#BUT. VIA THOSE VIDEOS I /DO/ KNOW WTF IS GOING ON

[watermel0ns-dumb-cringe]

I'm gonna be so fr i don't like SAW: Spiral

[paullovescomics]

Many moons ago, when (I think it was) the fifth season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer was airing on TV, I decided it might be fun to join some mailing lists dedicated to the show, so I'd have more people to talk about the show with. (Mailing lists were pre-social media vehicles for fandom, somewhere between USENET and MySpace; imagine a chain of comments on a Tumblr post, but it's sent to you in email.) It definitely let me talk to more people about a show that I loved, but it also taught me that online fandom can take just as easily as it gives. [SPOILERS if you're just starting to watch the show, i think it might be having a minor resurgence atm.]

It wasn't a terribly negative experience. I didn't get bullied or even have my ideas shit on. That season had the show's typical mystery of what's the deal with this season's Big Bad and how are Buffy and the Scoobies going to defeat them, but it also had the mystery of Buffy's previously unseen sister, Dawn. Where did she come from? Howcome all the characters act like she's been there all along when she totally hasn't been? Et cetera, et cetera, et wtf.

There had been cryptic hints dropped in the previous season (Little Miss Muffet, counting down from 7-3-0), but they were very cryptic. Babylon 5 had concluded not too long ago, and HBO's mainstreaming of the "tv show as novel" concept had not quite kicked into gear yet, so nerdy fannish brains were hungry for a well-planned-out tv narrative to sink their teeth into. This mailing list was full of speculation, sometimes based on those aforementioned hints, sometimes based on the bits of Latin and German text seen in the opening credits (the show is full of mystical tomes), to all those sorts of background details and clever quips that supposedly have hidden meanings. You know how it can get.

Of course I had my own theories, which I do not remember. That's suspiciously convenient, because I do remember that they were wrong. (Good job, super ego. You saved me from an embarrassing memory for once. That doesn't mean we're okay about all the other stuff.) Whatever my wrong predictions were, it really bugged me when they turned out to be wrong. And before they were proved to be wrong, it also bugged me when I would watch the show and someone else's theory, usually one I didn't like so much, would pop into my head. Oh, that one character did that thing that supposedly proves that such-and-such will happen. There was a mention of that so-called clue that means Dawn will turn out to be whatever annoying thing that one poster said that I didn't like. My pet theory being wrong was just the stink on top of the turd pie.

So at the end of that season, I thought, this deeper involvement in fandom has made the show less fun to watch. And that sucked, because I really liked that show. I'd found it at the beginning, and my enjoyment of it had grown from a very simplistic "hey, there's an attractive lady kicking vampires" to a real appreciation of all the character growth and the good acting and the smart metaphors and the playing with tropes, all the stuff that makes a tv show good. And one of my best friends had recently gotten into the show, though they were still catching up via my obsessive video taping (a lost art, folks). All that enjoyment was diminished, if only a bit, by my participation is a particular aspect of fandom. I unsubbed from the mailing lists and decided I wouldn't go down that path again.

Obviously, I didn't completely give up on online fandom, because here I am. But I have tried to be much more careful in how I engage with that fandom. Speculation isn't for me. It might be for you. Digging into behind-the-scenes details, and examining statements that creators have made about a story is not for me. It might be for you. What is for me is finding those stories--whatever medium they may be told in--that appeal to me, taking them in, letting myself get lost in the details that catch my attention, talking about those things with friends, and occasionally posting something here. Similar vibes seem to attract each other here. Most of the interaction is just a like, which I can interpret as appreciation for the thing that I enjoy or maybe my rambling about it, and that's nice. When folks do reply with more than a like, it's almost always thoughtful and written in a chill, conversational way.

I reckon the moral is, it's worthwhile to notice how your interaction with fandom affects your enjoyment of the art that brought you there in the first place, and it can be helpful to tailor that interaction so that you get the most positive and the least negative out of it.

[ingravinoveritas]

Why is Anna suddenly coming out with new headshot photos on the day of the good omens trailer release? Girl your desperation for attention is showing immensely if you think choosing to post on today of all days will make anyone forget about the husbands and focus on you instead. Also, wtf re: Georgias insta stories? One question; WHY? Another question; Why are you always talking about and thinking about vaginas and penis’s?? Why do these two always have to be competing for attention whenever the boys have anything? Why can’t they just be normal partners and be supportive without trying to undercut them?

Holy wow, okay...my inbox blew up. Yes indeed, lots of goings on today, most notably the amazing GO 2 trailer, which I've watched several times and has filled my heart with unbridled homosexual glee.

As for the rest of today's happenings, well...oof. First off, for those who haven't seen, let's get the visuals up, starting with AL's new headshots that she posted and Georgia calling her Barbie:

And here is the video/screenshots from Georgia's Insta stories:

...Quite a bit to unpack here, it seems. In terms of AL's headshots, some of you mentioned this (as have other folks who DMed me privately about them), and I agree that they were purposely posted on the same day as the GO 2 trailer release. It's just flagrantly transparent at this point, given the number of times this has happened with previous GO 2 news, and so yes, I do think Anna was trying to capitalize on the news stories and social media chatter around GO 2 to bring attention to herself.

That being said...I'm really not sure who told her that these were good head shots, but they were not at all being honest. The lighting is terrible, her hair looks dull, and the pictures for whatever reason seem...flat, to me. There's no life in them, no spark, which is not helped by her seemingly vacant expression. (Why is her mouth hanging open in disgust in the first picture? Why is she staring into the abyss in the second? I'm so confused...) The pictures are reminiscent of a photo shoot she did last year that inexplicably involved sitting on a radiator while she was pregnant, and the common thread between the two seems to be that either the photographers did not give her good directions, or she just doesn't know how to "relate" to the camera, which...is probably not a good thing, given her chosen profession of acting.

But what really was striking to me was the caption on this new post. The disingenuous tone of "I will admit, not the biggest fan of having pictures taken" coupled with the fact that these pictures were deliberately posted on the day of the GO 2 trailer release makes it seem like she is fishing for compliments/praise. Add to that Georgia sharing the post and referring to AL as "my very own Barbie" (which comes across as incredibly fake) and it becomes clear that this was again coordinated, this time not only to gain attention via the GO 2 trailer, but also Staged 3's impending release on the BBC.

Which then brings us to Georgia's Insta stories. Lord help me, I don't even know where to start. Well, it's been brought to my attention that "Would you rather" is a game, one that is often played on long car rides/road trips and used by parents to entertain restless children. I don't think I ever played it myself as a kid, but the basic gist seems easy enough to understand. What's less easy for me to understand, however, is (as several of you pointed out) Georgia using said game to talk about penises and vaginas.

I'm the first one to acknowledge that I talk about sex a lot. It's part of the work that I do as an autism sexuality advocate, and I'm all in favor of using correct anatomical terms and teaching people about human sexuality/development, and therefore not at all one to begrudge someone talking about genitalia. But with Georgia's stories, I get the sense that she is doing it for shock value more than anything else...and when you talk about penises/vaginas as much as she does, after a while it starts to come across as crass instead of shocking.

By her own admission, Georgia has said she needs content, and so logically, talking about something spicy would be a good way to drum up engagement/generate content. Yet I couldn't help thinking of the fact that Georgia has numerous trans and/or gender non-conforming followers, and given the current climate around transgender issues in the UK (and US)--especially things like "bathroom checks" and the despicable obsession GCs have with trans people's genitals--her stories just edge too close to something unsettling for me. I'm not saying this was necessarily intentional on Georgia's part, but the fact that she then shared people's responses without knowing (or caring) whether people were okay with it made it even weirder and more disquieting.

Both Georgia and AL posted the trailer to their Insta stories after posting the things above, and again this seems calculated because then you have to view the stories about them before getting to the GO 2 trailer. But as @phantomstars24 said, the focus was swiftly pulled off of them (rightfully so) once that trailer was out. They absolutely could have chosen to depict themselves as supportive partners, but chose to come across as opportunistic and self-serving instead. I can't begin to fathom why, but...there it is.

So yes, there was quite a bizarre incongruity between what was happening on Instagram vs. Twitter/Tumblr today, and the fact that it came from Michael and David's own partners makes it even stranger. I'm sure Georgia and AL have been tapped to help with the promotion for GO 2 (and Staged 3), but it really does seem like they missed the mark here. Cringe for days...

