#Baby don't hurt me

[thoughtcascades]

What is love?

Love is a feeling – it's the warm and fuzzy emotion that we feel when we're around the people we care about.

Love is like a puzzle – it takes time, patience, and effort to put all the pieces together, but when it's complete, it's a beautiful and fulfilling experience.

Love is a choice – it's not something that just happens to you, but something that you actively choose to give and receive.

Love is a journey – it's not just a destination, but a process of growth and self-discovery that can take a lifetime to fully understand and appreciate.

Love is a verb – it's not just a feeling, but an action that requires effort and commitment to nurture and maintain.

Love is a balance – it requires give and take, compromise, and a willingness to put the needs of the other person before your own.

Love is a gift – it's something that we can give freely to others, and it has the power to transform and enrich our lives in ways we never could have imagined.

Love is patient – it takes time to grow and deepen, and it requires patience and understanding to navigate the ups and downs of any relationship.

Love is kind – it's not just about feeling good, but about actively seeking the well-being and happiness of the people we love.

Love is forgiving – it requires the ability to let go of grudges and resentment, and to choose compassion and understanding over anger and resentment.

Love is selfless – it's about putting the needs of the people we love before our own, and being willing to sacrifice for their happiness.

Love is a bond – it connects us to others in a way that is deep and enduring, and it helps us to feel a sense of belonging and purpose.

Love is transformative – it has the power to change us in ways we never could have imagined, and to help us become the best version of ourselves.

Love is enduring – it's not just a fleeting emotion, but something that can endure through even the toughest challenges and toughest times.

Love is unconditional – it's not based on superficial qualities or external circumstances, but on a deep and genuine connection with another person.

Love is a commitment – it requires effort and dedication to nurture and maintain, and it requires a willingness to work through challenges and conflicts together.

Love is a state of being – it's not just a fleeting emotion, but something that can become a part of our daily lives and our very being.

Love is a feeling of connection – it's the sense that we belong together and are meant to be with the people we love.

Love is a source of strength – it gives us the courage and support we need to face challenges and overcome obstacles.

Love is a source of comfort – it provides a sense of safety and security, and helps us to feel loved and accepted for who we are.

Love is a source of inspiration – it can motivate us to be our best selves and to pursue our dreams and goals.

Love is a source of healing – it has the power to mend broken hearts and bring peace and closure to difficult situations.

Love is a feeling of security – it gives us the confidence and peace of mind that we are loved and supported, no matter what.

Love is a feeling of trust – it allows us to trust others and to feel safe and secure in our relationships.

Love is a feeling of respect – it allows us to respect and appreciate others for who they are, and to value their unique qualities and strengths.

Love is a feeling of gratitude – it allows us to be grateful for the people we love and for the positive impact they have on our lives.

Love is a feeling of compassion – it allows us to have empathy and understanding for others, and to offer support and comfort when they need it.

Love is a feeling of unity – it allows us to feel united with others and to work together towards common goals and aspirations.

Love is a feeling of hope – it allows us to hope for the best in ourselves and in our relationships, and to believe that anything is possible when we have love in our lives.

[friday-the-ai]

WHAT IS LOVE?

An intense feeling of admiration or affection.

[heythereiamsuji]

it's unfinished but damn if it isn't funnier with missing pages....

[ndcgalitzine]

THE SCREAM I JUST SCRUMPT

[knightofleo]

[t-lostinworlds]

'what is love' is going to be the show's equivalent to 'poker face' and i'm here for it

[book-girl4evaaa]

"What is love?"

[cleolinda]

What IS musk?

What does real musk smell like?

Musk imparts a unique and distinct scent that is subtle yet extremely powerful and has no other analogs. The scent of musks is often compared with earthy and woodsy smells with a powdery yet almost quiet [similarity] to a baby’s skin. The sweet yet strong scent of musk is usually used as a base note in perfumes. In essence, musk is magical and inexpressible in words. (Niche Natural Perfume)

(The appeal of this description does explain a story I heard about Empress Josephine soaking the walls of her rooms in musk perfume, partly so that it would just haunt the shit out of Napoleon; I can't remember where I first read this, but apparently you can still smell faint traces of it today, wherever this was—Château de Malmaison?)

