) and finally snap.

“Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!”

He appears in a cloud of smoke “Calling in the middle of the day? Someone missed me-“

He then notices the room’s full of people, some of whom are already screaming.

“Babes you know you’re not alone right?”

You grab yank his tie, pulling him face to face. Pink stripes springing up in his hair. “Ohhh I know, get them get all!” You take a beat then give him a quick peck “…pleeeease~”

He’s the happiest you ever seen him “Don’t have to tell me twice!”

Queue rampage then fucking him against the wall of the torn apart building before the police arrive.

[fedcrypt]

THE WAYWARD HOME

beetlejuice verse x female!reader

WRITING WARNINGS: established relationship with lydia deetz, beej is here and is bestie coded, also reader can feel energies and see ghosts when she channels into her ability!

XOXO, CHESHIRE — i love lydia sm and i wanted to make a really small ramble about the beautiful house that the deetz found and took from barbara and adam after their passing plus how beej would react to lydia finding someone <3!

the moment that lydia had brought her home, she had felt a safe comforting presence in that seemingly interesting house that everyone was curious about. y/n had felt at home, alongside her girlfriend.

there was something, some form of energy that resided here, one that made her happy and the poor girl couldn’t figure out what that was. maybe it was the deranged artwork that was put outside in the front yard.

maybe it was the nice dark wooden tones mixed with the pretty wallpaper upon the walls that gave it a similar sense to a nice little funky shaped cottage. maybe it was the small yet sensible kitchen that had been redone and made more modern by lydia’s step mother who hadn’t fully destroyed the previous style of the home during a second remodel.

it seemed like a lot of memories were made in that kitchen even with the remodel and it made the young woman smile softly to herself as she stood there while lydia awkwardly explained the situation of changing up the kitchen. the energy that sounded throughout the kitchen made y/n perk up even more as she felt someone staring at her from the entryway of the kitchen. she knew that lydia and herself were the only ones in the house and perhaps it was one of the rumored ghosts that the town had spread around.

her (e/c) eyes scanned around the room until it lead her to the doorway where she saw a man dressed in a black and white striped suit grinning wildly at her and she knew it meant trouble. “oh dude, the green really doesn’t go with the outfit.” y/n remarked before she could stop herself and her girlfriend immediately stopped rambling about some appliance in the kitchen before turning to face the (h/c) haired woman.

“lydia, babes, how dare you break my heart like this?” the ghoulish man remarked as he placed two hands over his heart to make a jointed fist and collapsed onto the ground upon the sight of seeing his beloved lydia with someone else. “you are quite literally the most dramatic thing i’ve seen.” y/n quipped with a grin as she saw the green haired man look up at her with quirked brows and a smirk upon his face.

“you can see him?!” the raven haired woman nearly screeched as she looked between her ghostly bestfriend and her lover. “surprise i’ve seen ghosts and others since i was a child.” the other woman replied as she chuckled and helped the ghost, who was begging her with a look similar to puppy eyes, off of the ground and he was quick to pull her down with him. “oh babes can we keep her? please, oh please, oh pretty please.”

beetlejuice had glanced over at lydia whom was grinning and trying to stop herself from laughing about the situation. “hmmm i guess she’s alright to keep around.” lydia teased as her girlfriend gasped at the absurdly of her teasing words which was nearly drowned out by beetlejuice’s loud cackling as he grabbed lydia’s hand and pulled her down with them, leaving the three of them intertwined in a weird embrace upon the marble flooring, which was the sight that had greeted barbara and adam, a few moments later.

[itsaship-literally]

𝘽𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙡𝙚𝘽𝙖𝙗𝙚𝙨: 𝘼 𝙃𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮

Reposted

There are many names for the ship and friendship of the dynamic duo known simply by their names: Beetlejuice and Lydia Deetz.

In the beginning, they were considered a horror-comedy icon. She is strange and unusual. She wants to die and be part of the land of the recently deceased. He is wild. A pure chaos machine who lives up to his side of the deal. He knows the ins and outs of the hereafter and wants to get the fuck out. For good.

Lo and behold! The trope of a quid pro quo marriage. He gets out. Her friends are saved from an unknown doom.

Then marketing took over. Merchandise! Toys! And ultimately a cartoon. Who would be the star of Beetlejuice: The Animated Series.

