#Because I REALLY am bad at remembering people
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My wife once told me she would never play Baldur's Gate 3 because 'it's that slut game.' One year later she finally caved and did her very first playthrough.
May I present: Mrs. Cheery's chaotic gremlin adventure to Baldur's Gate.
Act 1
Our hero is the drow fighter, Lady Coolio. To this day we do not know whether Lady is her name or her title. She has a big sword, big tits and one goal: get to The Baldur's Gate with no distractions.
Escaped the 'Meat Bus' (Nautaloid). "Right how close am I to Baldur's gate? Like three hours?"
Sold her camp clothes by accident and was very sad that all she had to run around in was a grey hobo sack. (No mods. Sorry wife)
Asked if Withers was Solas's Dad.
Lady Coolio calls Astarion rat boy. In Wifey's words âhe told me âwhen I was a little lad Cazador made me eat rats.ââ
To be fair she isn't great with names so Halsin = Hoisin Sauce, Lae'zel = onion lady, Volo = Volvo, Cazador = Calzone (sometimes)
In camp: Gale "I'd like to show you something rather magical". Lady Coolio: "I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR MAGIC PENIS"
âThere are so many dead bodies everywhere this entire place has got to stinkâ (just act 1 generally)
Act 2
Ran into the shadow cursed lands very under levelled and Last Light inn instantly got sacked. Bad news as she was romancing Karlach and now canât get her second upgrade. Lady Coolio firmly blames Isobel for "triggering like three opportunity attacks when she could have... not done that."
Died to the shadow curse a LOT. Her: âWhy is everyone dying????â Me: âRemember the moon lantern?â Her: âThe what?â Me: â⊠that thing with the swearing pixie in itâ Her: â I still have to use that????â Me: â yes, because Isobel is deadâ Her: "WHY IS SHE STILL CAUSING PROBLEMS."
Hates the Gauntlet of Shar. Asked Shadowheart, âIs Shar the only goddess with an Olympic qualifier to join her religion?â
And now a series of comments on the Dead 3's chosen: âso the bad guys are evil undead Santa, Lady Gaga and the ugliest man Iâve ever seen?â)â âIs Gale⊠horny for that crown??â âMaybe Myrkul would be more threatening if he wasnât standing in an giant toilet and not movingâ
On discovering the Emperor) âwait my fairy god mother is a SQUID??? oh :( â
She did however become half illithid but hated that she ended up with varicose veins on her boobs.
Gale and Astarion then graduated to âthose weak pudding menâ because they kept getting stuck halfway across the map by missing jumps. Act 3
Said âBrexit means Brexitâ every time she met someone who was complaining about the refugees.
Went to see Raphael at Sharess's Caress. Didnât sign his contract â I trust neither Lord Farquad nor squid man but Iâm not selling my soul to someone who has such bad vibes.â
At Gortash's coronation. "I thought he was popular? Like seven people turned up to watch it. Is it because he's really ugly and smells like Lynx (Axe) body spray?"
She wanted to eat Orin's outfit because it looks like delicious bacon.
Walking around the city: "so where do I go??" "Anywhere you like." "I hate this."
She would not stop stealing things. I think she murdered the entire battalion of flaming fist in the lower city because "a lady's gotta eat." She also killed everyone in sorcererâs sundries including Rolan.
Had the prototypical stress aneurysm while doing the iron throne but somehow managed to get ALL the hostages out.
Laeâzel was kidnapped by Orin for 9 in game days . When I asked about this she said âFINDING CLOWN MEAT IS MORE IMPORTANT.â
âWhy does every door here lead to the sewer????? And why are there so many live mines in the sewer??â
(in the basement of the elfsong) âsoo because the Emperor has a shitty basement Iâm supposed to be best friend with him now? This soup recipe does not make me trust you squid manâ
Halsin ânature used all its powers when crafting youâ Wife âwell it also crafted bacon lady (Orin) so swings and roundaboutsâ
Astarion stayed a spawn and she convinced Gale not to use the crown. âNo one is becoming ultimate bitch on my watchâ
Despite her distrust of the Emperor she still allied with him in the final fight. Because, and I quote, "Lady Coolio's goal is to stop the Absolute. The Emperor has the same goal. I don't know when I became everyone's therapist and in charge of them making better choices but I'm putting my foot down at replacing dehydrated onion queen with baldy prince king over here. The Gith's religion is not my problem."
In her canon Lady Coolio and the Emperor high fived when they won.
85 hours later and Lady Coolio is the hero of Baldur's Gate. Please enjoy this picture of our heroine.
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#gale dekarios#astarion#karlach#lae'zel#shadowheart#wyll ravengard
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@lamentationsofalonelypotato
I'm so excited for you, my friend!! Thank you for diving in. đ„°
I like this line, because it's what made Dean stop. In my head I feel like this version of Dean has pushed away so many people and the reader is the first person in a long time to genuinely say that she was "worried" about him, and it strikes something in his chest because he couldn't remember the last time it happened. That's the headcanon in my head anyway lol.
Oh yeah, that's a totally accurate observation, poor Dean. đ„Č He hasn't allowed himself to be "worried about" in a long time, since he and Sam started up their own lives.
Also the spice was.... đ±đ¶ïžđ„. I literally cannot write smut to save my life, but you always write it so well! I also liked that you didn't do it as intense as omegaverse usually is, because we both know how it can be đ
ahaha thank youuu đ It's really not easy for me, but I write it when I feel the story warrants it. And totally, the more subtle approach was what I was going for loll! I don't think I could write the aggressive smut that omegaverse fics tend to be. đ€Ș
OH MY WORD DEAN SHUT UP! I promise it's okay! She loves you and she can see that you're not a bad person because you literally have been nursing her back to health with her broken ankle đ Not to mention you guys are fated! She's not going to let you go no matter what you do.
Lol RIGHT?! How many times do we have to go over this, Dean???? đ
But again... on brand for Dean to hate himself and to think he's not good enough -sigh- just means that you get to spend more time wrapped up with him trying to convince him đđ. I also believe that Dean loves intimac, that he does crave that connection with someone, not to mention I still love what you do in your Midnight Espresso series with Dean being a little touch starved for non-sexual touch. I feel like you've also implied this here and it is marvelous!
This is where I have to beat down the "not worthy" aspect of Dean's personality when it comes to love and intimacy. đ But I SO agree with you -- he craves it, even though he doesn't feel like he deserves it half the time. That's a big theme in Midnight Espresso, so I love you so much for enjoying that aspect in that series and in this one. đ„čđđ
I'm literally cackling. I can hear Dean saying this to his significant other. Meeting Baby for the first time holds the same place in his heart as meeting Sam for the first time đ€Ł ALSO, I wasn't ready for the palm kiss. Palm kisses and forehead kisses DESTROY me.
LOL this part of the scene was so vivid in my mind -- I have no doubt he'd be just like this when his girl meets his Baby. đ€Łđ€Ł Oh same. I LOVE hand kisses and forehead kisses. They're so wholesome. đ„č
I like that this was an alternate ending to the dumpster fire that was the end of Supernatural. That it's Dean and his girl out on the open road listening to a Led Zeppelin song holding hands in the front seat of Baby was just beautiful in the best way and a perfect ending to this mini-series my wonderful friend!! I am going to miss this couple so much, but it really was a fitting end for them đ„°
Honestly that's the biggest compliment I could get on this story! đđ It's the two of them riding into the subset to some Zep tunes, on their way to see Sam and his new little family. I might come back to write their little reunion, but until then, I'm so glad you've enjoyed this snowy, angsty ride. đâïžđđ
Against the Wind - Part 4
Pairing:Â Alpha!Dean Winchester x F. Omega!ReaderÂ
Summary: You wake up in a strange alphaâs cabin in the middle of a snowstorm, all with a busted ankle. He holds shadows in his eyes, even though his hands are gentle. There are iron shutters around his heart, even though he saved you. You might just save him in return.
AN:Â The grand finale...
