#why do i always end up talking about penises on my blog
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ingravinoveritas · 2 years ago
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Captain Jack Harkness voice: I can't tell you what I'm thinking right now...
(GO 2 BTS pic here.)
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sky-chau · 19 days ago
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I've said it once and I'll say it again: Any definition for LESBIAN or justification for identifying with the term that mentions men is missing the point. You can hate men all you want but lesbianism straight up has nothing to do with them.
I'm only reminding people because I stumbled into a red names blog while looking for the source of some meme.
Here's a real quote I had the misfortune of reading today (fixed the grammar because it was a tag):
"I'm a lesbian because I'm incapable of attraction to men and penises.
I feel bad for this person, not because they deserve it, but because best case scenario this radfem made without a hint of irony or thought made lesbianism about men and that's so hilarious the second hand embarrassment is going to give me a fever. Worst case scenario, this girl has never felt sexual attraction before and doesn't realize it, which sounds like a stretch but stick with me here as I try to meet people where they're at.
If we're assuming this radfems bioesentialist ideas about gender are correct***(note the massive green asterisks), a repulsion to men still does not imply an attraction to women. Attraction to women is it's own thing and men have nothing to do with it. Defining lesbianism as the rejection of men puts radfems in line with the performative political lesbians who separated from all of the men in their life and had relationships with women solely to prove to society that they could. These partnerships were not made from love or sexual attraction to another woman, but of a shared spite for and frustration with men. I gotta say, as a feminist movement, political lesbians undercut their own point here. Political lesbians never in any meaningful way separated or freed themselved from men. They never got to reclaim their mental energy and lives from men because their reactionary politics casted men as an arch nemisis to be defeated. In the end they simply replaced loving men with hating men. The very axis of radfem politics still revolves around men. Men are still getting are controlling their lives, getting all of their energy and attention because in order to hate anything you have to care enough to be bothered by it. A hater always arrives first at the scene because prolonged hatred is a force of obsession.
Like damn, what ever happened to loving women because they're hot, amazing and fucking awesome? Why's this gotta be about how gross "radical" lesbians think dick is? If beautiful women are right there holding your attention in the fuckin stronghold of exclusive attraction, why do radfems feel the need to reinforce femininity as a mere deviation from masculinity by constantly talking about them as though they're nothings more than the obvious alternative to men?
And dropping the bioesentialism (***because bioesentialsm is wrong. Both bioesentialism and evolutionary psychology are pseudosciences in the same way that eugenics is) , if in the world of self identified lesbians a passionate lover of vulva encounters a proposal from a trans woman who has none to offer, is the ire placed on the trans woman for simply asking. Proposals are made to be rejected or accepted that is why they're phrased as questions. You can always answer no because you love vulva. There's simply no need to put anyone down for not meeting your standard or insist that anyone who have all the features your excited about is not allowed to share a self identified label with people who do meet your expectations.
It's okay to have preferences. Anyone who refuses to take no for an answer in a sexual or romantic proposal is in the wrong (for ignoring your consent) no matter what the reason for rejection is. But the simple act of a trans woman asking a lesbian out is not an assault or a callous disregard for anyones safety and personal identity. She's asking if you would be interested, not insinuating that you should be.
She may be curious as to why she's been rejected and "You're not my type." is the polite response. Heck "you're not my type" is the polite response to anyone you're not attracted to no matter what gender they are.
This idea that trans women are only transitioning to guilt trip lesbians into sleeping with them and invade "female spaces"**(<-----ASTERISK) is strange even if they were men.
Pressuring anyone into sex is bad behavior regardless of gender and by attributing this to any one class of people is as dangerous as it is rude. All genders and sexes are equally capable of bad behavior and posing a threat. To live in constant fear and loathing of the boogeyman radical feminists have decided all men to be, places an assumption of malicious intent that taints all of your interactions with humanity. This inherently limits the ability to see any AMAB as an individual with their own life and thoughts or even as a PERSON.
And I know what the argument is, I used to be a radical feminist (I'm not anymore, please, I do not piss on the poor). The explanations for a hostile attitude towards AMAB folk is that it's a form of self defense in a world where men feel entitled and society agrees with them at every turn. To make yourself prickly and unapproachable in the eyes of masculinity is to be safe. That's the core idea radical feminists have going on, that's why they're like that.
We live in a world rapidly growing comfortable with informality and impoliteness but even in 2025 regarding a stranger with active antagonism or malicious intent, will ALWAYS be picking a fight. Being polite and respectful to strangers is the safest option. If a stranger has not gone out of their way to threaten or harm you in any way, you have nothing to defend yourself from. Constantly interacting with strangers in a combative or defensive way only puts yourself at risk of starting an altercation. This is true of all strangers.
If I asked a girl out and she said she was straight and proceeded to talk to me like I'm some kind of predator or imply I've hurt her and violated her for simply asking a question, the best case scenario is ending in an argument because no matter what she believes that was a cruel and unnecessary response. And I'm a Cis woman with some experience in martial arts so in a worse scenario, you bet your ass I'm throwing hands.
Trans women are women and no matter what definitions of gender and sex you subscribe to in your head and heart, Trans women are still PEOPLE and INDIVIDUALS with LIVES, FEELINGS, FAVORITE MOVIES, HOBBIES, JOBS, DREAMS, and FEARS.
You don't have to understand or agree with someone to be polite and respectful. I know recently everything sucks all the time and it's understandable to be scared and frustrated, but kindness is still an option in our mundane lives. So just save the energy it takes to be mad for later and try not to ruin someone's day?
(**Hey look it's me the red double asterisks again here at the end of the post to elaborate more on "female spaces". No need to completely derail the main post in the middle to go on a tangent! I'm going to stop using the red text now to save your eyes, but know everything below this point is a footnote!)
Usually "female spaces" refers to bathrooms and locker rooms which in radical feminists ideology are these protected safe spaces where a woman will never encounter men or anyone with a penis. In the real world, "female spaces" are regularly intruded by penis having people for reasons that aren't nefarious or sexy.
The sanitation staff might just be one singular guy who has to maintain all the bathrooms in the building. A mother may be potty training a son. I'm a cis woman, and as a small child, my dad made me use the mens restroom whenever him and I were out alone without mom. It's pretty normal, actually, for parents to make their toddlers use whatever public bathroom won't get their adult parent ass funny looks while they wait outside the stall or potty train. The accessible toilet in the mens room may be out of order or further away for those who need it.
I don't personally see any ethical difference between sex segregation and racial segregation. So long as we segregate spaces and sports based on sex women will never fully have equal access to the same resources opportunities and attention, ESPECIALLY IN SPACES LIKE BATHROOMS.
Have you any idea how common it is for the mens bathrooms to not have mirrors, or the womens restrooms to have fewer operating toilets, how normal it is for one bathroom to have a baby changing station, coathooks, shelves, automatic faucets ect, but not the other in the same establishment????
There was a school I went to where on any given day, one of the toilets just wouldn't work. The same school also had a weird foot pump sink that required you to repeatedly stomp on a rubber air pump thing on the ground for the entire duration you needed that water to run. Can you imagine my rage when the nearest unlocked door during a randomized intruder drill is the boys bathrooms and like after the alarms stopped sounding and I no longer thought I was gonna die, that the fucking boys bathrooms had normal hot and cold lever activated sinks and no water pressure issues in the toilets???? (Boys bathroom didn't have a mirror btw? Freaky.) We're really out here in 2025 ignorant to just how different the bathrooms are in some places just because someone put a sign at the door that said we could only use one of them.
I will concede that in cases where no renovations are being done to existing sex segregated bathrooms I would rather they remain labeled simply because urinals don't have stalls and I don't want to see anyone while they take a piss. Gender neutral bathrooms still need individual privacy. Nobody needs to watch me sit on the pot or make sure my dress isn't touching the toilet water, we're talking about the bathrooms at Costco not a fucking daycare.
