#Bart: guess we’re Santa now

[trashmakerarticle]

So did everyone agree that YJ killed Santa? As if he wasn’t hit by an asteroid?

Bart: guys look a shooting star!

Kon: i don’t think that’s a shooting star…?

Cissie: that’s fucking Santa.

*santa gets hit by asteroid*

Tim: well not anymore

Greta: did we just kill Santa?

Cassie: we just killed freaking Santa.

[ethelphantom]

Form A Family Of Our Own

Just silliness and fluff and lots of romance and attempts at humour here, and absolutely no angst. You’re welcome! It’s a continuation to the Timari Soulmates Secret Santa I created for @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry, though I’m just skipping things in the chronological order (aka the BartAdrien reveal but we all knew that was going to happen so it’s fine. This is also my Maribat March day 9, Sleepover at the same time. Have fun!

Ao3 | Part 1 | Part 2

This is Maribat -- don’t like; don’t read

_____________________

“Does everyone have everything they need? No one needs to use Mari to use the puppy eyes to get Dick to go to the store?”

Marinette laughed at Tim’s words while the others shook their heads. They had checked they had everything at least thrice already, it wasn’t going to change no matter how many times he wanted them to make sure of it. When Tim still didn’t look convinced, Marinette simply grabbed his wrist and stroked the skin with her thumb to help him calm down, just like he sometimes did for her.

After all, touching your soulmate’s mark would always be a comforting feeling.

Tim’s shoulders slumped a little as he relaxed before he turned to her and smiled gently. Marinette recognised this as a silent thank you, and so she beamed in response.

“Are we ready to ruin everyone else’s day now?” Conner then asked, leaning against the doorframe. He seemed to be trying to look relaxed and not in the least excited for this, but they all knew better, considering he seemed to be itching to go do just that.

“Oh yeah. I’ve got the cameras and the scavenger lists. Two teams of three, soulmates in the opposite—” Cassie began, but after she got the puppy face from both Bart and Adrien, she sighed in resignation. “Fine, soulmates in the same team. This is why I’m not supposed to look at either of them while giving orders. Damn it.”

Tim rolled his eyes. All of their friends were idiots (“Like you aren’t as well,” an accusing voice said in his head, and it was a bit concerning how much it sounded like Marinette), but they were also the best — Tim wouldn’t change them for the world.

“I love how the rule is supposed to be ‘no metas in Gotham’, but we’re getting like three metas and two that technically count as metas because Miraculous coming anyway to the home of the one that actually originally set said rule in place,” Adrien mused, remembering what he’d been told at some point after the reveal. And after they had already met Cassie.

Marinette let out an amused laugh. “Oh yeah. Anyway. Could someone please get our bags to the Manor so we can just start with the scavenger hunt?”

“On it!”

There was a flash as all their bags, Conner and Bart disappeared and Cassie took out a clock. She watched it tick for a few seconds before she lifted her gaze again to find her missing friends. “You’re slow. It took you two nearly ten seconds. We’re not even outside the city boundaries, boys.”

“Well, fuck you too, we were carrying five bags each because some of us don’t know how to pack small.”

Cassie simply flipped Conner off before she handed him a scavenger list. “You wanna be with Tim and Mari or Bart and Adrien? I’m fine with either one, just decide fast.”

“Bart. And Adrien, I guess.”

“HEY! ”

Idiots, the lot of them.

It didn’t take them long to sort out into teams and get to the centre of the city. Mari, Tim and Cassie stood on one side, looking down at the people that were all a lot taller than them. Mari cocked her hips and tilted her head, her dark blue sundress following the movement.

“Oh, you’re going down, Chaton.”

“I don’t think so, Buginette — I’m not sacrificing my win even if I’d sacrifice my life for you.”

“Okay, too far too soon, go away.”

Their lists were as followed:

Ask a cashier for the nutritional value of an inedible thing

Act like a stranger were famous and ask for their autograph

+1 if you can get them to take a picture with you

Offer a stranger a penny for their thoughts

Ask a stranger to sign your petition against the euthanasia of rabid puppies

+1 if you can get them to sign your palm

Lie in the grass next to a road and pretend to be making snow angels

Ask the opposite gender if they believe in fate

Ask a stranger where the closest local Christmas festival is

+1 if/when they say they don’t know, ask them how else do they appease the gods

Ask if you can get a discount on a thing that costs less than a dollar

+1 if you pronounce it horribly wrong

+1 if you buy the product with pennies

Ask a stranger if they have seen your cat and proceed to describe a full-grown tiger

Knock on someone’s door and sing them a Christmas song

+1 if the person is a stranger

+1 if you sing Frozen’s Let It Go after you’ve said you’re going to sing a Christmas song

Fake a cheesy proposal in a public place

Ask a cashier if dentists recommend using a toothbrush

Ask a cashier if they have healthy cigarettes

+1 if they say no, you yell “you’re lying” and run away dramatically

Ask a stranger if they can see anyone and point to an empty spot

“You’ve got two hours. The clock starts now,” Tim announced, set an alarm in their group chat so everyone would hear, and then they were all running to get things done.

❋❋❋

“Alright, Bart, go on. You’re the first.”

“You’re not allowed to complain if you wanted to do the same thing, then.”

“Remember, if it involves talking with someone, you can’t be going on your own pace, especially not with a civilian! The camera won’t be able to catch it!”

“Well, your cameras suck!”

With a blink, Bart was standing in front of a door and knocked on it. Adrien, who was right behind Kon, had to contain his laughter somehow because he knew that to Bart whoever lived there was taking ages, even if it was less than a minute — and thus bearable — to him.  

When the door was finally opened, Bart immediately started speaking. “Hello, are you interested in hearing Christmas carols?”

“...In the middle of the summer?”

“I know what I said.”

“Uh, no thank you. Have a nice day.”

Bart returned to them pouting. “They didn’t even give me a chance. I’m not that horrible of a singer,” he huffed, crossing his arms.

Adrien took Bart’s hand in his own and pressed a light kiss on his fingers. “Don’t worry, we still have plenty of time, and I doubt it was because of your singing voice. It’s just a weird thing to ask this time of the year. Try again.”

He did. Fortunately for Bart, the next-door neighbour opened their door much faster than the previous one.

“Hiya, are you interested in hearing Christmas carols?”

“Now?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I guess. Sure, go ahead.”

And then Bart proceeded to sing Let It Go off-key. The person listening to him even applauded his singing and gave him a candy (that Kon forced him to throw away or at least not eat until Tim could do a check up on it in case someone was trying to poison him or something. The Bat paranoia was getting to all of them.) It was fun.

“So, three points for us. That was a great start, Bart!” Adrien said, checking the boxes on the list. “You did film it, right Kon?”

“Obviously. I wouldn’t accidentally not. Hold the camera, Adrien. We’re going to a shop now and annoy the heck out of everyone. Tim is so not going to be happy when he realises some of us might get banned from the shop forever,” he snickered.

“I’m already feeling sorry for the employees.”

“At least we aren’t about to be assholes, really.”

“No, just weird as hell. Maybe they’ll get a story or two to tell others and discuss in the break room when they’re talking about the weirdest and worst customers they’ve had.”

“Do they really do that?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Damn.”

It didn’t take them too long to arrive at the store. Adrien and Bart went in first, pretending to be actually considering buying something when Kon came in and looked around for a moment. Then he walked to an unsuspecting employee. “Excuse me, do you have any of those clairvoyance foes? I was thinking of getting one.”

“I must ask you to repeat what you asked for, sir, I’m afraid I didn’t quite catch it,” the woman working said.

“It’s alright. I meant classical woes.”

“I’m so sorry, sir, I must say I don’t understand what exactly you mean by that.”

“Clarification folds, miss.”

“Oh, do you perhaps mean classification folders?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said.”

“...Of course, sir. Yes, we do have those. Do you want me to show you where they are, or would you like me to just point you in the correct direction, sir?”

“If you could show me where they are, that would be great.”

“Of course, sir. This way.”

The woman led him through the shop as Kon glanced behind himself and saw Adrien following them from a safe distance. Bart looked like he was practically vibrating, like he wanted to do something, but all he could do was jerking aborted movements. Actually, scratch that, he probably was vibrating. Of course.

“Here they are. Is there anything else I could help you with?”

“Is it possible to get a discount on these?”

“I— I’m afraid not, sir, but they’re only a dollar so…”

“That’s fine. Thank you for your help anyway.”

“It was no problem.”

Once the woman was gone, Adrien and Bart walked to him. “Oh my kwami, I pity her so much. I’m genuinely sorry she had to deal with you and I’m kind of considering going to find her and give her a tip for dealing with you,” Adrien snorted after he cut off the filming. “I don’t even care that’s not a custom in stores, I still want to do it.”

Bart laughed. “I’m gonna go do just that if you give me some money.”

Adrien did. He gave him twenty dollars. He could almost feel Wayzz shaking his head at the two of them even despite the fact Wayzz was with Marinette at the very moment.

“I hope you’re ready to keep recording cuz I ain’t done yet,” Kon said, earning an eye roll from Adrien.

“Sure. Let’s do this.”

Adrien kept his distance while they were walking to the checkout, Bart appearing next to him at some point. Adrien bumped his shoulder against Bart’s to express he knew he was there, the act soon returned. A smile made its way to his lips. They only started paying attention to what Kon was doing when they heard him speaking to the cashier.

“Excuse me, mister, but what is the nutritional value of this thing?”

“I’m sorry to inform you, but folders aren’t edible.”

“I am aware. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have nutritional value.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what it is, sir. I’d only be able to find out if they had given me a list, but unfortunately, they did not.”

“Oh, alright. Well, I’d like to purchase it anyway.”

“That makes one dollar.”

“Sure, wait a second.”

Kon pulled out his wallet and went through his money, counting it silently and quickly. Then he offered the cashier a handful of coins — all of them pennies. The disbelieving face on the cashier’s face, as he started counting, was miserable and a little sad to see, but no helping it now. Thankfully the product only cost a dollar, it didn’t take him that long to do it.

After paying, he went back to the end of the line, waited it, and asked the same person if they had healthy cigarettes. The cashier looked rather resigned at that point but stayed polite and told him that no, they didn’t have those because those didn’t really exist, and “are you sure you’re old enough in the first place?”

Kon gasped loudly. “You’re lying!” he yelled and ran dramatically out. The other customers didn’t even pay attention to him as if it was just another day. It probably was. This was Gotham, after all. Bart and Adrien made their way out behind him, slipping a twenty-dollar bill to the man behind the checkout and quickly apologised he had to deal with that, “please accept this.”

Then they were out and laughing, even if still feeling bad for doing it.

“Mari would kill me if she had to see that, honestly. She used to do this at their bakery and god, the stories she sometimes tells me,” Adrien said, shaking his head. “I hope that paying for them for suffering because of us was good enough. I don’t really know what else I could have done to compensate for having to deal with us.”

“No one does!” Bart told him before he snatched the camera from him. “Go on, your turn, Sunflower!”

The nickname was kind of fitting — blond hair and being a bit taller than Bart tended to do that. Adrien blushed a little at the pet name and then forced himself to get his thoughts back on the trail.

He buried his head in his hands before taking a look at the list. Then he grinned, getting a wonderful idea. Hopefully, he wouldn’t hurt anyone by doing it. If he was lucky (for once, considering he was the Bad Luck incarnated), he would end up finding someone who would ake it more as a joke.

Stopping someone who didn’t look like she was in any hurry, Adrien asked, “Excuse me, but do you believe in fate?”

“Yeah, I guess. Why?” she responded. Adrien visibly slumped in relief.

“Oh thank god.”

“...What is it.”

“My soulmate and I were just arguing about it a second ago and I needed a new opinion. Now I can tell him he’s very very wrong, and that we clearly belong together ”

The girl looked at him like he was a ghost. For a second, Adrien was afraid he’d hurt her feelings and was ready to apologise, but then she burst out laughing and doubled over.

“Oh my god. That’s wonderful and so hilarious! God, I was afraid you were about to flirt with me, dude, but that’s so much better. I wish you and your soulmate the best of luck. Buy him his favourite food, maybe he’ll then accept that you’re meant to be,” she said smiling and winked. Then she punched him lightly in the arm. “Go on, dude, your perfect happy ending is waiting for you!”

Adrien could feel a wide smile spread on his face. “Thanks, I will! You go get your happy ending as well, whether you’ll find it in a passion, person or a pet!” They exchanged numbers and names (her name was Zoanne, and Adrien had a feeling they’d become good friends over time), both excited about it, and parted in good spirits. Adrien waved to her as he walked to where Bart was staring at them.

Once he actually paid attention to how both Conner and Bart looked like (staring at him, Conner not even focusing on the camera), he tilted his head and arched his eyebrow. “What is it?”

“Dude.”

“What?”

“Duuuudde.”

“What?”

“Only you. Only you could make a friend while doing a scavenger hunt task and basically also pranking her. Wow.”

Adrien just shrugged. He wondered how the girls and Tim were doing.

❋❋❋

Tim was the only one of them who still had any sense of shame or embarrassment at this point (and they’d already completed most of the points on the list between the two young women), but he was determined to win and actually do something for the win as well so he wouldn’t be able to care. Soon enough, he was walking up to a stranger as Marinette was filming.

“Excuse me, miss, but have you seen my cat? She’s a sweetheart and I lost her when I was out with my friends.”

“Oh, you have a cat? I’m sorry, I don’t think so, but what does she look like? I could try to pay attention in hopes to see her later.”

“She’s a beautiful orange with white in her face, chest, belly and the underside of her tail, she’s about this tall,” he put his hand at about his waist, “and she’s got a lot of black stripes. Also, she’s a bit loud when she decides she wants to talk, but it’s not that bad.”

The woman backed off slowly as he was talking with a concerned look on her face. She was gone before Tim finished talking.

Marinette shook her head fondly and placed the camera in Tim’s hands as he returned. “Have fun trying not to laugh behind the camera!”

She wondered around like she was looking for something worriedly. When someone came to ask her what was wrong, she internally congratulated herself.

“Well, Monsieur, I was looking for the nearest local Christmas festival. Do you know where one might be?” she asked, looking innocently at him. “I really do need to find one, preferably close.”

“In July? Yeah, I don’t think I know where one would be at this time of the year.”

Marinette adopted a horrified expression on her face. “But— But— How do you appease the gods you might have angered, then?”

“The what?”

“The gods, obviously.”

“What gods?”

“Those,” she said and pointed behind the man. When the man turned around, he was greeted by the violet eyes of the fox god of mischief and trickery as well as the orange eyes of the pink tiger goddess of stealth and the brown eyes of the small but way too enthusiastic monkey god of jubilation. On any other occasion, she wouldn’t let civilians see kwamii, but this was an exception and she had Wayzz hide them from the view of every other person that didn’t know of their existence already, so it was fine. The most likely case was, the man would forget about meeting the kwamii or think of it as a hallucination of sorts later on.

When the man looked back to where Marinette had been, she was already gone. It was too much fun to mess with people a little bit. She knew the kwamii would be following her and perfectly capable of keeping themselves hidden when she told them so, so she didn’t worry about them.

Cassie snickered as Tim signed she was done filming. “That was amazing. I’ll go next!”

She walked to another stranger, Tim and Mari following her from a distance. Tim already had his camera recording. “Oh my god!” she gasped when she noticed a young person standing alone at the corner of a clothing shop. “It’s you! God, I never thought I’d meet you in real life!” When she ran to them and jumped a little as though she was excited, she also let out a squeal.

The person looked at her weirdly. “Excuse me? Have we met?”

“No, but now we have and it’s the most amazing thing! I’m such a huge fan. Can I please have your autograph? I want to show all my friends I met you!”

“Uhh…. Sure.”

Cassie handed them a piece of paper and a pen (which, where did she even get them?) and watched in anticipation as they wrote their name on it. Then she pulled out her phone. “Could I take a selfie with you? Please? I’m not going to put it all over the social media if you want to keep your whereabouts private, but I just want a picture.”

The person seemed to be already done with her, and probably guessed that this was the quickest way to get rid of her. They agreed and crouched a little to fit in the same picture easily. Cassie did a little peace sign, acting her role of an enthusiastic fan with all her heart. It took Tim and Mari their everything to keep from laughing.

When Cassie returned to them, flipping her hair, Tim handed her the camera. “Film this as closely as you can,” he said in passing and walked where there were as many people as possible, to the park nearby, Marinette and Cassie following in his wake. When Marinette was close enough, he made his way to her and swiped strands of hair behind her ear.

“Marinette, my dear, I love you more than anything in this world, you know that, right?” At Marinette’s slow but still a little confused nod, he continued. “I’ve thought about this long and hard, and I’ve decided I would like to take the next big step in our relationship,” he said loud enough for the people nearby to hear.  

“Every time I look in your eyes, I get a peaceful feeling. When I am around you, everything seems perfect. I promise that I will always be there for you in whatever you do and support you in ups and downs as long as I live. You give my life meaning and make it worth living. You’re the shoulder I can always trust to be there for me to lean on when I need it, you’re the one who I can always count on to be by my side. You were made for me, and I was made for you, and no matter what our souls are made of, mine and yours are the same.” Tim took a deep breath and looked at Marinette, whose eyes seemed to be glimmering as she bit her lip.

“In case you ever foolishly forget this one truth, let me declare it out loud for you, in front of all these people who are here to witness this: I am always thinking about you. I want to form a family of our own with you. Your words are written on my skin for the world to see who I belong to, a reminder for you should you ever doubt it. Feel free to doubt this world — doubt the stars are fire; Doubt that the Sun does move; doubt the truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love. I certainly have never had even a moment’s doubt of that. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life. You’re the answer to all those lonely prayers at night when I wished for someone to be there one day, and every day I thank God or Fate or whoever gave me you that you’re here now.”

By then Marinette was openly crying and she had covered her mouth with her hands, but Tim kept on going. He was not done, and he was determined to make this proposal the cheesiest he possibly could. As the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, people were bound to notice, and he only had one shot at it. “And I will love you against all odds in this world. Let me defy fate, let me defy stars. Let me defy everyone and anyone who may deny love, who may deny our love. Above all, you are my love, you are my stars, you’re my galaxy.” Tim lowered himself on the ground, now on one knee in front of his soulmate, his Marinette. He produced a ring box from his pocket and held it open for her. “So, as my best friend and the love of my life, will you be my one and only or my everything?”

“Are you— Is this for real?” Marinette whispered, tears glimmering on her eyelashes and staining her cheeks. Tim nodded, biting his lip. He knew it was one of the things on the scavenger list, so he hoped Marinette wouldn’t take this as only one of them.

Marinette swallowed and smiled brightly. “Yes!” she breathed out and fell on her knees next to Tim, not really caring if the action had her scrape her knees. Tim placed the ruby ring with a diamond halo on her ring finger and pressed a kiss on her fingers before Marinette lost her patience, cupped his face and kissed him on the lips.

When they broke apart, they could hear the cheering of the crowd. Tim looked to the side to Cassie who gave him a thumbs-up, the camera still in hand, probably recording as well. Bart, Conner, Adrien and the entire family, as well as Jagged and Penny, were all standing behind them. Thank god he’d half-planned this and told them to get themselves over there at a specific time and to stay behind Cassie so they wouldn’t bother or distract him.  

Adrien just ran to Marinette once they locked eyes and hugged her, congratulating her for the engagement. Bart slapped Tim’s back and did the same. When Tim got nothing from Conner, he raised his eyebrow because there was no way Conner stayed quiet about this without a very good reason.

“What is it.”

“Well. Technically, this can’t be counted as a point since you didn’t fake a proposal.”

“Fuck off.”

“You know I’m right.”

“Go away you overgrown toddler with too many leather jackets.”

“That’s such a creative insult you’ve got there, Timmy. Sounds like you had it memorised, even. How long have you been waiting for a time to use it?”

Tim just stuck out his tongue at Kon as Marinette and Cassie laughed at them.

Kwami, did Mari love her friends (and fiancé — she was never getting over being able to call him that.)

❋❋❋

“Alright. We gotta do something that is like, something people do at actual sleepovers,” Cassie announced as she flopped down on the mattress they had dragged into the biggest guestroom in the Manor they could find. The mattresses were all in a circle around their snacks so that it would be easy for them to talk and eat. Two of the mattresses were also bigger so Marinette could share with Tim and Bart could share his with Adrien. “I don’t know, like, trade secrets or gossip or… Oh, I know! Let’s play Never Have I Ever!”

The sly smirk on Cassie’s face did little to assure Mari or Tim this was a safe idea, but they were going to do it anyway, weren’t they.

“You did bring the shot glasses, didn’t you, Kon? Get them out, like, now. We gotta do this properly! And Adrien, you got the tequila, right? Please tell me it’s not flavoured.”

Adrien took out the bottles from his bag. “They are flavoured. Coconut, mango and chipotle.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

Marinette saw it as a good moment to butt in. “Yeah, that works. Tim, choose the flavour.” She looked at her beloved next to her, poking his side when he didn’t answer.

“Huh? Oh. Uh, mango?”

“Alright, we’re going with that then. Adrien, can you please open the bottle?”

He did, and the game began. To the surprise of exactly no one, Cassie was the one to start. “Never have I ever ‘cleaned up’ by piling everything into a closet or pushing everything under my bed.”

She smiled as Tim, Bart and Marinette reached for the bottle with various states of grumbling, filling their glasses and downing them.

This evening was definitely going to end with them drunk. The only reason some of them wouldn’t be was if they were simply damn tolerant, which was basically what all of them except for Tim were — Adrien and Marinette because of the long use of the miraculous, Cassie because she was half goddess and technically an Amazon, Bart simply because of his fast digestion (damned Speedster), and well. Kon was Kon.

This was not going to end well, now was it.

“Alright, I’ll go next. Never have I ever lied to a police officer,” Adrien said. Marinette looked at him like he was crazy before it turned sour as she reached out for the bottle once again at the same time as the rest of them did. “Wait, how have you all lied to a police officer?”

“Well, Kitty, it might be because half of the police officers were corrupt in Paris during Papillon's time of reign, and it was simply safer. That's one thing. A better question would be, how have you never lied to a police officer?”

Tim rested his head on Marinette’s shoulder as he explained his own reasoning. “Then there's the fact my brother happens to be a police officer. I've totally lied to him multiple times. Same with Commissioner Gordon at least once or twice.”

The rest of them nodded along. “Yup, lied to Nightwing, which means, lied to Police Officer Grayson. No regrets, 5/5, would recommend, he's too much of a mother hen sometimes,” Cassie stated.

It was probably good she stated it then and not a minute later, because only a moment after that, the door flew open and Jason marched in. Marinette and Tim buried their heads in their hands or the mattress, Adrien just shook his head, and the three others were staring at Jason like this was somehow that much of a surprise. A minute later, a mattress was pushed inside the room as well.

“Hey kids!” he yelled as he settled in and had Cassie, and Bart and Adrien move themselves away from one another so he could push his mattress between them.

“Jason, what are you doing here.”

The deadpan question shot at him was said in a tone with such an irritated undertone that Jason mock-winced.

“Well. Our dick of a brother—” Jason motioned at himself and Tim, “—sent me here to be a babysitter for a bunch of kids over the fragile age of 21.”

“Dick! ”

Dick looked inside from the door and immediately got thrown pillows at. He scrunched up his nose and looked at them with disappointment. That got him six disappointed eyes staring at him from around the room. “Well, you can’t actually blame me! There are two couples sleeping in the same room and oh my god also on the same mattresses and I am worried and concerned and this is my safety measure to make sure we get no babies after this night.”

“You do know Tim and I are getting married, right?”

“Precisely, you just made my point.”

“Besides, we wouldn’t do it in the same room with these guys anyway, and also Bart and Adrien can’t get children because neither has a womb?”

“Still.”

Marinette sighed. “Fine. As long as you stay away for the rest of the night. At least Jace could be fun. You, instead, are not fun when you’re trying to mother hen us at the same time.”

“Rude much.”

“Now go or I’ll throw you with Jace.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would, and I could, in the transformed form anyway. I’ve thrown Chaton across the city, don’t test me.”

Dick huffed and closed the door. Jason laughed at Marinette’s words and patted her head after reaching towards her a little bit, over all their snacks and food.

“So, whatcha doin’? Drinking games?”

“Yeah. Never have I ever. You in?”

“Am I in? Oh, definitely. You couldn’t stop me even if you tried.”

“Sounds like trouble. I’m already regretting letting him in.”

A chorus of “same” echoed around the room.

“Alright, so…” Kon looked around the room before his eyes landed on Tim and a smirk tugged on his lips. “Never have I ever sneaked out of my house in the middle of the night alone.”

Tim frowned and drank a new shot. Marinette sighed, elbowed Adrien and took the bottle from Tim’s hands.

“Okay, Pixie, explain. You, sneakin’ out of the house, let alone in the middle of the night? Impossible.”

“Nuh-uh. Need I remind you, Ladybug. Papillon hardly cared about our sleeping schedule. Had to sneak out at night multiple times to save the city. Same with Adrien.”

Adrien nodded, agreeing with her. “‘S not like we had a choice in the matter, it was our sleep or the safety and lives of over two million people. Ga-bitch didn’t leave us much of a choice.”

It was Tim’s turn to interrupt. “And how have you never sneaked out of the house in the middle of the night? You, Mr. ‘I do whatever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want, fuck Batman’?”

“Well, with B it was easier to sneak away when it was the middle of the day and he thought I was somewhere else, and in the Alley, it was safer to either stay inside or stay outside through the night, not both. Also, no house to sneak out of at one point.”

“Oof.”

“Never have I ever died,” Tim shot with a pointed look at his brother and his best friends. Yeah, he was still a little bitter even if it technically wasn’t their fault, so sue him.

“Low blow, dude,” Adrien said as he downed the glass. Marinette shuffled next to him and the next thing he saw was her stealing Adrien’s newly filled shot glass.

He was, least to say, shocked when he saw everyone take a shot, his fiancée included.

“Akumas. To be exact, Desperada and Time Breaker, at the very least. Probably some others too. He’s never been that good at not dying, and there was one time when he had to witness me die like, 25 thousand times.”

“25,913 times, Buginette.”

“Sorry, 25,913 times. He saw me die that many times, and I remember exactly none of them. He probably remembers most.”