Well, Beetlejuice, of course. And why not make it friendly to the kid's world by taking the youngest character and making her more vulnerable and spooktacular? They could have carried the show without a Lydia but they chose not to do this.

They chose the one girl in the movie he tried to marry: deal or no deal. The girl was in a wedding dress and instead of making them enemies... They make them friends. Friends who share and anniversary, terms of endearments, and blatant flirtations.

Thus, the first shippers were born—a bunch of kids who saw two chaotic characters who were perfectly balanced with each other. We grew up, and so OUR IDEA of Lydia grew with us. Granted, a few of us are freaky and wanna jump the ghost, but rarely will you see a shipper want to split up the duo.

Now for the names; Beetlejuice x Lydia, Beetlyds, Beetz and Deetz, Beetz, Beej and Lyds, Beetle and Babes and now, unintentionally, Beetlebabes.

Ironically this was not the intended name for the ship. We (as in my friends and I) called ourselves Beetle Babes. As in We are the Babes. Fans, mostly ladies, who love to obsess over a ghost from an old 80’s franchise.

The second meaning came naturally because, Didn't BJ call Lydia ”Babes”? Yes, he did in almost every episode. Lyds, Babes, Lydia. Three names he uses for her his best friend.

So Beetlebabes became an easy identifyer for the crew. And it became a standard name for shippers when the new fans came in, but I bet you didn't know that some OG Beetlebabes only Friend-Ship them? And some Relation-Shippers don't like smut or sexual content of any kind.

Beetlebabes are Kids, Teens, and Adults. They are students, parents, CSA survivors, therapists, cooks, homemakers, artists, animators, and filmmakers. They are strangers on the street who don’t even know the musical came to be and only remember the deadly duo through fond memories of two close pals who, for all we knew, were living out their impromptu wedding in the only way they know how.

Now, as I update this, we have a new movie in which Beetlejuice and Lydia are once again affianced. BJ refers to her as the love of his life, bringing more shippers into the fold.

So here we are, The Beetlebabes. We ship the gal who wants death and the ghost who wants life. The balance. The dichotomy. The polar opposites.

This has been the revisit of the history of Beetlebabes. I hope you all are enjoying your time in the fandom and you all have my best wishes to stay happy, healthy, and creative.

Keep being awesome, Babes! 🖤

[eyecan02]

Keeping My Expectations Low But Here Are a Few Scenes I Can See Happening in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.

1.) Beetlejuice offering his lap for Lydia to sit on during his train driving scene or her falling into his lap due to the bumpy train ride.

2.) Beetlejuice asking Lydia how someone hasn't wifed her up yet and that's when she explains that she's technically engaged/getting married in a couple of days. Cue jealous Beej scene.

3.) Beetlejuice lecherously suggesting that they have their honeymoon in Hawaii (as a sort of reference to Tim's original sequel script).

4.) During their dance, it dawns on Lydia that Beetlejuice's feelings for her are real and she says, "You don't even really know me. How can you be in love with me?" To which, Beetlejuice replies with, "Babe, how could anyone not instantly love you?"

5.) Lydia ends up choosing to save Beetlejuice from Delores, claiming "Til death do us part were our vows. His soul is not yours to take."

6.) Lydia gives Beetlejuice a kiss on the cheek (maybe after he saves her from the sandworm) and thanks him for helping her get her daughter back.

7.) So due to THAT ONE spoiler that most of us have heard, it leads me to think that Beetlejuice might have access to the living world by the end of the film, which leads me to a fun idea that Beetlejuice could star as a guest on Lydia's show.

[beetled-juice]

Pink Cloud

@frog-scream your post shook the cobwebs from my brain, so please accept my humble offering of my take on your idea.

I wrote this in 20 minutes at 5 in the morning btw, please forgive me

NSFW content is implied in this, but you don't actually get any (unlike Beej)

It was only after you’d both fallen onto the bed more naked than clothed that you noticed the curtains were open.

At first you’d tried to pry him off of you so you could get up and close them, mortified at the idea of the neighbors seeing something they shouldn’t, but Beetlejuice can be very persuasive when he chooses to be. His hands had traced up and down your sides, and his mouth had quickly captured yours to stop any protesting on your part. The feeling of him pressed up against you coupled with the few extra hands incessantly tugging at your remaining clothing had distracted you enough to forget about the window, and instead you fell back into the gentle heat sparking between you.