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mithliya · 2 years ago
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idk which ex ur talking about in that "insane things my ex has done" but i relate bcuz i am currently in a relationship with a gendie who has started saying recently that my aversion to male genitalia is incredibly transphobic even though she knows i have been sexually assaulted many times by men (and am and always have been a lesbian lol) (also sorry if this is inappropriate but i feel like i have no one else to confide in.)
im not sure where i talked about her but i can tell from what u said which ex i was talking about lool its my 1st gf and i never rly talked fully about this bc my ex has since transitioned (only socially tho afaik) & continued to be questionable as fuck in various ways and went from friendly w me to shit talking me bc how dare i share my opinions on my blog which she decided to keep regularly checking for years after our break up despite her having a gf and us hardly ever talking (partially bc of me bc frankly in hindsight i was far too forgiving n despite that she demonised me at the end of our relationship n was weird in various moments after we remained friends)
but she was (& is) also a gendie, which is fine bc when we were together she wasnt like irrational about it. she was the one who told me that SRS doesnt work the way i thought it did, like the genitals didnt magically change and there arent like no differences like i thought, instead she said the differences were obvious. but near the end of our relationship she insisted to me that the way to fix her issues was to make our relationship an open relationship, said that my body made her insecure about her own body n she should sleep w people with a similar body to gain confidence in it. prior to that i was not for an open relationship at all but those comments made me feel like saying no would make me selfish and that if thats what she needs to accept herself then fine yanno. then ofc not soon after she starts e-dating this trans woman who is an abusive creep & rapist (like not even exaggerating here. but ofc those accusations were dismissed for a while bc the trans woman called the woman who came out about the abuse a terf n ppl believed that until trans women also began to call this out). i was like um hows dating someone with a diff body than u and even a diff sex going to make u feel better about ur body when thats the entire reason for the open relationship? never rly got a proper answer but whatever i let it be. then that trans woman wanted to be in a throuple with us basically like wanted to get with me and my ex and would openly fantasise about me to my ex. my ex said "oh she wouldnt be into that, shes not into penises" and the trans woman was like omg why.. :( and my ex was like oh shes penis-repulsed etc and the trans woman was like aw how sad i hope she gets help for that!! n my ex agreed. then my ex told me about this n i was like... what the fuck? it took me a bit but after a few days i was like hey this comment really pissed me off wtf do u mean gets help for that.. and my ex was saying that i should seek therapy to stop being penis-repulsed and should see trans women as women and be open to trans women in a romantic & sexual way basically and i was clearly upset by that n i was like. ur telling me to seek conversion therapy. n she was like nooo and i was like what so u mean some kind of exposure therapy against the "phobia" of penises? and she was like yeah just like that! n i said... thats literally a form of conversion therapy that was done in the past to other gay ppl.. exposing gay ppl to the opposite sex's genitals to try to change their feelings towards it is literally a conversion therapy tactic.
anyways my ex n i ultimately broke up bc it turned out the open relationship was meant to be one-sided somehow and her doing things was ok but if i did things it made me a cheater somehow and my comfort was repeatedly disregarded, i didnt like that trans woman at all at that point n my ex would still keep dating them n it was just all too many bad things at once so i was like fuck it im done w this. ultimately my ex realised that this trans woman is indeed an abuser and i also realised the my 2nd gf who i got with soon after i broke up w my ex is also an abuser. but then when my ex began to transition she started to show more of that homophobia she showed during our relationship like saying the f-slur (calling ppl that) and saying its ok bc "im a bisexual man" which was just.........erm... anyways in the end our last form of communication was her getting her friends to gang up on me for ~ruining the fun~ of a game of among us and then she talked shit about me to one of my close friends (been friends for 14 years) who she never even met and was like ~omg shes so problematic im sorry i just cant handle it anymore~ ......
anyways i feel u lmao. its not inappropriate dont worry and im sorry u went thru that too bc its painful to love someone as they are and yet they basically tell u that ur lesbianism means something is wrong w u bc ur truly not into males at all. honestly i think its best for u to end it asap instead of making the mistake i did, nothing good came out of it for me and i shouldve left for good at the first red flag which was my ex's compulsive lying about serious issues like rape & fgm, or immediately ended it when she was saying that i should go thru conversion therapy otherwise im transphobic
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itsdaggerandsheath · 5 years ago
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An Introduction to Sex
               Everyone has an “introduction to sex”. The most of us are not born and raised in households where sex is openly talked or taught about, therefore we must be introduced to it in some way. Usually first by word of mouth from parents, friends on the playground, or maybe a school health class. Typically when it comes to parents and health classes though, you only learn about sex in terms of reproduction and looking at scary pictures of genitalia with STI’s meant to scare you into abstaining. Then, as you get a bit older, you may be introduced to sex as an “activity” through your friends, the Internet, porn, etc. And then, of course, you’re introduced to sex when you start having it, should you choose to. Everyone has different introductions to sex, but I feel the need to document mine because 1.) I feel that it will help explain why I’m so passionate about sex education if I document my experiences with sex from the very beginning and 2.) my “introductions” were hilarious, and since we’re in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, I wanted to write something with a bit of humor to hopefully make you laugh and provide you with a bit of a distraction from the end of the world.                So. Let’s start from when I was about four years old, when I began to learn about sex for the sake of reproduction. I’m not a parent, but I imagine there are times when parents say something horrible to their young children thinking “they won’t remember this when they’re older,” which is what I’m sure my mother was thinking when she was teaching me about sex when I was little. Unfortunately (for me) she was wrong, and I remember every…weird little detail.              I was a very curious child. I don’t remember why I was so curious with the idea of where babies came from; maybe I saw it as a joke on a TV show or movie or something. But for some reason, I was infatuated with the idea for as long as I can remember (perhaps this was an early sign that I was meant to pursue sex education all along). I was constantly asking my poor mother, “Mommy, where do babies come from?” And by constantly, I mean, probably every day. Even after she explained it to me, I would continue to ask for more details; I continued to ask her as the years went by because her explanation just didn’t make sense to me. Basically, what she told me (and remember, I was four) was that when a mommy and a daddy get married (marriage was always emphasized) and they want to have a baby, the daddy will give the mommy his “daddy juice” (yes, that is actually what she called it) and this “daddy juice” turns into a baby in the mommy’s belly.              It’s going to be very hard to type this all out without cringing.              Since I was four at the time, this answer made sense the first time I heard it. As time went on though, I found myself asking more questions. One time, I saw my cat outside “wrestling” with another cat, and a few weeks later, we had kittens; how had that happened? Why did the boys and men in my life face the toilet when they peed? Where did “daddy juice” come from and how did it get into a mommy’s belly to make a baby?! I demanded answers. (Now my only question is why the hell did my mom refer to semen as “daddy juice”?!)              I can’t remember where my mom got “The Miracle of Life” videotape from. Did we just so happen to have it? Did she rent it from the library or Blockbuster because I’d just kept asking? I’m not sure. All I remember is her handing me a video tape (I’m not that old, I promise) and telling me that if I watched and paid attention, it would give me some answers. By the time she let me watch the tape, I was seven years old and had some mild knowledge on reproductive anatomy; that females had vaginas and periods, and that males had penises and did not have periods, though this was the extent of my knowledge (granted, that’s more than most seven year olds know). However, this was enough for me to understand most of what was going on as I watched the tape.                Most.                Now, there’s pros and cons to me having seen this video tape. A pro is that my mom didn’t try to spin some story about how the stork delivers babies; she allowed me to know the truth. A con though is that my mother wasn’t the one who told me the truth: a video tape was. I can’t remember if I asked my mom any more questions after watching the tape or if any sort of conversation was had with me, but I do remember that she told me not to tell any of my friends about what I’d learned - presumably because she didn’t want me to be “that kid” who goes around and tells all the other kids about sex before their parents told them.                So, of course, I totally was that kid.                I remember being in my back yard playing on the swing set a few days later with a friend of mine at the time, and when I told her that I knew the secret to where babies came from, her eyes widened through her purple glasses and her mouth with several missing teeth fell wide open.               “You do?” She asked, lowering her voice, knowing that what we were discussing was top secret material.                In my second grade vernacular, I explained to her that babies came from “a boy putting his private part in the girl’s private part.”                “Which one?” My friend asked, referring to the fact that, from what we knew at the time, “girls have two holes” (we now know that females have three, but remember, we were seven at the time).                “I think the first one,” I’d said, referring to the vagina, as I didn’t know what a urethra was at the time.                This friend and I then made it our life’s mission to spread this new information to every one of our friends. Partly because it was rebellious and mischievous and fun, but also because I personally felt like it was something that my friends needed to know, because their parents were lying to them about where babies came from. I really was meant to go into sex education from the very beginning.               