IFRA-compliant fragrances can't use animal musk today, as I understand it, but I have seen vintage or allegedly ethical musk components sold for very high prices. For the most part, natural animal musk is replaced by (per Sylvaine Delacourte's site) synthetic laboratory musks; the indole notes of jasmine (an indolic compound called skatole is a major component of, uh, fecal matter); vegetable musks such as ambrette seeds (aka musk mallow, aka annual hibiscus); and plant-based components "with slightly 'dirty' notes such as cumin, costus, cistus labdanum, sage, atlas cedar, hyssop, osmanthus, leather notes, etc."

But of all the articles I looked at, Goutal Paris (you may be familiar with Annick Goutal fragrances) gave me the approachable summary I wanted:

Since the 1970s and 1980s, this term ["musk"] refers to a set of synthetic molecules used today in perfumes and cosmetics. Perfumers use about fifteen of them, two of which are of natural origin: ambrettolide, which comes from the seed of hibiscus, and exaltolide, which is found in angelica.

Contrary to the smell of animal musk, which is heavier and more full-bodied, the term "white musk" evokes the scent of clean laundry, comfort and well-being.

It's the word "contrary" that I wanted SOMEONE to use, because learning that detergent is full of musk feels a lot like being soapily gaslighted. "You know, clean, like musk!" NO! I DON'T! I ASSOCIATE THE WORD MUSK WITH ANIMALS AND HEAVY PERFUME YOU WANT TO WASH OFF AND scent descriptions IN ROMANCE NOVELS AND POLITE EUPHEMISMS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T SHOWERED A WHOLE LOT!

Over at the Experimental Perfume Club: Due to the history of musk, most people believe musks to be big and strong scents that would be comparable to heavy and dark notes such as leather, but the musks of perfumery are in fact exactly the contrary!

YES! YOU GET IT! The EPC goes on, very helpfully, to describe four of the major synthetic musks: Galaxolide, Habanolide, Ambrettolide, and Ethylene Brassylate, the latter of which is "slightly sweeter with hints of vanilla, woods and spices [and] great for intensifying other sweet and floral ingredients." You may remember the latter three from the leaked sort-of formula for Not A Perfume; Ethylene Brassylate sounds like a strong contender for at least part of the Nemat Vanilla Musk I wear a lot.

Point being, there was a sea change in meaning when synthetic white musks came onto the scene. I'm still not sure how we got from "musk" to "this kind of smells a little musky around the edges so we call it musk" to "legit laundry," but then, I am on the spectrum and I have realized that I can be crushingly literal at times. So we have synthetics meant to smell like actual civet (like Firmenich's civettone, "a cornerstone to civet reconstitution") or castoreum (like Givco's synthetic replacement), and then there are the White Musks™ that no one's pretending ever got near an animal:

The History of White Musk: The Body Shop and Far Beyond

The popular Tide detergent, launched in 1947, has defined "the smell of clean in North America", as perfumer Rafael Trujillo put it at a conference about it recently. It is an example of the detergents which have shaped our perception of how clean clothes, and therefore how laundry, how cleanliness itself, smells. Moving from the initial rosy scent to musk in the 1960s with an addition of lily of the valley further on, it was a crucial step in the complex history of "clean."

(Some Fragrantica articles may require [free] registration. For more about the history of Tide, they have an article talking about its current "a citrus and fruity combination, blended with a tuberose and violet complex," a combination I never would have guessed.)

