#Because I feel a different sense of joy and accomplishment when I do art in a physical way rather than a digital one

[thewirewitch]

I came to the realization that what would make me very happy to do in life is just...make things.

Art, mainly, but not just one type of art. As many art forms as I can! Drawing, painting, sculpting, sewing, knitting, glass, wire, heck maybe metal someday. I also like music! I haven't done it in a while, but I love playing instruments!

I want to learn to make candles so I can make my own and maybe even make some to give as gifts to friends and family, maybe sell a few here and there. I want to learn to make soap and cream so my skin might not be so dry like it is now.

I want to make fabric from scratch someday! I wanna get a spinning wheel and a loom and grow some cotton and I know it'll probably take YEARS to do but I'd love to experience the process of making a piece of cloth and experience the joy of making it myself. I probably won't make enough to make clothing from it, but I could at least build a wooden frame to stretch it over and use as a canvas! Or I could make dolls from it!

I want to be able to bake my own bread and cakes and cookies and pies and all kinds of desserts! I want to learn how to cook more food I like instead of buying them pre-made in store frozen!

I'd love to grow my own garden of fruits and vegetables and spices and flowers! I want to be able to go to my yard and pick fresh produce to eat and maybe even make jams and juices! If I have close neighbors I could give some of the food to them! And give some to family and friends!

I would love to learn how to bind books and make leather covers for them! Learn how to cut stones myself! How to do calligraphy! How to weave baskets!

I just wanna make things that I enjoy making. Learn how to make other things. I hope I'll be able to do so in the future. Have enough space and money to keep up with all of that. Have people around to share it with.

[michellemisfit]

✨Weekly Tag Wednesday ✨

Thanks for creating the game and for the tag @jrooc thanks for the tag @vintagelacerosette

Today we’re talking fandom. Come play!

Name and A03 handle: Michelle, michellemisfit

Current Location: Living room, surrounded by feathers, as I’m currently fletching some arrows

Favourite picrew: This one is pretty fucking spot on. Or at least it was at the time. Hair is very different now. But then, hair is always different… lol

Also this one is spiritually VERY me

What's one thing you want in a picrew? Ability to add coloured streaks! And a wide selection of scars, or alternatively the ability to move them around the screen. Either is fine. But mostly the hair thing. My hair is generally 4 different colours. Don’t try and limit me to one!!

Favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom? Erm… 3 way tie between Mexico Gallacrafts, Fimo Gallavich, and Cookie Gallavich? Maybe? Argh. Turns out, looking back at my art tag… I’ve created some pretty cool stuff. Huh. Yay me.

Why is it your favourite? I don’t really do photography, and I’m really proud of the idea behind and the execution of that photo. And while I LOVE drawing more than anything, I don’t think I’m exceptional or anything. But I’m damn creative when it comes to silly 3D craft projects, so both Fimo Gallavich and Cookie Gallavich make me happy and feel like something not just anyone could do… I dunno.

Did it come easily or was it hard to create? It was LONG to create. Both cookie and Fimo Gallavich took several days in total. And I think that’s the other thing I like about myself. I am willing to put in the work, and it usually pays off.

Last ao3 fic you commented on? Hah! You’ll be able to corroborate this, I’m not just sucking up!! LOL I’m currently reading Camp is a Battlefield by @blue-disco-lights, @jrooc, and @mybrainismelted, with artwork by @creepkinginc, so that’s the last one I commented on :)

Biggest WIP heartache you’ve ever experienced? I mean… every single WIP I have ever started reading, only to realise that maybe there won’t be any more of it… 😱 Every. Single. One. They’re all special, and they all hurt in their own special ways. And I will remain subscribed to all of them FOREVER, because you never know!!

Also? Comment on WIPs. Tell authors how much joy the story brought you, how much space it’s occupying in your brain, how much you would love to see it continue but how happy you are to have read as much of the story as there is because it’s changed your brain chemistry… do NOT comment saying ‘next chapter when?’, cause that makes you a dick bag.

Favourite trope or head cannon you like included in a fanfic? I’m a sucker for fake dating, only one bed, and a soulmate AU 🤷🏽‍♂️

Least favourite? …not a huge fan of kid fic, but hey, all it takes is a great author to make it work.

Secret or surprising kink or trope? Again, do not kink shame, because you’re only ever one good fanfic away from discovering something about yourself you did NOT see coming…

Describe how you feel after you’ve created something new? Exhausted and antsy. Is it good enough? Are people gonna like it? Should I even bother anyone with this? Why don’t I just go and hide under a rock forever?? I felt okay about this when I finished it, why is it suddenly the worst thing to have ever been created??? …I wish there was a sense of calm and accomplishment. There is not. Brains suck!

Top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line: @deedala - I so appreciate how we’re on a similar wave length when it comes to art as well as ‘everybody wants to hunt me for sport’ vibes. I know I can always count on you for kind but honest words, and that’s so important!!

It's been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you _____? Read comfort fic. Probably Like Real People Do or None the Wiser.

Edit: Also? Go and read comments and tags on old art posts. That’s a sure fire way to cheer me up!

This was fun, and made the 15 minute wait between fletching each feather pass much faster. Thanks!!

If you are currently making your own arrows and need something to occupy your wait time with… how about completing a tag game? lol

@heymrspatel @loftec @creepkinginc @deedala @too-schoolforcool @darlingian @iandarling @iansw0rld @ian-galagher @mybrainismelted @palepinkgoat @crossmydna @mikhailoisbaby @sickness-health-all-that-shit @rereadanon @rutherinahobbit @energievie @junemermaid @francesrose3 @deathclassic @faejilly @rutherinahobbit @gallawitchxx @look-i-love-u @jessij1997 @callivich @celestialmickey @wehangout @doshiart @lynne-monstr @the-rat-wins @blue-disco-lights @suzy-queued @sleepyfacetoughguy @spookygingerr @burninface @gallapiech

[pedroscurls]

Title: The Teacher (Part 7).

CHAPTER TITLE: Confessions

Character(s): Joel Miller, Reader (female, first person POV), Tommy Miller, Maria Miller Summary: You and Joel delve deeper into your relationship, talking about each other’s past despite how difficult it may be. Word Count: 3,908 Author's Note: We’re diving deeper into the Reader’s past a bit, so be warned. There are some implied violence, rape, killing, and death. Thank you to everyone who has read this story, who have left comments... It really means a lot!  Warning: Mentions of implied rape, killing, death.

A week passed and yet, you hadn’t heard from Tommy or Maria about your plan to go to the school. While you were eager to get outside these walls, you were also patient enough to let the couple come to you. You knew this wasn’t something to be rushed, especially if you were very persistent in being the one to explore the area. 

While teaching was different in this new world, it still was such a rewarding experience. It wasn’t the same where each student had a certain curriculum that they needed to learn in order to move onto the next grade, but you did make sure to teach the kids about the old world. Maybe it was useless to be teaching them things that no longer mattered, but it did give you a sense of accomplishment to see your students so engaged with the things of the past. 

It gave them an escape of their reality, of the world they now lived and grew up in. You couldn’t imagine growing up in a world like this, so you always made sure to give your students a glimpse of what the old world was like; it deviated their attention from the real threats of the world. 

Ellie had joined you quite a few times, helping you with your students and even participating when it came to art sessions. She was talented, but still so very shy about it. It was quite ironic actually. Ellie was always so very vocal, but when it came to her drawings, she was timid, not yet ready for the entire world to see, no matter how much you told her how amazing they were. During art, you had asked Ellie to lead the sessions, seeing her light up with joy and excitement as she helped the other kids use their imagination; it was something you looked forward to everyday. Not only because you loved teaching, but because you also enjoyed spending time with Ellie. 

Today, on the other hand, was no different. She wanted the kids to explore their imagination, thinking and drawing the first thing that came to mind with an association to the color blue. You never told her how to teach or run the art sessions, but Ellie knew just exactly what to do to keep the kids engaged. It was like she was a natural, meant to be a leader. 

“So, what are you drawing?” You asked, gently nudging her with your elbow. 

Ellie looked up at you with a grin. “I’m imagining water, a beach, oh! California.” 

You smiled. “You’re amazing, you know that?” 

“Eh,” she said with a shrug. 

“You are and I really appreciate you being here with me, helping out with the kids. I think this is the best part of their day.”

Ellie smiled to herself. It made her feel a sense of purpose. “It’s the best part of mine.”

“Oh, you sure about that?” 

Ellie blushed, moving her eyes back to her drawing. “It’s nothing.”

“You’re telling me that Cat…”

Ellie immediately widened her eyes, urging you to stay quiet. “We’re just friends. She’s gonna give me a tattoo soon and so, we’ve just been talking about what I want. That’s all.” 

You smiled, nodding your head. You didn’t want to push any further, especially since the topic of her scar was still so very sensitive to the younger girl. “Okay,” you said. “Just know either way, I care about you.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t get all sappy on me.” 

You laughed quietly. “I just want to extend my appreciation, that’s all.”

Ellie looked up at you, letting a small smile line her lips. She never did get to know her parents, but having Joel and now having you in her life, it gave her a glimpse of what it would have been like if her parents were still alive. It felt… Nice. 

“Can I get back to my drawing?” Ellie teased.

“Okay, fine,” you smiled. “But can I see it when you’re done?” 

She nodded instantly. “You know you’re the only one I feel comfortable enough showing my drawings, so of course.” 

Once school was finished, you made sure that every student was picked up by a family member before deciding to clean up. You figured Joel would be back from his patrol by now and it caused a bit of excitement to know that you would be seeing him soon. It still felt surreal at times, knowing that you were safe within the walls of Jackson, experiencing love and happiness all over again… You had thought that you wouldn’t get a second chance at a life like this and it still scared you from time to time. 

You were putting away the books on the shelves when you heard someone clear their throat, trying to get your attention. You looked over your shoulder, seeing Joel lean against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest and a small smile lining his lips.

“Hey, darlin’.” 

You felt butterflies almost instantly. You didn’t think you would ever get tired of hearing him call you that. 

“Hey,” you smiled. 

Joel walked over to you, bending down with a quiet grunt to help you put away the rest of the books. “You have a good day?” 

