#Because I draw/write daily on a small sever of people that I get a lot of feedback on and who I give feedback to too and engage with too

[assmundr]

Hey you're back on critiquing webcomics! Does that mean you're also going to start posting Crystal Clear again soon???

Oh no, my kryptonite fhfhxdbcjxj

I honestly really don't think so. It's even less likely than me restarting and finishing the Asmundr/Home review video essay.

Two main reasons for that:

1) The story is So. Incredibly. Outdated that continuing it as it is would not be up to my current standard whatsoever and I just wouldn't enjoy telling a story I see as incredibly flawed. I firstly conceived this story when I was like eleven (or twelve) then started to cough it out when I was sixteen. I am now twenty five, twenty six in a few days, and whatever I created when I was a teenager is just not up to my standard today. All the experience, maturity and objectivity that I have today is not what I had back then, so it's lacking severely in a lot of departments. The story would need to be rewritten completely to fit what I'd consider adequate today, which leads me to my second reason.

2) It takes so damn long to do. I am an incredibly slow artist already, burdened with neurodivergence, meaning that I get distracted and burned out so much more easier than other people. A single page could take anywhere from 6-12 hours to make, spread across several days because my ability to focus is akin to an eight year old ipad kid addicted to Cocomelon. I work six days a week and just don't have time to dedicate most of my life to something nobody really cared about anyway. When I was a teenage student? Yeah. When I was unemployed and seeking a job? Yeah. When quarantine was a thing? Yeah. But not right now.

I'm sorry if you were hoping for a positive answer but. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be and CC seems to be one of those things.

I'm still an artist, I draw nearly every day! But the content I focus on is marginally different from what CC is and also only posted in a private circle of friends. Now with the terror of AI scraping hanging above every real artist's head like the Sword of Damocles, I have no real interest in sharing my art publicly.

[clovers-housetree]

Activities for Regressors Without Caregivers! (or just fun regression activties!)

(Although you're always welcome here if you'd like any form of comfort anyway! ^w^)

This one's kind of a long one, after the few tips I list, I've mentioned an app I use called Finch, which will be talked about below the cut.

Since that's the case, I'll put my little ending message here instead:

Knowing how to take care of yourself can take a lot of work and practice, but I believe it's worth the effort, because then you'll be a happier and healthier you! Especially if you can find ways to make it fun!

I'm more than happy to be here for you and offer my support in any way I can, anyhow! I'm proud of you for doing what you can, I know it can be very hard.

I myself don't have a caregiver for when I regress, so most of the time I end up taking care of myself! Here are some fun activities and things I do when I regress to keep myself calm and happy! ^w^

Paci mentions/pics not long after the first section for those of you who'd rather not see 'em.

♥ Arts and crafts! I absolutely LOVE coloring and making bracelets with beads, something not too complicated for little hands, but also something fun!

With coloring, you can buy coloring books, or draw something of your own to color in- even printing out a page you find online, coloring digitally, or tracing over something to color in could work! I prefer coloring more than drawing personally because I don't draw all the time, but I bet I could learn a little thing or two from the artists around here!

For bracelets (and other jewelry), strings can be hard to knot with little hands (at least they aren't those small, slippery clasps!!), but the beads shouldn't be too hard to handle if you're careful! Even just planning out patterns is fun!

Here are some My Little Pony bracelets I made, and the decorations I did for my pacis!

♥ Making playlists! Dancing is fun, and a good way to get the zoomies out, but you can just make playlists for any occasion! I have playlists that help me pet-regress, songs with sounds I like, adventure playlists... (Well- a lot of these are still in progress, but- you get the point!)

I also love those playlist videos on YouTube! Animal Crossing, Super Mario Galaxy, Minecraft and music box music are typically my go-to to help me settle or just make for comfy background music! Here's one of my favorites, shadowatnoon has lovely Nintendo music mixes!

♥ Playing with your plushies! You can take them on adventures, or make your own!

Like Toby, climbing The Great Pillow Mountain!

(This is Toby by the way, he's one of my best friends and a VERY good hugger!)

You can play games with them, too! Toby's REALLY good at hide and seek... Maybe you can find him for me? :0

♥ Finding shows to watch! I really like Paw Patrol and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the moment. Plus, you can look at agere content and fics from shows you like! People make really cool stimboards and moodboards, for example, and I like reading through all the fun stories people write!

Here's a silly picture of Rocky I found! :3

Finch

Finch is a self-care app where you take care of your very own little bird friend by taking care of yourself!

You can set daily goals, or for each day (or more specific ones as well I think.). By completing these goals, you give your bird energy to go on adventures! They usually come back with a funny little story or silly questions, because they're learning, too!

Through completing these goals (or daily, at least), you can get Rainbow Stones, which you can use to buy clothes for your bird, make them different colors, or give them furniture for their house!

They're also LGBTQ+ and disability-friendly!! :3

This is my little bird, Honeydew! You're welcome to friend me as well if you'd like, my code is: Z3E2T7VRK6

It's helped me learn a lot about taking care of myself and keeping track of my goals, and I get little rewards for it! I've used the app for several months now, and it's helped me out a lot!

"Fluttershy protects this blog! SFW interaction only, please and thank you! ^w^"

"Wouldn't show a kid? Doesn't belong here!"

[books]

Writer Spotlight: Rose Sutherland

Rose Sutherland @rosesutherlandwrites is a Toronto-based writer who grew up a voracious reader with an overactive imagination in Nova Scotia (where she once fell off a roof trying to re-enact Anne of Green Gables!). She's been to theatre school in NYC, apprenticed at a pâtisserie in rural France, and currently moonlights as an usher and bartender—in between writing queer folktales, practicing yoga, dancing, singing, searching out amazing coffee and croissants, and making niche jokes about Victor Hugo on the internet. She's mildly obsessed with the idea of one day owning a large dog, several chickens, and maybe a goat. A Sweet Sting of Salt is her debut novel.

Keep reading for more about character arcs in A Sweet Sting of Salt, Rose's favorite fanfic tropes, and some excellent reading recs 👀

Can you tell us about A Sweet Sting of Salt and how you came to write it?

A Sweet Sting of Salt is a queer (f/f) historical reimagining of the classic folktale of the selkie wife, set in 1830’s Nova Scotia. I call it a “reimagining” because while it draws on the folktale, it’s not a retelling of that tale so much as a story playing out in relation to that mythology. I’d wanted to write something centering a love story between two women for a while, but the initial spark came from a Tumblr post! It suggested the idea of selkies testifying before the UN as victims of human trafficking, which reminded me of all the things I disliked about the original folktale and its inherent darkness that is generally glossed over, starting me down the rabbit hole toward finding my own story.

How did you approach research for A Sweet Sting of Salt, and what is a favorite historical fact you learned?

I joke that I did a lot of research by osmosis: I already had a lot of base knowledge about the location, having grown up in Nova Scotia, and then set the story in a period that I’ve been absorbing information about in a low-key way for ages—1832 is also the year of the student rebellion in Les Mis, so I’ve been gleaning tidbits about this era since I first got into the musical and book back in high school. However, I had to do more specific research into things like British divorce law, period midwifery, and animal husbandry. I also visited some small, hyper-local museums on the South Shore that gave me an invaluable glimpse into daily life. I also did some fun practical research into things like “How long does it take to walk from x to y?” and “How cold IS a plunge into this body of water in March?” (Spoiler: Very.) 

A fact that fascinated me but didn’t make it into the book was that some early European settlers in the area were granted lands by luck of the draw, pulling from a deck of playing cards: Each card was assigned to a specific 50-acre lot, and whatever you pulled, you were stuck with it.

When we meet them, Jean and Muirin are isolated for different reasons. What do you hope readers still searching for their people take away from A Sweet Sting of Salt?

That there’s always hope. It’s valuable and important to keep reaching out to the world around you, to be open, and not cut yourself off—the biggest reason for Jean’s loneliness at the beginning of this story is the way she has come to keep everyone around her at arm’s length, shutting herself away out of fear, and refusing to let anyone truly get to know her because she thinks that’s the best way to protect herself from being hurt again. Reaching out to others can take a real act of courage, especially if you’ve had bad experiences in the past, but “your people” will reach back to you.

Found family elements play a strong role throughout the novel, within supernatural and mundane settings and across species. Was this something you intended from the beginning, or did this grow out of writing the relationship between Jean and Muirin?

I always intended for Jean to have a found family of this type, which is something that a lot of queer people identify with, but those bonds also got stronger and more meaningful as I wrote, especially once Jean and Muirin began growing into their own family unit—their new relationship and the real danger that comes along with it put pressures on Jean’s other relationships that I hadn’t originally considered. Disagreements with Anneke and Laurie over Jean’s choices arise from their deep concern and love for her, and her own love and care for them, reflected in her responses, is a big part of what made them feel like a real family, for me. Jean and Laurie always having each other’s backs while also being the first to call one another out on their bullshit ended up being one of my favourite dynamics in the whole book.

The selkie myth carries an inherent element of transformation. What is a character transformation you most enjoyed writing, and why?

On a character level, the change in Jean’s worldview following a conversation with her childhood sweetheart meant a lot to me—it heals an old wound for her. I love how grounded and self-assured she is afterward, in spite of the daunting task still ahead of her. But my favourite transformation to write was the antagonist’s mask-off moment, where they directly threaten Jean for the first time. It’s so sly and coded so that only she will understand the menace behind it, a real dun-duh-dunnn moment, which was a lot of fun for me—I also enjoy the foreshadowing elements in that exchange.

This is your debut novel. Did anything surprise you about getting it from manuscript to published book?

Oh my gosh, how LONG it took! After I finished the original draft and decided it was worth attempting to publish, I spent over a year revising based on my own thoughts, input from beta readers, critique partners, and my mentor, Maureen Marshall (whom I connected with through the now defunct Author Mentor Match program, and whose book, The Paris Affair—about a young gay engineer attempting to help Gustave Eiffel secure the funding to build a certain celebrated Parisian landmark— is coming out in May). After that came a full year of querying agents and getting rejected. A lot. People loved Salty but weren’t quite sure what to do with her or where the book would fit in “the market,” which was hard to deal with at the time but is hilarious in retrospect: Salty was snapped up less than a month after she finally went out on submission! But that was back in 2022, and the book is only coming out now. Publishing can be painfully slow.

You’ve written fanfic in the past—do you have a favorite fanfic trope?

I’m not sure either of these counts as a trope, but I adore a character that’s “pure of heart, dumb of ass”, and love a truly unhinged Fanon Explanation For Canon Object. As a longtime Les Mis stan, I ship Tholomyes/Getting Punched. If you know, you know.

Do you have any favorite queer retellings of folktales you can recommend?

Right here on Tumblr, I’m a huge fan of @laurasimonsdaughter, who writes delightful riffs on classic folktales, truly inventive urban fantasy spins on old lore, and her own original folktales. 

I’m currently reading Spear, an amazing queer, gender-bent, Arthurian novella by Nicola Griffiths. Anna Burke’s books Thorn and Nottingham are up next on my TBR. Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of brilliant queer historicals that aren’t retellings (I recently loved Suzette Meyr’s The Sleeping Car Porter and Heather O’Neil’s When We Lost Our Heads) and wonderful historical retellings that aren’t queer (I highly recommend Molly Greeley’s beautiful, heartbreaking Marvelous, about the real-life couple that inspired Beauty and the Beast). Queer, historical retellings aimed at adults seem to be considered quite niche, still, and can take some digging to find! So, throwing this out to Tumblr: Do you have recommendations for me?

Do you have a writing routine? Is there a place/state of being/playlist you find most conducive to your writing practice?

My routine is chaotic at best, but I find I do my best work earlier in the day, so I usually scribble in my journal while I have breakfast, and then progress to working on my current project as I drink my second cup of coffee. I’m lucky—my day job is an evening gig, which mostly allows me to write on my preferred schedule… but I’ve also been known to have a bolt of inspiration strike at 10pm and dash home to write until well past midnight on occasion. Nothing quite like the hyperfocus zone!

What’s next for you? Are you working on anything you can tell us about?