Song Inspo:Â âAgainst the Windâ by Bob Seger
Word Count: 3.4K
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, knotting, claiming, fluff and feels.
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Part 4: Running to Live
His cold hands are warming on your skin as he slides them underneath your sweater. They move smoothly up your back, bunching up the material. You break from his kiss only to help him get the sweater off you, followed closely by his pants.
Your sweatpants slide down your legs with just a sharp tug, baring most of your body to his gaze. His eyes drag over your exposed neck and shoulders, your breasts cupped in your bra, down to your panties and bare thighs.
A shiver runs through you, both from his heated gaze, and from being exposed to the cooler air. Even with the fire going and the heater running in the cabin, the frigid air outside is unforgiving.
You have no problem with the way Dean guides you down from the chaise to take advantage of your nest on the floor, right in front of the fire. He draws you into a sensuous kiss, sucking your lower lip into his mouth and grazing with teeth.
âWere you nesting, Omega?â he teases, between the sinful meetings of his lips with yours. You hum your affirmation before his tongue swipes across your lower lip, seeking entrance.
You open yourself to him in more ways than one; you slip your hands across his naked shoulders and explore the smooth planes of muscle, the dips and softness in between. You encourage him to lower down, to cover you with the length and broadness of his frame. His weight is a welcome one between your thighs and against the softness of your body.
âWas worried about you,â you whisper a confession against his lips. Dean briefly pauses, meeting your eyes.
âThanks for waiting up,â he says, with a hint of a smile.
Your lips curve upwards in return. You reach up to caress his cheek, feeling the prickling of his stubble. Your fingers thread into his hair, and you pull him back down for a devouring kiss.
Deanâs brows furrow as he holds you to him, wanting to feel every part of your skin against his. His calloused fingers map their way down your side, and across your back to unhook your bra. His lips veer away from yours to burn a wet, heated trail along your neck. His teeth come out to graze your skin, down your throat, down the lovely valley between your breasts.
âDean,â you gasp, encouraging him when his hand cups one of your breasts. He explores the other with his mouth, teasing a pebbled nipple with his tongue. Your fingers tighten in his hair, your thighs rubbing together between the cage of his knees in the mess of blankets. Already you feel slick forming at the apex of your thighs and slipping down in between.
âBeautiful,â he murmurs against your skin. âFucking beautiful, you know that?â
You canât help but smile. Your face warms either from the fire dancing shadows across your bodies, or from him, his attention, his warmth, and the heat in his eyes when they meet your again. His hand slides down your body, over your hip and squeezing your thigh as he opens you up further for him.
âTell me what you want, Omega.â While I still have control, his tone implies. His voice is gravel and sin while his hand moves swiftly and smoothly up the inside of your thigh.
âTouch me,â you breathe.
Nodding, he hooks his fingers around the hem of your panties and slides them down. You help him kick them off. Afterward, his thumb brushes over your mound, making you sharply inhale and squeeze his shoulders encouragingly. His fingers dip inside your wet heat, his brows raising with a smirk, as he feels the sheer amount of your slick already coating his digits.
âFuck. This all for me, baby?â he remarks.
You hold onto the back of his neck with both hands as you nod, biting your lip. Your hips begin to cant against his hand on reflex, urging him to touch you.
âAlpha, pleaseâŠâ you implore, in a ragged whisper. He swallows your plea with a ravaging kiss, but he still gives you what you want. His thumb circles your clit, earning a moan from you into his mouth.
Soon, two of his fingers plunge slowly inside you, working you open, drawing more gasps and shudders of pleasure from your body. His length continues to strain hard against your thigh, but for him, itâs worth it to draw every sound, every time your body writhes and arches against him, craving release.
With a few more purposeful strokes, your inner walls clamp tight on his hand, and a flood of slick coats his knuckles even more. You gasp his name, your hands squeezing his arms just as tight as your pussy around his fingers.
Your skin is beginning to get dewy with sweat, and he kisses some of it off you when he trails down your chest. You stroke down his arms, down his back, whatever you can reach as you catch your breath. But then, his name falls from your lips with a firmer tone.
Dean raises his head, and you gently push at his chest. His brows furrow in confusion, only for it to be replaced with a smile of surprise when you curl a thigh over his hip and guide him onto his back. His head just manages to fall on one of your pillows, but he still utters a small grunt. You giggle down at him, bowing to meet him for a kiss.
He smirks and holds onto your hips, playfully squeezing your ass. âMy wily omega.â
âThought I was your cheeky omega,â you tease.
He snorts. âThat too.â
You giggle some more as you treat him to the same path of open-mouthed kisses down his neck. Except this time, you hook a hand behind his neck, and you trail your tongue around his mating gland. You feel his jolt of surprise, as well as his instinctive growl of pleasure in response to his mate. Or at least, not yetâŠ
His heart pounds in his chest.
âOmega,â he says, a warning not to tease as his grip tightens on your hips.
The command in his voice makes you shiver, but you smile and nuzzle his cheek in affection. You kiss your way down his body, playing special attention to his nipples, his stomach, the soft V and the happy trail of light brown fuzz leading you down between his hips.
Your fingers slide down his hardened desire through his underwear, earning a grunt from him, along with a shifting of his body against the blankets. Your lips curve as you nuzzle him there as well, letting your lips drag across his impressive length.
His fingers tangle in your hair when you hook your nails around the waistband and free his cock from its confines. His boxers join the rest of your clothes somewhere, and finally you get to see all of him, as much as he takes in all of you. Your hand wraps around his girth, your thumb circling around the sensitive, weeping head of it. Dean groans, a sound from deep in his chest.
You donât know this, but itâs been a while since anyone but his own hand has touched him. Thatâs not the only reason his body has been calling to yours, but it plays a part in how fucking good it feels, and how much more he wants you.
He feels your intentions when your hand moves down his shaft in a teasing caress, your fingers tracing around his knot. A shudder rattles down his spine, makes his desire burn hotter in the pit of his stomach.
He canât fucking take it anymore. He needs you, needs to be inside you. Needs to take you the way his instincts demand.
He grasps your shoulder before you put your mouth on him. You blink up at him, with a question forming on your lips, but he hefts you up onto his chest by your arms. He cages you there with a kiss filled with abject need.
âI canât. Canât wait anymore,â he says. He drags his fingers through your folds and earns another moan from your when he finds your clit. âYou ready for me, Omega? Need my knot?â
âYeah,â you nod, agreeing against his lips. âNeed you, Alphaââ
No sooner had the words escaped your lips, when Dean rolls you back underneath him. But this time, he guides you onto your stomach, then raises up your hips, until youâre on your hands and knees. You catch your breath as you regain your bearings, shooting an incredulous smile over your shoulder at Dean. He smirks back at you, but his gaze is intense, his pupils darkened with the alpha inside him.Â
Still, he soothes a hand down your back and steadies you with a hold on your hip. You feel him slot himself behind you, guiding his cock at your entrance. His chest presses hotly against your back.
âLast chance, Omega,â he says, his voice tight with restraint.
You look back at him again over your shoulder, your mouth threatening to frown. You reach back and sink your fingers into his hair with a sharp tug. âDo it.â
He sinks into you with one smooth plunge. Itâs a relief for both of you, your mingled moans echoing in the near silence. All thatâs left is the sound of your quickening breaths, of skin against sweat-slick skin as you move together.
Dean brushes your hair away from your neck. He kisses and licks his way along your bare shoulder, and finally the back of your neck. Youâre trembling by the time his lips find the sensitive flesh of your mating gland. It echoes with the pulsing from your core as he continues to drive into you.
âAlpha,â you gasp on reflex. You squeeze his arm; he has it wrapped tight around your middle. Your pleasure builds ever closer to that crescendo, especially as his thrusts become ragged, at an angle that zips delicious tingles through your core. âCloseâŠjustâŠI needâŠâ
Dean isnât so far gone. He hears you, and helps you, reaching his hand around to strum his fingers insistently on your clit, along with his final thrusts.