You nodded. “Always.” 

Joel smiled, looking over at you. When you stood, he followed, taking your hand and pulling you into a hug. “Missed you.”

“Me too,” you smiled, burying your face against him. Maybe it was still the honeymoon phase, but you and Joel couldn’t get enough of each other. You didn’t mind though, Joel was a very attentive partner. You were both so focused on learning what the other liked that you hadn’t really talked about your past and it was gnawing at you, wanting him to know everything about your life before Jackson. 

“Ellie’s over at Cat’s, saying somethin’ about having dinner over there tonight.” Joel said, pulling away from you. 

“Oh okay, so it’s just me and you tonight then?”

“Yeah,” he said, taking your hand and lacing his fingers with yours almost immediately. “I was thinkin’ we can grab some food at the pub with Maria and Tommy.”

You nodded, “That sounds good to me.” Excitement filled you almost instantly. Maybe you would get a chance to discuss your plan with Maria and Tommy. 

Joel arched a brow, tilting his head as he stared at you. “No work talk.”

“But–”

Joel chuckled, stepping up to you and pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. “No work talk.”

You let out a sigh, nodding in agreement. “Okay, okay.”

Joel let you go, watching you with amusement as you continued to clean throughout the room. Once you finished, you flashed him a smile and thumbs up. “All ready to go.”

He took your hand, pulling you to his side and wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You leaned against him, leading him out of the school as you locked it behind you. You took comfort in Joel’s warmth, nuzzling further into him. He looked down at you with a smile, holding you closer. 

Once inside the pub, you noticed Tommy and Maria sitting at a table, waving in your direction. You smiled, walking over to the couple and taking a seat across from Tommy as Joel sat across Maria. It was crazy to think that almost two months ago, you were on the brink of your death and now, here you were with the people that you had grown to care about. 

“What ya drinkin’?” Tommy asked both you and Joel.

“A beer for me,” you replied.

Joel nodded. “I’ll come with you,” he told his younger brother. Joel then turned his attention to you, kissing your cheek lightly. “Want anythin’ in particular?” 

“I’ll get what you get,” you smiled.

Joel and Tommy stood from the table, walking towards the bar to place their orders. This gave you a chance to talk with Maria alone and she could tell from the look on your face that you were going to ask her about the abandoned school. 

“Joel’s been vouching for you,” she said, beating you to the punch.

“What do you mean?” 

“He and Tommy have been discussing it,” she replied. “But, Tommy and I are willing to let you go as long as Joel is there.”

“You know I don’t need a babysitter,” you began. “But I think that’s fair. Joel is my safe place,” you blurted, blushing instantly as you glanced over at her. “What I mean is that–”

Maria chuckled. “Ain’t nothing wrong with that. How are you two doing by the way?”

You let out a contented sigh. “Really good, but you know how new relationships are… Joined at the hip in the beginning.”

“Well, you look really happy and so does he,” she pointed out. 

—

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this side of you,” Tommy laughed, leaning against the bar after both men placed their order. He glanced over at the table, watching you and Maria talk before he turned his attention back to his brother. 

Joel shrugged. “She makes me really happy, Tommy.” 

“Oh, we can all see that,” he smiled. “It’s nice, y’know. You deserve it.”

“Somethin’ has been botherin’ me though.”

“What’s that?”

Joel sighed, dropping his eyes. “I still feel like I don’t know her, not completely. And she still don’t know about–”

“Don’t rush it,” Tommy interrupted. “Somethin’ tells me she’s fine with how things are going.”

“But what if she wants more and I can’t give it to her yet?” Joel asked. “I ain’t sure if I’m ready to talk about her.”

“Then don’t, not until you’re ready.” 

Joel sighed. “I just– I don’t wanna mess this up.”

“You ain’t.” Tommy chuckled. “Since when did you worry so much?”

Joel scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I ain’t worried.”

“Then what would you call it?”

“Dunno” 

Tommy smiled. “What could go wrong, Joel? You can’t control everythin’, y’know.” He clasped a hand over his brother’s shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze before the bartender called their names out to retrieve their drinks and food. “Listen, how about you just talk to her? Tell her what’s on your mind.”

“And if it don’t work out?”

“Then she ain’t the one,” he said simply. “But somethin’ tells me that she is.”

Joel shrugged, grabbing the tray of food and drinks as he walked with Tommy back to the table. “Still too early to tell,” Joel replied.

“You’re in denial, big brother.”

Joel knew that he was falling for you, but he certainly didn’t want to scare you, especially since neither of you have yet to talk about each other’s past. Both men set the food and drinks on the table and Joel felt you lean against him, your hand moving to rest on his thigh.

He smiled to himself, kissing your temple. “Got you a burger, that okay?” 

You smiled, nodding. “Thank you, Joel.”

Throughout dinner, the four of you shared plenty of smiles and laughter. Everyday this place continued to feel like home and being around the people you had grown to care about was just perfect. After you finished your food, you rested your head against Joel who had his arm draped at the back of your chair. 

However, all of your attention was averted when you heard two people yelling and cursing at each other. Within seconds, a fight broke out and Joel and Tommy stood immediately to break it up. Maria walked over to them, looking at the two men who were now separated. She said something to the both of them, causing them both to pull away from Joel and Tommy. You were distracted though. One of the men had glanced around the room, his eyes falling on you and giving you a wink. 

Immediately, you felt uncomfortable and your hands turned into fists. Joel saw this and grabbed the man by his shirt, pushing him against the bar.

“Joel,” Tommy said. “Let him go.”

Joel stared at the other man, his grip on his shirt tightening as he felt himself delve further into the pit of anger and frustration. “You don’t look at her,” he said threateningly. “Ya hear me?” 

“She’s not your property,” the other man laughed, obviously having had too much to drink. “She’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she?” 

And that was all it took for Joel to repeatedly ram his fist into the other man’s face. He lost it. Joel had no control over what he was feeling at the moment, feeling his knuckles split open with each hit. It was Tommy who pulled him away and off the other man, who still was laughing through the pain and blood that now covered his face. 

“Fucking psycho,” he mumbled, standing up with Maria’s help. “I was just joking, shit.”

Maria looked over at Joel and Tommy, pointing towards the door. “You need to calm him down. I got this one.” 

Tommy nodded, grabbing Joel by his arm and bringing him outside towards the back of the pub. You stood from the table, following both men quietly. Maria gave you a single nod before she turned to the other man. 

“Are you crazy?” Tommy exclaimed, pushing Joel through the doors. “What in the hell were you thinkin’?”

Joel shook his head, looking down at his right hand. “He made her feel uncomfortable.”

“And so, you decided to take matters into your own hands, that it? What the fuck, Joel! You can’t just lose your shit like that.”

Joel sighed. He knew Tommy was right and he didn’t know what had gotten into him. Maybe it was the look of fear in your eyes or the fact that your expression had changed so quickly when the other man was talking to you. He didn’t like it. He wanted you to feel safe and so Joel did what he did best: take away the threat. 

“M’sorry,” he mumbled. “I just–”

Tommy sighed. “I know you care about her, Joel, but you can’t…” He ran a hand over his face, shaking his head. “You can’t just do that.”

“I know,” Joel replied. “I know.”

Before Tommy could say anything, you stepped outside and both men looked in your direction. Joel immediately gave you an apologetic look whereas Tommy let out a heavy sigh. 

“Make sure he gets home?” Tommy said.

“Of course.” 

Tommy looked over at Joel and sighed. “I love you, big brother, but you gotta get a lid on that.”

“I know. I’m workin’ on it.” 

—

You were back at Joel’s house, sitting at the edge of his bed as you tended to his hand, cleaning up the blood and cuts. You hadn’t said a word and Joel was worried; you hadn’t ever seen that side of him and he didn’t know what to say. He was feeling things he hadn’t felt in so long; it was almost as if he didn’t know how to act. 

“That wasn’t very smart of you,” you finally said.

Joel sighed. “I know.”

“I don’t need saving,” you replied. “I can handle my own.”

“I know, darlin’,” he repeated. “You just– You looked so scared, like that one night…”

You bit your lower lip. Joel needed to know your past, needed to know every single thing you did to survive because it was haunting you, keeping you up most nights whenever you weren’t with him. He really was a good distraction from the nightmares, but whenever he was gone, it always came back. 

“I’ve been–” you sighed heavily. “I haven’t been completely open with you and I’m sorry.”

Joel shook his head immediately, his eyes softening. “What? No, you ain’t gotta–”

“Joel, just let me, okay?”

He nodded. 

You avoided his eyes, continuing to clean his hand even after it was all cleaned up. Joel noticed this and gently pulled his hand from you, causing you to look up at him with slightly teary eyes. 

“Whenever I’m not with you, I struggle,” you began. “I struggle with so many nagging thoughts that haunt me every second of the day.” 

Joel bit his lower lip. He knew exactly what you meant, but instead of replying, he nodded and listened intently to you. 

“Most men terrify me,” you admitted. “Before Jackson, if a man looked at me funny or if they said something that just didn’t sit right with me, I would–” Your breath hitched, looking away from him. “I stopped it before it could ever get to that point.” 

“By stopping, you mean…”

You nodded. “Yeah.” Neither of you needed to say it; he knew exactly what you meant. “I had to,” you continued. “The last time I gave someone the benefit of the doubt, I paid for it.”

Joel tightened his jaw. “M’sorry, darlin’.”

“It haunts me every night. I wonder if it’ll ever go away, you know?”

“I can’t say that it ever does,” Joel commented. 

“Sometimes, it still feels like this is all a dream and I’m gonna wake up back in that community,” you whispered. “A community that used women to– to…”

Joel shook his head, pulling you into his arms instantly. “Darlin’...”

You took comfort in his arms, leaning against him as you felt tears slowly trickle down your face. “Killing that man was the most satisfying thing I have ever done,” you admitted. “What does that say about me?” 

Joel bit the inside of his cheek. It was so crazy to him at how you both had so much in common, the new world changing both of you entirely. “You suffered and you did what you had to, to end that sufferin’.” 

“I’m scared that sometimes I don’t know what I’m capable of,” you said, looking up at him. “That sometimes, I just see red and there’s no stopping me.” 