No official news yet, but I’m currently working on a story set in 18th-century provincial France based on a true unsolved mystery of the past. It has me delving into a very specific branch of French folklore, and I hope future readers will pick up on common threads with one popular fairytale in particular. I’m really excited about where this one is headed, but keeping the details close to my chest for now!

Thank you Rose for taking the time to answer our questions! If you love queer fantasy and old folktales, grab yourself a copy of A Sweet Sting of Salt, and be sure to share your queer folktale reading recs with Rose on @rosesutherlandwrites!

[good-beanswrites]

Okay, kyanako said that I can ask for a director's commentary on the fic you wrote for me.

Is there anything you’d like to share about writing this fic? Any thoughts during the writing? Maybe any questions for me?

Not you too 😭😭😭 Haha, but thank you for the option to ask you questions, because I actually do have a few! My normal commentary is in pink, but I put questions in blue :) Some of them are specifics about your characters, but I also just want to hear your takes on writing Es 👀 I don't write them super often, so I'm curious how you characterize them...

Es clutched at their head. Their fingers tore through their hair. It was the middle of the night, so they resisted the urge to shout. They didn’t want to draw any attention to themself. If they remained completely silent, though, they wouldn’t need to refrain from crying.

And so they cried.

I wanted to start off right away by setting the theme of Es experiencing the typical pain of a child in their position, but refusing to be treated like the are.

You see, there is only one sensation worse than waking up from an awful dream: waking up from a very, very, good one. 

I'm kind of relying on readers understanding this feeling already, I didn't really know how to put it into words 😅 (Is this common for people?) It's happened to me several times, and it genuinely can hit harder than a nightmare.

Es had grown accustomed to the nightmares that Milgram produced. In these dreams, Es might take the place of the prisoners. Their stomach would twist with horror at the blood on their hands. Other times, they found themselves in the victim’s shoes. They’d wake in a cold sweat, feeling hands closing around their throat, or weapons swung at their temple. 

I feel like a lot of fics (rightfully) focus on all the messed up things Es experiences on a daily basis, like this. I'm usually more upset by their canon lack of interest in their past and future. Their refusal to miss/hope for anything better is really what hurts me, and it took a while to figure out what may push them to the point of finally acknowledging it. I thought a dream was a good start. When you picture them, are they wondering about their identity a lot? Would certain things be enough to jog their memory, or do only extreme situations get through to them?

But they weren’t prepared for a dream of absolute peace. They were happy. They were laughing. There were people nearby, smiling. It was all emotion and no detail – not a single face, place, or voice, was clear – but they knew for sure what the dream had consisted of.

Es was with their family. 

I debated so long on naming specifics about what they saw, whether it was glimpses of your characters or small lines of dialogue... I still hadn't decided if I wanted the dream to be a real memory or just their imagination, though, so I kept it up to interpretation. (Also, I was so afraid of getting something wrong about who they'd be close to or how they'd react in your mind 😭 "he wouldn't fucking say that" fr). In an early draft of this, Es had fallen asleep while cataloguing the prisoners' family members, and dreamed that they were a part of some of those families. It wasn't as effective as I'd hoped, so I got right to the point and made it their own family here.

So uh, I guess, what would they dream about if it were 100% accurate to their real family? I also thought about making the dream a vision sent from them to communicate a message -- is this something that a family member could/would do? And which relative is Es closest to? I've heard you talk more about their father, but I wasn't sure if that necessarily meant they were the closest. (I wanted to make a more specific parallel with one of the prisoners. I'd pair them with Amane if they were close with their father, Haruka if it was their mother, Mikoto if it was a sibling. Since I wasn't sure, I thought Haruka was a safe bet.)

They choked out another sob. 

For the longest time, they wondered if they even had a past to remember. But that was all foolishness – Milgram was in the business of judging humans, not creating them out of thin air. They’d tried asking Jackalope, once. He turned out just as cryptic as some of the prisoners in their interrogations. Another time, they had considered using the prison’s mysterious machine on themself. There was no way to operate it alone, though. And when it came down to it, they were always alone.

Yeah. So. I made myself upset realizing the isolation Es feels :((( They're at Jackalope's mercy as much as the prisoners are, but they can never truly bond with the others over it. They're different from the prisoners, but they don't even have that much power over them (only responsibility). I thought about including an actual attempt to use the machine without someone watching over them, and what a risk that would be. It ended up taking the story way off-focus, but I wonder what could actually drive them to the point of doing something dangerous in the name of getting memories back, or would they always be accepting of the situation, given their personality?

They curled themself tight, dragging the bedsheets with them. Usually when they wondered about their past, mere curiosity washed over them. Now, they were flooded with an entirely new type of longing. It filled their chest. No, that wasn't it. Rather, the feeling left a wide hole through them.

I'm glad you thought the curling up was cute ;--; I just wanted the reader to remember how young and small they are ;----; I was sad writing this and needed everyone to remember along with me 😭

If they did have a family, had Es been stolen away? Could there be someone else out there right now, crying in the middle of the night, just as hard as Es was crying for them? The thought was not comforting.

Or, like Es, had they forgotten all traces of their connection? That possibility also did more harm than good.

Es tried to reassure themself – if this family hadn’t come looking for them, maybe it meant they weren't wanted in the first place. Maybe Es had been willingly turned over to Milgram, their parents glad to be rid of them.

That thought didn't help at all.

I had a lot of fun evilly choosing the most painful possibilities for Es to consider >:3 (<- SHE'S LYING SHE MADE HERSELF CRY). The uncertainty would hurt any any reader, but as my target, I hoped to pinpoint some exact things you'd mentioned in the past. I was picturing the art of Es' father hunting Milgram down, and some of your comments about them remembering and missing Es.

Something clattered out in the corridor. That must have been what woke them. They rose from bed, ready to raise hell. How dare one of the prisoners rip them from such a dream. Es could never return. The offender would pay for this. 

It took only a moment to put on their uniform and wipe the tears from their cheeks. They swung the door open to find Haruka stumbling down the hall. 

I'm always a sucker for the uniform being a symbol of Es' obsession with their role -- putting it on is the same as them putting up an act, even if they don't quite realize it.

“Prisoner number one, what the –” they grabbed his arm. Only then did they notice the dazed look in his eyes. His body flinched, waking from what must have been sleepwalking.

“Ah! W-warden!” He blinked, his mind still stuck somewhere else. “I’m s-sorry! What, ah… I was dreaming... She was – she was right here…”

After this part I tried ending the drabble with Haruka saying, "I was dreaming," and Es replying bitterly, "me too." Haruka then says, "it was about my family," and much quieter, Es repeats "me too." As much as I loved the exchange, I wanted the gut-wrenching pain of Es rejecting their family rather than missing them at the very end 😎👍

Es took a measured breath. They steeled their expression. There would be no unleashing hell tonight. They had lost sight of their role. They had gotten distracted with childish emotions and silly dreams. They were Milgram’s warden, not some kid like Haruka who wandered around the prison late at night looking for his mama. 

Es adjusted the hat over their hair. It was good, they told themself, that they couldn't remember a thing from the dream. They didn't need any of those people. They were perfectly fine on their own. Such a distraction would not happen again.

I had to mention the uniform hat again because I'm just too obsessed with the symbolism asdfsdfs. And yeah, like you said, all of this was an attempt to convince themself. They don't really believe it, but they have to make themself believe it, or else they'll be in even more pain...

“Let’s get you back to bed.”

“But, my p-parents, they were–”

“They’re not here. Nobody is. Back to your cell, prisoner.”

Of course "they're not here" is reflecting Es and Haruka both missing their parents, but I hoped the last line would also continue the parallels between them -- at the end of the night, Es is a prisoner here too :(

[hispieceofcake]

🎸Headcanons about Adam from Hazbin Hotel - Pt2🤘🏻

This is part two of my headcanons that I had written in an old post, feel free if you want to read it, this is the post.

Well, for a while now I've been looking for Adam's headcanons to get more ideas or inspiration, and well, most of what I find are nsfw and well... I'm asexual, so I decided to start creating a little content about Adam but being headcanons about him and personal stuff about him, so let's start.

• Adam keeps his wings under his arms so they don't bump into things

As we can see, Adam had long and large wings full of golden feathers, I believe that he keeps his wings hidden below his arms so as not to bump into things or people because of their large size, you can clearly see when he opens his wings that they are very large compared to the wings of other angels. Seraphim (like Emilly and Sera) have around six wings, but they are small. Lucifer also has six large wings, but he can hide them by making it look like he doesn't even have wings, but Adam can't do that, so he keeps them below his arms.

• Style of clothing he wears (when not wearing the tunic or at a concert with his band)

Well, as Adam is a rocker (he says so himself) and a guitarist in a band, I think he would wear regular black leather jackets or ones with golden spikes on the shoulders (a little similar to what the members of the band Guns N' Roses sometimes wore), Belts with gold details or very striking spikes, bracelets and fingerless gloves, and high-top black combat boots. I made an example image.

This also leads me to think that he wears combat boots under his tunic daily, as you can't see his feet I imagine he does. Another headcanon I have is that when he performs with the band he wears black shadow under his eyes and on his eyelids (just like in the image I made).

In general, his style itself would be like the 80s rockers like I said before in the first headcanons post.

•Adam has abandonment issues

This is inspiration from a post I saw here on Tumblr, it was just a headcanon but it made me think a lot. The context is that Adam has abandonment issues (I do too🥲) because of his past "relationships" like Lilith and Eve who betrayed and abandoned him for Lucifer. He would have this abandonment problem but as we know him he would hide it with his big ego for fear of being abandoned again.

• Rock songs he'd probably like

It's been a few days since I started listening to rock again and a band that caught my attention and made me think of Adam was Slipknot, not all the songs but there are some that I think Adam would like "Snuff" and "Dead Memories". I chose these two songs because I think Adam could identify with them, for example "Snuff" with the lines:

"bury all your secrets in my skin

Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins

The air around me still feels like a cage

And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again"

"So, break yourself against my stones

And spit your pity in my soul

You never needed any help

You sold me out to save yourself

And I won't listen to your shame

You ran away, you're all the same

Angels lie to keep control

If you still care, don't ever let me know

If you still care, don't ever let me know"

With these two parts of the song, I think Adam would relate because of the betrayals of his two previous wives with Lucifer.

Please listen to the songs and tell me what you think, I honestly thought of him when reading the lyrics of these songs.

• Adam is ambidextrous

I read about it on Hazbin Hotel's Wikipedia and then I thought "well, that makes sense, I'll write about it 🤔". In this headcanon Adam would be ambidextrous, as in several scenes in the series he shows him strumming the guitar with both hands, eventually switching them and playing completely well with either of them.

• Adam likes to draw

I found this one quite funny and a little cute when I noticed it, in some parts of the series they show Adam drawing, for example on that parchment he shows Charlie in the song Hell is Forever, and another is on that list from the trial episode where Adam writes a list of what was needed to enter heaven and below the things listed there are some drawings of him. (It reminded me of when I draw in the corner of exams 🤓☝🏻).

Well guys, that's it for now, I've been really busy trying to make the Beetlejuice Masterlist and full-time school is killing me, thanks for reading, kisses from the bottom of my heart. 💗🎸

[pareidolla]

also I know I just sent an ask, and I forgot to slap this in that ask but uh.

you made me ship broken x cage.

like I did appreciate their dynamic earlier, but then you kinda just cemented it and suddenly I'm all over the ship now lolol. they're cute. they are so cute. just two wronged, traumatized people caught in the throes of depression and the futility of existence, yet managing to connect with each other despite it all, or perhaps because of it. I love them. they need therapy. they can hold hands on the way there as he cradles her severed head in his other arm. I don't even know anymore they are just so cute

also I'm gonna send everything I wanna say to you in the same ask so I'm sorry if this comes out a bit long lol. annoying kouhai nev strikes again /lh

the thing about not really self shipping despite the straight up simping. finally, someone gets it. (which is probably a little funny since I might be one of the many reasons behind that disclaimer. oops.)

do I love the thorn? yes. do I call her my wife on a daily basis? also yes. do I wish she was real? of course. would she even so much as spare me a second glance if she was real? probably not. and if she did look at me, it would most likely be because Someone is Being A Weirdo and she's appropriately being a little freaked out.

better for her that I don't exist in her life; she has enough to deal with already. just because I wanna kiss her, doesn't mean I wholeheartedly believe that I should be kissing her. there's a difference. I acknowledge her existence very much but she really doesn't need to acknowledge mine. It's a little embarrassing.

so seeing your post about Broken was actually kind of nice. someone else put it into words for once.

