#BUT. by chance i had decided to wear black pants instead of white pants. god loves me. however. cramps. evil HOWEVER. had ONE SINGLE IBUPRO

[intertexts-moving]

yayayyy... goinghomepilled.

[h0tchner]

go team hotchner!

pairing: dad!aaron hotchner x fem!reader

summary: aaron is coaching jack’s soccer game & reader is in the crowd! aaron & reader are happily married, but another woman’s mean comments and blatant flirting makes the reader jealous. fluffy shenanigans ensue!

word count: 2.5k

includes: FLUFF, jack hotchner is the sweetest, you & aaron are married, jealous!reader, kissing, family planning, & AARON IN A GREY T-SHIRT

rating: 18+ (for VERY brief mentions of sex and a little smidge of cursing)

a/n: i wrote this for @ssahotchswife​’s soft hotch saturday! this is my first published fic, so i hope y’all enjoy. PLS (!!!!!!!!!!!) interact if you liked this, rb, comment, like and/or send me a request if you have ideas for future fics! i love y’all! - rivka💞

“Atta boy, Jack!” Aaron yells from the side of the field, clapping his hands as his son scores another goal.

Beaming, you holler from the benches along with the crowd. You watch as your husband jogs up and down the sidelines with ease, keeping up with Jack’s soccer team. It’s a stunning Saturday morning and you are thrilled to spend every moment of it with the Hotchner boys. Your Hotchner boys.

When they asked Aaron to coach the team, how could he say no? After losing Hayley, he promised himself that he would do everything in his power to be there for Jack. When you first started dating, Aaron was hesitant to introduce you to his son. It wasn’t because he didn’t want you in Jack’s life, but rather he didn’t want to scare you away. You were a 26-year-old NCIS agent and he was a 40-something FBI agent. You knew he had a son, you knew he was a widow, and you knew he was older than you: but you didn’t care. You loved him. It took a little coaxing to get Aaron to open up to you about his fears, but once he did, you assured him then and there that you weren’t going anywhere. He introduced you to Jack the very same day. Four years later, you and Aaron are stronger than ever.

The ref blows the whistle, calling a break. Aaron motions for the kids to huddle in. He squats on the floor to get on their level, enthusiastically whispering, walking them through the next play. Your heart swells watching him talk to the group of children. Aaron Hotchner, always the hero, the role-model, the leader. Gentle yet powerful: he was intoxicating.

Your eyes dart over his crouched figure; the soft, heather grey of his t-shirt clings to his broad shoulders. You draw in a breath, a memory of last night flooding your senses, remembering how you held on to those shoulders for dear life as he pounded you into the bed. You feel your cheeks blush red, and you look up to the sky, shutting your eyes to collect yourself. Damn. Even just the thought of touching him gets your blood up.

You open your eyes, letting your gaze travel back to Aaron’s body, admiring how good his butt looks in those black Adidas track pants. You bite your lip a bit, feeling overwhelmed with joy, knowing that beautiful man, inside and out, was all yours. God, what you wanted to do to...

“Damn he is HOT. Way hotter than the old coach. I think his son is on the team?” A woman’s voice rings out from behind you.

“Yeah, I think so. Did you hear what happened to his first wife? So sad, lost her when his son was little. Apparently he’s shacked up with some 20-something-year-old now.” A second woman’s voice chimes in.

“No way. Him? Married to that? He needs a real woman, not some child. A man that experienced should be with someone his own age. I’m gonna talk to him after the game, see what his deal is.” The first woman replies, voice dripping with venom.

“I think you should!” Agrees the second.

“Oh, I will. I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.” Snickers the first.

They both laugh as you sit frozen in your seat, blinded by a wave of anger and sadness.

Some child? Someone his own age? Their hurtful words pierce right through your heart as you furiously blink back tears.

The ref blows the whistle, and the team scatters back onto the field. The ladies cheer behind you as the game starts back up. It takes all your strength not to break down under the crushing weight of their conversation. You take in some deep breaths, mulling over their comments. You weren’t “some child!” You were a grown-ass woman! You had a job! You were a federal agent! You loved Aaron and Jack: they were your whole world!

As you continue to give yourself a mental pep-talk, the hurt begins to dissipate as you realize how stupid those woman sounded. They didn’t even know you, or Aaron, or anything about your relationship. In that moment, you tell yourself that instead of wallowing in self-doubt, you would stand up to them and make it known that you were the only one for Aaron.

Just like that: you begin to feel a bit better. You focus all your attention on Aaron and Jack, letting the game fly by. You ignore the ladies gossiping behind you, and, by the time the kids are lining up to give the other team high-fives, you had pulled yourself together and come up with a plan to put these ladies right back in their place. You just had to wait for the right time to make your move.

“Wish me luck!” squeals the first woman. You can feel her getting up from the bleachers behind you.

“Go get him, girl!” sasses the second.

You watch as the woman walks down the aisle, her straight blonde ponytail swishing as she goes. She’s wearing blue-jean shorts and a white lace top: an outfit you’ve seen before on a hundred women who looked just like her. In any other circumstance you’d applaud her efforts (girls supporting girls, right?) but this was your man she had her sights on. No way. Not a chance. She wasn’t going to lay a single pink manicured finger on him.

Aaron is talking to the ref and the other team’s coach when she taps him on the shoulder.

Oh HELL no. You think, frowning.

He turns around and gives her a small, polite smile. You can’t hear the exchange, but after a few moments, she sticks out her hand to shake his, laughing. Aaron curtly returns the shake and turns back to finish up his prior conversation; but, this time, the blonde woman puts a hand on his arm again, lightly pulling him away. Your blood begins to boil. She gestures to the pack of kids, now getting drinks and snacks from the fold-up table next to the bleachers. Aaron nods, pointing over to where Jack is standing, sipping on some lemonade. She puts her hand on his arm again and tilts her head.

You decide it has been long enough. It’s go time.

You walk down the bleachers, picking up the hem of your baby blue floral sundress so you wouldn’t step on it as you descended.

The woman is still all over Aaron, clearly flirting. Aaron’s arms are crossed over his chest, lips in a terse smile. It didn’t take a profiler to know that his behaviour screamed “get me out of here.”

You fluff your hair a bit, letting it fall loosely around your face. With confidence, your feet hit the soft grass and you head towards your husband.

“Aaron!” you call out, waving and smiling as you near him, shooting daggers at the blonde woman by his side.

The moment he sees you approaching, you watch his entire demeanour change.

“Y/N!” he grins, excusing himself from the woman.

She whips around to face you with a vengeance as Aaron scoops you up, tanned arms firm around your middle. He spins you around as you laugh, surprised, looking down at him with pure elation.

He sets you down and, before you have a chance to say anything else, grabs your face in his hands, crashing his mouth into yours. You throw your arms around his neck and card your fingers in his hair, kissing him with the same fervour.

You can practically feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins. It’s hot and dominating: something about winning a game makes Aaron primal and giddy. You certainly aren’t complaining.

He breaks the kiss and lets his hands fall to your waist, squeezing lightly.

“Congrats on the win, Coach Hotchner.” You smile as you brush a lock of sweaty black hair off his forehead.

“Couldn’t have done it without my favourite cheerleader, Mrs. Hotchner.” He winks, pressing a light kiss to your forehead.

“Oh yeah?” You prod, cocking your head, looking into his gorgeous hazel eyes. “Who would that be?”

“Hm.” He pauses, looking up pensively.

He wraps his arms even tighter around your middle and dips his head down, whispering one word in your ear: “You.”

You laugh, swaying with him for a moment, capturing his lips in another kiss. As you pull apart, out of the corner of your eye you watch as the blonde woman stands frozen to the same spot, mouth agape. You smirk, feeling satisfied and self-assured knowing your little scheme was a success.

Then, like a rocket, you see Jack running towards you with a mile-wide grin on his flushed face.

“Y/N! Did you see? Did you see me make two goals?” Jack exclaims.

“Yeah buddy, I saw the whole thing!” You capture him in a bear hug, kissing the top of his head. You ruffle his hair and kneel down, looking into his soft brown eyes.

“I’m so proud of you. Did you have fun?”

“Yeah! I love soccer!” Jack nods.

“You did a great job Jack.” Aaron says, helping you stand. He wraps an arm around your waist and looks lovingly down at his son.

“You’re our soccer superstar.” You add, glancing between Jack and Aaron with unbridled joy. “Now go! Go back to your friends!” You laugh, shooing him away, back to the group of sweaty 8-year-olds and their snacks.

You stand there with Aaron, snaking your arm around his back to match his around yours. You both watch as Jack bounds off. A quick glance to the side shows that the blonde woman is long gone, probably stomping back up to her friend to whine and call you more names.

“Is she gone?” Aaron murmurs into your hair, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your head.

You stutter, “How... how did you?” You trail off in disbelief.

“Oh please,” he smirks, “I had to stop you from practically biting her head off when you walked over.”

“Aaron!” you yelp, mocking upset. “You should’ve let me at her.”

He chuckles, lips twitching into a smile as he quirks one eyebrow up. “I couldn’t have my wife fighting with the aunt of one of my players. It’d reflect poorly on me.”

“She called me a child. Said that you should be with someone your own age. I think that warrants a free pass.”

His joking manner stops abruptly at your declaration. “That’s ridiculous and you know it,” he furrows his brow, shaking his head lightly.

You reach up and run your fingers over his scrunched forehead, soothing the lines into something softer.

“I know,” you nod.

Aaron pulls you into his side, wordless. Fingers tracing lightly over your hip. You knew he was thinking the same thing: no matter what they said, you knew in your heart that you and Aaron were meant to be. Age be damned. He was yours and you were his: forever. Simple as that.

“Mmm,” you sigh, taking in the beauty of the moment. You smile at the clear sky, the fresh air, and the feeling of the man you loved, right by your side. You two watch Jack as he talks and laughs with the other kids. He looks so happy to be surrounded by them: a natural conversationalist. You can’t help but start to think about how he would be the best big brother in the whole world. It makes your breath hitch in your throat a bit.

“What is it?” Aaron gives your side a squeeze.

Of course he could sense when your thoughts began to wander. Aaron was a man of many talents.

“Oh, it’s nothing.” You look up at him with a reassuring glance, returning the squeeze.

“Y/N...” Aaron trails off, hazel-brown eyes searing into yours.

Damn your gaze, Hotchner.

You look away, letting your arm drop from his waist and move to step away a bit: he grabs for your hand instinctively, keeping you next to him. His big hands engulf your small ones, fingers entwined.

You know he is still staring at you, but you can’t bring yourself to look at him yet. Your eyes refocus on Jack.

“I was... I was thinking,” you begin. “I love you. I love you so much, no matter what anybody else says. And I love Jack like he’s my own.”

You breathed in, prepping yourself mentally for what you were about to say next.

“Jack is so good with other kids.” You continue, “He loves being social, being a teammate.”

You gather the strength to meet your husband’s famous glare.

“And watching you coach these kids? You’re so good with them, Aaron. You make every one of them feel special. You give 110% of your heart, and I am so lucky to be your co-coach in life.” You tell him in earnest.

“Aaron,” you carry on, emboldened, “I think it’s time we added a new member to the Hotchner team” you finish, searching every inch of Aaron’s face for recognition.

You watch as he takes in the information. After a few beats, it clicks.

“Y/N,” his expression softens, “Do you want to have a baby?”

You bite your lip and nod, eyes wide and hopeful.

Aaron nearly explodes with happiness; his eyes crinkle as he smiles down at you, unable to speak. And then, his warm body envelopes yours, solid but soft: unmistakably Aaron.

You let out a shaky laugh and bury your head in his neck, breathing in the smell of cologne and light sweat.

He pulls back a little, one hand tilting your chin up to look at him.

“Oh my god, Y/N,” he shakes his head in disbelief.

“Does that mean yes?” you ask, in a small voice.

Aaron laughs again, letting out a sigh. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, letting his hand linger on your cheek. You lean into his touch.

“Yes,” he says, giddy. “Let’s have a baby.”

The sound of children laughing fills your ears as you grab the back of his head and pull Aaron into a soft kiss. The kiss is full of promise: a gentle pact, sealing the deal. You and Aaron were going to have a baby. Jack was going to have a little brother or sister.

You pull away, arms still around his neck.

“I love you, Aaron.” You breathe out.

“I love you, Y/N.” He whispers back.

Nobody on this planet could shake the bond you and Aaron had. Suburban soccer moms be damned.

[luimagines]

Hi! I have a request, but first i wanna say your writing is absolutely amazing! The length + amount of time you put into these prompts is insanely good. Now! Onto the request, how would the boys react to a reader from a more modern era? Maybe a more modernized hyrule or our current point in time?

Masterlist

Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm happy to see the response even if this blog is still relatively new.

I hope I do your prompt justice.

I probably could have done a headcanon list but I was hit with inspiration.

I also might have given Reader some backstory.

Scenario below the cut! It’s long, take caution.

It was a cool night, but you didn't mind. Your bed was warm, the WiFi was fast and even if it was three AM on a school night, you managed to keep yourself giggling with cat videos and blursed memes until the words and colors merged.

A night well spent.

But it led to questionable decisions.

Even if the shredded cheese in the fridge was beginning to seem a more and more enticing snack, your body was tempted to succumb to slumber.

Until a large purple light encompassed the entirety of your window.

Something was in your backyard.

Aliens. Your tired brain supplies and you sprint to the glass and push away the curtains. Is this it? Is this where I'm kidnapped and never seen or heard from again?

You pull out your phone and open up the camera.

"Pics or it didn't happen." You remind yourself and snap a few before showing your face.

What you see isn't what you're expecting. Instead of a flying saucer in the sky beaming down a laser or a weird pear shaped space craft on top of the grass, there's a single panel of glowing light, swirling with black accents that creeps in a circular motion.

"Cheese and crackers...." You gasp and begin to blatantly stare at it with no regard to whether something may be coming out of it.

You wait and nothing happens.

You wait some more and nothing happens.

You spend an hour watching this portal that has appeared out of nowhere, waiting for something to happen, willing for something to happen. But you get nothing.

The unknown stares right back at you, unblinking and unchanged.

Go through it. A voice tells you. What if there's something on the other side?

"I'm going to die." You gulp and take a deep breath.

Who else gets a chance like this? The voice talks again. This could be a grand step towards a more modern society. A whole new world could be on the other side, waiting, reaching out, calling to humanity!

You think you a see a shadow move behind the portal and out of sight but it’s gone before you can even process it.

"Should I call the police?" You step away from the window, ignoring the thoughts, the voice- you're too tired to know if it's your own any more. What's the plan? How does one go about something like this?

Where’s your sense of adventure? Pack a bag and go! What if it goes away?

That last thought seems to get through to your tired brain and for a reason beyond your understanding, it latches onto it.

Now you’re excited.

You run to the closet and take out your old backpack. It used to be for school but it was fancier since it was the only one you could get. The bag had a replaceable water bag with a plastic straw connected through the back of it and the straps have just worn down enough to where they’re actually comfortable. It doubled as a hiking backpack and came with its own insulated lunch box that clasped on the back of it.

It’ll finally serve its purpose.

You quickly roll up your favorite blanket and strap it in tightly beneath the lunch box. You’re quick to take out two extra outfits and pack them as well as change out of your pajamas.

Ok. What would you need? You don’t know where you’d be going so this has to a catch all kind of deal.

You pack away your swiss army knife first for good measure. A solar powered charger for your phone and an extra pair of socks follow suit even after you’ve picked out the extra clothes.

You take out the water bag and run to fill it all the way to max capacity as you think of any other necessities.

You’d need food. You have a small jar of peanut butter and granola bars that can fit in the lunch box. You can bring your extra water bottle and put in the side pockets of the backpack, and maybe bring some of those powered flavor packets your brother loves so much. You think he has lemonade and some green tea ones.

Those would be great. He won’t mind, hopefully.

You let the bag overfill momentarily before running back to shove it in your bag. with the lid screwed tight.

Next you run to the kitchen, grabbing the first things that you thought of already and begin to look around for more.

You grab an unopened pack of beef jerky, a bag of veggie sticks and a half eaten bag of dried mangos.

During your search you grab the water bottle and fill that too.

You return to your room with your bounty and begin to carefully put everything in the box. With some more deliberation, you run back to the kitchen and make yourself a quick sandwich, eat it, make another one and pack that as well.

You look out side the window and the portal is still there.

The sun is beginning to rise now so you’re trying to go as fast as you can, unless you want to neighbors to think something is going on.

Even if it is.

You’re about to leave but in a stroke of brilliance, you run to pack sunscreen and bug spray as well. You see a small first aid pack that was bought recently for when you would take your family vacation but you reason that it might one of the most important things you’d have if you got hurt.

Into the bag it goes.

You grab your hoodie before you leave the door, wrap it around your waist and pocket your phone, your headphones and your wallet.

You feel immediately under packed when you step outside and see the portal up close.

It’s weirdly triangle shaped, you think and step closer.

You reach your hand out and try to touch it. It feels as if you put your hand through a humidifier but it’s not wet. It’s misty and cold but not necessarily unpleasant.

An idea hits you right before you take your first step through.

You pull up one of the earlier photo’s you took and send it to your friend’s group chat. It showed up in my backyard. I decided to make a bad late night decision and I’m going through. If you never hear from me again, I want you all to fight over my electronics. Winner takes all. Godspeed.

And you step through.

You had first assumed that it would merely take you tot he other side but very quickly realize that you have to walk through it.

The first part still had a little light but with time, it got darker. So dark that you couldn’t even see your hand in front of your face.

You kept walking.

As fast as the light disappeared, it came back and you stepped into the light of an open field, right in front of one, two, three, four, nine males that had appeared to be traveling towards you or rather, towards the portal.

The portal disappears in the process.

“Oh so we didn’t have to go through it! We had to gain another member!” One of them yells. “Would have been nice to know before we packed everything up!”

“Ho boy, where am I?” You ask and tighten your grip on your backpack. Why didn’t I bring a weapon?

They all had long tunics and swords on their backs. Old fashioned leather boots and hand bracers were the norm in this group and you realized very quickly that your jeans and t-shirt had wildly missed the memo.

“Dang, I didn’t think I’d walk into a LARP group. Sorry about that.” You sheepishly smile. “I had no idea where the portal was going to take me. But if you would be so kind-”

“Wait, what’s LARP?” One of them speaks up. He was a dirty blond and somewhere in the middle of the group height wise. He wore a white cape like thing with blue designs on the back but you didn’t recognize the symbol.

“Live Action Role Play?” You tilt your head. “It’s why you’re all dressed like that? Right?”

“This is just our clothes.” What appears to be the youngest bounces up to you. “What are you wearing?”

“First I could grab in my closet.” You admit and look down on it. It’s one of your comfiest shirts and best looking pants. You’re a little proud of yourself for finding those in the dark.

“Weird.”

“We’re heroes. We’re all named Link.” Cape guy speaks up again. “Is it safe to assume that you’re in the same boat?”

“Heroes?” Your eyebrows furrow together. “I’m not a hero and my name’s not Link.”

You’re quick to tell them your name and you watch as the confusion covers their faces. “My brother’s name is Link though if that helps anything.”

“Oh we needed him!” The youngest groans and it instantly irks you.

“What would you need with a five year old?” You deadpan and cross your arms. 

The information stuns the group.

“The portal showed up in the middle of the night and I’m the one that went through it. I’m pretty sure I was the only awake to even see it. Are you telling me that it was for my little brother?” You’d be lying if you said that you weren’t a little pissed. “My baby brother was supposed to go through it? He was asleep! He’s five. What kind of logic is that?!”

“Well...” The biggest and oldest of them runs a hand over his face. You think he has some cool tattoos and sick scar going across his eye but he looks about as angry as you feel, so you don’t say anything. “It appears the gods truly do not care for the hero’s maturity, only his existence.”

“Ok...What’s with all this hero talk?” You bite back. “What did... Where am I?”

“Hyrule.” The second with cool face tattoos speaks up. He’s got a large fur pelt around his shoulders and you have to tighten your grip against your backpack again to keep from reaching out to touch it.

Even so you feel yourself deadpan even more. “Hyrule? Like the ancient empire? The one that collapsed more than two thousand years ago? That Hyrule?”

You’re inclined to not believe them and write all of them off as crazy... but you also walked through a portal. And your grandma did say that magic existed in the strangest forms.

They all share looks of concern and some begin to murmur quietly amongst themselves but you’re too far gone to even notice.

“Did I time travel?” The idea hits you like a bus and you feel your eyes widen as you stare beyond the group. You quickly take our your phone and unlock it.

No signal.

“Is that a type of Sheikah slate?” Someone asks you.

“I don’t know what that is.” You reply automatically. “Wait, hold on, what year is it?”

“Why don’t you tell us what year you’re from and we can start from there?” The darkest brunette of the group speaks up.

“202x PC” You say robotically, not really processing the world around you anymore.

“That’s...” The blond with a long blue scarf speaks up with a slight hiss. “...Beyond any of our timelines. You see, we all come from different worlds and eras of Hyrule’s history.”

“I don’t think you’re the farthest down anymore, Wild.”

“This would then make them my successor, right?”

“It would make their brother your successor.” Someone amends. “I think they just jumped in his place.”

“Leave my brother alone.” You snap back into the present, pocketing your [hone again. “Ok, you know what, screw it. I don’t know what you’d want my brother for but I’m here now. I’d gladly take his place if it means he gets to stay home!”

“Hey.” A boy with pink hair stalks up to you looking a little more serious than you’d like.

“Nice hair dude, way to defy the gender norms.” You smirk a little before genuinely grinning, hoping to quell the tension. “What product do you use? It looks like Artic Fox but not every place sells their brand.”

“...I have no idea what you’re talking about but what happened to Ganon in your world? How have you been handling it?” He snaps and places his hands on his hips.

“Ganon? Like my old principle? That’s a name I haven’t heard in forever.” You’re confused again. “Last I heard he joined the police force only to be reassigned out of state. I don’t know what’s happening with him. Kinda hope he gets fired though. He’s not a bad guy but he’s not someone you’d want in that kind of position of power, you know.”

“Police force?”

You blinked and look them all over. They look very medieval. “Oh... You don’t have that...”

You begin to think about your history lessons and what they might be familiar with if they’re telling the truth about being from Hyrule.

“Ya’ll got knights?”

Many, almost all of them nod, a few with face of despair already on them before you finish speaking.

“It’s kind of like that. Mixed with a towns guard position... kinda. They enforce laws... at least they’re supposed to but the whole system is flawed and racist and really needs to be dismantled for the abuse of power that they have-”

“Abuse? Of power?” You have their attention again.

“It’s stupid and it won’t really make any sense if I try to explain because I doubt you have anything similar but it’s basically a group of people given the right to treat the public in anyway they like for their own benefit because they have no one telling them that they can’t.” You groan and slowly begin to feel your lack of sleep catch up to you. 

You slowly reach to behind you and sit down on the dirt, looking at all of them. “Mr. Dragmire wasn’t like...Demise or anything but he was a huge jerk. No one liked him. He liked me though. I remember that. I was the envy of the whole school because I somehow got on his good side while everyone else wants to strangle him. I think he was transferred for some misdemeanor or something like that... like he might have been throwing hands with someone he wasn’t supposed to. I never heard all the details. I didn’t really care for it when it happened either. I’m pretty sure he lost that fight though. The dude looked like a blast of wind could have knocked him over let alone someone’s knuckle sandwich.”

“I would love to hear more about this.” The youngest sits next to you with a large grin on his face. His eyes are bright and his body language reminds you of your cousin Zelda. You instantly think they’d get along like a house on fire. “What are your monsters like?”

“Monsters?” You tilt your head. “Be a little more specific bud, it depends on where you’re from.”

“You have that many?!”

“It depends on if you believe they’re real or not.”

“Speaking of monsters, can you fight?” The shortest walks up to you. You like that his tunic is stitched up with multiple colors and designs. It gives it personality, you think. “Do you have a weapon you’re more comfortable with?”

The question throws you off your rhythm and you don’t fight your wince. “What would happen if I say that I do not, in fact, have any sort of weapon on me?”

“I wouldn’t believe you.” Pink guy speaks up again. “That pack is huge, there has to be something in there.”

“It’s food, water and extra clothes my guy.” You lean back against said backpack since it won’t let you lay down with it still on. “Not a lot of space for anything else. I’m pretty good at hand to hand combat though. Karate’s a good way to fight out stress.” 

“Your bag’s not magic?”

“Why the hell would it be magic? ...Are you trying to tell me magic actually exists?” You raise an eyebrow as your eyes begin to close against your will. “I know my grandma said it does but I thought she meant like fairies and shadow demons.. and bigfoot. Can’t forget him, he’s the real MVP... You know...Children’s bedtime stories and stuff like that, it’s not real. But like magic magic? Magic items and the like? Find me Tinkerbell and I’ll show you Neverland, that’s what I say.”

“Are you serious?”

“Second star to the right, straight on till morning.” You respond.

There’s a moment of silence as the group in front of you processes your words. It’s hard to tell their reaction since you’re not looking at them but you no longer have the energy to do anything else.

“Are you falling asleep right now?” It’s the one they called Wild.

“I...” You try to open your eyes. They don’t budge. “I haven’t slept in nearly 20 hours... I think. I might have past 24 hours a while ago actually. Portal showed up at like four in the morning... I had to get up at six and I didn’t sleep at all before then.”

More silence.

“Great another one.” Someone scoffs.

You snort.

“Why did we pack up camp again?”

“No one kill me.” You say right before you lose consciousness. “Please and thank you.”

“They’re doomed.”

“Have some faith Vet. They stepped in for their little brother. That has to mean something?”

“They’re in for a rude awakening, and that’s all I have to say about it.”