It was only now as you both tried to catch your breath that you saw the open curtains again. You couldn’t find it in yourself to feel embarrassed, or to even care if someone had seen anything - not so long as you had Beetlejuice sprawled out on the bed next to you. His fingers were absentmindedly tracing patterns along your skin, and he was chattering away about something that probably wasn’t best suited for “pillow talk”. Looking past him to the window, you could see the last rays of the day’s light casting a pink and orange glow on the clouds as they floated past. The room was now lit with the warm glow of early evening, softening the edges of everything as it filled the space. A quick glance back at Beetlejuice quickly turned into unabashed staring as you realized that his hair was the same blush pink as the sky. You wanted nothing more than to reach out and bury your hands in it, wondering if it would feel the same as if you were touching the clouds.

“…and then, I possessed the frogs an-, wait, babes, are you listening? The kid's bio class loved this shit!” Shaken from your thoughts, you reached forward to pull him into a slow and gentle kiss. You slipped your fingers up into his hair, scratching at his scalp before threading the strands between your fingers. While they were definitely greasier and more gunk-filled than a cloud could ever be, they had a silky softness that so perfectly embodied their cotton candy color. Breaking the kiss with a quiet sigh, you pulled away to settle back on the bed. Beetlejuice still had his eyes closed, but after a moment he slowly blinked them open.

“What was that about?” he asked, his dark eyes wide as he melted into your side. Shaking your head, you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him closer.

“Oh nothing, just… you were right not to close the curtains,” you said, pressing a kiss to his still-pink hair.

“Oh, is that why you were so worked up? The thought of people seeing us do it? Babes, I knew you had a freaky side just waiting to come out! Hey, next time we could have the window open too, give the neighbors a little audio with the visual if you get what I mean.” Rolling your eyes, you let him ramble on about the inappropriate and potentially illegal things he’d like to try, all the while watching as the pink faded from the sky. Though the sun was rapidly setting and taking its light with it, you were content to hold your own personal pink cloud in your arms for the rest of the night.

[obsessive-ego]

Ik usually in beej fics we know the deetzes or delia first and then meet him but imagine Beej bragging about having a pretty little breather babe wrapped around his finger (except he'd say dic-) and no one believes that (they're trying to be nice about it cause they like him now but still) until bugwine over here finally brings his sweet living lover to the maitland-deetz home and everyone's like ???? Literally what??? Story. Now. How did this happen???

That's really cute

Beetlejuice pulling you into a side hug. "Told ya, I had a sweet little breather to call my own♡"

The family is in shock. He was telling the truth?!

Charles clears his throat. "How did you two become acquainted?"

Beetlejuice snorts out a laugh. "Funny story, Chuck, this sexy little thing bought a used oujia board and we've been inseparable ever since-"

"We were until the 'ghost hunter' sent you away, I just want to thank you all so much for bringing him back to me, I hope he wasn't too much trouble" you scratch under the ghoul's chin and he purrs, his hair shifting to pink

The family couldn't believe it. A single breather brought this demon to his knees with nothing but simple loving gestures

...

Also, the idea of the events of the musical being told to y/n

Y/n: you tried to marry a kid?!

Beej: You know how I get carried away, babes, and besides, it was just a green card thing-

Y/n grumbling to themselves: you could have asked me if you wanted to be alive so bad

Beej: 👀👀👀

[leeeeeeeeech]

Love Bug

"Come on, you know you love it." Beetlejuice sent a kiss your way, completely oblivious to the seething rage you were barely holding back. Normally pranks didn't bug you this much, but after an almost 15 hour work day, you were beyond overstimulated, and at your wit's end. The kitchen was completely trashed. The fridge's door was hanging by its hinges, and most of the food was in gooped up heaps on the floor. Pots and pans lay like fallen soldiers on the linoleum.

A sigh escaped you as you went to the cleaning closet. You figured it was better to just clean up the mess then go to bed. You didn't want your anger to get the better of you, no matter how much Beetlejuice probably deserved to be blown up at.

"Babes?" Beetlejuice followed you, floating just a little behind, and kept his distance from the closet because of obvious reasons.