(that ain't gonna stop me from projecting either, though. why do I see the Voice of the Cheated as a small dramatic loud loser gamer boy with scars who swears a lot? because I am a small dramatic loud loser gamer boy with scars who also swears a lot. and he gets to be with thorn. so I live vicariously through it when I, say, make him trace along the edges of her pointed ears and clasp her scarred hands in his own.)

p.s. your art is fucking amazing and there is just something crunchy about your art style that I cannot quite place

p.p.s. I fucking thank this account for existing. everyone else has birdboy designs and it makes me feel like I am doing something wrong in this fandom sometimes. so at least there's another one here too even if you do it objectively better lmao

nevvey dearie hello again!! i apologize, but i'm holding your second ask in inbox jail for the time being. i want to draw something for it, but i'm not sure when i'll get to it (*gestures to the reqs, questions, bingos, ask game pile*)

i'm so glad to have someone else who ships cage/broken!! they're so darling i love them with my whole heart. i mentioned it already but i'd love to write something for them someday - i think their personalities could mesh quite well together and they'd have a sweet, mellow romance. prettiest couple in the construct fr

(actually i'm still debating on who's canonically the prettiest in my canon but shhhhh)

super happy there's someone else in the same boat as me haha. oh but please don't blame yourself for the disclaimer, it wasn't one person who prompted me into making it but several dozen small interactions i've had over the half-year. nobody can read minds, and it's normal to assume that if i express my desire to marry broken all the time then i'll be just as thrilled to hear broken reciprocates those feelings. like no one should feel guilty over it - i'm not mad nor do i hold any negative feelings to anyone lmao

the main reason for the post, arguably, wasn't even on this site; rather, it's because i've seen yume spaces where people can be so devoted to their yume that they block doubles or experience such strong feelings of envy/ discomfort that they feel nauseous. i respect and sympathize with them, but i don't relate to it, and i don't want anyone to think that only i'm allowed to like broken. like no i want you to like my boyfriend. the ao3 well is drying up please someone kiss that sad bird on the mouth!

and aww thank you dearie!! again i'm very flattered you love my artwork especially since you're so skilled yourself ♡♡ means a lot. and doubly-so on having someone else making shoujo anime designs makes me feel more confident in mine haha

AND MINE AREN'T OBJECTIVELY BETTER ❗️❗️❗️I HAVEN'T EVEN SHOWN MOST OF MY UPDATED BOYS YET ❗️❗️❗️ YOURS ARE SO DELIGHTFUL ALREADY ❗️❗️❗️ DO NOT SELL YOURSELF SHORT

[kayas-kosmos]

Ko-Fi Challenge - 2024, the Year of Solarpunk!

[This post is intended for the Ko-Fi January 2024 challenge. However, I receive an error message every time I try to post this blog on Ko-Fi so I am uploading it here instead. I therefore don't know if I will quality for the challenge since I cannot get my posts to work, but it's worth a shot].

Hello everyone, I hope you are all having a great start to the year!

I have decided to dip my toes into the Ko-Fi January challenge and let everyone know about my plans for this year. Really, I only have one plan – Do something small every day to make the world a better place. But I plan to go about doing this in a big way.

The last several years have been extremely troubling with a lot of catastrophic Global crises happening on a daily basis. It's all around us and it feels inescapable. People are tired of the constant flood of bad news, they're tired of doomscrolling and they're tired of the deluge of films that portray some different flavour of the apocalypse. Even us artists can't escape into our art for comfort anymore because of the constant spectre of AI technology threatening to make our work obsolete. The future looks very grim and a lot of people are not looking forward to the year ahead.

That's where "Solarpunk" comes in.

Solarpunk offers an alternative to all of the doom and gloom and presents the idea of a bright future in the face of cataclysm. It is a movement both political and artistic designed to reignite our souls and excite imaginations with ideas rooted in science and observation of the world around us. Even if it is utopian, it's a utopia grounded in what is realistically achievable and the current tools we have at our disposal to succeed.

Here is a short video that gives a great summary of what Solarpunk is all about.

Now you know what Solarpunk is, here is where my art comes into all of this and what I am planning for the year ahead.

Flowerpunk.

The first and most important project I want to launch this year is Flowerpunk.

Flowerpunk is my webcomic that I have been developing since 2020. Taking place in a universe where magic has been reduced to nothing more than a commodity, the magic itself is starting to decay, causing the soul of the world itself to become sick. It is up to a group of punks and outcasts to take back the magic and heal the world of this rot.

For those who haven't seen it yet, I put up a trailer for the webcomic on Webtoon, Tapas and GlobalComix. Please check it out!

These first 9 chapters follow two main characters, Kimi and Ludwig. Kimi is a gentle soul who has a thing for pastel colours and Ludwig is a rebel with a burning spirit and big hopes.

They both have a pretty terrible taste in music as well!

A lot of work has already gone into this project. I have most of the world-building done, there's a whole myriad of magical creatures featuring in this universe and the first part of chapter 1 is only 11 panels away from completion.

Furthermore, Flowerpunk is an IP under a CC BY-NC licence, meaning that you can legally use my characters and creature designs for anything that is not monetised provided that credit is given.

"This license allows reusers to distribute, remix, adapt, and build upon the material in any medium or format for noncommercial purposes only, and only so long as attribution is given to the creator. Credit must be given to the creator. Only noncommercial uses of the work are permitted."

To give some examples of what you can do:

~ Make derivative versions of my work (writing, art, AUs, etc...).

~ Make OCs from my species, or use them for your own stories removed from the original universe as long as the work remains non-commercial.

~ Use my creatures or character likeness for RP characters or in DnD/tabletop campaigns.

~ Using my work for any educational purposes (such as copying a drawing for an art study).

I want this project not just to tell a story of radical hope, but to also encourage the creativity of others and their own storytelling projects based in this universe.

But that's not all! Once Flowerpunk launches, this will lead me onto the next part of my plan which is...

Merch.

I would love to launch some new merch to help support Flowerpunk's development, including stickers, pins and most importantly, motivational posters. This image below is the kind of thing I am aiming for:

These posters will also be used on social media to help inspire people to take action and fight for a better world. And speaking of social media...

Social Media, TikTok and Twitch.

I plan to start Twitch streaming my process later in the year and I may even consider inviting guests to do chats and interviews with. This is inspired by the time I appeared on a LumiRue Twitch stream back in March of 2022 and the extremely productive conversation we had about art and activism. I also have shorter videos planned for my TikTok discussing a variety of topics, including Solarpunk (obviously), my webcomic universe, autism and disability and much more!

Recently, I created a Solarpunk feed for Bluesky and I plan to continue contributing more positive news and ideas to this feed. The feed consists of art, videos, book recommendation, games, real-world projects (such as re-wilding projects) and much, much more! The feed has seen a great success so far and I want to continue using it to spread positivity. I may even start inviting people to add their own contributions to the feed!

In Conclusion.

Despite the challenges we face this year, I feel like it's going to be a good one moving forward. There is a lot to look forward to and a lot of cool stuff on the way!

Also, I wanted to take a moment to thank all of the people who have supported me here on Ko-Fi over the years, it really means a lot to me and has helped so much. Even small donations make a huge difference, especially in times like these when things have become so precarious for artists.

Hope you're all excited!

[bnuunydoll]

I Draw A Lot More Than I Write

In fact, it's been around 8 months or so since I began my so-called "art grind" and began practicing frequently. That ... didn't exactly stop me from feeling like I should be a lot "better" than I am now, so I wanted to make a post that can explore how far I've come!!

It All Started Here...

I've been calling this lil dood Dotter, and he was supposed to be my own fakemon to go with some romhack ideas. At the time I had dabbled with art a bit before, but I always found it discouraging. Every piece would take more days and executive function spoons than I could typically carry at once. I spent most of my time constantly redoing the same lines in a desperate attempt to make everything look "clean" aaand overall the process was miserable ಠ⁠﹏⁠ಠ

However!!

My gay ass has a sapphic appreciation of women that I desperately wanted to express. And since I had... dabbled in art before, it felt like a potential avenue to that I could take my other wise meandering life in. 乁⁠|⁠ ⁠･⁠ ⁠〰⁠ ⁠･⁠ ⁠|⁠ㄏ

So I Started Studying. Watching tutorials, doing daily practices, taking notes, drawing whenever I had time, and miraculously I've actually kept up with it for 8 months or so now. ⋋⁠✿⁠ ⁠⁰⁠ ⁠o⁠ ⁠⁰⁠ ⁠✿⁠⋌

So Here's Dotter Again!

I wanted to revisit him mooostly because I've been feeling so down on myself about my progress recently, but seeing them side by side really helps me see how much I've improved in various ways (⁠づ⁠｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡⁠)⁠づ

Such as...

Time!

Previously any artwork I made would take several weeks, since I'd have to find the spoons to draw, and then actually draw... which was hard and time consuming due to my perfectionism and inexperience. The most recent art of Dotter took like, a few days? Which is a huge improvement.

Like, Conceptualizing Stuff!!

For a long time (and still now tbh) I struggled to draw anything that wasn't just mimicking a screenshot or something. A lot of my first attempts at art was just trying to draw something and change minor details. While I still do that for practice and warm-ups now, I'm a lot more comfortable with taking a variety of different references and combining them for something new.

The Actual Drawing Thing!!!

Like I brought up before, a lot of time was spent constantly going Ctrl+Z

Ctrl+Z

Ctrl+Z

etc....

desperately trying to find lines that didn't look awful. Now I feel a lot more comfortable not only with getting lines I enjoy, but also feeling more confident in my work and not needing it to be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. Additionally I've learned to make my lineart look nicer in general with stuff like differing line weights, colors, and other small details!

If nothing else, I am proud of how far I've come mentally with my own art.

Rendering, and Also Light And Shadows!!!!

Before I really struggled to understand how coloring and adding shadows to stuff worked, it was a big reason I was scared to draw anything that I could reference 1:1. But after studying volumes and consulting a lot of tutorials and honestly just like.... looking at stuff irl, I have a much better grasp and can try rendering things based on how I thiiiiink it should work. Which is... a huge improvement over not having a single clue about any of it.

And Finally, the Mindset!!!!!

I struggled a lot with actually getting to a point where I thought it was worth putting in the effort to draw at all. I would work an awful job just to go back to my shitty apartment, try to make something, then get discouraged bc it didn't look like any of the beautiful pieces I saw on Twitter (Presently X) .com. And it's hard, really hard, to feel like there's a point in trying when so many people are just better.

AIronically though, the thing that made me really get into it was the rise of AI art and I guess the like, devaluation of the human spirit or something? Like... I think there's something really magical about just doing your best and showing the world what that is.

The Character Art from Guilty Gear X comes to mind a lot and it's something I treasure. It looks good, but it also doesn't look nearly as refined as later entries and I adore that! The CS has charm and spirit if not polish

AI art produces art that looks very generically "nice," but it's also really lame. I spend A LOT of time watching "bad" movies and "mid" video games and there's something human about those sorts of works that AI art can't ever really copy. Things like an artist struggling to draw ankles despite the rest of their work looking fine, orr a film that just can't manage to get a single steady shot. It's all uniquely charming, and those little quirks made me feel a newfound respect for the struggle and quirkiness of my new art starting out.

Another extension of that human element is that I had to recognize that my skill or ability to draw or do anything doesn't correlate to my worth as a person. It's really hard to to believe after a decade of YouTube slop complaining about "bad" video games and art, but it's true!!! Having a healthy social life and people that care and love me probably means a lot more than whether or not I can draw good.