[just-a-pole-sir]

So your old account got deleted because two fitness models copyright striked you? Wtf do they go online searching for people that make gifs of them? Do they have people for that? That’s crazy!

So your old account got deleted because two fitness models copyright striked you?

Yes, but actually, I got 3 copyright strikes. (Their rule is 3 strikes in less than 18 months = account termination.)

Got one for 2 LC posts and another one for a FN post. And got also one for my "top 10 2022 posts" so I don't know what triggered it on that post. Could be Levi or Narad or someone else.

Wtf do they go online searching for people that make gifs of them? Do they have people for that? That’s crazy!

They use apps that do all the work for them, tracking their content and sending DMCA requests automatically. And they got monthly reports with how many pictures and videos have been taken down.

And like I already said, I only posted pictures and gifs made from their content everyone could see for free on insta, twitter and tiktok. Thought I was making free publicity for the content they charge, but they don't see it that way...

Another thing is that I had no idea I already had 2 warnings, as they were sent via emails. Like I'd read the dozens of emails Tumblr sends me every day on an email account I never check... Tumblr really should notify those warnings on their app.

[murfpersonalblog]

I've been seeing posts about IWTV's pisspoor ratings all season long. I don't use social media other than Youtube & Tumblr, so IDK what goes on elsewhere, but on Tumblr IWTV trends in the Top 3 every week, going head to head with HotD & Dr Who; and way more people are reacting to it on Youtube, too.

Word of mouth is powerful; I talk to fans IRL all the time. I got a few of my friends to watch it, and I've gone to conventions & bought fanmade AMC!Loustat merch from BOOK fans who love this show. So I know people are out there tryna get the word out, grassroots.

But clearly more work needs to be done, if ratings are tanking. And I feel like AMC's the one shooting themselves in the foot. Cuz we're out here putting in the work. But wtf does AMC expect, when its streaming platform is darn near irrelevant, and even the availability of this show is some of the worst I've ever seen. It makes NO sense how people in the UK don't get IWTV for MONTHS after the season ENDS, when darn near half the cast is BRITISH! Their own people can't even watch the show! Thank god the Australians have it, otherwise a large chunk of the non-USA fans actively promoting this show via gifs & metas & videos & clips wouldn't even be able to see it AT ALL! 🏴‍☠️ Making niche shows accessible ONLY on niche streaming services/channels will KILL IT faster than anything else! IDKY why AMC hasn't partnered with Netflix or something, so way more people have easier availability & don't need to sail the seven seas with VPNs & crap just to watch one show FFS! Prestige can only take you so far if no one knows your show exists; and the ones who do can't even watch it legally!

I'm well past 30, and most of the reactors I watch are 30+ too. But bless the CW crowd; they're the goats who carried Destiel for 50billion seasons even when its queerbaiting smacked the dogsnot out of everyone; and let Twilight put vampires back on the map. But just cuz they're "young and female" doesn't mean they can't handle or be attracted to more mature stories, stronger language, and far gorier fantasy horror--look at True Blood. The difference is that unlike AMC, HBO knew how to promote its show extremely well. Cuz shocker: SEX SELLS.

AMC has a golden nugget--nay, a DIAMOND--that is THE Helen of Troy of vampires, the beautiful Louis de Pointe du Lac, who has powerful, gorgeous vampires frothing at the mouth for a mere CRUMB of his attention. And THIS is what we get:

AMC, trust me, I GET IT, you're leaning into the vintage-noir theatricality of the Theatre des Vampires, but the world's your oyster!

I swore to my friends on a stack of bibles that IWTV was good and they should watch it, going on & on about the acting & costumes & writing, only to be met with crickets until I said: Oh yeah, the MCs are 🌈 hot gay guys who have naked hot gay sex 🌈 in like the first 30 minutes. Chile, when I tell you those degenerates went RUNNING to check it out! 😅

Like, WTF Is AMC doing for PRIDE?! Assad's flawless boobs should be COVERED in blood!

This is another problem of accessibility, but this time about the LORE. IWTV is not a show you can really watch with your brain turned off. You don't HAVE to read the books--some would even argue that you SHOULDN'T, cuz AMC's changed a lot of the storybeats. But how cool would it be if AMC sold audiobooks with the actors doing the voice work? For all the effups Netflix had with The Witcher, people gobbled up Henry Cavill reading excerpts of Andrzej Sapkowski's books. AMC keeps bragging about Sam & Assad reading all the books--SHOW US, then! Sit those nerds down with TVL & TVA or AR's Alphabettery and and have them go awf!

Really funny to see this headline in my news feed after my dash has been dominated by this show against my will for weeks. Tumblr experience is not universal etc

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOO per your post abt tiktok I had no idea that was a thing but I’ve never seen any acc that would be you come up as a suggested account (I rarely get them anyways but when I do it’s usually like some acquaintance of sorts) so from my end youre safe o7

PLEASSEEEE “is it home wrecking if the homes already wrecked” GOODBYE

Niko having to put up with aikus shenanigans is so funny he’s taking one for the team

REAL miraverse reo>>> peregrine getting revamped into “reo is friendless” LOL

UAHAHAHA NO DW YOURE GOOD!! I have not once seen an acc that resembles anything close to what I would imagine to be you (??) no Miras or any accounts with names similar to Mira either I just see the original tiktok and whoever posted it like usual YOURE SAFE but AWEESJHS IM HONORED LMAO but there’s definitely nothing immediate that shows indicating you sent it or anything so I think you should be all good!! Even after looking through all the links you’ve shown in our convo too I’ve never had anything pop up and I doom scroll there soooo Also lowk I can’t remember how many you’ve linked outside of our convo but tbh idk how many people are reading through like the 100k words worth of convo we have so for the TikTok’s you’ve shown me you’re also probably fine

LMAOO I think I need to go recalibrate my fyp and get some yona on there omg

OAEU TIME LETS GOOOO but FR im sure inspo will strike for the req soon! Maybe you’ll get ideas while you’re writing oaeu LOL

LMAOOOO FRR THEYRE SO FUNNY I think its esp funny to think abt bc bllk is canonically live-streamed so imagine in their free time egos like “ok so bc that money grabbing tanuki needs more money yall gotta be streamers and gamers now get on YouTube”

NO FRRR I LAUGHED SO HARD I was trying to figure out wtf that was in zantetsus aura the fucking bullet train has me crying Nagi looking gorgeous and I always appreciate those villainous Karasu panels!!

- Karasu anon

OKAY YAYYY it’s only happened a couple of times for me with people on tumblr like once an anon sent a vid to me and i got the “___ shared a video with you” so i guess they might have seen me?? and just earlier i sent a video to one of my mutuals in an ask and i got a notification saying “___ viewed the video you sent” so they also might have seen my acct which ugh but at least it’s only two people 😰

LMAOO karasu is just helping natural processes along he’s not actually doing anything problematic 😩 the relationship already sucked it’s not like he’s being a bad person (not that aiku cares he’s just excited to pass along his wisdom because nobody but niko even listens to him and niko has 0 interest in getting girls so he’s alone on that front until karasu comes up to him) okay i think the aiku and niko dynamic in the oaeu might kind of be like miraverse tabiori?? like goofy siblings/slight father son vibes…i think it’s what makes the most sense for them HAHAH

half of the high school era in peregrine is just reo being like pleaseee be my friend pleaseeee like in the next chapter which i haven’t finished yet it’s revealed that reo is straight up trying to buy reader’s friendship LMAOAOA he does eventually win her over obviously but it’s not via monetary means 😭 but fr ironically (considering how she doesn’t want to be close to reo because her parents want her to marry him) reo is like the longest consistent relationship reader has in her entire life FJSKDJSH they’re like lowkey also soulmates…the funniest thing is if reader’s parents hadn’t pushed her to marry him to the point that she despised the idea they actually might’ve gotten together 😓 self sabotage on the l/n parents’ part at its finest

HELP OKAY GOOD my irl name is not actually mira but it’s uncommon enough that i wanted to come up w a pseudonym for online in case anyone i know irl found this acct…it’s pretty similar to mira so if it had come up you def would’ve been like “oh yeah this is her” JDFJSJ so that’s good 🙂‍↕️ and OFCCC i’ve become insta friends w a couple of my mutuals from tumblr once i’ve known them for a while 🤩 my rule is if we’ve been talking for enough that i feel like we would be friends irl you can get the irl socials HAHA…also very true…i think outside of our convos i posted that snuffy edit once?? and then the aforementioned tt that i sent to my mutual but otherwise yeah i don’t link too many if it’s not just between us