“Holy shit.”

After everyone had had time to think over it and let the realisation that two out of their three sunshines had died god knows how many times and had had to witness one another die as many times sink in, Jason simply grabbed the chipotle vodka and took a few gulps. “I need more alcohol to deal with this” had been his explanation, and when he’d been told he’d die if he drank too much, no one realised the mistake until it was too late, because…

“Been there, done that.”

Cue them groaning and hiding their faces in their pillows all the while Jason just laughed.

“Okay, back to the game. Never have I ever been related to a supervillain.”

“Fuck you too Jason.”

Both Conner and Adrien took a shot as they glared at Jason, and Kon gave him the finger.

The rest of the game went in the same style. Everyone was flabbergasted at how many times both Adrien and Marinette had to drink. Those happened with, for example, Bart’s question of drinking before the age of 21 (“We grew up in France, he was a rich ass bitch, what else did you expect? Besides, legal drinking age is 18 there.”), Jay’s of whether someone had peeked at another person in the shower (“Well, I suppose it could be called that. Chaton pretended to be in the shower every time I came over during an Akuma that came for his or Gabritch’s head, nevermind the fact he always had clothes on. It’s not like I knew.”), Cassie’s “never have I ever fantasized about a real person” (“I mean, I was a teenager with a huge crush on Ladybug…” “Gross, Chaton, gross.” “Don’t try and deny having a crush on me as well.” “Well, fuck you too.” “I think I’ll leave that for your fiancé.” “Oh my god, Adrien.”) It just went on and on.

After a few hours of different things, such as hide and seek in the dark (it went as expected — Adrien won. Damn that night vision of his even in civilian form), truth and dare (they were all superheroes or vigilantes, there was hardly anything they wouldn’t say or do in relatively safe company, especially when they were at least tipsy), strip poker (this one Adrien lost because he couldn’t stop making puns, Bart came second last because he couldn’t keep a straight face (“Well, it’s not like anything else about me is straight either.”), which, to everyone’s surprise, Marinette won (“Whaatt? I had to get really creative and good at bluffing during school and Papillon, why is this so shocking to you all?”). They stopped when the next thing to go would’ve been someone’s underwear), and they were definitely glad to finally just lie down and rest.

Then Adrien’s phone went off. He surged out from under the covers and unlocked his phone. In the darkness of the room, the phone lit up his face rather well. He was smiling. Bart pushed the covers aside and sat up next to Adrien.

“Whatcha doing?”

“Texting to a friend.”

“Oh, is that your new friend? The one you met while scavenging?” Bart sounded excited and got closer to be able to see the messages. Adrien just placed his phone so that Bart could see them more easily.

“Yeah, it is.”

Marinette sat up as well. Smiling, she asked, “Oh, you made a friend while scavenging? That’s so wonderful, though only you, Kitty. Only you could manage to do that.”

“Kon said the same thing right after it.”

“Of course he did. What’s her name?”

“Zoanne.”

Beside Marinette, Tim went still and paled. He swallowed audibly and forced himself to look at Adrien. “Do you know her surname?”

“Yeah, it’s Wilkins. Why?”

Tim buried his face in Marinette’s knees and thighs, whining. “Oh god. Kill me now, please. Maybe borrow the Cat Miraculous to do it. Or Jason’s guns.”

“Why? What happened?”

“She’s my ex and I might’ve left her in rather an unfortunate situation.”

Adrien stared at him. Then frowned. Then honest to god scowled. “Are you fucking kidding me.”

“Oh my god, Adrien swore.”

“She’s dating again, by the way. Some girl named Ariana.”

“Please tell me you’re kidding me.”

“Nope.”

“Fuck.”

Marinette raised an eyebrow at him. “Let me guess. You also dated Ariana.”

“Yeah.”

An amused sigh fell of Marinette’s lips as she stroked Tim’s hair. “You’re hopeless.”

Tim scrunched up his nose. “No, I’m not.”

Marinette gave him a look.  

“Okay, yeah, I am. Please kill me now. I can’t have you two be friends with nearly all my exes.”

“What do you mean nearly all your exes?”

“Cassie and Steph, and considering Adrien is friends with Zoanne, you’ll probably be soon too, and I’m sure you’re going to call Ariana your friend soon enough as well.”

“You’re forgetting I’m also friends with Tam.”

“Fuck.”

Jason just snorted. “Fuck, Babybird, you’ve got a ton of exes, and your fiancée and her best friend are friends with like, all of them. Damn.”

“Shut up, Jay.”

The next morning, both Tim and Jason were hungover, and Adrien and Marinette could definitely feel themselves having drunk the night before.

They thanked the kwamii they didn’t need to suffer as many or horrible consequences for the drinking and bought and or baked a ton of food for Plagg and Tikki.

___________

@the-navistar-carol @caffeinetheory @jardimazul @captainartsypants @marinettepotterandplagg @kris-pines04 @thethirdwheelfriend @daminett4life @abrx2002 @persephonebutkore @rebecarojas07 @corabeth11 @freshbark @maribat-march2020 @catsandfanfic @fertileleaf @eat0crow @cutechip

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep 15: Yami Joins the Bay Area Tribe By Throwing a Riot About Sports on Caltrain

So as you’ve probably guessed because of my lack of posts--I got kinda busy with life stuff and just got hit with this really nasty flu at the same time. Yes, I am in a Coronavirus-affected area but no, I don’t have it and I am not dying (although I did do the right thing and quarantined myself anyway, much like a whole lot of the Bay who are just...working from home. Traffic’s been great.) It’s just that every January/February I tend to fall apart and get the flu so bad I lose my voice for 5 days. This year was 6 days. I just catch the flu a lot, but at least I get my shots so it’s not as bad as it would have been.

So, I took a hell ton of Nyquil and Dayquil and while I’m...functional...I don’t know if any of this make sense. So forgive my rambling. I usually ramble, today I’ll be like...hella rambling. About TRAINS.

So anyway, Lets talk about Yugioh.

Lets board a Californian train!

Yugioh has decided that out of every vehicle they’ve devoted episodes to--they haven’t done trains yet, so it’s train time. Train time...in America...which is not a great place for trains. Like I never really think about it but...people take the freakin Greyhound over trains. Which is wild, guys, the Greyhound is...it’s a state of mind. We ignore trains so much.

It’s just really funny that they left Japan to go to America to ride a train when it’s like...the show takes place...in Japan. The land of wonderful trains. But wtv, they wanted ye Old Western experience.

Anyway, Rebecca really wanted to go on the train with them, but everyone pretty much decided that children were no longer safe on this trip with Yugi and co. The fact that Yugi and co are also children is something I guess we decided to push under the rug. I mean Duke Devlin has a freakin job and a work Visa at 17 so...that’s adult enough, right?

(*in a very Roaring Camp Railroad Commercial voice, and over the dulcet sounds of a banjo* More TRAINS under the cut!)

And then Arthur decided to just really grill it into Yami for some reason.

I think it was mostly to act as a recap but damn, Arthur Hawkins just really seems to hate Yami for killing Yugi. Anyway, lets get a good look at our train.

Surprisingly for this show, they decided not to put us on the Roaring Camp Railroad through the Santa Cruz Mountains, instead, they put us on an actual legit commuter train, and it blew my mind because...it’s the CALTRAIN.

That’s my train! What’s my Caltrain doing in Yugioh!?!?

They even got the paint job right! This is absolutely the Caltrain!

We never update this train. So yes, it still looks like this over 10 years later. It’s very underfunded.

+++THIS IS TRAIN FACTS FEEL FREE TO SKIP TRAIN FACTS+++++

So the Caltrain was originally privately owned tracks--which is how they are really nicely laid out--a private company bought everything/pushed out the old owners before the place got developed. When trains went under, the tracks were purchased by the State and then given to Amtrack to manage. So, Caltrain is strictly property of the State Government but still run by the Federal Government at the same time. Don’t ask me how it works, I don’t know, I just pay my taxes and it goes vroom.

We’ve wanted to extend the Caltrain down to Southern California for a very long time, but because of corruption and a lot of people in politics refusing to expand the Bay out of the fear of maybe dropping our housing prices to reasonable limits, and the fear of making it way too feasible to get more children to Disneyland, the track has stayed roughly the same length for over 40 years.

Overall, It’s less drive time than this duel that takes up this next arc, I’m pretty sure. I’m gonna guess that the duel will be 3 episodes long because c’mon. This is Yugioh. It’s always 3 episodes long, like a Nintendo boss.

Anyway, all these train facts are things that are probably so weird and foreign to places that have ample trains--but in America, we just don’t have a strong train lobby compared to our auto lobby. So, I’m sure that people in Japan making this series thought “Oh they’re on a train--it can just go forever because why wouldn’t it be long? Aren’t all American trains connected?” but uh...it’s a short train. Like we’re talking like a few hours max, and that’s only if they’re starting from Gilroy.

I will say that BART is longer and has multiple tracks, so you would think they’d just take BART instead. But, it goes under the ocean for part of it, and we’ll get to why that would have been a very big problem in this episode later. Also, BART is very gross and no one wants to animate that outside of a horror movie.

But at least they didn’t go way out of left field and take the SF trolley. The Caltrain does actually go pretty fast. It...kind of makes sense. They did actual research into a real thing that we do have.

++++END RANT ABOUT THIS TRAIN AND HOW NONE OF THIS EPISODE MAKES SENSE BUT IT’S YUGIOH SO I WILL IGNORE THAT++++

And youknow...there’s something just so adorable about seeing desert mesas reflected in the window of the Caltrain. It’s just delightful. Because, in reality the entire stretch of the Caltrain is very densely suburban/urban, and the only place where it isn’t surrounded by city is when it’s flanked by the sea.

But yeah, just put mesas on it!

*freakin curtains*

Joey and Tristan hit the “dining car,” which I don’t think is a thing in any form of commuter train. These trains are for trips the length of about 1 extensive Puzzles and Dragons session on your phone, give or take.

(And man, speaking of, the Yugioh PAD collab was so good, guys. Ah man. Been wrecking like every dungeon in multiplayer ever since Bro and I both got a Yugi to put as our leader. He’s basically one of the best leaders in the game right now and I feel like people at PAD were huge Yugioh fans because they were like “what if we made...basically every Yugioh pull into a freakin beast that broke every dungeon in the game?”)

I can’t believe Joey Wheeler went thousands of miles from his homeland and was like “I better drink an American soda” and chose Orange. I mean he might be drinking an Arizona Tea, but I’m pretty sure he thought “ah, Kenan and Kel, right?” and just nabbed the nastiest soda that exists outside of grape.

I feel like I can still taste the orange soda I drank over 20 years ago. It is terrible. It is SO orange. Gross. But at the same time...good? I really don't know with Orange Soda. It’s probably gross.

Meanwhile, Tea decides it’s an appropriate time for Yami to work on his social skills. Now. When he’s visibly grieving after being berated by his Basically-Step-Grandfather and Rebecca.

And then we find out something I’ve never realized before, and it’s that Tea is really bad at social cues. Like maybe even worse than Yami. Like, I dunno how Pharaoh could look more like an angry cat/hedgehog but Tea was not picking up on it.

And y’all I’m not making that up, these are the topics Tea actually came up with for the guy who just saw his best friend die/was very implicit in said murder. Beaches and Bathing Suits.

She got over Yugi being dead like immediately.

Of course, this episode is kind of weird because, much like this show has done so many times already, these guys are still struggling to truly understand that Yugi is two people in one body. Tea sort of comes to this realization as if she...forgot that she has stepped inside his actual head and seen this for herself.

Or maybe it’s denial, but I’m thinking maybe the show did this for the new people coming to the show, to explain a rather complicated thing that took 3 seasons to cement in our minds. But still, it makes Tea seem very forgetful over a guy she should sort of be dating I guess.

Anyway it’s their first real fight. Kind of. I mean it’s hard to tell if anyone on this show is dating, and it’s equally hard to tell if they are fighting, too.

Well, first real fight if you don’t count Zero when Yugi tried to make out with Miho over a card duel, but I think we’re all doing our best to forget that ever happened. Yugi especially.

Or I guess that time she strangled him nearly to death in the nurse’s office when Shadi took over his body. That counts as a fight, right?

Ah. Now we’re on Caltrain.

Don’t take it the wrong way, Caltrain is actually our higher end safe train, compared to our other transit, BART, which will always sit you next to a weirdo, guaranteed. Caltrain--you can take a good nap on Caltrain. BART...you will never feel comfortable enough to take a nap on BART (also because there’s not enough seating room anymore)

But a lot of people who take the train are just freakin WEIRD. I used to take the Caltrain with my older brother (different bro than the bro of this blog, this is my chaotic neutral bro) because we both worked near the same place in downtown SF, and he would always take with him--I kid you not--a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Lightning for a snack.

For those not in the States, Mountain Lightning is the offbrand Walmart version of Mountain Dew. Yes. I know what I said. It seems dumbfounding as Mountain Dew is already an off brand of Sprite--the true lemon/lemon lime--but indeed, like Inception, you can always go deeper, and if there is a soda so bewildering and random, my older brother will be ON IT.

Anyways, my older bro is a train weirdo, so not only does he prefer Mountain Lightning to Mountain Dew, he would take out a 2 liter from his backpack, tilt back his head, and just chug the whole thing straight from the huge ass bottle in front of God and everyone on that train.

He’d polish it off completely on the ride there and the ride back, because my older brother has this weird medical problem where he can’t really feel pain and he has an insane metabolism and never gained weight until he was like 32, so he can just...chug as much soda as he freakin wants. So, at some point of the trip he would have to use the very tiny bathroom, and it would be very urgent, and he’d just scramble over me to get to the aisle and then kind of skip and hop all the way there on the rush hour train that was completely full of people.

Like, most people don’t even know that Caltrain has a bathroom--well now you know, and for several years there, it was just always taken by my brother violently pissing. That was us (well...him). My apologies.

In case your curious, now my bro has hardcore acid reflux, and all he needs to do is stop drinking so much damn soda, but it’s been very hard for him, so he has cut back to “diet soda”. This is still a lot of soda and it still causes acid reflux. His doctor is working on him.

And yes, Diet Mountain Lightning exists. That’s just so many steps removed from Sprite at this point.

Anyways, enough waxing long about train memories, lets get back to the show, because it’s not this season of Yugioh until there’s a problem with the commute.

Unrelated to Pharaoh punching the walls, everyone has “disappeared.”

My bro looked up the Wiki that says there's “no explanation for the missing train passengers” but we all know what that really means on this show, right?

So, how many people fit on Caltrain?

There’s just NO WAY they’re alive anymore, right? Like Yugioh went and killed 756 Bay Area passengers because...it’s a filler season!

I really feel like there’s just no way Seto or Bakura will ever catch up to Darts’ death count at this rate.

After this, we have ourselves this fun train-jumping trope.

Pretty sure it was the superhuman opposing force of Tea jumping from the back train to the front of the train that forced the back to lose all of it’s 100+ mph momentum and immediately come to a full and complete stop.

Not sure how Darts did this thing with the train separating. But he did. Or maybe it was Rex and Weevil? Either way, he somehow managed to do this well enough to strand Joey and Tristan on the other side of the line that now has no engine.

(course I say this like in 1400 AD the Bay wasn’t full of the Ohlone. this place was basically always developed because...the weather’s hella good when it’s not on fire.)

Now if you go East--southern Utah looks like this, and parts of me wonder if maybe the artists thought they were taking the train all the way to Florida. Did the English dub add “we’re taking the train to the airport” because they knew there was no one in their right mind in America who would take a California-Florida train?

I have no other explanation for why the Bay Area looks like this, than to assume that this is an alternate California where there never was a Loma Prieta Earthquake and also one where Seto and Pegasus bought out and destroyed both Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. Which makes Seto and Pegasus sound like just real true heroes, never paving any sort of way for Mark Zuckerberg to happen and unintentionally (or intentionally who knows) screw up our elections.

Or maybe that was entirely Darts? Maybe it was Darts who’s been eating up the Bay, harvesting nerd souls for the leviathan and knowing that no one will miss these Twitter developers if Twitter never happens in the first place. Especially if he’s just ghosting entire Caltrains willy nilly.

But anyway, fun fact about the Caltrain that the creators of this show didn’t know--the train is a push-pull train, so...It has an engine on both sides of the train. Joey and Tristan...still have an engine. It would have never stopped, even with Tea’s incredible backward momentum.

This is normal train stuff and is something you should always assume about a commuter train that cannot afford the time to reattach the locomotive in order to turn around, but we forget about this in TV shows basically all the time.

However, there are fantasy rules that we give to TV that we sort of don’t extend to other places. We suspend our disbelief for things like this train stopping in a track that would, realistically, have another train passing by in 10 minutes anyway. Things like rogue waves that topple over ocean liners. Or CEOs in Silicon Valley who have ass-length blue hair that is tied with one single hair precarious band.

The point at which we no longer can suspend our disbelief when it comes to TV is SO interesting to me. Because I’m fully willing to let go of the fact that Caltrain is A Push-Pull train because it’s still a fun trope although this can never really happen to you on...almost any train at all anymore. But if this were a movie? People would be losing their freakin MINDS. Look what they did after Star Wars. They lost their entire minds over force-field science that doesn’t even exist.

Like, maybe the people who made this episode really do know that San Jose is the 3rd largest city in California, and that this is a push-pull train, and that there are no mesas anywhere near the ocean of San Fransisco. Maybe they did know that--but they decided to suspend our disbelief by pushing this Wild Wild West fantasy aesthetic SO HARD so it makes it believable although this is just...so wrong. Mostly because...it’s fun TV. Not because it makes any sense, but because I would like to have fun instead of thinking.

Which is also how most romance novels work ps. But Yugioh, although *almost* understanding the key ingredient to how romance actually works, I will assume never figures that out.

I hope.

Also, Rex is here.

Bro would like to bring up that Red Eyes is not a rare card in the real world. So Rex is going out of his way to venge a card that costs...$4.50 at Target. That’s less than a meal at McDonalds. This card may have been in a Happy Meal at McDonalds.

*pictured here, the actual canyons of San Jose*

So something that’s interesting between Yami and Joey is that Yami gives in basically immediately and decides to duel Weevil, who would be very easy to just gently push off of this train. Joey on the other hand, looks down at both of his punching fists and is like “why would I bother?”

Not that it mattered, it’s just interesting that even Joey has more restraint than Yami, who has 0 restraint, apparently, when it comes to dueling cards.

Joey has more restraint that Yami, and Joey is the kid who has tried to punch out Seto Kaiba in nearly every conversation he has ever had with Seto Kaiba over the last 4 seasons.

Also, Tea is just standing on top of this train like it’s a completely normal day outside. Girl has no fear.

Wouldn’t these people be covered in bug guts? Like how are they not getting assaulted by so many flies and birds?

But because she has no decent cards the Oricalchos just kicks her out? I dunno. There’s a lot of weird physics in the next scene.

And she just grabs onto a moving train with her bare hands. I feel like Tea is just so woefully overpowered in this group but for the wrong game. I say this a lot. She’s like their One Punch Man but will never, ever know.

So anyway, that was a long time between updates and now I’m out of sync and behind on everything so...hell knows when the next update will be. Depends on the length of episode I guess? Bro really wants to get to what comes next soon though. He’ll pester me until I do it.

Now I can’t mention Mountain Lightning without sharing with you what you do with 2-4 liters of Mountain Lightning after your brother leaves and then just...doesn’t have enough room for all of his Mountain Lightning AND his baby in his car, so he just leaves it in your house.

It’s called Mountain Dew Cake <-(that is a link) and it’s actually pretty damn good.

I made this once and fed it to a British person and they were like “this is so decadent--what’s in this?” and I uh didn’t know how to respond to that other than “it’s really just Mountain Dew, I’m so sorry” and that was a lie, because it was full of Mountain Lightning.

Anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to read these recaps in order.

[eldritchsurveys]

1015.

5k Survey LXIX

3501. Is 'no glove, no love' your STRICT policy? >> I don’t have policies for activities I don’t participate in in the first place.

3502. What is the best Epic movie (examples of epics: ben-her, gone with the wind, last temptation of christ)? >> I don’t know what else falls into the category of “epic movie”, so... can’t really answer. 3503. Finish the sentance. Hey, Hey we're the: Monkees People say we:  But we're too busy:  The time to hesitate is: now You're too: physical It's a nice day to: start again 3504. Have you ever had 'missing time'? >> Only in the context of being intoxicated (and that one botched suicide attempt). 3505. Have you ever sent an electronic greeting? >> Maybe a long time ago.

3506. If you could send anonymous tips to people you knew who would never ever find out who sent them who would you send the following tips to? doesn't know when to leave: poor crotch hygenie: talks to much: band/art/dream is going nowehere: most likely to get arrestted: needs to get their life together: bad taste in clothes: bad taste in music: needs a hobby: 3507. Are you more likely to download porn or disney movies? >> I don’t download much of anything, really. Streaming has become my default mode of consumption. 3508. What is it with people? >> ??? 3509. Do you eat too much sugar? >> I can assure you that I do not. 3510 Imagine you have aband. Let's name your band. Adjective: Animal(plural): Your band name is (adjective) (animals) Under Glass! Could be better? Let's try again. Adjective: Noun (plural): Your band is (adjective) (nouns) With Puppets 3511. Are you desperate but not serious? >> I have no idea what this means. 3512. Was there a time when you were younger and it took less to get you excited? What did it take then? What does it take now? >> Honestly, I have no recollection of excitement experiences as a child. I do know that excitement is difficult for me nowadays because 1) I’m still pretty emotionally blunted, particularly for positive emotions and 2) I automatically attribute all physical feelings that could suggest excitement to anxiety instead (because I’m still learning the difference). 3513. Remember learning to write in elementary school? We spend 2 years learning to print..then they throw that out the window and teach kids cursive. Why? If cursive is so important and easy to read then why aren't books printed in cursive? Why aren't cursive computer fonts more popular? Why do buisness forms always say 'please print'? Schools are so preoccupied with teaching kids the complicated but traditional skill of cursive writing that more emphasis is put on that than on teaching kids how to clearly express their ideas through writing. I move that cursive writing become a jr. high school elective instead of a grammer school priority. Who's with me? >> This seems like a personal rant based on your own experiences and I have no dog in this fight, dude. I think of penmanship like art -- script writing is an art form and being adept at it can lead to some pretty results. Just don’t use it if you don’t care for it. Also, I’m pretty sure very few (public) schools care about cursive writing in this era, lmao, so this is also an outdated rant. 3514. Can you think of anything else (besides cursive writing) that is unhelpful, or unuseful, yet traditional and unquestioned? What? >> Whatever. 3515. Name one female celebrity who you would guess wears size ___ clothing: 0? 5? 12? 16? 20? 3516. Have you ever been to a place where the restrooms were named in a clever way rather than just saying men's and woman's? I've seen Hens and Roosters, Bart and Lisa, Dudes and Babes...what have you seen? >> Yeah, I saw “Pirates” and “Wenches” once. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen others but I can’t remember what they were now. 3517. What is the 'message' or 'point behind': Fight Club? Donnie Darko? AI? Minority Report? Solaris? A Walk to Remember? You've Got Mail? 3518. have you seen, and what are your thoughts about these movies: Drumline? >> Now this is a question block I can actually answer. I did see Drumline, but I was 13 at the time so I have no real recollection of my feelings about it. The Hot Chick? >> Nope. Maid in Manhattan? >> Nope. Star Trek: Nemesis? >> Nope. About Schmidt? >> Nope. Okay, maybe I can’t answer this question block after all. What are most of these movies...? Evelyn? >> --- The Guys? >> --- Intacto? >> --- The Jimmy Show? >> ---

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers? >> I did see this, but I don’t remember much of it either because it was at least half a decade ago. I do assume I enjoyed it. Gangs of New York? >> --- Two Weeks Notice? >> --- The Wild Thornberrys Movie? >> --- Smokers Only? >> --- Treasure Planet? >> --- The Santa Clause 2? >> --- 3519. START this sentance: ....and I think to myself, what a wonderful world." >> ---

3520. What is: insanity? normal? farenheit? 3521. Tell us about yourself in the third person for a bit: >> I’d really rather not attempt that. 3522. If someone breaks a law, should they be punished if they did not know it was a law? >> Oh, I don’t know. This is a concept that can get real thorny real fast. 3523. If it's so much easier to learn languages when we are very young (and it is, something to do with the developing brain) why do they wait until jr high and high school to teach them? >> I don’t know anything about the justifications behind public-school curricula, dude. 3524. Name a band you sort of like: Dream Theater. You are wearing that band's t-shirt in a store. SUDDENLY some guy you don't know comes up to you and goes, "Hey! You like (insert name of the band here)??!!" This is obviously a really stupid question because if you didn't like them you wouldn't be wearing the t-shirt. Your witty reply is: >> It’s not a really stupid question, first of all, because it’s a conversation starter as opposed to a straightforward inquiry. I’d assume he’s excited that someone else seems to be a fan of a band he likes, and is opening the floor to talking about it. Which is great! Let’s talk about prog metal! Now, on the other hand, if the tone of “hey, you like Dream Theater?” is skeptical, like he’s assuming I’m just blithely wearing the shirt without actually liking the band or whatever, then I’d probably just give him a simple “yep” and see what happened after that. I’m not going to immediately be sarcastic or “witty” until I am positive about what kind of interaction is happening. 3525. If you were organizing cd's in a music store what section would you put each of the following in (don't forget the 'bargain bin' section!): Blink182 Depech Mode Weezer Led Zeppelin The Doors Avril Lavigne Nelly Manfred Mann Iggy Pop Pink Floyd Guns N Roses Shakira Britny Spears Tool Ozzy Osbourne Madonna The Rolling Stones The Beatles Motley Crue Bon Jovi 3526. Does coffee stimulate your mind or body more? >> It stimulates my anxiety drive, is what it does. 3527. Can you do 'six degrees of seperation' to anyone famous? >> I assume not. 3528. What's the oddest thing in your home? >> Me. 3529. Do you find it odd when people who are not handicapped use the handicapped stall: in the bathroom? >> No, I’ve used it because the close quarters of the other stalls wig me out sometimes. Or I’ve used it because the other ones were disaster zones. Or I’ve used it because I was also getting changed in the stall, or something, and needed the room. in the parking lot? >> You need a whole placard (or handicapped license plate) for those, so there are obvious rules. 3530. Do you sometimes find yourself talking to yourself? Do you answer yourself back? >> No, I talk to the Inworlders, not “myself”. 3531. In your head do you call yourself 'I' or 'you' or both? >> Er... “I”? 3532. What is the best excuse for why you haven't done your homework? >> --- 3533. Someone tells you 'well there are black people, and then there are n*ggers'. What do you think? >> I think that person’s an out-and-out bona-fide bigot, obviously? What the fuck else am I going to think (besides “I have to leave immediately”)??? 3534. Does culture shape behavior or does behavior shape culture? >> Yes. 3535. What determines whether a person will be: intelligent? pretty? happy? sucessful? 3536. What is social loafing? What is groupthink? >> ??? 3537. I have an idea. let's change the english language by making the words fewer, shorter and more concise. What do ya think? >> No. 3538. What are the physical symptoms of: joy? fear? shame? 3539. Here's the scenerio...your little eight year old brother is hangin out in the house when you come in..and catch him watching the playboy channel! What do you do/say? He says, "Why can't I watch this?" What is your response? Why do you respond that way? >> I don’t have an eight-year-old brother and I don’t know anything about how I would respond in a sibling-dynamic situation because I’ve never been in one. 3540. Who REALLY has a higher sex drive, girls or guys? How can you tell? >> --- 3541. are you usually carefree? >> No. 3542. Do you generally prefer reading to meeting people? >> This is an odd comparison to make. 3543. Do you often long for excitement? >> No. 3544. Are you mostly quiet when you are with others? >> It depends on what kind of situation I’m in and what kind of day I’m having. And who the others are. And where we are. Context, people. Details. Please. 3545. Do you often do things spur of the moment? >> No. 3546. Are you slow an unhurried in the way you move? >> Sometimes. If I’m doing something I hate or that triggers me, then I tend to be a lot more hurried. 3547. Would you do almost anything for a dare? >> I wouldn’t do anything on a dare. 3548. Do you hate being in a crowd who plays jokes on one another? >> Er... 3549. Do you enjoy wild parties? >> No. 3550. Have you ever paid for something priced more than $5.00 in only change? >> No, but I was with someone that did. We had to scrounge for change in her car so we could buy enough gas to get us the rest of the way home, lol.