My mom never found out I’d told all my friends about sex, which was a sweet victory to me at the time. (She also doesn’t know that I have a sex education blog that I share with all of you, which is also quite the victory).                Then we get to how I learned about sex as an “activity” or something that people do “for fun”, which I’ll mostly discuss in Part 2, but I’ll give you a little taste of it here too. I’m gonna circle back to the idea of my mom saying things to me that she figured I probably wouldn’t remember as I got older that sure as shit, I did, and shutter at to this day. One such conversation went a little something like this when I was about eight:              “But how does the penis get into the vagina? Do you have to lay down or sit up, or…?”              My mom shrugged, “You can do it standing up…” She trailed before taking a sip of her coffee.              That’s an image I’ll never get out of my head.              My mom and dad got divorced when I was very young, to the point where I don’t even remember most of it. My mom didn’t date very much before she got married again to my stepdad over a decade after her first marriage had ended, but at the time of the conversation I’m about to document, she’d been in a relationship with a guy who for the sake of privacy, we’ll call Tod. To provide some context, my mom and Tod were pretty serious at the time, to the point where there was talk of moving in together and marriage. I was about nine at the time and suffered from really awful nightmares, so I was sleeping in my mom’s bed with her a lot and Tod never stayed the night (because my mom didn’t want her kids to see a man she wasn’t married to spending the night with her after she’d told us time and time again that married people don’t stay the night together, even though my dad and his girlfriend weren’t married at the time and they lived together, so I don’t understand why she shoved that down our throats so much when we already knew it wasn’t true). However, with the idea of my mom and Tod potentially getting married, my mom was trying to talk to me about sleeping in my own room again.                “You’re not gonna be able to fit into the bed with me if Tod and I get married and he’s sleeping with me,” She’d explained.                I’d shrugged, “I’ll just sleep on the floor.”               “What if we wanna have sex and we can’t because you’re in the room?”               “I thought you said Tod’s sperm didn’t work anymore.”               By this time, I’d learned the word “sperm” and as my mom and Tod had gotten more serious, there came the question of whether or not they’d have any more kids – my mom had me and my sister, and Tod had two children of his own, but would they want any together? My mom explained to me that Tod’s “sperm didn’t work anymore”, which I now assume means he got a vasectomy, and my mom was adamant about not having any more children anyway (this was a couple years before my brother came along; his dad was not Tod, so that’s a story for another time).                “Not sex to have a baby; sex for fun.”                Confused, I asked, “People have sex for fun?”                “Yeah, you didn’t know that?”                I was nine.                I realize I’m portraying my mother like she’s a horrible person, which she isn’t; I love my mother very much, these were just not some of her best moments…               So then, of course, I told all of my friends that grownups sometimes have sex just for fun. I had no idea how it worked, just that it was a thing that happened.               Then, I entered fifth grade, which was the grade that my school began giving us the talk in our health classes about sex. What this entailed was separating the boys and girls, the girls being taught this information by a female teacher and the boys being taught by a male teacher. Some of this information was actually quite useful; we learned about puberty, developing breasts, periods and period products (and how to use them), as well as what little anatomy we needed to know about when it came to sex for the purpose of reproduction. However, there was one fatal flaw.               I was sitting next to a friend of mine – the same friend with the purple glasses who I’d first told about sex when we were seven. Now, we were ten, and learning about a lot of things that we already knew about, which gave us a bit of an advantage, as I’d caught the flaw in the school nurse’s explanation of where babies came from. She did tell us that sperm goes into the vagina, finds an egg in the ovaries, and that the sperm and ovary will eventually form into a baby. However, she didn’t explain where the sperm came from! The fact that sperm comes from a penis and that, in most instances, pregnancy occurs from a penis going into a vagina, was never mentioned.              It was clear that she was intentionally not telling us this, which I immediately knew was wrong.              I was a little asshole at the time, and was this close to raising my hand and asking the school nurse “How does sperm get into the vagina?” even though I already knew the answer, when another girl raised her hand and asked the question instead, and it was obvious that she really didn’t know. My school nurse, her face turning as red as her bright red hair, then very quickly and hurriedly explained to us that sperm comes from a penis and (since we were too young to understand IVF) that pregnancy occurs when a penis goes into a vagina, and sperm leaves the penis and goes into the uterus through the vagina.             I was still an asshole though and dared to raise my hand and ask, “Is it true that people have sex for fun too?” I knew the answer to this question as well, and so did my friend sitting next to me; we just wanted to know what she’d say.            “Uh…y-yes, s-some people do it for fun, yes. There’s even a little piece of plastic you can put on the penis to prevent sperm from getting into the vagina, so you won’t get pregnant.”            This was news to me. That was all my school nurse said about condoms; she never even said the word “condom”. However, this didn’t faze me at the time. Instead, I simply looked at my friend next to me and we snickered together, like the little assholes we were.          As puberty came along, my curiosity about sex only grew. And do you think I got a good education about it in school? Nope. Not a bit. So where did I get my information from? Friends? No, I was the friend that was relaying the information. Porn? Not necessarily…         Fanfiction.         Yes, as much as it pains me to say it, I got a good chunk of my sex education from Fanfiction. And a bit of Tumblr and YouTube as well, but we’ll discuss that a bit more in Part 2…         In the meantime though, what was your introduction to sex like? Was it as ridiculous and cringey as mine? Did your parents tell you the truth about sex, or did they make up some absurd story? Please feel free to tell me your stories in the comments here or on my Instagram page @daggerandsheath                                                         I love you all and stay safe during this difficult time!
-          Dagger and Sheath                
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ingravinoveritas · 2 years ago
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Why is Anna suddenly coming out with new headshot photos on the day of the good omens trailer release? Girl your desperation for attention is showing immensely if you think choosing to post on today of all days will make anyone forget about the husbands and focus on you instead. Also, wtf re: Georgias insta stories? One question; WHY? Another question; Why are you always talking about and thinking about vaginas and penis’s?? Why do these two always have to be competing for attention whenever the boys have anything? Why can’t they just be normal partners and be supportive without trying to undercut them?
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Holy wow, okay...my inbox blew up. Yes indeed, lots of goings on today, most notably the amazing GO 2 trailer, which I've watched several times and has filled my heart with unbridled homosexual glee.
As for the rest of today's happenings, well...oof. First off, for those who haven't seen, let's get the visuals up, starting with Anna's new headshots that she posted and Georgia calling her Barbie:
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And here is the video/screenshots from Georgia's Insta stories:
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...Quite a bit to unpack here, it seems. In terms of Anna's headshots, some of you mentioned this (as have other folks who DMed me privately about them), and I agree that they were purposely posted on the same day as the GO 2 trailer release. It's just flagrantly transparent at this point, given the number of times this has happened with previous GO 2 news, and so yes, I do think Anna was trying to capitalize on the news stories and social media chatter around GO 2 to bring attention to herself.
That being said...I'm really not sure who told her that these were good head shots, but they were not at all being honest. The lighting is terrible, her hair looks dull, and the pictures for whatever reason seem...flat, to me. There's no life in them, no spark, which is not helped by her seemingly vacant expression. (Why is her mouth hanging open in disgust in the first picture? Why is she staring into the abyss in the second? I'm so confused...) The pictures are reminiscent of a photo shoot she did last year that inexplicably involved sitting on a radiator while she was pregnant, and the common thread between the two seems to be that either the photographers did not give her good directions, or she just doesn't know how to "relate" to the camera, which...is probably not a good thing, given her chosen profession of acting.
But what really was striking to me was the caption on this new post. The disingenuous tone of "I will admit, not the biggest fan of having pictures taken" coupled with the fact that these pictures were deliberately posted on the day of the GO 2 trailer release makes it seem like she is fishing for compliments/praise. Add to that Georgia sharing the post and referring to Anna as "my very own Barbie" (which comes across as incredibly fake) and it becomes clear that this was again coordinated, this time not only to gain attention via the GO 2 trailer, but also Staged 3's impending release on the BBC.
Which then brings us to Georgia's Insta stories. Lord help me, I don't even know where to start. Well, it's been brought to my attention that "Would you rather" is a game, one that is often played on long car rides/road trips and used by parents to entertain restless children. I don't think I ever played it myself as a kid, but the basic gist seems easy enough to understand. What's less easy for me to understand, however, is (as several of you pointed out) Georgia using said game to talk about penises and vaginas.
I'm the first one to acknowledge that I talk about sex a lot. It's part of the work that I do as an autism sexuality advocate, and I'm all in favor of using correct anatomical terms and teaching people about human sexuality/development, and therefore not at all one to begrudge someone talking about genitalia. But with Georgia's stories, I get the sense that she is doing it for shock value more than anything else...and when you talk about penises/vaginas as much as she does, after a while it starts to come across as crass instead of shocking.