[kumzume]

glam ft. todoroki shotō [smhub]

wc. 2.8k :3

warnings. ownership, soft-ish!dom reader, edging, v v lowkey pet play (u call him bunny lol), quiet whiny shoto, begging, miss k*nk (?), slight humiliation k*nk, crying, um

an. SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG HOLY S WORD I HOPE ITS OK I DIDNT GET ANYONE TO BETA IT SO IF THERE ARE ISSUES M SO SORRY LOVE YALL TY FOR WAITING

▼・ᴥ・▼

shoto todoroki was so pretty.

it wasn’t like he wasn’t aware — he’d heard the whispers amongst the girls back at U.A. about how attractive he was. that didn’t keep him from believing those words, his insecurities gripping him so tightly that he was unable to even imagine that anyone found him remotely appealing.

that is, until he met you.

when you first transferred into 3-A, the class was thrown into an uproar. you were beautiful, kind, and funny with a powerful quirk to boot! and yet, you never believed that you were better than anyone else, always treating every single person with respect — even bakugou (shoto couldn’t even pretend to understand how you did it but still, the behavior was so undeniably you).

it was all of your remarkable traits that ended up being shoto’s downfall. he believed you were way out of his league — you deserved someone emotionally available and sweet, things that todoroki felt, no knew, he was not. besides, with every single guy in the nearest vicinity falling for you, he knew he didn’t even have a chance.

so, shoto resigned himself to observe you from afar, watching your interactions with his closest friends and classmates, wishing that he could make you smile as wide as kirishima and deku or laugh as hard as sero and denki.

he knew he didn’t measure up and while he tried to make himself okay with that, he felt jealousy bubbling up beneath his skin when he observed shinsou helping you with your homework or bakugou training with you after school.

of course, he realized he didn’t belong to you or you to him and he had no real reason to be envious of whoever you chose to spend your time with but that didn’t stop him from fucking his hand late at night at the thought of you hovering over him, pressing soft kisses to his mangled scar and calling him beautiful.

shoto came embarrassingly quick with that fantasy, the shame and disappointment overwhelming him to the point where he’d purposefully ignored you for days after.

he could tell you were hurt by his behavior — he wasn’t entirely oblivious — but he knew it was for the best. you deserved so much more than him.

the both of you graduated and moved on to your respective agencies, shoto swiftly making his way up to the number 2 spot while you sat comfortably at number 17. neither of you saw each other very often but when you did, conversation was stilted and a bit awkward due to the intense attraction and inability to act on it on shoto’s part.

shoto was willing to go the rest of his life like this; seeing you briefly in passing, stumbling through a discussion with much difficulty, and then returning to his penthouse to hump his pillow and cry out your name.

it was a pretty good system for the most part. shoto had no worries about ever having to face his feelings for you and was content to live out his days suppressing his inner turmoil just for you.

unfortunately, the universe hates him.

at least that’s what he told himself as he stood in the center of a boardroom next to you, clad in your hero outfits and listening to instructions on an upcoming mission that required you and shoto to work together. alone. for days at a time.

what the fuck.

to be honest, shoto completely tuned out the minute he heard “one bedroom,” his mind racing with all the horribly tempting ways his fantasies could play out.

by the time the meeting was over, he was hard in his pants and entirely distracted as you attempted to make friendly small talk about your mission. shoto sort of felt like he should apologize for being an absolute brick wall, giving you curt one word answers until you decided to leave him alone.

he felt bad but what else could he do when you stood there, wearing your obscene hero costume that revealed way too much of your skin?

well, shoto was being a little dramatic but that’s how he felt! your suit was a play on the playboy bunny costume but instead of being black leather (he thinks he would actually die if you wore leather in front of him), it was a white, lightweight fabric that helped with your quirk.

it was entirely too sexy and reminded him a little too much of one of his secret kinks that he was determined to never let see the light of day.

it was going to be ok! he reasoned. all he had to do was do his job, ignore you like he’s done for the past 3 years and everything would be just fine — right?

wrong. so fucking wrong.

the mission had gone well on all accounts. you both had kicked ass, much to your enjoyment, and were able to go back home a day early!

you were so excited to finally be back in your own bed and away from the weird tension that being around todoroki brought. it wasn’t that you didn’t like him — in fact it was quite the opposite.

you found shoto alluring and gorgeous, his awkward yet endearing mannerisms drawing you further into the mystery that was shoto todoroki. regrettably, it didn’t seem like the man in question was on the same page.

every time you tried to speak with him, he would either stutter and blush or refuse to look you in the eye and give you one-word answers. it was actually ridiculously cute but he would always disappear the first chance he got.

it hurt but you weren’t one to push boundaries where you weren’t wanted.

that’s why that night, instead of going back up to the room to watch tv (uncomfortably, might i add) and knocking yourself out, you decided to go down to the bar and celebrate a job well done.

one of the perks of being a relatively unknown hero was that you could enjoy a night in public without anyone approaching you, a luxury you knew not many top 20 heroes could afford.

with that thought — and the memory of the stifling hotel room awaiting you upstairs — in mind, you made your way to the sparsely populated bar, sitting down and immediately requesting a drink (bourbon, on the rocks).

you scanned the area, counting the number of exits and patrons before your eyes landed on the handsome bartender down at the other end of the counter.

with curly brown hair, bright green eyes and a smile that could kill, there was no way you could lie to yourself and say he was unattractive. even as your mind briefly entertained the notion of taking the brunette out into the alley and fucking him within an inch of his life, your heart just wasn’t in it.

your mind just couldn’t stop drifting to the tall, dual-haired, oh so pretty, man who was (inadvertently) waiting for you upstairs. of course, you weren’t even his to wait for but you didn’t know how to keep from imagining that he was.

a deep sigh escaped your parted lips before you downed the rest of your drink, wincing at the burn it left as it went down your throat. it was getting late and you weren’t planning on spending your night alone with the janitor.

you sent the cute bartender a soft smile while pressing a crisp $20 to the counter. he sent you his own grin back as his eyes trailed down your body clad in your tight hero suit, licking his plump lips in arousal.

you were flattered, truly, but you were a little occupied with getting back to your room, changing into some comfortable pajamas and conking the fuck out.

the trip back up to your room was long and arduous to your sore body, the elevators being out of commission leaving you to take the stairs.

by the time you were at your door, you were so worn out that you were ready to collapse but before you could manage placing your key against the lock, something caught your ear.

“p-please miss,” a breathy moan of your name followed by a wet slapping noise rang out through the door. “i’ll be your perfect bunny, just let m-me cum, please-!!”

holy fuck.

shoto todoroki, the man you’d been crushing on since your years at UA was now touching himself to the thought of you doing god know what to him and he was calling you miss?

you felt heat flood your core, your knees buckling under the heavy weight of your lust. now braced against the door, you leaned your ear against the wood, determined to hear exactly what was getting him off.

more wet noises permeated through the walls — did he just spit in his palm??? — before a long whine left his pretty pink lips.

“m-miss, i belong to you, y-you own me,” he gasped, the creaking of the bed just barely audible beneath his wavering voice.

by now, you knew you’d soaked through the crotch of your hero costume, your clit throbbing painfully beneath the fabric of your panties. you also knew you should turn around, head back to the bar and order another drink, leaving shoto to finish himself off but you couldn’t.

your feet were implanted in place, ear glued against the door as you listened to your partner masturbate to the thought of you owning him.

quietly, you lifted the hand gripping your key to the door, allowing the touchpad to register before slowly pushing the door open.

the sight that greeted you was otherworldly.

the blinds were parted allowing a dreamy haze of moonlight to envelop the room, casting the pale man before you in a somehow whimsical light.

he was stripped down to nothing, lying on his back with a hand wrapped around his gorgeous, swollen cock, furiously stroking himself to completion.

the plump lips that you had spent so much time admiring were parted, allowing whines and whimpers to leave them sporadically as his lithe hips bucked up into his hand.

shoto’s eyes were clenched shut so he was unable to see your dumbfounded, painfully aroused face as you crept into the room, leaning against the wall with your hand pressed to your mouth.

it wasn’t as though you’d never seen a man naked before — you’d had your fair share of men naked in your bed begging for you — but this was something else.

this was shoto — somehow more intimidating than anyone else you’d ever brought to bed and yet you’ve never wanted anyone more.

which is why you were almost surprised at yourself when you opened your mouth and whispered, “stop.”

immediately, shoto’s eyes shot open, wide with fear and apprehension as he lied there frozen, his hand still wrapped tightly around his girth.

the both of you stood there staring at one another, neither of you able to move. you let yourself have this moment to look at him, your eyes tracking all over his muscular form before landing on his length, not missing how it twitched under your gaze.

“i-“ shoto started but he was quickly interrupted by your own voice. “s’this what you do when i’m gone? touch yourself to the thought of me? you’re so dirty bunny.”

it was impossible to hide the low groan that echoed out in the hotel room, shoto’s cheeks burning red in humiliation. a grin crept across your face as you made your way towards him, giggling to yourself at the way he moved up and away from you on the bed.

“now you’re trying to hide, bunny? you weren’t hiding when you were moaning out my name.” your hand slid up his thigh until it was resting on his sharp hipbone, an abrupt gasp leaving his chest.

your hand continued its trajectory, fingers trailing across his tummy before coming to wrap around the base of his cock.

“o-oh fuck, miss—“ a thick drop of precum leaked from his slit and onto your awaiting hand as a low moan departed from the dual-haired boy.

one of his hands shot out to hold yours, drawing your attention to his heterochromatic gaze. shoto’s eyes held so much emotion, small tears already littering his lashline while the moonlight illuminated his crimson scar. he was ethereal.

“pretty,” you hummed, giving him a gentle smile while your hand squeezed his in reassurance. you’d had enough experience to know that that kind of comment was guaranteed to get some kind of vulnerability but what you were not expecting was the expletive shoto muttered before leaning forward to press his lips to yours.

immediately, he was over-enthusiastic, his lips and teeth clashing with yours messily, almost painfully, before you took control of the kiss, slowing shoto down before slipping your tongue inside his mouth.

his quiet groan vibrated into the kiss as you deliberately laid him down, resting his back against the pillows. from there, you had more access to his body, your lips trailing down to his neck while your hand took its place back on his length, lazily pumping him up and down.

“m-miss!” shoto choked, his eyes widening yet again, holding you with his stare. you chose not to respond, instead stroking him quicker while pressing kisses to his shoulder.

“miss,” he tried again, this time more deliberately. “p-please tell me i’m yours...”

with him asking so sweetly, a few tears leaking from his gorgeous eyes at the overwhelming moment, how were you supposed to deny him?

“of course bunny,” you purred, leaning down to peck his nose, sending shivers through his body. “you are mine.”

shoto’s reaction was instantaneous. his eyes rolled back in his head and his mouth dropped open as he felt his pleasure begin to crest, determined to push him over the edge.

you, of course, noticed his body’s response and quickly pulled your hand off of him, painfully ripping his orgasm from his grasp. a disappointed whimper resonated throughout the room as shoto’s eyes found yours, staring at you with such betrayal that you almost found it funny.

“c’mon bunny,” you moved until you were kneeling between his legs, your hands leaving featherlight touches to his inner thighs. “you can hold out for me, right?”

shoto nodded before he could stop himself, desperate for anything you would give him.

besides, it couldn’t be that hard to hold off, right?

...

wrong. so very wrong.

it had only been 30 minutes but it felt like 2 hours since you started playing with him and keeping him from coming.

shoto was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, both hands tangled in his bi-colored locks, eyes squeezed shut with tear tracks now drying on his cheeks and his cock standing fully at attention.

it was purple, throbbing, and covered in precum as you licked a stripe up the side making shoto sob in pleasure.

he had never been harder in his life and he was certain that he would just die if you didn’t let him cum soon.

“p-please, please, miss, please, let me cum,” he babbled, shaking his head mindlessly while bucking his hips up into the warm heat of your mouth.

you chose to ignore his pleas while you moved your mouth over his tip, sucking hard while your hand pumped what wasn’t in your mouth.

“a-ah-!!” shoto shrieked, his back bowing off the bed, his orgasm coming on so hard and so fast that he felt like he was going to explode. “c-can’t hold back m-miss, i can’t, i can’t!”

your hand continued to pick up speed before you pulled your mouth off of him, toying with his tip while leaning up to breathe into his ear.

“cum for me bunny. you’re mine.”

with a cry of your name, shoto came, thick spurts of cum covering his abs, chest and thighs as his body convulsed under the weight of his bliss.

it was the most all encompassing orgasm he’d ever had and you, his former classmate, current partner, and future lover, was beside him through it all, helping him ride it out.

in the back of his mind, shoto knew he should be at least a little worried about how your relationship was going to change after all of this but he couldn’t bring himself to care. you were here and now, bringing him the most pleasure he’d ever undergone with nothing but kind words and a smile, filling his touchstarved heart with heat and, dare he say it, love.

shoto may not have been the funniest or the most open but you chose him, even if it was just for the night. and now that he unlocked how much he loved you, nothing else mattered — just you and him.

as he collapsed back into the sheets, his head just barely registering the cool rag wiping him down, he took pride in how he finally admitted it to himself; shoto loved you and he would be damned if he let anyone else take him away from you.

now, all he had to do was tell you but that was a conversation for another day.

▼・ᴥ・▼

taglist. if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you!!

@anikazoldeck • @hakunamatatayqueen • @alilsumnsumn • @sukunaslefttesticle • @hawksyoongi • @rivviespens • @kenmas-nintendoswitch • @myumyutie • @unicorngluttony • @bloomyagi • @shantellmcintosh • @queenhxla • @yeyehdom • @persies-main • @yikes-buddy • @nnmesis • @thehandsresisthim • @hinatabokeboke • @joongsite • @amazinghefi • @sarcasticambiguity • @mr-bombastic • @i-am-literally-deranged • @ch0pi • @aonjuh • @www-bubblefish • @meliorist-midoriya • @maizurie • @idkdude776 • @midarislonglostlefteye • @queerloser17 • @franklyrobin • @ravioliplease • @ashsera • @chirumi • @yamashiro888 • @xxjosiexx • @krstnn • @bbsista • @seij6hs • @franklyrobin • @chirumi • @melodysakura

[ericspinkhair]

unexpectedly becoming a sugar baby

pairing: ceo!sunwoo x fem!reader

word count: 3.4k

synopsis: reader is desperate for money so she has sex with her boss

warnings: lots of oral and fingering, use of vibrator in public , office sex, sex for money

a/n: wrote this yesterday instead of studying for my final. the exam went well tho :) also please send in requests!!!

masterlist + requests

to say you were desperate would be an understatement. today you had received an eviction notice that stated that you had exactly 30 days to either pay back all the money you owed your landlord or leave your apartment.

due to your mother's illness you had to pay for all her medical bills. your father hadn't been in the picture for a long time so you alone were responsible for your mother's health. you couldn't just let her die. but because of all these costs you hadn't been able to pay your rent and now you were on the verge of homelessness.

never in a lifetime did you imagine that you would be begging someone for help. you felt so helpless that you honestly didn't really care how you got the money.

you decided to ask your boss for a raise and were prepared to work your ass off in order to get it.

mr. kim's office was on the fourth floor of the company, one you barely had ever been to. normal employees were usually only to be found on the lower floors so taking the elevator up felt wrong.

you were determined, however, to not let your pride get in the way. the money was more important than how you felt.

you knocked on the door twice. as if to make you feel even more nervous, it seemed like mr. kim waited extra long to respond.

when you entered he was sitting behind his desk. he didn't even look up at you so you just stood there awkwardly, unsure what to do.

'why don't you just sit?' he finally asked annoyed and closed his laptop.

you quickly took a seat and tried to put up a professional front.

'what can I do for you, um…' 'y/n,' you helped him out. 'right, y/n. what can I do for you?' he asked.

'I would like to ask for a raise, sir. you see, I am usually the first employee to enter the building and also most of the time the last one to leave. I do my work reliably and deliver solid results. my coworkers are pleased with me and we also get along well. I think I contribute a lot to this company and wanted to ask whether it would be possible to raise my pay.' you really tried to not make it seem like you had simply memorized all of this and forced yourself to speak slowly but firmly while looking him in the eyes.

mr. kim didn't respond at first but opened his laptop.

'to my understanding you have been working here for a very long time already. your pay is already the highest it can get. there is no way for me to raise it because there is no room for improvement.' he sighed and waited for your reaction.

you started sweating. this wasn't going as planned. you hadn't known that you were already receiving the highest pay. you were barely able to afford food with your current money.

'please, sir. I will do anything you ask of me. I don't care how many extra hours I'd have to work. I can do it. I promise. please give me a chance,' you begged him.

he was intrigued by you. why were you so desperate for the money?

'first, why don't you tell me why you are so keen on a raise?'

was your boss even allowed to ask you such personal questions? you answered anyway.

'my mother has cancer. I am the only person paying for her medical expenses and the treatments are all very expensive. I am about to get evicted because I cannot pay my rent.'

he seemed to be deep in thought. his gaze on you was intense.

your heart skipped a beat when he placed his hand on yours.

'y/n, I'm extremely sorry that you have to deal with all of this. I wouldn't want anyone to have to experience the same thing. believe me when I tell you that I want to help you. you know what? come back tomorrow. I have an idea how I might be able to help but I need to think about it further. would that be alright for you?'

it felt like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders. you didn't care about what you had to do. you stood up, bowed deeply and thanked him over and over.

he let out a deep chuckle. you were cute.

the next day you came back again in the afternoon. this time he answered the door quicker and his attention was focused on you from the start. the energy felt much different than the day before. he seemed excited and was smiling at you. this had to mean good news, right? he shook your hand and pressed firmly while looking you deep in the eyes.

'y/n, I came up with an idea to help you. but it is less conventional and it depends on how much you are willing to do.'

'mr. kim, I will do anything,' you assured him. the smirk he flashed you threw you off guard.

'okay then. first, I'd prefer it if you called me sunwoo as we'll be seeing more of each other if you were to agree.'

this lowkey felt like crossing some boundaries but you wanted to please him.

you nodded eagerly. 'okay, sunwoo it is.'

'so my idea is that there are certain things you can do to earn money. I will pay for everything with my own savings and you will receive it in cash. we will start off easy and over time I'll add new tasks. of course, you have the freedom to choose whether you want to do them or not. that is completely up to you.'

the look of confusion on your face must have told him you didn't fully understand.

'it's hard to explain. I'd rather you figure it out by trying it. since today is friday, the task I'll give you is for monday. I would like to choose an outfit for you. I'll send it to your apartment and you have to wear exactly what is inside the box. if you were to do this I'd give you $20 cash.'

that was a weird request. why would he want to decide what you were wearing? did he not like your outfit? did you look disgusting?

'let me get this straight. you pick an outfit for me and if I decide to wear it I get money?' you ask him to see if you had understood correctly.

'exactly. that doesn't seem so bad, right?' you shook your head. it was whatever.

'that's great. you'll receive your outfit and I can't wait to see you in it on monday.' you didn't know if you were imagining it but it seemed like he was eyeing your body. h god, he definitely didn't like what you were wearing.

$20 wasn't much but still more than nothing. and apparently the other tasks would be worth more. guess you had to start somewhere. with the money you could at least afford something to eat.

you say goodbye and continued with work until it was time to leave.

you waited anxiously all weekend for the clothes. sunday you decided to go for a walk and when you opened your door you almost tripped over a package.

on monday morning you tried on the outfit sunwoo had picked out for you.

the white blouse was a bit see through and a bit too tight around the boob area but looked neat otherwise. the black skirt hugged your curves perfectly and made you look quite sexy in your opinion. he even picked out a bra, underwear, stockings and high heels for you. the note he had left clearly stated to wear exactly and only what was in the box. so you did.

you usually wore something more simple and loose but you didn't feel too uncomfortable in this look.

when you entered his office his eyes lit up.

'I'm glad you wore this. it looks very good on you.'

you were sure you blushed a bit at his words. you weren't really used to receiving compliments from men.

'I like it too,' you admit. sunwoo smiled contentedly.

'so would you like to do the same tomorrow? I'll send you another outfit,' he asked you.

this one wasn't bad at all so you agreed. he handed you $20. when you stood up and walked out the door he couldn't stop admiring the way your butt looked in the skirt. tomorrow was going to be even better.

the blouse was almost the same one. however, this time the skirt was a lot shorter. it ended at the middle of your thighs. but that wasn't even the weirdest thing. this time he had forgotten to send you panties.

you felt very unsure what to do. the note clearly stated to only wear what was in the box.

you sighed and pulled down the skirt as much as you could. this would have to do. as long as you were just sitting, everything would be fine.

you went about your day and some time in the afternoon you were called into sunwoo's office.

you were wondering whether or not to tell him about the missing underwear but decided to keep your mouth closed. panties didn't seem to be a topic to talk about with your boss.

'today, I want to offer you an additional task. you will receive your $20 dollars for sure and you can make another 30 by cleaning my office. what do you think?' he proposed to you.

that would be $50 in total. you needed all the money you could get.

'of course. just tell me what to clean and I will be happy to help.'

everything was going according to sunwoo's plan. he was excited and told you you could start by dusting the shelves.

your eagerness was cute and he watched you out of the corner of his eyes.

some of the shelves were higher up so you had to stretch to be able to reach them. when you did your skirt rolled up higher and he was able to see the just the outline of your butt cheeks. he unconsciously licked his lips.

for the rest of the week you continued these two tasks. but you noticed that the underwear kept on missing and the skirts also progressively became shorter.

this was a struggle when you were cleaning and organizing his office. you were aware of your skirt rolling up and you were hoping that sunwoo wouldn't notice.

of course he did. that had been his intention all along. when you bent down he could sometimes get a glance at your pretty pussy. he couldn't help but get hard at the sight of this and palmed his bulge through his pants.

in one week you had received $220. you would have been more happy if you hadn't gotten another bill from the hospital asking you for another $1200. the health care system was simply fucked up. whatever the next tasks were, you had to do them.

on monday you were cleaning his office again. you wanted to pick up some files but you struggled reaching them from the highest shelf. you felt your skirt roll up again.

'wait. I'll help you,' sunwoo announced and walked over.

you gasped as you felt something hard poke your thigh as he stood behind you to reach for the files. when he took a step back you saw the clear outlines of his hardened cock.

unable to hide your surprise, sunwoo laughed.

'this is all your doing.' so he did notice your skirt roll up. wait. had he given you these clothes with this in mind?

'do you want to touch it?' he asked.

you just blinked at him. what? were you perhaps still dreaming? it was possible that you were having a wet dream about your boss. sunwoo was very handsome and you had to be blind not to notice.

'if you help me get rid of it, I'll promise you $100.' he knew you were thinking hard. you couldn't keep your eyes off his bulge, clearly not sure what to think of this.

this was against all the work protocols but you would kid yourself if you said that you didn't want to. not only was he very attractive but you'd do a lot for a mere $100.

you reached for his belt. sunwoo smirked; he had won.

you pulled his pants down and were immediately greeted with his veiny cock.

'you aren't the only one not wearing any underwear, my dear y/n.'

so that had been intentional. interesting. you realized you must have been very naive to have believed that he had simply forgotten to put panties in the boxes.

you started by rubbing the tip softly with your thumb. it was pretty and pink and already leakined pre-cum.

you felt strangely good about having this kind of effect on someone. with a few pumps his dick was completely hard.

sunwoo propped his hands on the desk behind him and leaned back in bliss.

deep moans were escaping his beautifully luscious lips while you were pleasuring him with your hands.

you decided to put your left hand you use as well by massaging his balls.

'fuck! when did you learn to do this so well?' sunwoo groaned.

during high school you had had a lot of sex. it made you feel good and you enjoyed it. now your experience turned out to be lifesaving to you. well, he'd probably pay you even if you weren't as mind blowing.

'hmm, practice,' you simply state.

'if this is already so good I wonder what your mouth can do, baby girl.' being called that aroused you way more than expected. this was so exciting.

'I'll give you another $100 if you suck me off.'

before sunwoo knew it you had already wrapped your lips around his cock. you skillfully bobbed your head up and down. when you looked up at him with big eyes he swore he was about to explode.

with most of the dick in your mouth your other hand was continuing to knead his balls.

he was coming close quickly and grabbed your hair so you would stay still.

he proceeded to fuck your mouth harshly. you felt spit running down the sides of your lips and tears escaping your eyes as he buried his cock deep in your mouth. you tried to relax in order to deep-throat him properly.

he came hard and emptied his load in your mouth. to prove a point, you swallowed it and then opened up to show him.

panting hard he said: 'fuck you're just amazing!'

you looked absolutely delicious with your face full of cum. he had a good feeling you were the right person to do this with.

you licked off some of the white liquid from your lips and smirked at him.

this was definitely not what you had expected what you would be doing but you weren't one to complain.

sunwoo quickly disappeared to search for some paper towels to clean your face. his employees couldn't see you like this.

after your face was clean again he handed you $250. 'you deserve it.' 'thanks.'

he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and leaned closer. 'maybe we can do more tomorrow.' ooh, sounds exciting.

'then I'll look forward to seeing you.' with a wink you left.

you wondered how much money you would get for some sexy time with your boss.

the next morning, you couldn't fully button up the blouse he had sent you. the top buttons had to be left open and a lot of cleavage was visible. this horndog!

this time you actually received some underwear but only for a special reason. you found a pink mini vibrator in the box as well.

so you were walking around with a vibrating stick up your pussy. you didn't want to come in front of your co-workers so you turned it off whenever you got too close and waited to calm down.