[melyaliz]

Hidden Rainbow

Requested by @speedypan

Fandom: DC / Young Justice

Pairing: Bart Allen x OC slight Will Harper x OC

Notes: This takes place around season 2ish.

I honestly really want to write more Gigi and Bart stuff (or just more Gigi stuff) So Thank you Kim for the request. I’m sorry if there isn’t enough Faith and Gigi.

More about Gigi

Maia is owned by @royslittleharper

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive​

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

-----------------------------------------------------------

“They are scared” Antoinette’s voice flooded Gigi’s mind as the two small girls lay in their bed “I can hear their voices so loudly”

Gigi took her twin’s hand closing her eyes “It’s ok, they are our parents they will take care of us”

“I don’t think they can.” her sister’s voice had an edge to it. “The bad man is coming.”

“The bad man can’t get us, remember what daddy said.”

Antoinette shook her head moving closer to her sister the fear and dread she could hear her mother’s thoughts telling her otherwise. Even at her age of 4 she knew, she knew it was coming.

“It’s ok,” Her sister’s voice broke through Antoinette’s thoughts, “I’m here for you, we are a team remember.”

A promise made by two girls who were much too young to understand who they were or what was out there for them. Just two children barely babies who didn’t understand that sometimes promises can be broken by fate itself.

--12 years later --

“I’m telling you, it’s an army of penguins.”

“But if she saved Santa wouldn’t it be more like reindeer? Or I don’t know, something cooler like Dragons?”

“You don’t think Penguins are cool?” Gigi looked up at her best friend who was swinging her legs back and forth on the counter as she watched Gigi construct her classic ice cream concoction.

“I mean Gotham has this villain named the Penguin and he’s kind of a dork.”

“You say that about all the villains.”

“That’s because they are!”

Two types of chocolate syrup on top of three sugar cubes, and don’t forget the sprinkles (rainbow of course). Faith stole a bit of her friend’s ice cream with her finger, however the moment it touched her lips she made a face.  “Honestly, I don’t know how you can eat that.. It’s… kind of sweet.”

“I have a refined pallet.” Now to add some extra whip cream before topping it with cocoa pebbles cereal.

“Is that what we are calling it?”  

The sound of the alarms went off in base, an intruder. Both girls looked up at the flashing lights confused.

What was going on?

“Should we…” Faith’s voice trailed off as a yellow streak flashed by the kitchen only to come back for a moment the speedster slowing down enough so both girls could see him.

A bright red-haired boy stood there for a moment his head cocked to one side looking over the two girls who were sitting there just looking back. Well in Gigi’s case she was standing there, a large bowl of diabetes in her hand a spoon of said treat in her mouth.

A second later he was gone, Nightwing shouting something from the command room.

“Who the hell was that?” Faith asked, her friend shrugged taking another bite of her ice cream.

“Do we go find out?”

“I guess, I mean alarms are a bad thing, right?” Jumping off the counter Faith sighed running her fingers through her hair “I can’t keep up with the comings and goings of this place.”

-----5 years ago----

“They found your sister,” Jean’s said gently as she walked into Gigi’s room. It had been Three years since Gigi had lost her sister. She was still just a kid. A kid who’s world had been filled with villains and heroes. People who cared for her and made sure she was safe. They were her family, helping her find her sister. Helping her learn about her own powers.

“But Gigi,” Jean’s voice trailed off for a moment as if she wasn’t sure how to put what had happened into words. This was their lives the young teen thought as she looked down at the young girl before her. This unrealistic crazy life.

“Is she ok? Is Antoinette ok?”

“The bad guys, the people who took her. They were collecting mutants from all different times and, while it’s only been three years for us it’s been… nine for her.”

----------Present ----------

Never in the red-haired girl’s life had she never imagined she would ever be part of this.

The big leagues.

Being a mutant meant there was a certain stigma attached to her, being born with a deformity, something that wasn’t right.

A mutation.

Yet here she was. Going on a mission with the sidekicks of some of the greatest heroes around, Superman, Flash, and Batman. And being led by the best of the best.

Willow.

She had saved Santa once. No other hero could top that.

“Willow, Angry Spice won’t let me sit next to him!”

“Stop calling me that!” Superboy snapped pushing Guardian Angel’s (known by Gigi as Faith her very bestest friend in the whole world) head gently as the girl bounced in her seat.

“And after I made you come on this mission and everything” Angel grumbled crossing her arms over her chest sticking out her tongue out.

“Yeah you should be grateful,” Blue Beetle said, “it took two missions before she even admitted I could stay.”

“She doesn’t have a choice who goes on these missions,” Superboy said glaring back at Angel.

“Yeah, you should be grateful you are part of the losers, it is really just Willow, Plastic-girl and I until sneaky sneaker and then BeeBee, we only took pity on you because you're always so angry.”

“Yeah” Gigi aka Plastic-girl twisted her head around in her seat exorcist style to look at Superboy, “Why are you always so angry? There are so many amazing things to be happy about. Like Vines.”

“Vines are amazing.” Impulse, aka sneaky sneaker, nodded in agreement. “Jamie spent all last night showing them to us.”

“Hey, I helped!” Angel said added.

“You spent the whole time throwing popcorn at Bart to see if he could catch them in his mouth.”  

“Which he did, my favorite was when I did a backflip off the bookcase.”

“Please tell me you got that on film,” Willow said

“Of course” Plastic-girl, said holding up her phone to show the greatest hero that ever lived. “I’m going to start our own vine account.”

“Too bad it no longer exists.”

“WHAT!?!” Both Plastic-girl and Impulse cried in pure shock and horror.

“WHY!?!”

“What villain did this?”

“It’s because he crashed the mode”

“Wait really?”

“Don’t say that to them Angel, they don’t know.”

“Impulse wouldn't do that, would you.”

“You think I would?” the look on Impulse’s face was so hurt that Plastic-girl instantly regretted saying it.

“No of course not! You are here to save us all not take away happiness and joy. In fact, you have brought extra happiness and joy since joining our team.”

“Wait I have?”

“Yeah I mean did you see all those videos we did, they are so cool.” Plastic-girl scooted close to Impulse to show him more of the videos she had taken from her best friend and the best hero (besides Willow of course) doing crazy stunts.

“I’m just hoping she could cram one more happiness and joy into that sentence” Guardian Angel snickered to Superboy

“Does all their freakouts end like that?” Superboy asked as the two redheads obliviously watched the videos laughing and sitting way too close to each other to be “just friends”.

“And people said Roy and I were bad” Willow muttered.

“You guys still are,” Angel said.

“I have no idea what you mean.”

------5 years ago-----

“Antoinette?”

Antoinette turned as her young sister walked into the room. Her twin. Now 6 years younger than her. It was as if they didn’t even know each other anymore. Gigi her sister she was some older girl, broken and a shadow of a memory.

For Antoinette Gigi hadn’t changed at all. She was the same as she remembered. So sweet and full of possibilities. In Gigi, Antionette saw what her life could have been.

If she was still Antionette.

“It’s Hope, I know you and mom are still getting used to calling me that but… I’m sorry” Hope turned “But Antoinette just holds a lot of pain for me, from the lab and… just everything.”

“I’m sorry” Gigi whispered crawling into bed next to her sister.

“It’s not your fault, it’s because we’re mutants. People are never going to know what to do with us. Kill us or use our powers.”

“Mommy says she wishes we were normal so we didn’t have to deal with those people.”

“Yeah…” Hope’s voice trailed off, “Sometimes I do too.”

--------------------Present-------------------------

“Plastic-girl!” Guardian Angel’s voice could be heard in the distance as Plastic-girl struggled for air as the bad guy with the huge metal arm held her up by her neck. Normally she would be able to squeeze out of this but for some reason… she couldn’t.

Her team wasn’t far off but they were also struggling with the team of them who seemed to have some impressive tech. It was like they had known they were coming. How their tech had singled them out, dividing them and coming right for Plastic-girl.

“I’m going to have fun opening you up girl,” the large man said leaning forward so only she could hear “little mutant skum, seeing how you tick, how you got those powers.”

Her world was blacking out, spots forming around the sides of her eyes. As hard as she tried she couldn’t seem to fight it.

“Relax I’m here”

Her sister's voice echoed through her mind. How? Where?

The bad guy let out a scream of pain dropping Plastic-girl gasping on the ground clutching her neck where large bruises were forming.

“Hope?”

The dark red-haired woman walked slowly through the bad guys as they all fell to the ground. Her eyes glowing red as the man who had once been strangling her twin was now screaming in pain.

“Hope let him go.” Plastic-girl whispered horsley as her sister raised her hand, “He…”

“He was going to kill you, I’m just showing him what pain he has inflicted on mutants like us.”

“No Hope… we are the good guys”

The bad guy fell to his knees tears streaming down his face as he tried to claw at his brain as Hope pulled apart his mind from the inside.

“Please!” Plastic-girl cried her voice squeaky and in so much pain it felt like she had just pulled sandpaper out of her throat. They were better than this. If they treated the bad guys the way they were treated what was the point? They would only prove them right.

They were monsters.

From where she was standing Hope let out a small grunt hitting her neck only to realize someone had shot her with a tranquilizer dart.

Willow stood a few feet away holding up her bow next to her Plastic-girl recognized Cyclops and Nightcrawler.

Nightcrawler teleports behind Hope catching her as she slowly blacked out. Plastic-girl scrambled to her feet feeling two hands helping her.

“I got you,” Impluse said next to her, “Are you ok?”

“My sister…” Plastic-girl muttered tears filling her eyes threatening to fall. She wasn’t sure if it was the pain of seeing her sister like that. So angry. Filled with so much hate.

“She’s fine,” Cyclops said, “we have been looking into a gang that has been taking mutants kind of like the ones that took your sister and her friends. I knew we shouldn’t have brought her with us.”

“What do they want?” Willow asked coming up next to him

“We aren’t sure yet but it seems like maybe some kind of virus.”

“Can we help?” Angel asked glancing from Plastic-girl to her sister as she bit her lip. For a moment her eyes met Her best friend before the red-haired girl looked away.

“Not right now but thanks, this is a mutant issue.” Cyclops said “So I would appreciate if you guys maybe didn’t get the League involved they tend to make things more.. messy” he added.

“I’m not sure…”

“Yeah no problem,” Willow said cutting Superboy off shooting him a glare, “We all know what it’s like to deal with an internal issue.”

---------------------

A mutant issue, the words seemed to swim around Gigi as she sat in her bed her knees pulled up to her chest.

A mutant issue.

It was always the same. The Mutants and the Justice League.

The people who were born with a defect and those who had a defect happen to them.

No matter how much she tried to lie to herself it always felt like she didn’t belong to either of them.

Next to her Faith rubbed gentle circled around her back

“Do you think Conner will tell?” Gigi asked glancing up at her best friend.

“Maia would make him keep it quiet.”

“I just… she’s not bad you know, she just… had a lot of bad things happen to her.”

Faith shrugged, “Who am I to judge? I mean she did save your life. She seems ok to me”

---------------------------------------------

“Hey man, I was thinking maybe we could…”

“Bring Gigi’s favorite Ice cream?” Bart finished Jamie’s sentence holding up a large bowl of sweet ice things.

“What’s in that?”

“In order, two scoops of Coffee, two cookie dough and a scope of something different because you should always be open to change, three cubes of sugar then top with white and dark chocolate syrup. Add sprinkles then cover with whip cream for a surprise rainbow, add one normal gummy bear and one sour one,  more whip cream with cocoa pebbles so it looks like a night sky only the opposite. Then finish with two cherries dipped in strawberry syrup.”

Jamie stood there mouth hanging open “Wow Hermano you have it bad.”

Bart blinked, a blank look on his face, “What bad?”

Jamie shook his head chuckling “Tell you what, how about you go give Gigi her special ice cream and I’ll meet up with both of you later.”

“You sure? I mean we’re all a team…”

“Naw, you go ahead.”

“Crash.”

He was gone before Jamie could say another word.

--------------

Both girls were laying on Gigi’s bed now talking about anything and everything. Faith was telling a silly story about the last time she was on patrol with her uncle and Tim Drake when she was interrupted by a knock.

“Yeah?”

“Hey is it cool if I come in?” Bart asked peeking in. Gigi nodded sitting up giving a small wave. Her eyes and nose still slightly red from crying. “I brought gifts!” Bart said holding out the bowl of ice cream.

“It has two cherries! And a sky full of black stars.”

“And a hidden rainbow and a yin and yang gummy bears”

“Wow,” Gigi said reaching out taking the bowl before taking a bite, “You’re amazing”

Bart chuckled rubbing the back of his head, “Thanks”

“I can’t believe you remembered her whole ice cream.”

“How couldn’t I? It’s totally crash”

“Have you actually tried it?”

“No”

“Probably for the best,” Faith said motioning to a free spot next to Gigi “join us.” Bart scrambled up onto the bed glancing over at Gigi as she dug into her ice cream.

“How are you feeling?”

“Ok, this helps.”

“I’m sorry about all the mutant stuff.”

“S’ok” Gigi mumbled, “Family can just be complicated sometimes.”

“That’s why you have us,” Faith said nudging her, “We are your family too. And no matter what we have your back.”

“Y… Yeah” Bart said, “We hate seeing you sad.”

Gigi smile holding out her bowl for Bart to take a spoonful. “Thank you,” she said with a wide smile. “You guys are really the best ever” Bart matched her smile as he took a large spoonful.

“Ok wow… that is REALLY sweet”

“Told you.” Faith snickered

“It’s prefect,” Gigi said moving her spoon around so a few colored sprinkled showed up, her hidden rainbow. Like her friends, they were always there, no matter what was around they were always there ready to make her days just a little more wonderful.

-GET TAGGED!- 

Tagging: @royslittleharper​​  @the-shadow-of-atlantis​​ @coffee-randomness​​ @daisyboobear​​ @nilthanious​​  @jason-redhood​ @hello-i-lovespiderman-blr @ocelysium @pinkwitch21 @tomhncharliep

[redrobinfection]

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

JayTim | Complicated Relationship | Angst | Betrayal | UST | One-Sided Attraction | 5.4K (below read more link) | Read on Ao3

AN: This fic is a gift to @chibinightowl for the 2018 JayTim Secret Santa Exchange. It represents a small portion of a much larger AU developed for the prompt "Pirate Captain Jason and Privateer Captain Tim chasing each other around ocean and ending up marooned together"… maybe someday chibi_nightowl and I will share the rest with everyone else ;)

---

A stiff wind beats against their ship, sending chilly spray up over the bow and into the faces of his haggard crew. Captain Timothy Drake bears the sharp gust and biting spray with grim equanimity.

"Captain, please! This is our thirtieth watch since we began this hellish grind and if we stay on this heading, we'll run right into those storms brewing right o'er the horizon. Let us break off and seek calmer seas."

Stephanie's - his navigator - words roar around him like the sea, but he doesn't yield anymore to her than he does to the roughening surf. He knows a storm is brewing - he can smell it, feel it even - but he doesn't care. His eyes are fixed on a hazy smudge on the horizon, his target of nearly eight days now, and he'll be damned if he lets it go. Not now. Not after so long…

"Cassie, please, you know I speak sense! Help, me convince him!"

Tim feels a light touch on his arm and turns to his first mate, the fierce Cassandra Sandsmark, who is peering into his face with equal parts concern and steely resolve.

"Tim, I agree with Stephanie on this. Our crew is lagging, the winds are rising, and if we don't turn back soon we'll likely be caught out in this storm. We weren't equipped for a jaunt much longer than a few days and we aren't rigged for open water. We've given those pirates a good run of it, but time and fortune are against us now. We need to turn back."

He frowns. "Re-rig the ship and begin tying down loose articles, but we won't turn back until they do. We'll smash these bastards between our hull and the storm if we have to. Those are your orders," he reiterates firmly, eyeing both of them sternly. Cassie tsks in exasperation and Steph scrubs her hands through her hair with a sound of frustration. Conner Kent and Bartholomew Allen, two more of his trusted lieutenants look up from across the ship in concern and curiosity.

"Captain, really, the crew is-

"These seas will tear us to flots-

"Enough!" Tim cuts across them, tearing his eyes away from his target to stare them down. "I hear your concerns and, as always, I appreciate your candor, but my decision stands. Maintain visual contact and move to intercept at best possible speed."

Cassie and Steph share a look, but in the end, they are still his best and truest. They salute him crisply for the whole crew to see. "Aye, Captain!" Cassie immediately turns to the crew and begins issuing orders to adjust the rigging, but Steph hangs back.

"If I may speak freely-" Steph begins in a low voice.

"I doubt you'd hold back even if I asked," Tim replies drily.

"-and as your friend," she continues, her acknowledging grin still tinged with worry, "the crew would feel a whole lot better about this rough haul if we knew what was so important about this one measly ship." She sighs and tilts her head back, rolling one shoulder. "Every person on this ship trusts you with their life and would follow you into hell itself, but it's not often you to lead us on in the dark. The crew is antsy, tired, confused, unmotivated..."

Tim opens his mouth but Steph presses on, turning to fix him with the full force of her icy blue stare. "They see a fire in your eyes and wait for you to light it in their hearts, but instead you keep your reasons to yourself and lead us on this wild goose chase, into a storm, in open water, and all for what?"

"Steph-"

"Hell, even I'm feeling a touch flighty, not knowing if you'll sacrifice us to Davy Jones just to catch a single ship and ne'er e’en tell us what's worth more'n our lives to-"

"Steph!" Tim finally bellows, shaking his head and turning her away from the crew. She colors but holds his gaze. He sighs and leans in.

"The man on that boat wearing the captain's tricorner, he's the reason I came to Bristol," Tim tells her quietly. Steph's eyes widen.

"Wait. He's the one that…"

"Aye, the very one."

Steph covers her mouth with one hand and stares over Tim's shoulder toward the ship in the distance. "No… are you sure?"

"Completely. And even if I wasn't, that ship flies known pirate colors; as privateers in service of the crown, we'd chase them down for entering crown territory in any case. But…" he trails off and his eyes harden. "I'm sure, Steph."

Steph's gaze hardens as well and a spark of something fierce and wild - the very spark that caught his eye back when he first put together his privateer crew back in Bristol - lights up her eyes. "In that case we'll have to prepare a proper 'thank you' for him, eh?" Steph cracks her knuckles and grins savagely. Tim shakes his head fondly. "May I share this news with the crew?" she asks him beseechingly. "They'll be wanting to share their 'thanks' with this bastard as well, I'd imagine."

Tim hesitates, but nods stiffly. "Aye, but keep it brief. They don't need my whole bloody life story, Stephanie."

"Aye, Captain," she replies with a jaunty salute that barely disguises the rage behind her eyes as she turns to the crew and begins to walk the length of the ship, calling out in a loud voice, "Okay, listen up you sorry lot, we've got a grand personage on that boat up ahead-"

Heads come up and eyes turn toward her while Tim does his best to tune out her voice. He turns his gaze back to the ship in the distance.

"-that very cur that once tried his damnedest to betray and murder our esteemed captain-"

A distant part of him can feel his crew's eyes on him, but his mind is elsewhere, imagining a face, imagining the look on it when they overtake that ship, board it, then sink it to the depths.

"-one Jason bloody Todd, scourge of the Caribbean, and foulest among pirates! I expect you all to give him your 'warmest regards'-"

Murmurs rise among the crew, heads nodding. Cassie looks surprised and furious, but she turns her fury toward the horizon. In the background, Conner's face takes on a dark cast and Bart cracks his knuckles with a wicked grin.

"-so what say you, crew of the Red Robin? You ready to catch this sonofabitch and send his sorry excuse of a ship down to the murky deep?"

"Aye!"

Tim smiles grimly into the biting wind and imagines the face of one Jason Peter Todd in the moment he gets his long-overdue comeuppance.

"All hands on deck for best available speed and make preparations to board!"

"Aye!"

He smiles and looks in grim satisfaction to the storm ahead.

~*~

"Jason? Jason! Damn you to the depths, Jason Todd! Listen to me when I talk!"

Jason nods absently, his eyes fixed on a slip of a ship far off to their stern. "I hear you, Roy…"

"But you don't listen!" Roy bites back, stepping between Jason and his view of the tailing ship. Roy frowns. "All you want to do is stare dreamily back at that damned ship and mutter to yourself. You're lucky Kori has her wits about her or they would have caught us naught but five minutes out of port."

"I can't believe it, Roy, it's him, it's really him..."

Roy, his third-in-command, rolls his eyes. "You keep saying that, but who is 'him'? Who is on that ship that has you so moony you would've about thrown yourself under their keel if we hadn't hauled you away?"

Jason scowls and rips his eyes away from the horizon. "It's him, Roy. The one I thought I’d…"

"Is that supposed to mean something to- OH," Roy's eyes widen as he remembers a drunken confession Jason made to him over too many brandies all those months ago back when Jason first brought their crew together.

"He's the one you killed while hopped up on Joker's Breath? Back when you tried to take the Batfang out from under ol' Bluebird?"

Jason winces, but nods. "Aye. Him. Tim."

"Tim, huh?" Roy looks uncertain. "Are you sure? You only got a glimpse of him before they raised the alarm and Kori sped us away, thank God in heaven for the good head on her shoulders."

Jason nods and turns his gaze back to the distant ship. "I'd know that face anywhere, Roy. It's him."

Roy rolls his eyes again. "Okay… well, I guess you didn't kill him after all, but considering the fuss he's put up trying to run us down, I can't imagine he's all too happy over the attempt."

"I don't care," Jason says. "He's alive. I could sing, Roy. My God, he's alive…" He runs his hands through his hair for the hundredth time, teasing it into wild, unkempt spikes.

"Yes," Roy responds flatly. "Actually, it's been eight days, Jason, how has this not sunk in yet?"

"He's really alive…"

Roy closes his eyes and tips his head back, groaning. He crosses himself. "God in heaven, preserve us…"

"Save some of those prayers for the hours to come, Roy Harper. We'll be needing them once this storm breaks," First Mate Kori Anders tells him as she approaches from behind.

"They must be suicidal following us into this storm," Roy comments wryly.

"A trait we clearly share, since we're headed into it ourselves!" their helmswoman Artemis calls back over her shoulder.

"Aye, but you'd have thought they'd've turned back by now," Roy muses, rubbing his chin. “It was a mad plan, but it should’ve worked a charm...”

"Never underestimate the lengths to which a pirate - former or otherwise - will go to set to rights a wrong committed against them," Kori comments blithely, pulling out her looking glass. She sighs after a moment and turns to Jason.

"Captain, there is nothing for it. We cannot outrun them and we are vastly outgunned. We must come about and bring the fight to them, on our own terms."

Jason nods. "No more running. I need to see him, one more time..."

Roy makes a sound of disgust as Kori frowns in confusion. "You're missing the point, Captain Todd. We're not planning to turn around to kiss your lover on the cheek. That man is after our blood; we need to make a stand, draw first blood and drive them off," he reminds him.

Jason finally turns his full attention on Roy, a blotchy flush rising on his cheeks. "He was not my lover, not after… No, we don't take the offensive today." Roy begins to interrupt him, but Jason persists, eyes taking on a grim cast.

"He's not after our blood, he's after mine," Jason tells them firmly. "I'll… I will speak with him. We will work this out." Kori and Roy raise their eyebrows, but wisely told their tongues. "We will defend ourselves, but we will not draw first blood. That is an order. Is that understood?"

Roy and Kori stiffen under his unyielding stare, their doubt and uncertainty yielding to trust borne of long partnership and camaraderie. "Aye, Captain."

"Come about! One-eighty to stern. Ready the sweeps and prepare arms! We fight to defend only, by strict order of the captain himself! Prepare for hard sprint at the word!" Kori orders the crew in a booming voice. Jason turns back to staring across the waves toward their shadow. Roy scrubs a hand across his face in exhaustion then hurries to help the crew prepare their vessel for the rough stretch ahead. Artemis and the rest of the crew of the Red Hood look around at each other uneasily, but comply without hesitation.