Joel was getting to know more and more about you and while he hadn’t seen what you were capable of in terms of combat, he was so certain that you were so capable of taking care of yourself. You managed to survive this long and Joel was now gaining a better understanding of how that was possible. 

“That’s how I felt,” Joel admitted. “At the pub earlier.” 

“We both knew he wasn’t going to do anything and yet, I was still scared…”

“And I wanted to take that fear away,” Joel added. “Wanted to protect you, keep you safe, and–”

You looked up at him, pecking his lips gently to interrupt him. The feeling was mutual. You wrapped your arms around him, falling back into his bed. He sighed contentedly, glancing down at you. 

“Tell me something about before,” you whispered. “A good memory. A happy memory.”

Joel cleared his throat. All he could think about was Sarah and he just wasn’t yet ready to talk about it. He just shrugged and looked down at you. “How about you tell me a good memory of yours, darlin’?” 

“I just feel like I’m talking too much…”

“I like hearing you talk,” he reassured. “Tell me somethin’ I don’t know.”

You bit your lower lip, nodding. “I had two younger brothers,” you smiled sadly. “Being the oldest is a lot of responsibility.”

Joel chuckled. “You’re preachin’ to the choir, darlin’.” 

“But my brothers… They were so good, you know?” You smiled to yourself, memories of your childhood flashing in your mind. “I had an amazing childhood. I always hoped for a love like my parents,” you said, tears once more filling your eyes. “Married for twenty plus years and still so deeply in love, literally like they were teenagers.”

“And your husband?” Joel whispered quietly. 

“I found that with him, yeah,” you said. “Most people say their life changed when the world ended… Mine ended when my husband died. It just– It wasn’t the same, you know?” 

Oh, Joel knew all too well about losing a loved one. No amount of time would ease the pain. 

“And your brothers? Your parents?” Joel asked carefully. “Y’know, on outbreak day…”

“I traveled to California immediately. It took me so long to get there,” you bit your lower lip, looking up at him. “They were gone… The bombings hit our home and–”

You felt a sudden overwhelming amount of emotion rush over you and you buried your face against him, crying quietly. You hadn’t talked about your family in so long and the pain still felt as fresh and as new as it did when you first realized that they were gone. 

“M’sorry,” he whispered, holding you so tight that he never wanted to let you go. 

“Everything was gone…” your body was trembling and his shirt was soaked with your tears. “Part of me wishes it was me instead, you know? Like why me? Why do I get to survive and they don’t?” 

Joel didn’t know the answer to that. He battled with that himself when it came to the night of Sarah’s death. How come the bullet hit her and not him? How come Tess got bit and not him? He had lost so many people along the way and he never understood what he did to deserve to still be alive. 

“Tommy and I– We’re from Texas,” Joel said quietly, watching as you looked up at him. He felt his heart break at the sight of you, bringing his hand up to wipe away your fallen tears. “We were carpenters, didn’t have the best childhood, but we worked with what we had.” 

Now, it was your turn to listen. You could see that there was something that Joel wanted to say, but couldn’t. You didn’t pry, didn’t push him to tell you things he wasn’t ready to tell you, so instead, you just listened. 

“I’ve done a lot of things since the world ended,” Joel continued. “And I always wonder the same thing… What did I do to deserve to still be here?” 

“I’m glad you’re here,” you whispered quietly, biting your lower lip. 

“And m’glad you’re here too, darlin’.”

“I guess Maria was right,” you said. “Things happen for a reason and her finding me, saving me and bringing me back to Jackson… It was all supposed to happen.”

“You believe in fate?” Joel asked.

“I do,” you admitted. “Fate brought me to you.”

Joel smiled. If only you could see the blush on his cheeks. He was taken off guard and it made him feel good. You made him feel good, even after knowing the things he used to do before Jackson, even after you witnessed him losing his shit at the pub… 

You still wanted him and it made Joel feel a sense of purpose. It made him feel like he could be redeemed of the things he had done. 

But you didn’t know all of it. 

You didn’t know about Sarah.

You didn’t know about Ellie.

And you certainly didn’t know about what he had done at the hospital, killing all those people to save Ellie. 

Part of him wanted to tell you, but another part of him wanted to keep it a secret. He didn’t know how you were going to react, if you would still look at him the way you were now… He didn’t want your view of him to change. 

So, Joel decided that he wasn’t yet ready to delve deeper into his past. 

He was fine with the way things were right now. 

And he certainly didn’t want anything to change. 

---

Part 8.

Taglist (let me know if you'd like to be tagged!): @rye-flower, @3zae-zae3, @orangevtae, @flippittygibbitts, @blairfox04, @ohthemisssery, @avengersfan25, @somebodytookmyusername, @littleshadow17, @beltzboys2015-blog, @swimmjacket, @corpsebridenightamare, @thelightnessofthebeing, @dorck26, @ashlynn-crayons, @sexytholland, @surazim, @cedricbitch, @cali-ko, @lasthongos, @impala1967666​, @sana-li, @coldheartedmar​

[adz]

how do you deal with self-hate and stuff, like the feeling that nothing you do or make will ever be worth anything compared to the good stuff and there's no point in trying? how do you do it... sorry for bothering you, if this question is too depressing...

it's a good question, and I'm not sure if I'm equipped to answer it, because I used to feel that way and don't anymore and couldn't really tell you what I'm doing different now. I used to compare myself constantly to artists I respected, framing everything I did in the context of What Have These People Accomplished By The Age I Am Now and always coming up short, because of course you always will when you do that. Unless you're a narcissist, your favorite story will likely never be one you wrote.

So a lot of that sense of inadequacy came from seeing how much other people were accomplishing and feeling like I was always lagging behind, like the stuff I was making didn't matter, etc. And that's a motivating characteristic to Succession characters but not to any actual people I know. None of my brilliant friends have created a wonderful piece of art because they wanted to show they could make something worth something, or because they were trying to fill a void in their heart (although those feelings may have coexisted). Making things for other people is how you get money, not self-worth.

My advice for people who feel like they're not doing or making anything important is to stop obsessing over how the world/your parents/capitalism views importance, and instead focus on what brings you joy. Don't make the next chart-topping song; make the song only you could've made.

That's all re: creative self-worth, but there's probably more going on here (like all of us, haha). Just be nice to yourself and look inward. The things you see & love in others and the impressive things they create are qualities you have, too. Otherwise you wouldn't connect with them.

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, November 21st, 2024.

Were you alone today? I've spent a lot of time alone, but my dad is here as well.

Who was the last person you saw today? My dad.

What do you need to let go of? Fear of judgement, feeling not good enough, this sense of identity and safety in my eating disorder instead of in my own personality and abilities.

What movie are you looking forward to? I might go see Wicked with my mom in the near future. She wanted to go next week during one of my days off (Wed-Thurs), but I was feeling the time crunch because I have therapy on Wed and lots of cooking and baking to do to get ready for Thanksgiving. I'm also not entirely sure what I'm doing on the day-of. If I'm going to the shelter or not. So…if it's still in theaters, we may go the week after.

Have you played the lottery? I've played scratch tickets. My mom and I used to go for coffee and do those crossword ones.

What recently happened that made you proud of yourself? Realizing that I'm probably ready for at least part time employment at the animal shelter.

Who did you see the most today? My dad.

How much is gasoline per gallon? My dad was out the other day and saw that it was under three dollars, which is down significantly from the last time I noticed the price.

What was your horoscope today? Was it accurate? The planets are moving you into a new cycle, Pisces. Soon you will be in a new "story." You will have to take stock of what you've learned in previous weeks. Who you are is related to the degree of peace you have in your life and whether or not you've been able to resolve some conflicts. Did you learn your lessons well? Without a doubt, you have a gift for calming tense situations. Definitely feel like I've been taking stock of everything I've learned; not just over the past few weeks, but over the past few years. Attempting to avoid old cycles or patterns of behavior, or face them differently this time around. Placing a lot of importance on peace and contentment. Trying to do more things that bring joy to my life. Not sure I have a gift for calming tense situations, but maybe that's where all those past lessons will come into play.

What are you most afraid of? Losing my dad, winding up homeless, never forming strong bonds/relationships.

What’s the biggest thing you have going on? Volunteering.

What did you accomplish today? Made some art in the early morning hours before the sun blasted through my bedroom window. Jotted down some recipes for Thanksgiving. Will be baking a cream cheese brownie pie after lunch. Also need to throw in a load of laundry and clean the litter boxes later.

Did you act your age today? I guess so.

How busy was your day today? It's been the opposite of busy.

What is your address?

What do you wish there was less of in the world? Hatred, violence, ignorance, illness, loneliness, etc.

What is stopping you? From…? I mean, I guess it doesn't really matter "what" specifically. The answer is almost always MIGRAINES.

What were your chores today? Laundry and litter boxes.

What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud? I'm not sure.

Who did you eat dinner with? Myself.

How did you make a difference in the world today? I haven't made a significant difference.

What is one thing you take with you everywhere? A water bottle.

The last gift I’ve given was __. My time and company…? If that counts.

Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go Garage Sale shopping? Naw.

When was the last time you got a nose bleed? A few weeks ago.

Do you have any picture frames without a picture in them? Probably somewhere.

Do you keep magazines by your toilet? I don't. Sometimes I'll read the backs of shampoo and lotion bottles if I'm going to be stuck there for a bit, though.

What did you last take a picture of with your camera? It was a photo of Miss Mae, one of the kitties at the shelter.

The last time you got dressed up, where did you go? I can't even remember the last time I got properly dressed up.

Are you proud of who you are? In some ways.

If you were a waiter/waitress, would you make good tips? Heck if I know.

Forget about toppings. What type of CRUST do you like on pizzas? Thick, bubbly, the right combination of crunchy and chewy.

Have you ever stolen a road sign or traffic barrier? I stole a traffic cone once.

Captain Crunch vs. Count Chocula: Who makes the better cereal? I don't think I've ever had Count Chocula before.

Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? Sundae.

Is chapstick a necessity for you? Sometimes.

What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? Thin mints.

Do you constantly doubt yourself? Not constantly, but I do have a tendency to doubt myself…perhaps without a valid reason.

