#BUT this is what ive got so far!!!! working w the space ive got!!!!

[thekidsarentalright]

fob/music corner (shrine) in my room is coming together nicely 😌 (ft my gecko (bishops) cage)

[phagodyke]

anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶‍♂️

[bratphilia]

would it be a bother to ask for a fic w a tomboy reader and william afton? ive been on such a kick w william afton x reader fics here since i watched the movie and i love all of them but i am not feminine in the slightest so if you could write one id be so grateful!! and age gap and size difference too would also be sooo 👌👌👌. thank you so much!!!

note ✧.*‎ this was a lil hard for me to write considering im on the girly-er side so if anything looks weird in relation to the premise i apologize in advance!! also so sorry for getting this out a lil later than promised.

pairing ✧.*‎ steve raglan / william afton x reader

cw ✧.*‎ age difference (reader is 18-21, william is 45-50), degrading, spanking, approximately two slaps to the face, blow jobs, rubbing through jeans? idk what to call that, coming in pants (fem)

taglist ✧.*‎ @dilfity

synopsis ✧.*‎ while attending yet another meeting with your career counsellor, he has a few choice of words for you.

jeans (w. afton x reader)

you sit in mr. raglan's office, trying to sit straight up, legs crossed, not bouncing. he slightly shifts in his chair as he reads your file, moving his spinning chair from side to side, as he mentally scrutinizes your report. it's nerve-wracking. anyone in your shoes would feel this way, but the way he's intently reading over every little detail makes you squirm.

the worst part is, this isn't even the first time you've been in this exact position. it wouldn't be so bad if mr. raglan wasn't such a hard ass on you. always practically demanding answers of why you keep getting let go from the jobs he gives you, criticizing the tiniest details. nothing gets passed this guy, and yet here you are.

(there's something that almost riles you up about the way he talks to you, though. he has a habit of talking with those big hands of his in a way that makes your insides twist.)

"so you sit here in front of me..." he pipes up suddenly, looking at you then lifting a brow, "wearing jeans to a meeting, for christ sake, asking for yet another job, so what? you can get 'let go' again?"

"well, yes," you say, a little dumbstruck at his comment on your attire.

mr. raglan laughs shortly. "i got news for you, kid. people with your kinda track record don't exactly find jobs as easy as you think they do."

you hold back from rolling your eyes. your fists clench at your side angrily. you speak through gritted teeth, "look, i just need a job. i'll take anything, i'm desperate."

"hate to break it to you, but things just don't work like that—"

you've had it. "will you just stop being such an asshole and give me my damn options already?! i didn't come here to be lectured."

you're seething, breathless from your outburst. your heart is pounding but nothing can beat the jaw-slacked look on his face. there's a deafening silence that has you on the edge of your seat. then, shortly, "you come here for advice, and i'm giving it to you."

you want to say something again, you open your mouth to do so, but he raises a hand to silence you promptly. "you said you're desperate, hm? want my real, useful advice?"

you stare at him, not liking the direction of this conversation or his weirdly tone of dripping malice. "get the fuck on your knees then."

it's hot, you'll admit it. and he's the whole package too, total dad-i'd-like-to-fuck and all. this isn't your type of deal, but if he's gonna offer it to you, fuck it, you'll take it. you'll take everything this man gives you. "mr. raglan—" you say, purposefully furrowing your brows, trying to act scandalized for godsake—

"get your ass over here," he scoffs with a roll of his eyes.

you shut up, perking up at that, and make way to the open space between his legs. "look at you, you degenerate thing. on your knees for such a cause."

your head swims and the buzzing between your thighs becomes far too apparent to be ignored. but you're willing to wait for that relief. you part your lips expectantly, hoping he'd get the message to undo his pants and he just laughs at you. "filthy fucking thing wants my cock in her mouth so bad."

"uh-huh," you say, mouth still open.

he does away with all the restraints and guides his cock into your mouth. eagerly, you take him and lick up the underside of his dick, eliciting a groan from him. he makes a fist around your hair and guides your mouth up and down his cock, not caring about what you can and can't take and you fucking love it.

the noises of him hitting your gag reflex is music to the mouth of your ears. the way you push him out only for him to slide back in is truly a marvel. and the grunts, groaning, and degradations that come from him makes you want to take him even faster, more than what your body can handle, and he just laughs it off, commenting on much of an "eager, filthy thing" you are.

when you feel his helping hands thrust your mouth more erratically is when he decides to pull you off. he uses your hair to stand you up and practically shove you against the desk, back facing towards him. you yelp in pain, only adding to the ache in your stomach. he stands to his full height and you gulp. fuck, he's so much bigger than you, of course he can just throw you around like that. when you ask him if you should remove your clothes, he pauses for a moment, thinking. then, mischievously, "no, i want to make good use of those jeans."

curiously, you look back at him, but his fingers are pressing against your clothed pussy. he presses hard, letting the fabric grind on you. "oh, fuck," you moan.

"yeah? you like that?" he asks gruffly, rubbing your clit through your pants from side to side. usually this stimulation wouldn't be enough, but fuck you were so hot for him that you didn't care. "fuckin' dressed like a boy," he scoffs.

tears burn in your eyes, partly from his words, the other part from the stimulation. then he slaps you across the face. "i asked you a fucking question."

"yes!" you cry, moving a hand to rub at your stinging cheek. he grabs your hand and then slaps the other side of your face, just for fun. a few tears slip down your face at his physicality, but doesn't change that fact that you, "love it so much!"

"think you deserve to come?" he asks. "after that shit you pulled. you think you deserve it?"

you sniffle, knowing damn well what his answer's going to be. "well, i don't."

he removes his hands then promptly wipes them on his pants. you sob out, grasping for his hands but he pushes off of you. "you better come back with a better attitude if you expect anything more than what i gave you."

[kzele]

From the Roots Up

Peter puts a plan into motion in order to shake the foundations of the underworld. Neither Rhino or Sandman were prepared. Tombstone will be even less so.

Something was weird about this fight. As for what that something was? That was the itch that Flint Marko couldn't scratch. The web-head was cracking jokes like usual. And O'Hirn was getting angry at the guy like usual. There was punching and dodging going on, same as all the other fights.

Except. . .Spider-Man wasn't making many offensive moves. Sure, punches and kicks didn't do much to either of them but that never seemed to stop him from having a trick up his sleeve. He kept flipping further and further away towards some street work. Alarm bells rang in Flint's head. As someone who had challenged Spidey on a regular basis, both as plain Flint Marko and Sandman, he knew how tricky his enemy could be in a fight.

"Hey, wait up!" he called out to Rhino. "Don't let 'im separate-"

The ground chose that moment to give way beneath his long-time partner's feet.

"Ahhhhh-oof!"

He sighed, ". . .Nevermind."

"Well, you did try," the vigilante's chimed in.

He glared at the ever-present cause of his misfortune, who flipped flawlessly mid-air into the new hole in the street like one o' those fancy gymnasts on TV.

"You're welcome to join your buddy and me down here. Or not. Although, he might've mentioned at one point that he doesn't do too well in tunnels, especially by himself," the bug's voice continued to echo up through the hole.

Flint remembered all right. After that blowout of a fight, O'Hirn had to be rehydrated while knocked out and then sedated. How they managed to do that without any skin on his arms to put an IV, the silicate supervillain had no idea.

Leaving O'Hirn alone to face the guy that scared the pants off of most of the underworld was not an option. If they got caught again, it was nothing new, but at least he wouldn't be a wuss for letting his partner get caught alone.

He jumped down.

Sometimes, Flint thinks, it pays to have superpowers. because that drop wouldn't've gone as good if he had normal legs instead of sand.

As his eyes adjust, he can make out . . . train tracks?? Are they in part of the subway or something? He was about to look around further for Rhino but-

CRASH!

-that wasn't needed.

"Marko! Glad you could make it! I hope the decor isn't too rustic for your tastes. O'Hirn doesn't seem to appreciate it that much," the weblinger snarked as he dodged yet another punch.

"I'll 'appreciate' it when I crush you all over the the walls, you sneaky little creep!" Rhino growled.

A high-powered jump onto the subway ceiling and Rhino could not longer follow through on that promise.

"As much as I would like to see you both fail at that again, that's not why I arranged this chat."

Flint snorted, "Oh, sure. Let me guess. You want to talk us into giving ourselves up and going straight."

Spider-Man made an so-so motion.

"Not exactly. But not too far off either. A good guess, though. And a choice that I wouldn't be opposed to either of you making."

They both opened their mouths and a hand shot up to halt their next words. Another hand webbed the hole next to the vigilante shut.

"There. I made sure we wouldn't be interrupted by cops anytime soon. The old tunnel we're in needs repairs but it's the workers' day off, so can you just hear me out for a second before attempting another murder on me here?"

