#Batshit barty

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Uncle Bee and uncle Evy with baby luna- a canon interaction Barty: Okay Luna, there are 206 bones in the body, but! I’m gonna teach you how to dislocated someone’s body in 230 ways-

Pandora: Barty, She’s a child

Luna:

Barty: Oh yeah! You’re right.

*turns around for a few moments before turning back with puppets over his hands*

Barty, in somewhat a kermit voice: Hi kids! We're going to show you how to dislocate someone's body! Let's start with the Clavicle region. Do you know where that is?

Pandora: Oh my god

———*after a while*———

Evan: Wait what did you teach her?

Barty: There are 206 bones in the human body...

Evan: Barty! She is a CHILD!

Evan: If you are fighting an opponent your age Luna, there may be up to 270 bones in the human body. Children's bones ares still fusing together. Here is how you can use that....

[doomedtokill]

a study of the human body

Test Subject : Barty Crouch Jr

Findings : inconclusive- more documentation required

irregular heartbeat, underdeveloped brain with excess activity in certain areas, abdominal area is permanently damaged likely as a result of abuse, unexplained scaring on left shoulder blade…more testing required

Report By Dr Rosier

[g3othermal3scapism]

pandareg bestfriendism will save you btw

[hailstorm1816]

I love how the Marauders Fandom made both Evan and Barty batshit crazy but in opposite ways.

[valeriearmani1]

evan hunting down barty crouch senior, drugging him & taking him down to an operation table

only to blindfold barty, take him down to the room and reveal the surprise waiting for him, barty waiting for his dad to wake up groggily just as he grabs a scalpel and slowly begins to peel his fathers skin back, evan supplying enough potions to keep him alive so barty can have as much fun torturing him as he wants

‘happy birthday, b’

[elmodoescrimes]

Holy shit.

Holy motherloving shit on a horse high on tic-tacs.

The marauders era folks playing Dn'D.

THE MARAUDERS PLAYING FUCKING DND!!!

I want to see that.

[cairsns]

what do we think about rosekiller making horcruxes out of each other?

[serenisastar]

I’m in the midst of writing a serial killer pandalily au (it probably won’t be published until I’m nearly done with my current WIP) how many of you guys would read that?

[crimsonlovebartylus]

blood kink ~

but regulus licking the blood off barty fingers one by one after murdering one of the victims, with barty still wearing his ghost face mask.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Obsessed with the idea of Slytherin Skittles true crime podcast that is just them reading over real crimes and pointing out each of the criminal’s mistakes.

once, someone repeatedly sent them hate comments saying they could never do better causing Batshit Barty and the gang to go “Bet”

A week later, A newly freed child abuser who didn’t serve his time was found dead with the exact same MO they said in the latest episode of the podcast with none of the mistakes they pointed out. No one could prove they did it yet everyone knew.

The podcast continued as usual.

[doomedtokill]

i think i'm batshit crazy, or maybe you're just stupid

barty in his own world

[drowninginthoughts27]

Snippet Tag Game <3

Thank you for the tag @messymoony

When they’d first met, even in her entirely inebriated state, she had carried herself with an unmatched poise. One that screamed power from a mile away. But Barty knew he carried himself the same way so he wasn’t too alarmed by that, brushing it off as a mere similarity between the two. And as she made quip after clever quip in his direction, challenging every other word he said with little hesitation despite the slight way she slurred her words, Barty had a sinking suspicion deep in his gut. A sixth sense reminding him of the world he’d turned his back to and left behind.

Np tags: @velanavis @lilyflxwers @prongsfish @spacexcowgirl @regscupid @magswrite @angel-daydreams and anyone else who wants to participate :)

[arlowthenacho]

ugh i love writing crazy people

[spiritstar477]

barty is ocd and gets terrible and violent intrusive thoughts of both things he should do and things that could happen if he does/doesnt doesn’t do ____ thing, but since he’s crazy, he just does/says what the intrusive thoughts want and vibes in the thoughts of all the things that could happen.

[sunattacksthemoon]

im a wolfstar person to my very core and I find it very difficult to get into different ships but rosekiller?? I was obsessed immediately

Here they are at last! The aunts the scrunklies the absolutely crazy psychopathic men🤲

[unstable-cucumber]

headcanon that Barty has the most illegible batshit crazy handwriting ever

Regulus: *finds a sticky note stuck to Barty’s bed*

Regulus: Evan I think your boyfriend had a seizure

Evan: *concerned* what- how does a sticky note that says *insert whatever it says bc I can’t think of anything here* indicate he had a seizure??

Regulus: YOU CAN READ THAT??

Evan: YOU CAN’T??