"Not now Lawrence!" You snapped, grabbing the mop and some gloves. He flinched at your tone. He knew he fucked up, but this solidified just how colossally.

"Alright Y/n, I'll admit that I got a little carried away," He rolled his eyes before snapping his fingers, and the mess cleaned itself up in a whirlwind of green smoke. " There! All fixed!" He gestured to the kitchen as it sparkled in cleanliness. You set the mop and gloves aside and crossed your arms.

"It's not fixed until you apologize, Beej." You spoke softer now, though still irritated. He seemed to mull it over for a couple seconds then shrug his shoulders.

"Well alright, I guess I owe you." He feigned an apologetic face, all while waggling his eyebrows at you. Before you could begin to question what that meant, his lips crashed into yours.

"Mmh!" His lips were freezing cold, and you could feel his moldy stubble scratch your face uncomfortably. Yet, you found yourself kissing back. The shock factor was over as quickly as it started.

He leaned in further, smushing you against the nearest wall. His hand trailed itself up your side and quickly squeezed your hip before resting on the back of your neck. You groaned and reached out your hands to ruffle Beetlejuice's hair in return. You could feel your lungs about to burst from lack of oxygen. You whapped Beetlejuice on the shoulder a couple times.

He pulled back, looking at you with an expression you've never seen on him before. Even though he didn't breathe (As far as you knew) he was mirroring your panting, his pupils were blown, and his hair was bright with pink highlights as he stared just past your shoulder at the wall. The pink had tiny whisps of yellow within them that became more and more apparent the longer you stared. Even though you weren't sure what the colors meant, you knew you should say something to break the tension.

"Apology accepted."

[heknowshisherbs]

"i never loved you" / "i'll never love you"

pairing: musical!beetlejuice x reader warnings: cursing, beej is uhh,,,, Not Nice™ word count: 1,003 author's note: i believe this was for a request based on a list of prompts i had posted? like i said, i'm rebuilding this blog from the ground up, but i will try my best to give as much context as i can. as always, i hope you enjoy! ◡̈

Beetlejuice never stayed put for long; he constantly bounced from place to place trying to find someone, anyone, who could see him and say his name. He’d made it around the world three times before he finally found someone-- in the middle-of-nowhere Massachusetts of all places. He had been holed up in some rickety old house, and was doing pretty well for himself, thank you very much, until some breathers moved in; they’d just graduated from college and were planning on fixing up the house. Great. There were five of them, each one more unbearable than the last— so it seemed. The last breather to move in, a girl, was different.

He’d noticed a change in atmosphere the moment she entered the house, and was drawn to her immediately. He spent his days following her around the house, going wherever she went. He watched her eat, watched her sleep. He knew the exact pitch of her soft snores and the sounds she made in her most intimate moments late at night, with her hands between her legs when she thought she was alone. She thought.

Beetlejuice noticed she’d always look over her shoulder, and at first he chalked it up to paranoia but then he realized she could feel him in the room. He wasted no time in trying to see how long it would take for her to notice him. Eventually, he’d gathered enough strength to leave his business card on her bed— the rest is history. She just wanted to be noticed, he just wanted someone to fuck. It was perfect.

He didn’t plan on staying as long as he did. If he hadn’t known any better he would’ve even said they became friends, but he’s a demon. He knows better. She let her guard down around him and he let her into the dark crevices of his mind. Y/N would spend every spare moment with him, they’d fuck like rabbits, and then Beej would sleep in her bed. This cycle continued for a year. It would’ve gone on longer, maybe forever, but she had to go and fuck it up.

The day it happened everything was normal; Y/N had come home from work and immediately crawled into Beetlejuice’s arms; he’d waited in her bed all day. In the last year, the two had gotten intimate beyond sex- they’d cuddle, they’d hold hands, they’d kiss— so of course it wasn’t shocking when Beetlejuice planted a soft kiss to her lips as she snuggled against him, “How was work, babes?”

“It was fine— Callie is still a bitch but it’s whatever.”

“Want me to kill her for you?” The corners of his lips perk up. She won’t say yes but a demon can hope, right?

“No! God, Beetlejuice!” She rolls her eyes before settling against his chest and turning on Netflix.