Finally, it tumbles you over. Your inner walls become impossibly tight around him as he draws out your second releaseâone that triggers his own. Dean groans into your ear; his knot swells and locks into place, and he spends himself deep inside you. He pants hot against your neck, but even though he fastens his lips there, he hesitates, once again making you shudder.Â
âDo it,â you repeat, in a coarse whisper. Youâre close to tears. âPlease. Want you, Alpha. Need youâŠâ
Once again, he hears you.
His teeth sink into the back of your neck, making you cry out. But your pain is quickly overshadowed by a deepest pleasure, thrumming along with his.
 Afterward, Dean holds you in his arms. The warm glow of the fire paints your skin in its light, despite the utter darkness in the rest of the house.Â
While you both wait for his knot to subside, you revel in the fact that you know heâs content. You can feel it through the newly formed bond. He traces random shapes in your skin, which still glistens with a fine sheen of sweat. The fire he stoked doesnât help to cool you down, but you donât care.
Nothing else matters but this. You turn your head toward him over your shoulder. He meets you there with a gentle kiss, much more gentle than any other youâve shared before. It feels right.Â
When he parts from you, he presses another kiss to your forehead. Then he leans back a little and sighs. You feel his thumb trace the raw flesh around the claiming mark on your neck. A small shiver runs through your body. Maybe on another day, youâll mark him in return.
âItâs too damn late,â he says, breaking the silence. âYou realize that right?â
You shoot him a frown. âToo late for what?â
âFor me to let you go,â he says.Â
His words both warm you and make you sad. Just how little does he think of himself?
âDean,â you say, endeavoring to be patient. âYouâre my true mate. Do you know how rare it is that weâve actually found each other?â
Dean remains quiet.
âAnd after everything youâve done for me,â you add, âhow can I not think youâre a good man? How can I not think this is right?â
He seems to consider your question. His gaze briefly falls, then meets your eyes again.
âYou donât know me that well,â is his answer, with a wry turn of his lips.Â
You reach back to caress his cheek. âThen tell me. Tell me about, umâŠtell me about how you became a hunter. From your dadâs journal, I got the sense that itâs a family thing.â
A vendetta, you wanted to say, but you keep that thought inside.
Dean chuckles, dropping another kiss onto your shoulder. You feel the pleasurable rasp of his stubble.
âYeah, more like a family business,â he says.Â
He tells you why John Winchester started writing in that journal in the first place. Dean explains it in his own words, of what his family was before and after a demon broke into his brotherâs nursery. Your heart continues to break for him, over and over, the more story he tells. Your shock can only reach new heights when he tells you about angels and demons and everything in between.Â
There are moments where he pauses, needing the time to find his words. Heâs talked for so long that his knot finally softens, allowing you to withdraw from him, just to turn in his arms and be able to see his face. He bundles you in the blankets to keep you warm, but he also keeps you close, with a loose arm around your waist as he continues.Â
You sense that heâs not telling you everything. How could he? A lifetime of blood and wins and incredible losses; family gained, and family lost, endless saves, and so many near misses. You listen with rapt attention (and a lot of shock) to everything he can share, but your heart twinges when you see how he struggles to talk about his motherâs most recent death. Then his best friend Cas.Â
You realize that this man, for all his self-deprecation, is a hero. More so than you already knew.
âAfter the whole Chuck thing was done, I thought weâd justâŠgo back to status quo. Me and Sam against the world, you know?â Dean says. He gives a rueful smile. âThen Sammy tells me he knocked up his mate.â
You smile. âYouâre happy for him though.â
âCourse I am,â Dean nods. âHe never thought heâd get to have all that. A badass chick who can keep him on his toes, a house, the kid, the whole damn thing. Heâs downright respectable again.â
His brotherly pride and his humor are tinged with something else though. You think you begin to understand. His losses have weighed him down, leaving him aimless and living in that in between, not unlike the ghosts he used to hunt. You know the feeling.Â
You thread your fingers with his, earning his attention.Â
âYou can have that too, you know,â you say. âI mean, I donât want to skip ahead, but I feel like things are going well here, despite the whole busted ankle thing.âÂ
Dean slowly smiles, shaking his head. He brings your hand up to his lips.Â
âOkay, enough about my Hallmark movie life. What about you?â he asks.Â
So you tell him.Â
You two continue to share and explore, both in words and with your bodies, until morning comes.Â
Itâs another week in the cabin before Dean insists on helping you down the mountain. Your ankle has gotten a little better, but at this point, you need to see a doctor. It takes a couple of days, going as slow as you need to. He ends up carrying you for most of the way anyway. You tell him over and over that he doesnât have to, but your alpha is stubborn.Â
Once he gets you back to the city, you two take a shuttle to the nearest hospital. X-rays are taken, and you get a new cast for your officially fractured ankle. At the very least, you donât need surgery. Youâre able to call your mom from there and let her know where youâve been, that youâre all right, and best of allâŠthat youâve found your mate.Â
You cry along with her on the phone, this time for a good reason. The best reason.Â
When youâre eventually released from the hospital, Dean picks you up in a sleek, black Chevy that has your eyes wide.Â
He grins at the look on your face. âHey, sweetheart. Come meet my Baby.âÂ
He parks the car and keeps the heater running while he comes around to you in swift strides. He takes your crutches and slides them into the backseat, then helps you into the passenger seat.Â
âItâs beautiful, but my God, how old is this thing?â
âShe. Sheâs a she.â
âOh, pardon me,â you say in amusement. âDo I have some competition here?â
Dean gives you a teasing smirk. âWell, technically, sheâs been with me a lot longer than you.âÂ
You scoff incredulously. He laughs and takes your hand, pressing a kiss into your palm. You discreetly study him and marvel at how much lighter he seems. You donât know how much is because of this, what your hand in his symbolizes, and how much is because heâs reunited with something important to him.Â
âItâs okay, Omega mine,â he says, with a measure of desire in his eyes. âFrom now on, youâre my priority.â
Your spine prickles with the same arousal you can feel from him through the bond. You lean across the way and share a thorough kiss.Â
Until a horn honks loudly from behind. You both jolt, but Deanâs face falls into annoyance. He shoots up a choice finger at the car behind him in the rearview mirror. You laugh as he begins to peel out of the curved pick-up and drop-off zone in front of the hospital.Â
âWhere are we going, Dean?â you ask, still smiling in amusement.Â
âWherever we damn well please.â He turns to you with a hint of a smile reforming on his lips. âWant me to take you back home? We can sort out the logistics on, uhâŠwell, this.â
You think about it. He poses a good idea, but at the same time, youâre not quite ready for this part of the adventure to end.Â
âHow long has it been since youâve seen Sam?â you ask.
Dean blinks at your question. He whistles lowly. âAbout a year. Jesus, since my nephew was born.â
You smile and reach over, resting your hand on his thigh.Â
âLetâs go see him, then,â you say. âI want to meet your family. Then you can meet mine.â
After that, you two can figure out the rest, like where to live, and how youâll live.Â
Dean raises a brow. âReally? Thatâs like, a thirteen-hour drive.â
You shrug. âIâve always wanted to go on a real road trip. Can we get some food first though? Iâm starving.âÂ
He laughs and nods as he stops the car at a red light.
âWhat do you know? A woman after my own heart,â he says. His amusement eases into a gentler smile the longer he stares at you. You smile back, and you give into the urge to lean in again, meeting your lips with his. He brushes your cheek tenderly with his thumb.Â
âI know what this needs,â he says lowly. Your brows draw together in a silent question.Â
He pulls away to reach into the side compartment along the driver door. He fishes out a cassette tape labelled Zeppelin IV. You bite your lip and try not to say anything smartassed.
Damn, this man is old school.Â
He skips ahead until he finds Track 7, just as the light turns green. A melodious guitar riff fills the car as he turns onto the main road with your hand wrapped in his.Â
Made up my mind to make a new start.
Going to California with an aching in my heartâŠ
AN:Â And that's all, folks! đ„č I truly hope you enjoyed Against the Wind!