It's definitely a struggle still not to get discouraged, but I always try to remind myself that a lot of people have been making art since they were children. If I can improve so much in 8 months, I think that's reason to be excited to see how much further I can improve! (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

[anneapocalypse]

I want to add to this that my issue isn't really that I need an explanation for Y'shtola being able to read print books or interpret murals, or that the explanations given in canon aren't good enough. The thing about disability in a fantasy setting is that because you have magic and/or fictional technology and because you are the writer, you can make up literally anything you want. You can say that ink is infused with aether. You can say that anything containing even a hint of organic material contains enough aether for Y'shtola to recognize patterns and functionally "see." You can say, "Well in this world technology is sufficiently advanced that upper limb prosthetics are perfectly lightweight and easy to use with flawless haptic feedback in the robot fingers and so this cool robot arm is exactly as functional as a regular working arm, and also this character never experiences phantom limb pain or nerve pain and using the prosthesis regularly carries no risks or pain or discomfort, because I said so." You can say that. Who can say you're wrong?

But then I ask: is your character actually disabled in this fictional society?

If their perfect fantasy adaptation functions to seamlessly make them abled again with no meaningful changes to how they navigate day-to-day life, then are they any more disabled than, say, a person who wears contact lenses to see? In a world where visual aids didn't exist, my vision is absolutely bad enough to be a disability. My life would drastically change if I suddenly lost access to those aids. In fact my life would even change significantly if I lost access to contact lenses, because anything sitting on the bridge of my nose for more than an hour or so triggers headaches, something that was happening for over a decade before I was diagnosed with chronic migraine. But with contact lenses, I just put them in in the morning and take them out at night, and I effectively do not suffer the effects of my poor vision. I function in daily life like a person with normal vision.

And like, it's perfectly fine to write a character who uses the fantasy equivalent of contact lenses. But in any society, there are going to be people who have disabilities within the context of that society which affect their day-to-day life. In the notes several people have brought up Thancred and his inability to manipulate aether. In the context of his life and a world where aether is used to explain... basically everything, and where most people in his line of work need to manipulate it to some degree, that's an actual disability. Thancred needs adaptations for it. He usually has a companion with him who aids him in imbuing the ammunition for his gunblade, and that's great. We get to see how his disability affects his life, and the accommodations that he uses. (Edited to add: I should probably clarify that I'm not claiming Thancred is perfect disability representation or that the writing never glosses over his disability--only that his needing aid in this context is an example I like.)

How cool would it be to see Y'shtola using a cane, or accompanied by a guide familiar? What if the Noumenon has the in-universe equivalent of a Braille collection (because surely Y'shtola is not the only person in Sharlayan who is blind)? What if there are accessibility mammets who function as text-to-speech programs? Or what if, in keeping with a lot of Y'shtola's characterization, some or all of these accommodations exist but she's still refusing to use them because she doesn't like drawing attention to her disability, and manipulating aether to the extent she does has consequences we get to see (instead of just hinting at those consequences and then never mentioning them again)? Sure, ink contains aether, but detecting it to the extent that small print text is actually legible is hard, and gives Y'shtola a migraine and she needs to go recover before the next phase of the quest can happen, at which point Krile gently pushes her to please use the accessibility mammet so she isn't hurting herself. Maybe Y'shtola begins to make use of a guide familiar, but one can only comfortably maintain so many familiars at once, so when she sends two into the Void for experimental purposes, she is without their assistance while they're gone. And maybe her request of Urianger in Shadowbringers isn't just a one-off thing, and she gradually becomes more comfortable asking her friends for visual assistance.

And I know animation is a resource-heavy change in a game, but it would be cool if we saw some kind of meaningful change where she doesn't turn and look people directly in the eye whenever they speak anymore.

Any fictional world needs to have some limitations on magic and/or technology in order for a story to have tension and conflict, and disability accommodations aren't all that different. You don't have to change a story drastically to give them some meaningful impact on the character's life, and it's more satisfying to see, I think. I think it's reasonable that blindness would still be a meaningful disability in this universe, and I think it would be neat if we got to see more of that.

I really just wish they would consistently allow Y'shtola to actually be blind. I loved the moment in Shadowbringers where she asked Urianger to describe the night sky to her. I loved her mistaking the Warrior of Light for a Lightwarden because she can't actually see their physical appearance, just the quality of their aether. But by default the writing assumes that her ability to see aether completely cancels out her loss of vision. She goes to the library and she can just... read print books. You could come up with really interesting and creative technological and magical accommodations for her disability, like mammets or familiars that read text to you! but instead she's just written 98% of the time like she isn't disabled and it's frustrating.

[biscuits-of-bagend]

DnDoc, The Mushroom Planet #6 - A Part of Me

Part 1 Part 5

Previous stories: DnDoc, Coming Home DnDoc, Space Band DnDoc,A Man's a Man DnDoc, The God of Rock 'n' Roll DnDoc, The Loch o' the Lowes

I have written quite a lot about Art here but on reflection very little of it is actually from the book, so what I've essentially done is write Doctor Who: Rogue fanfiction xD

---

Ruby and Rogue were fully sitting on the ground now. It seemed to be quite magically self-cleaning anyway; the most litter you saw was stray confetti. Rogue's breathing came in gasps as he tried to catch up with the breath he was missing. He picked up a piece of old confetti from his left hand side and moved it across to his right, then did the same again, and again, over and over until the movement became a steady rhythm. His brow was drawn tight and with ever third gulp or so a few more tears were squeezed out of his eyes. The whole time his mouth made the small shapes of a quiet conversation and his eyes were fixed on a point in the air in front of him, like he was on a tight-rope, concentrating furiously on his balance.

   After a while, he said something out loud that Ruby didn't catch. She was loathe to ask him to repeat it when he clearly was in no mood for talking, but he stopped his confetti conveying and gestured for her to turn her ear towards him.

   "I said 'okay'," said Rogue. "Okay soon."

   "Okay," said Ruby, "no rush." That got the slightest movement of the shoulders from him, a silent chuckle. True, this whole city was in a rush.

   Ruby was really impressed by Rogue, and how open he was being right now. Back in her home - and probably Rogue's, Ruby would have guessed if asked - people bottled up their feelings a lot, and sometimes it just resulted in them exploding out and hurting people. She supposed technically he was hiding this one particular issue from his boyfriend, but Ruby understood his reasoning, and at least he was talking to her.

   She hadn't spent that much time with him on the night they all met, but the Doctor said it had taken a while to tease the emotion out of him, because he'd been holding so much pain for such a long time. It seemed two years on an exhausting quest to come home - plus several months in a relationship with the sparkling gem of energy that was the Doctor - had significantly opened him up. Plus he'd learnt his lesson at the Loch o' the Lowes.

   Gradually the stiffness in Rogue's posture eased, and he was able to catch his breath. He finally closed his eyes. His eyelids were screwed up at first, but then relaxed so that it looked as though he might fall asleep against the wall.

   "Did I ever tell you how me and Art bought that ship?" he asked Ruby eventually. "I think I told the Doctor but I can't remember when."

   "I don't think so," said Ruby.

   Rogue smiled, clearly eager to talk about Art. "We'd just finished this huge job, months in the making, and we decided not to split our bounty but instead to put the whole pot towards getting our own ship. Or yeah, basically our own house. Neither of us had ever lived with a romantic partner before, but it was wonderful. The daily magic of it… well, anyone who travels with the Doctor knows something about daily magic…"

   Rogue tailed off, and Ruby wasn't sure what to say. She wasn't sure if she should say anything at all. She wasn't a therapist, so surely she could say the wrong thing if she wasn’t careful. Maybe she should call the Doctor after all. She took out her own phone, but didn't send any message. But then a moment later, a message came in from the Doctor, asking where they were.

   "Oh Gods, you're going to think I'm so mad," said Rogue, drawing Ruby's attention back to him. "But Art just told me it's okay by him if I sell the ship."

   Ruby opened her mouth, but no words came out.

   "You can see why I thought the loch monster back in Scotland might just have been in my head," said Rogue. "See, I've always had this imagination that's beyond vivid. And I knew Art so well. I can sort of… I can have what I think is a really accurate conversation with him, and a lot of the time I don't know what 'he' is going to say until he says it.

   "And if there's one thing I know about Art, it's that he wouldn't want me to pile up more stress for myself by making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be."

   "Well, that sounds fair enough," said Ruby. She liked the sound of Art. "Maybe there's something on the ship you could keep as a memento, like your sound system?"

   Rogue smiled, presumably memories of his sound system and its various exploits passing through his mind.

   He shook his head. "I don't need anything. It's like we told Jordan. Art is in here." Rogue rapped his knuckles against his chest. "He's there hanging out on the TARDIS whenever I set foot in there. Not like, in a weird way. I just mean his spirit is floating around in the transcendental dimensions."

   "No I get you, that's lovely. I'll think of him sometimes, give him a wave. So… then we're back to whether you’d be dependent on the Doctor, right? If Art isn't the issue I mean," said Ruby. She swallowed shakily, trying to stay on track, but his words were piercing her heart - just a little here and there, but definite pinpricks.

   Rogue nodded. "Gods, our dynamic is so good, you know? I never imagined getting to feel this way again. What if something changes? What if it breaks the spell?"

   "Woah, hey, that's a lot of what-ifs for someone just getting out of a panic attack," said Ruby. "Be careful."

   "True, true," said Rogue.

   "I know what you mean though," said Ruby. "You know when we fell off the course in the karts and Lakitu would come and catch us and then we'd know that if he let go we'd just fall?"

   Rogue's eyes were still fixed on the point ahead, but his mouth hinted at another smile. "I never actually fell off."

   Ruby rolled her eyes. "Well, congratulations."

   Rogue laughed, and wiped some tears off his cheeks. "It is that though, that's what I'm scared of. We could never be what we are to each other if he was the only one keeping me from falling into the abyss. I put my life in Art's hands plenty of times, and I know we both trust the Doctor implicitly. But for that to be the default state, for me to be in a constant state of falling off a mushroom with only him holding me up… it's not sustainable. I'm not even sure it was fair on Art for me to put him in that position so constantly."

   "Well, then, it sounds like you want your ship back," said Ruby. "It sounds like you've made a decision."

   "It does sound like that, doesn't it?" said Rogue, finally turning to face her. His dazed expression cracked and he laughed. "Jeez, I forgot you're not much more than a kid."

   "I'm wise beyond my years," said Ruby, standing up and dragging him to his feet along with her.

   "You sure are, Ruby Sunday, you sure are," said Rogue. "Right, shall we run?"

