#Batdad is here

[fanaticalthings]

Jason being the easiest kid is super funny. Bruce looking at Jason and remembering Dick at 18: “we can work through this. He’ll come around if I don’t give up on.”

Bruce, watching over a freshly street-snatched Jason: Why is he so calm

Having Dick as the rambunctious, feral, and unhinged first child must've given him SO much whiplash once Jason entered the picture. Lil guy just vibed in his own world. Just reading books and doing schoolwork. Baby Jason hurt nobody.

Bruce will just be going over the ground rules of the manor, remembering all the chaos Dick brought upon the household.

Bruce: No swinging from the chandelier.

Jason: ?? I wasn't planning to?

Bruce: No murder.

Jason: What? That never even crossed my mind-

Bruce: And please, for the love of God, don't sneak out and try to beat up the nearest criminal on our block

Jason:

Jason: WHO is responsible for these rules being created??

Bruce will just come home from a long day of work. He's tired and just wants a nice, quiet evening, but he's subconsciously psyching himself up to prepare himself for the chaos he'll witness once he enters the manor

but then Jason's just quietly doing his own thing, maybe even helping Alfred with some chores, reading, or just lounging about in the manor. In general, just causing no trouble and Bruce just turns to Alfred, all worried like, "Is he sick? I don't think children are supposed to behave this way."

[starry-bi-sky]

i think i'm hilarious -- aka i made blood blossom danny au memes

all of these come from my DpxDC prompt "i am pushing the batdad agenda--" and it's corresponding additions in the reblogs ksdjlf.

i am. rotating them in my head. forever and always. personally i think there should be more batdad aus in dpxdc, their dynamic could be neat. :)

[ghost-bxrd]

Some days I wake up, and I think I’m drowning. And just before I wake up, looking up at the distant surface while there’s something (someone?) dragging me down I find myself thinking… it’s rather peaceful, down here.

Obviously, I know that drowning isn’t nearly as relaxing, but it’s not like I can help what I dream about. And I think I’d prefer that over the impersonal way [REDACTED] would handle… well, anyway.

It’s been a week without any sightings of the pod. A week since I destroyed most of the logs.… and shamefully hid the rest.

Sometimes I want to burn this whole facility to the ground. But then I remember— that I can’t.

[REDACTED] still hasn’t told [REDACTED] about what I’ve done. I wonder what he’s waiting for.

File Notes:

Personal file, recovered from the sunken remains of the [REDACTED] research facility. Researcher: [REDACTED], status: deceased

[seilnakyle]

Bruce and Selina with Dick and Barbara’s daughter, Mary Grayson II in Batman: Dark Age #6

[waynescapes]

do you ever just think about the batkids and for all their anger and frustration at bruce, he's still a dad who 'works' insane hours? so just imagine them cussing him out in their heads only to stop themselves before walking into the dining room because they see him eating dinner. alone.

[mysterythief]

Single dad who can’t stop adopting kids has become one of my favorite troops.

[littlefankingdom]

~ World's Finest: Batman and Superman

Bruce lost his battle against Dick's puppy dog's eyes and accepted to bring him to Paradise Island. The Amazons asked only two men, which is already too much for them, to come, and Bruce just didn't have the guts to say "no" to his boy, so now, there's one more.

[bruciemilf]

Factually, I know Bruce is a bad cook. In my wonderland brain, however, he's a baker in some Hell's Kitchen-esque neighborhood, both flourishing and festering down the Narrow's ribs.

Curiously, The Bat seems particularly focused on protecting this joint. And whoever walks in it.

The classic myth of food is that it brings people together; That's the one thing everyone, under the greyscale rainbow in Gotham, has in common. Everyone has to eat, and everyone has to die.

And all kinds of people walk in there.

You get thieves with watchful, observant eyes nemorizing the concise, expert movement of your fingers and wonder how these machines of pain and violance can be delicate enough for sweets.

"I know what you are. I know who you are."

