#BUT we ARE
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Today's (and all of the next 7 days, really) vibe:
We will all be very hydrated... very soon. (I'm sure they won't cry... you have to have a soul for that, but they'll rage)
#we're so close#and they are nowhere near ready#but we are#911 abc#nquesu wanna block#911 discourse#911 spoilers#911 show#bucktommy#lou ferrigno jr
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Being a Charles Leclerc fan is just epic highs on Saturday to epic lows on Sunday
#ferrari if you fuck it up this time🔪#also we're SO back (no we're not)#but we are#charles leclerc#mexico gp 2023
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crying because the history of humanity is one of incredible suffering, but also incredible resilience.
we’ve TRIED, goddamnit, and we’re STILL TRYING because the alternative is giving up.
and we’re living creatures. our instinct is to survive with one another and live as well as we can.
you DO have the power to change the world for the better, i promise.
i love you.
#i MAY have actually cried about this on the plane earlier#not in reference to anything specific - it’s just everything#every single thing#it’s incredible that any of us are still here#but we are#so let’s do our best#i believe in us
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Not so gentle reminder that this is an 18+ blog. If an age indicator is not easily available to me, I will assume you're a minor and block you. No hesitation. No mercy.
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Sorry but if you really think that choosing not to vote for Joe Biden in the 2024 election is a good decision, please unfollow me and/or delete me as a follower. There is no situation in which any of the republican nominees would not be worse than Biden, and there is no other viable democratic or third party candidate. Like. I’m sorry but there’s just no way that’s going to happen, and the only other options are Donald Trump or Donald Trump wannabes. If I see another post saying that not voting for Biden is a good decision, I may for serious lose my mind. Do us both a favor get that sheer stupidity off my dashboard
#like i remember 2016#i remember the years since#voting trump is a death sentence#and any vote that’s not for biden is a vote for trump#like i’m sorry but that’s where we’re at rn United States#it would be better if we weren’t#but we are#so fucking act like it
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Hey, you, with the trauma.
You're beautiful, you know that? Every time you fall apart, as you stand back up again and wipe the metaphorical dust off, you're exactly the figure that people make art about. You are a living breathing testament to human will, and no matter what you've been through, and how many times you've fucked up in your attempts to cope, I love you. I think your joy is important, and I know you can get there. It may take a while to feel out the footing, but you will make it out of your pit. I'm proud of you whether or not you feel like giving up right now. Truly.
After all, despite everything, you're still you!
#ptsd#trauma#sorry i have a lot of emotions regarding my trauma#and a coworker and I discussed our traumas together today#i know they try to fetishize our bravery at surviving what we went thru...but we are brave. we shouldnt have to be#but we are
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Researching even more about Lord Byron, Glenarvon, The Lambs (Caro and William), and other studyblr/gradblr adjacent activity.
Here have a picture of Caro and William Lamb too, while we're here.
Yeah, so that thesis I was dreaming of and joking about years ago is a reality now. Get used to hearing about my weird ranting about Byron, his ex girlfriend and her husband because I know too much about these people. :P
BONUS: There will also be related Wuthering Heights and Emily Bronte ranting too. Because my project also involves her too. :)
#That's my first drawing in a while#call me delulu lemon because I never thought we'd be here#BUT we ARE#grad school#grad school life#I will dig up and repost my old content related to this I swear#william lamb#lord melbourne#caro lamb#lady caroline lamb#lord byron#glenarvon#emily bronte#wuthering heights#bipolar disorder#bipolar#actually bipolar
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I thought he said he was going to stop dragging that corpse around
#I don't know why Spotify thought this warranted of push notification but#we're here now#I wish we weren't#but we are#soooooo#I guess he's never going to let this one go#panic at the disco#it's still alive.... I guess
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How long can I keep up weekly updates? Who knows? I guess we’ll find out together!
#stephanie lauter#peter spankoffski#grace chasity#hatchetfield#nerdy prudes must die#faniction#ted spankoffski#ao3 fanfic#we’re going places#maybe not quickly#but we are#I’ve yet to add a slow burn tag and maybe I should#lautskity#lautski#lautity
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Hey the good thing is, we as a fandom are all disappointed together 😂
People on twitter sure made funny posts about it 😂 I mean we're kind of used to it by now, aren't we? At least we're all in it together. And no one can take Mulder and Scully from us.
#lovely anons#that's a song from high school musical isn't it#we're all in this together#but we are#i just hope david and gillian see and/or hear each other on occasion#whether we see it or not#might be sad for some people but#their friendship means a lot to me
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i very rarely notice that i'm blocked but i did just now when trying to open a read more and not being able to and then checking the blog and the post and reading it and realizing op's analysis is pretty much spot on and i was right to go after the post.. this is so sad i'm 1000% sure it's my incest crimes that did it💔 hehe
#what's interesting is we mostly agree and i appreciate how clearly the issues that this show has been having since s5 are#laid out in the post. like we are seeing the same thing. and yet we really aren't#but we are#kata.txt
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Y’know it’s fucking crazy—like Leo is a really stark example but I show my new friends pics my mom sends me from when I was like sixteen or eighteen & they’re fully like “that looks like a completely different person.” If they didn’t know it was me they’d think it was a cousin or something. Which is insane
#idk what my point is#but I think it’s like. we always think we aren’t seeing changes#but we are#kenny.txt
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Things That Make Me Doubt Being A System
1. Having Really Good Communication
I haven’t actually ever heard of a system like us in this respect, when we were little we were incredibly empathetic and between all of the christian teachings of ‘Put others first’ and ‘Treat others like you wan’t to be treated’ and in particular Horton Hears A Whos’ ‘a persons a person no matter how small’ we (knowingly or not) became very good at communication and sharing the body.