Do you like to have ice in your drinks? Yeah.

What did you eat for breakfast? My usual oatmeal concoction.

What song are you most likely to sing in the shower? Idk.

Can you cross your eyes? Yeah.

When was the last time you went to the dentist? Far too long ago.

If a color represented your mood right now what color would it be and why? Maybe sage green or a dusty periwinkle blue. They're comforting and calming, but they also have this slightly melancholic, introspective vibe. Like, I'm generally happy, but if I got too caught up in my thoughts or dwelled too deeply, I could wind up in a weird place.

[paintedscales]

APPRECIATION– What kind of accomplishments do they recognize? What things do they find beautiful or attractive? Which of their senses do they find most joy engaging with?

Good day, Mimble! Thank you so much for the ask! Chipping away at these when I'm taking a break on current art obligations. \ o w o / So the distraction is much appreciated! I hope you're doing well, too! :>

Positive Psychology OC Ask Meme

Since there are a lot of things on the Steppe that are recognized through merits and shows of strength, intelligence, dexterity, etc., I feel like Nomin finds appreciation in a lot of different accomplishments that others have. Especially if they're things that she herself cannot do. Like, for example, she thinks that Alphinaud is really accomplished with his grasp and understanding of many different things. She thinks that he could easily best some of the most advanced players of the Malqir and their kharaqiq if given the time to learn it.

Things that Nomin finds beautiful... Hm, she has an appreciation for many different flowers. She does her best to learn about all kinds of flora, though, because she appreciates nature in general. Though it was her time with her childhood friend, Chotan, who really showed her how to appreciate flowers and how pretty they are. Her favorite flowers are magnolias. :>

(it's the only image i've drawn so far with her wearing a magnolia from my kink-/flufftober challenge skdfj)

And senses... Oh man, the one that she enjoys engaging with most? I want to say all of them because I can think of all kinds of things she appreciates with each one. But thinking about it and really just kind of putting perspective on it... Sight. Nomin enjoys engaging with her sense of sight more than most. With her eyes, she can see and recreate beautiful things -- commit them to memory, and then commit them to canvas as she paints.

[yupuffin]

Thanks to Leo Fairmane for this video of my performance at the Furvana 2023 fursuit dance competition last weekend!

🎵Ado - うっせえわ (Giga remix)

This dance is about my experience with elitism I've encountered in my 10+ years as a fursuit dancer.

Below the cut is my thread I've copied from Twitter explaining the concept:

So many dance styles have stemmed from a desire for community, a sense of belonging, and an expression of solidarity. Therefore, I believe it's important to retain the "community" aspect of dance as an art form, to prioritize supporting one another's unique forms of expression.

The competition, as the primary in-person format for fursuit dance performance and viewing, is indeed exhilarating, but I feel that it's important to remember that we're all artists first and foremost; art is subjective, so there's a reductive aspect to numerical scoring.

To adapt a post I previously read about sports: competitions are not meant to be fair. They're meant to reward the participant with the greatest advantage. "Advantage" can mean access to classes, disposable income, ample free time, being able-bodied, etc.

We can try to make competitions fairer, but we can only go so far, as they are unfair by definition. I don't think we should try to change or eliminate competitions, but I do think we should remember that dance, as a form of art and community, goes beyond competition.

I believe when we lean too much into the "competition" aspect and start elevating "elite" dancers, treating scores and placements as an objective measure of quality, and overemphasizing "progress" and "potential," we undermine the vital "community" and "art" aspects of dance.

As a disabled dancer, I've had people (dancers and non-dancers alike) tell me to my face that I need to dance differently to conform to competitive expectations, or directly ask me why I don't place as much as dancers with different physical capabilities.

I don't think it's a universal experience, or that it's unique to the fursuit dance scene. But it is a regular experience for me and I believe it's a product of what I perceive as unhealthy overemphasis on competition, for participants and audiences alike.

I also believe that, as different individuals, in addition to coming from different backgrounds, we all thrive in different environments. I don't deny that a highly competitive environment can be optimal for some, perhaps even many, dancers.

At the same time, I feel that such a competitive environment is inherently exclusionary to disabled or otherwise less privileged dancers. I have had SO MANY people, often other disabled performers, tell me they quit fursuit dance because the scene made them feel SO unwelcome.

Where is the "community" in such an environment? Isn't community supposed to be about celebrating the individuality, the unique artistic perspective and experience, each dancer brings to the scene? About welcoming all participants, regardless of skill level?

This past year, I was fortunate enough to take a couple of dance classes. I felt more support, joy and community in one lesson in a studio full of strangers than I have typically felt as a disabled fursuit dancer, and I thought, why can't the furry dance world feel like this?

I feel like the message to be true to yourself, to celebrate your achievements, to not care what anyone else thinks, is there, but the fursuit dance environment I've experienced as a disabled performer is too often counterproductive to actually accomplishing this.

To tie it back to the initial post, this dance encapsulates all the frustrations I've articulated in this post as well as the triumph, as tentative and ever-changing as it is, in identifying and expressing the meaning and value I find in fursuit dance.

Going forward, I'm going to do my best to make the fursuit dance community around me more welcoming, encouraging, and inclusive, for the sake of disabled dancers like me, and many others. I'm not going to be perfect, and I have a lot to unlearn, but I'm going to try my darnedest.

I tried to make it abundantly clear that this is all my personal opinion/experience as a disabled dancer of 10+years. I don't think there's any one "correct" experience; others may disagree or have differing opinions/or experiences and that's totally fine.

[ravenkinnie]

The Dylan Horrocks issues of Batgirl (2000) seem a couple steps down from Kelley Puckett: The art actually gets worse, which I didn't think was possible, and it seems like Horrocks starts trying to make Cass a sex object in ways Puckett was too busy being racist to contemplate. However, Batman losing his cool at the thought that Cass might have fucked clone-Superboy was admittedly very funny, and as you said, the big Bruce-Cass fight in #50 is wild. "No, the drugs didn't really do anything much, I just thought it would be therapeutic for us to beat the crap out of each other for a while, and it was! Mission accomplished, my work here is done."

It seems like one of the saving graces of that series, for the most part, is that because Cass is poorly socialized, the writers mostly spare us the dreadful "real world" subplots that make stuff like the Dixon Robin and Nightwing books such an ordeal. She's just this weird little freak who wanders around beating the crap out of people. She started reminding me of Jinx (Arcane/LOL Jinx) if someone loaded her up on enough drugs to make her stop hearing voices, but not enough to let her feign normalcy.

she's very jinx core TO ME with the exception that maybe cass had a chance to be like an average well adjusted person but I think jinx was always gonna be crazy, just in different ways sjsjsjjs the difference to their crazy is jinx is like the demons are my trauma and cass is like the demon is me

I'm saying, the further that solo goes on the more it's like oh..... and it ends without satisfaction or joy <3 best run ever!! but babs going you're crazy to bruce and him being like but it works!!!! kills me every time. I think the isolation part is both the biggest downfall and my favorite part of it because it makes absolute sense for her character and gives time to the few relationships she does have. i think its mostly because they didn't give a fuck about cass so much they didn't want her close to anything big picture relevant but it meant it doesn't have the worst fucking comics run trait to me. which is when they bring five million plots and characters to tie into other runs and events to the point where everything feels somehow drawn out and shallow at the same time

I have to say, the most misogynistic places will accidentally create the best female characters and this solo shows dc hated her ass so much that accidentally they just fleshed her out so well and made her so unique she really stands out as a hero sjshajja

[danielleverboskirealtor]

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[neekpep]

Things have changed quite a bit since my last (and first) post. I am now living alone for the first time. I have a boyfriend. I will be reaching 1 year of working my big girl job I've had since graduating last summer. It's been a year since I graduated, I keep forgetting that is important? College obviously affected me, but I have no sense of accomplishment from it either. That's something to unpack with a therpaist when I finally figure that out. But to put it simply, things have changed. I think I'm happy? I'm not very good at dissecting my emotions, but I can say forsure that I have not craved the sweet embrace of death for a bit. I actually crave life now. I want to be exhilarated and excited. Today I will be making my first trip of driving 2 hours to columbus, that is big for me in my personal circumstances. I will be seeing my dearest friends and I am excited for that. I would like to put art up in my apartment today. And to use some of the stuff in my fridge. And I think it would be nice to change the sheets in my bed. If you notice the pattern I am trying to find joy in the mundane things. I have a hard time appreciating them. Currently it just feels like I'm stagnant, even when I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Do you ever feel like you're not capable of feeling as much as you used to be? Or to put it differently, that the capacity of which you feel is not the full threshold? I feel emotions but they don't seem to reach a capacity that I think they should. The glass is half empty. Maybe its a mindset? Maybe its mental illness? Maybe I am low energy today but this is my pushing through? I'm not sure. I'm never sure. I would like to be sure one day. I would like to read back on this and wonder if it makes any sense because I constantly feel like I am just spouting words incorrectly. Oh well, happy Labor day weekend folks. I will be enjoying it to the ability that I can and I hope I can just let myself relax. Sink in a bit. Lean in. We shall see, laters

Current listen: cars passing on the road next to my apartment and whatevers bugs are hissing. I decided to take a route of appreciating the silence today. I'm starting to really like my own silence.

[bloodymadonna]

Life Appreciation Manifesto

A recurring theme in my Tumblr posts that I notice is life appreciation. Life appreciation is an important thing because it allows us to reflect on our blessings and to enjoy more moments. It allows me to take more time into consideration, as I see how every moment has its own effect on me. Taking a second to be grateful for the things I have and my experiences has given me a newly shaped sense of what life is. 

In the assignment named abstract images, where we were assigned to talk about what we saw from our chosen picture. I chose “Constellation: Toward the Rainbow''. This image shows a bunch of drawings floating in a gray space-like thing. I chose this image because it has an art style that reminded me of my childhood. As a kid I would spend a lot of time drawing with my little sister and the pieces reminded me of those times. From this one image I was able to look back at moments shared with my sister that I hadn't thought of in years, and appreciate how they and she shaped who I am. It may seem as just another activity in my childhood, but this instance has made me see the importance of our sibling bond.