They sat in silence for a while, sneaking in a kiss or two between particularly boring parts of their show. Y/N liked the distraction; she’d felt anxious all day and it was nice to get out of her own head. She could instead focus on how nicely his cool body fit against hers, and ground herself with the earthy smell of his hair that she’d come to love so much. She’d come to love everything about Beetlejuice, if she was being honest. He had to have known, but she hadn’t said it out loud yet. Neither had he. 

Taking all of this into consideration while lying there with Beej, feeling happier than she’d ever been, she decided now was as good a time as ever to do it to do it. “I love you, Beej.” 

That’s when everything stopped. “You what?” 

“I-I love you?” The anger in his voice was unmistakable, and Y/N didn’t understand what she did wrong. They’d been playing this game for a year, and, to her, it was obvious they both love each other so it was about time one of them said it.

“Don’t say that.” His voice sounds toneless, his phrasing curt. “Don’t do that, Y/N."

She feels herself beginning to panic. “I just thought we were-”

“You thought we were what? You thought we were dating?” She gave him a meek, pathetic nod and he laughed. Right in her face, “Babes, all we’ve been doing is fucking."

“But… you love me?” She hadn’t meant for it to come out as a question, but it did. She felt so helpless, so small, sitting across from the demon she thought she knew so well. She’d taken to staring at the floor, unable to meet his contemptuous gaze any longer— why was he going out of his way to hurt her? Everything about the situation made her head hurt. Beetlejuice acted like her boyfriend, she didn't understand.

“Now who told you that?” He put a finger under her chin and forced her to look up at him; there’s a smile on his face, but it didn’t reach his eyes, “Babes, I’ll never love you.”

“I-I don’t-”

“Y/N, I’m a demon. Did you really think I would ever be capable of loving you?” Sure, he led her on, but what was a guy supposed to do? She was soft, and warm, and gullible; it had barely taken anything to get her to fuck him. He’s a demon with needs. She fulfilled those needs— nothing more.

She let out a whimper and bit her lip to prevent herself from crying, but a tear escaped the confines of her eyes and slide down her cheek. Beetlejuice wasted no time in wiping it away with his finger, “Don’t take it personal, sweets— I don’t love anyone.” Not even myself.

He looked terrifying— his expression was cold and, for the first time since meeting him, his hair changed colors. It became a deep shade of blue, and if Y/N hadn’t been so hurt and angry she would have questioned it. “You’re a monster,” she spat, unable to even look at him. Refusing to look at him.

"And don’t you ever forget it.”

[babsybabydrabbles]

Aloe Vera

Cross-posted to my ao3: Cepheid_Variable

Beetlejuice x Reader: You get sunburned, and Beetlejuice wants to help. Massage + love confessions = smut because duh.

You swore you put sunscreen on. Other people had helped you put sunscreen on. You put sunscreen on. So why the ever-loving-HELL were you burned all over?! Your face, shoulders, and back all burned like a thousand tiny needles were poking into your back. Every single thing that touched you hurt. All you wanted was to get home and sleep. Cool silk sheets sounded absolutely amazing. 

You opened the door to your apartment to be greeted by your overenthusiastic roommate, Beetlejuice, jumping on top of you and wrapping you in a bear hug. “I missed you SO much, babes you wouldn’t believe how much I missed you I was so BORED-” He ranted and yelled, but you only responded with a gasp and yelp. He pulled back immediately, knowing those sounds meant pain. “Babes? What’s wrong? Wait why is your face all red oh my god did you get slapped or some shit babes did you get in a fight cuz that’s super badass but I mean are you okay oh my-” You put your hand over his mouth. The concern was cute, but goddamn it was annoying sometimes.

“I got sunburned, Beej. Calm down. It just hurts if you put pressure anywhere on… this.” You turned around to show him your fiery back, and he grimaced.

“That looks… not fun.” He grumbled. You nodded. Sighing, you stretched your arms above your head.

“I need to head to bed, BJ. I’m exhausted from being out in the sun all day long. If you need me, I’ll be bathing in ice cubes and aloe for the rest of the day,” you groaned. Heading towards your room, you felt an icy cold hand on your shoulder. You hissed, and then melted into the feeling.

“Y’know I’m dead, right? I could cool ya off if y’know what I mean,” he said with a wink. You chuckled, and leaned into his hand. “What’s this aloe shit you were talking about?”