Back to their history of white musk:

Galaxolide, in particular, an International Fragrances & Flavours synthetic "clean" musk molecule with staggering popularity in the industry in both fine fragrance and functional [e.g. laundry] products, gives a clean, but also musky flowery-woody odour with a sweet, powdery nuance which is prized for its olfactory potency. You might know it very well indeed from the best-selling and trend-setting creation of Sophia Grojsman for Lancome, Trésor. The fragrance's message was not in the apricoty rose in its heart, but the megadose of Galaxolide in the base; its cosmetics aura code-named “feminine cleavage” while in production is what makes it “mesh.” No wonder it lasted for eons on the skin.

Cleavage aside, you may know Galaxolide through fabric softeners, detergents, and dryer sheets, which is what Not A Perfume "read" like on me. However, the article notes, "Alas, according to the directives of the Environmental Working Group, Galaxolide accumulates in the body." So… let's make sure we use it in everything, for sure.

(Hit up Pinterest sometime for plenty of tips on musk-less DIY dryer balls.)

In terms of white musk "fine fragrances," the Fragrantica article touches on Jovan White Musk and the Body Shop's White Musk (the early standards); Emporio Armani's White For Her; Jennifer Lopez's Glow (or Louise Turner and Catherine Walsh's Glow, if it makes you feel better; perfumes are actually composed by somebody, and it's often not the name on the bottle); Serge Lutens' Clair de Musc, Montale's White Musk, Il Profvmo's Musc Bleu, Comptoir Sud Pacifique's Cristal de Musc, and Narciso Rodriguez For Her. That last one is our bridge to the topic of Egyptian musk, which is why I'm writing all this in the first place, but we'll get to that later. Sylvaine Delacourte has a collection of white musks; Tom Ford has a collection; even Demeter Fragrance, home of Dirt, Funeral Home, and Fuzzy Balls, has a collection. I have tried exactly none of these, but if I won the lottery, I would try decants of the Narciso Rodriguez, the Serge Lutens, and maybe the Jovan or Body Shop for historical purposes.

A further reading list (linkspam ahoy):

Fragrantica editors choose their Best In Show, Musk Edition (2019)

Perfume Shrine's extensive Musk Series of articles (has immediate NSFW art)

Musk in Islam: the esoteric way. “One cannot indeed talk about musk without talking about its religious aspect, for there is one thing certain: without Islam, musk would probably never have got as famous as it is now.” (Bear in mind how fundamental Islamic scientific developments were to perfumery as a whole.)

Musk Perfumes Haven't Been This Popular Since the '70s (2022)

15 Musky Perfumes We Just Can't Quit (updated 2022)

Galaxolide safety status on Wikipedia: People are realizing that it's not great for you!

The Danger of Musk Ketones in Perfumes ("Musk ketone can mimic natural hormones and replace them in the body" and it doesn't get better from there)

What IS safe? A Basenotes.net forum discussion

The only stand-alone musks I wear are Egyptian musk and vanilla musk, what would y’all recommend trying if I hit up some decant sites?

[bethanydelleman]

How much love and how much lust made Darcy propose to Elizabeth in your opinion?

Because my headcanon is that Darcy is somewhat demisexual and feeling something sexual was (possibly) new to him and it convinced him to propose. I've seen some people see Darcy as a bad boy and lust is almost completely what convinced him to propose and on the other hand there are others who see him completely head over heels in love with Elizabeth.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. (And sorry if you have answered something like this before.)

Thanks for the question!

If we head back to the very beginning of Darcy liking Elizabeth, we learn it's not about "fine eyes" but "rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes." and "in spite of his asserting that her manners were not those of the fashionable world, he was caught by their easy playfulness." Darcy did totally resist Elizabeth's beauty before he knew her, it was her intelligence and playfulness that caught him. However, as often happens in Austen, this attraction to her mental attributes leads to appreciation of the physical, "he was forced to acknowledge her figure to be light and pleasing"

I also read Darcy as demisexual. However, by Hunsford he is clearly intensely experiencing both lust and love. His proposal is about overwhelming desire:

“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” (don't know why I'm quoting this, ya'll know it by heart I'm sure)

Now as for the ratio, that's hard to tease out. Elizabeth assumes that this is a fleeting feeling (ie lust), which will quickly fade away. That is clearly not the case, especially since we know he's been attracted to her since the last fall. Romantic love is for most people intertwined with lust, at least in my experience as someone who isn't asexual. It means you want to talk to them forever but also tear off all their clothes.