Like I said in a recent update, I have more stories in store for you guys. January 3 will be Part 1 of Outlander -- sequel to The Honorable Choice -- a Western AU with Dean as our resident cowboy! I'll post a sneak peek on that one soon.~
But in the meantime, I hope you'll let me know what you thought of ATW! đđ
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Weekly Recap | January 27th-February 2nd 2025
Had the audacity to go on a daytrip over the border to the US and all I got was spending way too much money at Target and a cold :(
Complete
the sincerest form of flattery by canadadry (S8E3: Final Approach, Brad POV | 1,7K | Teen): âYour boyâBuck,â Brad says. âFirst marriage?â âPardon?â âWell, your wife isââ Brad starts, stops. Remembers at least a third of the lecture heâs been given at least a dozen times by his publicist on the danger of making assumptions. âHe calls your wife by her given nameâI mean, does the same to you, but Iâd reckon that has more to do with professionalism than personal grievances, given the fact that you clearly get on.â â in which Brad Torrence only almost passes out, and observes the aftermath.
The couch is a lawless place by paleredheadinascifi (Getting Together | 1,8K | Teen): Eddie had kissed him. He knows it happened, because the smudge of chocolate on his pants is still there, courtesy of the peanut butter cup heâd dropped when Eddie lent over and kissed him.
Call Ended (beep beep beep) by paleredheadinascifi (Wine Nights, Getting Together | 2K | Teen): Or, Buck wakes up to a series of increasingly horrifying calls from Eddie. He gets to the bottom of it.
Who you gonna call? by scarmaddiewrites (Post-S8A, Buck&Ravi | 1,7K | General): Buck has his first bad leg day since Eddie moved to Texas (Part 1 of The Chainsaw Gang)
Avoidance or Denial by scarmaddiewrites (Post-S8A, Getting Together | 4K | Not Rated): Eddie is back from texas and has some theories about Buck and Ravi....he's never been good at theories (Part 2 of The Chainsaw Gang)
and i'd do it over and over again by playinginthunderstorms/ @playinginthunderstorms (PWP, S8E6: Confessions | 4K | Explicit): Gun to his head, Buck honestly doesn't think he could say which one of them made the first move, but somewhere in between the six-pack he'd brought over and whatever was left of a dusty bottle of tequila in the back of a kitchen cupboard, Eddieâbeautiful, radiant Eddie, with his pink shirt and tiny underwearâhad ended up in his lap, thighs bracketing Buck's, gasping and grinding helplessly into Buck's hips, the most delicious whines spilling out of his mouth and straight onto Buck's tongue, white-hot pleasure spiking through him as potent as the lightning bolt, so he figures he'll at least die happy.
Weâre Looking For Something Dumb To Do by scarmaddiewrites (Bachelor Party, Secret Marriage | 5K | Not Rated): âWe should get married.â âWhat?â Buck chokes, his heart doing some weird fluttering thing in his chest. âReally?â âYeah, I mean⊠Iâm not a redhead or double your age, but maybe I still have a chance?â In the background, Buck hears someone chucklingâprobably Ravi, whose drunk giggles have turned into full-on cackles. âPlease, Eddie,â Buck says, his voice a mix of exasperation and something warmer, something fond. âHave you seen your ass? To hell with all the other requirements.â Or Buck and Eddie get married during the bachelor party and Ravi encourages it.
Your Life Was My Life's Best Part by saveyourblood/ @saveyourblood (S6E10: In A Flash | 5K | Mature): A neglected child. A soldier who saw people die. A veteran with PTSD. A first responder. A single father. A widower. Eddie Diaz became everything that was supposed to break him. What is he supposed to call this? What does he call the thing that may actually destroy him? - The one where Buck dies, then he doesn't, and their life flashes before Eddie's eyes.
lights will guide you. by dylaesthetics (Social Media, Eddie Sexuality Crisis | 6K | Mature): Am I (M33) comphet or an impostor???!!! For the record, I am straight. I think so, anyway. Or I did, all of six hours ago, before my coworkers introduced me to the term âcomphetâ. And now my entire world has kind of spun on its axis and Iâm wondering if Iâve been secretly craving dick this whole time. - OR after breaking up with Tommy, Buck goes on a deep-dive on sexuality. He needs to tell someone about all he learns, of course, and Eddie seems like the best option.
Golden Morning Sunbeams by Buddiesmutslut (Post-S8E8: Wannabes, Getting Together | 10K | General): Or: As Eddie is debating his move to Texas, a few texts from his son in the middle of the day set him on a course to getting everything he's been wanting.
đ„ An Angry Blade by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-8x05: Masks, Cursed Buck | 43K | Mature): Buck finds out that the curse of Billy Boils is VERY real, and far more complicated and dangerous than he could have expected.
đ„ oh brother, I see (you burn like me) by canadadry (Adriana & Maddie POV, Post-S7E10: All Fall Down | 47K | Mature): Adriana doesnât tell their parents that sheâs going to LA. She doesnât tell Eddie, eitherâor ask, for that matter. She does ask Chris, and he thinks itâs a good ideaâsays as much, on the phone, and doesnât say much else. âBuck will probably be hovering,â is what Chris does volunteer. It still surprises her when the man who opens the door is not Eddie. ItâsâCaptain America, is the thing that actually comes to mindâa man close to a foot taller than she is, if not more than that, with blond curls and broad shoulders, and heâs got a question in his very blue eyes thatâs probably less friendly than the one he actually asks her. âUh,â he says. âCan I help you?â â Or: Adriana arrives in LA. Maddie has been here the whole time.
đ„ Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, Divergent Post-S6 | 472K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesnât always look like it. Even if it doesnât always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.
WIP
đ„ Doe & a Drop of Golden Sun by ohstars/ @oh-stars (Canon Divergent, Dad Buck | 10/? | 45K | Teen): Buck doesn't mean to keep secrets from everyone, but he also can't talk about the pain he experiences on a day to day basis. With his nine-year-old living across the country and his custody limited to one monthly visit, Buck doesn't know how to share this part of himself. How does he tell his team of six years that he's had a kid this whole time? How does he tell his sister? How does he tell his Edd-- best friend? It's fine. The universe isn't going to give him a choice in the matter when the worst thing imaginable becomes his reality.
đ„[Podfic] Promising Light by cottagepodfics @cottagepodfics / fic by @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S8E8: Wannabes, Time Travel | 80min | 2/3 | Mature): Buck and Eddie fall asleep drunk and in separate rooms after the night of Buck and Tommy's breakup. They wake up seven years later, in an unfamiliar future, only to find out that they're married.
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An incredibly pernicious anti-transmasc argument that keeps making the rounds is that everything we do was plagiarized from trans women.
Coining a term to describe our unique and gendered experiences of oppression? We're just copying trans women.
Complain that we're often rejected from queer circles for our perceived violent maleness? We're just parroting what's happened to trans women.
Forcemasc fetish blogs? We're just copying One Specific Trans Woman-Run Blog that got popular.
These claims are annoying on their own, but together they paint a clear picture of what transandrophobes want you to believe: that trans men and transmascs are incapable of creating anything ourselves, or if we did, it would have nothing in common with what trans women and fems are doing. The function of these claims is to convince you that trans people of seemingly opposite identities are equally opposite in experiences, and any evidence to the contrary is actually cultural appropriation fueled by jealousy.
This is gender essentialism. It's fueled by the radical feminist belief that "woman" and "man" are not so much terms that get abused to justify people's oppression as they are positions in a class conflict, one where All Men seek and/or directly benefit from the oppression of All Women, and that indeed, manhood and womanhood themselves are defined by this relationship to one another. To be a man is to be an entitled parasite; to be a woman is to be an overworked victim.
That notion is racist and transphobic on the face of it, and that is equally obvious in these arguments about trans men - all of which are predicated on the idea that the average trans man is white, well-off, and able to go stealth whenever necessary, and therefore benefits from the maximum amount of male privilege a trans man can be afforded. Following from that logic, any trans man or that you encounter online can be reasonably assumed to share that experience, and any mention he might make of trans men who fail to meet those qualifications is nothing more than a rhetorical cudgel that we use to deny our own privilege.