Neither he or Rhino moved. They look at each other and then up at Spidey and then back to each other.

This was definitely out of the norm. Was it another trick? But why trap himself down here in the same space with two of his longtime enemies then? It made no sense!

His mouth was now moving but the words were surprising even him, "Well, uhhh. . .alright."

His partner shot him a look but he shot him one right back. They were both stuck down and he was curious, so sue him!

Spider-Man tilted his head, "Huh, this wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be. Well you see, when I said hear me out, I should have been more precise. I should have said 'hear me and the Big Man out'."

And with that, a little recorder was suddenly playing in the guy's hands.

"I'm here to see Mr. Lincoln."

"Then you should make an appointment."

//Line Break//

Peter could see the looks on their faces switch from interest to the beginnings of an unpleasant realization.

"Wait. You can't listen to him. He's the bad guy. He's--"

He clicked the tape off.

When he had broken into Tombstone's office that day, he had recorded the conversation just in case the guy said anything that could be used against him in court. It worked on sting operations and TV an awful lot. (Or maybe just the stings ops on TV??) But the more he rewinded and listened to it, however, the more he realized that very little wouldn't be thrown out in court. Between Lincoln's evasive wording around being the Big Man, the charges he brought against Spidey in the tape, plus the wealth and reputation the jerk has. . . Well, Peter knew nothing would come from showing the tape to any above board and official sources.

That's when it hit him. Spidey wasn't the only being treated like a pawn in that exchange. In fact, he'd wager guys like Marko and O'Hirn knew nothing about why they were made.

"He offered you money?!"//"I'll kill 'im! He set us up for jail!"

Called it. Poor guys.

"Hold up! One at a time, please. Yes, Sandy, he offered me a big briefcase full of cash to stay out of the way."

"H-how big a score are we talking here?"

Marko looked like he was about two seconds from breaking down in tears.

"Two rows of seven. All hundreds. None of the cash bundles in any row looked anemic," he responded matter-of-factly.

Sandman slumped onto the ground with his face in his hands.

"Soo, um, anything you want to ask, Rhino?"

Hornhead was trembling in rage and it seemed like a tremendous effort to open his mouth with the way he was grinding his teeth.

"Lincoln. Where do I find him?"

"I could tell you but trust me when I say smashing him is only going to make the problem worse."

"Then why tell us all this?! Look at what you did! You smashed everythin' we thought we knew and now you don't want to get the piece o' crud back?!"

"I didn't say I didn't want him taken down. Look, I could have accepted the money and been at home right now counting the zeros in my bank account. Instead, I'm here. All I'm saying is that smashing him only opens up his throne to people like the Goblin, who FYI, is far worse than Tombstone. And that's saying something."

"So we're screwed no matter what, then," Marko interjected from his seat on the floor.

Sandman's voice sounded lifeless and Rhino was clearly struggling to find anything to say to him.

Peter took a deep breath, "I made the mistake of thinking people like you were the enemy. I started being Spider-Man to help the little guy but I think we're all the little guy here. The Big Man thinks of us as little numbers on a ledger or like chess pieces if we get powerful enough to get noticed. Even if you go against him openly, he'll just replace you. With every day that passes, you're less and less unique because he can churn out more like you. And he'll ruin more people to send against me unless. . ."

Both sets of eyes were looking at him now. Even Rhino had calmed enough to seem interested in listening again.

"Unless what?"

"Unless we do the opposite of what Mr. Benevolent Overlord wants and team up."

End of Part One (Possibly more to come???)

[guilty-pleasures21]

Yooooooooouuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!! You SUCK!

Ahh! I love them so much!!!

0. The slow burn

1. There are too many. TOO MANY!!

Part 1 - the bad day

Part 2 - the injury

Part 3 - the sleepover

Part 4 - the lovesick teenager/the gym

Part 5 - the eyedrops

Warnings: none.

----------------------------------------------------------

It had been a few days since she’d last seen him. The nurses had put her on an IV for two days before clearing her to leave. Then she’d taken another day of rest before returning to HQ to check on Miguel: he hadn’t been to visit her once since their last mission. Not a ‘how are you feeling’ or a simple ‘hola, arañita’, not even through text! She bounced into the control room, her footsteps getting even lighter when she saw him standing on the platform by his computer. “Miguel? Are you busy?”

     She webbed up to the platform to stand beside him, but he didn’t look up, refusing to meet her gaze. “Yes.” 

     “Oh,” she said when he didn’t elaborate. He wasn’t ever so brusque with her - not with her. “Um, I���m fine now! The doctors said I was all right.”

More silence. She took a step closer to him, trying to sneak a glance at whatever he was working on. “Can I help?”

     “No.”

Her stomach churned as she wondered if he might be angry. Not at her, maybe, but … She tugged on her chair, dragging it closer to her so she could take a seat beside him. 

“I’ll just-” He sighed loudly, interrupting her. Finally, he turned to her, his eyes narrowed in irritation.

“Can you just … go?” She froze, stunned by the response.

  “W-What?” He turned back to his screens. 

     “I don’t need you messing up my missions anymore,” he told her, his voice flat, emotionless. “Just go fight some lowlife criminals from your dimension or something. Seems to be the only thing you’re actually good at.” Her chest tightened at his response, the tears beginning to build up behind her eyes. How could he say that? 

“How can you say that, Miguel?” He turned to face her, his brows pulled low in a frown. 

     “Because!” He took a step closer to her, his expression thunderous as he towered over her. “You’re incapable and incompetent! You almost got yourself killed on a mission even Pav and Hobie had no trouble with!”

Because she’d saved them! They’d only had no trouble because she was the one who’d defeated Loki, the one who’d saved them all! But the fear was too great for her to speak, seeping into her bones and squeezing around her insides. She curled into herself, backing away from him slowly, meticulously avoiding his gaze. 

     “How could you be so stupid?!” he continued, taking a step forward every time she took one back. “How could you, of all people, be so dumb?!” She stopped, her foot finding empty space when she tried to take another step backwards. 

     “Just … go home to your comics or whatever,” he finished, returning to his computer. “I don’t need you here anymore.” She opened her mouth to try to respond, but then shut it again, too terrified to say anything. What if she spoke and another hurtful insult fell from his lips? She slapped her hand over her mouth as a sob slipped out. Then she turned and ran far away from him. 

     Peter strolled into the room, whistling a tune from one of the cartoons Mayday had started watching recently. It was a cheery tune, one that had gotten stuck in his head and refused to leave. He waved a hand up at Miguel, brooding on the platform as he normally did. “Hey, Miguel! Where’s X? I haven’t seen her in a few days.” 

     Miguel shrugged, not looking at him. “I don’t know. She probably went home or something.” 

     “Hmm,” Peter began, landing on the platform beside him. “I heard she got injured. Is she okay?” His heart squeezed in his chest at the reminder, his breath catching in his throat. He turned to Peter, scowl on his face. 

     “Why don't you go ask her yourself?!” Peter held his hands up in surrender. 

     “Whoa! Hey! What’s wrong, Miguel?” He placed a gentle hand on his friend’s shoulder, but Miguel shrugged it off grumpily. “Miguel. What happened? I talked to Pav and Hobie and they said she got injured and that you were freaking out.” Miguel sniffed.

     “I wasn’t … ‘freaking out’,” he mumbled. Peter folded his arms across his chest and tapped his foot on the ground, waiting. Finally, Miguel sighed. “She messed up, okay? She did something … stupid and I … I dismissed her.” 

     “‘Dismissed her’?” Peter echoed. “What does that even mean? And what did she do that was so bad?” Miguel pursed his lips, knowing Peter wasn’t going to like his answer. 

     “She … She almost got herself killed using Scorpion’s venom.” Again, a lump formed in his throat at the thought. “So, I … I told her to leave. I said we didn’t need her anymore.” ‘I’ - ‘I don’t need you anymore’; that’s what he’d said. He winced as Peter began yelling at him. 

     “You what?!” Peter exclaimed, waving his hands in the air in disbelief. “How could you say that to her, Miguel?! You know how much she cares about you - I know how much she cares about you; everyone knows how much she cares about you.” He waited until Miguel turned to face him, the shame shining through his features. Then he sighed. Because he cared about her too. Just as much as she cared about him; that was obvious to everyone as well. He returned his hand to Miguel’s shoulder.

     “Are you mad at her because she made one mistake? For the first time?” He paused to let the words sink in. “Or are you mad because you were scared you might lose her?” 

     He sucked in a breath at the memory of her convulsing in his arms, at the fear he’d felt racing through his veins. The fear he’d let push her away, causing him to lose her anyway. 

     “Go find her, Miguel,” Peter told him. “Apologise. For once in your life.” Miguel narrowed his eyes at that, fixing Peter with an exasperated look. But then he clicked on his watch anyway, opening up a portal to take him to her house.