By her own admission, Georgia has said she needs content, and so logically, talking about something spicy would be a good way to drum up engagement/generate content. Yet I couldn't help thinking of the fact that Georgia has numerous trans and/or gender non-conforming followers, and given the current climate around transgender issues in the UK (and US)--especially things like "bathroom checks" and the despicable obsession GCs have with trans people's genitals--her stories just edge too close to something unsettling for me. I'm not saying this was necessarily intentional on Georgia's part, but the fact that she then shared people's responses without knowing (or caring) whether people were okay with it made it even weirder and more disquieting.
Both Georgia and Anna posted the trailer to their Insta stories after posting the things above, and again this seems calculated because then you have to view the stories about them before getting to the GO 2 trailer. But as @phantomstars24 said, the focus was swiftly pulled off of them (rightfully so) once that trailer was out. They absolutely could have chosen to depict themselves as supportive partners, but chose to come across as opportunistic and self-serving instead. I can't begin to fathom why, but...there it is.
So yes, there was quite a bizarre incongruity between what was happening on Instagram vs. Twitter/Tumblr today, and the fact that it came from Michael and David's own partners makes it even stranger. I'm sure GT and AL have been tapped to help with the promotion for GO 2 (and Staged 3), but it really does seem like they missed the mark here. Cringe for days...
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aftertheworldends-blog1 · 8 years ago
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How To Write Men In Romance Fiction
I have recently come across one of the most fascinating articles published in the recent 2015, written by a man who doesn’t read romance novels, about – you guessed it – Romance Literature! There’s a saying in Bulgarian, which we started using about 15 years ago (I believe it was used in a sketch by a comedian), and it goes like this: “I laugh in the face of tragedy because what else could I do – cry?”
I believe this article gives meaning to that expression in ways I did not think possible.
Now, gender is a stupid thing to begin with, let’s base our conversation on that. Creating a general picture of manhood or womanhood is ridiculously impossible affair, because not only does it vary by culture, it varies by person, and we end up with the bottom line that we all experience gender in unique unquantifiable ways.
Plus, gender itself is a social construct which isn’t even perceived universally as a binary and often is either viewed on a spectrum or a combination of identities which depend on the circumstances. It is Western-centric to perceive it as the dualistic man-woman, and it is blatantly wrong, considering the idea of man versus woman is a religious indoctrination spread by Christianity. If you don’t believe me, please check with the numerous African, and South and East Asian communities who struggle to retain or fight to remember the identities typical of their culture while they’re being bombarded by Western propaganda in the media and religious indoctrination by supposedly well-wishing ministers.
So, this blog author begins by telling us not only that he does not read romance, but that a genre written for women is making a mistake assuming men can be more than sex-crazed, muscle-pumping, emotionally immature, fragile creatures with a drive for overachievement and allergy to housework and childcare. We have of course done a tremendous mistake surrendering to that fantasy, especially since apparently, men don’t portray women in idealistic ways (e.g. promiscuous, beautiful and available, strong on paper but dependant on the protagonist in practice).
You can feel the irony in the last sentence, right? I don’t need to spell it?
Now, this was all clear by the end of the first paragraph, and I was already laughing. By the time I was done reading, I was breathless and wiping tears of hysterical, unseemly, unladylike (lol) cackles. It was great. I have never been so amused especially considering the biggest crime seems to be that fact that romance authors dare say men notice things like the colour of their love interest’s eyes.
See, I always thought Americans were supposed to lead the way in social change. I never quite believed the notion that there were people who thought so extremely like this: that men and women belong in boxes. (You, my folks, have sold the idea of your own superior greatness well, bravo!) I recall reading an article about Russian scientists, who admit to facing sexism at the workplace, but as girls at school or University, it never even occurred to them or their peers, parents, or teachers, that girls cannot and will not excel in any field they would like. I always assumed sexism was subtle and unspoken, especially after we passed 2010, and the conversation about gender seemed to tackle ongoing issues like the Gender Pay Gap and Parental Leave. We talked and are still talking about gender violence, rape culture, and unfair housework distribution.
I never thought we’d still have to come back and talk about the fact that men and women can be whoever the fuck they want.
First and foremost, men have internal monologue. They have emotions. They have thoughts. Aspirations. Beliefs. Passions. Goals. Dreams. Saying men should be written as creatures of single-minded, sex related focus is outrageous and offensive. To men.
Let me say that again: it is offensive to men.
Men are complex. They have internal monologue and they do not think with their penises. This is not a dream and it is not a women’s fantasy. It’s a fact. Men are permitted to have emotions and they are permitted to notice more than the love interest’s boobs when they meet her. (Talking about m/f couple here, specifically.)  
I was laughing so hysterically at this article, because this is the topic we must discuss in this day and age: that men can feel, and that their retinas do not become glued to secondary sexual characteristics when they find a woman attractive.
To the author of that article, I would like to explain to you why are women not only allowed, but should write men in the ways they have so far. You must know this, and so must your like-minded fellow humans.
The Romance Genre has managed to successfully include men who are not committed to macho culture and toxic masculinity. There is a long way to go in literature when it comes to healthy relationships and free gender expression, not to mention intersexionality on religious, ethnic, racial, and sexual orientation aspects, but it has done one thing right at least.
It has told men they are not obligated to be predatory and emotionally constipated, and it has given women hope such men exist. It has given women standards.
Maybe that is what scares you, and the like-minded folk who still roam the shady corners of the 21st century. Maybe it was easier when women were supposed to look for the lad who can protect them and be “the man of the house”. But as times change and gender roles change with them; as gender evolves to be something beautiful and complex and personal, so rises the demand for characters who can do more than throw a punch, tell the woman what to do, silence her with kisses, and occasionally toss her to the wall in wild expression of his animalistic lust.
Men are more. And we demand they are allowed to show it.
Lastly, I would like to leave you with this important note. We do not need advice from men on how to write men. We really don’t – especially unsolicited one from somebody who does not understand the genre and has no idea why it’s popular amongst women.
Women are surrounded by masculinity and patriarchal views. We must by necessity take our examples from men, learn from men's experience, and must relate to men characters or public figures. We know men.
When we write them in ways which is unfamiliar to you it is not because we do not know men, it is simply because we wish to give men freedom to be everything they want.
We’ve got the Romance Genre covered, thanks! ;) 
  Stay readin,
Ro-ri
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tessatechaitea · 8 years ago
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Dark Nights: Metal #1
I thought this series was going to be about how the meta gene is tied into Nth metal and not some fifteen year old metal head's idea of a cool black light poster.
Apparently time travel makes you vomit blood.
I thought the page after that scanned page was going to declare the new age was the Age of the Bat. But it didn't. It declared it was the Age of Metal! After reading that, you're supposed to make guitar noises with your mouth and bang your head and throw up some devil horns. You might even fuck a goat, if you're super cool. I'm not sure when the Age of Metal began. There was the Golden Age and the Silver Age and the Modern Age (and maybe some other metallic ages I don't remember). Perhaps the Age of Metal just means the time when superhero comics began? Or did the Age of Metal start when Peter David gave Aquaman long hair and a hook for a hand? Mongul currently has the Justice League battling for their life on his new Warworld. This takes place almost immediately after Mongul was punched into orbit by General Zod, so editorial demanded that Batman mention something about how this makes no sense, continuity-wise. He doesn't say it to help explain it! He just says it because editorial was all, "You know we're going to get buttfucked hard on this by the Fangenders¹, right? You need to get out in front of this shit." And Snyder was all, "Okay, okay. Batman will be all, 'This doesn't make sense!' But then Superman will be all, 'Stop over thinking things, you stupid fucking hypocritical moron living in your parents' basement and not adding any value to anything because all you do is destroy things with your Internet criticisms!'" And the editor was all, "Yeah, maybe that. But tone it the fuck down. You're sounding like Cullen Bunn anonymously defending his shitty Twat Lobo comics on harsh but hilarious blogs offering valid critical reviews." The Justice League's powers have been rendered inert by...well, it doesn't really matter what by. It's the same old shit as usual. The heroes are too powerful so to create dramatic tension, you remove their powers. Snyder does offer a few ways that their powers can be dampened by invoking red sons and vibration domination technology and Gorgon pasties just so the Fangenders can nod enthusiastically and think, "Yep! Yep! They should have seen this coming! This is just like Justice League #45²! Idiots." Of course, those are the powers with fairly easy explanations for how to suppress them. He doesn't explain how he's keeping Cyborg from utilizing his Mother Box technology. Or how Green Lantern's ring isn't working (although, I mean, really? It's probably just out of charge like in 95% of Green Lantern comic books). And how did he stop Aquaman from talking to fish? Oh, you know what. Mongul probably decided Aquaman could keep his stupid power. Oh, just so Scott Snyder doesn't feel like he was being too subtle, I got it. It's the Metal Age and the entire Justice League is being forced to wear armor by Mongul!