I'm sure you can see the problem there.
It's not surprising that I typically see these claims made by white women, frequently about Black and Indigenous men. Speaking from the perspective of a white person, it can be very easy to fall into a trap of thinking that our specific experiences with oppression makes us general experts, and grow defensive when someone provides knowledge that shows we were wrong. It can like we're being victimized on the basis of the oppression we do have, and it can be incredibly hard to stop, listen, and admit that we fucked up. This is doubly difficult when the person criticizing us is a member of a demographic that seemingly contributes to the oppression we face.
But just because we think it's happening doesn't always make it so. Yes, there are times when people are acting in bad faith, or overlooking their own areas of ignorance - to err, as they say, is human. But often, we're the ones in the wrong, and need to recognize that fact before acting. So where do we draw the line?
The thing that I've always found crucial is to stop, breathe, and think. We have to honestly ask ourselves whether the other party is saying "your experiences are not real", or just "your understanding of these issues isn't as all-encompassing as you assumed". Simply asking yourself "am I really being harmed, or do I just feel like I'm being harmed?" can often save you from a massive foot-in-mouth situation.
It's necessary to remember that people whose identities are different from our own have their own experience and knowledge. Unless they are coming out and telling us what problems we do or don't have, we need to trust that they're coming from a place of good faith and genuine knowledge, and be willing to listen and change our minds if necessary.
We have to make ourselves comfortable with the fact that we are not always the most, or only, important voice in the room.
That's something that a lot of anti-transmasc women love to remind us, and I wouldn't say they're always wrong. Simply being a man can and often does incentivize people to engage in misogyny, to talk over women and disregard their experiences, when we find them uncomfortable or irrelevant. Again - everybody fucks up sometimes. But it crosses a line when you start demanding that courtesy from others while refusing to extend it back to them; when you treat any information they offer as automatically inferior or entirely invalid, based solely on their perceived relationship to privilege.
In fact, doing so is literally an ad hominem argument.
Aside from that, I must point out that these arguments are being employed specifically to silence trans men's and mascs' voices. This is not an honest misunderstanding; it's an act of profound self-centeredness at best and outright malice at worst. How do I know this? Well, stop me if you've ever heard one of these before:
"Women don't have real interests; they just like silly frivolous things. Men's hobbies are real and meaningful."
"Women are inherently wired to be emotional. Men are logical and level-headed. I'm not sexist, it's just science."
"If you hear a woman say anything smart, you can bet she learned it from a man."
These, too, are silencing tactics, historically (and currently!) used to devalue and silence the voices of women. In fact, they're things that I have personally heard and been affected by, as a trans man who has spent the vast majority of my life being seen and treated as a woman.
I didn't fall for it then, and I sure ain't falling for it now.
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#A READ#but a deeply loving one - @chicademartinica
oh man it is SO deeply loving what can I say about it?
bad shows and mediocre shows and boring shows are necessary for the artistic process. the truth is that sometimes Jojo Tichakorn will make a boring show. bless Never Let Me Go but I don't remember a single thing about that show other than Pond and Phuwin sat on the beach soulfully looking out at the sea in sepia adjacent coloring. But that was simply his artistic impulse. there's no THK without only friends without NLMG. And in that VERY same interview from TWO years ago Jojo revealed that Ninew originally wanted Only Friends to be set in an acting class while Jojo pushed it to Business. and now??? Ninew gets to direct Only Friends: Dream On. HIS vision of only friends. It's mind boggling, for a queer person to live such a sweet life, training under a mentor, working towards and achieving their dreams I just dgaf if it's horrible I love OF: Dream On with all my being already.
I don't know if P'Golf will ever construct a story where they don't pretend that the villain is not the villain? Like they build such compelling narratives of conflict and intimacy and the intimacy to be found within conflict and then completely forget to set up the motivations of their antagonists (RIP Thua and Ter plywood beams supporting so much of the narrative's weight) but like I really dgaf the person who submitted Thailand's marriage equality bill, an act that changed the course of history can do whatever the fuck they want lol
I mean many such cases?? I didn't watch Last Twilight despite Aof being one of my favorite directors period is because I knew his protagonists tend to follow lakorn logic, he did it in ATOTS, DBK, MLC and even in Bad Buddy (random shooting my beloved <3), like idk if it's the shared enthusiasm for RPF or traditional asian narratives but I feel this man's vision on an atomic level and I knew from the trailer how that show was going to end and I didn't watch it because I know his artistic limitations. But then it suddenly became about how GMMTV hates disabled people. Like??? Not only did Aof Noppharnach present such a beautifully compelling and deeply celebratory representation of queer disability in MLC he named his queer disabled character Heart idk how to explain the shock I felt when faced with people's short term memory regarding this.
I'm not surprised that Nuchy is the one directing Burnout Syndrome, a three-way entanglement with gun atthaphan as the centerpoint. The exclusion of GramBlack, outside of its social reactions and implications, was a significant failing of her narrative. Gram was in fact in love with Black, that's what how it was in the original story from which Not Me was adapted and that's how it was in the show. To change who a character is in love with is changing the whole character which she simply hadn't done but she compromised her art against social pressures and like I don't have proof but im not surprised that the keys to Gun's Off Jumpol chastity belt was handed to Nuchy.
it's incredible, make your shitty pots my dears I'm here to witness it. we are nowhere near the peak for any of these people. Hayao Miyazaki was 47 when he directed My Neighbor Totoro. Jojo is only 40 years old that's a baby in artist years. They are pioneers in an entirely toddler of a genre, they have countless more life experience to collect and tonnes more stories to tell imperfectly and I am simply so happy to be here. I like to acknowledge GMMTVs hand in creating this reality.
I think one of the most incredible things about gmmtvs artistic direction *is* their dedication towards the commonplace the steady the familiar. Not only do they make boring gay shows (in addition to the exciting and interesting imo) but they do it consistently every single year. Every single year they make terrible shows and boring shows; shows you can put on in the background and promptly fall asleep during shows that I consistently forget exists or even aired (in addition to the great!).
Will PâGolf ever stick the landing in their shows? idk but they certainly will be directing till we find out đ Is New Siwaj on some quest to turn his low stakes college anthology style into like a degrassi or skins-esque staple? idk gonna find out during gmmtv2026. Which formative media for Jojo is going to become his next aesthetic centerpoint? Idk but we gonna find out. Will Aof Nopparnach ever stop directing like he wished he was making lakorns instead? maybe if itâs RPF but idk we gotta find out.
Like??? I am following pioneer creators on their creative journey *as* theyâre taking it. Iâm watching them fumble and pirouette as they sculpt their pieces; flaws and all.
man what an incredible place for queer media to be and what good luck to be experiencing it when I am
#I was so busy yesterday I couldn't elaborate#I was not expecting this to leave my circle of circus goers#who are long used to the way I talk#people were confused lol#nani's hot takes
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For a request how about a fluffy winterhawk doing shopping to refill their first aid kit? I imagine between the two of them it sees a lot of use.
The pair walk at a leisurely pace in the 24 hour CVS.
There's a number of odd characters, including themselves, but that's what they get for shopping at 2 am. There's the goth cashier, a man in an oddly tall cowboy hat, a couple of teenagers messing around in the chip section, and of course the two Avengers with blooming bruises from the fight they just finished. Which is really not their fault. I mean, who does crime after midnight? Bad people, probably.
"Wanna get some ice cream?" Clint asks while tossing some frozen peas into the basket Bucky is carrying.
"I don't think we'll have enough room."
"Come on man, one Ben & Jerry's isn't gonna break the bank."
"One, really? For both of us? You threw a spoon at my head last time I poked in your pint. I just wanted to try the flavour."
Clint thinks on that.
"Hm, you're right, you're right. We'll do a wrap around at the end and I'll just carry it."