     He landed in the entryway of her apartment, his head almost brushing the ceiling as he looked around. It was small, but cosy; neat, but welcoming. Just like her. Her head popped up over the sofa and she hopped up quickly when she saw him, scurrying over to the light switch by her bedroom to dim the lights. And it killed him. It killed him that, even after he’d hurt her as much he had, she still found it so easy to care for him. He deactivated his mask and called out to her softly. “¿Arañita?”

     She flinched at the familiar nickname, the one reserved only for the two of them, and it felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice cold water over his head. He clenched his jaw, not caring for the feeling one bit. “What do you want, Miguel?” 

     Her voice was cold, flat, and she refused to meet his gaze as she spoke, her eyes fixed instead on her own feet. He began making his way over to her, each step slow, careful, like he was worried any sudden movements might cause her to bolt. He reached a hand out, wanting to run his fingers through the strands of her hair, to push it out of her face so he could see those almond-shaped eyes and rosy cheeks and soft, curved lips. But again, she pulled away, and again, his heart dropped into his stomach. His fingers twitched, aching to reach out and comfort her. And it terrified him. It terrified him how much he wanted to hold her, to pull her into his arms and keep her safe, always. He ground his teeth together, trying to contain his emotions. 

     “X, I’m sorry,” he began slowly. “For what I said. And how I treated you. I was … I was just scared, that I might … that I might …” He let his words trail off, unable to finish the sentence, the horrible thought that had plagued his mind for the past few days. But she just glared at him, angry now, her eyes red and swollen from how she’d cried earlier. Because of him. Because of what he’d said to her. His heart ached at the sight. 

     “So?!” she exclaimed. “I was scared too! You didn’t see me throwing a tantrum about it!” She frowned at him, waiting for his excuse. But there was no excuse. He’d made a mistake and he needed to apologise. He’d own up and take accountability for his actions, apologising to her over and over and over again until she forgave him. 

     “You’re right,” he agreed. “I’m sorry. I was wrong and … and …”

     “You know what?” She crossed her arms over her chest, her gaze still fixed on him. “I am sick and tired of angry men! I’ve already had to grow up around so many, I’m not going to put myself through that again; not if I can help it. And I can help it now: I’m an adult now. I get to decide who I want to keep and who I don’t.”

     'Do you want to keep me?’. The words hovered on the tip of his tongue. He wouldn’t be able to bear it if she said she didn’t. 

     “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I … It won’t happen again. I promise.” She stood her ground, her expression unconvinced. So he pushed on. 

     “I just-” His voice cracked as the memory came flooding back to him: her, lying in his arms, convulsing as her body tried to rid itself of the venom running through her veins. Her, flopping over, and him not even breathing as he waited, waited for her to wake up, to say something, to do anything. “You were just lying there, arañita! And I … I …” 

     She let her arms fall back to her sides, her features scrunching up in concern. He was having a panic attack, she recognised it. She crept over to him carefully, trying not to startle him, and bent over to try to catch his gaze. His eyes remained fixed on the floor, wild and restless as he re-lived whatever memories were running through his mind right then. She reached up slowly and took his face in her hands, tilting his head towards her. 

     “Miguel? I’m okay. I’m okay.” She brushed her thumbs along his cheeks. “Look at me. What colour is my hair?” He hesitated, trying to bring his attention back to the present, to focus on her standing in front of him, waiting for him to respond. 

     “Brown?” 

     “And my eyes?” 

     He stared into her eyes, his breathing slowing down a little as he studied them. “Dark brown.” 

     “And my tongue?” She stuck her tongue out and wriggled it playfully, trying to retain his attention. He relaxed a little more. 

     “Pink.” She lowered her hands to his, stroking her thumbs across them. 

     “Take your gloves off,” she commanded him gently. He complied and she took hold of his hands, curling her fingers around them. “How does my skin feel?” 

     “Smooth. Cold.” He engulfed her small hands in his large ones, trying to warm her up. She smiled up at him, the curl of her lips beneath her puffy eyes tugging at his heartstrings again. 

     “And my hair? What does it smell like?” She took a step forward, burying her face in his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist. He found his own hands landing on her back, and he ran his fingers gently along her spine as he rested his cheek on the top of her head. 

     “It smells … fruity. Citrus-y?” 

     “I just washed it,” she told him, her voice muffled by his chest. She pulled back to look up at him, her arms still curled loosely around his waist. “Do you want to sit down?” He nodded and she guided him over to the sofa to take a seat. She sank into the cushions beside him, then arranged his arm over the back of the headrest so she could curl up against his side. She reached up, placing two fingers against the side of his neck. 

     “What are you doing?” he asked her, a tinge of amusement clouding his voice. She sat back to look up at him. 

     “Feeling for your pulse.” She grabbed his hand and placed his fingers on her neck, moving the other to rest on his neck. “Is it okay? Is your heart still beating too fast?” He remained silent for a moment, counting out the beats as they pulsed against his fingers. 

     “It’s slowing down now.” 

     “Try to match mine.” She rolled her eyes, smiling at the thought. “Or less, probably.”

His lips twitched at the joke, but he kept his fingers against her neck, measuring the beating of his heart against hers. She ran her fingers along his thigh as she waited, her nails scratching over his skin lightly in a way that kept distracting him from the task at hand. He looked up and studied her carefully, his gaze trailing over her slowly as he reassured himself that she was okay; that she was real and she was safe, her heart pulsing in her chest, the blood rushing through her arteries beneath his fingers. Finally, he dropped his hands back to his lap. “I think it’s all right now.”

She hummed in acknowledgement, then curled back into his side, her body small and soft against his. Eventually, she sat back to look up at him. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

He hesitated, afraid to pose the question. 

     “Can I … Can I stay over? Just for tonight! I just … I just want to make sure you’re okay.” He avoided her gaze as he waited for her answer. Stupid, it was a stupid question. How stupid of him to reveal just how much he truly cared about her, how embarrassing. 

     “Of course!” she replied quickly, not even needing to think twice about it. She glanced around her tiny apartment, thinking. “Do you mind sleeping on the sofa? It’s a pull-out! I just don’t think my bed would be big enough for the both of us.” 

     She understood; she understood exactly what he needed right now - exactly how he was feeling and how to help him feel better. And she made it seem so easy too, as if she didn’t even need to spare a second thought when it came to him. He shifted in his seat, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “My bed … should be. If that’s … If you’re comfortable with that.” 

     “Sure.” She shrugged, not seeming bothered in the slightest by the idea of sharing a bed with him. She glanced at his suit. “But do you need to go back first?”

     “Yeah,” he nodded, suddenly feeling back to normal again. “I still have some stuff I need to clear up.” 

     “Okay. I’ll just call my mum first. Then we can go after.” She leaned back against the sofa. “Do you want to have dinner here though? I can order something.”

She was a terrible cook; she’d whined about once before, in the pantry with some of the other Spiders. ‘It’s a curse!’, she’d lamented. ‘Everything I cook turns out both raw and burnt!’. She picked up her phone and began scrolling through it. 

     “Roti prata?” Her favourite food - besides the instant noodles he’d tried to ban from HQ to stop her from eating them so often. So he’d made it a regular dish: pizza on Fridays, roti prata on Saturdays. Instant noodles for lunch on Saturdays when she managed to sneak it into the canteen before he caught her too. 

     “What do you want to eat?” he asked. X tapped her phone against her mouth as she considered. 

     “Can I get the one with the chicken and the onion already inside of it? The stuffed one.” She tapped on her phone for a bit, then held it out to him, showing him a picture of what he’d asked for. 

     “This one?” He nodded in agreement and she added it to the cart. Then she looked up at him again, her eyes narrowing in suspicion as she considered him. 

     “You want one?” she asked him. “Or two …” He sighed, his lips quirking at the ends anyway. 

     “Mierda, arañita. Why do you always think I can eat so much?” She laughed. 

     “Uh, because you’re kind of freakin’ huge?!” She poked his broad chest to illustrate her point. “Where else am I supposed to think all this muscle comes from?” He rolled his eyes, trying not to smile. 

     “One is enough, arañita.” She sank back into her seat and shrugged. 

     “Suit yourself, big guy.” He frowned and poked her in the side, causing her to shriek and pull away immediately - because she was so painfully ticklish. She glared up at him, blowing away a loose curl that had fallen into her eyes.

     “You’re so mean, Miguel.” He scoffed incredulously. 

     “You’re the one calling me big!” And suddenly, it was easy again, easier than it had been in a long time. But just with her - only with her. She trailed her gaze over him, appraising him carefully and biting on her lip in a way that had the blood rushing to his neck. She tapped her phone on her mouth again, giving him a suggestive look. 

     “Are you not?” F*ck. His breath hitched in his throat and he pushed himself out of his seat, putting some distance between them. 