Some of it is super sexy titty fucking armor!
Toyman has also been captured by Mongul, probably because Scott Snyder needed enemies that the Justice League could kill without Batman getting on everybody's dick about murder. Toyman tells Mongul the name of the toys that will kill the Justice League is Fulcum Abominus. Mongul pulls out his dick and begins sucking it because he's smarter than me and that apparently means something to him. I shouldn't feel too stupid though because why should I have known what a fulcum is? I've never owned a Warworld and seemed to have missed the adolescent phase where Roman soldiers intrigued me as much as women's nipples. I suppose the name means the Justice League will be battling an abominable shield wall? A close formation made up of Yetis? Or maybe just a few transforming robots.
Judging by Mongul and the crowd's reaction, the Aegea Formation must be where the Justice League creates an illusion that they're running away. Either that or this is Greg Capullo's way of telling Snyder to fuck off because he's going to draw whatever the fuck he wants.
I'm not four years old so the crowd chanting "Do not run! Pain is fun!" doesn't amuse me. It does make me question why I've spent so much of my life reading comic books though. It's at this point during the battle that I need to apologize to Scott Snyder. It's my first apology of the new season but it won't be my last. The problem with writing the critique as I'm experiencing the "art" is that I tend to point out flaws before the artist has a chance to finish. It's like when I'm in the middle of cleaning a floor and somebody thinks they're the next George Burns and says, "You missed a spot!"³ So, um, my apology is that I assumed Snyder couldn't think of ways to dampen the powers of the other Justice League. But he continues explaining how they've all been shut down. Green Lantern's gauntlet has a mini-black hole. And you know what they say about black holes when they're not making anus jokes, right?! Not even Green Lantern light can escape! Plus it's a mini-black hole so don't worry about how heavy and dense it is. Even though it must be even denser than a non-mini black hole if it can still capture light in its gravitational pull. And Aquaman has lost half of his strength to the vambraces made from glass forged in the heat of Apokolips! Each creature in the Fulcum Abominus has been designed to counter one of the Justice League members. So not only do they not have their usual powers, they have to battle creatures that wouldn't care if they had those powers anyway! Wonder Woman can't even outsmart hers because it has a Cassandra Engine! And we all know what that means! Well, most of us do. Those who don't can always watch old reruns of Red Dwarf. I hope the solution to defeating the Fulcum Abominus isn't to switch opponents because that's been done fifteen thousand times. Although it would be more original than just having Batman defeat them all after the rest of the Justice League are incapacitated. That's been done about sixteen thousand times. I can't think of any other way this conflict might end. Maybe it'll have something to do with the metal! Or maybe Toyman will have programmed the Fulcum Abominus to turn on Mongul once he's done sucking his dick. He'll be drained and distracted at that point! Batman comes up with a plan to be eaten by Toyman's machines. He comes up with it the way Dr. House came up with solutions to his medical mysteries. You know how somebody would say just the right word and he'd sort of glaze over into a fugue state for a few seconds before snapping back and yelling, "I am a genius! You people are all idiots! And this show shits on the scientific process to pander to people who believe intuition is some magic panacea that comes out of the ether!" Anyway, Wonder Woman says "Formation" and Batman is all, "That's it! Formation! These machines were formated by Toymanster! If I reach into the gaping maw of this one, I'm sure to find a WayneTech Emergency Shutdown Switch!" Or something. I mean, there is a button in the creature's throat and it does have a bat on it and Batman does push it. But it doesn't shut the thing off at all. It just makes it eat Batman. By pushing the buttons in the throat of the creature (which Batman realized by knowing that the command to form the fulcum formation was done by a cry from the back of the throat (because Batman knows everything (which means Toyman must know everything because you can't give subtle clues to people who know everything if you're a dumbshit like me...I mean Mongul))), the Justice League turn the machines into Voltron armor. This allows them to "form up" like the Roman formation and turn into a giant robot. Batman is the head, of course. Aquaman is the balls.
Is that why Snyder introduced the stupid rhyming chant earlier when it made no sense because the Justice League wasn't running? Just so Batman can act childish now? Eh, works for me! I mean, I'm the guy who chose to write that Aquaman was the giant robot's balls.
Instead of saying "ass" on the next page, Snyder inserts the title page and credits. Apparently the logo for Metal is a Satanic Hexagram. Can hexagrams be Satanic? They made it into a six pointed star but not so that it looks like the Star of David. It's got some bend to it. But the star is enclosed in a circle with symbols at each point. Those symbols are combinations of Justice League symbols and the bat symbol. So Wonder Wobatman and Superbatman and Aquabatman and Black Computer Batman and Green Lanterbatman and the other one. It's totally metal. Also the word metal is textured like the bumper on a pickup truck. Is that metal? I mean, it's metal, literally. But is it metal, 80's figuratively? When the Justice League return to Earth, they find a mountain has appeared in the middle of Gotham. Apparently it didn't kill too many people because the city somehow made room for it. But Batman is still upset by it for some reason. Probably because he's thinking about how he vowed to never let anybody else be crushed by a mountain after his parents were crushed by that mountain in that alley. The Flash finds a door inside the mountain with a pseudo-Challengers of the Unknown symbol on it. It's an hour glass with most of the sand in the bottom half. That's probably not a good sign, right? Inside the door, they find a cryogenic pod with five people inside. I bet one is a white woman, one is a white man with blond hair, one is a white man with brown hair, one is a black man, and one is white man with red hair! Nearby the pod is Red Tornado. They don't seem to recognize him even though earlier somebody mentioned Aquaman's hook hand. If they remember that, they should surely remember Red Tornado! The Blackhawks appear, led by Lady Blackhawk, Kendra Saunders. Get it?! She's still a hawk! Oh, Scott Snyder! You're so fucking clever! I bet Geoff Johns hates the fuck out of you. It always hurts to be usurped. I imagine. Nobody has ever been able to usurp me. Or wanted to? Lady Blackhawk tells everybody that this is the start of an invasion but she can't tell them who is doing the invading. That's called dramatic tension! It's also called bullshit writing. Just fucking say it, you resurrected nutcase! Instead of revealing cool shit, she spends a few pages taking everybody to Blackhawk Island where she has a map of Grant Morrison's Multiversity. She's all, "Nth metal is this thing that's behind all these things. It's such a crazy thing! Hawkman, the most boring hero in the Multiverse after Aquaman, has been studying it his entire lives! Yeah, you heard me right! I said lives! He decided it didn't come from anywhere in the known Multiverse through assumptions and poor science. Unless over the course of all his lives, he had time to use good science? You know what? Who cares? Just believe me when I say it must have come from somewhere else. He didn't know where until he binged Stranger Things last year and Eleven turned over the Dungeons and Dragons map. That's when he was all, 'A-ha! That's the one place on the map I didn't search! The other side of it! The dark side of it! The Dark Multiverse! And now that I've decided that the known Multiverse is much like a two dimensional representation of it, the other side of the map must exist in reality! A Dark Multiverse!'" "I'm not the worst," mumbled Aquaman.
Ha ha! Wanting proof! How silly!