'did you have fun today?' was the first thing sunwoo said to you.

you laughed ironically. 'I had so much fun pretending I wasn't being masturbating in front of everyone…'

he made you turn around and lifted up your skirt. the outline of the vibrator was visible and he could see your panties shaking.

with one quick move he pulled your underwear down and took the vibrator to turn it off. it came out with a wet plop and juices were running down your thighs.

sunwoo surprised you by sucking on the wet vibrator.

'sit on the desk,' he commanded you.

you did as you were told and sunwoo spread your legs wide apart.

he inserted his index and middle finger which slipped in with ease. your pussy made wet noises as he pushed them in and out of you.

finally having privacy you allowed yourself to make sounds. he made intense eye contact while fingering you, loving the way your face was scrunched up in pleasure.

you wrapped your arms around his neck and started kissing him. his tongue easily won the fight over dominance and started exploring your mouth.

you two were basically just sucking each others faces off until he broke off the kiss and lowered his body. he attached his mouth to your clit and started sucking. you pulled at his hair in pleasure and had a hard time controlling your breathing. damn, he was skilled at this as well.

when he felt you clenching around his fingers he withdrew them and you let out a disappointed noise of protest.

'don't worry. you'll have more soon.', he laughed at you. he quickly took off his pants and pulled you off the desk. he turned you around so your ass was facing him.

he started rubbing his thick cock between your ass cheeks and coated it in your juices. every time he got into contact with your tense pussy a shudder overcame your body.

he lifted your leg and placed your foot on the table. the angle from when he thrusted into you from behind was just perfect.

sunwoo attached his lips onto your neck and started leaving hickeys there. at the same time he was kneading your breast through your shirt.

he had barely ever felt such a perfect pussy around his cock. the way you took him in seemed too good to be true.

while his dick was still inside you, he lifted you up and placed you on all fours on the floor.

he grabbed your hips so tightly that he left red marks on them. at this point, he was just uncontrollably slamming into you while you were losing your mind. you were screaming his name loudly, glad that you knew no one could hear you.

as you could feel both of you getting close, he pulled your upper body up to his chest and wrapped one hand around your neck.

the pressure he applied was just enough for you to see stars but not enough for it to be unpleasant.

the lack of oxygen stimulated your senses even more and while repeatedly screaming out sunwoo's name you finally came hard on his dick.

with a few more thrusts, sunwoo's hips started stuttering as well and he shot his load into you. while riding out your highs he was just fucking his cum right back into you.

when he finally pulled out, a pool of his semen started dripping out of you. you suddenly felt so empty. his thick cock had filled you up so good that you were already missing it.

while you were still catching your breath on the floor, sunwoo had gone to get paper towels.

when he came back, however, he seemed hectic.

'I'm so sorry. there has been an emergency and I need to leave right now. I'll leave these here as well as the money.' he placed everything on the desk and walked back to the door.

he turned around one last time. 'I hope we can do this again.' he smiled at you.

you later saw that he had left you $750.

kind of becoming a sugar baby had never been your plan but you didn't mind it. if only the circumstances had been better.

[sxvitar]

BSD: How would Atsushi, Ranpo, Dazai, And Akutagawa react to you wearing their clothes?

Also, before I start the reader can be male or female! I always make sure to include both genders in my story so everyone can read it UNLESS it’s a smut. Thank you for understanding!

Atsushi

Atsushi would of been out getting dumplings for you guys since he didn’t want to cook and neither did you. Little did he realized that he would come home to a very, very cute surprise.

While you waited for your sweet Atsushi, you started going through your guys’s wardrobe to see what you’d wear for the evening. Something comfy enough and big. That’s where you got a cheeky idea.

Why not wear his clothes?! It would be a great idea. His clothes are so big on him and well you, you were smaller so it’d work perfectly!

You wore his famous white, long sleeved buttoned up shirt with his black work pants. They were so baggy that they kept falling but you placed a small pin it to keep it from doing so.

Sitting down, with a sigh of relief and coziness overwhelming you, you decided to wait for him to see his reaction.

A half an hour later Atsushi had came back. He looked for you and when he found you, he screamed in shock.

“W—WHAT- HOW- SHSISHSHSJ??”

This man was in full on panic mode. The dumplings had been thrown somewhere in the table and he was just looking at you with red cheeks.

Once he calmed down, he finally had hugged you in a warm, strong embrace and decided to cuddle you on the couch. Forget the dumplings, his lover wearing his clothes will always be better!

“Man, how did I come to deserve such a cutie pie?”

Akutagawa

Your boyfriend was a busy man. He worked for the port mafia obviously. But, the days that he does come home it felt like wonderland. Despite also working for the port mafia, you guys had different schedules. To be honest, you might even beg chuuya to have the same schedule as Akutagawa.

He was out shopping for his sister since she needed a new dress for a date and him being overprotective, wanted to help choose the dress. You knew he’d come home soon since Akutagawa does crave your love. You couldn’t wait for his food, too.

He was such an amazing chef that your tastebuds would melt each time he made something for you. So, you decided to reward all the times he cooked for you with..

Wearing his clothes! You knew how flustered your boyfriend would be and how it’d turn him on so.. why not?

You decided on wearing his favorite hoodie that covered you all the way to your knees. You weren’t wearing anything under just to tease him.

When Akutagawa came home, he knew something was up. Turning to you, he raised a brow before seeing that was his own hoodie, dropping his bags.

He stood there frozen, making even you worried. It took him about a minute to process it. Once he was able to process it, he gulped and looked at you with pink cheeks.

“M-Make sure to wear my clothes everytime I come back home.. got it? Also, wear something under that hoodie!”

Akutagawa threw you some shorts making you laugh, back hugging him as he prepares some food. Although, something did happen that night. Akutagawa’s inner beast came out~

Dazai

Dazai was such a flirt. Even you couldn’t handle it despite dating him for two years now! He had new pick up lines, mostly bad ones but they made you fall for the suicidal dork even more.

To your surprise, when he first met you he didn’t ask if you both could die together. Instead, he wanted to get to know you more. When you guys started dating, it’s like his suicidal urges left him. They’re still there but it’s like you healed him in a way.

You helped Dazai confront his past and he couldn’t love you even more for that. So, he decided to cherish you until the end.

You and him had a night shift at the detective agency both of you worked at. Of course, you guys went home first to get ready for the shift and get all comfortable!

When Dazai had left to get snacks from the nearest store that’s when you decided to pull your naughty idea.

Let’s wear his clothes. Wouldn’t be so bad right? You especially wore something so loose that would make anybody question what your true body figure is. You wore one of his oversized navy blue sweaters with some shorts under it. The sweater went past your knees as Dazai was so tall and you were short.

When he came back, you were at the front door to greet him. A small smirk greeted Dazai’s face and your face dropped with pink cheeks.

“My, my.. look at you, so cute. I wonder if you’re wearing anything under Hmm?~”

That went overboard. You were expecting a flustered Dazai the way to the agency! God damn it. Next thing you know you guys were in bed, forgetting the night shift.

Ranpo

You and Ranpo had first met when you wanted to get hired at the detective agency.

He had looked at you with his attractive, green burning stare and decided to hire you because you were so cute to him! It shocked you and everyone else as that shouldn’t be why you hired someone but he knew you could prove your worthiness to his beloved home.

After that, Ranpo showed you around and you guys started having a connection. After that, lord and behold- you guys were dating. Did it shock anyone? Not at all! It was so obvious his best friend Yosano was laughing her ass off.

Today you weren’t expecting your boyfriend to come early from a long case. That was the chance you were able to take in his scent from his clothes and cuddle in them. He had came with a pile of snacks as usual and had dropped them in the living room. Ranpo expected you to be there but didn’t see you, so you must of been in the bedroom.

When he entered he wasn’t expecting you dancing in one of his shirts he’d wear to work. Just his shirt! It made him squint and pout at how you could be cuter than the great Ranpo!

“How can you be cuter than me?!”

He opened his eyes and still had his pout, but his eyes told you something else. You thought it would be cuddles and fun when he found out but his stare had lust in them despite the pout.

God, he looked so hot that your cheeks got pink when you stared at those green orbs.

“Well.. I don’t mind you being cuter than me. Let’s see if my intentions can make you even cuter than that.”

Rip your whole lower body.

I hope you enjoyed this! I’ll be releasing a second version of the people who I didn’t write if it gets a lot of love.

[thekingslover]

Jetski For Sale (Lokius fic)

He stops riding the jetski.

He keeps it on the small trailer at the end of his driveway beside his modest split-level home and covers it with a blue tarp.

Every morning, in his brown button-up pajamas and a bathrobe, he walks to the end of the driveway and collects the morning paper. He’s careful to hold his coffee mug steady as he leans down, but he always manages to spill a drop or two. His slippers are covered in tiny coffee spots.

He tucks the newspaper under his arm and turns back toward his house. He left the television on; through the window, the screen flashes with the bright white letters, Breaking News! Two houses down, his neighbor is already out mowing the lawn. Further away, a dog barks.

Though he lives alone, it’s a perfect life. Everything’s simple. His mortgage is affordable. His brown sedan is paid off. And the jetski...

He doesn’t remember buying it. He always wanted one, dreamed of it. He had a savings set aside for someday. Yet... his savings is still there, and he still has this jetski.

He looks at it now, at the way it bulges under the tarp. A shame to leave it like that. He should take it out again. But the last time he did that...

Shaking his head, he walks back to the house. He drinks his coffee and reads his newspaper. He goes to work, comes home, goes to sleep, and does it all again the next day.

“Something’s different about you,” his sister says on the phone, their weekly call. “You sound different.”

“Same old me.” He’s good at keeping back his feelings and pushing forward the cheer.

She knows, though. Older sisters always seem to. “Are you sure you haven’t been seeing anyone lately?”

This sends him laughing. “A secret boyfriend? Come on, you have quite an imagination on you.”

“Laugh all you want,” she says, stern. She’s not backing down, though her voice does soften as she adds, “It’s only that you... Well, you sound... heartbroken.”

“That’s...” He should deny it. He hasn’t dated anyone in a good long while, but, well, now that she mentions it... He’s had his heart broken before, long ago, and it felt a little something like this. Like something crucial is suddenly missing. Like you spent so much time learning someone and adapting to them, shaping whole parts of your life around them, and then they are just... gone.

There’s a person-sized hole in his life now, but he can’t quite remember their shape.

No, that can’t be.

“That’s crazy,” he says, thinking, maybe I’m crazy.

“Why don’t you come visit us for a while?” she says. “The kids would love to see you.”

“Yeah,” he says, shaky. “Yeah, maybe that’s a good idea. Tell them I love them. Love you too.” Then he hangs up.

*

That night, he lays on his back in bed and stares at the ceiling, afraid to look to his right. He used to sleep sprawled across the entire width of the bed, a true bachelor enjoying his bachelorhood. When did he start picking one side?

He turns over, facing away from the barren expanse of the rest of the mattress, but the bookshelf offers little comfort. Most of his books are about history, biographies on interesting characters from the past. There’s a couple of jetski magazines wedged in, too. But what catches his eye... He remembers buying it, knows he did, the morning after watching a documentary on the perception of time and space. The documentarian had written a book. The Mobius Strip.

Frowning, he doesn’t find any sleep that night, no matter how many long minutes he closes his eyes, or how many sheep he tries to count in his head.

Mobius.

It’s a mathematical theory. Not a name. But it wedges between his ribs and stays buried behind them.

He’s not even a maths guy! But he can’t shake it. It feels heavy, too important.

He tosses and turns. He reaches out to the other side of the bed, realizes its empty, and snaps upright, dread overtaking him for one sharp moment before he remembers that its supposed to be empty.

This is normal. This is his perfect little life.

He flops back into bed and runs a hand down his face. Maybe he should go visit his sister, before he fully loses his mind.

*

His hands shake the next morning when he walks out to get the newspaper at the end of the driveway. Half his coffee spills when he leans to pick it up, but its fine. Maybe he should give up coffee entirely. Maybe too much caffeine is his problem.

He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him.

Turning towards the house, he spots the jetski, there under the blue tarp. The mysterious jetski that he doesn’t remember buying. The one, when he’s out on it, he sits too far forward, like he’s making space for someone behind him. But there’s no one there. There’s never anyone there.

The jetski, he decides, was the start of his problems. Maybe if he... If he...

Storming back into the house, he leaves what’s left of his coffee in the sink and the newspaper forgotten on the counter, and hurries into the office. He rips off a long sheet of dot matrix printer paper. Biting off the cap of his pen, he scribbles on it in large block letters, all caps, FOR SALE.

Back in the driveway, he removes the chocks from behind the wheels of the trailer, and flips off the tarp. He wheels the trailer and the jetski to the end of the driveway, right up against the road.

He must look like a mad man, out there in his brown button-up pajamas and coffee-stained slippers. The neighbor’s mowing the lawn. The dog’s barking further away. Everything’s perfect in this perfect little neighborhood, this perfect little life. But he feels like he is going insane.

He slaps the for sale sign on the front of the jetski, and starts back for the house. The sooner that thing is out of his life... Maybe... Maybe things would go back to normal.

His heart pangs in a way he doesn’t understand. Heartache. So much heartache. Why?

Does he even want normal?

But if not that, then what? What is he missing?

He’s at his front door, hand on the doorknob, when someone politely coughs behind him. He pauses a moment, there’s no way someone is there... But when he glances over his shoulder - yeah. Someone’s behind him, only a few feet away.

Not just someone. The most gorgeous person he has ever seen, wearing a sleek black suit and a pair of sunglasses. Long dark hair is slicked back and pushed behind their ears.

He should probably feel self-conscious, standing there in his brown pajamas in front of this god of a person - probably a model - but he doesn’t. Strangely, he feels more at ease now than he has in weeks. His whole body relaxes like he finally exhaled a held breath.

But that doesn’t make sense. They’ve never met. He would remember.

He would never forget a face like that.

“Hello,” the person says, and the word tremors slightly.

“Hello.” It tremors when he says it too.

There’s no car on the road. No bicycle on the sidewalk. However this person got here, it’s like they dropped down from the sky.

The person clears their throat. “You’re selling the jetski?”

“You...” He blinks. He knew jetskis were popular - hell, they are the best - but he hadn’t expected an offer before he even got his pants on. “Yeah. You interested?”

“Yes, I...” They drop their head a moment, taking their time to think. When they lift their head again, their shoulders lift too, like they are preparing for a battle.

He supposes negotiations can be seen as a battle, but he can’t bring himself to match the person’s pose. He’s ready to give up the jetski for free at this point. Whatever gets it gone.

The person asks, “What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing’s wrong with it. It runs like a dream.”

“Then why get rid of it?”

His heart hurts, so he laughs through the pain. It’s silly, but he can’t help feel his sister was right. This person wouldn’t know either way, so he finds himself telling them, “I’m heartbroken.”

The person goes very still. Their mouth opens and they take in a shaky, noisy breath. When they say, “What?” the word is bone dry and crumbling.

“It’s something we did together... I think.” He’s making it up, but it feels right. So he keeps talking. “And now. Well. It kinda reminds me of... I’m pretty sure I forgot a lot of things, but I can’t forget that. There’s supposed to be someone else. And I can’t... I can’t...”

He’s not making any sense, but the person is hanging on every single word.

“Anyway,” he says. “I’ll let it go cheap. Too many memories... or... I don’t know, feelings?” He sighs. “Just make me an offer, okay? I have to get ready for work.”

He wants nothing more than to keep this beautiful person on his doorstep, but... well, life isn’t always about getting what you want. This person wants a jetski, he has one. A transaction will occur, and this person will move forward like he never existed.

He’ll be left behind again.

Again?

Now, he’s the one to stand a little straighter. “Do you ever get deja vu?”

“Deja vu?”

“You know, where you feel like you’ve lived an exact moment already, once before. I’ve been reading this book about mobius strips and...” There’s that pang again, in his chest. A subtle ache that is swelling. He wants to ignore it, like he always has, but he’s finding he can’t really anymore. “Don’t you think that’d be a cool name? Mobius. Mobius M. Mobius.” He laughs, and it hurts. It hurts.

The person doesn’t laugh. Instead, they take a small step back. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

His laughter dies quickly. It wasn’t real anyway. “You don’t want the jetski?”

“I do,” the person says with naked longing. “More than anything.”

“Then its yours.” He shrugs. “You know, it kinda feels like it was already yours? Like, maybe its just been waiting around for you to show up and claim it.”

The person shakes their head. “It’s better off without me. It finally has a chance to... to... live the way you - it deserves...”

“I mean, that’s a nice thought. But in practice... wouldn’t it be better for jetskis to decide for themselves the kind of lives they want? Whose to say that their life before was all that great? Because let me tell you, this perfect little normal life I’m living? Kinda sucks.” He doesn’t really understand what he’s saying, but the words still fall out of him, like ripping a scab off an old wound and all the blood starts running again.

The person takes another step back, but this time, he follows, taking a step forward. Somehow, it feels crucial that he not let this person leave him behind again.

There, another again. What is he not remembering?

“There’s something terribly wrong with all this,” he says. “I’m forgetting something important, but whatever it is - whoever - I don’t think I can be happy without them. Not really. Not in any way that matters.”

“Mobius...” the person says, soft, under their breath. Stronger, “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

And the dam breaks.

“I know exactly what I’m saying, Loki.” The name, that name. How could he forget that name?

The person - Loki - exhales again, watery this time.

“Maybe if we never met, this would be enough. Maybe it was once. But not anymore. Never again. Not since you. And not even your little mind hocus pocus could change that.”

Mobius takes another step forward. This time, Loki does not move back. They stay just as they are and let Mobius close the distance. Mobius lifts his hands to Loki’s face and slowly removes those sunglasses. Loki’s eyes have always been the most expressive - the easiest to read. No wonder they would try to hide them. Because now they shine with sorrow and regret and... love. So much love.

And that, Mobius knows, is exactly what he’s been looking for when he reaches out to the empty space beside him on the bed. When he sits in his kitchen and stares at the pulled-out chair across the table. When he rides his jetski and turns, ready to laugh with the missing person behind him.

“I’m not angry,” Mobius says, tossing the sunglasses aside. He takes one of Loki’s hands in his. Loki grips hard onto his fingers. “I understand why you did it. It’s kind of flattering really, to know you’d give up your own happiness to try to give me mine. But there was a very big problem with this latest Loki scheme.”

“What’s that?” Loki asks in a whisper.

Mobius gives them a smile. The first real one since they parted. “You’re unforgettable.”

Loki laughs once, a burst, like they’ve been holding something in and now its escaping. The hard lines of their face smooth out. And they look less like a frightened, broken shadow and more like themselves, god of mischief, with a small but growing smirk. “Of course. I suppose I should have considered that.”

“Big flaw. Ruined the whole thing, to be honest.”

Loki leans closer. “I hate to admit to fault, but I fear there was a second issue that I had not considered.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

“Your absolute stubbornness.”

“Stubborn? Me? You should look in the mirror, pal.”

Loki closes their eyes a moment. Mobius studies the planes of their perfect face, and wonders how, in all the infinite timelines, he ever forgot it. 

“Loki,” Mobius says. “Do me a favor, though, huh? Don’t do this again. I... uh, well. It wasn’t the most fun for me.”

“Me, either.” Loki presses their forehead to Mobius’s. “I regretted every moment, but I... The TVA stole you from your life. I wanted to -”

“I know, I get it. I’m not mad. But communication is key to a relationship, yeah? So maybe next time you want to do a grand gesture of love for me, we should talk about it first?”

Loki leans back. They blink. But it’s not the love that trips them up, it’s, “Relationship?”

Mobius runs his hands along Loki’s arms, up to the shoulders and back down to the elbows. “Yeah. I mean, we’re partners, right?”

“Partners.” Loki doesn’t say the word with disgust, more... intrigue.

“Boyfriends?” Mobius tries.

“Boyfriends.” Loki frowns at that one.

“Lovers?”

Loki’s eyes are bright and full of wonder. How they could look at Mobius, someone so normal, like that... well. Loki makes Mobius feel like a god himself, no wonder he couldn’t go back to his old life.

“Lovers,” Loki says and kisses Mobius. Mobius smiles against their lips. Lovers, it is, then.

Kiss turns to kisses, and they linger. It’s right, so right that it further amplifies how wrong everything else was before. Mobius belongs here. Right here. With Loki. Forever, if possible.

When they break, they both laugh, and it’s light and true this time, for both of them.

“Hey, Loki,” Mobius says. “Want to buy a jetski?”

Loki pulls an annoyed face, but its all an act - Mobius sees right through it, and Loki’s not trying that hard to hide it. “I believe I’m the one who acquired that jetski for you. You have no right to sell it.”

“It was a gift,” Mobius says.

“It remains a gift. One I insist you keep.”

“Alright, alright,” Mobius laughs and Loki kisses him at the corner of his smile. “But only if you promise to keep me.”

“Oh, dear Mobius.” Loki brings their mouth to Mobius’s ear. “I hope you appreciated this display of selflessness, because I will not be repeating it.”

“Good.”

“I am a selfish god.”

“Uh, huh.”

Loki’s arms grip tightly around Mobius’s waist. “And from here to eternity, I will be keeping what’s mine.”

The last remaining knots in Mobius’s chest untangle. “And the jetski.”

“And the jetski,” Loki says and kisses him again.

[dancingazaleas]

𖨆. 08 / all for us

summary: levi decides to walk you through his garden on a rainy day. you didn���t think that you’d end up having another antagonist though.

note: oh my god, i am deeply sorry that this took such a long time. i’ve been way too busy to actually sit down and get into the mindset of this book. i’m so sorry.

word count: +2.4k

taglist: @voltairelesecond @baelo80 @the-sun-baby @uniquepickle @ascybous @messyhairday-me @stupid-stinky @saturnalya @megumitodoroki @kouyume @quacksonlover81 @gipumaur @morgana-olson @yourodangoatama

warnings/notes: cursing, creepy gestures, fluff, slight confusion, unedited, let me know if i missed anything

RAINDROPS pelted against the glass of the window gently, the sound echoing throughout the quiet room that is your bedroom.

today, levi had decided he would just spend his time with you in the comfort of your own room, holding you in his arms while he lazed the day away.

you, on the other hand, were having none of it. and by none of it, i mean cuddling. it wasn't that you didn't want to cuddle with levi, in fact, you enjoyed a lot! but, the rain outside your window was far more important in your eyes.

there was nothing exactly specific about the rain that entrapped your attention, just that it had been so long since you'd been in it. so long since you've been outside even.

but you'd never ask to go outside, the answer was already plastered onto an invisible wall inside of your head. so instead, you'd just look whenever you would get the chance.

and it didn't go unnoticed, it was actually quite obvious. you didn't care however, it's not as if erwin or levi were going to change their mind, so why worry at all?

but seeing the way your eyes sparkle at the sight of the rain gather in puddles outside, levi felt himself being convinced.

he huffs annoyedly, he just wanted to spend the day in your arms until erwin was home. he wishes it didn't rain. but even so, he begrudgingly gets to his feet and trudges to you. you look at him with a smile, hand reaching up to point at something that only you could probably see.

"we're gonna go outside for a bit, sick of watching your desperate face," he puts his hands in his pockets while staring at your widened eyes.

you stare at him for a minute, slightly creeping him out, before you even really react. you swing your arms around his neck and thank him profusely, a wide smile spread from ear to ear whenever you pull away from him.

"you're not going out in your nightgown though," he points to the silk white nightgown that ends at your bruised knees.

you follow behind him happily whenever he walks into your closet, shuffling through the different clothes he's bought you.

"you're not wearing light colors, it's too muddy outside, and if you were to get stains on you, they'd ruined beyond repair," he mutters, grabbing a black button up with bishop sleeves.

he hands it to you, gently taking your hand to lead you out of the closet and towards your dresser than held your clothes. he settles on a forest green skirt that ends just a few inches above your ankles, and then he grabs a bra for you.

"strip," you don't complain, only heat up and oblige.

his back is turned whenever he flings a black bra at you, obviously avoiding the sight of your body to help you maintain your decency. even if he did bathe you sometimes.

you hurriedly slip the bra on and levi finally decides to look at you again. he helps you button up your shirt along with the cuffs, nagging at you quietly as a husband would do for their wife. he lets you step inside the skirt on your own, which has you coming to the realization that there are built in pants that separate the air from your panties.

levi scoffs at your untucked shirt, tucking it into your skirt with fondness dripping from him. he sits you onto the stool of your vanity, which no longer has a mirror, and sighs. he picked up a brush, running it carefully through your hair to avoid any tangles that would tug at your head.

when he feels you're decent enough, he holds a cold hand out for you to take into his own. you accept it with glee, skipping behind him when he guides you through his estate and to the back door that leads to his garden.

"i need you all to clean up that table in the center. put those big umbrellas under it and dry it off with towels. then leave towels by the umbrella so i can wipe it down if it gets wet again. make us a light lunch, nothing too big but definitely not small. (name) and i are going to walk around the garden together until you all are finished or until we're ready to eat," levi's so quick with his words that it has you reeling with confusion, but his workers seem just fine with his speed and are already starting to complete the task given to them.

he holds a smaller umbrella in one hand and your hand in the other, opening it above the two of you as you step outside the door. your shoes click against the stone walkway just as thunder booms in the sky. you flinch and chuckle, pulling your hand away from levi to link arms with him.

he guides you along the garden, only explaining certain things if you had questions. the silence mixed with the light pitter patter of the rain soothes him, heavy eyes fluttering sleepily.

he's immediately awake whenever you squeal excitedly.

there was a marble statue of the goddess, themis. her scales were elegantly balanced between her fingers while her blindfold hung loosely around her eyes, other hand on the hilt of her sword that pointed to the ground.

"that was a reward for erwin at his office. i make sure to clean it myself every once and a while," you look to him, admiration mixed with confusion displayed on your face as you contemplated the meanings behind not only the goddess, but her statue as well.

you decide to keep quiet, slightly tugging levi to come closer to the statue so you can examine it more closely.

your eyes are shining whenever levi looks at you, and he feels like you're the sunshine in the midst of this pouring rain.

he looks down at his shoes silently, brushing away his cheesy and sappy thoughts. he feels stupid. not once had he felt this way towards anyone besides tall blonde men with blue eyes, but now he was feeling this way towards a woman. to say he was confused was only scratching at the surface.

he knew he'd liked you when he met you. you were quick witted, outgoing, and kind-hearted, not to mention gorgeous. but it's not like he wasn't sexually attracted to women at the time, he definitely was. he had never just felt romantically for women, not once in the entirety of his pitiful life.

but you're so docile and levi likes that. he not only likes it, he cherishes it.

for now, he'll entertain the thought that he might be bisexual, pansexual, whatever title makes him feel comfortable. if he can fall for you, then there's a chance he can fall for other girls.

levi hasn't even realized he's zoned out until you whine at him. you're lightly tugging on his hand to venture further into the garden, and levi's heart swells. you had an opportunity to leave, whether you even knew it or not, yet you chose to stay and wait for him. you had even snapped him out of it.

he lets out a huff before he stares to guide you around the garden again. he can't wait to take a nap after this.

"are you ready to eat yet," he grumbles, tugging on your hand to get you to stop walking.

"is there anything else left to see?"

"nothing that will look good in this weather," he scoffs.

"then, yes, i'm ready," and with that, he's leading you to the table his workers had been ordered to set up.

when you two arrive, you realize that the table was sat under a white hexagonal kiosko that had vines and flowers wrapping around the support beams. the table was covered from the rain, confusion clacking your brain at why levi asked for a big umbrella.

he seems pleased at seeing the table though.

"how long did it take for petra to realize," levi asks whenever he helps you sit down.

"not very long," the man said, and you recognize him from that day in bath with erwin.

you stiffen at the eye contact, looking down at the table and the empty plates that sit upon them. you feel his stare linger on you and your body, specifically your curves that were hidden underneath the button up shirt levi put on you. this kid gave you the creeps.

"i'll be back with the food," he says and walks behind your chair, fingers brushing against the back of your neck.

you swallow down your disgust, looking to levi to start a conversation.

"levi, wh... what's that boy's name?"

eyebrow raised, he responds, "his name's archie. why do you ask?"

"no reason. i think i've seen him around the house before," you shrug and idly play with the silverware on the table.

levi doesn't believe you, but the day has been too good for him to ruin now. you both talk sparingly while waiting for archie to come back, mostly talking about the new tv show you got levi to start watching and what he thinks about it.

the two of you turn your heads when you hear the sound of footsteps. you see erwin with archie following behind him with a tray of three plates, erwin holding an umbrella over the two of them. a soft smile sets on levi's face when he sees him.

"what are you doing home," you smile whenever he steps under the roof of the kiosko closes the umbrella.

"i was thinking of you two all day. it got so bad that i called a client by your guys' names," he chuckles, leaning down to give you a kiss on your head.

he does the same to levi while you giggle at his sentence. he sits down in an unoccupied chair, hand laying itself on your thigh.

"you can't just keep taking off, erwin," despite the slightly bitter sentence, levi's face is content.

archie places the plates in front of erwin and levi in silence, then to you. his arm brushes your own, and you can't help but get that weird feeling in your tummy again.

"thank you," you say to him quietly, flipping the fork between your fingers.

he just hums in response and walk away from the three of you again, sly smirk on his face. you ignore him, starting to eat the grilled chicken salad with slight confusion.

it had been over three months since you'd even had a fork in your hands. the feeling felt foreign and it felt as if all memory of how to eat with a fork washed away. the realization made your stomach ache, a dreadful look in your eyes spreading across your body. you swallowed down the huge ball that brews in your throat, hands trembling.

erwin and levi stare with pride swelling in their chests while tears swell in your eyes.

since when had you become so dependent? were you not just taking care of pieck and her cat when she was sick months ago?

you take a deep breath, adjusting the fork to make it comfortable in your hand. you try your best to eat with loose muscles, but the stiffness in your bones have practically turned you into wood.

erwin turns to you, sickeningly sweet smile on his face, taking the fork out of your hand and gathering food for you. he feeds you, just as he has done before, fingers gently touching your jaw as if he guided your chewing.

a warmth fills the ball in your chest, and deep down inside it makes you sick. you chew slowly and listen to levi and erwin's conversation, which consists of erwin's workday and how you've refused to cuddle with levi this morning.

————

you lay on the living room couch with your head in erwin's lap and feet in levi's. a crime documentary plays on the television, something erwin seemed excited about. he looked too cute to deny.

erwin's fingers run through the locks of your hair lovingly, only ever pulling them out if they start to tangle. levi's watching the documentary with a bored look on his face, thumb rubbing random patterns into your ankle. you're not exactly paying attention to the documentary, only zoning in whenever erwin points something out or whenever levi lets out a scoff.

you start to sit up and stretch, the urge of going to the bathroom taking over you.

you feel embarrassed whenever you ask, "can i go to the bathroom?"

"yeah, just go to the one in your quarters," levi's answer is immediate. he really must not like the documentary.

you pad over to the bathroom, listening to the pitter pattering of your bare feet against the dark hardwood floor. you walk into the opened door of your quarter, yawning obnoxiously and throwing your arms into the air. maybe you should've cuddled with levi this morning.

you go to the bathroom quickly, the thundering of the sky making you nervous. it would've been different if levi or erwin were with you.

you start to walk back to the living room, eyes focused on the flickering light that illuminates the large hallway. a particular loud clash of lightning and clap of thunder has you jumping into the air, house barely rumbling.

your body crashes into a chest, which you immediately grab onto, instinctively. you start to apologize to the person, obviously thinking that it was erwin judging by the height and broadness of the chest.

but when you look up, you're looking at the emerald green eyes that belong to archie. your words get caught in your throat and you feel yourself pale.

"i-i'm sorry," you stutter, immediately backing away only to come to the realization that you're already a few feet from the door to go back into the living room.

if you crashed into him, that means he was walking towards you. but the only thing ahead of the two of you would be—

would be your room.

dread drenches you, head to toe, sweat forming on your forehead as the room starts to feel a little bit fuzzy.

"wh-why were you in my room," you struggle to even get the first syllable out.

"levi wanted me to check for something in there," he shrugs nonchalantly, but you're not convinced.

you smile shakily and nod, rushing to the living room to get away from him. you try to think positive even after all the staring and subtle touches.

but it still leaves a pit in your stomach.

[fluffypeachwriting]

hello!! may i ask for a nsfw ramuda content where he teaches us some sex lessons😳 after hearing us being inexperienced??

this is like 90% buildup but I hope you enjoy! Happy birthday Ramuda!  (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

DNi with this post if you’re under 18!

A happy sigh came from Ramuda, who was currently laying gently on top of you. He’d insisted on some much needed attention to spend the evening with, and he took the time to lay comfortably with you on the couch, though he couldn’t be more restless.

“Mm! I love cuddling with my sweetheart!” Ramuda nuzzled into your shoulder, “I wanna do this all day!” He started leaving small kisses from your shoulder up to your cheek, stopping to peck you on the lips before continuing his trail.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his hair tickling your neck, “Ramuda! I thought you wanted to cuddle!”

This was probably the opposite of cuddling. Ramuda kept on fidgeting, going between wanting to settle down to not knowing what to do with himself.

“Ramuda, are you alright?”

He didn’t respons, instead, he murmured something inaudible against your skin. The heat of his breath make you freeze for a second.

“Huh?” You nudged him a little, “Ramu?”

There was a moment of silence as he thought to himself, then he propped himself up to address you directly, “Hey, can I ask something? I wanna go further with you. Like, sexually.”

“I…”

Ramuda, unusually flustered, backtracked his words, “I mean! Ehe, if you don’t wanna, I won’t force my sweetheart to do things… but I wanna. And I have wanted to for a while.” He worried his lip as he waited for a response.

Since he was so upfront an honest, you decided to come out with your own confession: “Ramuda… I’m not exactly experienced in that area.” You tried to cover your face to hide your embarrassment, but Ramuda gently took your hands in his and kissed them.

“Ehe! That’s okay~” There was no worry or shame or anything of the sort on his face. He simply looked at you with the same pure adoration that he always did when he was in a lovey mood, a soft smile and kind eyes reassuring you even more than his words. “If you wanna…” In a heartbeat, that face was replaced by a more cheeky expression, “I can show you a thing or two, yeah?”

“O-oh,” It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought about being intimate with Ramuda before, but actually hearing him suggest it was a whole other beast, and his suggestive tone lit a spark inside you. The untamed confidence Ramuda exhibited on a daily basis was sure to come out in the bedroom as well; the thought already began to arouse you. And Ramuda noticed it – nothing got past him.

“Eh?” He squealed out, leaning in for a short kiss before switching to his natural tone, “I love it when you get excited. Guess I’ll have to take the lead, hm?”

You nodded without a second thought.

“Hm… I have the perfect thing.” Ramuda leapt off you and scuttled off to the bedroom, smiling to himself, “You just wait there for a sec, okay?”

“O-okay…?”

With Ramuda it was always hard to tell what he had up his sleeve.

So, like he asked you to, you sat around waiting for Ramuda’s next move. After some rustling and giggling from behind the door, Ramuda beckoned for you to come inside.

You psyched yourself up to turn the handle and step inside, ready for whatever was about to happen. There were a million things you could have expected, but none of them were this. It was a fairly simple scene, Ramuda perched on the edge of the bed with his legs crossed and one hand tapping his chin. He had changed out of his pjs to a white shirt with black dress pants and a matching blazer.

“Why… are you wearing that?” You gestured to Ramuda’s new getup.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m your teacher for this evening.” He accentuated his point by smoothing down the edges of his suit, “Though I hope I don’t have to wear this for much longer. So, are you ready?” Ramuda stuck with his natural voice, “I’ll start when you are.”

“For what?” You closed the door behind you and gulped.

“Lessons, of course.”

“L-lessons?! Wha…”

Ramuda chuckled, his charming, deep, voice affecting you more than you’d admit. “You’re safe with me, there’s nothing to hurt you…” He stood up, holding your hips and bringing your bodies together. You habitually wrapped your arms around Ramuda, and he took the chance, whispering close to your ears, “…unless, it turns out that you like mixing pain and pleasure.” The thought made you shiver, and Ramuda revelled in your instant reaction, “You like the sound of that? I’ll save it for later. That’s a lesson for another day. For now…”

Ramuda broke contact, ruffling your hair as you reached for him to come back, then sat back down on the bed. He settled down before eagerly patting his lap. “Sit here.”

“Um, Ramuda… you’re kinda sm-”

“Small? You won’t hurt me at all, sweetheart~” He opened his arms, welcoming you into his embrace, “I just want to teach you the basics, that’s all.”

Your curiosity was piqued even though you could guess what these ‘basics’ would be. With your previous hesitation gone, sitting on Ramuda’s lap came almost naturally, wrapping your arms around his neck as he rested his hands on your waist.

“Good.”

Now that you were inches apart from Ramuda, there was really no hiding how much you were anticipating what was to come next.

“First, kiss me.”

Ramuda let you initiate a kiss, starting out slow and sweet. You could feel him smile against your lips and bring your body just a little bit closer to his. His front was now pressed against yours – this certainly wasn’t the first time you two had been this close but now it had so much more weight to it. He waited for you to part your lips before daring to use his tongue. It seemed that neither of you could wait for the ‘lesson’ to continue, as in a matter of moments the two of you were moving in a perfect rhythm. Neither of you cared that the kisses were sloppier than usual, you just needed each other.

“Second,” Ramuda’s face was pink, “Is seeing what you’ve done to me.”

You didn’t need to ‘see’ anything, you could feel him getting hard under you, and the urge to grind down on him was almost unbearable.

“Can I…?”

“Do what you want to, honey.” You couldn’t mistake the need in his quivering voice.

Despite your inexperience, you confidently pressed your clothed arousal against Ramuda’s own, squeezing a delicious whine out of him. His hands gripped your hips as he tried to hold himself back from taking you right there and then – you were doing something right. Knowing that someone with previous experience was getting hot under the collar because of you was an unmatched feeling. Ramuda had never let loose like this before. He had almost forgotten about the ‘lessons’, until:

“Th – oh god – third, please ride me. Go at your pace – for as long as you want to – please.” Ramuda raced to shrug off his shirt and jacket, fumbling with his belt.

“Teach me how to do it?”

“Of course.”

[lynenspray]

joygi 04

prompt: seulgi should know better than to come unprepared, especially when it involves her girlfriend's reputation at work.

---

hold me up (tie me down)

(joygi gp!seulgi frottage overstimulation car sex)

seulgi’s reflection followed as she tilted her head, brow furrowing at how the white collar of her dress shirt didn’t quite shape itself around her neck the way she wanted it to. 

with a sigh, she tugged at the front of her top and tucked it into her slacks haphazardly. the collar gave until the first closed button was right in the middle of her chest, but the action left unsightly creases around her shoulders. goddammit.

she shook her head in mild annoyance. should’ve gotten a new dress shirt for this occasion. she didn’t want to disappoint joy, after all--the younger woman was the one who had bought the sleek black suit seulgi was to wear for the night, demanding that the older woman don it in order for them to match. 

so she did. and now here she was, looking like a child playing grown-up, glaring at the troublesome cotton that was currently the bane of her existence. 

you really ought to stop dressing like a teenager, joy had told her once, bemused at the photographer’s choice of wearing a bucket hat on one of their dinners out. didn’t you say you came from work? the creative field really is something else...

seulgi mistook it as a joke, because joy and her had similarly bold fashion tastes in somewhat opposite directions. her own style was more baggy and fit for walking the streets, while the younger woman was fond of suits and blazers even on her casual days. seulgi was pretty sure joy would be the type to wear an oversized, tailored coat just to walk her dog around the block.

but apparently the comment was not to be taken as a good-humoured quip, and now seulgi was going to seem like an absolute fool at one of the most important fundraisers her girlfriend coordinated herself for the company that she was a division head for. fuck.

“maybe if i just…” she started, trying not to deflate when she discovered that buttoning her shirt up all the way just made her look worse. if that was even possible. 

ding!

seulgi blinked and picked up her phone, biting her lip when she saw her girlfriend’s message, impatience in its tone. probably from the traffic and the fact that seulgi got caught up with the photoshoot she had today, only having enough time for a shower and light make-up before joy fetched her. they were cutting it a bit too close to being exactly on time for the party instead of fifteen minutes early.

jwoyie ♡

i'll be there in ten. be at the driveway when i arrive

[7:21pm]

one of the elevators in her building had been under maintenance since yesterday, leaving only the other available. the wait and ride down would take anywhere between five to twenty minutes, and joy abhorred it when she was late. shit.

her head whipped around as she stared at her reflection once more; the state of her hair and overall demeanour appeared as frazzled as she felt. was there anything else she could do? 

deciding that no she didn’t own any other dress shirts that had any chance of being appropriate for the formal occasion and no she couldn’t possibly back out now and upset joy while she was at it, seulgi heaved a long suffering breath and wore the jacket to complete her outfit. 

she took one last look at her closet and rummaged through the drawers, figuring that she may as well bring a tie if there was any chance joy could salvage her attire. 

"seriously…"

the only ties she had were long printed scarf-like silks in different colours. great. 

she tucked one into her suit jacket anyway and hoped for the best, quickly making her way down to the lobby of her apartment building lest she be late. 

joy's mercedes-benz pulled up on the dot, and seulgi was both unsurprised and terrified to see her girlfriend's blank expression as soon as she slipped into the passenger seat in all her disheveled glory. 

all seulgi could do was sit there in quiet shame as she fiddled with the cloth in her hands.

"you’re gorgeous," seulgi whispered as she settled in. joy was going to turn every head at the fundraiser with the side ruffle black dress she wore; simple but eye-catching. oh god. seulgi was going to embarrass her girlfriend at the very event she worked so hard for. 

"thank you." joy’s reply was simple and quick, smooth as her steering them out of the driveway and onto the main road. the younger woman's hand trailed down seulgi's arm, twining their fingers together as their matching couple rings met. no praises were given about seulgi's own outfit. rightfully so, because she looked pitiful in comparison. 

seulgi sank further into her seat. 

joy didn’t look at seulgi when she spoke next. "are you upset? was it with your photoshoot today?" 

"no," seulgi answered, tightening her grip on joy's hand as she gazed out her window. "i just… know that i don't look good. i'm sorry i didn't just buy an actual dress shirt, or text you asking if i could borrow one."

joy let a few minutes pass by without a single word, the evening traffic’s lights bouncing off her face and making her glow. the few minutes had first turned into several, before several more, and soon enough time had stretched on until almost an hour of silence had passed and the events place underground parking lot was all seulgi could spy outside.

when the taller woman finally spoke, it was an inquiry rather than a response. "what are you doing with that tie?" joy’s tone lacked any accusation, but the steely gaze she flicked towards seulgi as she turned the engine off spoke volumes.

"i…" seulgi swallowed. "thought… maybe i could wear it tonight," she reasoned, every word that slipped out of her mouth softer than the last. though the car was warm, the temperature didn't call for the cold sweat that she felt trickle down the back of her neck. that was caused by something else. 

seulgi held her breath as she watched joy's fingers clench around the steering wheel, her stomach dropping at the sound of leather being stretched. 

"haven't we been over this before?" 

"the…" party? seulgi couldn't recall any such thing. 

joy's hand was almost as quick as her hiss. "this," she indicated, holding seulgi's hand and the tie up between them. "making decisions without me. it's my event."

and you're my girl went unsaid, but seulgi could hear the implication of it with joy's piercing stare. 

seulgi dipped her gaze impulsively, trying to appease the younger woman. she knew far better than to push joy, especially when she was in business-mode and concerned about her reputation at work. “i know… i’m sorry.” 

"you want to use this?"

she crumpled into herself, not knowing the answer joy wanted to hear.

the older woman let out a squeak of surprise when joy's other hand moved to grab her chin, forcing her to lock their gazes. "backseat," joy commanded. 

seulgi blinked, bewildered for only a moment before gathering her wits and scrambling to do joy's bidding. she squeezed herself between the front seats, waddled her way over the console, and caught her breath as she settled into a sitting position.

joy only looked at her with an expression of amusement, lips tilted mockingly. the older girl watched wide-eyed as her lover reached out to open the glove compartment and pulled out what looked like sleek black cloth. 

before seulgi could make sense of what was going on, the taller swiftly exited and reentered the vehicle through the back with a smirk, pushing her against the opposite door as soon as she got in.

seulgi gulped when joy languidly approached, maneuvering the former's legs until she could fit snugly between them. the position was awkward, but seulgi wasn’t thinking about that right now. the rough manipulation of her limbs had her trembling, and if she looked down now, she was sure the tent in her pants would be more than obvious. 

joy’s smirk only widened as she brushed fingers against seulgi’s trousers, right where her slowly hardening dick was. “sit tight, big girl,” she whispered. seulgi gulped as joy leaned forward, lips right by her ear and causing goosebumps to spring forth on her skin. “using this was your idea, after all. i wouldn’t want to disappoint you now.”

the older woman did nothing but watch and let her lover leave kisses on her wrists before wrapping the tie around them, tugging them up, up, above seulgi until they were level with the car handle over her head. 

a gasp escaped her lips when joy tethered her arms to the handle, leaving no room for her to resist or move from her place. 

she wanted to ask her lover what was going on, but just as she was about to, the black fabric was folded into a ball and stuffed in her mouth. 

the only thing she could muster was a confused grunt, her tongue pinned as joy placed another cloth between her teeth and tied the ends behind her head, pulling at the edges of her lips and preventing her from closing them. 

seulgi tugged on her bonds questioningly, letting the squeak of satin against leather ask everything she couldn’t manage to voice out. 

“you want to look good for me, right?”

she nodded, hips unconsciously bucking against the hand that ground down against it.

“i know just the thing to help, then.” 

joy’s smirk turned vicious, from what seulgi could see in the dim light. she felt more than saw her lover’s hands trail their way up her shirt, swiftly unbuttoning the white cotton. then those long fingers brushed against her ribs, coming between her breasts to unclasp her bra, letting her tan skin meet the still air of the car they were in. 

seulgi suppressed a weak whimper as joy's breath ghosted over her body, lips poised to kiss along her collarbone and doing so slowly, reverently. 

joy's kisses would normally range from deep and sensual to light and playful, but seulgi noticed her pecks now had intention behind them; firm and final, no sign of her tongue peeking out as she grazed against the older woman's peaks. 

"hnmf," seulgi groaned through the cloth as the ends of joy's hair tickled her waist, bucking her hips up to show her want, her need. if joy wanted to have her, she was all hers for the taking; would always be. she just needed to touch her. 

instead of following through with her lover's obvious request, however, joy ignored her restless hips in favour of grabbing her lipstick from her bag and reapplying some as she stared down at her unnie with a smirk. 

joy's hand found its way to seulgi's thigh, pressing her fingers harshly against the muscle and smirking wider at seulgi's whine in reaction. 

"you know when you look best, baby?" she questioned, rubbing along the underside of seulgi's leg and pushing it up to have seulgi blossom open for her, slacks pulling tight against her crotch, hugging her bulge. "when you're mine."

seulgi's head rolled back as joy started leaving firm kisses all over her torso once more, steady and insistent. she was so distracted by the sensation that she hadn't noticed when joy started writing on her chest; only blinked back to reality once the lipstick was recapped and joy sat back to gaze at her with a pleased expression. 

"if only you could see yourself," joy said, chin tilted upwards as she directed a lazy smile at seulgi. her grin was quickly replaced by a sneer. "but the view isn't for you anyway, is it?" 

seulgi shook her head with a squeak, knowing that was what joy wanted. she closed her eyes when joy still paid her swollen cock no mind, frustration building. 

"look at me."

please. seulgi planted her ankles on top of the car seats so she could inch herself closer and grind on joy's knee. please just touch me. 

a muffled yelp escaped her as joy abruptly pressed her thighs back against her own chest, holding her so firmly she could feel the shape of the car door digging into her spine. 

seulgi's eyes shot open. something in joy’s expression told her it was best if she stopped struggling; that if she knew what was good for her, she would sit still, listen carefully, and–

"look at me."

look at her. 

the older woman would bite her lip if she could. she spied the shadow of muscles moving as joy let out a breath and clenched her jaw. the sight had seulgi trembling; she couldn't tell what was about to happen.

she'd been disobedient before, pushed joy to the limit, tested her patience repeatedly to the point that she'd had no choice but to teach seulgi a lesson about her manners. 

but it had never happened in the cramped space of a car, right as they had to show up at an event. 

would joy drag her out of the vehicle, disheveled and so obviously wrecked, and leash her to her person as they got to the party? would she then push her into a cubicle in the restroom, make her cum all over herself, and watch as seulgi would try to hide the evidence? would they leave early, with joy stripping her naked and tied in the backseat as she drove the long way home? 

seulgi let out a shaky breath at the thought, gaze locked on joy and her barely withheld annoyance. she could do those things. joy would do all of those things if she felt like treating seulgi that way tonight. 

"good girl," joy practically purred. her hands were back on seulgi's legs, rubbing the material of her own slacks against her. "see? it's not that hard to do what i say."

the older woman let out a whimper as joy loomed over her. 

"isn't that right?" 

seulgi nodded before joy could even finish, breathing heavily as she felt her dick leak, aroused at the sight. she groaned when joy's hands travelled to cup her groin, massaging her bulge and causing her to jerk up in response. 

she tugged on her bindings and lifted her hips, rolling against joy's palms as the younger woman curiously left seulgi clothed. no movements towards unbuckling her pants were made. what…? 

joy answered her unspoken question. "you're keeping them on." she cupped the head of seulgi's dick through the fabric and rubbed against the junction between the crown and the rest of her shaft. 

seulgi moaned at the harsh touch, titillated beyond comprehension. joy's always did this to her, sent her reeling, desperate and yearning for more of what she would be given. 

and it was obvious that it turned joy on too. the younger growled as she buried her face into seulgi's neck, ignoring the sweat and licking her skin. "bought them for you, y'know." she nipped and sucked almost feverishly, marking seulgi with love bites. "wanna see you in them. cum in them."

the older woman squirmed, the thought of being jerked off while clothed sending tingles down her spine. on her new clothes, too. 

"mmffh," seulgi groaned, eyes rolling back as joy continued fondling her, mercilessly pressing on her most sensitive buttons. 

fuck fuck fuck– it was a sick sort of satisfaction to finally receive all the touch she had been craving for, tenfold. the line between pleasure and pain was one seulgi was familiar with as joy's shadow formed over and on her. 

her lover knew all the spots to get her aching; she ground a thumb against seulgi's crown and cupped around the outline of her swollen cock with one hand, while the other massaged her tightening balls.

an eye pinched closed as seulgi gasped, feeling the telltale sign of her reaching the edge. her gut clenched, hips stirring as she felt her muscles constrict in the moments leading up to ecstasy. 

oh god oh god ohgod–i'm going to–

seulgi whimpered through the cloth between her teeth, tugged on the ties around her wrists, and unceremoniously creamed in her slacks and underwear. 

"just like that, baby. had a lot pent up in you, hm?" 

she grunted as joy cooed, caressing her through her orgasm. each spurt slowly emptied her gut but also filled her panties up, making for a sweaty, almost oppressive feeling right where her crotch was. 

the older woman shivered as she gushed the last drops of her cum, the sticky, full feeling in her underwear making her blush crimson. it was really hot–both temperature-wise and just the act of her cumming in her pants. she felt so dirty. 

seulgi let out a squeak when joy's hands continued, spreading the accumulated seed in her pants all over her slowly softening cock, cruel smirk in place. 