When reading my responses on the photographer's eye assignment I noticed that the pictures I chose to describe were of genuine happy moments. Although they may seem like regular everyday occurrences, they brought me an infinite amount of joy. Being able to feel happiness without comparison is what makes all the difference. People usually think of things they can do and places they can go to in order to be happier, but this habit will stop us from reaching that goal. It’s important to see and be grateful for the things that bring us happiness everyday, which is what I notice I wrote about. I wrote about my dog Hollie, some of my family, and about my girlfriend. Every one of them affects and shapes who I am. I recognize how fortunate I am to have these things make up my life. Looking back I thought the post was just about Joy, but I see how my thoughts ran deeper. 

 The next assignment I will be discussing is the Representative Work assignment. In this assignment I wrote about the Trinity Church and why it interests me. The church is located in New York which is my dream place to live. The church has a geo gothic look and reminds me of the dreams I want to pursue. Its style and location go hand in hand with me wanting to be a fashion designer and wanting to continue my studies in New york. The instructions were to describe an image and I noticed I was able to relate this back into my life. It puts things in a new view for me, as I can appreciate the future I see myself in. Being able to have these goals and knowing I can pursue them is an opportunity I'm very grateful for.  Instead of looking at this image yearning and imagining how hard it would be for me to accomplish what I set, I appreciate what life has in store for me.

After looking through my past submissions, I learned more about what I value the most. Even if the topic instructions did not mention the requirement of relating the post back to me, I somehow found myself able to recognize my relationship with it  and see my appreciation for it even more. Everyone should learn to appreciate their lives and whatever they consist of. Even if you don’t think you have the best one, being grateful for what you have and other specific things can heavily influence your way of thinking. Instead of negatively describing your life, you will more than likely have a better outlook on everything after being mindful. (653)

[fereldanwench]

I'm going to be obnoxious and presumptuous and tell everyone how to live their lives because I feel like the Cyberpunk 2077 fandom* has an endemic problem with this self-imposed expectation to post new ~*content*~ on a regular basis that is just not sustainable for like 95% of us. And as someone who has also, unfortunately, grappled with that anxiety even though I know it's silly, I feel compelled to tell everyone (myself included) to stop doing that to themselves and slow the fuck down.

(*Probably other fandoms, too--I have many, many Thoughts™ on how ~*content creator*~ culture has had detrimental effects on fandom on the whole, but that's a broader topic for another time.)

Participating in fandom is a hobby, not a grind. No one is going to be upset with you for letting your queue run out or missing a themed day. Nobody expects anyone to have multiple original posts on a daily basis. Your friends aren't going to forget you if you need to take a break. There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty or stressed because a real-life obligation has to take priority over a hobby.

Recognize the ebb and flow of your creativity so you don't burn yourself out. Give yourself the time and space to work on long projects and learn new skills, even if that can't come with regular updates. Let yourself be in the moment while you create. Savor your art--Stop asking yourself "What do I post next?" immediately after you finish a project. Take pride and joy in the work you've already made without wondering how you can make your next post even better.

Understand your limitations and accept that others might not have the same limitations you have. Someone who is single and unemployed is going to have more time to dedicate to learning virtual photography than someone with a family and a full-time job. Someone with chronic fatigue is going to have a harder time churning out fic than someone without that condition. Don't compare your output to someone else's. We all have different creative processes, different backgrounds and skills, and different demands on our time and energy.

What works for me to break out of this mindset might not work for everyone, but these are the 3 main things I find helpful to keep me from succumbing to the darkness:

Intentionally break a streak Have you been posting every single Thirsty Thursday for the past 6 months but are having a hard time keeping up currently and feeling stressed about breaking the streak? BREAK IT. Skip one. Even if you have a post, schedule it for the following week. It'll feel wrong at first, but on Friday you'll realize it didn't matter, your friends are still here, and you will no longer be beholden to this inconsequential posting requirement that exists only in your head.

Revisit old posts/drafts/WIPs/outtakes Go through your old stuff! Let yourself enjoy what you made in the past. Reblog it so new friends and followers can see it. Remember what it was like to work on it and the sense of accomplishment when you finished it and what you learned from it. You might even get a bonus and find yourself inspired to revisit an idea or create a new take on it.

It's an obnoxious cliche at this point, but yes: touch grass Online fandom spaces have been a cornerstone of my social and creative circles for over two decades, so I am not by any means suggesting that there is no value in spending a lot of time here. But you absolutely need to take breaks from your devices and reconnect with the physical world or you will go nuts. Go for a walk, spend a day outside with friends or your pets, pick up a tangible craft like coloring books or journaling--Just find something to get you away from your computer and phone.

tl;dr - Creating in fandom should be fun and enjoyable and a reprieve from all of this shit, not an extension of it. There's absolutely no reason to put this burden on yourself to be some superfan posting new work 37 times a week. If you're in the zone and you've got that flow, roll with it, of course, but don't feel like it always has to be like that because it won't be. And that is completely fine.

[reiedits1]

The Last Of Us Part II

I played and finished The Last Of Us Part II last week and it has been on my mind ever since. I obviously understand that a lot of people have problems with this game, and that’s okay. I’m not here to change anyone’s views on the game or anything, I just want to kind of write down my opinions and takeaways as, again, it’s been on my mind since finishing it lol. Nobody may see this and this will mean nothing, that’s fine. 

Anyway, this post will contain SPOILERS

My Overall Thoughts

I’m not entirely sure how to structure this so I guess I’ll just start with a broad statement lol; I loved The Last Of Us Part II. In my opinion, it’s a beautiful and well-crafted story about loss, grief and consequences, with how each of these things affect different people. 

Discussion 

From what I’ve seen, I see a lot of people hating on this game for its handling of Joel and the decision to have the player play as Joel’s murderer, Abby. I’ve also seen a lot of people say that the message is as simple and plain as “viOleNcE iS bAd”, but I personally think it’s so much more than that.

The Last Of Us Part II doesn’t just tell you that violence is bad, but it shows you the ramifications of it by dealing with the emotional toll as well as the consequences on not just the main person involved, but their loved ones too.

As we all know, at the start of the game, Joel is brutally killed by Abby and we go with Ellie on a mission to avenge him by killing everybody involved. We see it all from Ellie’s point of view, hardheartedly seeing Abby as the villain as she just killed the character that we know and love as we have an emotional connection to him after the first game. His death is supposed to make you feel angered. It’s not like you’re supposed to be joyed by it. His death scene left me feeling empty and sick, wanting revenge alongside Ellie. 

However, as the game goes on, we start to see the story from Abby’s point of view. We learn that the doctor that you, the player, had to murder at the end of The Last of Us is actually the father of Abby. This is brilliant. Now we see one of the main themes of the story, consequences, and I was immediately on board. Joel is not a good person, at all. He murdered hundreds of Fireflies and took away the possible cure for humanity for his own personal reasons. This is incredibly selfish, even going to the lengths of lying to Ellie about the events as he knows that it isn’t what she would want. Technically, Joel is the villain.

Joel had been through so much, so you may think it’s justified. But the point is, Joel isn’t the only person in the world of The Last of Us. Everybody he murders aren’t just mindless NPCs, they are people. People with their own problems who have gone through their own share of pain and loss, people with their own loved ones. Such as the doctor, who had Abby, whom he loved very much and Abby the same. So, understandably, she would feel incredibly angry and feel the need for revenge, just the same as Ellie and the player after Joel’s death.

There is now a cycle of revenge. Ellie goes on to kill Abby’s friends, and so Abby tries to kill Ellie and her friends. It’s not until Lev talks Abby out of it that the cycle seems to have been “broken”. Abby and Lev put it behind them, however, Ellie cannot and nor can Tommy, which means that the cycle is not broken. Ellie continues her hunt for revenge, thinking it’s still what she needs. Just as she’s about to murder Abby, she sees it’s completely useless.

Here I’m going to talk about another core theme of the story: loss. As Ellie is about to kill Abby, she realises that Joel is gone. Completely gone, and killing Abby is not going to change that. She now has Lev, and if Ellie was to kill Abby, Lev would only lose Abby, leaving him in the same situation Ellie was in at the start of the game, which in turn means Ellie is becoming what she set out to kill. It’s no use. Revenge only causes more pain and loss. This cycle is so vicious and nobody wins, and Abby realised this once she found Lev, and found that revenge is a futile thing that does not achieve anything, especially not bringing back her dead friends. She managed to break the cycle herself, and in turn, she found a life worth living, a live with Lev. However, Ellie could not manage this, choosing to still seek revenge.

Because of this, she faces the consequences. She loses all of her loved ones. She loses Dina, she loses Jesse and she loses her baby son, JJ. Tommy is the same too. Tommy couldn’t break the cycle, and he loses his wife, Maria. And guess what, Joel is still gone. All of that loss, yet Joel is still dead. It’s all been for nothing. Ellie is now completely alone, which is what she said she was scared of in the first game, all because of revenge. The way forward is not anger, rage or revenge, but acceptance and love. That’s my takeaway.

You may think this treatment of Joel and Ellie is “disrespectful”, but I disagree. In the first game, you do a lot of bad things as these characters. Yeah, you go through a lot of pain, but so has everybody else, yet they still face the unfavorable consequences. It only makes sense that Joel and Ellie would too. In my opinion, this only helps to build the world of The Last of Us and show that just because Joel and Ellie are the main characters, they aren’t invincible, and the world doesn’t revolve around them. They just happen to be two people who live in the world amongst so many others, which for me, makes it so much more realistic. This is emphasised in the incredible detail in the gameplay of each enemy having names, with other enemies interacting with eachother as you stalk them. It makes them feel so much more real and only increased my enjoyability.

From a story like this, which is so dark and gritty, I don’t expect a happy ending. You’re not supposed to like Ellie by the end of this story, as she serves as the example of why the cycle of revenge is horrible. You’re not supposed to feel satisfied by it, you’re supposed to feel empty, hurt and sad. That is literally the point. 