"I'm not exactly hiding. "

" I'm gonna rob you now."

" Take some tuna for Iris while you're at it,"

You get jesters with runny make-up and busted lips and a heartbroken hope in their eyes, crying over their fried ice cream,

" I'm stupid. I know -- I know what he's doing to me. And my mom's voice is just pounding in my ear, every fuckin' day, ' You're letting him, Harley. You're letting him and you deserve it. You should've married that fucking doctor. At least he didn't hit you, he just yelled and screamed and called you nasty names.'

Bruce drizzles some extra rainbow sprinkles on her ice cream. " And that voice is wrong." And he'll keep saying that voice is wrong till the day Harley doesn't like ice cream anymore. And that day doesn't exist.

And slowly, you learn not to be impressed. When you live with wolves, you sharpen your teeth. Dogs do what dogs do; they eat. An angry dog is a hungry dog.

And this boy, with a red scarf over his nose, waving a gun in Bruce's face, is looking plenty angry.

"Just fucking stay there, okay?" He'd probably sound more threatening without the glass tremble in his voice. "I'm just gonna take some cash, and,--"

Bruce's calm is frosty; He's got experience with guns being pointed at his face. " Your safety's on. "

Teal eyes are glossy, shining with feral, living fear, like it's Bruce who has him cornered, backed up to a wall and looming death over him. there's no kids in crime alley.

Whatever they are, they can't afford that title. But he looks exactly how boys in crime alley look; Young and scared and haunted.

"What's your name, honey?"

"...Jason."

" Are you hungry, Jason?"

The way he wolfs down three plates with tears running down his cheek answers Bruce plenty.

"You can have the cash, " I don't really need it, goes unspoken. It already feels slimy enough to take it. The charities and well- filled cups of homeless people don't ease that. "I'm guessing you need it."

"It's for my dad," 'Dad' drips from Jason's lips like liquid hatred, " He told me to rob you cause you never call the cops."

" Calling criminals to stop other criminals seems a little counter-productive, " He needs to do something with his hands; Or he'll take Jason and hug him and drag him to the manor, where Alfred can prepare the fluffiest bed, and the warmest bath. So he's packing him something extra, to take at home.

Still. Hearing Jason laugh makes it worth it.

" You can say you got dinner, too."

" I'm not giving Willis shit, " Willis. One of Harvey's guns. They need a chat about working hazards. " Gonna take this to Dickie and Timmy, thought. Dick's gonna love this..."

And Jason, Bruce comes to find out, doesn't know himself half as good as he knows his siblings.

He learns Timmy, the baby brother, loves to skate, and he's the reason they go to the ER every other Thursday. He learns Dick can never run out of energy; Learns he's running on spite alone and they can't go a day without fighting.

And when Bruce is fighting Nightwing, the newest villain in Gotham, he learns both he and Dick can land the meanest Produnova recorded.

[violent138]

For bonus points kindly reblog/comment with how they explained that shit to Alfred/Gordon/general circumstances

[foxxywolf]

Dick wears feminine for the first time and loves it. He's comfortable and feels pretty but is then bullied for it. He dresses like those Instagram girlies with the miniskirts and platforms.

In retaliation to the bullying Dick experienced, Bruce starts wearings heels and dresses, he discovers he love being as tall as Diana and Clark and the skirt is super comfortable. He dresses like a business woman but at formal parties he looks like the villainess that seduces men with a look in those long silky dresses with the slit on the side, at regular parties he's that bad bitch that'll cut you if you stare too long, with family he'll wear a sundress or cute little mom clothes.

Kids at Jason's school make fun of the way his dad and brother dresses and he puts on one of the girls school uniform to beat them up in. He likes it and wears it whenever it's too hot but still puts on feminine clothes. Kid Jason wore cute little skirts, with a blouse and a cardigan and pumps. Adult Jason are those scary gothic punk girls in the leather and collars.