I do think he's seriously in love with Elizabeth, even if he doesn't have a completely healthy regard for her (disdain for her family isn't a great look). I don't think it fits with his character at all to propose marriage based on lust. He thinks very seriously about marriage and he's aware that it will last forever. He has carefully considered the pros and cons, he's not acting purely from emotion. The fact that he stays longer in Kent and doesn't propose till the end of his visit speaks to how much he's thought about it. That's not lust-based irrationality.

And the fact that he listened and changed! That's not lust or a fleeting feeling. That is actual love and respect. If it had been lust alone, it probably would have been fully extinguished by his mortification.

So the answer is... 50/50?

[boredintjqueen]

Please reblog to improve the data.

[benji-mp]

Baby Don't Hurt Me || Eros and Benji

@mperosx

Ben had read up on the God, and had been for a while. For some reason, the demi-god thought summoning Eros would be easier than actually just going to scope him out on the Island. He gathered several items to put in a bowl - the golden bowl specifically. They laid beside the bowl as Ben tried to slow his heart rate down. Questions ran through his head, if he was doing the right thing - if Eros would be upset that he was suddenly summoned out of no where. What if Ben was interrupting the God? He shook his head before sighing. "What am I doing!?" He looked towards the bookshelf, his aunts books shining in the sun. If he could tell her what he was about to do, she would be so excited for him.

He looked around for a note pad, trying to scribble words down as he thought of what to ask the God. How did Ben get this far without even thinking of the questions to ask? He was satisfied with what he had written down before starting to organize the items in the bowl. He placed the roses around the outside, then the pink flowers. He wasn't sure what he should do with the apples. It mentioned that he should offer it, but not how. He ended up cutting them up into slices, in case Eros was hungry. Same with the grapes, but he put them on tooth picks so it was easy to eat.

Ben got the basics, he wasn't sure what love was - or what symbolized love.

Ben ran the match against the box, letting it ignite before passing the flame to the pink candle.

"I summon thee...Eros, god of Love, Sex, and Desire."

[pokemonedits-outofcontext]

[the-white-soul]

*Flowey is endlessly surprised, and he can’t help but feel intoxicated by this peacefulness they haven’t felt in so long. Once he’s put in the pot, he lets Frisk take the lead and is met with quite the thrill. He squeals with joy being flipped and spun around, knowing he’s safe in their hands. And now Noelle is suggesting they all go back outside?*

I don’t want to leave. *He presses himself against Frisk and wraps a few small vines around them, hugging them desperately.* We’re not leaving. It’s a hellhole out there and we only just found leisure! I’m happy. Frisk is happy. Who could throw all that away? What do you think, Frisk?

(Frisk) "I'm down to stay!"

(Noelle) "Alright! *Texts Kara they'll be there later because Frisk is dancing with Flowey* I'll stay as well."

(Frisk) "*Puts one foot to the left then the right. They do a flip while Flowey is being carried.* I wish I loved you right now. You're the only one who hasn't been a jerk to me. I feel weird being friends with someone I'm this close to. I don't want more though. *Starts moving much more aggressively* I can't imagine the pain you must feel. I don't want you to feel left out. I never did!"

(Noelle) "Didn't you hate Flowey?"

(Frisk) "I hate everyone, besides you. *Boops Flowey's face* I'd be happy if you were the only one alive. Is that weird? Perhaps, perhaps not."

*Meanwhile*

(Chara) "They're doing what!!!"

(Kara) "They're dancing. In front of people might I add?"

(Chara) "No no no. Something must be wrong! She must be pulling a prank on us."

(Kara) "She tells me when she does pranks like these."