HAHA if you ever need shinah edits let me know i probably have every single one saved i will happily send my favs (i also have some of the other characters but shinah def has the most because…well it’s SHINAH)

i’ve been like lying on my couch all day doing nothing so no writing done unfortunately but trust i will be back at it and something should be out reasonably soon!! whether it’s a req or oaeu i cannot say but something for sure 🤩

LMAOO the bllkers (except reo because he’s rich 🤑) have to pick up side gigs in order to fund the project…barou starts a cleaning service…yuki and chigiri get into modeling…nagi becomes a streamer but people only follow because he’s hot so he has to do insane fan service in every stream…hiori starts a reaction video youtube channel and gets rin to guest star and they go mega viral because rin consistently says out of pocket bs plus they’re both pretty (rin accidentally gets sae cancelled for a week by saying smth crazy before revealing he’s related to sae)…otoya convinces karasu to become a scammer/find sugar mommies with him…it would be insane LMAOAOAO

I WAS SO CONFUSED AT FIRST AND THEN I WAS LIKE OMFG IT’S A TRAIN!! ig it fits w his backstory where he learned he was fast because he always missed the train???? LMAOAO honestly he’s such an unreal character i love him 😭 and yesss epinagi nagi is always STUNNING but they rlly put the focus on karasu and kiyora this time around like kiyora looked ADORABLE this chapter and karasu looks like a genuine villain but in a fine way 🤩 i can’t help but admit that idgaf abt himizu though like i kinda find him weird (the whole tongue thing is just. uh??? interesting??) and i’m worried abt what he’s foreshadowing w chigiri 😰

[flyingcookierambles]

So in case graduations happen again soon, I looked up PLs on the niji sub which has gone basically rogue and is actively discussing PL. I followed RZ's PL, which I was like. Holy hell, 1 million subs. All the comments joking about RZ being his side hustle or a side quest and RZ was a big animation storytime youtube joke make sense now. Brooooo what are you doing in niji.

EA's PL was surprising. I didn't follow her previously, but I was more active in the vocaloid fandom and the vocaloid song English fan dub circles when I was younger. I watched some of EA/Shannon's videos and in hee comments are other singers I know and follow like JubyPhonic and rachie! From like 5 years ago! Crazy. I want to try to rewatch some old YouTube utaite chorus collab projects and see if I spot Shannon. It's so weird to think they I may have seen her years ago become she became a vtuber/ EA and didn't even realize.

For FO, I actually know and still follow his personal danmei reviewing twitter which he has since privated and his still public old vtuber PL. my friend who is more into danmei and manhua that me actually recommended his older twt and youtube channel to me. Then like 2 months later he privated his stuff and left and then FO debuted lol. My friend who knew him longer immediately recognized his voice in his debuted stream lol.

Edit 2/13 - that public explanation steam on EP's yt....oof. wtf. That only made things worse guys. These are the worst lawyers with the worst advice I swear wtf is even going on anymore....??

I think im following PG's past life acc on twitter and I don't even know why. I'm not subscribed to her old YouTube account where she did utaite type music. I'm just baffled. I just say that her old twitter is locked but I'm somehow following her and I can't even remember why. Lol.

Anyways saw some funny posts on a certain fruit farm website about SB falling his death a second time to get out of this situation. And I'm just like. A second time???

Turns out he is/was a legendary tf2 player Pyro main. It sounds like he had a video game addiction or something that was really ruining his life and/or he got burnout playing tf2. So he decided to fake his death so he could return to school or something. Like. OK, congrats on the therapy and college completion or whatever, but like you couldn't just have a normal hiatus post????? he like vaguely mentioned in his final stream that he had a terminal illness and then just stopped streaming for 5 years, so everyone thought he died. Like, on one hand, I and many other commentators seem to think it's a bit funny and totally ridiculous. I guess that only learning that this is a hoax years after and also not being tf2 fans/his fans helps make this like a weird prank to outsiders. On the other hand, faking a terminal illness and your death is really stupid and insensitive to people who actually have those issues. Plus to his old fans who knew him for many years who respected and trusted him, that's gotta hurt bad. Like. Bro what. SB unprivated his old YouTube videos though, I'm curious to see the highlight reel of supposedly the world's best tf2 player, even tho as a person who doesn't play fps or moba or tf2, I don't really understand how much skill it takes to do his playstyle, so I might not appreciate it as much as it is.

Anyways kusosanji has shit pr and lawyer team, but their talent scouts/audition people knew how to pick them very well. Like one of the top apex players and tf2 players, multiple musicians and comedians, etc. All these extremely talented peoples' past present and future careers being totally ruined by a company that doesn't care about them and their wellbeing at all. Even if they tried to leave via terminations (shout out to SY liking a company critical comment and then outting "returning soon" message on her pl youtube) and return to their past life, people have lost trust in them due to kusosanji (or due to already existing past life drama like above with SB). If they tried to make a new indie vtuber account they would be starting from 0 and even then if people match up their voices or life story details from some off hand comment during a zatsu, it'll be over for them again, back to 0 and having to reincarnate. Just a waste of potential, it's sad for all livers involved. Incredibly cowardly to have the public facing employees who have the mpst to lose take the worst of the harassment while the neglectful and abusive managers and rich ceo and investors can stay safe and anonymous and in a totally different country. I hope no poor indie vtuber decides to audition for any new en waves, which I doubt they'll even do anymore going forward. Being forced into a black company sounds awful. Comments online theorize that at this point, the investors and so management are seeing this workplace culture clash and deciding to deliberately sabotage the remaining EN branch so they have an excuse to merge it to the main branch and gradually dissolve/graduate/fire everyone like for the OG EN (india) KR and ID.

Edit edit: yeah.....even if the whole rrat / great unifying rat king theory from 4chan is true, that still really only means that like 5 people of a clique are bullies, plus mayyybeee AA?? But like really, other than those 6 people, like there's still the 25 other people (who as far as we know) are not bullies or even involved in this, that really were just trying to grow their career and make friends in a new place. They couldn't have known about the massive apocashitstorm pr disaster that was coming up. I feel so bad for the new kids Krisis and TTT too...like.. holy crap they JUST got there....

*insert meme that Vivi is the unluckiest new member*

Just because the management is bad and maybe 6 people are guilty of bullying, all 25 other innocent incredibly talented people are being dragged into this. It's just awful.... :(

I want so support them, they're unlucky innocent bystanders in this I think, but not as they are right now. Still not exactly normal vtuber etiquette, but this whole situation is totally abnormal, but I'll just find their pl youtube or twitch accounts and follow them there, patiently awaiting if/when they return to those accounts. People on reddit are all saying like "I hope my oshi graduates/gets fired" and that might literally be a better ending for them right now. So weird.....

Edit edit edit: oof yeah. Again, as an outsider to SB's pl and the tf2 moba fps genre community, plus 7 years have passed, I have some forgiveness towards him for the fake death thing that i can understand his older OG fans may not have. Still, it sounds like he talked about his past in a zatsu. He legit had a video game addiction and ended up homeless and jobless. I can understand toa degree why he had to make his hiatus/break from tf2 and video games in general so final so that he would not be tempted to play it again. Still, just an extreme decision to fake an illness and death instead of just admitting you want to go to college and not be living in japanese net cafes and the streets.

[realhotdweebshit]

finally read (via audio) "And Then There Were None" by Agatha Christie

-so my narrator was Dan Stevens of what should be Downton Abbey fame, but unfortunately is of live action 2017 Beauty and the Beast fame to me and he actually really bodied the narration. His vocal choices were remarkably distinct and consistent. Even if he technically muddled his dialects, he clearly had a vivid enough grasp of where our concentration should go that the dialect choices felt consistent (idk if that makes sense)

-so I'm really gagged that this book was published Ten Little N!!ggers. Like super fucking gagged by that

-like this is one of the bestselling novels of all time and yet we're never having this conversation ??? I feel like we're never having this conversation

-and surely we are, right? Surely we surely we surely we fucking are because oh my GoD?!?

