#Bart Skills

[colbycheeseslice]

But what if Young Justice was a band? 🤔

[lemonlimestar]

my beautiful baby girl. i mean they. i mean boy. i mean

[batcavescolony]

Bart: I was bored and reading about deities of the world,

Tim: as you do

Bart: yeah, and you know how Cassie is part Greek God?

Cassie: do I want to know where this is going?

Bart: do you think if we started giving her offerings and worshipping her she'd turn into a full Goddess?

Kon: don't know till we try! OH GODDESS! Accept my offering *throws gummies at Cassie*

Cassie: *smiling with a pack of gummies* you joke but I'm keeping these.

Tim: *not looking up from his phone* oh Goddess Cassie, please let us have a peaceful day.

Cissie: *walking into the room* ?

Kon: we're worshiping Cassie to see if we can make her a Goddess.

Cissie: oh ok, merciful and beautiful Goddess-

Cassie: *laughing*

Cissie: -please grant me knowledge on my next exam because SOMEONE *glares at all of them* keeps pulling me into Young Justice mission's and I haven't studied *drops down in a chair and tosses her a bracelet* my offering.

Cassie: *still laughing* knowledge granted.

[ryley-robinson]

I have been laughing at this for ten minutes.

[byfulcrums]

i just saw a “what dc superhero family would you want to be a part of?” poll and the batfamily won. the batfamily

[biterflies]

the best thing about bart allen is that you can make up any bullshit hobby or skill and bart probably knows how to do it in canon. acting? obviously. playing guitar? apsolutely! drawing? duh. forensics? he knows that too! drums? most likely! reading lips? hes not great but he can do it. disarming a bomb? why WOULDNT he know how to do it. go nuts, hes a trump card. a jack of all trades. he runs on loony tunes logic anything is possible

[heroesriseandfall]

Oh yeah sure Bruce made a glass case with his dead son’s clothing in it and that was weird and all. But what about when his next son copied him and made FOUR glass cases, one for each person he was trying to resurrect and/or clone? That. that was weird.

Teen Titans (2003) #43

Teen Titans (2003) #44

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Who do you think are the most OP members of the FlashFam? I think it's difficult, the majority of them has almost the same powers.

Oh easy.

Wally, Bart and Barry.

I think we forget sometimes that the vast majority of the crazy feats of godlike powers we see from speedsters are coming from these three. Wally, Bart and Barry have insane connections to the speedforce and their skill level is unmatched. What these three can do is by no means normal or average. They are op as fuck.

You have to remember that even... let's say Max Mercury is nowhere even remotely near their skill level. And we're talking about Max Mercury. The guy who knows more about the speedforce than anyone else and trained for years to master it. But Max (although he was faster than Bart when Bart was a child) isn't on the same playing field as Wally, Bart and Barry. Max couldn't enter the speedforce without Bart's assistance, Max couldn't leave the speedforce without Barry and Wally's assistance, Max can't time travel to a destination of his own choice, Max can't speed steal or fully pause time, ect ect. Max is one of the most skilled, most knowledgeable, most trained and most respected speedsters of all time. Max is the cream of the crop. You won't find another speedster better than Max. He's a shining example of what's humanely possible for speedsters to achieve.

But Wally, Bart and Barry aren't humanely possible. Those three are insane.

I'm actually going to make a tier list to explain this

ABSOLUTELY FUCKING INSANE:

(AKA actually gods. Can do literally every speedster ability. Faster than literally everything. Beyond op.)

Wally West (now), Bart Allen, Barry Allen

TOP LEVEL OF SPEEDSTER ABILITY:

(AKA the top of the top. Insane skills. Insane knowledge. Insane speed. Likely has a vast amount of speedster abilities other than running. Likely faster than most other speedsters. Op af)

Max Mercury, Jay Garrick, Savitar, Eobard Thawne, Thad Thawne, Irey West (future)

ABOVE AVERAGE:

(AKA one of the following: above average speed, above average connection or above average abilities. Likely has one or two speedster abilities other than running. Slightly op but still beatable)

Irey West (now), August Heart, Edward Clariss, Jess Quick, Alinta (future), Hunter Zoloman (when connected), Lia Nelson, Jai West (future)

AVERAGE:

(AKA average connection, average speed, average abilities. Potentially an additional speedforce ability but no crazy speedforce abilities. Not op.)

Wally West (past), Ace West, Avery Ho, Jesse Chambers, Daniel West, Christina Alexandrova, Jenni Ognats, Jai West (now), John Fox, Red Death, Don Allen, Dawn Allen, Meena Dhawan, Anatole, David Edwards (after), Judy Garrick, Bar Torr, Fastbak, Swoosh, Terri Magnus, Sela Allen, Jonathan Allen, Carrie Allen, Barry West, S'Kidd Flash, Thondor Allen, Jace Allen, Blaire Allen, Nora Allen, Agent Flashling, Danica Williams, Cherub

TRIES REALLY HARD:

(AKA normal connection but below average speed and abilities. Extremely beatable.)