They leave the icy doors and head straight for the first aid aisle. They spot the gauze and bandages first, taking a moment to analyze the different brands, sizes, and types, before Clint takes an arm to the shelf and swipes the entire thing into their basket. Bucky nods approvingly before speaking up.
"This is your fault y'know, you procrastinate."
Clint scoffs, "I'll have you know it was your week to do the shopping."
"The first aid kit's been empty since last week, when you sprained your wrist. Remember when you tried using a compression sock as a wrap. Also, you're bleeding on the flyers."
Clint looks down at the paper. That indeed is his blood. Another drop falls from his nose onto the shelf, "oop, my bad." He grabs Bucky's sweatshirt and uses the corner to wipe up the blood.
Bucky rolls his eyes and grabs a box of band-aids off the next shelf.
"Just for that I'm getting you the hello kitty ones," Bucky pulls out an evil looking purple bunny and then tosses the box into the basket.
He peels it open and places the bandage with care over the bridge of the archer's nose.
"Joke's on you, Kuromi fits my colour scheme."
Bucky stares at him blankly for a moment.
"I speak 7 languages and yet I still manage to not understand you in your native one, which is honestly more impressive."
"Why thank you," Clint gives a cocksure smile.
They move along, tossing in some medical tape, 4 types of pain meds in giant bulk containers, and heat packs.
Bucky picks up a bottle of rubbing alcohol.
"Woah man, that stuff isn't right for you anymore. It's all about good ol' soap and water now. Don't you keep up with medical news?"
"No, and I doubt you do." he says with a raised brow.
"Okay fine, Bruce told me, but still."
While Bucky doesn't trust anything Clint finds online, he does trust Bruce Banner, so he puts the bottle down.
"Vaseline's in the beauty aisle, brb."
Clint jogs around the corner and Bucky calls out to his back, "stop saying abbreviations out loud!"
Bucky continues wandering on his own, collecting a few random things into the quickly filling basket.
"Incoming!" Bucky doesn't even react as a jar of Vaseline and some tweezers come flying over the shelving and land perfectly on the pile.
Bucky isn't even in his original spot anymore, how didânope, not going there. If he asks, he'll just get told "because I'm fucking Hawkeye," with that stupid charming smirk that secretly gives him cuteness aggression.
Bucky Barnes does not get cuteness aggression.
He turns around the corner the same time Clint steps back in front of him.
"Hiya, did you miss me?"
"No," Bucky says, placing a little kiss on Clint's lips.
"Aw, you totally did." Clint fists Bucky's top and pulls him in for another kiss.
The man goes easily, melting into the familiar taste of copper and the sting in his lip from where someone hit him in the face with the butt of their rifle. The stubble is an even more familiar roughness, closer to a tickle. Clint pulls back with a salacious pop, bringing his thumb up to wipe away the spare saliva in the corner of Bucky's mouth.
They hear a strong tone of throat clearing nearby, looking up to see cowboy hat staring at them in disgust with a cart full of dog food.
"Evening sir," Clint waves, then gives a little tip of his imaginary hat. The man just shakes his head then needs moving.
"C'mon, get your ice cream and lets go."
Clint acquiesces, reluctantly pulling away from Bucky's warmth.
After getting the promised ice cream they head straight for the self checkout. The last time they went to a cashier-only pharmacy to restock their first aid they got stared at like they were planning on cutting up the cashier and selling her kidneys (the sewing kit really didn't help), so dumping the pile of gauze away from the employees prying eyes saves them from talking to the cops.
The receipt takes ages to print, Clint grabbing more and more of it like a magician pulling scarves from a hat.
"Babe, will you tie me up with the CVS receipt and do dirty, dirty things to me later?"
Bucky huffs out a laugh and pushes at the other's shoulder, "shut up freak."
Cowboy hat decides to pull up to a nearby checkout just at that very moment, freezing and sending the pair a look like he's personally casting them to the depths of hell.
Clint turns to him, a mischievous smirk that could mean nothing good.
"Sir, would you tie me up with this CVS receipt andâ"
Bucky clamps a hand over the man's lips and forcibly drags him out of the building.
#winterhawk#bucky barnes#clint barton#marvel#marvel ficlet#ficlet#hawkguy#ask#anon#im super swamped with school rn but im thinking about the other asks and will get to them on the weekend!#this one was fun to write :D
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Hello, I hope you're having a wonderful day! My name is Marlowe/Atari! I come to you to expose another neo-nazi in the community. His name is Paul, and his goes by @dertotalenkrieg on Tumblr.
Now, why am I saying this now? Well, I noticed that this user was in the same reichblr server as I was. As I was scrolling through the Neo-Nazi Community under the reichblr, I noticed that Paul posted there.
Content Warnings for Nazi Imagery and Holocaust Denial in the Screenshots
Before anyone says, "This wasn't supposed to be taken seriously/this is out of context." Counterpoint, the implication of the post's caption is that Paul had to obtain this from Telegram. It also implies that he has experience with the platform and its neo-nazi communities contained within.
And this isn't a one-note incident either. I looked through Joseph's likes and saw these posts.
Obviously there are more posts that aren't shown in the screenshots that are noteworthy. The only one I can remember is one that was about cutting a swastika on one's skin.
What initially set off alarm bells was this guy's Discord profile;
I immediately detected the dog whistles within this user's profile. The SS's, the extraterrestrial imagery referencing neo-nazi pseudoscience, and the quote are obvious signs that this person is serious about this.
I deliberated on doing this since I didn't want to be the bringer of bad news, and the fact that this could possibly be traced back to me. I'm hesitant on associating my blog with this community (even though I'm a part of it.) and getting called a Nazi (despite this entire ask pointing to the contrary). I know you guys don't like Nazis, and I'm not gonna call you bad people for having unconventional interests.
The obvious way of avoiding any nazis joining this community is looking for dog whistles, that's your best method of exiling them quicker from your community.
Also, if you're gonna refer to me in your post, my pronouns are they/them + co/cos.
Thank you for reading my ask!
Hi, first of all sorry it took me a bit to respond, I had some busy things going on in real life.
Secondly ew, that's fucking nasty. I wasn't aware that this community existed (I never really looked much into the communities feature in general), but that's just gross and shouldn't have a platform. Immediate report, I don't know if this will just result in (hopefully) the deletion of the community, or if it will also have an effect on the people who are members of it, but as it is public to everyone here's a free block list I guess:
Formerly, I didn't take a direct issue with this dertotalenkrieg guy personally, maybe I'm also confusing him with someone else but at least a few months ago I reckon he posted just historical photos and fairly "normal" reichblr stuff. Never really interacted with him as Goebbels isn't really a focus in my interests, and since a while I had him blocked anyway because he definitely did get weirder (and I just didn't want to see him anymore). I first noticed when he commented on my post to defend that other neo nazi, which should have been a clearer sign to me, however, I always had a hard time telling if he was ever genuine about something or if his entire account was just one big shitpost (personally I also don't believe in the whole reincarnation stuff, at least not in the way that he claims it to be, so the way he behaved about that might also be another reason why I couldn't really take him serious).
However this of course changes that, I never thought of looking through the guy's likes (I frankly didn't even notice that he had them public), but the things he engages with plus obviously the fact that he is a member in that neo nazi community makes it pretty obvious (that photo he posted there has literally nothing to do with historical interest). I kind of wonder now if him believing that he's the real Goebbels is what made him become a nazi (because he thought he had to replicate his "former self" or whatever) or vice versa that him being a neo nazi made him at some point think that he's one of the actual historical nazis. Regardless, he should not have a place here anymore. Thank you for letting me/us know!
#reichblr#also had to go on these people's profiles to block them and bro I think most if not all of them are literal teenagersđ
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Good dreams are a double-edged sword.
On one hand I love them. They're good dreams.
On the other hand they're not happening and then I wake up and feel sad.