I like how Kendra wanted proof of Carter's theory which caused Carter to want to prove her wrong. What the fuck does that mean?! You don't prove somebody wrong who just wants some evidence that your theory is reality! You just prove your stupid theory. I already hate this new version of Hawkman. Yes, I'm biased because I've hated every version of Hawkman so I didn't have far to go to hate this one. But I hate him more passionately than I ever hated the other ones and I haven't even met this one yet! The other ones I just sort of hated for no real reason. This one is a scientific idiot. Kendra isn't much for science either. She just found the word wagon over and over again because a wagon would carry a dark beast named Barbatos from the Dark Multiverse into the Non-Dark Multiverse. And then she decided that Wagon was the root of the name Wayne (you know, wainwright? Wains! Wagons!) which must mean that the Wagon was Batman and he was the bad guy. That's when the Blackhawks pull their guns on Batman. But they don't shoot him in the face for some reason. Some heroes they are! Red Tornado begins screaming about the door being left open which probably saves Batman's life. He then flips the fuck out which means he'll be dismembered in a few pages. His stories always end in dismemberment. Batman steals Kendra's Nth Metal and races back to the Batcave to destroy the Multiverse in the pursuit of knowledge. The Nth Metal reveals Carter Hall's diary hidden in Wayne Manor. It's there to tell Batman he was right to pursue whatever he's been pursuing. The mysteries of the Nth Metal, I guess. And once he's been proving right, he's visited by Dream of The Endless. Well. I guess Snyder can still surprise me without me needing to make a snarky comment about how dumb his twist is. I don't know why Dream has appeared but it's pretty cool that he's been allowed back into the regular DC Universe. I'll say this about Metal: it's entertaining and interesting. But it's also built upon the dumb shit that Scott Snyder likes to build his retcons. So far we've learned that the Meta-gene is actually the Metal Gene because Nth Metal is behind all superpowers. We also learned that Nth Metal couldn't have come from anywhere in the DC Multiverse so it must have come from the other side of a two-dimensional representation of the Multiverse. I know that's just a metaphor but I bring it up because it's a metaphor from Stranger Things. The other big twist is that Wayne means wagon. In both the meta/metal and wagon/Wayne plot elements, we see the thing Scott Snyder bases almost all of his stories on. He starts small by looking at words and their meanings to expand those observations into a bigger story. Usually I'm just annoyed by them. But this time, he gets to really fuck around with the DC Universe by making this Nth metal/meta-gene connection and I'm always up for a good buttfucking of the DC Universe. Oh yeah! How can I mention all the word play without mentioning the Dark Nights title of the series? Oh, probably because it's been used before. But this time it's the Dark Nights bring the Dark Knights of the Dark Multiverse! It's boner and/or lubrication inducing! _________________________________________________________ ¹"Fangenders" is my inclusive term for what was once thought of as Fanboys. Being an obnoxious comic book know-it-all knows no gender boundary. ²I don't actually know what happens in Justice League #45. But if you were instantly angry at my lack of knowledge, you're a Fangender. That was the whole point, dum-dum! ³I have a floor cleaning business. This isn't just an analogy of a thing I rarely do. It happens all the time. I'm getting angry just thinking about it! I should probably footnote George Burns as well but what's the point? You have access to the fucking Internet, lazy!
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chuckdraug · 8 years ago
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“Don’t complain, it’s just a game”
This is a translation - and at some extent rewording - of a post on my Spanish blog that I finally decided to post here as well.
WARNING: Before you start reading the actual post, please follow the links down here since these posts where the ones that made me write mine, and because context is important:
«What We Talk About, When We Don't Talk About Natives», by Dia Lacina (English)
«Resulta que Horizon Zero Dawn también es ofensivo», by Juan Tejerina (Spanish), though Google-translated here
Hope you are ready now.
--- 
Yes, this very post here comes from an opinion article published on the Games Tribune Magazine web (I'll just name GTM as the platform where it was posted in due respect to their ethical code, despite this being their vicedirector's opinion) as a reply to an article regarding cultural appropriation and native Americans on fiction due to the PS4's latest hit, "Horizon Zero Dawn".
I didn't want to talk about this. In fact, for some days... well, no, hours I didn't say a thing on Twitter aside from replying to some people. But everyone has a limit to their patience, and so I hit mines and wanted to come to my egocentric Internet corner and say what I want to say.
I'm not going to talk about cultural appropriation nor about colonialism nor about how "HZD" borrows from native Amercians, celtics, vikings, ainus or whatever. I haven't played the game and I'm an ignorant on those topics, so I better not say a thing about it. I want to talk of what I know, of something I could be blamed for in the past - and maybe at times in the present day -, and that is clear on the GTM post: whenever someone complains, critics or just expresses themselves regarding a social topic on fiction and/or real life we just say they overreact.
There's one big trouble when we just tell people they overreact whenever they have something to say in those matters, or if their opinion just differs from ours. We say they get offended so easily.
So in this particular case, Dia Lacina points out her problems about topics she knows about on a game that's actually getting a pretty good reception and its protagonist, Aloy, is seen as a good example of female protagonist. A huge step, specially when you see a lot of women talking about their experience with Aloy, what they feel with her. Representation matters, as they always say.
But... No work is perfect, and the fact we advance in some social topics doesn't mean everything is done, as there's a lot to do yet. Lacina's post not only talks about the problems she sees on "HZD" when it comes to racial and cultural matters, but on how native Americans are often portrayed on fictional works. This doesn't mean Aloy being an empowered female protagonist is of no avail, it only points out that even if we get things right in some parts, others still need more work, there's a big picture and we have only retouched a speck on it.
What happens then? Tejerina's reply is nothing but a new evidence of what we usually do: we label these critics, complains and even just opinions and points of view as suspicious, as exaggerated, as weird and out of place. The general feeling I get from his words is the classic white cishet male speech of everyone else is overreacting, that they whine with no reason and are complaining and taking the fun away. You know, their usual speech of deeming others as haters, as Social Justice Warriors (SJWs) or as supporters of a politically correct dictatorship.
But am I going to sum his text up as just "you complain about everything"? Sure not, but that point is still there and I'm not going to ignore it. Though truly, it goes beyond that.
It goes beyond when he compares Lacina's post with the reaction of the Spanish media with the "katana murderer" case many years ago, and how they related the murderer to "Final Fantasy VIII" and its main character, Squall Lionheart, to the point of claiming that such murderer got his looks from Squall - he was just a regular Spanish guy, not some Squall impersonator.
To make it clear, Tejerina is comparing Lacina's point of view to that of media wanting first pages and their minutes of fame around a murder. Yes, he's doing that: he's comparing the vultures of the Spanish media to a native American's point of view regarding a videogame.
Yes, we can go this low.
So Lacina posted her criticism on the Internet. She made it public, she wanted to show it. Oh geez! She's expressing herself and you come here and accuse her of looking for her five minutes of fame.
Oh, but it doesn't end here. But first, some context.
Recently in Spain, the Catholic organization "Hazte Oír" sponsored a bus where you could clearly read "Boys have penises, girls have vulvas" in a "deal with it" tone, claiming it was biological evidence even though biologists everywhere called that bullshit. "Hazte Oír" is a bunch of people who repeatedly show how sexist, homophobic, transphobic and many-other-things they are.
Well, what does it have to with these posts? At the end of his, Tejerina pointed out that what Lacina wrote isn't important, and so isn't any social opinion on matters like sexism or transphobia.
He considers this kind of opinions responsible for dividing the gaming community to the point we look at each other as enemies - say what?! really?! That and the fact those opinions don’t focus on “the real enemy” he points out: the right-wing bastards who are ruining our lives, and the religious indoctrination many of us have gone through since we were toddlers.
So in Tejerina's opinion, you talking about sexism or cultural appropriation isn't that important compared to ditching Trump, Rajoy and the Catholic Church. Because you can't talk about both things, you either complain on one or another. So yes, the feeling you get with the final paragraphs of his text is that you wanting to be treated as the human being you are isn’t as valuable as talking about other problems.
It's clear, right? We, the white cishet males - though some would argue about me being white because I'm a Spaniard - have no problems at all, and every time a woman, a PoC or LGBT person gives their point of view, we feel uneasy, to say the least. We, the privileged ones, look down at them and ditch them for making us feel uncomfortable, how dare they do that?!
And when we feel uncomfortable, uneasy, instead of listening to them, on analyzing ourselves and the world we live in, we say that they are whiners and haters complaining on everything. We call them SJWs, we call them feminazis, we call them lots of names. We say they only want some Internet fame. We tell them to shut up.
And if you had a bad experience with a feminist or PoC or whatever, you quickly label all of them as people you cannot reason with, but the very moment we are called for something due to the injustice in the current status quo, we are eager to yell NOT ALL MEN. 
Don't you see it? We say they whine, when we are the ones actually whining. And why? Because for us, it's easier and makes us comfortable.
It's easier if we claim we live in a politically correct dictatorship instead of looking at yourself and seeing what's wrong with you. Why? We are Always Right™, how can we be wrong?! 
 It's easier when you say "it's only a game" without thinking on why someone else feels uneasy. We can separate facts from fiction, but those works of fiction can be analyzed, specially when looking at real life. They have their context.
(I'd like to point out here that Tejerina himself told me that with that paragraph I was actually supporting his views because "if we kept thinking of what might upset someone, if we over-analyzed everything, we wouldn't create anything"... it's true that we won't please everyone, it's impossible, but it is his - and many others’ - way to get the focus on something else so he - and anyone else - won’t feel guilty. If we show our works, people can give their opinions on them, and that includes any social views. And that kind of feedback is actually important, not just for our works, but for us as social people.)
It's easier if we think that these people want to take the fun away from us, even though they claim that you can enjoy something despite its problems - it's OK while you acknowledge those problems. We say that they hate our hobbies instead of listening to them and looking at these problems and thinking why they are... well, problems.