You have to realise that The Last Of Us is a piece of artistic storytelling told and made by artists. It would have been so easy for Neil Druckmann to write a boring and two-dimensional story to appease players and make bank. But he didn’t. He chose to craft an intricate, heavy and creative direction for his material, and I hugely respect that. At the end of the day, he doesn’t owe you anything. This is his story, and these are his characters, he can do what he wants with them. If you don’t like his creative vision, then great! You don’t have to. If you don’t like something, just don’t play/watch/read it. If you loved the first game but hated the second, then just pretend it doesn’t exist and come up with your own fanfiction for these characters, it probably wouldn’t have been as good as this.

A lot of people blame “bad writing” when they don’t like something. There’s a difference between feeling bad about something than it being bad writing, you know. Just because it wasn’t what you wanted, doesn’t mean the writing is bad. By you feeling angry about Joel dying, Neil Druckmann’s writing has accomplished its objective. And I’m not trying to say that everybody who doesn’t like this game didn’t like it because their fanfiction didn’t come true. You cannot like this game solely because you don’t like the direction it took, and that’s fine. Because again, this story is a piece of artistic storytelling, and art is subjective.

This entire post is just my opinion. I personally loved this story and these characters, and it was exactly what I wanted to get out of this game. Everything about the game I just adored. I loved the plot, the writing, the characters, the gameplay, the music, the visuals, the performances - everything. And if you didn’t, then great. That’s your opinion. It just hurts me to see so many people dismissing the incredible things achieved in this game solely because of one plot point. I don’t know. As I said, I’m not trying to change your opinion or anything, I just thought I’d share mine.

I only scratched the surface of my thoughts and opinions on this game. I could talk about it for hours, which only goes to show the extent of its achievements and how incredible it really is. I doubt anybody is reading this and that’s fine, apologies if none of what I said made any sense at all lol, I’m awful at articulating my opinions aha.   

[letterboxd]

Work Horse.

Taking on a rare leading role in his decades-spanning career, national treasure Tim Blake Nelson speaks with Mitchell Beaupre about demystifying heroes, reinventing genres and something called a quiche Western.

“This film is unapologetic about all the tropes that it’s deploying in service of telling the story... You’ve got a satchel full of cash. You’ve got gunslinging, physical violence, and feeding somebody to the pigs.” —Tim Blake Nelson

Described by Letterboxd members as “a national treasure” who “makes everything better”, Tim Blake Nelson is a journeyman actor who has tapped into practically every side of the industry since making his feature debut in Nora Ephron’s This Is My Life back in 1992. Whether you are a Marvel fanatic, a history buff or a parent trying to get through the day, the actor’s distinctive presence is a charming sight that’s always welcome on the screen.

Tim Blake Nelson is one of those rare actors who unites all filmgoers, a man genuinely impossible not to love, which certainly seems to be the case for Hollywood. Checking off working relationships with directors ranging from Terrence Malick and Ang Lee to Hal Hartley and Guillermo Del Toro, Nelson has covered the boards, even crossing over into directing and writing, both in films and on the stage.

Yet, despite being a renowned talent who can take a smaller supporting role in a massive Steven Spielberg blockbuster starring Tom Cruise and carry the film, Nelson-as-leading-man sightings have been few and far between. In fact, it’s quite a struggle to find a film with Nelson in a leading role, as even playing the titular role for directors who understand his greatness still results in him only appearing in the opening section of an anthology feature.

At last, the leading role Nelson fans were in need of has arrived in the form of Old Henry, a new Western from writer/director Potsy Ponciroli. Nelson plays the eponymous Henry, a widowed farmer with a mysterious past who makes a meager living with his son (Gavin Lewis), doing his best to leave his old life behind and hide away from the world. Things get complicated when Henry stumbles upon a satchel of cash and a wounded stranger (Scott Haze), bringing them both into his home. Soon, a dangerous posse led by an intimidating Stephen Dorff comes calling, setting the stage for an old-fashioned throwdown in this twisty Western siege thriller.

Premiering at the Venice Film Festival, Old Henry has been warmly received on Letterboxd. “Old Henry feels like the culmination of Tim Blake Nelson’s twenty-plus-year career, but from another dimension, where he’s highly regarded as a leading man”, writes Noah, speaking not only to the strength of Nelson’s performance, but also to the fact that this leading role shouldn’t be such a rarity. Todd awards Nelson the prize for “Best Facial Hair in a 2021 film”, before applauding the actor for pouring “every emotion in his body to play Henry”.

Letterboxd’s East Coast editor Mitchell Beaupre saddled up for a chat with Nelson about the intentional hokiness of the Westerns that made him fall in love with filmmaking, how the Coen brothers put other directors on notice, and the fatherly joy of keeping it all in the family.

I’ve seen a lot of interviews with you discussing your career as an actor, a writer, and a director. You always speak with such reverence for the art. Where does that passion come from for you? What made you want to pursue this field? Tim Blake Nelson: It’s funny, doing these interviews for Old Henry has been reminding me of my introduction to filmmaking as an art. I’ve realized that I had never quite located it, but it really started with the Sergio Leone Westerns, which I would see on television when I was growing up in Oklahoma in the ’70s. Before that, going to the cinema was always invariably a treat, no matter what the film, but I would just be following the story and the dialogue.

The Sergio Leone movies were the first ones that exposed subjectivity in telling stories on film to me. That was where I became aware of the difference between a closeup and an extreme closeup, or how you could build tension through a combination of the angle on a character with the editorial rhythm, with the lens size, with the music in addition to the dialogue and the story.

How old were you when this shift in your understanding of cinema was happening? I think it was across the ages of ten and eighteen, where I suddenly realized that this was an auteur here, Leone. There was a guy behind all these movies I was seeing—and in Oklahoma, you could see a Sergio Leone movie every weekend. This was a man making deliberate and intelligent decisions in everything that I was seeing.

I started noticing that a character was in a duster that goes all the way down to his boots, even though that’s not necessarily accurate to the Old West. That’s something else. Also, why is he wearing it in the desert? Would that have been very practical? And look at that cigar Clint Eastwood is smoking. It’s not smooth, it looks like it was a piece of tree root. Then later I learned it’s a particular kind of Italian cigar, but somehow it was defining this genre of Western. I marveled at that, and found it unbelievably thrilling to discover. I loved the stories and the dialogue and the intentional hokiness of it all. All of it was conspiring to teach me to venerate this form.

Sergio Leone, his daughters, and Clint Eastwood on the set of ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’ (1966).

The connection there is interesting between the Leone Westerns to where Old Henry is at now. You’ve talked before about how the Western genre is one that is reinvented over and over throughout the years— Oh, you do your homework!

I try my best! What would you say defines the current era of Westerns that we’re seeing, and how the genre is being reinvented? Well, Joel and Ethan [Coen] did a lot of mischief, in a good way, with The Ballad of Buster Scruggs. Genres are always about genres, in addition to their story. So, I would say that Buster Scruggs is the quintessential postmodern Western, if you look at it as one movie instead of as an anthology, because it celebrates the history of the form. The magic of that movie is that it engages you in each story while also being a meditation on death. That’s what connects each one of those tales, and then it’s also a meditation on storytelling to boot. In the final chapter, you have a character talking about why we love stories, and he’s telling it to a bunch of people who you’ll learn are all dead.

The stories are a way of delaying the inevitable mortality. I mean, look at that. It’s such an accomplishment. With that movie, I think Joel and Ethan put filmmakers on notice that Westerns had better always be also about Westerns, because whether you like it or not, they are. I think they probably came to understand that when they were making True Grit, although knowing the two of them they probably understood it already.

Do you feel there’s a direct correlation between a movie like Buster Scruggs and Old Henry, in this era of postmodern, revisionist Westerns? How it impacts a movie like Old Henry is that you have Potsy embracing the Western-ness of the movie. This film is unapologetic about all the tropes that it’s deploying in service of telling the story. You’ve got the cantankerous old man hiding a past, who’s a maverick who wants to keep the law and the bad guys off his property. He wants to be left alone. You’ve got a satchel full of cash. You’ve got gunslinging, physical violence, and feeding somebody to the pigs. Yet, it’s all accomplished without irony in a very straightforward way that is utterly confident, and in love with the genre.

I think ultimately that’s why the movie works, because it’s very front-footed. It’s not hiding from you. It’s not deceiving you and trying to tell you it’s something that it isn’t. It’s a good, straightforward Western.

Tim Blake Nelson as the titular singer in ‘The Ballad of Buster Scruggs’ (2018).

That’s a bit different from those Leone Westerns, with all of their anachronisms. I remember when the movie Silverado came out when I was growing up, and people were calling it a “quiche Western”, which was funny. That was what they would call it in Oklahoma because it had a bunch of movie stars in it, who weren’t known for being in Westerns. It was the Sergio Leone crowd calling it that. I went and saw it, wondering, “Well, if it’s a quiche Western, then why is everybody talking about it?” I saw it, and I loved it. Those folks putting it down like that were wrong. It’s actually a straightforward, hard-boiled, hardcore unapologetic Western. You don’t like some of the movie stars in it, but get over it. The reason that movie works is because it’s straight-ahead and well-told, and I think that movie holds up.

Old Henry is the same kind of animal. It’s more in the tradition of Sergio Leone—or, actually, I would say more in the tradition of Unforgiven. That was a big influence on Potsy.

Unforgiven was marvelous in the way it demystified that old black hat/white hat mentality of Westerns, opening up a more multi-dimensional understanding. You’re no stranger to that. A series like Watchmen takes that approach with superheroes, who in a sense hold the position now that Western heroes used to hold culturally. Do you find there’s more of a demand these days to challenge those archetypes who used to be put on pedestals—be they superheroes, cowboys, police—and provide a deeper analysis? Absolutely, yes. At the same time, I think the demystified Western hero goes back to John Wayne in The Searchers. I think it really started with that character, one of the greatest characters ever in a Western. There’s One-Eyed Jacks, with Marlon Brando, which was made just after The Searchers, and again embracing this concept of an extremely complicated man. I don’t think you get the Sergio Leone movies without that.