"Aye!"

~*~

"Tim, I'm so relieved you're alive! I don't even have the words to express how glad-"

"Save your breath, Jason!" Tim yells back hoarsely, fighting to be heard over the howl of wind and rain and pounding seas around them. He strikes out at Jason wildly, recklessly, forcing Jason closer to the edge of the steeply rolling deck.

They slide around on the slick planks and tumble over loose detritus in a frenzied dance, Tim striking out violently while Jason attempts to talk him down from his rage. Around them the crews mirror their fight, Tim's crew attacking with a vengeance while Jason's fight just to hold them at bay. Truthfully, it was all they could manage in any case, outnumbered as they were by Tim's privateers.

Kori's plan to turn back fast and hard and surprise Tim's crew worked a charm. They'd been taken off-guard so badly when the Red Hood had suddenly appeared out of nowhere on leeward side that they'd hadn't the time to run out their long guns and had instead begun immediate boarding, just as Jason and Kori had hoped. Unfortunately, the storm that had been brewing around them also arrived to the fight not long after they, and now it tossed their ships around like toys, threatening to take them both to the crushing deep for their troubles.

"Tim, I'm so, so sorry! I never meant-" Jason bellows over the wind, dodging another wide swing of Tim's staff.

"Shut up! Shut up and fight me, you arsehole! I don't want to hear your false apologies!" Tim howls back, launching himself heedlessly across the deck of his ship to strike again. "You. Tried. To. KILL! ME!" he pants out, his face livid in the sporadic flashes of lightning. "You. Ungrateful. Hog-brained. Ill-begotten. Betraying. Piece of filth! Fight back, you spavined cur! FIGHT MEEEEE!"

Jason lets Tim dart in close and rap him smartly across his side, but the younger pulls his blow almost immediately, looking all the more enraged for Jason having allowed the hit. Jason shakes his head, sending rain and seawater flying from his sodden hair. "I killed you, Tim, I watched you die and I'll never forgive myself! Never! I'm sorry, so sor-"

"LIAR!"

They both stagger as the ships lurch, and a sudden cry of fear rising from many mouths turns their heads to stare in horror at the massive swell rumbling toward the linked ships. Calls from both crews to pull back gangplanks, cut loose, and brace for impact are faint under the roar of the sea, but there is no way they can be ready in time.

Jason sees his chance and scrambles across a plank just before two of his crew push it off their rail, safely alighting on the deck of his own boat. He hears a cry and turns, eyes widening in horror as he watches Tim go down with the plank, eyes fixed on Jason's, one a hand still reaching out as if to snag his coattails and drag him down with him. He watches in slow motion as the back end of the plank rises while the other drops, striking Tim hard on the back of his head. Cries of alarm rise from some of Tim's crew as their captain goes limp and plummets like a stone into the inky surf. Jason moves without thinking, the roar of the sea and the screams of their crews dropping away as his world narrows down to a single point: Tim.

He dives headfirst into the gulf between their ships and lets the current take him. He searches wildly in the pitch black with his rapidly numbing limbs and nearly gasps in relief when his legs strike a large mass. He twists and turns, finally snagging an arm just before a wave flips them head-over-heels. He tugs the body close, wraps all four of his limbs around it while praying that it is, in fact, Tim, and waits for a lull.

His lungs are burning by the time he finds a chance to rise, slinging one arm around Tim while he uses the other to scrabble for the surface. They reach air just in time for him to suck in a quick breath before another wave pushes them down once more. A bolt of lightning illuminates a piece of flotsam that washes over them and Jason seizes it, hauling the body up and onto it in the next lull. Another flash reveals Tim's slack face and their two boats disappearing into the storm.

Not ideal, but he'll take any good fortune he can get along with the bad. There was no way their boats would be able to get to them in these rolling seas, anyway. They would all have to ride this out and see where they end up in the morning.

Jason turns Tim onto his side and thumps between his shoulder blades, breathing a shaky sigh of relief when he feels coughing. He climbs up beside Tim, throws an arm and leg over him, and braces himself to hang on for the both of them, for as long as it takes, until they ride out this storm.

~*~

Tim wakes slowly, the smell of wood smoke registering first, then the unpleasant, sticky-gritty feeling of taking an unplanned bath in seawater…

His eyes snap open and he lurches upright with a strangled gasp that dissolves into coughing. His throat feels awful and it stands to reason he might have swallowed a good portion of that seawater he bathed in, but he's currently coming up blank on why or how that might have occurred. That's fine; he's woken up this way more than once in his time as a pirate, and then later, as a privateer. One of many workplace hazards. It'll all come back to him eventually. Or it won't and he'll make due anyway. He always does.

A small sound draws his eyes across the fire to the sight of a man and in an instant it all comes back to him with a burning fury. "YOU!" he bellows, throwing himself at the man, at Jason Todd, nearly setting himself on fire in the process. Jason has the good grace to look guilty before surprise overtakes his features, but Tim is livid at the other things he sees there. Happiness. Affection. Lov-

"Tim! Easy! Take it easy, pajarito! You took a rough tumble and breathed no small amount of seawater before I fished you out last night!" he has the temerity to plead. Tim fumes.

"How dare you! You don't get to call me that anymore, you bloody mutineer!" he wheezes hoarsely, aiming a punch straight for that smug, handsome face that has the gall to look pained at the accusations.

The infuriating man catches his fist in a firm grip, but his shoulders wilt. "No, I don't suppose I do, at that. Tim, I'm so sor-"

"No!" Tim screams, ripping his fist away and launching himself at Jason anew. They tumble back into the sand and Tim rains open handed blows against Jason's ribs, causing him to grunt involuntarily. "I don't care how sorry you are! I don't want to hear it! That doesn't excuse you for conspiring against my friend - your own brother! That doesn't erase the damage you did to him! To us! And I absolutely refuse to let you weasel your way out of this after you stabbed me square in the chest and left me for dead!"

Jason bucks his hips and rolls them, pinning Tim's legs with his weight and pinning each hand with one of his own. Tim wriggles and fights like a man possessed, but Jason holds firm, staring down at Tim with that stupid, pretty, mournful face of his.

"I know I hurt y-

"You were my friend, Jason! My brother! More than a brother!" Tim howls, drowning out that bloody voice. He can't stand it, can't stand to hear it again after all these months, that same voice he hears in his dreams sometimes, whispering friendly quips and sweet nothings before it morphs into the low growl he heard just before he took a knife to a rib, lucky that he took it to a rib and not between them. "You were the closest thing I had to love and you tossed it all away like rubbish! And for what? For some new 'friends' of yours?"

"Tim, I-"

"I hate you! I despise you, and I will take you down for what you did, even if I have to come back from the dead to- hmmnf!"

Jason leans forward and shuts him up with a rough kiss, something so familiar and yet so strange after all that's happened. Tim lets himself go limp and kisses back after a moment, seeing an opportunity. He tells himself he doesn't enjoy the contact - that Jason is as striking as ever, but he doesn't want any part of that anymore - and that he's only letting his body fall back into this familiar rhythm in order to play along, but it messes with his head, nonetheless. Jason pulls back after a moment and stares down at Tim with an expression that is a vision of relief and guilt and joy all rolled into one. He’s beautiful, as always, but Tim isn't falling for that pretty face anymore. Never again, he swears.

"You've already come back from the dead, Tim," Jason tells him softly, easing up on his hands, then lifting one of his own to trace the line of Tim's face. "We both have, and I would gladly die aga-"

Tim uses that chance to flip them and summarily strikes Jason in the temple with his fist, dropping the man instantly. He scrambles off of him and drops back into the sand with a grunt. After a moment to catch his breath, he slowly begins taking in the island around them, studying the trees and the sand and the curve of the beach around them.

It looks... small. Intimate, even. No chance of him disappearing to some secluded corner and pretending he hasn’t just been marooned on an island with the one person he currently hates most in this world. After a moment he tilts his head back and releases a wheezy sigh.

"Well, fuck."

~*~

Jason groans, then attempts to bat away the scratchy object repeatedly nudging his cheek. All he wants to do is roll over and sleep off the awful pounding in his head. He shouldn't have let Roy talk him into having so much of that damn rum, he thinks hazily.

"Wake up, you lunk," a voice off to his right says, the scratchy object nudging with greater insistence.

"Lemme alone, Roy…" Jason begins to grumble until the tone and pitch of that voice registers and he snaps awake. "Tim!"

Tim Drake sits back on his heels with an sullen glare, but proffers a roughly cut half of a coconut that Jason accepts with shaky hands. There is coconut water in the cleaned out shell and suddenly Jason's thirst hits him hard and fast much like the wave that knocked them from their ships did hours ago. His memory of the last day and a half trickles back to him as he gulps down the sweet water gratefully.

"I still can't believe it's really you," Jason admits hoarsely once he catches his breath again.

"Well, it is, and I can't believe you thought it was a good idea to snog me into submission after everything you've already done," Tim replies, pinning him with a sharp look. Jason winces, and sets the coconut down in the sand.

"I'm sorry-"

"I swear, if I hear you say the word sorry one more time…" Tim growls, rolling his eyes in irritation. He sighs, then moves to put the campfire between them. Jason watches him warily. Tim glances over at him then rolls his eyes again.

"Relax, I'm not going to attack you again. For now," he adds with a slit-eyed glare. "I'm still upset with you and no amount of 'sorry's or 'I feel terribly about it' is going to change that, but we can't afford to be fighting each other right now." He gestures to the island around them. "I scouted out our new refuge. We could probably subsist here for weeks, if not months, but it’s a small island and we're all each other has on this sad little spit of land, so, for the time being I propose a truce."

"I agree, heartily," Jason says, clenching his hands together and twisting them, "but I can't live with myself if I don't at least try to amend for some fraction of-"

Tim shakes his head wearily. "I don't want to hear any of it, so don't waste your breath." He gives Jason with a searching look. "Words are cheap, Jason. If you want to prove to me how sorry you are for what you've done, then allow me to take you in to the proper authorities to pay for your crimes."

Jason opens his mouth, but Tim presses on, leaning in intimidatingly. "And know this, Jason Peter Todd: our truce lasts as long as we inhabit this island. As soon as we step off of it, I will spare no expense to bring you to justice. I'll chase you to world's end if need be. I swear on it."

Jason nods, feeling the burden of their shared past weighing heavily on him as replies. "I will."

Tim tilts his head in confusion. "What?"

"I accept your offer of escort to the ruling authorities of any port of your choosing, and I will readily give myself over to suffer whatever punishment they decree in the name of justice," Jason tells him, leaning in to meet Tim stare for stare. "I will never forgive myself for what I did to you - and to Dick - but if it puts your soul at ease, then I will gladly welcome whatever punishment is due to me under the eyes of the law."

Tim stares. "Jason… you'll hang for piracy," he states plainly.

"If that makes amends to you, even in the smallest bit, then I'll go to the gallows gladly," Jason replies, just as plainly.

Tim's eyes widen and his face pales under a slight flush of sunburn. He takes a moment to collect himself and Jason welcomes it, taking the opportunity to drink in the sight of Tim like a man dying of thirst.

Words are cheap, as Tim says, but Jason knows to the depths of his soul that he would go to the gallows happily just so long as Tim's face is his last sight on earth. After too many months of dreams, nay, nightmares that begin with kissing Tim and end with a knife lodged in Tim's chest, there is nothing more beautiful to Jason than the sight of Tim alive and well. Every moment he stares, even the moments of baleful glares and raised voices, feel like rain on parched earth, a balm for his burned and battered soul. He'll take soul-searing fire all day, any day over the horror and betrayal he sees in Tim's pretty ocean-blue eyes every night.

Eventually, Tim clears his throat, studying his woven fingers intently. "Honestly, I didn't think you'd… in all my dreams of this day, I'd pictured confronting you, imagined hauling you away, sometimes imagined keelhauling you or locking you away in my brig to rot, but... I don't think I've ever imagined you actually going to the noose." He glances up, showing Jason his first glimpse vulnerability in what feels like lifetimes. "If you did, I think I'd lose a part of myself on that noose…"

He trails off, deflates with a sigh, then scoots around the campfire until they're sitting roughly side by side. Jason could reach out a hand and touch his arm - he wants to, desperately, if only to confirm Tim’s real and this isn't just another dream - but he holds himself back.

"Explain."

Jason tilts his head and raises a brow in confusion.

"Explain to me what happened," Tim clarifies. "All these months, I've nursed my wounds and my wounded pride, but what really rankled most was never understanding why." The pain and betrayal Jason recalls in his dreams every night shines in Tim's eyes now, and he can't stand to see it, but he refuses to tear his eyes away, punishing himself with the sight of it.

"Why did you turn on Dick?” Tim demands. “Why did you stab me in the chest for something as silly as a Captain's mantle? What did those strange new friends of yours offer you to convince you to betray everything you'd worked for your entire life?"

Jason shakes his head. "They didn't offer; they poisoned," he corrected in a low voice. He plucks a long palm frond from their meager fire and stirs the glowing coals, picking his words wisely.

"Joker's Breath" - Tim's eyes widen in horrified understanding - "was what they offered, and I was fool enough to give in to their wheedling the second night after you'd left to scout ahead. One time was all it took to snag me in their web. By the time you came back…" Jason trails off, shaking his head and refusing to continue. It didn't matter why he did it, it only mattered that he did and he regretted every bit of it with every ounce of his soul.

"Explain," Tim demands again, eyes shining like blue steel in the firelight.

"All that matters is that I was a blasted, naïve fool for letting that riffraff pressure me into taking their poison, and then for letting it consume my every thought thereafter until Dick threw me into the brig to sweat it out," Jason tells him. "Everything that followed that moment of weakness was entirely my fault, and I will never forgive myself for a single bit of it. Never."

Tim lets out a long breath before he speaks again, slowly, as if he is choosing his words very deliberately. "Whether you forgive yourself is your affair, but if I am ever to forgive you - and a large part of me sorely wants to, if only for the benefit of my own peace and sanity - then I need to understand what happened."

He leans in close, catching Jason's gaze. "I need to hear your side of this. You may be surprised to hear it, but I, well…" - a blush darkens the redness in his cheeks and he fidgets but holds Jason's gaze doggedly - "As much as I was infuriated and confused and hurt by what happened that day, I still missed you."

Jason blinks in surprise and Tim nods to himself. "I still love you, despite it all,” Tim admits, “and not understanding how you could do this to me - to all of us - has made that love nothing but a terrible ache in my soul."

"You.. I…" Jason swallows, struggling. "I did all those terrible things and still you have it within you to love me?" he gasps incredulously.

"Yes, but love is funny, Jason. Never doubt for a moment that I also hate you just as much," Tim informs him bluntly. He narrows his eyes and points a finger into Jason's face threateningly. "I wasn't kidding about despising you. I despise what you did and I despise you…"

Jason gapes, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"…but I can't stop loving who you were - who you may still be, somewhere deep down in that muddied soul of yours - and that is just the way it is," Tim concludes with a nod of finality.

Jason closes his mouth and lets out a long breath of his own. "So… you really want to hear my side of things? You're sure?"

The tension drains out of Tim's shoulders and he rolls them once before shooting him the ghost of a grin Jason knows all too well. "Please," he asks, his gentle tone at odds with the challenge in his expression, playfully daring Jason to defy him and see what happens. A marriage of steel and grace, Tim's hallmark style.

As if Jason would ever dare to defy this man's wishes. He scrubs a hand through his salt-sticky hair and drops the tension from his own shoulders, settling himself down before the long, anxious tale ahead. "Well, going back to where it all started, not long after you left on that ill-fated scouting trip…"

[lovemesomesurveys]

5,000 question survey series--part thirty-seven

3501. Is 'no glove, no love' your STRICT policy? Virgin here, but yeah it would be.

3502. What is the best Epic movie (examples of epics: ben-her, gone with the wind, last temptation of christ)?/ So, I’m dumb and thought you meant “epic” as in “awesome”, but something was telling me that you meant it in a different way, so I had to Google it. Apparently, if anyone else doesn’t know, it’s a style of movie that usually focuses on an heroic character. Google it if you want to know more, but yeah. Anyway, I saw a list of top Epic films and saw Forrest Gump was on there, so I’ll choose that. 3503. Finish the sentance. Hey, Hey we're the: People say we: But we're too busy: The time to hesitate is: You're too: It's a nice day to: start again. 3504. Have you ever had 'missing time'? It does seem like you lose time and it just slips away. I certainly feel that way. 3505. Have you ever sent an electronic greeting? Waaaaay back in the AOL days I sometimes send those electronic greeting cards.

3506. If you could send anonymous tips to people you knew who would never ever find out who sent them who would you send the following tips to? doesn't know when to leave: poor crotch hygenie: talks to much: band/art/dream is going nowehere: most likely to get arrestted: needs to get their life together: bad taste in clothes: bad taste in music: needs a hobby: 3507. Are you more likely to download porn or disney movies? Disney movies. I don’t watch porn. 3508. What is it with people? Good question. 3509. Do you eat too much sugar? No. My thing is carbs. 3510 Imagine you have aband. Let's name your band. Adjective: Plain. Animal(plural): Dogs. Your band name is (adjective) (animals) Under Glass!: Plain Dogs Under Glass. Could be better? Uh, yeah. Let's try again. Adjective: Fabulous. Noun (plural): Clothes. Your band is (adjective) (nouns) With Puppets: Fabulous Clothes With Puppets. 3511. Are you desperate but not serious? What.

3512. Was there a time when you were younger and it took less to get you excited? Oh, definitely. As a kid I was easily pleased and entertained and actually enjoyed doing things. Getting McDonald’s or something was exciting. What did it take then? Not much. What does it take now? A lot. :/ Even when it’s something I do like and enjoy, I just don’t have that spark anymore. Getting food isn’t even exciting anymore. 3513. Remember learning to write in elementary school? Yeah.

We spend 2 years learning to print..then they throw that out the window and teach kids cursive. Why? They don’t throw it out the window. We learned cursive in addition to print.

If cursive is so important and easy to read then why aren't books printed in cursive? It’s just a nicer looking print used more for things like our signature. Why aren't cursive computer fonts more popular? I don’t know, man. Not something I’ve thought about. Why do buisness forms always say 'please print'? Because it’s more legible than cursive typically. That’s just how it is okay I don’t knowww. Schools are so preoccupied with teaching kids the complicated but traditional skill of cursive writing that more emphasis is put on that than on teaching kids how to clearly express their ideas through writing. I move that cursive writing become a jr. high school elective instead of a grammer school priority. Who's with me? I don’t know what it’s like in schools now, but for me I remember learning it, but I don’t remember it being such a big deal. 3514. Can you think of anything else (besides cursive writing) that is unhelpful, or unuseful, yet traditional and unquestioned? What? I’m sure there’s a lot of things, but I don’t feel like coming up with any. 3515. Name one female celebrity who you would guess wears size ___ clothing: 0? 5? 12? 16? 20? 3516. Have you ever been to a place where the restrooms were named in a clever way rather than just saying men's and woman's? I've seen Hens and Roosters, Bart and Lisa, Dudes and Babes...what have you seen? I’ve heard of places that do that, but I don’t think I’ve ever been to one. 3517. What is the 'message' or 'point behind': Fight Club? Donnie Darko? AI? Minority Report? Solaris? A Walk to Remember? You've Got Mail? 3518. have you seen, and what are your thoughts about these movies: Drumline? The Hot Chick? I think it’s funny. Maid in Manhattan? It’s cute. Star Trek: Nemesis? About Schmidt? Evelyn? The Guys? Intacto? The Jimmy Show? The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers? Gangs of New York? Two Weeks Notice? The Wild Thornberrys Movie? I wasn’t into that cartoon much as a kid. Smokers Only? Treasure Planet? The Santa Clause 2? It’s cute, but The Santa Clause will always be the best. 3519. START this sentance: ....and I think to myself, what a wonderful world." Something about seeing trees of green and red roses bloom.

3520. What is: insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. normal? Common, typical among a large group of people. Things can be considered normal for individuals, too. farenheit? Unit to measure temperature.

3521. Tell us about yourself in the third person for a bit: This girl really needs to get her shit together cause she’s a mess. 3522. If someone breaks a law, should they be punished if they did not know it was a law? It can be difficult to prove if they did or not, but that’s why in certain circumstances people are just given a warning.

3523. If it's so much easier to learn languages when we are very young (and it is, something to do with the developing brain) why do they wait until jr high and high school to teach them? *shrug* 3524. Name a band you sort of like: You are wearing that band's t-shirt in a store. SUDDENLY some guy you don't know comes up to you and goes, "Hey! You like (insert name of the band here)??!!" This is obviously a really stupid question because if you didn't like them you wouldn't be wearing the t-shirt. Your witty reply is: 3525. If you were organizing cd's in a music store what section would you put each of the following in (don't forget the 'bargain bin' section!): Blink182 Depech Mode Weezer Led Zeppelin The Doors Avril Lavigne Nelly Manfred Mann Iggy Pop Pink Floyd Guns N Roses Shakira Britny Spears Tool Ozzy Osbourne Madonna The Rolling Stones The Beatles Motley Crue Bon Jovi 3526. Does coffee stimulate your mind or body more? It takes off some of the edge, and I really just love coffee, so I guess I’d say my mind cause it doesn’t do much at all for the tiredness anymore.

3527. Can you do 'six degrees of seperation' to anyone famous? Nope.

3528. What's the oddest thing in your home? *shrug*

3529. Do you find it odd when people who are not handicapped use the handicapped stall: in the bathroom? Some parents use it if they have a small child with them. in the parking lot? There’s a stall in the parking lot? ha. It’s pretty messed up when people who genuinely don’t need it use it and take the place from someone who genuinely does. People need to keep in mind; though, that handicapped doesn’t just mean “wheelchair user.” People assume if they’re not in a wheelchair then they don’t need that parking spot and that’s not always the case. 3530. Do you sometimes find yourself talking to yourself? I call it thinking out loud. My mind is a jumbled mess and it helps me sort out things sometimes.

Do you answer yourself back? I don’t have conversations with myself, I just think things out loud.

3531. In your head do you call yourself 'I' or 'you' or both? I refer to myself as “I.”

3532. What is the best excuse for why you haven't done your homework? I don’t have any cause I’m not in school anymore.

3533. Someone tells you 'well there are black people, and then there are n*ggers'. What do you think? Wow, wtf. I’d think “racist” first of all. 3534. Does culture shape behavior or does behavior shape culture? Both.

3535. What determines whether a person will be: A lot of different factors contribute to these things. intelligent? pretty? happy? sucessful? 3536. What is social loafing? When people put in less effort when they’re in a group. What is groupthink? Conforming to the rest of the group.

3537. I have an idea. let's change the english language by making the words fewer, shorter and more concise. What do ya think? Not sure how you’d go about that. Sounds like a lot of work.

3538. What are the physical symptoms of: joy? Smiling, that feeling of butterflies in your stomach, rapid heart rate. fear? Rapid heart rate, sweating, stomach in knots feeling, trouble breathing. shame? Anger, rage, anxiety, crying. 3539. Here's the scenerio...your little eight year old brother is hangin out in the house when you come in..and catch him watching the playboy channel! What do you do/say? I’d quickly switch the channel and ask what he was doing.

He says, "Why can't I watch this?" What is your response? It’s not appropriate for kids. Watch cartoons. Why do you respond that way? Because I don’t think a child should watch that stuff. I wouldn’t freak out on him, but I’d explain it’s just not appropriate. Then if he had questions he could go to my parents, ha.

3540. Who REALLY has a higher sex drive, girls or guys? Really depends on the person. How can you tell? 3541. are you usually carefree? Ha. Haha. Hahahaha. Good one. 3542. Do you generally prefer reading to meeting people? Yes. 3543. Do you often long for excitement? I mean, a break in the mundane routine is nice. 3544. Are you mostly quiet when you are with others? Depends. 3545. Do you often do things spur of the moment/ Nope. 3546. Are you slow an unhurried in the way you move? No. I know people like that and it can be annoying.

3547. Would you do almost anything for a dare? Nope. I’m a lame-o. 3548. Do you hate being in a crowd who plays jokes on one another? Playful joking and goofing around is fun. Unless that’s all they do and they’re just annoying and obnoxious about it to where it’s not fun anymore. 3549. Do you enjoy wild parties? Nope.

3550. Have you ever paid for something priced more than $5.00 in only change? Noo.

3551. Is rascism still a big part of our culture? Yes. You’re in denial if you think it doesn’t still exist. 3552. A drawing was shown to a person. The drawing showed a black man in a buisness suit standing next to a white man holding a razor. The person who saw this drawing was white and was asked to describe it to a second white person who had not seen it, who described it to a third, and so on. By the end of six rounds the final report often placed the razor in the hand of the black man and it is claimed he is waving it threateningly. What do you think of thiss? There’s a whole test and study on this type of thing. I remember discussing it in one of my psych courses. 3553. How many famous people cxan you name who committed sucicide?> Too many. :( 3554. Do you have OCD? No. 3555. Are you more anxious or relaxed? Very anxious. Insecure or secure? Very insecure. Socialble or with drawn? Very withdrawn. Original or conventional? Hmm. 3556. Are you more emotional or calm? Emotional. self pitying or content? Self-pitying. Fun loving or sober? You can be fun loving and sober... Imaginative or down to earth? Both. 3557. Are you more Friendly or aloof? I’m polite and friendly, but I’m not like outgoing and sociable. adventurous or cautious? Cautious. Broad or narrow when it comes to interests? Broad. recptive or closed to new ideas? I’m open to hearing new ideas and opinions. I don’t have to agree, but it doesn’t mean I’m not open to hearing them. 3558. Are you more good natured or irratble? I’m an irritable person.   soft hearted or ruthless? Soft hearted. well organized or disorganized? Disorganized with life. Dependable or undependable? I used to think I was dependable, but I wouldn’t say that now. 3559. Are you more courteous or rude/ I’m courteous. sympathetic or tough minded/ I can be both. hardworking or lazy? I have no motivation or drive anymore. ambitious or easy going? Generally pretty easy going. I try to be. Anxiety Inscurity Emotionalism and Self Pity are traits of a neurotic personality. Sociable, fun loving, friendly and adventurous are traits of an extraverted personality. orignality, imaginative, broad interests, and receptive are traits of an Open personality. Good natured, soft hearted, courteous, and sympathetic are traits of an agreeable personality. Well organized, dependable, hardworking and ambitious are traits of a conscientious personality. 3560. Do men and woman have little or a lot in common? Depends on the people. A woman or man could have a lot in common, but that same woman or man could have little to nothing in common with another woman or man. It all just depends. 3561. Do you feel like any of the teachers you've ever had have REALLY cared about educating you to think for yourself? Yes. I had a version of Mr. Feeney. Do you tend to try harder if they DO care? It makes a huge difference when the teacher genuinely wants to teach and help you. 3562. Have you ever been stereotyped? Yeah. As what? For my disability. 3563. Have you ever been dsicriminated against? No. For what? 3564. How often is your school and/or job closed due to weather? Done with school, no job. 3565. Who do you know that you believe does not masturbate? I don’t care to know. 3566. Does a cloned human being have a soul? Watch Pet Semetery or something of the sort and see what you think. ha.