---

Part 7

@off-traveling-in-the-stars @casavanse @monster-donut @randomwholocker (let me know at any point if you no longer wish to be tagged in each post)

[purpletyrant]

how long did it take you to plan out kittyquest and the earth c lore? it's a really well thought out great adventure and as an aspiring fanventure creator i am curious about how long it took to get everything figured out

you might be disappointed to learn that i rushed into KQ with nary an outline to be found

i had no intention of fleshing it out into comic form and was content with faux-panels until i decide to "unless...?" myself, as i always do time and time again. from there i decided to base it purely off of suggestions (lol) and, at the threat of there being no centralized plot, thought back on the cult of the witch, which i had introduced as a gag in the pilot light, pale rapture trilogy. from there i started to build up where the plot was going to go, and several months into the adventure i formally sat down and wrote a few pages outlining roughly where the rest of the comic was headed, later splitting into sections so i would always know what i would be addressing in a given update. i could hardly fathom going back to the days of NOT knowing what i was about to be sitting down to write/draw

this is not the first time ive mentioned this, but i accidentally emulated hussie in that ramona wasnt planned from the start, and i was actually kind of scared to introduce her. i simply repurposed an adult earth c fantroll id drawn a single time and decided, you know what, this might shake things up a bit. and im glad i did that. ive strayed from the outline a few times, adding things along the way. my great, GREAT, *GREAT* hope is that it does not all fall flat in the end. a lot of people still expect KQ to be a sburb adventure, which it is very explicitly tagged as not being. KQ at its heart is something self-contained (this might age poorly) and content to tell a small-scale, relatively low stakes story, and ive never pretended that its going to be some grand epic adventure like others out there. knowing the scope of your story is important because it helps maintain a consistent mood and generally keeps you grounded. i think its okay if you dont have an end in mind, but i would recommend thinking about how youre going to get there so that things dont feel rushed, like what happened with homestuck... which i think is an example of someone spending so much time thinking about the ending that it kind of ends up being coughed up in your lap

as for earth c lore, the text portion of the field guide took maybe a couple weeks to write, though i did add and edit some text pretty recently before its release. worldbuilding is singlehandedly the most rewarding and fun part of working on KQ, i love thinking about how mundane daily life works there which really lends itself to being able to freely write pages upon pages of expository text without too much writers block. i could talk about it for hours. if you have already found an idea that youre super excited about, just write and draw as much stuff for it as you can stand to. hell, just notebook doodles and jotting stuff down in the notes app will do. it will help you have something to go off of when you actually get cracking on writing your outlines

generally i dont think theres a wrong or right way to go about making an mspfa style adventure, i know a lot of the big ones have multiple writers and artists, but im just one random guy doing this shit in my office when i get home from work. think about how much time, both short- and long-term that youre willing to commit. is it just a fun thing you want to do when you have free time? thats great! are you committed to a long form story that might take you multiple years to complete? maybe write an outline or several, ask a friend if they can beta read or help you out a little. i didnt have a plan when i started, and i still sort of feel nagged by that as KQ begins to enter its twilight years, er, twilight updates. but one mans lack of planning is another mans freedom to write whatever the hell they want

i hope this was even halfway helpful, a lot of this was probably just rambling. good luck with your stories! :)

[karanoid]

about top joe discord

LET ME ADDRESS A FEW POINTS:

There has been many fear and anxiety regardless the top!joe discord I made. I understand how it gives my discord a bad reputation. Somebody has kindly reached out to me to ask me addressing several points, which I’m now gonna clarify:

1. I am racist, I asked why, and they said mostly because of my dismissive behavior to people who called me out for drawing yusuf adorned in gold jewelry which made their friends feel unsafe. So, I am a muslim and was raised in a muslim household and community. I am fucking brown.

I didn’t say it because you don’t need to know that about me. What bothers me is how some people feel the need to come to my inbox informing me “maam yusuf is a religious muslim who prays 5 times a day and do all the supplementary prayers all while he drinks alcohol and fuck nicky in the dailies, he wouldnt be wearing gold maam no maam.” as if I didn’t know any better. so please, now don’t do that. If you care so much about the littlest details like wearing gold then you’ll also call out yusuf because he draws living beings and drinks champagne. yes it’s true muslim men are forbidden from wearing gold AND silk but let’s not forget, nothing in the comic and movies imply yusuf has ever been religious. It’s easier to see nicolo as religious because he was a fucking priest. Yusuf was a fucking merchant, it’s easy to see that he’d be less faithful because he would have been travelling and seen many kind of people to broaden his horizons and not contained to a little bubble of hyper religious community. However, let me remind you: whether yusuf AND nicolo are religious or not is entirely UP TO THE AUTHOR/ARTIST. It’s totally fine to make him religious and if you can respect it THATS GREAT, I ALSO LIKE HIM THAT WAY, but please remember it’s not even canon and hey sometimes I just draw things because I like the aesthetics. Also please, do not harass writers for getting a thing or two incorrect, even white people cannot get christianity correct, even between two muslims could be a disagreement whether this fic’s yusuf is problematic or not. I wouldn’t even expect anything more and THAT’S OKAY. Just don’t be an ass to muslims of color in real life and don’t fall into the believe that it’s a religion of violence. you can say that greg made him that way bc he knew nothing better but hey, I have no problem with that. again, it’s fine to make him religious, I’d be delighted but it’s ALSO fine to make him not religious.

2. I think that people only write Top!Nicky out of political correctness. OKAY. I apologize for this. I thought like this because I have accounts telling me that they were pressured into writing top!nicky or they wanted more readerships so I make a BIG assumption. I realized this is only a small part of switch and top!nicky fics and the big bulk of this must be out of genuine care. So yeah, I apologize for thinking that people only write top!nicky out of political correctness. I think writers should be allowed to write whatever they want. Yes this includes top!Nicky. And in whatever kinks they want it. However, this still doesn’t change that the discourses do scare people away from writing top!joe. Write top!nicky however you want, but stop vague-blogging about top!joe. racism isn’t inherent to top!joe and you can always remind people to be mindful with their writings but discouraging people from writing top!joe is not the solution. 

3. Top!joe is racist and people in the discord are racist. Okay, I am gonna touch several aspects why top!joe discord is considered racist: (1) because I don’t like to switch them, therefore I am racist. Sorry that’s not how it works. I have a clear preference and that’s just how I roll. Besides, a lot of people in the discord (including me) think either they switch (because they are 900 yo) or joe just doesn’t like bottoming. I’m not the kind of people who refers to reality for fiction I consume but people who prefer to top or to bottom exist (2) i want to be away from accountability and responsibility. Nope. The reason I made it is because I wanted to gather people with same interest as mine. 

4. I paint Yusuf as aggressive and the whole discord like him being an aggressive top. I think this is the only reason why the discord is seen in a negative light. Because wow what a coincidence that someone vagueblogged my discord at the day I celebrated about Nicky suggesting 20 years and wrote a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry. And beside someone made the WRONG assumption that we are focusing on Joe’s anger and violence (what). Okay, I don’t know how to break this down. But I will try. First, yes I was overjoyed at the news. Because I’m one of the people that do not like feral!nicky headcanon. I liked it at first bc it was funny but then it was twisted into Nicky being cold. So I don’t like it (lol), I still like it though but like I don’t seriously think that way. However, I never liked the idea that Nicky suggested higher than Joe. Because then his character just doesn’t click with me, there was a cognitive dissonance for me because joe clearly says nicky’s heart overflows kindness, you can see nicky as a medic in the credit montage. Also, from their body language and from the way the movie set em up, I think Joe is the one who suggested higher and I am glad to be proven right. Second, I did write a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry at Booker. People agreed with me, so I was not alone. But the reason I wrote that post is not because I wanted to paint yusuf as aggressive, but because I’m tired at people who think Joe shouldn’t display any negative emotions. I think it’s out of character. I do NOT think Joe is aggressive. That is NOT his wholeass personality. If you looked at my tog art tag, never once I portrayed Joe as anything aggressive. If I do, please show me. Third, people are conflating this with my post where I reblogged with a comment that implies aggressive Joe isn’t racism. Okay in this, the context is IN BED. It’s Joe being aggressive in BED. It’s literally BED ROLES AND FANTASY. I don’t even have a particular scenario in my head when I reblogged that, the original post clearly refers to bed roles with manhandling and kinks etc. like, why would you spank someone in public? Lastly, about the discord, NOPE, most people in the discord agree that Joe is either a GENTLE DOM or SERVICE TOP. But in my opinion, if someone likes Joe as an aggressive top (again, bed roles baby) I really don’t think it’s racism. It’s just... projection? 

anyway, back to joe’s emotions, these are posts from a moroccan man (paragraph #7) and a brown woman whose posts I agree with. Let’s be real, people of color are expected to shut up in favor of white people’s fragile feelings.

Now, about racism in fandom. I understand the concern because muslim men are painted as violent and aggressive. You know what I will never forgive those radicals for taking away innocents lives and to leave a lasting damage in how muslims are perceived in the west. However, you have to keep in mind, Joe in the movie is far from being stereotyped. I mean, Gina and Marwan practically greenlit him? Now, you might have concerns that writers are gonna turn him into a walking stereotype which is... okay, I understand that concern. But the solution is to communicate this ‘hey I think you make him too stereotypical in this etc etc’ not “write more top!nicky AND shame top!joe” because again, top!joe is not inherently racist.

also some people mentioned that they hope I recognize racial bias in the ship. dude, that goes without saying, all aspects of your life will be influenced by racial biases. however, this kind of thing is not specific to fandom/shipping. Like I said I’m fucking brown, friends and families with facial features that cater to white expectation are treated better. I did say at the bottom of this post, yeah I did notice why it’s always a brown character who’s always openly mad. And that’s in itself a form of racial bias. Racial biases affect everyone, white or POC, it doesn’t matter. But I got an issue with how people think this is racism. like how convenient, if by falling to racial biases mean you are a racist then what about those white people who created this racial biases in the first place? and I noticed the persons who got the audacity to cry about everything in this fandom is white?? I mean okay, they don’t know what I am, but not everyone is comfortable with sharing their private information like ethnic group, faith, etc. what if they really don’t want to share it? Because like you said, racial bias, whether good or bad will affect me. Now, I don’t know what white people are feeling, I’m not white. However, based on my interactions with them. We’re all just people sharing same interest, it could be they fall into racial biases, but all we shared about are just regular HCs. Even people making a conscious effort to combat racial bias still in essence fall for racial bias. You just cannot escape it.

According to this post, fandom assumes that the bottom is the proxy of writers, I don’t think this is applicable to everyone but let’s just say it’s true and people tend to write about their projection better so I’m gonna assume the racism part comes from the fact that..yeah I do think the bottom usually gets more fleshed out as a result of them being the writers proxy, so somebody posted this in the discord which I agree because yes I do think there’s a lack about yusuf’s background especially when it comes to crusade era:

but since I know most writers aren’t muslims, to me it’s not so much about racism but they simply know nothing about it, and not always out of ignorance either but in this climate, if you get a thing or two wrong you’d get harassed. so *shrugs* I understand the reluctancy. But here’s the thing, this is not about top/bottom issue but because most of the fandom are white so they have more freedom in writing the white character. Anyway, plenty of people have projected themselves into yusuf already, the whole “top/bottom” thing in this fandom is not even a thing. Yes, some writers project on the bottom so if you prefer bottom!joe that’s fine, somebody in the discord is doing a research and it turned out top!joe wasn’t even a CLEAR majority in JULY. So clearly they got their share already?

so please, let’s stop with the vitriol. if people are preferring top!joe it’s clearly because of different preferences. it’s not that deep. it’s the same way with how some people are preferring top!nicky. But we’re being driven out based on a hypothetical scenarios? like what do you want? for us to cease existing??? don’t be ridiculous.

I know people won’t listen to me. So this is my suggestion: LETS JUST IGNORE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE. LET’S ALL JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE. 

[lets-steal-an-archive]

'Golden Girls' Polishes Its Scripts: Daily Revisions Geared to Sharpen Story and Hone Those Laugh Lines

TRUE OR FALSE:

Actresses Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Rue McClanahan and Betty White write their own dialogue for "The Golden Girls." (FALSE)

Older female writers write all 25 episodes each season because no one else could understand the problems of older females. (FALSE)

In order to keep the shows consistent from week to week, one writer prepares all the episodes. (FALSE)

Ten staff writers work together to prepare a season's worth of scripts. (TRUE)

It's a Monday morning in early October and on a sound stage at the small Renmar Studios in Hollywood, the "golden girls" have gathered to read a new script. This will be episode No. 60 of the series and it will air about three weeks later — on Halloween.

Everyone in the room has heard about this week's story line: Rose writes a letter to Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev. But apart from the writers, no one has seen the final script until now. It was completed on a Saturday, photocopied 150 times on Sunday and distributed this morning to NBC; co-producer Touchstone Pictures; the show's creator, Susan Harris; the show's lawyers and researchers, and the "Golden Girls" cast and crew.

"Hopefully, they'll laugh," murmurs head writer Kathy Speer as she prepares to hear the "table reading." "If they don't, we'll be here fixing the script for a long time."

The table reading really is at tables — eight of them arranged in a rectangle. The actresses and guest actors sit on one side, facing the writers. To the actresses' left are director Terry Hughes, executive producers Paul Junger Witt and Tony Thomas and co-executive producers/head writers Speer and Terry Grossman. To the actresses' right sit NBC representatives, the show's casting director and props and wardrobe personnel.