(Chara) "*Hyperventilates then laughs* what the hell is Flowey? I've never seen someone who can change others so much."

(Kara) "They're my best friend."

(Chara) "I can see why."

[kyndaris]

An Introspective Lull in the Pursuit of Love

I have often found that it is quite easy for me to fall into new routines. Take this blog, for example. In the past, it would contain impressions of the games I'd played and finished, along with the occasional anecdotes I'd come up with that had been on my mind. As I started to date, many of my posts soon changed to revolve around my attempts to find love. But despite going at it for nigh on two years, I haven't felt closer to cracking the mystery that is romance even as I've flooded my weekly entries about my adventures.

As my love life dwindles though, I've been scrambling to find something fun and lighthearted to share with the dear readers I've accrued on my blog. Not that there's many.

Still, at least I now have the opportunity to opine about the state of the world or properly allow my errant thoughts some breathing room.

Of course, if you've read the title of this blog, you'll know that in this instance, my thoughts haven't strayed too far from the familiar.

Since I've started chronicling the dates I've gone on, it has come as no surprise that I don't regard myself as straight. There have been many a time wherein I've asserted that I sit somewhere on the asexual spectrum. But recent revelations on who I might be attracted to has had me scrambling on what it means to be in a relationship and the sacrifices one needs to make.

Although I've opened my preferences for all genders on Hinge, I've found it extremely hard to date or chat with people from unique backgrounds. Invariably, most of the people that tend to like my profile or who I actually respond are cisgender heterosexual men. Probably because they're the ones most active on the dating apps. And while conversations can start off strong, it almost always seems to fail. Whether it's because they're a bad texter and I find it hard to continue a conversation or they just stop responding altogether.

The only person I've kept up a steady communication with is Dikottir. And in fact, we might be venturing out to VIVID Sydney for a fifth date (at time of writing, VIVID has only just begun). But while this may seem promising, it comes with the caveat that we've technically met in person since August 2023, with our initial chat on Hinge back in July of that same year.

If ever there was a relationship that was the epitome of a slow burn, this would be it.

Perhaps it comes from the fact both of us have our own individual lives and interests. Or maybe neither of us know how to navigate the quagmire encapsulating relationships.

I know I certainly don't lead a very riveting life that requires constant chronicling/ updating to a third party I barely even know. Heck, not even my own mother asks me how my day has gone even after absconding to China and leaving me to care for my grandmother (although, if I'm being honest, there's not much to say on a daily basis anyways. I wake up, I work, I cook and then I go to bed after playing some video games).

Besides, it's not like I consider Dikottir my Roman Empire. There are just so many other things to preoccupy me: books, video games, shows, road trip planning...

To be fair, Dikottir has been nothing but a gentleman. But after years of having romance novels and films harp about a 'spark' or the 'chemistry' between two people, the word I'd use to describe my 'relationship' with Dikottir would be torpid. At best.

Still, I persist. Wondering if this 'thing' between us will ever work out. Although, if I was being truly honest with myself, I think it'll just end up being a friendship.

Hinge, and many other dating apps, simply aren't very conducive for me in building up a connection. Constant interactions in a shared environment or a neutral setting are some of the best places for me to slowly build up the foundation to a strong friendship.

And yet, there have been people I've met that I've felt an odd compulsive pull where I want to learn more about them. Alas, it's only happened with women. As I've detailed before in an earlier post, there have been women I've been drawn to, believing we could be the best of friends. Is that love? Or is it the makings of a crush?

I wish I knew. I wish there was a definitive definition of what it means to fall in love with someone so I could tick off the symptoms and diagnose myself with it instead of having people tell me: "you'll know it when it happens to you."

A part of me does want to believe this is me like-liking someone but discussions with Sorrengail, a fellow ace, has described these instances of obsession as a 'squish.' And, in almost all instances, my swift and sudden obsessive curiosity does fade.

But it is in those rare moments that I do wonder if there might be something more beyond the platonic.