#not fr#dreams#I had a dream that I had a secret admirer who wasn't actually secret.#Like she acted like I knew her in her notes n stuff and sent me cream puffs dipped in like a delicious strawberry chocolate coating#But I couldn't for the life of me remember her because like... I'm bad at remembering folks#Her name was Robyn and hell she did some good baking#She sent me such sweet notes and little gifts as well#My friends in the dream knew her too! I just couldn't remember who she was#Because I REALLY am bad at remembering people#But like damn#I want some delicious desserts baked for me and for someone to send me notes telling me they love me#I want to be loved
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Because I am a CHUMP and a FOOL I went and watched the short after I finished your video. It brought up a lot of memories from my youth. As some of your commenters noted, Amberlynn is a stereotype from the aughts, not from the 20s. I saw jokes like Amberlynn all over the place when I was a teen. I remember the fandom and the fangirls who inspired the Amberlynn jokes. Let me tell you about the world--well, the US--that the real-life Amberlynns grew up in.
This is the era of abstinence-only education. Purity balls are in the news, and Disney Channel pop stars are wearing purity rings. When Amberlynn is a teenager, her teachers tells her that people who have pre-marital sex are like chewed-up gum. When she turns on the TV, she hears Miley Cyrus announcing that True Love Waits. If her family goes to church, she may have been issued a promise ring. Amberlynn is a nerdy girl; she may be reading fantasy/sci-fi novels with smutty content, like I did when I was a teen. And she may have to hide those novels from her parents, like my friends did, or else they'll get taken away--she's too young for that filth.
But there's this wonderful new thing called the Internet. It opens up all kinds of amazing doors. Amberlynn has been composing adventures about her favorite characters in her head for years, and now she learns--she's not the only one! There's this whole site, fanfiction.net, where people post all the adventures they composed for their fandoms. Some of it--gulp!--is pornographic. And there's this thing called a "blog"--it's sort of like an anonymous online diary. Amberlynn can post whatever she likes, and no one will know it's her! Best of all, her parents have no idea what she's getting up to on the computer. They're probably not Internet literate. If Amberlynn is careful, they'll never find out about all the filthy, disgusting smut she's reading and writing, they'll never know all the fucked up, angsty thoughts that she lets out on her Livejournal.
And all that filthy, disgusting smut that she's writing...well, there's kind of a running theme. Whether het or slash, the top is always a dominant, sexually aggressive man forcing his attentions on a shy, innocent, submissive bottom (either woman or uke). The bottom always cries and struggles and insists that they totally don't want to have sex, but when the top keep harassing them, they slowly give up the fight. They can't help themselves, it just feels too good to be kissed, felt up, penetrated. Pretty fucked up, right? Why on earth would anyone write such problematic, rape-excusing shit?
I want you to go back and reread my second paragraph, and I want you to think about what that does to a teenage girl. What it's like to be told that having sex is like being chewed up and thrown away like gum, to hear pop stars on TV tell you that "not everyone, guy or girl, wants to be a slut!" You're looking at the boys around you and you're wondering what it would be like to touch and be touched, and everything around you tells you those desires are Wrong and Bad and Slutty. That's what Amberlynn is going through right now. Good Girls don't have sex. Good Girls don't even want sex. But hey...if a really hot guy forced really good sex on you...well...it's not your fault, right? Not even if you enjoyed it.
Amberlynn isn't the first girl to unconsciously follow this line of thought. This shit predates the Internet by centuries. I'm dead serious, you can find Regency romance novels that follow the same formula. Dubcon/noncon gives women who have been raised in repressive environments an excuse to enjoy sexual fantasies without feeling shitty about their natural urges. A lack of agency means a lack of guilt.
Now, the Internet offers Amberlynn a degree of freedom to express herself that she may not have felt beforehand. But it isn't 100% free. Early on in her geeky Internet journey, Amberlynn is going to learn that not all geeks are created equal. There's a hierarchy.
See, geeks in the aughts really REALLY want everyone to know that they're Not Like Other Geeks. Society hadn't atomized into a million little niches yet; there was much greater pressure to conform to "normal." Geeks weren't "normal." And the way we handled that was to cannibalize our own.
One of the best ways to demonstrate normality is to find an even weirder person and mock them for their normality. So that's what we did. I say "we" because I definitely participated. I laughed at all the furry jokes. I sneered at the OCs and the self-inserts. I'm guessing Vivziepop did, too. We were geek kids learning how to be geek adults, and our only model was, well, The Geek Hierarchy. And it was really, really important to reaffirm our normality because, deep down inside, we knew we were at the bottom of the hierarchy.
Geek girls are abnormal. Geek girls are intruders into male spaces. Geek girls write fanfiction (ew!) about boys kissing (EW!), and they obsess over hot male characters (EW EW EW!!). It's normal for (straight!) dudes to thirst over sexy female leads, to draw dirty fanart, or to even write their favorite male character kicking ass and getting allllll the pussy in 50-chapter sagas that everyone praises. But a woman doing the same to male characters? Or worse, writing them as a f****t? Disgusting.
(I'm sticking to the cishet perspective here because that was my experience, but TRUST ME, there were queer issues a-plenty. Not a few of the Amberlynns of my era were using fic spaces to figure out their sexualities and/or gender identities. I don't think I can describe those experiences, but I want you to know they were happening.)
So if you're a geek girl in the aughts, you never, ever, ever talk about your fic to anyone outside your fanfic circle. You definitely don't discuss dirty fic, or self-inserts, or slash. You never talk about your ships, you never crack certain jokes, you never give people your Livejournal (or Tumblr, or AO3, or...). And when other nerds mock those FREAKS and WEIRDOS obsessing too much over their smutty headcanons and ships and whatnot, you nod and smile. You comply with the Geek Hierarchy.
Amberlynn doesn't comply. Amberlynn chooses violence.
By the time we meet Amberlynn in her twenties, she has long since abandoned any pretense of normality. She proudly wears her fandom merch. She covers her walls in monsterfucker posters. She has the gall to watch pornography. And--gasp!--she has kinky, gross fantasies, and she wants to be desired. She is every stereotype of gross girl geeks piled into one character.
Are we going to discuss how geek girls have used fandom spaces to explore their sexualities for decades? Are we going to discuss how purity culture has impacted those explorations? Are we even going to bring up how so, so many people who have issues with organized religion will latch onto Hell/paganism/magic/whatever their childhood faith told them was Bad? No. Amberlynn has grievously violated the Geek Hierarchy. She needs to be punished. She needs to be made an example of what not to do.
I may be swinging a bat at a hornet's nest here but comparing the Weeaboo-boo short to literally any Hunter: The Parenting episode, especially Boy Story or any episode with Grimal in it, really makes the difference clear. That short sucked so much ass, mostly due to mean-spirited misogyny.
#helluva boss#amberlyn pinkle#geek hierarchy#I still have baggage over this#I still have hang ups over SIs and OCs#Or how couples interact with each other in a fic#I assume Vivziepop does too#I don't think this episode would exist otherwise#and I get it#shit's ingrained#but we shouldn't pass our generation's hangups onto the next
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You know what? People shouldn't feel bad about liking things in fandom, or creating things that make them happy. I'm absolutely vagueposting, but this really isn't about one post, it's about a tone I've noticed popping up again lately from multiple people (including people I follow and generally respect!)
-"They absolutely cannot fuck! So crazy people would think about that and be into it, it would break canon! "
-"Mod AU doesn't work, they're Serious Characters they aren't gonna run a coffee shop its OOC! "
-"Actually, fun fluffy fic about them at all during a certain era doesn't work!"
I get it. I agree with a fair part of it. People post all kinds of asinine shit that I hate actually. But you know where I bitch about it? Privately in group chat.
Let people fucking have fun. I get the sense that many people come to this fandom specifically because it's Serious and Challenging and you want to Do Serious Analysis. I think a lot of folks around these parts either are in school and not having a good time about it, or wish that they had gone into better academia that doesn't really exist, and they're getting that need met here. And that's great! For real!