They begin. Director Hughes reads the stage directions: Interior, kitchen — day. Sophia is seated at table. She is reading book entitled 'Magic Made Easy.' Dorothy enters.

Bea Arthur, as Dorothy, reads: "Hi, Ma."

Estelle Getty, as Sophia, reads: "Give me your watch."

Another week is under way. As the actresses go through their lines, everyone else listens intently. They laugh (or don't laugh) and take notes. By the Friday-night tapings, this script will need to play at 22 minutes. But Friday is a long way off.

As soon as the table reading ends, the writers, producers, director and an NBC program executive huddle to discuss script changes. Then, while the actresses begin rehearsals using the first draft, the writers rush off to their yellow stucco two-story building nearby to begin rewriting.

"The secret of TV half-hour comedy shows is the revisions," explains Dean Valentine, NBC director of current comedy and also the program executive on "Golden Girls." "What they start out with is 75% away from what they end up with."

"I don't think this episode is going to need much work," co-head writer Terry Grossman announces cheerfully on his way back to his office. "It got a good response at the table. We just have to cut it, smooth out transitions and clarify some story points. New jokes will be the tough thing." He anticipates a few hours' work.

"Early in the first season we were throwing out whole scenes," he recalls. "Now we know what works for each lady and what she does best. That's the advantage of being in the third year of the show. The disadvantage is that stories are harder to come by."

Grossman heads into the office he shares with his wife Speer, who is also his writing partner. They are in charge of the writing staff. "That means we are the two who get yelled at the most when something goes wrong," he jokes.

Also piling into the conference-sized room are supervising producers Barry Fanaro and Mort Nathan and producer Winifred Hervey. Despite their titles, Grossman explains, "We're all writers."

"We are the five most dull people," Nathan insists.

"We're much funnier on paper," Hervey adds.

These five, all in their 30s, met when they worked on "Benson," an earlier Witt-Thomas-Harris series. They have been with "Golden Girls" since the beginning, and every Monday they jointly rewrite the script being taped that week. They jokingly call themselves The Gang of Five.

While they start rewriting, the show's other five staff writers — Chris Lloyd, Jeff Ferro, Frederic Weiss, Robert Bruce and Martin Weiss — go back to their own offices to work on new scripts.

"To keep quality, you like as many writers as you can afford," Speer explains. "This year, we have six 'entities' (writing teams) — four sets of partners and two individuals. And we also use a few free-lance scripts each season."

Approximately 25% of the show's budget goes to the writers, executive producer Tony Thomas says. Staff writers on a comedy series earn a weekly salary plus separate payments for completed scripts. A free-lance writer who does a story outline, a first draft and a second draft can earn about $11,000. (Note: All outside script submissions must come through agents.)

"A good comedy requires a lot of teamwork, a lot of people sitting in a room working together," Thomas emphasizes. "A good team is rare, but it's not extremely rare. It's like winning the NBA title. We had it in 'Soap,' and we had it for some years in 'Benson.' Obviously this is one of the most successful staffs we’ve ever put together."

Both Witt and Thomas deal with day-to-day details on "Golden Girls." Harris, who created the series, is less involved this season because, according to Thomas, "She is working on a feature for Disney with us. But she reads all the scripts and is familiar with most of the stories."

Flashback to the previous Friday, a week when "Golden Girls" wasn't taping. Every fourth week during the season, the show shuts down, giving the actors and crew a rest and allowing the writers to catch up.

The Gang of Five is trying to explain how their writing process works. They insist on telling, rather than showing, because, as they say, they're shy. "At the beginning of the season, even having our new writers in the meeting made me a little uncomfortable," Grossman admits. "It slowed down the process."

"One of the most important things that exists with this group is that the bottom line is making the show as good as possible. It's still very difficult when your script is read for the first time and the material doesn't work. It hurts for a moment. But there's no time to take it personally. It didn't work, and the clock is ticking. You better keep moving and get it right."

Like all sitcoms, "Golden Girls" has a "bible," a book that synopsizes everything that has happened on a series. Thus, new writers don't have to watch all the previous episodes. But there is no master plan of what will happen in the future.

The idea for "Letter to Gorbachev" surfaced last May at a beginning-of-the-season meeting of the writers and producers. "It was one of 20 or 30 story notions kicked around," Barry Fanaro recalls. The obvious similarity to Samantha Smith's letter to then-Soviet leader Yuri Andropov isn't mentioned.

"Most of them didn't work,” adds Fanaro's writing partner Mort Nathan, "but this one sounded amusing. Because Rose is a childlike character, we wondered what would happen if she wrote a letter to Gorbachev about world peace. We started fleshing it out, but we couldn't think of a second act. We went round and round, and finally six weeks later we came up with a way to make the story work."

"The five of us went over it scene by scene and agreed it was workable," Fanaro continues. "Then Mort and I went off and wrote it. It took about 10 days because we were also working on other things."

Each "Golden Girls” episode is written to a formula: "the idea, the act break and the resolution," Grossman explains. "Usually there's an 'A' story and a 'B' story going. It's the natural structure."

Although Fanaro and Nathan, who won a writing Emmy last year for a "Golden Girls" episode, wrote the basic Gorbachev script, the story the audience will see has gone through the usual "Golden Girls" grinder: The Gang of Five read and dissect the first draft, adding new scenes, new lines, new jokes. "It's really a team effort," Grossman stresses.

The jokes can be the easiest part — or the hardest. "They're only hard to write when you've got one that isn't working," Grossman says. "A joke in the middle of a scene can be weak, but the 'out joke' — a snappy one-liner that ends the scene on a laugh — has to be strong."

"We may decide a scene needs a new opening," Speer explains. "There will be a long moment of silence. Then someone will ask if anybody's eaten at some new restaurant. In the course of conversation, somebody will say, 'Wait a minute. I have an idea.'"

"With five of us, at least one of us is paying attention," Hervey deadpans.

"Good writers should be able to write for men, women, old or young," Grossman says. "We all draw on other people in our lives — parents, grandparents. Part of the reason for the show's popularity is that these are very vital people. The very same story you've seen 100 times on every sitcom takes on new light with characters in this age group. That makes life easier for us.

"Also, these four actresses are sensational. To have the entire cast be able to give such high-caliber performances means you don't have to adjust your material. You write the material, and they deliver. If they can't make it work, there's something wrong with the material."

The week goes by quickly. On Tuesday morning, the "golden girls" read over the revised script and discover that one scene has changed considerably. Some lines have been cut, while others have been sharpened. There are several new jokes. A press conference scene has been shifted from a hotel room to the ladies' living room.

On Tuesday night, the Gang of Five works late. During the day's rehearsals they realized that the revised scene didn’t play well so they jettisoned it and added some new dialogue and a few more jokes.

Following Wednesday's rehearsals, they hone the script a little more. Time is pressing. By the Thursday afternoon dress rehearsal, the actresses try to be script-perfect, although they often aren't. By now, the original 52-page script has been reduced to 50 pages, and almost every page has had at least one alteration.

For instance, on Monday when Blanche accidentally spat Coca-Cola on a Soviet Embassy official, he responded by saying, "No apology necessary." Now he says, "No need to apologize. In Moscow, we have to stand in line four hours to get this."

Late Friday afternoon, the audience files into Renmar Studios to watch the first taping. The writers are standing by, just in case a last-minute problem occurs. During the 90-minute dinner break, while a new audience is arriving, the cast, writers and producers calmly discuss how to improve the second taping. A few lines are cut, the taping is completed, and it’s on to the next week.

Source: Mills, Nancy. 1987. 'Golden Girls' Polishes Its Scripts: Daily Revisions Geared to Sharpen Story and Hone Those Laugh Lines. Los Angeles Times, October 30, https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1987-10-30-ca-11702-story.html

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Life After Losing Him

Summary: Reader goes about their new daily life but soon runs into the best friend they had lost several months prior.

TW/CW: Platonic!Reader x Sam and Dean Winchester (mostly Dean tbh). Classmate bullying Reader. Should College Student Reader be a warning? Bc I feel like it should lmao. Lots of swearing. Dean does the silver blade test so a wound and blade are mentioned. I don’t think there’s anything else but lmk if I should add something.

Requested?: Yes, a lovely Anon said, “Hello love, your writing is really good and I love how active you are on your account it’s very impressive I could never 🥰 I would be so honored if you could do a platonic imagine for me??? I had in mind like Dean going to hell and coming back and being mad at Sam because he stopped hunting and maybe being mad at reader for moving on and going to college/not trying to help Sam? Idk if that makes any sense lol”

Word Count: 1,880

A/N: So, Dean isn’t as angry as I could’ve written him to be, I didn’t really include Sam much in this one, and it’s mostly Reader going about her day in her new life. If enough of you want it, I could write a second part where Dean and Reader get home and talk to Sam or whatever. I hope this is alright. I personally really like some bits of it but as a whole it feels off to me for some reason.

Your POV

    I grabbed the car keys off my side table before heading out my bedroom door with my backpack slung over my shoulder. I stopped in the kitchen to grab the lunch I had packed the previous evening and a thermos of coffee before heading out for another day of boring ass classes. When I enrolled at the local community college to major in folklore and mythology, I thought the classes would be more interesting and it would be a piece of cake but unfortunately, I got stuck with a boring professor who obviously didn’t even want to be teaching the class in the first place. I push the garage doors open before making my way over to the car. I open the door and drop down into the driver’s seat, set my thermos in the cupholder near my feet, and toss my backpack and lunchbox into the passenger seat. After closing the door, I sigh as I place my hands on the steering wheel, “Alright, Baby. Another day without him but I know you’ve still got my back.” I reach over and pat the dash before cranking the ignition and pulling out of the garage to head for school. The ride to school is quiet aside from the classic rock drifting softly through the speakers.  

    I manage to find a decent parking spot within walking distance of my class but have to mentally prepare myself before grabbing my coffee and backpack and stepping out of the car. I lock the doors, shut mine, and head towards class. On autopilot, I find the classroom that I need and take my usual seat near the front against a wall and turn my back to the wall as I always do. Aside from a few who like to get here early for the same reason I do, to get our favorite seats, the majority of the class hasn’t arrived yet so I pull out my notebook, pen, and coffee. I avoid all eye contact with the others in the room and label my notebook page for today’s lecture. For the most part, people around here seem to avoid me although I haven’t decided if it’s because I intimidate them or because they think I’m “one of those backwoods crazy people” or perhaps it’s both. Regardless, it suits me fine. I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to get a degree and do something useful with my new life. When he died, Sam and I both agreed to not try to find a way to bring him back and try to create a normal life. Every now and then, I secretly take a hunt but it’s usually nothing more than a basic salt and burn case. I did get a job at a local mechanic shop. They were practically begging me to take the job when I showed up for the interview in Baby.

    I’m pulled from my thoughts as a loud group of guys enter the room. I try to ignore them but as per usual their little pack leader wants to try to ruin my day. He calls out to me but thankfully before he can start something, the instructor enters and tells him to have a seat. I’ll have to give this instructor points for at least not putting up with any bullshit like that in his class. Anyway, the rest of the class joins shortly and takes their seats and, on the dot, as always, the instructor starts his lecture. A miserable hour and a half later I have several pages of notes, most of which are completely false from a hunter’s perspective, about topics I already know the truth about just so I know what the instructor will expect on the test. The instructor dismisses us so I pack away all my things and head back to the car to eat lunch before my next class.

    I’m about halfway back to the car, which is completely hidden by a huge, jacked up, 4x4 pickup truck, when the loud group of guys catches up to me and their leader calls out again, "Hey, nerd! Why don’t you stop for a second? I didn’t get a chance to take notes in class and I want to get pictures of yours.”

    I ignore him and keep my head down as I mumble under my breath, “yeah because you were sleeping,” and continue to the car. As I come around the back end of the pickup and approach the car, I slam into something, or rather someone, sturdy and nearly get knocked on my ass if it weren’t for the person catching me. Out of instinct I go to grab my dagger out of its sheath under my sleeve but the person grabs my hand, “Don’t pull that thing out here. It’s just me.” Hearing that voice causes pure shock mixed with a touch of suspicion to wash over me. I look up and into the face of my formerly, dearly departed best friend, Dean Winchester. However, before I can ask questions or even test to make sure it’s him, the small group of my classmates rounds the end of the pickup truck causing Dean to push me behind him in a protective way.  