-the way I was JUMPSCARED by n!!ggers in the HASHTAGS of the BOOTLEG of the SOUNDCLOUD AUDIO

-but oh my God great book. Like duh obviously it's good but it really smacks

-like even knowing that it was published TEN LITTLE N!!!!gGERS I want to read every Agatha Christie mystery. Wtf is that

-and because I'm despicable I want to write a video essay about this even though the one I'm supposed to be writing is due to turn 2 years unfinished in june

-but definitely about art vs artist, guilt, living revolutionary lives but still consuming work that's got racist roots, what it is like holding those feelings

-see tiktok drafts (that's a note just for me)

-but Agatha did her big one. Like it's so good. Can't wait to marinate on it for more days

-like how did I not know this. I lived in cities all my life. Attended public and private school. Like Agatha Christie is so famous

-i've never even heard of other people's English classes talking about this? Do people not teach it because of this?

-it was so good though...chilling

-the narrative convention with the full names was so good

[lonespektr]

OCTOBER 22 & 23 HORROR WATCH

Make ups

Red Rose 1x1, 1x2, 1x3

Smart House dependent can't turn on her own lights by hand

As soon as her mom comes home she jumps???

Apparently they sign shirts over there

One brown person nobody likes ... Alright

Everyone got an invite to Beckys except this one

Whop turns out becks is being nice she didn't invite her because there's a cover charge and she knows she po

Lol where is the music coming from???

Our protag has wandered away from the party and been linked - via becks

A vid/game!!!

Of red rose

Masquerading as a beauty filter app

This guy old enough to play a dad now??

The other one they all hate is south asian

And apparently the gonnies aren't cool

This is what's wrong with children these days

It's targeting lonely people that's pretty foul

Hanging out in the graveyard ...with???

Those meter things in the UK for electricity are predatory as shit as soon as the power goes out the phone bugs her this like big data

And boom three wishes the power comes back on

Do they like a drain on society???? 🧐🧐

Do they look like they want to speak to the manager???

Not climate change 🤣🤣

Lol wtf

It told her build a fire

It's recording and accessing her apps

Here it is again they keep showing the kids of ghost of themselves

The kids appear to be fighting about literally nothing

Oh that's her mom

Figured that was her dad because the other dad was also mid thirties

All them little friends is broke but i guess shes food stamp pantry broke

The other one was rich so why target her

She's not wondering why the phone knows ger friends name

OH SHIT

She declined to do a thing the phone told her to do it hacked the tv and put up shame video standing in the food pantry line

And it's been texting her friends and sending her fake texts

Wild

Phone to her to kiss the guy her friend was seeing and that's on the tv now??

Ohhh now it's sending live vids of her little sisters she left at home

She told each twin they are in charge of the other one , which if they are both responsible girls is smart 🤣🤣

1x2

The lights are out at the house again what happened to that 100$ credit??

Can't believe Americans don't have that shit system

The girls are safe but they were hiding in the cubbord

They said someone was in the garden

The electronics are going in and out but she doesn't have a smart house so the phone can't do that

The phone keeps showing her her dead mom in partial silhouette haunting the house

She deletes the app

Mental illness/suicide

The app obvs did not delete

Gross now the phone is using her dead moms voice

Absolutely foul

This is just abject cruelty

She used her common sense and didn't message her she wrote a letter

They may but they are so shit at communicating thru didn't resolve anything

Literally no reason to carry the phone though

Okay well she wanted to show her the thing but before and afterwards you should have taken the battery out

Twins and dad are off to visit family

Unclear why dark black hair hates new guy

It's just random children stuff as soon as the two indian kids made a decent joke they are now legit

Apparently

Mam are you googling exorcisms on the posessed phone?

Church got bose blue tooth surround sound

Phone does not want to be exercised and something is sneaking up behind her (in the camera)

Keep throwing holy water at it

It stopped.

The kids have crowd sourced that the phone is the common denominator and new south adian kid says it doesn't really matter if it's not real because she's having a shit go

Dude they saw the phone deconstructed on the floor right???

Then they are saying she posted something

The phone is on the floor ??? The windows open

One kick

It's a flimsy lock

You could say it's cause their house is shitty but it could also be cause they already had to break that door down once

folks remember that suicides and family deaths is an increased high risk for suicide of their loved ones

That is a cheap ass casket they are dirt poor or the UK regular folk do not bury dead like the US

That was short of a pine box by two gold handles and some laquer

Sis don't download it baby

Bro you hiding behind the closet

AI hacker stalker

How he not see it, it was right there???

Panopticon see 👀👀👀

Now other apps are doing stuff WTF???

The overarching thing is poverty and not great parents or unavailable parents due to poverty

They all jumped to ghosts instead of just a hacker

She's

[37-children-of-the-dreams]

Damn, give Chase and Sophia an asylum sounds like an insult. At least in my language it is an insult and swearing words.

Also, about your fic, I wanted to say, but forgot, that it seemed like you tried to give an almost direct hint that Miss Maybell, or it was Lucille, I was sometimes mistaken them, was kinda in relationship with Hargrave, and she stayed at Avon's side, and Hargrave went with Klipse. Am I right, or I mistaken?

And I here saw one local dude made review video about monsunos, and it was second season, and he kinda showed sketch, where one scientist showing new dudes their best workers - Klipse and Jeredy, who are crazy scientist who are doing mad scientific things, and others just looking at it with wtf face, and the one who showed them is proud of that. And thats exacly how I imagine these two at work, haha) actually, in flashbacks, Klipse looks very calm, like really, even more like that always calm person with sweet character. But we know that he gone mad, even if it's just sometimes pops off. Cause when he's at work or home, we saw he's calm and even Dom is fine and not annoying him. So, what if Klipse just couldnt get over the fact that Jeredy didnt go with him, so went mad, but not fully, but as a thing that sometimes comes as attack or something.

Oh anon, I think I forgot to clarify. When I meant Avon would give them asylum, I meant political asylum as in ‘Avon is giving Chase and Sophia refuge and sheltering them from Klipse and Jeredy’ as political asylum means a country is giving someone or a group of people the right to live in their country of choice and given protection from persecution from their original government or country. I don’t know what nationality Chase and Sophia are, but given that they are the family members of a country’s sovereign and her heirs to the throne via Six, Avon would grant them political asylum to get them away from Jeredy and Klipse if they wanted to. And really, Chase could just ask Six to either ask Eira or Avon, or even ask Braille, if they can grant them asylum and those guys would actually give to them.

As for the person in the fanfic, it’s Miss Maybell. I wanted her and Hargrave to have some sort of history with each other as either a former good friend or as a what-if partner. This was because the show never explained how Hargrave got to be Klipse’s butler so I had the idea that Hargrave used to be a part of the Avon-Klipse household as their joint butler that was given to them from the royal family when they got married, but when he was working for the royals, Maybell was also employed at the same time and they had gotten close to each other before everything went downhill.

Yeah, idk what made Klipse go crazy since he was rather calm in some flashbacks and even calm when he’s dealing with people like Dom, but I guess it’s because of Jeredy that Klipse is just so unhappy that he went crazy. He has this act of being a scorned lover type of guy that’s willing to destroy his former love interest because he couldn’t have them due to various factors while also acting all cool, calm and collected in front of everyone so that they don’t know he’s wanting to kill someone who rejected him and then goes off with hurting his competition….

Klipse is a yandere. Anon, I think Klipse is actually a yandere. Not an extreme psycho crazy yandere, but like enough that he psychologically tortures his victims over one person type of yandere. Can someone tell me if that’s accurate or something? I’m genuinely curious about Klipse’s status as a yandere now.

[majorshatterandhare]

I too have morals that do not align with most people around me, seemingly in a similar way to you. I think an “equal playing field” of morals makes sense for Brian because wtf is he and how does he fit into the world.

*I think* Brian can kill on MjE so long as he doesn’t think killing is immoral. However that would also mean that being a murderer wouldn’t make someone kill worthy. I think on MjE doing nothing is never worse than doing something immoral, because the Means justify the Ends; his means have to be moral on their own and whatever results is justified by his moral means. If his means are immoral he can’t do it, on MjE.

He was alone in space then he was alone in the sun then he was alone in space again. Give that man a companion!

(I wish I had the materials to make this. As in, I’m not great at drawing but realizing something in a 3D art format always feels more accessible to me and I wish I had the stuff to make that happen. Brian hung by the rose growing out of his body.)

Yes! I had the Brian Delivery Crimes idea! Because of stork scissors! I think part of him knows it wasn’t his fault but part of him is like “I’m a computer I shouldn’t been able to foresee an plan for this to go wrong. I literally get prophecies, I should’ve *actually* foreseen this” meanwhile he has absolutely zero control over the prophecies. And also like, I think he knows the facts but doesn’t *remember* being the doctor and that makes it a lot harder. Maybe he encountered that exact issue before but that’s not him anymore!