     “I should be back in about two hours.” He re-activated his mask and opened up a portal to take him back to HQ. “Hasta luego, arañita.”

     “Hasta luego, Miguel.” 

     She took in his apartment, her eyes wide with disbelief. It was so big! And so fancy! A penthouse suite with two floors and five bedrooms and three bathrooms and a view of the entire city spread out below. It probably could have fit her place six times over! She tiptoed over to the plush grey sofa in the living room and her feet sank into the fluffy white carpet as she set her pillow down. 

     “This is your house?” X asked him, her tone dripping with disbelief. Miguel grunted in acknowledgement, setting her water bottle down on the kitchen island before turning around to look at her. He leaned back against the island, folding his arms across his chest. 

     “Is there something wrong with it?” X shook her head quickly and turned around, making sure to absorb every part of her surroundings fully. 

     “No!” she reassured him, her expression awestruck as she studied his house. “It’s so big! Are you, like, a rich boy or something?” She turned to look at him, her lips curling in amusement as he gave her a confused look. 

     “A what?” She grinned.

     “A rich boy,” she repeated, gesturing to their surroundings. He turned his eyes away from her, shifting uncomfortably in position. 

     “Uh, yeah. I guess.” She swivelled around, ignoring his discomfort, and began making her way to the balcony. 

     “Ugh!” she groaned, waving her hands around dramatically. “I’m gonna have to marry you now, Miguel, I have absolutely no choice!” 

     He froze, unsure if he’d heard her right. ‘Marry’ him? Was that what she’d said? That she’d have to marry him? ‘Have’ to, like she had absolutely no choice in the matter? 

     “¿Qué?” He looked up, needing to hear her say it again. But she’d disappeared, walking out onto the balcony and leaving him behind. He ran after her. 

     “¡Arañita! ¡¿Qué?!” He rushed over to where she was standing, gripping onto the railing as she gazed out over the city. “What did you just say?” 

     She smiled, admiring the bright lights and the buzz of people still dashing through the streets, even when the moon was already so high in the sky. Miguel leaned over, trying to catch her gaze to get her to repeat what she’d said, still unable to believe that she’d actually said it. She refused to look at him, delighting in the puzzled expression on his face as she teased him. “Wow. This is so beautiful, Miguel.” 

     ¡Mierda, she was driving him mad! That relaxed smile on her face as she rejected his attempts to meet her eyes. He straightened, hardening his features and giving her a serious look. “X. What did you say just now?” 

     “What?” She grinned, finally looking up at him. “When I said I’m gonna have to marry you?” Again, she’d said it again! And so casually too, like it was just a fact of life, something inevitable they’d both have to accept. He gulped and nodded, completely at a loss for words. Her expression softened and she returned her gaze to the city, shuffling closer to him until her arm brushed against his. 

     “It’s okay,” she continued, her voice reassuring. She leaned over, resting her head against his arm. “I think we’ll be okay. Besides …” She pulled back slightly to look up at him again, her lips still curled into that mischievous smile. 

     “No one else is ever going to enjoy your company as much as I do. I won’t let them!” Her brows drew together in anger at the very thought, then her face broke into a grin again as she lowered her head back to his arm. How could she … How could she be so relaxed about this?! He gripped onto the railing, considering her words carefully. Was she really serious? He couldn’t tell. Not with that teasing smile she kept giving him every time she said it. But she kept saying it - why would she keep saying it if she didn’t mean it? If she didn’t want it to be true? He slid his gaze over to her, searching her demeanour for some hint as to what she was thinking, some clue. But she continued laying against his arm, her posture relaxed as she looked out at the landscape below them. Did she want it to be true? Did she … He shook the thought away, not wanting to think about it too hard. But what did it mean; if she wanted it to be true? What did it mean about the way she felt about him? And … what did it mean about the way he felt about her? His eyes drifted over to her again, his brain reminding him that he’d asked to stay the night, just so he could check up on her, just so he could make sure she was okay. She yawned suddenly, saving him from having to think about the situation any longer, and began heading back inside. 

     “Can we watch some TV or something?” she asked him, settling into the sofa. She looked up at him, waiting as he tried to collect his thoughts. 

     “Uh, um, yeah. Sure.” He sank onto the sofa, careful to leave a little space between them, and turned on the TV. “What do you want to watch?” She thought about it, then shrugged. 

     “I dunno. What kind of TV do you guys have?” He handed her the remote, unsure as to what she liked, but regretted his decision immediately when she landed on some trashy reality dating show. 

     “Really?” he asked her incredulously. “This trash?” She grinned and leaned back against the headrest, making herself comfortable. 

     “It’s nice to know it never gets old.” He rolled his eyes, but said nothing as she continued watching, the ache throbbing inside his chest finally easing up at the sight of her, safe and sound beside him again. 

     “What’s your favourite colour?” They’d gone to bed a while back, the two of them laying on their separate ends, their eyes trailing over one another as their hearts pounded with the excitement of sharing a bed together. He thought about it. 

     “Red.” She flashed him a smug smile, one he could easily make out in the dark. 

     “I knew it.” He rolled his eyes at her response. 

     “Why? Because it’s the colour of my suit?” She rearranged her features into a knowing expression.

     “Guys’ favourite colours are almost always red or blue,” she informed him. “You seem more like a red guy than a blue guy though.” 

     “Because I’m angry all the time?” He tried to keep his tone light, neutral, but it gnawed at his heart, how much he’d hurt her because of his fear. He really needed to manage his temper. 

     “No,” she reassured him softly. “You’re not angry all the time. You just seem more like someone who’ll go out and do things instead of sitting back and letting them pass you by. Red.” His lips twitched at her response, amused. Who knew a person’s favourite colour could tell you so much about them? 

     “What’s your favourite colour?”

     “Purple,” she replied immediately. “But that’s because of Barney.” 

     “Barney?” he repeated, confused. 

     “This big purple dinosaur I used to watch as a kid,” she explained. “He was my first crush.” She gave a dreamy smile, knowing he’d be able to make out the expression in the dark. His brows furrowed in disbelief.

     “Your first crush was a big purple dinosaur?” She laughed. 

     “Don’t worry, it gets worse from there. I also like Simba. And then probably Shahrukh Khan.” A brief silence fell over them as he attempted to come up with a response.

     “I have never heard of any of these people.” She chuckled again. 

     “I’ll show you one day,” she assured him. “What’s your favourite animal? And don’t say spider!”

Favourite animal now? What secrets would that reveal about him? 

     “Technically,” he began, his tone matter of fact, “a spider isn’t an animal. It’s an-”

     “Arachnid,” she finished, her voice softening with awe. “So it doesn’t fall into the kingdom Animalia.” A pause. And then she spoke in a dramatic whisper. 

     “I think I’m in love with you, Miguel.” 

     He froze, taken aback by the sudden confession. But did she mean it? Or was she just joking? Was she joking when she’d said it earlier; that she’d wanted to marry him? Or had she meant it then, just as she meant it now? He ground his teeth together, frustrated by her constant teasing. Santo cielo, she was going to drive him mad if she kept carrying on like this! He tried to brush it aside, to match her nonchalance, the casual tone she continued to use on him. 

     “Not the usual response.” She gave him a wicked smile and his stomach flipped over at the sight.

     “What? You wanted me to call you a huge nerd?” He frowned. 

     “Arañita,” he chastised her, his tone warning. She cuddled her pillow tighter, shuffling over to him slightly. 

     “It’s okay,” she told him gently. Then she lowered her voice, leaning into him like she was about to tell him a secret. “I think it’s kind of sexy.”

‘¡Ay, coño, arañita!’ he wanted to yell. ‘Stop messing with my head like that!’ But then she'd just give him that innocent look and ask him ‘like what, Miguel? How am I messing with your head?’ And she'd flash him that devious grin again, the one that made the adrenaline rush through his veins in anticipation of what she might do next - how she might tease him, getting him hot under the collar all while keeping that playful expression on her face. He swallowed, trying to come up with a very unsexy response. 

     “Because you're a huge nerd too?” He winced as it came out a little louder than expected - a little too desperate, he worried. But it didn't matter, because she still outwitted him anyway. 

     “You think I'm sexy?” She fluttered her eyelashes at him and he fought to suppress a groan. He wouldn’t think about it, wouldn’t think about how sexy she really was, her delicious curves making his mouth water with longing every time she stretched herself out. ¡Ay, coño, she was going to be the death of him one day! 

     “Go to sleep, arañita,” he grumbled, pulling the covers tighter over himself. She chuckled, delighted by how easy it was to fluster him. 

     “Good night, Miguel! 

     “Buenas noches, arañita.”