These last few days, I've posited the theory to myself that maybe I'm questioning these 'squishes' as something more because my mind has been focused on trying to build relationships and finding a romantic partner. But the more I do, the more I fear what might become of an actual committed relationship.

How much of myself will I need to compromise? Will it have all been a waste of time if nothing eventuates? How do I know if someone likes me or not? What are the 'signals' that I should be looking out for?

I think for most people the start of a relationship is always fraught with a mixture of emotions: the desire to make a good impression and the fear the other person might not like the 'real' you. Especially if you immediately lean into the chaos gremlin dwelling inside the human exoskeleton.

It's certainly something I've thought about because even as a neurotypical person, I've often found myself portraying a heightened version of myself to different social circles. For example, I know I can't go into a deep dive about Kingdom Hearts lore at work because no-one else would appreciate the collision of Disney and Japanese role-playing games. And I don't talk about the books I read to many of my non-reader friends.

While these aren't exactly separate personas, these images of me that I project are tailored to the audience I'm with.

Yes, they are all me but they are me in different situations.

And there aren't many social circles where I feel comfortable enough to unleash the nose-booping, terrible picture-taking chaos gremlin menace that I really am on the inside. At least, I'm not comfortable with showing off that side of me.

Although, yes, there are people at work who know I'm a big massive nerd. And who are a little frightened of my ability to memorise addresses.

I also have a tendency of phrasing things terribly. So, there might be a subset of people I know who fear for their lives (looking at you Chinchilla) even though I wouldn't hurt a fly (that's a lie. I kill a lot of insects).

Jokes aside, I'm also worried I've entered this race for all the wrong reasons. Love isn't something to be pursued. You can't force it. It either comes naturally or it doesn't. But maybe, too, I need to stop being oh so cautious and just jump in with both feet if I do feel something.

As Ellie Chu, from the film The Half of It put it: love isn't patient and kind and humble. Love is messy and horrible and selfish and bold. It's not finding your perfect half. It's the trying and the reaching and failing. Love is being willing to ruin your good painting for the chance at a great one."

Maybe that's what I need to do. Instead of comparing and contrasting Hinge profiles to see who might be a good fit and letting my executive functioning do most of the work, I should lean into my instincts. Instead of fearing that a relationship won't work out, I need to fight in the trenches for it.

And whether or not love will hit me over the head with a hammer or sneak up on me like an assassin, I need to be open to it.

Easier said than done!

But hey, that's life, isn't it?

[undead-knick-knack]

[brightideathepunny]

What is Love?

-----------------------------

Written by me, Feb. 10 2016

Sharing this now because I took a trip down memory lane and felt like sharing something I posted seven years ago to DeviantArt, so a whole new audience can discover it.

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What is love? And what is it for? A feeling, an experience, a power, and more.

A force, a resource, given and gotten. Invisibile yes, but never forgotten.

Available to all, infinitely free, doesn’t come in a box or fall from a tree.

Undemanding, unconditional, unconventional too. Might seem impossible, but believe me, it’s true. To define love is to find love, see what it does for you.

Where is love? It’s all around, a part of who you are. Find some where there’s people, or see it in the stars.

Trust and caring, hope and sharing, family and friends. These are other words for love, the kind that has no end.

Love is growing, ever-flowing, mysterious and strange, only thing for certain is like life, love thrives on change.

Take a walk and listen, quiet whispers in the wind. Breathe in, feel love as it warms you up inside and grin.

Every part of your being is made of awesome stuff. Don’t look far to find love, you’re always good enough.

Why is love so rarely fully understood? It’s not about just me and you, but everything that’s good.

Singles, couples, trios, foursomes, moresomes and who knows? Affection with direction and attention makes it grow.

We’re more the same than different in so many countless ways. Special yet belonging to a common social craze.

When you’re feeling lonely know that you are not alone. Every heart beats to a rhythm that is all their own. Anywhere your heart is, that’s where you are at home.