Tim HATES wearing pants. It's restrictive and uncomfortable, and the material is too rough so while at home when his parents were away he wore no pants or super baggy sweatpants when going out. Alfred thought, 'No grandchild of mine will wear such clothing.' And introduced him to the Wayne family stylist who helped him wear clothes he's more comfortable in. His fashion now consist of skirts, dresses and tights. He's got a mix of skater vibes(baggy sweater and cycling shorts), prep(basically kid Jason but with heels and a blazer) and nerd (merch with whatever skirt/ tights matches)

Damian thought this is something you do to be part of the family and put on a skirt, he found out fast that liked how long flowy skirts twirled with his movement when he kicks. Dick told him he doesn't have to follow with the family to be comfortable but he continued to do it anyway because he felt pretty when wearing his skirts. He wears those flowy skirts and a turtle neck. Or he has this preppy goth look that is mostly prep.

Duke didn't understand why they dressed like that until he got curious and put on a dress and was like damn I look hot and understood why they like dressing feminine. He tends to wear a more masculine but colourful clothing style. But when wearing a skirt, he thinks the knee lengths with the slits on the side looks good on him.

They all still wear more masculine styled clothes but that's the type of feminine clothes they wear. They mostly dress feminine because feminine clothes have more material and styles

[starry-bi-sky]

'Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings' doodles, because Pathetic Wet Cat Danny is the best Danny to practice drawing young faces with (and expressions).

[ghost-bxrd]

“poltergeist”

The quality is atrocious here 🥲 A few close ups. Let me know if you wanna read all the articles >.<

Big thanks to @cyrwrites for suggesting the missing poster and the Superboy part!

And of course a thank you to everyone else who suggested article topics, I stuck to more serious stuff this time but some of your comments really cracked me up it was great 💚✨

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO YES

honestly how funny would Batman comics involving Resurrected!Jason have  been if they had actually acknowledged all the ridiculous and stupid things that happened after he died.

like imagine it going the exact same way with Jason coming back from the dead and going on a rampage but instead it ended up like:

Jason: WHY DIDN’T YOU KILL THE JOKER AFTER HE KILLED ME??? THIS IS PROOF YOU NEVER LOVED ME REALLY I KNEW IT>:(

Bruce: oh no I totally tried to kill the Joker in revenge for your death, he was just involved with Iran for some reason at the time so it was weird

Jason: Involved with…Iran.

Bruce: yeah idk why it was odd and pretty racist. Anyway I DID eventually go after him but then Superman showed up and stopped me even though he didn’t have any real stake in any of it?

Jason: huh well okay. I can’t be mad at Superman.

Bruce: what you can’t? But you can be mad at ME?

Jason: Yeah it’s a proud Robin tradition. anyway finish your story what happened next.

Bruce: Okay, well it looked like l’d indirectly killed the Joker despite all that, so I felt vaguely content for a while? but then he just came back again so it was clear to me this was all pointless and he would never stay dead even if I did kill him? I mean does anyone in this weird world of ours? Look at you. 

Jason: okay I guess I’m not upset about that anymore then but why did you then immediately make another kid Robin, pretty hurtful..

Bruce: no see this boy literally stalked me and I was all “leave me alone kid I’m going on a suicidal rampage now” so he just made himself Robin and made this big speech about how Robin is important to my mythos and also my mental health…

Jason:nice this kid sounds like a nerd I wanna meet him now so i can noogie him and shove him into a locker.

Bruce: I’m going to assume you mean that affectionately and congratulate myself on diffusing this situation. Great parenting, me. 

Joker, still tied up: so i guess everyone’s forgotten I’m here? that’s fine

[bruciemilf]

Fantasy Justice League AU: Bruce is a half-Elven prince who chooses mortality over eternal life.

"But why," Thomas is never, ever quiet; His voice is booming, and usually cheerful, and wonderfully loud. He's not like Mama or like Alfred, whom Bruce inherited soft spoken power from. That's why they work. " You could live forever. With us."

"I know," Bruce is soft and steadfast both; Clark once complimented him about that, painting Bruce's cheeks red.