The fact that he will not die makes the hanging such a weird punishment. I read that the way the Hanged Man of the Rider-Waite deck is hanged was used in Italy for a bit and that they would continue to feed them until the died, however it seemed dubious. But Brian won’t die. He’ll just keep hanging. When is a life sentence over? If you never die the sentence is forever? People have the capacity to change. But also A) he’s a silicon computer robot, does he have the capacity to change (whether or not there is anything for him to change since he probably didn’t do anything wrong anyway) and B) if he cannot die is he even alive? If he’s not alive he cannot serve a life sentence.

His crime could’ve easily also been some sort of treason by way of not doing something which was immoral. That probably makes the most sense.

Also, the song The Ends and the Means by Robby Hecht has a Jesus-like character at the end. [lyric video link]

Those (Anglo-Saxon) beads would be perfect for this I think!

The idea that his heart is just in there, uncovered, and easily accessible in his chest… he’s gonna get an infection. I love the idea of the flowers growing directly around his heart, but putting a rose that climbs via its long prickles in your chest cavity, next to your precious meat heart (which is the only part of you thats you. Maybe. Probably. If any of you is you, that is) for god knows how long is not a very good idea. He must’ve been incredibly desperate not to be alone jesus christ.

(Something about not being able to feel god and not having disciples)

I did not think about the color popping in the environment but you’re right that it totally would. Also, while red roses coming out of a metal jesus man could be seen as symbolic of blood (which would be rad as fuck) white is often symbolic of purity, which Jesus is (if you dont consider the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, which is considered heresy and in which Jesus murders multiple other kids) but Brian *is not*. Plus there’s presumably some amount of black oil in him which may get on the white roses, showing his fucking impurity *jesus christ im going insane*. While I think plenty of flowers may be unstained, I think the ones stained with the oil that is his bodily fluid mean something.

please consider: Galahad always carrying around rosary beads/prayer beads that carry the image of Merlin, The Hanged Man in the style of a saint or of a crucifix. Also he handmade the entire thing of beads btw.

[whysojiminimnida]

ONCE MORE FOR EMPHASIS AND COMMENTARY ... BECAUSE I SAID SO THAT'S WHY

Buckle in this is a long one with a read more linky and everything.

I AM AWARE I JUST POSTED THIS HANG ON and come along for the ride or don't it is totally your call. Because I bitch about the camera angles and the cutoffs and how WE BARELY SEE THEIR FEET WTF CAMERA PEOPLE but really it's all jealousy that I don't own this performance in 4K high definition from a full body perspective, is all. So we are gonna bust out the Bangtan Bomb and the original video and the lyrics and the influences. We are gonna take this baby out to a nice dinner and buy her some wine and chocolate and let her get a nice buzz on and ask her nicely if she'll whisper her naughty little secrets go over rhythms and backbeats and Why Jimin Is A Damn Genius and What Happened With Rehearsal and Own It (in the next post, probably) and

just go clicky and read on if you've a mind to do so.

Are you still there? (/portalturret)

Oh thank God because here's me posting the Bangtan Sub link that I keep around for just such purposes:

WHEN I TELL YOU I BOUGHT TIMBERLANDS OVER THIS I AM NOT JOKING OKAY and me a grown ass woman adult it is embarrassing. How emotionally invested I got. Such the Jeon-Park house elf I became. Call me a joker I will not even argue the point you are probably not wrong in any event. Because kids. This is dance.

It is not perfect dance. It's not. It's... kind of a mess, in places. JeiKei's got his balls out for Jimin-ssi in the rehearsal and nukes 'em for performance, like he doesn't even look up half the time for stylistic or shy reasons I don't know. Jimin can't focus. Things Went On after rehearsal on Day One but we'll get to that... in the next post probably so this one doesn't get too long. Y'all know this is a Park Ji Yoon cover right? You do okay. Good. But if you need a refresher course here is the original - not the music video because it's long, but the Y2K Music Bank performance because it's (a) shorter and (2) the choreo Jiminie wa Jungkookie used, mostly:

I've been a Park Ji-yoon fan since, well, forever, and this song is great and she is great and HERE ARE THE ENGLISH LYRICS:

https://lyricstranslate.com

Adult Ceremony Hey you, why are you hesitating? I know you want me Right now in front of you, I know what you want, What you’re waiting for, just come here I’m not that little girl, You used to know anymore, I’m a woman now I’m thankful that you’ve waited for me Now I’ll become a woman at your kiss (Chorus) I’m not a little girl anymore Don’t hesitate any longer As much as you waited, I’ve waited for this day too Give me twenty stems of roses, so I can feel your love As I wait for you, I close my eyes Hey you, I want to give you permission to give me your love Teach me how love is so sweet and fragrant It was hard looking at you suffering and waiting My heart even hurt But now came the day where there is no reason to wait anymore (Repeat Chorus)

AND HOLY SHIT PEOPLE WHAT IN THE WHAT WHEN I FIRST HEARD THE JEON-PARKS EVEN DID THIS I WAS LIKE WHAT THE HELL WHO AUTHORIZED THIS? ISN'T ONE OF THEM STILL A MINOR (he wasn't but give me credit for asking okay) AND

My brain exploded, y'all. It did. And they DID THE CHOREO, mostly. With Jungkook POPPING HIS GUM and WEARING THAT HAT and THOSE PANTS MY GOD no wonder. Jimin was his own strongest soldier that day in rehearsal the boy's SHIRT WAS SEE THROUGH HE SHOWED UP ALMOST NAKED Jiminie could barely BREATHE.

And y'all don't think Jungkook showed up that day LOOKING TO GET LAID? Yes he did. He was gonna prove he was grown, thank you. And if Own It is any indication he may well have BUT AGAIN NEXT POST ANYWAY

That wasn't even the best part of the choreography. NAH. The off-beats were great. I still think Jimin put most of this together but Jungkook seemed very happy to participate. The best part of the choreo was from the second half of the performance after they just abandoned Park Ji Yoon and went straight for Billie Jean and Dangerous/Smooth Criminal via Michael Jackson's 1995 VMA performance. Which: I think they had help since neither of them were dancing well in 1995. But maybe they didn't. Michael Jackson, personal life aside, was an absolute GOD of pop choreography. I was taught the entire 1984 tour at a classical ballet company in Texas. Not one song not five songs THE WHOLE SET LIST. Can perform the shit to this day which is HOW I KNEW that well hell, they were just doing Billie Jean right out the gate for the second half. And IT LOOKS GOOD.

(ETA for nerd reasons the very cool leg sweep battement to half-turn head pop thing and the crotch grabs are straight from the Dangerous stage at about 8:00. It was never performed exactly that way anywhere else so this is canon choreo anywayyyyy…)

If you care at all give this a watch, the good part is right after Slash so about 3:40. Not that Slash isn't great we're just not doing him today. And Dangerous/Smooth Criminal is at 8:00 and yes you have to click through to YouTube to see it because copyrights.

So yes. We have a bizarre but brilliant pairing of Park Ji-yoon and MJ by way of horny gay Jikook out there jikooking the jikookery and it plays wonderfully, actually.

Jungkook in particular has a specific jerk to his shoulders and neck that thrusts his head forward a little bit, and downward. It's less apparent now he's older but back in 2016 it was a hallmark of his dance style.

You can still see it in the My Time choreo, though - just kind of a jerk of the chin, almost. It's usually followed by him dropping his shoulders down deliberately - going into a turn is a good place to spot it, or into a transition right before a jump or drop. Jimin can do the exact same turn choreo and shoulder drop but it doesn't have the angular, sharp look you see when Jungkook jars that shit at you. I actually like it, it's distinctive.

Kookie’s lines are also very languid for as sharp as they are... it looks like he takes extra time to unfold his limbs. He doesn't, it's an illusion that is specific to him due to his limb length. Kook is not in a hurry to get anywhere, he just shows up finished on the beat, and it's part of what makes him a great dancer. If you get a still shot mid-move his lines are nearly perfect no matter what position he's in. And it seems, although maybe isn't, entirely innate. Like, he was born with it. Jimin OTOH is a sex dancer but we all knew this. And it's somewhat embarrassing to refer to a 20 year old Jimin as a sex dancer but let's be honest, his isolations combined with the legato of his movement... well sex plus technique equals one hell of a body roll at any given time.