Why or why not? You can’t clone the outside, but they’re not going to be the same person. That’s just not something you can clone. A lot of factors go into making a person who they are. 3567. Finish the sentance: As the world turns..I only have one concern...that: I don’t know. 3568. What group in history has been the most oppressed? All groups have. 3569. Have you read any biographies? Yeah. Whose? I’ve read several for school. 3570. What are you obsessed with? I’m not obsessed with a person, but I do love me some Alexander Skarsgard. ;) 3571. Break out your decoder ring..(no hints this time)! t3ii9 8 i9f3 697 29h5 697 53ii j3 6974 hqj3? 3572. Do you crack your: knuckes? Yes. neck? Yes. back? No.

other? Yeah, my arms and wrists. 3573. Of the following powers which 2 would you pick for yourself? The ability to fly, breathe under water, turn invincible, change into animals, freeze and restart time, never gain weight unless you want to, heal people with your touch, have orgasms that last for an hour Fly and restart time. 3574. Do you chew your penciles and pens? No. 3575. Can you tell the exact point where your back ends and your butt begins? Yeah? 3576. When you are bored do you picture everyone eround you naked? No. 3577. What are some great holiday gift ideas for Depends entirely on the person. You really have a tendency to group people and generalize.

guys: girls: 3578. Who looks better naked, men or woman? That depends on your preference. 3579. Do you sit in chairs or fall into them? I’m always sitting. 3580. Has anyone ever: screamed your name during sex? moaned your name during sex? 3581. Hershey's kisses: mint, almond, hugs, plain. other? Mint, plain, and the candy cane ones. 3582. What's the best slurpee flavor? I used to always get Coke and cherry together. I haven’t had a Slurpee in years, though. 3583. What are five movies that you think someone would have to be living under a rock in iceland to not have seen? The Marvel and DC movies, honestly. 3584. Of these words, which ones are funny: beets? cumquat? pit? Piss-capades? fuzzy? What are some other funny words? 3585. Do you give good massages? I’ve never given one. 3586. What songs have been 'stuck' in your head? Nothing at the moment. 3587. What don't most people know about your job? I don’t have a job. 3588. Is there anything you won't say unless someone else says it first? Initiate most conversations apart from my family. 3589. Do you need a little chrsitmas? I still have my decorations up in my room... ha. 3590. Fake or real tree? Real. 3591. Is your refridgerator running? Yeah. You know what to do. Nah, I don’t feel like running after it. 3592. How can you explain when there are few words you can choose? What. 3593. Who can it be now? I wonder who they’re talking about in that song. 3594. Where HAS Joe Dimaggio gone? *shrug* And why does our nation turn it's eys to him? 3595. How often do you get headaches? Maybe a handful a month. It varies. 3596. Have you ever woen fake eyelashes? Yeah. 3597. What could you spend 24 hours ina row doing? I don’t know. 3598. Is it Friday yet? It’s Sunday. 3599. Do you remember There was a time (ahaha) when people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand?/ 3600. Do you talk to inanimate objects? When they’re not functioning properly. Do you try to get them to answer you? ...No. Have they ever answered you? Uh, no. I’d be extremely freaked out if it did.

[bythebigcoolingtower]

I Wrote a Simpsons Script...

Over the last couple of months, when I’ve had time, I’ve tried to write something that was not only better than what’s currently being produced but could also find a place lower down the seasons. I don’t think I’ve been successful but I thought I’d share my endeavors for an important reason: It made me realize how hard coming up with an idea, writing and editing a script for a cartoon was. For some background, I write scripts for films part time and try to sell them, so far (obviously, because I wouldn't shut up about it if I had) I’ve not been able too (partly because it’s tough to sell scripts in England and partly because I don’t have the money/time/resources to make them independently) but I do have some experience in shaping a narrative, the structure of scripts and other techniques, so I’ve not walked into this blind. Whether it’s good or not is your opinion, seriously, feel free to criticize it, if you think it’s bad, tell me, I’m a grown man, I can take criticism. If you like it, that’s allowed too, but the main question is this: What season do you think it’d fit into?

Be warned, it’s 30 pages on Word so it’s a long read, it’s your choice, you don’t have to. For reference: Italics are description, bold is who’s talking, normal is dialogue, (Beside name is ‘Off Screen’, under name is the way the line is delivered).

(Disclaimer: I obviously don’t own the rights to the Simpsons, this is a non-profit idea and simply a writing exercise to keep me amused, so I believe it falls within fair use, please don’t sue! If you want me to take it down, I will.)  

OPENING CREDITS

COUCH GAG: The family sit on the couch, Maggie is a baby’s bottle, Lisa a plastic cup, Bart a glass, Marge a wine glass and Homer a beer mug. They are then filled with drink, Maggie with milk, Lisa with orange juice, Bart with Buzz cola, Marge with Wine and Homer with Duff.

EXT. CHARITY FUN FAIR – DAY

We move down from a clear blue sky past a sign, ‘CHARITY FUN FAIR: WHERE ONLY THE CHAIRTY IS OBLIGATORY’, down into the park which has been taken over by various things.

There’s a puppet show, some games and a stage. It all looks very cost effective, as if they wanted to bare minimum to maximize profits.

Walking around are the Simpson’s, looking a bit bored, except Marge who’s seems disappointed. Lisa holds a brochure about the fair.

MARGE

Fifteen dollars for cotton candy, what charity would charge such high prices?

Lisa consults the brochure.

LISA

‘Quimby retirement homes’.

(she reads more)

He wants a place in Tobago.

BART

I thought he already embezzled funds for that?

LISA

No that was for his golf club membership in Bermuda.

HOMER

(wistful)

I wish I could retire.

BART

What’s stopping you?

HOMER

Burns had us sign contracts in perpetuity in exchange for a second ice machine.

STAGE, CHARITY FUN FAIR – LATER

Quimby is on stage, along with a few others, and has a big smile on his face. Something sits under a sheet on a table beside him. He approaches the microphone to address the crowd, which includes the Simpsons.

QUIMBY

Thank you ladies and gentleman for your tremendous charity. I’m one step closer to getting a holiday home in Trinidad.

There’s scattered applause, murmurs. Quimby doesn’t care, carries on as an assistant walks over with a bucket.

QUIMBY

To show my appreciation I will now draw a winner from this bucket of parking tickets, that’s worth more than the prize in question, this-

Quimby unveils the prize, a toaster oven, has to be told by his assistant what it is.

QUIMBY

Toaster oven, I didn’t want as a gift.

No applause this time, just coughs and confused looks. Quimby draws a ticket.

QUIMBY

Marge Simpson.

The family react with little enthusiasm. Scattershot applause as they move up onto the stage.

QUIMBY

(to Lisa)

Congratulations, Marge.

He shakes Lisa’s hand, she can’t be bothered to tell him, it’s over quickly enough.

QUIMBY

(to his Assistant)

Bundle the cash, my flight leaves in an hour.

Quimby and his assistant leave, the stage is vacated by all but the Simpsons and a reporter, TOM, 20′s, The crowd disperses.

TOM

This is headline stuff, can I get a quote?

LISA

This is your headline? I thought you reported on real news, like your stories on the upcoming winter.

TOM

That was a Game of Thrones review.

LISA

Oh.

TOM

We haven’t printed a real news story since the town got high speed broadband. No one reads the paper anymore.

MARGE

Well, it would be nice to be named in the paper in a context other than: “we apologize for erroneously reporting the death of Homer Simpson”.

TOM

(to Homer)

Oh hey, I thought you looked familiar.

HOMER

Can you print a different picture of me this time? That old one makes me look fat, I’m portly.

TOM

Sure, we’ll send our new guy round later.

LISA

I thought Fred was your photographer?

TOM

He was until 7/11 poached him. They offered him something we couldn’t.

BART

Job satisfaction?

TOM

A wage.

(pause)

Oh and that.

INT. DINING ROOM, SIMPSON HOUSE – NIGHT

The family are sat around the table eating.

HOMER

This is great pasta honey.

MARGE

It’s Shepard’s pie.

HOMER

Do you want the compliment or not?

Moe enters, camera in hand.

MOE

Hey everyone.

HOMER

Hey Moe-

(sees camera)

Are you the Shoppers new photographer?

Moe looks around, stutters.

MOE

Uh... yeah... I sure am.

LISA

How did you get in?

Moe panics slightly.

MOE

Gather round, picture time.

There’s a knock on the door.

MARGE

I should get that.

Marge walks past Moe, who stands awkwardly at the top of the room, to the front door.

DOOR

Marge opens the door to CLIVE BREWER,  38, average looking, gentle.

CLIVE

I’m Clive Brewer, from the Shopper.

MARGE

If your-

Marge turns right to find Moe has gone, then left to see an open window at the back of the living room.

MARGE

Never mind. Please, come in.

DINING ROOM

Marge shuts the front door and walks Clive into the room, then sits back down.

CLIVE

Hi, it’s nice to meet you all. I thought it’d be good to have the toaster oven in the picture.

HOMER

The what?

CLIVE

The prize you won.

Nothing, the family don’t remember it.

CLIVE

Earlier today.

Nope.

CLIVE

It’s the reason I’m here.

HOMER

You should probably just take the picture.

CLIVE

Alright, big smiles.

The family bunch up, Clive takes the picture.

THE SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER

HEADLINE: LOCAL FAMILY FILLS PICTURE SPACE

SUB STORY: FRED PROMOTED TO ASSISTANT MANAGER

INT. GROCERY STORE – THE NEXT DAY (MORNING)

The family are out shopping, Marge reads the newspaper, very proud that they’re on the front.

MARGE

What a great picture, we’ll have to ask Clive for a copy, he’s so talented and nice.

HOMER

Pfft, he’s no nicer than me, Carl, Lenny or Moe.

MARGE

Last week you told me Moe throw a mug at you.

HOMER

(laughs)

Oh, honey, that was only because I hit Lenny in the head with a pool cue to stop him biting Carl after he’d bruised Lenny’s arm in Moe’s annual pain Olympics.

Marge stares at him, doesn’t like any of that.

EXT. SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER – LATER ON

The shopper is housed in a wide, one storey building, Marge’s station wagon is parked outside.

INT. FOYER, SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER – SAME TIME

Marge carries Maggie with her as she stands at the reception desk, a woman, FELICITY, walks over to her.

FELICITY

Hi, can I help?

MARGE

I was looking for Clive Brewer, the photographer?

FELICITY

He should be at his desk. We can look after your baby while you talk to him. We’re running a day care to add a little extra cash until our readership picks up.

MARGE

You are? I didn’t know that?

FELICITY

You didn’t? We advertise it all the time-

(pause)

Oh.

OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

Marge enters what should be a loud bustling office, full of journalists and writers, but instead finds around twenty very unenthusiastic employees, mainly students, not doing much at all.

Clive stands out like a sore thumb, not least because he’s stationed by a window with the sun is beaming through it.

Marge walks over, Clive sees her, smiles.

CLIVE

Marge, hi, I assume you’re here because we referred to Homer as a “buffoon” in the article.

MARGE

Well, he is really more of an oaf but I was actually hoping I could get a copy of the picture you took. It’d be nice to have one were Homer isn’t giving the kids rabbit ears.

She takes out her phone, opens up the picture folder and shows Clive several photo’s as she’s described. The shadow on the wall behind the kids makes them look like characters from ‘Life in Hell’.

MARGE

I just don’t get why people find it funny.

Clive laughs. Stops when he really hears what Marge said.

CLIVE

Sure, I’ll print you off a copy.

Tom, walking past at the time, overhears the conversation.

TOM

The printer here doesn’t work.

CLIVE

It doesn’t?

TOM

No, wasn’t this explained when you were given the tour?

CLIVE

I was supposed to have had a tour?

Tom looks around.

TOM

(covering)

No.

He walks off. Clive sighs.

CLIVE

I guess I can’t print you off a copy.

Marge can see his disappointment, smiles trying to perk him up.

MARGE

Don’t worry, we have a printer a home, you can bring the picture there.

CLIVE

(trying)

Sounds like a plan.

EXT. PARK – THE SAME TIME

Bart, Lisa and an annoyed looking Homer walk around the park, it’s barely been cleaned since yesterday, or the days before that.

HOMER

How many days do I have to do this for?

LISA

Dr. Hibbert said you need to walk for at least an hour a day for the next three months.

HOMER

Three months! What’s the point?

LISA

(concerned)

Dad, he said in your condition you could die at any moment.

HOMER

(grumbling)

That can’t come soon enough.

Lisa gives him an off look, concerned but confused as to whether Homer actually understands.

BART

Why am I here?

LISA

You were supposed to be walking Santa’s Little Helper.

BART

Oh, yeah.

(pause)

I’m sure he’s getting plenty of fresh air.

CUT TO: The basement of the Simpson house, pitch black, SLH barking incessantly.

BACK TO: Homer and the kids walking, Lisa now concerned by the amount of rubbish about.

LISA

Did they even bother cleaning up from yesterday?

They pass a crumpled sign: 2017 CHARITY DRIVE. QUIMBY WANTS A PORSCHE.

LISA

Or last year?

HOMER

Lisa, fly tipping is a part of nature, ever since the caveman.

LISA

It’s destroying the natural environment of the animals.

BART

Looks like there adapting to it.

We pan across the rubbish, which the animals are using, including a family of raccoons operating the toaster oven.

LISA

Well, it’s not right, animals deserve to live with the same rights as us, nature deserves to flourish and not be cluttered by plastics that should be being recycled. I’m going to start a group to clean this place up.

Homer gets down to Lisa’s level, puts his hand on her shoulder to calm her.

HOMER

Lisa, is this the type of thing were you ask me to join and I keep saying no and you just keep asking and interrupting while I’m trying to drink beer and watch TV, until I eventually cave?

LISA

(shyly)

Yes.

HOMER

Then consider me in.

INT. KITCHEN, SIMPSON HOUSE – A LITTLE LATER

Marge carries Maggie into the kitchen, leading Clive through with her.

She puts Maggie in the high chair.

MARGE

Take a seat, I think the printer’s in the basement.

Clive takes a seat at the table, takes his bag off as he sits, from that he takes out his laptop and opens it on the table.

Marge walks to the basement door, opens it, SLH rushes out.

MARGE

Hmmm.

She disappears downstairs. Clive begins clicking through his laptop, trying to find the image.

He goes through various folders, opens one that he hadn’t meant too, it’s full of beautiful shots, landscapes of parks, woods and forests.

Clive opens one, a melancholic look upon his face. Maggie begins laughing.

Turning, Clive sees that it’s the picture Maggie is amused by.

CLIVE

You like it huh?

(pause)

Yeah, it’s alright.

Marge can be heard coming back up.

CLIVE

Let’s just keep it between us.

He backs out of the folder, Maggie stops laughing.

Marge re-enters, carrying a really old looking printer.

MARGE

Here we go. We only use it when Lisa wants to print out protest leaflets. Luckily she’s boycotting paper right now.

CLIVE

I’m sure it’ll work fine.

Marge puts it on the top, plugs it in, it comes on immediately. She hands Maggie the bottle she’s reaching for.

CLIVE

It’s connected. Here-

From his bag Clive takes a ream of paper, hands it to Marge.

MARGE

Do you always carry so much paper?

CLIVE

Oh, I took it from the office.

(pause)

I mean, there not actually paying me.

Marge shrugs, puts the paper in. Clive clicks on the picture, selects print, the process begins immediately.

He backs out of the folder, leaving him on the page with all the folders on.

Quickly the picture prints, Marge is very pleased with it.

MARGE

What a great shot. You really do have a talent.

Clive is non committal, modest.

CLIVE

Maybe.

MARGE

I’ve got the perfect frame for it too, hold there.

Marge leaves Clive sat with Maggie again, she sees the situation, ‘accidentally’ drops her bottle on the laptop, the printer starts up again.

Clive turns, looks panicked once he sees that it’s printing the pictures from earlier.

CLIVE

What are the odds?

One after another they print, Clive tries to grab them as quickly as he can, to hide them but can’t. Maggie laughs.

MARGE (O.S)

It fits perfectly.

Marge enters to see Clive stuffing a couple of the printed pictures into the toaster, she looks suspiciously at him, wondering what he’s up to.

At that moment the printer jams. The final fully printed picture flies out, lands at Marge’s feet.

Putting down the family portrait, she picks up the printed picture, a glorious shot of the early evening.

MARGE

Clive, did you take this.

Clive looks embarrassed, by both his actions and Marge seeing his work.

CLIVE

(nervous)

Yeah.

MARGE

It’s so expressive-

She moves around, fishes another from the oven.

MARGE

They all are. Why would you hide them?

CLIVE

I guess because they remind me of what I had, lost.

MARGE

Please, sit down, tell me.

Clive takes one of the pictures from the toaster, gives it to Maggie, then sits down.

INT. GYM, SCHOOL – 30 YEARS EARLIER

An eight year old Clive sits on a stall.

CLIVE (O.S)

My passion for photography came from my dad.

A photographer stands behind an old camera, readies the shot, beside him is Clive’s dad, DANIEL BREWER, 36, taking multiple pictures.

CLIVE (O.S)

He was always taking pictures of me, the whole family.

MONTAGE - OVER THE FOLLOWING YEARS

Daniel takes pictures of Clive in the bathroom, sleeping, at school, playing sports, as he has his first kiss, first date and even through the window of his first ‘adult sleep over’.

CLIVE (O.S)

I just started doing the same.

Clive takes pictures of Daniel in the bathroom, sleeping, at work, watching sports on TV, watching Clive play sports whilst Clive plays and while Daniel is taking pictures of Clive.

MARGE (O.S)

Are you two still close?

CLIVE (O.S)

We haven’t been close for a while.

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS – DAY, 20 YEARS AGO

Daniel stands in the middle of the tracks, camera ready.

CLIVE (O.S)

He was trying to take a picture of the front of a train.

A train can be heard approaching, Daniel takes his stance.

The train approaches from behind Daniel.

EXT. FUNERAL, CEMETERY – A COUPLE WEEKS LATER

Daniel’s headstone is a camera, his picture is a picture of him taking a picture of the picture taker, presumably Clive.

The family weeps in sadness, as does a now eighteen year old Clive. Still, he continues to take pictures.

CLIVE (O.S)

After that I vowed to take my time in my work and for a while that went well.

INT. HIGH END MAGAZINE COMPANY – TEN YEARS LATER

A happy Clive, now twenty eight, shows off the negatives of his work to his boss, MR. HARTFORD, 44.

He gets the thumbs up, which he takes a picture of.

CLIVE (O.S)

But it didn’t last, with smart phones, people wanted shots quicker and I just didn’t work fast enough.

EXT. TOWN SQUARE – TIME LAPSE, OVER 12 HOURS

Clive arrives in the empty town square to take a picture of a new sculpture, he takes his stance and waits.

Over the course of the next twelve hours, hundreds of photographers, selfie taking tourists and interested locals take pictures.

There’s also a protest about the statue, people with banners and plaques turn up, then the police arrive to stop them, there’s a conversation and then the police join in with the protesters.

Lastly a work crew turns up and removes the statue, Clive is alone again, finally takes the picture.

INT. KITCHEN, SIMPSON HOUSE – THIRTY MINUTES LATER

Marge has sat and listened, she and Clive have also drunk coffee in the interim. Maggie is asleep, holding the picture Clive gave her.

CLIVE

Eventually the work began to dry up, now I’m wherever here is, taking pictures for nothing.

MARGE

Clive, I’m so sorry.

He sits upset, but he’s been like this for a while so it’s almost normal to him.

CLIVE

It’s not the work or money I miss, it’s the feeling. That passion I used to have when I was an eight year old, like there was nothing more important.

(sigh)

I wish I could capture that again.

HALLWAY – AT THAT MOMENT

The door bursts open, an impassioned Lisa enters as SLH bolts out the house.

LISA

(loud, excitable)

Mom, get the printer, were making flyers!

EXT. PARK – TWO DAYS LATER (MORNING)

Lisa has organized an impressive line-up, along with the family, her and Bart’s school classes, Skinner, Willie and Grampa, Jasper and the old Jewish man. Each has a rubbish picker, bag and hi-vis jacket.

Skinner looks annoyed and anxious, walks over to Lisa, who’s reading through her to-do list.

SKINNER

Exactly how many more favors does the school owe you? I feel this is bordering on absurd, especially since you already hijacked the band to play for sick children at the hospital.

LISA

Your right, maybe I have been abusing my power.

Skinner relaxes, but Lisa isn’t done.

LISA

Although I’m quite sure the building shouldn’t be held together with driftwood and crazy glue.

All Skinner’s good thoughts have gone, he groans.

SKINNER

Young lady, I’d like to see you run a school on two hundred and seventy five dollars a month without resorting to crazy glue and criminality.

LATER ON THAT DAY

Everyone is picking rubbish up, rather un-enthusiastically, but slowly the park is looking a little better.

Sat under a tree, watching, is Clive he eats a toasted sandwich. Marge walks over to him.

MARGE

Clive-

(sees the sandwich)

Where’d you get that?

CLIVE

A raccoon gave it too me.

MARGE

Oh.

(pause)

Is any of this inspiring you?

CLIVE

It’s great to watch your daughter care so much about nature and boss around her principal but it feels like something’s missing, I can’t put my finger on it.

Lisa, seeing Marge and Clive talking, has come over.

LISA

Mr. Brewer, maybe joining in will inspire you, being involved with the experience.

Clive stands up, sandwich in hand.

CLIVE

Your right, it’d certainly be more helpful than me just sitting around. Hand me a stick.

In comes a stick, held by Homer, his bag and jacket in the other hand.

HOMER

Have mine.

Clive takes it, Homer runs off, drops the rest of his stuff.

LISA

Dad!

He walks back to Lisa.

HOMER

Lisa, honey, I wouldn’t leave unless it was very important.

LISA

But-

Homer snatches Clive’s sandwich-

HOMER

Yoink!

Then runs off.

CUT TO: Close up, Homer, moments later. He laughs to himself.

HOMER

Got away clean.

He looks around, finds he’s back in the park, gear on. He stares at his legs, accusingly.

HOMER

(to his legs)

I said go to Moe!

Homer looks back up, finds Moe stood there, in full gear.

HOMER

Moe!

(confused)

What are you doing here?

Moe laughs, looks away, remembering.

MOE

Well, you remember the other day, when I was in your house?

He looks back to Homer, who’s gone, his stuff on the floor.

Moe sighs, looks away, finds Homer stood the other side of him, chastising his legs, he looks up.

HOMER

Moe!

(confused)

What are you doing here?

TIME LAPSE – OVER THE NEXT FEW HOURS

Lisa, Clive and the rest pick up what rubbish they can, but it’s a losing battle.

First the other kids leave at three o’clock with the school day over, then the old folks at four being called back for bedtime, then Skinner and Willie leave.

Now with only Clive and the family they face other residents openly fly tipping as they clean up. For everything cleaned three more things are dropped.

It hits early evening, everyone bar Lisa is exhausted.

7:10PM

Maggie is asleep on Marge’s shoulder, even she is yawning.

MARGE

Lisa, I think we should stop for today, we need food and rest. We’ll come back tomorrow.

Lisa puts another can in the bag, knows that Marge is right but has a hard time accepting it.

LISA

(sadly)

But we aren’t even close to half way done and Clive-

She looks across the park, to the tree Clive was sat under earlier, where he is now, grabbing his stuff.

MARGE

It’ll be better tomorrow.

Lisa well’s up.

LISA

But if we don’t do the work today, there won’t be a tomorrow.

In goes another can, her bag splits, the rubbish falls out and she bursts into tears.

The family stand, as sad as Lisa but unable to help her.

From the tree Clive can hear Lisa, he turns and sees her, his eyes ache over her pain, he can feel his own, the rejection, the loss of his father, in the pit of his stomach.

Grabbing his camera, Clive steels up, he aims and takes a picture.

INT. OFFICE, SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER – LATER THAT NIGHT

ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN: The picture of Lisa crying, rubbish at her feet, family beside her. The headline reads: TOWN MUST CLEAN UP ACT.

Alone, Clive writes the story himself.

PRINTING ROOM – LATER

The paper runs through the machines, Clive snaps the process.

At the end of the process, the papers are bundled, Clive snaps it.

INT. BACK OF VAN – EARLY MORNING

Paperboys throw bundles of the paper onto the street for waiting sellers, Clive is in the van handing the papers to them and, of course, taking pictures as he does.

EXT. STREET – MORNING

A young paperboy rides his bike quickly, throwing papers to the doors.

Behind him Clive runs, struggling to keep up and take pictures at the same time.

INT. BEDROOM, CLIVE’S APARTMENT – A LITTLE LATER

Clive sleeps, exhausted, his finger on the resting on the button of his camera which faces him.

INT. LISA’S ROOM, SIMPSON HOUSE – 7:30AM

Marge is waking Lisa up, but Lisa is reluctant.

LISA

(sleepy)

Do I have to get up?

MARGE

No, honey but at least read the paper first.

This intrigues Lisa, she gets up fully and is handed the paper by Marge.

Her eyes light up seeing the headline and picture she reads the story below. The sub headline is: FRED FIRED. PAGES 3-12.

LISA

Do you think it made a difference?

MARGE

I wouldn’t have woke you up if it hadn’t.