***

Holy. Fucking. Cheeseballs. Who knew that Beetlejuice, the loudest, clingiest, scariest pervert in the world could give massages? His cool hands and the aloe gel combined were so soothing and you felt like you were going to sink right into a deep sleep.

For context, Beetlejuice had grabbed the bottle of aloe gel as soon as you had spoken, snapped you into your bed (complete with silk sheets - pretty sure you didn’t own those before) facedown with shorts and a tank top. He was settled above you, knees on either side of your hips, gently smoothing the gel into your burn. Every time he pressed against a bundle of muscle, you had to hold back embarrassingly loud groans. After an hour of discomfort this was an absolute godsend. His rough but cool hands smoothed over the center of your back, making your eyelids flutter. You sank into the bed with every movement, falling into a sleepy trance. It was so quiet, only the sounds of you breathing and Beetlejuice concentrating. He pressed up against a particularly hard knot in your shoulder, and you hissed under your breath.

“Ah, sorry, angel. Lemme try and get this knot out,” Did he just call me angel? That’s adorable. He worked his thick fingers between the muscle, kneading it out gently. You felt the release throughout your whole neck, and you let out an unabashed moan.

“Oh, holy shit, Beej, that feels so good,” You whispered breathily. He paused in his ministrations, and then continued again. More small whimpers escaped you as the relief flooded through your veins. You heard Beej’s breath stutter behind you. “What’s up, BJ?” You asked, confused.

“Uh, nothin’ angel, I just - I mean I uh…” He trailed off. Okay, seriously, what’s wrong with him? You began to turn over as he spoke, causing him to shift above you. “Maybe you just need to stop makin’ those noises, babes. They’re, uh, not exactly PG, huh?” He chuckled weakly. Your face lit up like a firecracker, seeing his bright pink hair and hearing his words. You noticed that he was being all shifty, wiggling back and forth, and-

Oh.

A very prominent bulge pressed into your stomach where Beej sat. He realized that you realized that he had an… issue, and he blushed a bright green. He began stuttering and moving off of you, trying to hide his face.

“Uh, sorry babes, I’ll just, uh, go now, uh, I’m so sorry, I-” he stuttered out, hair turning yellow and purple. Your heart broke at the sight, and you reached out your hand and grabbed his wrist. He stopped in his tracks, looking at you with shocked eyes. What are you doing?!

“Beej, it’s okay. Promise. It was a totally natural reaction, and it was partly my fault,” You chuckled awkwardly, feeling your face heat up even more. What the hell were you supposed to say? “I’m flattered by your obvious boner because I am totally down to fuck”? “Actually it’d be great if that was caused by me because I like you an unhealthy amount for a dead roommate”? So. Screwed. You looked up to his face, seeing that his eyes were glued to your hand. “Honestly, Beej, it’s kinda, uhm, flattering.” His head whipped to yours as you turned your face into the pillow. What the shit are you doing?! He’s going to think you’re such a weirdo!

“Babes?” You shook your head. “Angel, c’mon, look at me.” You whined and shoved your face deeper into the pillow, muffling a pitiful ‘no’. “Angel,” He said, a little more forcefully, “Look at me.” You shook your head again. You felt a hand grabbing your chin, pulling it to look at him. You whined in protest, scrunching your eyes shut. You heard a growl from above you. All the sudden, lips were on your lips and your eyes flew open in surprise. Beetlejuice met your gaze, pulling away slowly.

“Babes, I need you to look me in the eye and tell me you meant what you just said. Because if you did, I’m gonna rock your world so hard you’re not gonna walk straight for a week,” His hair was almost a forest green, so he meant business. You blushed at his words. “Cuz I really like you, dollface. More than just your sweet ass or your nice rack,” Okay, really? I thought this was going to be sweet? “I like you. The you that worries about me when I’m out and I do the same for. The you that cooks for me even though I can’t eat and doesn’t get mad when I put bugs in your hair. I really, really like you, angel.” He finished and took a deep breath, sitting back on his haunches above you. He nodded as if to say ‘Done with that bullshit’. He looked down at you and cocked his head, raising an eyebrow. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Everything is about to change.