    The pack leader grins mischievously, “Who’s this? You know this guy, nerd?”

    I roll my eyes but Dean speaks up for me, “I’m (Y/n)’s brother you little bitch. Now, fuck off and leave her alone.” In all honesty, Dean wasn’t biologically my brother but he and Sam have been the closest thing to having any siblings in general that I’ve ever gotten.  

    The pack leader looks around Dean at me, “This true?” I nod. He laughs, “Well, I don’t know which of you are driving this piece of junk but you should probably get with the times and stop driving this old rust bucket. Maybe you could upgrade to a nice truck like mine here,” he taunts patting the truck parked beside us.

    “Your attention seeking, overcompensating piece of shit on wheels could never handle the things this car has been through,” Dean argues, stepping forward. I grab his arm and tug in attempts to get him to back down, no luck.

    The guy scoffs, “Yeah right. I bet if your little friend behind you there hit a curb it’d tear this car to pieces.”

    Before Dean can get into a fist fight, I unlock the car door and shove him in before climbing in myself. Unfortunately, the asshole doesn’t get the hint that I’m leaving and leans back against Baby. I check the mirrors to make sure that I’m not going to run anyone over before driving forward out of my spot, mentally thanking whoever didn’t park there or had just pulled out of the spot in front of me, causing the pack leader to fall on his ass. I laugh to myself as I watch in the rearview mirror and then take off. I find a secluded spot on campus to park so that I can test Dean, figure out what the hell happened with him, and eat my lunch before my next class in four hours. When I put the car in park, and look over, he’s already rolled his sleeve up and has a silver blade ready for the test. He presses the blade into his arm right above another wound that looks fresh.  

    “I figure if Sam wanted all the tests done then you definitely will,” he grumbles before wrapping his arm having sufficiently proven he’s not allergic to the silver. I grab the bottle of holy water that I keep in my backpack and hand it to him. He takes a sip of it before handing it back to me. I nod in understanding before grabbing my lunchbox to eat.

    Once I’ve opened my sandwich, I take a bite, chew, and swallow before asking, “What happened this time?”

    “I don’t know, Sam’s working on that now,” he pauses, watching me, “I’d like to know what the hell happened to you.”

    “There it is again. You never call him Sam but that’s twice in just the past few minutes,” I muse, avoiding his question, “I guess you’re pissed at him because he stopped hunting?”

    “Yeah, and it seems to me like you did too so why don’t you answer my question?” he replies.

    I sigh, and toss my sandwich back onto the paper towel in my lap, “After we lost you, Sam and I agreed to not go looking for a way to bring you back and to start living a normal life. Granted, I always mentally thanked him for phrasing it that way because that meant if a way to bring you back fell into my lap then I could take the opportunity. Regardless, I got a job at a mechanic shop nearby and started classes here for a degree in folklore and mythology.”

    He scoffs and whips his head around to look out the windshield, “So you stopped hunting too. What the hell is wrong with you two?”

    “The two of us didn’t stop hunting. He did,” I snap back, “He doesn’t know it but I go on hunts every now and then when the apple pie life gets too boring.”

    “What about that asshole back there? Why do you let him bully you?” he asks, nodding his head toward where we had come from earlier.

    “He’s always trying to pick on me but I ignore him for the most part and keep my dagger in my sleeve just in case. The less attention I draw to myself the better.” I answer.

    “You’re really balancing all this? Like, you go to class and study for exams and shit but then every now and then you go hunting during the weekend?” he asks and I nod. “So, what about Sammy?”

    “He got a job, even been on a few dates but like I said, he stopped hunting, as far as I know anyway,” I respond. My phone dings before either of us could say anything else so I pick it up to check it and find that my instructor for my other class for today has sent out a message to cancel it for today. I toss the phone down onto the seat between us and stuff my sandwich and everything else I had pulled out back into my lunchbox before putting the car in drive and backing out of this spot.

    “What are you doing?” he questions, once again. I swear if he doesn’t knock it off with the questions, I’m going to roundhouse his ass.

    “Going home. My other class for today was cancelled,” I answer shortly.

    He’s quiet until we get to the campus entrance, “Can we- uh- Can we stop and get a burger on the way?” I nod as I laugh at him. This is probably going to be weird to adapt to but we’ll figure it out. The three of us always figure things out. Honestly, if this turns into something bigger, as it usually does, then wouldn’t mind quitting school. Turns out it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and definitely not for me. I just hope Dean won’t sulk too long about how Sam and I handled life after losing him.

Masterlist

Taglist: @emiijemii @akshi8278 @deandaydreaming @castiels-majestic-wings​ @desimarie12​

[fluffymcu]

Letting Loose

Part NINE

This series is TICKLE related. Outfits that are linked here are purely for picturing the clothes, you don’t have to look like the model.

Series Summary:  You’re the little sister of the one and only Captain America. You’re also the youngest girl on the team, so that automatically makes you the avengers’ little princess. And they spoil you as such. They have become your amazing family and you don’t know where you’d be without them. This series will show random adventures and fluffy events in the daily life of the reader and her family, along with an unexpected turn later on as you read.

A/N: I’m so excited to be writing this series! This is my first time writing one and I’m a bit nervous but I hope it all goes well. :) The first few chapters will be about random events, not really following a timeline until Chapter 9. Hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 2,368

Previous       Next

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A week has flown by and it was now Friday afternoon. You and Peter got home from school and said hi to everyone in the kitchen. Pepper was making lasagna and Nat was helping. You tried to join in and help the girls cook but they insisted that you got some rest, and that they have enough help tonight. After talking to the rest of the team about school, they went down to the gym to work out before dinner and you went upstairs to practice some ballet. 

Steve had gone up to one of the hobby rooms, which were small rooms around the compound that people could spend some quiet time and read or draw. You spent about an hour practicing, before getting tired and taking a shower.

You got out of the bathroom feeling refreshed and moisturized. You collapsed onto your bed and stared at the ceiling, feeling your back relax and de-stress. You sigh contently and lay like this for a few more minutes before going down to the gym to check on the team.

Clint, Sam, Bucky, Tony, and Thor were in the gym, working out. Clint was doing weights, Sam was on the floor doing pushups and drills, Bucky was alternating between the treadmill and the punching bag, and Thor was competing in the drills with Sam. Tony was sitting on the bench and cheering them on. You smiled as you enter the gym and sit next to Tony, resting your head on his shoulder. “Working hard or hardly working?” You asked, a hint of a smirk on your lips. Tony chuckled, rolling his eyes.

“I, my sweet Y/n, am being an inspirational cheerleader.” He says matter-of-factly. You put your hands up in defense and chuckle a bit.

“Oh, of course. My bad. You are an amazing cheerleader, Tony.” You grin. He smiles and thanks you before clapping when Thor beats Sam in the drill. 

“That’s not fair, dude, you’re an Asgardian. An alien. How am I supposed to beat you?” Sam whined, getting up and wiping sweat from his forehead. Thor laughed victoriously and stood up as well.

“You’re not. Ha ha ha!” He boasts, making Sam roll his eyes and walk away. You shake your head lightly, knowing Thor loves to mess with the team about not being worthy and not being as strong as him. After a few minutes of Sam grumbling and Bucky laughing at him, you made your way upstairs. 

----

You were going to go check up on Peter but as you walked by the hall, you noticed someone was occupying one of the hobby rooms. You peaked in through the small window and saw that Steve was in there sitting on a chair with his back to you. You stepped into the room and walked up behind him. He turned around to look at you when he sensed your presence and smiled up at you. “Hey.” He sighed. 

“Hey.” You looked over at the table to see what he was doing. He was drawing. Your smile faltered a bit, recognizing the drawing to be Peggy. Whenever Steve would draw these days, it usually meant that he was thinking too much, or he was feeling sad. “Is that Peggy?” You asked cautiously. Steve looked back to the table, his eyes softening in almost a sad way. “Yeah.” He sighs. You nod a little and pause. “Are you missing her right now?” You ask. 

Steve stared at the mostly finished drawing of his first love, looking at it intently. Yes he missed her. A lot. She was strong, independent, brave, and the perfect match for him. She helped him discover a lot of things inside himself that he didn’t even know he had. After you, she was his last thought before he went in the ice. He’s had to deal with the heartbreak of missing his date with her for all those years. He was coping with it better now, but there were still times like these where he missed her a lot, and it’d cut deeper than usual.

“Yeah, a little bit.” He mumbled. You hummed and wrapped your arms around his neck from behind, holding his tightly close to you. Steve closed his eyes and leaned into the hug, lifting his hand to rub circles on your arm. You both stayed like this for a moment before you smiled lightly. You loosened your grip a bit to stand up straighter and looked down at him. 

“Can I help you feel better?” You asked, your voice perking up a bit. Steve looked up at you with a slightly curious face.

“What do you mean?” He hummed. You smirked a bit, trying to hide it by biting your lip before gently scratching your fingers around his neck and ears, grinning widely when he began to chuckle loosely. “Aww greheheat.” He giggled, scrunching up his shoulders to block you. 

“When I feel sad, you always do this to me...”You giggled along with him, finding a way to get a new spot every time. By then, Steve was giggling uncontrollably. You stuck your hands in between his body and arms, scratching at his ribs. Steve huffed out a laugh and flinched harshly in his chair, his laughter becoming louder and more desperate. 

“Okahahahay. Wahahait- Heheheheh!” He tries, falling into laughter again as you scratch at his sides gently. He grabs your wrists but you quickly pull them out before he can really get a good grip on them and shoot them up his armpits, now that his arms are raised a bit. He yelps loudly, squeezing his arms to his sides and falls into a fit of laughter. You smile victoriously as you’re finally showing him that you are in fact, a very worthy opponent in these types of play fights. Or maybe he was just letting you have the upper hand because of the whole situation, you didn’t know. But for now, you were just going to enjoy the moment of being able to tickle your brother to pieces. 

“Although I’m mostly doing this to cheer you up, it does feel good to get you back for all the times you’ve tortured me.” You smirk, going back up to flutter your fingers behind his ears. Steve laughs at your tease and decides that he’s let you have your fun long enough, and that it’s time to turn the tables. He turns around in his chair to face you and smirks widely.

“Oh, really? Then I guess I’ll get you back for this, too!” He teases before grabbing your waist and lifting you up in the air. You squeal nervously, beginning to protest and giggle out pleads. He drops you on the little couch in the room with a chuckle, quickly fluttering his fingers all around your neck to give you a taste of your own medicine. You squeal loudly and burst into giggles, kicking your legs out and using them to try to turn on your belly. Steve scoffed and shook his head at you curiously. “What is it with you always trying to hide your belly, huh? You know I’m gonna get it anyways!” He sang, effortlessly turning you back around and scribbling all five digits into the middle of your belly. 

You arch your back and and let out loud belly laughter as you desperately try to get his hand off. He uses his free hand to squeeze your knee rapidly, causing you to scream and shake your leg like crazy. “STOHOHOHOP! IT TIHIHICKLES!!” You beg. Steve chortles and jumps onto the couch too, landing on top of you and purposely putting all his weight on you. You fall into a bigger fit of laughter as you try to get him off you. “OHOHOHOW! YOU’RE HEHEHEAVY!” You giggle, squealing loudly when he begins to blow several raspberries in the crook of your neck, knowing you’re unable to move from under him. He smiles widely at the sound of your uncontrollable giggling and keeps blowing raspberries, using his hands to tase your sides. You arch your back and shake your head frantically, pulling at your arms enough to be able to free them. You gasp in surprise and begin to attack Steve’s neck again, smiling victoriously when he sat up a bit and recoiled.