EXT. PARK – 9AM

The whole town, inspired by the picture or perhaps feeling really guilty for making an eight year old cry, are out picking up rubbish.

Lisa watches over them, helping herself.

Clive enters the park, having just got back up, Lisa spots him immediately.

LISA

Oh Clive, thank you!

She gives Clive a hug, he half smiles, a little embarrassed.

CLIVE

Wow, I didn’t think it would have so much of an impact.

LISA

Then why did you do it?

CLIVE

Because I didn’t want you to give up, I wanted you to keep that passion, that fight that I lost.

LISA

Do you think you’ll rediscover yours?

CLIVE

Maybe in time, but right now I want to take pictures to show what can be achieved with a passionate spirit.

PICTURE MONTAGE – OVER THE REST OF THE DAY

We start with a picture of Lisa stood in front of a large group of helpers. Lisa working within that group.

Moe, Homer and the other barflies picking up cans and bottle’s of beer.

Skinner picking up bricks. Skinner putting the bricks in his car.

Homer picking up the toaster oven. The raccoons fighting Homer for the toaster oven. Marge, Bart and Maggie helping Homer take the toaster oven. The raccoons crying.

Jimbo, Kearney and Dolph putting together a bin. Then putting Milhouse in the bin.

Shots of people cleaning, the park changing and eventually being clean.

Finally the whole town together in a photograph, in the background is a plane.

5PM

The town talks as it begins to disperse, rolling past the park is a black car, Quimby’s. The window rolls down.

INT. BACK, QUIMBY’S CAR – CONTINUOUS

Quimby, very well tanned, takes off his sunglasses to look at the scene in the park.

QUIMBY

Someone find out what’s happening.

One of his bodyguards exits the car.

Through the window we watch the bodyguard, who is dressed top half in a suit and bottom half in shorts and sandals from the holiday, walk over to Carl and talk to him. He walks back to the car, leans in at the window.

BODYGUARD

Apparently the town came together to clean the park and Lenny’s having an ice cream party, can we go?

QUIMBY

No you moron, but this park thing, that we can exploit.

(thinks)

How much money do we have left from the holiday?

BODYGUARD

Around three hundred dollars sir.

QUIMBY

Perfect.

EXT. SPRINGFIELD MUSEUM OF ART – THE NEXT NIGHT

Lit up and looking good the museum has a stream of patrons entering it.

ENTRANCE – SAME TIME

A doorman stands selling tickets, beside him there’s a sign:

TONIGHT – CLIVE BREWER EXHIBITION (ADULTS: $30, KIDS $20)

TOMORROW – PICTURES FROM YESTERDAYS EXHIBIT.

INT. MAIN, SPRINGFIELD MUSEUM OF ART – SAME TIME

Everyone in town is about, looking at the various pictures on the wall, a photographer, FRED, takes pictures of them.

Lisa stands looking at one of the pictures holding a program from the evening, Clive walks over to her.

CLIVE

What do you think?

LISA

They’re so good, I’m really impressed.

CLIVE

I’m glad you like them. Honestly I’ve never had a crowd this big for my work before, where’s the money going to?

Lisa consults the program.

LISA

It’s going to pay off Mayor Quimby’s tax bill.

CLIVE

Well, I would complain and say something like “if only you could clean up the corruption in the mayors office like you did the park”, but he did pay me two hundred dollars for tonight.

MAN (O.S)

How would you like to make twice that a year?

Clive turns. His old boss Mr. Hartford is stood there.

CLIVE

Mr. Hartford? What are you doing here?

MR. HARTFORD (MAN)

We were in town to do a story on small town mayoral corruption, until Mayor Quimby paid me fifty dollars not too. Then we saw the sign, figured we’d see your work.

CLIVE

And?

MR. HARTFORD

It’s impressive, so how about coming back on staff?

CLIVE

Last time we spoke you said as long your daughter had a smart phone you wouldn’t need me?

MR. HARTFORD

(laughing)

Yes, what a four years it’s been.

(serious)

Unfortunately Stephanie has gone from a cute twelve year old to a sullen sixteen year old.

Across the room STEPHANIE, 16, is sat on the floor, headphones on, in her own world.

MR. HARTFORD

The only pictures she takes now are of herself looking unhappy. I need a true photographer, I need you Clive.

CLIVE

Okay, but not for four hundred pound a year.

MR. HARTFORD

How about four hundred pounds a day?

CLIVE

Deal.

He almost snaps Mr. Hartford’s hand off shake on it, which Hartford doesn’t quite understand.

MR. HARTFORD

(thinking)

Did I say a day or a month?

LISA

A day.

MR. HARTFORD

Darn it.

(sighs)

Nevermind, I probably fire you in a couple weeks anyway, I fire everyone eventually.

Mr. Hartford walks off.

MR. HARTFORD (O.S)

Stephanie, you’re fired!

LISA

I guess this means you’re leaving?

CLIVE

If it’s any consolation I probably would have left anyway, the paper hired Fred back.

Fred walks over at the same time.

LISA

Are the rumours true, Fred?

FRED

(staunch)

No comment.

He takes a picture of Lisa and Clive, then leaves.

CLIVE

Thank you, Lisa. You’ve given me a taste of the passion I had for photography and a chance to have another go at making it into a career.

LISA

Well, thank you for helping me clean the park.

CLIVE

I have something to give you.

From his pocket Clive takes a picture, an image of train tracks, hands it to Lisa.

CLIVE

This is the last picture my dad ever took. I want you to have it.

LISA

Clive, I can’t take this.

CLIVE

Why not? It’s just a copy.

LISA

Oh.

QUIMBY (O.S)

Yes, alright now.

Lisa, Clive, and the rest of the patrons turn to see Quimby at a hastily set up mic stand.

QUIMBY

I’d like to welcome everyone, from art lovers to lovers of free food-

Cut to Homer holding two bowls of food that was supposed to be for everyone.

QUIMBY (CONT’D)

To this celebration of our town and it’s ‘do it anyway’ spirit. And now, welcome the man who took the pictures you see here tonight, without permission, Clive Brewer.

Clive looks surprised, walks over to the mic, applauded.

CLIVE

Wow, what a reception, but your applause should be for Lisa, she’s the one who inspired all of this.

He waves Lisa over, drops the mic stand to her size and moves away from it. She gets even greater applause.

LISA

I believe strongly that this town can be truly great if we all work together and to better ourselves each and every day.

She looks across to where Clive was, he’s gone, she looks back at the crowd, all of whom are fully engaged by her words.

Taking a deep breathe she continues on.

EXT. SPRINGFIELD MUSEUM OF ART – SAME TIME

Clive watches Lisa through the window, smiles, takes a picture of her, then moves on.

CREDITS

We see Clive’s journey back to his job, then his work on the job.

We end on three pictures. The first of the front of a train. The second the back end of that same train and the third a picture taken of Clive by a nurse as he lays in a full body cast in a hospital. Big smile on his face.

END

[writing-yj]

Nightwing x Reader: Gift of Mistletoe

@jasnxtodd : 1 and 13 with Dick Grayson? I can’t so see him saying 1 like omg - jasnxtodd

1: “Oh my, look at that mistletoe. How did that get there?”

13: “Kiss me. That’s the only gift I want.”

Word Count: 4279 (I keep getting carried away, dammit)

Warnings: Brush your teeth after this

A/n: Oh my God, it took so long to start doing the Christmas prompts. I’m sooo sorry. I will be using the hero Fortune again, but this Imagine has nothing do with Good Fortune. Enjoy!

It was two days before Christmas Eve around Mount Justice and a good handful of your teammates were getting ready to celebrate. M'gann was obsessively making sure all of the decorations were in place and beautiful. Some were cooking, wrapping presents, and Bart was running around while trying to put a Santa Hat on Jaime. You could smell cinnamon and pumpkin spice candles, and it was a great scent, but it didn’t change how you were feeling.

But you were sitting in the swivel chair in front of the computer Nightwing sat in for missions. You were childishly spinning around and around, not wanting to take part in the festivities. You didn’t like Christmas; it was never a good experience when you were growing up.

“M'gann is probably going to force some Christmas spirit into your soul if you don’t look like you have some holiday cheer.” Nightwing leaned against the console of the computer as he watched you with amusement.

You just sighed and let your spinning slowly come to a stop, facing him when the movement ceased. “I assure you, M'gann will be perfectly fine and intact if I don’t get all happy and jolly for Christmas.”

“You don’t enjoy Christmas?” Nightwing asked louder than he intended to, capturing the attention of some of your friends, including M’gann.

You gave him a light shrug. “Not my favorite holiday; wasn’t a happy time of year for me growing up. All I usually got was a half-hearted ‘Merry Christmas, brat’ and a trashy, half used gift with a card my parents pulled from the garbage bin. They couldn’t have cared less. No Christmas tree, no decorations, no celebration whatsoever. I got used to not having it.” You said casually, not noticing the sudden silence and attention. You rose from the chair, stretching and cracking your back with a yawn. “I do, however, intend on giving gifts; that was one thing I liked doing. It’s fun to see how happy people can get when the rip off the wrapping paper. I’ll see you guys later.”

They all watched you practically glide over to the zeta tubes and you disappeared to wherever you were going. Some of them were very surprised, and Nightwing felt a little sick. He had no idea that you had been treated that way, and now you resented the holiday because of it.

M’gann looked very, very sad. “She never had a good Christmas, but she still wants to give presents…?” 

“That’s Fortune, for you. She’s been putting everyone before herself for years.” Nightwing said and he fell back into the chair you were just spinning in. “I have no idea what to get her. All I know is that we’re all going to get her gifts that are new and definitely not trashy.”

“I’m showering her with gifts and no one can tell me otherwise.” M'gann stated. As your best friend, she was going to make this the best Christmas ever for you. “But what should I get her…?”

“She makes her cards by getting a normal deck of cards and a spell book. I bet she would like those.” Barbara added. “But I think Nightwing should get her something special.” She teased.

Nightwing grunted and blushed, but no one could see it. The team shipped you and him hard. It became a little obvious that he had feelings for you, but you weren’t the best at showing your emotions. Only M'gann knew you felt the same way, but she wouldn’t dare breathe a word of it.

You sat in the very seldom-used Waterfall room with a large stack of your fortune cards, a normal average deck of cards, and a small spell book in your left hand. For Christmas this year, you were making your teammates their own special cards they could use on themselves. They weren’t huge, life-changing cards; just useful, helpful, and entertaining ones. For example, you made three cards for Bart that would fill him with energy instantly instead of him having to eat huge amounts of food. For Conner, you made three cards that would briefly enhance his strength if needed. The time was limited, however; making it longer would have bad side affects, and would physically and magically drain you for a long period of time.

That was why you couldn’t make earth-shattering and over powered cards. It could severely mess things up by creating chaos and, if extensively too powerful, could possible put you into an unresponsive state, or even kill you. In reality, magic was dangerous game. It was best to use it wisely or not at all.

“Hey there, (Y/n).” M'gann greeted you, and you quickly moved her special cards behind you. She knew they were hers, but she wouldn’t dare enter your mind to find out. “What are those?”

“I’m making special cards for everyone,” You told her, gesturing to the average deck of cards compared to the new ones, which were colorful and astoundingly beautiful. “I made these for Conner, these for Bart, these for Jaime, and…” You went on and on, explaining the different cards and what they did for each of your teammates. You didn’t have all of them; making new fortune cards takes a long time, even if they don’t regenerate after they’re used. Luckily, you were able to make more than one at the same time. The cards that do reappear in your decks take up a lot of time; it takes a couple hours to complete just one of those cards.

Nightwing slowly and silently moved down the hall and stood right outside the door. He could hear your conversation and he subtly listened to your soothing voice.

“What cards are you going to make for Nightwing?” M'gann inquired. She smirked at your sudden blush.

If you were with anyone else, your face wouldn’t have changed color in the slightest. “I-I’m not sure yet…” You stuttered and you nervously started flipping through your spell book. “Do you have any suggestions?”

Meanwhile, Nightwing smirked at your nervous voice when his name came up. Could you like him back? He sure hoped so. Nightwing put his hands over his ears when M'gann gave her ideas, and when you put the making of his cards in motion. He made sure to not listen in until he was positive you were finished talking about his cards, lest he spoil the surprise.

“I know it’s a little late to ask, but (Y/n)… What do you want for Christmas?”

Her question caught you completely off guard. You slightly jumped in surprise. “I, uh… I’m not sure. I can’t say I’ve been asked that before…” It was true; no one ever asked you what you wanted for Christmas. Like you said before, all you got were half-used and sometimes broken gifts from your parents when you were growing up. They had no care or love or meaning behind them. “I’ve gotten into the habit of not expecting a real gift before.”

Nightwing’s face fell; he hated the very thought of you being given such a horrible Christmas each year. You didn’t deserve to have such a horrible holiday ever again.

M'gann also looked upset. “Well, you’re getting some great ones this year. Think about opening a Christmas present to see what’s inside. What’s the first thing that comes to mind?”

You frowned and you went deep into thought. “Well, the last thing I got for Christmas was a dirty purple pair of mittens that were almost destroyed by moths,” You muttered, and it was heartbreaking to hear. “I guess a clean and intact purple pair of mittens would would be nice. Oh, and it’d be great to get a spell book with new spells; I’m getting tired of these.” The experience of listing off a wishlist was new and foreign.

M'gann and Nightwing made a mental list, which was rather short compared to an average one, of what you wanted. It wasn’t too far off from what M'gann predicted.

“I wonder what Nightwing is going to get you.” She said with a giggle.

“Hush! What if someone hears!?” You panicked as you shushed her. “With my luck, someone is probably listening in on this conversation!”

Nightwing refrained from snickering at this.

M’gann giggled. “What would you want from him?” She was purely teasing you at this point. “Something special?”

Your stomach churned for a short while. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t.” M’gann stated confidently, and she was right. You could never hate her. She was your best friend. “I’m not hearing an answer to the question, Fortune~”

You hissed something grumpily under your breath. “Do you want my honesty or a lie that will make me feel better?”

“Honesty is the best policy, that’s what you always say.”

You grunted in distaste, but she wouldn’t stop asking until you answered. “Fine… I guess I…” You were having a horrible time trying to spit the words out. “I’d like for him to kiss me. That’s the only gift I want. From him, anyway. If anyone else tries it, I’ll knock their teeth in.”

Nightwing’s eyes widened and his face got red hot in a matter of seconds. So you did like him back! He’d be jumping for joy if he wasn’t trying to hide. Now he didn’t have to worry about your rejection or getting slapped in an attempt to sweep you off your feet. Plans and ideas were already zooming through his head.

You jumped when M’gann suddenly squealed with glee. “I can’t believe you finally admitted that! Sure, I knew you liked him, but you want him to kiss you! Oh my goodness, I can’t even-”

A sharp glare from you made her quiet down, but she didn’t stop smiling. 

‘You heard her, Nightwing. Now you can both get what you want.’ M’gann said to Nightwing telepathically. ‘Mistletoe sounds like a good idea.’

Nightwing paled. M’gann knew he was there the entire time; she just let him think he was being sneaky. Nonetheless, Nightwing slipped away and disappeared down the hall, excited to find some mistletoe. Christmas Eve seemed so far away now.

You carried several tiny but gorgeously decorated envelopes in your plethora of pockets as you walked into the party, exactly when the clock struck 7:00 PM. You were late on occasion, but you made sure that you would be at the party on time no matter what! On the inside, you were buzzing with excitement. You couldn’t wait to see what everyone thought of their cards.

“Fortune!” M’gann flew over to you and tackled you in a hug. “You came!”

You hesitantly, but then comfortably, hugged her back. “Of course I did. I said I’d come and I practically live here anyway.”

She pulled away and grabbed your hand. “Come on and join the party!” She almost dragged you along and you had to break into a jog to keep up. M’gann sure was excited.

M’gann led you into the lounge where the party was officially being held. You stared in awe at the huge Christmas tree that was lit up with amazing Christmas light and the ornaments were dazzling, but there was a small box of ornaments on the table that seemed more special than the ones on the tree. Another table had some punch and desserts, and another had food that was of healthy sustenance.

You were intrigued by the mass amount of wrapped gifts under the tree, and you decided to not put the envelopes with them; the cards could easily get lost in the pile. It took a lot of hard work to make all those cards and you were not going to let it go to waste.

Despite being on time, everyone was already there. Well, most of them lived in the Cave, so it made sense. Their faces lit up when they saw you and you were met with a chorus of greetings. You smiled in return, but you were still admiring the decorations. “It’s amazing…” You whispered to yourself. Everything felt so bright and cozy.

You felt Nightwing’s presence behind you, and you turned around to greet him. “Hello, Nightwing.” You said with a grin. He looked just as good as he always did, and your heart skipped a beat or two.

“Nice to see you here, Fortune. Are you having fun yet?” He replied smoothly. He wasn’t going to tell you (yet) that you looked great tonight. 

You nodded vigorously and you looked around you again. “I had no idea Christmas was like this. I don’t think I ever seen a decorated Christmas tree in person, let alone all of these decorations.” You lightly brushed your hands against the sharp pine needles.

Nightwing’s heart twinged in his chest. You never saw a Christmas tree in person? He inwardly cursed your parents for raising you in such a way. “Trust me, they can get a whole lot bigger. I can take you to see the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree tomorrow, if you like.”

Your eyes widened. “They can get bigger than this?” This was astounding news to you. “I’d love to see it!” Just the thought of a bigger Christmas tree made you more excited.

The chatter of the party livened up and you looked over at anyone else. M’gann was giving everyone their own ornament, which had their symbol on each one. You didn’t exactly have a symbol, but you did wear unique colors, so that’s the kind of ornament M’gann gave you with care.

“I’m putting mine here!”

“No, mine is going to go there! Pick another spot!” The younger boys argued over who got to put their ornaments where, despite their being plenty of room for two times as many ornaments.

Nightwing, with his own ornament in hand, walked ahead of you and gestured for you to follow. “Come on; it’s time to put our ornaments on the tree.” He gave you a warm smile and you followed without a second thought. 

You were the last one to hang a special ornament, and the rest of the team watched you with smiles on their faces. It was obviously your first time decorating a Christmas tree, and it was cute how Nightwing was standing close.

“So you just… pick a branch and hang it there? What if it falls off?” You fretted.

Nightwing chuckled and reassured you, “That’s what the hooks are for. They usually don’t fall off after you hang them.” He gently grabbed your hand and lifted it up to a branch. You hung your special ornament on the empty branch and your smile was brighter than the tree itself.

M’gann subtly took a picture of the intimate moment with an almost silent giggle.

Both you and Nightwing moved away, but you accidentally bumped Bart’s ornament and it fell, shattering on the floor. You gasped so hard that you coughed, and everyone went completely silent. 

“My ornament…” You barely heard Bart whimper, and you felt so guilty.

“Oh my- I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to break it!” You almost panicked, but you calmed down just as fast. “Ugh, I’m an idiot.” You muttered and you skillfully whipped out a card. You threw it at the broken ornament with perfect accuracy and it fixed itself instantly; it even went back up to the branch it hung from.

“My ornament!” Bart exclaimed in relief, and you chuckled. It gave you quite the scare there, and your heart was pounding from it.

Nightwing threw an arm around your shoulder and pulled you to his side. “Now we can check tree decorating off the list. I think gift giving is next.” He smirked and couldn’t wait to put his plan in motion. 

The moment you sat down on one of the couches, a hearty pile of presents was put on your lap, all of which were from different people. M’gann gave you more than one, just like she intended. “These are for you!” Barbara beamed before passing out more gifts.

You were overwhelmed with happiness at the sight of all the gifts. They were for you. They were wrapped in beautiful wrapping paper, bows and all, and all of them were new. Tears welled up in your eyes and you removed your mask, a rare action over yours, and you wiped them away with a quiet sniffle. Everyone’s gaze snapped over to you and you felt a little embarrassed.

“What’s wrong, Fortune?” Cassie asked before Nightwing got the chance to.

You quickly wiped away the tears that just kept coming and said, “I’ve never gotten gifts like these on Christmas. Th-this is no nice of you guys,” You sniffled again. “Hell, I’m being given actual presents for the first time instead of junk for Christmas.”

You wept for a few moments longer and Nightwing wrapped his strong arms around you, pulling you to his chest. A series of ‘aww’s echoed around the lounge. Eventually, you were encouraged to open them up, and you did exactly that.

Nightwing laughed when you at first tried to take off the wrapping paper as carefully as you possibly could. He told you that it was okay to rip it, and when you were still hesitant, he ripped open one of his own gifts as a demonstration. From then on, you followed the lead of everyone else in the art of opening presents.

You never got presents such as these. You were overjoyed at the three new spell books you got; two from M’gann, one from Jaime. You got a holographic deck of cards from Bart, which you absolutely loved, and a shiny gold-accented deck from Karen. Barbara gave you a purple and intact pair of mittens and you nearly squealed with delight when you saw them. The rest of your gifts were just as amazing.

You treasured all of your presents, putting them into a neat pile, as you cleaned up everyone’s wrapping paper with a select few cards. After your threw them all out, you exclaimed, “Oh! I haven’t given you all of your presents yet!”

Everyone sat back down almost immediately, excited to see what you came up with. The amount of tiny envelopes you pulled from your pockets was unreal, and you ended up with two handfuls. In two smooth movements, all of the card envelopes flew over to their recipients, and the whole team was impressed.

With a smug smile, you plopped down next to Nightwing as you almost vibrated with exhilaration. Nightwing was confused as to why he didn’t get any, but his confusion dissolved instantly when you dropped his envelope in his lap.

“Whoa! You made these!?” Cassie was stunned as she looked at her three cards. “Do they work like yours?”

You had to stop in the middle of your confirmation in order to be heard over Bart’s unintelligible shriek of happiness. “Yup, just like mine.” You then turned and directed to everyone. “All you have to do is put the card above your heart for it to take effect. Use them wisely; they’re limited edition.” You chuckled at your own joke.

The team admired their cards, occasionally asking what they did if they didn’t understand. You looked at Nightwing; he hadn’t opened his cards yet. Instead, he was looking at you. “Nightwing?” You snapped your fingers in front of your face. When Bart’s ornament started to fall apart again, you threw a more permanent card at it to prevent it from breaking it again. 

Nightwing quickly shook his head and snapped out of his haze. “Sorry; lost in thought. Yes?”

“You haven’t opened your cards yet.”

He looked down at the envelope and ripped it open in seconds. The words on the bottom of the card, paired with a picture of his mask, read, “For a time when a cover is needed whilst your disguise is null.”

“It’s for when you need to conceal your identity in case you don’t have you mask or sunglasses.” You said and you nervously rubbed the back of your neck. “I know it’s not the best idea, but-”

“These are awesome.” He told you gratefully. “And so useful, too. They’ll be a lifesaver, I guarantee it.” 

Nightwing’s words made your worries go away, and you were glad that your hard work paid off. You were scared that he wouldn’t like them, but now there was nothing to fear. Well, when it came to the cards, that is.

The festivities made your view on Christmas do a complete 180. You no longer dreaded the jolly time of year, instead, you couldn’t wait until next Christmas. You were full of holiday food, junk food and normal food alike. It was an unforgettable experience with the family that cared for you.

It was 11:58 PM, just two minutes from midnight and Christmas Day. Some of your teammates were fighting to stay awake, but you were used to not sleeping until the wee hours of the morning, and you were perfectly fine with staying up this late.

“(Y/n), come look at this.” Nightwing whispered to you, standing up and smirking slightly. You were slightly puzzled, but you got up anyway.

You didn’t notice M’gann quietly getting the attention of the others, and although they had no idea what was going on, they had a hunch. After all, Gar spotted Nightwing hanging up some mistletoe that everyone else so happened to avoid.

11:59 PM, your watch read. “Nightwing, where are we going?” You wanted to know. He then suspiciously stood beneath the door frame, looking more nervous than you had ever seen him. 

“I uh… I don’t think I’ve given you your Christmas present yet…” He clearly fidgeted, and you saw it immediately. 

Earlier, your barely noticed that you didn’t get a gift from him. You were too busy being thankful for the presents you got. You knew that you were fortunate (you secretly made that pun in your head) enough to get one gift, let alone many more, and you didn’t expect to get one from all of them. Never in your life did you ask for more than one gift, so you weren’t going to ask him if he got you one, too.

“Oh, I didn’t really notice. Y-You don’t need to give me one…” You suddenly blushed when you remembered what you told M’gann about what you wanted.

You watch beeped quietly, and you looked down at it. 12:00 AM. It was officially Christmas morning.

Nightwing made sure that you saw him look up, and you did the same. “Oh my, look at the mistletoe. How did that get there?” You could tell by his tone of voice that he was the one who put it there, but you were too focused on what mistletoe meant. Just because you didn’t grow up with a real Christmas, that didn’t mean that you didn’t know what you’re supposed to do under mistletoe.

The man of your dreams put a hand on your cheek and wrapped an arm around your waist, and he pulled you to him. “Merry Christmas, (Y/n).” He whispered, and he gave you the sweetest kiss you could ever dream of.

Nightwing’s lips were slightly chapped against yours, but you couldn’t care less. You were kissing your crush for crying out loud, why would you care if his lips are chapped or not? You kissed back after overcoming the general shock of it, and sheer joy coursed through your veins.

You sighed and slowly moved away from him, resting your forehead against his. “Merry Christmas to you, too, Nightwing.” Your team leader grinned back at you with his eyes filled with the love he had for you.

The moment was suddenly interrupted by the elated squeals and shrieks of the other girls. “They finally kissed! Oh my God they, did!” You couldn’t tell which one of them it was; they were all going crazy at once.

Both of you turned as red as Rudolph’s nose at the sudden attention and loss of privacy. You instinctively grabbed his hand, and he weaved his fingers between your own.

After all of the excitement faded away, and everyone started to wind down for bed, you and Nightwing sat on the couch in front of the fire. His arm was around your shoulders and you were cuddled up against him. The relationship you day-dreamed became reality, and it was the best Christmas ever.

You thought it over, and then you frowned. “How’d you know that’s what I wanted?”

“I heard you and M’gann talking about it.” Nightwing’s smirk was pure evil.

You gasped. “You were listening to us!? You little-”

“But aren’t you glad I did?”

His question had you skidding to a halt. With some quiet grumbling, you replied, “Yeah, I guess I am… But eavesdropping isn’t nice!”