Tags: @leahnicole1219 @heubstr

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HII GM!!! i hope u had good worming time ehehe :3 anyway. now that you've spent some time w/ the undersiders & met a lot of the brockton bay wards & some of new wave + the prt!! i wanna hear ur thoughts on them in general + the world so far if u have any!! & also ur thoughts on like.... how powers happen & brian and taylor's origin stories etc if thats also something you've been thinking abt!! eyes emoji eyes emoji..

i am having SO much fun w worm. physically making myself put down my phone and walk away so i stop reading and do the productive things i promised myself i would do this weekend.

I AM SO. WARY. OF THE WARDS. I DONT TRUST THEM. its rlly cool 2 me that they all have powers that i myself would consider like. Bad or Scary. the emotion manipulation thing, the literal warping of time and space etc those are all things that i would be like. this feels overpowered to the point that i almost expect it more from a villain character to build dramatic tension. which. i guess in the meta sense still works bc theyre being set up as antagonists rn but you know what i mean!!!!!

i fully think we've reached the point where taylor is in way too deep to the extent that changing anything now would end horribly bad for her on both sides. shes still holding onto this thought that shes gonna have this dramatic reveal where she puts the villains in jail and the heroes welcome her with open arms. but after that conversation with armsmaster thats just !!!!!!! not going to fucking happen!!! it doesnt work like that!!! also there keep being these little sidebars and moments where she admits to herself that shes excited about villain work or like..a chance to hang out with her new friends. girl you are not going to join the protectorate i can see right thriugh your dumbass.

<< side note on all of this i have a little bit of a theory for this. i think tattletale probably. knows. she joined with the intention of betraying them eventually. im still sort offff kind of unclear as to the extent of lisas powers and how they work but at this point i dont know how she couldve possibly missed that huge elephant other than the possibility that she is intentionally ignoring it.

ANYWAY. IVE STRAYED FROM YOUR ACTUAL QUESTION IM SORRY I JUST LIKE THE UNDERSIDERS A LOT. i have a lot of thoughts on the meta of the story and the role reversal of "villains good heroes bad" that i know some cape media does sometimes and im not exactly sure jf thats what worm is going for but i AM AWARE OF IT . and i think that is playing a little bit of why i am biased like this. but this is not to say i dont like the heroes i wan 2 know everything about them. however i dont trust them. SUPER interested in what Amy's got going on w her dad and the fact that she fucking turned off taylors powers????? despite saying she wasnt gonna mess with brain stuff?????? i think amys gonna get rlly fucked up about something pretty soon. i could see her snapping and turning into some crazy supervillain esp in the last interlude where she talked about how much pressure she and others put on herself w healing everything and everyone.

uhhhhhhh what else. hey powers coming from trauma is pretty fucked up huh!!!!! u know whats rlly funny is like. i sort of expected it to be somethinf bad like that but i was also wasnt expecting the angle that like. the powers are unrelated to whatever the event was??????? like im sure u could find ways to connect each of their powers to their trigger event but its not ljke. obvious ?? i guess?? like taylor wasnt bittem by a radioactive bug that gave her bug controlling powers u know??? im rlly rlly excited 2 learn abt more characters trogger events just to like. expand the data pool and see if yhere is a correlation between the power that they get and the event that happens. or if the power theyre born with the potential of having is just set in stone or whatever. does that makr ANY sense

[moodr1ng]

(making my own post after being in someones replies again lol) i do think there was kind of a Moment on tumblr in i wanna say circa 2019-2021 where a lot of the accumulated biphobia that was present in the lgbt community at large and in particular on tumblr sort of blew up into a number of bi bloggers starting to talk a lot more on the subject and make a lot of posts explaining the material consequences of biphobia, the lack of support bisexuals have always gotten from the rest of the community, the specific biphobic opinions/takes that are popular both offline and in online communities, and also a lot of conversations about bisexuality, what its like to be bisexual, what it means to us, a ton of education on bisexual history, a lot of trans and nonbinary bisexuals talking about how bisexuality interacts w our genders, etc. at the time and being involved in all of this tangentially it felt a bit like a sort of tumblr bisexual renaissance where the pot finally boiled over and a ton of us started to be really loud and in your face about bisexuality and biphobia. i think this was a major reason for why a lot of takes that had previously been very widespread and either accepted or at least treated as debatable (thinking about butch/femme discourse for example) got rolled back and a lot of people who had been very casually biphobic all over the place suddenly changed their tune, switched their public opinions, and started sharing a lot more of support for bisexuals (though, tbh, i dont think i have seen literally one apology for past biphobia).

i do think there was some discourse that went a bit too far and ended up counterproductive (ive personally rolled back a lot of my past anger about the pansexuality vs bisexuality shit into a view that i think is a lot more charitable and community-oriented), but overall bisexuals on here did a lot of work to get heard, get understood, and get some much-needed support by the rest of the lgbt community, and there were also a lot of behind the scenes conversations where bi people created spaces like very active discord servers where bisexuality was explored in-depth among bisexuals, which tbh i largely credit for me being able to comfortably identify as bigender.

but, well, this Moment of bisexuals being loud and proud about bisexuality and refusing to continue to tolerate biphobia was met with, like, extremely caustic and vicious backlash which has led SO many bi bloggers who i followed, knew, was in servers and dms with, was/am friends with etc to either quit tumblr or move to new blogs where they only keep around vetted people and no longer widely engage w the topic of biphobia. my alter ran one of those blogs which i dont think could have really been qualified as popular, but which had a ton of constant interaction and some really big posts, all of which led to daily biphobic harassment as well as scrutiny of every other part of his identity and repeated cruelty about things that it was incredibly inappropriate for people to attack him on - some of you who followed him will recall the repeated attacks and accusations of ableism for his 'weird' typing style, despite a disclaimer on his blog that he types like this bc of autism+adhd+did, as well as a lot of vitriol and aggression which i think was at least partially racially motivated. like, im not even willing to disclose the url or his name here because im STILL paranoid about getting harassed years after he deactivated, which, like many others i know, he did because the constant biphobia was so bad for his mental health that the blog even just continuing to exist was not sustainable.

im not sure to what degree the conversations that were started on here during this time are continuing - im not seeing much of it anymore, but then again maybe im just not following the people having them - but it certainly feels like that Moment has died down now, though i certainly still feel the aftereffects in how a lot of people have changed their stances on bisexuality. it does feel like an acute loss still that so many bi people were effectively shut down and harassed off tumblr or into silence and reclusiveness by the backlash to bisexuals speaking out (and this especially imo affected bisexuals of color, especially black bisexuals, as per usual on tumblr). i miss the posts i would get to read daily as well as the very active discord servers and other conversations i got to be privy to at the time. i think this, as much as the discussions on biphobia themselves, rendered very explicit the degree of biphobia thats present within the lgbt community. as soon as a number of bisexuals got fed up with it and started to talk about it openly, the open and unashamed biphobia also ramped up.

ig the thing im stuck on is - were not talking about it as much, but all the people who dedicated themselves to harassing bisexuals into silence for years are still here. some stances have been changed and a lot of performative "we love bisexuals!" posts got shared but ultimately the work is still cut out for us going forward. however, i dont think i or my alter will be doing any of that work on tumblr in the future. the focus will have to be on real-life community to spare ourselves the backlash that comes from speaking about this on here.

idk, not sure how to end this whole tirade. i just happened to be thinking about all this earlier today and a mutual brought it up again just now so its on my mind. i do still miss that sense of heightened bisexual community that came from all of this. i personally not only was able to re-identify as bisexual after identifying as gay for a few years bc these conversations led me to reevaluate my sexuality in a more accepting light, but also i unlearned a ton of internalized biphobia which i had not only tolerated but often strongly believed myself, usually with a sort of self-flagellating notion of "i have to bow down to the rest of the community and accept that my opinion is inherently lesser because bisexuality is an inferior sexuality" which i only stopped believing after being in these bisexual communities. ig i just have to be content with the circle of bi friends ive built both online and offline and what benefits ive gained from these discussions.