He is also exceptionally precise in both his timing and his angles of movement in relation to the air and the floor. His math maths, basically, but it does so in a way that makes it look like breathing. Jimin is, to my eye, one of the most beautiful dancers ever on the planet. You can totally see why Jungkook might feel the need to prove some things. ANYWAY I AM APPARENTLY WRITING A DAMN NOVEL ABOUT THIS OVER HERE and I am sorry, it's personal and my own problem. I'll be continuing this post (probably tomorrow) with the timeline of rehearsal to performance, plus Own It, and all that stuff. My brain hurts now. See you when I get back!

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

Edwards exploit?

Man, what is there to say about this one that hasn’t already been said?

I mean, one day some jamoke is gonna make a video saying that they don’t actually like this episode and that it’s lame, and a big user is going to foolishly give it exposure via bitching about it on Twitter, and the fandom will go up in flames (like, more so than the usual blowup). But me? Nah, even I’m not that contrarian.

Besides, I love it. It makes me happy, though perhaps for odd little bits that aren’t meant in any way to be the focus of the episode. Stuff like

Duck and BoCo’s angry faces

the shot of Edward with Bill and Ben

the shot right before the storm breaks out where Edward goes under the bridge—the curvature of the track there is absurd, but screw realism, it makes the train look so sinuous and pleasing

the sheer blackness of the night in the final scene or two with the brilliant white lights

Also the shot of the train on its way again during the “and he listened happily to Edward’s steady beat, as he forged slowly but surely ahead” line, it’s just such a thoroughly pleasing little bit—I keep meaning to make a good gif of it some day because visually those two seconds are definitely among some of the most comforting in film history. Why must Edward be so friend-shaped. I’m asking really.

Caption 1: seriously, this one bit of track curves right-left-right-left three times, WHY

Caption 2: "Okay, David, catch me at my good angle! 😇"

Yes, everyone who’s been in the fandom for six months probably already knows the “inaccuracies” in the adaptation, but I’m not too hung up on them. Like it’s very cool that we have so many Trainz adaptations and Exploit!models where people literally destroy their overpriced 2Ps for the accuracy?? and I’m grateful and I’m satisfied with this fan content supplementing the episode. Besides, when I was a kid we only had select episodes from S1-3 on VHS, and man, stuff like Thomas’s bent front and Edward’s siderods taken off—that was honestly pretty metal for us. The Flying Kipper crash was obviously more serious, but as far as, like, “special effects” went? It was these two episodes that brought the macabre fascination, due to the visible damage. I can remember parents commenting on those two details too, in fact I think they brought it to our attention. Like wtf, they broke the toys! Wild! (Then we got into some Season 4 stuff and were spoiled for these more innocent days, lol. Peter Sam’s and Thomas’s head-on collisions took the damage portrayed on screen to a whole new level.)

Also, as I’ve mentioned before, while there are several sentences in the original text that I wish the adaptation retained (Edward being so thrilled when he gets the train moving that his wheels start to slip all over again, omg—my boy!), there are also a couple of cuts I agree with actually. I prefer the happy quietude of some of the moments in the end of the adaptation to the “cheers to the echo” of RWS.

Bertie’s little bit at the beginning is pleasant enough but also unnecessary, especially when you consider that this obligatory-cameo-to-meet-a-quota-of-Bertie-appearances-this-season replaces this immortal RWS opener:

Edward scolded the twins severely, but told Gordon it served him right. Gordon was furious.

Like, I am in no way excusing Gordon, but I do think this exchange is interesting context for the following scene. As in I don’t think Gordon really believes what he’s saying; when he’s piqued he sees everything in the most negative light; when he’s in a good mood all the sudden it’s “my dear Edward” and all that. Gordon said it himself to Sir Handel—he has a lot of feeeeeeeelings. Nobody understands that. ;)

Another small detail in this notorious scene that I think gets overlooked is Duck saying “You’re all jealous!” For one thing, I think he means they’re jealous that Edward got this job; the comment implies one of those standard tiresome arguments in the preceding week about who would get the enthusiasts’ train and then who should get the enthusiasts’ train. And I dunno, the thought amuses me. Perhaps because a few hours later in the storm Edward is audibly thinking that the whole gig was entirely overrated. (I feel like next time this sort of thing came up Edward would’ve been all like, “BoCo, do you want it? We don’t want a repeat of last time.” And BoCo’s all *affectionate eyeroll* “No one goes to the island of Sodor for a diesel-hauled railtour, Edward.”)

Now, for all I’ve overanalyzed the effect of the opening “station scene” and how the changes affect how people read the character dynamics, I must still give the TV adaptation major props—their changes make this scene far more interesting and just generally watchable. I mean, though I do enjoy the realistic sidings of the RWS illustration, the TVS blocking of the "action" here is iconic:

Plus omg, the drama of it all, everyone talking about Edward while he’s just struggling to get that train started is a fascinating hook. (Certainly the writers of the show never got over this dynamic!) And, I have to admit, although it changes the characterizations a little, it’s not any huge stretch to have Gordon, Henry, and James be that shameless. It doesn’t distort the reality of RWS canon the way that Season 5 and beyond… *waves hand helplessly in the general direction of the mess*

However, and I wondered this even as a kid before I’d read any RWS, but in that scene why doesn’t Duck give the train a push to start? He’s Thomas and Percy’s successor at this point, so isn’t it part of his job? Always bugged me a bit, but then again these days I am amused to rationalize this and to imagine that Duck considers preventing the big three from bullying others to be among his duties, and in fact sometimes he gets so into it that he forgets some of the more bread-and-butter things. Yes, his old mates on the Great Western might be appalled at his new priorities, but then they didn’t have Gordon Henry and James to deal with, now did they??

Right, so like half of this post is now about the station scene... but honestly that’s fair. It’s worth saying again: The adaptation did a really good job with that. They take some pretty below-average obligatory set-the-stage RWS dialogue and somehow turn it into quite a memorable little scene. *tips hat respectfully*

[mannatea]

Shh I’m watching at work now.

I can’t believe nobody makes Trunks shut the fUCK up. MY BOI. MY LIL GUY. The baddies are right there and you don’t know how good their hearing is. STOP CHEERINGGGGG ARGHGHGHHH

Though I gotta say, Trunks calling Vegeta “papa” is the cutest shit.

I’m also becoming increasingly convinced via my memories of early DBZ episodes, as well as this arc, that Piccolo is more or less hoarding most of the brain cells. Between he and Krillin there’s just nothing left for Goku or Vegeta.

Vegeta going all out on Boo is kinda spicy though idk. Thinking back it’s almost hysterical how Gohan got obliterated in, what, like… four seconds flat? That’s a big oof.

Vegeta blasting a hole through Boo’s middle is kiiinda sexy of him, ngl. Vegeta stans know what they’re about. That said, he shoulda kept blastin.

The mid-episode cuts are so fucking funny btw. Like the further I get into the arc the funnier it is to cut away from the tense action to show Gohan and Videl riding around in that 666 Satan car with the goofy music and then flip to Goku standing in the goddamn way with his one whole brain cell to even goofier music.

I gotta support Piccolo and Krillin staying to check out the fight though. I would have abandoned Vegeta in a second to make sure the kids got out of there lmfao.

Also, Boo is honestly the most terrifying fuckin’ guy like. When he opens his eyes and says some shit I’m like. Yeahno. I don’t like this. That’s basically my sleep paralysis demon.

I love how like literally nobody did shit to help or protect Shin, his dumb purple ass just out there takin a dirt nap… got blown way the fuck off course.

“Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye, BYE-BYE!” This is the worst.

LMAO at Trunks being told to calm down after everyone tells Gohan to get angry. HAHAH

The boys trying to save Vegeta though ARGGHHHH wholesome. Good. “But Uncle!” STAHP. Listen the family fuckin dynamics with these people is probably one of the best parts of the series in general. Gets me every time. Shut up and don’t touch me.

Them unrolling Vegeta though HFDSKLAFDSAJKLDSA.

Piccolo doing a /spit emote out here. Sir that was banned from World of Warcraft, you can’t just dO that nowadays.

“Trunks, take good care of Bulma…your mama” VEGETA GET OUT OF HERE WITH THIS SAPPY SLOP

Someone needs to photoshop Vegeta as the Guess I’ll Die guy. Please.