I always think of McCabe & Mrs. Miller as a Western that was doing something totally different than anything I had seen before. That’s another one, with that final image with the character smoking opium, going into oblivion after the demise of Warren Beatty’s very flawed character, after you’ve watched what it has taken to really build that town. You have a director, Robert Altman, making the deliberate choice to shoot in order so that they can build the town while they’re shooting the movie, and you really get the cost of it. I think there’s a lot of history to get to a place where a movie like Unforgiven can happen. Then Clint comes along and, as he often does, moves it forward even more.

Gavin Lewis as Henry’s son Wyatt in ‘Old Henry’.

That’s a film that tackles legacy, as does Old Henry, which at its core is ultimately about the relationship between a father and his son. You got to work on this film with your own son, coincidentally named Henry, who was part of the art department. What is that experience like, getting to share your passion with your son on a project together? Well, I think something that is true for the character of Henry and for myself, and perhaps all of us, is that we all want our kids to have better lives than ours. I want that to be true in every respect. Mostly, I want them to be more fulfilled than I have been. My kids look at me when I say that and say, “Thanks a lot Dad for raising that bar”, because they see that I have a pretty good life. Which I do, but I still think they can be more fulfilled than I am, and I want that for them. One of the great privileges of this movie was to watch my son—who was the on-set decorator—work his ass off.

Those are the words of an incredibly proud father. He’s a work horse, and he’s learning about filmmaking, and I think on his current trajectory he will go beyond where I’ve gone as a filmmaker, directing more movies than I’ve been able to direct. Do a better job at it, too. He’s also a singer-songwriter, and I think he can have a venerable career doing that if he wants, but he wants to make movies too, and I hope that’s going to happen for him. It was a thrill to watch him do the work, the twelve- and fourteen-hour days, and after every take resetting and making sure everything was right. It felt like an accomplishment to see him take on that responsibility and do the real work every day.

Related content

SJ Holiday’s lists of Essential Neo-Westerns and Essential Modern Westerns

The Best Neo-Westerns of the 21st Century, according to JS Lewis

Our interview with Slow West director John Maclean

Follow Mitchell on Letterboxd

‘Old Henry’ is in US theaters now and on VOD from Friday, October 8.

[selkiesbittybonanza]

500 Followers Appreciation Bitty Profiles! (+ Bonus bitty!) (ALL FREE TO ADOPT)

Fellswap Gold Lamia Bittys

Merlot

Snake: Taipan

Venomous?: Yes

Size (Bitty): Length - 0.5-1m (1.6-3.3 ft.), Standing - 0.25-0.5m (0.8-1.6 ft)

Size (Full Sized): Length - 1.5-2m (5-6 ft), Standing 1-1.25m (3-5 ft)

Merlots are very calm and soothing bittys, they always seem to have it together. It can be easy to let them take control of things – you always feel like they have your best interests at heart. Merlots are very distinguished, they don’t appreciate looking disheveled, it gives them an almost “old man” quality. A Merlot’s nest is impeccably clean – you may even find a doily or two! And they somehow have a bowl of no-name candy to offer guests like a strange satire on how seniors live everywhere. However he had an eye for quality and doesn’t accept poor quality furnishings. While a Merlot doesn’t mind taking charge, he appreciates an adopter who takes initiative. A Merlot isn’t above using intimidation to get his way, but he’s so smooth about it you have a hard time noticing! He prides himself in being unflappable, to demand respect without screaming for it. He certainly has a devious side – he didn’t get this far without knowing how to “play the game” and isn’t above a few white lies for the sake of it. He can be quite paternal as well, he enjoys taking younger bittys under his “wing” and helping raising them. While he can seem rather stiff he’s actually a warm-hearted bitty who enjoys cuddles and being needed.

Espresso

Snake: Black-tailed Criibo

Venomous?: No

Size (Bitty): Length - 0.75-1m (2.4-3.3 ft), Standing - 0.25-0.5m (0.8-1.6 ft)

Size (Full Sized): Length - 2-2.5m (7-8.5 ft), Standing - 1-1.5m (3-5 ft)

Despite the name: Espressos aren’t very active bittys. They mostly prefer the quiet – gaming and drawing are their favourite hobbies. They tend to be shy and soft spoken – loud people can startle them into muteness and a lot of the time they prefer to communicate in non-verbal ways. If you want a gaming companion an Espresso is your perfect bitty match: but be warned – gaming is a fixation for them. If you ask them to not continue a game until you can play it together later it’s almost unfair to them, they’ll become obsessed with what’s next. Games with both single player and co-op content is more ideal – he can work on the single player campaign while he waits for you to come back to the co-op campaign. His shyness makes multi-player gaming a bit hit or miss – he doesn’t like gaming where a lot of communication and strategy is necessary – he prefers staying quiet and working towards objective without any instruction given or taken. His exception is co-op, he loves playing games together with you and feels his most accomplished when you both complete a challenging level together. He isn’t super competitive but takes pride in his skills so be careful setting up play-dates with bittys that may not appreciate losing to a quiet, seemingly submissive bitty. Despite his quiet and gentle nature he isn’t one to allow people to take advantage of him  or disrespect him – he will stand up for himself, usually by exiting the situation instead of getting into an argument, and when pushed, he WILL fight back. He is surprisingly skilled and controls his magic well.

G!Siblings Ampitheres 

So I decided to give my ampitheres the same human-like intelligence of all my other lamia bittys, but restrict them to a one-size bitty like my Harpys. Honestly a full size ampithere’s wingspan would make them pretty tough to house indoors… 

Suave

Snake: Bolen’s Python

Venomous?: No

Size: 1-1.5m long (3-5ft), 0.5m (2ft) standing

Suaves pride themselves on being, well, suave and flirtatious – it helps them stay in control of the conversation and relationship so you don’t discover how much of a dork they really are. Suaves inherited Gaster’s love or building important monuments – like the Core. He’s interested in work that will stand the test of time, with the added benefit of being practical. He’s not interested in building, say: the Pyramids for vainglory. But, if that Pyramid was covered in solar panels that provided electricity for the nearby citizens – that’s up his alley. He also has an interest in motorized vehicles like cars, trucks and motorcycles – but he admits he’d have a difficult time using one without a lot of modifications. Which could be fun. Suaves love flashy experiments and inventions that leave an impact on his audience: however, when he’s working on his next big thing he ends up working at all hours of the night in his pajamas. His inspirations are flashes of brilliance and a flurry of work, after which, he collapses into a deep sleep for up to 36 hours. Despite appearances Suaves are huge nerds who love to share their work with interested listeners and isn’t above goofy shenanigans. They share a Sans’ sense of humour and laid back attitude – but it’s a mask to cover the whirling chaos of the mind within. Suaves can be surprisingly immature and will get a kick out of pranks and childish humour. A Suave can summon up to four disembodied “hands” to help him work on projects that require dexterity but doesn’t often use constructs in offensive magic. He’s more of a behind-the-scenes guy – but he can certainly manage bone attacks.

Savvy

Snake: Amazon Tree Boa

Venomous?: No

Size: 1.25-1.75m long (4-6ft), 0.75m (2.5ft) standing

While Suaves are the rock star scientists, the Savvys end up being in the babysitter role more times than they’d like. Savvys inherited Gaster’s interest in the soul and physical health of monsters and humans; since Savvys are on the autistic spectrum it helps them understand others better because, although they have trouble empathizing with others, it does not mean they don’t CARE. I head-cannon that smoking is a Gaster-trait and a Savvy’s Papyrus half REFUSES to participate in such a disgusting habit! Therefore Savvy’s tend to have an oral fixation to make up for the lack of smoking: chewing on the end of pencils, pens, their own tails… and rely far too much on caffeine. A Savvy works hard, but on a schedule and his experiments are always tightly controlled as opposed to a Suave’s scientific method. Savvys are polite, distinguished and a bit absent minded when it comes to personal relationships. If you’re looking for a bitty that will faun over you – look elsewhere. While Savvy’s certainly care about their adopters and family they are independent and self sufficient. They can seem humourless but the right touch can send them into giggles, they are very passionate about their interests and appreciate an interested audience (or at least captive). Savvys enjoy being needed and do well in situations where they can work as doctor’s, biologists or psychologists. They’re not judgmental and they like to look at the world with endless curiosity and enthusiasm! Savvys can summon up to four disembodied “hands” to help him work on projects that require dexterity but prefers to use his magical energies in his studies and use of healing magic. His offensive magic abilities are rather stunted because of this.

Bonus Lamia Bitty - Blueberror

Blue Ribbon

Snake: Blue striped Ribbon Snake

Venomous?: No

Size (Bitty): 0.5-1m (1.6-3ft), 0.3m standing

Size (Full Sized):1-1.5m (3-5ft) 0.5m standing

Ribbons are afraid of being alone (autophobic), they know that being alone in the anti-void is what caused their transformations from Blueberries to Blueberrors. They thrive in large families and want to be seen as a friend and protector by the group. Do not adopt one of these guys if you spend a lot of time out of the home and can’t provide them attention. A bitty family is a good stop-gap but they really need validation and one-on-one time with their adopters. Ribbons retain most of their personality traits from their Blueberry days but they’re a little… off. A little, too intense. Ribbons can get caught up in an emotion or situation and can spiral out of control whether the emotion is: joy, anger, frustration, or fear. They need a patient friend who can help them “reset” their emotional clock. Of course, being an Error, it sometimes causes a hard crash that they need to restart from. Depending on the situation they can forget completely what had set them off and will continue along like nothing happened. Other times, they remember what happened but the restart gave them enough time to reprocess so they can move on and get past what set them off. They can get depressed easily especially is someone is afraid or intimidated by him – he knows he’s different now, but he’s still a good guy at heart! A Ribbons magic is star-based – they create star-shaped attacks and can even summon a star to ride around on like Kirby.

Creators

Blueberror created by @loverofpiggies​

Fellswap Gold AU created by @blackggggum​

G!Sans created by @bouru​

Art

Fellswap Gold Sans & Papyrus + Blueberror Lamias commissioned from @calmchapsart​

G!Siblings Ampitheres commissioned from @me-and-my-gaster​

all art commissioned by me: @sealpointselkie​ / @selkiesbittybonanza​

[dreamties]

Slashers W/ a Soft Pastel S/O

A/n - So this one actually wasn’t requested, I just thought it would be super cute. And what I mean by “Soft Pastel”, I mean being into soft/pastel/kawaii fashion, I just didn’t know how to phrase it. Since there’s so many subcultures.

Trigger Warning: Slight Cursing (I say f*ck)

Also- these are gender neutral, but a few describe you in skirts/dresses, so if you’re not comfy with that, just skip that part or the whole thing?? :/

I might do more like this for other types of alternative fashion- like punk or something? Or a S/O who has a lot of body mods, I think it would be fun.

Characters: Billy/Stu, The Lost Boys, Helen Lyle, Daniel Robitaille/Candyman, Brahms Heelshire, and Amanda Young.

I didn’t add Michael Myers, but can do so if y’all want it. I just think he’d be very indifferent about it...didn’t think that would be very fun to read.

Billy Loomis + Stu Macher

Stu would be the most like into your outfits

Billy? Not so much. he just thinks you look cute in everything.

but if you did more guro-kawaii looks? they would both be all over that shit. 

it combines more of the grotesque in with the cute- which is just perfect for the boys. they get to see you dawned in all sorts of blood, guts/gore, bandage patterns/aesthetics.

and maybe even tying in different monster-ish elements. 

like wearing funky white or other unnatural colored contacts, really intense makeup(especially around the eyes), and fuck it, maybe you’re wearing faux demon horns.

I think they’d find it kinda hot. if we’re being perfectly honest here.

Now- would you able to get them into it as well?

Stu will ask you, with excitement reverberating throughout out his body and his voice. of course he want’s to at least try it!

so many clips in Stu’s hair. you haven’t even had that many in your hair before!

he may also wear rings sometimes. he thinks all the colors and designs are just so fun!

and on the other hand...

Billy, the guy that basically wore the same outfit for an entire movie? who’s closet only contains jeans and white t-shirts? trying out your style? i don’t think so lol

if you do- somehow- get him to try...

then you might have pressured him into it a bit? very jokingly, of course. 

“C’mon, humor me, babe. Stu’s already dressed and everything!” You try giving him puppy eyes to seal the deal.

“Fine!” Billy says, grabbing the garment and a few clips from your hands. He shuts the door too harshly behind him.

A short silence is shared, before you and Stu burst out laughing. “Do you think he’s mad at us?” You’re hardly able to get it out. Of course he was, but in his own odd way appreciated this adventure.

He comes back a moment later, his white t-shirt replaced with a pastel red one, an especially gory character printed on the front. and a red clip barely hanging on to one of the side pieces of hair in front of his face. You try to suppress a giggle at Billy’s messily put together look.

for the love of gosh- don’t actually laugh when he appears. he is very outside of his comfort zone, and he’s only doing this because he loves you and Stu, and just,, don’t add this to his list of reasons not to try new things.

whatever your reaction ends up being, you’re absolutely obligated to tell them how attractive they look in it(even Billy who looks hella dorky).

(my art)

The Lost Boys

the comparison between their dark, punk-ish style and then the sweet baby pinks and blues, and soft lavenders that adorned your form?? 

it’s just too sweet.

they are completely enamored by your style- even if certain vampires (and I’m not naming any names, but I definitely mean David) may not show his love for your look as openly

Marko- he’d get one cutesy patch for his jacket, so he has like a little piece of you everywhere he goes. also...he genuinely ended up really digging your style? but not enough to abandon his punk look completely. he is still totally dedicated to that.

the other boys will absolutely mess with him about the patch though

all in good fun!

David’s not letting you near his hair with any extra clips or accessories. 

Dwayne enjoys the quiet intimacy shared between the two of you. just sitting together, you might be styling his hair( super loose ponytail or braid- admit it, it would be so cute! and helpful so his hair isn’t always in his face!)...anyways, you’d use a colorful hair tie, and a few clips to help pin back his hair. 

he probably won’t go out with the clips in, but if it’s just the five of you at the cave? he’ll keep it in until it’s time to sleep. 

he loves seeing how happy and accomplished you look after finishing with his hair tho.

Paul is hands down the most likely to get into the whole look and go out in public with it on. 

makeup? hell yeah. it won’t be as intense as yours, and he probably only does the eyes and maybe some shine. sparkly vampire time

hair accessories? all of them

would try combining his look with yours, to have a perfect mess of it.

a light, light  blue mesh top, slightly darker blue jacket(with slight accents in pink, purple, white or black), and his usual sort of white jeans(?) would still look great with it. he’s absolutely rocking that look.

you are ecstatic to finally have someone else to share your passion with! (much harder to find similar folks when you’re a vampire,,)

Helen Lyle

she’s so used to the plain life around her, and she’d been living before you- you were such a breath of fresh air.

of course, you’re darling personality also drew her into you- but your fashion sense? it fascinated her.

she’s not trying it herself anytime soon, but she appreciates the fact that you enjoy it. 

the most she would ever try is a very natural makeup look. and a coat or two of a pastel color of her choice.

she would love watching you get ready. not so much help out though- she just likes seeing the way you approach things. how you choose to pair certain pieces with one another.

she’ll ask questions to better understand your interests! not that it’s weird or wrong that you’re into it, she’s just a very inquisitive person.

you’d wear a lot of blue though- because you know Helen likes that color.

imagine wearing coordinated looks for different events and such. so, when you go with Helen to help out with her Candyman thesis, you might wear candy-themed attire. (of course in this universe,, she wouldn’t die! so no worries of that! you get to keep you’re gf).

if you do gift her something, she keeps it on her bedside table(or dresser). so she can still admire it, and still serves a purpose. fun décor!

all around though- Helen would be very chill, but captivated, about you’re interests.

Daniel Robitaille - Candyman

 his life is so dark and gruesome, and he loves seeing you all dressed up. 

and while he’s dead- long dead- and isn’t really apart of the world in the same sense that you are- it gives him this happy sense of hope for the world.

because there’s this very small thing, that you hold close to your heart, that makes you smile.

Also!!

even if they’re apart of a super awful, traumatic, part of his past- the bees are just a part of the family now.  

so cute yellow/spring/bee themed outfits?? yes. ohh definitely, yes.

As for him dressing up? He’d feel hesitant.

he’s filled with immense joy around you, but is almost scared with someone altering part of his attire or self in any way(rooted back to, again, past stuff).

but part of loving is to take the person as a whole, bad parts, good parts- insecurities- the entire package. and trusting one another.

he has his whole faith in you not to do anything bad.

and so, it becomes a habit for the two of you to spend mornings together, chatting and getting ready. well, you’re getting ready, it’s more for the quality time together for him.

things are little different for Daniel. for many reasons. 

one, he has very short hair. so the clips don’t really work there..

two- he only has one hand, and he’s “working” a lot with the appendages he does have. rings won’t work out because they might fall off- and he’d hate to lose something of yours.

three- he’s not a big makeup fan. he’s happy enough watching you put it on.

and then for his actual attire- he needs the coat to cover his insides. it’s also, in a way, his uniform.

you’ve settled on two things.

making homemade necklaces that can easily hide under his big coat (either sweets or honey/bee themed).

and sewing little patterns on the inside of his coat. other’s wouldn’t be able to see it, but he would know it’s there.

Brahms Heelshire

imagine being super into sorta ‘sweet lolita’, pastel/soft colors, bows, the big skirts, all the sorta ruffles(?)

 and then especially if your shorter than Brahms(which is really,, not hard to do unless you’re insanely tall cause he’s,, 6 foot 3.)- and he thinks you look like such a doll? 

but like,, in a nice way. 

I think he’d get pretty excited if he got to help you set up your outfits!

especially if you praised him for picking out a good combo, or organizing correctly.

and some of Brahms movements are a bit awkward, he’s spent most of his life in the walls and the attic...but imagine turning on his music, and just dancing with him. having him twirl you in his arms a few times.

Brahms loves having your hands through his hair. and if hair accessories means he gets more of that love and attention? then yes,, yes he will wear them.

he just likes feeling taken care of, and along with your usual duties, you help him figure out the soft fashion styles, and how to make it more appealing and suitable for his own tastes.

because- as you insist- you want it to be something he enjoys just because he does, and not just for the closeness. though you can’t deny you love that aspect, too.

i can tell you one thing right here, though. you’re never getting makeup on him. he does not like taking off his mask, even if you’ve been in a relationship with him for a while, he still hides his face a lot.

you’d offered to do his makeup once, since he was staring so intently as you did yours. you’d made the mistake of reaching for his mask. you’d usually ask before doing so, but sometimes you’d slip up.

You apologize profusely, offering your arms out to him for a hug. “There, there, Brahms.” You smile, giving him a slight squeeze of affection. 

he does take your stuff sometimes. 

it’s a little annoying when you think you’ve lost your favorite accessory or dress or etc and then you just realize,, oh, it’s my favorite wall boy again. thank gosh you love him, so you’re not really upset or anything.

he just likes having little reminders of you, it gives him reassurance. upon other warm and fuzzy feelings.

if you’re able to find time in your day though, you’ll make cute little trinkets or bracelets for him. you’ll gift them or purposely leave them out for him-  so you’ll still have some of your stuff when it comes to getting ready the next day.

in short- he’d much rather look at you than partake on his own. 

Amanda Young

she’s never seen anything like this! :0

everyone she knows, herself included, tend to wear more dulled, plain clothes.

she’s immediately very intrigued by your attire...sort of want’s to try it, but is a bit self conscious and embarrassed to ask.

So!! you start out with small things, and fairly early on you both realize that she loves when you decorate her hair with accessories. 

gifting Amanda a pair of little pig clips!!

or little stud earrings- those would be fricking adorable on her!

and she’s just so happy,, wtf

you dress mostly for yourself, but the more you’re in a relationship with your gf- the more you want to dress for her as well. 

you can see this little sparkle in her eye when she sees you, and you want to keep seeing that look for as long as you can.

you slowly get her into it. your relationship and Amanda’s interest in your style just gives her so much light in an otherwise dim world.

if she did get into it, I think she’d do more creepy/cute. as a way to sort of cope with past trauma. that this sort of “bad” thing (the creepy) can still coexist with the good (the cute). she admires that quality.

just very sweet partners, who happen to love similar types of fashion