But you know what else is fine? People who either don't have that need, or are getting it met in other parts of their lives, and come here for stress relief and a fun free hobby.
Of course they can't fuck for real! It's not in the text, they simply don't. But the tension is obviously written in, and playing with possibilities can be fun! Also if you can't see how it could happen and still not fix shit, that's a skill issue. Fic authors aren't stupid, we don't fail to understand canon, but not everything has to be everything all the time. Sometimes you want to do all the work and try to match the level of writing in the show, and sometimes you want to have something nice and easy. The show is REALLY well written and what it needs to be, the point of transformative works is playing with what it's NOT. Some people cope with fluff, or good ending everybody lives AUs, and it might be so totally valid to look down on that, but maybe being publicly correct might be less important than being kind?
Actually, the main thing I want to say is that if YOU reading this are a person who wants to write a cute coffeeshop AU, or be horny on main about your boys kissing, it's actually fine!! At least, it historically has been fine. This is a really small fandom now and not that many people are actively creating, please don't be discouraged by this stuff, because the people who criticize on tumblr are actually not the majority. The REASON they criticize is that, if you go to AO3 and sort by kudos, much of it is this super sweet OOC stuff! It looks like that's most of what there is, because a lot of readers in the wild who watch the show and look up fic like it!
Anyway. Let people have fun, it doesn't cost you anything, and not every thought needs to be public. It actually does discourage people.
#not ME lol i cannot be discouraged I am unstoppable#i'm not really even defending myself here at all believe it or not#like i do a specific thing and its not everybody's cup of tea but its generally not what's being complained about#anyway i know you're just stating your own opinion and what works and doesn't work for you and that's your right#i just think there are other ways to make the same points that don't make people feel bad about their fun relaxation thing#part of this is a cultural/generational difference about fandom I'm sure#i'm being a defensive den mom because I remember when fandom was supposed to be weird and silly and it was nice#(thank you kinkmeme that is the antidote to this mindset in some ways)#(i'm about to reveal/post my other thing later and its gonna be a hilarious followup to this in context)#again its not that anybody is wrong just there is room for all of the things maybe?#black sails#silverflint#i'm also gonna reblog this in a few minutes with some of my favorite just AWFUL did not fix ANYTHING fics#that i think would meet anybody's criteria of matching canon#just for funsies
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#my little brother is engaged :/#donât know if any of you remember me posting about the whole situation like 8 months ago but i feel soo weird#and sad because i want to b happy for him but heâs six yrs older than her and sheâs 19..#or i guess twenty now maybe whatever i feel so aggh. and he moved to a different country so i just feel like iâm never gonna see him again#like i knew this was coming theyâre both super religious so i was like yeah theyâre going to want to get married and have kids fast but.#it just feels crazy. i know thatâs selfish but i have such a bad gut feeling about it that i canât shake#but i canât do anything about it so. idk. i just feel so lonely when things like this happen because i don't have anyone outside of the#family bubble to talk to about it. and obviously everyone else is like super happy for them. and it's not that i don't like her! i just#don't really? know her? at all which feels weird because we are a very close sibling group and i feel like i know & get on with my other#siblings' partners. i think it's partly like i just don't ever hang around people who are under twenty so she feels really young to me#which isn't her fault obviously but. do feel kind of scared for her getting married at twenty so she can start having babies.... idk idk#and obviously on top of that it's my younger brother so it does feel a little salt in the wound that he's moving on with his life and i am#counting it a win these days if i don't want to kms every three minutes#god it just sucks lol and i can't talk about it 2 anyone so i am venting here
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If you can't handle me at my Willem x Rom you don't deserve me at my Yurie x Rom. đ
#shitposting#personal#I am still bitter at that long term mutual who blocked me over willem x rom hcs post tbh ffhgkjv#and then vagueblogged about how fromsoft fans are such weirdos they want to-#-delete their from fanart so it isn't touched by us lol#why do you get into a fandom for media with dark topics and get baffled at dark content?#status imbalance and discomfort of manipulation is not even the worst thing these guys do#sir they kill mothers to abort and sacrifice their infants in this setting!#but teacher who is a bad person getting crazy over a student who 'actually listens' is worse?#sigh.....#additionally bitter because I LOVED their art and got excited over it#like if my mutual posted hcs that make me uncomfy I'd just unfollow or ask them to tag#again I am only overreacting because fromsoft games ARE horror#and full of bad people#but it isn't the first time someone is upset at really fucked up shit?#like remember the guy who told people that ship sulyvahn and aldrich while using-#-gwyndolin's corpse to 'explode'?#maam sulyvahn made a princess he usurped into a sex slave in this game!#these games have scary shit! maybe 'weirdos' are target audience!#fandomry rambles
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#I remember a few years ago there was one artist that really liked Gil and they were constantly drawing him and talking about him#and one day I saw a message from them that Gil started to make them anxious and feel terrible#because of the whole thing in the fandom that revolves around his character and stuff like that#and they've gone tired of him and stopped liking him and moved to other fandom#and at that moment I felt really sad because I loved how they were drawing Gil#and the fact that they stopped liking him their own reasons just made me feel bad as well#and a few years later I understand that person because whenever I see a certain toxic ship and people that are shipping them#just makes me hate myself and him#because I feel like a total hypocrite for liking such terrible character#and I don't know what to do with that feeling because I really don't want to hate Gilgamesh because he means a lot to me#he helped me to get through a lot of tough times and I know that he's much more than this toxic douchebag#and that I love him not because of that trait but still...#like I could've chosen some other character as my fave#someone like Link or Vash or Ichigo from Bleach but no... I've chosen this golden prick...#maybe I am just as fucked up in the head as those people who into *that* toxic relationship...#personal
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im making a wedding guest list in order to. uh. destress. from work anxiety. (we are not officially engaged yet in that we are waiting for our rings to arrive sometime this month and also do not even a little have a wedding date and have not figured out a budget yet. so it's a very stupid exercise. but. i can do whatever i want)
anyway im beginning to worry that i only have two friends? i suppose it's actually good because that will cost less but possibly i have some kind of disease or condition
#how many friends are you supposed to have#friend i guess being a term here for. person it would feel fucked up to not try to have at your wedding.#normally i don't worry about this because i have a rich and active social life online and at work and also at knitting#but if i invite my labmates i maybe need to invite the whole lab??#so i have to figure that out#i don't really feel like any of my knitting friends are wedding friends. like i like them a lot but we aren't There#and for the most part i have no idea how to gauge the intimacy level of internet friends. sorry to say that to your collective faces#but you can recognize that it's a weird problem i hope esp since i am BAD AT DMING and mostly just dont do it.#reading each others diaries for 12 years etc etc.#irl i have.... my best friend from kindergarten who is a family member. to me.#and my college roommate hi jack <3 <3 <3#and maybe 5 other people from college. one of whom may still be living in australia whenever this happens#i really shouldn't be concerned about this we have five billion cousins and Family Friends between us. and đž has many friends#due to their superior and highly lovable nature.#but like. what if i forgot about a lifelong friend i care for deeply and don't remember they exist in time to invite them. it could happen.#box opener
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IM SO SICK OF PEDOPHILE MORI DEBATES
GUYS HES NOT REAL. THE PEOPLE SAYING HES NOT ARENT BAD PEOPLE FOR THEORISING. THE PEOPLE WHO SAY HE IS ARENT BAD PEOPLE FOR NOT THEORISING
#if mori is actually revealed to be 100% one or the other#I WONT CARE.#am i on the hes not side? YES. because i see evidence pointed in that direction#same with people saying its disrespectful to the author... like guys they also made mori a mafia boss that kills people#the also made dazai a guy who constantly trying to kill himself and koyo and kyouka women#like its fine. this is for fun. STOP MAKING THE DEBATE SO BAD OMG#if that never gets confirmed then i dont really care#using elise as evidence is like using my own right hand as evidence#guys remember how her whole thing is that shes conpletely controlled by mori?#i witerawwy want one day where i dont have this debate#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd mori#ougai mori#mori ougai
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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