“Let me hug you.” SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

“I’m counting on you, Piccolo.” SHUT UPPPP

AHAHAHA I forgot that Vegeta was like hmm when I die can I see my rival again maybe perhapsies? And Piccolo is like… “lol no, you’re too much of a shitstain actually.” The fact that Vegeta is still like welp whatever (and dies anyway?). He might be the prince of all saiyans but that’s KING shit bro.

Vegeta used Self-Destruct! (kinda hot… /twirls hair)

I forgot that they just sorta gloss over the fact that Video reunited with Gohan’s family and for some reason left with them. None of that is explained or anything. Like wtf? Does her dad even know where she fucking is? UHH???

But also thanks ChiChi for blaming Videl for your SUPER SAIAYAN LITTLE BOY getting away from Videl, a human woman who had to turn back because she couldn’t keep up flying lmfao. Ma’am, she could not have stopped those kids lol. At least Yamcha steps in to remind everyone of that.

But Videl leading them to where everyone else went… I mean that explains why she’s with them but it’s annoying that they just skipped over the entire scene of her finding them and explaining it lmao. Not that the manga dove into it either I guess.

Poor Bulma. IIRC in the manga he only barely misses hitting Bulma and the extended family with that blast of his in the stadium. I wonder why they changed that for the anime.

“My heart is trembling.” Weh, poor Bulma. I know this trope is sTUPID AS SHIT but I LOVE IT. Also, I don’t think I ever considered it before, but isn’t this kind parallelled with Videl refusing to believe Gohan is dead because she feels like she would know if he was? LOL

18 leaving her lil girl with Videl. <3 I STAN 18.

Krillin all sad about Gohan being dead… SMASH CUT TO GOHAN CRUISING AROUND IN A LITTLE CAR TO FUNKY MUSIC

“Thanks to 18, we’ve been saved!” And 18 does that lil smile. MA’AM STOP YOU’RE SO CUTE.

Piccolo RP walking across the fucking craterrrr

Pieces of Boo scattered on the ground. Eugh, gross. Too bad this didn’t actually work hahahaha. The Boo Bits wiggling on the ground is truly fucking horrifying LMFAO I HATE IT. Tiny Boos. Itty bitty little guys. No thanks.

There’s Shin. I missed him.

Videl calling Bulma and ChiChi “aunt” and Bulma taking offense to it is peak comedy to me. But also is Videl the only person here with a brain cell?? Why would they let Bulma climb up there by herself? JFC.

Bulma asking everyone to help and ChiChi is like /flex and starts MARCHIN. But Videl beats her to it and she’s like DON’T GET HURT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO MARRY MY SON. Honestly? She’s an icon. AND SHE DIVES IN ANYWAY. I love her too.

Goku, finally awake. First thing out of his mouth: Vegeta stole my beaaannnn

Boo shoves a rollercoaster train off the track. SMASH CUT TO GOHAN CRUISING IN A LITTLE CAR

Videl is having a very strange 24 hours here. She’s just “WTF” constantly. Same girl, but I do this because I get stupid emails every day. I love that everyone chains up holding hands and shit to get instant transmissioned to the lookout though and she’s like just standing there confused

I’m Bulma’s parents refusing to leave because I’m not leaving my creatures. “If we die just bring us back with the dragonballs!” SAME.

Kibito waking up not dead is me waking up every time my alarm goes off.

ChiChi making sure Videl comes ahhh. Also, lol… honey is your father not worried absolutely SICK over where you aRE?!?! I mean, I get the feeling this doesn’t really occur to Videl because her father barely seems to notice if she’s around or not, but still.

Yamcha not five minutes ago: “Bring back everyone who died today! Except the bad guys.” Goku: “Gohan and Vegeta are dead.” Why isn’t anyone talking about the dragonballs and the wish they literally just made lol.

Random thoughts about DBZ because I’m rewatching starting at the Great Saiyaman Arc.

Gohan is just so wholesome and good. Even after all these years I still stan with my whole heart. When he finds out that Mr. Satan has been taking credit for (more or less) his and his friends’ work during the Cell Games, and all he does is just have a giggle about it? I love him your honor.

These episodes start off so goofy after the more serious tone of the Cell Games arc, but even though they’re not very serious there’s enough realism in there for the silliness to feel grounded I guess? Like yeah, “Gohan goes to high school” sounds so dull off the cuff, but there’s something seriously charming about him trying to “fit in” and “be normal”—and to a degree it’s a relatable issue, too. He really is just trying to make friends and keep them (after a lifetime so far of not really having friends his own age)(I think Dende sort of counts for this but they don’t see each other as often as, say, a school friend group does).

Videl doesn’t half-ass anything and frankly that’s one of the reasons I will always love her.

Seriously, I love her so much. I wish they’d had more time to develop her character and go into a bit more about why she acts the way she does, but a lot of that can just be inferred. It’s not really surprising that she’s out there like a bloodhound sniffing out bullshit from Day 1 considering her father’s fame and what that has probably meant for her for the last 7ish years.

Also she’s a Fashion Icon actually. Spandex shorts and a t-shirt? Same, girl.

She does attach herself to Gohan awfully quickly, which ties back into wishing we got more character development, buttttt it seems pretty clear early on that part of the reason she wants to know who he is is because he’s “just like her for real”: she definitely seems to understand she’s found someone worth her time.

I think there’s probably something to be said here about her father’s bullshit too, and filling her head with ideas about how she can only date someone as strong as he is (when she believes nobody like that exists, especially not someone her age) but really I feel like that connection forms so quickly because Gohan is not a simp or a fan of hers; he just has a similar idea of justice, and she really vibes with that. It feels like a genuine connection to another person, which she probably hasn't experienced often.

Anyway I just love how earnest and hard-working she is.

And I’m sorry because the shipping goggles are permanently affixed to my dumb face at this point in my life with these characters, but it’s still pretty cute (and funny tbh) that Videl and Gohan have this constant back and forth of her doing something and him being genuinely impressed by her, even though her accomplishments are like, absolutely nothing compared to what he and his friends can do. It just kind of sets up Gohan as a “look at my awesome wife” kind of guy, which he definitely is. LOL.

I also really like how he manages to recognize that she has limitations (as she is just a human being) without ever really coming across like he’s disrespecting her as a person. Above all, Gohan does try to be respectful. Or when he’s worried about potentially coming up against her father in the tournament because he’s concerned beating her father in a match might hurt her feelings? He’s such a good kid.

He’s also dumb as shit re: the hair comment, but there’s something about that stupid 5 second scene that I love too… Like Gohan was just spitting facts about short hair being harder to use against her in a fight, but she totally misunderstood his meaning and then gets mad about it. LOL. It feels very…teenagery to me (as it should). But when she comes back with short hair anyway, it’s nice because even though she was upset for having misunderstood him, she obviously recognizes the truth in his words. It was good advice—so she takes it.

I also feel kind of bad for Gohan for all the teasing he gets at the start of the tournament for his “friend” being a “girl” like pleaaase give him a break. The poor kid barely has friends. Let’s not pigeonhole him into a romantic relationship too.

Honestly Videl needs time to build up a good friendship too. She kind of sucks at making and keeping friends and doesn’t need the pressure of romance on her plate (even though she’s obviously sorta interested HAHAHA).

I mean I like that they do get together in the end (obviously, I was the biggest G/V shipper in the old days lol) but that their friendship felt highlighted first and foremost was always meaningful to me personally lol.

Also to backtrack, it’s still hilarious that ChiChi was suspicious of Videl until she found out she was rich. ICONIQUE.

 Goten is the cutest little kid ARGHHHH. I love him so much.

One thing about watching the series in Japanese is that I miss out on the dub’s terrible rapping attempts by Gohan and frankly that is PEAK COMEDY.

Videl sounds 10x cuter in the original, too, now that I think about it. And Hercule sounds much more serious (despite his comedic relief character) which is a great contrast actually.

Announcer man is a fave too btw. I love him.

Backtracking again but Vegeta at the beginning of this arc was actually not as much of an asshole as I remember him being in the dub. But also why is his voice so smooth?? LOL.

Currently on the Trunks vs. Goten fight episode where Videl is like “WTF” about everything. I kinda feel bad for her, but I like that while her not knowing what’s going on is part of the comedy aspect of the episodes, she’s never treated like she’s stupid for it. For all of DBZ’s faults I will say some characters were done surprisingly well.