Nightwing’s laugh sounded like a melody. “I’ll keep that in mind for next year.” He sighed and rested his chin on top of your head. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas…” You trailed off with a yawn, and you both slowly drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

Man, you should have seen me type. My fingers were flying before my inspiration could go away. I hope you like it!!!

[therealmaggiemedia]

The Maggie Simpson Show E1810 More then i bargained for

FADE IN

INT, THE SIMPSONS LIVING ROOM-EVENING

Maggie and Homer are sitting on the couch watching TV when Marge enters the room.

MARGE

Bad news everyone our fridge has broken down so all our food has gone well see for yourself!

Maggie and Homer run into the kitchen

HOMER

(SCREAMS) all the food gone!

MAGGIE

Dad it doesn’t matter I heard of this new delivery service!

Maggie shows him a leaflet.

HOMER

Maggie!, if this service is great you know stuff!

FADE TO LATER IN THE KITCHEN

There is quite a lot of food on the table.

HOMER

Maggie! Are you sure you ordered for 5 of us?

MAGGIE

Yes I went to the website and clicked on what everyone wanted, they must have balled it up somehow!

MARGE

(ANGRY) Maggie Simpson! Watch your language!

MAGGIE

Sorry Mom!, I’m just mad I guess but I’m not going to let this bother me the company messed up that’s their look out!

BART

Atta Girl Maggie!

LISA

if we got a big order then someone in town got a small order!

PAN TO THE HARGREAVES LIVING ROOM

Alan is not very happy with his order.

ALAN

You call that ordering Lilly?

LILLY

I tried my best Dad!, what else can I do?

Lilly goes to her room feeling very angry!

PAN BACK TO THE SIMPSONS LIVING ROOM

Maggie Lisa Bart Marge and Homer are eating the meal in front of the TV.

MAGGIE

That was too much for me! (BURPS)

HOMER

Not me I can go on forever!

BART

Well you always do eat more then the rest of us!

HOMER

(ANGRY) I’ll show you who eats more!

He strangles Bart Marge Parts them.

MARGE

Stop it you two!

MAGGIE

That told them Mom!

LISA

Yes it did!

INT, THE KINDERGARTEN-THE NEXT DAY

Maggie and the rest of the class are listening to Mr Johnson.

JOHNSON

And today class we have a new student joining us that Principal Skinner will bring in to us shortly!

Then Principal Skinner enters the room followed by a girl wearing polka dot trousers and a T-shirt says I’m over it.

SKINNER

Students there is a new student joining us today that Mr Johnson has already told you about, This is Skye McDonald treat her like any other student, Mr Johnson she’s all yours!

Principal Skinner leaves the room.

JOHNSON

Class  please welcome Skye!

MAGGIE

I know her from when I was in Hospital we shared a ward that is all!

SKYE

I’m Skye I’m five years old I’m originally from New York my family moved here looking for a fresh start and I am looking forward to getting to know you all!

JOHNSON

Thank you Skye!, you may sit down!

Skye sits next to Maggie on the carpet.

MAGGIE

Skye! Remember me don’t you?

SKYE

Yes I do Maggie!

JOHNSON

As its Skye’s First day here I would like someone to show her round!

Maggie rises her left hand.

JOHNSON

Thank you Maggie!

Maggie shows Skye around the classroom.

MAGGIE

So we have a dollshouse, Sandbox painting area and the classroom bathroom!

SKYE

Yeah do you have a snack area at my old school we had a snack area!

MAGGIE

No we bring our own snacks and eat them outside on a nice day otherwise we stay in the classroom!

SKYE

Right but I don’t have any snacks!

MAGGIE

Not to worry you can share mine since we’re friends Skye!

SKYE

Thanks Maggie!

Then the bell rings for Recess and they all exit the class.

EXT, PLAYGROUND

Maggie and Skye are sitting on a bench sharing snacks Maggie’s other friends have been watching them for sometime and Judith grows Jealous of their friendship.

JUDITH

Look at them sitting there like butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths I don’t get how she knows Skye!

LILLY

Simple when Maggie had an accident last week on the jungle gym she met her in Hospital!

JUDITH

(REALLY ANGRY)  I can’t stand it, time to do something about it!

LILLY

Judith!, why can’t you be happy for Maggie!, you know she has a hard time making friends because of her autism!

Judith takes no notice of Lilly and walks over to Maggie and Skye who are sitting on the bench sharing apples then Judith walks up to them.

JUDITH

Look what we have here. Its Skye isn’t it you know what I hate Polka Dots what made you buy that is beyond me!

SKYE

My Dad bought them for me!

JUDITH

Well he doesn’t have good taste lets say that!

Then Skye stands up

SKYE

My Dad does have good taste!

JUDITH

Hows this for taste!

Judith pushes Skye right in a puddle making her wet and muddy.

Skye gets up and runs in the school crying.

MAGGIE

Skye!, Wait!

She turns to Judith

MAGGIE

(ANGRY) You Judith Robertson!, are a bully!

Maggie goes inside the school

INSIDE

Maggie is looking for Skye she sees her crying in the corner of the Corridor  Maggie walks up to her and cuddles her.

MAGGIE

Skye! I’m sorry about what Judith did, she’s just jealous of our friendship!

SKYE

May Dad will kill me if he sees me dirty!

MAGGIE

Not to worry!

IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM

Skye is passing her clothes to Maggie and Maggie is washing them in the sink.

SKYE

Are you sure this will work Maggie!

MAGGIE

Trust me I stole this from Groundskeeper Willie!

Maggie  takes Skye’s clothes out of the sink and dries them on the fan Heater after a few minutes her clothes are dry Maggie passes them over to Skye!

MAGGIE

Here you go Skye!

Then Skye comes out of the cubical now wearing her clothes.

SKYE

Maggie! I can’t think you enough!, I know how I can thank you why don’t you come to my house for Dinner, here I’ll give you my address!

Skye writes her address on a piece of toilet paper and gives it to Maggie!

MAGGIE

I’ll be there Skye!

INT, THE MCDONALD’S DINING ROOM-EVENING

Maggie is sitting next to Skye and Skye’s family.

MCDONALD

I’m glad I have finally got to meet you Maggie!, Skye has told us all about you!

SKYE

I told them you were my friend because you are!

MAGGIE

Yes we are!

MCDONALD

Now who would like to clear the plates away?

Maggie gets up and clears everyone’s plate away.

MCDONALD

Nice Manners!

Then Maggie comes back to the table and takes her seat next to Skye.

SKYE

Maggie! You want to see my bedroom?

MAGGIE

Sure Skye!

They both go upstairs together.

IN SKYE’S BEDROOM

Maggie sees she doesn’t have many toys or even a computer.

SKYE

Maggie I know what your thinking why don’t I have a computer or  lots of toys well its simple my parents don’t have much Money so they get me what they can!

MAGGIE

hmm I might have got some old toys at my house I don’t play with anymore!

SKYE

You’d do that for me?, I don’t know how to feel right now!

Skye sits on her bed to think.

MAGGIE

I’ll see what I can do my room needs a sort out anyway!

INT, MAGGIE’S BEDROOM-NIGHT

Maggie has just got home from Skye’s House Maggie is sorting out her toys to give to Skye!, sxhe has made two piles on her bed ones she is keeping and ones she is giving to Skye!

MAGGIE

She should be happy with these I never play with these anymore!

FADE TO LATER IN MAGGIE’S BEDROOM

Maggie is now in bed wearing her Pajamas there is a bag of toys on the floor that she will give to Skye!

FADE TO NEXT MORNING

Its 7am and Maggie wakes up.

MAGGIE

Well time to hit the shower and have breakfast then deliver the toys to Skye!, I feel like Santa on Christmas eve!

IN THE SIMPSONS KITCHEN

The Simpson are having Breakfast and are sitting at the table Maggie has had her shower and is now wearing her normal clothes down by her feet under the table there is a bag of toys.

MAGGIE

I’m going to give something away to day toys if you want to know!

HOMER

Maggie!, I have told you many times don’t give things away you sell things you don’t want then you earn money!

MAGGIE

Yes, but there a girl at school called Skye and her family doesn’t have much money and I kind of feel sorry for her so I’m giving her my old toys!

LISA

I’m glad you feel that way Maggie! it is better to give and it makes you feel good!

BART

Says you sister!

MAGGIE

Anyway I’m going to wait outside for the bus!

She drags the bag of toys across the floor and outside.

EXT, SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, PLAYGROUND-DAY

Maggie is talking to Skye she gives her a big bag of toys.

SKYE

thanks Maggie!, and I have something for you!

Skye walks up to Maggie and gives her a big hug

SKYE

I can’t thank you enough really I can’t!, I know how to thank you for the toys!

She goes into her pocket and gives her five dollars.

MAGGIE

Skye!, I can’t take your money you need it more then I do!

SKYE

Tell you what then I’ll pay for your lunch at lunchtime hows that!

MAGGIE

Okay, I’d shake your hand but Covid!

SKYE

We shouldn’t be hugging either but who gives a flop!

Skye hugs Maggie again

IN THE DINING ROOM

Skye is at the counter getting two lunches Maggie is sitting at a table near the window waiting for her then Skye gets the lunches trips and spills the food all over Maggie  Everyone in the dining room lautghs at them both Skye Walks up to Maggie and apologizes for spilling ther food on her.

SKYE

I am really sorry Maggie!

MAGGIE

Skye its okay accidents happen!

SKYE

I’ll get you something to clean yourself up!

Skye goes to the counter and asks for a something to clean Maggie

SKYE

Excuse me Sorry to bother you do you have something to clean my friend up?

DORA

Sure here’s some paper towels!

SKYE

Thank you!

Skye walks over to Maggie and cleans her up.

SKYE

I’ll clean you up the best I can its the least I can do and once again I am really sorry!

MAGGIE

Skye!, its fine our next lesson is swimming with Mrs Lyons anyway!

SKYE

Is Mrs Lyons nice?

MAGGIE

Yes she is she is  very nice!

AT THE POOL

the kids are sitting at the of the pool with their feet in the water Lilly however is wearing socks as she doesn’t want people seeing her feet.

SKYE

That’s odd Lilly didn’t take her socks off!

MAGGIE

She has a foot problem but she’s okay about it!

Then Mrs Lyons takes the lesson

LYONS

Right Class we are going to play with the beach ball and I know everyone loves this but first I see a little girl who I haven’t met yet she swims towards her.

LYONS

Hi I’m Mrs Lyons!, asnd you are?

SKYE

Skye McDonald!

LYONS

Happy to have you in my class I’m sure you’ll enjoy it!. Okay everyone in the pool.

They get in Skye jumps in splashing Gerald

SKYE

I’m sorry I really am please don’t hurt me!

GERALD

Oh boy what a wuss!

Gerald swims away from her Maggie swims up to Skye

MAGGIE

Skye are you okay?

SKYE

I splashed Gerald and I thought it was going to hit me like at PS 119 IN New York!

MAGGIE

Skye its fine I’m here I won’t let anyone hurt you, your my friend and that’s good for me!

SKYE

Maggie!, its awful having autism!

MAGGIE

Skye!, I knmow about that because I have it come here !

They both cuddle

At the other side of the pool Judith is not liking what she is  seeing Lilly however is not getting involved.

JUDITH

Look at them two now Maggie is caring for her!

LILLY

Perhaps they have a good friendship!

JUDITH

let them wait till shower time then we’ll have fun!

Lilly shakes her head and swims away.

LYONS

Alright Class!, time to get out of the pool and havev a shower and get dressed!

SKYE

Uh oh Showers I don’t deal with that very well!!

MAGGIE

Skye!, it’ll be fine just stand next to me!

SKYE

Well okay Maggie!, as you are my friend!

IN THE GIRLS CHANGING ROOM

they are all in shower cubical with frosted class Skye feels safe knowing nobody can get to her.

SKYE

Maggie! You were right its safe in here!

Judith on the other hand has decided to make Skye’s life a misery she gets out of her own Cubical her bits are blurred  she walks up to Skye’s cubical opens it and pours hot water all over her.

SKYE: (SCREAMS)

Skye runs out of the cubical and out of the changing room wearing nothing,

MAGGIE

Skye!, oh my god I hope she hasn’t  done what I think she’s done!

Maggie grabs her towel and one for Skye Maggie exits the room wearing a towel around her she walks down the corridor looking for Skye she sees her and she puts a towel around her.

MAGGIE

Skye!, What happened?

SKYE

Judith put hot water on me!

MAGGIE

Lets go back to the changing room and get dressed I’ll sort Judith out!

IN THE GIRLS CHANGING ROOM-

the girls have  now got dressed Maggie is angry with Judith and she will sort her out.

Maggie walks over to Judith and grabs her T-Shirt and pins her to the wall.

MAGGIE

(ANGRY) You pick on Skye again and I’ll tell everyone not to buy Robertsons Jelly!

JUDITH

So you’d ruin my Dad’s business for the sake of that!

She points at Skye.

MAGGIE

Skye is the most nicest person I have ever met she might have problems but I want her as my friend!

LILLY

I do too!

EMMA

So do I she seems nice!

MAGGIE

She is nice Emma!

JUDITH

You want to be friends with her so be it!

Lilly and Emma Join Maggie and all three of them hug Skye.

SKYE

oh your showing you like me, well okay!

They all hug again

THE END

.

[mychristopherstokes66world]

saac Kappy, the “Thor” actor who choked Paris Jackson and accused Steven Spielberg of abuse, has died after jumping off of a bridge in Arizona. Kappy’s death was confirmed in a statement from the Arizona Department of Public Safety on May 14. Kappy killed himself on May 13. The ADPS said that troopers were called to milepost 185 at Transwestern Road at 7:26 a.m. after hearing reports that a man had jumped from a bridge over the interstate in Bellemont, Arizona, and had been hit by a car. At the time of his death, Kappy was 42 years old. Bellemont is located around 10 miles west of Flagstaff. revelations” about his character. Kappy said that despite believing himself to be a good person, the truth is that he had “not been a good guy.” Kappy said that he has used people, owed money, dealt drugs and “abused” his body with narcotics, cigarettes and alcohol. Kappy said that he “supposedly” wanted to make America great, but neglected to make himself great. He remarks about one specific recent incident that caused him trauma but does not elaborate on what happened. Kappy said that the act “cost him everything.” He goes on to say that he had “gambled away” his future. In another section, Kappy makes reference to the “Q movement.” Kappy says he is “so sorry” for having “brought shame upon the greatest military operation of all time.” Kappy says that he outed pedophiles who were former friends but that he “remained in their sphere for much longer” than he should have. Kappy makes a direct reference to President Donald Trump saying, “I have told people in the Trump administration that I am willing to admit to my many crimes in a public setting, and committed to execution, in a public setting. A nation cannot suffer its traitors, and I am no exception.” Kappy concludes by saying that he squandered his talents and that he has “betrayed” Jesus. The Arizona Daily Sun reports that two teenagers who were driving close to where Kappy took his own life, attempted to physically restrain him. Arizona Department of Public Safety told the Daily Sun, “We don’t know why Mr. Kappy took his own life.” Local authorities have described Kappy’s case as closed. There were no other injuries as a result of Kappy’s actions. According to Kappy’s IMDb page, he had appeared in small roles in movies such as “Thor” and “Terminator Salvation” as well as having a role in an episode of “Breaking Bad.” Kappy’s last role was in a 2016 episode of “Rachel Dratch’s Late Night Snack.” In his acting career, Kappy was represented by Mitchell & Associates Talent. The band was formed in 2009 in Albuquerque, New Mexico, after Kappy met guitarist Nate Santa Maria when the latter was organizing a karaoke night in a bar, according to a feature in Local Flavor Magazine. In that feature, Kappy said that he had been a viola prodigy and had received a scholarship to the University of Arizona but dropped out at 19 to attend the University of New Mexico. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7029679/Isaac-Kappy-dies-42-Thor-actor-assaulted-Paris-Jackson-commits-suicide.html#i-d45b2856dc19a6cd Why can't I find an article relating his suicide to his whistleblowing on Hollywood Pedophilia? I'm sorry, but this dude always kinda struck me as a loon. Just the live streaming with his face in the phone, his squirrelly voice, unkempt beard and overall disassociated demeanor screamed schizoid drug user who new some hollywood elites and got bored and started claiming he had "insider info" when they most likely just kicked him out of their parties because he was an autistic goober.  What do you think? Was this guy actually legit or did (((they))) got em boys?

Seth Green had him killed for exposing him for being a secret pedo tangler in pizzagate.

A person in his position should have gone undercover and then blown the lid off everything with some real evidence/recordings/etc

They tricked him into betraying his followers by giving away their info and then drugged him into feeling so guilty about it he committed suicide

this was his dead mans switch apparently. 

He posted this somehwere before he died.

https://i.4pcdn.org/pol/1557776898845.webm

https://i.4pcdn.org/pol/1557777568760.jpg

This looks pretty legit yall. Legit gave me chills. A glimpse into that Epstien world.

sadly, if thats his deadman switch, then its not very good

Short of one of the parents going "what the fuck?" it can be too easily explained away as a turkish bath, as ive seen a lot of anons say already, personally i dont buy the turkish bath thing at all, but still its not exactly concrete

https://newsjustforyou1.blogspot.com/2018/07/isaac-kappy-names-pedo-we-got-video-here.html https://newsjustforyou1.blogspot.com/2018/08/isaac-kappy-soon-to-be-arrested-lots-of.html https://newsjustforyou1.blogspot.com/2018/07/mockingbird-workin-out-real-good-isnt.html JOIN US  https://www.facebook.com/groups/qanonreports https://twitter.com/CIACLOWN1 https://www.bitchute.com/channel/ciaclown16661/ I think the article said He FORCED HIMSELF (they're laughing with that one. So smuggies) off the bridge. Also, may I comp you a bump of sushi? He outed Q as being a (((government))) psyop and then he killed himself. Check out Randy Quaid... He's one of the rare few that fought the evil in Hollywood and won. Kappy forced himself off the Transwestern Road bridge onto Interstate 40 where he was struck by a Ford pickup truck, DPS spokesperson Bart Graves confirmed on Tuesday morning. Authorities said two teenagers driving by got out of their vehicle and tried to physically restrain Kappy from jumping, but failed. No one else was injured during the incident and the investigation has been closed. https://azdailysun.com/news/dps-releases-name-of-man-who-died-after-jumping-from/article_90566c46-f81f-524e-8602-2daf555f719d.html

Kappy was also formerly the lead singer of the band Monster Paws. The band paid tribute to Kappy with a brief post on their Facebook page that read, “MP forever Issac. I’ll miss you homie.” The last post on the page advertised a gig for the band in December 2013. In the about section, the band described themselves as sounding “like yet winning something.”

constantly texting Jackson and that she was responding because she was worried that he was suicidal. Eventually, Jackson stopped responding as the messages continued. TMZ says that Jackson eventually blocked Kappy’s number and opted to have armed security with her at all times. Kappy said in a 2011 interview that “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson was among his favorite songs. Kappy was 'ok' for someone who admitted to being 'seduced' by the dark side. Remember him for that AND what he did and tried to do for the rest. Let what happened to him be a lesson to you! This isn't a game, we're playing for keeps and we go all the way on this one... RIP Kappy, you had a conscience and it served the children well... The gamble was guessing that his Hollywood friends were raping kids and that telling the world would be a good idea. After that he has no job and no friends, and very few people believe him because he didn't bother playing along just long enough to do some undercover filming of shady shit for proof. Even if he didn't die, his life was pretty much over. One thing you anons should know, pedos rule the world, most are extremely intelligent and if you mess with them bad things will happen to you. I'm just saying, keep yourselves safe, god will sort them out. I watched a few of his streams. I’m just now learning he died. He was off for sure, but not schizophrenic off. It’s hard to believe he actually died after all the shit he said. I honestly think the Seth green stuff he said holds some water now. Guy had multiple stories of Seth and his wife. One including a hidden room for “the kids” or some shit. They never had kids of their own. Spooky shit Yeah. Maybe I should have been little more clear. Schizo gets thrown around to easily here. He was simply kinda "off". Too many of his videos consist of him ranting for like 2 hours and you're like >"GET TO THE FUCKING POINT MAN. Start naming names an dropping intel." Though I found it somewhat hard to believe, his story about seth and his wife was his most memorable creepypasta.

you're speaking to the one and only Dr. GFA-kken himself! That's right, Dr. GFA-kken, THE undisputed master of psychological torture through slews of mindless questions, has found enough love in my heart to forgive you on behalf of my poor assumptions slash trigger-happy posting patterns. But, speaking of the devil, when the fuck will the next /HTG/ thread show up? I'm pretty sure that the only way to directly communicate with and to A5 is through /HTG/ threads. Ask him about me the next time you see him, he might just tell you something surprisingly important ;)…… or something about my unhealthy obsession with Disney cartoons, who knows? I met him a few times and partied at his house once several years ago. I saw his posts on FB when he first started going gung ho on Trump. Mostly Anti Clinton Crime Family, anti Big Tech, anti ZOG wars stuff at the height of the election. Then I saw him at the bar a while back and told him people had his back (before the Seth Green, Paris Jackson stuff). He was cool, rambled for a bit about politics with me and really didn't seem much different than his old self. That being said he did always seem crazy from the first time I met him. Was always a Schizo kinda dude with his eyes darting all over the place. There may be some truth to the stuff he was saying and it did take courage to take on pedowood. Whatever he knew he couldn't live with it or himself. Wish I had reached out to him again. Feelsbadman. R.I.P Issac.

[troughtonmedia]

My time in county jail

I’ve already touched on the subject but I would like to fill in some of the details of what goes on in county jail.  Your United States government is running the show and they are doing a terrible job!  Then again, wouldn’t you want the criminals to be punished n tortured?  I’m going to write about my personal experience that lasted about 6 months in the year of our lord 2015.

There is no rolling snake eyes to get yourself outta jail in reality!  I was booked in mid April 2015 n this is how it all went down.  First off, there was the arrest.  The cop came at me n said to freeze n put my hands up.  In my diluted mind, I thought I had just won everything.  What you may not understand about me is I’ve had some mental illness problems ever since about 2009.  I was diagnosed Bi-Polar n have been on n off medicine ever since.  Mood stabilizers, anti psychotics.  In fact, while I was serving my time in the Martinez detention facility that year; a mentally ill inmate was murdered by prison guards in Santa Rita over by Dublin, California.  The news made a huge deal of it n the guards were prosecuted.  You must understand, there are some serious problems being sick-in-the-head.  Personally, I blame society for a lot of what goes into my mind but I’m a lot better now.  My story did not make the news n I was just another anonymous inmate trying to make it out alive.  

After about an hour of awkwardly sitting in the squad car at the scene of the crime; the cop took me to the Discovery Bay sheriffs office where I sat on the floor for awhile while handcuffed.  It was then determined I was to be booked in Martinez so I was escorted back to the vehicle n we made the 45 minute drive.  (This uncomfortableness while sitting in the squad car turned out to be nothing compared to what I would eventually witness to which you will read later in the story).  

Now we’re starting to get to the good part, booking.  First off was a mug shot.  In Martinez, you would never guess what they have right next to the camera which you’re looking at!  That’s right, a unicorn n a rainbow!  Then I was forced into a small crowded room with about 50 perps.  There were chairs, a bathroom that had been destroyed, n a television.  You would never believe what was on the television that day!  Bible stories n then the Discovery Channel’s Deadliest Catch.  I believe this was no accident here.  The cops are the fishermen n the perps are the crabs.  It played all night long before my name was eventually called.  I was stripped naked n even had to open up my asshole for these guys. I hate to say it but they weren’t very nice at all n this is where Alice started tripping down the rabbit hole!  

I was then stationed into another room with other individuals n bussed to Richmond, California.  Yes I had chains around my arms, waist, n feet.  If I remember correctly, I was even chained to another person!  Now walking into the Richmond facility kind-of reminded me of a zen garden.  The landscaping was nice n I was carrying a bag of clothing n underwear.  After that, I was assigned a room with some old white dude as my roommate.  I actually thought Richmond was much nicer than Martinez.  There were televisions surrounded by sofas, basketball courts, n individual showers.  I was only there for a day.  One of the deputies told me I was gonna be given a BART ticket home.  Please don’t lie to the mentally ill when they’re in jail.  It’ll just make matters worse!  

The next day I was bussed back to Martinez n shared a cell with a black guy who had just been released from a mental hospital.  Oh, here’s something for you gang bangers make sure you’ve got cash on your person for commissary.  I only had $3 cash in my wallet which was enough for a pencil, some paper, stamp n envelope.  Some days they wouldn’t even let you out of the cell.  Other days you were given about 30 minutes to breath in an outside courtyard.  Yeah, I talked to some of the other guys that were in there.  Most were thieves.  Nobody really gave me any problems.  Back to my mental illness though, the television was showing riots in Baltimore n I had concluded the world was finally coming to an end!  I also thought to myself, fucking awesome, I’m locked in a cell n they are just gonna leave me here with no food or anything.  At this point in time, I decided it was time to escape!  When the nurse n the jailer opened my cell door to give me pills I leaped out n ran downstairs to call my mother n tell her I was escaping!  I was tased to the floor n put into solitary confinement with cuffs around my ankles.  They hurt.

And so began my downward spiral that would put me into the Atascadero State Hospital.  They gave me a formal write-up for trying to escape n a cell to myself.  One thing that was nice about the Department of Corrections was the fact they had some books for us to read.  I found solace in the Jack Reacher books that were available.  Unfortunately, the food was so bad I was throwing it on the walls n in my 6 months of confinement I lost about 50 pounds.  In Martinez, the same weekly menu is brought to your cell day after day.  Breakfast consisted of a milk carton, orange slices, n shitty ass coffee cake along with something else like a bowl of runny oatmeal or microwaved pancakes.  Lunch was made in house.  I hope you enjoy cardboard pizza!  Dinner was the worst though, TV dinners from hell!

What I found to be the worst part of county jail was the simple fact nobody could give you any answers.  This is one of the reasons why I tried to commit suicide.  I do remember somebody sticking something down my throat to make me vomit.  Then I was rushed by an ambulance to a hospital where I was chained to a bed.  A catheter was shoved up my dick n they determined I would survive so they caddied me back to the jail into a room with no toilet or running water for 2 days.  When they finally opened the door, I dove out n they charged me with felony assault!  My fingerprints were taken for the second time n then I was put into D-Row (for the worst offenders).  