[neonbodyache]

Heya dear mootie!🐍

I saw that you want to cosplay at a convention next year, what do you want to cosplay?~

Have you cosplayed before and if so what was your favorite one? ✨️

HI SVENN sry this took a while to answer omg i got excited and have a lot to say ok

My DREAM cosplays are locked behind my measurements and top surgery low key bc they involve bodysuits LMAO but spiderman has been my biggest fixation for the last 15 or so years and while ive done a miles morales cosplay in the past i was p pleased with i always layer clothes on top. have dreams of specifically the 70s tv show suit, the amazing spiderman 2 suit (my favorite live action suit), and as visually accurate as possible atsv miles suit

The sleeper agent cosplay that lives forever in my soul is the 42 prowler suit from atsv. There’s SO MUCH technical work that i want to put into it that i get overwhelmed and put it on back burner but whenever i remember i get almost obesssive. I have so many ideas. Actually right before i started dealing with some health issues i began learning from youtube vids how to wire LED light strips and code arduino boards so that the lights can animate in fun colors and soldering properly so that i could animate lights in his bracer claw. Was also building his helmet!I hope to pick it back up sometime but i dont have any space in my room anymore to work on it unfortunately

All my good progress pics are on my old phone but here’s some kinda crappy photos of early in the process lol, idk if they’re really legible. The last shot is messing around w diffusers which was rlly fun too

All that being said, I think the actual cosplay I’m gonna work on for this upcoming con is red from bomb rush cyberfunk bc he’s a lot simpler lol. I also might be going as Len kagamine w my younger sister as Rin (but with a cowboys and aliens twist on the characters) bc shes rlly into Vloid rn and wants to come with me and I’d love to go all out to support her, and tbh theres like 12 different jjba cosplays i wanna do at some point

Other cosplays i have done are akira fudo from devilman, death the kid from soul eater (my fave so far!) gumball from amazing world of gumball which is another i did w my kid sibling as darwin, an obligatory howls moving castle cosplay, and probs a handful more in my middle school years i cant remember so well any more. I’m very much a casual and dont take pics of my finished works or post them anywhere but i just think its a lot of fun to make stuff and go to things dressed up and will take any excuse to do so

[shadowmaat]

if i may, this post of yours-- https://www.tumblr.com/shadowmaat/763959006774640640/ive-been-here-too-long -- randomly showed up on my "based on your likes", and as someone who's also been in fandom for a long time (though not the star wars fandom which i do hear is especially bad LOL), i really don't think you have to be that worried about the motives in fic :(

racial caricature is a problem, but it's not too hard to suss out. then, if you like a whump or ship fic, who cares if it's secretly a punishment story or an excuse to lavish onesided love and affection onto a character? in fact, there's nothing wrong with the latter! it can make the story worse writing, but if you enjoy it, that part doesn't matter! no reason you can't also indulge in the love, the affection, and the Character! (if the issue for example is that he's a white guy and the other characters get less hype, u can hype up the other characters and engage w stuff that hypes them up, but u don't have to avoid stuff that lavishes love on the first kind of dude to compensate for fandom povs!)

(i am sorry for this out-of-nowhere ask "^^ you seem to be pretty far outside my circles (i don't know how u got recced!) and i thought some thoughts from outside yours might do u good with how ur feeling, but of course i don't have context and don't know u lololol)

Tumblr is a weird place with weird ideas about what to recommend, that's for sure. LOL!

Thank you for your words. I'm working hard to build up my resistance to conspiracy-brain thinking, but knowing you're overreacting doesn't always mean you can stop it from happening, y'know? Brains are terrible that way, but venting helps. And hearing from others helps, too, so thanks for reaching out across the chaos. :)

(ps: I love your icon. Bubs was one of my favorite parts of Space Sweepers.)

[hpdfag]

I didn’t get to see the pink theme sadly but this deeper red one is so cool?? It probably looks much better in dark mode but I have too many eye problems too use it all the time ngl…I’ll check it out later!

How have you been doing? I recently got a bit too BPD and now I’m in this little stage where I really wanna improve as a person, getting into self care and all that shit. It’s a bit silly, and I’m sure it’s something akin to mania, but I think it’s good for me to feel so stimulated to take care of myself! For me, it’ll get me a compliment or two from my FP and overall I’ll feel better for them. And I end up feeling good for myself so…happiness for the whole family!

Tell me a bit about how you’ve been doing and all, stuff that happened (if anything!) or anything on your mind. We’re always open-eared around you :}

- 🧶

THANK U THANK U !!!!!! ive been on an editing kick again so ive been messing w/ the themes on basically all of my blogs .. im glad u like this one :D

i've been doing really well!! it's similar for me actually, i'm finally doing some really hard work with my therapist and it sucks but it's making me want to get better. i really do believe that it's what i'm here to do, and it feels wonderful to have a purpose again. i always say that the meaning of life is something you have to find for yourself, but i never really bothered with it. i always considered myself a lost cause. but maybe i can get out of this. maybe one day i won't feel so small and scared ... it feels wonderful to feel wonderful :]

and it is good !! even if it's just mania, it's always good to take care of yourself. i always relearn some unfortunate truths whenever i bother with self care like "i feel more like a person when i bother to shower and eat breakfast" LOLOL

overall i've been doing a lot better i think :] im finally starting to break out of the mindset i worked myself into with my ex and im feeling much better for it. i've actually had several people irl tell me that im looking visibly better completely unprompted and it catches me off gaurd every time haha

i haven't been doing much but !! im hoping to get back into the swing of things, especially with school coming up in september ... but it's gonna be the last year before college!! im a senior!! wtf!! it feels weird going into senior year at 16 but i did start kindergarten at like 4 years old so i guess it tracks /silly

right now the project i want to get back on is my neocities ... it's a total mess right now while i figure out html and css, but hopefully eventually i can make it my own !! it's very vaguely space themed right now but eventually i wanna theme it off of myself since like. all of our interests come and go but unfortunately i remain /silly .. it'll be difficult but lots of fun !! (i have it linked here if u wanna poke around it in its current laughably unfinished state, itll look best on google chrome on desktop!)

ive been spending a bit more time with my mom recently too, ive been rewatching some of my favorite anime with her and we're gonna watch some newer ones too!! (we've gotten thru evangelion and madoka magica so far, and we're gonna start cowboy bebop next ^_^)

auauauaua ive started rambling like hell but !! im glad to be able 2 chat with u, it's always one of the highlights of our day :]

[furymint]

2023 Creator Reflection

ffxiv.

1. dance me to the end of love

this one was fun! i always like merging a character's outfit with the bg so i liked doing that again. picking the colors for elliots outfit was also enjoyable. ive wanted to make smth w that cover for a while

2. shame was still the tyrant of his life

i only wrote two nol and eli things this year and neither of them are finished. the first was a continuation of a scene where nol kisses elliot against the blue stained glass in his room--i once posted it but then i deleted it bc it made me feel woozy for its allusions to sex. i wanted to rebuild it and take a shot at it now that im comfortable writing n reading sex, but i never got very far. theres actually lots of nice parts! i just like nols dumb angsting the best!

3. valentine

i really wanted to focus on nol's eye here, but also not make it too obvious lol. i used a ps filter like a schmuck but i wanted it to be darker without making it even more difficult to see, so i took away their bodies and limited the colors to make it what it is.

4. amateur cracksmen

the second nol n eli wip, which doesnt have many interesting lines rn, was a raffles-inspired story where eli drags nol as his valet to a rival artist's house and tries to steal back the brooch that he bought from an underground dealer feat. much babbling abt the state of societal responsibility that war is supposed to bring

ffxvi.

1. herz an herz dir

i wrote some reflections about this one already here. i honestly was very (distressed voice) cant believe im writing pure fanfic for the first time in over ten years and lacked a lot of direction when i started bc uhhhhh terence has 8 and a half mins of screen time. i tried to convince myself that it's not much different than me stealing brucemont for my own evil devices, but the unique perspective of seeing quite so much fan content def influenced my interpretation. i wanted their relationship to be much more imbalanced from the get-go initially--dion using his power unintentionally and terence barely passing a thought abt it until later bc he's just so accustomed to obeying--but i ended up giving terence a lot more sway & ammunition in their argument. the breakfast bed thing is also smth im rly fond of.

2. mund an mund

there's also additional meta for this one here. i made a silly doodle abt it also. dion kept picking fights here! it honestly turned out how i expected. when i first started this fic, i was gonna have dion start out right in oriflamme and meet ter and kihel there, but i booted them to northreach so i could have this stretch of conflict. i think it's like. Bad Pacing. technically. if i still believe the conflict introduced in the next chapter is the core one, that is. which i sorrrrta do. but i dont care bc i rly like the visual of kihel laying in dion's lap and getting to put a gun on the wall w ahmed.

3. eines atems

its been two months since the last chapter and this chapter is humiliatingly not written. i have all my scrambled notes and scenes that i jotted down in between the first two chapters, so i have a full direction, but it's been really difficult to write lately. ive been devoting all my time to trying to recoup my mental health and work on my teredio secret santa. ill start next year with this wip as a priority, so for now i only have the photoshop edit for it. kihel is holding terence's hand--it's his pov turn.

overall i didnt like this year very much. i didn't read, create, research or do a lot even though i tried to. i became really disconnected from all of my friends bc im too tired to stay for rp or hold online conversations. at this point, i dont play ffxiv at all except the few times i managed to rp a little. i moved into nanny's house and have my own space, but don't have the presence of mind to do anything about my pc, books, and so on, although i did make a lot of progress rewrapping my books w fresh wraps and some other things. my plans for next year are to reach out to a couple of my friends, build my pc, relearn + rebuild + relaunch my queer lit blog on open source code, survive school, and rediscover the productivity ive lost the past few years.

teredio has helped me a LOT to find community, inspiration, and art in my loneliest year yet. im very proud of my fic and grateful every day to the ppl who have reached out to me about liking it. even if im sorry about my productivity rate in comparison to how many extraordinary writers there are in the ship's fandom, i know i have to be easy on myself to relearn how to write, create a writing schedule that works for me, and stop punishing myself when i cant get the words out.

past reflections:  2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

[tipsy-scales]

Wowowow my YouTube channel has reached 500 subscribers 🥹

I’ll do a commemorative breakdown of the channel so far—

Read below the cut if you’re into the lore lol

So far I have 27 videos! I started wanting to do needlefelt + discussion but got rlly into customizing figures & then into dolls.