[olderthannetfic]

It's really surprising that you're so well versed in older fandoms and yet participate in new popular ones (that cdrama, kpop) is this by design? Im in my twenties and my interest turnover is already way slower than it used to be

You know, that’s a really interesting question. I wouldn’t say it’s by design exactly in that I do tend to just follow what strikes my fancy, and I can’t force myself to want to write fic for just anything. (I find it easier to like reading fic without serious involuntary emotional investment, but writing takes more. Vidding I can do on command most of the time, but I don’t usually bother unless I have a lot of feels or I’m fulfilling someone’s prompt.)

However, me getting into BTS was 100% due to me wanting to understand BTS enough to explain to people who weren’t very interested but wanted to know what was going on in fandom lately. Under normal circumstances, I run the dance party at Escapade, the oldest extant slash con. We borrowed vividcon’s thing of playing fanvids on the wall--all of them set to dance music--as the soundtrack for the dance party. This means I’m creating a 3-hour mixtape of fannishness, which has amazing potential to make people feel in the know about Fandom Today... and equal potential to make them feel alienated if nothing they care about shows up. Only about 100-150 people attend the con, so it really is possible to make a playlist that feels inclusive yet informative--it just takes a huge amount of work.

Every year, I do a lot of research on which fandoms are getting big and look for vids from vidders people won’t have heard of, so there is an element of consciously trying to keep up with things. Generally, I only get into these fandoms myself if I had no idea what they were and then suddenly, oops, they’re my kryptonite, like the buddy cop android plot in Detroit: Become Human, which sucked me in hard for like 6 months on the basis of a vid.

(So if you’re into cross-fandom meta and associated stuff as one of your fannish interests, you tend to have broader knowledge of different fandoms, old and new, than if you’re just looking for the next place you’ll read fic. It’s also easier to love vids for unfamiliar things than fic.)

But though I was only looking for a basic primer on BTS, BTS has 7 members with multiple names and no clear juggernaut pairing, not to mention that AU that runs through the music videos and lots of other context to explain. The barrier to understanding WTF was going on at all was high enough that to know enough to explain, I had to be thoroughly exposed... And once I was over that hurdle, oops, I had a fandom.

--

In terms of old vs. new, here’s the thing: kpop fandoms in English and c-drama fandoms in English right now feel a lot like anime fandom in English did in the early 00s. I had a Buddy Cops of the 70s phase in the middle, but my current fannishness is actually a return to my older fannishness in many ways.

What do I mean about them being similar?

Yes, I know some wanker will show up to say I think China, Korea, and Japan are indistinguishable, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the way that I used to routinely meet Italian and French and German fans, Argentinian and Mexican, Malaysian and Indonesian and Filipino too. English-language fandom of SPN or MCU may have all those fans from all those countries, but it feels very American most of the time. English-language fandom of a non-English-language canon is more overtly about using English as a lingua franca.

It also tends to attract people who as a sideline to their fannishness are getting into language learning and translation, which are my other passion in life after fanworks fandom. (I speak only English and Spanish and a bit of Japanese, but I’ve studied German, French, Russian, Mandarin, Old English, and now Korean.)

Nerds arguing about methods of language learning and which textbooks are good and why is my jam. This is all over the place in English-language fandoms of Chinese, Japanese, and Korean media. Those fandoms also tend to be full of speakers coming from a Germanic or Romance languages background who face similar hurdles in learning these languages. (In other words, if you’re a native Japanese speaker trying to learn Korean, the parts that will be hard for you are different than if you’re an English speaker, but you’re also usually not doing fandom in English.)

There’s also an element of scarcity and difficulty of access and a communal attempt to construct a canon (in the other sense) of stuff from that country that pertains to one’s fannishness. So, for example, a primer explaining the genre of xianxia is highly relevant to being a n00b Untamed fan, but just any old thing about China is not. A c-drama adapted from a danmei webnovel is perhaps part of the new pantheon of Chinese shit we’re all getting into, but just any old drama from decades ago is probably not... unless it’s a genre precursor to something else we care about. Another aspect here is that while Stuff I Can Access As A N00b Who Doesn’t Speak The Language may be relatively scarce, there’s a vast, vast wealth of stuff that exists.

This is what it felt like to be an anime fan in the US in 2000. As translation got more commercial and more crappy series were licensed and dumped onto an already glutted market, the vibe changed. No longer were fans desperately trying to learn enough of the language to translate or spending their time cataloguing what existed or making fanworks about a show they stuck with for a bit: the overall community focus turned to an endless race of consumption to keep up with all of the latest releases. That’s a perfectly valid way of being fannish, but if I wanted that, I’d binge US television 24/7.

Anime fandom got bigger, but what I liked about anime fandom in English died, and I moved on. (Okay, I first moved on to Onmyouji, which is a live action Japanese thing, but still.)

Hardcore weeaboos and now fans of Chinese and Korean stuff don’t stop at language: people get excited about cooking, my other other great passion. Times a thousand if the canon is something like The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty, which is full of loving shots of food preparation. People get excited about history! Mandarin and Japanese may share almost nothing in terms of grammar or phonology, but all of East Asia has influence from specific Chinese power centers historically, and there are commonalities to historical architecture and clothing that I love.

I fell out of love with the popular anime art styles as they changed, and I’m not that into animation in general these days. (I still own a shitton of manga in art styles I like, like Okano Reiko’s Onmyouji series.) I’ve become a filmmaker over the last decade, and I’m very excited about beautiful cinematography and editing. With one thing and another, I’m probably not going to get back into anime fandom, but it’s lovely to revisit the cultural aspects I enjoyed about it via live-action media.

BTS surprised me too, to be honest. I really dislike that early 90s R&B ballad style that infests idol music (not just Korean--believe me, I resisted many rounds of “But Johnny’s Entertainment though!” back in the day). While I like some of the dance pop, I just don’t care. But OH NO, BTS turn out to be massive conscious hip hop fanboys, and their music sounds different. I have some tl;dr about my reactions in the meta I wrote about one of my fanvids, which you can find on Dreamwidth here.

--

But back to your comment about turnover: I know fans from the 70s who’ve had one great fannish love and that’s it and more who were like that but eventually moved on to a second or third. They’re... really fannishly monogamous in a way I find hard to comprehend. It was the norm long ago, but even by the 90s when far more people were getting into fandom, it was seen as a little weird. By now, with exponentially more people in fandom, it’s almost unheard of. I think those fans still exist, even as new people joining, but we don’t notice them. They were always rare, but in the past, only people like that had the stamina to get over the barriers to entry and actually become the people who made zines or were willing to be visibly into fanfic in eras when that was seen as really weird. On top of that, there’s an element of me, us, judging the past by what’s left: only people with an intense and often single passion are visible because other people either drifted away or have seamlessly disappeared into some modern fandom. They don’t say they’re 80 or 60 or 40 instead of 20, so nobody knows.

In general, I’m a small fandoms and rare ships person. My brain will do its best to thwart me by liking whatever has no fic even in a big fic fandom... (Except BTS because there is literally fic for any combination of them, like even more than for the likes of MCU. Wow. Best fandom evar!) So I have an incentive to not get complacent and just stick with one fandom because I would very soon have no ability to be in fandom at all.

My appetite for Consuming All The Things has slowed way down, but it also goes in waves, and a lot of what I’m consuming is what I did back in 2000: journal articles and the limited range of English-language books on the history of m/m sex and romance in East Asia. It’s not so much that I have a million fandoms as that I’m watching a few shows as an expression of my interest in East Asian costume dramas and East Asian history generally.

I do like to sit with one thing and experience it deeply rather than moving on quickly, but the surface expression of this has changed depending on whether I’m more into writing fic or more into doing research or something else.

But yes, I do do a certain amount of trying to stay current, often as a part of research for fandom meta or to help other people know what’s going on. Having a sense of what’s big doesn’t automatically mean getting into all those things, but I think some fans who are older-in-fandom and/or older-in-years stop being open to even hearing what’s new. And if you’ve never heard of it, you’ll never know if you might have liked it.

[queenlua]

hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!

huh, an interesting question, ty!

i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.

given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.

(stuff under cut because long)

first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.

if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue.  see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP.   and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP.  so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.

(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)

the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.

i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.

also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.

it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.

(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)

anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.

this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)

here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.

also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on.  there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc.  you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)

(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)

if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code

"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:

microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.

cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz

the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)

ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.

azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials

also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?

oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing