#BUT this is what ive got so far!!!! working w the space ive got!!!!

[phagodyke]

anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶‍♂️

[aetherraeys]

OHHHHWHHSHHW WHAT DO YPUBMEAM WE ARE SYNCED UP JABSJAHAKAHAI⁉️⁉️⁉️ IVE ALREADY SEEN A COUPLE W JEGULUS AND ITS OUGGHHSHS DOOMED !!! DOOMED I SAY !!!

all i can say,,, as a compensation,,,, men who yearn,,, are men who earn 😍

-🐠anon

anon ur brain. MEN WHO YEARN ARE MEN WHO EARN. and the ill fated jegulus makes my soul ACHE.

so yes take ur compensation with both hands and raise you yearning barty.

BECAUSE ITS 100% HIS TOP SKILL, BRO WAS BUILT TO YEARN.

yearning obsessed!barty and grumpy!reader who never gives his antics the time of day. quite literally doesn’t give him an ounce of attention—you’re rather disgruntled every time he forces himself into your space. because all you want is some peace and quiet but no.

barty crouch jr has to come barrelling into great hall, all grins and loud chattering and chaos—planting himself next to you as if you hadn’t made it abundantly clear you wished to be left alone.

but to your misfortune, barty was nothing if not relentless—another day, another token. this one was wrapped delicately, decorated with a bow and your initials. he pushed it into your space with a shining grin that made you want to wince away—just too bright.

he slung an arm over your shoulder, leaning into you whispering into your ears as he greeted you—your name leaving his lips like it was just his to say. and when you grimaced at the proximity, eyes darting to where his arm laid on you—far too casual, too comfortable—and then to his face.

gods, was he close.

so close you could feel his breath fanning over your face, could smell the fresh air that had whipped his hair into its mussed state mixing with his own scent. he wasn’t even shy about the way his watched you—eyes flickering from yours to your lips, that held a mild scowl. his own lips stretching into something more wolfish as he watched you avert your gaze. irises shaking—almost panicked.

your eyes rolled as you shrugged of his arm—yet he still stayed stuck to your side, almost magnetised. his warmth seeping through your robes.

plucking the toast from your hand and taking a large bite—simultaneously forcing the package into your still opened grasp as you gaped at him. barty continued to chew unceremoniously brows raising as motioned you to open it.

he smiled to himself when you sighed, grumbling about your toast, yet your fingers were working open the ribbon. the parchment floated lightly onto the table, revealing a book—your favourite book.

how did he know?

your brows furrowed as you examined the copy, you’d never seen one like this before—eyes flickering back to him in skeptic confusion. he just grinned at you, arm inching its way around you again. settling into the pocket of your robe.

he used his other hand to take his wand—pressing it to the surface of the cover. and it shifted, morphed, sparkled as the title floated around, an admittedly beautiful illustration surrounding it in movement.

and there was an undeniably warm sense of pride blooming in barry’s chest at the way your eyes glimmered—lips parting in awe. and he could have sworn he saw the corners of your lips twitch upwards. he was still taking in your reaction, watching as your fingers traced the edge when he murmured so quietly you almost didn’t hear it.

“drew it myself.”

that got your attention—eyes shamelessly flitting over to him. and you were met with a shockingly soft expression, almost shy.

you say wordlessly for a few more moments, eyes still stuck on barty—before you swiftly stood—his hand falling out of your pocket while his eyes tracked your movements.

maybe you’d misjudge him, maybe.

just as quickly as you stood—bag slung over your shoulder, your warmth quickly dissipating from barty’s side. you pressed a gentle peck to the tops of he cheekbones—picking up the book and tucking beneath your arm. your small thank you soft and honeyed in his ears.

and then you were gone.

robes filling with air as you walked swiftly out of the dining hall.

and barty all but melted into the seat—slumping dramatically, tracing the surface of his cheek where you lips had been—heat travelling helplessly to the surface as a cheesy grin split across his lips.

all he could do was watch your figure disappear down the corridor—cheek pressed against the hard wood of the table, a lovestruck expression plastered to his face.

it took him over a week to figure out how to animate his drawing with magic (thank you dorcas).

and gods was it worth it.

[millionmaggots]

did/osdd/posdd/etc havers, can i mayhaps get ur opinion on something please?

i havent rlly been posting abt it bc the plural/system space online is HELLA SCARY with all the fakeclaiming n discourse n shit, but im realizing i proooobably have some kind of dissociative shit going on 😭

- can't remember the first 10 years of my life with any detail, then it gets a little clearer until age 15 or so when i can remember pretty well / maybe normally (idk what normal really is tho)

- i lose hours at a time

- i don't have distinct people in my head except for this one lady who's basically the ceo of violent / upsetting intrusive thoughts (i don't think i experience switching)

- but i do have a very disorganized train of thought, with a lot of different things going on at once / overlapping (i also have adhd tho)

- ive heard voices (that don't sound like me) on and off since i was like 8 or 9

- ^ i got tested for schizophrenia and i do not have it

- my parents get annoyed with me bc apparently i take / move their stuff, but i often have no memory of doing it, and little/no reason to have done it, despite evidence that i did. i usually just say that although i have no memory of doing it, i guess i did and im sorry. this one happens probably at least weekly and causes me a lot of distress bc it's scary being told that i did something i don't remember / wouldn't do

- people (esp my parents) sometimes tell me im acting off / different, and it's really confusing, bc as i see it, im always acting like myself

- i have a history of acute dissociation / depersonalization, especially when i was working a rlly stressful job

- i have an absolute dogshit short term / working memory

- i space out and fail to process things ALL THE TIME, especially auditory information. i need about 20% of everything said to me repeated.

- i get inexplicable feelings of dread from things i have no (conscious) emotional connection to

- i have cptsd symptoms and at least 2 distinct triggers associated with bad experiences ive had

- accidentally called myself a 'we' when talking to my psych? i remember everything about the appointment except the context around why i would've made that mistake

- like i said, i have adhd, and my adderall helps me focus, but doesn't do anything for my general inattentiveness / spacing out / forgetfulness

- my childhood was like. fine? in terms of like parents/housing/money/friends/etc, but i grew up not knowing my gender identity or that im disabled, and i had a severe undiagnosed anxiety disorder dismissed by adults as me being "shy" and "sensitive" so there was a constant ever present feeling that i was just inherently a bit off / wrong / broken

- nothing bad was directly done to me when i was little (as far as i know?) but i was, in hindsight, emotionally abused by my principal and homeroom teacher all throughout middle school (severe depression and anxiety, i was told to "stop being so negative" or i would be put in a different classroom without any of my friends <- the people who helped me and made me feel at least a little bit safe)

tl;dr: if anybody w osdd/did, etc, took the time to read all this, i would REEEEALLY appreciate u guys giving all this a sniff test 😭 not asking 4 a diagnosis obvs just kinda a peer review

i have a psych appointment abt this in about a month but in the meantime i would love to hear from systems who know abt this kind of thing. what do u guys think is up?

(PLEASE don't drag syscourse over here bc i know it'll just make everything im dealing with worse and more confusing /gen /srs)

[whywasthissohardtomake]

Okay, buckle in guys cause ive been Thinking (my work is cracking down on earbuds so i could only think about hwfwm vs listening to it 😞)

so my mind has carried me to 3 tracts. 1.) time travel. b) how to get jason to be non lethal (is there a way?) and a subsect of b , iii. Is there any reason that Jason would be booted from Team Biscuit.

edit: this is gonna be just about 1 because it got hella long.

now, 1 and b are pretty normal. But iii. is where my mind eventually wandered. Lets get into it!

Starting off with 1: Time Travel.

so i think it makes sense that if given the ability, jason would in fact time travel. To save Kaito, Asya, and Greg if nothing else.

Now. My first thought was, he’d go into his normal rank body (because rn im working w jason going back to when he first arrived in palamustus, tho earlier or later both do hold appeal), and all of his memories & shit would be mind-splittingly painful due to going from a silver ranked body to a normal one. I was having a great time with this version UNTIL i realized that its the soul thats ranking up & affecting the body. Not the other way around. And Jason is a gestalt being, so how the fuck would his soul travel back without his body?

this led me down two paths.

one: two jasons. This would make the most sense & be easiest to explain (for now without Evilphrog’s theories on time travel) as jason’s whole body & soul would just go back in time & then hed probably do sneaky stuff from the shadows & longingly spy on his friends & eventually the two jason’s meet & young jason will be horrified by what hes become etc etc. now, this is fun, but generally not my preferred way of time travel (i might make an exception because two jasons is great, but i digress).

path two: jason tears away his soul like he did to the messenger or potentially even that one builder cultist. He then sends it back in time (with new scars, would these be visible? Scar thoughts to come), and it inhabits his old body. I think he probably absorbs it? (More thoughts on this to come too. God im having a lot of thoughts). & then weve got this giant purge in the garden & suddenly jason is the only jason & also at [insert rank here].

so, scars. I believe his scars would manifest on this new body. Potentially bleeding like they did after he flung carlos. And i wonder if new scars would manifest. Because all of his old soul scars also came with a physical attack, im not sure. Im leaning towards yes, but im also not sure what theyd look like. Hmmmm. Maybe some sort of full body scarring? But like minimal ish? Yknow like lichtenberg scars? But not that exactly. Food for thought. anywho, so then jason is naked WAIT COME ON. arghhhh. I thought it would be really funny if jason saved everyone without clothes on :((((. But his storage space is his fucking astral kingdom which is obviously coming with him!!!!! Maybe its so disoriented & hes so fixated on saving gary, farrah, & rufus that he doesnt notice? But hes always been really aware of his attire 😭. Augh. I have to scrap that. :(

anyway, id say that his astral kingdom, & colin & gordon come with him. (Though theyll need their bodies resummoned. I think maybe they also absorbed(?) their younger counterparts). But not shade because he do WAIT FARRAH. okay farrah has to be dead before jason time travels OR colin & gordon cant come with him. Choices.

god this is so messy. So, assuming farrah’s dead, shade didnt go with them because he didnt bind himself to jason. Wait nvm. Farrah can live because gordon & colin dont? have souls? So the bond would probs break btwn jason & farrah but colin & gordon would be fine.

ANYWAYS. My thought is that (from where i am rn), shade wouldnt come with jason because hes not bound to jason as like a voice to his astral kingness.

okay, so jason then goes & saves rufus & farrah & gary & i think slaps a suppression collar on anise (cant kill her yet i dont think) & thats about as far as i got, because i dont wanna plan out a whole time travel fic yet. (Tho i do think having an outsider pov for this would be so good)

subsect of path 2: what if like instead of old jason absorbing new jason, we get the classic visions & scattered memories instead. & like they start before he ever goes to palamustus & jason just thinks theyre really vivid dreams/nightmares (hes lying to himself) & then he gets transported & finds out that they were visions of the future & he has to like scramble to remember what the early ones were & also either lie about not knowing shit, or probably lie about how he knows shit.

and i believe that is the time travel section!

i think im actually break this up into 3 parts because god this is long. B & iii might be in the same post tho.

sorry its so rambly but, as always, pls no spoilers!

[kzele]

From the Roots Up

Peter puts a plan into motion in order to shake the foundations of the underworld. Neither Rhino or Sandman were prepared. Tombstone will be even less so.

Something was weird about this fight. As for what that something was? That was the itch that Flint Marko couldn't scratch. The web-head was cracking jokes like usual. And O'Hirn was getting angry at the guy like usual. There was punching and dodging going on, same as all the other fights.

Except. . .Spider-Man wasn't making many offensive moves. Sure, punches and kicks didn't do much to either of them but that never seemed to stop him from having a trick up his sleeve. He kept flipping further and further away towards some street work. Alarm bells rang in Flint's head. As someone who had challenged Spidey on a regular basis, both as plain Flint Marko and Sandman, he knew how tricky his enemy could be in a fight.

"Hey, wait up!" he called out to Rhino. "Don't let 'im separate-"

The ground chose that moment to give way beneath his long-time partner's feet.

"Ahhhhh-oof!"

He sighed, ". . .Nevermind."

"Well, you did try," the vigilante's chimed in.

He glared at the ever-present cause of his misfortune, who flipped flawlessly mid-air into the new hole in the street like one o' those fancy gymnasts on TV.

"You're welcome to join your buddy and me down here. Or not. Although, he might've mentioned at one point that he doesn't do too well in tunnels, especially by himself," the bug's voice continued to echo up through the hole.

Flint remembered all right. After that blowout of a fight, O'Hirn had to be rehydrated while knocked out and then sedated. How they managed to do that without any skin on his arms to put an IV, the silicate supervillain had no idea.

Leaving O'Hirn alone to face the guy that scared the pants off of most of the underworld was not an option. If they got caught again, it was nothing new, but at least he wouldn't be a wuss for letting his partner get caught alone.

He jumped down.

Sometimes, Flint thinks, it pays to have superpowers. because that drop wouldn't've gone as good if he had normal legs instead of sand.

As his eyes adjust, he can make out . . . train tracks?? Are they in part of the subway or something? He was about to look around further for Rhino but-

CRASH!

-that wasn't needed.

"Marko! Glad you could make it! I hope the decor isn't too rustic for your tastes. O'Hirn doesn't seem to appreciate it that much," the weblinger snarked as he dodged yet another punch.

"I'll 'appreciate' it when I crush you all over the the walls, you sneaky little creep!" Rhino growled.

A high-powered jump onto the subway ceiling and Rhino could not longer follow through on that promise.

"As much as I would like to see you both fail at that again, that's not why I arranged this chat."

Flint snorted, "Oh, sure. Let me guess. You want to talk us into giving ourselves up and going straight."

Spider-Man made an so-so motion.

"Not exactly. But not too far off either. A good guess, though. And a choice that I wouldn't be opposed to either of you making."

They both opened their mouths and a hand shot up to halt their next words. Another hand webbed the hole next to the vigilante shut.

"There. I made sure we wouldn't be interrupted by cops anytime soon. The old tunnel we're in needs repairs but it's the workers' day off, so can you just hear me out for a second before attempting another murder on me here?"

Neither he or Rhino moved. They look at each other and then up at Spidey and then back to each other.

This was definitely out of the norm. Was it another trick? But why trap himself down here in the same space with two of his longtime enemies then? It made no sense!

His mouth was now moving but the words were surprising even him, "Well, uhhh. . .alright."

His partner shot him a look but he shot him one right back. They were both stuck down and he was curious, so sue him!

Spider-Man tilted his head, "Huh, this wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be. Well you see, when I said hear me out, I should have been more precise. I should have said 'hear me and the Big Man out'."

And with that, a little recorder was suddenly playing in the guy's hands.

"I'm here to see Mr. Lincoln."

"Then you should make an appointment."

//Line Break//

Peter could see the looks on their faces switch from interest to the beginnings of an unpleasant realization.

"Wait. You can't listen to him. He's the bad guy. He's--"

He clicked the tape off.

When he had broken into Tombstone's office that day, he had recorded the conversation just in case the guy said anything that could be used against him in court. It worked on sting operations and TV an awful lot. (Or maybe just the stings ops on TV??) But the more he rewinded and listened to it, however, the more he realized that very little wouldn't be thrown out in court. Between Lincoln's evasive wording around being the Big Man, the charges he brought against Spidey in the tape, plus the wealth and reputation the jerk has. . . Well, Peter knew nothing would come from showing the tape to any above board and official sources.

That's when it hit him. Spidey wasn't the only being treated like a pawn in that exchange. In fact, he'd wager guys like Marko and O'Hirn knew nothing about why they were made.

"He offered you money?!"//"I'll kill 'im! He set us up for jail!"

Called it. Poor guys.

"Hold up! One at a time, please. Yes, Sandy, he offered me a big briefcase full of cash to stay out of the way."

"H-how big a score are we talking here?"

Marko looked like he was about two seconds from breaking down in tears.

"Two rows of seven. All hundreds. None of the cash bundles in any row looked anemic," he responded matter-of-factly.

Sandman slumped onto the ground with his face in his hands.

"Soo, um, anything you want to ask, Rhino?"

Hornhead was trembling in rage and it seemed like a tremendous effort to open his mouth with the way he was grinding his teeth.

"Lincoln. Where do I find him?"

"I could tell you but trust me when I say smashing him is only going to make the problem worse."

"Then why tell us all this?! Look at what you did! You smashed everythin' we thought we knew and now you don't want to get the piece o' crud back?!"

"I didn't say I didn't want him taken down. Look, I could have accepted the money and been at home right now counting the zeros in my bank account. Instead, I'm here. All I'm saying is that smashing him only opens up his throne to people like the Goblin, who FYI, is far worse than Tombstone. And that's saying something."

"So we're screwed no matter what, then," Marko interjected from his seat on the floor.

Sandman's voice sounded lifeless and Rhino was clearly struggling to find anything to say to him.

Peter took a deep breath, "I made the mistake of thinking people like you were the enemy. I started being Spider-Man to help the little guy but I think we're all the little guy here. The Big Man thinks of us as little numbers on a ledger or like chess pieces if we get powerful enough to get noticed. Even if you go against him openly, he'll just replace you. With every day that passes, you're less and less unique because he can churn out more like you. And he'll ruin more people to send against me unless. . ."

Both sets of eyes were looking at him now. Even Rhino had calmed enough to seem interested in listening again.

"Unless what?"

"Unless we do the opposite of what Mr. Benevolent Overlord wants and team up."

End of Part One (Possibly more to come???)

[guilty-pleasures21]

Yooooooooouuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!! You SUCK!

Ahh! I love them so much!!!

1. There are too many. TOO MANY!!

Part 1 - the bad day

Part 2 - the injury

Part 3 - the sleepover

Part 4 - the lovesick teenager/the gym

Part 5 - the eyedrops

Warnings: none.

----------------------------------------------------------

It had been a few days since she’d last seen him. The nurses had put her on an IV for two days before clearing her to leave. Then she’d taken another day of rest before returning to HQ to check on Miguel: he hadn’t been to visit her once since their last mission. Not a ‘how are you feeling’ or a simple ‘hola, arañita’, not even through text! She bounced into the control room, her footsteps getting even lighter when she saw him standing on the platform by his computer. “Miguel? Are you busy?”

     She webbed up to the platform to stand beside him, but he didn’t look up, refusing to meet her gaze. “Yes.” 

     “Oh,” she said when he didn’t elaborate. He wasn’t ever so brusque with her - not with her. “Um, I’m fine now! The doctors said I was all right.”

More silence. She took a step closer to him, trying to sneak a glance at whatever he was working on. “Can I help?”

     “No.”

Her stomach churned as she wondered if he might be angry. Not at her, maybe, but … She tugged on her chair, dragging it closer to her so she could take a seat beside him. 

“I’ll just-” He sighed loudly, interrupting her. Finally, he turned to her, his eyes narrowed in irritation.

“Can you just … go?” She froze, stunned by the response.

  “W-What?” He turned back to his screens. 

     “I don’t need you messing up my missions anymore,” he told her, his voice flat, emotionless. “Just go fight some lowlife criminals from your dimension or something. Seems to be the only thing you’re actually good at.” Her chest tightened at his response, the tears beginning to build up behind her eyes. How could he say that? 

“How can you say that, Miguel?” He turned to face her, his brows pulled low in a frown. 

     “Because!” He took a step closer to her, his expression thunderous as he towered over her. “You’re incapable and incompetent! You almost got yourself killed on a mission even Pav and Hobie had no trouble with!”

Because she’d saved them! They’d only had no trouble because she was the one who’d defeated Loki, the one who’d saved them all! But the fear was too great for her to speak, seeping into her bones and squeezing around her insides. She curled into herself, backing away from him slowly, meticulously avoiding his gaze. 

     “How could you be so stupid?!” he continued, taking a step forward every time she took one back. “How could you, of all people, be so dumb?!” She stopped, her foot finding empty space when she tried to take another step backwards. 

     “Just … go home to your comics or whatever,” he finished, returning to his computer. “I don’t need you here anymore.” She opened her mouth to try to respond, but then shut it again, too terrified to say anything. What if she spoke and another hurtful insult fell from his lips? She slapped her hand over her mouth as a sob slipped out. Then she turned and ran far away from him. 

     Peter strolled into the room, whistling a tune from one of the cartoons Mayday had started watching recently. It was a cheery tune, one that had gotten stuck in his head and refused to leave. He waved a hand up at Miguel, brooding on the platform as he normally did. “Hey, Miguel! Where’s X? I haven’t seen her in a few days.” 

     Miguel shrugged, not looking at him. “I don’t know. She probably went home or something.” 

     “Hmm,” Peter began, landing on the platform beside him. “I heard she got injured. Is she okay?” His heart squeezed in his chest at the reminder, his breath catching in his throat. He turned to Peter, scowl on his face. 

     “Why don't you go ask her yourself?!” Peter held his hands up in surrender. 

     “Whoa! Hey! What’s wrong, Miguel?” He placed a gentle hand on his friend’s shoulder, but Miguel shrugged it off grumpily. “Miguel. What happened? I talked to Pav and Hobie and they said she got injured and that you were freaking out.” Miguel sniffed.

     “I wasn’t … ‘freaking out’,” he mumbled. Peter folded his arms across his chest and tapped his foot on the ground, waiting. Finally, Miguel sighed. “She messed up, okay? She did something … stupid and I … I dismissed her.” 

     “‘Dismissed her’?” Peter echoed. “What does that even mean? And what did she do that was so bad?” Miguel pursed his lips, knowing Peter wasn’t going to like his answer. 

     “She … She almost got herself killed using Scorpion’s venom.” Again, a lump formed in his throat at the thought. “So, I … I told her to leave. I said we didn’t need her anymore.” ‘I’ - ‘I don’t need you anymore’; that’s what he’d said. He winced as Peter began yelling at him. 

     “You what?!” Peter exclaimed, waving his hands in the air in disbelief. “How could you say that to her, Miguel?! You know how much she cares about you - I know how much she cares about you; everyone knows how much she cares about you.” He waited until Miguel turned to face him, the shame shining through his features. Then he sighed. Because he cared about her too. Just as much as she cared about him; that was obvious to everyone as well. He returned his hand to Miguel’s shoulder.

     “Are you mad at her because she made one mistake? For the first time?” He paused to let the words sink in. “Or are you mad because you were scared you might lose her?” 

     He sucked in a breath at the memory of her convulsing in his arms, at the fear he’d felt racing through his veins. The fear he’d let push her away, causing him to lose her anyway. 

     “Go find her, Miguel,” Peter told him. “Apologise. For once in your life.” Miguel narrowed his eyes at that, fixing Peter with an exasperated look. But then he clicked on his watch anyway, opening up a portal to take him to her house.

     He landed in the entryway of her apartment, his head almost brushing the ceiling as he looked around. It was small, but cosy; neat, but welcoming. Just like her. Her head popped up over the sofa and she hopped up quickly when she saw him, scurrying over to the light switch by her bedroom to dim the lights. And it killed him. It killed him that, even after he’d hurt her as much he had, she still found it so easy to care for him. He deactivated his mask and called out to her softly. “¿Arañita?”

     She flinched at the familiar nickname, the one reserved only for the two of them, and it felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice cold water over his head. He clenched his jaw, not caring for the feeling one bit. “What do you want, Miguel?” 

     Her voice was cold, flat, and she refused to meet his gaze as she spoke, her eyes fixed instead on her own feet. He began making his way over to her, each step slow, careful, like he was worried any sudden movements might cause her to bolt. He reached a hand out, wanting to run his fingers through the strands of her hair, to push it out of her face so he could see those almond-shaped eyes and rosy cheeks and soft, curved lips. But again, she pulled away, and again, his heart dropped into his stomach. His fingers twitched, aching to reach out and comfort her. And it terrified him. It terrified him how much he wanted to hold her, to pull her into his arms and keep her safe, always. He ground his teeth together, trying to contain his emotions. 

     “X, I’m sorry,” he began slowly. “For what I said. And how I treated you. I was … I was just scared, that I might … that I might …” He let his words trail off, unable to finish the sentence, the horrible thought that had plagued his mind for the past few days. But she just glared at him, angry now, her eyes red and swollen from how she’d cried earlier. Because of him. Because of what he’d said to her. His heart ached at the sight. 

     “So?!” she exclaimed. “I was scared too! You didn’t see me throwing a tantrum about it!” She frowned at him, waiting for his excuse. But there was no excuse. He’d made a mistake and he needed to apologise. He’d own up and take accountability for his actions, apologising to her over and over and over again until she forgave him. 

     “You’re right,” he agreed. “I’m sorry. I was wrong and … and …”

     “You know what?” She crossed her arms over her chest, her gaze still fixed on him. “I am sick and tired of angry men! I’ve already had to grow up around so many, I’m not going to put myself through that again; not if I can help it. And I can help it now: I’m an adult now. I get to decide who I want to keep and who I don’t.”

     'Do you want to keep me?’. The words hovered on the tip of his tongue. He wouldn’t be able to bear it if she said she didn’t. 

     “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I … It won’t happen again. I promise.” She stood her ground, her expression unconvinced. So he pushed on. 

     “I just-” His voice cracked as the memory came flooding back to him: her, lying in his arms, convulsing as her body tried to rid itself of the venom running through her veins. Her, flopping over, and him not even breathing as he waited, waited for her to wake up, to say something, to do anything. “You were just lying there, arañita! And I … I …” 

     She let her arms fall back to her sides, her features scrunching up in concern. He was having a panic attack, she recognised it. She crept over to him carefully, trying not to startle him, and bent over to try to catch his gaze. His eyes remained fixed on the floor, wild and restless as he re-lived whatever memories were running through his mind right then. She reached up slowly and took his face in her hands, tilting his head towards her. 

     “Miguel? I’m okay. I’m okay.” She brushed her thumbs along his cheeks. “Look at me. What colour is my hair?” He hesitated, trying to bring his attention back to the present, to focus on her standing in front of him, waiting for him to respond. 

     “Brown?” 

     “And my eyes?” 

     He stared into her eyes, his breathing slowing down a little as he studied them. “Dark brown.” 

     “And my tongue?” She stuck her tongue out and wriggled it playfully, trying to retain his attention. He relaxed a little more. 

     “Pink.” She lowered her hands to his, stroking her thumbs across them. 

     “Take your gloves off,” she commanded him gently. He complied and she took hold of his hands, curling her fingers around them. “How does my skin feel?” 

     “Smooth. Cold.” He engulfed her small hands in his large ones, trying to warm her up. She smiled up at him, the curl of her lips beneath her puffy eyes tugging at his heartstrings again. 

     “And my hair? What does it smell like?” She took a step forward, burying her face in his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist. He found his own hands landing on her back, and he ran his fingers gently along her spine as he rested his cheek on the top of her head. 

     “It smells … fruity. Citrus-y?” 

     “I just washed it,” she told him, her voice muffled by his chest. She pulled back to look up at him, her arms still curled loosely around his waist. “Do you want to sit down?” He nodded and she guided him over to the sofa to take a seat. She sank into the cushions beside him, then arranged his arm over the back of the headrest so she could curl up against his side. She reached up, placing two fingers against the side of his neck. 

     “What are you doing?” he asked her, a tinge of amusement clouding his voice. She sat back to look up at him. 

     “Feeling for your pulse.” She grabbed his hand and placed his fingers on her neck, moving the other to rest on his neck. “Is it okay? Is your heart still beating too fast?” He remained silent for a moment, counting out the beats as they pulsed against his fingers. 

     “It’s slowing down now.” 

     “Try to match mine.” She rolled her eyes, smiling at the thought. “Or less, probably.”

His lips twitched at the joke, but he kept his fingers against her neck, measuring the beating of his heart against hers. She ran her fingers along his thigh as she waited, her nails scratching over his skin lightly in a way that kept distracting him from the task at hand. He looked up and studied her carefully, his gaze trailing over her slowly as he reassured himself that she was okay; that she was real and she was safe, her heart pulsing in her chest, the blood rushing through her arteries beneath his fingers. Finally, he dropped his hands back to his lap. “I think it’s all right now.”

She hummed in acknowledgement, then curled back into his side, her body small and soft against his. Eventually, she sat back to look up at him. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

He hesitated, afraid to pose the question. 

     “Can I … Can I stay over? Just for tonight! I just … I just want to make sure you’re okay.” He avoided her gaze as he waited for her answer. Stupid, it was a stupid question. How stupid of him to reveal just how much he truly cared about her, how embarrassing. 

     “Of course!” she replied quickly, not even needing to think twice about it. She glanced around her tiny apartment, thinking. “Do you mind sleeping on the sofa? It’s a pull-out! I just don’t think my bed would be big enough for the both of us.” 

     She understood; she understood exactly what he needed right now - exactly how he was feeling and how to help him feel better. And she made it seem so easy too, as if she didn’t even need to spare a second thought when it came to him. He shifted in his seat, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “My bed … should be. If that’s … If you’re comfortable with that.” 

     “Sure.” She shrugged, not seeming bothered in the slightest by the idea of sharing a bed with him. She glanced at his suit. “But do you need to go back first?”

     “Yeah,” he nodded, suddenly feeling back to normal again. “I still have some stuff I need to clear up.” 

     “Okay. I’ll just call my mum first. Then we can go after.” She leaned back against the sofa. “Do you want to have dinner here though? I can order something.”

She was a terrible cook; she’d whined about once before, in the pantry with some of the other Spiders. ‘It’s a curse!’, she’d lamented. ‘Everything I cook turns out both raw and burnt!’. She picked up her phone and began scrolling through it. 

     “What do you want to eat?” he asked. X tapped her phone against her mouth as she considered. 

     “Roti prata?” Her favourite food - besides the instant noodles he’d tried to ban from HQ to stop her from eating them so often. So he’d made it a regular dish: pizza on Fridays, roti prata on Saturdays. Instant noodles for lunch on Saturdays when she managed to sneak it into the canteen before he caught her too. 

     “Can I get the one with the chicken and the onion already inside of it? The stuffed one.” She tapped on her phone for a bit, then held it out to him, showing him a picture of what he’d asked for. 

     “This one?” He nodded in agreement and she added it to the cart. Then she looked up at him again, her eyes narrowing in suspicion as she considered him. 

     “You want one?” she asked him. “Or two …” He sighed, his lips quirking at the ends anyway. 

     “Mierda, arañita. Why do you always think I can eat so much?” She laughed. 

     “Uh, because you’re kind of freakin’ huge?!” She poked his broad chest to illustrate her point. “Where else am I supposed to think all this muscle comes from?” He rolled his eyes, trying not to smile. 

     “One is enough, arañita.” She sank back into her seat and shrugged. 

     “Suit yourself, big guy.” He frowned and poked her in the side, causing her to shriek and pull away immediately - because she was so painfully ticklish. She glared up at him, blowing away a loose curl that had fallen into her eyes.

     “You’re so mean, Miguel.” He scoffed incredulously. 

     “You’re the one calling me big!” And suddenly, it was easy again, easier than it had been in a long time. But just with her - only with her. She trailed her gaze over him, appraising him carefully and biting on her lip in a way that had the blood rushing to his neck. She tapped her phone on her mouth again, giving him a suggestive look. 

     “Are you not?” F*ck. His breath hitched in his throat and he pushed himself out of his seat, putting some distance between them. 

     “I should be back in about two hours.” He re-activated his mask and opened up a portal to take him back to HQ. “Hasta luego, arañita.”

     “Hasta luego, Miguel.” 

     She took in his apartment, her eyes wide with disbelief. It was so big! And so fancy! A penthouse suite with two floors and five bedrooms and three bathrooms and a view of the entire city spread out below. It probably could have fit her place six times over! She tiptoed over to the plush grey sofa in the living room and her feet sank into the fluffy white carpet as she set her pillow down. 

     “This is your house?” X asked him, her tone dripping with disbelief. Miguel grunted in acknowledgement, setting her water bottle down on the kitchen island before turning around to look at her. He leaned back against the island, folding his arms across his chest. 

     “Is there something wrong with it?” X shook her head quickly and turned around, making sure to absorb every part of her surroundings fully. 

     “No!” she reassured him, her expression awestruck as she studied his house. “It’s so big! Are you, like, a rich boy or something?” She turned to look at him, her lips curling in amusement as he gave her a confused look. 

     “A what?” She grinned.

     “A rich boy,” she repeated, gesturing to their surroundings. He turned his eyes away from her, shifting uncomfortably in position. 

     “Uh, yeah. I guess.” She swivelled around, ignoring his discomfort, and began making her way to the balcony. 

     “Ugh!” she groaned, waving her hands around dramatically. “I’m gonna have to marry you now, Miguel, I have absolutely no choice!” 

     He froze, unsure if he’d heard her right. ‘Marry’ him? Was that what she’d said? That she’d have to marry him? ‘Have’ to, like she had absolutely no choice in the matter? 

     “¿Qué?” He looked up, needing to hear her say it again. But she’d disappeared, walking out onto the balcony and leaving him behind. He ran after her. 

     “¡Arañita! ¡¿Qué?!” He rushed over to where she was standing, gripping onto the railing as she gazed out over the city. “What did you just say?” 

     She smiled, admiring the bright lights and the buzz of people still dashing through the streets, even when the moon was already so high in the sky. Miguel leaned over, trying to catch her gaze to get her to repeat what she’d said, still unable to believe that she’d actually said it. She refused to look at him, delighting in the puzzled expression on his face as she teased him. “Wow. This is so beautiful, Miguel.” 

     ¡Mierda, she was driving him mad! That relaxed smile on her face as she rejected his attempts to meet her eyes. He straightened, hardening his features and giving her a serious look. “X. What did you say just now?” 

     “What?” She grinned, finally looking up at him. “When I said I’m gonna have to marry you?” Again, she’d said it again! And so casually too, like it was just a fact of life, something inevitable they’d both have to accept. He gulped and nodded, completely at a loss for words. Her expression softened and she returned her gaze to the city, shuffling closer to him until her arm brushed against his. 

     “It’s okay,” she continued, her voice reassuring. She leaned over, resting her head against his arm. “I think we’ll be okay. Besides …” She pulled back slightly to look up at him again, her lips still curled into that mischievous smile. 

     “No one else is ever going to enjoy your company as much as I do. I won’t let them!” Her brows drew together in anger at the very thought, then her face broke into a grin again as she lowered her head back to his arm. How could she … How could she be so relaxed about this?! He gripped onto the railing, considering her words carefully. Was she really serious? He couldn’t tell. Not with that teasing smile she kept giving him every time she said it. But she kept saying it - why would she keep saying it if she didn’t mean it? If she didn’t want it to be true? He slid his gaze over to her, searching her demeanour for some hint as to what she was thinking, some clue. But she continued laying against his arm, her posture relaxed as she looked out at the landscape below them. Did she want it to be true? Did she … He shook the thought away, not wanting to think about it too hard. But what did it mean; if she wanted it to be true? What did it mean about the way she felt about him? And … what did it mean about the way he felt about her? His eyes drifted over to her again, his brain reminding him that he’d asked to stay the night, just so he could check up on her, just so he could make sure she was okay. She yawned suddenly, saving him from having to think about the situation any longer, and began heading back inside. 

     “Can we watch some TV or something?” she asked him, settling into the sofa. She looked up at him, waiting as he tried to collect his thoughts. 

     “Uh, um, yeah. Sure.” He sank onto the sofa, careful to leave a little space between them, and turned on the TV. “What do you want to watch?” She thought about it, then shrugged. 

     “I dunno. What kind of TV do you guys have?” He handed her the remote, unsure as to what she liked, but regretted his decision immediately when she landed on some trashy reality dating show. 

     “Really?” he asked her incredulously. “This trash?” She grinned and leaned back against the headrest, making herself comfortable. 

     “It’s nice to know it never gets old.” He rolled his eyes, but said nothing as she continued watching, the ache throbbing inside his chest finally easing up at the sight of her, safe and sound beside him again. 

     “What’s your favourite colour?” They’d gone to bed a while back, the two of them laying on their separate ends, their eyes trailing over one another as their hearts pounded with the excitement of sharing a bed together. He thought about it. 

     “Red.” She flashed him a smug smile, one he could easily make out in the dark. 

     “I knew it.” He rolled his eyes at her response. 

     “Why? Because it’s the colour of my suit?” She rearranged her features into a knowing expression.

     “Guys’ favourite colours are almost always red or blue,” she informed him. “You seem more like a red guy than a blue guy though.” 

     “Because I’m angry all the time?” He tried to keep his tone light, neutral, but it gnawed at his heart, how much he’d hurt her because of his fear. He really needed to manage his temper. 

     “No,” she reassured him softly. “You’re not angry all the time. You just seem more like someone who’ll go out and do things instead of sitting back and letting them pass you by. Red.” His lips twitched at her response, amused. Who knew a person’s favourite colour could tell you so much about them? 

     “What’s your favourite colour?”

     “Purple,” she replied immediately. “But that’s because of Barney.” 

     “Barney?” he repeated, confused. 

     “This big purple dinosaur I used to watch as a kid,” she explained. “He was my first crush.” She gave a dreamy smile, knowing he’d be able to make out the expression in the dark. His brows furrowed in disbelief.

     “Your first crush was a big purple dinosaur?” She laughed. 

     “Don’t worry, it gets worse from there. I also like Simba. And then probably Shahrukh Khan.” A brief silence fell over them as he attempted to come up with a response.

     “I have never heard of any of these people.” She chuckled again. 

     “I’ll show you one day,” she assured him. “What’s your favourite animal? And don’t say spider!”

Favourite animal now? What secrets would that reveal about him? 

     “Technically,” he began, his tone matter of fact, “a spider isn’t an animal. It’s an-”

     “Arachnid,” she finished, her voice softening with awe. “So it doesn’t fall into the kingdom Animalia.” A pause. And then she spoke in a dramatic whisper. 

     “I think I’m in love with you, Miguel.” 

     He froze, taken aback by the sudden confession. But did she mean it? Or was she just joking? Was she joking when she’d said it earlier; that she’d wanted to marry him? Or had she meant it then, just as she meant it now? He ground his teeth together, frustrated by her constant teasing. Santo cielo, she was going to drive him mad if she kept carrying on like this! He tried to brush it aside, to match her nonchalance, the casual tone she continued to use on him. 

     “Not the usual response.” She gave him a wicked smile and his stomach flipped over at the sight.

     “What? You wanted me to call you a huge nerd?” He frowned. 

     “Arañita,” he chastised her, his tone warning. She cuddled her pillow tighter, shuffling over to him slightly. 

     “It’s okay,” she told him gently. Then she lowered her voice, leaning into him like she was about to tell him a secret. “I think it’s kind of sexy.”

‘¡Ay, coño, arañita!’ he wanted to yell. ‘Stop messing with my head like that!’ But then she'd just give him that innocent look and ask him ‘like what, Miguel? How am I messing with your head?’ And she'd flash him that devious grin again, the one that made the adrenaline rush through his veins in anticipation of what she might do next - how she might tease him, getting him hot under the collar all while keeping that playful expression on her face. He swallowed, trying to come up with a very unsexy response. 

     “Because you're a huge nerd too?” He winced as it came out a little louder than expected - a little too desperate, he worried. But it didn't matter, because she still outwitted him anyway. 

     “You think I'm sexy?” She fluttered her eyelashes at him and he fought to suppress a groan. He wouldn’t think about it, wouldn’t think about how sexy she really was, her delicious curves making his mouth water with longing every time she stretched herself out. ¡Ay, coño, she was going to be the death of him one day! 

     “Go to sleep, arañita,” he grumbled, pulling the covers tighter over himself. She chuckled, delighted by how easy it was to fluster him. 

     “Good night, Miguel! 

     “Buenas noches, arañita.”

Tags: @leahnicole1219 @heubstr

[alt-wannabe]

ask on anon because i'm shy and haven't interacted w anyone in the community before this ask :") but i saw your mcsr d&d posts and got SO EXCITED!! all of your subclass assignments are so good and you are a multiclass wizard madam.

my only suggestion so far is that it would be really funny if you upped everyone's base movement speed to 35ft or something like that. because y'know, speedrunners go fast.

also i think you mentioned about being undecided on poundy's class- is there some potential multiclass fuckery in an arcane trickster x bard build? i think the 5e rules on spell slots makes the build a bit weird, but the vibes are there imo.

anyway yippee the character sheets are so cool. much much love :3

HI NONNIE!

no need to be shy we dont bite! (especially not me ive been here less than a year lmaooo)

im so so happy ya like the dnd stuff! its like largely what got me involved in the mcsr tumblr community which i can confidently say is one of the best online spaces imo :)

what's interesting about how i multiclass everyone is that i tend not to multiclass in games myself. if i do its always the basic combos (the two i can remember doing are druid w/ a slight dip into cleric and then sorlock in bg3). i try to make sure nothing like HARD conflicts between the multiclasses for the most part and i think ive done a pretty ok job lol

i def agree with the movement speed. tbh i havent really paid much mind to that which is so silly because they are SPEEDRUNNERS. i am trying to keep myself relatively contained to a realistic/playable build for everyone so it just depends on whether or not i can get a feat or trait or something like that that upgrades movement speed while not tanking other important features of the build

i am in fact, still stuck on the poundy build (but tbh ive been so slammed and busy for the past literally 3 months i havent even really looked at the character sheet in a looonnnggg time). helian made some super cool art of some runners as dnd characters and poundy was one of them, as a paladin iirc which is an idea im not opposed to thats for sure! ig i just didnt wanna seem like i was stealing the idea or step on any toes or anything :). i like the idea of arcane trickster subclass but idk how i feel about rogue for poundy because- and i absolutely mean this in the best way possible- subtlety isnt his strong suit lmaooo. i do think i want to go for bard though, especially after that thrilling espresso parody he sang in the mcsr awards

this def inspired me to get back to making character sheets though like now my brain is buzzing with ideas. i will say ive been making mini models in my spare time bc i love heroforge and also sometimes i see someones super cool mcsr artwork and i need it recreated in a little mini figure (although i dont post those bc obvi theyre not my designs yknow? just somethin i make for fun) ((also tins and oliver coppersunflower pirate art yes this is about you))

im sorry for going on such a ramble! tysm for the ask and also the inspo for more dnd works! im super glad ya like it and hopefully ill have some more mcsrd&d stuff out soon <3

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HII GM!!! i hope u had good worming time ehehe :3 anyway. now that you've spent some time w/ the undersiders & met a lot of the brockton bay wards & some of new wave + the prt!! i wanna hear ur thoughts on them in general + the world so far if u have any!! & also ur thoughts on like.... how powers happen & brian and taylor's origin stories etc if thats also something you've been thinking abt!! eyes emoji eyes emoji..

i am having SO much fun w worm. physically making myself put down my phone and walk away so i stop reading and do the productive things i promised myself i would do this weekend.

I AM SO. WARY. OF THE WARDS. I DONT TRUST THEM. its rlly cool 2 me that they all have powers that i myself would consider like. Bad or Scary. the emotion manipulation thing, the literal warping of time and space etc those are all things that i would be like. this feels overpowered to the point that i almost expect it more from a villain character to build dramatic tension. which. i guess in the meta sense still works bc theyre being set up as antagonists rn but you know what i mean!!!!!

i fully think we've reached the point where taylor is in way too deep to the extent that changing anything now would end horribly bad for her on both sides. shes still holding onto this thought that shes gonna have this dramatic reveal where she puts the villains in jail and the heroes welcome her with open arms. but after that conversation with armsmaster thats just !!!!!!! not going to fucking happen!!! it doesnt work like that!!! also there keep being these little sidebars and moments where she admits to herself that shes excited about villain work or like..a chance to hang out with her new friends. girl you are not going to join the protectorate i can see right thriugh your dumbass.

<< side note on all of this i have a little bit of a theory for this. i think tattletale probably. knows. she joined with the intention of betraying them eventually. im still sort offff kind of unclear as to the extent of lisas powers and how they work but at this point i dont know how she couldve possibly missed that huge elephant other than the possibility that she is intentionally ignoring it.

ANYWAY. IVE STRAYED FROM YOUR ACTUAL QUESTION IM SORRY I JUST LIKE THE UNDERSIDERS A LOT. i have a lot of thoughts on the meta of the story and the role reversal of "villains good heroes bad" that i know some cape media does sometimes and im not exactly sure jf thats what worm is going for but i AM AWARE OF IT . and i think that is playing a little bit of why i am biased like this. but this is not to say i dont like the heroes i wan 2 know everything about them. however i dont trust them. SUPER interested in what Amy's got going on w her dad and the fact that she fucking turned off taylors powers????? despite saying she wasnt gonna mess with brain stuff?????? i think amys gonna get rlly fucked up about something pretty soon. i could see her snapping and turning into some crazy supervillain esp in the last interlude where she talked about how much pressure she and others put on herself w healing everything and everyone.

uhhhhhhh what else. hey powers coming from trauma is pretty fucked up huh!!!!! u know whats rlly funny is like. i sort of expected it to be somethinf bad like that but i was also wasnt expecting the angle that like. the powers are unrelated to whatever the event was??????? like im sure u could find ways to connect each of their powers to their trigger event but its not ljke. obvious ?? i guess?? like taylor wasnt bittem by a radioactive bug that gave her bug controlling powers u know??? im rlly rlly excited 2 learn abt more characters trogger events just to like. expand the data pool and see if yhere is a correlation between the power that they get and the event that happens. or if the power theyre born with the potential of having is just set in stone or whatever. does that makr ANY sense

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Hegseth and the triumph of the Trump ideocracy

Lucian K. Truscott IV

Jan 15, 2025

How do you deal with a nomination like the odious Pete Hegseth as Secretary of Defense? I’m not going to take the time and space to run through the many reasons he is the wrong person for the job. They are manifest and obvious every time he shows his face or opens his mouth.

That appears to be the point with Donald Trump’s decision to appoint him. It’s as if Trump is waving a red flag at the establishment, or somebody anyway, telling the D.C. old guard and everybody else that they’ve run things long enough, so now we’re going to try something really different: the raw, unfettered, incompetence of norm-busting ugliness. There is simply nothing right about Hegseth, not his lack of experience, not his criminal attitude about women, not the insta-Christian nationalism he has deployed as a kind of parachute to save himself by embracing the worst instincts and lies of the far Right.

Trump is known to be furious with the Pentagon for its recalcitrance at the end of his last term in office. Neither Milley nor Esper would countenance his insane plans to put active duty troops on the street to face down American citizens who, along with providing the troops’ paychecks, were exercising their Constitutional right to protest the killing of George Floyd. What Trump wanted from the military was to use it for his own purposes, and anyone who got in his way he saw as not loyal to him and his agenda of grievance, if it can be called that. Trump’s attitude about the military was a version of what good is an army if you can’t do something with it. Previous presidents – George W. Bush comes to mind – have put this attitude to work starting wars that should never have been for reasons that couldn’t stand even a glance of scrutiny.

With Trump, of course, it was personal. Why waste his soldiers and guns and tanks on some country halfway across the world when he could use them right here in the exercise of a coup-in-place? That’s the way other dictators have done it over the years, and we know how much Trump admires dictators.

So, angry at a military establishment he sees as insubordinate to his sense of self as Supreme Ruler Over All, Trump just decided to take a well-coiffed Fox News yapper and blow the whole thing up and see what happens.

It would be one thing if the only people watching were his MAGA base, who have been eating up Hegseth and his simple-minded posturing like a Family Bucket of KFC. Were you watching yesterday during the hearing when half the room erupted in applause for Hegseth and started shouting “USA! USA!”? It was like a scene from the movie “Idiocracy” when a crowd of morons starts cheering because that’s what they’re supposed to do, MAGAs gone wild with delight because they think they’re being treated to the downfall of everything they think they hate about Washington and the establishment. That the “establishment” is this country’s military, which in another day conservatives embraced as reflexively as this crowd opposes our soldiers who have stood fast for the Constitution, is one of the great ironies of my lifetime.

But it isn’t just the MAGA mob watching that abomination of a hearing. It is the whole world, a world that knows all too well what happens when you throw a stink-bomb like Hegseth into the midst of what can only be called the world order. Because that’s what is happening. Trump isn’t just blowing up the Pentagon. He wants to blow up NATO, he wants to blow up our trade alliances, he wants to blow up everything that came before him put in place by anyone not named “Trump.” Europeans and our other allies around the world know what will come to pass if you throw away 75 years of carefully crafted mutual defense: more countries than Ukraine may begin to fall to fascism and force; people and institutions and whole countries will die.

The satisfaction among the MAGA faithful in the hearing room of the Senate Armed Services Committee was right out in the open. Hegseth is a dreamboat to this strain of American ideocracy. He has the “look,” he has the attitude, he wears the ill-fitting suit of the requisite anti-woke, anti-DEI, anti-woman, anti-rational right-wing male as if he’s a contestant for Mr. America, or these days perhaps a “hero” inside the “cage” at one of these fake mixed martial arts macho battles.

It’s so obvious that the whole thing is fake, it’s hard to believe the MAGA faithful don’t see it too. But they don’t. Apparently, neither do the Republican senators whose charge it is to “advise and consent” so that disasters-in-the-open like Hegseth don’t happen.

But they cower in fear of Trump, because that’s what you do if you’re a Republican today, and they will put their stamp of approval on this manifestly unqualified, incompetent TV-ready hand puppet Trump wants over there across the river at the Pentagon so he can call him up and tell him to do things that no other Secretary of Defense in our history would ever do.

It is obvious there is nothing Democrats can do to stop this trainwreck. Standing athwart the tracks and yelling “NO!” will not work. Trump and the Republicans have the votes, and they are going to have their way with Washington D.C. come hell or high water, and unless I miss my guess, an actual flood of downtown Washington is probably among the disasters that will befall us before Trump’s four years are over.

What is next, you may wonder? Well, we have endured this sort of madness before: Vietnam was a truly horrible misuse of American military might, and that included, in Nixon’s attempts to fight the anti-war movement, huge abuses of civil rights, privacy, and real weaponization of the Department of Justice and FBI against those Nixon considered enemies. The misbegotten war on Iraq and the trip we took through the graveyard of empires that is Afghanistan were almost as bad. Young American men and women lost their lives once again in pursuit of policies that never had a chance of success and so should never have been pursued in the first place.

After the deluge comes the clean-up, I’m afraid. Trump’s abuse of our military with the likes of Hegseth leading the way will cause a huge correction to take place at some point in the future, and we will begin again. As happens in Washington, no one will pay for this madness. Look at Wolfowitz and Feith, the “architects” of the lies that begat the invasion of Iraq. Do you see them paying a price? They have sinecures at the evergreen think tanks that populate the banks of the Potomac. Even Dick Cheney has achieved a nearly inexplicable hero status simply because he opposed Trump and stood up for whatever passed for the “old values” of the Republican Party Trump has turned to ashes. But you need to remember that it was Cheney who oversaw the whole Iraq disaster and in the process went after Joe Wilson for telling the truth when he took the job of investigating Iraq’s so-called WMDs and ended his wife Valerie Plame’s CIA career in the process.

That it has always been difficult to find good guys in Washington does not excuse the fact that Trump is fully in mid-stride in placing actual bad guys everywhere he can in Washington, and he’s giving them the triggers to set off bombs every time he picks up the phone and demands “loyalty” from these fools who would not recognize real allegiance and dedication to duty if it came from one of their own children.

The one glimmer of hope I see is that these people always end up doing to themselves what they think they are doing to others. There is no place from which incompetence can rise. It just stays where it is as the consequences ripple out and do their damage. The MAGA functionaries Trump is planting like deadly nightshades all over Washington can’t save themselves by suddenly learning to do the right thing, because they don’t know what the right thing is. And Trump isn’t going to save them, because everything that happens from here on out will be somebody else’s fault, not his.

Get ready for finger-pointing and blame. There’s going to be a lot of it coming, and oh, how much fun it’s going to be to watch Trump and his MAGA faithful eat their own.

[Lucian Truscott]

[neonbodyache]

Heya dear mootie!🐍

I saw that you want to cosplay at a convention next year, what do you want to cosplay?~

Have you cosplayed before and if so what was your favorite one? ✨️

HI SVENN sry this took a while to answer omg i got excited and have a lot to say ok

My DREAM cosplays are locked behind my measurements and top surgery low key bc they involve bodysuits LMAO but spiderman has been my biggest fixation for the last 15 or so years and while ive done a miles morales cosplay in the past i was p pleased with i always layer clothes on top. have dreams of specifically the 70s tv show suit, the amazing spiderman 2 suit (my favorite live action suit), and as visually accurate as possible atsv miles suit

The sleeper agent cosplay that lives forever in my soul is the 42 prowler suit from atsv. There’s SO MUCH technical work that i want to put into it that i get overwhelmed and put it on back burner but whenever i remember i get almost obesssive. I have so many ideas. Actually right before i started dealing with some health issues i began learning from youtube vids how to wire LED light strips and code arduino boards so that the lights can animate in fun colors and soldering properly so that i could animate lights in his bracer claw. Was also building his helmet!I hope to pick it back up sometime but i dont have any space in my room anymore to work on it unfortunately

All my good progress pics are on my old phone but here’s some kinda crappy photos of early in the process lol, idk if they’re really legible. The last shot is messing around w diffusers which was rlly fun too

All that being said, I think the actual cosplay I’m gonna work on for this upcoming con is red from bomb rush cyberfunk bc he’s a lot simpler lol. I also might be going as Len kagamine w my younger sister as Rin (but with a cowboys and aliens twist on the characters) bc shes rlly into Vloid rn and wants to come with me and I’d love to go all out to support her, and tbh theres like 12 different jjba cosplays i wanna do at some point

Other cosplays i have done are akira fudo from devilman, death the kid from soul eater (my fave so far!) gumball from amazing world of gumball which is another i did w my kid sibling as darwin, an obligatory howls moving castle cosplay, and probs a handful more in my middle school years i cant remember so well any more. I’m very much a casual and dont take pics of my finished works or post them anywhere but i just think its a lot of fun to make stuff and go to things dressed up and will take any excuse to do so

[shadowmaat]

if i may, this post of yours-- https://www.tumblr.com/shadowmaat/763959006774640640/ive-been-here-too-long -- randomly showed up on my "based on your likes", and as someone who's also been in fandom for a long time (though not the star wars fandom which i do hear is especially bad LOL), i really don't think you have to be that worried about the motives in fic :(

racial caricature is a problem, but it's not too hard to suss out. then, if you like a whump or ship fic, who cares if it's secretly a punishment story or an excuse to lavish onesided love and affection onto a character? in fact, there's nothing wrong with the latter! it can make the story worse writing, but if you enjoy it, that part doesn't matter! no reason you can't also indulge in the love, the affection, and the Character! (if the issue for example is that he's a white guy and the other characters get less hype, u can hype up the other characters and engage w stuff that hypes them up, but u don't have to avoid stuff that lavishes love on the first kind of dude to compensate for fandom povs!)

(i am sorry for this out-of-nowhere ask "^^ you seem to be pretty far outside my circles (i don't know how u got recced!) and i thought some thoughts from outside yours might do u good with how ur feeling, but of course i don't have context and don't know u lololol)

Tumblr is a weird place with weird ideas about what to recommend, that's for sure. LOL!

Thank you for your words. I'm working hard to build up my resistance to conspiracy-brain thinking, but knowing you're overreacting doesn't always mean you can stop it from happening, y'know? Brains are terrible that way, but venting helps. And hearing from others helps, too, so thanks for reaching out across the chaos. :)

(ps: I love your icon. Bubs was one of my favorite parts of Space Sweepers.)

[hpdfag]

I didn’t get to see the pink theme sadly but this deeper red one is so cool?? It probably looks much better in dark mode but I have too many eye problems too use it all the time ngl…I’ll check it out later!

How have you been doing? I recently got a bit too BPD and now I’m in this little stage where I really wanna improve as a person, getting into self care and all that shit. It’s a bit silly, and I’m sure it’s something akin to mania, but I think it’s good for me to feel so stimulated to take care of myself! For me, it’ll get me a compliment or two from my FP and overall I’ll feel better for them. And I end up feeling good for myself so…happiness for the whole family!

Tell me a bit about how you’ve been doing and all, stuff that happened (if anything!) or anything on your mind. We’re always open-eared around you :}

- 🧶

THANK U THANK U !!!!!! ive been on an editing kick again so ive been messing w/ the themes on basically all of my blogs .. im glad u like this one :D

i've been doing really well!! it's similar for me actually, i'm finally doing some really hard work with my therapist and it sucks but it's making me want to get better. i really do believe that it's what i'm here to do, and it feels wonderful to have a purpose again. i always say that the meaning of life is something you have to find for yourself, but i never really bothered with it. i always considered myself a lost cause. but maybe i can get out of this. maybe one day i won't feel so small and scared ... it feels wonderful to feel wonderful :]

and it is good !! even if it's just mania, it's always good to take care of yourself. i always relearn some unfortunate truths whenever i bother with self care like "i feel more like a person when i bother to shower and eat breakfast" LOLOL

overall i've been doing a lot better i think :] im finally starting to break out of the mindset i worked myself into with my ex and im feeling much better for it. i've actually had several people irl tell me that im looking visibly better completely unprompted and it catches me off gaurd every time haha

i haven't been doing much but !! im hoping to get back into the swing of things, especially with school coming up in september ... but it's gonna be the last year before college!! im a senior!! wtf!! it feels weird going into senior year at 16 but i did start kindergarten at like 4 years old so i guess it tracks /silly

right now the project i want to get back on is my neocities ... it's a total mess right now while i figure out html and css, but hopefully eventually i can make it my own !! it's very vaguely space themed right now but eventually i wanna theme it off of myself since like. all of our interests come and go but unfortunately i remain /silly .. it'll be difficult but lots of fun !! (i have it linked here if u wanna poke around it in its current laughably unfinished state, itll look best on google chrome on desktop!)

ive been spending a bit more time with my mom recently too, ive been rewatching some of my favorite anime with her and we're gonna watch some newer ones too!! (we've gotten thru evangelion and madoka magica so far, and we're gonna start cowboy bebop next ^_^)

auauauaua ive started rambling like hell but !! im glad to be able 2 chat with u, it's always one of the highlights of our day :]

[furymint]

2023 Creator Reflection

ffxiv.

1. dance me to the end of love

this one was fun! i always like merging a character's outfit with the bg so i liked doing that again. picking the colors for elliots outfit was also enjoyable. ive wanted to make smth w that cover for a while

2. shame was still the tyrant of his life

i only wrote two nol and eli things this year and neither of them are finished. the first was a continuation of a scene where nol kisses elliot against the blue stained glass in his room--i once posted it but then i deleted it bc it made me feel woozy for its allusions to sex. i wanted to rebuild it and take a shot at it now that im comfortable writing n reading sex, but i never got very far. theres actually lots of nice parts! i just like nols dumb angsting the best!

3. valentine

i really wanted to focus on nol's eye here, but also not make it too obvious lol. i used a ps filter like a schmuck but i wanted it to be darker without making it even more difficult to see, so i took away their bodies and limited the colors to make it what it is.

4. amateur cracksmen

the second nol n eli wip, which doesnt have many interesting lines rn, was a raffles-inspired story where eli drags nol as his valet to a rival artist's house and tries to steal back the brooch that he bought from an underground dealer feat. much babbling abt the state of societal responsibility that war is supposed to bring

ffxvi.

1. herz an herz dir

i wrote some reflections about this one already here. i honestly was very (distressed voice) cant believe im writing pure fanfic for the first time in over ten years and lacked a lot of direction when i started bc uhhhhh terence has 8 and a half mins of screen time. i tried to convince myself that it's not much different than me stealing brucemont for my own evil devices, but the unique perspective of seeing quite so much fan content def influenced my interpretation. i wanted their relationship to be much more imbalanced from the get-go initially--dion using his power unintentionally and terence barely passing a thought abt it until later bc he's just so accustomed to obeying--but i ended up giving terence a lot more sway & ammunition in their argument. the breakfast bed thing is also smth im rly fond of.

2. mund an mund

there's also additional meta for this one here. i made a silly doodle abt it also. dion kept picking fights here! it honestly turned out how i expected. when i first started this fic, i was gonna have dion start out right in oriflamme and meet ter and kihel there, but i booted them to northreach so i could have this stretch of conflict. i think it's like. Bad Pacing. technically. if i still believe the conflict introduced in the next chapter is the core one, that is. which i sorrrrta do. but i dont care bc i rly like the visual of kihel laying in dion's lap and getting to put a gun on the wall w ahmed.

3. eines atems

its been two months since the last chapter and this chapter is humiliatingly not written. i have all my scrambled notes and scenes that i jotted down in between the first two chapters, so i have a full direction, but it's been really difficult to write lately. ive been devoting all my time to trying to recoup my mental health and work on my teredio secret santa. ill start next year with this wip as a priority, so for now i only have the photoshop edit for it. kihel is holding terence's hand--it's his pov turn.

overall i didnt like this year very much. i didn't read, create, research or do a lot even though i tried to. i became really disconnected from all of my friends bc im too tired to stay for rp or hold online conversations. at this point, i dont play ffxiv at all except the few times i managed to rp a little. i moved into nanny's house and have my own space, but don't have the presence of mind to do anything about my pc, books, and so on, although i did make a lot of progress rewrapping my books w fresh wraps and some other things. my plans for next year are to reach out to a couple of my friends, build my pc, relearn + rebuild + relaunch my queer lit blog on open source code, survive school, and rediscover the productivity ive lost the past few years.

teredio has helped me a LOT to find community, inspiration, and art in my loneliest year yet. im very proud of my fic and grateful every day to the ppl who have reached out to me about liking it. even if im sorry about my productivity rate in comparison to how many extraordinary writers there are in the ship's fandom, i know i have to be easy on myself to relearn how to write, create a writing schedule that works for me, and stop punishing myself when i cant get the words out.

past reflections:  2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

[tipsy-scales]

Wowowow my YouTube channel has reached 500 subscribers 🥹

I’ll do a commemorative breakdown of the channel so far—

Read below the cut if you’re into the lore lol

So far I have 27 videos! I started wanting to do needlefelt + discussion but got rlly into customizing figures & then into dolls.

My original plan was to do crafting + discussion but to keep it vague. Like oh a craft? surprise! A mini essay! But I’m proud of my discussion points & I think I lose potential audience by not mentioning it so now when I promo the videos I talk about what my discussion points are.

So far my most viewed videos are:

Making Lust’s nendo doll (I was going to do the rest of the homunculi. I still have all the parts but I wanna buy an airbrush & im scared)

And my review on nendo doll Len Kagamine! I actually 😔 sold him off a while after

Views suggest my vids should be 15-25 minutes but I keep making long ones 😮‍💨Ive put in effort to split things up. My Selim custom doll vid included blushing but I split it into a separate vid for 2B/9S

My longest video is about the NieR concert at 2 hours 🤐

This one’s a vlog which is my poorest performing type but it did ok for what it was. This one’s more of a personal vid using the concert as backdrop.

Atm the series I’ve made most vids about is Fullmetal Alchemist at 7

The topic w the most videos is Figures w 7

I think doll videos are very promising though! However I’ve tried to space them out bc I don’t want to be seen as a doll channel only (+pressure to get more dolls)

The next video I’m working on is about getting into Ouji fashion. Then I want to follow with some doll photo diaries & more custom figure projects. I’m out of the job atm which is unfortunate but I hope to get the most out of my free time until I figure things out.

Anyway here’s my channel if you’d like to check it out. It’s been fun ironing out the channel & I rlly enjoy making videos. I can’t believe I started a YouTube lol

[temporarymoods]

mwah

scatch what i said on that last post. idk her. im CHILLINGGGGG!!!

MarMon today: yes I celebrated. you gotta. duh. Patriot's Day-- a Mass thing!? Hilarious.

We went to the race and yelled and screamed and cheered on at various points. Walked a bunch. Got sunburnt in that shallow way, but my nose is pink. It was pretty emotional! So proud of everyone. Kept thinking that this is kind of one of the best things humanity can do. Anyway-- B)

Got sambas, lmfao?! Trying to look like a boy. Followed by some really good pasta. and then trying to look like a girl. i went to a frat! for the first time! i got champagne on my sambas. christened. the person who clocked me as queer at the party said "christened" after i had minutes prior. yeah. a good thing

- - i know the gender thing of it is ridiculous but for some reason my soft complicated body craves that sexual weirdness between men and women and particularly these young men and women in that..disgusting atmosphere. a disgusting atmosphere. really hungry for that generalization.. it's true. im really attracted to men

other than that^ being tough,

i went DANCINGGG!!!!!1!1!11!!11!!

and I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!111!1

What a GREAT night!!! i can't put into words how amazing i feel even though that is why i came here...shucks. has the moment past? did i spend too much time on the queue?

My foot is sore as I type this. I came home so inspired and read up on country swing vs other kinds (I knew jazz swing was the thing, and swing dancin aint line dancin !) then i listened to a lot of good music:

Slow Dancing - Aly & AJ * total classic for me lmao. damn they have the best spotify top 5

Let's Get Married - Bill Elliot Swing Orchestra * when i didn't yet understand that i had to look up **country** swing music. now i know ;) god i cant wait to go again

-- what is it?! i think its that i really love to dance, to move my body, to try and get it right, to improve? to be good? to have fun in a choreographed way. to conform. the do the correct thing. idk

here's what i think its really about: i think i like smootheness. and i like the click of a phenomenon you can't pull a word for. and short counts. and intention. and shape. mostly shape. beat, sure, too. i like beat. i like rising to it, and not tiring. i dont know how i get so obsessed. i need to go back. that was exactly what ive been looking for for months, and what i thought i found but only got in part in the club, which i go to for the dancing, the loud music, the blindingness. but i dont contribute there. my ears are filled but the sound can only vibrate me a little. im not, swung, literally. and i cant provide energy to the space like you can witcha boots awn. so yeah, i think thats really it. dancing. i fucking love dancing. ive always fucking loved dancing. for real! really! i never got that good, yeah. but i fucking loved it thats for sure. i always wanted someone to actually teach me shit. they didnt do that enough in theatre. maybe they did. maybe i just wasnt that talented. not now though. dead. fucking. ass. just input my entire work calendar that i have access to because this shits getting real my life is mine and theres fan fucking tastic things to be doing with it.

alright...i could continue...i'll pick up the rest in my dairy ;* not gonna get too personal, phew. uhm. eh hem.

That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain

Tequila - Dan + Shay

End of Beginning - Djo * lmao i got on this because i saw some interview w him online as im jamminggugghh i got sucked in. then all this happened:

Change - Djo * so much better than the one blowin up btw

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics, etc * i looked up more songs like Change :| hahaha. then all this happened:

Lifetime - Yves Tumor

Pop Song - Perfume Genius

Here Comes the Rain Again - Eurythmics, etc

Here Comes Your Man - Pixies

Eye in the Wall - Perfume Genius

Boys - Amen Dunes * at this point my original mission is fucked. the intention's gone. i'm so far from where i started: country lovin

at the same time the joint i rolled before we went out and shared on the way home is getting its way through my system for sure. its approaching 2am, woah! full day tomorrow but not nearly as inspired at this one. this one's literally how you're supposed to live . well maybe beer not getting stolen at the bar mmmm. mhm. yeah i'll tack that on as well.

i didnt, dont, want to let go of tonight skrrreorgihveouhv!!!! uuuummm! yeah i should keep thinking about it. : ) : ) hehehehehe

Man! I Feel Like a Woman! - Shania Twain

<3 , so much ;)

Kate

[crucifiedfaerie]

HOWDY!!!!!🤠

I hope you are having the most amazing day/night (it’s 12:30am right now for me, whoopsies)

I saw your post about stan accounts who follow you and I’m gonna be totally honest, totally might be me (I’m a new follower because I have re-entered my Adam Driver is a refrigerator I would like to climb and open)! But I will say, I try to stay away from the actual celeb(s) and their die hard stans because they are, put lightly, CRAY CRAY!!!! Like a literal war zone sometimes. I admire their hot-ness and their fictional characters’ bangability from a distance of the celeb/rpf!

Anywho, I have only been following for a little, but I want you to know that I LOVE YOUR BEN SOLO WRITING!!! Especially nicotine stains, I love me a modern au and yours is simply delicious!!!

Like so good I might shit myself from excitement when pt 2 comes out!!!!!!!! And I mean that in a good way!!!!

Any way, this has gone on way too long. Have a great day!!! I hope it is as amazing as you are!!!!

🫀🫀🙇‍♀️

omg its all good! i was half joking anyways i really dont care who or what ppl enjoy, im just personally not a [redacted] supporter ! at the end of the day we're all just freaks on the internet trying to have fun.

i totally agree w you though there's certain fanbases who take shit way too far... some more than others but i feel like it can be found in every fandom to a certain degree. there are even icky adam fans out there that i try to steer clear of. like ppl who slander his wife, that shit is so not cool. i love him and thirst after him as much as the next fan but like man :( hes a human being and shes a human being and they love each other and have kids... theres a certain line that should not be crossed. ppl tend to forget that celebrities are real people with feelings.

and aaaaa omg thank you!! it makes me so happy to hear that ppl genuinely enjoy my silly little stories about my emo little guy <3 nicotine stains has got to be my fav so far as well, its literally so fun to write and delinquent!kylo just fills my heart with so much joy. its also nice to not write something so heavy and dark every now and then for a change. kylo ren fanfiction in general tends to always be super sad and sometimes i just wanna see my emo space bf be happy for once lmao.

and girl- me too honestly. im currently writing pt 2 and im making even myself giggle and kick my feet so im super excited to finally put it out... its very overdue bc ive been distracted by a bunch of stuff. (the bunch of stuff in question being a 59 chapter ao3 fic lmao) but if youd like to be added to the taglist so you can be notified when its out, you can always pm me !!!

i hope you have a lovely night/morning as well (its 1am for me lol) and thank you sm again for your kind words on my work, it truly means the most 🫶🏻