Right now, holding four little mortal boys, prey to an awful war, cradling what's left of their scrawny, famished bodies, Bruce doesn't feel powerful. He feels shamed. " But I want to die for them."

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Imagine the batkids fuck up major and a batdad had to step in and clean up their mistake

Everyone kinda embarrassed because of their blunder and Jason is lashing out to protect himself from shame

Dick is joining is cause well he feels bad about it being his idea

Now Tim is arguing too

Damian wants to feel involved and u can’t convince me other wise

Bruce is trying ti make a point about safety thats just fully derailed

Anyway Danny as Fenton is just there in the background around all the bad guys he took out before Bruce actually got there like “awkward” but the moment he tries to just tippytoe his way out Bruce turns to point at him “and don’t think you are getting out of this. Your grounded too”

He just freezes. Can batman do that? Is he legally allowed to do that? Wait what does Batman mean by grounded?!!? Whats his move here.

“Everyone in the batmobile we will discuss this more in the morning”

Oh ok thats his move. Ok yea Batman just grounded him. He better go.

So they r having the ride home and everyone is sulking and Danny is just there confused but doesn’t say anything because hes probably tired and it’s batman wtf you gonna do.

So they are at the cave and Danny finally just “so can I call my family to tell them I wont be home tonight?”

You everyone just stops. And slowly turns to face him. “Ah yea dumb question. I guess uhhh no phones huh?” No one moves. Everyone is pretty shocked. Cause one bruce kidnapped some kid. Two theres a civi in the batcave. Three bruce kidnapped some fucking kid. Four some random kid just got in the car with them. Five holy fuck bruce kidnapped some kid.

Breaks over enjoy post

[zhelin-thames]

Hi! I absolutely adore your stories!! 💖💖💖💖 I don't know if you are taking requests (idk if this counts as one or not) but could you possibly make a part 2 of Tiny Baby Ghost?? It was so funny and cute!!

Heres part 2. I'm open for any requests, including different crossovers(ill only write them if i know the shows tho).

read part 1, part 3 is also out

Danny floated out of Pariah’s hand with a sigh, brushing green ectoplasm off his suit. “Okay, everyone just… chill for two seconds. No smiting, no world-ending threats, no awkward death stares.” He turned to Pariah and Fright Knight. “Dad, Sir Glowstick, I’ve got this.”

Pariah scowled but crossed his massive arms, radiating reluctance. Fright Knight gave a sharp, reluctant nod, fading back into the shadows. Pariah, however, loomed protectively behind Danny like a vengeful thundercloud, making the Batkids visibly tense.

Danny turned to Constantine, his hands on his hips. “Alright, magic man, what’s the ‘big emergency’? Why’d you summon me, specifically?”

Constantine, cigarette now burned down to the filter, pinched the bridge of his nose. “We’re dealing with a dimensional tear. Nasty bit of magic, ancient stuff. Needs a Ghost King’s touch to fix it before it swallows half the world.”

Danny raised an eyebrow. “A tear? Like, between dimensions?”

“Yes,” Superman answered, his voice calm. “It’s growing larger every hour. We believed the Ghost King would be the only one capable of sealing it.”

Danny groaned, dragging his hands down his face. “I’m not the Ghost King. I’m not even remotely qualified for this. Did you not read the fine print on your summoning ritual?”

“You were summoned by name,” Wonder Woman pointed out. “Surely there is a reason the ritual chose you.”

“Yeah, the reason is: the universe loves torturing me,” Danny muttered. He began pacing, muttering under his breath. “Okay, think… dimensional tear, ghost powers… I’ve done that before, sorta…”

Jason, leaning against a table with his arms crossed, snorted. “So, what, Casper? You’re just gonna wing it?”

Danny stopped pacing and glared at him. “Do you have a better idea, Red Hood? What’re you gonna do, shoot the dimensional tear?”