“I mean it, BJ. I really really like you a lot, too. And I would be flattered if you rocked my wo-” Not even letting you finish, he cut you off with a kiss. His hands roamed up your sides, gently caressing your shoulders. He kissed down your neck, leaving marks as he went. He bit down, causing you to gasp. Your hands snuck to his hips, where you grasped at the soft flesh. One hand wandered to his crotch and palmed against his boner. He groaned and rested his forehead against yours.

“You have no idea how long I’ve imagined this, babes.” He whispered breathlessly. You ran your unoccupied hand through his magenta hair, smiling at the effects you’d caused. “Like what you see, dollface? I sure do. Maybe, though…” His fingers pulled at the edge of your tank top. “I could see more?” You nodded. With a snap, both of you were completely naked, and his cock seeped onto your bare stomach and hand. You squealed and your face turned dark red. I thought he meant just my TOP!! Beej just laughed at your reaction. You scowled.

“Two can play at that game, mister,” You growled. Before he even had a chance to react, you squeezed and jerked his dick. Hard. A high-pitched strangled moan squeaked its way out of Beej’s throat, and he slammed his head into the mattress beside you. You heard a very jumbled ‘fuck’ beside you, followed by a loud whine. You giggled softly, continuing to stroke him. He growled at your amusement to his reaction, pulling back to look you in the eye.

“Dick.” He muttered.

“Mine.” You responded, squeezing him again. He squeezed his eyes shut, groaned, and pulled out of your grasp. You pouted, but he ignored you. Grabbing your calves, he lifted them over his shoulders and pressed his mouth to the inside of your knee. You whined, and he bit down in protest, sucking and leaving a dark mark. He kissed his way down your thigh, nibbling and biting as he went. His fingers brushed the sensitive skin right next to your entrance, making you gasp. He gently stroked his fingers through your slick. Pumping one and then two fingers into you, he rubbed your clit with his thumb. You jolted, and he responded by making a ‘come hither’ motion and you moaned. He brought his fingers to his mouth, holding your gaze the whole time. His hair was dark magenta as he licked and slurped the wetness he gathered. He smirked.

“Sweet lil’ pussy’s so wet for me, huh, doll? A dead guy really gets ya goin’ that much?” You huffed. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Not so much of an angel now, huh?” You went to grab his hair to pull him down, but he caught your wrist. “Not so fast, babes,” He chuckled. With yet another snap, you were on your forearms and knees, fully displayed for Beetlejuice. You squeaked and tried to lift yourself up, but his hand met the back of your neck, pushing you back down. “Stay right there, babes. Damn, that’s a pretty image,” He spoke, stroking and squeezing your ass.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” You muttered bitterly. I mean, c’mon! I wanna see him too! You heard a camera shutter. “Hey!”

“What? I’m just doing what you told me to,” You could hear the fucking smirk. You wiggled your hips just slightly, and his cool hand left your neck to stroke up and down your heated back. “Like you’re blushin’ all over for me, babes.” With no warning, he shoved two thick fingers into your entrance, curling them to hit your g-spot perfectly. You arched your back and reached your arms above your head to grab the pillow, moaning and whining. “There she is. Perfect lil’ kitten. Ready for the big finale, babes?” He leaned up to whisper in your ear, biting and sucking the hollow of your neck. You nodded. He chuckled. “Use your words, babygirl.”

“Please, Beej,” You whined. He shook his head, pulling back as he curled his fingers again.

“Please what? I’m not a mind-reader, babes.” You growled at him, but it became strangled when he twisted his hand in just the right way.

“Please fuck me ‘til I can’t walk straight, please BJ I nee-” He wrapped one hand around the front of your neck, effectively cutting you off. He pulled you up slightly, just enough so that there’s pressure against your windpipe and your back is arched perfectly. He rutted against your entrance, sliding against your slit and brushing your clit with each pass. Your thighs jolted, and your hips leaned back onto him. Slowly, he pushed until he was fully inside you, and you both let out a sigh of relief. It felt so right. You turned your head in Beej’s grasp and met his lips in a searing kiss. You circled your hips against his and he growled. With one hand grasping your neck and one on your hip, he began to thrust slow and deep. You let your head fall back onto his shoulder and grabbed at his hair with your hands. 

His thrusts became faster and faster and before long you were back facedown on the mattress, Beej’s erratic thrusts shoving you down. Both his hands bruised your hips and you let him use you.