I distinctly remember the room.  It had drawings all over it in red.  I initially thought it was made from blood.  Hell, maybe it was!  I was given no blankets or extra clothing for the first 2 days.  Oh, and these jailers were particular assholes.  They slammed a door that would’ve definitely hit me if I didn’t move n also twisted my arms while they cuffed me.  The only nice thing that came out of this was a particularly strong anti psychotic that completely grounded me.  It is called zyprexa.  All the hallucinations that had been plaguing my mind, vanished.  Unfortunately, the damage had been done n now I waited in a cell crossing off every day; week-by-week.

Fortunately, my family stepped in n hired an attorney.  They all thought that I didn’t belong in jail.  They thought I belonged in a mental institution!  Some motions were made in the court n after about 4 months of hell in Martinez I was shipped to Atascadero State Hospital.  Remember when I said the squad car was uncomfortable?  Imagine being stuffed in the trunk of a van with body cuffs n no window for 3 hours!  When I got out the driver told me I would be charged for trying to escape the cuffs!  No joke, what is it with these people?  

I am actually grateful for my time at Atascadero.  It was full of mental health experts n the food was much better but I could tell some folk had been there a little too long.  In a typical day, they would wake you up around 7 in the morning, give you meds, let you watch the morning news, n escort you to the cafeteria for breakfast.  There was even coffee!  Lunch was served in a brown bag n there was also some type of activity.  Atascadero had basketball courts, jungle gym, a track, n large barbed wire fences with guard outposts where they probably had rifles.  Dinner was around 6, we could watch some more television n then we were fed our nightly medication.  

After about 2 months of this, I completed the-tasks at-hand n was sent back to Martinez.  I had to memorize the court room setting n also the charges against me.  Then my parents posted the bail n I was set free.  Over 4 years later n I am still free but not without conditions.  The arson charge was supposed to come off my record after 2 years.  I had to serve 3 years probation.  It is all a giant nightmare but I am doing my best n thought it would be smart to write this down.  

[surveystodestressme]

160.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 37

3501. Is ‘no glove, no love’ your STRICT policy?

i mean, no.  i’m on the pill so i don’t really care

3502. What is the best Epic movie (examples of epics: ben-her, gone with the wind, last temptation of christ)?

oh i don’t know

3503. Finish the sentence.

Hey, Hey we’re the: people.

People say we: suck

But we’re too busy: fucking

The time to hesitate is: never

You’re too: weak

It’s a nice day to: fuck

3504. Have you ever had 'missing time’?

i don’t even know what that means

3505. Have you ever sent an electronic greeting?

i don’t think so

3506. If you could send anonymous tips to people you knew who would never ever find out who sent them who would you send the following tips to?

doesn’t know when to leave: my mom

poor crotch hygiene: uhhh.. i don’t know

talks too much: an old co-worker

band/art/dream is going nowhere: hannah

most likely to get arrested: my brother

needs to get their life together: andy

bad taste in clothes: i don’t know

bad taste in music: paul

needs a hobby: mariann

3507. Are you more likely to download porn or disney movies?

porn

3508. What is it with people?

who knows.

3509. Do you eat too much sugar?

i don’t think so

3510. Imagine you have a band. Let’s name your band.

Adjective:

Animal(plural):

Your band name is (adjective) (animals) Under Glass!

Could be better?

Let’s try again.

Adjective:

Noun (plural):

Your band is (adjective) (nouns) With Puppets

3511. Are you desperate but not serious?

not really.

3512. Was there a time when you were younger and it took less to get you excited?

yeah definitely

What did it take then?

anything really

What does it take now?

study stuff usually.

3513. Remember learning to write in elementary school?

uh huh

We spend 2 years learning to print..then they throw that out the window and teach kids cursive. Why?

because it’s important too

If cursive is so important and easy to read then why aren’t books printed in cursive?

some of them are, actually

Why aren’t cursive computer fonts more popular?

it looks more professional when things are written/typed in cursive so i think more professional websites or books are cursive probably

Why do business forms always say 'please print’?

sometimes cursive is hard to read

Schools are so preoccupied with teaching kids the complicated but traditional skill of cursive writing that more emphasis is put on that than on teaching kids how to clearly express their ideas through writing. I move that cursive writing become a jr. high school elective instead of a grammar school priority. Who’s with me?

i don’t really care either way.  i don’t even think they teach cursive anymore

3514. Can you think of anything else (besides cursive writing) that is unhelpful, yet traditional and unquestioned? What?

religion

3515. Name one female celebrity who you would guess wears size ___ clothing:

0?

5?

12?

16?

20?

3516. Have you ever been to a place where the restrooms were named in a clever way rather than just saying men’s and woman’s? I’ve seen Hens and Roosters, Bart and Lisa, Dudes and Babes…what have you seen?

i’ve seen stuff like that, but i can’t name any right now

3517. What is the 'message’ or 'point behind’:

Fight Club? to fight? idfk

Donnie Darko? people are fucked up

AI?

Minority Report?

Solaris?

A Walk to Remember? you never know where you can find love.

You’ve Got Mail?

3518. have you seen, and what are your thoughts about these movies:

Drumline?

The Hot Chick? lol a classic comedy, i love this movie

Maid in Manhattan?

Star Trek: Nemesis?

About Schmidt?

Evelyn?

The Guys?

Intacto?

The Jimmy Show?

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers? it’s ok

Gangs of New York?

Two Weeks Notice?

The Wild Thornberrys Movie? i used to love the show but i don’t know if i’ve ever seen the movie or not

Smokers Only?

Treasure Planet?

The Santa Clause 2?

3519. START this sentence: ….and I think to myself, what a wonderful world.“

-

3520. What is:

insanity?

normal?

Fahrenheit? a temperature

3521. Tell us about yourself in the third person for a bit:

no.

3522. If someone breaks a law, should they be punished if they did not know it was a law?

yes.  they should be educated on the laws

3523. If it’s so much easier to learn languages when we are very young (and it is, something to do with the developing brain) why do they wait until jr high and high school to teach them?

that’s just how it is.  idk if parents wanted their kids to learn other languages when they were younger then maybe they’d teach them themselves or give them books or something

3524. Name a band you sort of like:

journey

You are wearing that band’s t-shirt in a store. SUDDENLY some guy you don’t know comes up to you and goes, "Hey! You like (insert name of the band here)??!!”

This is obviously a really stupid question because if you didn’t like them you wouldn’t be wearing the t-shirt. Your witty reply is:

yes

3525. If you were organizing cd’s in a music store what section would you put each of the following in (don’t forget the 'bargain bin’ section!):

Blink182 top hits

Depech Mode

Weezer top hits

Led Zeppelin

The Doors

Avril Lavigne 2000s hits

Nelly r&b

Manfred Mann

Iggy Pop

Pink Floyd

Guns N Roses

Shakira pop

Britny Spears pop

Tool

Ozzy Osbourne bargain

Madonna

The Rolling Stones classic

The Beatles classic

Motley Crue classic

Bon Jovi classic

3526. Does coffee stimulate your mind or body more?

body.

3527. Can you do 'six degrees of separation’ to anyone famous?

i don’t even know what that means

3528. What’s the oddest thing in your home?

idk.

3529. Do you find it odd when people who are not handicapped use the handicapped stall:

in the bathroom? no because sometimes at a workplace some people don’t have employee restrooms and may need to change or something and sometimes mothers go into the bathroom with their children, or if all the other stalls are full and someone really has to go to the bathroom.  so some circumstances are okay. 

in the parking lot? i’m not ok with this.

3530. Do you sometimes find yourself talking to yourself? Do you answer yourself back?

i talk to myself sometimes and occasionally answer back

3531. In your head do you call yourself 'I’ or 'you’ or both?

both.

3532. What is the best excuse for why you haven’t done your homework?

i didn’t feel like it

3533. Someone tells you 'well there are black people, and then there are n*ggers’. What do you think?

yeah that’s ignorant. 

3534. Does culture shape behavior or does behavior shape culture?

culture shapes behavior

3535. What determines whether a person will be:

intelligent? put in some work

pretty? genetics

happy? positivity

successful? hardworking.

3536. What is social loafing? What is groupthink?

i have no idea

3537. I have an idea. let’s change the english language by making the words fewer, shorter and more concise. What do ya think?

no.

3538. What are the physical symptoms of:

joy? involuntary smiles.

fear? it’s all in the eyes.

shame? blushing

3539. Here’s the scenerio…your little eight year old brother is hangin out in the house when you come in..and catch him watching the playboy channel!

What do you do/say?

i walk away

He says, “Why can’t I watch this?” What is your response?

i don’t care and walk away because he’s my brother not my child

Why do you respond that way?

bc i don’t care

3540. Who REALLY has a higher sex drive, girls or guys? How can you tell?

it usually depends on the age and the individual

3541. are you usually carefree?

most of the time

3542. Do you generally prefer reading to meeting people?

yes

3543. Do you often long for excitement?

sometimes

3544. Are you mostly quiet when you are with others?

usually, yes

3545. Do you often do things spur of the moment?

nope

3546. Are you slow an unhurried in the way you move?

i don’t think so, quite the opposite actually

3547. Would you do almost anything for a dare?

sometimes

3548. Do you hate being in a crowd who plays jokes on one another?

i don’t really care

3549. Do you enjoy wild parties?

on occasion

3550. Have you ever paid for something priced more than $5.00 in only change?

probably once or twice before

3551. Is racism still a big part of our culture?

sadly, yes.

3552. A drawing was shown to a person. The drawing showed a black man in a business suit standing next to a white man holding a razor. The person who saw this drawing was white and was asked to describe it to a second white person who had not seen it, who described it to a third, and so on. By the end of six rounds the final report often placed the razor in the hand of the black man and it is claimed he is waving it threateningly. What do you think of this?

i don’t really have an opinion

3553. How many famous people can you name who committed suicide?

too many honestly

3554. Do you have OCD?

no.

3555. Are you more anxious or relaxed? anxious.

Insecure or secure? secure

Sociable or with drawn? more withdrawn probably

Original or conventional? original.

3556. Are you more emotional or calm? emotional

self pitying or content? content.

Fun loving or sober? fun loving.

Imaginative or down to earth? a little bit of both, i think.

3557. Are you more Friendly or aloof? friendly.

adventurous or cautious? adventurous

Broad or narrow when it comes to interests? broad.

receptive or closed to new ideas? receptive.

3558. Are you more good natured or irritable? ehhh a mix

soft hearted or ruthless? soft hearted

well organized or disorganized? pretty well organized.

Dependable or undependable? dependable.

3559. Are you more courteous or rude? courteous.

sympathetic or tough minded? sympathetic.

hardworking or lazy? lazy.

ambitious or easy going? easy going.

Anxiety Insecurity Emotionalism and Self Pity are traits of a neurotic personality.

Sociable, fun loving, friendly and adventurous are traits of an extroverted personality.

originality, imaginative, broad interests, and receptive are traits of an Open personality.

Good natured, soft hearted, courteous, and sympathetic are traits of an agreeable personality.

Well organized, dependable, hardworking and ambitious are traits of a conscientious personality.

3560. Do men and woman have little or a lot in common?

depends

3561. Do you feel like any of the teachers you’ve ever had have REALLY cared about educating you to think for yourself?

very few of them, but yeah

Do you tend to try harder if they DO care?

yes.

3562. Have you ever been stereotyped? As what?

yes

3563. Have you ever been discriminated against? For what?

yes

3564. How often is your school and/or job closed due to weather?

not anymore, at least not for a while

3565. Who do you know that you believe does not masturbate?

i have some friends that said they’ve never done it but idk

3566. Does a cloned human being have a soul? Why or why not?

uhhh yeah, i’d say that eventually they become their own person and become a separate being from that of the person they were cloned from

3567. Finish the sentence: As the world turns..I only have one concern…that:

idk.

3568. What group in history has been the most oppressed?

a lot of different groups

3569. Have you read any biographies? Whose?

yes, plenty of them

3570. What are you obsessed with?

sleep.

3571. Break out your decoder ring..(no hints this time)! t3ii9 8 i9f3 697 29h5 697 53ii j3 6974 hqj3?

no.

3572. Do you crack your:

knuckes?

neck?

back?

other? yes to all.

3573. Of the following powers which 2 would you pick for yourself? The ability to fly, breathe under water, turn invincible, change into animals, freeze and restart time, never gain weight unless you want to, heal people with your touch, have orgasms that last for an hour

never gain weight and breathing under water

3574. Do you chew your pencils and pens?

i put them in my mouth but i don’t chew on them

3575. Can you tell the exact point where your back ends and your butt begins?

yes

3576. When you are bored do you picture everyone around you naked?

no? lol that’s weird

3577. What are some great holiday gift ideas for

guys: socks, underwear, tools

girls: clothes, shoes, makeup, perfume

3578. Who looks better naked, men or woman?

women for sure lol

3579. Do you sit in chairs or fall into them?

a little bit of both

3580. Has anyone ever

screamed your name during sex? no

moaned your name during sex? yes.

3581. Hershey’s kisses: mint, almond, hugs, plain. other?

plain.

3582. What’s the best slurpee flavor?

red, whatever that is? cherry, i guess

3583. What are five movies that you think someone would have to be living under a rock in iceland to not have seen?

mean girls, white chicks, titanic, jurassic park, home alone

3584. Of these words, which ones are funny:

beets?

cumquat?

pit?

Piss-capades?

fuzzy?

What are some other funny words?

moist

3585. Do you give good massages?

i think so

3586. What songs have been 'stuck’ in your head?

lots

3587. What don’t most people know about your job?

it’s easy lol

3588. Is there anything you won’t say unless someone else says it first?

i don’t think so

3589. Do you need a little Christmas?

no

3590. Fake or real tree?

fake.

3591. Is your refrigerator running? You know what to do.

yes.

3592. How can you explain when there are few words you can choose?

idk.

3593. Who can it be now?

i love that song

3594. Where HAS Joe Dimaggio gone? And why does our nation turn it’s eyes to him?

idk.

3595. How often do you get headaches?

very often

3596. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes?

nope

3597. What could you spend 24 hours in a row doing?

watching tv

3598. Is it Friday yet?

not quite

3599. Do you remember There was a time (ahaha) when people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand?/

no.

3600. Do you talk to inanimate objects? on occasion

Do you try to get them to answer you? no.

Have they ever answered you? no.

[surveysonfleek]

600.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 37

3501. Is 'no glove, no love' your STRICT policy? i’ve been on the pill for 8 years and i’ve only had one sexual partner since then so not really. if sleeping with someone new, then yeah. 3502. What is the best Epic movie (examples of epics: ben-her, gone with the wind, last temptation of christ)? umm.. not sure. 3503. Finish the sentence. Hey, Hey we're the: people. People say we: are too nice. But we're too busy: living. The time to hesitate is: idk. You're too: boring. It's a nice day to: sleep.

3504. Have you ever had 'missing time'? no? 3505. Have you ever sent an electronic greeting? hahaha yeah. back when internet was dial-up, e-cards were all the rage. i sent them all the time. 3506. If you could send anonymous tips to people you knew who would never ever find out who sent them who would you send the following tips to? doesn't know when to leave: my bf’s brother. poor crotch hygiene: omg haha no one. talks too much: sara. band/art/dream is going nowhere: sean. most likely to get arrested: not sure. needs to get their life together: me. bad taste in clothes: no one really. bad taste in music: meh, i respect everyone’s taste in music. needs a hobby: my boyfriend lol. 3507. Are you more likely to download porn or disney movies? disney movies. 3508. What is it with people? who knows. 3509. Do you eat too much sugar? probably. 3510. Imagine you have a band. Let's name your band. Adjective: wild. Animal(plural): pandas Your band name is (adjective) (animals) Under Glass! Could be better? no. Let's try again. Adjective: Noun (plural): Your band is (adjective) (nouns) With Puppets 3511. Are you desperate but not serious? not really. 3512. Was there a time when you were younger and it took less to get you excited? yes. What did it take then? just getting out of the house. What does it take now? now staying at home makes me excited lol. 3513. Remember learning to write in elementary school? yes. We spend 2 years learning to print..then they throw that out the window and teach kids cursive. Why? i didn’t learn cursive at school. If cursive is so important and easy to read then why aren't books printed in cursive? Why aren't cursive computer fonts more popular? Why do buisness forms always say 'please print'? Schools are so preoccupied with teaching kids the complicated but traditional skill of cursive writing that more emphasis is put on that than on teaching kids how to clearly express their ideas through writing. I move that cursive writing become a jr. high school elective instead of a grammer school priority. Who's with me? 3514. Can you think of anything else (besides cursive writing) that is unhelpful, or unuseful, yet traditional and unquestioned? What? algebra. never used it after school. 3515. Name one female celebrity who you would guess wears size ___ clothing: 0? no. 5? 12? 16? 20? 3516. Have you ever been to a place where the restrooms were named in a clever way rather than just saying men's and woman's? I've seen Hens and Roosters, Bart and Lisa, Dudes and Babes...what have you seen? blokes and shielas and the hawaiian words for men and female. 3517. What is the 'message' or 'point behind': Fight Club? Donnie Darko? AI? technology may be able to surpass our intelligence. Minority Report? Solaris? A Walk to Remember? you never know where you can find love. You've Got Mail? 3518. have you seen, and what are your thoughts about these movies: Drumline? loved this! never thought i’d be into a movie about drumming. The Hot Chick? pretty funny. Maid in Manhattan? just the typical, cute, romantic comedy. Star Trek: Nemesis? About Schmidt? Evelyn? The Guys? Intacto? The Jimmy Show? The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers? Gangs of New York? Two Weeks Notice? The Wild Thornberrys Movie? Smokers Only? Treasure Planet? The Santa Clause 2? 3519. START this sentence: ....and I think to myself, what a wonderful world." i see them bloom, for me and you. 3520. What is: insanity? omg no. normal? farenheit? 3521. Tell us about yourself in the third person for a bit: no. 3522. If someone breaks a law, should they be punished if they did not know it was a law? most people know the law... unless it’s one of those really obscure ones. if this was a thing, a lot of people would claim not to know what they did was illegal. 3523. If it's so much easier to learn languages when we are very young (and it is, something to do with the developing brain) why do they wait until jr high and high school to teach them? if you start teaching a child another language they may not know the difference between their first and second language. that’s exactly what happened to me as a kid, i switched between the two without knowing which was which. 3524. Name a band you sort of like: dvsn. You are wearing that band's t-shirt in a store. SUDDENLY some guy you don't know comes up to you and goes, "Hey! You like (insert name of the band here)??!!" This is obviously a really stupid question because if you didn't like them you wouldn't be wearing the t-shirt. Your witty reply is: i sure do. 3525. If you were organizing cd's in a music store what section would you put each of the following in (don't forget the 'bargain bin' section!): Blink182 way too lazy to do this. Depech Mode Weezer Led Zeppelin The Doors Avril Lavigne Nelly Manfred Mann Iggy Pop Pink Floyd Guns N Roses Shakira Britny Spears Tool Ozzy Osbourne Madonna The Rolling Stones The Beatles Motley Crue Bon Jovi 3526. Does coffee stimulate your mind or body more? body. 3527. Can you do 'six degrees of separation' to anyone famous? i can do four lmao. my cousin’s friend acted in a movie with halle berry. done lol. 3528. What's the oddest thing in your home? idk. 3529. Do you find it odd when people who are not handicapped use the handicapped stall: in the bathroom? in the parking lot? yeah both. it’s rude. 3530. Do you sometimes find yourself talking to yourself? Do you answer yourself back? i only talk to myself in my thoughts. 3531. In your head do you call yourself 'I' or 'you' or both? both. 3532. What is the best excuse for why you haven't done your homework? i don’t have homework. 3533. Someone tells you 'well there are black people, and then there are n*ggers'. What do you think? omg that’s an instant ignore. i already know that person is arrogant and ignorant as fuck. i just hate that word. 3534. Does culture shape behavior or does behavior shape culture? first one. 3535. What determines whether a person will be: intelligent? some are born smart and some put in work to be smart. pretty? just their genetic makeup in a physical sense. happy? bubbly, cheerful personality. successful? hardworking. 3536. What is social loafing? What is groupthink? idk. 3537. I have an idea. let's change the english language by making the words fewer, shorter and more concise. What do ya think? no. 3538. What are the physical symptoms of: joy? involuntary smiles. fear? it’s all in the eyes. shame? blushing, hanging your head down. 3539. Here's the scenerio...your little eight year old brother is hangin out in the house when you come in..and catch him watching the playboy channel! What do you do/say? what are you watching? He says, "Why can't I watch this?" What is your response? you’re too young. Why do you respond that way? 8yo is too young to be exposed to sexual content imo. 3540. Who REALLY has a higher sex drive, girls or guys? How can you tell? it just depends on the individual. 3541. are you usually carefree? not really. 3542. Do you generally prefer reading to meeting people? i’m in between. depends on my mood. 3543. Do you often long for excitement? weekly. 3544. Are you mostly quiet when you are with others? if i know the group, then no. 3545. Do you often do things spur of the moment? not usually. 3546. Are you slow an unhurried in the way you move? no. 3547. Would you do almost anything for a dare? haha no. 3548. Do you hate being in a crowd who plays jokes on one another? i don’t mind. depends how far they’ll go though. 3549. Do you enjoy wild parties? i did when i was younger. 3550. Have you ever paid for something priced more than $5.00 in only change? probably. 3551. Is racism still a big part of our culture? sadly, yes. 3552. A drawing was shown to a person. The drawing showed a black man in a buisness suit standing next to a white man holding a razor. The person who saw this drawing was white and was asked to describe it to a second white person who had not seen it, who described it to a third, and so on. By the end of six rounds the final report often placed the razor in the hand of the black man and it is claimed he is waving it threateningly. What do you think of thiss? stupid. 3553. How many famous people can you name who committed suicide? i’d rather not. 3554. Do you have OCD? no. 3555. Are you more anxious or relaxed? anxious. Insecure or secure? insecure. Sociable or with drawn? in between. Original or conventional? original. 3556. Are you more emotional or calm? calm. self pitying or content? content. Fun loving or sober? fun loving. Imaginative or down to earth? down to earth. 3557. Are you more Friendly or aloof? friendly. adventurous or cautious? cautious. Broad or narrow when it comes to interests? broad. receptive or closed to new ideas? receptive. 3558. Are you more good natured or irritable? good natured. soft hearted or ruthless? in between. well organized or disorganized? organized. Dependable or undependable? dependable. 3559. Are you more courteous or rude? courteous. sympathetic or tough minded? sympathetic. hardworking or lazy? lazy. ambitious or easy going? easy going. Anxiety Inscurity Emotionalism and Self Pity are traits of a neurotic personality. Sociable, fun loving, friendly and adventurous are traits of an extraverted personality. orignality, imaginative, broad interests, and receptive are traits of an Open personality. Good natured, soft hearted, courteous, and sympathetic are traits of an agreeable personality. Well organized, dependable, hardworking and ambitious are traits of a conscientious personality. 3560. Do men and woman have little or a lot in common? depends on the individuals. there’s no answer to this. 3561. Do you feel like any of the teachers you've ever had have REALLY cared about educating you to think for yourself? eh, yes a couple. Do you tend to try harder if they DO care? yes. 3562. Have you ever been stereotyped? As what? not really actually. 3563. Have you ever been discriminated against? For what? yes, my race. 3564. How often is your school and/or job closed due to weather? never. it’s open 24/7. 3565. Who do you know that you believe does not masturbate? haha it’s not something i think about. 3566. Does a cloned human being have a soul? Why or why not? i honestly have no idea. probably not. 3567. Finish the sentance: As the world turns..I only have one concern...that: idk. 3568. What group in history has been the most oppressed? a lot of different groups, let’s be real. 3569. Have you read any biographies? Whose? yes. 3570. What are you obsessed with? sleep. 3571. Break out your decoder ring..(no hints this time)! t3ii9 8 i9f3 697 29h5 697 53ii j3 6974 hqj3? no. 3572. Do you crack your: knuckes? neck? back? other? yes to all. 3573. Of the following powers which 2 would you pick for yourself? The ability to fly, breathe under water, turn invincible, change into animals, freeze and restart time, never gain weight unless you want to, heal people with your touch, have orgasms that last for an hour never gain weight and heal people. 3574. Do you chew your pencils and pens? no. 3575. Can you tell the exact point where your back ends and your butt begins? no. 3576. When you are bored do you picture everyone eround you naked? no. 3577. What are some great holiday gift ideas for guys: cologne, clothes, alcohol. girls: makeup, candles, perfume. 3578. Who looks better naked, men or woman? women. 3579. Do you sit in chairs or fall into them? if i know the chair well i’ll fall into it lol.

3580. Has anyone ever screamed your name during sex? yes. moaned your name during sex? yes. 3581. Hershey's kisses: mint, almond, hugs, plain. other? plain. 3582. What's the best slurpee flavor? raspberry. 3583. What are five movies that you think someone would have to be living under a rock in iceland to not have seen? any disney classic. everyone would’ve seen at least one.

3584. Of these words, which ones are funny: beets? cumquat? pit? Piss-capades? fuzzy? What are some other funny words? no. 3585. Do you give good massages? yes. 3586. What songs have been 'stuck' in your head? none. 3587. What don't most people know about your job? it’s easy af. 3588. Is there anything you won't say unless someone else says it first? no. 3589. Do you need a little chrsitmas? huh? 3590. Fake or real tree? fake. 3591. Is your refrigerator running? You know what to do. yes. 3592. How can you explain when there are few words you can choose? idk. 3593. Who can it be now? idk. 3594. Where HAS Joe Dimaggio gone? And why does our nation turn it's eys to him? idk. 3595. How often do you get headaches? hardly ever. 3596. Have you ever woen fake eyelashes? yes. 3597. What could you spend 24 hours ina row doing? haha lay in bed. 3598. Is it Friday yet? it is actually. 3599. Do you remember There was a time (ahaha) when people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand?/ no. 3600. Do you talk to inanimate objects? no. Do you try to get them to answer you? no. Have they ever answered you? no.