“Couldn’t hurt to try,” Jason shot back, smirking. “Who knows, maybe the bullet’s haunted.”

“Is he always like this?” Danny asked, gesturing at Jason.

“Yes,” Damian said flatly. “And he’s right—your incompetence hardly inspires confidence.”

“Okay, first of all,” Danny snapped, pointing at Damian, “I’m not incompetent. Second, you’re one to talk, kid ninja.”

Damian bristled, stepping forward. “Do you truly believe you could intimidate me, ghost child?”

Danny blinked, then smirked. “Oh, I don’t need to intimidate you.” He snapped his fingers, and his ectoplasmic energy surged, making Damian’s cape float dramatically behind him. The youngest Wayne’s eyes widened before he quickly turned to look at his cape, trying to snatch it down.

Jason doubled over laughing. “That’s perfect! Oh man, I think I like you, kid.”

“Enough,” Batman growled, cutting through the banter. “If you know how to fix the dimensional tear, we need to act now.”

Danny sighed. “Fine. I’ll try something. But no promises this works, because I am not the king.”

“You keep saying that,” Nightwing said, tilting his head. “If you’re not the king, why does the summoning work for you?”

Danny hesitated, glancing over his shoulder at Pariah, who was watching silently, his expression unreadable. “Because technically…” Danny rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m… uh… kinda the ‘heir.’ Sorta. By accident.”

Jason whistled. “You’re the heir to the Ghost King? That’s hilarious.”

“It’s not hilarious!” Danny snapped, throwing his hands in the air. “It’s a massive headache!”

“You have no idea how hard it is to get through high school when random cults keep summoning you to fix their magical problems!” Danny continued. “And now I’ve got Batdad over here grilling me like I’m some supervillain, and Red Riding Hood cracking jokes, and Damian ‘Stabby McSword’ Wayne calling me incompetent! I’m doing my best, okay?”

Jason tried and failed to suppress a laugh at “Stabby McSword,” while Damian’s scowl deepened.

Danny huffed, spinning back to Constantine. “Where’s this tear? Show me, and I’ll try to patch it up. But I’m not promising anything. And when this is over, you’re sending me back home. I’ve got a chem test tomorrow.”

Constantine muttered something about “teenagers” and gestured, summoning a glowing portal. “This way, then.”

Later, at the dimensional tear:

The tear was massive, swirling with chaotic energy that sent Danny’s ectoplasm buzzing uncomfortably. He floated closer, squinting at it. “Oh yeah, this is bad. Super bad. But… I think I can close it. Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Batman asked, his voice sharp.

“Well, unless someone else here has experience closing portals between dimensions,” Danny shot back, “I’m your best shot.”

Damian stepped forward, his expression skeptical. “And if you fail?”

“Then we all die,” Danny said bluntly. “So how about you zip it and let me work, okay, Junior Ninja?”

Jason snickered in the background. “Man, I hope he sticks around. This is the most fun I’ve had in weeks.”

Danny ignored the bickering Batkids, focusing his energy. With a deep breath, he reached out toward the tear, letting his ghost core resonate with the chaotic energy. The others watched in tense silence as ectoplasmic tendrils extended from his hands, wrapping around the edges of the tear.

“It’s… working,” Constantine muttered, his eyes wide.

Danny gritted his teeth, sweat forming on his brow as the tear began to shrink. “Just… a little more…”

With one final surge of energy, the tear sealed shut, leaving behind only a faint green shimmer. Danny staggered back, panting. “There. Done. Crisis averted.”

Superman smiled. “You did well, Danny.”

Danny waved him off. “Yeah, yeah. Just don’t call me again unless it’s an actual emergency. I’ve got enough stress in my life.”

Damian stepped forward, arms crossed. “You were adequate. Barely.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Gee, thanks, mini-Batman.”

Jason clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re alright, kid. If you ever want to ditch Ghost Dad and hang out, give me a call.”

“Pass,” Danny said dryly, rubbing his temple. “I think one Jason Todd is enough for the multiverse.”