“Fuck, kitten, I can’t last much longer,” He groaned. You shook your head (well, as much as you could while being pushed into the mattress).

“Me neither, Lawrence.” Full stop. It felt like time froze completely.

“What did you just call me?” He growled in your ear.

“Isn’t that your name? Lawrence?” He moaned, and you felt his dick twitch inside you.

“Again.”

“Lawrence,” you moaned. He thrusted once, as deep as he could go. “Fuck! Lawrence,” you yelled. He did it again, harder. “I can’t - fuck, wait -” He continued. You felt the knot in your stomach get tighter. You weren’t going to last much longer. “Shit, oh my - please, please -”

“Perfect lil’ kitten, ah shit - love you so much -” He growled into your ear. He leaned back, rolling his hips a few more times.

“Dammit! Fuck - love you - Beetlejuice!” You screamed as you finished. He pulled out at the last second, spilling his seed all over your back as he groaned. A camera shutter echoed throughout the room. You scowled over your shoulder at his cheeky grin. “Clean me up, asshole.” You grumbled, collapsing onto your stomach. He laughed and demon-magicked it off. He climbed up to lay beside you, pulling you to lay on his chest. You wrapped a leg over his in an effort to get even closer.

“Did you mean it?” You whispered, not quite meeting his eyes. He made a small ‘hm?’ in response. “Do you really love me?” He tensed. “Because I love you. And I’d hate if that wasn’t reciprocated,” You got quieter with every word. He lifted your chin to place a kiss on your forehead. 

“Of course I meant it, angel. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’d be an idiot not to fall in love.” He whispered back. With a smile on both faces and a satiated sexual appetite (for now), the two of you took a nap. The details of your relationship could be discussed later.

For now, cuddles with the Ghost with the Most.

[cum-a-calla]

Your thoughts on Beetlejuice?

i think Beej feeds on amusement, earnest interest, and a little bit of horny fear. like, i don't think of him as an inherently cruel or sadistic being. would he spank an ass til it's welted, or maybe pull some hair or bite down? yeah, if his partner got off loudly and enthusiastically to it. would he rip a new wound into somebody and fuck it? i don't think so lol

but there's a romance in there, too. Beej wants to be needed, maybe even pined for. he needs somebody to secretly want him so fuckin bad, to let him do his song and dance and his horrible stupid jokes and horrifying pranks, he needs somebody to slap his arm and call him a stupid bitch. he loves that shit. he wants somebody that isn't afraid to fight back a little and not take his shit, which in turn makes him want to pull MORE shit because it charms him so goddamn much to see you furrow your brows and get that cute little pissy look on your face. it gets his dick hard to be told how annoying he is.

but what gets him VERY hard, i think, aside from all the mischief, is knowing that while he's balls-deep and driving you absolutely fucking insane, you can't say his name, no matter how desperate you want to, how natural it feels to want to scream it. he likes slappin that big ol hand over your face and clucking his tongue at you, "tsk tsk, bad little toy. oh no-no-nooo, babe ❤️ you don't want me to disappear NOW, huh? not now that i got you all hot and bothered for me, not with how tight you are~ don't do it, don't say it, aww c'mon, give daddy a little kiss, lemme take care of it." that's his weakness - your ultimate gentle submission to his little manipulations and teasing

[ghostwiththeemost]

hi handsome

Im a huge fan and decided to doodle you. I hope you like it. No really. I hope you like it. Please don't stab me, Mr. Juice.

Love, some guy

P.s, are you an artist?

⇢ ˗ˏˋ ❜ DAMN! Would ya look at that? How fuckin' nice babes! ❛ 

Beetlejuice held up the doodle like a proud parent, summoning a fridge and a really tacky magnet, putting it on the fridge. Next thing you know there was a sign in giant red letters, "ART FRIDGE ART FRIDGE!"

⇢ ˗ˏˋ ❜ Welcome to the art fridge babes. The art looks fuckin' great. ❛ 

He cackled, turning the camera as he spoke.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ ❜ As for being an artist... Me? Nah. I doodle sometimes, but I usually break pens and shit. As for the mod though... He's an artist. ❛ 

...And then you see the mod. Dew stares at you from his little desk in the corner, pausing on his typing of... This post?

❜ Huh--? Oh, hi. Beej I told you not to suddenly startle me with asks like this-- ❛