We talked to each other all the time and it was not very often (infact literally I only know one(1) alter whose ever fronted fully alone) that we had less that 2-3 of us near the front when we were younger because we relied on each other and trusted each other more than we trusted ourselves. we wanted people to be nice to us all the time so we tried very hard to be nice to people all the time especially each other. This led to alot of trust and respect and very good open communication (though it did break down almost entirely once we found out we were a system and were working on actively achieving what we used to have without trying)
2. Being Good At ‘Co-Fronting’
I hate this one in particular because I’ve seen so many “Signs They’re Faking The Disorder” with this being on of the main ones.
We managed to get it to an art of fronting, having up to 20 of us aware of what was going on at once, all giving advice and emotional support. we would have at least one soother, one booster (our name for alters who raise the vibe and give high energy) alters who didn't feel, alters who did feel and would be restrained while feeling for the body so we didn't create an outburst or shutdown entirely by neglecting our feelings. Alters who were aware of every surrounding factor physically, alters who would have lists for everything going on in our friends lives so we wouldn’t overstep any boundaries or be ignorant to their feelings, alters who were incredibly book smart, and alters who were just there to have fun with the rest of us while we were working destress us so we didn’t have to clock out of the front sooner than we could.
It took years to perfect it and once we did pretty much everything in life became so much easier, some of us consider this ‘functioning-multiplicity’ though in many ways it was very unhealthy it saved so much pain for us, and at the very least, aside from the horrendous anxiety and depression, it made fronting fun. It became something we looked forward too because it was a way to hang out, it made life less scary to be scared with a friend. Even those of us who were unaware of being a system knew to an extent, even if we didn’t know what we were aware of. It also helped our memory having so many alters around to remember and cover each others blank spots.
3. We Can’t Unmask (or a lot of us at least)
(Hi I switched in cuz we got a little dissociated, idk who i am but i know im not whoever was writing before lol)
Because of how good many of us are at fronting with others, not only do we now find it near impossible to front alone, we have no clue who we are outside of the headspace,,, like ever. In order to fight the disassociation of having so many of us in the front at once we, instead of fighting it, leaned into it.
We became comfortable with becoming the hazy, mushy, blur that is uncertainty of being in the front. Not knowing where you end or someone else begins or if you even are who you thought you were. Not knowing where you are but having a vague feeling that some part of you does know and trusting it, leaning into the unknown into the mess into the whatever the fuck it is and finding it safe.
Now when I’m in the front I’m so terrified of being seen that I lean into whoever’s around me to find the comfort of not knowing, I can’t be hurt if I don’t know what hurts or what there is to attack. I don’t know who I am and I don’t know what I’m like in the body unmasked and quite frankly I don’t think I want to know.
Losing yourself and wrapping yourself in someone else is so much better that being alone and vulnerable
I have a feeling were going to be adding more onto this when others come out and rock up with their own insecurities but for the 2 of us who did write this is probably the biggest things for us
#faking#fake did#did#actually dissociative#dissociative system#im posting this to make myself feel more confident about the fact that i still kinda dont really believe it#were definately faking#idk how#but we are#i need to stop comparing us#throwback to that time i was 5 in class#and my teacher started YELLING#at some poor system in my class#that you cant have voices in you head#and insisted that they cheated becaus ethey couldntve had a voic in their head telling them the right answer#and i asked the voices in my head if they were voices#and they panicked#and said... nooo#were just your brain#yeah thats right#just your brain telling you what to do#everyones brain is like that#and i said aaahh yes of course that makes perfect sense#thanks brain#and they said ur welcom :)#system#did system#i still reckon im making it up tho
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Haha… yeah… that’d be crazy…
#“wait so when you guys time travelled you DIDNT meet the giant time baby?”#“not quite but we did see a giant floating baby head? that was mostly when we were travelling between dimensions…”#“YOU WERE WHAT”#my art#gravity falls#phineas and ferb#dipper pines#Mabel pines#phineas flynn#ferb fletcher
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I think one big reason why we don't consider the stars as important as before (not even pop-astrology anymore cares about the stars or the sky on itself, just the signs deprived of context) is because of light pollution.
For most of human history the sky looked between 1-3, 4 at most. And then all of a sudden with electrification it was gone (I'm lucky if I get 6 in my small city). The first time I saw the Milky Way fully as a kid was a spiritual experience, I was almost scared on how BRIGHT it was, it felt like someone was looking back at me. You don't get that at all with modern light pollution.
When most people talk about stargazing nowadays they think about watching about a couple of bright dots. The stars are really, really not like that. The unpolluted night sky is a festival of fireworks. There is nothing like it.
#cosas mias#it's amazing it's always just up there and we can't see it! it's so fucking frustrating!
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