Baroness Blitzkrieg, Johnny Chambers, Bebeck, Cassiopeia, Harold Christos, Inertia 2, Killspeed, Mayfly, Millie Heyday, Runaround Sue, Wind, Pellmell, Poprocket, Velocity, Gabriella Rossetti

OH NO:

(AKA needs outside assistance to access speedforce (suit, drugs, formula), faulty connection, connection is killing them, can only access powers for short periods of time, ect)

Jai West (past), Alinta (now), Owen Mercer, Eliza Harmon, Jerry McGee, Meloni Thawne (*see notes), Gregor Gregorovich, Boleslaw Uminski, Joanie Swift, Mas, Menos, David Edwards (previously), Keigo, Ezra Gill, Henry Cosgei, Jaculi, Jaculi 2, Jimmy Olsen, Xane Swift

So yeah, as you can see by this, although all speedsters with a functioning speedforce connection are technically capable of being op, speedsters rarely actually are op.

We're just really used to op speedsters because we're used to whatever the fuck Wally, Bart and Barry have going on. But they are very much not representative of speedsters as a whole.

Do you guys remember how fast Wally used to be? When he was younger and struggling with his speed and stuff? THAT'S THE GODDAMN AVERAGE. Wally AT HIS SLOWEST was still faster than every single goddamn speedster he came across, including Jay, Johnny, Jesse, the Blue Trinity, the Red Trinity, ect. HE JUST WASN'T FASTER THAN BARRY OR EOBARD SO HE THOUGHT HE WAS THE WORST. Because Wally is fucking insane. He's an insane human being. Anyway, Wally at his slowest is the typical representation of an average speedster. That's how they typically are.

[arolesbianism]

I caved and made them real. Obverse me losing more and more motivation to draw as I made each of these back to back lol

[kazbrown]

Adam heaved a relieved sigh as he and Cain hauls the latest kill for their dinner tonight.

As they head to their hut, Adam sees he's precious one true ( and as far as he's concerned) loving wife waving at them while smiling brightly. Seeing this lovely sight, Adam throws the dead saber tooth tiger at Cain, causing him to yelp at the suddenness and weight.

The First Man and Mother of Humanity share a loving embrace, completely unaware of Cain having an annoyed look on his face, but quickly turns into a mischievous smile as he sees the dead prehistoric tigers fang broke off.

Adam: The best husband and father ever is back baby!

Eve: ( giggles at her husband's antics ) How's your hunting with Cain go, Honeybear?

Adam: Eh, kid did good. He's definitely better than how he started out.

Eve: Addy.....he was five when you tried to teach Cain and Aclima hunting.

Adam: Still, it's going to be a looooong time before he gets as good as m-!

Adam suddenly stops and screams manly ( read: yelps shrilly ) loudly as he jumps in pain. Eve gasps at her husband's pain before she hears the source problem.

Her sweet first son Cain laughing as he points and mocks at his father's pain while Adam tries to pull out the saber tooth tiger's fang on his butt.

Adam sees Cain and immediately two-and-two together, he immediately decides to discipline his son.

Adam: ( angry ) WHY YOU LITTLE! ( quickly grabs Cain by the throat and proceeds to strangle him ) I'll teach you to make fun of your father's pain!

Cain: ( choking) Ha-h-a Ha! W-worth i-it!

Eve: ( horrified) Adam! Stop that! Put him down NOW!

Adam, not wanting his usual kindhearted wife angry at him, he quickly let's go of Cain, who rubs his neck.

Eve: How many times do I have to tell you, Adam? No strangling Cain! No matter how much he makes you upset!

Adam looks down, embarrassed. Cain hides his snickering at his father being chastised. But Eve quickly put a stop to that.

Eve: Don't think your off the hook, Cain! ( Cain's smirk swiftly turns into a cringe look at his mother's anger at him ) You shouldn't have done that to your father! You could have seriously hurt him!

Eve gives them both a disappointed look, which to them is almost worse than her angry.

Adam and Cain: ( chastised) Sorry, Eve/Mom.

Eve sighs at her two troublesome boys as they send poorly hidden mocking faces at each other while they walk into their shared hut with their quarry.

Eve: ( hopeful ) Well, I hope at least they'll get along better in the future!

******

Present Day

A Sinner Adam is violently strangles his son, who is also a Sinner, at the Hazbin Hotel.

Adam: You fucking cheating, little shit! I know you were distracting me!

Cain: ( chokes ) No-ot my f-ault you s-s-suck at video g-games, Old T-timer!

Adam: I don't suck! You suck, First Failure!

Cain: W-what a c-comp-pling a-agrument, First M-man-C-child!

Charlie looks on at this, upset at this violent ( and unfortunately recurring ) action, she turns to Eve, who is just drinking her tea calmly.

Charlie: Um, excuse me, Miss Eve?

Eve: ( smiles ) Please, dear! We're practically family at this point. Just call me Aunt Eve or Mama Eve!

Charlie: (smiles uneasy) R-right! Well, Mama Eve, do you think either one of us should stop that?

Eve: My dear future daughter-in-law, I've been trying to pry my beloved husband and my darling sweet boy apart for centuries. At this point, mainly due to Cain's curse, it's pointless at this point.

Eve and Charlie watch as Cain retains enough strength to proceed to choke Adam back.

Eve: ( smiles warmly, unconcerned) Honestly, I think this is fun to them now!

[lemonlimestar]

rip tim drake u would’ve loved meal prepping

[james-p-sullivan]

[isfjmel-phleg]

Bart was raised by a video game.

Kon was raised by TV.

Thad was raised by a computer.

And that's the problem with each of them.