My original plan was to do crafting + discussion but to keep it vague. Like oh a craft? surprise! A mini essay! But I’m proud of my discussion points & I think I lose potential audience by not mentioning it so now when I promo the videos I talk about what my discussion points are.

So far my most viewed videos are:

Making Lust’s nendo doll (I was going to do the rest of the homunculi. I still have all the parts but I wanna buy an airbrush & im scared)

And my review on nendo doll Len Kagamine! I actually 😔 sold him off a while after

Views suggest my vids should be 15-25 minutes but I keep making long ones 😮‍💨Ive put in effort to split things up. My Selim custom doll vid included blushing but I split it into a separate vid for 2B/9S

My longest video is about the NieR concert at 2 hours 🤐

This one’s a vlog which is my poorest performing type but it did ok for what it was. This one’s more of a personal vid using the concert as backdrop.

Atm the series I’ve made most vids about is Fullmetal Alchemist at 7

The topic w the most videos is Figures w 7

I think doll videos are very promising though! However I’ve tried to space them out bc I don’t want to be seen as a doll channel only (+pressure to get more dolls)

The next video I’m working on is about getting into Ouji fashion. Then I want to follow with some doll photo diaries & more custom figure projects. I’m out of the job atm which is unfortunate but I hope to get the most out of my free time until I figure things out.

Anyway here’s my channel if you’d like to check it out. It’s been fun ironing out the channel & I rlly enjoy making videos. I can’t believe I started a YouTube lol

[oswlld]

ive decided recently that im making myself commit to a full reading year for 2023. i really like what i have going on with my watchlist and plan to apply a similar system for my tbr. so far, i think i can manage one book and one collection of short stories/poem a month, ✨HOWEVER✨ i have no idea where i want to start.

i had a tendency to juggle two/three books at one time, which ended up with me having more dnfs than completed ones. not that anything i picked was particularly bad or boring, but having worked in publishing (esp in a position that led to severe burnout) made me feel like it was a chore when it should have been a source of comfort or enjoyment.

wanna get back into that without waiting for The Book to reel me in, yk?

in order to figure out what i want to read this year, i’ve decided to sample my nightstand and take it from there. i have 21 books that i have to cut down to 11 by the end of the month. got no real barometer for how many pages to start, but sufficient enough for me to really get a vibe before i move on. 

i will keep the sample list updated throughout the month and see where this goes. tbh, i hope this system sticks!

READ || PASS - The Starless Sea, Erin Morganstern ON THE FENCE? || PASS - Kaikeyi, Vaishnavi Patel READ || PASS - The King of Infinite Space, Lyndsay Faye READ || PASS - Harlem Shuffle, Colson Whitehead READ || PASS - The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Taylor Jenkins Reid ON THE FENCE? || PASS - Crying in H Mart, Michelle Zauner READ || PASS - Cloud Cuckoo Land, Anthony Doerr (a dnf im picking up again) READ || PASS - Scythe, Neal Shusterman READ || PASS - The Gravity of Us, Phil Stamper READ || PASS - The Regional Office is Under Attack!, Manuel Gonzales READ || PASS - Superminds, Thomas W. Malone READ || PASS - Circe, Madeline Miller ON THE FENCE? || PASS - Ninth House, Leigh Bardugo (a dnf im picking up again) ON THE FENCE? || PASS - I'll Give You the Sun, Jandy Nelson READ || PASS - Babel, R. F. Kuang READ || PASS - The Fifth Season, N. K. Jemisin READ || PASS - Illuminae, Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff (a dnf im picking up again) READ || PASS - Originals, Adam Grant READ || PASS - The Forgetting Time, Sharon Guskin READ || PASS - The Atlas Six, Olivie Blake (a dnf im picking up again)

NOTE: i have an idea what will be on my shortlist for the short stories/poems, but i wont be tracking it as rigorously as the above; theres just no way i can turn off that part of my brain that wants to juggle stories, so this is my solution.

[sea-jello]

Hello !

I saw the ask you got about drama and copyright issues and maybe me feeling dismissive about drama stems from me just having being involved in theatre for years ??? I think casting is bound to cause some drama in the short term but i dont think anything long term will stem from it

Maybe its me being hopeful and having faith that the fandom based around a musical will be understanding of and respectful towards whatever casting decisions are made seeing as thats kinda just what happens in theatre????? Sometimes you dont get the part you want (if you even get cast at all) and it kinda sucks! But there will always be another opportunity. Shows will be put on again, and you never only have just one chance. Sure not getting the part you want is never and its okay to be sad about it, but sometimes someone else just fits the role better and theres not much that can really be done there. Id like to hope that everyone auditioning goes into it w an open mindset and will take whatever part they get w grace and treat casting like they would casting in a more traditional production (<- is a person who hasnt been active in online musical spaces in a few years. Take my words w a grain of salt i might not know what im talking about here)

If it does genuinely end up being a big issue though, maybe we could do smth w a cast a and a cast b ??? So that way more people get a chance to play a major character. It would be a lot more work as far as audio editing goes, but if theres enough of a want for it a second cast isnt impossible or anything. Itd honestly just take a bit more time to get out

As far as copyright goes thats! Iffier. Its weird and its wonky and itd be a bit of a pain but there are ways to deal w it

The easiest and simplest option is to only have the final version available to those who worked on it directly. No promotion, no making it public, just a fun thing for everyone who worked on it (and maybe their friends), and thats it. Itd be unfortunate to make a project like this so limited, but its the legal option that requires the least amount of effort 😔✌️

The other option would be to obtain the rights to put on the musical. I was curious about how much it would cost and after finding the copyright holders and filling out their mock form, it would come out to about 275 USD ????? Which is a lot! Thats a lot of money to pay out of pocket for a project that likely wont be monetized at all!

But, having said that, 275 starts to feel a lot smaller when you take into consideration how many people are interested in taking part. I think you mentioned about 30 or so people filling out the form??? If those 30 people individually contributed 10 USD (which is smth ive actually seen mandatory for a lot of non profit theatre companies and school shows) we would have some money left over even

275 is really only a lot if its just one person paying for it. I do 100% realize that having a cost would probably change this project a bit just by nature of real life money being involved, but i do still want to point out that its an option if youre willing to take it. Also i want to mention that the mock form said real prices might not be reflected. They didnt have an option for digital shows for where itd be put on, so if location impacts it at all 275 probably wont be the final cost 💔💔 (id like to hope the final cost would be lower though since it does assume the show in question is a more traditional in person show :') )

Also actually now that im thinking about it theres a secret third option which would be to combine the two???? Start out w it being just for everyone who worked on it but then put out a little interest check and fundraiser to see how many people would be interested in buying it. Kinda like what some physical print zines do but just w a musical instead! It would require putting a paywall on the final show which would also be kinda super unfortunate and a massive shame, but if enough people are interested its another way to deal w the licensing fees. Also if the project gets more money than the licensing costs maybe the leftovers could be donated or smth. Idk

Copyright is to me a much bigger issue than casting drama could ever be just bc of the legal issues it could bring up, but there are still definitely definitely ways to get around and deal w them ( ^^)b

(Btw @ the anon who kinda got me thinking about this and led me to send an ask in response, this is nothing against you !! I genuinely think bringing up copyright and potential dramas is a good thing to do especially so early on into a project like this. And running into copyright issues specifically could kill this project faster than anything else could tysm for bring that up genuinely :')

Also op sorry for such a long ask orz )

yeah casting will definitely raise some issues but there are after all only 8 major roles, you said it better than i ever will sjdjgkl also this is literally my first online musical space i got into bmc in like MARCH what am i doing

i actually have been thinking about doing an act 1 cast and an act 2 cast, but thats gonna raise the issue of finding two people with similar voices for one character so its not too jarring. we could totally do it but thats just more work for the casting people i feel. i mean if theyre up for it we could, again we'll just wait and see. there probably would be understudies too, and ive been thinking about having multiple voices for small sections of people who were squipped, like rich in the squip song, or jenna and christine in pitiful children/the play, even the creepy stock guy. there will be one "main" actor but maybe understudies will do underlying voices. will be a little more work for the editors so again we'll see