It was short-lived however, when he grabbed your wrists in his hand and gave you a knowing look. You whined and threw your head back in defeat, not bothering to contain your tired giggles. Steve chuckled and shook his head before lifting up your wrists and lifting your shirt on one side to reveal your torso. He paused for a second, inches away from your skin to build up anticipation before blowing a raspberry on your ribs. You screamed and flopped around as much as you could, pulling at your wrists and screaming out pleads. He looked up at you with a wide smile, sitting up a bit and positioning himself where he’s straddling your waist now. “Should we count your ribs? I feel like you could be missing some.” He teased, tapping his chin thoughtfully. You immediately squeal and bring your arms to your sides and holding them together as tight as you could. 

“Nohohohoho! Plehehease don’t!” You plead, giggling again when he ghosts his fingers over your belly to get you to bring your arms down. “Steheheheve!!” 

Steve starts to laugh at the situation, starting to poke around your belly and nuzzle his face in your neck, all in hopes of making you loosen your arms. You feel yourself get weaker with your laughter and your arms loosen when he starts to mumble incoherent things into your neck. He chuckles and grabs your arms, quickly digging into your ribs. You shriek and begin to cackle, Steve counting your ribs out loud and digging into the spaces in between. “Awww, look at you all blushy!” He teased, using a baby-ish voice, knowing it annoys you. You feel your cheeks heat up, shaking your head in between your laughter. When he reaches your fourth rib, your laughter becomes hoarse and Steve cooes, deciding you’d had enough. 

He sits up and looks at you with a smirk on his face while you catch your breath, greedily sucking in air. “Thahahat! That was nohohot fahahair!” You pant, pointing at him accusingly. Steve began to laugh and grabbed your hand, holding it in his. “I was only trying to cheer you uhuhuhup!” You huffed. 

Steve chuckled and laid back down on you, smirking at your loud groan from being crushed again. “I know, and you did. I feel a lot better now.” He says, hugging you. Despite the uncomfortable weight on you, you smile since you were able to distract him and make him feel better. Yes, you had to suffer to do it, but if he felt better after, it was worth it. “Thank you.” He smiles, lifting his head to look at you before peppering kisses all over your face. 

You begin to laugh again, shaking your head around. “Grohohohoss!” You giggle, pushing at his chest. “Get ohohoff!”

“What?” Steve hums, continuing on for a few moments more before sitting up and getting off you. You sigh, letting out residual giggles and he offers you a hand. “Okay, enough messin’ around. Let’s go see if dinner’s ready, hm?” He chuckled, helping you up. You nod and follow him down to the kitchen where you find most of the team there. 

----

“Oh, just in time, we were about to call you down for breakfast. Peter’s still not down yet.” Pepper said, fixing the plates at the table. You made your way back upstairs after you offered to go get Peter and peeked into his room to find him studying. He looked like he was very engrossed into his notes, so you decided to sneak up on him. This usually didn’t work, because of his spider sense, but that never stopped you from trying. You sneaked closer and closer to him before forming your hands into claws and getting ready to pounce. 

3,2,1..

“BOO!” You scream, gripping his shoulders harshly, hoping to startle him. But, nothing. Peter turned to look at you with a smirk. 

“Ooooh. Better luck next time, Y/n/n. Heard you from a mile away.” He teased. You groaned and rolled your eyes, turning away to hide your smile. 

“Whatever. Dinner’s ready.” You waved your hand dismissively as you left the room. Peter smirked and ran up behind you and grabbed you in a headlock, ruffling your hair. You yelped and broke out into giggles as you pushed at him.

“Aww, is the princess mad that she can’t scare me?” He chuckled, letting you go when you push against him. You pant, with a wide smile on your face and smooth your hair down. 

“Shut up.” You quip, sticking your tongue out at him. Peter chuckles, pushing lightly at your head a bit and follows you down to the kitchen. You both sit down at the table and eat, talking with the team about your day as usual.

----

After dinner, you were all sitting down in the living room, flipping through Netflix and discussing what you were all going to watch. You were all interrupted by the doorbell ringing. 

“Did anyone order anything? Takeout? Online shopping?” Tony asked, everybody shaking their heads and denying. You all exchanged confused looks, since nobody ever visits the Avengers Compound. You hop off the couch and go for the door. “Who is it?”

You see the person standing outside as you get closer, recognizing them. It’s a girl. Your classmate; the one that has been giving you weird looks for a while now. You furrow your eyebrows and open the door, offering her a light but confused smile. “Hello,,, can we help you?” You ask. She’s looking down at the floor, shifting a bit in her position before mumbling something you can’t hear. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. What was that?” 

She takes a deep breath before looking at at you with dulled eyes. “Yeah, I’m Tony Stark’s daughter.”

 You step back, a bit startled by the information, everyone rising from their seats as well and approaching the door. Everyone now has an extremely shocked expression on their face, and Tony’s face pales. 

“Wwwwhat?!”

-------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, it’s a bit of a dramatic ending lol sorry if it’s cliche or cheesy XD

[shmegmilton]

Can you explain how Aaron and Alexander stopped being friends and started fighting?

They were never really ‘friends.’ I assume you got that idea from the play, but I have no idea why the play tried to push that narrative. Civil? Sure, but that was necessary. New York was less than 50,000 people at the time, and they were both accomplished lawyers & statesmen who had to work and interact with each other on a daily basis. Politics is politics, look at how people are acting right now during our election. 

As for your question, it’s a long line of policy & personal disagreements, mostly. They were on opposite sides of the aisle on pretty much everything. Lots of small things, but a lot of big, BIG things.

     Burr was (ironically) kind of a pacifist; he kept mostly to himself, didn’t really speak much publicly & didn’t necessarily go out of his way to confront people unless he’s been pushed long enough (everyone ‘snaps’ at some point, y’know?)

But that’s why the ‘Burr is an evil mastermind’ myth is so pervasive today. Burr just… didn’t bother defending himself, or correcting anything, because he (mistakingly) had faith in the inherent goodness of people that someday people would see him for his true character. So for that reason, we don’t really have a good timeline from Burr’s perspective as to how he felt about Hamilton—but BOY howdy did Hamilton never shut up about Burr.

----

Trespass & Confiscation Acts  (1782ish)

     During the Revolution, the British confiscated the property of patriots that fled the city. New York did the same thing, & for a while it was this game of: ‘Oh, you’re gonna take my stuff? **draws a line in the dirt** Well, everything behind this line is mine now.” It was all very bad, and after the way Tories & Loyalists faced a lot of honestly very fucked up discrimination & forfeiture of their rights. Hamilton (like most Federalists) was pro-British, so he represented a lot of these people in court. I’m sure it wasn’t purely out of the goodness of his heart--most of his clients were loaded--but the sentiment is there. On the other hand, there are multiple records of Burr buying up property around this time, most likely confiscated Tory property, which he would usually flip or give away to people that he knew, so he was taking full advantage of this. Burr also, most likely, went head-to-head with Hamilton on a few of these cases, because Burr tended to work with the ‘common folk.’

French Revolution (1789ish to 1799ish) & Proclamation of Neutrality (1793)

     Burr (like most Democratic-Republicans) was pro-French, so much so that he took in French refugees fleeing the Revolution into his home. He was very sympathetic to the cause.Hamilton was not. He basically saw it the same way that right-wing Conservatives see the Black Lives Matter movement is the best way I can explain it. He also hated it for the amount of immigrants that were now fleeing to the U.S.

Burr Gets Chosen For NY Senate (1791)

     Key word: chosen. As in, he didn’t actually run. That wasn’t how politics worked back then. The Hamilton musical just fucking lied outright about that, let’s be clear. He also never switched parties. Ever. Back then you were nominated by the people who were already in government--usually by one of the powerful families like the Clintons or the Livingstons, or yada yada. So Burr didn’t actually do anything. He didn’t even really want the position either, if I recall. But back then if you were ‘called to serve,’ you were obligated to do it. Hamilton was furious either way because it meant that Burr was replacing his father-in-law, Phillip Schuyler, meaning that he wouldn’t have that extra ear in government that he wanted. Burr also had a lot of views that were considered ‘extreme’ at the time, like getting extra rights for women, immigrants & black people, but I have no idea what Hamilton thought of those individual policies other than he just didn’t like women, immigrants or black people.

1792 & 1796 Presidential Election

Burr wasn’t really that serious about either of these elections, I don’t think (in ’92 he wasn’t that well-known & barely got any support, but it’s worth noting the fact he was nominated to run at all was really impressive. He’s tied with William Jennings Bryan as being one of the youngest people to ever receive an electoral vote, at 36 years old.) In ’96 he faired a little better—he got 30 votes, which is nearly half of what you need to get the ticket nomination, also very impressive.Hamilton was super staunchly opposed to both of these runs, though, and did his typical Hamilton thing of openly campaigning about how the people shouldn’t vote for Burr, yada yada.

Jay Treaty (1794)

     I highly suggest looking up supplemental information on this because it’s a bit complicated, but it was basically a treaty between us and Great Britain to reaffirm that we were going to continue to not mess with France, as well as a couple of other weird hang-ups. It was not popular, at all, especially with the Demo-Republicans. There is a specific instance (that is actually kind of insane) where Hamilton gave a public speech in defense of it, and the Democratic-Republicans in the crowd started pelting him & the other Federalists with rocks. Hamilton got SO mad that immediately challenged a man to a duel, and threatened to fight each of the Democratic-Republicans one-by-one.  

Reynolds Affair (1797)

     Burr had a personal relationship with Maria Reynolds; he was her divorce attorney in 1793/1794, helped her out financially, & successfully petitioned (+paid for) her daughter Susan to attend a boarding school. I believe they also stayed in his him with him during the divorce proceedings, but don’t quote me on that. He never said anything publicly that I could find, but Burr probably had a personal investment in the Reynolds Pamphlet, since it painted Maria in a really damaging light.

Alien & Sedition Acts (1798)

     These were some of the most worst laws ever passed in the history of the country. Like, these were AWFUL. It not only limited immigration, but it limited the freedom of the press and freedom of speech (ESPECIALLY immigrants, my god.)

Burr was right on the front lines helping defend people in court, he actively opposed it & is probably the thing that propelled him into Jefferson’s orbit as a potential Vice President.

John Barker Church Duel (1797)

John Barker Church had accused Burr of taking bribes (which was unfounded & untrue) and they ended up dueling. JBC was the husband of Angelica Schuyler, Hamilton’s sister-in-law.

Neither was injured (though, JBC apparently put a hole in Burr’s coat), but it supposed infuriated Hamilton & his associates so much that they would send out fake letters “from Burr” challenging people to duels.

The Manhattan Company (1799)

    Burr was getting sick of the difficulty he was having getting loans from the Federalist-run banks and decided to do something about it. There had been several seasonal epidemics of yellow fever—caused by mosquitos but, at the time, it was thought to be caused by improperly treated water, miasma (‘bad air’) or (if you asked Hamilton) stinky evil immigrant refuges who were fleeing France and Haiti. Burr saw this and spearheaded a campaign to get a proper water treatment plant, even getting Hamilton to help him. Through some really weird loophole that I don’t quite understand, Burr was somehow allowed to use the ‘surplus capital’ for banking, which essentially turned it into a bank. The actual water treatment portion of the company was plagued with problems due to improper management and things like that.     We’ll never know his exact thought process on this (people normally assume it was malicious trickery because people are biased to hate Burr anyway) & I highly doubt that Burr knew the extent of the issues (he was on the Board of Directors, but so were a dozen others--INCLUDING John Barker Church) so I don’t entirely think it’s his fault, but the fact of the matter is that it most likely exacerbated the existing problems & indirectly led to more people getting sick/dying until they finally fixed the problems.I would say that it’s completely justifiable for Hamilton to be mad at Burr, but, as we established, Hamilton hated both poor people & immigrants (two groups most likely affected by this) so he wasn’t actually mad at him for the reason a… y’know, a normal person would be mad at him. He was mad at him because Burr destroyed the monopoly that Federalists had on banks, making it easier for Democratic-Republicans & others to get loans. He was literally mad at him for making the economy fair.

1800 Election & 1804 NY Governor Election

  These two are self-explanatory, I think, and I’ve already been writing way too long, lol. My hand hurts.