It's easier if we say "I'm not like that, don't you dare blame me for that" because the fact that our society isn’t fair is proof enough of how right they are. We might think we are the "nice guys", but no one is a saint, you know the current situation benefits you and you only, and you don't want to share it. Also, these changes won't be immediate, they need a lot of time, yet we complain at the slightest evidence.
I'm sure you've heard and read this from people who are way smarter than I am. Still, I wanted to say it as well.
Because I'm tired of this shit.
Because minorities and the oppressed express themselves - freedom of speech, remember? -, yet instead of listening to them we try to shut them up, we want to turn their opinions and criticism into babycries. We tell them they criticize everything - "you see sexism everywhere!" is the first claim that comes to my mind.
We, the privileged, don't wanna accept their points of view, because by doing so we will see how wrong we are, how society made us this way, how it has spoiled us in believing we are special snowflakes that should step on those who are different from us, calling them weak and despicable and not fit to live like us.
This is hatred mixed with fear to them. We fear that we are wrong, that we aren't the kings of the hill anymore, that we aren't those nice guys and snowflakes society told us we were. There is no perfect being since we ALL are humans.
We are scared of reality and of being stupid, so instead of listening and reviewing our very acts and behavior... we protect our egos, our pride, and we ditch those who are different, we blame them for our insecurity, we hate them. And in the process, we demonstrate that we are stupid. And full of hate.
It's frightening. It's embarrassing. It's horrible.
It isn't just about fiction. It is about the reality we live in. It is about us hating on those who aren't like us, on stripping them of their humanity, because it is easier if you treat a woman/PoC/LGBT as less than human beings. Who cares how others feel if I can feel OK with myself? Who cares if the only way to be in harmony is by making other people feel miserable and inferior to me?
No one wants to be told that they're doing wrong. But surprise! We will fail a lot of times - and I'm pretty sure this post of mine is full of mistakes. Even if it upsets us, wake up and smell the ashes: perfection does not exist. No one says this is easy.
We, the privileged, instead of whining, should sit down, listen to other people and learn from them. And even shut up, because we think we are the protagonists, but no, at best we are support characters in this fight.
But what if you don't wanna do it? You're free to choose your destiny. Just deal with the consequences of your choice, no option is free of them. I can go and support these people and I know there will be other people out there saying that I've been brainwashed or that I'm a white knight or whatever. I know and I have to deal with that.
And I’m glad of my choice.
Truly, if it weren't for the whole Gamergate shitstorm, I'd be one of those people who would never, ever, get to think of what they are doing and how it affects others. I would be one of those saying that "it's just a game". I'm happy I'm not one of them. At least, most of the time.
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bayonologues · 7 years ago
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26 was weird
01 November 2018
I'm a few days shy of turning 27 and I feel like I have to write something. I have this self-imposed expectation that I have processed the past 12 months of being 26, and now, I will have to arrange my takeaways into a tiny package with a red ribbon around it and present them to my public blog.
The truth is - it's been a weird, confusing year. But it's my favorite life year so far. This year dragged on a bit only because I actively participated in life. I have a tiny calendar on my office desk and I cross out the days that pass by. Not a single day came and went without etching its mark in the tiny corners of my consciousness. I felt every single day.
Maybe it's been a weird year because I'm finally owning up to becoming a fully-fledged adult. I know we're a generation that is hell-bent on staying young and nursing our Peter Pan syndrome for as long as we can. But there comes a point when the same old narrative you tell yourself since you were a fresh grad gets old - you know, that idealistic "the world is my oyster, you can't dull my sparkle" story the voices in your head tells you. But like I said, shit gets old. Some of things you hold on to so dearly won't quite hold much weight and bearing as you get older.
One day you think you’re going to be hotshot independent filmmaker, the next day, you’re faced with your average skills and limited resources. Over time, we come to terms with the reality of our lives and gradually let go of pipe dreams that don’t seem to be as pressing and as important as they seem. 
Once you reach a certain age, and watch enough Hallmarky films, you're going to realize it's time to start thinking about a life that doesn't only contain yourself. I've seen A LOT of Hallmarky films and engaged in A LOT of Hallmarky conversations this year and they all uncovered my secret desire to be *drum roll * a great mom. I can't be a great mom (by my standards, someone who has a good career, but is also emotionally available, domesticated and can exchange secrets with her kid like Lorelai and Rory) if I don't embrace adulthood with open arms. Great moms hold responsibilities with real life consequences. AND they process government paperwork without shrugging their shoulders the entire time.
So, that's one. I woke up my maternal instincts.
Another thing? I openly recognized my depressive and anxious personality type and I am actively doing something to keep it at bay. I am not clinically diagnosed, but certain episodes have sent me to a black hole around mid-year (when I thought I could be a lawyer and quit a creative career entirely HA-HA). Do you know what saved me? MEDITATION. That, and exploring other schools of thought, specifically Buddhism, Stoicism and countless Ted talks.
I have never really understood what "peace of mind" meant until I could hold myself down to do an unguided meditation session for 40 minutes straight, and actually love it. 
It's becoming apparent to me that Catholic teachings further fan the flames of my inner demons. Heck, maybe getting indoctrinated by them for 18 years of my life even helped form those demons. So that's also one thing I decided on this year - I'm not ascribing to any organized religions anymore. Of course, I believe in a Divine Being. I mean, there's got to be Someone running the show right? A sunrise just couldn’t exist without a Master of colorful hues, beauty and vitamin D creating it. But I'm not quite sure Who could He/She be. Plus, I agree with Ari. God could really be a woman (?!). 
You see, five years ago, I would never entertain this thought. I’d beat myself for even having doubts. But at 26, I explored the big, scary questions that I can never have answers to. Yep, the unexplored life isn’t worth living.
I guess... the existential crisis never goes away. It transforms into a different kind with each passing year. The same goes with loneliness. (Yep, that was my attempt at a smooth transition)
This year was the year I decided to actively put my heart on my sleeve. I made a few attempts, but like what most stupid boy penises can only bring, I cried myself to sleep listening to soft boi music (I'm looking at you Lauv and LANY). It was fun, and emotionally tormenting and it briefly ruined my life. But did I mention that it was fun? I want to repeat the process all over again - all the good, bad and ugly parts of it.
I'll never get used to loneliness. Love is all that it's hyped to be.
Last part of this rambling blog post goes out to my friends. I will always remember one particular Ted talk that taught me that the good life is built on good relationships. My best relationship are my friendships. Thanks for seeing things through with me even if I sounded like a pathetic loser wallowing on her own puddle of tears on several occasions. You were there at my most vulnerable, and you were there when I emerged as a stronger woman with her perfectly-threaded eyebrows in check. I can't remember how many times I tweeted - I love my friends - this year. 
So that's about it. That ends my 26th year on Earth.
I hope I make better choices (okay, a few stupid ones are still permissible), spend more time outdoors, learn a new language, read more books, and give a fuck to people who matter on my 27th year.
I love my life, to be completely honest. And that's a big declaration.
“I've been floating idly in the remaining days of my 25th year on earth. I can't tell the days of the week apart. They're all the same - spent lying on a nimbus cloud hovering over the gentle nudges of my childhood, the distant silhouette of an elusive future, and the heavy existence of now. 
I may have gotten a serious case of the birthday blues. 
It's been a month since I stopped writing. Work has been quiet, maybe a little too silent that it has rendered me deaf. The absence of noise has led me to wander in the black hole of my mind, and I'm falling - fallen - in the rut of the whys and hows of life once again. 
I crippled myself in the fall, and it is only I that can pull myself to stand up again.” (Written on 30 October 2017)
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davidsilvercloud · 7 years ago
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Terry David “Butch/Butch Naked” Silvercloud
"Step aside!  I shall perform the necessary heroics"  Comic Book Guy/The Simpsons
"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T. S. Eliot
....... The DAILY GRIND.....  what's up today.
11.4 Million photo views, to date at http://ButchNaked.com.  Thank you.
My homepage is http://ButchBoard.com
Now keep reading.
Sunday, 26 November, 2017.  Cool and grey in Vancouver.  The day began with sun but the clouds moved in by 10am, raining by noon.
Sunday is my day of rest... a day I don't exercise on purpose.  Staying in shape requires work... watching your diet and regular exercise.  I do sit ups, toe touching, and light weights... 8lb dumb bells.  I'm 73 and it is work but, no pain no gain.
I'm still trying to do selfies each day to record my body and try to get a boner shot or two in the mix.  A guy's bone becomes less co-operative after about age 25 so it's easier at certain times of day than others.  I love sex and blowing my load and make no apologies for being sexual.  Humans are animal in nature and should learn to appreciate our animal instincts and feelings... including sex.  Masturbation is good for a boy's prostate so blow your load regularly... make room for fresh sperm.