COPYRIGHT here we go. i really dont want to limit this project so the only option would be to pay. i did a tiny bit of googling and "Section 107 of the Copyright Act provides the statutory framework for determining whether something is a fair use and identifies certain types of uses—such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research—as examples of activities that may qualify as fair use." now if we were doing like one song then that would be fine, but we're attempting to remake the WHOLE THING, so i really think we might have to buy the rights which hm. wow.

i dont know if people are willing to pay 275 dollars for something that might not even succeed, so i think if we go through with this then we work on it first and see our progress. if it looks like we might succeed in actually doing the whole thing then we'll set up a thing for people to donate. to my understanding as long as we buy the rights we can release it to the public?? so as long as we get the 275 dollars we can release it, so it wont be only limited to the people who paid. but if we dont get enough then idk what to do with the money. maybe donate it or just wait until we hit 275. or we set a price and give it to the people who paid, sorta like a vip subscription or something

i actually have SIXTY RESPONSES as of now and its been at 60 for a while so if everyone gives 5 usd then we would have more than enough. ofc not everyone would be willing to pay tho so its really a gamble. i checked out the mock form too and are we even able to buy them if we're producing it digitally?? all that about ticket fees and average attendance if we cant even get the rights then theres no way we can release it to the public

im ngl i dont think i can do the actual licensing so we might need someone to handle finances specifically. also im not even a legal adult i really dont know if i should 💀💀 we gotta find someone responsible

YES everybody say thank you to anon for bringing problems up it would be bad if everyone got hyped only to realize we cant even do it

[temporarymoods]

mwah

scatch what i said on that last post. idk her. im CHILLINGGGGG!!!

MarMon today: yes I celebrated. you gotta. duh. Patriot's Day-- a Mass thing!? Hilarious.

We went to the race and yelled and screamed and cheered on at various points. Walked a bunch. Got sunburnt in that shallow way, but my nose is pink. It was pretty emotional! So proud of everyone. Kept thinking that this is kind of one of the best things humanity can do. Anyway-- B)

Got sambas, lmfao?! Trying to look like a boy. Followed by some really good pasta. and then trying to look like a girl. i went to a frat! for the first time! i got champagne on my sambas. christened. the person who clocked me as queer at the party said "christened" after i had minutes prior. yeah. a good thing

- - i know the gender thing of it is ridiculous but for some reason my soft complicated body craves that sexual weirdness between men and women and particularly these young men and women in that..disgusting atmosphere. a disgusting atmosphere. really hungry for that generalization.. it's true. im really attracted to men

other than that^ being tough,

i went DANCINGGG!!!!!1!1!11!!11!!

and I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!111!1

What a GREAT night!!! i can't put into words how amazing i feel even though that is why i came here...shucks. has the moment past? did i spend too much time on the queue?

My foot is sore as I type this. I came home so inspired and read up on country swing vs other kinds (I knew jazz swing was the thing, and swing dancin aint line dancin !) then i listened to a lot of good music:

Slow Dancing - Aly & AJ * total classic for me lmao. damn they have the best spotify top 5

Let's Get Married - Bill Elliot Swing Orchestra * when i didn't yet understand that i had to look up **country** swing music. now i know ;) god i cant wait to go again

-- what is it?! i think its that i really love to dance, to move my body, to try and get it right, to improve? to be good? to have fun in a choreographed way. to conform. the do the correct thing. idk

here's what i think its really about: i think i like smootheness. and i like the click of a phenomenon you can't pull a word for. and short counts. and intention. and shape. mostly shape. beat, sure, too. i like beat. i like rising to it, and not tiring. i dont know how i get so obsessed. i need to go back. that was exactly what ive been looking for for months, and what i thought i found but only got in part in the club, which i go to for the dancing, the loud music, the blindingness. but i dont contribute there. my ears are filled but the sound can only vibrate me a little. im not, swung, literally. and i cant provide energy to the space like you can witcha boots awn. so yeah, i think thats really it. dancing. i fucking love dancing. ive always fucking loved dancing. for real! really! i never got that good, yeah. but i fucking loved it thats for sure. i always wanted someone to actually teach me shit. they didnt do that enough in theatre. maybe they did. maybe i just wasnt that talented. not now though. dead. fucking. ass. just input my entire work calendar that i have access to because this shits getting real my life is mine and theres fan fucking tastic things to be doing with it.

alright...i could continue...i'll pick up the rest in my dairy ;* not gonna get too personal, phew. uhm. eh hem.

That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain

Tequila - Dan + Shay

End of Beginning - Djo * lmao i got on this because i saw some interview w him online as im jamminggugghh i got sucked in. then all this happened:

Change - Djo * so much better than the one blowin up btw

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics, etc * i looked up more songs like Change :| hahaha. then all this happened:

Lifetime - Yves Tumor

Pop Song - Perfume Genius

Here Comes the Rain Again - Eurythmics, etc

Here Comes Your Man - Pixies

Eye in the Wall - Perfume Genius

Boys - Amen Dunes * at this point my original mission is fucked. the intention's gone. i'm so far from where i started: country lovin

at the same time the joint i rolled before we went out and shared on the way home is getting its way through my system for sure. its approaching 2am, woah! full day tomorrow but not nearly as inspired at this one. this one's literally how you're supposed to live . well maybe beer not getting stolen at the bar mmmm. mhm. yeah i'll tack that on as well.

i didnt, dont, want to let go of tonight skrrreorgihveouhv!!!! uuuummm! yeah i should keep thinking about it. : ) : ) hehehehehe

Man! I Feel Like a Woman! - Shania Twain

<3 , so much ;)

Kate

[eldritch-spouse]

Living Meat Anon here! ah Pinnie that wasn't gross at all! Id honestly love to smash the mimic! He wants to blend in so bad maybe he should learn more about what humans do for *fun*, cue his curious little human roommate teaching him about various sexual positions and kinks, which he insists will help him in the process of attacking his lunch when they're at their most vulnerable, which ofc he'd never actually do cuz these acts are reserved for him and his roommate (tho he'd never tell them) (1)

I also like the idea of him having no concept of space or boundaries. No you cant follow me into the bathroom! No you cant watch me shower! Do you even need to- wtf why are half of my clothes missing!? Sometimes having to be dominate, or keep him on a leash so to speak (oop- is that me projecting my tastes??) The closet scene with the regular mimic in the vid i shared tho did have me sweating haha...I could only imagine how his hypothetical heat would be like! Scary stuff...but still so fun! I also love the Host! I imagine him to be a touchy slut you have to be cautious about cause he has the potential to kill you if youre not careful or get him upset. I could see a human making a deal w/ a host in return for their life where theyd agree to bring him some humans he can infect w/ his spores or eat. Considering there are only a few hosts in the world, i can see him curious enough to try mating with his human accomplice to continue his bloodline even if theres a 0 chance itll work. Im surprised you didn't comment on the monoliths tho! Id smash them too, even tho we don't know much about them yet and they don't really move. They're tall asf and I'd worship the ground they stand on! Side note, I'd keep a Trimming as a pet, they're so ugly it's cute XD Anyways, sorry for the word vomit I just got excited to share my thoughts on this with someone! I haven't gone through everything myself either but ive been enjoying things so far! Love ya! - Living Meat Anon, Monsterfucker

I have to agree on the closet scene, that was fucking beautiful, I'm a sucker for chase scenes. And though it saddens me that we don't get to see clearer shots of them, I understand it's a production choice.

I don't know if you're going to have a lot of luck with leashes, or maybe you will, I bet it mostly depends on their temper.

I also like to think, although this has no scientific basis, that the mimics may enter a heat after they transform into an elder mimic (or the alternative route)- Because that might be their peak physical form, aka the state in which they're likely to attract more mates. And if there aren't any other mimics around, then chances might be high that the elder will snatch his little human up, given there's a lot of visual and behavioral compatibility. It's a good concept, in my eyes.

With all those roots, I have to agree that the Host is probably a touchy one. But you can make this scenario a whole lot more horrifying if you consider how clingy these beings may be. Putting hunting practices aside, I can imagine Hosts get lonely. Bored. And they wouldn't want their pretty human away for too long, right? Because what are you up to then? Moving expends quite a bit of energy, so why won't you just stay still next to him and be good? There's definitely always the threat of spores, which they'll probably use to keep their little bait-human compliant.

I didn't mention the monoliths, not from lack of interest, but mostly because we have so little to work with. Plus, they kind of look like stick men with very undefined bodies. I'm not shitting on the author/artist, they're talented, I just don't have a clear idea of what to do with monoliths yet. Imagine one of them was just ripped, like shredded. Lmao.

Trimmings remind me of hairless cats, I would also like to keep one. You could probably train one to alert you to the presence of mimics or other, more nefarious types of carnis. Plus, they're not that hard to feed. Good pets!