"give me some more," joy purred, pressing harder when the older woman jerked back. "be a good girl."

seulgi whimpered when she could no longer move further, backside practically molding into the door's interior.

what was touch that expertly balanced itself on the tightrope between pleasure and pain terrifyingly morphed into torture; joy's hands were unyielding, fluttering over seulgi's flaccid shaft and grating the material of her clothes onto her sensitive skin. 

"more?" 

seulgi shook her head frantically, legs trembling but curiously remaining wide open at the mercy of her lover. 

"i see," joy hummed, ministrations abating. seulgi let out a sound between disappointment and relief. 

joy was a good lover and an even better listener; it was just that sometimes seulgi wasn't sure of her own wants and desires. she knew it hurt, a little bit, to be fervently stimulated seconds after cumming, but–she still wanted it somehow. 

seulgi whined through the cloth, gyrating her hips once again. she wanted–she didn't know. hopefully joy could figure it out for her. 

"shhh, i know, sweetheart." 

joy continued to coo as she quickly unbuckled seulgi's pants and pulled her soiled underwear down. seulgi saw her bite her lip before readjusting herself, comfortably fitting in the rest of the backseat that seulgi wasn't occupying. 

then she curled forward, mouth hovering seulgi's cock. "gonna clean you up 'til you're good as new, baby." 

the first lick sent seulgi reeling, knocking the back of her head against the window behind her. her lower body was past the point of quivering, now shaking to the core as joy lapped her up dutifully, slurping down her seed. 

the texture of her tongue didn't change, but somehow the press of it felt rough, chafing against her oversensitive skin. there was no more room for seulgi to shy away from joy's mouth. the long minutes it took for her to be clean from all her spunk allowed her dick to stir back to life in joy's loving hands, aching once again, as if the pleasure she’d received until that point was negligible. 

when joy started pumping her again, slowly, all seulgi could do was take what she was being given. her sense of self melted away under joy's expertise, forgetting all about the overstimulation, her ruined clothes, and even the fundraiser. instead, the world was made of only her and joy; her lover's mouth, her warmth, the sound of their breathing. 

it felt like time both moved at a glacial and erratic pace for seulgi, as joy gently unbound her arms and released the hold of the cloth on her jaw. instead of retreating from the overbearing touch, however, seulgi let her limbs melt around joy's body and lazily pulled her closer.

now that seulgi's mouth and arms were free, she sang praises into joy's ear and slithered her own hand up the woman's dress. 

"so wet," seulgi managed to hum, rubbing circles onto the taller woman's swollen nub, mixing both of their groans and gasps. 

she dipped her fingers in her lover, causing a long moan to be yanked out of joy that seulgi answered with a deep, sensual kiss. 

"joy," seulgi sobbed, rutting against the pace the taller woman set as she pumped her slick cock, twisting each time she reached her mushroomed head. her member was aching, craving for joy's familiar velvet heat. "joy."

"c-come closer, baby. i can help," joy gasped as seulgi's fingers slipped out of her, stripping off her own panties and pulling her skirt up. she widened her legs so seulgi's narrow hips could slot between them, and when she aligned the woman's shaft at her entrance, steadily inching down to swallow seulgi's dick–

"oh christ, seul, seul you're so fucking good to me–"

"–joy, haah, joy pleaseplease–" 

the older woman cried out with a throaty scream the moment joy's ass met her pelvis, her girlfriend's pussy made just for her. she jerked up into the taller woman, setting an unforgiving and brutal tempo that her lover took in stride, understanding her desperation. she asked for this, after all. 

seulgi felt the churning in her gut make its presence known once more, liquid heat pooling in her balls. "i'm–hgck, ffffuck, joy!" 

her lover only ground her hips down harder, stoking the fire that was burning in the smaller woman. "g-give it to me, seul, give m-me everything," joy hissed out, bouncing atop her as she trembled and showed signs of reaching her own peak.

only the sound of flesh slapping against flesh cut through their rhythmic cries. it took three more harsh thrusts until seulgi came again–an even bigger load this time, painting the walls of joy's fluttering, clenching pussy with her hot seed. 

the lovers rode their highs for several long seconds together, mixing their body heat fluids as they came back down to reality. 

seulgi blinked out of her post coital stupor only to get lost in thought again, because holy fuck. that was amazing–and so much better than how seulgi thought her dedicated stress relief session would go. 

when she said she wanted to be dominated both mentally and physically by her lover, seulgi thought joy would resort to power play involving names and other verbally demeaning acts triggered by her fake wardrobe malfunction in the event of the made-up important fundraiser. she was not expecting all of this.

usually, their sessions would go with both taking charge–unless it was explicitly stated beforehand that one would dominate. this time, seulgi requested for joy to be in control. she wanted the chance to loosen her figuratively coiled body and mindset that were caused by the high-stress, fast-paced work environment she was constantly exposed to. 

… and if this was how it was going to go, leaving her a sloppy mess at the mercy of her partner looming above her–well. she should really ask for joy to dom more often. maybe even beg outside the bedroom. 

seulgi's mind was so clouded by bliss, she could barely tell when joy finished cleaning them both up. she only realised so when she heard the zipper of her slacks close. 

"you feeling better?" joy asked, expression of cruelty replaced by one of fondness as she caressed seulgi's sweaty hair from her face. 

"mhm." seulgi's voice was raw with adoration. the form and presence of her lover were large and reassuring; seulgi felt like she was so small in comparison. "take me home?"

"whatever my girl wants."

the trip back to their apartment passed by in a blur. seulgi tucked her hands in her lap and directed her gaze from the road to the roadside to what she could make out as joy's silhouette from her backseat view.

only when they arrived at their own car park did seulgi realise that they were previously at friend's apartment complex, making use of her dedicated tenant parking slot. 

trust in joy to plan so thoroughly. public sex wasn't exactly a crime either of them wanted to go to jail for, after all. she probably bribed irene for it. 

joy carefully guided seulgi every step of the way as they returned home, pulling her out of the car and holding her in her arms during the lift ride. 

seulgi sighed as joy closed the bathroom door behind her, dazedly watching her lover strip her in the mirror. she smiled when she saw what joy wrote on her chest. 

"easy, now." joy's voice cut through seulgi's floating thoughts. the older woman blinked as her lover sat her down in the warm bath, eventually sighing as the chill of the night air was chased away. "i've got you," joy assured her, her own naked form slipping in between seulgi's back and the end of the tub. 

the older woman could only lean back against joy and hum, quietly observing and feeling the way the other woman's hands ran over her flesh. 

she watched the lipstick wash away from her chest. the word 'mine' that had been written melted away, replaced by joy's strong fingers massaging her muscles and joy's plump lips pressing against the junction between her neck and shoulder, whispering sweet nothings. yours. 

[qhostqizmo]

Made To Fall In Love With You

Every creak of the floorboards reminded Essätha of a series of Eldritch Blasts going off as she tried sneaking her way down the hallway. The sorceress was no professional burglar; and despite picking her steps with care to where her weight would not awaken the shifted building’s quirks, each footfall was too loud in her ears. Every few steps her eyes trailed behind her, catching no sight nor sound of any waking murmuring or hobbled shuffling. So far, so good.

To her great surprise, no one manned the front desk as the sun peaked upon the horizon. The smell of bacon grease drifted from another room. It was distant; the Yuan-Ti woman assumed the keeper of the inn may be about while their help worked on preparing a meal for travelers willing to pay. Naturally her tummy grumbled and gurgled in a fit to the delicious aromas. Her cheeks warmed with embarrassment while hurrying the last few steps to the threshold.

By some grace of the Gods, the hinges of the door did not creak and it barely stuck as she pulled it open. The first rays of sunshine blasted her in the eye; a blinding array of dazzling white. Essie squinted for a moment, blinking as her sight adjusted to soak in her surroundings. The large front porch greeted its way to a gravel walkway, and down to the road littered with potholes out of town.

Her heart stammered in her chest uneasily. Licking her lips, she gazed over her shoulder once more.

Nothing.

An ill feeling of trepidation sank in her stomach, yet still she persisted on. The door sealed shut behind her with a click. It was a sign: there was no turning back now.

She took the steps off the porch in a hurry; twitchy that perhaps her sloth-like speed within the dwelling would have ripped precious seconds away from her escape. Rock and dirt crunched beneath her boots as she hurried for the street. The heaviness of her bag began to slap against her back; supplies giving a sturdy thump and rattle with each step. It fell in tune quickly with her rapid pulse. What was she doing?

What was best, she reminded the fearful voice in her head. It quieted, but did not release its grip on her conscious.

From the stoop, a figure raised its head as she paused, panting from street-level. The shape defined itself as a mastiff tilted its head; a solid swish of its tail thumping against the porch. The beast began to stand, shaking its mane of black and chocolate brown.

“Ssstay!”

Her hissed warning surprised the hound, which jerked its posture backwards and away a step down the stoop. It began to whine; deep and throaty and remorseful.

Essie licked her lips again. “Please,” she begged, insisting.

Again, the great canine whimpered, pacing the deck with uncertainty. Should it follow, or should it obey?

From within the structure, there was a rustle, and someone called out. The mastiff pricked his ears to swivel its gaze towards the door.

There wasn’t going to be a better distraction.

I’m sorry, Caesar.

Feeling a tear forming in her heart, Essätha let her feet fly. She knew how to push it; run past the point of lungs burning and the wobble in legs threatening a collapse. She’d been doing it all her life, after all. This was no different.

But it felt different.

Her throat jumped; swallowing around a great and heavy formation in her throat. All she could hear was her heavy breathing, her pulse pounding frantically in her chest, the pebbles and debris kicked up with each launch of her feet from the ground. It was a sprint against the sun; chasing shadows and disappearing between the sparse houses and closing in on wooded forest. The world was an endless blur of smells and colors around her; hues and spectrums of clean laundry hanging, flowers in bloom, tarry-pine trees freshly cut, the streaks of muted house-colors of greens and browns. A startled bird took flight before her into the sky, cawing. She didn’t look twice, but her dread thought that it may have been a raven.

She wasn’t going to survive long alone. Not like this. Not with two adversaries on her tail; one a personal vendetta, the other a vast network of cult members.

But it wasn’t her chances she was worried about.

Someone yelled at her in a startled voice from a smithery as she ran by, but her spare time had already been bought and sold. She beelined for the treeline that was rapidly approaching. At least her knowledge of untamed wilds would give her a clean escape. If she hit water, she’d even be able to throw off the dog perhaps if they decided to pursue her.

The timbers and undergrowth swiftly became a dense jungle too thick to traverse full-hurtle. Forced to pick her way around thorny bushes and clamor over fallen trees, progress began to waver. The sun rose slowly higher in the sky, little by little. Sweat covered her back from the fabric of the backpack, and her stomach growled and complained from lack of breakfast.

It couldn’t have been even an hour when her knees hit the ground, exhausted. She blinked, shivering from fatigue. A series of wet droplets hit the ground, and continued to fall from her face.

Lowering her head, Essie swallowed. Her forehead touched the dry earth; inhaling dust. An irritable bug bit at her arm. She could hear past her own heavy gasping, the sound of distant birds singing Pelor morning praise for raising the light into the sky once more.

A heaviness overtook her queasiness, and another whimper drew past her lips. She crumbled to the ground even more, falling to her side among the leaflitter, the weeds, the grass, the moss. Just the spot she belonged, among the mud and filth.

It seemed only a moment; and perhaps it was, that she closed her eyes. Breathe. Just breathe. However when she opened them again, the thicket was crashing and shaking; something large charging through and headed straight in her direction.

The sorceress reached for the hilt of one of her daggers, but didn’t grasp it yet when the barreling of fur and claws hurtled through the bushes.

“Caesar!” She exclaimed, dropping her hand as the beast scrambled just enough to stop before her. “I told you to stay-”

The mastiff whined, his butt wiggling with overzealous glee. He’d found her, and he was more than happy to lap his big, wet, sloppery tongue on her face.

“You might have told him to stay, but I told him hiruvalyë.”

A tremor raced down the Yuan-Ti’s spine. Her exhale rattled out of her like a last breath; uneasy and fearful. Goosebumps trailed and dotted down her arms with knowing as she lifted her head higher, spotting the void expression staring back at her. The man wearing the expression was dressed in a heavy garment cloak with a bear-fur mantle. She knew the texture of better than she recalled the memory of her own skin, or the feel of the kinks in her wavy hair.

“… What’s that mean?” she rasped. Her voice cracked, throat dry.

“It is Elvish; translated literally to ‘thou shalt find’.”

Essie dug her fingers into the dirt; lodging grime to the bed of her fingernails. She looked away from the nobleman’s sharp features and blankly staring eyes. Despite the fact he could no longer see her face, she self-consciously wiped at the tear tracks on her face now dusty dried-lined. Though she wanted to beg for forgiveness; to kiss the ground he walked on, she bit down upon her wobbly lower lip as he made his way to stand before her.

He took a knee, ushering the frantic and whining mastiff circling her back. Reluctantly but obediently, the massive dog sat where indicated and waited patiently.

Time slowed to a crawl. The pacing was worse than that of her break-out of the inn. Each breath came and went, with nothing happening. The quiet lingered. The guilt rose in her; mighty as the crashing of a thousand bison thundering hooves on the plains. The guilt burned into plumes of shame. The shame to self-loathing, like so many daggers stitched into invisible wounds on her skin.

When she did not move or speak after the seconds turned to minutes, finally the figure sighed ever so quietly. Essie did not flinch or shy away from the hand that reached for her face. She wished it would strike her, or push her, rather than cradle her chin as carefully as it did; guiding her to look skyward. She wished the thoughtfulness of this touch would hate her as much as she hated herself.

Instead; her eyes golden as the sunlight, stared up to find the red-rimmed void of blue and black staring hauntingly back at her.

If she thought she hated herself before, she wanted to succumb to Asmondeus’ themselves worst trails in the Nine Hells now. She deserved it. She deserved fates worse than death, for being the cause of such agony and hurt in such gentle eyes.

“… You promised you would never leave me.”

The words fell out of her faster than she could catch them: “M’lord Amon, it is safer this way, for all of us.”

More than anything, Essie wanted him to be angry. She wanted him to be furious; she wanted him to spit on her and tell her he despised her. That he had been burned and left too many times to accept this betrayal. That she was worthless. That she was a mistake.

Amon blinked; a fresh spring of tears in his eyes, and he looked at her with all the things she did not deserve. None of it she was warranted. He looked at her with reverence beyond any known language, and a gut-sense knowing wiser than the lifespan mankind could survive.

“I know you that you’re scared,” he whispered hoarsely and with understanding. “I see it in your eyes, I feel it in your body laid next to mine, I can tell by the way you breathe that you are terrified. But you never have to run from me, Essie,” Amon murmured. The rough pad of his thumb swiped away a stray tear that had fallen from her eye.

“I was so scared when I woke up, and you weren’t there-”

Her throat tightened, words barely audible as she wheezed, “Then I am a failure and a liar, and you should never have followed me.”

“I’m not upset with you.” She knew this, even as he spoke the words; reaching to hold her face in both hands now. “I’m not upset with you; I swear. I forgive you. I… I know what it’s like to push others away; to run from everything, to turn from hands that want to help you. I’m so relieved to see that you are safe. There was no note, no sign I… I didn’t want to believe or consider what could have happened… ” He swallowed; adam’s apple jumping.

“Neither of us is going to be if they find us here,” she reminded him, panic rising in her voice. Her gaze shift as though to search for the ghost of her past behind him, but his hands held her steady and true. It was out of habit to seek his eyes. She could not stay away long from them; they anchored her, completed her, soothed her like the lull of the ocean deep and true. Quietly mesmerized; fully enamored by the reflections of color off those shadowy eyes.

“I would die a thousand deaths, before I lived a day without you.”

The quivering in her lip returned, only time time it took over all of her body.

“I don’t want that, m’lord. I didn’t want to- to hurt you or to see you hurt or-”

With a conviction that he displayed only in private; only in brief moments, he moved closer to her and dropped to both of his knees. Amon’s face was alive now; emotions moving in his eyes, his browline knit, his mouth open wide and gasping for air as though he was avoiding hyperventilating. He shifted closer still; the smell of leather and firs, his eyes swallowing her into deep pools.

Essätha breathed him in, shaking, as his forehead pressed to her own.

The nobleman licked his lips. “If you have to go, know that I will go with you,” he swore, reaching for her hand. He brushed a kiss to the back of her knuckles, and heat inflamed her face.

“Amon-”

He ignored the desperation in her plea, continuing: “You can choose to flee but you can’t choose who follows you. You never left me alone in my worst moments; not when you found out my dark truths, not during trial, not when others warned you that I was nothing but smooth-talker, and I am not leaving you. We are in this together. I don’t care what dangers I have to face, as long as I am with you. If I am only allowed a second for a final breath, I would just die happy because I shared it with you.”

“You are worth the fight. You are worth whatever sacrifices I have to make, to make sure that you’re protected. Just as you have taught me, you do not have to face your demons by yourself, Essie. I’ve got you. I always have your back, no matter what happens. You don’t need to run away from me. Nothing is going to keep me away from you. We can get through anything as long as it’s you and I, remember? You told me that we could make it through anything together.”

The pressure of his hand interlocked with hers was a lifeline. There were no words to describe it; the coarseness of his palms; weathered, firm, rough. They should be almost frightening to someone like her; soft, delicate, weak. Where his struggles had lead him to his sharp edges, her own had lead her to careful hands and swift feet. There were opposite products of tragedies and misfortune.

“But I need you to live,” she wept, tears freshly falling to drip from her chin.

“Then let me live with you,” her nobleman urged, tenderly wiping tears from her face. “You helped me to meet a better version of myself I didn’t know existed. I’m stronger; kinder, more patient and merciful because of everything you’ve taught me, Ess’. I’m all of those things and more, when I’m standing by your side. You’ve taught me compassion and freedom and strength on a whole scale I never imagined. I never want to stop learning and growing with you; I never want to stop looking into those beautiful bright eyes and that warm smile, not for even a second. I can’t imagine an existence; cold and dark, after witnessing so much light that comes into the world when you’re in it.”

“I need you,” he crooned. “I need you more than air, or food, or water, or shelter. I need you; your persistence, your joy, your fearlessness, your heart, your drive and graciousness. You are everything to me. You mean everything to me. You and I Essätha; we can take on the world. We can do it, together. I look out for you, and you look out for me. You have nothing to fear; until the last fight is over we can stand side by side. I am not leaving you alone. Not… Not like this. Not until… Not until I’m sure you do not want me, that you…”

Heartbeat hammering in her chest, Essätha shushed him gently, wiping her filthy hands against her shirt. When she was certain they were clean, she reached to take hold of his face. He melted into her touch with such open want that she audibly exhaled unsteadily with shock.

“I am never going to forgive myself, if something happens to you.”

“It would not be your fault.”

“Amon-”

“Let me do this,” he insisted. “I can keep you safe. Forever, I swear.”

She hated the agony in his voice. The anguish. The desperation. He wanted her to believe; needed her to believe. And she knew his every word was true. She knew this; a fact, as the sky was blue, as the moon would rise even if there was overcast, as the grass was green and the days would continue on she knew.

It was what could happen that frightened her the most.

“You wouldn’t stop following me even if I told you not to, would you,” she mumbled. She knew the answer to this, too, even before he replied. Spoken as a statement, not a question.

“Not until I knew you were out of danger”

Another shudder racked down her spine, and she closed her eyes. When she opened them again, he was even closer; his breath now tangling with her own. Her thoughts scrambled dizzily; mind and heart buzzing with her pining.

Her nobleman licked his lips anxiously; eyes darting from her own to her lips and back again. “… What I would sacrifice to the Gods right now, just to kiss you, even once,” he whispered gruffly.

Her heart launched into the stratosphere.

Brushing her lips against his own, Essie whimpered faintly, “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

Groaning thickly, Amon pressed closer; barely restraining the temptation of her lips, but he didn’t have her consent. Not yet. He was holding back by the tiniest of margins, nesting her face in his hands.

“Essie… I love you.”

The sorceress’ breath hitched.

“Prove it to me, then, and kiss me.”

She should have known anything her nobleman committed himself to was going to be nothing less than perfect. His lips were light and soft; a stark contrast to the rugged feeling of his palms to her face. It was a kiss barely-restrained; chaste and longing but remarkably controlled. Gentle. Considerate. Giving. Something that lasted all of a few seconds, and it stole all oxygen from her lungs and left her there, eyes closed, reminiscing the moment over and over again. The pressure of his lips against hers. The tingles that it sent hurtling through her; humming in her veins like liquid fire. The taste of him on her lips as she tasted them.

Finally, she opened her gaze to meet Amon’s own, and his mouth hanging agape. He immediately looked between her eyes to her lips, and back again. His throat jumped.

“… I love you too, Amon.”

His years of patience must have snapped; the final thin hair-line fragment breaking. He did not wait for her approval for a second kiss, melding against her in a mess of sweetness and lingering want.

It was her weakness. It broke her. It was infuriating and exhilarating; she knew there would be no turning him away. She should have realized this would happen when she had been so careless and brainless to vanish on him as she had in the first place He was willing to chase her to the ends of this world, and beyond it if necessary. It made her heart swell, and it made her putty, and it felt like a blow to the chest all at once. Even after she’d left him; run away, his worst fear realized that once again he was alone, he came racing to her side anyway with a golden heart of amnesty and his endless yearning.

Essätha had been wanting this sense of completion for so long. She couldn’t believe she had wanted to deny him the very same satisfaction she so selfishly wanted of him just because it was the easier answer.

Caesar gave an exasperated ‘boof’ from his lack of attention as they fell into each other; gentle love-bites and muted gasps of ‘I love you’s between grabby hands latching on to each other. Desperate for something to hold; to cling and merge and fold into each other.

There was no separating Amon Thomas Illiad from Essätha Meduza, just as there was no breaking the cycles of the cosmos. In the end, they’d always seek out each other.

And that was more of a blanket of security than all the weapons she could ever own and all the years of isolation she’d ever have. The risk was worth it. He would always be worth it.

[thgreatestblue]

false god [part III]

➜ pairing: kokushibou x fem!reader ➜ warnings: smut, fluff, manga spoilers, angst, no happy ending. ➜ words: 7.8k ➜ a/n: the third and final part of this fic is finally here! it brings me a lot of joy to know that there are people out there that like my work even when my english isn't perfect. thank you to everyone who waited and supported this fic, i really appreciate it. this chapter is looong but i hope you enjoy it! ➜ ao3

➜ false god [part I] / false god [part II]

summary: Then, you look at him, really look at him. Past those six eyes, beyond the black, the red and yellow; for who he once was. Maybe in another life you would be graced with the luck to meet him again, under different circumstances, being able to love him for the person he truly was. 

V.

After so many years of living in the dark, the idea of enjoying the night as much as you enjoyed the day was still foreign. As the day shifted, you looked forward to watch the curtains of the stage closing for the sun, so the moon would have its chance to perform another beautiful night; stars twinkling and dancing between clouds, glowing in the dark — it was now an endless battle for your favoritism. 

There was something about the moon; its form so intrinsic and majestic. You would watch from your window how bright and graceful the celestial body moved around the sky. How it would cast a dreamy gleam as the night went by. The quiet sounds of the animals; crickets and owls filling the silence with their everyday songs. 

It was a beautiful phenomenon on this side of the world. Or at least, on this side of life you were finally experiencing. Counting stars to sleep, the gentle but cold breeze of the night, the fragile silence that seems untouchable even with the nocturne activity. It was peaceful, and that’s what you’ve wanted for so long that everyday was a day to enjoy life by itself. 

Or maybe partially, because some nights the last thing you did was contemplating the moon in the sky. Instead, you would be contemplating another one; right on earth, at the touch of your fingers. At Kokushibou’s mercy, you would give him anything he wanted — and you were, oh, so willing to provide. Even though you had a job to do, now most of the time, you would find yourself making your way to his bedroom, only getting out of it hours later. 

Kokushibou fucked like he fought. It was raw and rough, borderline animalistic — which you suspect was just his nature acting under his lust, he was a Demon after all. You didn’t mind though, you actually really liked how carnal and real the act felt. And mostly, how everytime after sex you would lay down, feeling good and satisfied. Soon enough you were craving for his touch, counting the hours, the days so you could taste him again. 

After some time, you learned all his preferences, all his favorite spots. You liked to see the hunger on his face when you changed things in bed, trying something new; just the greed on his eyes was enough to get you aroused. You loved the way he devoured your mouth, how he imprinted his desire on your flesh; carving you with kisses and teeth. 

Not only were your neck and shoulders marked; but you could find purple and blue spots on your back, down to your breasts, inside your thighs and even on your ass — He clearly was making it difficult for you to cover up everything. At some point you stopped trying to hide the marks he left on your skin. 

The other servants probably knew about your activities with him anyway, so it wasn't a secret you needed to keep. And the way Kokushibou glanced at your exposed, and pretty much marked skin for the first time while you were working still gets you all worked up — He was, without a doubt, a possessive man.

Soon enough, you started to spend more time in his bedroom than anywhere else. And because you didn't know how to explain to the servants that you’ve been having sex with him for the past few months, you choose to not talk about it at all. Pretending that nothing was happening was easier than trying to explain something that didn't really have an explanation. 

Or maybe it did. And it was quite simple. You liked to be fucked by Kokushibou, and he liked to fuck you. That was all.

When it came to having sex, it was something you could do without thinking; your body moved on its own, knowing exactly what to do and what it wanted. How to pleasure both of you, something that Kokushibou seemed to like — A contrast to the old days, because he wanted you to feel good, wanted to make you come screaming his name. Which was something you were very pleased about because you couldn't take one sided relationships anymore. 

However, when it came to simple interactions; like talking about the day, about the weather, or even dancing with him — another thing Kokushibou seemed to take a liking other than having sex — You were a mess, never knowing what to do, where to look at. It would make you laugh at how much those basic things left you blushing more than having his cock down your throat.

The night was prettier by the lake; the water was almost still, saving from the small bubbles from the fishes that popped on the surface from time to time. It reflected the full moon on its surface, mirroring the beauty from the sky. The wind hits your exposed legs, and even though it isn't cold, you shiver slightly. 

You were wearing only a kimono and your undergarments. It wasn't an ideal way to dress when going out of the house; but sooner or later you were going to be naked, so why make it difficult to undress? When Kokushibou invited you to come see the lake that day, it was more than obvious that he didn't want to only show you the place. 

“May I ask you a bold question?” You shyly say, glancing at him from the corner of your eyes.

You pick one grape from the bunch you had brought and eat it to distract yourself from the nervousness on our stomach. Kokushibou didnt say it was a picnic, but you decided to make it one. The towel that you extend was soft under your skin, the food was inside a basquet and even though the man wasn't eating anything from it, you knew he would still have his meal before dawn.

“You may.” He’s sitting by your side, eyes lingering on your fingers. The warmth of the proximity was nice since you weren't wearing many clothes.

“How old are you really?” You ask hesitantly. You knew it wasn't your position to ask personal questions; yet, you couldn't help wanting to know more about the man, wanting to dwell on his deep waters; wanting to find treasures no one had the chance to see. 

“Why do you want to know that?” Kokushibou blinks, eyes opening and closing in a perfect rhythm. 

Although it was rude to stare, the movement would always catch your eyes, watching how even his blinks were perfectly synchronized. You once had the opportunity to watch him train, and you wanted to imprint every single minute of that day on your mind, forever carved on the brain. You had never seen someone moving so beautifully yet dangerous; how impeccable the katana cut through the air, every single muscle exposed as he shifted from a position to another — And heavens, the way he fucked you after that left you sore for the rest of the week. 

“Because I'm curious?” You raise an eyebrow, trying to sound casual. 

You were still working your nervousness around him when you two weren't having sex. It was a territory probably neither of you knew much about, Kokushibou taking too long to answer, and you hesitating to continue. You pick another grape, this time making sure to suck your finger in the process.

Kokushibou shifts his gaze to the lake. A beautiful swan floated around, alone in the big body of water. You watch the bird as well, the gleam from above making the white of his feathers shine under the moonlight. Silence fell between you two, but it wasn't uncomfortable. You wonder if Kokushibou was thinking about his past life, if he was trying to remember all those years he had lived. 

“485 years.” He finally says.

You gag on the grape, coughing a little bit in the process. You had a suspicion that he was old, but 458 years? You look at the lonely swan again. Time must be a different concept for someone like Kokushibou, to watch seasons changing the landscape from a year to another, from snow to summer rains. People borning then dying. Heroes rising then sinking. Wars, Marriages. Life, Death. It was such a heavy number that you couldn't even fathom the idea of living for so long. Alone.

“Isn't lonely? Living for that long by yourself?” You genuinely wanted to know.

Kokushibou turns his head to look at you, bringing his hand to your face. He touches tenderly your cheek and you immediately incline your head, seeking the warmth of his skin. It was moments like this you allowed yourself to dream, just a taste of what it could be if this was another reality. You briefly close your eyes, kissing the palm of his hand.

“Sometimes it is,” His eyes hover over your face, then over your almost exposed breasts. The only thing keeping your kimono together was a sash around your waist; which was poorly tied. “Sometimes it is not.”

Truth be told, he had become bolder with his actions in the past few weeks, not restraining his touches for only the bedroom. You had a hard time trying not blushing furiously while he fucked you on the kitchen counter one night; the fear of being caught turning you on more than it should — or when he kissed your hand in front of the servants the other night after inviting you to dance.

That’s why when you got ready you thought it wouldn't hurt being bold as well. And by the way he was looking at your legs, the hem of your kimono sliding over your thighs, it was working quite well. 

In a swift motion, he grabs your wrist, pulling you into his lap. You don’t fight against it, letting your legs straddle his thighs, gasping as your pussy rubs against his crotch, and you can feel he’s already hardening in his pants. You wrap your arms around his neck, throwing your head back to show off your neck — that it never has time to recover before having his mouth all over it again.

Kokushibou doesn't waste any more time; his hand is already tangled in your hair, yanking in sharp tugs while biting and sucking the tender but still bruised skin of your collar. The other hand is untying the knot of the sash in a quick motion. You arch against him, bucking your hips into the friction. 

As soon as the kimono falls open, his mouth moves from your bruised neck down to your chest, leaving a trail of electricity at each kiss, lighting up all your body and forming a hot pool on your lower belly. He sucks one of your nipples and you roll your hips harder against him, moaning softly at his touch. 

“I didn't know you liked to play with dolls, Kokushibou-dono.”

You literally jump on his lap as soon as your mind registers the voice, squealing as the embarrassment of being caught washes over you. Kokushibou is fast on his movements though, quickly grabbing the hem of the kimono to cover your breasts. You hold your arms in front of your body before taking a look at the owner of the voice.

“What are you doing here, Douma?” The cold and sharp tone of his voice is enough to cease all of the fire and lust that was still lingering on your body. 

The man was standing a few steps away — at least he didn't have the audacity to come so close — His hair was so pale that it seemed silver under the moonlight; almost as long as Kokushibou too. His skin was also pretty pale. But what caught your attention was his eyes;  An array of rainbow pastel tones coloring his iris; it is different from anything you’ve seen, and you'd find it pretty if it wasn't for one detail.

He was definitely a Demon. And you had to curse yourself for, more often than not, forgetting about the fact that you lived amongst them. It was so easy to forget about problems like that when all you did was house work and sex. When there was no one in sight and no real danger to remember you that the world was actually a cruel place.

You notice that Douma, as Kokushibou called, is looking at you. At this point you should’ve already been used to Demons studying you with their hunter eyes, but it’s impossible to get used when every glance was different, if Kokushibou glanced at you with desire, then Douma looked at you as his next prey, ready to rip your head off. 

“Oh, I’m sorry for interrupting, it wasn't my intention!” He looks almost apologetic, but there’s something about the way he moves his features, as if it’s all mechanical; rehearsed.

“What do you want?” Kokushibou's voice cuts the night like a knife, it makes your shoulders tense. You had never heard him this angry before. 

You quickly get off of him, tying up the sash of your kimono again. Your legs tremble over the stare you’re receiving. It’s cold and sadistic, the smile spreading on his face is creep, making you remember why you had to stay away from Demons in the first place. 

“Hmm, I was feeling sad for losing three of our friends in such a short period of time.” He dramatically sighs, wiping away fake tears from his eyes, “I came here seeking your comfort but it seems like you have already found someone else.”

He glances at you again, and this time you can taste the danger and perverse intentions exhaling from him. You quiver slightly under his gaze, fear feeling your veins. In some way, it reminds you of Muzan; even though he never hid his intentions, somehow, having a Demon that did that on purpose was even scarier. 

“If you look at her ever again I’ll cut your head off.” Kokushibou warns, getting up from the spot, his back muscles are tense, the hand around his katana is tight. 

“Oh, Kokushibou-dono, you’re no fun! I was just teasing!” He laughs, putting a hand over his chest, “She’s indeed a fine piece of human, it would be a waste if something happened to her.”

It’s a lie. And both you and Kokushibou know it. However, the Demon doesn't look at you anymore, showing how important Kokushivou's position was amongst the Demons, his status turned him into a God, old and powerful. You honestly don't know if it should calm you, or make you even more alarmed. 

“Y/N, wait for me in my bedroom.” He commands, walking towards the other Demon.

“Yes, Kokushibou-dono.” It’s the only thing you can say, turning around and almost running back to the house without looking back. 

VI.

As the minutes ticked by, you could hear your own steps padding across the wooden floor, never stopping moving. You’ve tried to occupy your mind reading one of the books that were by the table, but the words didn't seem to make any sense, all blurry and twisted, the anxiety growing on your chest didn't make it easy either. You bite your nails again, feeling the fear creeping into your mind. 

For how long have you been walking in circles? 

The still lingering feeling of Douma’s predatory eyes spreads goosebumps all over your skin. He represents a different type of danger, if Muzan was violence and Kokushibou was dominance, the blonde was something as cold as ice, the type that burns your lungs when you try to breathe. His smile was just a facade; you wonder if people even believe in it — they definitely did.

However, you knew that the Demons didn't walk in groups, and they were mostly too narcissistic to even have friends. To have one coming in Kokushibou’s house was definitely a bad sign. Well, a bad sign for them. You had caught the servants whispering a few humors around the house but never paid any attention to them. Maybe you should’ve. Because now the idea of leaving this place, leaving Kokushibou, it didn't sit right in your mind — nor in your heart.

The sound of the door opening brings you to the present, immediately making you come to a stop. You hold your hands on your back, still feeling anxious about the situation — your gut telling you that something was definitely off. Holding your breath as Kokushibou steps in the room, you notice his eyes are a shade darker, jaw clenched tightly. 

You anxiously wait for him to say something, however, Kokushibou doesn't even look at you. Instead, he makes his way to the table by the corner of the room, quickly pouring himself a glass of his favorite beverage. You press your lips together, feeling the tension that has spread through the room starting to suffocate you. Something was definitely wrong, but you suspect Kokushibou wasn’t going to tell you, so you don’t bother asking.

He swallows down the entire liquid in one single gulp, setting down the glass with so much force that it makes you jump by the violence of the act. Kokushibou was angry. Your mind, for the first time in months, turns on the sirens that had been long forgotten since you started being intimate with the man. They are loud in your head and you can’t ignore the way your body starts to shake slightly.

You hated the taste that it left in your mouth, hated the way your body stiffened when he moved to pour himself another drink. Hated to remember that no matter what, your life wasn't normal. It was moments like this that made you rethink everything that you’ve done up until this point — if you even had made the right decision. You take a glance from the corner of your eyes, Kokushibou is holding another empty glass staring at the wall, the muscles on his arms are tensed at a point of breaking the glass.

“I’ll leave you alone, Kokushibou-dono.” It comes out weak and hesitant, your body building up a tension that goes down to your nerves. 

Kokushibou dosen’t say anything, doesn't look. And somehow you feel small, betrayed. Pressing your lips together, you close your eyes for a moment. It wasn't unusual that neither of you knew how to have a conversation, but this was just too much. You could sense the pressure of his hostility, taste the blood in your mouth. Whatever Douma told him it wasn't good news. You just hoped he wouldn't lash that angriness on you.

The thought makes you shiver, memories flooding your mind as the sound of the glass against the wooden table makes you jump again. This is bad, this is so bad. You thought you were safe; that those men and their angry fists and mean words were left behind — that they couldn't reach you here. Your heart beats faster in your chest, breathing starting to come out unseasy. You can’t go through that, not again. As anxiety starts to take over, you walk towards the door in quick steps.

“Stay.”

You stop by the door, hand holding the handle. Sweat runs down your forehead and you can’t bring yourself to look at the man. There’s a tiny chance that if you do, you will want to run, to put as much distance as you can between you and the predator Kokushibou actually is. You hesitate for a moment before letting go of the handle — even though you wanted to leave, he was still your lord, and you had to do whatever he asked. 

In a blink of an eye he’s standing right behind you, hands resting on your waist. You stiffen even harder as you feel his hot breath on your neck. It was so easy to get lost in the moment, to look at his face and not find anything strange, to continue to live your life in peace when the outside world was dipped in chaos and cruelty; molded by the hands of the same man who touches you so intimately. 

Your breath is caught on your throat when he kisses your nape, but the shuddering that takes over your body isn't good; it leaves you feeling cold and weird, caged by his hands and the door. There’s nothing you can do but try to fight those sensations from rising — the last thing you want is to make Kokushibou even angrier. 

“Y/N,” Kokushibou calls your name, and you hate the way you flinch; the blatantly display of fear makes you even more tense. 

Kokushibou holds your elbow, motioning for you to turn around. As you shift your body, your eyes fall to his chest, locked in the pattern of his kimono. Staring at him right now isn't a good idea, the reminder of your situation written all over his face. He studies you for a moment before speaking. 

“I’m not angry with you,” He says gently, slowly raising his hand, “I don't think I could ever be angry with you.” His touch is tender, the back of his fingers caressing your cheek so gently you find yourself relaxing under his touch.

The coldness of the room melts away as the warmth of his words hits your heart. The sirens come to a stop, leaving your head in complete silence. You lift your eyes to stare at him, and even if Kokushibou was hard to read sometimes because of the amount of eyes instead of skin, the look on his face was definitely softer, and you could swear there was a hint of smile on his lips. Your heart throbs with the sight.

Kokushibou has never treated you like a whore. He wasn't like those men.

For your surprise, it’s you who move first. Wrapping your hands around his neck and bringing him closer. You brush your lips against his while inhaling his musk scent. Kokushibou pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist and holds you in a tight grip; it’s almost suffocating the way his firm body presses on yours — almost as if he’s afraid that you’re going to leave. But you quickly discard the thought. 

Kokushibou is never afraid… Right?

You lean closer, forehead tenderly touching in between the first row of his eyes. You get lost in the heat of the moment; the act is so intimate you have to close your eyes. His breath dances around your face while your fingers rub gently his jaw, easing the tension that had settled there a few minutes ago. He hums with the touch, and if you didn't know any better, you would say you effectively calmed him down. But you don't have that kind of effect on him, do you?

The kiss is chaste, almost innocent. It was a first time for you, kissing someone this way, wearing your emotions on your sleeve without even noticing. And you decide that it feels good, taking your time to savour each part of him without worrying about the next step. 

And he lets you kiss him as much as you want, only tilting his head so you have better access to his mouth. You had never kissed Kokushibou so calmly before, without second intentions. It overflows you with feelings you didn't know that even existed, it was more than desire, more than lust. However, you push those thoughts for another time, now you were too focused on the flavour of his lips. 

He holds you tight, hands traveling down your back, slightly squeezing your ass in the process, and you breathlessly moan in his mouth, “May we continue what we started?” Kokushibou asks, leaving small trails of kisses along your jaw. 

And just like that, all the hesitation leaves your body. He was asking you, like the first time months ago. It’s a strange feeling, knowing that on some kind of level, he actually cared about you; about what you wanted. As you stop to think about, he never forced you to do anything you didn't want to. Sometimes you would hesitate, yes, but the final word was always yours. 

You nod, letting him guide you to the futon. And maybe the reason why you trusted him so blindly was because he cared enough to listen. Something that no one has ever done before. Althought it was terrible that you could excuse murder for just a tiny bit of Kokushibou affetion, you couldn't help but feel good in his arms, stability in his words. 

This time you decide to stay on top, straddling his thighs as soon as he sits on the futon. Kokushibou doesn't seem to mind, seeking your mouth instead of aiming for your neck. And you lose yourself in his taste, letting his tongue travel around your mouth, sliding against your own. You softly moan as he grinds against your pussy, his erection getting harder as you rock your hips forward. 

Kokushibou quickly unties the knot of the sash, and you let the kimono fall on to the floor. The heat on your lower belly starts to boil, building you up deliciously slow. Then, his mouth is on your left breast, biting and sucking gingerly while you grind on his crotch, pussy pulsing already. Your fingers curl on his hair, tugging harder as he pinches the other one.

“Aah, Kokushibou,” You throw your head back, intense hunger taking over you, “I need you, now.”

Kokushibou growls with your request, devouring your mouth like a man who hasn't eaten for days, and you take his carnal need with delight, sobbing when he bites down your lower lip. Suddenly, the tender atmosphere shifts, red fills your vision as he thrusts his hips upwards, grinding on your pussy, and it doesn't take long for you to become a mess of moans.

His clothes are quickly discarded, and you immediately wrap your hand around his cock, feeling each vein and muscle as you start to stroke him. You liked the weight and the build, the way it twists in your hand when you turn your wrist just right — only you could do this to him, and somehow it fills you with pride. 

You wanted to suck him off but right now you were taken by a need to have him inside you. It leaves you drunk with him; his scent clouds your head, and all you can do is feel every inch of his strong body against yours, rubbing on your hardened nipples. Sweat runs down your back and you’re so sensitive that even the brush of his finger on your clit makes you shudder, pulsing for something more.

You take the opportunity to kiss his neck while you run your hand down to his balls, he groans as you continue to stoke him, hands gripping your hips so tight it might leave marks; but you were already used to those — and strangely enough you want them more than ever. Positioning yourself above him, you hold one of his shoulders for balance while the other guides his cock to your entrance. 

Kokushibou holds your hips as you go down on him, groaning while watching you take all his length in one swift motion. You roll your eyes when his cock hits the deepest part of you, filling you up the way you most liked it. He stops you from moving though, taking his time to enjoy the feeling of your walls clenching around him.

“You’re so good,” He praises, “So perfect for me.”

Tears prick at the corner of your eyes and you don’t know why you are so sensitive today. A realization sinks on your stomach as you watch him behind heavy lids, his mouth red and swollen from your kisses, his hair was a mess, the once perfect ponytail now was in a disarray; the sight makes something itch under your skin. 

You reach for his face, involving his neck with one hand while the other tugs free the piece that holds his hair together. Kokushibou doesn't protest, doesn't move. Rather, he watches in amusement as you take a good look at him for the first time with his hair down. Your breath gets caught up on your throat.

He was the one who was perfect. 

“You’re so beautiful, Kokushibou.” It leaves you speechless. It wasn’t fair how astonishing his beauty was, almost from another world. 

You could stay like this forever, staring at him like he was a God — worshiping him as if it was your only salvation. His hair falls on his back, and somehow he looks way younger like that, it frames his face flawlessly; and you have to suppress the desire to run your fingers through his hair for the rest of the night.

Then, you look at him, really look at him. Past those six eyes, beyond the black, the red and yellow; for who he once was. Maybe in another life you would be graced with the luck to meet him again, under different circumstances, being able to love him for the person he truly was. Love. Your mind freezes as the word appears from the deepest part of you.

Kokushibou smiles softly, leaning closer to kiss you. And you take his mouth like a gift from up above. You run your tongue over his lips, his teeth, drinking him up like the most delicious wine you could ever taste. For now, you were more than satisfied with what you got.

You can feel his cock throbbing inside you, but instead of moving, you pull back from his mouth. Right now you just wanted to give everything you could, wanted him to feel everything you would never be able to say. You hold his face, lifting just a little to reach the first eye. 

Softly, as if you were holding something fragile, you kiss his eyelid. And then the other, then the other. You make your way down his face, putting devotion on each touch, each kiss carrying a different type of emotion. It makes him sigh every time your lips meet his eyelids. It was still too soon to say anything, but if the words appeared in your mind, then maybe it wasn't impossible. 

After all his six eyes received their deserved attention, you leave another chaste kiss on his mouth. But Kokushibou doesn't let you go far away, pulling you for an open mouth kiss that leaves you breathless. He devours your mouth with such a hunger you think you might come just from that. He’s desperate on his touch, savoring you as if you were going to disappear. You do your best to match his rhythm, trying to tell him that you weren't going anywhere, that your place was here, by his side. 

His cock throbs inside you again, and you take that as a cue to finally start moving. It starts quite slowly, you move your hips lazily, riding him while breathing heavily through your nose, eyes rolling to the back of your head as each drag of his cock makes you see stars. Kokushibou holds your hips, guiding you to keep moving; he watches you so intensely it makes you blush furiously.

“You take me so exceptionally,” He bites down on your earlobe, “I could watch you ride me all day.”

You moan from his words, they were making you feel hotter than normal. Maybe you did like when he praised you, when he would let his guard down. It showed that he liked and trusted this arrangement as much as you did. Perhaps it wasn't impossible then, love. 

Kokushibou kisses you deeply between muffled moans, picking up the pace. He wraps his arms tightly around your waist and thrusts harder, pounding his cock inside you with enough force that you feel yourself hanging on your sanity by a thin thread.

“Oh—nnh, Kokushibou!” You cry out, “Bite me, mark me.”

You don’t know where that need came from, however it spreads through your body as quickly as fire spreads through a forest. Realization hits you as he moans on your neck, you wanted to be owned by him so badly — and you would have laughed about how head over heels you were for this man if you were lucid enough.

Kokushibou bites down on your shoulder. It breaks your skin but it doesn't sting. Rather, it sends shivers down the impossibly heated pool on your lower belly. Then he bites down again, and again. You desperately moan louder each time — Kokushibou wanted you to be his too, and it sinks down into your bones, down to your core. 

Your nails scratch viciously at his shoulder, slicing red marks into his skin. He sucks and lickes all the bites, and even though you can feel blood running down your back, you’re happy. Somehow you were his, and that’s all that matters.

“Come for me, Y/N.” Kokushibou whispers, hungrily kissing you.

Your whine on his mouth, and even though you didn't want the moment to end, you felt like you were going to explode if you didn't come. Feverishly, your pussy tightens around his cock, your mouth opens but no sounds come out of it. 

Your orgams runs trought your body like a lighting, igniting every single nerve just to come crashing into you in a wave of relief. Kokushibou follows right after, growling in your ear. He thrusts deeper, coming inside you hot and heavy. 

Kokushibou pulls you with him to lie on the futon, you whimper as he slowly pulls out of you with a wet sound; his come drips down your pussy. You try to catch your breath, the afterglow lingering in your body so deliciously you can’t bring yourself to move. He rubs your waist with his thumb while you nuzzle his neck with your nose, hands caressing his chest. 

It feels different this time, the way his fingers brush your skin, how tender and fragil the air around you two feel. It fills you with joy, having him touching you like that, taking care of you after sex. As if you were something more. As if he liked you. 

You kiss his neck, then his shoulder, spreading small pecks along his collarbone. Blame the afterglow, blame the bubbling feeling in your chest, blame whatever you want. Damn it, you were happy. Kokushibou hums, stroking your back affectionately; definitely content with your pampering. 

Something crosses your mind, and before you can stop the words from coming out of your mouth, they are already out.

"What did Douma want?” You suddenly ask, feeling him tense under your body. Well, maybe you shouldn't have said anything, what a nice way to mess up a perfect moment. 

“Go to sleep, Y/N.” Kokushibou dismisses, you feel guilty when he stops stroking your back.

“Is everything alright?” You try again, the need to have an affirmation that nothing was going to change takes over your soul. 

“I told you to go to sleep.”

You fall silent, biting down your lips to prevent from saying anything else. You knew you shouldn't mingle in his business. However, you couldn't just ignore the fact that he was on the verge of snapping when he entered the room. The excruciating feeling creeping in your guts wouldn't let you sleep, you needed to know.

You hear Kokushibou sighing before speaking, “Muzan-sama is summoning me, I'll be back in a few days, that's all.”

You turn your head to look at him. His eyes are closed but there's a hint of uneasiness in his features. Muzan was a tough person to deal with it, you knew that very well. However, you couldn’t stop thinking that there was something more between the lines. You would’ve to talk with the servants if you wanted to know because the man clearly wasn't going to tell you.

In a gentle motion, you cup his jaw with one hand, only two of his eyes open with the gesture, watching you behind long lashes. Kokushibou’s hair is spread in the sheets, a pool of dark hair surring him like a dark aura; with hints of red on the tips. You ran your hand through his long and beautiful hair, it’s silk and smooth to the touch; just like you expected. He goes back to stroke your back, and you don’t fight the tiny smile from forming on your lips.

You look at him, but nothing comes out of your mouth. It's on the tip of your tongue, begging to be freed from its cage. It’s an overflowing feeling that fills your chest, padding each hole that life had once torn it open. It’s delicate, like your chest is filled with an intense light that shines through every pore.

Rather than speaking, you lean closer, capturing Kokushibou’s lips once again and diving in for a kiss. His lips feel soft on yours, still wet from the previous activity. He kisses you with vigor and you’ve to heavily breathe through your nose to not break the kiss. You wanted this to last as long as it could. 

There’s no tongue, only your lips meeting his in a soft and very intimate act. It feels pure somehow, how your hand caresses his jaw as Kokushibou sucks slightly your bottom lips. And you decide that you should kiss him like this more often from now on.

You pull away, breathing heavily. If the smirk on his face was a signal that he understood what you wanted to say, then it was enough. Snuggling your nose on his neck, you close your eyes, getting lost on his scent as fatigue starts to take over your body. 

”Good night, Kokushibou."

"Good night, Y/N."

VII.

You should’ve known something was wrong when Kokushibou kissed you in front of everyone before leaving. His hands cupped your face, kissing you so tenderly that you sighed as soon as he retread, missing his touch already. The gasps and shocked looks from the rest of the servants didn't bother you; what did bother you was the dread feeling eating you from inside out. You watched him go, disappearing in the distance until you couldn't see his silhouette anymore. 

The moon shone bright in the night, the flowers swung with the wind. But the air was tense, carrying an intense trepidation that left you shivering on the spot. Your gut ached with apprehension.

You should’ve known something was wrong when that same night you weren't able to sleep, nor the other ones. Without his warmth, without his body, without him. You haven't realized until now how you had become dependent on the man. You also weren't eating, dark circles adorned your eyes, and even when the servants asked for you to at least drink some tea, you couldn't find the strength. Not even their voices you were able to register, caught in a dark void that inebriated all your senses. 

Not one, nor two, but three weeks passed and there was no sign of him. You would sit in the front of the house every night, waiting for his return. 

But Kokushibou never came back.

You knew something had gone wrong when you saw the banner of the Demon Slayer in the distance, moving so painfully slow that you could count your heartbeats in the fraction of time they took to make their way to the entrance of the house. Someone shouted, there was the sound of something crashing on the wooden floor, you sensed someone touching your shoulder, speaking enthusiastically, motioning to the group of people that were now crossing the yard with huge smiles on their faces.

Suddenly, it was winter. 

Your body starts to shake violently, the air that enters your lungs is suffocating, like sharp knives stabbing your body repeatedly. You shook your head, holding your hands together in a prayer. Please, let my gut be wrong just this time. For all those weeks you never allowed yourself to think about a scenario like this; never allowed the dread feeling to take over your mind, the trepidation ran in your veins but you didn't let it poison you. 

This couldn't be. No, it was impossible. Kokushibou wasn't… Although, deep down you already knew the answer. Denying it was what made you tolerate the way the moon and the sun change places in the sky; the cold nights, the tasteless food, the insufferably voices of the servants. It was what prevented you from collapsing completely — however, now there was nothing preventing you from finally stepping to the edge of the cliff.

Someone touches your hand, it takes a few minutes for you to process who it was. The old lady holds your hands in hers, her smile doesn't settle right in your stomach, it sickens you instead.

“You are free, honey. He will never use you like that anymore.” She says in a sweet tone but it’s too sugary, too much for your palate. 

“What...” Your frown, feeling your skin crawl underneath her touch.

“It’s okay, Y/N. We all knew what he was doing to you…”

“No, you’re wrong,” You shout, face twisting in a scowl. You retreat your hands as if she had burned them, the implication of that phrase cutting deep to your bone, “I wanted him, I loved him!”

You can’t process what you just said, you can’t process that it took this long to say something so simple. The old lady looks at you with pity, as if she understands how you were feeling better than yourself, as if she knew you. She tries to hold your hand again, saying something you can’t comprehend, her touch is sickening, it feels wrong. 

“Don’t touch me.” You warn, stepping back. Your heart is in your throat, it burns to speak, it burns to breathe. 

The other servants stop their chatting to stare at you, some of them look disgusted; as if you had become a Demon too. There’s a nauseating silence but you can read each one of their thoughts, you don’t notice when your hands start to clench on your sides. You can’t stand it anymore. Panicking, you run to the only place you knew they wouldn't follow; his bedroom.

You’re trembling, knees almost giving in when you arrived at his door. No air enters your lungs; they are on the verge of collapsing. It hurts, it hurts more than any punch you’ve ever received, it hurts more than all the wrong decisions you had made in your entire life. It cruelly crushes your heart — tore it apart as if it was just made of paper — it wasn't strong enough to endure another change.

Impulsively, you find yourself opening the drawer where he kept his clothes, grabbing the beautiful piece of purple kimono he was always wearing. You run your hand through the fabric, the simple pattern brings a sense of melancholy; the taste of memories is so bitter on your tongue that you can’t keep standing. Your knees hit the ground in a loud and painful thud.

You bury your face in the fabric, screaming to the world, to the universe. Screaming until your voice was gone, until you couldn't hear anything but your own agonizing sound, lost in a sea of excruciating pain. You were drowning again, but this time there was no one to save you — misery corrodes your foundation, making all that you’ve built up until this moment come crashing down on you.

Life was never going to give you an option, was it?

His scent was still strong in the bedroom, on the kimono. You take a deep breath, trying to hold into something, anything. However, it does the completely opposite. It fills you with memories, shooting through your mind like bullets. They hit you countless times, each one more painful than the other. A broken sob escapes your lips.

You remember his touch, his voice, his body. But mostly, you remember the feeling of being with Kokushibou. It has always been peaceful, it has always felt good. In only a few months you were able to finally begin to be yourself, to finally dream. You remember his tiny smile, the way his hair swung when he walked, the way he touched you, the way he looked at you. 

You loved him. You really loved him. And even if Kokushibou didn't feel the same, he still gave you everything you wanted, a house, a peaceful life you always fought for, and the most important thing; he gave you affection. He took care of you when you thought the entire world was against you. You were selfish for wanting him to live forever, for wanting a Demon to continue to live, you knew that, but your heart didn't; it screamed for him to come back.

Nothing lasts forever, so why did you think he was an exception? 

It was an illusion that this could go on until you died. Another broken sob comes ripping your insides until it escapes your lips. It was all false. The tears come in large drops, dripping down into his kimono as you continue to scream. They crash and burn, making your body quiver with the intensity. 

Kokushibou was gone. He wasn't coming back to sleep by your side, to take care of you. He wasn't coming back to run his finger through your hair, to kiss you when you needed it. He wasn't coming back to touch you and love you.

For days the sky felt dull, as if an eclipse had settled in front of the moon and the sun, leaving you in an eternal twilight; the long nights and the colorless days. It aches your soul, the deep cuts were torn open, and now were bleeding nonstop, and you feel like dying from those injuries. 

When the night comes, you’re still crying. Everything feels false, your hands, his scent, reality. You can feel your body, can’t feel your face. You try to walk over the window by the corridor, trying to find some form of comfort, anything to put the pain to a stop. But it breaks your heart all the same.

Tonight, there was no moon to gleam over the darkness of the night.

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 53: Home Sweet Abusive Home

I unlocked the Conquest version of My Castle at the end of the last chapter. It’s basically the same; there are different building styles, Lilith attacks instead of heals, the shops sell Nohrian weapons instead of Hoshidan ones, etc. I’m going to be ignoring castle stuff this time and instead analyzing classes.

Class Profile - Nohr Prince/Princess

Corrin and Kana’s default class, wields swords and dragon stones. Balanced with good HP and Strength. The class’s first skill, Nobility, boosts EXP gained. The other skill, Dragon Fang, gives a skill stat determined chance to do a special attack that does 1.5 damage. Dragon Fang also has unique animations that have Corrin attacking with dragon arms. Design wise, the black and white stripes are nice but a bit busy. The cape is nice, but the random slits over the princess version’s thighs are dumb.

Class Profile - Hoshido Noble

Nohr Prince/Princess’s promotion in Birthright and an optional promotion in Revelation. Stat wise, it has better Strength, Skill, and Defense than its Nohrian counterpart, as well as the ability to use staves. It’s first ability, Dragon Ward, gives nearby allies a luck based chance to half damage taken. This fits with its more supportive role. On the other hand, its second ability Hoshidan Unity gives a 10% boost to the activation rate of all skills. Design wise, it’s a silver and gold version of Corrin’s normal design with a few details that make it look more Hoshidan. It’s a great design, assuming you ignore the fact that the female version isn’t wearing pants.

Class Profile - Nohr Noble

The Conquest version of Hoshido Noble. Has slightly better Speed, Magic, and Resistance, as well as the ability to use tomes. Its first skill, Draconic Hex, lowers the stats of enemies after combat. The other skill, Nohrian Trust, is really interesting, allowing Corrin to use the battle skills of supporting allies. I love the black coloring with hints of magenta and the tattered cape, but I have to groan at the cleavage and continued lack of pants for female units. Also something I noticed: Nohr Nobles have a shield on their left shoulder, while Hoshidans have a shield on their right shoulder. It’s a nice little detail.

Also, you know how I stole Rinkah and Sakura’s weapons? The damn game gave them back!

Conquest Chapter 7: A Dragon’s Decree

Moron and his Nohrian siblings return to Castle Krakenburg. Garon praises Xander for invading Hoshido. Xander brings up Moron, who Garon apparently can’t see from ten feet away, and Garon is shocked that Moron isn’t dead. Garon yells at Moron for coming home and accuses him of being a spy. Xander insists Moron is loyal and brings up the fight with Ryoma. Iago believes this to be a ruse, which makes sense. He did that shit in Birthright.

Moron asks about the exploding sword. Garon very convincingly pretends to know nothing. Garon uses the fact that Moron is suspicious of the repeated attempts on his life as evidence that Moron is a traitor and orders Xander to execute him. So glad we came back.

Camilla and Elise beg for mercy and Xander refuses to kill his brother. Iago says that makes Xander a traitor, too. Moron says he’ll kill himself to protect Xander. Garon, overjoyed at the idea of suicide, decides to leave it up to Anankos, the dragon god who was mentioned like once in Birthright. Anankos whispers to Garon to spare Moron, if he passes a test. Moron must suppress a rebellion in the ice tribe to prove his loyalty, without any help from his siblings or the Nohrian military. Something about Moron going off alone to enemy territory to prove his loyalty feels oddly familiar...hope this isn’t secretly a ploy to kill Moron again.

Xander says that taking out an entire army singlehandedly is impossible. Moron agrees to the mission. After Moron leaves, Garon monologues about how Moron is going to lose all hope and wish for death. Real glad we chose to side with Nohr, this truly was the right decision.

Xander, hearing Garon say evil shit out loud, does not decide to stop working for Garon. He says he knows what he has to do, but spoiler alert, it isn’t overthrow his evil father.

Moron goes through the woods of the Forlorn, where you fight Leo in Birthright, with only Lilith accompanying him. Faceless show up and attack, surrounding Moron. Felicia shows up and takes one out with a dagger. Moron points out that he had to destroy Felicia’s friends and family without help, but shrugs it off because they aren’t technically at the Ice Village yet.

This battle is actually pretty good, taking on a ton of enemies with only two units. At the start of turn three, Silas and Elise show up to rescue Corrin. At the start of turn four, Elise’s retainers Arthur and Effie join them. Arthur mentions that he’s late because a bird stole his map and Effie’s late because her armor made her sink into the swamp. Elise mentions that Xander planned out this rescue behind Garon’s back.

Arthur

Arthur is Talitu's rude Wind Mage son...wait, wrong Arthur. Arthur is a Monk who...okay, once more time. Arthur is Elise’s unlucky but heroic Fighter retainer. I love Arthur as a character, this boisterous, cheesy, superhero fighting for justice. His design has this massive lantern jaw and he wears a superhero costume with a cape. His personal skill, Misfortune, makes critical hits more likely on both him and his enemies. This is fitting for the running gag of him being supernaturally unlucky, something reflected in gameplay by him having an abysmal luck stat.

Effie

Elise’s other retainer, a Knight. She seems to be a protective warrior. Honestly, I didn’t pick up too much about her personality because I was distracted by her utterly monstrous strength star. Effie is buff. Her personal skill, Puissance, pairs well with this by boosting her damage if she’s far stronger than an enemy. Personally, I’m not too fond of Effie’s design. Her face feels to girly and looks like she’s wearing make-up, which doesn’t match her personality. The big shoulder pads look weird and the boob plate is eye-roll inducing. At least it’s better than her Heroes design, which is atrocious.

After battle, Felicia volunteers to lead us to her village. The camera pans over to reveal Iago was responsible for the faceless attack. Because he’s an evil asshole who I hate.

Also I grabbed Mozu between chapters.

Support: Corrin/Elise

C: Corrin stumbles upon Elise practicing punching in a field. Elise insists she's just picking flowers because she's sweet. Eventually, Elise admits that she's training so she won't be a burden to the army.

B: Corrin trains Elise to grow stronger. Elise struggles to do push-ups.

A: Elise sobs about being pathetic. Corrin insists that war isn't about fighting, it's about having a pure desire for peace. The amount of people Corrin kills contradicts this.

S: Corrin gives Elise flowers to propose to her. I vomit.

Review: Setting aside the incestuous pedophilia that ends this one, not bad. I think Elise works more than Sakura because at least she’s entertaining when complaining about being a burden.

Support: Arthur/Felicia

C: Felicia tells Arthur she's a bad maid because she's incompetent and clumsy. Arthur relates.

B: Arthur explains that the best way to deal with problems is to be carefree. As he walks, he almost slips on a banana peel (despite the army not storing bananas) and is swarmed by mosquitos (which don't exist in this region).

A: Arthur tells a story of a time he tried to save a drowning person, hit his head, and almost drowned. The person he tried to save was helped by someone else. Arthur explains that he and Felicia shouldn't worry about mishaps.

S: Arthur asks Felicia to meet with him so he can propose. They fall in a pit, Setsuna style, and Felicia accidentally freezes Arthur's fingers so he can't get the ring out of his pocket.

Review: Paring up these absolute messes of people is hilarious.

Support: Mozu/Silas

C: Mozu asks Silas if she should just leave the army and go back home (to the corpse filled ruins of her village I guess) because she isn't very strong. Silas volunteers to train her to be stronger.

B: Mozu says Silas shouldn't waste time training her. Silas tells her her "I'm too weak to be good" mindset is holding her back and that her wasting her potential is a sin against her murdered parents. Goddamn.

A: Mozu, believing she has potential, improves. Silas says he wasn't talented as a kid and only became a good knight because he never gave up. Mozu promises to cook for him.

S: Silas proposes so he can have pie every day. Mozu fantasizes about killing people with S-Rank pair up bonuses.

Review: Not bad, but needed a certain spark to be great. Silas telling Mozu that attitude is everything is interesting, but it kinda falls off towards the end.

Support: Effie/Jakob

C: Jakob bakes a cake for Corrin. Effie eats it. Jakob tries to physically stop her but she shrugs off everything he throws at her.

B: Effie works out by lifting water barrels and tells Jakob that she needs to be strong so she can protect her friends, even if it costs her her own life. Jakob says he doesn't want her to die for him because he'd have to spend the rest of his life feeling guilty. Ugh!

A: Effie says that she can't not protect him because they're friends. Jakob says that's fine, just don't die in the process.

S: Jakob bakes a cake with protein powder instead of flour to propose to Effie. Effie says she isn't going to marry him for his baking skills, but for his good heart.

Review: Pretty good. Effie is amusing throughout this Support and the discussion of dying for friends is nice.

[emmy-writes-sometimes]

The Hoodie Problem

A wardrobe mistake costs you and Henry the privacy of your relationship. 

-

           “No,” you groaned as your heard the dreaded chiming of the Alexa alarm. “No, no, no, turn it off!”

           “You have to say its name, dearie,” a tired Henry grumbled in response. You could feel him pull you tighter, deeper into his warm arms. “Alexa, stop the alarm.” The alarm stopped right after.

           “It’s currently 6:20 AM. The weather in London, England, is currently 6 degrees Celsius and will be sunny for the rest of the day. There are no unread emails for your .edu or gmail.com account. One package, containing 3 makeup brushes and dog treats will be arriving to 102…’

           “Will she shut up?” You groaned in response, turning back into Henry’s warm body. The room was freezing cold, and the dog had already gotten off the bed.

           “I don’t think she’s done yet.” In a single second, the opening riff of Back in Black started playing. “Alright, love, you actually need to go.”

           “No,” you grumbled. “Fuck class, I don’t wanna go to class. I hate it anyway, and I don’t wanna sit there and listen to my history professor talk about an asshole and defend his work when it’s already shit anyway.” Henry chuckled, sending another wave of heat through your body, making you want to stay even more.

           “You won’t get to argue your vulgar point if you’re late.” You sighed and started to sit up, yelling at Alexa to stop playing music. “Go, darling, otherwise I won’t get out of bed either.”

           “You’re such an asshole in the morning,” you responded, wrestling yourself onto the floor. A gigantic ball of fluff followed you, expecting his breakfast. “Can I borrow a hoodie? Left mine in the laundry.”

           “Which you only did so you can borrow one of mine. They should all be clean, just find one that can cover the bruises on your neck.” You sighed, spying a hoodie from a charity Rugby match Henry had done the month before, and after slapping deodorant onto your under-arms you pulled it on over her sports bra. You hoped it would be enough. Quite honestly, you didn’t care who saw the hickies on your neck. Anyone who was going to see was an adult who should act like an adult about it. Your hair would have to do since it wasn’t too greasy, and after deciding just to leave it down, you finished up in Henry’s adjoining bathroom and walked back to the bedroom.

           “Covered?” You asked.

           “Yep. Leave me your keys, take the Merc, and I’ll pick it up from the shop after my workout, I want them to check the paint on the hood, too.” He looked you up and down, sitting up in bed as you walked over to give him a kiss.

           “Thanks, babe.”

           “You look beautiful,” he responded with a smile.

           “I do not.”

           “You do!” Without bothering to look at the back of the sweatshirt, Henry got out of bed and went into the bathroom. You yawned as the massive dog zoomed down the stairs, waiting for breakfast. Kal sniffed around as you set foot on the stair landing, probably wondering why your vanilla perfume was mixed with the scent of Henry’s strong aftershave. Truth be told, you were glad. It was a comforting smell.

           “Be a good boy, Kal, Papa’s gonna feed you in a minute.” The dog panted in excitement and went to go stand by his water bowl, where he would inevitably drool for the rest of the time until Henry came to feed him. You placed your things from the dining room table, your makeshift desk, into your backpack, refilled your water bottle, and took a few seconds to exchange your keys with Henry’s keys. With another glance around the house, making sure you didn’t leave any chargers behind, you walked out the front door and began to adjust Henry’s car to fit your height. You felt like something was off, but you couldn’t describe it. Instead you went to go get your coffee and find a place to park before your frightfully early class.

           “You look knackered,” a voice said behind you as you finally climbed out of the car an hour and a half later. It wasn’t the first time you’d borrowed one of Henry’s cars, but at least it was the humblest of the three he had. The McLaren wasn’t something he even trusted himself to drive sometimes, he’d finally gotten rid of the Clio collecting dust at his parents’ house, and the Aston was his precious baby you didn’t dare go near. But you were endlessly grateful he let you borrow the Merc. You just wished it wasn’t so flashy. It was ten times flashier than the seven-year-old Hyundai you’d inherited from your mother. Especially in the parking spot right in front of the building ten minutes before class where people could see you getting out of it. The voice who’d spoken was Anna, your best friend, and supposed roommate if you ever came home.

           “Trust me when I say that man needs a new coffee machine, because I’m sick of having to leave the house at seven in the morning to go buy some,” you groaned in response, swinging your backpack over your shoulder. It was heavy as hell, but you were carrying most of your things in it because you didn’t have time to go back to your barely lived-in dorm room. Your other hand held your gigantic coffee, the biggest one you could buy because apparently British people preferred caffeine-free tea in the morning. People called you absolutely crazy for getting cold drinks when it was cold outside, too, but you didn’t care.

           “You realize your neck is completely purple, right? I doubt an espresso machine is the reason you’re so tied.” You scoffed at Anna’s statement. In reality it hadn’t been crazy sex keeping you up for the past few nights – you’d been working so late that Henry came up to you the night before and wouldn’t stop biting at your neck until you agreed to come to bed, hoping it would embarrass you into having better sleeping habits. But sex was a much better story.  

           “Is it really bad?” You asked.

           “No. Not from the front.” Anna started walking backwards up the building’s staircase, opening the door for the two of you. Your classroom was the first one on the left, a massive auditorium, because everyone had to take the History of Wagnerian Opera class for some stupid reason. You took your normal places in the bright room, taking your laptops out onto the desks. You fully expected to have to plug it in, but Henry, the ever helpful boyfriend, had plugged it in when he found it half dead the night before.

           “Had a rough night, did you, Yankee?” Another voice asked behind you. It was Isaac, another student you’d been friends with from the moment you stepped on campus.

           “What on Earth gave you that idea?” You asked as you took a sip of coffee. Isaac leaned closer, looking down at the back of the sweatshirt you were wearing. The hood barely covered the top of the lettering on your back. It read Cavill in white letters, and underneath it was the number 01. It was obviously customized, and well-loved judging by the fading English rose that was the logo for Henry’s favorite team. It was about three sizes too large, too, adding to the evidence that the hoodie didn’t belong to you. Isaac and Anna knew you were dating Henry, but most people had no idea. It wasn’t like you were hiding it, because you weren’t. Henry just wanted to protect you from the craziness that came with dating him, including paparazzi and prying eyes that would try to find their way into every little thing you did with or without him. You hadn’t signed an NDA or anything, but Henry was insistent on protecting you for as long as he could. You were fourteen years younger than him and he loved you dearly and nothing could change that.

           “You do realize that the back of your hoodie says HIS name on it, don’t you?” Isaac said quietly, hoping no one else in the auditorium heard.

           “What?” You asked in response. You could feel your face going red.

           “It says Cavill 01.”

           “Oh, shit.” You couldn’t take it off because the only thing you were wearing underneath it was a thin sports bra, and of course Henry’s car was so spotless on the inside that there was no chance of there being an extra shirt in there. Come to think of it, he’d been lounging around in the sweatshirt the night before. Shit, you thought. How could you miss it? How could you screw up that badly? What if this ruined everything?

           “Oh shit is right,” Anna remarked.

           “Does my hair cover it?” Isaac looked down at your hair. The lecture was about to start, but the thought of maybe losing Henry over a hoodie made you want to sit in the corner and cry.    

           “No. Neither does the hood.” You sank lower into the seat.

           “Maybe people won’t care. Cavill’s a common last name here.”

           “No, not really. And I think they will.” You sighed, crossing your arms against your chest.

           “Just don’t mention it to anybody and wear your bag when you can. Problem solved.”

           “I’ll get you something else later,” Anna cut in. In reality everyone already knew something was up. You had mentioned a few times, offhand, that you had almost moved into your boyfriend’s house and was commuting from Kensington. And you mentioned one day that he was an actor, much less that he was one of the most well-known actors in the entire world. Your phone had his name as Hank, and even though the connection wasn’t immediate, it was still enough to make someone think of the name Henry. Damn the British and their overly common name diminutives.

           “I swear to God, I’ll strangle whoever even thinks about it,” you sighed in response, putting your head down until the professor started class. You didn’t need to take notes quite yet, and pulled up the messages between you and Henry. The last night it was just on my way, got the food! And you are an absolute angel. Drive safe. His name wasn’t completely revealed at the conversation.

           We have a problem. Henry started typing immediately.

           You didn’t crash the car, did you????

           No, but that probably would’ve been better…

           Please explain.

           Promise you won’t get mad?

           What’s wrong???

           I picked up your hoodie from last night and it has your name on the back and it hides my neck but it has your name on it and there’s nothing under it so I can’t take it off and I’m freaking out because you don’t want people to know and I’m sorry, I just screwed up so bad. I’m such an idiot.

           It’s okay. Calm down. You’re not an idiot. You’re an absolute moron and I love you anyway

           I’m so sorry. I know you didn’t want anyone to know.

           The only reason I didn’t want anyone to know is because I didn’t want anyone to make you upset because I’m stupidly in love with you and people will try to tell you otherwise. It’ll be okay. If they find out they find out. Don’t worry about it. Really.

           I feel like an idiot now.

           I’m sure you look better in it than I do anyway. Don’t worry about it, love. I’ll see you at home and we’ll figure it out.

           Thank you.

           I love you!!!!

           Love you more dimples.

           You smiled a little, sitting back into your chair and starting to type out notes about the dark undertones within Ride of the Valkyrie. For the rest of class, it was fine. But you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t nervous for your next class. Isaac wasn’t there to back you up, and Anna sat on the other side of the room because you always distracted each other. You were on your own, taking in the scent of Henry’s aftershave that was left on the sweatshirt from the night before. It helped you calm down at least a little, even if the name on the back made you nervous. You sat lower in the chair than usual, but it didn’t stop at least one person knowing.

           “You like Henry Cavill too?” Elizabeth, the most annoying person on Earth (and a completely mediocre pianist with no sense of emotion who only got in because her father works for the royal family), said as she strained to read the sweatshirt on the way to her seat.

           “Yep.” You tried to play it off and wipe out the conversation before it even started. Never before had you wanted to listen to your old white professor rant about other old dead white guys. “He’s a good actor.”

           “I’m, like, so in love with him,” Elizabeth responded. Henry rolled his eyes every single time you said a word about Elizabeth, but you’d never tell her that. “Like, he’s just so dreamy.”

           “Oh, yeah,” you responded without even thinking. “He’s gorgeous.” You didn’t even realize what you said until Elizabeth’s eyes danced with a grin that matched her mouth.

           “You know him?” She exclaimed.

           “I mean, um, yeah, my internship…” you tried to cover, but it definitely didn’t work.

           “Shut up, you know him? Or, oh my gosh, is he the guy you’re dating?” You could tell that all of the color drained from your face and the room suddenly felt hot. You weren’t going to lie about it, but she would also be one of the first few people to know. And it wouldn’t be long before she blabbed her mouth to her followers.

           “I heard he likes younger girls anyway,” Ellen, the girl who sat behind Elizabeth, said. That was the cue for you to realize that everyone else was listening, too, and they couldn’t just mind their business. Your hands shifted uncomfortably inside the pocket of Henry’s sweatshirt. The room was definitely getting warmer.

           “Yeah,” you responded quietly. “We’ve been dating a few months and didn’t want to tell anyone yet. But you figured it out, so congrats.” You swallowed a lump in your throat. On the one hand you were glad that it wasn’t going to be a secret anymore. You didn’t want to hide how much you loved the curly-haired idiot who was too large for his own good.

           “Oh my GOD!” Elizabeth said excitedly. She was a little too loud with it. You just turned back around and pulled out your phone, hands shaking from the anxiety of what Henry had said. He said you were good enough, but what happened when the world was able to judge you?

           Well, Elizabeth figured it out. Not long until she spills to her 22 followers. And then their 22 followers.

           At least I can post that picture you took with me on the beach…

           The ugly one where I almost drowned after? Nooooo please!!!

           Oh that’s not what I was thinking about, but now that you mention it, my fingers might just slip…

           This conversation is DONE, fat Cavill! I swear I’ll punch the dimples right out of you.

           You underestimate me, little one.

           Cavill, this class is an hour long and I swear if I get out and you did something I will make you sleep on your own couch for the next year.