Some guys are circumcised and some aren't... it's not usually the guy's decision about those things.  If you are Jewish or Muslim, you will be snipped when you are very young and won't remember the snipping.  Since about a third of the world's population is Jewish or Muslim we can assume about one in three guys are snipped and it's mostly Asians who are uncircumcised as well as Roman Catholics living in Africa or South America.
Most boys in America were snipped in the past century until lately.  Since the 1980's fewer western boys have their foreskins removed as a child and we now have large numbers of uncircumcised men in the Western World.  That is not really a problem except that almost none of the uncircumcised boys were ever taught how to care for their uncut dicks... there are some pretty dirty, smelly and ugly penises out there.
The object of circumcision was about health and identity... a sign of one's faith.  Women didn't count in those days... they were for childbearing purposes and looking after the home.  I mention this because you may be one of those uncut guys who was never taught to look after you weenie and keep it clean... also pull back the foreskin when young or you will have permanent problems with it... your foreskin must be able to be retracted.  If it doesn't you should have a chat with your doctor about that issue... it is an issue.
Today's lesson:  I hate religions... all of them.  Nothing is eviler than religion.  Today I want to mention Islam and Alexander the Great.  Alexander is called Dhul-Qarayn in the Qu'ran and he appears in book 18:84.  The problem is that Alexander is described as somebody who seems to have worshiped a single 'god' or was somehow blessed by "God".  Anyone who knows anything about the Ancient Greeks will know that they had multiple 'gods'.  Alexander was noted, however, for tolerance of other people's faiths and did support the Jews to the point he had Alexandria built as a refuge for them.  Why Alexander is mentioned, at all, in the Qu'ran is a kind of mystery and there is no evidence he ever supported one religion over another, nor that he worshipped any 'god' at all.
That Alexander is a bit hazy in the Qu'ran is no surprise... he lived one thousand years BEFORE the invention of Islam.  It is interesting that he is mentioned, at all.
There is no Hell in the Old or New Testaments except as mistranslations.  Jesus never tough punishment.  Jesus taught forgiveness.  Hell was a major feature of the Qu'ran... do what you're told or burn in Hell, forever.  The Christians were quick to adopt the idea after the 12th century when they discovered Islam.  In not time, at all, people were being burned alive by self-appointed representatives of 'god' who called themselves Christians... the Roman Catholic Church.  The Roman Catholic Church is among the evilest institutions on the planet.  I said it, I mean it.  The Bible predicted that nations and kings would be fooled for a thousand years... the time of the church is over.  They shall be held accountable, their properties seized, and the teaching of religion will become a crime in the future.
"Why does God always need money?"  Bart Simpson/The Simpsons
Your HISTORY FACTOID for today.  Magellan never did sail around the world.  He tried to convert some natives to Christianity, in the Philippines, and died with a spear in his gut.  The remaining crews wanted to go back home but were afraid of the headhunters to the West.  One crew took their chances with the Head Hunters, sailed west, and eventually made it back to Portugal.  The 'fraidy cats' took the back up ship and chose to sail East, the way they came from... most died of starvation, cannibalism, and scurvy.  Magellan never did make it around the world.  Yup.  
THIS IS THE END OF THE DAILY GRIND.
.............................
http://DavidSilvercloud.com (Blog)    (http://David_Silvercloud.Tumblr.com)
http://ButchNews.com (Video)     (http://YouTube.com/ButchNews)
http://ButchNaked.com (Photo Stream)    (http://Flickr.com/David_Silvercloud)
http://SeriousThunder.com (Art)
http://ElectronSpeed.Tumblr.com (Physics... The Speed of Light, Grand Unified Theory, Gravity, Dark Matter, Dark Energy... how the physical size of the Electron is the clock that sets the speed of light.  Gravity is motion and a product of the fact that nothing ever sits still, combined with the magnetic properties of Dark Matter/Energy.  Nothing can ever move in an absolute circle and rest is a relativity illusion.  Absolute rest is not possible... ever.  The universe can not end.  Time is change and is an illusion.  It is always now, everywhere, all at once, all of the time. Proof of that is that ANY object MUST be HERE and THERE at the SAME time, no matter how large... even a Galaxy.  It is always NOW on both sides... here and there, in space,  of the Galaxy... all galaxies, everywhere.  Waves can be either physical or electronic.  The duality of the universe keeps it ongoing.  DNA is the battery of life.  When the chains can no longer co-operate, life ceases in the body.  Life, itself, is a duality.  Time measurement is a relativity convenience.)
Earth travels through space like a long wave... it has NEVER, ever made an actual circle, nor ellipse, in space.  The circle/ellipse is an illusion of relativity.  Nothing can ever travel in an actual circle in space... NOTHING.  Nothing can ever go backward.  Backwards motion is an illusion of relativity.
WATCH VIDEO FOR EXPLANATION OF THE PATH OF EARTH THROUGH SPACE.  Earth moves about 7 billion kilometers through space, each year... in a long wave.  Earth NEVER returns to where it was before.  Earth is NOT an island in space... one of the reasons why time travel is impossible.  If you take a trip through space, outside the Solar System, Earth will NOT be there when you return... it will be far, far away.  You will have to return to where it will BE when you arrive... remember, it's moving very, very, very fast through space in a long wave... never a circle, or ellipse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPjohZCMwmI
http://The-Shape-Of-God.Tumbler.com   Manuscript of my book... The Shape of God. Butch, himself.  Visual Artist, Photographer, Physicist (Particle, Sub/Atomic Physics/Relativity)
Inhibitions are just so inhibiting, I avoid them.
I'm a friendly, but pretty blunt, kind of guy.  No time for beating around the bush.  I like to say what I mean and mean what I say.  I'm 73 years old.  Time is not on my side.  You don't have to like me.  I'm a social recluse, anyway.  I share my life, in photos, video, and words, to let you into my life and hope to inspire you to be a productive and useful human.  I have old age issues but will continue to post, here, while I'm well and able.  I talk a lot... I'm told it's part of my OCD and ADHD.  Come direct at http://ButchNaked.com  Sign in if you wish to see me naked.
If you don't know me, the following might help you get to know what kind of person I am.  I don't expect you to understand me.  I can be a bit OCD and ADHD.
"They've already got more blowjobs than we'll ever get"  Steve Smith (American Dad), talking about college jocks.
"Now let us touch testicles and mate for life"  Alien on The Simpsons
"It never hurts to have a second set of prints on a gun"  Nelson Muntz, The Simpsons.
I'm here to teach you things.  While I appreciate other people's opinions, I really don't much give a crap what anyone thinks.  Until you prove your worth, I will be nice but you have to earn my respect. The moment you say a word, I'll be figuring you out really, really fast.  You should assume that I don't trust anyone.  I've not met a single trustworthy person in my entire life.  I've met lots of nice people who aren't too bright... well-intentioned folk who know little about anything, people who are nice, most of the time until you say something that offends them.  Honourable people agree to disagree.
Look up the phrase "CRITICAL THINKING" then learn to practice it.  Most people leap before they look and judge before they listen to the facts.  Most don't have enough knowledge, nor experience, to be experts in much of anything.  You don't know what you don't know.  I like to remind you of that, often.
The only other REALLY IMPORTANT thing to know about me is that I, totally, despise all religions, the teaching of religion, and religious institutions... I despise them as the evilest things on the planet.  If you follow a religion, you CAN NOT BE MY FRIEND.   THAT'S THAT.  You are an ignorant idiot who is an ever-present danger to yourself and everyone and everything around you.  Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, is eviler than religion.  I don't stand for, nor sing, our National Anthem because it praises a fictitious and superstitious being called 'God'.  Only a brain dead moron bonehead ignorant idiot would believe such a thing.
If you have a religion, I will not associate with you... period.  You are a danger to be around.  Yes, I insult religions... they are extraordinarily evil.  I said it, I mean it.  You have a right to be an idiot, but not around me.  I have a right to defend myself against the horrors of religion and I will.  Religion is evil.  I can't say it enough times.
http://The-Shape-Of-God.Tumblr.com
I keep a homepage at http://ButchBoard.com
You may come directly to my photostream at http://ButchNaked.com
You must sign in to see me naked.  You may download and share nude photos of me... go nuts. GOOGLE my name (Terry David Silvercloud or David Silvercloud) for more information.
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lind40lundqvist-blog · 8 years ago
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What Are The Effects Caused By Hooking?
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