           Guess you’ll just have to fight me when you get home…

           With that, the conversation was over. Most people in the room didn’t seem to notice or care, but Elizabeth and Ellie did. Your friends didn’t for the most part, but you would assume some would turn on you. And you could tell that they were going to do whatever they could to make sure everyone knew that they knew before anyone else. It was strange to think that Henry was being so cool with it, that he wanted there to be a before people knew and an after. You shut your mind off and did your best to focus, even though it wasn’t very well.

           You got up at the end of class and packed your things, ready to brave the library until your next class, but you exited the room and there was someone standing at the entry hallway. Henry. And he was holding another coffee in one hand, and draped on his other arm was a shirt. He’d never been in public with you without some stupid disguise on, much less to bring you coffee in between classes.

           “Henry?” You asked, slightly too loudly. Elizabeth and Ellen turned toward you, but you blew past them to see Henry. He was grinning, from ear to ear.

           “So apparently, according to the internet in the past few minutes I’ve been in the car, I’m cradle robbing. Apparently you’re Instagram-model material, which I could’ve told you,” he said. “I brought you another coffee for dealing with bullshit, and I brought you another shirt in case you want to change.”

           “Can I keep this one?” You asked, looking down at Henry’s that you were still wearing. “And you didn’t post the bad picture of me yet?”

           “No, I was waiting for your approval,” he responded. He reached for his phone and handed it to you, and it was opened to a set of pictures he hadn’t posted yet.

           @henrycavill: The real Mission Impossible is getting her to stay still long enough to take a picture with her favorite old man. To be clear, though; she is MINE and I couldn’t be happier. I will sword-fight ANYONE to defend her honor!!

           It was a series of five pictures, all of them the two of you together, some of them cuter than others, and you just grinned. You couldn’t believe he was okay with everything, and you couldn’t believe that he was actually standing there with you, braving the people in your class just to hand you a coffee and offer you a shirt.

           “I love you,” you said quietly. He smiled in response. “Really.”

           “I love you too. I don’t care who knows.” You laughed and hugged him tightly, even though he was still holding your coffee. “But I do want the Merc back, your car is outside.”

           “Whatever you say, cradle-robber.”

A/N: I’m in an opera history class right now and it’s so frustrating that I’m definitely taking it out here. I hope the person who requests this loves it as much as I did because omg I love this 😭

[sarcasti-cally]

birthday surprise

so, koganegawa’s birthday is today, July 9th, and um.. where’s the love for my boy kogane? i felt like this was the perfect time to give him some love 🥰 ❤️ ❤️ (and to quench my thirst) this is the first time i’m ever writing a fic or even smut in general so please be nice :,) just gonna casually tag @bokutokoutarou since you wanted to be there when i post my first ever fic so here i go. 🚶‍♀️

dom!koganegawa x reader????? woahh

s m u t

words: 3063

Drool was slowly pooling from your mouth as you just woke up, the sun beaming straight into your eyes, causing your eyelashes to flutter and flip your body to face away from the sunlight. Before you could close your eyes again, you reached out for your phone on your pillow and went to check the time, which is a routine you developed without noticing. 

1:53, you noted. But, you immediately stood up and wiped the drool from the corners of your mouth to realize that it was July 9th. Shit. You cursed at yourself in your head while frantically throwing on whatever you saw. 

Black shorts and a baggy t-shirt representing your school, Date Tech. You went to the bathroom to see what you overall really looked like taking into consideration that your hair must have been a bird’s nest from moving a lot in your sleep. 

“Huh.”

You didn’t think the shirt you chose to wear would cover your shorts, but you shrugged it off. Hopefully some idiot doesn’t think that you’re not wearing anything under it. Thankfully, your hair wasn’t all that much of a mess- i mean, it was still a bit frizzy and in a loose ponytail, but who really cares? Definitely not you.

You threw on some white crew socks with some black shoes you saw under your bed. While you struggled a bit to put your shoes on, you heard something coming from your bed. It was your phone vibrating. 

“I swear to god, if it’s some annoying son of a bitch-“ you stood up and tripped since you were trying to put on your other shoe standing up while your foot’s in the air. As you peered over your phone, you saw that it was a notification from Koganegawa and you sighed in relief. 

When you had your shoe on you grabbed your phone and went to go and read what he messaged you.

“Hey, Y/N! I know that you might still be asleep, but i wanted to let you know that i’m having a birthday party which starts at around 4, and that you’re invited! I can’t wait to see you there. Even though it’ll be a small little party, i think you’ll REALLY enjoy it. Aone, Kaname, Futakuchi, and Sakunami will be there. I hope to see you there soon!” sent at 11:27 AM

As you read 11:27 AM your expression was covered in horror, but.. It could’ve been worse. For example, maybe it was sent at 9am and here you are just sitting on your ass, waking up at basically 2PM. You smiled a bit thinking of the scenario in your head, visualizing what you would act like if they actually happened. You quickly stopped yourself, though. something was a bit off in this text. You reread it at least 5 times to finally recognize what’s wrong with it. 

“uh kogane, you didn’t even give me the location” sent 2:07 PM

Sadly, you weren’t really the patient type and when 10 minutes had passed you started to get a bit antsy. Your leg was basically vibrating based off of how fast your foot was lighting tapping against the ground. 

Fuck it.

—————————

You were now furiously knocking on the door- at this point you don’t know if it was either knocking or punching it with the side of your fist. Like the idiot you were, you didn’t even try to use the door knob. When you were tired out from yelling and knocking on the door, that was the time when you decided to use it. 

And, it worked.

“Kogane! I’m coming in..” you slowly dragged out the n’s in the word “in” as if you were screaming “ready or not, here I come!” in a classic game of hide and seek. 

When you walked in, you could see streamers and balloons around the house, the little “Happy Birthday!” sign greeting you. Food was spread out in the kitchen, the dining room table was all set up with a birthday table cover and everything. You could clearly see the effort he put in based off of the mess he made in the living room. You could see the plastic bags the decorations must have came in when he bought them scattered around the living room. His house looked like a little kids birthday party, but in a good way. He really did go all out. The poor guy did this all by himself. You frowned at the thought, and then suddenly had a sly smirk on your face. 

You quickly took your shoes off and began to quietly walk around the house, wanting to surprise him and give him a big old innocent birthday hug. Now that the thought crossed your mind, you totally forgot to get him a birthday present while on the way here, but you didn’t know the party would be at his house- that could be your excuse. You nodded to yourself, agreeing with the thought. 

His home was oddly quiet, but you continued to walk around the house. Eventually, you came upon a door that was slightly opened and you peeked your head inside without hesitation. 

Koganegawa was slowly stroking his long, veiny cock with his right hand, his hips thrusting up into his fist every now and then. Some strands of his hair were stuck to the sides of his head due to the sweat that was forming on his body. The little groans he let out was causing your thighs to clench together, trying your hardest to not picture what he would look like between your legs. This dirty thought of yours caused you to let out a small moan, quickly slapping your hand against your mouth, hoping he didn’t hear. You slowly sat yourself on the ground, trying to even out your breaths since it was such a close call, but you were cut off when the door right beside you swung open. You screamed in surprise and fell on your back. You could clearly see Kogane’s unattended, throbbing cock against his boxers. Goddamn was it bigger up close.

“Uh.. Happy birthday?” you awkwardly announced, trying to break the cold, uncomfortable silence, waving both of your hands in a celebratory, jazz hands motion.

He grabbed your wrist, helping you off the ground and led you to his bed. He stood in front of you, hands on his hips staring at you, obviously expecting an answer. 

Instead of giving him an answer right away, you took this as a chance to admire the sight in front of you. His toned body was enough to make you drool, his abs glossed in sweat and goddamn.. his fucking thighs. They were pretty nice, not gonna lie, you smirked to yourself. Honestly, you wouldn’t mind if he just stood there all day. He should be put in a museum. Your eyes slowly went to his-

“Y/N! I’m still here! What were you doing outside of my door??” he yelled, hands out in front of him, expressing his question more through his movement. 

“Listen, I- You.. You didn’t answer my goddamn text!” you replied, your eyes darting to the other side of the room, trying your best to not make eye contact with him. “So i.. came to your house, and when you didn’t answer the door i just.. Walked right on in.” you were putting your best efforts to lighten the mood but it wasn’t exactly working as you hoped it would.

“Then you decided to watch me jack off my dick behind my door, too, right?”

“What else would i have been doing? fucking idiot..” your voice trailed off at the last part, not wanting him to hear. 

“Would you like to repeat what you said, Y/N?” he teasingly asked, cocking one of his eyebrows up. 

“Uh no, fuck off, yeah?” you attacked right back. You leaned forward, your elbow resting against your knee as your head rested in the palm of your hand. You stuck your tongue out at him like a child, waiting to see his reaction. 

He hummed in response, looking down at you with his arms crossed. “Y/N, are you even wearing anything under that?” You almost choked as you held in your laugh. I guess he was the idiot. 

“Yeah, I am. Do you think i’m stupid or something? I would never leave the house with no pants on. Bold of you to assume that.” his eyebrow was still in the same position as if he didn’t believe you. You stood up from the bed.

“Kogane, look” he tilted his head at you and you lifted your shirt up. He immediately looked away and you had to repeat yourself. “No, look at me, idiot! I’m wearing shorts, see?” he slowly turned his head towards you and he looked puzzled. This man is as stupid as an elementary schooler, you don’t know how he’s still alive by now. 

“So i’m guessing you have a birthday present for me?” he joked, but your mind clicked. It wasn’t your birthday hug idea, but something else. 

“Actually, yes, I do. Can you sit on the bed for me real quick?” he quickly sat on the bed, oblivious to what he’s getting himself into. 

You slowly got onto the bed and sat around him, your arms wrapping around his waist, your hands inching their way to his boxers.

“What are you-“ 

“You already know what i’m doing, it’s your birthday so just let it happen, okay?” he nodded with a gulp, and you continued your ministrations. 

Your left hand slowly lowered the boxers off of his legs, causing his dick to spring up against his stomach. He groaned at the feeling, which made you eager to continue even further. You didn’t expect for his dick to be so long. It was average girth but holy shit was it lengthy. Your right hand began to stroke his cock, slowly at first, immediately teasing the tip with your thumb, wiping the precum off and onto his shaft. Feeling him shiver against your body made your cheeks flush and had your right hand slightly shaking in excitement. He noticed this and took action by wrapping his large, rough hands against yours, guiding your hand up and down at a quicker pace than you had before. His moans were becoming more apparent and louder, signaling that he’s close to his release. Kogane’s hands never left yours as his grip tightened, going even faster. Feeling how eager he is to cum and just by watching him help you jack him off is making you even wetter than you were before. 

“God, Kogane you’re so goddamn cute..Feeling your hand against mine while you guide me to fuck your cock with my hand is so fucking hot..” you felt his cock twitch at your words and you smirked through your bright red cheeks, lowering your head against his dick and filling your mouth with his long cock. Kogane threw his head back in pleasure while pushing your head down against him, his cum filling your mouth, making you choke. You remain still, though, allowing him to wait out his release. 

He lifted your head up off of him and when he looked at you with his cum dripping down the sides of your mouth, he immediately became hard again. 

“Didn’t know you were that eag-“ you were cut off when Kogane grabbed you by the hips and threw you right under him. The way he towered over you made you want to cower under a blanket and hide, but at the same time it just turned you on even more. It was almost like a prey being hunted by predator scenario.

“Kogane what are you-“ the smirk on his face was like one you’ve never seen before.

“Oh, how the tables have turned.” the sly little dumb smirk he still had plastered on his face made you want to flick him upside the head, but realistically you couldn’t since you were vulnerable as all hell under him.

He didn’t hesitate whatsoever to pull your shirt off of you. Already, your shorts were gone and the same with your bra. You were lost- it was like a switch was flipped with him. You didn’t know he had a side like this to him. 

Kogane went up to your neck and purposefully breathed against your neck causing you to jump. He soon started to leave small, gentle bites on the same spot, letting him leave a long lick against it, hurriedly wanting to whisper against your ear something god knows what where he got it from. 

“I’m going to fuck you senseless until you learn who’s the boss around here, okay sweetheart?” chills were sent down your spine, your heart thumping in your chest, positive that he could hear it. Your cheeks were the brightest shade of red to the point it looks like a child got into their mom’s makeup. But, you didn't know if he watched some really hardcore porn or what, but did not know at al that he had that in him.

His two, long fingers were suddenly teasing your entrance, causing you to let out a small moan, but you acted quickly as you covered your mouth with your hand, not willing to give in to him. Not pleased with your actions, his fingers delved inside if you, pushing in and out of you at a rather quick pace, making sure to curl his fingers in all of the right spots. 

“Can you not hide your moans from me? Pretty Please?” he gave you those puppy dog eyes that you always hated. You shook your head. He shrugged in response and positioned himself against you, your eyes widening in shock. Before you could stop him, question him, or anything, he was already buried inside of you, letting out a loud grunt. 

“I’m going to fuck you really hard, Y/N. I know you like that. You like it when guys fuck you until you can’t walk, right?” he emphasized the last word by slamming his cock deep inside of you, straight towards your g-spot. You basically screamed by the intense feeling, and he only just started. 

“Finally opening up to me, pretty girl?” he pushed your legs up by your head and began to drill his cock into you nonstop. His tight grip on your hips was bound to leave a mark afterwards. The sound of his hips slapping against yours could’ve been enough to make you cum alone.

He pulled out of you and you glared at him.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry.. Come here.” he motioned his hands for you to come towards him. He led you towards the wall.

“Jump” you obliged and he pinned you against the wall, making sure to not waste time by quickly inserting his pulsing cock inside of you. 

“Fuck!” he looked at you, giving you a quick peck on the lips before he started to move inside of you. His thrusts began extremely slow, obviously teasing you. 

“You know what I want.” Kogane’s thrusts became even slower before they came to a stop.

“No, I don’t, i can’t read min-“ your snark remark was cut off as you were given a hard, rough slap on the ass. You looked at him, and he nodded as a signal to go on. You sighed.

“Fuck me.” You sarcastically said in a dull tone, making him annoyed on purpose.

“Come on.. you know you want to. Quit lying about it, Y/N!” he began to rub your clit with one of his fingers as he waited.

“I want you to fuck me till your hearts content. I want you to fuck my pussy until i beg you to stop so i want you to quit messing around and get on with it already!” a small whine was released at the end of your words, but Koganegawa seemed satisfied.

“Whatever you want..” He grinned, He pushed himself further against you, making sure you were well propped up against the wall, and began to thrust at a rapid pace, causing you to grab onto his shoulders to give you more support. 

“God fucking dammit you’re so tight..” your walls were clenching around him like a vice. His cock filled you up so well, but the fact that his dick was brushing against your cervix was throwing you off the edge. It was impossible to think that someone could fill you up so good, and so perfectly. 

“Fuck, fuck! Please don’t stop, Kanji! Right there, right there!” his cheeks flushed at hearing his first name slip past your lips. The pace that he is holding at the moment, you could basically say he was using you like a sex doll. He was like an animal in heat, he showed no signs of stopping whatsoever, and it didn’t help that you used his first name.

“Say it again, please.” he whines against your ear, his hot breaths driving you to the edge even more 

“Kanji!” you moaned, practically chanting his name. He loved the way you said his name. The way his cock thrusted in and out of you at such a quick pace while your cum was coated around it, was the second hottest thing next to Kogane. The way he moaned, the skin slapping against skin was too much.

“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum!” you screamed, but to your surprise Kogane kept on thrusting in and out of you, chasing his own release. You knew he wasn’t going to stop until he came.

“Kanji, please cum, I’m begging you Kanji! You fill me up so good, I love the way you fill me up is so perfect just like you baby-“ and that was it, that’s all that took.

“FUCK! Y/N I love you I love you!” he came inside of you, slowly moving his hips inside of you to ride out the overwhelming feel of pleasure. Your tongue was lolling out of your mouth at the overstimulation, and Kogane let out a small chuckle before carefully carrying you to his bed. 

“Where the hell did you learn all of that from, Kanji?” you said through heavy breaths.

Futakuchi leaned on the door.

“From me.” he pointed at himself with a proud smile before walking off.

[transsergio]

Emotions That I Simply Do Not Have (Read on AO3)

Chapter 1/3 - More Like A Relapse

Penemily + Hotchreid / Mature / 1893 words

Hotch and Emily have a drunken night together that Emily wants to forget, but Hotch can't let go. She and her girlfriend Penelope make a plan to get him out of their lives.

There's a brief paragraph describing Emily's dissociation in this chapter.

This started out as a parody of H*tchniss but then I got really into it. Hotch is pretty out of character and I'm picking on him this entire fic. There is no actual Hotchn*ss involved, which is why I didn't tag the ship, and because I don't need to fight with straight people today.

Emily’s head loathes her. She’s been hungover before, obviously, but this is something different altogether – she’s half-naked and her memory has completed ghosted her. There was tequila, she guesses, maybe vodka, shots, Hotch was going to give her a ride home because there’s something dangerous about a wasted agent wandering the city at night; snippets that don’t explain much beyond the ache hammering at the center of her skull.

At least Emily knows where she is. This is her apartment, her bedroom, her matted skin and grimy oils. The sheets reek of alcohol, so maybe she spilled some, or maybe it’s been sweat from her very pores. She’s missing a bra and she forgot to close the blinds last night. Only, she never forgets. It’s muscle memory. Did she…open them at some point?

The sink is running in the kitchen. And her toaster oven is beeping. Oh my god. She brought someone home last night. Hotch never would have left her in a cab with a stranger. How could Emily have picked someone up between the curb and her front door? She was a flirty drunk, but in no way smooth.

Emily moves on a slow incline, craning her body into an upright position. She winces. Sunlight beams directly into her eyes. It’s been a minute since she remembered exactly why she kept the windows covered. She pushes the duvet aside and swings her long, bare legs to the floor. They’re not bruised (yet), so she must’ve remembered to skip the stairs and go for the elevator this time. She’s tumbled down them before. Penelope made her promise she’d wear shin guards the next time she went out, Emily remembers, laughing under her breath.

Penelope, who definitely did not go home with Emily last night. She couldn’t have. She implemented a strict curfew after spending three consecutive nights in the batcave – bed by eleven, sharp. Unless Emily made a distress call sometime in the night. Emily scrunches the sheets between her fingers. A distress call, something like, “Come help me puke into my toilet for an hour and a half,” would bring Penelope running. Well, not running, but speed-walking, half awake. And it would be too late for Penelope to get home, with no one to text that she made it safely (except everyone else in the BAU, but that wasn’t the point). The point was, it could be her in there, popping Toaster Strudel in for the both of them.

Emily wobbles to her feet and kicks her crumpled slacks from her path. Oh, there’s her bra, launched to the other side of the room. She runs her fingers through her hair and hopes she made a difference, though it’s unlikely. Feet shuffle over her wooden floors, and someone opens and shuts the fridge door. Penelope uses fridges, coincidentally. That very well might be her.

There’s a cough, a low clearing of the throat. Emily stands upright like she’s been called to duty, and palms her forehead. Her headache makes it clear it did not like that. The cough does not sound like Penelope. Fear drains the strength from Emily’s limbs. Please, dear god, tell her that’s not a man.

Emily wants to crawl back into bed and have nothing to do with whoever’s in the other room. She wants to huddle under her covers and listen until the front door opens and shuts and it’s safe to emerge. She wants to have been sober last night. Instead, her phone vibrates on her dresser. Emily hadn’t realized that when it reverberates against the wood, her cell sounds exactly like a jackhammer, but she does now. She hears the same sound echoing in her kitchen.

Emily lunges for the text, from Garcia alerting them to a case, and slams all one hundred of those tiny Blackberry buttons to make it shut up, shut up, shut up. The bedroom door swings open.

“Two murders in Kentucky, looks like,” Hotch says. What? No.

Emily rubs her eyes with the backs of her hands. They come away streaked with dried mascara flakes and last night’s eyeshadow, but Hotch is still there. He’s standing in his boxers, a white undershirt, and five o’clock stubble. He doesn’t flinch at the fact that Emily is bare-chested in a pair of black boyshorts. This is bad. This is so bad.

Hotch says softly, “Can I…” Can he what? Can he call later tonight? Can he leave a toothbrush here? Can he have a drawer for his pajamas? “Can I get my shirt, please?”

“Oh.” Emily steps aside. His blue button-down is in a wrinkled pile beside Emily’s nightstand. Should she cover herself in the meantime? Would that make it weirder? He’s already seen what he’s seen, after all. The thought makes Emily gag.

“I’m going to get ready in your bathroom,” Hotch tells her. He makes too much eye contact. “There’s toast in the kitchen for you, if you want any.”

“Great, thanks.” Emily is tightlipped and dedicated to looking anywhere but his face. That leads to his boxers, and his dick inside his boxers, and the knowledge that they clearly had sex, and Emily might need the bathroom first if she didn’t vomit everything out last night.

Hotch disappears, and so does Emily’s presence in her physical body. She autopilots herself into her clean clothes, grips her dresser and stares into the mirror above it. C’mon, Emily, come back down to Earth. She tries what her therapist taught her in high school, focusing on a texture, on the feel of the woodgrain under her hands. How could she have come so far, a continent away, and still need the same techniques for the same problems? Hotch was an exercise in self-loathing and misery. Only this time, that exercise would be staring her down for extended periods of time while they mutually hunted killers.

Hotch reenters in the same suit he wore last night. Did he seriously have to wear a suit to the team’s night out? He couldn’t loosen up enough for a polo shirt and golf pants?

“Look, I understand if you don’t want to see me again in this capacity,” he starts. “But I had… a great time, honestly, and I’d be open to another meeting.”

Emily’s eyes are dead. “No, thanks.”

“You’ve decided already?”

“Yep. I’m good. See you on the jet.” Emily yanks the bedroom door open. His cue to leave. He takes it, if not wearing the look of a kicked puppy.

He makes it into a cab, and the cab leaves, and clears her block, and turns the corner. Emily stays for another five minutes just to be sure the car doesn’t loop back around, looking for a second chance. She washes her face clean and falls to her mattress. This will only take a second – she stabs her face into her pillow and screams. And one more time. And maybe a long one, just to be sure. Emily comes to work that day hoarse, unbathed, and willing herself into another life.

*

A month later, they’re gathered at Haley’s funeral. Hotch gives a beautiful speech, and Emily’s all but forgotten the number of texts she’s received since their hookup. The sheer volume of “Thinking about you.. do you like Thai food?” and simple, two-word messages like “Good work..”, alongside “Hey. Horny?” are a thing of the past, at least for today. Maybe not tomorrow. Emily doesn’t really know how grieving works. She does, however, know what it feels like to want.

She ushers Penelope into a storage closet while the rest of the team (plus Kevin) is at the funeral reception’s buffet. They’ll make up some story about going to the bathroom and try to defuse JJ later, assuring her that she wasn't left out intentionally. Right now, life is for living.

Emily’s lips move across Penelope’s jaw, her neck, her chest. She presses them to Penelope’s like she’s made of china, set on keeping Penelope’s lipstick intact. Penelope grips Emily while her own wrist is between her teeth to stifle her sound. Emily is gasping for breath when her fingers reach for the button of Penelope’s sweater. She is desperate to have her undone.

“Wait, wait,” Penelope huffs, putting an arm’s length of space between them. Her chest is heaving. “I can’t do this here, not today.”

“Today is why I want to do this,” Emily counters.

“We have time.” Penelope’s voice breaks. She fusses with her little hat and rights it atop her hair. “We have time that Haley didn’t –”

“How do we know?” Emily interrupts. “It could be me next. You’ve already been shot once before, and I just can’t… I can’t keep pretending I’m okay with you on the fringe of my life.”

Emily wipes a tear streaking down Penelope’s cheek. Before Penelope can reach for her compact, Emily passes her hers. She says, “I don’t mean we have to do anything right now in… what is ironically a closet,” Penelope laughs and dabs at her makeup, “but I want you. And seeing you with Kevin today, having to be next to you while he holds your hand? It’s maddening.”

A quiet passes. Penelope sniffles and the crowd outside makes somber conversation. Penelope whispers, “I’m scared.”

Emily closes the distance between them and cradles Penelope in her embrace. “I know; so am I. Can we be scared together?”

Penelope nods into the crook of Emily’s shoulder. They sway in the warmth of one another, in the cramped haven that is shelves of industrial cleaner and mop buckets.

“So what do we do?” Penelope asks. “Should I break up with Kevin, or tell him the truth? Neither option feels, uh, super-duper.”

Emily snorts some of the hat’s feathers from her nose. “If you want to be outed, I think telling Kevin he’s your beard is a great idea.”

“Stop. Kevin wouldn’t do that.”

“Penelope. He’s a man. He’s going to feel used, emasculated, and plenty bitter. I don’t see a reality in which he doesn’t out you.”

“I know, I know, but I don’t think Kevin’s like that. He’s sweet on me.” Penelope further buries herself in Emily. “On the off-chance that he would, though, I guess I’ll dump him.”

Emily hums in agreement. They keep themselves safe in their darkness a little longer, resistant to go out and face the mourning. Emily’s heart is busy fluttering, anyway. She and Penelope might remain a secret, but this is officially more than a hook-up. It’s all Emily could dream of when she stormed Penelope’s batcave the morning after Hotch. When she spun Penelope around in her desk chair and strung their mouths centimeters apart – a question and a dare all in one. Penelope leaned through the divide and they were kissing, slow and tender but driven by a force that urged them on. Emily had wanted Penelope for so long, but that morning, she needed her.

When they return to the team’s table, Kevin is at Penelope’s side. Emily puts her focus on Morgan, on caring about Hotch’s well-being, anything but Kevin’s soft, drooping face. It’s like his skin could slide right off at any second. No, Emily will ask what they can do, will let the team explain that their power extends to waiting Hotch out, will squeeze Penelope’s hand as they leave for their next case in Nashville.